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February 2009

Fall’s Here! Masquerade, Bag Ladies Bus Tour & King’s Island Pride Set

How can you tell it’s Fall? Because Indiana’s calendar gets jammed with activities including the annual Grande Masquerade, Bag Lady Bus Tour and King’s Island Pride Night. Full stories are inside, but here are the basics: —Ready for more pride? The annual King’s Island Pride Night is set for Friday 9th September when the event returns for the 15th year. It’s a night to meet family and friends and support Greater Cincinnati’s Gay and Lesbian Community Centre. Full Story is on Page 31. —The annual Bag Lady Bus Tour is set to prowl again this year for the 31st time on Saturday 29th October. It all kicks off with a launch party in September. Story On Page 25 inside. —Plan now for the Damien Centre’s 24th annual Grande Masquerade. It’s set for Saturday 22nd October with a theme of Mad Masquerade. You can find all the details inside on Page 48.

Pride’s Finales...

Entertainer Joel Wayman gave it all he had at Fort Wayne Pride, above, while at right the shadows lengthened as the sun set on pride season at Lafayette’s OUTfest 20th August. More of the final 2011 pride photos are inside on Pages 30 and 38.

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February 2009

Fall’s Here! It’s Time For Louisville AIDS Walk King’s Island Pride & Beaux Arts Ball How can you tell it’s Fall? Because the calendar gets jammed with activities including the annual Beaux Arts Ball, King’s Island Pride Night and Louisville AIDS Walk. Full stories are inside, but here are the basics: —First, ready for more pride? The annual King’s Island Pride Night is set for Friday 9th September when the event returns for the 15th year. It’s a night to meet family and friends and support Greater Cincinnati’s Gay and Lesbian Community Centre. Full Story is on Page 31. —The annual Louisville AIDS Walk is next on the calendar and will step off at 3 p.m. Sunday 25 September from the Belvidere and cross the Clark Bridge. Info at www. www.louisvilleaidswalk.org Full story on Page 3. —Plan now for the Voices of Kentuckiana Beaux Arts Ball set Saturday 15th October at the Horseshoe Casino & Hotel. The “Queen of Clubland”, Martha Wash will be the featured entertainer. For tix and more info check out www.beauxartsball.com

Pride Finales...

Entertainer Joel Wayman gave it all he had at Fort Wayne Pride, above, while at right the shadows lengthened as the sun set on pride season as Lafayette’s OUTfest was held 20th August. More of the final 2011 pride photos are inside on Pages 30 and 38.

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Louisville To Bridge The Gap With AIDS Walk 2011 LOUISVILLE—Louisville AIDS Walk has a new leader, a lot of new blood involved on the organising committee plus a traditional route which makes it the region’s premier event. The new boss (actually director of the Louisville AIDS Walk) is Michael York and the new people working with him on the committee to make the whole event happen are promising a lot more enthusiasm and excitement than in years past. The good thing is the route is unchanged, making for the best scenery and the most symbolic walk anywhere — across the Ohio River and back on the Clark Memorial (2nd Street) Bridge. Thus the continuing bridge to hope theme. Date for this year’s 5k (3.2 mile) event is Sunday 25 September and as usual it all starts at the Belvidere and crosses the 2nd Street Clark Bridge....registration and entertainment on the Belvedere begins at 1 p.m. and the walk steps off promptly at 3.

so the crossing of the Ohio River and inclusion of both Kentucky and Indiana is not just symbolic, but a real part of what the walk is and where the money raised will be used. Major corporate sponsors are Horseshoe of Indiana and

Macy’s. “We are trying to break down the barriers and stigma of HIV/AIDS so that it is no longer considered a gay disease, but a human disease,” York noted.

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York noted, “There will only be a walk this year --- no bike ride or run to allow us to concentrate on making this the best event ever.” One addition walkers will notice is 4-legged walkers as pets are welcome this year. “We are pet friendly,” York noted, adding “Children in strollers and wheelchairs are also very welcome because we’d like everyone to attend and take part.” Registration for the walk will be taken on the day, the new chairman noted, “But we encourage pre-registration online at www.louisvilleaidswalk.org” He added that the walk itself is free; however “this is a celebration and remembrance so we urge you to ask your friends to donate. Those raising over $75 will receive a walk t-shirt. There will also be a 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize for those who bring in the most donations.”

Jerry Roseberry jroseberry@farmersagent.com 920 N Shadeland Ave Suite G1A Indianapolis, IN 46219

The committee is hoping to better last year’s total of $186,000 because of increasing community needs and decreasing governmental support due to budget cutting. “Last year we raised $186,000 but we are in desperate need this year to allow us to bring in and continue services which have been cut by government and other grants. We average 3,000 to 4,000 people each year and we also hope to better that in 2011,” York told The Word. The Louisville AIDS Walk is put on by the AIDS Service Centre Coalition which comprises 14 different agencies in Louisville and Southern Indiana

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(EDITOR’S NOTE—For those in The Word’s circulation area outside Indiana, the basis for this first story involves a married, Republican, conservative state legislator who was outed by the state’s largest newspaper after he allegedly contracted with an 18-year-old boy from the internet to meet him for pay-for-play sex at a downtown Indianapolis hotel. The story got murkier when the boy apparently was told who his partner was and got cold feet but was not allowed to leave. The boy, according to the media, locked himself in the hotel room’s bathroom and called his sister on his mobile. She rescued him and outed the legislator to his family and the press. The paper reported bribes of cash and an iPad were offered to keep the whole incident quiet; however e-mails and communications arranging the tryst were found and published.) THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL

That’s the day the then five-term incumbent was exposed by The Indianapolis Star for his role in an alleged sex-for-hire scheme. Before that scheme played out it’s alleged that Hinkle and / or members of his family offered up substantial hush money.

IN YOUR CORNER

Indiana State Rep. Phil Hinkle (R) swept onto the front pages of newspapers statewide 12th August — and he’d probably just as soon have remained in the background.

BAIRD

By Rick Sutton / Political Columnist

Thirdly: Hoosiers recognise WHY Rep. Hinkle felt the need to act as he did and in the manner he did. Please Continue On Page 24

BARBARA J

Your Vote Counts

fellow Hoosiers the depth of emotion he experienced on the 12th of August and shortly thereafter.

By now, the details are all too well known. Sharks circled in the water and Hinkle went into seclusion. Whether he can hold onto his legislative seat remains to be seen as of presstime, but I can say that top-ranking Republican party officials were less than enthusiastic about that possibility. A little perspective on this tale, especially for my readers in states with their own drama but little knowledge of this tawdry episode: **Too many gay Hoosiers live in the closet. They’re in the closet because they’re scared. Scared of losing family, friends, lifestyle, jobs…all of which are valid fears. But sooner or later, as with most human beings, that kind of repeated cover-up (a polite word for lying) over long periods of time, bleeds into all aspects of the individual’s life — often with very sad results, whether the person ends up out or closeted. **Hypocrisy is a funny thing — it’s a pill too bitter for most, but it abounds in business and politics. Rep. Hinkle did not support the gay and lesbian community when he had the legislative opportunity to do so. To be fair, only one person in the entire House Republican Caucus did so. And he’s likely to face stern 2012 primary opposition for his misdeed.

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If Rep. Hinkle were alone among legislators in his attitudes and lifestyle it might be easier to overlook. But we all know he’s not alone. And that’s the underlying problem. Ask around or just pay attention: In every corner of our society there are marginalised men and women who live in fear of being “discovered.” Ultimately, unless they’re unbelievably brilliant, the hiding leads to destructive behaviour. That’s a pity because in this particular case, Rep. Hinkle had a reputation for being fair-minded on most issues. But, at the risk of sounding pious this has to be asked of him: How does it feel, Rep. Hinkle, to have society turn on you like a pack of wolves? Welcome to the “Real World” of thousands of closeted gay men and women in this state (and everywhere). And how firm is that closet door? Firm enough to make liars out of decent folks. Strong enough to contribute to mental health statistics ranging from mild depression to suicide. Here’s hoping that this whole episode can become one giant teachable moment. First, though, let’s get this out of the way: Paying for sex is inappropriate, risky and illegal. It cannot be condoned — ever. And the apparent intimidation factor was heavy in the air in this case, too. That can’t be allowed because of the message it sends to all who value liberty. Although some gay, lesbian, bi and trans warriors demand revenge or justice in myriad ways what if the following could or would happen? First and foremost: Rep. Hinkle is able to come to grips with his actions, his lifestyle and his family, hopefully in a constructive way that preserves the solid parts of the word “family.” Secondly: Whatever peace the Hinkle family reaches, Rep. Hinkle is able to describe to

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October Deadline

Friday 16th September Papers On Street: Tuesday 27th September

The Word is published the last week of every month at 110 E. Washington St., Suite 1402, Indianapolis, 46204. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines will be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in The Word, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2011 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval. Phones: Indy: 317/725.8840 * Cincinnati: 513/828.8652 * Louisville: 502/454.4877 e-mail: ted@midwestword.com


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Around Town HOLIDAY AIDS PROJECT WANTS TO CLEAN YOUR CAR EVANSVILLE—The AIDS Holiday Project will hold a car wash on Saturday 10th September from 10 a.m. till 3 p.m. at the CVS Pharmacy, 1145 Washington Avenue, Corner of U.S. Highway 41 and Washington Avenue, Evansville. Multiple youth groups including the TSA youth group will staff this event. The project works to meet the needs of 375 low-income households impacted by HIV/AIDS in a three-state area. MR. MIDWEST LEATHER SET FOR ST. LOUIS ST. LOUIS—The weekend of 30 September & 1st October will see the annual Mr. Midwest Leather Contest taking place in St. Louis. Organisers told The Word, “It should be bigger and better than last year. Our goal is to get over 400 attending the contest. The winner of the Mr Midwest Leather title not only represents the Midwest Leather community, but has to be an enthusiastic supporter of related causes and events, as well as being well versed in Leather lore and culture. The title is not just about the sash; it’s a means for doing good for the community. Being confident while answering questions in minimal Leather attire doesn’t hurt, either.” The actual contest venue will be Bad Dog Bar & Grill, 3960 Chouteau Avenue, St. Louis. Friday night will be a meet & greet where the contestants are introduced to the audience and judges. Saturday afternoon will be the judges’ interviews (closed to the public) and Saturday night will be the actual contest. Following the contest the Mr. Midwest Leather Ball will be held at Bad Dog where the audience can meet the new Mr. Midwest Leather. Visit the website at www.MrMidwestLeather.com for more information. POSITIVE LIVING OF INDIANA SETS BBQ INDIANAPOLIS—Positive Living of Indiana, open to those infected and affected with HIV/AIDS will hold an End-Of-Summer Sizzle with a BBQ social Saturday 24th September from 3 p.m. until ???. Organisers promise good food, good fun and good folks. The event will take place at 114 Miley Ave. (off West Washington St., west of the Indianapolis Zoo.) For more information send an e-mail to positivelivingofindiana@gmail.com or ring the group’s director, Greg Cork, on 317/710.0655. NATE WESSEL NAMED TO CINCINNATI CENTRE BOARD CINCINNATI—Centre volunteer, Nate Wessel has been appointed to the board of the Greater Cincinnati Gay and Lesbian Centre as a director. Michael X. Chanak, PR chairman for the Centre, told The Word, “Nate is well known in the local community having served as a former officer of the Out on Campus (now UC Alliance), and GLSEN (The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) where he serves both as the volunteer coordinator and a board member. He has volunteered for the Centre  for nearly three years, including a role as Co-Volunteer Coordinator for the last Pride sponsored by The Centre in 2009 in Northside.”  Beyond his role as a “front desk volunteer”, Nate is also known for his urban activism which can be seen on his web site: www.cincymap.org  Currently, over  26,000 copies of his improved transmit map are in circulation and Nate promises more maps are “on the way!” Nate, a student at the University of Cincinnati, is in his 4th year in the College of Design Architecture and Planning. He works at his “day job” as a bike mechanic at the UC Bike Kitchen.   GOTH PROM SET 19th OCTOBER INDIANAPOLIS—Join the magic, mystery, and musings of Indianapolis’ Second Annual Goth Prom at Birdy’s 71st and Keystone. This year’s theme is a Time Traveller’s ball. Headlining performer is Voltaire’s Black Unicorn Cabaret: A Villainous Vaudeville of Bawdy Burlesque, Music, Mischief and Mayhem With Voltaire, This Way to the Egress, The Hellblinki Sextet and girls! girls! girls! Three of the finest Dark Cabaret bands are joined by local burlesque performers for a night not to be missed nor forgotten. For information visit www.tinyurl.com/gothpromindy

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Music Corner By DJ "Miss" Hill / MJ's Cafe / Dayton

Catch DJ “Miss” Hill at MJ’s Café, Dayton Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Hill’s Top 10. Based on dance floor results & requests (Not what he thinks is hot): 1 - Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (Almighty Club Mix)

It’s Time To Be Proud Of The Place Where You Live!

2 - Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory (Ranny’s Club Edit) 3 - Jennifer Lopez Ft. Pitbull - On The Floor 4 - Enrique Iglesias - Dirty Dancer (Alex Sayz Mix) 5 - Beyonce - Run The World (Girls) (LEX “World Wide” Club Mix) 6 - Britney Spears - I Wanna Go (Jump Smokers Club Mix) 7 - Nicki Minaj - Super Bass (Liam Keegan Explicit Mix) 8 - Chris Brown - Yeah 3x (Funk3d Remix) 9 - Rihanna - S&M (Dave Aude Club Mix) 10 - Kylie Minogue - Put Your Hands Up (Bimbo Jones Club Mix) Hill’s Personal Faves: Lula and Dj Paulo - Master and Servant Part 1 (Ralphi Rosario Full Vocal Mix) Ralphi Rosario and Wayne G ft Stewart - Bitch (Wayne G and Andy Allder Club Mix) Selena Gomez - Who Says (Tony Moran and Warren Rigg Club Mix) Hey there!!! DJ “Miss” Hill here. I’m sayin’ the “YAY!”. It’s September. Wish me a happy birthday! Let’s blow out the candles on some sweet tunes. Just a reminder: I’m not here to tell you what’s new but to review newly released club mixes. Ricky Martin - Freak Of Nature: If Ricky Martin is a freak of nature then I have no problem gettin’ my freak on with him. Any song that says get on the floor or promotes any kind of dancing activity gets my vote! I love the tranny girl reference. Sounds like he’s getting to the roots of him coming out. And once again I get a Ralphi Rosario Mix. For those of you who are fluent in more than one language you get a Spanish version as well. Love me some Ralphi! I hope this one catches on. I wasn’t happy with The Best Thing About You Was Me. Great message but bland. But this one goes back to the I Don’t Care sound. Another hot Ralphi mix you should look up. Kylie Minogue - Put Your Hands Up: We go from “Just-came-out” artist to gay icon. This came out months ago but my record pool sucks...Trust me I’m dropping them. We all feel love and this one just pushes us further into it. “Put your hands up if you feel love tonight!” I usually feel love in the afternoons when I get up. Me and my hubby are both night people. Sorry...too much info. I’m putting my hands up for the Bimbo Jones Club Mix. I need more Kylie! Lady GaGa - You and I: When I saw this live on TV before it was released as a single there was a lot of talk on Facebook about it being country. My gay nephew said it sounded jazzy. I had to let him know. It was VERY country. But I still really love this song. And it’s even better with the Brian Cua Club Mix. You can still hear the country sound but it’s danceable. On another note...Picture Shania Twain singing this. Jennifer Lopez - Papi: If you’re a regular reader of my reviews then you will know that I’m not a fan of “J-Ho”. But she’s popular so I have to play her crap. Fortunately she has kept to the dance format and hasn’t fallen into “Hip-Hop” scene lately...kinda…Dance for your Papi? I like dancing with my man...meaning my husband? And she loves the rock on her finger. Did I mention “Ho”? Didn’t they just break up? Thank god for the Rosabel Vox Club Mix (Ralphi Rosario & DJ Abel) for making this fun. I actually love the club mix. Ralphi and his latin roots...gotta love him!!

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Ralphi Rosario and Wayne G ft Stewart - Bitch: And to close out this month is something I like to tell most of the queens that come across my path. You have to listen to these lyrics to understand it! I love how the narration explains the workings of a dance floor speaker and it just cuts into the whole bitch thing. I can’t even quote here because it’s a whole 60+ seconds of “ Dirty Whore...etc” poetry in just the first part of the mix! Like I said earlier... Love me some Ralphi...Best mix on this one is the Wayne G and Andy Allder Club Mix.

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That’s it for now. I’ll be back in October listening to some creepy tunes to get the zombies dancing. Check me out at MissHillDJ.com or find me on Facebook under Douglas Hill. If you like or hate what I review please e-mail me at hill@misshilldj.com I welcome both good and hateful replies. And let me know about any local independent music. I’m always open to new stuff.

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Your Vote Counts Continued From Page Four Lastly, and this is a big unknown hope: That all of us can turn this matter into a public policy which demonstrates compassion for all Hoosiers. Time is a great healer. I know. Strong emotional scars almost never disappear — death, personal destruction, financial ruin, family troubles — all those can drag down our souls. Over time, forgiveness can assume multiple forms and come from many places. Rep. Hinkle is close to the “normal” retirement age. He will determine whether that’s the route for his legislative career. What we need to hope is the retirement of provincial attitudes that force the Phil Hinkles of our world to hide any part of themselves. As we seem to say after too many recent public outings: It didn’t have to be this way.

STATE FAIR SORROW The 13th of August will go down as one of those “where were you” moments, but for all the wrong reasons. It’s the day the Indiana State Fair grandstand stage lost its battle with Mother Nature. As a result, five innocent concert-goers were killed and another 45 injured, some severely.

ly 8.50 p.m. underneath ominous skies the announcer tells folks that the concert might go on anyway. Here’s what we lost that night: Seven brilliant lives. Their stories which unfolded in the subsequent days were overwhelming. One of the dead was a Chicago lesbian political activist. May she rest in peace with the other tragic victims. And we lost common sense. Let’s hope it wasn’t in the name of greed as that concert was poised to make the State Fair a gross of over a half-million dollars which the fair badly needs. All budgets are tight. After the last State Fair catastrophe, on a Halloween night almost 50 years ago, dozens were killed, and rules regarding those specific causes were enacted to protect the public. At this writing it’s only one week out from the tragedy this time, but it’s already clear that rules and regulations weren’t the problem that night. What was a problem was a complete lack of common sense. Sense which cannot be legislated. An old German maxim often quoted by Ernestine Schumann-Heink, a well known opera singer of the late 1800s and early 1900s: “We grow too soon old and too late smart.” PRIDE SEASON ENDS The pride season ended just as this edition was going to press. The Lafayette celebration is always a favourite, and it was well-attended again this year. Pride celebrations attracted political attention this year, too, because it’s a municipal election year.

Mayor Greg Ballard rushed to the scene and was breathlessly answering reporters’ questions within 30 minutes of the incident. He had little information, but hey, he was there. At a state event.

In Indianapolis, Mayor Greg Ballard refused to participate in the parade — again — but allowed the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police and Fire Departments to march. At the last minute, by his order, most of the large public safety apparatuses were pulled from the parade. Apparently the announcement earlier that week, that there would be public safety presence in the parade, enraged the far-right community and they flooded city hall with complaints. The mayor reacted, then altered his “busy schedule” to attend some of the open fair afterward. But the damage was done.

His public safety crews were superb. I should say “our” public safety crews. First responders were brilliant, compassionate and helpful. They sought no public attention — they simply went about their jobs as they were trained.

In Indy, Lafayette and other communities, politicians openly mingled with our community, friends and allies, at harmonious events. Almost as if they wanted to solicit votes. What a fascinating concept.

The immediate aftermath provided some keen political insights aside from the obvious concern for loss of life and limb.

Gov. Mitch Daniels was on the scene pretty quickly — his wife, First Lady Cheri Daniels, was at the concert in her role as an unofficial spokesperson for the State Fair. The governor proclaimed the incident a freak act of nature and did so repeatedly, loudly to anyone who would listen. Hoosiers were their typical helpful selves — from the initial reports of patrons helping to lift the stage off injured folks, to the funds set up to help defray expenses of those killed and injured. Our elected officials? Not so much. Something in their DNA requires too many of them to run toward TV cameras at the precise time they should stand back. It wasn’t 9/11/2001. It was not an event where the public’s nerves had to be calmed or our collective safety doubted. In such instances our leaders are expected to help calm things down. This was a case of politicians hogging camera time. And it could backfire. Once the dust settled — literally — it was clear that the State Fair officials had skimpy plans in place for foul weather safety. Hmmmm. Nothing wrong with that picture, huh? Indiana, August, no possibility for storms, huh? The written plan the State Fair released to the press to handle such emergencies contained eight bullet points spaced out over one page although it could’ve been on a 3 by 5 card. We were told that evening, and multiple times thereafter, that the State Police and State Fair leaders were in constant contact with the National Weather Service and were about to order the grandstand cleared. That factoid disputed actual events — only two minutes prior to the collapse an announcer told the crowd the concert “would begin shortly,” and “if it needs to be delayed” concert-goers would be directed to the Coliseum or other sturdy venues. The facts: Almost 12,500 persons in attendance. Outdoors. On a stormy August night. A stage that had attachments towering 40 feet into the air. Spectators seated immediately in front of and beside the stage. Day-long NWS predictions that a strong storm would hit the north side of Indy sometime that evening (and by early evening, those predictions centered on the 9.15 timeframe.) Frighteningly accurate. Nonetheless, at approximate-

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Bag Lady Bus Tour To Kick Off With 13th Sept. Event INDIANAPOLIS—It’s almost time for the Bag Ladies to prowl downtown’s streets again and this year The Bag Ladies will host a Bus Tour Launch Party 13th September at 45 Degrees, 765 Mass Avenue, from 6 – 9 p.m. to kick it all off. Everyone is invited to come out on the 13th to mix and mingle, enjoy refreshments and drink specials. Attendees will: —Be the first to find out the theme for the 31st Annual Bag Lady Bus Tour. —Receive a discount for Bus Tour Registrations paid that evening. —Learn about the changes to the way the Bag Lady Queen will be selected. The Bag Ladies want to emphasise to everyone that the purpose of the Bus Tour is to raise money for the DEFA Fund and they therefore encourage all riders this year to raise funds prior to the event. The 26th Annual Bag Lady Bus Tour will be held Saturday, 29th October. After the Launch Party, registration information for the tour will be available on the pride website: www.indyprideinc.org or from Gary Brackett at cadillacbarbieindy@ yahoo.com Also, Brackett has launched a new regular bulletin entitled Bag Lady Beacon to provide information to the community about additional upcoming events, photos from past Bag Lady events & upcoming news.

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pecs and the by Matt Ponder So, I’ve talked about the power of beauty and what people show on the outside and the inside but the one question that always comes up when anyone is interested in anyone else is: “how old are you?” I’ve always been fascinated by this inquiry because I’ve discovered that in the long run it doesn’t really matter. If you are attracted to someone and they aren’t going to land you a prison sentence, what’s the difference? It’s similar to when people ask: “what do you do for a living?” The world is full of trash collectors, neurosurgeons, fry cooks and CEOs but it doesn’t make them who they are on the inside. It’s just a job, just like your age is just a number. Who we are is made up of our intelligence, personality and collective experience. Eighteen, 27, 34, 48 — age is what you make of it. So read on… A few years back, I met a guy. Buff and funny, we connected at the gym while discussing our deltoids and Linkin Park. We hung out, did some talking, and a little manon-man action ensued. You know how it is... After a week or so of non-date dates and some more X-rated action, he called me just to say hi and to tell me he was heading out with some guys from the team. The team? I asked. What team? I play football, he told me. Apparently this factoid had not come up during our sweaty grappling. For what team? I asked. Brebeuf, he said matter-of-factly. Brebeuf. High school. I managed to hold on to my composure long enough to ask him if he was 18. I will be in two weeks, was his response. In my defence, he didn’t act like a kid, and he sure as hell didn’t look like a kid with the amount of muscle he had packed on his frame. Yes, I know the prisons are full of people who have said those exact same words, but it’s the truth. Usually you can tell when someone is younger than you merely by the way they talk or the way they carry themselves. That is why it was such a surprise to me. This kid was brilliant and well spoken, mature beyond his — God help me — 17 years. I remember trying to convince him to find someone his own age and his exasperated response: “Guys my age are too immature.”

“that’s before my time”, that’s not an age difference, that’s ignorance. I know plenty about Hitchcock, World War II, James Dean and Greek mythology, but all of those things happened before my time. It’s merely being interested in the people and events that came before you and still being able to rack up some kills in Call Of Duty: Black Ops. Incidentally, I am awesome at Call Of Duty. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to let go of the things you loved as a child either. Sometimes, those are the things that shape your future. Legos lead to architecture. Finger-paints lead to interior design. Playing doctor leads to... OK, playing doctor isn’t the best example. These are just the adult versions of childhood favourites. Just like music is still music whether it’s on a record, a cassette, a CD, or a download. In the movies, the good guys will always win, things will still blow up, the music will swell, and we’ll blink into the light feeling happy. It’s still the same basic blueprint below the surface. Why can’t that apply to people as well? In a relationship, two people must discover the integral parts of their learned experiences and link them with their partner in order to truly connect. If you’ve grown past drama and game playing, you can see there are others like you no matter what their age. The bonds which cement two people together have nothing to do with their date of birth. Let me put it another way — how many people do you know who are involved with someone the exact same age? If you only date within a certain age group, your limited scope may cause you to miss out on the interface that comes from meeting someone different than yourself. Where is the joy in dating the same exact type over and over again? You can learn a lot from someone in a different age bracket. The older generation has the experience, wisdom and the learned history. The youth have their finger on the pulse of the present along with their blissful naïveté. Why not combine them? Maybe part of being a grown-up means knowing when to act like a kid. We have all been programmed to believe that youth is sexy. But so is maturity — at any age. Does it really matter if the guy I’m with has never heard of Jem and The Holograms? Not to me it doesn’t. Besides, if you don’t believe that people who have a significant age gap

When two people meet, one of the first things discussed is age. We feel that age can give us a basic outline for the stranger before us. In other words, if someone is 18, they are still in the thrall of youth — reckless, wild and not yet ready to commit. If someone is 40 it’s the opposite, right? Established, mature and done with prowling the streets and clubs until dawn. But you and I both know that is not always the case. Like everything else that makes us individuals, people mature differently. So the question is when does the age difference turn into a moot point? If someone who is 22 is interested in a 13-year-old, we can see that on reruns of the uncomfortably comical To Catch A Predator. But when a 33-year-old is interested in a 24-year-old, suddenly it’s not a problem. Or is it? Once people reach legal age and have moved beyond the letter of the law and the creepy Law And Order: SVU-style interaction, does age really matter in a relationship or is it merely a number? There are 20-year-olds who have children and I’m still reading comic books. Am I immature or are they just jumping the gun on adulthood? The generation gap seems to be more evident when people act their age or what society says their age should act like. Our culture dictates that you should act a certain way, dress a certain way, even talk a certain way once you leave the realm of your late teens and early twenties. Why is that? Maybe the question here needs to start further back. What does it take to be considered a grown-up? To be an adult all one has to be is fully-grown and developed. The fully-grown part I understand, but it’s the developed part that raises a few questions. Developed mentally and emotionally? Is a 12-year-old savant who’s already in college a grown-up? Is a 32-year-old heiress who can’t do her own laundry a grown-up? Are you supposed to trade in your Converse for a tie because that’s what your parents did? Should you refrain from watching cartoons and focus on the grainy depression on CNN? On the opposite side of the spectrum, being young doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of things outside of Justin Bieber and what’s happening on The Vampire Diaries. Here’s an example of something I will never understand. When I reference something from my youth, say a 45 rpm record, for example, and someone younger than me says:

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Ft. Wayne Pride Entertains & Informs Word Photos: Ivan Howard & Ted Fleischaker

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Whipping Post By Ms. K / Word Columnist Summer is almost over and we are approaching Fall. I have received numerous e-mails from folks asking advice on jobs, relationships and what should they be planning for this coming Winter in regard to leather events. I will begin with jobs. Jobs and the economy go hand-in-hand. If you have a good and decent job, keep it if you can. And if you are looking for work, do not forget to look outside our area in this part of the country. There are jobs out there. They may just not be where you are living right now, but they do exist. Next, relationships. Relationships can be tricky at best but I received the following from a reader recently: “I have just decided I want to be an owned slave and moved out of state. All the folks around me think I am crazy for making this decision. I know that I have only known this person for a few short weeks, but he seems wonderful. His reputation in the community is not so great, but I think he is wonderful. I have made the move with him but still keep thinking about what everyone around me is saying. What should I do?” My comment: This is full of problems that are destined for your relationship. To begin with, moving out of state to live with someone you have only known for a few short weeks should be very scary to you. That alone would cause all your friends and loved ones heavy concerns, but the main thing which really bothers me about your letter is that you say this person has a not-so-great reputation in his community. Why does this not make a bell go off in your head and make you ask yourself, WHY? Why does this person whom others have known for a longer period of time not think of him in a good light? Why do you think he is great while others do not? How or why can’t you ask yourself these questions and why did you not consider all of this before you acted so quickly? I cannot for certain tell you that you have made a mistake, but I can tell you that in all likelihood this will not last and you will end up unhappy and hurt. I hope you have made provisions for your escape and have not left yourself open to lose everything you have worked so hard to accomplish in life if or when things fall apart. A man from Evansville wrote: “My boyfriend has had to put in a lot of extra hours at work over the past several months due to layoffs at his place of employment. I have found that I have time on my hands and have started talking with a man online who lives in Kentucky. I really like this guy and want to meet him, just for dinner. I have told myself that it will be just dinner and I won’t let anything physical happen. I do really like him and he gives me a lot of attention that I longer get from my boyfriend. Should I meet him? It’s only just for dinner.” Man from Evansville, you and I both know that this may turn out to be a lot more than “just dinner”. It sounds to me as if you like him more than just as a friend to have dinner with. Your boyfriend is working a lot of hours and that’s obviously beyond his control. Like so many people who still have jobs, they have to work more hours to make up for the layoffs which have happened at their companies. I cannot believe that you think this will be innocent.

King’s Island Pride Night Set 9th September CINCINNATI—Get set! Pride Night is 9th September and on-line ticket sales are available through the King’s Island store at www.cincyglbt.com This year Pride Night at Kings Island returns for the 15th time and it’s a great night to meet family and friends, and support the Greater Cincinnati Gay and Lesbian Community Centre. Pride Night proceeds help to cover the yearly operating expenses of the Community Centre. This event is a unique night of fun, rides and entertainment. As an added bonus – advance ticket prices are $12.99 less than general admission ($52.99) and include free parking (regularly $12), so don’t miss the chance to be part of Pride Night 2011 where family and friends meet! That’s a savings of $24.99 per ticket! Ticket Prices if purchased before the event (on-line/or at Centre): Individual Tickets: $40 Group sales of seven or more: $36 Ticket Price at the gate is $45. The parking area at Kings Island is available to guests beginning at 5 p.m. with admission gates opening at 6 p.m. on 9th September. The event concludes at midnight. Children’s rides will be closed at the event, and regular season passes or other discount coupons will not be honoured the day of the event. Entertainment scheduled includes Steve Reeder, (the) Fundamentalists, Queen City Rainbow Band’s Jazz Ensemble, Rock Cub and QNation.FM. Following Pride Night, there will be an After Glow Party which starts at 11 p.m. ending at 2 a.m. at Kings Island Resort and Conference Centre (across the street). There’s a $5 cover (admission only) and the event features the DJs from QNation.FM. Kings Island Resort is located at 5691 Kings Island Drive. For discounted hotel accommodations contact Kings Island Resort on 513/445.5009. Note: if you register for a room, the $5 entrance fee is waived for the After Glow party.

I would find a way to rekindle your relationship with your current boyfriend — that is unless you want to end that relationship and try a more serious one with your new friend. Remember, tempting danger might just land you in hot water. So, on to events to look forward to this coming Fall and Winter in our leather community... There is a Master / slave conference in Washington, D.C. over Labour Day weekend. Then later in September in Chicago, the weekend of the 23rd thru 25th there will be the Illinois LeatherSIR / Leatherboy / Ms. Leather Pride / Master / slave and Bootblack contest. For a fun-filled weekend in Chicago in September, check out Touche’ bar. Further afield check out Leatherman’s Academy in Fort Lauderdale the weekend of 29th September thru 1st October. And over in St Louis, that same weekend is the Mr. Midwest Leather contest set for the Bad Dog bar. So, there you have it. Several events happening both near and far to whet your appetite. Please email me at MsKLeather@sbcglobal.net with your questions and comments. Thank you to everyone for all your e-mails of encouragement and your e-mails with questions. Together we make a strong community and we will thrive!

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Ask The Pharmacist Johnny Miller / Walgreen's, Indianapolis With Fall soon upon us, it is now time to begin thinking about the flu. Every year there are an amazing average of 49,000 deaths caused by the flu. You know when you have a scratchy throat, body aches, a cough, runny nose, headaches, tiredness and a fever you probably have the flu. What exactly is the flu, how does it spread, how do you prevent it, and how do you treat the symptoms? The flu is caused by the influenza virus. There are three different types of influenza viruses. These include influenza A, B, and C. Influenza A and B viruses cause an epidemic every Winter in the United States. Influenza A has multiple strains including influenza A-H1N1 which caused the pandemic “swine flu” in 2009. Influenza C viruses only cause mild illness and don’t generally cause epidemics. The flu virus is usually spread by droplets that are released when a

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person coughs, sneezes or talks. These droplets are then either inhaled or they land on the soon-to-be infected person who proceeds to touch their mouth, nose or eyes. Most adults pass on the virus starting one day before having symptoms and up to seven days after getting sick. This means you can pass the virus before you even know you are sick. If you are sick, it is best to sneeze or cough into a handkerchief, Kleenex or, failing those, the sleeve of your shirt in order to prevent releasing virus droplets on your hands or other people. There are two ways to stop the spread of the flu virus. The first is to wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds — the time it takes to sing Happy Birthday if you don’t happen to have a watch handy! If no soap or water is available, instant hand sanitizer will also work. This usually prevents the spread of the virus. The second way to stop the spread is by getting a flu shot. You should get the flu jab yearly as it protects against the most common strains expected for that year’s particular flu season and because the protection only lasts for a single year. There are high risk groups of people who could have serious and even deadly illness due to the flu so they should always get vaccinated. Some high risk populations include those with liver and kidney disorders, folks over 65 years of age, the morbidly obese, HIV+ individuals or PWAs and those with asthma, heart disease or diabetes. Walgreens, like many local pharmacies, now offer the flu vaccine without an appointment and are able to bill your insurance. Getting vaccinated has never been easier or more accessible. The U.S. Centres for Disease Control, better known as the CDC, have recommended that flu vaccinations begin now — in early September. But what if you get sick, anyway? Say you forgot to get a flu shot, you haven’t been washing your hands and you have the flu. Now what? First of all it is best to stay home from work or school and avoid contact with other people. You should stay home until you are fever-free for 24 hours. Next, you should prevent dehydration by drinking plenty of fluids such as water, broth based soups or sports drinks. Notice we did not say beer, liquor or anything with heavy caffeine. For the fever you can use a cool towel on the forehead. There are also over the counter medications which can relieve the fever and body aches. Look for products with the active ingredients acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Make sure to follow the directions on the bottle exactly. For cough, there are various cough syrups and tablets available over the counter. Depending on your type of cough and other health conditions, different products may or may not be appropriate. Ask your pharmacist to help you pick the right one. For nose and chest congestion there are also various decongestants available over the counter. Again, depending on where the congestion is and your other health conditions, various products may or may not be appropriate. Emergencies can and do happen with the flu every year. Contact a healthcare provider immediately if you have any of the following symptoms: difficulty breathing, chest pain, sudden dizziness, confusion, persistent vomiting or symptoms that resolve but then return with fever and worse cough. The health care provider may prescribe antiviral medication in these situations and it is important to follow their instructions on how to take these medications. Enjoy this fall. Make sure you and your loved ones don’t suffer from the flu. It is completely your choice to prevent it.

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You Auto Try This... By Casey Williams/ Automotive Reporter Driving the Camaro convertible stirs all of the emotions I had as a teenager. There was nothing more liberating than cruising around late, hanging at the mall or slamming country backroads in a new Chevy sports car. While I drove a geeky Geo, my friends had a Z28, Corvette and Z24. It was our first taste of freedom and it smelled like a convertible Summer. The Camaro convertible takes me back. Like the Camaro coupe, the convertible presents the past the way you would like to remember it. Created under the leadership of Ed Welburn, GM V.P. of Design and owner of a 1969 Camaro, the shape is familiar, but not retro. A wide eggcrate grille, ending in round projector headlamps with spooky halos, echoes the ’69, as do the wide rear haunches, long hood, and rear fender “vents”. Quad tail lamps tie it to its thoroughbred sibling, the Corvette. Look closely and you’ll see an incredible amount of detail in sheetmetal creases. Only Bentley creates a convertible that looks as good with the top up! A high beltline, low roof, and 20” wheels give the car a sense of tension and speed even before slipping behind the wheel. The view through the windshield feels retro with a wide expanse of paint that puts the hood bulge and upturned fender edges plainly in view, but the heads-up display hovering over them is clearly this century. Big analogue gauges in square housings recall yesteryear, but the Heads Up Display can be configured to project speed, tachometer, outside temperature and radio station info. at eye level. Designers nodded to the past with the deep-dish three-spoke steering wheel, made to tilt and telescope, but get it while you can because Chevrolet is installing the standard wheel from its other cars next year. Phones can be connected through Bluetooth for one button calling via steering wheel controls. We don’t really want tape players anymore, so the new Camaro comes standard with a USB port for iPods and an in-dash CD player. Boston Acoustics speakers will bump and thump cars three blocks over while delivering high definition. Sitting on cold leather is no fun in Winter - press a button and the leather seats heat your buns. Cupholders? Have two of them in the front console. One area where the old Camaro hatchbacks are missed is trunk space. In convertible trim, you’ll have to pack lightly — especially if you plan to unlatch the top and press a button for it to settle into some of that space. All of those fast IROC and Z28 Camaros we loved weren’t as powerful as we remember. The 5.7-litre V8 in the IROC generated 230hp. The base Camaro’s 3.6-litre direct-injected V6 — essentially the same engine as in the Cadillac CTS — produces 312hp. The optional 6.2-litre V8 in the Z28 expunges 426hp and the upcoming supercharged ZL-1 tears pavement with over 550hp. They sure don’t build them like they did in the good old days, and thank Chevrolet for that! You can never have too much power (although, the ZL-1 might be close), but I’d take the V6 and six-speed automatic transmission to get fuel economy ratings of 18/29MPG city/hwy. Maybe I would enjoy the six-speed manual more, but the automatic is great for city driving and can be paddle-shifted when feeling one’s spunk. Only problem is the V6 sounds like a V6, although a very refined V6. Nothing replaces the ethereal roar of a big, hearty, American V8. On hilly two-lane backroads, the V6 had no problem dispensing with Corollas and Accords in short order. Beyond the dis-memories of power, do you remember how the cars with solid rear axles performed? All that jiggling and hopping over rough pavement? Forget it because new Camaros ride on a four-wheel independent suspension system derived from the Pontiac G8. Compared to a big name competitor that lacks an independent rear suspension (it’s 2011, really?), the Camaro’s behaviour is decades ahead in refinement. Mid-corner bumps seem to disappear unnoticed. Steering and chassis movements are firm, yet not harsh. Combined with the safety net of electronic stability control, traction control and meaty four-wheel disc brakes, the latest Camaro convertible has moves its predecessors could scarcely manage off of a track, and probably not even on one. I don’t really think life was simpler in the old days. While powerful and handsome, the ‘60s Camaros worked best in a straight line. The Camaros of my youth were some of the sleekest and fastest cars rolling, but were not even close to the exquisite style and all-world performance of the current generation. Slash off the top, paint it red and I’m ready to cruise through Summer. Driving a new Camaro convertible home each night could really put me in a different place in time and a better state of mind.

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Finances In Focus By Michael Wright / Edward D Jones A couple different topics this month, both equally important in these times... Firstly, when you invest in stocks, you want their price to go up. But of course, you can’t control the rise and fall of stock prices. However, there is a key element of investing that you can control — the number of shares you own. And in the long run, share ownership may be more important than rising stock prices in determining your longterm investment success. Of course, you might think that the advice of “buy more shares” is easier said than done. After all, especially in today’s economic turmoil, not everyone can easily find a lot of extra money to invest. But you don’t need access to vast wealth to increase your share ownership — you just need to consistently reinvest your stock dividends.

—Build a productive portfolio. Generally speaking, the most industrious workers are also the most productive ones. And just as productivity is an asset in the working world, it’s important in the investment world, too. Strive to own a mix of investments in a balanced portfolio, based on your risk tolerance, time horizon and long-term goals. —Develop your investment skills. To truly be a good worker, you need a set of skills, such as initiative, the ability to make decisions and the willingness to work on a team. However, throughout the course of your career, you may also need to add new technical proficiencies so that you can stay on top of developments in your field and maintain your productivity. As an investor, you also need some “core competencies,” such as patience, discipline and the ability to prioritize goals. But you also need to stay current on financial products, the economy, the markets and changes in tax- and investmentrelated laws. To help expand your knowledge base and receive timely guidance, you may want to work with a financial professional. Labour Day comes just once a year. But by keeping your investments working hard 365 days a year, you can keep making progress toward the lifestyle you’ve envisioned.

Just how important are reinvested dividends to wealth accumulation, as compared to capital gains (the increase in stock prices)? Over the 135-year period from 1871 through 2003, owning stocks and reinvesting the dividends produced 97% of all stock market returns, with only 3% coming from capital gains, according to a major study done by Dr. Jeremy Siegel, one of the world’s leading researchers on stock market performance. Other studies have also pointed to the importance of dividends as a component of total returns. What are the implications of this disparity between the effectiveness of dividend reinvestment versus that of capital gains? First of all, it suggests that you may not want to spend an undue amount of time and effort in chasing after “hot” stocks, hoping for big capital gains. For one thing, by the time you buy these stocks, they may already be cooling off, but even more importantly, your focus on achieving large capital gains may not be the best use of your financial resources. Ultimately, the power of dividend reinvestment means, not surprisingly, that you may be able to help yourself if you look for quality dividend-paying stocks — and then reinvest the dividends, month after month and year after year. With just a little research, you can find stocks that have paid — and even increased — dividends for many years in a row. (Keep in mind, though, that not all stocks will pay dividends, and even those that do can reduce or discontinue them at any time. Dividend reinvestment does not ensure a profit or protect against loss.) So, to help boost your share ownership, consider reinvesting the dividends back into the stock, rather than taking them as cash payments. If you do choose to reinvest your dividends, though, you will need to look to other types of investments to provide you with income, assuming you need some income from your portfolio, which may become more necessary during your retirement years. Your financial advisor can help you determine the appropriate investments to help provide this income. But in any case, if you can do without the current income provided by dividends, give careful consideration to reinvesting them. Dividend reinvestment is not a glamorous investment strategy, and it won’t help you “get rich quick,” but it can help you make steady progress toward your long-term financial goals — and that’s a key dividend in itself. Meanwhile, on 5 September we observe Labour Day, which is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. Of course, if you’re like most people, work is essential to your life, both as a means of personal fulfillment and as a necessity for achieving your financial goals, such as a comfortable retirement. But if you’re going to attain those goals, you’ll want your investments to work as hard as you do. For that to happen, you’ll need to take these steps: —Know your investment objectives. Whether you work in an office, a manufacturing plant or any other venue, your goal is to produce a clearly identifiable result. And the same should be true for the way that you invest. In other words, you should know exactly why you own every single one of your investments — because only then will you have a clear, unified strategy for achieving your desired outcomes. —Keep investing. As a diligent worker, you show up to work every day because you know that this type of consistency is necessary for success. A similar principle applies to your investing “career.” By investing steadily, year in and year out, you have a much better chance of reaching your objectives than if you were to take periodic breaks. Of course, when the financial markets are volatile as they are now, it can be tempting to take a “time out,” but this stop-and-start approach can lead to missed opportunities. For example, if you jump out of the market when it’s down, you might miss out on the early stages of the next rally.

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Pink In The Sheets By Mz. Pink / Word Columnist Dear Mz. Pink, I have done something terrible to my friend. I have fallen in love with her girlfriend and she has returned the feelings. I don’t know how it happened, but as the three of us hung out there was just something there and before I knew it we were sneaking text messages, meetings and all-night conversations. It turned into more than I ever expected. I love my best friend and I never wanted to hurt her, and I don’t want to keep doing this behind her back. How do I tell her? I don’t want to break it off with my new love, but I don’t want to hurt my friend. I have known her the better part of my life and I know this is wrong, but I am blinded by love. Help! Lost in Love Dear Lost, Wow, you are lost! I am not sure how to even respond to your request for help. There is an unspoken rule for all BFF’s and that is you don’t hurt your best friend no matter what! Especially if you love your friend and have known her for so long, then this should have never happened. This situation is wrong on so many levels and there is no way I can be happy for your new love when it came at an innocent bystander’s expense. Since you know how I feel about this lying and cheating toward your best friend the only real advice I can give to you is to tell your friend as soon as possible. Let your friend know that it was unintentional and that you didn’t mean to hurt her. Tell her things started out as a friendship based around her and it became more. Actually, telling her what you told me about the texting and the conversations that led to this new-found love should be sufficient. But be prepared to get reamed! Your friend will feel betrayed and she will be hurt and may say things and/or do things with the intent to hurt you back. She may never speak to you again. If this happens you should not get mad back. You must take it and move on. You made your bed now you need to lie in it. Know that what you did to her is wrong and that a long-term friendship will be over. The way that I see it, there is no way that you can shine any positive light on this situation, especially to your best friend. She will not find any positive-ness or happiness in what the two of you are doing with one another and to her. She will not be happy for the love you two found in one another, either. I don’t know what their relationship was like beforehand, but I do know that your friend must have been in to her lady before this began. And I also know that she didn’t expect her best friend to pull a “robbery.” Another scenario which could take place would be that your new love interest could shun you afterward and pick your best friend at the very last minute. She may be in to you now, but after the secret is out the excitement may be over and she could be over you as well. The love you thought you had with her could be finished and you would then be out a best friend and a lover both. This could be a lose-lose situation so just be warned and prepared for the worst. Of course it could be a situation where the girl picks you and the two of you have a long and happy relationship. Just keep an open mind — anything could happen.

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Standard Reviewer By Bill Elliott / Word Critic Originally broadcast on BBC television as a six-part series in the UK, Michael Winterbottom’s The Trip doesn’t sound particularly exciting on paper. So it must have been a difficult sell for its director and his agents. Whittled down from six hours to just under two for a theatrical release, Winterbottom probably had an even more difficult time convincing a U.S. distributor to pick it up. However, both he and the film’s star, Steve Coogan, have developed quite a cult following in the U.S. for the films they have done together and apart. In a nutshell, this is what happens (or doesn’t happen, as the case may be) in The Trip: two of Britain’s best-known television comedians visit various restaurants in small towns and villages across the north of England, sit down over dinner, and talk. At length. About nothing in particular. Part road movie, part travelogue, part literary discourse, and part gourmet guide, The Trip is probably like nothing you are going to see at the movie theatre this summer (that is, if you are able to see it at all — it has been given a very limited release). Its closest relative is perhaps Louis Malle’s My Dinner with Andre (1981), which similarly pitted the wits of two characters over an evening meal in a restaurant. British comic actors Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon play themselves (or characters very much like themselves) in the film. Coogan has been assigned to write an article on famous restaurants of the north of England for a Sunday newspaper supplement. His girlfriend (whose idea this seems to have been in the first place) has backed out of the project leaving Coogan to call up his old friend Brydon. The two have worked together on television and in film (most notably in Winterbottom’s Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, loosely based on Laurence Sterne’s 18th century novel, The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman). Coogan, who has starred in a number of U.S. films, has been a familiar face on British television for many years, as has Brydon, who has yet to receive the same level exposure in Hollywood. The film is essentially an essay in contrasted personalities. At the beginning, Coogan and Brydon seem equally matched, intellectually and emotionally. Both have a flair for witty repartee, improvisational comedy, and celebrity impersonation. But as the trip goes on, the audience becomes aware of subtle differences between the two. Brydon is cheerier, more upbeat and optimistic. He has a wife and child that he appears to dote on. And though he has been typecast as the stereotypical “Welshman” in a number of British television sit-coms, he seems content with his lot in life. Coogan, on the other hand, emerges as a much darker soul. He eschews mainstream Hollywood features and broad television comedy series, much to the dismay of both his British and U.S. agents. He yearns to be taken seriously as an actor. He also seems unable to enjoy a stable emotional life. His current girlfriend (who should have accompanied him on the trip instead of Brydon) has gone off to Las Vegas to write a piece about prostitutes. He and his son seem to have a difficult and uncomfortable relationship. He beds the female hotel employees he meets while traveling from town to town, but casual sex seems to be empty, meaningless and devoid of pleasure. The film focuses largely on the conversations that the pair have over dinner at several restaurants. (They also talk constantly while they drive between restaurants). The conversations range in content and tone from the highbrow (discussions of Wordsworth and Coleridge’s poems) to the mundane (which of the two can do the best Michael Caine, Sean Connery or Woody Allen impersonation) to the outrageous and sublime appraisals of Michelin Guide-rated restaurants’ food: “This has the consistency of snot.” The Trip is gorgeous to look at. Winterbottom and Coogan are both from Northern England (Winterbottom hails from the same town as this reviewer — Blackburn, Lancashire — which makes a very brief appearance in the film.). They obviously feel a deep connection to the north. The location shots of the Trough of Bowland, the Yorkshire Dales and the Lake District are spectacular. The hotels / restaurants themselves are intriguing. Anyone who has watched Gordon Ramsey’s many kitchen dramas or Raymond Blanc’s chef extravaganzas will be familiar with this territory. Strangesounding and appearing food combinations are ladled, scooped and delicately arranged on oversized plates before our eyes and those of our often bewildered twosome.

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They give it the good old college try, ingesting each delectable course with gusto, only occasionally pausing to reflect on what it is they are eating: “I don’t think I would like to be cooked in my own juices. Would you?” If there is a slight distance and irony about the food, there is little about the conversation. Brydon and Coogan bicker, laugh, sing and rail about all and sundry. The conversations fizz and zing, giving the impression of being concocted on the spot (which in all likelihood they were). Coogan comes across as the more brittle of the two, Brydon appearing more easy-going and conciliatory. In one telling scene, the pair arrives at Wordsworth’s cottage / museum just as it is closing. Coogan appeals to the elderly lady at the ticket counter with whinging selfrighteousness. She isn’t moved. When she sees Brydon, she fawns over him. Her grandson is a big fan. He signs his autograph for her, smiles, and makes small talk. They get in. Coogan (or rather, the fictionalized version of him we see in The Trip) is a fragile character. His brief flirtation with Hollywood has left him vain, self-conscious, and self-centred. He preens, checks himself in the mirror, feels aggrieved he can’t duplicate Brydon’s “little man trapped in a box” voice. He needs the approval of casual acquaintances and beautiful women while desperately seeking a more meaningful relationship with his estranged girlfriend. When he takes Brydon to meet his aging parents, it is Brydon who is more at ease with them, joking and slipping easily into Michael Caine and Hugh Grant shticks. Coogan just sits back looking awkward and uncomfortable. He reminds one of Peter Sellers, a comic genius, who apparently had no personality off camera. Coogan needs the camera and constant attention to feel real, to feel alive. On the surface, The Trip is a comedy. Actually, it is about as funny a film as you can imagine. But just below the surface, it is poignant, and occasionally very, very sad. When Brydon and Coogan return to London we see the vastly different lifestyles that the two lead. Brydon is surrounded by his wife and child in a warm and cosy London terraced house of character. Coogan stands alone in a dark and sterile modern flat. For a while, on the road, the two seem simpatico. But by film’s end we see that Brydon and Coogan are worlds apart. The Trip is what most movies should be, but aren’t — a journey in which you not only discover something about the characters on the screen, but a little bit more about yourself.


Outside The Box By Dr. Fred Schloemer, LCSW / Louisville Dear Dr. Schloemer: I was recently visiting my MD, who is aware that I’m gay and during the exam (my annual physical) he paid what I felt was “extra” attention to my junk, even making a comment about what I would be like erect. I have heard from several friends who used to use this particular doctor that they left his practice due to similar happenings as they felt he was acting unethically. Could this be my imagination? And if it’s not, should I leave him or report him? I receive what I feel is wonderful medical care, but I do have a partner of some years, and have no interest sexually in this physician. What should I do? My Response: I’ve said these words before here but this reader’s letter compels me to say them again -- the thing I love most about writing this feature is that every time I begin to think that “I’ve heard it all,” somebody sends me something completely new and surprising, as this reader has done. Over the years, I’ve had questions like this from several female clients, but I have to admit that this is the first time I’ve ever heard it from a male. Not that my response would be any different for a male than a female, but I do find it curious that more males don’t encounter the problem. Or perhaps they do and just don’t report it as often as women do. Whatever the case may be, anytime anyone — whether male or female — feels that they’ve been violated in any way by a doctor or other professional it’s clearly a huge ethical breach on the part of the professional and that professional needs to be both fired and reported. It’s always a sobering experience for me to attend the continuing education ethics courses I’m required to take in order to renew my license and to hear there that the most common malpractice lawsuits that occur result from practitioners either having sex with or misbehaving sexually in some other way with their clients. Except for these trainings when I’m reminded how often this kind of professional misconduct occurs, it appears that I’ve either been very optimistic or very naïve in assuming that most practitioners respect their clients far too much to ever betray their trust in that way.

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To the best of my knowledge, no mental health providers in the Kentuckiana area where I practice have been charged with such offenses in decades. But based on what I hear at my ethics trainings, some of my peers are obviously committing them somewhere. So perhaps it is indeed naïve for any of us to assume that such occurrences are rare. As a result, my emphatic advice to this reader is this: You have every right to feel that something very inappropriate has happened and to take action both to fire your doctor and report him to the relevant authorities. If you’re unsure which board to make your report to, contact the information operator at your state capitol switchboard and they will direct you to the right office. The reader asks a very important question, too, when he writes, “Could this be my imagination?” His question speaks to the sense of confusion and “cognitive dissonance” that typically occurs when a person is abused and betrayed by someone they’ve trusted. Cognitive dissonance is the feeling that “something’s not right here even if I’m not quite sure what it is.” Abused children often struggle with the feeling that they’re wrong to consider the harm that’s being done to them as “abuse.” Sadly, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve listened to a child in my office defend an abusive parent by making excuses like “My dad loves me, he would never hurt me,” or “I deserved what my mom did to me because I was bad – she was trying to make me act better.” Yet even we adults can revert to a somewhat childlike, fragile emotional state when we feel that we’ve been abused by someone we trusted. We may question our own memories of events, trying to talk ourselves out of our feelings, which is exactly what the reader is doing when he asks if perhaps he’s just imagined it all. But he answers his own question when he reports that several friends have already “fired” this doctor for the same reasons. So in the end, my guess is that he already knew that he was correct in his perceptions and that he already knew what he needed to do … go after this guy and get him out of circulation before he harms somebody else even worse! Fred Schloemer, Ed.D., LCSW, is a Louisville psychotherapist specialising in gay issues. Write him at fredschloemer@aol.com

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Jill’s Swill Jill A. Ditmire / Mass Ave Wine Shoppe Jill concludes last month’s tales as she finishes sharing her early Summer adventures in the Languedoc region of France. You can try out some of her favourite wine finds at Mass Ave Wine Shoppe & Cafe and a few other local wine retailers as well, where they are available for sale. Saturday 21 May It’s Saturday afternoon and I am sitting in the ultra modern Brussels Airport. My computer locked up on Thursday so have not been able to e-mail nitely as earlier in the week. But believe it or not life does go on without a computer, e-mail, cell phone or... Facebook! Quelle Horreurs! Here’s what you’ve missed. Thursday May 19 This morning strolled the canal to the south. It still amazes me to walk by and see houseboats on it. As the sidewalk ends a dirt path begins. Wildflowers, bushes and a line of sycamore trees make for a relaxing and meditative start to the morning. Our first stop today is at the CIVL offices in Narbonne located in a 16th century building that used to be a chapel. We tasted organic wines from Gilles Louvet, the largest organic distributor in Europe. Or that’s what they say. My favourite: Esprit du Sud AOP, Blanquette de Limoux — A sparkling wine with tiny bubbles and creamy notes of almonds and walnuts. The marketing rep says the monks in the Limoux region were the first to make sparkling wine. By accident of course. A double fermentation occurred in bottles of Mauzac, the white grape of the region with lots of tropical fruit notes. We asked about Dom Perignon and his “I’ve tasted the stars” acclamation and creation of sparkling wine in Champagne. The marketing director says Dom was visiting the Limoux monks and got the idea from them. Hmm. Another great story. We will check it out more when we travel to Limoux tomorrow. Time to hit the road for another scenic drive. This time to the winery / resort / restaurant / hotel of Chateau L’Hospitalitas owned by Gerard Bertrand. The lanky Frenchman was a famous rugby star in his 20’s. Now at age 46 he heads six wine estates that sell internationally. Bertrand is still a very handsome man, but honestly we all guessed him at 56 rather than 46. Must be more stress in the wine biz than in rugby. We tasted thru 14 of the GB wines, all outstanding and most available in the U.S. My favourites: —2009 Gerard Bertrand Minervois (blend of syrah and carignane done with carbonic maceration to soften the tannins and express the black fruit. —1951 Banyals Gerard Bertrand “Legend” Vintage Port- rich notes of licorice in this special wine. We enjoyed it later at lunch with some cheese. GBs marketing gal Aurelie was top notch. She moved us thru the wines with ease and education and didn’t make a big deal when one of the bottles was corked. This is not an easy feat. Even for those of us used to tasting multiple wines at a time, seeing 14 bottles lined up waiting can be daunting. Once tasted we went to lunch in the incredible outdoor patio area of the estate. This is a top notch resort with all of the creature comforts of 21st century but the design and layout is charming French countryside. The sun was hot so we sat under chic umbrella tables and dined on salad fresh from the garden with baby greens, asparagus, artichoke hearts, carrots and tomatoes. Was perfect. Incredible fresh bread and olive oil made this a light delicious repast. Oh, and yes we had wine too. 2008 Gerard Bertrand Aigle Royal — a fresh crisp chardonnay bursting with notes of d’anjou pear and golden delicious apple. We were waiting on the cheese course to have with that bottle of 1951 Banyuls port, when Bertrand sat down with us to talk. His first topic were the then-recent attempted rape charges in New York against former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Bertrand said he felt as if Strauss-Kahn was being treated unfairly by the U.S. press and that the man was probably just stressed out and didn’t allegedly rape the young women in New York he was being accused of attacking. Wow. The French attitude towards sex is really different than the U.S. We just sat and listened. And then complemented him on his wines, steering clear of U.S. press, alleged rape cases, etc. I had a Coke Zero instead of coffee to finish my

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meal and it was “parfait”. The European Coke Zero is not as sweet as the stuff made in the U.S. and has a subtle lemon taste to it. Before we left the estate / resort we were able to view a private collection of Rodin sculpture on loan by the owner to the estate. The drawings and sculpted pieces of entwined bodies — both male and female, mother and child, same sex — all conjured up sexual, physical, spiritual art appreciation. And it seemed so ironic to see this exhibit after just having the sex scandal / alleged rape discussion with Mr. Bertrand a few moments earlier. On to Minervois to visit another classic southwestern French village. Trees, hills, skinny streets, old buildings and set along the Midi Canal. Centuries ago an ambitious Frenchman decided to make a passage way for boats between the Mediterranean and Atlantic. He never saw it completed but today it is a pathway for mainly pleasure boats who glide by this tiny town. We pulled up to another 14th century estate and were warmly greeted by a beautiful Asian girl who turned out to be Canadian. She is the intern at the estate. Lucky girl. Her friend is the sister of the good-looking 30-something winemaker. We were plotting like Jewish mothers hoping these two would have a romance during her stay in France. And for good reason as the winemaker, a former electrical engineer was charming as he gave us a tour of the home / estate and a tasting of his wines. His mother owns the estate and is a former physician who now does all of the bookkeeping for the business. Six years ago she bought the estate and her son became winemaker. Legend has it that Henry XVIII once stayed in the home while visiting the original owners. We saw the bedroom and the bed was short. The Midi canal runs along the back yard of the estate which features terraces of plants, bushes and flowers down to the water. Once again, the views were just amazing. And his wines were equally charming. My favourite was the 2008 Chateau de Paraza (Grenache, syrah, mouvedre) with chewy tannins, nice notes of black cherry and cola with a creamy finish. After the tasting we took a stroll along the canal. Wild fennel, rosemary, thyme and asparagus grew along a waterway which was lined with sycamore trees. Beautiful. Back to Narbonne for dinner at the elegant yet modern restaurant, Le Petit Comptoir, which also had a small attached wine shoppe. Kind of made me feel like home, but the food here was far more industrious than ours at Mass Ave Wine Shoppe. We were all feeling very tired and a bit goofy at this point. We tasted through seven wines from Castelmaure, another co-op/negociant. The owner was very friendly, very happy to have us there and it all made for a wonderful evening of wine, conversation and food. We started with a palate cleanser of chilled cantalope gazpacho with a tortilla chip topped with a goat cheese spread. Luc — green briny olives — were on table, too. Perfect way to cleanse our palates of the big bold red wines from Castlemaure we had just tasted and would enjoy again with the meal. My first course was grilled langostinos layered on grilled green apples. A side of shredded celeriac and an anchovy sauce created a salty / sweet / experience in my mouth. Delicious. With it I enjoyed the 2010 Castelmaure Vin Gris which is a lovely dry rose with notes of watermelon and strawberries. The main course was le Loup Roti which is a local fish grilled and then served atop vegetables in a broth. Light and satisfying. My wine of choice with the fish was the “La Buvette” vin de France. A Non Vintage grenache that had nice fruity soft tannins with notes of raspberry. Dessert was over-the-top: A chewy dark chocolate brownie with chocolate ganache and a dollop of nougat ice cream. Wow. It was our “last nite” so after dinner we decided to hit the town. We wandered around till we found an indoor / outdoor bar where all of the hip 20’somethings seemed to be hanging. We four are all over 40 but did our best to drink like the youngsters. I had a glass of white wine with ice in it!


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Hackin’ The Net By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher Before we get to this month’s topic, a follow up to a column a couple months ago about metering coming to the net and your useage of it based not on some unlimited plan but by what you use. The news, sadly, is not good, as when we last reported at&t was putting data usage caps on home dsl users (though not many of us will be affected as they are — for now — relatively high caps). Well now it appears caps have come to smartphones, too. Verizon have announced the end of their unlimited iPhone data plans after only a few months with the iPhone and at&t has said while they will keep those of us old users on unlimited for $30 a month if we were grandfathered in, after a set amount of data they will slow us down on 3G, known as “throttling”. In other words, it will be a roving cap, because each month we go over their so far not revealed “cap” they will still allow us unlimited data just at a way slower speed than the initial amount which will be frustrating and in our way of thinking run counter to their promise of no changes for we early adopters. In other words, the more we eat, the slower we get to eat it which will really put a crimp on movies we might stream or radio or TV we watch on our phone or 3G iPad. Once again, amounts we have heard for such slow-down caps to kick in vary widely and we have not seen a firm announcement yet (and at&t’s spokesmen have declined to give one to any of the tech sites we visit) but we are told like the dsl scene, only the top 5% of those subscribing will be affected. It’s not necessarily all bad news, but any caps are, in our way of thinking, not good news either. It’s sorta like you buy the fastest and best car and then only get to drive it on gravel roads. OK, so now on to this month’s bytes... It’s been awhile since we talked here about what we feel is the best bargain online —internet radio. The reason it’s such a good deal is it’s free. No, we don’t mean Sirius/XM which costs with a subscription. We mean real radio like we all listened to with — what else? — a radio for years and years. All you need is the tech savy to find the stations, and that’s been made infinitely easier in recent months by a merger and name change for what was Radio Time and now is www.tunein.com All one needs to do is sign up for a free account at www.tunein.com and then start adding stations. If you want it to, it will pick your locals, but we urge you NOT to allow permission for that because it will keep returning to stations you can hear on a radio and in our way of thinking that blocks up the space you need for those stations you really, really want from outside the area. Since we signed up for our account some months ago, we have added a long list of old favourite stations like classicals WQXR New York and WFMT Chicago as well as most every beautful music/easy listening station still alive, including one in the Dominican Republic and one in New Zealand. Adding a station or show is a simple matter: Just enter the call letters or name and search then click add when it pops up or if you want to browse, just click at the top and look by location or format. If you want the best dance stations, there’s a list of all which stream, so just sample away and add the ones you like to your faves. You can do the same for any format — and TuneIn has most any one can imagine — from classical to hip hop and trance to public and back. The best part (You mean it gets better? Yes!) is if you have a smartphone or iPad you can get the TuneIn app (regular’s free, pro is 99¢ which we recommend) and log in. It will then access your account and all of those saved stations will be there on your pad or phone with no additional searching. Add one on computer and it’s there on the iPad and vice versa. Uber convenient! The app also lets you see what speed stations stream and that’s important if, like us, you want to drive with your favourite station from the UK or Florida playing. Of course your car will need an input for the phone or iPad, but if you got that, download TuneIn and you’re set to drive mile after mile to your favourites. No more changing stations

when one gets to the end of coverage. No more being stranded in Middle Georgia on a Sunday morning with 11 church services, two country stations and one reading the obits to choose from. Now radio is indeed yours to tune and yours to listen to from anywhere. Just, as a word of caution — be aware that there will be some gaps when cell coverage drops, and you will end up paying if you go over your phone’s plan limits as this is not WiFi you are using on the go. The good thing with TuneIn is that you can set it to rebuffer if the signal does drop meaning you can keep both hands on the wheel and the station will come back when the signal does. And there are some numbers on the mobile list which tell you the number of kilobytes you will need to receive something well. If you pick 164 (a high stream rate) and are in southeast Indiana where all at&t offers is Edge, not 3G, then chances are you won’t be enjoying much radio. Drop to a 32 k stream which needs much less bandwidth and I’m here to say your station will do much better. If there is any down-side to TuneIn it’s that some stations just do not work all that reliably and they seem reluctant to remove them. Even ones which say “stream reliable for 56% of users” (and that info is given on the computer version) will still appear, so read what they tell you, do not expect miracles and don’t shoot the messenger. Also remember things do break. TuneIn gives a spot where you can report a broken link or update their info and since it’s free (Did we say that twice now?) we’d recommend you send in a report to help keep things up-dated for all of us to use. One final word: TuneIn.com is not the ONLY radio listening software out there. iTunes has their own station lists and most stations have their links from the websites, too, but I find that TuneIn has the best, most complete list as well as one of the only ones which allow you to enter the URL of your station (if it’s missing) and then add it, so it will appear on your phone or pad later. In short, it’s consumer-friendly, crosses the various listening platforms and one more time: it’s free. Finally this month, someone wrote to say I spoke of a VPN a few months ago and they wanted to know more. I thought we’d covered it to the Nth detail, but to clarify, a VPN is a Virtual Private Network. They are mainly used by companies who want their employees to have a direct pipe into the company’s computers which is safe, secure and will allow folks working off-site (telecommuting or on business in a hotel for example) a way to get their e-mail, view private company documents, etc. But there’s a second, way smaller use of VPNs and that’s to fool a computer into thinking you are somewhere you aren’t. We, for example, like accessing a number of British and Irish TV programmes but they are localised. This means when one tries to log in to BBC’s iPlayer or RTE’s Irish player from the States, the British or Irish server knows due to our IP address where we are — and blocks us. The VPN logs us into a 2nd server located in the UK or Ireland (we have used several) and the site we are trying to access now thinks we are in the right country so we get to see our show. Technically, and someone asked this, too, use of a VPN to get around localisation on servers is not allowed by most sites’ terms of service. Even one of the VPN companies we checked said it in red type on its intro page: “Important – Please be advised that terms and conditions of usage may apply and you should always check with the specific websites prior to using their television streaming, download services and any products/services offered by the these third party websites. For example, due to licensing restrictions the BBC state that users of their video streaming services should always have a valid UK TV licence and to be based within the UK...” In short, that translates to: We will sell you this service, but you probably shouldn’t use it because it’s against the rules, so if you do and get caught we will disavow any knowledge of what you were doing or who you are. Oh, and that will be $9.95 a month, please. If you don’t quite get our joking lingo, just think of it this way: Most services which use ISP localisation do it to keep copyright materials where they are permitted. If you scale that firewall and bypass the tape which says do not cross, you could get in trouble. Is it any more likely than getting caught going 67 in a 65 zone on I-65? Not at all, but you should know that just like some morning a cop might be hiding by the Scottsburg exit, you COULD conceivably get nabbed. So what are the advantages? Well just like that extra few miles per will get you to Nashville faster, a VPN will let you watch a lot of TV and listen to a lot of radio services which are not in the USA. In the case of BBC’s iPlayer there’s everything from documentaries and Top Gear and Dr. Who to the 10 O’Clock News and live TV. It all depends, and if you wanna see what the offerings are you can (being from the U.S.) at least see the titles and summaries by visiting www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer or www.rte.ie/player Be aware if you click on view in the case of the BBC you will get a “not viewable from your country” message and if you try the RTE one you will be redirected to their international version which offers some news and other items, but not the majority of shows. So that’s what a VPN is. Search for Irish VPN or British VPN on Google and you will get to find out more and read about what different firms are offering. Just remember, like that cop waiting for his first ticket of the day, use of a VPN to circumvent copyrights is questionably legal and you have been warned.

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Mad Masquerade To Make Money & More Money For Damien Centre INDIANAPOLIS—Grande Masquerade is The Damien Centre’s largest fundraiser of the year and this time around it’s expected to raise $130,000 to help fight HIV/AIDS in Central Indiana. Now in its 24th year, this year’s Grande Masquerade theme is Mad Masquerade and it’s set to be held at the Indianapolis Marriott Downtown Saturday, 22nd October at 6 p.m. Mad Masquerade takes place in 1950s-60s America — the post-World War II period which marked the birth of cocktail hours, beehives and Barbie. Elvis Presley ruled the stage, public fascination with outer space reached an all-time high and Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on an Alabama bus. It was during this Cold War era that Elizabeth Taylor began her career, later championing the HIV/AIDS cause. Each year’s event includes a parade of costumes which prompted Elisa Rogowski, Development Director of the Damien Centre to tell The Word, “We anticipate a number of 50s and 60s ensembles this year, with wardrobes ranging from Mad Men advertising executives to Hairspray singers and dancers. Like our Facebook page to get costume ideas for Grande Masquerade (and Halloween) throughout September and October. It’s at www.facebook.com/thedamiencenter “Entertainment for 2011 is still coming together, but we’re proud to once again welcome the nationally-renowned show choir from North Central, the Counterpoints, who thrilled last year’s attendees with a local show rivalling anything on Glee. Their appearance is made possible by WTHR.” The silent auction is a large component of the event’s success due to the diversity of items and price points. This year’s auction items range from Ellen Degeneres tickets,

which have become a staple auction item, to a vacation in Puerto Vallarta. Donations for auction items are still being accepted. Contact Rogowski at erogowski@damien.org or at 317/632.0123, Extension 269 for more information. Volunteers are a huge part of Grande Masquerade’s success. If you’re interested in volunteering on the day please fill out the form at www.damien.org/volunteer or contact Rogowski at the e-mail or phone above. Finally, she noted, “This event’s success is made possible by generous sponsors. Current sponsors for this event include presenting sponsor The Marion County Health Department. Others include Barefoot Wine, Bose McKinney & Evans, Citizens Energy Group, DeFur Voran, Just Pop In!, Katz Sapper and Miller, McNamara Florist, Premier Capital Corporation, Printing Partners, Samerian Foundation, The Health Foundation of Greater Indianapolis, USA Funds, The Word and WTHR.” The funds raised on the night will help provide direct services to over 2,800 Indianapolis-area men, women and children completely free of charge. This event also allows the Damien Centre to remain the premiere local agency for HIV prevention, offering free testing, outreach and education. If you can’t attend but would like to give life-saving money there are a number of opportunities with four active donor levels, which can be accessed through the website at www.damien.org Business owners are especially welcome and promotions for various sponsorships are also still available. For more information about the Centre or Masquerade visit www.damien.org

Dayton Film Fest On Screen At The Neon DAYTON—The Downtown Priority Board and The Neon Theatre will partner again to host The Downtown Dayton Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans Film Festival during the last full weekend of September. Dates have been confirmed for the 23rd thru 25th and films have been secured. After looking at hundreds of hours of material, the screening committee selected The Green, which follows the story of a gay couple – who have left behind New York City for the charm of shoreline Connecticut – when one of the men is accused of “inappropriate behaviour” by one of his male high school students as the film that will open the festival Friday the 23rd. Other highlights include the enchanting documentary Carol Channing: Larger Than Life, the gorgeous French film Tomboy and the SXSW Film Festival award-winner Weekend. Additionally, this year’s festival will see the return of the popular Top Drawer Shorts – a selection of the newest, best short films from around the world. One special addition will be a selection of three films (one feature and two shorts) which focus on senior citizens in our community. The feature film – a documentary entitled Gen Silent — focuses on

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the fear of discrimination as many lesbian and gay seniors (many of whom fought the hardest for our rights) enter long-term care facilities. Organisers noted, “The festival provides a space for voices to be heard that aren’t often represented in mainstream media. The subjects range from comical to serious, but the stories all stem from the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. “The festival often highlights films that are made with smaller budgets. These movies go relatively unnoticed beyond our community, but they’re strong pieces of work that merit being seen by wider audiences.” For more info and tickets, visit www.daytonlgbt.com


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Michael E Wright, CFP® Financial Advisor .

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Sheila's Column By Sheila Kennedy How does change happen? Too often, we think of broad cultural changes as part of an inevitable sweep of history, sort of like the process of maturation we go through as individuals: as we grow up, we understand more. This analogy conveniently overlooks the people who grow older but do not grow up. And it overlooks the role that parents, peers and educational institutions play in molding individuals. Cultural change does not come about accidentally either. A lot of blood was spilled in the fight for legal equality. And by forcing legal change, the civil rights movement began the lengthy process of changing attitudes. The evolution from “a woman’s place is in the home” to a society in which working women are a commonplace didn’t begin with bloodshed, but it did begin with suffragette marches and continued with the establishment of feminist organizations like NOW and NARAL. Similarly, the growing acceptance of gays and lesbians has been the product of hard work by gay civil rights organisations. I mention that because, in my city, Fall is the time of year for Lambda Legal’s big fundraising dinner, and that made me think of all the organisations (local and national) that have made such a difference. That said, no organisation of which I am aware has been more important than Lambda, although there are certainly many organizations doing great work on behalf of the gay, lesbian, bi and trans community. The reason I raise the importance of civil rights organisations is that there tends to be a “trajectory” of support for any cause. Early in the movement for equality — whether for African-Americans, women or gays — there is generally a dedicated, even enthusiastic, core group which supports and funds the organisations that have been formed. As those organizations experience successes, as they see progress, and as time passes, the early support dwindles and the enthusiasm flags. (Most recently, you could see this in the fight against AIDS. As new medications were developed and discrimination lessened, so did awareness. The sense of urgency abated.) It’s well to remind ourselves that winning any battle, let alone the battle for equality, requires persistence above all. It can be difficult to constantly pump ourselves up, to attend yet another fundraiser or yet another rally. We all get tired of e-mailing and calling our elected representatives or writing yet another letter to the editor. That’s why organisations are so important — they do the day-to-day work that absolutely has to be done if a movement is to be successful. Through our donations we are paying others to be persistent for us. Writing a cheque is a lot easier for most people than doing the necessary nitty-gritty work. Writing that cheque is the least we can do.

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Gossip Cats By Gossipcats Britain & Sydney

September...Labour Day and we are not, as cats, labouring under any false impressions. We know that you either love and wait for our every word or find us obnoxious. We’d quote what someone informed our owners via e-mail the other day, but the person demanded it not be shared (ain’t that real brave?), so let’s suffice to say the person was certainly bitter, rude and seemed to have a huge chip on their shoulder, which is not news as we have heard this about the individual many times. We know, quotes or not, the person needs to lighten up just a bit. Wonder who peed in the writer’s Wheaties? Or did they put rocks in his/her oatmeal? Talk about a cereal killer!!!... OK on that note, what have we found out? Well for one thing we know there are two sides to every tale. We were told a story of woe one day about a scene at karaoke at an Indy club and the very next day we got side two of the tale from the club’s owner and a plethora of reliable witnesses. Suffice to say the stories were polar opposites but we are definitely going where the witnesses were and that’s on the side of the club and karaoke DJ. The way they tell it, the complainer, who first told we cats his tale, arrived at the club wasted and had a friend or two along who were equally blotto. Apparently one of them wanted to sing when it was not her turn, but she grabbed the mic (a very expensive one we might add) and tried to wrest it away from the performer singing. At that point, things reportedly got ugly, but at the end of the day, the group was refused more drink and shown the door. Of course they claim it all happened because they aren’t gay, but we agree with the club owner and DJ that nasty wasted folks are the same straight or gay — and that’s not very welcome. The sides will, we are sure, never get two and two together here and agree who was right, but our math says it adds up to the ones who were sober being correct! ...Speaking of adding up, we want to add our condolences to the friends and family of Melvin J. Hinrich (A/K/A Nevaeh Blue) who suffered an apparent heart attack in his car following a performance at last month’s Fort Wayne Pride and died in hospital 30 minutes later. We hear tell her funeral, however, was quite the undignified show with pro and anti gay fights breaking out during the service. According to our on-the-scene reporter, “The reverend, in her sermon included discussing the United Methodists’ stance on homosexuals’ ‘Lifestyle’. It was the old love the sinner hate the sin for their ‘lifestyle choice’... After the funeral director announced that the Christian part of the funeral was over, Melvin’s daughter stood up and addressed the crowd to declare Melvin was a sinner and in hell for being gay whereupon the drag queens arose from their seats to defend Melvin and to condemn the daughter for her hatred. I swear it was right out of a Dale Shore’s Sordid Lives play only reality was even more hateful. I sat and wept watching people in Melvin’s life fight and hate. Several people were either asked to leave or walked out in protest and Melvin’s elder brother had to step in as head of the family and restore order. Finally, Melvin’s younger brother and nephew folded the rainbow flag while the remaining guests walked up to the coffin and left their last tips, though one had no cash and had to borrow a dollar from a friend! After witnessing this event, I am so glad I pre-paid my burial with no funeral and nobody except the cemetery burial team around when my ashes are buried...” All we cats can say is amen to that and rest in peace Melvin. Oh, and sincere condolences to everyone at Fort Wayne Pride who were obviously quite shaken when news of the death got out... Speaking of out, and staying in Fort Wayne, we cats hear pride had some great entertainment. One of the folks there was a young duct tape artist who made a tape sign on his tight t-shirt saying he would perform tricks for tips. Most of the customers were delighted even though the tricks consisted of juggling instead of whatever their filthy minds conjured up; however one pushy patron of the arts suggested the young man could receive more tips if he performed shirtless. We pussies were told he promptly removed the shirt and placed the duct tape sign on his hot, hairy chest. Sadly, lotion was not applied before the tape was, leaving said entertainer in shall we say a rather hairy (or not hairy) situation when the evening ended and time came to remove his ad!... Speaking of ads, but this time spelled adds, we need to add our pussy get well wishes to those of his other friends for Louisville’s Arty who is recovering from surgery. We hope you are back to your Party Arty self soon!... Moving along, we hear tell our longtime politico writer Rick and equally longtime partner Bobby are due to swap rings and tie the knot in September. We wish them many, many more years together. And speaking of anniversaries, Ted & Ivan make it 19 years the 27th of September unless, of course, Ivan murders Ted first!... Next, condolences to Dan, co-owner of Henry’s in Indy who recently lost his dad. On a happier note, though, we hear congrats might also be due Dan and his cohorts as there’s talk of another Henry’s coming soon to add to the wonderful ones on East Street and Pennsylvania. All we can say is hope it’s true!... Speaking of true, is it true that Ted & Ivan’s boyfriend Anthony went with Olly’s owner Dean to the fair and that Anthony coaxed Dean onto a few of the rides? A good authority reported to these cats that they have NEVER heard Dean scream so loudly as he did on the aptly-named ride, The Screamer. Dean was apparently a gentleman, though, ‘cause he didn’t throw up and Anthony got home without any fingernails embedded in his arms. So, Dean, you going again next year? It’s gonna be the year of the cow, and that’s no bull, so no being a cow-ard! Meow!

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Food For Thought By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher

FORT WAYNE—I first discovered the culinary delights of this Northeast Indiana city almost 19 years ago as Ivan, now my husband — boo at the time, was attending college here and I was making frequent trips until he graduated and moved to Indianapolis with me. What I discovered then is still true now — there are a lot of hidden food gems because Fort Wayne, unlike Indianapolis and Cincinnati or Louisville, is not nearly as over-run by chains so there’s space for them to survive and even thrive. Local entrepreneur Don Hall is the leader in feeding Fort Wayne and while he has sneaked into Indianapolis with the Castleton Grill on the north side, most of his excellent eats are served in Allen County. And the town loves him for good reason. Ivan and I had our very first date at Don Hall’s Old Gas House in downtown Fort Wayne, so when we were in town for Pride a few weeks ago we naturally went back for dinner. The good news is the place did not disappoint anymore than Ivan has even after almost 19 years. While they have gone thru a remodel or two (including the last one which took out the old wagon and salad bar housed on it in the main dining room — and which we loved) the basic menu remains unchanged and delicious. It’s still heavy on traditional midAmerican dishes so steaks, excellent prime rib and fish as well as sides to go along are the rule. And the sides have not changed much either in 19 years, fortunately. They still include (and yes I copied and pasted from the online menu so the spellings are theirs) Creamed Spinach, Soufleed Sweet Potatoes, Mashed Potatoes, German Fried Potatoes, Onion Rings, Asparagus & Hollandaise, Baked Potato, Hash Browns & Onions, Sautéed Mushrooms, French Fries, Hall Fries and Baked Mac & Cheese. There’s a lot of fried and starch there I know, but hey this is a meal worth a few spare calories, so go enjoy and then walk some of them off in adjacent Headwaters Park or see the fort where Fort Wayne started or walk downtown’s lovely streets after dinner. The pricing at Hall’s isn’t what it was 19 years ago, but we should add it’s still fair. Three of us had soup to nuts for under $90 including a tip for the excellent server though he did lose 10 points later when we realised we never did get an extra side of the spinach we ordered and still wonder if was on the bill, but we were so happy and full as we left it made no matter. We’d recommend any of the Hall’s restaurants whether it’s the one we first ate at years ago or the others which we have tried in the years since. Don Hall does it right! Also doing it right in Fort Wayne is Cosmo’s. No it’s not a lost branch of the nowshuttered Indy gay bar, but the best breakfast and lunch place we have stumbled into in ages. We hit the location at 1425 W Washington Centre Road just off I-69 and close to the hotel where we stayed, and we found it not only delicious but for a Sunday midmorning breakfast, crowded and a real deal for what one pays. We were especially impressed with the “eggs, meat and more” area of the menu where pricing was between $3.79 and $6.50 which included not only eggs but choice of everything from traditional bacon or sausage to non-traditional gyro and corned beef hash with them. Add to that one of the three other choices was two pancakes. We did the eggs, sausage patties (which were spicy and oh, so delicious) and two pancakes ALL for $5.89. Is it any wonder the IHOP next door had a fairly empty parking lot while Cosmo’s was nuts to butts? The other thing worth mention is that service here is almost too fast. I didn’t even get page one of my Sunday Journal-Gazette read before the full monty appeared. And there was not an empty coffee cup or tea cup in the place as staff went out of their way to be sure everyone was smiling, served promptly and it was all at a very fair price. We’d recommend a stop at Cosmo’s either when in Fort Wayne or when your travels take you up I-69. The one we ate at was just off Lima Road (Exit 111) and worth a stop! Finally, a quick mention of Coney Island, the downtown (131 West Main Street) hot dog stand in Fort Wayne. It’s one of those easily overlooked spots which make places like the Food Channel and guidebooks everywhere. We didn’t get in there this most recent trip, but have a couple times in the past and we’d recommend it for a quick lunch and to see where the locals go. Coney Island has been around since 1919 and all they sell are burgers, dogs and things to eat with them like chips, beans and soft drinks. Pricing is out of this world cheap and the crammed tables and atmosphere is something no Mickey D’s could even come close to. They have limited hours, but are worth a stop in this Northeast Indiana city where unique and local reigns and the chains stay clear, all for really, really good reason — nobody needs them.


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The Word September 2011  

The Word September 2011