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Valentine’s / February 2012

February 2009

There’s Nothing Semi About Louisville Team’s Hopes At Florida Tourney By Arty Allen, For The Word

LOUISVILLE—They call it Spring Training in the majors, but for gay softballers Winter is usually a time to sit back and relax. Unless, of course, your team is good enough to be invited to play in the Gasparilla Softball Classic (GSC) in Tampa, which is just what’s happening in February to Louisville’s Raging Semis. Coming off their Division D championship in Columbus over Labour Day weekend, the Louisville Raging Semis are back at it as the team will be headed to Tampa 17th19th February for a shot at glory in what’s regarded as one of the largest and toughest North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association tournaments. The Raging Semis will not only face stiff competition, but have also been moved up to Division C after their showing in Columbus.

25 Years!

The tournament will span three days and consist of 72 games to determine a champion. Some 36 teams from 14 different states will be represented this year with The Philadelphia Tabu Triple Play heavily favoured after their 3rd place showing in the 2011 Gay Softball World Series in Chicago. Tabu Triple Play are also the defending GSC champs. Also back are the 3rd place finishers in the 2011 GSC, the Orlando Scrappers. Local favourite, the Tampa Hammerheads, took 1st at the Fort Lauderdale Hurricane Please Continue On Page 3

Indy’s Damien Centre Marks Quarter Century Of HIV/AIDS Service Our Story & More Of Cody Button’s Photos Inside On Page 46

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Louisville Softballers Head South Continued From The Front Page

Showdown and a share of 1st in their city league. Team coaches and players are optimistic, however, telling The Word, “The Raging Semis, playing in our first Division C

Tampa. They are: Arty Allen, David Ashcraft, David Carney, Mike Hartfiel, Jimmy Hartfiel, Todd Johnson, Shawn Satterly, Jason Shreve, Alex Thompson, Joe Tilton, and Greg Vanover. The team managers are Joe Nissalke and Nate Smith.

competition, should be very competitive. We are on a seven-game winning streak, beating our opponents by an average of nine runs per game.” The team fielded 12 players in Columbus and will be taking 11 of those 12 to

The Raging Semis are sponsored by Tryangles in Louisville. Other support comes from The Word. You can follow the action by ‘liking’ the team on facebook at: ragingsemis

Around Town DAYTON CENTRE PLANS WOMEN’S VALENTINE’S DANCE DAYTON—The Greater Dayton Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans Centre will host a Women’s Valentine’s Dance Saturday 11th February at the Dayton Women’s Club, 225 North Ludlow Street. The event will be from 8 till midnight. Admission is $10 which includes dancing, hors d’oeuvres and door prizes. Music will be provided by C&C Entertainment and a cash bar will be available. Parking in the lot next door is $2. For more information e-mail the Greater Dayton Lesbian & Gay Centre treasurer at MICHIGAN ACLU FILES SUIT AGAINST HEALTHCARE BAN LAW DETROIT – The American Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU of Michigan have filed a lawsuit asking a federal court to strike down a discriminatory and unjust new state law that bans many public entities from providing health care insurance to the domestic partners of their employees. The lawsuit was filed on behalf of school teachers, city and county workers and their domestic partners who will lose their health insurance as a result of the law. “This is not about politics or ideology for us,” said Peter Ways, an Ann Arbor teacher whose partner will lose his benefits. “This is about real families who are facing the real consequences of discriminatory laws. Just like our colleagues whose families will continue to receive health insurance, we want to care for our families.” The lawsuit charges that the new law discriminates by categorically denying domestic partners access to benefits and violates the constitutional right to equal protection by forcing gay and lesbian employees in committed relationships to carry the financial hardship and anxiety of being uninsured, while allowing heterosexual couples to marry and receive family health protections. In addition, the law only bars domestic partners from receiving health care coverage, while allowing government employers to offer benefits to all other family members, including parents, siblings, uncles and cousins.

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CUPID STRIKES (OR NOT) Valentine’s Day is just a week or so after the Indianapolis Grand Prize Super Bowl, but it’s never too early to peek around the corner and see what Cupid has in store for Indy’s voting public. Remember, Cupid’s arrows can zing or soothe. Luckily, I was able to sit with Cupid mid-January, and here’s what he has planned: On Cupid’s good side are:


—Former Indianapolis City-County Councilman Scott Keller (R) gets a painless Cupid arrow straight to the heart and best wishes for his upcoming campaign for Indiana House of representatives, District 100. The district is Democratic. The retiring representative, John Day, has been a stalwart champion of underdogs for over two decades. But Keller has strong gay and lesbian street cred. He co-sponsored the Indianapolis Human Rights Ordinance while on the City-County Council. He’s raised tens of thousands of dollars for our causes with wonderful house parties and personal donations. If he makes it to the Indiana House perhaps he can knock some sense into fellow Republicans. Cupid has warm fuzzies for Keller’s political aspirations.

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By Rick Sutton / Political Columnist

Although Sen. Simpson is too kind to say it there are also some economic realities when your neighbouring state takes a differing view on basic civil rights.


Your Vote Counts

That fact became eerily obvious when two same-gender couples were among the injured / dead at the Indiana State Fair grandstand accident last Summer.

—State Rep. Dennis Cheatham (D) was the author of the ridiculous Marriage Discrimination Amendment in the 2010 session of the Indiana General Assembly. But today, he gets Cupid’s undying gratitude. Chetham is retiring. He says politics has become too hateful. Pot, meet kettle. —Indianapolis’s City-County Council has Cupid’s eye, just because. Solid start for the new majority.

Serving OUR Community With Legal Services For YOUR Unique Needs

—Cupid has giggles and side-pokes for Word Publisher Ted. At a recent City-County Council Committee hearing on a smoking ban ordinance, an opponent of the ordinance used this publication as an example of “scandalous materials” available in the City Market. I believe he was referring to a particular ad demonstrating some scantilyclad dancers. Hilarious. (And this has WHAT to do with smoking? — Ted)


—Indy’s Super Bowl Host Committee has Cupid all a-flutter. All the hype, all the money and time spent…the world comes to Indy. Publisher Ted loves cold weather — let’s hope we have plenty of white stuff, but not enough to dampen enthusiasm.


—The Indiana Youth Group was awarded the status of first gay, lesbian, bi & transfriendly vanity license plate in America (or 2nd if Maryland really beat us). Cupid wants a plate for his snazzy ride. What a wonderful beneficiary of our required license plate purchases. And thousands of rolling billboards. Take that, Eric Miller.

Cupid has his eyes on multiple Indiana-area couples for love messages. But he’s also got his poison arrow out for some folks: —Gov. Mitch Daniels for his shameless rightwing pandering and flipping on the “Right to Work” legislation. There’s an excellent recap of his many positions on this important legislation here: Let’s just say his relentless desire for the national spotlight is suspicious.

March’s Deadline

—U.S. Sen. Richard G. Lugar (R) can’t get Cupid-love because he’s also pandering. And fighting for his political life. Which is sad.

—Any legislative body that contemplates over-regulation of the internet will get a Cupid arrow straight to the eye socket. Cupid opines that half the world’s love these days exists in cyberspace. No to PIPA and SOPA! Cupid promises a return visit. We’re having lunch in a few months for a follow-up. STUDY THIS Indiana State Sen. Vi Simpson (D-Ellettsville) has authored Senate Resolution 12, which asks the General Assembly for a Summer study committee on civil marriage.

The Word is published the last week of every month at 110 E. Washington St., Suite 1402, Indianapolis, 46204. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines will be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in The Word, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2012 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval.

The resolution indicates the legislature is likely to debate HJR-6 in 2013. And since the last legislative session, when HJR-6 won easily, the landscape has changed. Simpson notes that our neighbour Illinois has enacted statewide civil union laws. And she feels that Indiana should dispassionately discuss all laws relating to civil marriage before we jump off a cliff.

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Around Town IOWA COURT ORDERS ACCURATE & LEGAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE DES MOINES—The Iowa District Court for Polk County has ordered the state’s Department of Public Health to issue a birth certificate for two year-old Mackenzie Gartner, a child born to a married same-sex couple in 2009, listing both spouses as Mackenzie’s parents in reliance on their marriage and the spousal presumption of parentage it creates. “An accurate birth certificate is essential for a child’s physical, financial and emotional security,” said Camilla Taylor, Marriage Project Director for Lambda Legal. “The court affirmed what should have been clear to the Iowa Department of Public Health from reading Varnum v. Brien -- Lambda Legal’s case that established that same-sex couples in Iowa have an equal right to marry -- that a child born to a married couple has two parents, regardless of whether the spouses are same-sex or different-sex. Birth certificates document legal parentage, not biology. Children are entitled to accurate birth certificates so that their legal parents can enroll them in school, make medical decisions for them in an emergency and ensure that they can benefit from an employer’s health insurance plan, among many other reasons.” Mackenzie Gartner was born in September 2009 to Heather and Melissa Gartner, a lesbian couple who legally married in Iowa before she was born. The couple conceived with the use of anonymous donor sperm. After receiving a birth certificate that listed Heather as the only parent, the couple requested a corrected birth certificate listing both spouses. They said, in their suit, that the old certificate was in violation of Iowa law, which requires the state to issue a birth certificate to a child born to married parents listing both spouses as parents even when a mother’s spouse has no genetic connection to the child. Iowa’s Department of Public Health denied the request on the ground that Melissa is not Mackenzie’s genetic parent. In May of 2010, Lambda Legal filed suit on behalf of Mackenzie Gartner to require the Department of Public Health to list both spouses as parents on the birth certificate. The decision focused on Mackenzie Gartner’s welfare, and emphasised that “the integrity of Heather and Melissa’s family is promoted by allowing Melissa’s name on the birth certificate.” Iowa is now in line with every other state that permits same-sex couples to marry, enter into civil unions or enter comprehensive domestic partnerships. Each of these jurisdictions issues birth certificates to children born to same-sex couples in a legal relationship on the same terms as to children born to married different-sex couples.

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Leather Community Leadership In Action At April Nashville Weekend

NASHVILLE, Tenn.—The leadership of the leather community will be gathering here 13th-15th April and they invite anyone interested in community service, leadership, group dynamics, the history of the leather community or networking to attend LLCXVLLC XVI. Thomas Smith, chairman of the Leather Leadership Conference lives part-time in Louisville and the rest in Palm Springs and he’s especially interested in seeing Midwest and Southern leather folk attend. He believes that “leadership is practiced in attitude and actions and results in inspiring achievement.” Thomas was honoured to have received the Pantheon of Leather Southeast Regional Award for 2011 and was the inaugural recipient of the 2011 Connell-Stanley Award for Kentucky Leather Person of the Year. Among activities scheduled for the April weekend will be:

—Friday opening ceremonies including a Keynote address by Mark Frazier. Not only is he the co-owner and executive producer of the International Leather Sir/boy and community bootblack contest, but he is also the founder of SouthPlains Leatherfest. —Sunday closing ceremonies featuring a keynote address by Lady D. Reverend Deborah Harrison, who is better known as Lady D. She is a Lifestyle Domme and the owner of D&S Lifestyle Enterprises, a certified master hypnotherapist and believes in holistic healing of the mind. Her personal commitment is to help make this community stronger and better and to continue Jill Carter’s philosophy of “Each One, Teach One.” —An honours banquet at which the Leadership in Action Award will be presented to Rick Storer, executive director of the Leather Archives and Museum. Rick joined the Leather Archives staff as Executive Director in 2002, after serving as a volunteer for the museum for several years. This year LLC-XVI will be offering two pre-conference institutes of specific curriculum on Friday 13 April before the conference officially begins. One is dedicated to writers and getting published with Janet Hardy of Greenery Press. The other is about quality sex education programmes for adults facing challenges. The conference itself will highlight over 40 workshops and seminars with respected presenters from around the country set to offer the finest in skills building and leadership development training. New this year there will “Room Vending” and a dedicated vendor track for community vendors. All events will be held at the Radisson Opryland Hotel at 2401 Music Valley Drive, Nashville. A prime location with great entertainment, organisers noted “Our Nashville hotel offers warm Southern hospitality, an inviting atmosphere and excellent services.” For reservations ring the hotel direct on 615/889.0800 or see the online reservations at While many “regulars” will be attending, organisers told The Word they want to strees that “Everyone is welcome! If you are interested in community service, leadership, group dynamics, the history of our community or networking opportunities you are invited to attend LLC-XVI.” For more information on the conference visit html


Tuesday • Broadway Methodist Church • 6:30 pm – 8:30 pm 609 East 29th Street, Indianapolis

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Around Town FAIRNESS TO HOST MONTHLY GAY & LESBIAN ALZHEIMER’S SUPPORT GROUP LOUISVILLE—The third Wednesday of each month at noon at the office (2263 Frankfort Ave., Louisville) Fairness will host an Alzheimer’s support group in cooperation with the Alzheimer’s Association. Anyone part of the lesbian, gay, bi or trans or allied community who’s been touched by Alzheimer’s disease may join for a confidential monthly support meeting. Meredith Miller of the Greater Kentucky and Southern Indiana chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association will co-chair the group with Col. Luke Barlowe of the Kentucky Advocate Association. Meetings will last about an hour and brown-bag lunches are welcome. “Alzheimer’s 101” will be the theme of the first meeting held Wednesday, 15th February at noon. A free lunch will be provided for all who attend the first meeting. For questions ring the Fairness Campaign office on 502/893.0788 or e-mail Laura@  FAIRNESS SETS ANNUAL LOBBY DAY IN FRANKFORT FRANKFORT, Ky.—Fairness Campaign rally/lobby day is coming up 22nd February beginning at 9 a.m. in the Capitol Annex, Room 111 (702 Capital Ave, Frankfort.) Recent surveys show that 83% of Kentuckians support Fairness and 87% believe students should be protected from bullying. This is an opportunity for Kentuckians to let legislators know you agree by calling 800/372.7181 & joining the Fairness Coalition on the 22nd for Statewide Fairness Rally & Lobby Day. The day’s schedule will include an 8 a.m. carpool departure from Fairness Campaign office (2263 Frankfort Ave. in Louisville); a 9 a.m. lobby meeting/training in Capitol Annex Room 111 and a Rally in the Capitol Rotunda at 1.30 p.m. Contact fairness at 502/893.0788 or e-mail for more info. Of particular attention during lobby day will be Senate Bill 69 / House Bill 188, the Statewide Anti-Discrimination Fairness Law; an Anti-Bullying Law; Hospital Visitation Rights Law; and Dual Parent Adoption Law. HRC & TENNESSEE HUMAN RIGHTS EQUALITY CALL FOR HOSPITALS TO REVIEW VISITATION POLICIES NASHVILLE, Tenn.—The Human Rights Campaign and the Tennessee Equality Project (TEP), Tennessee’s only statewide organisation dedicated to the rights of gay and lesbian Tennesseans, call on all hospitals to review their policies and practices related to hospital visitation after Rolling Hills Hospital in Franklin, Tenn. reportedly denied multiple requests by Val Burke to visit her partner who was a patient. Out and About newspaper reports staff members excluded her from the room because she was not a legal spouse or family member. Such a denial would violate federal hospital visitation regulations. While the incident at Rolling Hills Hospital has been resolved, it serves as a reminder of the importance of hospital visitation rights for gay, lesbian, bi and trans Americans. HRC and TEP call on all hospitals to participate in HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index (HEI). “Discrimination in a personal medical setting may be one of the worst forms of discrimination lesbian, gay, bi and trans people face. Federal regulations were put in place for precisely this reason and allow all people to be by their loved ones during their most vulnerable moments,” HRC President Joe Solmonese noted. “Denying a loving partner the right to be with his or her sick loved one shows the very personal side of anti-gay discrimination,” TEP Nashville Chairman Chris Sanders noted, adding, “We hope hospitals across Tennessee and the country learn from this sad incident and ensure this never happens again. The starting point of this learning process is to participate in the Healthcare Equality Index.” In January federal regulations regarding patients’ hospital visitation rights went into effect. The regulations require all hospitals participating in Medicaid and Medicare programmes – virtually every hospital in the country – to permit patients to designate visitors of their choosing and prohibit discrimination in visitation based on a number of factors, including sexual orientation and gender identity. HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index (HEI) is an annual survey of healthcare policies related to gay patients and their families. The HEI can serve as an organisational assessment tool by assisting hospitals in modifying their policies and can help hospitals comply with Joint Commission standards addressing non-discrimination and new HHS regulations.

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Your Vote Counts Continued From Page Four

Those concert attendees, for example, didn’t forfeit their civil union status when they paid good money to travel to Indianapolis for a Sugarland concert. Their broken bones and lost lives are no different from the shattered lives of straight folks who were similarly hurt or killed. And a Hallmark Moment occurred when Indiana’s activist attorney general did not flinch one bit as he approved state payouts to survivors of that accident. The largestsingle payment went to the lesbian spouse of a killed concert-goer from Chicago who was lovingly linked to her spouse, who was also badly injured at the concert, by a valid Illinois civil union. Indiana legislators were hard at work at press time to increase the gross liability limit for such accidents. It’s currently $5 million as homage to our state’s solidly pro-business legislature. The dozens of injured and killed at the State Fair had medical bills alone that topped the $5 million figure. It’s a sad fact that neocon legislators refuse to concede: state lines, religious beliefs, race, economic standing — none of those “dividers” get traction when a tragedy occurs. When you lose someone you love government shouldn’t interfere in the healing or dying process. It’s an unfortunate but obvious backdrop to the entire discussion of couples’ benefits as determined by Indiana law. PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: INDIANA IN PLAY AGAIN? At press time, former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich was still doing victory laps for his South Carolina primary “performance.” But one Indiana politician is probably hoping the presidential primary stays competitive a little longer. Indiana Republican Chairman Eric Holcomb smartly invited all presidential contenders to meet with Hoosier Republicans last Fall. Several took advantage of the opportunity. Hoosier Republicans got a chance to see up-close-and-personal some of their party’s brightest hopes for 2012.

allow us to listen to radio stations worldwide. In the last few weeks, I’ve heard ads from Davenport, Iowa, Manchester, New Hampshire and Charleston, S.C. radio affiliates. It ain’t pretty. This crop of Republican presidential wannabes thinks they need to move further and further right because two of the first three primary/caucus states have decidedly rightwing Republican audiences. Never mind that’s not where the country is because it’s all about winning now. And sustaining your campaign. First-place in the polls didn’t work for Pizza Man Herman Cain. Or Texas Gov. Rick Perry. Or Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. Or that backporch Russian observer, Alaskan Half-Gov. Sarah Palin. It’s clear that national Republicans want an alternative to former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. They just can’t figure out how to do it without imploding. Skin blemishes unearthed now become November moles. All those ads don’t disappear from voters’ minds in November. But this state-by-state delegate scramble doesn’t assume national stature for a little while longer. California, Oregon and New York voters watch MSNBC and Fox. The political junkies eat it up. But the junkies are 2% of America. Which is why a May primary can be invigorating if it’s meaningful.



If the national sweepstakes stays competitive Indiana’s May primary could be in the spotlight again as happened in 2008 on the opposite side of the aisle. The similarities are stark. By mid-February 2008, Pres. Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton were the two Democrats left standing. Each party’s rules govern national convention delegate selection and by May they were virtually deadlocked. By mid-February 2012, one Republican had won Iowa, another New Hampshire and another South Carolina.

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Presidential campaigns had ignored Indiana primaries for four decades until 2008. The ’08 buzz created enough political memories to last a lifetime, but could we be in for another treat on the opposite side? Time will tell. AND THOSE ADS….. Biggest winners in the 2008 Indiana presidential primary? Media outlets. Millions were spent on candidate ads. Sadly, Ted tells me not a cent was spent in this paper by either party, but maybe this year.

CALL RON AT (317) 902-2796


Biggest change since 2008: Citizens United. The cruel national joke played on us by Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, et al, which indicated corporations are people. Thus, they can run political ads. Lots of them. And Federal Election Commission regulations are so loose that in 2012 we’ve seen tens of millions spent by multiple organisations — almost all of it negative, against a favoured candidate’s opponents. Very few of these ads were positive. Paid for by such nondescript organisations as “Club for Responsible Growth” or “Citizens for Freedom” we usually don’t get any printouts indicting from whom the money originated to run these nefarious ads. If the ads already aired are any indication, the Fall election is going to be roughand-tumble. And borderline bigoted. Code words like “welfare moms” and “food stamp president” are everywhere. We can hear these ads now thanks to wonderful iPhone and iPad radio apps that

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pecs and the by Matt Ponder February is an interesting choice for the holiday that celebrates love. You would figure they would have thrown it in around late March or early April when Spring rears its sun-drenched head and leads us to feel the tingle of awakening as we shed our clothes in the warmer weather. But, since there’s no changing the calendar — and since this is our last year on earth according to those wacky Mayans — Valentine’s Day remains firmly entrenched in the snowy second week of the second month. I’ve written about all kinds of love in these pages: first love, romantic love, love at first sight and even the love that we find for a few hours in a one-night stand. Love is a word that people still toss around with abandon, but the word itself is a way to describe any emotions for something that connects to strong affection. These days, however, the word “love” has become so overused and watered down it’s at the point where long-dead poets wouldn’t even recognise it. Just yesterday I was saying how much I love jalapeno potato chips, Being Human and Channing Tatum. All different, but all connected to strong affection. But what if you couldn’t use this important word when it really mattered? What if when you wanted to tell the world about the one person who captured your heart you were unable to do so because you were afraid of the consequences? Sure, saying it to the person you have fallen for is scary enough, especially when you finally realise what you’re feeling is actual love, but when you do, your first instinct is to share it with everyone: your friends, your family, the cashier at the grocery store and anyone who will listen. Real love makes the sun brighter, the sky bluer and the world seem more alive and kinetic as you spin madly through it in a haze of bliss. But when you have to hide it, it becomes an anchor around your neck. Secrets, even ones as wonderful as love, are still secrets. And when you feel you have something to hide it tarnishes the glow of everything it touches. When we die, our secrets have two places to go: buried with us or exposed to the light of day. The person we showed to the world when we walked the earth is gone, committed to the dirt that we previously trod upon in our Diesel sneakers. We wonder what people will say about us after we’re gone and if someone might crack our laptop password and find all our bookmarked porn. We wonder who will be at our funeral and who will realise they miss us more than they would ever care to admit to while we were alive. Everyone has different opinions about what happens after we die, so for some of you, you may get to see it for yourself from a spectral plane and for others, you might as well not worry, because you won’t be around to see it. The real question here is: when you die will you have lived the life you wanted to live? Will you have said “I love you” to the person who stole your heart and will you have been brave enough to share it with the world? Now let me give you an example of shadowed, secret love. My late Aunt Lynette was an amazing person and I relished my time with her razor sharpness and her infectious laughter. When she passed away in 2001 my mom and I were in her apartment deciding what to keep and what to sell. That’s when we found the letters. Fragile and browned with age, they were tied together with a ribbon. Inside the envelopes were pages and pages of perfect cursive handwriting that outlined a long and romantic relationship with a woman named Jean who had been friends with my aunt for years.

for her sister all those years with this secret locked up inside of her. Lynette and Jean had been friends and co-workers, and they had gone on numerous trips together as “friends”, but the real truth of their relationship had remained in the dark for the entire time they had been together, and the secret stayed with them until the end. My aunt had spent her later years taking care of my grandma until she passed away in 1995, and when Jean died a few years later she was all alone. No one close enough to her heart to hold her hand or kiss her goodnight. No companion or partner to be with her before she died to tell her she was loved and to let go of this earthly plane. Their love was so secret that they never expressed their emotion in public. To this day the thought of the two of them having to live this life and my aunt spending her last few years alone shatters me inside. Don’t get me wrong — I understand that it was a different time. Living life as an openly gay person in the 40s and 50s was a far cry from how it is now. Even then, two women hanging out together didn’t raise as many eyebrows as two men who were inseparable. But the point remains that even though sexuality had to remain secretive for many reasons — including basic survival from homophobic violence — some of this school of thought remains firmly in place today. Many people are still locked in the back of dark and lonely closets — especially those who live outside the limits of major cities — living in fear of a nation still having flames of fear and hate fanned by many in the church and politics. To live this life and die alone with the secret of your love hidden inside of you is unacceptable. No matter what anyone believes happens to us after we die, I can only hope my aunt and her love are together somewhere and finally free. I only wish two things: one is that they could have felt some freedom and acceptance while they were here — even if it was the simple act of holding hands in public — and the other is that my aunt could have shared who she truly was with someone in her family, whether it was her sister or even her overly dramatic, but well-read nephew. As I mentioned earlier, many of my columns have been about love and relationships, but in the centre of them is the simple rule that we all should live by to achieve happiness during our brief time in this world: Be honest, be fearless and live your life without regret. Especially when it comes to love. Don’t be afraid to fall for someone who fills your heart with joy. And don’t be afraid to say it out loud. But before you do, make certain you mean it in its truest form. You’ve known someone a month? Then odds are you don’t truly love this person yet. In the space of a month you don’t even know who they really are. But when the time comes and you realise the person you thought was just a fling or merely someone you passed the time with on numerous dates is something much, much more, that’s when you need to say it. If you feel this way the odds are they feel it too, even though they may be struck dumb with fear. But if you’re worried you won’t hear it in return, don’t let that stop you. You will hear it from the one you love eventually. No one goes to their grave wishing they hadn’t said “I love you” so much in their life. It’s the hate that weighs us down at the end. As for the fear of what others may think if your heart is strong and your love is pure there is nothing that can bring you down. Without love earth becomes a tomb. The cloak of oppression is lifting, and a life of fear with love locked in secret is no way to live. I’ve loved and lost many times in my life and I don’t regret a single moment. I learned so much about myself and the experience of love that even though things went badly or ended in tears and heartbreak, I wouldn’t change a single thing. It took me a long time to learn how to be fearless when it comes to love, but now that I know what it means to live my life free and unafraid, the world seems limitless. The earth may give you what you need to live, but love gives you the reason why you live.

My mom was completely caught off guard and had absolutely no knowledge that this had gone on for so long without her older sister ever sharing it with her. I had briefly wondered about my aunt as I grew into my own sexuality, but only because she had never married and had a penchant for pantsuits — neither of which were clear indicators that she might be involved with a woman, but they didn’t exactly help her seem straight as an arrow either. Since I’m so lucky to have such an amazing and open-minded mother, this discovery didn’t change her feelings for her sister, but it did put her in my aunt’s shoes for a moment, which was long enough for my mom to wonder how difficult it must have been

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friends, but they all seem so happy and nothing seems to ever bother any of them. I try to put on a good face for my friends and maybe that is my problem. I try too hard to always be happy and never really let anyone know what’s honestly going on inside me. What can I do? How can I work through this or should I just give up and end it all?”

Whipping Post

Dear Help me:

By Ms. K / Word Columnist The New Year has come and gone already and we are well on our way to the middle of Winter and all that comes with it here in the Midwest. With these short, grey days comes depression for so many people in our community as we deal with what to many of us is bad weather. We Winter-haters have been lucky so far with many sunny days but we know that we will have at least some gloomy times until we reach Spring in a few months. How do you deal with depression in the Winter or, for that matter, depression any time of the year? I have received several letters from folks in our community who are down and out either from depression or bad times. I will share with you three of those letters. Dark and down in Greenwood, Indiana writes, “I get depressed several times throughout the year but especially just after the holidays. This has happened to me for as long as I can remember. It starts with New Year’s Eve and I usually don’t come out of it until well into springtime. What can I do to help myself from being so depressed? I have talked with a counsellor and have thought about getting some anti-depression medicine. I have heard bad things about medicines, though, in regard to them making people uninterested in sex, etc. What do you think I should do?” Dear Dark and down in Greenwood: I would call my physician today and make an appointment to speak with them about my depression. See what your options are and make an informed decision. I know many people in our community are on anti-depressants. There may indeed be a chemical imbalance in your body that causes these depressions throughout the year. Some people have sexual side-effects while others do not. I would think that if I were very depressed, I would not be interested in sex anyway, so what do you have to lose? Get help and get it fast. Do not delay. You are an important person in our community and I care deeply what happens to you. The next time I see you I want to see a person who is not depressed!

I don’t want you to ever give up. You say you have friends but you don’t utilise those friendships. How many times have you sat and listened to people complain about something but yet you say that you’re never the one who complains. If you think all your friends have perfect lives, then they are not letting you know their real situations. Life is not perfect and bad things do happen to good people. How we deal with those bad things is what distinguishes us from the rest of the population. Remember you are a person in our community who deserves to find happiness and deserves to learn how to overcome those bad times. We all have them. We just don’t all talk about them. Think about how you have handled situations in the past and change things. It has obviously not been working for you in the past and it will not work for you in the future if you just keep repeating the same things over and over. Learn from your mistakes. Learn that you have handled things badly or you would not want to kill yourself. Make an appointment to visit with your physician to see if you have a chemical imbalance in your system that might be causing these feelings. Learn what makes you happy and work with that. If you need to see a psycologist or psychiatrist, try that and see if things improve for you with counselling. Happiness is not going to happen overnight, but you will never get better unless you start working at it right now! Good luck and please keep in touch with me on your progress. I will be reporting next month on the Southwest Leather conference’s 10th anniversary to be held in Phoenix. It promises to be great as over 500 leather folk gather to socialise and learn from each other. Awards and titles are earned at this event. Please write to me at I really enjoy getting your e-mails. We have such a great community and I learn something new and wonderful every day. See you next month.

Around Town

Take me away from all this in Evansville writes, “I feel as though I have moved into an anti-gay community here in Evansville. I moved from Chicago late last year and have found Evansville to be less gay friendly than I am used to. I find myself heading back into the closet little-by-little each day. I never thought of a place like this when I moved for a job last year. Is it that in Chicago things were just so much more out and things here in Evansville are not? Is it me or them? I find myself hiding the fact that I am gay which I have not done since I was in high school. Should I move or accept this way of life?” Dear Take me away: Evansville is not Chicago, which you have already found out. I would have thought that moving from the larger gay community in Chicago to a small gay community in Evansville it would have been obvious things would absolutely be different and much more closeted. Knowing both of those gay communities I believe you will be disappointed if you think Evansville will ever be like Chicago — at least not in our lifetimes. You need to assess whether you can live with this and make the best of it or decide you want something else and start looking for another job in a larger city with a more ‘out’ gay community. If you decide to do this, make sure you visit the city several times and experience the gay community there to be certain that it is what you want. This will ensure you don’t end up in another depressed situation and become even more unhappy. Make sure you know what you are getting into. I would never — unless there were no other choice — move to a small city where I knew the gay community was not as out as where I am now, but that’s personal choice. It is difficult at best to go backward once you have been out, so I do understand. Good luck with whatever you decide and keep me updated on how you are doing. I have friends in the Evansville gay community so let me know if I can help with introductions, too. Help me end this writes, “I have thought about killing myself more than once in my lifetime. Actually, I have thought about it several times. I remember the first time was when I came out to my parents as gay, then again when I came out to my family as being kinky, then again recently after ending a very bad relationship. I have felt many times of depression but I feel that at my age (I’m 51) it’s maybe time to just give up. I have

NEW SPIRIT MCC PLANNING TO MARK 40 YEARS OF SERVICE CINCINNATI—Plans are in the works for a celebration at New Spirit Metropolitan Community Church of Cincinnati as members are gearing up for a 40th anniversary observance to be held in 2013. The local church opened its doors in March of 1973 — the same year Cincinnati held its first pride rally downtown. It is an important milestone for the local congregation which owns a building at 4033 Hamilton Ave in Northside. Please drop at note to to be part of the planning activities. The congregation was and remains a pioneer in the denomination as the first MCC congregation was founded in Los Angeles by the Reverend Troy Perry in 1968, a time when Christian attitudes toward homosexuality were almost universally negative. The MCC has grown since then to have a presence in 37 countries with 222 affiliated churches. The local group has a website at: Regular worship services at held each Sunday at 10.30 am. POSITIVE LIVING SETS FEBRUARY ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION INDIANAPOLIS— Positive Living of Indiana will be celebrating their one year anniversary 18th February from 5.30 to 7.30 p.m. at the Starfish Initiative, located at 814 North Delaware St. Food will be first come, first served. Organisers told The Word that they hope to see everyone there. OKLAHOMA LAWMAKER WANTS GAYS OUT OF STATE NATIONAL GUARD OKLAHOMA CITY—The Human Rights Campaign is joining The Equality Network in condemning legislation Oklahoma Representative Mike Reynolds is pushing that would implement a more extreme version of the discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law, which would be applicable to the state’s National Guard. The bill would bar gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals from serving in the Oklahoma National Guard and goes beyond the discrimination contained in the now-repealed DADT statute by allowing government officials to directly question someone about their sexual orientation – essentially removing the “Don’t Ask” component contained in DADT.

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Ask The Pharmacist Chelsea Roth, PharmD / BioScrip Pharmacy Indianapolis Very few healthcare professionals in the United States like answering questions about natural medicine products (also known as “herbal remedies” or “herbals”). Chances are if you’ve asked your doctor about herbal products, they probably resisted answering the question and told you to ask your pharmacist. After all, pharmacists are supposed to be the experts about medicines, right? I’m a pharmacist myself, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that most pharmacists don’t like answering questions about herbal products either. Why is that? I believe that there are a few contributing factors.

As I mentioned previously, data about herbal products is hard to come by, but below are a few consumer-friendly websites. If you have any questions or concerns regarding herbal products that you are taking or considering for use, don’t hesitate to contact your pharmacist even if makes him or her squirm just a bit. They may not know the answer to your question off the top of their heads, but they should have the knowledge and resources to find the answer for you — if it’s out there. Helpful websites:

Herbal products are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), which means that anyone who can market, package and distribute these products essentially has free reign to do so. The Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994 (DSHEA) classified herbs as “dietary supplements” and not “drugs,” so the FDA is not required to regulate them. So then why, you ask, are some naturally occurring plants, like marijuana, regulated by the government? The answer is that marijuana is currently classified as an “illicit drug” and not a “dietary supplement” or a “medicinal drug,” so it is overseen by a division of the government called the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA). Manufacturers of herbal products can make claims about their product’s supposed safety and efficacy and the claims don’t have to have any scientific evidence to support them — unlike claims made about drugs. The only stipulation is that manufacturers cannot claim that their herbal products diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any diseases. For example, a company can say that their product “improves your mood” but they cannot say that it “treats depression.” Secondly, pharmacists primarily learn about FDA-approved drugs during their time at pharmacy school. The reason for this is because of what I mentioned earlier – the efficacy and safety of drugs has been critically evaluated. If drugs are ineffective and / or unsafe for human use they are not introduced to the market. If they are found to be both effective and safe they’re evaluated on whether or not their use requires the supervision of a physician. If they can be used safely without the supervision of a physician they are sold over-thecounter (OTC). If they require a doctor’s supervision, they are deemed “prescriptiononly” drugs. The lack of studies to support the use of herbal products for certain conditions makes a lot of healthcare professionals leery of recommending them to patients. Lastly, not only is data scarce about their efficacy and safety, but even less data is available to the public about how herbal products interact with other herbals, OTCs, and prescription medications. For example, gingko, which is frequently marketed by companies as a “memory booster,” can cause serious bleeding problems if taken with aspirin. St. John’s Wort, a popular herbal for depression, can diminish the effectiveness of both oral contraceptives and a group of mediations used to treat HIV called protease inhibitors. Many consumers believe that herbals are neutral when it comes to interactions with their medications since they are so readily available at their local pharmacies, but that simply is not the case. Where do I stand on the use of natural products? That’s a good question! I tend to agree with the crowd that says IF there is evidenced-based data for the effectiveness and safety of the product AND there are no suitable FDA-approved products for you to treat the condition diagnosed by your physician AND there are no known drug interactions with any of the “traditional” medications you are taking AND you firmly believe that the product is helping to alleviate the condition you’re using it for then what’s the harm? There are a lot of “ifs” and “ands” in that sentence, but each one is equally important. Remember that it’s crucial that your doctor(s) and pharmacist(s) know if you’re taking any herbal products in addition to the medications which you receive by prescription or purchase OTC. It is also good to tell them why you are taking herbal products and how long you have been taking them. Also, be certain to include all OTC and herbal products you take routinely and as needed on your list of medications that you carry with you at all times. You DO Carry a list in case you are unconscious or unable to speak and in an emergency such as a car wreck, right?

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You Auto Try This... By Casey Williams/ Automotive Reporter Like other great marques, the Ford Mustang evolves over time, getting ever better. Year-to-year changes may seem insignificant, but they add up to entirely new cars in a short period of time. Changes made during 2011 and 2012 added refinement and style to all models. But, as the 2012 model year rolls into 2013, Ford prepares for a new Boss. “Everything we did for 2013 is consistent with and links directly back to our 1970 heritage. The reflective stripes and hockey stick graphic in particular mean something to Mustang enthusiasts,” said Dave Pericak, Mustang chief engineer. “Last year, we proved the car had what it takes to perform, and this year we focused on enhancing its eye-catching looks and celebrating its history.” If it takes you a few seconds to catch the reflective stripes, you sure as heck won’t miss the available school bus yellow paint and snarling, air-gulping grille with chrome pony proudly positioned mid-stride. Gray colours the grille, mirror caps and rear spoiler for a contemporary touch. Special badging and dual-gray alloys set the car apart. The more prominent grille, splitter and functional hood extractor accompany standard HID headlamps and LED taillamps. Fog lamp plugs can be removed with a screwdriver to improve cooling on track days. Smoked taillamps and a black panel between leave their signature as the Mustang accelerates away.

most fun without getting into trouble. Despite prayers to every world deity, a solid rear axle remains. Given all of the exciting performance specs and aggressive exterior, you might be surprised to learn one of the car’s best attributes is its humble little interior. Large analogue gauges, twin-cowl dash design and adjustable-lighting gauges are as expected in a modern Mustang. Ford SYNC voice-activated connectivity via Bluetoothenabled cell phones, USB iPod connections and a hands-free navigation system are standard for 2013. Drivers will also enjoy the new Track App that monitors on-track performance with an LCD display. Recaro front seats and interior trim finally befit a car of the Boss’ caliber. I realise that for some of you, a measly 444 hp simply won’t do. It’s OK, because Ford also went to work on the 2013 Shelby GT500. Its 5.8-litre supercharged aluminum V8 engine makes a whopping 650 hp, churns 600 lb.-ft. of torque and can touch 200 mph. Revised gearing helps it steer clear of the Fed’s gas guzzler tag – an amazing achievement. The Shelby doesn’t quite have the chassis of some of its rivals, but downforceinducing aerodynamics and an adjustable suspension system keep it firmly on the ground. “SVT keeps the Shelby GT500 on the cutting edge of technology and takes muscle car performance to new heights,” said Jost Capito, director of Global Performance Vehicles and Motorsport Business Development. “We encapsulated every aspect of performance in this car – whether it’s 0-60, top speed, racetrack or quarter-mile times. Beyond that, the daily driver also will find this car perfectly fits his or her needs.” Boss or Shelby, pick your poison. It doesn’t really matter which you choose because either will scare the night soil out of virtually every other so-called sports car. Recently launched at the Los Angeles Auto Show, both hot new ponies will be in the Ford corral come next year.

The original Boss 302 was finessed by stylist Larry Shinoda, who also played an important role in the ’63-’67 Corvette’s design. It had front and rear spoilers, black hood and racy side stripes. Under the hood, a Windsor small block V8 with Cleveland heads put down a claimed 290 gross horsepower (actual output was much higher). Stiffer springs and shocks were nearly a match for the engine’s output. That little history lesson is only to help put the 2013 Boss into perspective. The new model will generate 444 hp (net) and 380 lb.-ft. of torque. Engineers focused on giving the car a smooth idle and manageable low-end torque for getting the groceries. The short-throw shifter is a joy. Exotic hardware upgrades include a race-inspired clutch and limited slip differential with carbon fibre plates; a torque-sensing Torsen limitedslip differential is optional. Anywhere you throw it, the Boss 302 is sure to blast a path. Keeping that power in line is a chassis that engineers for the old Boss could never have conceived. High-rate coil springs, stiff bushings and large-diameter rear stabiliser bar work in coordination with a lower ride height to improve handling. Adjustable shocks and struts are standard on Boss Mustangs. The 19-inch black alloy racing wheels not only look good, but help the Pirelli PZero tires stick like spider legs. Boss-specific Brembo brakes with four-piston calipers and specific ABS calibration allow drivers the

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Finances In Focus By Michael Wright / Edward D Jones I don’t have to remind anyone in Indianapolis or anywhere close by that it’s Super Bowl time again. And whether you’re a sports fan or not, amidst all of the hoop-la taking place downtown this month you can probably learn something from the Super Bowl teams which you can apply to other endeavours — such as investing. What might these lessons be? Let’s take a look: —Pick players carefully. The Super Bowl teams didn’t earn this year’s trip to Indianapolis out of luck — they’ve made it in part because they have carefully chosen their players. And to potentially achieve success as an investor, you, too, need carefully chosen “players” — investments that are chosen for your individual situation. —Choose a diversified mix of players. Not only do The Patriots and Giants have good players, but they have good ones at many different positions — and these players tend to play well together. As an investor, you should own a variety of investments with different capabilities — such as stocks for growth and bonds for income — and your various investments should complement, rather than duplicate, one another. Strive to build a diversified portfolio containing investments appropriate for your situation, such as stocks, bonds, government securities, certificates of deposit (CDs) and other vehicles. Diversifying your holdings may help reduce the effects of market volatility. (Keep in mind, though, that diversification, by itself, can’t guarantee a profit or protect against loss.) —Follow a “game plan.” Super Bowl teams are skilled at creating game plans designed to maximise their own strengths and exploit their opponents’ weaknesses. When you invest, you also can benefit from a game plan — a strategy to help you work toward your goals. This strategy may incorporate several elements, such as taking full advantage of your Individual Retirement Account (IRA) and your 401(k) or other employer-sponsored retirement plans, pursuing new investment opportunities as they arise and reviewing your portfolio regularly to make sure it’s still appropriate for your needs.

Still, we may see some smaller-scale — yet not insignificant — changes in the near future. In light of this possibility, what investment decisions should you make? Here are a few suggestions: —Consider owning investments which are taxed in different ways. No one can predict what will happen with income tax rates or the tax rates that are applied to capital gains and dividends. Consequently, it may be a good idea to seek “tax diversification” by owning investments that are taxed in different ways. For example, when you sell appreciated stocks, you pay capital gains taxes, whereas interest payments from bonds will be taxed at your individual tax rate. And it’s always a good idea to take advantage of tax-advantaged vehicles, such as an IRA and your 401(k) or other employer-sponsored retirement plan. —Stick with quality. It’s a good idea, when owning stocks, to invest in quality companies with diversified businesses. These companies are usually less dependent on a particular government programme, and they typically have a global reach, so they may be better able to handle any changes implemented in Washington. —Stay focused on your long-term goals. Politicians come and go and our political parties seem to take turns holding the reins of power. Yet your long-term goals — such as paying off your condo, a comfortable retirement and the ability to leave a legacy — don’t really change. By realising that you are largely responsible for achieving your goals, and by following an investment strategy that’s suitable for your individual risk tolerance and time horizon, you can make gradual, but still meaningful, progress toward those goals — no matter what’s happening in Washington. Finally, review your strategy regularly. With the possible approach of changes in tax policies and in government programmes that can affect your retirement security, you’ll want to make sure where you’re headed is still on track toward helping you meet your objectives. As part of this review, you may want to seek out more “tax-smart” investment opportunities, while always looking for ways to supply the asset growth you’ll need to enjoy the retirement lifestyle you’ve envisioned. Aside from voting for the candidates who best represent your interests, you may not have much influence over what goes on in Washington. But by “electing” the right moves to help meet your goals, you can have plenty of control over your investment strategy.

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—Stay dedicated to your goals. The teams headed for Indianapolis this year have had to overcome obstacles, such as injuries, bad weather and tough schedules. But through persistence and a constant devotion to their ultimate goal, they persevered. As an investor, you’ll face some challenges, too, such as political and economic turmoil that can upset the financial markets. But if you own a diversified mix of quality investments and follow a long-term strategy that’s tailored to your objectives, time horizon and risk tolerance, you can keep moving forward, despite the “bumps in the road” that all investors face. —Get good coaching. Super Bowl teams typically are well-coached, with disciplined head coaches and innovative offensive and defensive coordinators. When you’re trying to achieve many financial goals — such as a comfortable retirement, control over your investment taxes and a legacy to leave to your partner — you, too, can benefit from strong “coaching.” As your “head coach,” you might choose a financial professional — someone who can help you identify your goals and recommend an appropriate investment strategy to help you work toward them. And your financial professional can coordinate activities with your other “coaches,” such as your tax and legal advisors. Unless you’re a professional football player, you won’t ever experience what it’s like to play in the Super Bowl, though with all that’s going on downtown in Indianapolis this month you can come close. In investing, however, close won’t get you the funds or security you need, so you will need to jump on the field. Remember that achieving your financial goals can be a fairly big event in your life — and to help work toward that point, you can take a few tips from the Giants and Pats. You might just score a few needed extra yards when it’s 4th and goal and you have the ball! Meanwhile, while the sports world has Indianapolis firmly in their sights this month, others are looking at the ballot box since this is a Presidential year. While the election season heats up, you will hear more and more promises, claims and counter-claims from the candidates. As a citizen, you may or may not enjoy this “political theatre,” but as an investor, you might be concerned over all the talk about taxes, Social Security, Medicare and other financial topics. Will you need to adjust your savings and investment strategies? If so, how? Before you think about adjusting your investment strategy in anticipation of any actions coming from Washington, keep a couple of facts in mind. First, few campaign promises become reality. And second, due to our system of government, radical shifts in direction are difficult to implement — which is why so few of them occur.

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Standard Reviewer By Bill Elliott / Word Critic

ing to compromise on the smallest issue, even with members of her own party. “The lady,” she once famously stated, “is not for turning.” Therein lay her downfall. In one remarkable scene in The Iron Lady, Thatcher chastises her entire cabinet, and singles out her unfortunate deputy prime minister, Geoffrey Howe (Anthony Head), for providing an agenda that is riddled with spelling errors. She dismisses the entire cabinet meeting as a result.

I left the United Kingdom and emigrated to the United States a month after Margaret Thatcher came to power in May 1979. Those two events aren’t connected but I do remember sensing, as soon as she was elected prime minister, that things were about to change and that Britain wouldn’t be quite the same again.

In the course of her political career, Margaret Thatcher travels from ambitious, young service-oriented politician to ruthless, bullying dictator in pearls. Her peers were clearly in awe of her; but they also lived in fear of being the object of her vicious personal attacks.

More than 30 years later, Britain IS a very different country to the one Thatcher inherited (and the one I left) in 1979. In their separate countries, and jointly on a wider stage, Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Regan effected changes that still reverberate around the world today.

But that is only a part of The Iron Lady. The vast majority of the film focuses on Thatcher’s relationship with her husband Denis, who is presented as both likeable buffoon and as life anchor. Already several years dead at the start of the film, Denis Thatcher “appears” as a ghostly companion for the aging and increasingly fragile Margaret. Despite repeated requests from her daughter Carol (Olivia Colman), Thatcher is reluctant to let go of her late husband’s clothes and possessions. As portrayed by Meryl Streep (who is uncannily more Thatcher-like than Margaret Thatcher ever was), these scenes are almost unbearably sad. That the actress is able to create such a sympathetic portrait of Thatcher is either the film’s greatest success or one of the greatest sleightsof-hand in the history of cinema.

Given the role Thatcher played in international politics, The Iron Lady, the new biopic about her, is a very strange film indeed. Arranged mostly in flashbacks, the story we are told gives only sporadic insights into the events leading up to her election; even less time is devoted to the wide-sweeping social changes that she initiated. The film spends the bulk of its nearly two hours on the elderly Margaret Thatcher coming to terms with the loss of her husband, Denis, and the onset of dementia. This seems strange because Thatcher is still living and such a personal peek into the life of a public figure is usually reserved until after that person is dead (e.g. The King’s Speech). I can’t imagine what Thatcher’s family thinks of this film, let alone what she might feel if she has the opportunity to see it for herself. Not that the film is unsympathetic to Thatcher. It is often quite painful to watch as this formerly powerful and vibrant figure is reduced to mentally frail, and barely functioning, octogenarian. Where the film is at its weakest is in its piecemeal and somewhat flimsy efforts to “explain” what made the “iron lady” an icon of the global neo-conservative movement. The flashback format attempts to connect the aging Thatcher to her past, covering the early influence of her grocer father, her scholarship to Oxford, her marginalisation by the male-dominated Conservative party, and her courtship with the gangling and comic Denis Thatcher. While instructive in fleshing out the “story” of Margaret Thatcher, each of these narrative vignettes falls short in showing how she became one of the most powerful leaders in the western world.

It is worth noting that a major absence in The Iron Lady is Ronald Reagan. Other than one very brief clip of Thatcher and Reagan dancing at a White House social function, there is no mention of their frequent collaborations or of their close friendship. One wonders why? On reflection, it is ironic that both Reagan and Thatcher suffered from dementia in later life. The Iron Lady goes so far as to suggest (as others have suggested about Reagan) that her memory loss may have begun while she was in office. Given the position that both leaders held while in power, and the reverence accorded to them later as political icons, that is really a disturbing statement about the nature of contemporary politics.

Thatcher’s gender is never very far from the film’s core. While there had been women who had led other countries (Golda Meir in Israel; Indira Gandhi in India), Thatcher was the first woman to lead a democratic western nation. Early on, the film points out her refusal to accept the traditional role of wife and mother. When she states this fact to the proposing Denis Thatcher (Jim Broadbent), immediately after her first (and unsuccessful) attempt to run for Parliament, he replies, “That’s why I want to marry you.” The film’s opening sequence deftly sets the tone for what is to come. The elderly Thatcher has temporarily “escaped” her cadre of “handlers” and she slips out to a local supermarket to buy a pint of milk. This simple act echoes many themes that emerge later in the film. (An interesting aside: Thatcher first came to public notice as Secretary of State for Education in the early 1970s. She pulled funding from a national programme that provided milk for every child enrolled in British schools. The newspapers dubbed her “Thatcher the Milk Snatcher!”). Later, Thatcher attracts notice from Conservative party leaders and the general populace because she is able to quote the current price of commodities like milk and butter, while her privileged Tory colleagues have little idea of the day-to-day costs of maintaining a family household. The fact that Thatcher was a woman, rather than undermining her position as a potential leader, actually helped in elevating her onto the political stage in late 70s Britain. After 1978’s “winter of discontent” which saw Britain plummet into chaos following strikes by miners, utility and sanitation workers, power outages and reduced workweeks, Thatcher was elected on a platform of “putting Britain back to work.” Her appeal to British housewives played no small role in her election. Thatcher did indeed prove to be an “iron lady” as the Soviet media dubbed her. As prime minister she swiftly reformed the British welfare state (or, in her words, “nanny state”), strangling the power of trade unions, re-privatising nationalised industries, and creating unprecedented levels of unemployment. She also managed to lead Britain into (and win) a war against Argentina over the Falkland Islands, and survived at least one assassination attempt. Throughout 11 years as leader of Britain, she remained unwill-

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Outside The Box


By Dr. Fred Schloemer, LCSW / Louisville Dear Dr. Fred: I met a wonderful guy I will call Clayton last Summer. We have been dating and moved in together in the Fall. We are exclusive and happy, but there’s one thing which he does that bugs me to pieces. I am out and very active in the gay community I live in (volunteer for Pride, AIDS charities and more) so I do see a lot of people I know. As we meet them I always introduce Clayton and everyone is most cordial, but as soon as we are out of earshot he asks me: “Did you and he ever have sex?” I always answer truthfully which is in all but one of the cases they volunteer with me or work with me so no as I am not a tramp. He did meet one ex and I told him so but he continues after six months to ask most every time about folks we run into. He knows I’m faithful as is he, but it is still annoying as he gives me the impression he suspects I have slept with the whole town. Do you have any suggestions since I adore him and do not want to lose him but this is getting a bit repetitive! Pat in Ohio My Response: What a wonderful opportunity to better understand the “green-eyed monster” we all know as jealousy, a multi-faceted emotion with many forms of expression, some more troubling and difficult to resolve than others. Probably the most common manifestation of jealousy is the resentment we feel when we perceive someone else is unfairly getting more attention, affection or tangible rewards than we are. This type of jealousy usually occurs very early in childhood but isn’t limited to that time of life. Even some fairly mature and otherwise well-balanced people may find themselves feeling jealous when they think someone else is unjustly “getting more goodies” than they are. This reader is dealing with another, more complex type of jealousy which I’ll call “partner jealousy” here. Partner jealousy occurs when we see someone we love becoming the object of attention or desire of another person. Another variation is when we think that someone we love is more interested in another person than they are in us. In either case, we fear abandonment, betrayal and the loss of love. A strange twist about partner jealousy is that it normally manifests in particularly irrational and global ways. It can be triggered by totally innocent and innocuous events or behaviours, and be expressed in very scattered and erratic behaviours. The partner who feels the jealousy may even direct their ire at everyone in the vicinity, not just the perceived offending parties. I recall a dreadful party I attended where a couple I’ll call “Joe and Tom” went at each other all evening, making the entire gathering extremely uncomfortable. It all started just because Joe was polite to an old boyfriend who was also present that evening, and Tom thought Joe should have snubbed the ex, “or you must still have feelings for him,” as he put it. As the tensions between the two escalated, other guests tried to jump in and reassure Tom, but he confronted them too, for “taking Joe’s side!” Clearly, solving partner jealousy problems can be very challenging. The best success normally occurs when we’re able to help the jealous party to see that what they’re really experiencing is doubts about their own lovable qualities rather than doubts about their partner’s fidelity. And that’s the paradox in partner jealousy – it seems like something we feel about our partner’s trustworthiness but it really has much more to do with the way we feel about ourselves — especially our capacity to hold our partner’s love. If I’m a reasonably self-confident person I won’t need to feel threatened by my partner and a third party interacting with each other. On the other hand, if I doubt my self-worth, I’m going to feel vulnerable emotionally if I see my partner and another person connecting. So, dear Pat in Ohio, I sympathise with your frustration, but also hope you can come to see Clayton’s behaviour as something that needs your understanding and guidance. Set some loving boundaries with him when he starts his questioning: “Now, dear, you are the only man in the world for me and I am totally yours so we’re ending this discussion now.” If he persists, try some behaviour modification and give him a “timeout,” by removing yourself from his presence, telling him it’s to prevent a needless disagreement, but reassuring him you’ll be glad to reconnect once he’s in a better frame of mind. Avoid responding with anger, which would just give his irrational fears far too much power over both of you and thus inadvertently reinforce them. These interventions may take some time and repetition to work but should eventually pay off for you. If they don’t, I encourage you to see a counsellor together. Fred Schloemer, Ed.D., LCSW is a Louisville psychotherapist specialising in gay issues. Write him at


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Jill’s Swill Jill A. Ditmire / Mass Ave Wine Shoppe

February is truly a yin and yang kinda month — even this year with that magical 29th day. Fewer days of Winter BUT fewer days to enjoy an adult beverage. More sunlight each day BUT less sunsets to toast. More holidays and themes than any other month to celebrate with a great glass of local beer or unique wine or lip smacking craft spirit cocktail BUT it’s a leap year so we have 29 days. Wait a minute, I think I got frost nipped. One EXTRA day this month? Let’s not waste any more time on the yin and start yahooing the yang! Here is our guide to what is being celebrated this month and what to put in your glass to go with it. —Black History Month. Fairvalley Winery, South Africa — First winery to be owned by Black South Africans after Apartheid ended in that country. The owners have since created schools, hospitals and housing for employees as proceeds from bottle sales are used to support the winery. Enjoy its grassy, fresh Sauvignon Blanc or earthy, dry Pinotage.

—22nd February is Ash Wednesday. You can ask for forgiveness AFTER you enjoy a glass of Santa Clara Rompope, a rich, creamy, Mexican liqueur that comes in vanilla or pecan. —22nd February is also Washington’s Birthday. We can not tell a lie. Indiana’s own Prohibition Gin makes a sensational companion with Q tonic. —The 26th of February is Academy Awards night! Bubbles to imbibe while watching the winners and losers. Any sparkling from Gloria Ferrer Winery and Vineyards in California will have you seeing stars all night even if your fave film or star doesn’t take home the biggest prizes! —29th February is Leap Year Day. This is your chance to open that bottle of wine you’ve been “saving for a special occasion” or to buy one and MAKE it a special occasion. Can’t decide on white or red? Perhaps one of each from Amber Hill Secret Blend or Beso de Vino to toast the end of a super month with a lot of great wines and even better excuses to open one (or more) and toast the upcoming Spring in March. Speaking of which, I’ll see you then or pop by Mass. Ave. Wine Shoppe and pay me a visit in February!

—American Heart Month. Colby Red, California — Colby Groom underwent two open heart surgeries before his 10th birthday. He is a healthy teen today but to give thanks he and his winemaker dad created this red blend. A heart on the label and proceeds from sales benefitting heart research make this the perfect wine to drink for the cause. —Parent Leadership Month. Groom Shiraz, Australia — A real show of leadership can be attributed to Winemaker Daryl Groom for doing what he did above (Colby Red) and for producing magnificent bold ripe reds from down under. —National Wise Health Consumer Month. Le Lapin Wines, California — amazing values from the Rabbit Ridge folks of Paso Robles, California. Le Lapin is the winery’s second label but these bold wines: Petite Syrah, Zinfandel and several blends are uber delicious and under $10. —2nd of February Wear Red Day. Ol Red, California — Mitch Cosentino’s comeback label. Bold spicy Zin and a bevy of other field grapes make this bottle of red a reason to celebrate every day this month. —2nd of February Groundhog’s Day. Naire Rose of Tempranillo, Spain — Pink wine that isn’t sweet. Pink wine that can be enjoyed either chilled or at room temp. Don’t wait for the sun to shine to enjoy this food friendly wine under $10. —5th of February Super Bowl Sunday. New York makes great wine, especially riesling. Not much is shipped from there to here but sometimes you can find a bottle or two at a local wine shop. Indy is hosting so maybe local craft beer from Flat12 Bierwerks or Barley Island or any of the dozens of new micro brews popping up in the Indianapolis area. New England? I’ll get back to you, but my editor says he had some great wine from a local wintery when a cruise he was on called in Bar Harbor, Maine. —9th February is the Jewish “New Year of the Trees” Tu Bishvat. In the 16th century, the kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Luria of Safed and his disciples instituted a Tu Bishvat seder in which the fruits and trees of the Land of Israel were given symbolic meaning. The main idea was that eating ten specific fruits and drinking four cups of wine in a specific order while reciting the appropriate blessings would bring human beings, and the world, closer to spiritual perfection. Celebrate a tree fruit infused craft spirit with High West Peach Vodka from Utah. —12th February is Lincoln’s Birthday. Emancipate your tastebuds. Don’t be a slave to oaky Chardonnay. Enjoy Le Drunk Rooster from France. Crisp, dry white with lovely hints of granny smith apple and no oak! C’est bon! —The 14th of February is both Valentines Day and International Condom Day. For the former try Pasion de Bobal from Spain, which is a lush, elegant dry red with a romantic label. For the latter Friends Red from California is a fun, fresh, dry red blend with a charming label. Screw cap for easy open and close so no excuses for breaking the mood. —20th February is Presidents Day. You have to have courage, spirit and class to lead this country. Kind of like Indiana’s own Backbone Bourbon distilled in Lawrenceburg. No caucus needed to know that this straight cut whiskey is a winner. —21st February is Mardi Gras. A craft spirit spin on one of NOLA’s most popular drinks: Hum Hurricane. “Hum” is a new craft spirit made from rum and infused with botanicals, keffir lime and coriander. Amazing!!

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Zuppa House Salad, Classic Caesar Salad, Southwest Caesar & Spring Mix Salads


TRAIL MIX SALAD (VEG) Spring mix blend, fresh blueberries, pecans, sunflower kernels, craisins & feta cheese. Served with our famous Maple Balsamic Dressing. CHICKEN CRUNCH Lettuce, sweet spicy chicken, red cabbage, peas, julienne carrots & crispy rice noodles. Honey Mustard Dressing KICKIN’ CHICKEN Buffalo chicken tenders, blue cheese crumbles, diced tomatoes and green onion. Blue Cheese or Ranch dressing. COMMERCE COBB Chopped salad w/ bacon, avocado, tomatoes, turkey, egg & feta cheese. Blue Cheese or Maple Balsamic dressing. ROASTED APPLE-TURKEY Spring mix, turkey breast, grapes, fuji apples, pecans celery & feta cheese. Maple Balsamic dressing. MEDITERRANEAN GREEK (VEG) Romaine with seedless cucumber, red onion, black olives, roasted red peppers, sundried tomato & feta cheese. Greek Balsamic dressing.


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WITH ZUPPA KETTLE CHIPS ROASTED RED PEPPER CHICKEN Diced chicken with garlic-mayo, roasted red peppers, banana peppers & provolone cheese. STEAK FAJITA Grilled seasoned sirloin steak, roasted sweet red peppers & pepper jack cheese. CRANBERRY TURKEY PECAN Fresh roasted turkey with cranberry sauce, cream cheese and chopped pecans. TRIPLE GRILLED CHEESE Cheddar, provolone & pepper jack cheeses. CHICKEN CORDON BLEU Baked ham, diced chicken, Swiss cheese and honey Dijon mustard sauce. ZUPPA CAPRESE PANINI (VEG) Parmesan & mozzarella w/ sweet red peppers, roma tomatoes, & basil cream cheese.


WITH ZUPPA KETTLE CHIPS THE BIG ISLAND Tangy pizza sauce with ham, pineapple, banana peppers & mozzarella cheese. ZUPPA WHITE (VEG) Parmesan sauce, fresh clipped spinach & artichokes w/ mozzarella & feta cheeses. JAMAICAN JERK CHICKEN Sweet Caribbean sauce, jerk spiced chicken, bacon, red peppers & mozzarella cheese. WILD MUSHROOM (VEG) Creamy Parmesan sauce, a blend of shiitake & Portobello mushrooms and feta cheese. ZUPPA CUBANO Honey-dijon mustard base with roast pork, diced ham, Swiss cheese & dill relish. BBQ CHICKEN Diced chicken tossed in our tangy sauce, topped with onions, cedar & gouda cheese. CLASSIC PEPPERONI & CHEESE Topped with Italian herbs and spices.


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Damien Centre Marks Quarter Century INDIANAPOLIS—Where were you 25 years ago? What were you doing? Can you remember and are you still progressing in a positive way after so many years to accomplish what you set out to do? If you are Indianapolis’ Damien Centre the answers are all “yes” as this year marks the 25th anniversary of The Damien Centre and they will be celebrating and commemorating these years of service to the Central Indiana community throughout 2012. It’s been an amazing 25 years — years which have seen The Damien Centre transformed from a tiny organization run mostly by volunteers to the largest AIDS Service Organisation in the state of Indiana. The agency was begun as an idea of Canon Earl Conner in 1987, who was taken with the lack of community services for persons diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. From that humble beginning, The Damien Centre now serves 1,126 clients a year through Care Coordination, provides 2,315 free and confidential HIV tests and offers comprehensive services including legal assistance, a food pantry, housing and short-term financial assistance, career development and much more. A renewed focus on HIV Prevention can be seen through programmes such as Teen Damien and Project Core, which focuses on the recently incarcerated population. More people than ever are learning safer sex practices to protect themselves and their partners and learning to live healthy and dignified lives. Yet even with all of this, why does this anniversary matter? And who should it matter to? Celebrating a major milestone means different things to different people. To the donors and funders who have provided monetary support over the years, it means that their trust and their investments have not been misplaced. The Damien Centre is no longer a two or three year project operating on a shoestring budget — it’s a major player in the local and state HIV community. Every donor, from the Dining Out for Life diner who gave $5 once to the major funders who have given millions over the years, can know that their money has not been wasted, their investment is safe, and that they’ve been an integral part in turning a dream into a reality.

and self-sustaining members of the community. For others, it has meant a shoulder to lean on when there may have been no others or a hand to hold in their final moments. Bartenbach added, “For many, many of our clients, it has meant not reaching those final moments yet, but continuing to live their lives for years beyond what they and anyone else may have expected thanks to access to medication, doctors and the services they need to be healthy. Untold numbers have never contracted HIV thanks to prevention education and outreach. It is ultimately for our clients, and those who never have to become clients, that these 25 years are being celebrated.” In the coming months, we will be sharing history and stories about The Damien Centre and staff there want you, our readers, to be involved. Look for more information on the 25th anniversary events and special features in our columns as well as the centre’s monthly newsletters, mailings, website and on Facebook. We and they want to hear how you’ve been involved in the past and how you’d like to continue to make a difference in the future, as well as how AIDS has touched your life. The centre will also be celebrating their 25 years with 25 stories from those in the community who have been touched by it in various ways so look for those to be unveiled throughout the year as well. “As we commemorate our 25th anniversary, we ask that you consider this history, the people we have served and lost, the people we encounter every day and the people we hope to reach out to in the future — may they live a life of dignity and know that The Damien Centre is here for them. After 25 years, we are still here, and we will be here until this horrible epidemic is gone,” Bartenbach concluded. To learn more about The Damien Centre’s history, services and upcoming events visit www.

To the community, 25 years of prevention messages, condom distribution and services to help all of those affected by HIV means that the reach of this terrible disease has been reduced. Tom Bartenbach, the centre’s excecutive director (he’s at right in the photo above) put it another way: “While it’s difficult to estimate the true number of people who have been touched by The Damien Centre, we know for sure that fewer of our friends and family members have been struck down before their time thanks to volunteers and friends who made our mission their mission as well. To staff (shown above), volunteers, donors and all of those people who have worked at any point in their lives with or for The Damien Centre, 25 years offers a chance to say ‘We Made It!’ The going has not always been smooth or easy, but as long as the focus has remained on the client, it’s always been worth it.” Which leads to the most important group…the centre’s clients, to whom having the Damien Centre has been central for life. To some, help from the centre has meant sleeping with a roof over their heads instead of on the street or eating nutritious food from the food pantry (photo at right) instead of going hungry. Some clients have had the opportunity to take part in career programmes, complete their educations and go on to get jobs and become proud

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packing boxes for a downtown store. See what we mean? Best part is aside from data usage costs if you go over your plan’s limits (audio is way less info hungry than Netflix or videos, by the way) the streaming is free once you get the app.

Hackin’ The Net By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher Some of my friends got iPhones and iPads for the holidays and now, weeks later they are scared to death of them either because they don’t know how to use what amounts to a pocket computer or because they don’t realise all the computing power which is in the palm of their hand.

The best way to find out what TuneIn has on offer is to access their online site at www. and register for an account. It’s free and they do NOT need a credit card. Next, look thru the station lists by genre or area or type in call letters or faves. If you use it on your smart phone it can even — by GPS — find out where you are and display a list of “local” stations though I have found this an annoyance when I want to listen to something away from home, not local, and it keeps showing me Indianapolis stations I don’t want and if I did, I could hear on a radio.

The biggest questions we have had from the pals we have spoken with really boil down to a single query: How do I work this? For those needing real basics like how to answer a call, we will leave it to you, your manual and the folks at your phone provider or the local Apple store.

What about other uses for that phone or pad? We have way too many apps, but we do use most of them. They cover almost anything life throws at us. There’s everything from a medical symptom checker app (symptomchecker.MD) to ones offering the latest news from Britain’s BBC (BBC News) and others which give weather (WeatherBug and iWeather are our two faves).

But we will give a few bits of advanced advice as someone who has now had three generations of iPhones and two iPads of different generations. And the biggest advice is: Do not let fear rule. Try things you think you might like and listen to friends suggestions for apps.

There are also some really special and unique apps. If you like photos, check out the one on this page. It was taken one night when we did dinner at Metro in Indianapolis with the phone and an app called Photosynth which simply allows you to aim your phone or pad cam and tap to start then pan left to right slowly.

So what can that pad or phone replace? Well at our house it’s spelled the death knell of our XM/Sirius car subscription because now we have all the music and live streaming radio, plus Pandora without the fee. Who wouldn’t want to save $100+ a year and still have their music?

The app knows when to shoot the next photo, then asks after you hit “finish” if you want them stitched. Within 30 seconds you will get a 360 degree (or less if you hit “finish” sooner) panorama.

At the most basic level you can listen to your own music which the iPhone, iPad and most Droid devices will let you download from your computer then take anywhere. Most cars these days have inputs so you can plug in that phone or pad and listen thru the speakers on “auxiliary” so the sound will be great. Want something live, not recorded? Well, there are multiple apps in both of the major operating systems’ online app stores. I will confess I’m an iPhone and pad user but my friends have shown me their droids and they have the same or very similar apps at their fingertips. The live listening ones have advanced quite markedly from what I reported here a year or 18 months ago. Older ones like FlyCast and Tuner have, on our devices at least, either been shoved off the front page of apps or dropped altogether because better stuff has come along. The two we use most often are TuneIn Radio and one called WunderRadio. Both apps are available on the iTunes and Droid stores, but do read the reviews others post before you buy. TuneIn is little or no cost as they have a regular version for free and “pro” one for just 99¢. Wunder is more costly and the latest version, while it works great for us has a lot of negative (1-star) reviews on the iTunes store. I don’t agree with that and would give it four out of five, but a lot of folks do not update their pad or phone operating systems and as those change, old apps sometimes stall or fail to perform well or at all. Message: Stay current and update! So what will these apps do? Give users access to somewhere between 40,000 and 50,000 radio stations from around the world — most of them free 24/7. We tend to like formats such as classical and easy listening / beautiful music which are not even on the airwaves locally fulltime or at all. Thanks to TuneIn we can listen to Classic FM from the UK and to KAHM in Arizona or WKTZ at Jacksonville, Florida’s Jones College which are both easy listening anytime in the car, on a walk or at home. Want other formats? They are ALL here. From Chinese gong music and Arabic chanting to all flavours of rock, pop and country in every major world language. Anthony, our partner, says he still can’t find an Indianapolis station he likes so six months on he streams U-93 from South Bend (“back home”) to his iPhone’s ear buds while he works

The only down-sides are some fast-moving folks appear stretched or left out if they move between shots too fast and that when you finish you need to tell the app what to do with your completed photo. Failing to put it in your photo library means you can’t post it on Facebook or share it easily, but this is a small price to pay for a super cool app. I also happen to love international news and a recent addition to the store called RTE Player has been great. It allows live streaming from RTE which is the national broadcaster of Ireland. They have a live 24/7 all news channel, as well as offering some of the network’s comedy, drama and other shows. But be warned: a lot of the offerings in those latter categories are copyright and only visible to Irish users. I’m content with the non-stop news and weather, but to each his or her own. And did I mention the app and the streaming are free? This app is better than BBC’s for TV (not print, however) news as the live stream on BBC is only visible in the UK and this one works everywhere albeit with a few limitations. Lastly on the apps I can’t live without list (see why I get sooo excited about my phone and pad?) there’s a fun bit of a privacy invader app called Find Friends. It really can screw with your life if you let it, so use with caution, but what it does is allow you to see where your friends (or wife, boyfriend, kids, etc.) are with shocking honesty. The good news is it can be turned off if you are somewhere you aren’t supposed to be so dad or the girlfriend won’t know plus, to use it in the first place you have to invite someone and they have to trust you enough to accept the invitation knowing you could be aware of where they are at all times. By the way, it’s not just spyware — it does have some positive uses like knowing when your spouse leaves work and is close to home so you can start dinner. And for a friend needing a ride, for example, it’s easy to see on a map exactly where they are lost and find them in the car. Just know who you OK to follow you and trust them without question! So that’s our quick help guide for those who got new phones, pads or are hoping for same at Valentine’s Day. By the way, if your love got a phone or pad for Christmas don’t forget an iTunes gift card fits inside a Valentine very well and will allow him or her to buy some apps which might not be freebies!

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Music Corner By DJ "Miss" Hill / MJ's Cafe / Dayton Catch DJ “Miss” Hill at every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at MJ’s Café in Dayton. Hill’s Top 10. Based on dance floor results and requests (Not what he thinks is hot): 1 - Rihanna ft Calvin Harris - We Found Love (Happy HotDog Club Mix) 2 - Beyonce - Run The World (LEX World WideW Club Mix) 3 - Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger (Soul Seekerz Club Mix) 4 - LMFAO - Rock Party Anthem 5 - Jennifer Lopez - On The Floor 6 - Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (TGIF) (Almighty Club Mix)

not believable. It’s that typical European cover tune with the skinny white girl with no voice. Don’t bother with this one. Look up the original hit from about five years ago. Dynamix featuring Tina Ann. And better yet find the Victor Calderone Roxy Club Anthem. Lula & Kult Of Krameria - Music Is Freedom: Yay! Another Lula rambling hit. I would love to be in the studio when she’s recording. I bet she is so wasted and high... the contact buzz alone. I couldn’t imagine... Anywhooo... Of all the mixes I was given none suck. The are all afterhours worthy. You know that feeling. It’s 5 a.m. The buzz is still in your head and Lula just won’t shut up and all you can do is move your shoulders to the beat. I miss those days. Check out the original mix, the Charles Lima & Adam Freemer Club Mix and the Eddie Cumana Club Mix. This is my new personal favourite. Zedd - The Legend Of Zelda: And to finish off for the gaming geeks. I can’t believe this is even out there. No comment. Crap! That’s it for now. Hope you survive Valentines Day. I’ll be back in March with some “Lucky” hits. Check me out at or find me on Facebook under Douglas Hill. If you like or hate what I review about please e-mail me at I welcome both good and hateful replies. And let me know about any local independent music. I’m always open to new stuff.

7 - LMFAO - I’m Sexy And I Know It 8 - Kelly Clarkson - What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger) 9 - Lady GaGa - Marry The Night (Rodrigo Baron Club Mix) 10 - Beyonce - Countdown (Ranny’s Big Room Mix) Hey there!!! DJ “Miss” Hill here. I’m sayin’ the “YAY!” I hope you’re keeping your New Years resolutions. My resolution was to drink less. Yea, right. Let’s move on to February with some mixes I’m sure you will “love”. Just a reminder: I’m not here to tell you what’s new but to let you know what remixes are out there whether through my record pool or from word of mouth. Before I even get started on my opinions I just want to let you know I will be referring to a lot of this month’s mixes having that damn “Farting Robot Duck” sound. It’s abundant this month. Just a heads up... Beyonce - End Of Time: With the exception of the original mix of Rule The World I’m liking Beyonce’s new stuff. It’s up tempo and danceable. End of Time is a great love song to begin with but let’s add the club mix to the equation. I’m a huge fan of the Wideboys Mixes but for some reason they had to make it all “Farty Robot Ducks”. Other than that part it’s a great mix. You only hear the “ducks” a few times but still it’s annoying. For a more club sound I recommend the Manny Lehman Club Mix. I’ll have to see which way the crowd leans. Carishma - Glow In The Dark: Does anyone know who this is? Ooh...her video is featured on MTV. They still play music on there. She’s a little bit bubble gummy but that’s OK. I have the Dave Aude Club Mix to butch this one up. Duh...It’s Dave Aude. David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On: Finally, a Nicky song without that awful rap that she does. There’s a small bit but I can handle it. She’s really singing. I actually prefer the original but if you like the longer club stuff then I suggest the Happy HotDog Club Mix. If you like that crap they call “Dub Step” then you will LOVE the David Guetta & Laidback Luke Mix. Dubstep is the worst thing to happen to the club scene. Skrillex is the worst of it all. Don’t get me started. That’s a whole different article. Kelly Clarkson - What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger): Love me some Kelly. And she loves “Love / Hate” stuff and break-up songs. That’s probably why I like her. Been there, done that. Referring back to the “Farting Ducks” ignore all the mixes except for the 7th Heaven Club Mix. It keeps the integrity of the song but adds a bolder and more sped up club sound. I need an electro shotgun and a robot pointer. I’m going to hunt for robot ducks. They’re getting way overpopulated. Neon Hitch - Fuck You Betta: Really?! This is something I want my twelve-year-old neice to listen to and aspire to be. Really? Another new mess who wants to get famous by slut tunes. Thanks Katy Perry and Ke$ha. You recruited someone. I’m sure she will be a hit because Dave Aude did a club mix. CRAP. LeeLee - Looks Good On You: I love the theme of this one. Basically “Dude, you look hot.” With the whispery background vocals. Reminds me a little of Britney. I prefer the Wideboys Club Mix. The Cahill Club Mix has a little too much Dubstep slowing it down. I hope to hear more from LeeLee. Dynamix f. Andrianne Harkins - Don’t Want Another Man 2012: Why in the hell would they redo this one? The original is so much better. These vocals are weak and

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BLOOMINGTON, Ind.—The Kinsey Institute Juried Art Show has just issued their annual call for artists 18+. The show, which features art relating to sexual behaviour, gender issues, pregnancy, birth, eroticism, sexuality, the politics of sex and gender, romantic relationships, sexual health, and/or the human figure will be held on the Bloomington Campus of Indiana University this Summer. Artists in all media are welcome to submit their work. Submit online at https:// Deadline for entries is 6th February. To find out more about The Kinsey Institute visit or

February 2012 On The Web At:

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See You at

IOZZO‘S Indy’s Newest Oldest Italian Restaurant Originally Established 1930 Just 1 block South of the Stadium. Less than a 10 minute walk! 946 S Meridian St Indianapolis, IN 317-974-1100 Page 52

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Sheila's Column By Sheila Kennedy As the interminable GOP Presidential contest proceeds, I’m rooting for Rick Santorum. Now I realise that statement requires some explanation. With the probable exception of Ron Paul, all the other candidates can be counted on to moderate their current positions if and when they cinch the nomination — to pivot from the shameless pandering to the nut-job base that has characterised the primaries thus far — in an effort to woo the sane Republican and independent voters needed for success in a general election. Since the great majority of Americans don’t really focus on the Presidential campaign until a month or two before the election, candidates can usually distance themselves from much of their more intemperate primary rhetoric. A Santorum primary victory, however, would provide voters with a candidate who is steadfast in his extremism. A Santorum candidacy would be a golden opportunity for the public to really see and understand the fundamentalist Christians who, for all intents and purposes, now control the GOP, and who have recently come together to endorse Santorum in a (probably futile) effort to derail Mitt Romney’s progress toward the nomination. What do Santorum and his supporters believe? Well, there’s the obvious hatred of gays — a hatred that has often seemed more of an obsession with gay sex than a policy position. There are the well-known quotes comparing homosexuality to “man-on-dog sex,” the frequently repeated assertion that same-sex marriage will “destroy the fabric of society,” and the “slippery slope” argument that recognition of such marriages would necessarily be followed by legalisation of polygamy and incest. But it isn’t just gay sex. A cursory review of his quotations paints a picture of a man who — not to put too fine a point on it — doesn’t seem too comfortable in the 21st Century. Consider a sampling of recent quotes: “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country…It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” (18 October 2011) “In far too many families with young children, both parents are working, when, if they really took an honest look at the budget, they might find they don’t both need to…Here, we can thank the influence of radical feminism.” (From his 2005 book, It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good in which he decries working mothers). “All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis, they’re not Palestinians. There is no ‘Palestinian.’” (On the campaign trail in Iowa, 18 October 2011). Even the Israeli government doesn’t go this far! “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them someone else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” (Iowa again, 2nd January 2012). There are a lot more along the same lines. Santorum is a poster child for the small (but noisy) segment of American society that is still fighting science and the Enlightenment — a spokesperson for the contemporary Puritans who reject evolution along with the idea that liberty means the right to live your life in accordance with your own conscience and beliefs. They believe instead that liberty means “doing the right thing” as they interpret their bibles to define “the right thing.” They believe it is government’s job to legislate their version of “Godly” behaviour as well. You have to give Santorum credit: unlike the other candidates, when he’s been challenged about his controversial views he hasn’t evaded or backtracked. These are his beliefs and he’s forthright about them. He doesn’t “do” complexity or nuance and he obviously doesn’t see shades of gray. His views about the past may be ahistorical and retrograde, but he doesn’t let distractions like facts or evidence or humility shake his certainty in his own righteousness. He’s the perfect representation of today’s Republican base. Now, I don’t think Rick Santorum is going to be the Republican nominee, but what if he were? What if the American public had to choose between that “elitist” Barack Obama, with what the Tea Baggers say is his fancy Harvard education, and this anti-woman, antigay Christian Zionist who believes global warming and evolution are myths and black people are taking “someone else’s money”? Given the number of crackpots we’ve elected to public office, I’ve lost a lot of my previous faith in the wisdom of the American public. But I have enough left to believe that given a choice between the 14th Century and the 21st Americans would overwhelming choose the latter. Wouldn’t we??

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February 2012 On The Web At: Page 53

Food For Thought

Gossip Cats By Gossipcats Britain & Sydney

Damn, we pussies thought we could do all this by ourselves, but when we took the job we never thought Ted would be in hospital twice inside of three months, leaving us to really DO it! Anyway, he is on the mend, back out and now has healing spots on his right foot. Last time it was the left foot and they still don’t know why. He does know he’s glad to ONLY have two feet though and not be a centipede with all these foot infections!...OK, so what’s up in this month of love we call Valentine’s? Not too much from the looks and sounds of things, but some of you are still kissing and telling. One thing we got asked about when we went out recently was who is it that has the boyfriend we talk about here who is off and on more than our hallway light switch? Just like we told them, we aren’t able to say. We will, however say that we don’t know too many cases in which on again, off again ended up staying on long-term, so we cats suggest it might just be time to move on though heaven knows they ain’t listened to anyone yet... Speaking of moving on, we hear a very cute Indianapolis boy has moved on to a new dude in Ohio after his now ex decided to change his hair from something “normal” into a mohawk and then dye it all pink! We cats know there’s such a thing as making a statement, but it appears this one went too far with your man. The guy in Ohio, meanwhile, is lucky to have found this boy, so to him we say just keep up what you are doing and maybe he will stay with you. Oh, and skip the hawk and the pink hair dye, too, OK? That’s for sure gonna increase the odds... Speaking of skipping, Mother Goose from Cincinnati skipped Ted & Ivan & Anthony’s holiday party for some reason and they missed seeing him. Good thing Rusty came along. And also from Ohio, I-70 was busy as John G. brought along some wonderful homemade cookies, cupcakes and for some real dessert his hot boyfriend, Steve. All were eaten with equal satisfaction!... Speaking of satisfied, we hear you will be if you pop into Downtown Olly’s and see the cute new staffer who just joined Tim & Dean from Mo’s steakhouse. Meanwhile, Aaron, who was at Olly’s has headed east a few blocks and now is smiling at customers at English Ivy’s. That’s where he’s taken the place of a boy named for a river and who was so stoned on his last night of work (we know, because he waited on Anthony, Ted & Ivan among others that fateful evening) that poor Cindy had to deliver all the food and Craigy had to help to avoid a customer revolt. We won’t say his name but we will say “think Biblical” or closer to home on the IU Bloomington campus for the name of that river... Speaking of names, we won’t be naming one, but we do hear tell one club owner in Indy was made a really nice offer to rent the whole place out for the big football weekend and turned it down in search of yet more cash. It apperntly backfired as we pussies hear tell the place remains unrented as of a few days before showtime which proves that Ted’s dad was right when he said the bulls and bears get the profits and the pigs get slaughtered. Greed, folks, greed!... Speaking of the big game, we cats wanna welcome all of the visitors to Indianapolis. We hope to see you out in between all the other activities. Be sure to say hello if you see us and check out our reviewer’s suggestions for restaurants not to miss on right of this page... Speaking of on the right, it just would not be right (would it?) were we not to mention that English Ivy’s server Tyler has let his hair go back to it’s normal colour of blond. This great guy looks even cuter with blond locks, but it’s funny because everybody’s teasing him about dying it now, not before. What can we cats say save for the fact that some folks really DO come as natural blonds. Really!... And finally, speaking of really, to a certain Dayton guy it’s really not nice to let your ex think you are still single when you are again taken. If you want to move on, then it’s a good idea to be honest with the ex which is why they call them exes, right? Happy V-Day to all and see you next issue when we March on with more dish!

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By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher

Welcome to town all you guys and girls in for that game the NFL doesn’t let non-sponsors talk too much about by name. For this month I thought with so many visitors we’d give you a quick look at our fave gay owned restaurants. Note that these are our reviewer’s picks and there are several others so it’s not a complete list — just his list. If I were going to BREAKFAST (we DO occasionally get up early) I would try one of these... —Hoaglin To Go on Mass. Ave. in the 400 block has one of the better breakfasts in town, but be set to wait at least a bit as the quarters are cramped. Rob, Nic and crew do some awesome early morning treats. Be sure not to miss the lox plates, oatmeal and the PB&J sandwiches, just to name three we happen to like. The price for two will be about $20-25 though that can vary depending on what you have to drink and all the other variables. Be sure to save a few $ for the tips as the service here is usually great! —Downtown Olly’s on North Illinois Street is a bit of a walk from the main downtown hotels, but if you drove to town they have free parking. Two warnings: The place does allow smoking and they are a bar, too, so it’s not open to the under-21s, but if you can live with that Tim & Dean have a full hot breakfast (eggs, sausage or bacon and toast) for $1.99. There are many other choices and the place is open 24/7, so whenever you think of it, they’ll serve you. They do breakfast 6 to 10 (later weekends) and they also have burgers, appetisers, plate lunches, dinners and a real, no kidding graduate of the Chef’s Academy in the kitchen in the form of family-member Michael Parsons. —Cafe Zuppa is an easy stroll in the Chamber of Commerce Building on North Meridian three blocks north of the Circle. Randy & Paul have a great place for lunches also, and they plan extended hours for dinner till 9 p.m. game week, but we like the breakfast here best and the Sunday brunches, too, where you will spot half the gay community. Hours are from 7 a.m. weekdays but if you drop in Sundays between 10 and 2 everything you’d expect is served along with three soups (zuppa, afterall means soup) plus some really unique offerings including flat bread breakfast pizzas and desserts. OK, so let’s do LUNCH after we remind that all three of the above do serve mid-day meals, too: —Want something unique? Try 944 North Alabama Street’s English Ivy’s. This is a real neighbourhood blend of gays, straights, locals and a healthy dose of medical staff as it’s just a few blocks from the medical centre all wrapped up in a Cheers-like atmosphere owned by Chuck & John and run by manager Brock. They have grand food for lunch and dinner. Don’t miss Two-For-Tuesdays if you happen to get the chance. Appetisers are half price and the eight ounce (Yes, a real half pound!) burgers are TWO for the price of one all day — lunch and dinner. You can eat both yourself (or try to), share with a boyfriend, take one home or put both patties on one bun. Remember with them you get two sides (salads and fries included) so it’s a deal for $8.25 in total! Mondays are surf & turf at Ivy’s for dinner and they serve a weekender breakfast/brunch both weekend days which for $11 includes a fillet & eggs nowhere else can beat. They have a great staff, too, so hug the server and tip well! —If you want a more coffee shop atmosphere than anything mentioned thus far try Henry’s. Dan & Chris have three downtown locations — the main one on East Street just north of Mass. Ave’s gay area, and smaller branches at 1 North Pennsylvania and on Meridian at Maryland Street. They have some great sandwiches, egg dishes (try the breakfast on a bagel served all day) and a selection of pastries which changes daily. There’s also a nice, warm soup and an assortment of lattes and coffees. The locals can be found at the East Street one from early till late (there’s free WiFi), while the branches are more straight business folk and open from early till mid-afternoons. Finally, let’s have DINNER after we mention many of the spots already mentioned serve great food in the evenings as well... —Metro (707 Massachusetts Avenue) recently redid their restaurant side. The other half downstairs is a great quiet club with a huge bar bought from a long-demolished Lafayette hotel and the upstairs has a small gay & lesbian pride shop and features Karaoke Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10, but we’re talking food and owner Jim Brown knows more than a little about what should be on a plate. Fare ranges from typical bar food (try the wings, shrimp balls and the home-made chips) to fillets and daily specials. The meatloaf (when it’s the special) sells out fast for good reason — it’s good and Metro’s dining room is smoke free during food hours of 5 to 10 weekdays and Saturdays and 1 to 10 p.m. Sundays. Drop by for some good food and to see and be seen. Everyone from drag queens to well-known race car drivers who live in the area can be spotted on the stools and at the tables here.

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