What does Jesus have written on his testicles? OK, I'm not sure about this. Jesus might not have anything written on his testicles. But he does have something written on his thigh, at least if you believe the Book of Revelation. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:16 Here's what it looks like.
But since "thigh" is a biblical euphemism for testicle, it may be that Jesus has "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" tattooed on his testicles (or more likely, his scrotum). Wouldn't that be cool? I'll bet he has "King of Kings" on one side, and "Lord of Lords" on the other. He's the type. And it would go well with the rest of his outfit. And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns ... And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood ... And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron. Revelation 19:11-13, 15
Posted by Steve Wells at 6/06/2009 08:59:00 AM Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook Reactions: 18 comme nts:
Therine said... Hahaha. That's just awesome. (I want to ask what Mary Magdalene thinks about those tats but...no.) Sat Jun 06, 10:19:00 AM 2009 Brian_E said... Wow, that's scary. So on Judgment Day, you'll know it's Jesus if some scary fellow teabags you and you see writing on his sack. Got it.
Sat Jun 06, 05:38:00 PM 2009 busterggi said... Wonder if the Magdeline has a tramp stamp too? Sat Jun 06, 05:53:00 PM 2009 ecoute89 said... He will rule them with an iron rod. Is this a 'gigolo' reference of something ? Why a horse and why a sword. Why not a Harley Davidson and a shotgun like in Terminator 2 ? .......... far more scarier. Sun Jun 07, 04:31:00 PM 2009 matt311 said... Holy shit! The good Rev. has done it again, it seems... Mon Jun 08, 12:38:00 PM 2009 I Am said... Maybe this is the way to go when arguing with Bible-believers. "Did you know Jesus has a tattoo on his balls?" ("This I know, for the Bible tells me so!") If they protest that the mark is on his "thigh", then you'd just ask them do some research on the subject of the meaning of thighs in the Bible and the shared origin of the words "testament" and "testes". They might never view Jesus or the Testaments the same way! Wed Jun 10, 12:10:00 PM 2009 Salman said... you guys are rediculous...you talk of such nonsense about Jesus Christ. Thu Jun 18, 02:47:00 PM 2009 Steve Wells said...
But the nonsense is right out of the Book of Revelation. You believe in the Revelation, don't you Salman? Thu Jun 18, 04:45:00 PM 2009 Melissa said... You do not have permission to put materials from The Brick Testament on the internet. For example, do not put images from the Brick Testament on your own website, ftp site, blog, myspace page, youtube video, etc. Sat Aug 08, 04:26:00 AM 2009 Steve Wells said... Actually, Mesissa, I do have permission to use images from the Brick Testament on my blog and site. I've put a note in the sidebar to clarify this. Mon Aug 10, 11:09:00 AM 2009 RR said... I love this post... Jesus is coming back in style - with tats - and his posse! I can see it now! Think Vin Diesel. Thu Aug 27, 04:49:00 PM 2009 Simon said... Stop making me like the Bible, dammnit! Mon Nov 30, 04:27:00 AM 2009 dudeskeeroo said... If we use the acronym WWJD, surely the same could be applied to the tattoo: KOK LOL On his balls people, on his goddam BALLS! Wed Jun 09, 04:35:00 AM 2010
Mr Kay said... Most New Testament translations (including most Greek manuscripts) have Revelation 19:11-16 indicating Yeshua will have a "tattoo" on his thigh, as what follows: And I saw the heaven opened, and there was a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Trustworthy and True, and in righteousness He judges and fights. And His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns, having a Name that had been written, which no one had perceived except Himself and having been dressed in a robe dipped in blood - and His Name is called: The Word of hwhy. And the armies in the heaven, dressed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. And out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should smite the nations. And He shall shepherd them with a rod of iron. And He treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of El Shaddai. And on His robe and on His thigh (or "banner") He has a name written: SOVEREIGN OF SOVEREIGNS AND MASTER OF MASTERS. The idea that Yeshua would have a tattoo on his thigh or anywhere on His body is in direct conflict with Leviticus 19:28, which states: "And do not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor put tattoo marks on you. I am hwhy ." The following was taken from the Explanatory notes under "Thigh" in The Scriptures (TS98) version. It references the problem with Lev. 19:28 and a possible solution to the conflict. "Thigh: There is no record of any monarch having either his name, or his titles, written in his thigh for John to have come up with this phrase. Here we have a strong indication of Revelation originally being written in Hebrew. If this word was written in Hebrew, it would have been ragel. It's poss ible though, that the copiers of Revelation could have overlooked the small extension of the dalet (d), which would have made it a resh (r). If the word was dagel, it would have meant "banner", which makes much more sense than "thigh", because in the latter case two rules are broken: (1) In Way. 19:28 we are forbidden to make tattoo's on our bodies [Leviticus 19:28]. (2) A person whose thigh was exposed was considered naked. See Mk. 14:51, Shem. 28:42, Way. 16:4. When Revelation was copied it would have been easy to see the Hebrew "d" (d) as a "r" (r), if the former was not carefully written down. F.F. Bruce in the New International Bible Commentary p.1624 says that if one assumes a Semitic original underlies John's Greek, a copyist error might have replaced the Hebrew or Aramaic word for banner, degel, with the word for leg, regel. As the Hebrew script developed, the dalet and the resh, especially from around 700 BCE and onwards looked almost identical. It is also seems that Messiah, when he appeared to his followers He spoke Hebrew, even though they could understand Greek very well (Acts 26:14)." Fri Nov 26, 06:23:00 PM 2010
djl said... Dammit! He stole my idea. I was going to get that same tattoo but he beat me to it. I wonder if his tat shows up on the shroud of turin? lol Sat Feb 12, 09:05:00 PM 2011 jeffrey said... Well, you can read "The Great Controversy" by Ellen White and get even more confused about the situation of organized religion. Sun Mar 06, 07:37:00 PM 2011 No said... Could this tatoo be what catholic priests zealously look for when hiring a new altar boy ? Tue Mar 15, 07:27:00 AM 2011 Enenennx said... In case someone swings back through. There is a passage in Numbers 5 which uses "thigh turns out" - the passage concerns a trial by ordeal where a women's "thigh turns out" is the result of drinking a concoction if she is adulterous. Anyone have any ideas what "thigh" refers to in such a case? Thanks. Mon Mar 05, 10:35:00 AM 2012