NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER
I love this time of year! December is a month filled with love, gratitude, hope, and family. Although 2021 has been difficult for many, it’s this particular month that brings all together in celebration and joy. My Mom has always made the holiday season special, starting in early December. In the corner of our living room sat the biggest, most beautiful tree that twinkled in the dark with hundreds of sparkling lights and tinsel carefully placed one by one, in perfect order, dancing with joy as we walked by. Our home displayed holiday decorations in every room as we anticipated Santa’s arrival.
Founder of Maria Rea LLC StoryStrong Media Leadership & Self-Development Coach Story Strategist Transformational Speaker Harvard BLU Talks Speaker
On Christmas Eve, my Mom would read us Christmas stories by the tree in the hopes that Santa would come soon. She would share with us the birth of Jesus and what made Christmas so special. As I went to bed, I always thanked God for bringing us his only son and I was so grateful we could celebrate this amazing holiday. When I awoke Christmas morning, I would run down the hall to see what Santa brought for me and my brothers and sister. I loved Dolls, and although we didn’t have much money, I always knew that Santa, somehow, would see my letter and bring me the best, most beautiful baby doll I could imagine. And he always did. No matter how hard the year was, I could always count on Christmas day to be the most special day of the year; my Mom made sure. As I brought those traditions forward, raising my four children, I now watch as my children, with their children, continue traditions both old and new, right down to our original sweet rolls of dough spread on a cookie sheet heavily dowsed with butter, sugar, and cinnamon - the smell of home. This year, my Christmas wish is that we all find peace and happiness in our hearts. That we are able to leave what does not serve us behind for a better future and that we remember, love needs no money, and joy cures all hate in the world. As we end this year, may you all have a blessed and joyous Holiday and know that, no matter where you are in the world, with or without your family, that you are loved and supported because we as a nation stand united as one. Happy Holidays from our family to yours.
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MODERN WARRIOR MAGAZINE PUBLISHER • Maria Rea | DESIGN | CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Stacy Tisci | COVER | ON THE COVER • Olesija Saue COVER PHOTOGRAPHER • Kersti Niglas
| ADVISORY TEAM | Brittney Clarke Cat Knott Deanna Boyden
Laura Lake Dimitra L. Cook Lisa Beck
| CONTRIBUTING WRITERS | Olesija Saue Terri Lynn Murphy Nancy Bromley Scott McDermott Sarah Willoughby Laura Lake Kate Nguy Ellen Rogin JoAnn Wenner
Karin Brauner Dimitria L. Cook Brent Marchant Teresa Greco Debora J. Hollick Ileana McAra Randy Brown Rachelle Babler Elizabeth Hughes, MD Deanna Boyden
| CONTACT US | EDITORIAL • firstname.lastname@example.org SALES • email@example.com SUBSCRIPTIONS • modernwarriormagazine.com Modern Warrior Magazine/StoryStrong Media makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial, contributors, and will not be held liable for inaccurate information or placement. Any recommendations are for lifestyle puposes only. Any interpretation or use of information shared in this magazine is solely at the readers discretion. Modern Warrior Magazine is published by StoryStrong Media. Plymouth, MI 48170 | maria@StoryStrongmedia.com Modern Warrior | December 2021 7
CONTENTS ON THE COVER 10
DON'T TELL THE RIGHT STORY TELL THE REAL STORY
WRAPPING IT ALL UP WITH A PRETTY BOW
MONEY MINDSET 30
DO YOU TALK TO MONEY? PERHAPS YOU SHOULD
MOVIES IN REVIEW 40
ADVENTURES FOR TAKING 'ACTION!'
TEA - CUP READING 18
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NETWORKING IT'S ALL IN THE EYES
HAPPINESS IS HAVING AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
BE A DUCK
HEALTHY LIVING 20
HIDING FROM TROUBLE
SHIFT YOUR WORDS, SHIFT YOUR HEALTH
40 BLACK LIKE ME
WORDS CAN'T ALWAYS ARTICULATE
GIFTS OF THE SEASONS TURNING
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
HOLD THAT THOUGHT
CLOSING OUT ONE YEAR AND BIRTHING A NEW ONE
WHO I SEE IN THE MIRROR
FROM TRAUMA TO HOPE
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MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER
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Don't tell the RIGHT story. Tell the REAL story. Author | Olesija Saue | Tallinn, Estonia Photographer | Kersti Niglas | kersti.me
hether we realize this or not, we all come here, on this earth, to find “Love.” Sometimes we spend years or perhaps all our lives searching for this one “True Love.” The one true love that would make us happy and complete. The one true love that would give us wings so we could fly. We keep looking for the perfect match, but we often fail to realize that the love we came here to find is “Love for Ourselves.” The true love and unconditional acceptance of who we are, just the way we are; flawsome - awesome with all of our imperfections. And as the saying goes... "If you're searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror." I've always loved myself, or so I thought. I had always loved myself when I was perfect, friendly, beautiful, conscientious, polite, or correct. I loved myself when I achieved a lot, moved higher and higher up the ladder. I loved myself when I was best in class. I loved myself when I
closed a deal. I loved myself when my reflection in the mirror was all glammed-up. Still, in reality, I was only prepared to love a perfect picture, painted by an eager perfectionist who wanted to get the much-needed reassurance – you are enough – from the outside world. I was never satisfied. I never felt it was enough. I never felt I was enough. Internal inadequacy made me seek external confirmation and recognition. Perfectionism and the heightened need for achievement have helped me to get quite far in life. But its effects were very short-lived because one can always do better, achieve more, be more. Success is a lousy teacher, and we only learn from our failures. I know that from my own personal and harrowing experiences. I had to lose everything, and I mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, to find myself and realize that I am enough. To find that one “True Love” that would make me happy and complete.
My early career was like a rocket launch. In less than a year, I went from the HR manager position to the steel-galvanizing plant CEO, followed by establishing my own steel trading company. The business was flourishing, and the company was growing exponentially. I had everything I could possibly want. But then came the crisis of 2007/2008, and in a matter of months, I was utterly broke and massively in debt. I had nothing, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, left from my previously highly successful life. I had to start reinventing myself from below zero. I had to look inside. As I was looking inside myself, different emotions gradually began to surface and unfold. I had to face unfamiliar emotions and finally – my shadow, the opposite of my ideal Self – ugly, imperfect, and very, very scary. Going through fear, disregard, and facing this frightening Self, I reached acceptance, forgiveness,
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MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER compassion, integration, and ultimately, self-Love. I learned to love myself, just as I am – in all my imperfect perfection. Flawsome. To understand that I and my "sufficiency" were never related to my roles or external signs of success. “It's never about anyone else; it is always only about you." It didn't happen overnight, but as a result, I was finally able to embrace myself. To be truly grateful for all my life experiences – really and heartily appreciative. I am thankful for my real story, with all the very high climbs and even more painful falls. With all the "bad" feelings and genuine emotions, I finally discovered who I truly am and the hidden treasures that no one can ever take – our unique strengths, values, passions, and why. I also discovered that knowing who you really are, what you really want to do, and most importantly, WHY you want to do it, makes the most significant difference between true success and failure. And the biggest problem that most of us have is that we don't take the time to stop and look inside. As Carl Jung once said, "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside awakes.” During this journey, I have also gained the inner courage to start 12 Modern Warrior | December 2021
sharing my story with others. At first, quietly and with a trembling voice, one small piece at a time. And then the next time, a little more and a little bolder, until finally, I fully embraced my unique story. I've discovered that I can only tell my story boldly and clearly by getting to know myself and accepting myself just the way I am. That I need to tell my story in a way that reaches other people's hearts, touches them, speaks to them, and inspires them to look inside and discover the hidden gems that make them so unique and so precious. In retrospect, my most painful experiences have been my greatest hidden
blessings – and that is where my most extraordinary personal power lies. Owning your story and fully accepting yourself gives you wings. Over the years, I have learned to understand, appreciate, and be who I really am. All my life, I have wanted to inspire others to act. Now I know that to inspire others, all you need is to be yourself. To feel, accept and love yourself just as you are. By living life in harmony with our hearts and sharing our stories, speaking directly from the heart, we reach into others' hearts and inspire them to seek their uniqueness and passion, which
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MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER
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gives them wings and the freedom to fly high. The moment I realized this; my life changed. I found a way to make things work again as I became a twotime best-selling Amazon author and built a successful coaching and consulting business. But most importantly, I get to spread my passion and live my WHY, inspiring others to find their own uniqueness, passion, and why. I encourage my clients to take action and make the most of themselves by truly making a difference in their own lives and the world around them. As Howard Thurman has said, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Let others get inspired by how you do YOU, how you live your passion, deal with your imperfections, spread your wings, and fly high.
Owning our story and loving ourselves through this process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. There is no need to tell the PERFECT story to inspire others - just the REAL one. And once you do, your people - the right customers, right partners, and right employees will come to you. Because of YOU. Because of YOUR story. Don't wait for your hero journey to come to a happy ending before you are ready to tell your perfect story. You will never know what you are truly capable of until you make that very first frightening step. And you will never know who needs to hear YOUR story “right in that moment” until you decide to tell it.
Olesija Saue is a Personal Branding Strategist and Executive Coach, Social Media Strategist and Partner at Goal Social Media Marketing with 20+ years of experience in Sales and Marketing. Olesija helps corporate clients, aspiring start-ups and small-to-medium sized businesses stand out from their competition and achieve their business goals through the strategic use of social media and personal branding of CEOs and their employees. Olesija is a two-time best-selling Amazon author, and co-author of a book on Personal Branding, "The Brand Named You" (www.thebrandnamedyou.com) and holds an M.B.A in International business administration, is a AoEC Accredited Executive Coach and a member of the International Coach Federation.
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Author | Terri Lynn Murphy | Philadelphia, Pa.
hen my two sons were young, they had a professional go-cart which was a lot of fun for all of us. The engine was too powerful for them at first, so we put a limiter on the engine. Once the engine hit a certain point, it could not go any faster. The limiter stopped the engine from going to full capacity, and that is exactly how a limiting belief works. It holds us back from living our full potential. I went through years of living with circumstances that caused me deep, emotional pain many years ago. The painful situation was out of my control, and only by surrendering to God was I able to get through this pain and live a positive life. When that period of pain ended, my happiness increased, but I always told myself, “People say that ‘time heals all wounds, but my wounds will never heal because I will never get that time in my life back.” This limiting belief is what I believed for twenty-five years,
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not understanding the limits I placed on my own happiness and feelings.
Believe me when I tell you that I was happy. Anyone that knows me will agree with that. My pain was tucked down deep within, buried well below the surface, and locked tight. Had you asked me then if that pain limited me in any way at that time, I would have told you, “No,” only because I did not know the difference. Today, however, I’d answer that question with an affirmative. Through meditation and focus on ‘Letting go,’ I had an emotional breakthrough where I allowed my pain to surface. Once I changed my limiting belief and allowed my past pain to dissipate, I immediately began to feel more deeply. Our feelings are the language of the universe. Our feelings create our life. Although I did have a good life, and I felt grateful to God for carrying me through the pain, holding the pain inside with
that limiting belief really held me back. All the energy it took to live detached from those painful feelings stole energy from the present moment and minimized the energy I put into living. Once the pain was released, I felt so much energy. My feelings were heightened. Every emotion was intensified. This emotional upheaval was so very difficult to bear at first, but once I was able to let go, my life spiraled upward. My happiness level was over the top. My energy increased substantially. I felt truly free, and I wanted to shout from the rooftop and let all the world know the damage that limiting beliefs cause. Are you holding on to a limiting belief? Did you lose someone you love or lose a relationship and cannot let the pain go? Are you bitter about what someone did to you? Are you holding onto guilt for something you did? Do you tell yourself you are not good enough? Not smart enough? Not rich enough? Or just fill in the blank.
Give yourself a break! Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Look for the joy in life. I promise you the joy is there if you look for it. Our feelings are magnets. Do whatever it takes to set yourself free and believe that all is possible. What we believe shapes our reality. I believe we are all powerful creators and have the ability to do whatever we set our minds to. Once we make the commitment, the ideas start to flow. This life can be truly magical when our thoughts get out of our way. There truly is no limit to the power you hold within, and I wish you joy on your journey. All happiness to you. AUTHOR Terri Lynn is an international BestSellingauthor and happiness coach. Her intention is to share the benefits of putting happiness first. Her first book is Journey to my Soul, Following Divine Navigation. Her second book, 10 Minutes to a Happier You, Start Your Day in a Positive Way, launched as a #1 Best Seller on Amazon. Connect with Terri: www. thinkhappybehappy.com
Please, do yourself the biggest favor and let it all go. Set yourself free. We create our own prison when we hold limiting beliefs such as the ones above, and a limiting belief can hold back your happiness, and in some cases, steal your life. If you are here, you
belong, and you are good enough. You deserve the very best life has to offer, but you need to believe that in order to receive.
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MODERN WARRIOR | TEA-CUP READING
HOLIDAY This image is a solitary one, and that is exactly the message. It is a figure standing straight and tall, but the entire torso is a heart shape. What this image is asking us to do, is to nurture our hearts and reflect on aloneness vs. loneliness. It’s about taking some time to celebrate aloneness and to find space and power in aloneness. December is a season where we are often surrounded by more people than usual or bombarded with images of happy, together scenarios. If we do not find ourselves in that projected scenario, it can cause pain, disappointment, or loneliness. This tea-cup image is asking us
There are also two little shapes on the ground next to, but a little away from the figure. These are the things the figure has put down because they are not serving his best interest at the moment. It doesn’t mean that he can’t pick them up again when needed, but right now, he has put them down to look after his heart. Look around you. Are there things, situations, memories, ideas, or people that you are carrying that
you don’t need to right now in order to give yourself a little more space to heal? Take the time to be alone if you are surrounded by others and take the time to find the peace and celebration in “alone” if you are not. Change the narrative from ‘loneliness’ to ‘aloneness.’
AUTHOR Nancy Inspired has a mission in life to help others reach their soul's potential. Whether working as a school administrator, consultant or intuitive counsellor, Nancy seeks to empower those around her to rise. www.nancyinspired.com
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to take some time to nurture our hearts by finding places of stillness within the business; To find moments of celebration in aloneness. It’s both asking us to take some time alone and celebrate the possibilities in “alone.”
Author | Nancy Bromley Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
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MODERN WARRIOR | HEALTHY LIVING
HIDING FROM TROUBLE Author | Scott McDermott | Alberta, Canada
here are many ways that adults (and young adults) hide from things in our society. This can cover quite a few topics, from mental disposition to financial woes, but I am specifically thinking here about nutrition and exercise. Starting with a basic example: Hiding things or covering things up is a great practice in home construction, where nice siding covers up rough wood and building wrap. Paint covers up drywall mud, carpet covers
up pressboard, trim covers up joints in the walls and floors. It all works; it makes everything look lovely and hides what is underneath. People do this with their health, too. It’s not so lovely, and perhaps dangerous. 20 Modern Warrior | December 2021
Our society has had a few really big challenges in the past few decades that are getting worse and worse, and often what we are doing to handle them is hiding them with things I like to call ‘masking agents.’ One such problem is that we, as a general society, are sleep deprived. We do not sleep to the 7.5 to 8 hours per night; we really need to be healthy. We watch TV or play on tablets or our mobile phones at night when we should be closing our
eyes. We try to sneak in one more bit of information, work, entertainment, or see if our post got some ‘likes.’ Not only does the blue light from those devices work against sleep by keeping our brain wired to be awake, but it also eats up precious time. On a side note, you can turn down the
blue light to help with this, but perhaps that enables you to stay up later. When we do not get enough sleep for an extended period, we begin to develop anxiety when the brain doesn’t get enough recovery time. We carry more body fat because our body does not have sufficient time to de-stress and recover. Our appearance declines, with wrinkles, bags under our eyes, etc. Instead of getting enough sleep, people drink coffee in the morning and get through the
day, take medication to deal with anxiety, mood, and hormone issues, and add makeup to remove any evidence of the lack of sleep. Masking Agents. Coffee or caffeine is also used in fitness where people go on a crazy diet, eliminate whole food groups,
or eat way less than their body’s basic needs (500 calories per day, diet) in a desperate attempt to lose weight. This is when they rely on stimulants to get through the workout or the day. Pre-Workout was designed for Body Builders eating a super high protein, moderate fat diet, with very, very low carbohydrates that allowed them to reach incredibly low body fat percentages. The challenge is their energy also dropped drastically because they had no quick fuel in their body (carbohydrates are the primary source of fuel for our body and brain). Although the human body can burn fat as a fuel source, it is slower and requires more oxygen. Those diets lead to less energy to work out hard so ‘pre workout’ drinks and pills became essential and have now become mainstream popular.
even now that I am over 50. I eat amazing food, with a balance of proteins, fats, and carbs so that I have natural energy, and am getting leaner and fitter all the time. My clothes no longer need to hide my body as much as they did a few years ago.
Further, as we lose fitness and strength, we simply avoid things that challenge us. We sit more instead of standing or moving. Masking agents are the escalator or elevator instead of the stairs. I have been at airports and come up to a line of 30 or more people waiting to get on an escalator already packed with people. I prefer the stairs anyway and would just walk a few feet and zip down the completely empty staircase right beside the escalator.
I still have masking agents in my life, where I try to hide my shortcomings - I’m still working on the lack of sleep problem, but when it comes to health and fitness, I am doing my best to avoid that trap.
We are funny creatures, human beings; It is a survival mechanism of sorts. We are just trying to be ok, conserve energy, and carry on. I really think it is time to get rid of the masks and work instead on not needing them. I quit coffee 13 months ago and have never felt better! I work out every day so that I can be strong and vibrant,
I hope that you will join me! AUTHOR Coach Scotty - I am a trainer of over 23 years who has built and ran a 15,000 sq ft Fitness Centre from scratch. As a Trainer, Certified Coach, competitive triathlete, father, and former fat guy, I have a lot to draw from and share! Are you looking to be inspired? The documentary about my near-death crash at a race is here for you www. warriorcodefilm.com. I also work with people online to help them with nutrition and fitness. www.scottyfit. com Ready to look and feel better in just 21 days? www.wctdetox.com
Here’s the problem: some have as much as 10 cups of coffee worth of caffeine per serving! Preworkout is a masking agent for improper diet and lack of sleep.
Another problem in this area is gaining those dreaded 1-5 pounds per year that seem to come on as we age past 25. The masking agents here are usually baggier clothes that are looser fitting or stretchy to cover up years of neglect.
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MODERN WARRIOR | INFERTILITY Author | Sarah Willoughby | Melbourne, Australia Image by Alexas_Fotos on Pixabay
from TRAUMA to
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e can be forgiven for believing that the trauma associated with infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth ends the minute a healthy baby is born. But this often isn’t the case; the wounds run so much deeper. Every single day millions of women are carrying around an invisible backpack of suffering. We walk past them on the street, say hello to these women at work, or sit next to them at the cafe. They could even be our close family or friends. Yet, we only see the smiles on their faces, smiles that continue to mask years or even decades of unhealed pain, loss, and grief. For many years I tried to be stronger than I felt. This was both exhausting and unsustainable. I gradually stopped talking about my miscarriages to reduce the discomfort of those around me. But ultimately, this did not serve me. Deep down, I knew the silence surrounding my infertility needed to be broken. I trusted the guidance my soul was giving me and began talking and writing publicly about my heartbreaking journey to becoming a mum to three incredible children. This was initially confronting but also cathartic and liberating. Sharing my story enabled me to connect with people all around Modern Warrior | December 2021 23
MODERN WARRIOR | INFERTILITY
Reliving our painful memories is challenging, but I believe it’s necessary so we can heal and move forward. As I continued to reflect on my own life, it dawned on me that Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and secondary infertility had caused a mountain of guilt and shame. • • • •
Guilt that my first child was born two months prematurely. Shame that my body couldn’t conceive again. Guilt that when I finally did conceive, my pregnancies resulted in miscarriages. Shame that I ended up in intensive care staring mortality in the face after my first and only IVF cycle.
Having spent so many years dreaming about my future baby girl, once my daughter finally arrived in the world, I was worried she was too good to be true. I would watch her happily playing and pray she was here to stay. Some nights I felt overwhelmed by the sleep deprivation that all parents of young children face. 24 Modern Warrior | December October 2021 2021
Unfortunately, the immense gratitude I had for my second child was not always enough to quieten these negative thoughts. I felt guilty and even ashamed about this. I knew that there were so many other women that would have swapped places with me in a heartbeat. After all, I had been one of those women. Today my eleven-year-old daughter is a beautiful and funny young lady. She is caring beyond measure and melts my heart with her smile and gentle curiosity about life. As I look deeply into her eyes, she reflects all the wisdom that I spent years reluctantly acquiring. If not for her, I would not be on this amazing personal growth and self-discovery adventure that has taken me to places I could never have imagined.
Keep trusting the journey.
We can choose whether pain hurts us, or changes us for the better. - Sarah Willoughby
My daughter is also my daily reminder about the power of hope. If we surrender to it, the pain of infertility will not just hurt us; it will eventually change us for the better, even though we may not be able to see it at the time.
the world who understood what it felt like to have been completely broken. I was shocked and saddened by the vast numbers of women who had also kept their pain hidden for so long. When they realized they were not alone and felt safe to share their experiences, the floodgates that had been holding back their repressed emotions were finally opened.
Sarah empowers people to heal, love themselves, achieve more and transform their lives through her coaching, writing, speaking, and energy healing. Providing hope to anyone facing infertility or adversity, Sarah shares how she navigated through grief and trauma to be blessed with three beautiful children, who are her greatest teachers. www.sarahwilloughby.com.au www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-willoughby-2019 www.facebook.com/SarahWilloughbyAustralia
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Words Can't Always Articulate Speaking Beyond the Surface Author | Laura Lake | Halifax Nova Scotia, Canada
ack in high school, I remember my English teacher telling me I needed to work on articulating myself. This came as a shock to me! Pfft, and right after, I had just submitted a "very clear" 7-page summary of the Nancy Drew mystery novel I had just read. (Lol, yes, I did!) My vocabulary at that time was never very vast, refined, or explorative. It was difficult to determine which details were important and which were only filling in the gaps. The same thing was happening in my class presentations as well as everyday communication. I would pick out the things that were important to me and would forget about the rest. This would cause others to feel confused, overwhelmed, or even dismiss my message.
"There she goes over-explaining again. Couldn't you have said that in 1 sentence? I think what she actually meant went this..." It was frustrating to have so much intelligence stored in my mind but to feel so debilitated trying to speak it out loud. I got to the point where some things in life were too important for me 26 Modern Warrior | December 2021
NOT to speak up. So, since I didn't know what articulation meant, I went with my assumption that I needed to be more clear and concise with my words & word choices. The next 15 years were spent searching for "the perfect words" for each situation. Two of my favorite websites became Dictionary.com and Thesaurus. com, so I understood what words actually meant and how I could rephrase my thoughts. While these sites came in very handy (and still do), the effort of needing to find the "best way" to say something was exhausting! I found myself stuck in a trap of toxic perfectionism. It wasn't until a few years into my entrepreneurial journey that I realized what I was doing. My language may have been more clear & concise, but what really grabbed my audience's attention was how the words connected with them. It's one thing to communicate with words and quite another to communicate feelings through words. Back in 2016, I struggled to say things in my business that were
generally seen as personal. How could I share the value behind my work when I was hiding that part of me? How much was too
much? I didn't want to be seen as weak or unprofessional. It wasn't until I was asked to speak at MoMondays that I experienced the power of using words to express feelings vs. using words to share data.
feelings, and beliefs all come from the subconscious mind. If I wanted to change behavior, connect, and spread ideas, then I needed to communicate in a way the subconscious understands: feelings, visuals, and concepts.
Communication is meant to help us share thoughts, connect, and change behavior. (Yes, I just looked it up.) I was working on the conscious side by using pretty words, yet up until that point, I forgot that thoughts, behaviors,
Articulation had a whole other layer now. Targeting the subconscious root of why I needed to communicate helped me reprioritize what was important to both myself and the other person. After implementing
subconscious communication methods into my words, I saw that more people read the whole post, watched the video all the way through, and understood more of what I was trying to say. I felt more visible, more authentic, and more connected than I had since... wow, ever! Think of your favorite authors, speakers, influencers, and coaches. Do they speak to your mind or your heart? Do they add a personal aspect that helps to frame their message? Are they willing to share a bit of vulnerability to help you expand your thinking and level of hope? Are they clear and concise? Do you feel like you get to know them a little more with every piece of communication? These questions are meant to help you gain awareness of what works for you. Articulation isn't just about picking the right words for the job; it's addressing the root reason for communication in a way the mind will accept & process more clearly & concisely.
Laura Lake describes herself as a playful, luminary change-maker. She likes hiking, deep conversations, and nerdy cosplay. Solopreneurs hire Laura to help them confidently show up and courageously connect with their audience for heart-centered business that truly serves. LauraStartsWithB.com
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MODERN WARRIOR | HEALTHY LIVING Author | Kate Nguy | Edmonton, AB, Canada
CHRISTMAS RE-SET Tuning into Your Cycle to Navigate the Holidays
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The holiday season is a time of go-go-go. There are so many todo's on the list, so many people to visit, and so many things to remember. At times December can feel so magical with all the bright lights and holiday drinks, but then there are times where you drop on the couch at 9:30 pm and only think about all the things you ran out of time to do. This shift is not necessarily holiday burnout, but rather our cyclical energy trying to talk to us. Let's think of all the activity happening in December and relate it back to our hormone shifts. It's probably pretty normal to feel a bit like this; there are days where you are soaking up the holiday spirit and completely engrossed in all the activity, then there are days where you are itching to squeeze in one more coffee date with a friend rather than hitting the mall. Then hit the wall with a few days where you are overwhelmed thinking how much more there is to do, and then there are those other days where you are ready to crawl in bed and say no more! This is the cycle of the hectic holiday hustle! But when we really break it out and look at it, we can see so many similarities to our regular monthly cycle; it's just that it is enhanced by the high activity happening in our environment.
Remember, our cycle is asking us to be open to playing with the magic that each phase has to offer, so here is what is energetically happening each week and how we can match activities to these shifts to feel the joy of the holidays: • (Follicular) The week after bleeding, we are generally bubbling with new ideas, excitement, and energy. It is the time when we can start to outline all things we want to do and how we can step into the world and shine. This is a time at Christmas to hit the malls and buy all the things on your list. It is also a great time to do all the planning and arrangements that you need to attend to. • (Ovulation) Our second week, which ovulation is right in the center of, is when we are social and want to visit, celebrate, and mingle. This is a great time for Christmas parties and socialization. Let your hair down and go have fun. • (Luteal) Around the third week, we feel a pull of wanting to step out of the light of being social, and we are actually wanting to be by ourselves creating and dreaming. This is a great time to decorate your tree, wrap presents, mail Christmas cards, and do all your holiday baking. Put some music on and just be
in your creative energy. • (Menstruation) The last week of our cycle is usually the week of bleeding where we feel tired, drained and we need to hit a big pause button. My advice here is REST, REST, and REST. Watch some Christmas movies, stay by a warm fire and drink some hot tea. When we take a few days to nourish our body, we can really be in the flow for the rest of the month, and your body will thank you. So as we move through this holiday season, I invite you to get intentional with how you use your energy to feed your holiday spirit and really embrace the joy of the season. To get started, take note of your energy and what primary feeling is coming up for you. Map it out according to the 4 phases listed above, and then get playful with how you hit the holiday season with flow so that you are actually enjoying your month rather than being hit with Christmas burnt out.
AUTHOR Kate Nguy is a sacred womb and cycle educator, yoga therapist, and energy healer. She has a deep interest and enthusiasm for everything that has to do with the magic and mystery of the female body. It's her passion to bring ancient wisdom to the modern body for deep soulful healing and connection. She's the founder of Shee Revival www.sheerevival.com
So here is a clever way to reframe the holiday stress and
create balance by tapping into your cycle's wisdom to manage all the activities.
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MODERN WARRIOR | MONEY MINDSET
Do You Talk to Money? Perhaps You Should. Author | Ellen Rogin | Northfield, IL
ouldn't it be cool if you could talk to your Money and see what it had in store for you? Like having a Bat Phone to prosperity. What if I told you that you could? If you had told me when I started my career that I'd be channeling Messages from Money, I wouldn't even begin to understand what you were talking about. For most of my professional career, I've worked in the very "left brain" world of numbers, analytics, projections, etc. Starting as an auditor with a huge accounting firm, then going into the field of financial planning, working with people to help them reach their financial goals. I have lots of letters after my name and degrees to match this part of my professional background. In the traditional settings of economics, investments, and money, I had always felt something important was missing but didn't know what. I had a sense there was more at play when it came to Money than most people talked about. Soon after I founded my financial advisory firm when I was in my 20's, I became fascinated by how
people relate with their Money – their Money personalities, their financial decision-making, their attitudes, and beliefs about Money. As an advisor, I'd often say I could tell if someone was going to be on track with their goals without needing to know much at all about the specifics of their financial situation. I could listen to how someone talked about their goals and their life and just know. Of course, I backed up this knowing with projections and financial planning. The numbers always confirmed what I thought. A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to shift my career to do more public speaking, writing, and coaching - within the financial services industry as well as outside of it. Around the time I decided to leave my practice, I had a life-changing experience. I Talk to Money, and It Talks Back. I was at a Family Constellations workshop. The facilitator, Gary Stuart, led us through an activity where we partnered with another participant. The instruction was to have one person think about a goal they had relating to Money. I
stood behind my partner, James, with my hands on his shoulders while he thought of his money issue. When he turned around and faced me, I started to deliver a message to him; Only the words that came out of my mouth weren't mine. Here's what was said: "F*#! you for thinking that you can't do good work in the world and have me around. Like you believe there's something not spiritual about me. That's not true. It makes me not want to be around you at all." James stopped me, pulled out a pendant he was wearing, and said, "one of my clients gave this to me; it's the Patron Saint of poverty." And then he took it off. The response I gave was, "Ohhh; I feel so much better now. Now I want to be with you." I then stood next to him and held his hand to walk beside him. I actually felt like Money was talking through me, and the words coming out of my mouth were not mine. It was wonderful and, at the same time, a lot for my CPA, CFP® brain to take in.
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❤ I was curious to explore this more. I asked friends if I could work with them to see if Money had messages for them too. And Money did. People found the messages spot on, informative, and affirming. Their business and personal views of Money transformed. And, for many, the results were extraordinary. I reconnected with James several years later, and he shared that since our experience, everything had changed for the better financially in his business. He was bringing in clients with ease and making the Money that earlier he had only dreamt was possible. Since that time, I've worked with people around the globe to enhance their money relationships. Here's what I've seen over and over - Money wants to have a great relationship with us. It is an energetic force that is truly a force for good. People ascribe all sorts of meanings to Money – some helpful and much unhelpful. For most people, their relationship with Money is unexplored. What if you looked at your connection to Money like a personal relationship? Play with me on this. If you imagine you are in a personal relationship with Money, would Money want to hang around you? Do you say things like … • •
"I really wish someone else would deal with you." "You cause all sorts of problems for people."
• • •
"If I just had more of you, everything would be better." "I don't trust you'll be there for me." "You're too complicated for me. I just don't get you."
If you said these things to your partner consistently, how long do you think they'd hang around? What if instead you worked on your Money relationship and added more awareness, clarity, caring, and generosity? You’ll see very quickly that your feelings about money and prosperity will shift and quite possibly your results as well. Money wants to talk to you too. One of my favorite journal prompts I share in workshops is: Money, what do you want me to know? Give this a try. Sit down for 5
minutes, write this at the top of your page, set a timer, and keep writing. People have shared beautiful messages they receive from Money. Messages like, “I will always be there for you.” “I love you, and I’m excited about the work we’ll do together.” Imagine if everyone had a beautiful, healthy, generous relationship with Money. The best place to start is with ourselves. AUTHOR Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP® is coauthor of NY Times bestseller, Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality. An expert on living a life of success and prosperity, Ellen has appeared in many national print and TV media outlets, as well as on the TEDx stage. To learn more about enhancing your relationship with Money go to www. messagesfrommoney.com
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
GIFTS OF THE SEASON'S
Author | JoAnn Wenner | Minneapolis MN
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uring December, no matter where you live on the Earth, you will experience transformation. For some, it will be the turning from darkness into light at the Winter Solstice; for others, it will be the turning from light into darkness at the Summer Solstice. We are all in the grips of nature’s beautiful lesson in transformation. When we are patiently attentive, “there is something healing in the repeated refrains of nature,” and we are gifted with many images from the natural world to help us experience its lessons of waiting and allowing, of turning toward and turning away from what we’ve known. As I write this, I am a living witness to the wonder of transformation. Looking out my window, I see delicious swaths of Autumn’s colors and acknowledge their impermanence. Within a few short weeks, nature’s palette will once again begin to reflect the inward journey of winter as the landscape’s colors are muted. In all times of transformation, we are given a mighty lesson in patience. We cannot hurry things along but must wait for the unveiling of what still lies hidden from sight. It is not easy. And, sometimes, in hindsight, we find the time spent in waiting is itself the gift rather than what came after.
with a moment of awareness, sharing the gift of a smile or a gentle nod to someone hurried or seemingly vexed? Can we gift ourselves some quiet moments to check-in and take account of how we are doing, what we are feeling, and where we have need for slower time?
Over time, and although I feigned to hate it, I secretly enjoyed having this teacher all to myself. For after I was done writing “in stillness and perfect penmanship,” she would let me erase the chalkboard (so very satisfying!), clap out the erasers (so messy and releasing), and wash the chalkboard.
Over the next month, I hope you will have the chance to get outside somewhere on a clear night, stand under the stars, and absorb the hushed silence of the night sky. As you take this all in, know that as the world seems still, it yet turns; that somewhere a star falls, an owl hoots, and a child is born.
And so, as she patiently moved me into slower time, she provided me lessons in the breadth and width of patience, including the careful observation of my surroundings, the satisfaction of a job well done, and of a deeper way of listening. When I completed my tasks, I received the most enduring gift of all. She sat me down and spent some precious time talking to me as if I were someone interesting to talk to. These talks had an accumulating effect. Her gift of attentive listening provided me with a sense of the importance of seeing others and of being seen.
In this quiet stillness, feel your heart beating and your breath rising and falling. Take in the magnitude that despite some incredible odds, you have been brought here, now, to live in the place you are standing. Move yourself into a slower time as you breathe more deeply. Relax your shoulders, soften your face, and take in all the sensory beauty around you, both seen and unseen.
What have been your enduring lessons of waiting, stillness, and transformation? Over the next month, can we look for opportunities to practice slower time and stillness? Can we take a moment to see what is around us and within us? Can we slow down enough to greet others
Receive the gifts of this moment. AUTHOR Jo Ann Wenner, MS, MA-T is a holistic coach working with private clients, groups, and businesses. The deep well of her work comes from her ability to bring forth and facilitate Compassionate Conversations for a Courageous Life. She is an International Best-Selling Author, Master Teacher, Speaker, and Mom to Seven. http://www. prismholistic.com
One of my first lessons of waiting and its transformative gifts was in the 5th grade. Up to this point, I apparently exhibited little patience. I did not have the ability to wait. I was eager to have questions answered and to get on
with “it,” whatever “it” was. And so, the most difficult and relevant teacher in my young life often gifted me with the requirement of staying on long after the other students had gone home. I spent many hours with her writing 100 times, “patience is a virtue I must practice.”
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
New Year’s RESOLUTIONS Wishful thinking or Long-term change? Author | Karin Brauner Brighton and Hove, United Kingdom
ith the end of the year looming, our thoughts go towards the dreaded new year's resolutions. I've always been a bit of a rebel, so if you say I must do something, I might refuse or do it my own way. For example, the expectation at birthday parties (even my own) is to have some birthday cake. Perfectly nice and normal, right? Well, I have had a tradition for quite a few years where I won't eat birthday cake on the day of my birthday. I will save some for the next day, and then I can enjoy it. I don't do this consciously. I only figured out I was doing it when someone pointed out that I wasn't having any cake. So when New Year's resolutions come about, I flinch just as I do with the "mandatory" birthday cake situation. I'm sure I'm not the only one that finds these resolutions a bit hypocritical and laughable. I don't think many people keep those resolutions past the first day of the year, and I can't blame them. It's unrealistic to expect ourselves to radically change our lives once the year comes in. 34 Modern Warrior | December 2021
Now, don't get me wrong. We can change, but not in a matter of seconds.
you plan it out. Changing our lives overnight is definitely wishful thinking, but changing our lives is not impossible to do. We just have to think about how to get the effects to be long-term rather than a temporary fad imposed upon us by tradition and unrealistic expectations.
We have to change our mindset, work on making changes into habits, and believing that it's all worth the time and trouble. A couple of years ago, I decided that I wouldn't even attempt to write New Years' resolutions. Why? Well, because I'd proven that year after year, they hadn't worked for me and many others around me.
New Years Resolutions are unrealistic expectations. How, then, can we create space for change and for more realistic expectations at any time of the year, especially at this time when the pressure is on to tell everyone what you're going to accomplish in the new year?
It just frustrated people and led them to feel upset with themselves, resentful, and unhappy. I didn't want to live life that way, and neither should you!
Here are a few tips from my book, 20 Self-Care Habits:
Imagine you wake up on New Year's Day, without a single demand on your life but to exist, to live, to enjoy this new day and new year. Lots to look forward to, very little to regret as it's a whole new year.
• If it feels like you're sacrificing your peace and happiness because of outside demands, then reconsider and think about what makes sense for you to do: what will keep you in that peaceful and happy space?
How different would it be if you'd set a resolution to go running in the morning when you might be hungover, or just tired from celebrating, or staying up late? What about the commitment to start eating healthy all the time when you're most likely to be eating leftovers for the next few days?
• Consider these questions: 1. What will happen if you don't write down or state
2. How will you stand up for what is right for you if/when someone criticizes you for not having any new years resolutions? •
Reassess what's important to you and you alone. Think about how you live your life and what makes it yours. This will help you make realistic resolutions at this time or at any time of the year and find ways to plan out how to achieve them and effect long-term change in your life.
If anything, consider making resolutions that lead you to look after yourself, to be kinder to yourself. Expect realistic things from your time on earth, and make the changes you want in a timely, calm, and patient fashion, and you'll see longterm change in your life and say goodbye to wishful thinking. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
Can you see the difference? Of course, you can start exercising more or eating healthier foods, but you might need to start with a bit of research or even talk to your doctor or a nutritionist to help
your new year's resolutions: nothing at all.
Karin Brauner is passionate about helping people get on track – or back on track – in their personal and professional lives through practical tools and inspirational conversations in a variety of settings. Karin teaches tools that she's learned and developed throughout her own life. She knows how hard things can get, but also how great things can be once you move through to the other side. She now shares the knowledge she's gained, through various mediums, to show people a path to better self-care, support when processing their past, and working out their present so they can lead an improved life and thrive in their personal and professional relationships. Connect at karinbrauneronline.co.uk
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SACRE R U O R Y E V CO S I D Are up ready to get rid of unconscious money blocks and press reset on a fresh money story? Want to discover the secret behind creating money boundaries that increase cash flow? Are money blocks taking control of your life? Learn how to create your powerful money story. Start by eliminating lingering negative self-talk so you are free to make more without apology.
36 Modern Warrior | December 2021
ED MONEY ARCH ETY PES ® Learn what the 4 most dangerous money mindsets are and which one has been secretly driving you to over-work, under-earn or under-charge.
For a free 30 min consultation contact Maria Rea at maria.mariarea.com or visit mariarea.com
Maria Rea, your certified Sacred Money Arhcetypes Coach
Modern Warrior | December 2021 37
E E S I
MODERN WARRIOR | BLACK LIKE ME
R O O H R R I W M E H T N
Lately, I have been thinking about self-advocacy and how I learned to embrace my voice. Owning my voice is one of my most powerful character traits. Yet, sometimes, I struggle to recognize my power. I have a difficult time acknowledging my outer beauty and my inner beauty as a woman of color. To self-advocate for myself, first, I must look within. Selfreflection is the foundation of self-advocacy. Self-Reflection allows me to feel sadness and joy, disappointment and fulfillment. When a day arrives, and I can’t hear the positivity in my voice, I am sad. I have a hard time communicating. Self-doubt presents itself. To lessen the pain of self-doubt, I say affirmations. Affirmations are a powerful tool I use to recenter and align with my inner soul. In my book, 21 Reflections of the Inner Soul, I write about my kindergarten angel. She empowers me to advocate for myself. 38 Modern Warrior | December 2021
Author | Dimitria L. Cook | Greater Los Angeles area
Kindergarten Angel Many of us have had one of those “I don’t look my best days,” the “I’m ugly day.” Typically, I say my mantra, “I am beautiful. I am blessed. I am loved.” One particular morning, even though I say my mantra over and over, I am not making a connection with myself. My mirror work is important. Why? It takes me a quarter of a century to look at my face or body in a mirror. I have a block that I can’t break through at the moment. I am home feeling blah and unable to shake this emotional state of not liking what I see in the mirror. I don’t want to go to work. I want to crawl back into bed. I feel uncomfortable in my skin, and I want to cry. I don’t know why I am feeling this way. I do know I must power through the morning and go to work. I work for an elementary after-school program. One of
my responsibilities includes programming observations. Today, I decided to observe the youth and staff interaction during supper. During supper, youth receive healthy snacks. As I approach the area where the kindergarten group is eating, a little kindergarten girl walks over and stares at me. She looks up at me. Finally, she says, “You are so beautiful.” She doesn’t blink. I hesitate, smile, and say, “Thank you.” She says again, “You are so beautiful.” It’s as if she knows my morning internal struggle. Again, I say, “Thank you,” and ask, “What’s your name?” Her words struck my core. At this moment, her angels speak to my angels. It isn’t about physical beauty. What the angels need to tell me and what I need to hear are those words coming from an innocent child who does not pass judgment on me. A part of me is in shock and disbelief that I am hearing this little girl speak
the words that I so desperately need to hear. It is very emotional for me to hear this little girl say those simple yet powerful words, “You are so beautiful.” How does she know? Her words touch my soul.
Dimitria L. Cook is a ghostwriter, empowerment writing coach, keynote speaker, international bestselling co-author, and certified trainer. She is passionate about empowering women to align with their inner souls and move their memories to a memoir. Learn more about Dimitria and connect with her by visiting her Empowerment Writing Coach page. Dimitria enjoys writing plays, poems, short stories, visiting museums, and eating sushi.
Once home, I cry a flood of tears. My chest rises from short quick inhalations followed by
shallow exhalations as I recount that beautiful moment with my kindergarten angel. I return to the mirror in my bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, and I repeat over and over, “I am beautiful. I am blessed. I am loved.” When spirit wants to talk to you, and you are ready to listen, and receive the message, blessings occur.
Modern Warrior | December 2021 39
MODERN WARRIOR | MOVIES IN REVIEW
Adventures for Taking ‘Action!’
40 Modern Warrior | December 2021
Author | Brent Marchant | Chicago, IL
“Action!” It’s an expression synonymous with the start of filming during a movie shoot, the time when a film’s story begins coming to life. But it could just as easily be applied to the launch of any endeavor as it transitions from the idea stage into something more tangible. It’s a process that unfolds because those behind it believe in the viability of bringing the intangible into existence, an outcome made possible by the practice of conscious creation, the philosophy that maintains we manifest our existence by tapping into our thoughts, beliefs, and intents. Learning how to make this happen may take some effort, imagination, and inspiration, especially for beginners. Fortunately, there are plenty of resources available for providing that much-needed encouragement, and they can be found as close as your neighborhood movie theater. “Action!” is perhaps best depicted in the many adventure films released every year, particularly during the summer movie season. They depict this idea more literally than the offerings of other genres, and they often employ this notion on a grand scale. Superhero stories epitomize this perhaps better than any other type of movie, as their protagonists often take on ambitious ventures under challenging conditions. Such is the narrative in the recently released action-adventure “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” (2021), an origin story about a reluctant superhero (Simu Liu) and his struggle to Modern Warrior | December 2021 41
MODERN WARRIOR | MOVIES IN REVIEW rise to his noble destiny. But taking action is by no means limited to such obvious cinematic vehicles. It’s easily applicable to a wide range of other story contexts. For instance, standing up for the protection and welfare of others is a common movie narrative, and proactive intervention in these scenarios is one of its signature hallmarks. This is poignantly illustrated in two fact-based legal dramas, “Conviction” (2010), the story of a high school drop-out (Hillary Swank) who becomes a lawyer to overturn the conviction of her wrongly incarcerated brother (Sam Rockwell), and “The Mauritanian” (2020), the saga of a pro bono attorney (Jodie Foster) who undertakes the defense of a Gitmo detainee (Tahar Rahim) falsely accused of being a 9/11 terrorist recruiter – and who has been held without charges by the federal government for years.
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Taking action in the name of a cause is another recurrent movie theme, as seen in films like “The China Syndrome” (1979), the story of a nuclear power plant worker (Jack Lemmon) who seeks to blow the whistle about his facility’s significant safety issues; “The Insider” (1999), the fact-based story of a tobacco company chemist (Russell Crowe) seeking to expose his employer’s practices of intentionally making cigarettes more addictive and the 60 Minutes producer (Al Pacino) who fought to get his story aired; “Selma” (2014), a superb retelling of the efforts of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (David Oyelowo) and other civil rights activists to organize the 1965 march on Montgomery, Alabama to push for minority voting rights; and “Styx” (2018), the outstanding German-Austrian coproduction about an emergency room physician (Susanne Wolff) who goes on a solo sailing
vacation from Gibraltar to Ascension Island and encounters a sinking ship full of refugees who she wants to help, despite instructions to the contrary from uncaring authorities. Actively taking steps to improve one’s own lot in life is a laudable goal that turns up frequently on screen. So it is in two fact-based stories of the quest for personal freedom. In “Mao’s Last Dancer” (2009), viewers witness the courageous saga of Chinese ballet dancer Li Cunxin (Chi Cao), who risks everything to defect while on a cultural exchange program with a Houston dance company. Likewise, a similar goal is pursued by an East German family looking to escape to the West in 1979 by employing an unconventional means in the gripping drama “Balloon” (“Ballon”) (2018). Of course, improving one’s circumstances may not always
By the same token, we can also take action to achieve noteworthy goals, as seen in two fine documentaries. “The Ice King” (2018) tells the life story of Olympic figure skater John Curry and his quest to change the nature of the sport by incorporating greater artistic expression at a time when such gestures were frowned upon by less-than-tolerant peers. In a different but equally noble vein, there’s “Rebuilding Paradise” (2020), director Ron Howard’s excellent chronicle of the efforts of a small California town to come back to life in the wake of its destruction by a devastating wildfire. Taking action may not always be easy, but the effort is often well worth it. Having great ideas – and even believing in them – may be one thing, but a lack of follow-through on these notions can wipe out whatever merits or potential they might otherwise possess. So get busy and put
those visions into practice. After all, with the power of belief behind them, there’s no telling what’s possible. AUTHOR A lifelong movie fan and longtime student of metaphysics, Brent Marchant is the awardwinning author of Get the Picture?!: Conscious Creation Goes to the Movies, Consciously Created Cinema: The Movie Lover’s Guide to the Law of Attraction and Third Real: Conscious Creation Goes Back to the Movies. Brent also maintains a blog on his web site (www. BrentMarchant.com) and provides movie reviews for The Good Media Network’s Frankiesense & More podcast and Bring Me 2 Life radio’s Cinema Scribe podcast. Law of Attraction/Conscious Creation Goes to the Movies: www. facebook.com/groups/85775675542 Twitter: @Brent_Marchant Cinema Scribe on Bring Me 2 Life radio: https://bringme2life.com/ thecinemascribe The Good Media Network: https:// www.thegoodradionetwork.com
work out as planned, especially if one’s underlying beliefs are tainted by undermining considerations. This is not to suggest that things can’t or won’t work out, but some retooling of one’s intents may be required along the way. Such is the case in “After Hours” (1985), the story of a bored New York office worker (Griffin Dunne) looking for more excitement in his life – and the price he has to pay to relieve the tedium. Similar fates befall the characters in “Hard Pill” (2005), the story of a gay man (Jonathan Slavin) who’s unlucky in love and seeks to change his fortunes by enrolling in a pharmaceutical test program involving an experimental drug designed to turn individuals straight, and “Land” (2021), in which a woman (Robin Wright) who has suffered a terrible tragedy decides to escape her pain by taking up residence in the Wyoming wilderness, a venture she’s illprepared to handle.
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MODERN WARRIOR | INSPIRATION
is Having an Attitude of
Gratitude Author | Teresa Greco | Toronto, Ontario, Canada Photo Credit | JoVi Photography | IG@jovi11photography
ave you ever felt like things never seem to work out for you, and you have a grey cloud looming over your head that never seems to go away? Are there events outside your control that compound the problems you're already facing at work and in your personal life that make you feel like you can't catch a break? It can be easy for us to focus on the things that aren't going well in our lives. It can also be a habit to commiserate with others about how terrible things are at work or at home and how awful your boss, co-worker, or partner is. Perhaps talking about negative things has even connected you with others who also want to focus on things that are difficult. It is the "Well, if you think that's bad, listen to this" scenario, and the sad stories flow back and forth. Take a moment to reflect on how your body feels after you engage in these types of negative conversations, and you'll notice that you're left feeling unmotivated, uncomfortable, unenergized, and uninspired. If you stop and take a moment to think about how you feel emotionally after you've
44 Modern Warrior | December 2021
spent time focusing on your disappointments, you might notice feelings of upset, anger, resentment, and frustration. Our body is letting us know that it is time to realign ourselves and spend time reflecting on what is going well in our lives. The more we recognize the blessings in our life, the happier and more fulfilled we will feel. Gratitude is directly correlated with Happiness. Gratitude is a Key to Happiness "Gratitude shows you that the grass beneath your feet is greener than you think. Gratitude teaches you that Happiness is always now," writes Dr. Robert Holden, the author of Happiness Now. The more grateful we are for everything in our life, the happier we feel inside. I make it a point every day to acknowledge and say thanks for the many blessings in my life. The opportunity to wake up and live another day is the most basic blessing and cannot be overlooked. The moment I open my eyes after a night's sleep and realize I am alive to experience another day, I am blessed. How many people would appreciate the opportunity to rise from their
beds, healthy and pain-free, and begin living this new day?
up on the wrong side of the bed' mornings.
Every day is a fresh start. I have a body that is strong and allows me to move in many different ways, a mind that is intelligent and eager to learn new things, and a spirit that is serene and light. I make a choice to not have any 'getting
If I have a few minutes before I rise from bed, I will meditate and set my intentions for the day. I set the intention to share my love with others and make a positive difference in the lives of the people I will touch that day.
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MODERN WARRIOR | INSPIRATION
do this through mental reflection while doing physical movement (such as yoga) or writing in a journal. At the end of the day is when I make time for my gratitude practice. Every evening before I fall asleep, I recite all my blessings. I go through all the things I am grateful for as a way of telling the Universe that I want to invite more of what makes me happy into my life. Thinking about what you love and appreciate helps to attract more of these blessings into your future. Notice how you feel right after doing this practice. Even the smallest blessings will leave you feeling a sense of Happiness.
Some days I practice saying positive affirmations, repeating the 'I am' mantra, and inserting the adjectives that I need to hear. 'I am smart. I am healthy. I am beautiful. I am abundant. I am provided for. I am amazing.' I also recite the words, "I expect miracles today." This statement places trust in the Universe to 46 Modern Warrior | December 2021
show you miraculous things, things that you could not imagine happening to you that day. Other days I use the words, "Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today," from Pam Grout's book Thank and Grow Rich. These phrases set up the day for God, Spirit, the Angels, or whatever you like to call it, to show you miracles in your day. Assign time each day to think about your blessings, big and small, and give thanks for their presence in your life. You might
I plan to avoid negative people and situations that will draw my energy. Instead, I try to surround myself with people who make my spirits rise and help me feel good about myself and the work that I do.
Teresa Greco is the author of the book Steps to True Happiness, and the coauthor of the best-selling books The Decision to Heal: Pathways from Suffering to Love, and Business, Life, and the Universe: Vol 4. She is an educator and educational technologies consultant with a master’s degree in Education from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She is the editor and senior writer at two Canadian lifestyle magazines. Teresa is also a happiness coach and the radio host of a weekly show called “The Steps to Happiness Show with Teresa Greco.” You can follow Teresa on her Instagram page @teresagreco_stepstohappiness and Facebook page, Steps to True Happiness with Teresa Greco. You can also connect with Teresa by visiting her website, www.teresagreco.ca, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org about speaking engagements, workshops, and services.
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MODERN WARRIOR | INSPIRATION
DUCK! Author | Debora J. Hollick | Calgary, Alberta, Canada
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y youngest sibling is funny, witty, and wise. She comes up with the best lines that not only make me laugh they are full of practical and, while sometimes odd, great advice. One of those such lines is "be a duck." Are you wondering what is so great about that? What is so practical and wise in her instruction? A little back story will help. I can't fully recall exactly what we were discussing, nor do I want to, but it had something to do with family dynamics. As I'm sure with most, if not all, families, from time to time, there are differences of opinion, and hurtful things are said that are just hard to let go of. So, we stew over them. We analyze and replay the perceived scenarios over and over again. Often, past memories and issues arise that we now decide to include for good measure, and we wonder why anyone would say these things to us, especially another family member! Sound familiar? You, too? We discussed the situation (she was not the injuring party), and I expressed my thoughts and feelings to her that I was confused, sad, hurt, and, more likely than not, a bit angry. She is a very good listener.
the way you did. Perception is everything.
ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON AND SPECIAL OCCASIONS!
Let us put our best foot and thoughts forward, doing our utmost to cradle with care - the self-esteem of others. Let's endeavor to do this, not only during what may be considered one of the happiest times of the year, by some, but always.
"Be a duck. Just be a duck," she says. In other words, just let it glide off your back — no need to carry it further.
Will we always be successful at it? For most of us, likely not, but any improvement in our behavior toward others will be helpful.
Fall is coming to a close. As we embark upon festivities of the season with family and friends, it is important to remember that while some may be full of joy and excitement, others may be struggling through challenging times.
One never knows the impact we might have on another human being just by leaving them with a feeling of being seen, heard, and whole, regardless of the circumstances.
Why is considering others such an important act? Not only is it the kind and respectful thing to do at any time of the year, it could also have a direct effect on how the person on the other end perceives their value and worth. Simply put, it is the right thing to do. Have you ever felt that someone berated or belittled you in some way, and then you experienced a feeling of unworthiness? It is important to note that our self-esteem has a great impact on our choices and decisions. This is true even though they may not have meant to make you feel
Put down those heavy burdens. They do not serve you or anyone else in a positive light. You don't want to drown under the weight of it all, so… BE A DUCK! AUTHOR Debora J. Hollick, The Smash Through Mentor, is an Intuitive Consultant, Coach, Speaker, International #1 Best Selling Author - Helping professionals “smash through” barriers, keeping them from enjoying their full potential. Her clients say, “It feels like, receiving a warm, energy hug while also receiving a gentle kick in the pants!” She is also the founder of Live Life In W.O.W! Wonder~Openness~Wisdom – watch for more on this, coming soon! https://www.insightfulsolutions.com/ https://smashthroughmentor.com/
It was more than obvious to her that I was allowing the remarks to affect me and how I felt about myself. After all, would we not all most likely prefer our family members to like us and treat us kindly? Even if we don't agree or even understand each other's viewpoint?
She knows me very well and understands that I am sensitive. She is a great mediator and always tries to be fair, considering all parties concerned. She shares her thoughts wisely and then manages to lighten the mood while providing sage advice.
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Hold That Thought Author | Ileana McAra | Arizona
few years ago, I was in the middle of a phone conversation with a colleague, and the person on the other end suddenly blurted out, “When I’m about to fall asleep, I keep seeing myself alone in a dark room. I think it’s our basement where I grew up.” Pause. “Doesn’t matter,” he said, ready to change the subject. “Hold on,” I said. “What you’re trying to skip over could be the main thing.” And it was. That conversation opened up forgotten memories and made sense of important triggers in his life. That conversation was life-changing for him, but also for me. That’s when I realized that the things, we tend to ignore could be the key to our entire healing journey. As I’ve worked with clients in my healing practice, I see this again and again. When certain memories are vague - such as a line in a song, a three-second mental video, or the pattern on old wallpaper - you might assume they are trivial. Don’t fall into that trap, especially if you’ve been experiencing them for a length of time. 50 Modern Warrior | December 2021
For more than thirty years, while I was in the shower, images would zip through my mind - mostly the bathroom of the house we lived in when I was a little girl. When I got out of the shower, the images went away until the next time. I dismissed them as unimportant and forgot them until my work
with a therapist brought up a repressed memory of when I was molested at age 6. The series of events began in that childhood bathroom. I never told a living soul, as though by not telling it would make it not true. The mind tucks painful things away until you’re ready to address them. These memories bob below the surface, playing peek-a-boo, waiting for a chance
to show up for resolution. Holding them down takes valiant effort that can drain your energy and have a negative effect on your relationships. Sometimes people avoid self-care because of a lingering fear that getting quiet for meditation or even a nice long soak in a warm bath will allow those submerged memories to come up. This is the ego’s attempt at keeping you safe. However, the ego is often misguided about what is best. Instead of tamping down those old memories, maybe you are receiving signals that you are ready to release the charge around them. Emotions only last for about 90 seconds. When you allow them to come up, give yourself permission to express them and stay with them until they dissipate. Most of the time, childhood memories that seemed horrific at the time will not feel nearly as scary as an adult. If you have deep trauma like I did, reach out to a professional who will sit with you as you process them. In my own journey I suffered for decades, afraid that once I opened the dam of grief and suffering, I would be overwhelmed. When the time came, the process wasn’t nearly as dramatic as I had imagined.
Ileana McAra is a spiritual healer helping clients quickly and easily dissolve the painful past for a brighter, happier future. For more information visit www.LanaMcAra.com.
Give yourself the gift of allowing those things to surface. Resolve childhood stories. Let those vague memories go. You will be so glad you did.
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MODERN WARRIOR | LEADERSHIP
IT’S ALL IN THE EYES Author | Randy Brown | Fort Dodge, Iowa
n March of 2018, I was invited to a social at the West Des Moines, Iowa campus of Des Moines Area Community College. The event was CiWeek 9, a unique, annual collection of world-class speakers defined by innovation, Inspiration, mastery, and history. It's difficult to explain the collection of brilliance and talent at this event, and I, fortunately, was in the middle of it. Highlighted as one of the speakers was Kenny Aronoff, legendary rock drummer, who would deliver the evening's presentation. I knew of Kenny's reputation, but in doing my research on him, I was blown away by his accomplishments. People ask me now, "Who has he
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played with," and I laugh. The question should be, "Try to name one major artist that he hasn't played with." That is a shortlist!
Kenny was named one of rock's top 100 drummers by Rolling Stone magazine. Recently Drummer Magazine published its 60 best rock drummers, and Kenny was high on the list along with names like Bonham, Moon, Baker, and Peart. Because of my insatiable love for music, I wanted to meet this guy. I spotted him at the social and walked right up to him, introduced myself, and spent the next 20 minutes talking to one of rock's greatest performers. For some reason, we hit it off like grade school buddies and
exchanged contact info. His performance was phenomenal as he mixed his speaking message with live drumming, including his famous drum fill in the Mellencamp song, "Jack and Diane," and his contribution to many #1 hits. The most pivotal thing he told me that night was the highlight of my experience. When I told him I mentor young coaches and teach them the art of networking, he lit up. Kenny then shared one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard for building a strong and deep network. Because of his status in the entertainment business, Kenny knows as many people as anyone. He knows the movie industry and
its people. He knows the recording and producing side of music and its people. He knows rockers, managers, roadies, and record company executives. The list goes on and on. So curious about how he has built this coveted network, I asked him how he does it. He hesitated and looked at me, extending a hand. I shook his hand, and he looked me in the eye and shared this incredible nugget with me. "Randy, when I meet someone, I shake their hand and look them in the eye like I can see through them. What I see are a 1,000 people, and they are people I don't know…yet. Those people are now people I'm connected to because of one handshake. I was blown away, and this remains the most powerful networking skill I teach and use myself. In any pursuit in life and career, it behooves us to ask questions and be curious. Whether we are talking to someone like Kenny, or someone low on the totem pole, you never know who they know that someday can be an instrumental piece of your strong and deep network. To the "hardest-hitting man in show business," I say thanks to Kenny Aronoff, my friend! AUTHOR
Randy Brown is an Energetic Speaker, International Author, Influencer and Networking Expert. Former NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Coach. Enjoyed over 40 years of helping all people create the “comeback of a lifetime.” Find me here; https://linktr.ee/rbspeaks
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MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
BIRTHING A NEW ONE
How to set intentions for a magical year
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Author | Rachelle Babler | San Diego, CA
all has always been my favorite season for many reasons; the changes in the landscape, traditional holidays, cooler weather, and closing out another year. It is also the time when we start to say goodbye to the current year and welcome a new one. I used to be that “New Year’s Resolution” girl - creating a laundry list of what I was going to do in the upcoming new year. My list usually included all the things I didn’t do in the current year (or the year before, or before and before), and year after year, I would set myself up for failure. Checking off maybe 3 of the 20 things listed, and it wasn’t until my 40’s that I realized my expectations were beyond ridiculous. It was during this time that I ditched the list and went to having one ‘word’ for the year. When I did this, everything shifted for me. The pressure was off as I was more intentional and focused on what that year would embody instead of the race to check things off, just because. A word that would keep me focused, grounded, and bring me back to my “why.” So how does one find that word
when there are so many to choose from? Well, as the year closes out in December, I’ll do a few things. Meditate and visualize all the things I want to see happen in the coming year. Set aside some downtime to set intentions on what it is I want and what the ‘theme’ of the year looks and feels like. And in doing so, that beautiful and magical word will usually show up for me about a week before the year is going to end. Journaling out the year is certainly a big part of helping me find that word as well. I have been journaling since I was a little girl, and it’s weird because no one ever taught me how to journal or even why one journals, but it all started when I got a cute little ‘diary’ as a birthday gift. I will never forget the crisp, clean sheets, beautiful cover, and lock and key. That one gift gave my soul a huge gift and would be the start to many years of journaling and sharing what was going on in my world. I remember many times being grateful for that little diary because what I shared in it; I couldn’t share with anyone else. It was the one place I felt that I could fully express myself with no one making fun of me, criticizing me, or laughing at me.
To this day, I still journal about some of the same things I did when I was a little girl. Boy issues, family, my friends, challenges, things I was proud of, work, and things that happened in my dayto-day that I wanted to remember or just get out of my heart or mind. Journaling and ‘pen to paper’ have been a huge part of my growth and evolution, and it’s been fun to read some of my older journals and all the chapters in my life. Do you create a New Year’s resolution list to set intentions for the year? Or maybe you chose a word like I do? Or maybe it’s something else? Whatever it may be, it’s what works best for you and not what others may have conditioned you to think you need to do. We are the only ones that know what works best for our souls. As we ring in a new year, may you set goals beyond your wildest dreams, may you look at each year as a beautiful evolution of growth and wisdom, and may you step into the new year with an open heart to receive all that you so truly deserve. Cheers to intentions and the gift of a new year.
Rachelle Babler grew up in Southern California near the sunny beaches of San Diego and has always been an avid explorer, traveler, musician, and creative soul. At the height of her career in forensics, she quit her job cold turkey to pursue her 'why'... TO empower people to express themselves with their stories SO THAT they can heal, inspire, and give others permission to do the same. Whether it's supporting clients to connect to Podcasts for guest appearances, those who want to get clear on their "idea worth spreading" for the TEDx stage, or those who want to share their story through music, Rachelle has helped hundreds of clients amplify their voice so that they can inspire, educate, advocate, make positive changes and create movements! www.rachellebabler.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachellebabler-038952176/ https://www.facebook.com/rachelle.ljosdalbabler
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MODERN WARRIOR | HEALTHY LIVING
Shift Your Words, Shift Your Health Author | Elizabeth Hughes, MD | Seattle, WA, USA
uman beings hate to lose. Whether it’s a job, car keys, a game, or even your train of thought, it doesn’t matter how important or how trivial the thing you’ve lost; the sensation of losing never feels good. So what happens when you have
something undesirable, like extra weight, that you want to lose? Or a chronic illness that you want to get rid of? Guess what: That same uncomfortable feeling that you have about losing your wallet can be triggered on a subconscious
level. Your intellectual brain might say, “I want to lose weight,” but your deep subconscious will only hear the word “lose” and scream “NO!” You can end up sabotaging yourself, despite your best intentions. So what to do? Start with this counterintuitive step: Don’t identify with your illnesses or undesired health condition. When you think about medical conditions, you probably think of the medical condition as something which defines you or is integral to who you are. Using high blood pressure as an example, if someone asks you about your health conditions, you probably will respond, “I am hypertensive,” or “I have high blood pressure.” The keywords here are “I am” and “I have.” Things that you “are” and “have” are important to you, perhaps even essential. Things that you “are” and “have” form the basis of your self-identity. You don’t want to lose something that you are or that you have. It feels like losing part of yourself.
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Subconsciously, loss of something you “are” and “have” feels like a threat to your wellbeing, even when the something you want to lose is the actual threat to your wellbeing. It’s a crazy paradox that can keep you stuck in chronic illness. Instead, think of your undesirable physical conditions as something you are experiencing. Experiences come and go. They are transitory by nature. Feeling queazy after riding a rollercoaster, or being chilly, or getting drenched in a sudden rainstorm are unpleasant, but they all fade. And your subconscious knows that they fade. Even pleasant experiences, like a special vacation or a fabulous meal, do not last forever.
Instead of saying, “I am diabetic,” say, “I am experiencing diabetes.” Far from being deceptive, describing common physical conditions as experiences is more accurate than using the word “chronic.” “Chronic” implies permanence and incurability, which, as I’ve discussed in previous issues, simply isn’t true for the vast majority of common medical conditions. I know this point may sound trivial, but words matter. The words you use to describe yourself, whether you speak them aloud or repeat them silently in your head, define your reality. By thinking and talking about illness as an experience rather
This year, as you make your list of health-related New Year’s resolutions, add one more resolution: think about your health conditions in an entirely new way. It’s an easy switch that can make all the difference in meeting your goals.
AUTHOR Elizabeth Hughes, MD, is a dermatologist, inventor, author, and health coach with an outsidethe-box approach to health and wellbeing. You can download her; Self-Healing Secrets Guide at www. ElizabethHughesMD.com and learn more about her skincare products here: www.BeyondDermatologics.com.
You don’t define who you are by an experience. And that makes it is easy for your subconscious to let the experience go.
So, instead of saying, “I have high blood pressure,” say, “I’ve got some issues with my blood pressure at the moment.”
than part of what makes you; you, you open the door to the possibility that the situation can change. You make it easy for your subconscious to outgrow the experience and leave it behind.
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MODERN WARRIOR | SELF-DEVELOPMENT
it all up with a
TIME TO REFLECT ON 2021 AND ALL IT BROUGHT
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Author | Deanna Boyden | Calgary AB, Toronto ON, Palm Springs CA
hope you are reading this while snuggled up in your favorite chair, with tea or hot chocolate in hand and perhaps a fire nearby. I hope you are reading this because you have found a few quiet moments amid the business of the holiday season. I also hope you are reading this with gratefulness for the year we are leaving behind. 2021 was many things. I've heard it described as everything from the greatest time to a dumpster fire. From my perspective, it had moments of both. With only a few days left in 2021, what are you going to take forward with you from this unique year? Finding the quiet moments to reflect on the year behind and plan for the year ahead always prove blissful to me. I'm a planner. I love planning. I think it's because I grew up in a house that didn't seem to have any visible roadmap that I love to make sense of the chaos of possibilities that lie ahead. I'm a big believer in 5-year plans but let's face it, it's the 12 months behind us and the 12 months ahead of us that make the most difference. As you look back on 2021, it's good to review your notebook and calendar.
The next thing to do is to consider the items that you didn't get done in 2021. We all have those tasks or projects left undone. This is the perfect time to reconsider them and their priority in your life. Will they still serve you? Should you put them into your 2022 plan or put them on the shelf for now? It's the perfect time to make a decision on this and not just automatically move them to your list. If you put them on a shelf, there is no guilt. Making a decision not to do something can be just as powerful as deciding to do it. The next thing to do before starting your 2022 plan is to review your values. Values change over time and circumstance, so it's a great exercise to go through annually. Determining which values you currently prioritize is very important if you want to fill your calendar with the things that matter. It starts with grabbing a list of values online (or reach out to me for a free version). This is usually a list of about 30 values. You first read through the list and circle the ten that resonates with you the most. Then you go through those ten and pick the Top 5, then you go back and pick your Top 3. This exercise shouldn't take long, but it helps you gain clarity quickly on what matters most. I think you may find it interesting to see how values can shift over time. Many
of us have seen more changes in values through the pandemic the past 2 years. Finally, it's time to put together your list of 2022 goals and tasks related to the Big 5, no matter what order they fall for you (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances & Fun – more on those in January!). Once you've done that, it's a fairly straightforward exercise to schedule the tasks related to each one over the course of the year. Don't forget that your yearly plan is not something you set and forget. You should be following this plan every week to ensure you are making the most of every day, doing the things you NEED to do and the things you WANT to do. If your calendar reflects your values and a life you want to be living, then you can sit back and enjoy that fire, knowing 2022 is going to be a wonderful year ahead. AUTHOR Deanna Boyden is an accomplished business leader and coach. She assists entrepreneurs and real estate investors grow both their life worth and net worth with her approach to living each day to the fullest. If you want to grow your mindset, focus, strategy and execution including a solid 5-year plan to freedom, visit www.deannaboyden.com
Reflect on each month, and if you haven't already, record your successes for each of those months. Write them down and take a moment to celebrate them. Celebrate the person who achieved those wins and give
yourself a high five. It doesn't matter how big or how small the wins; each holds importance to you, so celebrate that.
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Christmas can't be bought at a store. Maybe christmas means a little bit more.- Dr. Seuss
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MODERN WARRIOR | CONSCIOUS LIVING
HAPPY HOLIDAY from our home to yours
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