Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she turned into a butterfly.
NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER
W
elcome to the October issue of Modern Warrior Magazine. It is such a pleasure for me to be able to bring inspiration, empowerment, and transformation to your lives. Every author of Modern Warrior has a deep desire to captivate, influence, and make a real difference in the lives of those reading our magazine. So please enjoy. Life can be a little crazy sometimes and, in the world today, we could all use a little more encouragement and perhaps some clarity on how we can improve our lives. That’s what Modern Warrior magazine is about—creating real change to improve your thinking, your awareness, your attitude, and your actions. It’s easy to say, “just live your best life” or “don’t let it bother you,” but the reality is, oftentimes, it is not as easy as it sounds. Recently I ran across these 5 Rules for life, and as simplistic as they are, they made me stop and think. What if everyone followed these simple five rules? Would it, could it, create change? I think they could, so I thought I would share them.
5 Rules for Life 1.
Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything; give it time. 4. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 5.
Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them; you have no idea their journey.
Life really is a journey and where you are today is not necessarily where you will be tomorrow. Improving who you are and how you think will improve your life and the lives of those around you.
6 Modern Warrior | October 2021
So, what do you think? Are you willing to implement these five rules into your life? I have, and let me tell you, when you can make peace with your past, not pay attention to what others think of you, knowing that you are doing the right things, allowing for time to heal, focus on happiness, and live a judgment-free life – You Win! You live a life of freedom, free to be exactly who you are meant to be. Have a magical month
Publisher of "Modern Warrior" Magazine Founder of StoryStrong Media Leadership & Self-Development Coach Story Strategist Motivational Speaker Harvard BLU Talks Speaker mariarea.com Like us on Facebook
Publisher
Editor Creative Director On the Cover Cover Photographer Advisory Team Advisory Team Advisory Team Advisory Team Advisory Team Advisory Team Editor Sales Subscriptions
Maria Rea
Maria Rea Stacy Tisci Rachelle Babler Tru Photography Brittney Clarke Cat Knott Deanna Boyden Laura Lake Dimitra L. Cook Lisa Beck submissions@modernwarriormagazine.com maria@storystrongmedia.com modernwarriormagazine.com
Contributing Writers - Rachelle Babler, Janet Key, Sue DeCaro, Courtney Erickson, Scott McDermott, Angela Morris, Brent Marchant, Dimitria L. Cook, Elizabeth Hughes, Lisa Beck, Nancy Bromley, Sarah Willoughby, Terri Lynn Murphy, Michelle Borel, Kate Nguy, Jo Ann Wenner, Karin Brauner, Deanna Boyden, Ileana McAra, Debora J. Hollick, Dayna Hammond
Modern Warrior Magazine/StoryStrong Media makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial, contributors, and will not be held liable for inaccurate information or placement. Any recommendations are for lifestyle puposes only. Any interpretation or use of information shared in this magazine is solely at the readers discretion.
Modern Warrior Magazine is published by StoryStrong Media. Plymouth, MI 48170 | maris@StoryStrongmedia.com
Modern Warrior | October 2021 7
CONTENTS LEADERSHIP 24
TWO BIG LIES HOLDING YOU BACK
PARENTING 18 9 TIPS TO FREE
YOURSELF FROM PARENT GUILT
18
CONSCIOUS LIVING 48 SUPPORT COMES TO THOSE WHO ASK
10 ON THE COVER 10 Rachelle Babler
FUELED BY FAITH
HEALTHY LIVING 34 BEATING
MEDICAL ODDS
8 Modern Warrior | October 2021
54
YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY
MONEY MINDSET 16 RECLAIM YOUR
SACRED POWER
MOVIES IN REVIEW 28 MOVIES & THE
JOURNEY AHEAD
28
40 EMPOWERMENT 20 WHO AM I? 26
THE POWER OF PERSPECTIVE
40
WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES
46
MOVING THE NEEDLE FROM BROKEN TO EMPOWERED
50
A CHANGE OF SCENERY
56
CHANGE - THE ATTITUDE JOURNEY
58
WHERE ARE YOUR CHOICES LEADING YOU
BLACK LIKE ME 32
MODERN FEMALE WARRIOR
36
SELF-DEVELOPMENT 36 LOVE YOURSELF MORE
42
10 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR HAPPINESS
44
THE JOURNEY OR THE DESTINATION
52
MINDSET, MONEY & MAKING IT HAPPEN DURING DIVORCE
TEA CUP READING 38 A LITTLE FLOCK OF DRAGONS
Modern Warrior | October 2021 9
MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER
10 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Fueled By Faith Author | Rachelle Babler | San Diego, CA Photo Credit | Tru Photography | San Diego, CA Photo Credit | Buffett Photography | San Diego, CA
O
n August 7, 2018, I sat beside my beloved sister and witnessed her take her last breath after a 2 ½ year fight against Colon Cancer.
transitioned, I sat down and started writing with the pen that seemed to be on autopilot. I have
In that moment, my heart was crushed, and a part of me died. She was my best friend and one who had been an anchor for me for many years, and now, she was gone. As I sobbed tears of pain, I isolated myself to process it all. Crying, screaming, anger, immense sadness that I never knew could be felt. I remember laying in my bed, not knowing what to do, but my years of personal development work gave me a little intuitive drop. "Write." So, I started writing. The day after my sister
Ra che lle
wn Bro a Bable t i n r and Sister, Jua
done many 'mind dumps' in my journals as part of my daily routine, but this was a 'heart dump.' Pouring out what was in
this shattered heart of mine and putting it into words.
What came out was a recollection of memories of my sister and who she was. She was a fighter. An advocate. A warrior. Strong. Loyal. Fueled by her faith in God and she was supposed to beat this but didn't. As I continued to write, my words of pain turned into healing and a story - her story through song. Music has always been a part of my soul and me. When I was little, I sang in the church choir. In high school, I sang in the vocal ensemble. In college, I sang at Karaoke bars belting out any 80's rock tunes. I never thought of myself as the best singer, but I just loved to sing. Into my adult years, I not only continued singing but playing guitar and writing music. As I continued to write and
Modern Warrior | October 2021 11
MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER process my loss, I ended up writing a song that was my interpretation of my sister's cancer journey. I started scrolling through social media, looking through her posts, and taking some of the words that she shared with her many loyal followers who closely followed her story and valiant fight. As I read her posts, I sobbed even more but was incredibly grateful I had such an incredible person in my life who had been with me since day 1. My father was Norwegian and my mother Peruvian - we had Viking/ Inca blood in our genes. There is an ancestral strength in my family, and we didn't go down easy. As I continued to write, I wrote out 90% of the song but was stuck. So, I headed over to my dear friend and guitar instructor's studio to finish it. I had to. This was healing, cathartic, and the part of me that died when she passed began to feel a little less traumatized. Why? I didn't know in that now moment, but something powerful was to come. My guitar instructor and I finished her song and sang it at her celebration of life. It was beautiful. We published the song in the hopes of raising money for colon cancer awareness. Little did I know what would unfold during a global pandemic. As with music, advocacy has always been a part of me as well. Shortly after high school, I became a paramedic, advocating for the sick and injured. About six years later, I changed careers and turned to forensics. 12 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Rachelle with her children Austin & Camryn
In that capacity, I would analyze evidence that would be presented in court, advocating for truth, and in 2008, I had my own journey of self-advocacy. I was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor and would then find myself advocating for answers, truth, treatment, and more. Music and advocacy - these are two incredibly powerful ways to use your voice and to share your message with others. During a global pandemic in 2020, I was sitting at my desk thinking about how I could use my sister's story through music to help advocate for colon cancer awareness.
She had passed away from colon cancer at the young age of 48. Her diagnosis was caught late and ignored initially because of her age. After her diagnosis, she became an advocate for early detection and screening, which saves lives. As someone who supports Modern Warrior | October 2021 13
MODERN WARRIOR | ON THE COVER
clients with outreach and their TEDx idea to expand their brand, message, and audience, I decided to do the same for myself. I created a lyric video of my sister's song, called "Fueled by Faith, in which I shared her story and incorporated colon cancer statistics and facts so that others would watch it and get screened. The response I received from my colon cancer groups and organizations was incredible, and through this, I found my "why." "TO empower people to express themselves with their stories, SO THAT they can heal, inspire and give others permission to do the same." In addition to outreach, I will take the TEDx stage in October of 2021 to share my "idea worth spreading," advocating through music. My beloved sister's legacy will continue. Her story will help others. Her story will inspire others. Her story will save others. Her song will be in their hearts, and I will now be shifting my work to help others in this capacity. The part of me that died when she did has slowly awakened and is now on a mission to create a movement in a different way.
Happy Bir
14 Modern Warrior | October 2021
, Juanita
om Her Sister
Rachelle Fr thday Note to
I feel you near me, sis, and will continue to feel you every step of the way. I love you. xo
AUTHOR
BIO
Rachelle Babler grew up in Southern California near the sunny beaches of San Diego and has always been an avid explorer, traveler, musician, and creative soul. At the height of her career in forensics, she quit her job cold-turkey to pursue her 'why'... TO empower people to express themselves with their stories SO THAT they can heal, inspire and give others permission to do the same. Whether it's supporting clients to connect to Podcasts for guest appearances, those who want to get clear on their "idea worth spreading" for the TEDx stage, or those who want to share their story through music, Rachelle has helped hundreds of clients amplify their voice so that they can inspire, educate, advocate, make positive changes and create movements! Rachelle is also a#1 International Best Selling Co-Author. www.rachellebabler.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelle-babler-038952176/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachelle.ljosdalbabl
Modern Warrior | October 2021 15
$
MODERN WARRIOR | MONEY MINDSET
Reclaim Your Sacred Power Unlock Your True Self With
I
'm often asked, "What are Sacred Money Archetypes?"
First, it's important to refresh our memories with a little context: What is an archetype? At its most basic form, an archetype is a symbol for a type, model, or pattern of behavior. Archetypes are found most commonly in stories. Examples include The Nurturer, The Lover, The Rebel, The Hero. Sound familiar? Now, if you've guessed that Sacred Money Archetypes involve archetypes about money, you'd be right: Sacred Money Archetypes symbolize the unconscious beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns we have about money.
But that's just the beginning. They also symbolize our money strengths –the beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns that act as our natural gifts or talents. For example, because one of "The Nurturer's" strengths are giving, they embody the gift of generosity and give amazing value to clients. Taken together – the conscious 16 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Sacred Money Archetypes
Author | Janet Key | Creston, British Columbia, Canada
and unconscious challenges and strengths we have with money we can use this awareness to align with our inner confidence, increase our self-worth and attract more abundance into our work and life. In this way, becoming aware of our Sacred Money Archetypes go so much further than just symbolizing our earning and spending habits: they are the keys to unlocking our highest potential. Knowing our Sacred Money Archetypes also connects us to our divinity. When we are clear about our life's purpose, see value in our natural gifts, and feel a sense of self-worth, we are more likely to free ourselves from our fears and self-imposed limitations and have the courage to take inspired action. In this space, we are in alignment within ourselves and so act from a place of integrity. By tapping into this inwardly-aligned power, we allow ourselves to be in a flow state, and we are better connected to intuition and universal guidance. This energy is "sacred."
This fearful external focus on money prevents us from becoming aware of our true value and self-worth. Instead, we are left feeling depressed or empty and in unhealthy relationships or unhealthy bodies. These emotions and situations reflect a lower vibration and keep us in a disempowered state, ultimately blocking our connection to the flow of intuition and sacred energy. For example, when we are out of alignment, we are likely to say "yes" when what we really want is to say "no." Being untruthful with ourselves like this creates weak boundaries that do prevent negative experiences but also block our hearts from giving unconditionally. When we are aligned to a higher vibration, we can create firm but flexible boundaries that honor us. And instead of blocking our ability to give from the heart, we can open to love and embody more of that love. But there's good news!
Unfortunately, we too often give away our sacred energy.
Start by asking yourself these questions: • • • •
What are my divine gifts and talents? How free am I to share them? What do I need to let go of to align to my sacred power? What do I need to embrace?
Knowing our Sacred Money Archetypes can help us reclaim our sacred power. They are key to unlocking our inner potential and opening us to our sacred power. These archetypes guide us to understand our unique gifts or talents and expand our self-awareness. When this happens, we are empowered to take courageous and inspired action. As we come to know ourselves, we consciously move through our fears and move towards the light that is within each and every one of us. Are you curious to know your Sacred Money Archetypes? Take the free assessment at www.janetkey.com. BIO
Janet Key is a Soul Alignment Coach who helps spiritually led women discover their sacred power by guiding them to work through their money wounds so they can free themselves to share their gifts and talents while fulfilling their soul's purpose. Align with Janet on Facebook and Instagram @prosperouswomancoaching
AUTHOR
We do this when the pursuit of money is driven by fear. This can include fear of losing power, possessions, or our sense of self. Also, we are motivated by fear when we seek approval outside of ourselves or when we spend money to avoid feelings of shame, blame, guilt, and judgment.
If we've given away our sacred power or are out of alignment with it, we can always reclaim it.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 17
9
MODERN WARRIOR | PARENTING
Tips to Free Yourself from Parent Guilt
H
ow do we define motherhood? Typically, it looks different for every mother; so, why do we constantly use the term “Good Mom” if motherhood takes a different style on each wearer. Raising children is hard. It is even harder when we hold
18 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Author | Sue DeCaro | Hilton Head, SC
expectations for ourselves as to what it means to be a mother specifically a “Good” mother. Our standards are often so high that we cannot possibly live up to our own expectations. When we don‘t meet such expectations, we then judge ourselves, feel bad, and perhaps experience guilt. We become so deeply affected by
all the institutions surrounding us — educational institutions, religious institutions, cultural institutions, among others. Whatever we subscribe to is conditioning our lives. We default to the standards of our conditioning and external societal pressure.
Setting high standards for ourselves is not helpful. It creates a pervasive feeling of not doing enough. Oftentimes these standards foster a sense of not parenting “right” or create a sentiment that we are “messing up our kids.” These are all experiences I have heard from clients and experienced personally. Free yourself of mom guilt, dad guilt, or parent guilt. Whatever hat you wear, question who is dictating, how you wear it and how well you’re wearing it. Yes, this is easier said than done. However, here are some tips to free yourself from this indoctrination:
it pass through without bringing judgment to it. It is what it is— a bad day. 7. Don’t “should” on yourself; that only brings more guilt. 8. Be realistic with what you can and cannot do so that you don’t put added pressure on yourself. 9. Know that just being with your children is the most
important thing and everything else (i.e., laundry, what kind of cereal is in the pantry) is secondary. Ask yourself how you can embrace motherhood and leave guilt on the sidelines. You owe to yourself to find a way to let go of some of the expectations you hold for yourself.
BIO
AUTHOR
1. Don’t listen to people who are preaching what you should and should not do. Tune out any outside noise. 2. Tune in to your own wisdom of what you know to be true right now. Do what feels “right” for you and your family. 3. When you feel triggered and guilt creeps in, try to take some time to do things that energize you — time for yourself to release these feelings and know you are doing the best you can every day. 4. Know you are enough just as you are (and so are your kids). 5. Reach out for help. Talk to someone you love and trust who won’t push their own expectations on you. Go for coffee, go for a walk, or just have a conversation to help you move through the guilt. 6. It is ok to have a bad day. Try to acknowledge it and let
As a heart-centered worldwide coach, educator, International Bestselling Author, and motivational speaker, Sue DeCaro is focused on conscious living and parenting, and helping her clients navigate life’s daily challenges. To learn more about Sue visit www.suedecaro. com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/ in/sue-decaro/ Online Courses: https://www. suedecaro.com/all-courses/
Modern Warrior | October 2021 19
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Who Am I? Allow me to introduce myself.
20 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Author | Courtney Erickson | Chippewa Falls, WI
I
have been the young woman looking for love in all the wrong places, giving away pieces of my heart, body, and soul to those who don’t deserve it. I have been the crazy girl, utilizing our broken mental healthcare system in search of answers to the brokenness inside of me. I have been the girl who hates what she sees in the mirror, scrutinizing every inch of my body, starving myself in an attempt to achieve what society calls; Beauty.
I am now the woman who is learning that true love comes from within; I no longer need to seek external validation from those who won’t give it to me anyway. I am now the woman who is learning how to prioritize self-care and learning how to care for my mental and emotional health. I am now the woman who looks in the mirror and sees inner beauty realizing that physical attributes are superficial at best.
I am the woman who is confident in her body, even when the reflection staring back isn’t society’s ideal. I am now a strong single mother of four beautiful blessings that the Universe has entrusted in my care, and I strive to give them all the love that I sought as a young girl. I am now the woman in recovery from my addictions, shedding light on the stigmas, reaching out my hand to all those who still suffer.
I have been a teenage mother struggling to raise my children. I have been a child myself, unprepared for the responsibility bestowed upon me. I have been a junkie, strung out, desperate for my next fix. I have been a battered woman, broken and beaten at the hands of those I thought I loved. I have struggled to survive, living paycheck to paycheck, unsure where my next meal would come from or if I could even afford gas for my car to get to work. I have been a lost and scared young woman, searching and hoping to find something to believe in. And yet, through all this pain and confusion and through everything these different women have endured, I have become someone new. So please, allow me to reintroduce myself; my name is Courtney. Modern Warrior | October 2021 21
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
that I needed from professionals; I sought help for my addiction, domestic violence counseling, medical help for my mental illness, and help with parenting (kids don’t come with instructions - but that’s a whole separate topic!). I joined a 12-step program and surrounded myself with friends and family. I have built a tribe of people whose vision aligned with my own and who were supportive of my goals and endeavors.
I am healing from my wounds, learning to stand up against misogyny, injustice, and calling out red flags when I see them. I will never allow another man to put his hand on me. I advocate for survivors and share my truth without fear or shame. I am now the woman pursuing my education as a future social worker aspiring to help others who have been where I was. I am now a confident woman, who knows who I am, one who believes in the light and love of the Universe, and who has transformed the pain of the past into a beautiful future. We all have the power to reinvent and reintroduce ourselves to the world. The beauty of this is that at any time we find some facet of ourselves or our lives that is not working for us, we can always fix it. The problem is that so many 22 Modern Warrior | October 2021
people believe we need to get rid of our past “junk” in an effort to heal and become someone different, but I don’t believe that. I believe that the past has a purpose, all the hurts and pain are lessons, steppingstones, and if nothing else, they taught me that I never want to be there again. Rock bottom was the foundation that I built my life on. Many times in my life, I believed I would never be anything other than lost, afraid, and alone. I used my pain to find something to believe in. I sought the help
I have learned that a big part of my resiliency is being able to accept who I am and that the challenges I face are not permanent. Life is not perfect, and challenges are inevitable, but I choose to see life as a journey, and I have a choice in my journey. I choose to live my very best life! BIO
AUTHOR
I am now the woman who will not tolerate abuse of any kind.
The work of reinventing myself is an ongoing process as I continue to work on my trauma, my relationship with food, and being a single parent to four children of varying ages and needs. The undeniable reality is that life will present me with new challenges and new obstacles each day and in each season of my life.
Courtney Erickson is a Life Coach, Speaker, Empowerment Advocate and Certified Parent Peer Specialist. She is an advocate for the disadvantaged and passionate about seeking empowerment for all. She courageously lives her life and shares her testimony to uplift and encourage survivors of all kinds. In sharing her own lived experience, she empowers others to find their inner voices, speak their truth, and live their best lives. Courtney lives in Wisconsin with her four children and is currently a full-time student pursuing her passion for social welfare and empowerment. To have Courtney speak at your next event contact her at courtaerickson@gmail.com
Modern Warrior | October 2021 23
MODERN WARRIOR | LEADERSHIP
Two
Big Lies Holding You Back
T
he first big lie is that you always need to be Disciplined. Some people think that success only comes from a never-ending marathon where every action must be disciplined, and control is the solution to everything. We are humans, not robots, and this attitude never succeeds on its own. Success for any one goal needs to be a sprint that is just long enough for a HABIT to kick in! It is, in fact, habits that get us to success, despite disciplinary or motivational lapses.
24 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Author | Scott McDermott | Jarvis Bay, Alberta, Canada
We need just enough motivation and discipline to get a habit to form and become easy and routine, and that is the magic trick. People always think I am very disciplined, training for triathlon every day, but to me, it is just a habit. I started with a big goal in 2004 for a race set 10 months later, which got me into training enough that it became a habit. It was exactly the same in the late ’90s when I went from fat to fit. I entered a 12-week challenge and had enough discipline to last for the 12 weeks; by then, it was a habit - A lifelong habit.
I am by no means disciplined; I just have lots of habits that I have learned over time that all get me to my goals. If you can simply set up a beneficial habit that gets you to your goal, it will appear that you have amazing discipline! I have a habit that I swim, bike or run every day. I also have a coach that writes my training on a calendar, and then I just do what I am told every day – that is my habit; it just looks like discipline. In 2009, a University in London did an extensive study on how long it takes for a habit to
truly form. After many ways of testing, the average was 66 days. Meaning a 6-week challenge (42 days) is therefore 20 days short, so be mindful of the trap of losing the benefit of the kick start by sliding off the map after coming so close!! Lie number two is that you need to always have Willpower.
There are a few factors that contribute to your Willpower. Have you ever heard of the marshmallow test? It is a test that was done 50 years ago by Professor Walter Mischel with a large group of 4-year-old kids. One child at a time was put in a room with an adult and handed a marshmallow on a plate. They were told that the adult was going to leave the room for a bit, and if they could wait and not eat the marshmallow, they would get another marshmallow. One in three kids could hang in there and wait to get another marshmallow, but most kids just devoured the first one. When studied later, the kids who waited (had self-control) were massively more successful and scored higher on SAT tests by over 200 points, etc. This test really puts into play one of the biggest challenges with Willpower – which is that
environment is usually stronger. Sitting in front of a marshmallow puts a kid at a huge disadvantage, just like trying to eat well and be healthy when you have a house full of junk food. In the face of your biggest temptation, your Willpower may not be up to the task – so setting up your environment is key. This is also how boot camps and classes work so well – the environment is perfect for your goal of being fit and healthy! The other key part of Willpower is that it has an energy level, like a battery charge. When you
start the day, you very likely have the highest level of Willpower, and as the day wears on, that ‘charge’ reduces. As your day goes on and tests your Willpower or mental ability, you start to lose Willpower. By the end of the day, you are far more likely to skip a workout, eat junk food or choose something that does not serve you. Be disciplined long enough to form a habit and know that Willpower requires a beneficial environment. Happy Training!!
BIO
AUTHOR
The problem with this is that Willpower is not always ‘on demand’ like Netflix or electricity. Willpower comes and goes, and many things affect it.
Coach Scotty - I am a trainer of over 23 years who has built and ran a 15,000 sq ft Fitness Centre from scratch. As a Trainer, Certified Coach, competitive triathlete, father, and former fat guy, I have a lot to draw from and share! Are you looking to be inspired? The documentary about my near-death crash at a race is here for you: www.warriorcodefilm.com. I also work with people online to help them with nutrition and fitness. www.scottyfit.com My Main Website www.warriorcodefilm.com The Award winning, Family friendly, Inspiring Documentary. www.wctdetox.com Ready to look and feel better in just 21 days?
Modern Warrior | October 2021 25
The Power of Perspective
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Author | Angela Morris | Edmonton, Alberta Canada
I
f you had told me two years ago that I would be addiction-free, 50 pounds lighter, writing for an incredible magazine, and running a business, I would have told you that you were full of sh*t! Some days I sit here in awe just thinking about how much my life has transformed and how grateful I am that God never gave up on me. That sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Well, it certainly is, but try accomplishing that while going through menopause and raising four kids. One of which has his own addiction he is
26 Modern Warrior | October 2021
recovering from. Some days I wonder how the heck we parents/ caregivers do it!? What I have learned along the way is that there is no rule book on raising kids, having a life, a marriage, and a career. Never mind adding coping with your own issues into the mix. The overwhelm with just that thought is a lot to take in, and trust me, you are not alone in feeling like you don’t have your sh*t together. Total transparency;
sometimes, I wonder how I am even able to stay sober. Don’t let the pretty pictures fool you. I almost died fighting for this life. It’s in these times of trial where I have to remind myself why I started this journey and why I desperately needed to outgrow the spaces where my comfort zone held me prisoner, for nearly two decades. There is no “one method” that will work because each person is their own unique, beautiful
masterpiece. What works for some will not work for others. Whether you are battling addiction, motherhood, depression, anxiety, and/or stress, you can get lost in the abundance of advice from others. Especially on social media. Have you noticed that nowadays everyone has an opinion on how to do pretty much everything? I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted trying to mimic someone I am not. Honestly, once I stopped caring about the judgments of others (kids included) and I stopped rushing through life, I was amazed at how much more life I actually had time for. If there is one thing that I can attest to, it is that challenges will always arise, but we have the choice of how we respond. I believe it is all about shifting your perspective. If you don’t like something, just take away its only power: YOUR ATTENTION! Now is it always that easy? Absolutely not. Especially when you’ve got screaming kids tugging at your ankles, a deadline to meet, and dinner to cook, I understand. I have been there.
testimonies, and my mess is now my message. I can say this with pride; I needed to be broke so that I could learn how to budget. I needed to be treated like sh*t, so I could appreciate being treated like a queen. I needed to have awful jobs I hated so that I could work hard to pursue my purpose. I needed all of this to get me to where I am today, and it all started with choosing to focus solely on the things that were within my control.
Remember, you are allowed to change your mind. Bobby Brown isn’t the only one who’s got a prerogative!
Here is a gentle reminder for those of you who need
BIO
AUTHOR
My defining moment of change was when I finally decided to embrace my life. MY LIFE. Not someone else’s life or their definition of what my life should be. I am no longer ashamed or anonymous, my tests are now my
it. Speak kindness over yourself daily. Think healing. Think peace. Think success and happiness. Think with a growth mindset. Always start and end the day with gratitude and loving energy. You deserve that.
Angela Morris is a Certified Life and Mindset Coach. Angela’s life story has empowered her to be an advocate for mental health awareness, sexually exploited victims, and addiction survivors. Her journey to becoming a life coach has not been easy, but overcoming extreme situations helped her to understand that you will never become the best version of yourself without believing that mindset is everything. angela@elevecoachingbyam.com www.elevecoachingbyam.com
Modern Warrior | October 2021 27
Movies &
MODERN WARRIOR | MOVIES IN REVIEW
the Journey Ahead Author | Brent Marchant | Chicago, IL
28 Modern Warrior | October 2021
M
ovies are excellent vehicles for telling stories involving journeys. The so-called “road trip” genre provides fertile ground for relating tales of transformation over time, chronicling the innate evolution that all of us go through in life. And this aspect of our existence – that “everything is in a constant state of becoming” – is a cornerstone principle of the conscious creation process, the philosophy that maintains we draw upon the power of our thoughts, beliefs, and intents in manifesting the reality we experience. Looking at life as a journey is thus an eloquent metaphor for how this concept plays out, and, again, movies provide poignant illustrations in a wide variety of contexts. For example, a number of films effectively shed light on finding ourselves as individuals, such as the Icelandic documentary “Against the Current” (2020), the story of a transgender kayaker (Veiga Grétarsdóttir) and her plan to circumnavigate her island home, a tale that focuses on both her
oceanic and personal odysseys. In a somewhat lighter though no less insightful vein, there’s “Ingrid Goes West” (2017), a satirical dark comedy about a young woman (Aubrey Plaza) trying to find herself by following social media influencers, a process fraught with pitfalls and hard lessons. Journeys often provide excellent vehicles for making a point about oneself. Such ventures are often characterized by significant challenges, but they often have meaningful impact, such as in “Maiden” (2018), a superb documentary about the first all-female crew attempting to sail yachting’s Whitbread Round the World Race, a previously all-male affair. “Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse” (1991) serves up a captivating memoir chronicling the myriad trials director Francis Ford Coppola faced in filming his Vietnam War epic, “Apocalypse Now” (1979), and how the experience helped him grow and develop as an artist. And, in “Love and Monsters” (2020), a young
man (Dylan O’Brien) seeks to prove himself a worthy romantic partner to his long-distance girlfriend (Jessica Henwick) despite the perils of a world in which nature has gone awry in this funny, sometimes campy sci-fi offering, an excellent choice for family viewing. Journeys can also help us find our families or “tribes,” such as in “Flirting with Disaster” (1996), a cross-country screwball comedy about an adopted neurotic Gothamite (Ben Stiller) who has an opportunity to meet his birth parents. The cross-country format also provides the backdrop in “Transamerica” (2005), in which a pre-op transsexual woman (Felicity Huffman) embarks on an eventful trip with the teenage son (Kevin Zegers) she unknowingly fathered years earlier. Building bridges between parent and child is also a central theme in the immensely entertaining actionadventure “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” (1989), in which an intrepid archaeologist (Harrison Ford) and his long-
Modern Warrior | October 2021 29
MODERN WARRIOR | MOVIES IN REVIEW estranged father (Sean Connery) undertake a quest for a prized religious icon, an adventure that ends up having to do with more than just finding an ancient artifact. On a more serious note, there’s “Farewell Amor” (2020), the tale of an Angolan immigrant (Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine) reunited with his wife and daughter (Zainab Jah, Jayme Lawson) in New York after many years apart, an odyssey filled with challenges spawned by the spans of both distance and time. Learning how to pick up the pieces and move on provides a similar slate of challenges in the fact-based biopic “The Dark Divide” (2020), in which a widowed lepidopterist (David Cross) ventures into a remote wilderness area to further his butterfly research as he attempts to get over his wife’s death (Debra Messing). Not all journeys are earthbound, though. The ongoing search for cosmic answers comes up for a perplexed Indiana powerline worker (Richard Dreyfuss) after he has an unexplained incident with a UFO in the sci-fi classic “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977). Similar themes emerge in the offbeat Cuban sci-fi comedy “The Extraordinary Journey of Celeste García” (“El viaje extraordinario de Celeste García”) (2018), in which a widowed planetarium docent (María Isabel Díaz) has an opportunity to visit an off-world civilization, an experience that enables her to learn more than just the ways of an alien race. But perhaps the grandest road trip tale in this vein can be found 30 Modern Warrior | October 2021
in director Stanley Kubrick’s groundbreaking masterpiece, “2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968), an epic that spans heaven and earth, the connections between them, and the course of evolution in a range of permutations. Taking this notion, a step further, a number of films also explore “life” as a journey in settings beyond known physical reality. While these pictures may delve into the realm of fantasy, the allegorical messages they provide us for our known existence are just as valid. In “What Dreams
May Come” (1998), for example, a deceased physician (Robin Williams) goes on the adventure of a lifetime in the afterlife, learning lessons about the way existence operates in ways he never considered before. Similarly, there’s “Cloud Atlas” (2012), in which assorted souls (variously played by Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant, Jim
LINKS
Broadbent, Susan Sarandon, Ben Whishaw, Jim Sturgess, James D’Arcy, Bae Doona, and Hugo Weaving) undergo a variety of evolutionary experiences across six different incarnations. For those who enjoy their stories a little more “grounded,” there’s the Frank Capra classic “Lost Horizon” (1937), in which a group of airplane crash survivors miraculously find themselves in the land of Shangri-La, a virtual paradise on earth. And, of course, one can’t forget the perennial screen favorite “The Wizard of Oz” (1939), in which a lonely farm girl (Judy Garland) is magically transported to a colorful land over the rainbow to learn life lessons and grow in ways she hadn’t previously imagined.
Law of Attraction/Conscious Creation Goes to the Movies: www.facebook.com/ groups/85775675542 Twitter: @Brent_Marchant Cinema Scribe on Bring Me 2 Life radio: https://bringme2life.com/ thecinemascribe
The journeys that lie ahead of us are filled with wonder and opportunity. We can make the most of them by envisioning and taking steps to manifest what we hope to experience. And movies are one of the best ways to fill us with the necessary inspiration. So, fire up that video player and take a peek at what you have to look forward to!
The Good Media Network: https://www. thegoodradionetwork.com has gone awry in this funny, sometimes campy sci-fi offering, an excellent choice for family viewing.
AUTHOR
BIO
A lifelong movie fan and longtime student of metaphysics, Brent Marchant is the awardwinning author of Get the Picture?!: Conscious Creation Goes to the Movies, Consciously Created Cinema: The Movie Lover’s Guide to the Law of Attraction and Third Real: Conscious Creation Goes Back to the Movies. Brent also maintains a blog on his web site (www.BrentMarchant.com) and provides movie reviews for The Good Media Network’s Frankiesense & More podcast and Bring Me 2 Life radio’s Cinema Scribe podcast.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 31
Author | Dimitria L. Cook | Greater Los Angeles area
M
odern warriors are born from their past.
They wear armor to protect themselves. They fend off naysayers and the misinformed. Modern warriors wield intellectual power, mental acuity, and the strength to face adversity without blinking. I am a modern female warrior. I wear my shield, adorn my crown of glory, and stand tall ready to combat any forces that challenge my breath of life.
Poem by Dimitria L. Cook Revelation is Here My energy is so powerful You seek ways to subdue it To dim it To diminish it
I rise I rise up Fearing no evil Having no shame
Yet it’s strong Radiant Forceful And shines through In any adversity
Pride intact Praising all that carried my freedom on their shoulders and backs The wounds The deaths
My light cannot be lowered My strength cannot be corralled and contained The fire inside of me burns continuously
So I can So ... I ... Can ... Rise
BIO
AUTHOR
Modern Female Warrior
MODERN WARRIOR | BLACK LIKE ME
32 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Dimitria L. Cook is a ghostwriter, empowerment writing coach, keynote speaker, international bestselling co-author, and certified trainer. She is passionate about empowering women to align with their inner souls and move their memories to a memoir. Learn more about Dimitria and connect with her by visiting her Empowerment Writing Coach page. Dimitria enjoys writing plays, poems, short stories, visiting museums, and eating sushi.
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MODERN WARRIOR | HEALTHY LIVING
Beating MEDICAL
ODDS
Author | Elizabeth Hughes | Seattle, WA
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. 34 Modern Warrior | October 2021
I
heard this prayer every Sunday when I was growing up, recited by the priest before the sermon. As a child, I focused on the concept of accepting the things I could not change. After all, when you're a kid, there are a lot
of things you don't like but are powerless to change. As I've gotten older, I've realized the wisdom to recognize what you can change is far more important, especially when it comes to health.
Even though medical science has brought many wonderful, life-saving advances, there's a drawback to all of the data and information. Relying solely on numbers takes you out of your health equation, even though you are the most important factor. Whether it's a big diagnosis (like cancer) or a little one (like cold sores), every diagnosis is more than the condition's name. A quick Google search will give you a host of statistics associated with the name: survival rate, percent improvement, time to relapse, risk of side effects. It's easy to think that these numbers represent absolute certainty. But they do not. Remember: statistics are averages, a single number distilled from the experiences of thousands (perhaps millions) of people with the same diagnosis. Averages are a mental shortcut, a way to make sense of an enormous amount of data. By definition, half of all people included in the calculation of "average" do better than average, and many more do much better than that. For every diagnosis, even the most dire ones, there are outliers; people who exceed expectations, live longer or regain function, or sail through treatment—people who are extraordinary.
And it's not just random luck that some people have better outcomes. On the contrary, there is a distinct methodology to extraordinary recovery. In her book, Radical Remission, Dr. Kelly Turner studied extraordinary survivors to find what they do differently from the "average" patient. Rather than relying solely on doctor-prescribed treatment, Dr. Turner found that extraordinary survivors take an entirely different approach to illness, focusing on their own total wellbeing. In particular, extraordinary survivors: • Connect with their creativity, expressing themselves through art, music, dance, crafts, or writing. • Deepen their close relationships and embrace the support of those around them. • Intentionally slow down to enjoy life, often developing a meditative or reflective practice. • Process and release negative emotions, such as resentment, remorse, jealousy, and sorrow. • Find a way to be of service to others, either through volunteering or paid work. Most significantly, extraordinary survivors fully assess their lives and often make radical changes, in some cases becoming completely new people. As a
result, extraordinary survivors are happier, richer, more connected, and more balanced than they were before their illness. In this way, their diagnosis becomes a launchpad for a new, improved life, and many are eternally grateful for the experience of illness. No one needs to wait for a life-altering diagnosis to make these changes. Adopting an extraordinary health mindset can be done at any time and is just as potent as a preventative measure as it is in the midst of serious illness. So don't confuse statistics with certainty, and don't accept the average outcome as the final word in your health. You do have the power to beat the medical odds. And know you have the wisdom to know the difference. AUTHOR Elizabeth Hughes, MD is a dermatologist, inventor, author, and health coach with an outside-the-box approach to health and wellbeing. You can download her Self-Healing Secrets guide at www. ElizabethHughesMD.com and learn more about her approach here: https:// youtu.be/x_NrE15v6Aw.
BIO
It's easy to think that people who survive longer or live fuller lives start out remarkable in some way or have some other hidden advantage. But they don't. They have the same biology that everyone else has. They
don't necessarily have better genes or better insurance, or better doctors.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 35
Love
MODERN WARRIOR | SELF DEVELOPMENT
Yourself More
Author | Lisa Beck | Minneapolis, MN
I
recently came across a letter I wrote to my parents while at summer camp when I was 14. Most of the letter was your standard; camp is fun, I like my cabinmates, the food tastes pretty good, etc. It was how I ended the letter that completely caught me off guard; Yes, mom, I am sitting up straight and taking small bites when I eat. Reading that sentence immediately brought me back to my childhood, and I could feel my body contracting into the smallness that I felt. Overall, I had a great childhood: two parents and a younger sister who loved me very much. We spent a lot of time with extended family, camped, traveled, and I always felt supported. Yet, there was a part of me that felt small. If I was to be my true self, it felt too big, too bright, too loud, and not appropriate for our small town.
36 Modern Warrior | October 2021
I love my parents very much, and even though I had a wonderful childhood, no one leaves their childhood unscathed and without some wounding. For me, at times, I felt like I had to be a "Stepford Wife." Follow the rules and don't be too loud. Girls are polite, clean, fragile, and so on. Do not rock the boat. My inner wild woman was definitely suppressed. Both my parents were small business owners in our town and often told my sister and me, "the choices you make can reflect on our family and businesses." Behind these words was good intention and a lesson everyone can use. Choices can have consequences. However, my child-like brain took it as; don't make a mistake, must be perfect, must always be nice, or it could ruin our family and business. For many years, I didn't
realize how angry or afraid I was of my own power and big-ness. By diving into myself, doing the inner work, and looking at all of my shadows, I uncovered the root of these emotions that had been hidden for so long. I also realized that it did no good to be angry towards or blame my parents. They did the best they could with where they were at, and they too did not escape their childhood unscathed. When we are wounded as children, it stunts our growth emotionally. We carry and project these wounds onto others, especially loved ones. Even with all the work and healing, I have done on myself, every so often, the universe sends reminders, such as my camp letter, to remind me that the inner work never stops. Now I take these opportunities to reflect on how far I've come and love myself a little bit harder.
BIO
AUTHOR
Lisa Beck is a Self-Love & Empowerment Coach, Author, and Speaker. She is the editor for the international magazine Life Quote Journal. Lisa is passionate about inspiring others to live in balance, bravely love themselves, and boldly show up in the world. Find Lisa at www.aninfinitelove.com Instagram: lisa_aninfinitelove and FB: lisabeckcoaching
Modern Warrior | October 2021 37
MODERN WARRIOR | TEA-CUP READING
a little flock of Dragons Author | Nancy Bromley | Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
T
he Tea-Cup reading for this month is about surrounding yourself with your people. However, this isn’t just any group being gathered; it’s a flock of dragons.
In this image, there are four dragons and a butterfly hanging out together in a tree. There is a lot of great symbolism here. The dragons represent those people that lift you, empower you, protect you and make you feel fierce. Fierce, not as in angry, but powerful, unstoppable, and majestic!
The fact that they are hanging out in a tree represents protection. Trees are our supports, our protection, and our providers. They provide shade, supplies, nourishment; the list is endless.
38 Modern Warrior | October 2021
The one image that seems a little incongruent in this flock of dragons is the butterfly. At first, I mistook it for another dragon, but the butterfly represents metamorphosis. By surrounding yourself with your flock of dragons, it will allow you to genuinely be empowered to make the absolute changes you need to fly. One of the pieces of work I do along with tea leaf readings is what I call Soul Telepathy. This is when I use my empathic skills to translate for you what your own soul wants you to hear.
It’s time for you to rise. AUTHOR Nancy Inspired's mission in life is to help others reach their soul's potential. Whether working as a school administrator, consultant or intuitive counsellor, Nancy seeks to empower those around her to rise. www.nancyinspired.com
BIO
They are looking out for each other and helping everyone into their power.
The group that we are being asked to surround ourselves with is exactly that. Those that will protect us and help provide what we need while we grow and evolve. Now sometimes, what we need is a push or nudge, which is why these are dragons. Find those people that will challenge you to rise but protect you fiercely while you do so.
Occasionally I do collective readings where I get wisdom for a group. Just now, as I was about to close this article, I was giving an extra message. I am hearing that the reason why these are dragons encouraging the rise with fierceness is because there are a number of readers that are currently settling in situations that are not healthy for them, but they don’t feel empowered or are afraid to make the changes they want to make. By surrounding yourself with your dragons, you will no longer be afraid to make the changes your soul wants and needs. I also just heard that the dragons may be our friends and family but may also be professionals like therapists, social workers, or health professionals. Find your dragons! You are supported, protected, and loved.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 39
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Walk A Mile In My Shoes Author | Sarah Willoughby Melbourne, Australia
"When we wholeheartedly offer love and compassion to each other during challenging times the world can begin to heal." - Sarah Willoughby
I
t is often not until we have walked in someone else's shoes that we can understand their pain and suffering. For me, that big life lesson was harshly reinforced during the many years I dealt with secondary infertility. I had lost track of the number of times someone suggested I should relax, stop worrying or be patient when I was struggling to conceive. Having been told my miscarriag es happened because there was something wrong with my baby, and it was, for the best, did nothing to heal my already broken heart. Neither did hearing dismissive promises that I would have another child in the future. "But I wanted that one!" were the thoughts that screamed inside my mind. Yet, those words never came out of my mouth. I could only smile and nod in agreement. I was numb. It became easier to soothe the other person's obvious discomfort and change the subject than be honest about how I was feeling and what support I needed.
40 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Even though no one can take away the pain or grief caused by infertility, there are numerous ways to communicate support to ensure we don't add to the despair that someone is already feeling. If you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage but are unsure what to say or how to be there for them, the following words may be helpful:
1. "I understand that it's difficult
to be strong right now." Acknowledging someone's pain is a compassionate response and provides reassurance that there is no judgment. They may already be exhausted from dealing with numerous infertil ity hurdles and now loss. Per mitting them not to be strong at this time is liberating.
2. "I'm here for you both; I'm
sorry for your loss." Partners often get forgotten about during the grieving pro cess, so saying this brings com fort to each person.
3. "Grief is natural; it takes time." Every moment without their baby is difficult. Hearing that their feelings are normal will help them understand their grief.
4. "There is nothing you could
or couldn't have done to change the outcome. There was no good reason for this to happen." Many women who have suffereda miscarriage question themselves, are wracked with guilt, and wonder what they did wrong. Even though logically, they know miscarriage is never their fault, it's important to be reminded of this during vulner able moments.
5. "You're not alone. I will help
you through this tough time." Knowing that they don't have to face this alone will mean so much. Feeling safe to cry and express their pain will help facilitate healing.
Image by sebagee from Pixabay
6. "I'll deliver your groceries
every Monday or come by on Sundays to do the laundry." Performing household tasks can alleviate daily burdens. Offering specific help takes the pressure off them to come up with suggestions about what support would be welcomed.
7. "I'd be happy to help you
Remaining silent to alleviate our personal discomfort shows no attempt to walk in someone else's shoes. And until we're prepared to do this, people all around the world will continue to feel isolated and grieve behind closed doors.
AUTHOR Sarah empowers people to heal, love themselves, achieve more and transform their lives through her coaching, writing, speaking and energy healing. Providing hope to anyone facing infertility or adversity, Sarah shares how she navigated through grief and trauma to be blessed with three beautiful children, who are her greatest teachers. Business and Social Media Links www.sarahwilloughby.com.au www.linkedin.com/in/sarahwilloughby-2019 www.facebook.com/ SarahWilloughbyAustralia
BIO
organize a ceremony or come along for support." My baby's funeral service gave me the closure I needed. Having a private ceremony with candles and readings honors the life that has been lost and helps the healing process.
As with any situation in life, if we ever inadvertently say or do the wrong thing, simply owning it and apologizing makes all the difference. I have always appreciated someone who tried to be there for me, even if their words didn't always come out exactly as they intended.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 41
MODERN WARRIOR | SELF-DEVELOPMENT
10 Ways
to Boost Your
Happiness Author | Terri Lynn Murphy Philadelphia, PA
T
his life is a true journey, and as has been said over and over again since this pandemic started, we are all in this together. We certainly are, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. My journey in life has taught me the importance of putting happiness first even in the most difficult times, and that is what I’d like to share with you. Is it really possible to choose happiness? And, if that is true, why is everyone not happy all the time? To answer this question, we need to define what happiness means. According to the dictionary, happiness is to enjoy, display cheer or emote joy. So, how can you be happy when you are in pain or living with circumstances that you dislike? The truth is, to be happy under all circumstances is no easy task, and that is why so many people are not happy. But I am here to tell you that your happiness is in your hands and that when you put effort into raising your own happiness level, everything in your life gets better.
42 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Here are some steps that will help you to make the decision to be happy, no matter what. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Make the commitment to simply be happy; allow happiness; allow change. If you keep thinking the same thoughts, you will get he same result. In the present moment, and not things from the past, write a list each morning of at least three things that you are truly grateful for. Now, read the list and really feel the gratitude penetrate your being. Your feelings are the magnet. Begin each morning by using your imagination, and think of all the good things that might happen in the day ahead, and give thanks for all your blessings. Make a conscious effort to find things in your day to be grateful for. Make a habit of stopping every hour to inhale and focus on a positive thought. Keep reminders in front of you, triggers that will bring your focus back to a positive thought (flowers work great for
me), so when things get tough or you feel stressed, you are reminded of the commitment you made to be happy. 7. Force yourself to smile. A smile is an instant booster. 8. When you feel stress setting in or your mood heading downhill, change your physiology. Get up, take a walk outside for a few minutes, look at things in the distance, breathe deep, feel grateful for the air you breathe. Dance behind closed doors if you can, dancing is a great mood lifter. 9. Do something kind for someone else. This is another great mood lifter. Even a smile to a stranger is good enough to have an effect. 10. At the end of each day, review all the happy moments and let the gratitude for them fill you. These are simple beginning steps that will help change your focus and your life. Your goal each day
should just be to be slightly happier than the day before. Gratitude is the best booster shot. When you are in a state of gratitude, the stress cannot get the best of you. If you really want to commit and launch your happiness level to the moon, read Rhonda Byrne’s book The Magic, and do the twentyeight-day exercises. You will turn your world around quickly. This is your life journey and what I know for sure is that when you are happy and accepting of what is, your journey will be smoother, and you will get the best possible result. So the real question is: What are you willing to do? Are you willing to take responsibility for your own life and choose happiness? You and those around you will reap the benefits. I have done so, and I know my life is greatly enhanced because I have trained myself to be happy. All happiness to you.
BIO
AUTHOR
This takes work. Just as an athlete trains his body and mind, so must you train yourself to live your best life. Each of us has different likes and goals, but there are some general steps that can help elevate anyone’s happiness level.
Terri Lynn is an International Best-Selling author and happiness coach. Her intention is to share the benefits of putting happiness first. Her first book is Journey to my Soul, Following Divine Navigation. Her second book, 10 Minutes to a Happier You, Start Your Day in a Positive Way, launched as a #1 Best Seller on Amazon. Connect with Terri: www.thinkhappybehappy.com
Modern Warrior | October 2021 43
MODERN WARRIOR | SELF-DEVELOPMENT
The Journey or the Destination Which do you love more? Author| Michelle Borel | Twin Island of Trinidad & Tobago, Caribbean
“The main thing that you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.” – Ed Sheran
T
hough we all love the opportunity to vacation whenever possible, an airport is
44 Modern Warrior | October 2021
not the sexiest place in the world. Depending on the time you are traveling, you may encounter long lines. There are times when there are delays, public restrooms and let's not forget the seat in the middle if you don't do online check-in. These are just a few of the many challenges you can find
when getting ready to travel. As a young professional unfamiliar with flying, I was excited to travel to Honduras on business to be part of an international conference. On my way there, I had a stop in Panama; never had I seen lines
so long. Back on the plane with hours in the air, I made it to Honduras.
My friends and family love to hear me tell this story, as I do it with a heap of animation. As I reflect on that trip, it got me thinking! That trip, like many others I have taken, is a lot like life. We don't always love the journey, but the destination makes it so worthwhile, and it allows us to appreciate everything along the way.
With pride and power in my stride, I gave the warmth of the Caribbean to everyone I passed while coming off the plane and made my way out of immigration. I smiled and offered pleasant phrases in Spanish. ‘Hola.’ ‘Buenos tardes.’ Confidently, I mustered up all the Spanish I could pull together as I gave the taxi driver the name of the hotel I needed to get to immediately. He responded, 'No esta aqui.' I wondered if my Spanish was rustier than I thought. Was the taxi driver telling me that the hotel was not here? I then tried to share pictures of the Hilton Princesa Hotel. Confused, I looked around for another driver. I got the same response. Finally, I went back inside the airport and asked for someone who spoke English. I was flabbergasted; I was on the wrong side of Honduras! The taxi driver was telling me that I needed to be on the other side, and he was unable to take me there. The only chance of me making it to the conference was a small jet.
At that moment, I called on my 'Creator' in every language I knew while I held the hand of the motherly lady next to me. She was accustomed to this ride and smiled while eventually hugging me in an attempt to calm me down. It is a possibility that she had no choice but to hold me, as I would not let go, screaming, 'Dios Mio's' at the top of my lungs, ensuring that she could hear me over the wind. Finally, I got to the hotel, which looked like a miniature castle. At the conference, we were able to tour various parts of beautiful Honduras. I was thrilled by the cultural food, unique craft, and amicable Hondurans. Every misstep of the journey to get there - was so worth it.
In traffic, as you make your way to or from work, you can choose to be frustrated as you maneuver your way through, or you can turn on your favorite station, wave at other drivers, honk your horn, and smile, turning your worrier into a warrior. Happy Travels! AUTHOR Michelle Borel is an author, poet, writer, broadcaster, motivational speaker, and marketer from Trinidad & Tobago. Michelle has written two children's books, 'Magic Words with Max' and 'Now I'm Two,' and her book Soulspection - A Collection of Poetry which has won the Bocas Lit Fest/ Newsday's 'Book of the Year - People's Choice. To learn more about this proud wife and mother of four, visit https:// michelleborel.com
BIO
The only benefit to that ride was that I was certain my luggage would not be lost, as I could see it 'bubbling like a pot of soup' behind me on this tiny jet that didn't even have a door that
closed. It was only big enough for the pilot, another passenger, and myself.
Since then, I have matured as a traveler. I prepare for the unexpected. When we live in the beauty of the present moment, we can truly embrace the gift it offers. And while I always love the destination, I have learned to appreciate the journey that gets me there. There is also beauty in that, as well as valuable lessons.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 45
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Moving the Needle from Broken to Empowered
46 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Author | Kate Nguy | Edmonton, AB, Canada
H
ave you ever wanted something so badly that it didn't even occur to you that it wasn't a possibility?
But here is the thing about the state of feeling broken, you either stay in the broken mindset, or you say hell no and fight.
Well, that was me!
Feeling broken is probably the most disempowering state to be in. So in this despair, it's only natural that we give all of our power to someone else, and we buckle into the passenger seat.
In fact, it was just this knowing within me that "it would be" that I didn't even consider that it won't be. I made sure that everything in my life was set up perfectly so that I would be in control when I was ready to hit the go button. I went to university, was employed at a well-paying job, bought a house, and finally found the perfect man. Here's the thing, control is just a false sense of security. I had controlled and strategically mapped all the elements in my life, which is why, when I was told that having children naturally was not in the cards for me and that my womb was unfixable, I felt like my whole future had just crumbled.
Feeling empowered is the complete opposite. It's hopping into the driver's seat, putting the top down on the car, and throwing the damn map out the window to allow for magic to happen. This is not to say it is an easy task. It is challenging, as the rational part of your brain creates fear and doubt. But, arming yourself with the right tools will help you stay anchored in your belief that anything and everything is possible, even if it has not happened yet.
At that moment, I thought that having a baby would be just another checked box; instead, it became a moment where I questioned my whole future. Statistics on successful IVF were not great at the time, and the financial commitment was more than I could manage. This also meant that the dream of having more than one child seemed like an impossibility.
Trust me when I say, if you believe it, feel it, and live it, then anything is possible. I have proven this by beating all the odds. I have healed my own broken womb. I HAVE NOW HAD THREE AMAZING CHILDREN AND HAVE HAD THEM NATURALLY.
BIO
AUTHOR
As I sat with this news and thought about what the doctor had said, there was no denying that I felt BROKEN! Why me? What did I do wrong?
Here are some tools that I recommend to help you stay anchored: 1. Know your desired outcome. Feel it in every fiber of your being. 2. Give yourself space to pause when doubt or worry creep in. To acknowledge it is to let go of your power. 3. Do the things that strengthen your relationship with you yoga, meditating, breathing. 4. Find resources that help you feel empowered and ones that will give you new tools to thrive. 5. Do things that bring you joy. Joy amplifies magic.
Kate Nguy - The Womb Revivalist, specializing in working with women struggling to conceive and to help them awaken their fertile selves through their own inner wisdom and healing potential. It is her life's desire to help women radically defy the stories they are told about their fertility so that they can attune to the sacredness of their womb and feel empowered in their body's ability to heal and create life.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 47
To Marvel at the Wings of a Dragonfly
MODERN WARRIOR | CONSCIOUS LIVING
Support Comes to Those Who Ask Author | Jo Ann Wenner | Minneapolis, MN
A
utumn is a time of profound transition for all of us. It's a time of visible change in the outside world. The colors of our landscapes, dressed in their festive colors, will soon begin to fade, reminding us of the transient nature of all things. Like the trees, it's time to move down into our roots, rest, recover, and find support. In my early thirties, I was a young mother of many little ones and quite overwhelmed by the chaos and demands of it all. It was early Fall in Northern New Jersey, where I lived, far from family. I felt exhausted, lonely, completely uprooted, and in need of nourishment. Like the Autumn leaves, I was fading. Sometimes, I didn't think I could make it through the next week, let alone the next day.
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To my relief, my mother-inlaw was very compassionate. Remembering herself as an overwhelmed young mother, she took my hands in hers, looked into my eyes, and gave me some sage advice that I took to heart and never forgot. She told me to try to be here, now, in this moment, nothing more. She helped me understand that "this too shall pass," and when it's gone, I'd look back and cherish these days.
take many forms, and though it's beautiful when it comes from those we love, support may also appear in the helping hands of a stranger or through eyes that catch ours to say, "I see you," "I'm here for you," and "I love you." May we find the support we need to replenish ourselves, strengthen our roots, and find our laughter again. May our hearts be open to recognizing support when offered and receive its gifts with grace and love.
She was right. I took her advice and began to take in life moment by moment. At first, it wasn't an easy practice, but I got better at it with time. At some point, I remember hearing myself laughing with my children and was surprised just how readily laughter came to me. I was grateful to find a child-like part of myself again who could stop to marvel at the wings of a dragonfly, just to my left, resting on the petal of a flower. I had the eyes of a child again. The natural world was surprising and beautiful. We don't have to muscle through our challenges alone. Support can
AUTHOR Jo Ann Wenner, MS, MA-T is a holistic coach working with private clients, groups, and businesses. The deep well of her work comes from her ability to bring forth and facilitate Compassionate Conversations for a Courageous Life. She is an International Best-Selling Author, Master Teacher, Speaker, and Mom to Seven. http:// www.prismholistic.com
BIO
Being exhausted and nursing a new baby, I got sick and feverish with mastitis. And, I was very fortunate to have my motherin-law come out to help me get back on my feet. While she was there, I got up the courage to confide in her that I didn't think I could keep up with the demands of motherhood. There were just so many needs to be met. I felt inadequate, ill-equipped, and forlorn. As much as I adored my children, I was ready to get off the
merry-go-round, lie down on the ground and not get up. For how long? I couldn't say.
The
Dragaonfly
In almost every part of the world, the Dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, and self-realization. Change that is often referred to as mental and emotional maturity and understanding the deeper meaning of life. Modern Warrior | October 2021 49
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT A change of scenery is necessary to refresh, regroup and take a break from normal life. Of course, we miss going on a Segway in Paris or Prague or taking a Kayak in Panajachel, Guatemala. We also miss the airport routines of having a drink before our flight and getting that first glance at our hotel room before going out to explore our new environment for the next few days.
Author | Karin Brauner | Brighton and Hove, United Kingdom
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or the past 18+ months, we’ve been thrown into a whole new experience. Many are used to traveling for the holidays at least once or twice a year. My husband and I traveled often. We’d usually go to the Continent from the UK for about three or four days and then return home to get back to work and life as usual. That was enough time to explore the new city, taste some new foods and drinks, and spend quality time together without interruption.
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In doing these mini-breaks, we found that it was financially beneficial and helped us recover so that we could do it again soon.
Have you explored the areas in your hometown that might help you take that necessary break you need, even if it’s not traveling very far?
In February 2020, we decided to make a night of it and went to a concert in our hometown. This was before Covid hit, and the lockdowns began.
AUTHOR
We are lucky that we live in Brighton, a beautiful and relaxing beach town. It’s called LondonBy-Sea, with many natural wonders to enjoy. I say lucky for many reasons. There are a variety of restaurants and places to go. Even during the pandemic, when everything was closed, we were able to enjoy long walks in the woods, fields, parks, and on the beach.
Karin Brauner is passionate about helping people get on track – or back on track – in their personal and professional lives through practical tools and inspirational conversations in a variety of settings. Karin teaches tools that she’s learned and developed throughout her own life. She knows how hard things can get and how great things can be once you move through to the other side. She now shares the knowledge she’s gained through various mediums to show people a path to better self-care, support when processing their past, and working out their present to lead an improved life and thrive in their personal and professional relationships. Connect at karinbrauneronline.co.uk
BIO
On one particular occasion, we went to visit my sister, and we planned to stay for about seven days. Around day four, we were getting really antsy and were missing home - our computers, sofa, blankets, and even our own food. This confirmed to both my husband and me – those 3-4 days were long enough to be away, so
we began to do mini-breaks.
We could view it as a depressive situation, seeing that travel is limited and more complicated than before, but we choose not to do that. Instead, we are choosing to embrace the current reality for what is and make the most of what is around us.
MODERN WARRIOR | SELF-DEVELOPMENT
Mindset, Money
&
Making it Happen during Divorce
3 areas to consider when moving through a major life transition. Author | Deanna Boyden | Calgary AB, Toronto ON, Palm Springs, CA 52 Modern Warrior | October 2021
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hen I coach clients, I often break their journey into three areas; Mindset, Money, and Making it Happen - executing a path forward. I believe that when starting any new path in life, these areas build the foundation of a successful transition to the next chapter in your story. Recently, I sat with a woman who found herself in the middle of a divorce and at a crossroads in her life. As I coached her, we broke down these three topics as they applied to her. Keep in mind that these three principles apply to men and women who find themselves in situations that no longer serve them, and when faced with a major life transition, seek to find a more fulfilling path. Mindset - Emotionally, she understands why her marriage broke down. She has put in the work to heal her inner thoughts and has grown from her experiences. Through the process, she pursued her interests in spiritual work and personal development. She spends time traveling and has enjoyed a few weekends with the girls, which involved both mourning and celebrating. Overall, she has gotten to a fairly good place in terms of mindset, although she hasn't decided what her life will look like past the next 12 months. I think that's OK, as long as she continues to move forward in finding her true fulfillment for this next stage of her life.
She feels comfortable knowing that she can support herself through this transition as she and her soon-to-be ex-husband share assets that they will continue to run together, and her children have now finished school, moving on to the next phase in their lives. She gains strength in knowing how much money she needs to continue her lifestyle and appreciates the time she put in to build a portfolio of rental properties, which now gives her stability. Making it Happen – Executing a path forward is where this gets interesting. What are the next steps? She wasn’t sure. She knows she wants to live a mobile life, travel to the people and places she loves, and explore new destinations. Does she want to set new roots in one spot? Does she want to resume her work in person with clients or stay online? She's not sure. Timelines and planning are hazy
beyond the next 12 months as she learns to live for herself, living each day with fulfillment. She took steps early on to secure her financial future, which now gives her flexibility to cover her immediate needs without considering a long-term plan. That will come to her in time. She is trying to enjoy each day, believing that the next step will come when she's ready. Why does this story matter? Well, as I've watched her story unfold, I've seen her move through the transition without the usual worry and stress of finances during a divorce. I think we've all seen people who have not had this luxury. And we've seen people who stay in a bad marriage because of money. If we all start to use our own voices and choose to secure our financial future, we can smooth out the waves of a major life transition and make it easier to move forward towards a big, rich, prosperous life of fulfillment. AUTHOR Deanna Boyden is an accomplished business leader and coach. She assists entrepreneurs and real estate investors grow both their life worth and net worth with her approach to living each day to the fullest. If you want to grow your mindset, focus, strategy and execution including a solid 5 year plan to freedom, visit www.deannaboyden.com
BIO
I enjoy working with her, and I am encouraged to see her thriving in her confidence. She is now in the right frame of mind and looking ahead to a more positive phase of her life.
Money - Financially, she is fairly secure, and this is making for a smooth transition. She is a licensed professional with a successful business that allows her to work online from anywhere she wants to be. For many years she has taken on the financial responsibility of putting her children through school and helping her husband start his business which ultimately failed.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 53
MODERN WARRIOR | CONSCIOUS LIVING
I
You are Not Going Crazy You're Waking Up
Author | Ileana McAra Philadelphia, PA
n my own transition from an autopilot life to a spiritual awakening, my family and friends would sometimes give me a skeptical look. I could almost hear their thoughts wafting out. Are you going crazy? The truth is, I didn't know where my ideas came from. They just showed up—loud and clear—and I couldn't ignore them. Over the years, I've heard stories of the same experience from others. Here are some signs that you might also be awakening: 1. Knowing Things "That man isn't being completely honest with you," I said after our dinner guests were about to leave. "What makes you say that?" my then-husband demanded. "He's a nice guy. You're imagining things." Well, maybe I was. Instead of arguing, I let the topic drop. A year later, we learned that the man in question had been skimming from his non-profit's donations. How did I know? I had no idea. I just knew—the same as I knew a lot of things over the years. I wasn't crazy, and I wasn't making it up. I was awakening. 2. An Urge to get Close to Nature Homesteading has become a sweeping trend these days. Thousands of people are leaving population-dense areas and moving to the countryside. Some might call this a response to the recent health crisis, but maybe it is more than that. Your urge to get back to nature might
54 Modern Warrior | October 2021
simply be hiking in a state park or heading to the beach on a regular basis. When you get an irresistible urge to get close to nature, when you've never been interested in the outdoors before, your family and friends could think you are crazy, but you might be waking up. 3. Zero Tolerance for Drama For years, your best friend has called you every few days with her weekly drama update—whether
relationships, politics, or the latest news broadcast. For some reason, you now cut the call short. Drama isn't your cup of tea anymore because you no longer resonate with old ways of thinking. Why? You might be waking up.
food honors your body and gives you a connection to the earth. You move your body because you feel better when you do. Healthy living is more than a lifestyle choice for you. It is part of who you are because you are waking up.
4. Concern about Healthy Living
5. Regularly Zoning Out
When eating wholesome food, you feel deep satisfaction that goes beyond good taste. You have a strong sense that freshly grown
You set aside time for meditation, the same as making your morning coffee or taking a shower. Your mindset is more important than
your skillset. You plan for times where you do nothing at all, so you can daydream and imagine your life in full color. Intentionally zoning out isn't a waste of time for you because you are waking up. 6. Unflagging Optimism In the middle of chaos, your life keeps getting better and better. Despite dire predictions on every hand, you know the world is in a process of transformation, and it's all good. No one can get you down because you are waking up. 7. Callings For no apparent reason, out of the blue, you get an idea that won't go away, like moving to Sedona, Arizona, when you've been an East Coast girl all your life. Callings are insistent. You have the choice to ignore them or deny them, but you also know that good things wait for you over there. When you tell your family and friends about your plans, they will probably suggest a mental health checkup, but you might just be waking up. When we undergo a spiritual awakening, we literally "wake up" to life, allowing us to create our very best life.
AUTHOR
BIO
Ileana McAra is the East Coast girl moving to Sedona. If you’re in the area, look her up. Visit her website at LanaMcAra.com and email her at Lana@LanaMcAra.com
Modern Warrior | October 2021 55
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Change
The Attitude Journey Author | Debora J. Hollick Alberta, Canada
C
lichés; Isn't life just full of them?
"With experience comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes experience." "Life is a journey, not a destination." "The only constant is change." "Change your attitude, change your life." I could go on ad nauseam, for they are endless. I have found, and maybe you have, too, depending on who says it, along with when and why it is said, they can be comforting or downright aggravating. That being said, they have a ring of truth to them, for many. Some we may agree with and embrace wholeheartedly, and others not so much. I have been a long-time believer and proponent of how changing your thoughts and attitude from negative to positive, even slightly, can and will, given the opportunity to do so, change our lives. It has been my experience on both sides. 56 Modern Warrior | October 2021
Recently, again, I have had the opportunity to experience the necessity of looking at and focusing on making a conscious choice to renew my thought process in order to live a more enjoyable life.
us that may feel somewhat insurmountable, unjust, and/or downright ugly, how we choose to initiate and continue to view it is the difference in the level of uneasiness, perhaps even to the point of being overpowering.
even negative ones. Without contrast, we would not be able to make decisions. It doesn't have to be bad, simply what to choose. Do I want this or that, the blue or the purple cup this morning, to read this article or that one, etc.?
I believe that the majority of people, me included, receive this gift, sometimes several times per day. Do we, however, embrace it or continue to remain in a frustrated, hurt, fearful or angry state, only to perpetuate it and wonder why things are getting worse instead of better?
What if, in addition to, or instead of, looking only at the obstacle presented, we made the conscious decision to look for and find the positive in what has been laid out before us? Is there a way to see one or more benefits that may ease how we are feeling in that moment, even if it is just for a moment?
We are a fun, card-playing family. Perhaps my sister has come up
If you have ever lived in your residence, which is also your home office, during a major renovation, you might have an idea as to where I am going with this article. To that, add the choice of two adult family members deciding to amalgamate two independent households together, and one might see just what the immediate future may have in store for us. Is change really difficult, or is it our perception that makes it so? I feel it may very well be both. How we view the circumstances of change varies the degree of difficulty and the challenge of working and feeling our way through it. Are you someone who is prone to making the decision, even before you are fully immersed in it, to see the enormous challenges before you and only look at how hard it is going to be?
To be sure, some days feel harder than others, and while I can only speak for myself, I am confident that the same holds true for both of us. So, what is one to do? It is okay to acknowledge how we feel at the present time. Everyone feels frustration, hurt, fear, and anger. Emotions are a good thing. Yes,
with the fastest and easiest way for us to move forward through our differences in a way that lightens the mood. It goes like this – "F*#k you, f*#k you. Where's the Crib board?" And so, we play.
AUTHOR Debora J. Hollick, The Smash Through Mentor, is an Intuitive Consultant, Coach, Speaker, International #1 Best Selling Author - Helping professionals “smash through” barriers, keeping them from enjoying their full potential. Her clients say, “It feels like, receiving a warm, energy hug while also receiving a gentle kick in the pants!” She is also the founder of Live Life In W.O.W! Wonder~ Openness~Wisdom – watch for more on this, coming soon! https://www.insightfulsolutions.com/ https://smashthroughmentor.com/
BIO
While there are definitely some, maybe possibly a whole lot, of what life throws at
Take my situation that I mentioned earlier. Two strongwilled, intelligent women who have run their own individual households for many years, after much thought and discussion, decide it is a good idea to live under one roof. Recognizing there certainly would be differences, compromises, and the biting of our tongues often, the conclusion is that the value in our choice outweighs the alternative.
Modern Warrior | October 2021 57
MODERN WARRIOR | EMPOWERMENT
Where Are Your Choices
Leading You?
Author | Dayna Hammond |Ardrossan, Alberta Canada
58 Modern Warrior | October 2021
"Our weaknesses are our strengths turned up way too high. When we are finally aware of our weaknesses and/or negative tendencies, we then open up the opportunity to work with them" - Allan Lokos
H
ow often do you remove yourself from an opportunity? How many times do you say "No" or "Maybe next time" because you're afraid of stepping into an experience that you claim to truly 'want' but, based on results, you obviously don't? How many excuses have you given? How often have you blamed external circumstances for being the reason you "can't" do something? This may be a difficult concept for some to process, but the truth is that you are CHOOSING to TAKE YOURSELF OUT! It's not the traffic's fault that you missed the appointment. You didn't 'accidentally' double book yourself, forcing you to choose between two experiences you desire to be a part of. You aren't bad at checking your correspondence, leaving you uninformed about something important. You manifested that. You choose those results. Some engrained pattern or belief system that could potentially be subconscious chose not to participate. And until you dig deep and understand what it is and where it comes from, the
cycle of self-sabotage and elimination will continually play on repeat. There will always be something you miss out on or an opportunity you 'can't' experience because of something else. It isn't until you finally step in front of the mirror, take a hard look into those beautiful eyes and ask, "Why am I choosing this for myself?" that you start to heal and experience transformation. Not exactly thrilled to hear me say this? Believe me, I wasn't happy about it either. "What do you mean it's MY fault my life is chaos, and everything sucks right now?" I was livid the first time I heard it. There was no way I was going to take the blame for all the bullsh*t going on in my life. But here's the thing, it isn't about Responsibility; it's about Accountability. When we use the word 'responsible,' we often are inflicting blame, putting someone in a victim stance and someone in a perpetrator position. Throw in a rescuer, and you have a lovely triangle filled with shame, guilt, anger, resentment, and absolutely zero Accountability. It's a fun little cycle that repeats until someone finally gets tired
of playing the blame game and chooses to either step up, step away, or offer another option. And that lovely other option is the magical concept of Accountability. When we stand in our power of being accountable, we aren't saying, "Sorry, it's my fault." Instead, what we're saying is, "This is the part I played in this situation which created these existing results," and "This is what I am choosing to do differently next time." By simply using different words and being open to a different mindset, we eliminate the negative emotions that often come with the expectation of responsibility and blame. We no longer sit in the space of ugly emotional grungy's but instead step in the space of capability and opportunity. And when we do so, finally allowing ourselves to remain open and willing to experience a different result, we can change the entire trajectory of our life and potentially those around us. How absolutely beautiful and powerful is that thought? AUTHOR Dayna Hammond is the founder of the Parsons Animal Rescue Foundation, a non-profit that focuses on the rescue and rehabilitation of abused and neglected horses. She is also the owner of Divine Grace Animal Assisted Therapy, where she and her herd devote their space and energy to supporting the surrounding community in all areas of mental health and wellness.
BIO Modern Warrior | October 2021 59
WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK?
TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY WHAT'S YOUR MONEY STORY?
YOUR MONEY STORY AFFECTS EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE CHANGE YOUR STORY | CHANG YOUR LIFE
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Rachelle Babler featured
ON THE COVER