W R I T T E N BY K I M H I L L
K I M
H I L L
Grammy nominated and Dove Award-winning singer/songwriter
My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
O R I G I N A L LY
P U B L I S H E D
T H E
WO R S H I P P E R
PSALM 34:2, NIV
f you’ve lived a little, you’re probably well-acquainted with the inevitable pain and suffering that comes with being human—with living in a broken world. As a young girl, I thought that if God was going to use me, I had to be “really good” so that He “could.” I heard testimonies of how God saved “really big sinners” and used them in ministry. But I thought if you were a Christian kid you needed to stay as perfect as possible so that the Lord could use you. Maybe God had a three-strikes-and-you’re-out system, and if I messed up too much, He wouldn’t use me. Little did I know that, later, the most painful season of my life would be the path for me to be a more effective worship leader. I had no idea that the deepest ministry I’d ever get to be involved in would be the result of my heartbreak. In the midst of that hard season, there was a tiny bit of my heart that clung to the words in Scripture about a “bruised reed not being broken, or a smoldering wick snuffed out” (Isaiah 42:3). They were verses that said “the calls and gifts of God are irrevocable,” that He doesn’t take them back, that God is faithful even when we are faithless.
14 W O R S H I P L E A D E R | W O R S H I P L E A D E R .C O M | VO L . 28, N O. 4
BROKEN COMFORT The past several years, as I’ve become more comfortable in my brokenness. I’m freer than ever to love others, because God has loved me. Behind the Christian grins, cropped pants and fish bumper stickers is a world of broken people, desperate for hope. And sometimes—when we’re honest about our own pain—God allows us to be conduits of the living hope we have in Him. As the forgiven, hopefully, we become more forgiving; as the healed, we become wounded healers and remind others that God is truly the redeemer of all mankind. As we bless Him and praise Him, even in the midst of our pain and disappointment, we are truly made whole and made into the men and women He wants us to be in this very broken world. Recently, I recorded a song by Mark Lee and Marc Byrd that sums up my life better than I could have ever written. This is the chorus: Lover of my soul
Turning me from dust to gold
Amazed by the wonder of Your grace Lover of My Soul
My shattered life has been made whole My heart forever sings Your praise