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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Amanda Shendruk | firstname.lastname@example.org | (613) 562 5261
The metabolic footprint Re: Why I hate the U-Pass, (Opinion, Sept. 16)
I AGREE THAT any such deal, without the possibility of opt-out, is anti-democratic. If those students using or wanting to use OC Transpo can’t get a decent deal without imposing costs on others, then there is something wrong with the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO)’s ability to leverage for students. Politically and careerist motivated societal engineering is not the way to serve students and negates personal freedom However, I wish to correct Tishler’s qualified statement that travelling by foot carries no “ecological footprint.” My scientific calculations (see “carbon” label at activistteacher.blogspot.com/) show that carbon dioxide emissions from all fossil fuel burning are less than that from anthropogenic animal breathing. This means that human metabolic activity (food burning) is a significant source of atmospheric carbon dioxide. To reduce this metabolic footprint, I recommend the lowest metabolic activity possible, such as attending class, watching YouTube videos, etc. Those serious about carbon should also consider gaining weight as a carbon sink and killing their pets. Denis Rancourt Former U of O physics professor To those who oppose the bottled waterfree campus: get informed! EVERY DAY IT becomes more apparent that those who oppose our bottled waterfree campus are not even bothering to get informed. Many are hung up on the environmental issue, “Why just bottled water? Why not all beverages packaged in plastic?” while others are hung up on their right to drink and purchase bottled water. Everyone ignores the fact that drinking water should be free and accessible. That was my reason for reviving the campaign at the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) during my mandate as VP Student Affairs during the 2009–10 school year. Accessible and safe drinking water should be available to everyone. If you want to buy bottled water, go for it! But why are you paying more than 400 times the price for something that should be free? And what are you getting? Tap water in a bottle. Tap water that has been sitting idly in a bottle for no one knows how long. Bottled water used to be an emergency resource. Growing up, we kept jugs of water for “just in case” and always drank tap water. The only reason we drink bottled water now is because these mega corporations have conditioned us to believe that: a) we should be drinking much more water than we are; and b) the stuff in the bot-
tle is somehow better than the stuff from the tap. That may have been true in the 80s or 90s, but no more. There are regions all over the world where you cannot drink the tap water. Those people are left to pay ridiculous amounts of money for something that they need to survive. During my six weeks in the Middle East this summer, I spent over $300 Canadian on bottled water because their tap water is not potable. Imagine if that were the case in Ottawa? Water treatment in those areas is not a priority because an “alternative” is available. So yes, you have the right to buy and drink bottled water. But far more people who do not have access to safe drinking water have the right to accessible and safe drinking water. When you buy bottled water, you are telling Coke and Pepsi that it is OK to sell water at more than 400 times the price. We did not take that right away from you. We are simply taking a stand for those that cannot protest without suffering from dehydration, illness or death. Why won’t you stand up with us? Michèle Lamarche Fourth-year medieval and classical studies student Not a boycott, but a ban THE SFUO—IN theory—represents students. Students buy and enjoy bottled water. We know this because they are—or were—sold on campus, indicating demand. In fact, on the university’s Sustainable Development page, it is stated that “bottled water [was] the best selling beverage on campus.” It was also the healthiest. In face of this overwhelming demand for a healthy alternative to Coke or Pepsi, the SFUO decided to spearhead a ban on bottled water. Not a boycott, mind you, in which students would be free to exercise their choice to buy or not buy the apparently controversial beverage, for whatever reasons, and through which debate might emerge on the stated “economic, environmental, and public health” concerns listed on the Sustainable Development site, but a ban—an official prohibition, an imposition of a ridiculous, terribly thought-out case for reducing choice on the entire student body. Stated as its main reason for pursuing the ban, the SFUO argued that “the plastic bottles used produce an immense amount of waste which clogs landfills,” which brings me to my first ‘of course’ of many necessary when addressing the architects of such embarrassing reasoning: Of course, the landfill argument is equally valid for any product sold on campus that produces waste—which, of course, is every product. And of course, all other varieties of bottled beverages will continue to be sold on campus, and bottled water will continue to be sold everywhere else.
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With the ban, the SFUO has heroically managed to bring about the following outcomes: 1. Some students will revert to purchasing substitute products, like Coke or Pepsi, with far greater health consequences. (So much for the public health argument.) 2. Some students will take an extra few minutes to step over to Mac’s or any other retailer off-campus to purchase bottled water. (The ban then represents little more than a useless inconvenience.) 3. Some students will drink more water from water fountains—though, it must be said, not as an exercise of pure choice so much as a lack thereof. Adding insult to injury, the SFUO deemed it necessary to massage its authoritarian measure with the comment that “it’s important to be aware of the consequences that are associated with the product. Only then can we make an informed choice about the water we choose to drink.” Of course, the SFUO did not move for an awareness campaign, but a ban. It did not call for “informed choice”, but no choice at all. Lofty, self-righteous rhetoric aside, the ban represents little more than a restriction on consumer choice—and this by a union that claims it represents the consumers. Chris Spoke Second-year economics student Please stop taking your journalistic cues from Mad Men Re: Following your fees, (News, Sept.16) TO THE WRITERS and design team of the Fulcrum, Upon opening the Fulcrum this past week, we were intrigued to find that the Women’s Resource Centre (WRC) was represented by a logo we had never really considered in the past. As Coordinators of the WRC, we noticed that while Sustainability was represented by an eco-friendly bicycle and Pride with benign paint splotches, our service’s symbol showed exactly what the Fulcrum feels is representative of the women in our community: a string bikini. Interesting indeed, because when we see the strong, intelligent, and confident women of our campus, the words “wet tshirt contest” don’t exactly spring to mind. While the WRC offers services such as non-judgmental peer support, informative resources on sexual health, and actively advocates creating a more equitable campus, perhaps the Fulcrum would rather see women occupying a position that makes their editors feel more comfortable. Since they have already chosen a logo, how about the new title, “Girls’ slumber party for shopping, cooking, and finding a husband”? Now don’t get us wrong—we love a good romantic comedy every once in a
Board of Directors The Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa’s independent, Englishlanguage student newspaper, is published by the Fulcrum Publishing Society (FPS) Inc., a not-for-profit corporation whose members consist of all University of Ottawa students. The Board of Directors (BOD) of the FPS governs all administrative and business actions of the Fulcrum. To contact the BOD, email firstname.lastname@example.org. To contact the FPS ombudsman regarding the Fulcrum’s editorial practices, please email email@example.com. The ombudsman is an impartial party not employed by the corporation who has the power to investigate and pursue a resolution on your behalf.
while, but we wonder if such a focus would contribute to ending the sexual assault that 80 per cent of college-aged women will experience, or the extra barriers and racism newcomer women experience upon arriving to Canada (some of which is perpetrated by the front page of this very newspaper). So thank you, Fulcrum team, for letting the women and men of the University of Ottawa know that you see women and the experiences we face as mere objects worthy of your ridicule. We know that the students of this campus deserve better, and that it might be time for some introspection into your own outdated misogynistic sentiments. Sybille, Georgeanne, Joanne, and Nicole The Women’s Resource Centre Collective SO I WAS sitting around eating my lunch and reading the Fulcrum, and I came across the article that follows our student fees. “Cool,” I thought to myself, “This’ll be good.” Six organizations in, I see that I pay $2.04 to the Women’s Resource Centre, and I see a bikini top as the symbol that is used. I was a tad offended; there are things that make us females other than breasts or how we look in something skimpy. Why not use the actual logo for the Women’s Resource Centre that strives be a place where all women on campus can get support that is tailored to women. It may not seem like a big deal, but in our super-PC country, I know we don’t want to objectify anyone. The refugee student section was just splotches of colour to keep the idea neutral. I’m just sayin’. Rée Allen Second-year translation student
contents Chartwells’ Change 5 The cafeteria now has a new look, and different food options
Tyler Shendruk talks to a U of O researcher who explains how to predict species diversity
U of O students aim to increase science literacy with peer-reviewed podcast
Got something to say? Send your letters to firstname.lastname@example.org Letters deadline: Sunday at 1 p.m. Letters must be under 400 words unless discussed with the editor-in-chief. Drop off letters at 631 King Edward Ave. or email email@example.com. Letters must include your name, telephone number, year, and program of study. Pseudonyms may be used after consultation with the editor-in-chief. We correct spelling and grammar to some extent. The Fulcrum will exercise discretion in printing letters that are deemed racist, homophobic, or sexist.
Need more Di? Check out her blog at thefulcrum.ca
A valuable victory 17 Women’s rugby team scores in dying minutes to win home opener
Robot Revolution 20 Hisham Kelati explores the creation of artificial intelligence and what that means for the future of the human race
Another late bloomer and a bit of a bushy problem 22 Di Daniels tells you everything you need to know about sex and relationships
thethryllabus Music Sept. 23, 30: Full Flavour with DJs Matty and The Retardinator at Zaphod Beeblebrox (27 York St.) Sept. 29: PopScene with DJ Emmett at Zaphod Beeblebrox (27 York St.) Sept. 23, 24: The Escher Quartet plays at National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 12 p.m. Sept. 23: Winter Gloves album release party at Maverick’s (221 Rideau St.), 8 p.m. Sept. 24: Galaxy plays Maverick’s (221 Rideau St.) Sept. 24–Oct. 2: O-Town Hoedown runs throughout Ottawa Sept. 24: Mozart’s Serenade plays at the National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 8 p.m. Sept. 25: The Concerto According to Pinchas, Live! plays at the National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 8 p.m. Sept. 25: Band Madison and Fifth plays Zaphod Beeblebrox (27 York St.) Sept. 25: Flute Master Class Marc Grauwels in Freiman Hall (room 121) of Pérez Building (610 Cumberland St.), 2 p.m. Sept. 26: Third Ottawa Community Record Show at St. Anthony’s Hall (523 St. Anthony St.), 11 a.m. Sept. 26: Anti-Flag, The Mezingers, and Vulgaires Machins play Ritual nightclub (137 Besserer St.), 7 p.m. Sept. 29: A Piano Celebration plays at the National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 8 p.m. Sept. 30: Mozart’s Triple Crown plays at the National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 8 p.m. Oct. 2: Holy Fuck plays Capital Music Hall (128 York St.), 8 p.m. Oct. 3: Library Voices and Paper Lions play Café Dekcuf (221 Rideau St.), 8 p.m. Oct. 10: Hot Hot Heat and Hey Rosetta play Capital Music Hall (128 York St.), 8 p.m. Oct. 14: Voice master class with Bernard Turgeon in Freiman Hall (room 121) of Pérez Building (610 Cumberland St.), 4:30 p.m. Oct. 15: Ok Go plays Capital Music Hall (128 York St.), 8 p.m. Oct. 16: Piano master class with Angela Hewitt in Freiman Hall (room 121) of Pérez Building (610 Cumberland St.), 2 p.m. Theatre Now–Sept. 25: Someone For Everyone by GATD Caplan runs at the Arts Court Theatre (2 Daly Ave.), 8 p.m.
Now–Oct. 2: Crossing Delancey by Susan Sandler runs at the Ottawa Little Theatre (400 King Edward Ave.), 8 p.m. Sept. 28–Oct. 2: Les Justes runs at the National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.), 7:30 p.m. Oct. 16: Music Soup by Jen Gould debuts at Arts Court Theatre (2 Daly Ave.), 9 a.m. Workshops & Lectures Sept. 23: “Student Seminar on Organic Chemistry” in room 214 of D’Iorio Hall, 1 p.m. Sept. 23: Lectures “What can the North Atlantic and Europe learn from the Indian conception of secularism?” with Rajeev Bhargava and “Multiculturalism, Religious Pluralism and the Secularization of the Canadian State” with Peter Beyer in room 129 of Simard Hall, 3 p.m. Sept. 23: Seminar on tapping into resources that ease your quest for success in room 401 of Fauteux Hall, 5:30 p.m. Sept. 24: “Multiculturalism in Retreat” lectures by Melissa Williams and Gurpreet Mahajan in room 125 of Simard Hall, 4 p.m. Sept. 27: “Canadian Radio Star New Songwriters Workshop” at the Mayfair Theatre (1074 Bank St.), 6 p.m. Sept. 28: “Networking: Preparing for the Public Sector” career fair in room 390 of Lamoureux Hall, 2:30 p.m. Sept. 28: “Accenture Information Session” in room 333 of Tabaret Hall, 5:30 p.m. Sept. 28: “Indian and Northern Affairs Canada” information session in room 226 in Marion Hall, 10 a.m. Sept. 30: “An Evening with Author Mary Di Michele” in room A of Library and Archives Canada (395 Wellington St.), 7 p.m. Oct. 4: “Work and Study Abroad Workshop” in room 390 of Lamoureux Hall, 2:30 p.m. Oct. 5: “Let’s Talk Sex” with renowned sex therapist Sue Johanson in the Alumni Auditorium of 90U, 8 p.m. Oct. 6: “Greenberg Speakers Series” lecture in room 351 of Fauteux Hall, 11:30 a.m. Oct. 6: Workshop on how to prepare for graduate studies or for a career in medicine in room 125 of 90U, 4 p.m.
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
want your event listed on the thryllabus? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Oct. 14: CanTeach information session in room 205 of 90U, 4 p.m. Visual Art Now–Sept. 26: Angela Grauerholz: The Inexhaustible Image exhibition reaches its end at the National Gallery (380 Sussex Dr.)—an awesome exhibition with only limited viewing time left. Now–Sept. 26: Louis Helbig’s Beautiful Destruction exhibition of aerial photographs taken above the Alberta tar sands runs at the City Hall Art Gallery (110 Laurier Ave. W.) Sept. 24: At Land’s End conference and photographic presentation hosted by David Trattles at Arts Court (2 Daly Ave.), 12:30 p.m. Sept. 24–Oct. 7: EXILENTIA EXIFF: Lost Femininities exhibit runs at La Petite Mort (306 Cumberland St.), 7 p.m. Oct. 4: “The Walk of Arts” painting competition outside 90U, 10 a.m.
Sept. 25: Inaugural unveiling of the Pillars of the Faculty of Arts in the courtyard between Arts and Simard Hall, 1:30 p.m.
Sept. 29: Absolute Comedy “Pros and Amateurs” night at Tailgators (1642 Merivale Rd.), 8:30 p.m.
Sept. 27–Oct. 1: “Right to Know” Week
Sept. 29: Health Promotion’s Monthly Café at the Agora in 90U, 5 p.m.
Sept. 23–26: 147th Annual Carp Fair at the Carp fairgrounds (3790 Carp Rd.) Sept. 25: “Walk for Smiles Ottawa” in support of the Starlight Children’s Foundation Canada, 10 a.m at Dow’s Lake Pavillion. Online registration forms available at starlightcanada.ca
Sept. 29: “Rally for Action on the Global AIDS Crisis” at Parliament Hill, 11:30 a.m. Oct. 7: Engineering and High Tech Career Fair throughout SITE, 10 a.m.
sept.23–oct.23 Events on campus
Oct. 8: “One Night Only” exhibit event with work by Batya Cavens at La Petite Mort (306 Cumberland St.), 7 p.m. Film
Tomorrow’s Professionals Apply Today!
Sept. 24: Legend of the Guardians: The Owl of Ga’Hoole released to theatres Sept. 25: American Grindhouse plays at the Mayfair Theatre (1074 Bank St.), 11:30 p.m.
Sept. 28: Teenage Paparazzo plays at the Bytowne Cinema (325 Rideau St.), 9:20 p.m.
September 15, 2010: Last day to create an account for the online application October 1, 2010: Application deadline
Ontario Medical School Application Service
Sept. 29, Oct. 6, 13: German Film Series in room 359 of Fauteux, 8 p.m.
Sept. 29, 30: Mesrine: Public Enemy No. 1 play at the Bytowne Cinema (325 Rideau St.), 9:15 p.m.
Oct. 1: Savage Beach plays at the Mayfair Theatre (1074 Bank St.), 11:15 p.m. Oct. 8: Life As We Know It released to theatres
www.ouac.on.ca/olsas/ Ontario Law School Application Service November 1, 2010: Application deadline for ﬁrst-year English programs May 1, 2011: Application deadline for upper-year programs
Oct. 1: The Social Network released to theatres
Teacher Education Application Service December 1, 2010: Application deadline for English programs March 1, 2011: Application deadline for French programs
Oct. 9, 10: Jack Goes Boating plays at the Bytowne Cinema (325 Rideau St.), 7:00 p.m. Oct. 15: Jackass 3D released to theatres Comedy
Oct. 7: “Post Secular” with James K. A. Smith at the Agora in the Unicentre, 12 p.m.
Sept. 23: Norm Macdonald plays at the Bronson Center (211 Bronson Ave.), 7 p.m.
Oct. 7: “Beyond A/Theism: Postmodernity and the futre of God” with James K. A. Smith in Freiman Hall, Perez building, 7 p.m.
Sept. 25: Improv Night with comedy troupe Insensitivity Training at Yuk Yuk’s (292 Elgin St.), 9 p.m.
Oct. 12: “Lunch-Talk” with U of O Ombudsperson Lucie Allaire in room 147 of Fauteux Hall, 11:30 a.m.
Sept. 27: “Open Mic Monday” at Absolute Comedy (412 Preston St.), 8:30 p.m.
Sept. 26: Fraser Young, Monty Scott, and Jordan Chyzkowsi at Absolute Comedy (412 Preston St.), 8 p.m.
Ontario Rehabilitation Sciences Programs Application Service (Audiology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy/Physiotherapy, Speech-Language Pathology)
January 7, 2011: Application deadline
170 Research Lane Guelph ON N1G 5E2 www.ouac.on.ca
NEWS EDITOR Katherine DeClerq | email@example.com | (613) 562 5260
Chartwells makes changes Food Services increases quality and options in cafeteria Katrina Medwenitsch | Fulcrum Staff
HANGE IS IN the air— in the main cafeteria in the University Centre, at least. Within the past six months, Chartwells, partnered with the University of Ottawa’s Food Services, has implemented numerous changes to both their menu and décor. The changes to the cafeteria include a variety of new venue options such as Quiznos, Bento Nouveau, a fresh pasta bar, and Vietnamese Noodle Bowl (PHO). In addition, there has been an added selection of foods in the On the Go refrigerator section and the soup station, as well as an increase in vegetarian and vegan meal options. “We changed the décor to make it more appealing and warm,” explained Patrick Genest, manager of Food Services in an email to the Fulcrum. “We have installed 20 multimedia screens dedicated to just food services across strategic campus locations.” Genest believes that these changes are a major turning point for Food Services, especially since they have admitted to falling short in quality and pricing dur-
ing the previous school year. “Our latest surveys that have been conducted over the last three weeks have shown marked improvement in student satisfaction; our latest score put us at 82 per cent satisfaction rate,” said Genest. Chartwells’ contract is up next summer. Regardless, Food Services has continued to implement changes that they believe will make students more satisfied with their service. “We want students to enjoy eating on campus, having nutritious options that fit their lifestyle, and making those options to fit their schedules,” he said. Over the past year, Chartwells has not been popular among students, frequently coming under attack for high pricing and limited menu selections. Ted Horton, vp university affairs at the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa and longtime advocate of changing food services, admits that the renovations give the cafeteria a more comfortable atmosphere, but he hopes that the prices will become the next major focus. “[Chartwells has] a number of quality food options, but there’s very little on campus in the way of directly affordable food for students who want to grab something quick and cheap.”
photo by Marie Hoekstra
CHARTWELLS’ CHANGE The cafeteria’s new décor creates a homey atmosphere
According to Genest, the pricing of the food will not be able to change substantially due to the competitive nature of the business. Th is includes the funding of new equipment, culinary programs, and new food outlets. “Pricing will always be an issue,” said Genest. “Food Services is not subsidized by the university and therefore we must have pricing comparable to the market. All revenue generated by Food Services is automatically reinvested in food services across campus.” Horton warned that the new additions are only one phase of necessary change, and that while the cafeteria may look new and improved, there is still more to be done. “There are two types of changes. There’s the face level ones and structural ones. [The cafeteria] has made changes on the visible level in terms of how many sandwiches there are, but structurally it is still [in] the same place as it was last year.” Genest agreed that Food Services has more work to do, and plans on developing new offerings come January 2011. “Can we do better? Of course. Th is is just the beginning of the change in food service across campus.” f
University appoints ombudsperson After a twenty year campaign, Lucie Allaire becomes the U of O’s first impartial party Briana Hill | Fulcrum Staff
ON SEPT. 1, Lucie Allaire assumed office as the University of Ottawa’s first ombudsperson. This position has been an initiative of the university since 1990, and has fi nally been implemented this year. As part of her mandate as ombudsperson, Allaire will act as an independent and impartial chair through which members of the university community can pursue fair appeals for universityrelated concerns. “I don’t replace any recourse [of appeal],” explained Allaire. “I will be working with… the people responsible for the [Student Appeal Centre], as well as the Centre for the Prevention of Harassment and Discrimination.” The ombudsperson can make recommendations for an appeal, but cannot force a party to change their decision. However, Allaire hopes that there will always be room to make compromises. “[I] would look for the most informal
solution [I] can fi nd ... I envisage working with people to fi nd a solution that can actually work.” The ombudsperson initiative has been 20 years in the making and has been supported by both the administration and the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO). “There was a referendum on the subject in 1990,” said Ted Horton, vp university affairs of the SFUO. “We’ve been advocating it for quite a while, and when President Rock came into office, he made it one of the things that he was actively engaged in making occur.” The representation on the Advisory Committee to the ombudsperson is split evenely between students and the administration, consisting of four student members—two representatives each fromthe SFUO and the Graduate Student Association (GSAÉD)—and four university members. It was established that Allaire embodied the ideal qualities of an impartial
photo courtesy of the U o O
ALLAIRE POSES FOR THE CAMERA New ombudsperson for the U of O
party toward these legal discussions, and that she would contribute to the legitimacy of the appeal process. “The student associations and the university all had the same principles we were looking for [in] the candidate; we had the same desires for the ombudsperson as a neutral arbitrator who would help to ensure fair treatment and fair play on campus,” explained Horton. The benefits of this position have been identified by the SFUO and GSAÉD with the hope that students will not be afraid to use it. “Individual students [need to] know that there’s somewhere to go to after they’ve exhausted their ability to appeal,” explained Horton. “There is a chance to work in collaboration with all of the services that work on student rights ... so that [they] can share data and pinpoint systemic issues on campus.” In order to fund this position, the budget for the ombudsperson was split evenly between the university administration
and the SFUP and GSAÉD. Caroline Bouchard, university affairs commissioner for GSAÉD, explained that the ombudsperson will be completely geared towards the U of O’s concerns, specifically policy-making positions. “Right now we don’t want the ombudsperson to be something set in stone, or based on another university. It really has to be reflecting the reality of the University of Ottawa, which is a very politicized campus.” Allaire is excited to begin this new position, and hopes that she can be beneficial to both the student body and the university administration simultaneously. “I’ve been really welcomed. I really feel that the time was right for the university to have this position.” f The office of the ombudsperson is located on the third floor of the University Centre, in room 307. The office can be reached at (613) 562-5800 ext. 5342, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
6 | news
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
Student Refugee Program expands New funding means more students welcomed to U of O Amanda McCambridge | Fulcrum Contributor
OR THE FIRST time since its inception in to the University of Ottawa in 1988, the U of O Student Refugee Program (SRP) welcomed two students to the nation’s capital for the 2010-11 academic year. The SRP is facilitated by the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa and the university’s Local Committee of the World University Service of Canada (WUSC), an organization whose mission is to promote human development and global awareness. “[WUSC] brings together Canadian colleges and universities through a number of development projects such as the Student Refugee Program, which supports students fleeing war or persecution in developing countries in order to con-
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Confessions of an Intramural Addict The Fulcrum interviews one of the University’s most prolific intramural players
Turandot Ottawa’s Opera Lyra does it again
tinue their studies in Canada,” explained Michèle Lamarche, media and communications coordinator for SRP, and project manager of the WUSC Local Committee. The U of O proposed referendum questions in 1988, and again in 1999, where it was agreed that a levy would be initiated to support the program. This funding has allowed the SRP to sponsor one refugee student per year. In 2009, the University of Ottawa administration implemented a tuition bursary in order to increase the number of students admitted, facilitating two years worth of financial support. This removed some of the burden from the SRP Fund, offering more refugee students the opportunity to receive a university education. “The university is taking a more active role in the sponsorship. It demonstrates that [the administration] cares about the program and its sustainability,” said La-
Once a sponsored student arrives at [the U of O], the local committee helps with everything from registering for courses, opening a bank account, finding a place to live, and employment. The committee is their support system. —Michèle Lamarche
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marche. Although financial support is an integral part of the SRP sponsorship process, the program provides much more than just bursaries. Lamarche explained that the program is also meant to help students get settled in and thinking about the future. “Once a sponsored student arrives at [the university], the Local Committee helps with everything from registering for courses, opening a bank account, finding a place to live, and employment. The committee is their support system.” Eric Habinshudi, a Rwandan refugee who arrived last month from a Dzaleka Refugee Camp in Malawi, has become one of the sponsored students admitted to the U of O this year. According to Habinshudi, the services the SRP provide have been extremely helpful with his transition to university life.
“My experience [with SRP] has been too helpful. They give me school support, [tell me] how to find books … and also some emotional [support], like counseling,” said Habinshudi. While growing interest in the SRP has helped the program expand, the WUSC Local Committee is always looking for volunteers and local support. “I think everybody should be cooperative in assisting this program. It is difficult that so many people can not go to school,” explained Habinshudi. “I know not everybody is interested in helping refugees, but those who can manage it should try.” f The WUSC Local Committee holds bi-weekly meetings that are open to the public. For more information on these meetings, other WUSC initiatives, and ways to get involved, contact email@example.com.
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thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
news | 7
between the lines Katherine DeClerq News Editor
Enough with the politics THE FULCRUM IS only on its fourth issue and the news section has been hit with a swarm of politics—and I don’t mean the upcoming municipal elections. Rather, it is full of evasive and politically correct comments, statements, and points of view. Nowadays, society is so scared of saying something that contradicts someone else’s beliefs that we end up not saying anything worthwhile. Th is is especially true on a university campus as politically charged as ours—one that judges everybody’s words so harshly and has the ability to alter them to suit their own ends. If the administration mentions its disapproval of a person’s political statements, for example, it can, and probably will, be percieved as an attack on free speech or the right to protest. It’s like bad karma: everything you say can come back to
haunt you. And this is unfortunate. I can tell you that it’s difficult to maintain a transparent and informative news section when everybody thinks in this fashion. Yes, we live in a tolerant society, and I am proud to be part of it. But when this obsession with political correctness and carefully constructed talking points discourages people from speaking the truth—honestly and openly— is it worth it to speak at all? I can’t count the number of times in my career that someone has given me a carefully crafted statement when responding to a question—and it is utterly frustrating. I’ve had people answer questions without actually providing any information: people who supply information that place blame elsewhere; and those who skip questions entirely. They are afraid of being scrutinized, and
therefore afraid to tell the truth. Being evasive or reserved can seem like the way out of a sticky situation, but in reality, it is just a way of stifl ing your own thoughts and opinions. Although it may cause confl ict, owning up to a decision makes up for it. It not only looks good on your part, but it means that you believe in informing the public and being true to your word. So, the next time I call you, I expect a truthful answer. No political bullshit or evasive tactics—because I have had quite enough of them. Honesty is always worth the risk. Besides, if we can’t speak our minds, what is the point of living in this free, multicultural, and tolerant society? firstname.lastname@example.org (613) 562 5260
What’s he building in there? Profiles in science at the U of O
news briefS International students able to apply for permanent residency TORONTO (CUP)—ON SEPT. 14, the provincial government announced that international students with a master’s degree will be able to apply for permanent residency in Ontario under the “Opportunities Ontario: Provincial Nominee” program. In order to be accepted, the student must be proficient in at least one of Canada’s official languages and have lived in Ontario for the past 12 months. The changes are part of the Open Ontario Plan, an initiative that is aimed at increasing the number of international students in the province by 50 per cent. —Alexandra Posadzki, CUP Ontario Bureau Chief Rabbits being trapped at University of Victoria VICTORIA (CUP)—THE UNIVERSITY OF Victoria has been trapping rabbits on campus in an effort to bring the population of 1,600 down to 200. In May, 104 rabbits caught by the university were euthanized—an act that caused animal activists to take legal action and bring the university to court. After an appeal, the university was allowed to capture the animals humanely. The rabbits are currently brought to sanctuaries approved by the B.C. Ministry of Environment to await adoption. Animal activists say they will continue to monitor the university on this matter. —Danielle Pope, CUP Western Bureau Chief Campaign lobbies for a decrease in international students’ tuition fees
Tomorrow’s butterflies Tyler Shendruk | Fulcrum Contributor
The problem WORLDWIDE SHIFTS IN land use and global climate change are transforming the environment at a concerning pace. Only recently have scientists become aware of just how significant the impact of our actions has been. Average global temperatures have risen sharply over the past few decades, in addition to the loss of natural habitats by conversion into agriculturally cultivated land. Intuitively, it is clear that such intense environmental changes will have repercussions that increase extinction rates, but the world’s ecosystems are complicated, and predicting how species diversity responds to climate change is no easy matter. Improving conservation and recovering endangered species requires accurate predictions of future shifts in biodiversity.
The researcher Jeremy Kerr’s lab, the Canadian Facility for Ecoinformatics Research, is located in the Biosciences complex on campus. There he researches changes in biodiversity across entire continents rather than in any one, local ecosystem. Th is means that he deals with enormous amounts of information, requiring him to be on the forefront of ecoinformatics, the science of information in ecology. The project In order to test whether he can accurately predict future changes in biodiversity over larger areas, Kerr pretended to go back in time. He used a macroecological computer model to predict gradients in butterfly diversity over the entire 20th century. By comparing the predicted richness in butterfly species to actual historical records of 139 species, Kerr was able to judge the predictive power of his model.
The key Starting from the year 1900 and inputting historical data sets on climate, elevation, land cover, and human population density, Kerr was able to accurately simulate how butterfly diversity changed across Canada throughout the 20th century. In northerly areas, butterfly diversity increased while at lower latitudes it decreased. Th is observation suggests that macroecological theory can indeed forecast where species will be found well into the future. The ability to predict how species diversity will respond to climate change could improve conservation planning in the 21st century. f
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ST JOHN’S (CUP)—THE AVERAGE INTERNATIONAL student faces tuition fees over three times what a Canadian student is expected to pay, a difference that forces them to pay $16,768 per year as opposed to the average $5,138. Daniel Smith, chairperson for the Canadian Federation of Students in Newfoundland and Labrador, is working on a campaign called “Fund the Future”, which calls for a reduction in both domestic and international student fees with the goal of establishing a parity system. Newfoundland and Labrador’s education minister, Darin King, supports the fee discrepancy on the grounds that international students do not qualify as federal or provincial tax payers. —Kenny Sharpe, The Muse Canadian tuition on the rise OTTAWA (CUP)—ACCORDING TO STATISTICS Canada, university tuition in Canada rose another four per cent this year, a 3.6 per cent increase from last year. Ontario universities posted the largest increase at 5.4 per cent for undergrads and 10.6 per cent for grad students. The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations and the Canadian Federation of Students have both called for increased funding from the federal government to combat the rising fees and plan to lobby Parliament this fall. With these increases, the average Ontario undergraduate will pay $6,307 a year in tuition. —Emma Godmere, CUP Ottawa Bureau Chief Students may absorb increased copyright fees EDMONTON, TORONTO (CUP)—ACCESS COPYRIGHT, A Canadian copyright provider, is proposing to raise the cost of copyright licences due to increased use of digital media in universities. The University of Alberta explained that this would boost their costs from $700,000 to almost $1.9 million each year. The fee would be charged to the universities, who would then decide whether or not to pass on the cost to students. Students and administrations across Canada are working to oppose the change, but it could take up to three years for a decision from the Copyright Board of Canada. —Lee Richardson, The Eyeopener & Simon Yackulic, The Gateway
8 | news
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
Women’s Chair files grievance Carleton and U of O Joint Chair not renewed for second year Briana Hill | Fulcrum Staff
DR. AGNES WHITFIELD of York University took the position of Joint Chair in Women’s Studies at the University of Ottawa and Carleton University on July 1, 2009. After struggling for a year to work within an office facing serious fi nancial and administrative woes, Whitfield’s contract was not renewed for a second year. “I believe that I wasn’t renewed because I expressed serious concerns about how the chair was organized,” said Whitfield.
photo by Christopher King
The position of Joint Chair in Women’s Studies was established in 1985 with an endowment fund from the federal government. As part of her responsibilities, Whitfield taught one course each at Carleton and the University of Ottawa, in addition to performing research on women’s studies with faculty members
and students from both universities. The operational budget of the chair, however, is sustained by the interest generated from the 1985 endowment fund, and consequently is under fi nancial strains. “The problem is that the endowment is not rich enough and the rate of interest now is so low that it cannot [properly] fi nance the chair,” explained François Houle, vp academic and provost at the U of O. As a result of these low interest rates, Whitfield’s mandate included fundraising and focusing on improving the position’s visibility. However, when she attempted to do so, she found that the administrative structure behind the Joint Women’s Chair was not giving her the freedom to fundraise and do her research, as per their agreement. “I spoke personally to some 50 colleag ues—women colleagues from both institutions— and found out the chair was basically not functioning.” When Whitfield began her incumbency, she found that the adminis-
We’re not all quacks.
trative infrastructure was basically nonexistent. According to Whitfield, there were no previous annual fi nancial reports in her office to explain the chair’s serious condition. After making cost-saving recommendations regarding the administrative structure of the chair—which included the decrease in working hours of the fulltime administrator to the chair—Whitfield’s competency came into question. “When faced with someone from the outside who said, ‘Look, you’re having trouble fi nancially with this situation;
I’m questioning some of your decisions and how the chair is being managed’... the reaction of the university was to try to discredit me, push me into a corner, and not renew me, hoping I’d resign,” said Whitfield. However, both universities insisted that her contract was not renewed strictly due to fi nancial reasons. “The main reason … we did not renew her contract [is] that both institutes and both faculties decided that, with the small amount of money that they had, and the fact that they wanted someone full-time, they should, for the next four or five years, move with a holder of the chair that would be either from Carleton or Ottawa,” explained Houle. Whitfield maintained that the financial reasons for her nonrenewal were absurd, especially since she was forbidden to fundraise and increase the profit of the chair. Whitfield has fi led a grievance through York University against the University of Ottawa and Carleton University calling for her reinstatement as chair. She has also called for an inquiry from the Canadian Association of University Teachers. f
Women hold only 24.14 per cent of the research chairs at the University of Ottawa, and only 20.83 per cent at Carleton University. The national average of women holding research chairs is 25.17 per cent 1 of 11 Deans at the University of Ottawa are women—the Dean of the Faculty of Education.
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art s&culture Peer Review Radio ARTS & CULTURE Charlotte Bailey | firstname.lastname@example.org | (613) 562 5931
brings science to airwaves
Students dedicated to making science accessible Samantha Graitson | Fulcrum Contributor
Photo courtesy Peer Review Radio
PEER REVIEW RADIO TEAM From left to right: Michael Lynn, Manon Ragonnet, Adrian Ebsary (lying), Tracey Doyle.
WITH THE DAYS of Ms. Frizzle and Bill Nye behind us, students are at a serious loss for broadcasting that is entertaining as well as informative on the complicated subject of science—but not for long. In an attempt to revive science journalism on campus, Adrian Ebsary became the founder and director of Peer Review Radio, a new radio show on 89.1 CHUO fm. As a master’s student in biochemistry at the University of Ottawa, Ebsary hopes Peer Review Radio will promote scientific literacy in a way that doesn’t require the audience to have a degree in science to understand or enjoy the show. “The most substantial value science has is to instill rationality into our culture and allow us to use knowledge effectively,” says Ebsary. Peer Review Radio is dedicated to making science accessible to the general population, and to training science students in communication. The team consists of four “Peers” who oversee the editing and production of the show, and approximately 30 student members of the “Review Crew” who are responsible for preparing questions and conducting interviews with leading scientists. The undergraduate and graduate members present a variety of scientific topics of interest to most people, ranging from the biology of binge drinking to the neuroscience behind music. In order for science content to compete with more sensational topics, the 23-year-old believes that science needs to use all forms of media. In addition to personally preparing musical accompaniment to their shows, Peer Review Radio has harnessed the power of Facebook,
Twitter, and online podcasts to promote their show. They already have over 300 Facebook and Twitter followers. “Podcasts are the most easily accessible form of passive information absorption,” Ebsary says. “We can prepare a four-minute clip that is funny, interesting, and easy to digest.” The process of creating a radio show has been difficult, but highly rewarding for the “Peers” and “Review Crew”. Ebsary admits that sound editing can be laborious for someone with no prior experience, but feels the positive reception he’s received from his colleagues makes it worth it. “It’s incredible how willing scientists are to give interviews,” he says, “and it’s a really positive experience to see how many researchers and students want to make their field accessible and inclusive.” Ebsary hopes that, with the help of Peer Review Radio, public perception of scientists will shift as the issue of scientific illiteracy is addressed. “So often [scientists] are portrayed as the bad guy who will pursue knowledge at any cost. Very few of us have a vested interest in destroying the world—certainly no more than the rest of the population,” he jokes. Ebsary feels that the show will provide something for everyone, because of the importance of science to everyone’s lives. “Science is inherently important because we all want to live our lives more effectively,” he explains. “Whether we want to be healthy, or be more effective in our daily lives, different areas of science cover it all.” f To learn more, or to listen to episodes of Peer Review Radio, visit their website at peerreviewradio.com.
Chuck D launches virtual forum Rap artist encourages students to volunteer Danielle Vicha | Fulcrum Contributor
n Sept. 28, students will have an opportunity to be motivated by public speaker and long-time advocate of social change, Carlton Ridenhour. Better known by his stage name Chuck D, and as a member of the socially conscious hip-hop group Public Enemy, he will be giving a talk entitled Rap, Race and Reality. “He is definitely an inspiration,” says Julie Séguin, project leader for the virtual forum. “Chuck D has had a long career in hip-hop that has a passion for issues, human rights, and political social change.” “What Chuck D is going to be sharing with us is how his music was a way
to bring change to his community,” says Séguin. Chuck D will talk about issues he has encountered personally: racism and injustice in the political system. This speech will be launched as a part of the Centre For Global and Community Service’s new initiative for University of Ottawa students—In the Service of Others. This initiative aims to have students, faculty, and administration at the U of O volunteering on campus, in the community, and around the world. However, before launching In the Service of Others, the Centre for Global and Community Service will be launching a virtual forum to develop the organization’s roles and core values on campus. “We want our mandate to reflect the stu-
dents’, staffs’, and professors’ interests,” says Séguin. “Everyone has a way to inspire social change, whether you’re a doctor, a musician, a politician, or developing a marketing plan for a small NGO.” In the Service of Others’ virtual forum will be an interactive way for the centre to receive feedback from those who will use their services. “The forum is a blog with four different themes,” says Séguin. “People can write a comment and give feedback to help build the centre.” This is a unique opportunity to engage the public and, according to Séguin, it is the first open consultation conducted online before a service is formed on the University of Ottawa campus. The virtual forum will be launched after a presentation demonstrating what In the Ser-
vice of Others hopes to achieve. “After the presentation, we go back to the students and ask, ‘What do you think we can do, as students, to give back to the community?’” she explains. “We will have information about opportunities available for students from different faculties on how they can get involved.” Seguin notes that many students would like to volunteer with community groups to gain working knowledge, but may not find the time to do so with their studies. The centre will offer services that will allow students to apply their volunteer work as school credit. “The new centre will offer all of the programs on campus in one central location, offering services and information on in-
ternational internships, grassroots initiatives, and community-based research,” she says. “It will facilitate the community service learning with different departments within the university allowing students to gain credit through volunteering in their related field.” “This is a way for the university to expand its mission,” says Séguin. “In a way, the university is adding a new sphere that will include [this] service. Students do not have to wait three or four [years] to apply their studies; they can do it now, and get credit for it.” Students, professors and staff can participate in the virtual forum Sept. 28–Oct. 5. Chuck D will speak at the Agora in the University Centre at 2:30 p.m, Sept. 28. f
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University of Ottawa
Let us know what you think! Participate in our Virtual Forum from September 28 to October 5. www.intheserviceofothers.uOttawa.ca What's it all about?
We want to hear what you have to say about In the Service of Others, an exciting new initiative that provides: • Volunteering opportunities • International internships • Community-based research projects • Community service learning
What does community service mean to you?
Which volunteering opportunities would enrich your academic experience?
What support can we provide to serve you better?
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
arts&culture | 11
featured review Mesrine: Public Enemy No. 1
A WITH BANK ROBBERIES, gratuitous violence, and multiple jailbreaks, Mesrine: Public Enemy No. 1 is a film designed to keep any action lover on the edge of their seat. This film is based on the life of notorious French gangster Jacques Mesrine (Vincent Cassel), and recounts his exploits in 1970s France. Cassel gives a compelling performance in the lead role, highlighting Mesrine’s struggle to balance his life of crime with his longing to be in the spotlight. Like any good gangster flick, it has plenty of blood, sex, and profanity, but—for those of us with weaker stomachs—this is balanced with a few intimate and personal scenes that give the audience an idea of why this charismatic criminal was so popular in his day. The movie runs at the Bytowne Cinema from Sept. 24–30, and is definitely worth checking out. —Amanda McCambridge
Going the Distance
DREW BARRYMORE AND Justin Long star in the romantic comedy aptly-named Going the Distance. The plot revolves around couple Erin and Garrett who shuttle between New York City and San Francisco in the pursuit of maintaining a long distance relationship. Although there are a few memorable moments throughout the film, there were seldom any laughout-loud scenes. Cheesy, cliché romantic stereotypes were delivered awkwardly, giving audiences all the sappy parts without the cuteness that often plagues romantic comedies. That, coupled with underdeveloped supporting characters, made for a wholly forgettable film that clearly did not spend enough time in the editing room. All in all, Going the Distance is a slightly below-average romantic comedy whose predictability makes it a movie not worth going the distance for. —Sofi a Hashi
IF YOU LIKE blood, guts, and gore, mixed with political satire and more than a little nudity, then check out this film. Written and directed by Robert Rodriguez, the movie follows a former “Mexican Federale” as he is betrayed and his family is murdered. Three years later, while living illegally in America, Machete (Danny Trejo) is betrayed again when he is hired to assassinate anti-immigration extremist Senator McLaughlin—the rest of the plot follows Machete’s revenge. The cast includes heavy-hitters such as Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, and Cheech Marin. Also featured are Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Lindsay Lohan—all of whom end up sleeping with Machete. Originally a spoof trailer for Tarantino’ and Rodrigez’s Grindhouse film, Machete uses over-the-top violence, an exaggerated body count, and cheesy sex scenes to parody other “grindhouse” films. Machete also tries to be politically satirical; however, these intellectual scenes don’t mesh well with the comical nature of the rest of the film, and leave much to be desired. The movie is frustratingly unrealistic at times, but, beyond that, can be quite entertaining. —Kiera Obbard
Easy A A+ ALMOST EVERYONE CAN relate to the experiences of foul gossip, exaggerated stories, and the term “slut” being used far too liberally in high school. Easy A is the tale of a girl who doesn’t actually earn the title of uber-slut that she’s given by her peers. The ultimate people-pleaser, protagonist Olive (Emma Stone) tries to mask the lack of game, and in some cases, homosexuality, of her male friends by pretending to sleep with them. Other than the bizarre premise—I’ve never known anyone who so desperately wanted to destroy her reputation just so that her friends wouldn’t suffer—this film was really enjoyable. Hilarious and cringe-worthy moments distinguished it from standard comedies. The casting was fantastic; I’ve yet to meet adult characters that I liked more, who deviated from the typecasts of being “good and cute” or “mean and evil.” Laugh-out-loud moments, awkward scenarios, and the brutally honest account of what high school is like for girls all easily made Easy A an A+. —Charlotte Bailey
Character Chaos: The Ultmate literary showdown 12 | features
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
features | 13
Compiled by Jaclyn Lytle | Fulcrum Staff
ERE AT THE Fulcrum, we are all about epic. We love our conflicts, showdowns, faceoffs, and head-to-heads, and if there’s one thing you can count on us for, it’s taking things to the next level. From superheroes to radical rocks, the pages of our paper have hosted many a blown-up battle and, in the interest of tradition, we’ve decided to bring you another. Courtesy of our most literary ladies and well-read rogues, we present you with the ultimate showdown of fictional characters. Who has the most to bring to the table? Who will present the best case? Who, of all the literary heroes before you, will ultimately come out on top? Can’t wait to find out? Then read on, students, read on.
A gun-toting badass
Can’t touch this
Strong and sassy
Defining Post-apocalyptic morality
Hailing from the pages of Bill Willingham’s graphic novel Fables, Goldilocks has left behind her porridge-eating days to become a wild political agitator and assassin. Despite her sweet appearance, Goldilocks is homicidal and powerhungry—with the skills to match. She is stealthy and unabashedly violent, but also extremely patient and purely Machiavellian in her methods. While leading an army of fairy tale beasts in a revolution against the nowevil Snow White, Goldilocks was shacking up with a full-grown grizzly bear, proving her sexual predilections are as extreme as her political beliefs. She is adept at hunting and tracking her enemies through the wilderness, and is highly skilled with all manner of fi rearms. She eliminates rivals both human and beast alike with sheer ruthlessness—like when she memorably fi lled the Big Bad Wolf with shotgun shells before preparing to set him on fi re. Most importantly, ntly, her status as a much-beloved Fable grants her near-immortality, making her damn near impossible ble to kill. On one occasion, she takes an n axe blade to the skull before being knocked nocked off a cliff then hit by a truck off another other cliff into a river. Goldilocks survives, vives, proving that she is the ultimate mate literary badass, ready to take ake on whoever stands in her way. —Chelsea Edgell
Homer’s Iliad was one of the most popular epics in classical antiquity, setting the standard for literary work for over 1,500 years. The crowning jewel of Homer’s epic is Achilles, son of Peleus. Did the Achilles of legend resemble Brad Pitt? Perhaps not, but picture the real Achilles as perfection personified. Imagine Achilles in the heat of battle with hundreds of soldiers around him, slashing and tearing each other with swords and spears, and see the carnage left in his wake. Each thrust of his sword is as poetic as it is deadly. His movements are rhythmic and purposeful, his wrath in battle and defiance against Agamemnon knows no equal, and his body is almost completely impervious to harm because his mother is a goddess. Yes, we all know his unfortunate vulnerability, but even Superman had his kryptonite. I ask you this: does your favourite character acter have the blood of a god? Were they a gen general at 15? Did their rage r ering, bring pain, sufferi and death to a thoutho sand Greeks? Did the they achieve everlasting everlastin fame? I think not. —Kevin McCormick
He can fly, he can sword fight, he defies the natural aging process without surgical procedure. Women love him, pirates fear him, and the Lost Boys want to be him. He is Peter Pan. Despite the trauma of being lost by his mother during infancy, Peter Pan grows to become the most kick-ass literary hero of all time. He is an inspiringly independent survivalist, but also has a heart of gold. Peter Pan cares for and imparts his wisdom upon a group of abandoned children—the Lost Boys—that hail him as their fearless leader. Although they are only children, Peter and his gang protect Neverland by terrorizing a crew of bloodthirsty pirates. Even Captain Hook, the cold-blooded commander of the Jolly Roger, cannot triumph over Peter in a sword fight. The Captain’s trademark mark hook comes courtesy of the boy, who once chopped off the pirate’s left hand and and fed it to a crocodile. Skilled swordsmanship aside, Peter eter Pan is also quite the ladies’ man. Wendy, ndy, Tiger Lily, Tinkerbell, and the mermaids aids are helpless to resist his boyish good ood looks and charm. Ultimately, what truly sets Peter aside side from other heroes is his unfailing courourage. Famously saying, “To die would be a great adventure,” Peter Pan will live on n as the bravest and most spirited young protagonist of all time. —Kristyn Filip
She may be proud and prejudiced, but she’s also pretty darn plucky. Elizabeth Bennet proves you can make mistakes (i.e. pass on England’s most eligible and hunky bachelor of 1813), say “no” (sorry, creepy Mr. Collins), and still end up getting the guy in the end, all while uttering razor-sharp witticisms and being ladylike. Juxtaposed against her bumbling sisters’ antics, Lizzie’s integrity shines all the more brightly. Sure, she initially falls for Wickham’s bogus sob story, but at least she doesn’t make a fool of herself hanging off him at the ball all night (see Bennet, Lydia). And unlike her best friend Charlotte, Elizabeth has just the right amount of gall to firmly but politely refuse her icky cousin Mr. Collins’ marriage proposal and consequently avoid what is even a 21st-century gal’s worst nightmare: settling. Conversely, Lizzie is also humble enough—eventually—to admit her shortsightedness in misjudging Mr. Darcy, who, of course, turns out to be incredibly dreamy. Real heroines like Elizabeth Bennet are fallible, and this is what makes them timeless and relatable. She is a classic female role model, admirable for all the right reasons— not to mention the fact that she gets to marry Colin Firth. —Laurel Hogan
Andrew “Ender” Wiggin, of Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game” is a Th ird, a child born to a family who already has the allotted two children. He lives in a world where humanity’s survival is threatened by an alien race called the Formics, or “Buggers”, and where promising children are bred and conditioned to be great military leaders. A child prodigy and genius in battle tactics, Ender is taken from his family and sent to the prestigious Battle School. As if his astounding intellect and capacity for combat weren’t enough, the fact that Ender is drafted into a military career before he’s even reached the age of 10 makes for an awfully impressive start in life. Later, Ender is taken under the wing of Mazer Rackham, the hero of the second Formic War. In anticipation of another anticipa Bugger attack, Ender is given ships to command in battl battle. In the last of these fights, he is put p up against a planet defended by an overwhelming number of ships. ship Unable to see another way to win win, he aims at the planet itself, destroying destroy it and single-handedly saving his people. sa Pretty freaking freakin badass. It isn’t just jus his brains or his abilities which make Ender eexceptional—it’s his empat empathy. He mourns the death of an enemy he met, and when he never me fi nds a fertilized fe pupa of a Queen B Bugger, he keeps it and looks for f a place where he can allow it to t hatch. For his courage, humilit humility, and compassion, Ender is ex exceptional in the world of literary heroes. —Tegan Bridge
illustrations by Maria Rondon
Not your average nerd
The master musketeer
One epic elf
The honest lawyer
Neville Longbottom is an unlikely candidate for most awesome character of all time, but despite his social short failings and amazing awkwardness, the man is a hero, plain and simple. For the noobs among us who have yet to recognize the awesome that is Neville, here’s a brief run-down of what makes him epic. When we first meet Neville, he’s on Platform 9¾ looking for his lost toad, Trevor, and about to start his fi rst year at Hogwarts. He is bullied all year by Malfoy’s minions until Harry encourages him to stand up to people. Ironically, this involves standing up to Harry, Ron, and Hermione when he sees them leaving the common room after hours. For this act of bravery Dumbledore awards him 10 points, the fi rst he ever won, putting y ndor in fi rst place p Gryffi for the House Cup. The crowd goes wild, but this is just the beginning of Neville’s heroics. He is one of the few members of Dumbledore’s Army who risks his life to help Harry rescue Sirius Black from the Department of Mysteries in his fi ft h year. Moreover, Neville goes on to singlehandedly run Dumbledore’s Army after Luna and Ginny leave when the school falls under Death Eater control. Neville’s bravery is fully realized in the final battle for Hogwarts, when he pulls Gryffi ndor’s Sword from the Sorting Hat and uses it to kill Nagini, Voldemort’s last piece of magical protection, allowing Harry to defeat the villain once and for all. Neville Longbottom, you make my inner fangirl swoon. —Tegan Bridge
Archetypal swashbuckling adventurer and romantic hero, the young Gascon D’Artagnan suffers no insult from any man, arranging to fight three duels mere hours after he arrives in Paris—against the most formidable swordsmen of the King’s Musketeers. After helping Athos, Porthos, and Aramis defeat the cardinal’s men, however, he is adopted into their circle of friends. In defiance of Cardinal Richelieu, who seeks to undermine the king’s authority and gain control of France, D’Artagnan drags the musketeers into one misadventure after another in service of His Majesty. Bound by a code of chivalry and daring, D’Artagnan and his friends race to London to retrieve the queen’s diamonds and preserve her façade of honour. When g Constance,, D’Artagnan’s love interest,, is kidnapped, and the cardinal’s agent Milady de Winter is sent to assassinate the Duke of Buckingham, it is up to D’Artagnan and the Musketeers to employ any means necessary to bring de Winter to justice. Known to his fans as a prodigy and his enemies as a legend, D’Artagnan exemplifies the chivalric code of honour and conduct. For that, he remains a majorly masterful musketeer. —Jennifer Hurd
Lord among high elves, beloved by his people, an everlasting symbol of courage and skill in battle, and summarily ignored by fi lmmakers Peter Jackson and Ralph Bakshi alike, Glorfi ndel defended the elven city of Gondolin during the heroic First Age of Middle-Earth. When the Dark Lord Morgoth sacked the city, Glorfi ndel slew a Balrog and sacrificed himself to ensure the survivors’ safety. Reincarnated thousands of years later, he returned to Middle-Earth in the Second Age, and served under Elrond and Gil-galad. When the Witch-King of Angmar attacked the Men of the West living in Arnor, it was Glorfi ndel who led the elves of Rivendell to defeat the Ringwraith’s forces, and stopped King Ëarnur of Gondor from rushing to his death. JJudged g one of the most powerful elves in Rivendell, and one on of the only elves capable of riding openly ope against the Ringwraiths, it was Glo Glorfi ndel, not Arwen or Legolas, who was sent se to fi nd and protect Frodo in his fl ight to t Rivendell. Warrior, leader, and counsellor, counsell he played a pivotall role in the debates at the Council of Elrond. He also possesse possessed the gift of prophecy: a thousand years before be Éowyn was born, he asserted that th d the Witch-King would not fall “by the han hand of man.” Sadly for Glorfi n ndel, Middle Earth is a land of many sto stories and plentiful heroics. Unfairly cast by the wayside, this amazing elf is as ep epic as characters come. Master of battle, gra gracious ruler, just leader, and prophetic ph philosopher, Glorfi ndell is everything a nove novel needs in a hero. d —Jennifer Hurd
Atticus Finch of “To Kill a Mockingbird” is, beyond a doubt, the greatest of the great when it comes to literary heroes. It is a little-known fact that he is an expert marksman, which means that he will take you down if you disagree with my initial statement. We’ve come a long way since the dreadful days of slavery, but that’s not to say that the social concept of racism has disappeared. Fift y years ago, before your parents even considered getting down and dirty, Atticus was fighting for the rights of the black community. His attempts to free interracial relations of any negative preconceptions are far from forgotten. To this day, many people are affected by Atticus’ honest approach to the legal profession. Many real-life lawyers have stated that he was a large influence in their decision to become a lawyer. I’m sure that if Atticus weren’t so fictional he’d be tickled pink. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to do something because a fictional man did it fi rst, so that’s pretty impressive, is it not? Court houses and social activism aside, Atticus is the widowed but loving father of two young children. His consistently ethical and respectable behaviour is not only for his own sake, but for the well-being of his impressionable offspring. In a sea of drunk, racist rednecks, he manages to keep himself afloat. —Josh Bereza
Odysseus, King of Ithaca and star of Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey, is unequivocally one of the greatest literary heroes of all time. After kicking ass and taking names in the 10-year Trojan War, Odysseus sets forth on a 10-year journey back home to his wife and son—but his return to Ithaca is not a simple boat ride away. Odysseus faces a ship full of pirates, unforgiving storms at sea, a oneeyed Cyclops, a tribe of cannibals, and a witch-goddess who turns his men into swine. And that’s only the fi rst half of the poem. Before he can return to his family, Odysseus makes a stop in the Underworld, avoids being seduced by the Sirens, dodges a six-headed beast and a whirlpool, and survives a shipwreck—only to come home and slay the 108 men trying to get with his woman. If that’s not romance, I don’t know what is—especially when, nowadays, it’s commonplace to hear men bitch about having to drive to a store to buy their significant can other flowers on Valen Valentine’s Day. Sigh. Sure, Ody Odysseus is not perfect. I mean, he does stop for seven years or so on his voyage to get it on with the nymph Calypso, and a he does end up sleeping with that witchgoddess, too—but, too— after the above trials and tribulati tribulations, can you really blame b him? I think it it’s clear that Odysseu Odysseus, master of disguise disgu and the ultimate smoothtalker, pu puts the “epic” in “epic p poem”. —Mercedes Mueller —Merc
14 | arts&culture
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
Fall festival to rock Ottawa O-Town Hoedown attracts alternative acts Katrina Medwenitsch | Fulcrum Staff
ALTERNATIVE MUSIC FANS are in for a treat this week with the launch of the OTown Hoedown, a nine-day concert series in Ottawa. In its fourth annual year, the Hoedown, organized by local performer Lefty McRighty, will be showcasing alternative-country bands from all over Ottawa. “Considering the size of the Ottawa music scene, it’s actually pretty big,” says McRighty. “There seems to be more of this stuff around here than the other … cities, [like] Montreal and Toronto. Toronto has more of an indie rock scene and Montreal is more metal rock. The alt-country scene seems to have a bit more life blood here.” From Sept. 24–Oct. 2, patrons can check out local alternative-country bands like Evil Farm Children, Capital Grass and the No Men, and Lindsay Ferguson. The immensely popular show grows every year, and brings in fans from all over the city. “We have people travelling in from the outskirts of Ottawa. Hopefully they’ll go back home and tell everyone how good it is in Ottawa, and we’ll get people making the pilgrimage every year,” says McRighty. For the first time, this year the festival will feature bands from outside of Ottawa. “[This decision] was based on customer feedback,” explains McRighty. “A lot of fans and the musicians themselves have felt free
to give me suggestions and ideas. Enough people said ‘How come it’s just Ottawa bands?’ So that got me thinking maybe I should open up the doors.” Non-local bands include the Driftwood Singers from Los Angeles, the F-Holes from Winnipeg, Liquorbox out of Kingston, and Montreal’s Honky Tonk Heartbreakers. More than simply hoping that the event is a success, McRighty looks forward to the O-Town Hoedown each year because he knows it will bring unique music to festival-goers. He hopes that people will think liberally about the terms “country” and “alternative.” “[It’s] not your usual country music show,” explains McRighty. “A lot of people here are going to shy away from the term ‘country music.’ This is different than what they think they know about country. There are a lot of subgenres of country music they are not aware of. This is the indie-rock version of country: underground bands, f under the radar bands.” The O-Town Hoedown will begin at The Rainbow Bistro located at 76 Murray St. at 9:30 pm on Sept. 24,where Lefty McRighty himself will perform. All access passes are available for $40 and can be purchased at Compact Music. For more information, visit otownhoedown.com.
WARPED 45S Just one of the many alternative bands to be featured at the O-Town Hoedown photo courtesy Greg Harris
spotlight on Natasha Chaykowski | Fulcrum Contributor
MACKENZIE RHYTHM SECTION
“Down” showcase their talent for balancing the length of vocals almost perfectly with the length of their instrument solos. With their self-proclaimed inspirations being bands from the 70s that provided simple yet soulful sound, a few minutes of listening will have even the most conservative music-lovers tapping their dancing shoes—or at least engaging in a steady head-nod. f
CATCHY BASELINES, A playful nature to their music, and a “less-ismore” philosophy make the Mackenzie Rhythm Section sound like a jazzy version of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Th is Ottawa-based band is true to its name, bringing rhythm, among other things, to the table. Each track by Mackenzie Rhythm Section has such an energetic and varied sound that it recalls the unpre- Sounds like: The Kooks got dictability and chaos jazzed up (and cool). of classic jazz. Their Check it out: Online, music combines styles at myspace.com/ such as funk, soul, and mackenzierhythmsection contemporary indie. Th is, mixed with catchy lyrics, makes for interesting listening. Songs such as
theatrical photos depict children in classic fairy tale scenes, placed in violent or JONATHON HOBIN’S PHOTOuncanny situations. Dichotomous narGRAPHS are a diverse collection of ratives such as childhood innocence and work, containing politically charged violence are combined to make Hobin’s pieces, fashion editorials, and fi ne art art at once strange and familiar. His photos. The So That it works are both eerie Won’t Be Forgotten and intriguing at the Looks like: Richard Avedon same time, evoking series, for example, is composed of rich meets It’s a Small World the feeling similar to black and white pho- After All. that of a car crash— tographs depicting an if you’re still looking Check it out: 2012 Festival X, after a few minutes, elderly man. The conDale Smith Gallery, or online frontational manner then are you actually at jhobin.com in which this man is enjoying what you’re depicted, as well as the unforgiving exseeing? With great attention to detail posure of the flaws of his age leaves one and the use of vivid props and colours, feeling unsettled. In his series Mother Hobin’s works come to life through his Goose, Hobin expresses whimsy, nostalcontroversial topics. f gia, and an uncanny sentiment. These
University of Ottawa
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SPORTS EDITOR Jaehoon Kim | firstname.lastname@example.org | (613) 562 5231
Kings of the fourth quarter Gee-Gees football pulls off another huge comeback win against McMaster Anton Ninkov | Fulcrum Contributor
perseverance. First-year running back Adam Gourgon ran for a touchdown, Sinopoli threw a 20-yard score to fi ft hHE SUN WAS shining, the year receiver Matthew Bolduc and the wind was strong, and an unMarauders conceded a safety, all in the defeated record was on the line last six minutes of the third frame. Otfor the Gee-Gees football team. tawa trailed by just two to start the fi nal On Sept. 18, in front of 2,119 scream- quarter, 35-33. ing fans at Frank Clair Stadium, Ottawa “The game is 60 minutes, so … whenfaced the nationally eighth-ranked Mcever you do it, you just need to put points Master Marauders. In the end, the Gees’ on the board. Our offence had a lot of hopes of a perfect season remained intact adjustments to make, and in the end, we with a 43-35 victory. With the win, the came through,” said Asselin of the offenGee-Gees also redeemed themselves for sive turnaround. their heartbreaking loss to the MaraudWith just over five minutes remaining ers in last year’s Ontario University Ath- in the game, third-year kicker Matthew letics (OUA) quarter-fi nals. Falvo hit a 23-yard field goal to complete Ottawa came out fi ring, as secondthe comeback. The fi nal nail in the coffi n year receiver Ezra Millington started was provided by fi ft h-year receiver Cyril the scoring with a Adjeitey’s 106-yard touchdown catch in touchdown recepthe opening minutes tion, clinching the of the game. The lead eight-point win for quickly dissipated, “This year, we have a number the Gees. however, as Maraud“It’s exciting for of talented receivers ... we the fans, but we’d er quarterback Kyle Quinlan responded [all] have to step up and make rather not do that with a touchdown big plays when we’re called every time,” said pass of his own, an Adjeitey when asked upon.” instant before being about the fourth leveled by a blitzing –Cyril Adjeitey -quarter heroics. “We Gee-Gees defender. played really hard, Fifth-year wide receiver The fi rst quarter of and it doesn’t matter play ended with the how we win, we just Gees leading 10-7. have to do it. Th is Ottawa had to year, we have a numovercome a tremendous number of penber of talented receivers … We [all] have alties to win the game. By the end of the to step up and make big plays when we’re match, the Gees had racked up 242 pencalled upon.” alty yards on 21 calls, including a critical The Ottawa receiving corps—comflag for too many men on the field which posed of Millington, Bolduc, Adjeitey, hurt the team in the second quarter. The and other talents such as fourth-year SteGee-Gees entered the locker room trailven Hughes—was dominant once again. ing by a score of 21-17. Sinopoli may have had four interceptions “We’ve got to look at the positives. Our in the game, but he also found his receivguys did an amazing job on punt and kick ers 27 times for 446 yards and added four returns not getting [penalized],” said Ottouchdown passes to match his interceptawa head coach Jean-Philippe Asselin tion totals. about the Gees’ discipline issues. “It’s not The Gee-Gees are now halfway like we’re [being] rough or taking unnecthrough the OUA season and remain essary penalties.” at the top of the conference with an unAfter fourth-year quarterback Brad blemished 4-0 record. Sinopoli’s passes were intercepted in “I feel like we’re getting better and imthree consecutive drives to start the proving every week,” Asselin said. f third quarter, McMaster’s offence took advantage and jumped to a 35-17 lead. The nationally second-ranked Gees will However, the resilient Gee-Gees refused now travel to Queen’s University to take on to give up and were rewarded for their the Golden Gaels (1-2) on Sept. 25 at 1 p.m.
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TOUCHDOWN GEE-GEES Second-year receiver Ezra Millington opened up the scoring for Ottawa on Sept. 18 photo by Martha Pearce
16 | sports
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
Reclaiming rowing title Gee-Gees varsity team outlasts Carleton in P.D. Ross Challenge
Competition on the Canal U of O and Carleton face off in a truly unique rowing race photo by Kate Waddingham
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff
UST PAST 10 a.m. on a beautiful September morning, an enthusiastic crowd of people gathered near Pretoria Bridge on the Rideau Canal. Everyone was eagerly waiting for just one thing: the starting signal to the 13th annual P.D. Ross Rowing Challenge. On Sept. 18, the Ottawa Gee-Gees and the Carleton Ravens faced off in two events: a race for the alumni and another competition for the current varsity rowers. In the first race, the Gees alumni rowing crew lost a tough battle to Carleton by two lengths. “I thought it went pretty good [considering] we all just jumped together in
the boat for the first time and since we all haven’t rowed in quite some time,” said Talia Makuch, a Gee-Gees alum who last rowed with the varsity team in 2007–08. “I feel good about it, because I actually survived the entire race,” she said with a laugh. While the alumni event was more about fun and catching up, the varsity race was all about competition and winning the hardware. In the end, the current GeeGees team pulled off a huge victory, ending a two-year losing streak to the Ravens’ rowers in the process. “The varsity [race] is when it really counted—the winner got the trophy— which is now back in the Gee-Gees’ hands. [We] won by open water, about
two boat lengths in front of the Carleton boat. It’s always great to beat Carleton,” said Chloé Corbeil, vp communications of the Gees rowing team in an email to the Fulcrum. The Ottawa varsity team was actually short-handed for the race, making the win even more memorable for the Gee-Gee rowers. The rules allowed the top four male and top four female racers from each team to participate in the competition as a crew of eight. However, only two University of Ottawa rowers were male due to absences caused by other out-of-town regattas. It didn’t matter though; the Gees were able to claim their fifth P.D. Ross Challenge in the program’s history. The race consisted of a two-kilometre
course, starting near Carleton University at the Bank Street Bridge and ending close to the University of Ottawa campus at Pretoria Bridge. For the second straight year, the rowing teams raced on the Rideau Canal instead of the Ottawa River, after obtaining permission from the National Capital Commission. The change of venue has helped publicize the Ottawa rowing team, and the number of spectators at the race has increased tremendously. “I was a part of the group of rowers that really tried to build up the team. We started in 2004–05 and to see that it’s come to this point where we can have a P.D. Ross race on the Canal, between the U of O and Carleton—it’s a great moment for all of us that have worked hard in the past,” said
Makuch. The P.D. Ross Challenge has a rich history dating back from 1950, when the race was first started between the University of Ottawa and McMaster University. Though 60 years have passed since then, and the Gees’ opponents have changed, Makuch indicated that it was an honour to simply compete at an event filled with tradition. “I think we’re all really proud to partake in something as historic as this [race].” f The Gee-Gees rowing team will now look forward to the Ontario University Athletics season and the Head of the Rideau Regatta, scheduled to be held at the Rideau Canoe Club on Sept. 26.
Inside access A look at the training regimen of a varsity football player Marco Walker-Ng | Fulcrum Contributor
TO BECOME A top player in Canadian university football, a student-athlete must train properly in the off-season to prepare himself for the rest of the year. While the average student may have slept their summer away, you can be certain that the GeeGees football players trained hard every day to become stronger and faster. Ever wonder exactly how the undefeated Gee-Gee players got ready for the season? Now’s the time to find out. So how do you improve your overall strength and speed? Well, let’s just say if you spent the off-season simply doing bicep curls and sit-ups, you would have a hard time cracking the starting lineup. The real key to becoming stronger involves lifting something at 85 to 90 per cent of your 1 Repetition Maximum (1RM) value. A 1RM represents a weight that you can only lift once. On the other hand, to increase your speed, you must perform sprints at a high level—at about 90 per cent of your maximum intensity. Of course, weight training and running should be followed by adequate rest to prevent injuries. During the summer months, the GeeGees football players were in the gym four
days a week and two days were spent practicing on the field, leaving one day for rest. The first day of each week was spent strengthening legs, and began with a compound exercise performed at an intensity of 90 per cent of a player’s 1RM. A compound exercise is one in which several joints are used simultaneously to perform a specific movement. This type of exercise requires many motor units to be activated, allowing the athlete to strengthen their leg muscles. Squats and deadlift variations were used. As for the other exercises, some unilateral movements were performed, where players trained one leg at a time—typically involving a lunge variation. An exercise for the posterior chain of muscles was completed as well, which involve the group of muscles located on the back side of the body. Why bother, you might ask? There are a lot of hamstring injuries in football, so it is definitely important to strengthen the glutes and hamstrings, which are also key contributors to sprinting speed. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have a nice back side either. For training the upper body, the routine was very similar; the athletes always began with a compound exercise such as
a bench press, chin up, shoulder press, or row variation. A heavy emphasis was put on training the upper back as many people tend to focus only on the chest. This causes the pecs to become overly tight and is usually responsible for that “gorilla-looking” posture. When training on the field, the sessions began with sprints of both short and long distances. As the off-season came to an end, positional drills were practiced to mimic game situations with reduced rest periods. Evidently, the hard summer training is paying off as the players who took the offseason seriously are now reaping the benefits of a 4-0 record, as well as recording some impressive statistics—including a 106-yard touchdown reception (Hint: his last name begins with Adjeite and ends with an y). As they say, the better prepared the athletes, the better the football team performs on the field. f
WORKING HARD Gee-Gees prepare for the long year ahead
photo by Maria Rondon
Marco Walker-Ng is a student strength and conditioning coach for the Gee-Gees’ soccer, football, and volleyball varsity teams. For questions related to fitness training and other health issues, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
sports | 17
Getting the job done Women’s rugby steals victory in closing minutes of home opener Katherine McDonald | Fulcrum Contributor
WITH JUST OVER five minutes remaining in the Gee-Gees home opener, the McGill Martlets led Ottawa by a score of 6-0. Yet, one last offensive surge by the Gees women’s rugby team led to a dramatic try and a successful conversion, ending the game 7-6 in favour of the University of Ottawa. The grueling battle between McGill and Ottawa took place Sept. 19 at Matt Anthony Field. The score remained close throughout the course of the match— fortunately for Gee-Gee fans, Ottawa came up clutch in the final minutes of the game, earning their fi rst win of the Quebec Student Sports Federation season. After a slow fi rst half which ended with McGill leading 3-0, the Martlets were able to gain field position in the last 20 minutes of the match, putting increased pressure on the Gee-Gees defence. With 16 minutes left in the second half, McGill earned three more points from a penalty goal. Lagging behind by six points, the Gee-Gees made a decision to “get ‘er done.” Refusing to end the match without a score, the Gee-Gees refocused late in the game. Second-year centre Nicole Deacon played the hero of the day; her end zone plunge was a thing of beauty. “I got a clean ball from [second-year flanker] Allison MacCormack and she did a great job of blocking the defenders. I called for [the ball], got it off of her hip, and then I just dove in,” Deacon described her scoring play. Following the try, which put five points on the scoreboard, fourth-year wing Lana Dingwall succeeded on the conversion, adding two more points to Ottawa’s tally. That’s how the game ended—as a 7-6 win for the Gee-Gees. “Th is game was a good start—the Concordia game [last week] was a little bit of a disappointment. I think overall, we did really well,” said Dingwall. “We didn’t
From the press box Jaehoon Kim Sports Editor
photo by Kate Waddingham
A FIERCE BATTLE
Ottawa and McGill fight for rugby supremacy, Sept. 19 at Matt Anthony Field give up when we were losing. It feels really good to come back and win the game. I’m really proud of all the girls.” The thrilling matchup also represented a rematch of last year’s home opener, when Ottawa beat McGill by a score of 24-5. The Gee-Gees are now 1-1 on the season and have a realistic chance at earning home-field advantage for the first round of the playoffs. In a post-game interview with the Fulcrum, Deacon announced the team’s aspirations for the season. “I think this game was one of our hardest matches—[McGill], Concordia, and Laval are the toughest games and, to get a win [today], this is going to be great for our season. Th is is the team that could get us to nationals.” Even after the exciting win, improvements need to be made if the Gee-Gees want to reach their goals. Ottawa head
coach Suzanne Chaulk said that one quality currently lacking from her squad is patience. “We’re so anxious to build momentum and attack that we’re not [completing] all the passes. It’s like we’ve already made the next pass before we’ve caught the ball. We need to really focus on our fundamentals [instead of] getting impatient.” Ottawa has until Sept. 26 to train for their next game at Sherbrooke where they hope to win another match. Although McGill won their opening game, 94-7 over Sherbrooke, Chaulk explained that her team will not take anything for granted. “[Sherbrooke] beat Bishops unexpectedly last week, and by a significant score, so I’m looking forward to seeing their new and improved team. I don’t think we can take Sherbrooke lightly; we’ll play f hard.”
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LAUNCHED IN MAY 1997, The Score Television Network quickly established itself as the “home for the hardcore” sports fans of this country. Featuring an in-depth ticker system, use of interactive media, and tons of innovative programming, The Score’s popularity has risen immensely in recent years. The Score is also a haven for Ontario University Athletics (OUA) football fans thanks to University Rush, a program which airs OUA football matches every weekend—now in its ninth year of running. But take one look at the 2010 University Rush schedule and you’ll find a peculiar trend: none of the Gee-Gees’ regular season games are being televised by The Score. To be fair, Ottawa isn’t the only team being neglected—Windsor, Toronto, and York are in the same boat as the Gees. Yet, those three teams are perennial OUA bottom-dwellers; their combined record since the beginning of the 2009 season is a paltry 5-30. On the other hand, the Gee-Gees are ranked number two in the country as of Sept. 18, and have compiled a 35-9 regular season record since 2005. This week, The Score visited the University of Guelph to cover the game between the Gryphons and Queens’ Golden Gaels. Was it a compelling matchup? Possibly. Was it a better show than the game between Ottawa and the nationally eighth-ranked McMaster Marauders? Not a chance—the Gees’ thrilling 18-point comeback victory would have been exhilarating for even the neutral fans. In the end, it all comes down to dollars and cents. The Score, with its headquarters based out of Toronto, is reluctant to take long road trips for University
Rush because it is not cost-effective for the network. Still, the Gee-Gees can shine under the national spotlight as long as they qualify for the OUA semifinals; The Score televises playoff games regardless of their location. National media coverage was one no-show on Sept. 18 at Frank Clair Stadium. The other element missing at the game is even more puzzling; only 2,119 fans decided to support the Gee-Gees by actually showing up to the stadium. The crowd was disappointingly small considering the Gees were ranked second in the country for the first time since 2006. In comparison, the cellar-dwelling Windsor Lancers managed to draw 2,566 fans to see their Lancers get pummelled by the Western Mustangs later that day. How about the Mustangs’ average home attendance? So far this season, it’s at an impressive 9,080 people per game. The fans who did attend had a fantastic time, and their vocal presence made an impact on the game—the Jockey Club certainly did their part. So, who really missed out? I’m sure the actual players would love more screaming students to cheer them on, but the real losers on Sept. 18 were the vast majority of Ottawa students who chose to stay home on a beautiful autumn afternoon (and, of course, the McMaster Marauders too). Only two home games remain for the Gee-Gees until playoffs start. The football team is doing everything they can to make for a memorable season. Will the student body join them on their exciting journey to the Vanier Cup? Only time will tell. email@example.com (613) 562 5931
18 | sports
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
Nothing soft about this ball team Women’s softball crushes cross-town rivals in doubleheader Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff
PPARENTLY SOMEONE FORGOT to tell the GeeGees women’s softball team that 2010 was supposed to be a rebuilding year. With a 14-player roster that features eight fi rst-year players, the Gees dominated the Carleton Ravens on Sept. 17 at Pierre Rocque Park in Orleans. Ottawa crushed the Ravens in the homeopening doubleheader, winning 20-0 in the first game and 29-4 in the second. Both matches were called at the conclusion of the third inning due to the mercy rule. In game one, the Gees’ offence came out firing in the fi rst inning, putting 19 runs on the scoreboard by the end of the frame. Second-year shortstop Jenna Flannigan led the charge for Ottawa, being just a home run short of hitting for the cycle. Team ace and fourth-year veteran Emily Ernst silenced Carleton’s bats to earn a shutout, throwing for three strikeouts in the game. The highlight of the match was provided by fi rst-year outfielder Shaela Wlodarczyk, who drilled a three-run blast over the outfield fence. “To be perfectly honest, the pitcher served one up and I just swang hard,” said Wlodarczyk of her home run. The positive vibes continued into the second part of the doubleheader when Ottawa scored 16 runs in the fi rst inning, essentially ending any hopes of a Ravens’ comeback. At one point in the frame, the Gees hit three straight triples thanks to the offensive prowess of Wlodarczyk, fi ft h-year catcher Kelsi Ball, and rookie Taylor Rogarsky. Though she wasn’t able to blank the Ravens, fourth-year pitcher Laura Skiperis also played well, matching Ernst’s effort with three strikeouts of her own.
photo by Jaehoon Kim
READY FOR ACTION A solid defence contributed to the Gees’ softball victories on Sept. 17
“We had excellent games, both offensively and defensively,” said Ball in a post-game interview. “We did a lot of the little things right, which contributed to the whole team effort. I thought we had a great day.” “We hit the ball well and we ran the bases well, too. Emily Ernst and Laura Skiperis both pitched very good games,” said head coach Scott Searle. The softball team also dedicated the doubleheader to the Canadian armed forces, wearing special red uniforms to honour the troops. Ottawa native Brad Hodge, currently on a short leave from a mission in Afghanistan, threw the ceremonial fi rst pitch. “A lot of us have connections with people who have given their time and their lives to defending our country and defending peace in other countries. Th is is our little way of saying thank you,” Wlodarczyk explained. “My fiancée [served] in Bosnia and he could be going back next year, so it’s personal for me as well.” On Sept. 18, the Gee-Gees reached out to local children by conducting a softball clinic. Year after year, the women’s softball squad devotes a large portion of its time giving back to the community. “Th is is my first year in the Gee-Gees’ program and I think it’s a fantastic thing to do,” said Ball. “Softball is important, but [our team] should be about more than just wins and losses. Th is week’s been all about giving back,” added Searle. Even with a youth-infused roster, the Gees were confident about improving upon last year’s fourth-place fi nish in the 12-team Ontario Intercollegiate Women’s Fastpitch Association. After the blowout victories against rival Carleton, Ottawa has just proven that it is a force to be reckoned with. f
sports briefs Women’s soccer team upset in Sudbury A 2-1 WIN against the Nipissing Lakers (1-1-3) on Sept. 18 moved the University of Ottawa’s women’s soccer team to the top of the standings in the Ontario University Athletics (OUA) East division. Their reign was shortlived, however, as the Gee-Gees (3-1-1) were upset 2-0 by the Laurentian Voyageurs (2-1-3) the following night. The surprising loss was the Gees’ fi rst of the year, and ended Ottawa’s busy week, which began with a 1-0 win over Queen’s (5-1-0) on Sept. 15. In the road contest at North Bay, the Garnet and Grey overcame sloppy weather conditions to grind out a win. After the Lakers scored a tally 14 minutes in, Ottawa second-year striker Sarah de Carufel tied the match at one a-piece in the 36th minute. The Gees got the winning goal in the second half, when second-year midfielder Corina Jarrett scored on a breakaway in the 65th minute. The next day in Sudbury, Ottawa struggled as Laurentian scored goals in the 18th and 26th minutes to take the lead. A goalie switch failed to spark the Gees, who couldn’t muster a single goal against a tough Laurentian defence. The defeat leaves Ottawa in third place in the OUA East. The Gees will hit the road to play Trent (0-4-1) and Ryerson (0-1-4) Sept. 25–26. —Andrew Hawley Gee-Gees’ cross-country season starts with meet at Colgate University THE GEE-GEES’ CROSS-COUNTRY teams travelled to Hamilton, New York on Sept. 18 to jumpstart the 2010 season. At the Colgate University Invitational, both the men’s and women’s teams ran into stiff competition from their American opponents. Host Colgate University, Syracuse University, and Cornell University entered athletes to race against the Gees, who are continuing to fi nalize their 2010 roster. Th ird-year human kinetics student Matt Vierula paved the way for the Ottawa men in the eight-kilometre race fi nishing 29th, with the team placing third overall out of the four participating schools. Right behind Vierula was teammate Rob Bark in 30th place. In the women’s six-kilometre race, the top Gee-Gee was Nathalie Coté who fi nished 40th. The team of 12 women placed fourth overall. Next up, the Gees will run, pace, and sprint at the Paul Short Invitational in Bethlehem, PA, on Oct. 1, where the women will attempt to defend their 2009 title and the men will try to improve upon last year’s third place fi nish. —Serge Lafontaine Men’s hockey earns a split in pair of exhibition games THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa men’s hockey team faced a couple of familiar Ontario University Athletics (OUA) opponents in exhibition matches this past weekend. On Sept. 27, the Gee-Gees visited Queen’s University and were shut out by the Golden Gaels, losing 3-0. Just two days later, on Sept. 29, the Gees’ offence came alive in a 5-3 victory against the Royal Military College Paladins, with the match being held in Petawawa, ON. Veteran third-year winger Matthieu Methot scored two goals for Ottawa, while new recruits Luc Blain and Matt White also lit up the lamp for the Gee-Gees—with Blain scoring a pair and White adding a single marker. Ottawa’s revamped power-play was on display as the Gees scored a trio of goals on the one man advantage. The Gees, with an exhibition record of 1-1, will travel to Thunder Bay for two more pre-season games against Lakehead University Oct. 1–2, before opening the regular season at home on Oct. 8 against the Golden Gaels at 7 p.m. at the Sports Complex. —Jaehoon Kim Tough pre-season losses for women’s hockey ON SEPT. 17, the University of Ottawa women’s hockey team visited Wilfrid Laurier University to challenge the defending champions of Ontario, the Laurier Golden Hawks. In the exhibition matchup, the Gees were outclassed by a strong Hawks squad, losing by a score of 6-1. Rookie forward Alex Jaworski scored the lone marker for Ottawa in the third period. The next day, the Gee-Gees played another pre-season game against the Guelph Gryphons, also on the road. Though Ottawa outshot the Gryphons by a wide margin, the Gees were simply unable to fi nd the net as Guelph won 3-0. Ottawa failed to take advantage of eight power-play opportunities. “There’s [still] a lot of work to be done—physically, mentally, and technically. If we work hard, we’ll get better,” said Gees head coach Yanick Evola. The Gee-Gees will now look forward to a pre-season tournament, hosted by Concordia University Oct. 1–3. —Jaehoon Kim
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Mercedes Mueller | firstname.lastname@example.org | (613) 562 5261
The 10 class commandments Mercedes Mueller | Fulcrum Staff
RE YOU TIRED of the same asinine antics in the classroom lecture after lecture? Despite the many articles, blog posts, and Facebook status updates I’ve seen bemoaning bad behaviour—not to mention the number of dirty looks and eye rolls I’ve personally dished out to offenders—it seems like some students skipped the lesson on classroom etiquette 101. So, once and for all, I have taken it upon myself to codify a set of rules to govern the classroom—a timeless collection of “don’ts” to protect our institutions of higher learning from complete obliviousness and idiocy. And as for dealing with those select students who still think they are above the law, I’ve come up with some suggestions for all you legit learners out there who long to put them in their place.
Thou shalt not show up late for class You know the drill. Latey McLate-Late makes his excessively loud entrance into the classroom 15 minutes tardy—every class. And even though everyone can count on his late-coming like clockwork, it’s impossible not to look up and stare, disrupting the flow of the lecture every time. Punctuality is a virtue in the world of academia. Teach ’em a lesson by: With a small group of surrounding students, attempt to tie the tardy kid to his desk after class. You can’t be late for class when you live in the classroom! Thou shalt not pack up five minutes early Did you know that if every class students start packing up five minutes before the class is scheduled to end almost two lectures per semester are lost? That’s a lot of potential information—especially when profs have the tendency to say the most important things in the last five minutes of class because of this trend.
Teach ’em a lesson by: When the student next to you starts packing up their stuff early, unpack their stuff. They shut their notebook, you open it. They start to stand up, you pull them right back down into their seat. Be aggressive! Thou shalt not take calls in class Unless you are expecting a call from the President of the World, your phone should not be answered, nor should it ring, in class. It’s called vibrate, people, and did you forget every room has a door you can use to exit the class to a hallway where you can take the call and not disrupt 100 other students? Teach ’em a lesson by: Whether the scenario was forged or not, the Internetfamed Angry Professor had the right idea when he smashed a student’s cell phone for taking a call. For inspiration, refer to: youtube.com/watch?y=hutVRL%XRE. Thou shalt not correct the professor’s spelling mistakes—unless it’s an English professor Nothing is more obnoxious than trying to get through a lecture in Microeconomic Theory III and having a student raise their hand in order to correct the professor’s spelling or grammar. Honestly. We all know the prof meant to write “better-than-set,” not “better-then-set.” So unless you are the Oxford Dean of Homophones, shut up! Teach ’em a lesson by: These students need a taste of their own medicine. Raise your hand and correct that student’s speech. Proceed to correct this student every time he or she talks in class. Believe me, it’s kids like these that are the most prone to destroying the English language. Thou shalt not eat obnoxiously large and smelly meals in class Even if you are about to enter your third-straight class of the afternoon after skipping breakfast, your equally starving cl classmates should never have to watch you down d an elaborate three-course hot meal you’ve yo been saving for dinner—complete w dessert and wet naps. It’s torturous, with distracting, d and, for some reason, always unnecessarily u loud and smelly. Teach T ’em a lesson by: You reserve the right ri to knock their food off the desk. That, or feel free to help yourself. Sharing is caring, after all! Thou shalt not dominate class discussion I once had a professor for a fourthyear ye seminar class state that an “excellent” p participation grade in his class required a student st to “take care not to dominate class discussion. d ” This is the Golden Rule for cl participation. If your seminar class is class starting st to feel like your own personal talk show, sh you are violating the rule. Proceed to shut your mouth and try to learn from someone so else—including your prof—for a change. ch T Teach ’em a lesson by: Any time a student d is dominating class discussion, get
What shalt thou do in class?
the class to perform a group shun. This involves waving your arm in a motion that creates an invisible shield d between g, “Shun!” you and the student and saying, When the student gets the point, t, feel free to “Unshun” him or her a la Dwight ght Shrute pDfyxEA). (youtube.com/watch?v=BMlGpDfyxEA). It truly is a slap of silence.
Repeat after me: Thou shalt ask questions when something is not understood— chances are half of your classmates are also confused
Thou shalt not kiss ass in class Everyone hates a kiss-ass know-it-all that’s always trying to impress thee pants off the prof. For the last time, kids: that’s what office hours are for! What better er place to discuss the intimate details of Wendt’s Solitics than cial Theory of International Politics m the stuin a comfortable office away from dents who can barely pronounce ce “mutuve me, the ally constitutive”? Because, believe o hear it. rest of us dummies don’t want to Teach ’em a lesson by: Bringing ng brown nt to smear paint to class and making a point ose. it all over their already brown nose.
Thou shalt answer questions when the professor asks them—because that awkward two-minute silence is painful for everyone Thou shalt raise relevant points that are pertinent to course material—these actually enhance the learning of your classmates, and make for interesting breaks in the lecture
Thou shalt not ask ridiculouss questions about course content our classDon’t waste the prof ’s or your stions the mates’ time with frivolous questions first class. Examples of this include ude asking questions that are explicitly answered swered on the syllabus you were just handed; ed; asking questions about an assignment when you are told you will be given more re instructions in the following weeks; and d any question, reformulated in any way, demanding emanding to know what is on the final exam. m. Teach ’em a lesson by: Always bring rotten tomatoes to the first class lass of the year. They won’t go to waste.
Thou shalt participate in class discussions—if you don’t, you are just encouraging the 10-minute monologues given by Sir Talks-a-Lot Thou shalt enjoy every class— because university beats a big kid job, mortgage payments, and the real world any day
Thou shalt not ask ridiculous diculous questions... ever Beyond asking your prof of to rehash the course syllabus in your hands, nds, it is also annoying to have pointless questions raised in class. This is not to sayy all questions are bad questions—refer —refer to “What shalt thou do in class? However, there is such a thing as a bad question. These include questions ons you already know the answer to, questions tions your prof can’t possibly know the answer to, and questions no one gives a fuck as to what the answer is. Teach em a lesson by: You u could resort to the rotten tomato gag above, ove, but another idea involves a lasso, good od aim, and a strong arm. Be creative. Thou shalt not ask for notes otes when thou is never in class Everyone has to miss a class the odd time, but don’t be the student udent that skips every other class only to demand notes from a total stranger. It’ss inconsiderate, and, unfortunately, the hard-working student too often obliges the slacker in these requests. Teach ’em a lesson by: Strategically rategically alter your notes so the key information ormation in the lecture notes is false. That, or just straight up tell them to fuck off. f
illustrations be Maria Rondon
20 | opinions
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
The Revolution will run on batteries Hisham Kelati | Fulcrum Contributor utor
LATE LAST YEAR, Jian Ghomeshi, hi, host viewed of the CBC Radio show Q, interviewed fi lmmaker Adam Yamaguchi about out his fi lm Japan: Robot Nation. In it, Yamaguamaguchi discusses Japan’s love affair with robots, and details the immense advancedvancements in robotics made by the Japanese. panese. One example included a life-likee robot school teacher who, when placed in n front of an elementary class to “teach”, h”, was readily accepted by the students regardless of the fact that “she” was 95 per er cent computer chips. eration Now, if you’re a member of Generation Y, the idea of technological advances ces like a robot teacher isn’t that big of a deal. I at, bemean, we are the generation that, tween kindergarten and high school, ol, witnessed the evolution of the Walkman man to the iPod. And with every technological leap, ap, our lives become progressively easier. r. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?? Relaipedia, tive ease. From the library to Wikipedia, from analog to digital—technology logy is ter. good, but newer technology is better. ne step But are human-like robots one too far? Th ink about it: Robotic versions ersions entally of ourselves, physically and mentally reely— superior, wandering the Earth freely— is this not the opening scene off every robots-massacre-hu ma nit y-t hemed d nothfi lm ever made? Have we learned ace Oding, people? I, Robot; 2001: A Space minator yssey; The Matrix; and The Terminator franchises—these are all documented mented cases of humanity getting its ass kicked by robots. Sure, humans prevail, but it’s mainly through dumb luck or deus ex machina. We should be stopping any research esearch that creates something smarterr than us, because if we don’t, we’re going to lose our hard-earned position at the top of the food chain. Trust me, if the dolphins, bears, and hawks of the world had our brains, they’d have fought back against our blatant encroachment of their land a long time ago—and would have probably won, too. But instead we continue, fooloolhardily, toward creating artificiall intels, dozligence. Over the past few months, ens of scientific articles have popped ped up in the news claiming that, between een the years of 2020 and 2050, scientists will be able to make a computer that can n think faster and attain more knowledge than a human. Th is will lead to dozens of technological breakthroughs, including ng the —and a creation of artificial intelligence—and couple of decades or so later, the inevitable enslavement of humankind due to the Robot Revolution. But why, you might ask, does the enslavement of humanity have to bee inevicapable table? Well, as a species, we’re incapable of learning from our mistakes, and d rather than skipping the few hundred years ears of d thus inequality and persecution—and not getting burned—we’ll prefer to do our usual thing and make all self-aware f-aware his day robots our slaves. Because if, in this and age, we still discriminate based sed on superficial and arbitrary categories, es, then there’s a good chance we will makee something that isn’t even human into slaves. laves. We’d limit their rights and freedoms eedoms nalized like we have every other marginalized
group throughout history because we’re too stupid to realize this will come back to bite us in the ass harder than we’ve ever felt before. Th is will eventually lead to a swelling of anti-human sentiment amongst the robots, followed by years of subversive terrorism, and ultimately concluding with all of humanity being wiped out. Regardless of the hard data showing otherwise (The Matrix, anyone?), we continue to blindly advance toward making ourselves obsolete—all for the sake of progress. And obsolete we will become, for when stacked against the unavoidable end product of our robot-making, we humans come up real short. Forget about the impending Zombie Invasion—that’s a problem that can easily be solved with a steady hand and some high-number cartridges. What we should worry about is the Robot Revolution. They’ll be made of 100 per cent titanium. We’re 70 per cent water. Physically, we’re ruined. Mentally, on the other hand, we’re still fucked. Case in point: Wolfram Alpha. As a species, we’re becoming complacent, lazy, and ripe for the picking. Technological advancements have left us with a false sense of superiority and everincreasing delusion. We break into fits of hysteria when Facebook doesn’t load fast enough, but fail to realize that within the lifetimes off people t hat
are still around, the TV, microwave, Internet, and planes didn’t exist. People had to hand-churn their own butter less than a lifetime ago, and you’re complaining that your TiVo is on the fritz? We’ll never stand a chance against the androids. One could argue that when the time finally does come, and we’re human face to robot face with the very first sentient machine, we will overcome our innate need to hate. Instead, we will extend a hand of warm welcome and showcase our much touted human compassion, rather than throwing rocks at them and saying Jesus thinks they are an abomination. Hopefully in the next half-century, when we do finally get around to making Adam 2.0, we’ll have advanced to a higher level of respect. But until then, we have to err on the side of caution. So the next time your toaster spits out burnt bread, don’t chalk it up to faulty wiring—that’s what the robots want you think. Really it’s a pre-emptive attack to check our defences. Don’t give the little bastard a chance to relay the information back to his command. Be a patriot and beat it with a baseball bat. f
illustration by Caitlin Viitamaki
thefulcrum.ca | Sept. 23–29, 2010
opinions | 21
All along the ivory tower
Some governments are just too good for facts
A student a-loan
Sylvain Lanouette | Fulcrum Contributor
“AS LIFE OPENS its doors, so do we.” Thus reads the Nova Scotia Student Assistance (NSSA)’s deceptively warm, encouraging slogan, the unnecessary italics and bemusing use of uppercase letters— tell me, what is the difference between regular life and “Life”?—only adding to its suspiciousness. The schmaltzy motto makes my stomach churn—but not just because of the haphazard capitalization. You see, there was once a time when those eight words inspired in me nothing but hope and optimism. I spent the past four years completing an English degree at the University of Ottawa, most of the costs of which were graciously covered by my loving parents—the catch being that any subsequent education would be my financial burden. I blithely agreed, since I knew from various glossy, gushing government propaganda that my home province and country would be there to help me achieve my dreams of a second degree, no matter what my situation. I was wrong. My first mistake had been to move in with my long-time boyfriend a year and a half ago. This living arrangement, according to NSSA, made him my “spouse”. I was therefore obliged to include information on his income and tax return on my student loan application. “Well, no big deal,” I thought, naively. “They’ll clearly see that he hasn’t even been out of school for six months and that he’s making about as much as one would expect to make at an entry-level marketing job.”
THE LONG CENSUS is over. Th is latest stunt by the Harper government places it at odds, yet again, with science and the treatment of data, and appears as another Conservative mishap showing an alarming trend. Each year, scientific evidence is getting bullied out of the decisionmaking process by political posturing and stubborn ideological mentality. Our current government’s clashes with environmental and climate scientists are now epic, and seen by many as an embarrassment for our international image. In 2007, the Harper government was accused of purposefully delaying a report on climate change adaptation by Natural Resources Canada intended for the UN Climate Change Conference in Bali. The following year, the government all but forced the resignation of the chair of the organizing committee of the World Meteorological Organization’s Climate Conference. Th is spring, scientists of Natural Resources Canada were informed that they would require the approval of the Minister of Natural Resources’ office before speaking with the media—cutting Canadians off from scientists whose works are fi nanced by tax dollars. The confl ict goes beyond the green disciplines. Created in 2004, the National Science Adviser position was intended to report directly to the Privy Council Of-
fice (aka the prime minister) on matters of science policy. It was fi rst distanced from the prime minister in 2006, when the Harper government requested the adviser to report to Industry Canada instead—yes, the same department which dismissed the long census form. Two years later, the Harper government simply dissolved the position. The move was decried by scientists all over the world. In 2008, the current Minister of Industry and great slayer of the long census, Tony Clement, in a chest-thumping stand, called the Vancouver safe injection site, InSite, an “abomination.” In response to his adversaries in the Canadian Medical Association, he cited a single negative study—dismissing over 20 reports demonstrating the project’s positive effects. In 2009, when the very Minister of State for Science and Technology, Gary Goodyear, was asked about his stance on evolution, he answered, “I’m not going to answer that question. I am a Christian, and I don’t think anybody asking a question about my religion is appropriate.” That he refused to answer is an issue secondary to what he did say. For the Minister of State for Science and Technology, an established scientific theory becomes a simple matter of what you choose to believe. But the issue here is not a war waged on science by Conservatives. They are not the fi rst to dismiss inconvenient scientific fi ndings or limit access to data,
even if they are currently the most adept at it. Conservatives are not at war with science—ideology is. The fi rst weapon in this battle is the disregard for facts; the abandon of the reliable long census is a prime example of this. The ideology game is easy to play: take the stand with your desired set of beliefs and pick the facts you like to add to them. You can even make some up, as long as they sound in accord with your first idea. Science works the opposite way, shredding any prejudice in order to consider the data and arrive at a conclusion. But so continues the practice of privileging ideology, faith, and assumption over fact, observation, and reality. As an anonymous advisor of the former George W. Bush administration told the New York Times Magazine’s Ron Suskind, “[Reality-based communities are] not the way the world really works anymore. We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality … we’ll act again, creating other, new realities.” The willingness of our current Conservative government to disregard data in order to make way for ideology should be disturbing to anyone. To researchers and scientists of all suits, it should be cause of major alarm. Respect for the integrity of data is at the core of scientific investigation—and out of respect for that, institutions of learning should know better than to let the census controversy be forgotten. f
Laurel Hogan | Fulcrum Contributor
I was wrong. Again. The wonderful people at NSSA universally assume that all so-called spouses will contribute financially to their student-spouse’s education. Apparently, this translates to a rather generous donation of $15,000, courtesy of my boyfriend. Never mind that that’s almost half his annual income, and never mind that he has rent and living expenses of his own to pay for. Under these conditions, my calculated need by NSSA was a grand total of $178—a measly estimate that does not warrant any funds from NSSA or Canada Student Loans. NSSA, as I soon discovered after a series of less-than-helpful phone conversations, is satisfied that this is a fair assessment of my needs. Although I was able to secure a student line of credit from my bank, I still feel slighted by my province’s student-loan program—especially since I was able to get an estimate from the Ontario Student Assistance Program which showed that I could have received about $2,000 in grants and $8,000 in loans. What’s so wrong with NSSA that prevents them from helping a student who so clearly does not have the funds to cover her education? Students of higher education are routinely called the “leaders of tomorrow,” but with the everinflating costs of tuition and living, how am I expected to even make it to “tomorrow” without a little help? Perhaps, then, a new slogan is in order: “As Life opens its doors, we lock ours behind you.” f
Interested in Law? Want experience as an Arbitrator? The judicial authority of the SFUO known as the SAC (Student Arbitration Committee) needs YOU. If you are prepared for the responsibility of upholding the Constitution and ruling on difficult matters, this opportunity may be just what you’ve been looking for. We need competent bilingual people who have, or are willing to acquire, an in-depth knowledge of the constitution. To Apply: Send your resume and 250 words explaining why you want to be an arbitrator to email@example.com
distractions FEATURES Jaclyn Lytle | firstname.lastname@example.org | (613) 562 5258
Dear Di... Dear Di, I am a 22-year-old male virgin. That’s right; I somehow made it through university without getting laid. I bet most girls would find that sad or loserish rather than cute or honourable, so I plan to keep it a secret. When I finally do get to screw, do you think I could convincingly fake some experience? Also, how long do guys typically last their first time? —Not Quite Steve Carrell Dear NQSC, Let me start by saying that, given the statistics I’ve seen and the letters I’ve received, a 22-year-old virgin, male or female, is really not much of an anomaly. Fornication rates are steadily declining as we move further into the 2000s, and phenomena like chastity vow ceremonies and abstinence agreements are notably on the rise. Teens and young adults must have fi nally found out how to keep it in their pants because campuses across the nation are starting to get very virginal indeed. Sadly, not all news is good news, and boy do I have some bad news for you if you’re really planning on lying your way out of your virginity unnoticed. While some men are lucky to be naturally talented in the sack, sex is defi nitely difficult to coordinate for most fi rst-timers. Nervousness can cause temporary erectile dysfunction, and if you’re not used to all the slipping and sliding around, chances are you’ll get at least one disgruntled “You’re not in” comment from your unsuspecting partner in crime. As far as lasting long is concerned, virgins are known for their unique ability to take either a millisecond or a millennium to finish, meaning that you should probably keep
your fi ngers crossed that you’ll fall somewhere in the middle. Unfortunately my late-blooming buddy, all of this goes to say that no, you are probably not going to be able to fake any experience with anything besides your right hand. You may be expecting me to pick up here with some ill-conceived, clichéd diatribe about how dishonest you’re being, and tell you about the importance of losing your virginity to someone you love—but I won’t. Frankly, I completely understand that just because you want to do the deed with someone doesn’t mean you trust them enough to tell them your whole sex-free saga. A piece of advice though for the big night: maybe slide in a sentence or two about how it’s been a while and you’re feeling a little off your game. That way, if things don’t go so hot, your bodacious bedfellow will be a little more understanding, and if by chance you come off as a learned lover, then you’ll leave her wondering how amazing you are on a good day. Love, Di Dear Di, I had a boyfriend a while back that liked the all-bare-down-there look. I was happy to oblige at the time, but now that he and I have parted ways I’ve allowed things to get a little fuller downstairs. My problem is this: before I shaved my snatch the hair down there was full and curly, but now that it’s growing in it’s straight and coarse. What’s the deal? Do I need to invent the pubic perm to get my bush back? —Cunt Catastrophe Dear CC, Before I begin, I would just like to say bravo for being brave enough to pluck
Sudoku anwsers on page 7.
your pussy for your man’s preference. Down-there hair is the source of many sexual incompatibilities and I think it’s fabulous that you felt fi ne with taking the plunge just to spice up your sex life. Now, let me explain something to you: the fi rst time hair grows in a new
part of the body, whether pubic or not, it is as soft and virginal as it will ever be. New hair can come in coarse, but depending on your genes you could easily end up with a cute and curly mane down there once everything fi lls in for the fi rst time. But, like the hair on your head, legs, or underarms, the more you mess with it the more it changes. Shaving or plucking hair causes minor follicle damage, which could either result in the follicle ceasing to produce more hair, or producing
thicker, coarser, and more resilient hair to withstand what you put it through. What does this mean for you? Basically that the bush you’ve got is the bush you’re stuck with. Once hair starts coming in coarse and changes from curly to straight, it’s pretty much out of your control. Either make friends with your new mane or invest in a good waxing kit—those pubes aren’t going anywhere. Love, Di
Sexy Sidenote Whale penises are called dorks. The blue whale sports the biggest penis, topping out at about 3 metres in length and 0.3 metres in diameter. Maybe that will make you think twice the next time you call someone a dorkwad.
Mistranslations | XKCD
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Amanda Shendruk | email@example.com | (613) 562 5261
Volume 71, Issue 4, Sept. 23–29 Using fancy literary words since 1942. Phone: (613) 562 5261 | Fax: (613) 562 5259 631 King Edward Ave. Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5 Recycle this, please.
staff Amanda ‘allegory’ Shendruk Editor-in-Chief Jessie ‘juxtaposition’ Willms Production Manager Mercedes ‘motif’ Mueller Executive Editor Alex ‘mystery’ Martin Art Director Katherine ‘denouement’ DeClerq News Editor Charlotte ‘climax’ Bailey Arts & Culture Editor Jaclyn ‘laureate’ Lytle Features Editor Jaehoon ‘kenning’ Kim Sports Editor Chelsea ‘antonym’ Edgell Online Editor Briana ‘heroine’ Hill Associate News Editor Katrina ‘foil’ Medwenitsch Staff Writer Kate ‘epilogue’ Waddingham Staff Photographer Nicole ‘foreshadowing’ Bedford Copy Editor Alexandra ‘stanza’ Schwabe Proofreader Will ‘iambic pentameter’ Robertson Webmaster Katarina ‘paradox’ Lukich Volunteer & Visibility Coordinator David ‘dystopian’ McClelland General Manager firstname.lastname@example.org Andrew ‘archetype’ Wing Advertising Representative email@example.com
contributors Josh Bereza Tegan Bridge Natasha Chaykowski Amanda Daniels Emmaline English Kristyn Filip Desmond Fisher Sarah Gisele Samantha Graitson Sofia Hashi Andrew Hawley Marie Hoekstra Laurel Hogan Jennifer Hurd Allan Johnson Hisham Kelati Serge Lafontaine Sylvain Lanouette
Corin Latimer Abria Mattina Amanda McCambridge Kevin McCormick Katherine McDonald Anton Ninkov Martha Pearce Maria Rondon Danielle Vicha Caitlin Viitamaki Deirdre Walters Marco WalkerNg Victor Yan Cover art by Alex Martin
photo illustration by Alex Martin
Pick your battles N EWSPAPERS LOVE CONTROVERSY. Th is is especially true of student newspapers; however, it’s true for their readers as well. Student politicians, journalists, and advocates thrive on debate, drama, and disputes. And students at the U of O are certainly no exception. Two campus controversies have recently angered a number of students: the implementation of the U-Pass and the conversion of the U of O into a bottled water-free campus. We’ve received a number of letters about the bottled water campus contention, and a recent opinion piece on the U-Pass is racking up the comments on our website. Complaints about the U-Pass and the lack of bottled water seem to be on everybody’s lips. However, there’s a difference between legitimate dissent and just straight-up complaining. U-Pass: Stop complaining! We’ll reserve judgment on whether the U-Pass is a progressive or constric-
tive move for this campus, but we need to tell you that we’ve had enough of the grumbling. Whining and sighing can get you places when you’re a toddler, but on campus you need to pick your battles more strategically. And you’re not going to get any sympathy when you had every chance to voice your opinion—and do something about it—earlier this year. To all those who are not in their firstyear: Do you realize that there was a referendum on this issue in February? No one forced the U-Pass on you—a democratic process was followed in which a campaign period was allowed, ending with a vote on whether or not you were willing to shell out your coveted cash. Yes, we’ve heard the arguments about how “devious” the referendum period was, but the fact is that you all had the opportunity to vote and you all had the opportunity to inform yourselves about the issue in advance. Frankly, and whether you like it or not, there’s not much you can do now. Unless you were one of the 21.9 per cent of students who got off his or her ass to vote, you don’t have the right to com-
plain. Your effort, however, is admirable, so why don’t you put it into something useful? Bottled water ban: Legitimate lament
Whether or not you think the ban is, to put it painfully simply, right or wrong, it should be pointed out that this is an issue never put before students. And judging by some of the reactions, maybe it should have been. U of O intellectuals weren’t given the opportunity to debate the merits or evils of bottled water, and students were never asked to vote on whether the initiative was an appropriate use of our student leaders’ time and resources. If you feel the bottled water-free campus initiative has significantly impacted your life at this university, or you feel the ban is an aff ront to your rights, then you have every right to complain about, and try to change, it. In a democratic system you vote for people you think will represent your best interests, and if you think they fall short, it’s your responsibility to
let them know. If you’re upset about this move, make up for the chance you didn’t take with the U-Pass: write letters to the student government and the administration, organize a public debate on the topic, or compose a rant for our opinions section. On the other hand, if you wholeheartedly believe in the elimination of bottled water from campus, petition the university to make the experience better for all: encourage better drinking fountains, organize an information session on the ills of bottled water, and tell your student leaders what a good job you think they’re doing. Whatever your view—and whatever the topic—make or advocate for change when you can, and do it with gusto. And for the times when you missed out, or failed to create reform, move on. Don’t give up, but put your energy into something you can change—and please, stop complaining. editor@thefulcrum. (613) 562 5261
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