A guide to dating your ex's best friend ( or sister)

So, you and your girlfriend have broken up. But there's a plus side: during the relationship you got to know her cute friend, and now that you're available, that friend seems interested. Now you need to figure out how you go about wooing and dating someone from your ex's circle of friends.

Here are the steps to take.

If you're like a lot of guys, the first question you're going to want to answer is: Am I even allowed to date my ex's friend? Don't worry though, the answer is unequivocally yes. Your ex doesn't get a say in your life anymore, and as long as the friend is interested there's no reason you two hooking up should be forbidden.

However, there's also a big "BUT" that goes on the end of that answer. Dating an ex's friend may not be forbidden, but it will likely cause some damage and hurt feelings. Depending on how serious you are about the new woman, and how your ex and the friends you two share are likely to react to the situation, deciding that you two can date doesn't necessarily mean that you should.

Before you start the wooing process, you need to honestly figure out why you want to hook up with your new girl. Are you really interested in her, or just interested in making your ex jealous? If dating her friend is just a method to get back at your ex, it's best to stop now.

Revenge is never a good foundation for a relationship, and is likely to cause more problems in your personal life down the road than it's worth.

Just because you and your new girl already know each other doesn't mean that you get to skip steps in the dating process. You have an existing relationship as friends, but not as a potential couple. Treat her like you would any other new woman you're dating: talk about common interests, gauge her interest, and make your move when the time is right.

Once the two of you agree to date, don't think that a previous acquaintanceship means you just skip past taking her out on a wellplanned date or two. Take her out to a restaurant she likes, and dress to impress her like you would any other dating prospect. Putting in effort is important at this stage – wear a respectable shirt and slacks that'll make her proud to be seen with you.

Once you and your ex's friend are firmly dating, treat your relationship like you would any other. Don't keep it a secret or act like you're sneaking around.

Tell your friends about how much you enjoy being with each other, and make it official on social media where people can see. Neither of you has anything to hide, and acting like you do only makes it look like you're ashamed. Don't be. You've got nothing to hide.

Dating her friend might cause some tension between you and your ex, but it doesn’t have to permanently ruin your post-breakup relationship. Be respectful of your ex’s feelings, and don’t let your new relationship stop you from staying friends (if possible). Also, don’t try to stop the friendship between your new girlfriend and your old one. If they want to be friends, be respectful and encouraging toward their friendship.

Even though you should go about the dating process like normal, keep in mind that your new girlfriend has probably already heard lots about you from your ex. She may not say it at first, but eventually some of it will come up. If you're going to be dating her, get comfortable with that idea before it happens.

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