Maria K steinsson
Will happiness find me? Why is everything so far away? Why does the earth turn one full circle once a day? What does my do think? Who’s going to pay for my beer? What’s the name of this forest? Where is my bed? Is this brown lump edible? Would it help if I dug a hole? Are animals people? Has the last bus gone? When is the money coming? Why doesn’t she call? Who runs the city? What happened4.56 billion years ago? How long is the Nile? How much is 42x87? What good is the moon? Is my being filled with serenity? Should I get drunk? Another glass? Is it OK to close your eyes and see colourful abstract images when You’re listening to music? Do I have to envision the universe as foam? Do we go through a wall when we fall asleep? Was I a good child? Is there any farmlife left in the family? Who’s nibbling on my house? little Am I too good to work? Is the earth a mother? Is my soul bedded on straw? Is my body a hotel? Should I make myself some soup? Was it a mistake not to run away from home? Am I a donkey? Is there a secret tunnel leading directly to the kitchen? Should I marry my mother?
Am I my car? Is my brain a poorly furnished apartment? Why do I always fall out of bed at night? Do souls wander? Are people right to feel sorry for me? Should I live in the woods as a robber? Does that dog bark all night? Is everything half as bad? Is everything a dream? Would I make a good cop? Is hunger an emotion? Am I musically homeless? Should I show more interest in the world? Am I a serf of the decimal system? Why is it so quiet all of a sudden? Will insects overtake us? Why do we stick to the ground? Where is the galaxy heading? Who owns Paris? Is the devil a cheerful person? Does my car know me? Should I slaughter my pig? What drives me? Where will I end up today? Can music be used to calm me down? Is everything I have ever forgotten as big as a house? Should I make myself available for research? Do I know almost nothing about myself? Am I frittering away my life? Is my ignorance a roomy cave? How do I come across? Do opinions come on their own? Am I loved? Why donâ€™t they leave me alone in peace? Is the world there when Iâ€™m not? Should I walk around in rags?
Am I one of the chosen? Why are there bad people? Could I have become something else? Is freedom alive? Does pig-headed wishing help? Is resistance useless? Am I an oddball? Are fashions plagues? Is it possible to do everything wrong? Should I let myself go? Why is everybody so nice all of a sudden? Why does nothing ever happen? Can ghosts see me? Am I invisible to ghosts? Have I ever been completely awake? Is sleeping the only way to fight fatigue? Am I caught in a web? Is a witch riding me? Should I smoke opium? Do we see the dark side of the world on television at night? Why does it take the earth one full year to circle around the sun? Should I visit alien galaxies in my space ship? Do I have to imagine death as a landscape with a house that you can Walk into and there’s a bed to sleep in? Should I build a hut in the woods and live there alone in poverty? Whose fatigue do I feel? Is it more important for the world or for me to be doing well? What’s in a dog that enjoys lying in the sun? Does profound peace prevail at home when I’m not there? Are two times two probably four? Should I leave reality in peace? Does cosiness lead straight to disaster and crime? Am I too well groomed? Am I too soft? Should I shun the light of day? Are cowsheds the fountain of cosiness?
How should I decorate my tree? Are the aliens going to abduct us to paradise? Is a ghost marching next to me? Should I buy a strong lamp? How thick is the fog? Is she carrying a weapon? Is my stupidity a warm coat? Why does everything revolve around me? Can I still drive? Do I like a good brawl? Can I may I do everything? Where does the trail of blood lead? Why is the forest silent? Are we loosing control? Can I twist and turn everything the way I want? What do they know about me? Should I eat chalk? Did I say something wrong yesterday? Do I have to stay outside? Do we have to look at things soberly? Does everything take care of it’s self? Am I gross? Where is the nearest police station? What percent of me is animal? Why do they hound me on all the channels at night? Should I launch an investigation? Isn’t everything always against me? Should I swallow less? Why do they keep filming me around the clock? Why do I always have to fight? Could we complain about most things? Is she drunk? Should I sow malice hatred and spite? Why do I always know better? Why doesn’t anybody appreciate that I behave normally? Am I justifiably conceited, vain and complacent?
Is the stench coming from outside? Should I invade Russia? Should I punish the world by ignoring it? Will children sing songs about me in a hundred years time? Should I satisfy myself? Doesnâ€™t everything on television have something to do with me? Am I beautiful? Am I bloated windbag? Is my stomach ache bad enough to call in sick? Are feelings determined by bodily fluids? Can the principle of yeast be applied to a lot of other things? Is the realm of possibility getting smaller and smaller? Is my digestive system a wonderful thing? Is my web of lies a master piece of innovation and engineering? Is any means justified to stave off a bad mood? Am I being exploited? Why am I always right? Is it presumptuous to ask for a little soup after a hard dayâ€™s work? Do we have to do penance fir everything? Can something be unbelievable? Should I get drunk? Why do they want to know where I was yesterday at 2.30pm? Am I doomed to wander through the vale of tears as a clown? Is it time for an overthrow? Can truth do whatever it wants? Get away with everything? Do facts check up on me? Should I pay less attention to my worries? Why does the world afford the luxury of having me? Am I being snubbed? Could I be Japanese? Do I need something sweet? Are feelings private? Why do I let myself be ordered around? All the time? Should I trash everything? Are they eating everything away from me?
Am I a lousy, stinking rat? Do I have to make myself clearer? Why is everyone else always better off? Can I let my wife admire the criminals she sees on television? Will they blame me for everything? Am I abusing my power? Should I lie? Is it ok for my feelings to ignore my reservations? Why can’t I sit still? Why can’t I be really truly cheerful? Do I have to be cheerful? Why do I always agree with everything? Is everything a hopeless shitty mess? Am I good for everything? Should I go to another city and rent an apartment under a false name? Is it dangerous to dream of another life all the time? Am I needlessly torturing myself? Do I have to go through all of that again? Do things happen (just) not happen slowly enough? Did something go terribly wrong for me after the Big Bang? Should I be put in chains? Should I put myself under surveillance? Shouldn’t I be ashamed of things that have nothing to do with me? Will something leak out? Is the world full of secret messages? Should I pay less attention to my worries? Shall I go under? Can I re-establish my ignorance? Am I a sponge? Am I taking the wrong drugs? Must i be ashamed of having no opinion about most things? Is the freedom of birds overrated? Is Mr. Insanity at the door? Should I secretly rent a room in Fairfield? Am I someone else in private? Should I put my well-being at the centre of my activities?
Is there anything for scientists left to find out about me? Should I have somebody polish up my appearance? For a fee? Are my feelings appropriate? Can she tell? Are illusions frustrated by the coldness of the world? Is my indecisiveness proof of my free will? Can I be happy with my head? Could they use me in a good movie? Would I like to be a mysterious person, full of secrets? Have they finished making me conform? Should I have a good photographer take a good picture of me? Why is my blanket so heavy? Should I buy a bigger hammer? Am I suffering from good taste? Have they kept my noble origins a secret from me? Does a dull glow settle on me when I watch TV? Are most thing connected with everything else? Does coziness and elegance go their separate ways? Have I never been completely awake? Is everything worse than i used to be? Is she sulking? Do I have to get up and go to work? Am I leading a modern life? Is the world as hard and cold as raw concrete? Is the coldness of the world best rendered in hard concrete? What does my soul do when Iâ€™m at work? Can I open up a store without knowing what I want to sell? Do spiders weave their webs by touch? Should I fly to India in a balloon? Canâ€™t somebody else do that for me? Is life a strange system of caves? Should I give everything away and roam the world as a beggar? Does my car get filled with feelings when I drive? How little can I work and still call the rest of my time free time? Does a ghost drive my car at night? Are countries living creatures?
Was my bath too hot? Are my fellow human beings at my mercy? Is carelessness good for melancholy? Should I buy a gun? Should I remove my muffler and drive around the neighbourhood at night? Should I add some ill will to my pleasant nature? Should I put some perfume on? And light a candle? Are there false feelings? Is there such a thing as bad music? Are people flowers? Is my soul the ghost that drives my car at night? Do I have to imagine subatomic space as something huge and dark and silent that you can climb down into? Why won’t they let us talk about things we don’t understand? Does my soul ever drive around the neighbourhood at night without a muffler? Does my soul live in a far-off land? What does my muffler do when I drive around without it? What happens to all the TV shows I don’t see? Was the clown even real? Should I weasel my way out of every decision? Was there someone in my room? Does my soul watch the TV shows I missed in a foreign country? Would anybody look for me if I disappeared? What’s dozing in secret? What are those gloomy figures doing in the twilight at the end of the street? Does unease grow by itself? Should I crawl into my bed and stop producing things all the time? Is the engine warming up to me? Am I a clean, well-oiled machine? Is the nice things about working that there’s no time left? Does reality really deserve such distrust? Is happiness looking for my in the wrong place?
Answers / Text // Images
…and I experienced a moment of utter madness. Without thinking, I peeled off half my sandwich, leaned out and let go. I realised almost immediately that I had done very, very stupid thing. If it hit them, I would be murdered… Don’t be stupid, life learns from experimentation. As surely as Angels always abound, you gotta be nuts to want to stay nuts. Budding humans and humans flowering. I am lost without my Boswell. I wish he knew. It enjoys Dilmah tea with Marie Antoinette in the pleasing shade of a pergola. …The slice hit him in the face and stuck, jammy side down. For a couple of seconds Craterface just stood there, absolutely motionless, the slice of bread sitting there like a face pack… The over-sentimetalisation of objects, regressive, depressing. Lots of old useless stuff that I wish I could throw away. I think it is better to remember what you have. Occasionally it is, and I love it, but it falls in between journeys to the dark side. Depends on where the light source is. If your mum says so. Yes, but you have to listen closely and know where to look. …the disappearing nail varnish was found in the mouths of the children. As I peered in, they proudly presented their brightly enamelled molars. Relieved, pain-free, the varnish had worked its magic; filling holes and cracks, it had slowly penetrated and hardened… The last bus has gone and the first one is coming. Happiness does not seek for man; man seeks for the reason for being. Because she’s just somebody I miss everyday but she never knew I loved her. Mumbling and stumbling of sweet nothings. It is always with you. No, the frog remained on your shoulder, and ate the fly.
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