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VOL 42/22 3.30.2016





Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016





TriMet drivers aren’t allowed to

elect a convicted felon who defrauded the government as a leader of their union. 6

Portland mayoral front-runner Ted Wheeler previously tried to win a spot on Boston’s city council. He lost. 13

People in Los Angeles and San Francisco are too busy to vote. People in Spokane are not. 7

Reports of the death of Barney the purple dinosaur have been greatly exaggerated. 25

The Democratic Party is the party of new-economy winners, and no longer cares about losers. 9

Germany is super-cool. 27

The homeless lost St. Francis Park, but are getting shiny new digs a couple blocks away. 11

buffalo, which is roughly the size of a Car2Go without paying $1,000. 39



Old Timber Ted photo by Thomas Teal. Illustrations by Skylar Nguyen.

You have only three more days to see the mounted head of a cape

A bird landed on Bernie Sanders’ lectern while he was talking about Wall Street and billionaires and stuff.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth

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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



As a former colonial subject (Indian origin, grew The city should give only one parking permit up in East Africa), I’m intrigued by this restaurant per household, not one permit per resident and will gladly visit it the next time I am in town. [“Pay to Park,” WW, March 23, 2016]. I live in It’s clear to me that Ms. Krantz wishes to celebrate a townhouse in Northwest and have tons of the food and not the politics of colonial power. If one feels the need to protest this neighbors who have driveways but restaurant, such energy might be also own multiple cars and park on the street. better directed toward solving local problems of exploitation and bigotry Also, if the city wants to be egal(African-Americans, Muslims) in itarian, it should consider a lottery our own backyard. system for the neighborhoods with Honestly, I have more of an issue permits. You cant expect to have a lot of development without feeling with “Tex-Mex” than I do with “Safthe repercussions of the additional fron Colonial.” It’s a sign of white privilege that hipsters have the leiparking crunch. sure time to boycott/protest/sit They can only overbook the on their bums and rant about this. parking situation so much before “Raise the it’s going to get out of hand, which parking-permit —Ranijit Guha I suppose in some ’hoods it already rate to $500 a has. Raise the parking-permit PPS CONTRACT UNDER year, and see rate to $500 a year for close-in INVESTIGATION neighborhoods with multifamily how many There seems to have been a housing, and see how many people people ditch lapse in judgment by Jon Issacs ditch their cars. in awarding, what ultimately their cars.” —“pdxtex” turned out to be, a rather expensive spreadsheet [Murmurs: “PPS No-Bid ConI appreciate the article, but I’m left scratching tract Is Under Investigation,” WW, March 23, my head at your equating on-street parking with 2016]. neighborhood livability. As Robert Bolt wrote in A Man for All Seasons: I’ve heard livability used to describe a lot of “When statesmen forsake their own private conthings, but parking has never been one of them. science for the sake of their own public duties, —“JeffS” they lead their country by a short route to chaos.” —“KPV”


Saffron Colonial owner Sally Krantz has every option to expand her concept to engage more honestly with the history of British and North American colonialism [Starters: “Colonial Rule,” WW, March 23, 2016]. She could do so while still serving the dishes she loves and educating herself about their history. Instead, she’s talking down to people of color and explaining to anyone who will listen that she’s not a racist and is as liberal as they come. Yep, sounds like Portland to me. —“azachary”


Your column is a hoot! One question: If you register to vote On-line, who checks your proof of Citizenship? —Bar

The fact that you hyphenate “online,” refer to things as “a hoot,” and indulge in Teddy Roosevelt-era random capitalization, Bar, suggests you’re not writing me because you’re 18 and want to know how to cast your first ballot. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Fie upon the young anyway, with their “emojis,” their “Snapchat,” their “erections.” I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m an old person writing a column about old-person stuff for other old people. Come, let us talk of bowel movements, and hard candy, and the Kaiser. Would-be Oregon voters have had the option of registering online since 2010. (Google “My Vote Oregon” to find the page.) Last year, Gov. Kate Brown made the process easier by signing a first-in-the-nation bill to automatically register 4

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

Over and over, Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith’s team assigns no-bid contracts to friends, family and cronies who hide problems rather than solve them. Thank you to reporters for pursuing these shenanigans and to PPS Board members now demanding accountability. —“uBrute” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

voters using driver’s license data. If you’ve renewed your Oregon driver’s license since 2009, when tougher requirements went into effect, you know they now take the citizenship portion pretty seriously, and woe betide you if your papers aren’t in order. Essentially, the Secretary of State’s Office has avoided the Stalinist nightmare of making you prove your right to exist by outsourcing that task to the DMV, which—I think we can all agree—is the bureau to beat when it comes to Stalinist nightmares. But if you don’t have an Oregon-issued ID? Do we just have to take your word that you’re legit? And wouldn’t that expose online voter registration to all sorts of fraud and mischief? Maybe—but no more so now than before. The online form doesn’t require proof of citizenship, but neither did the paper mail-in form that came before it. Falsifying either, however, is a felony good for five years in prison. Anyone who’s willing to run that kind of risk would probably rather forge checks, or prescriptions, and have something to show for their trouble. QUESTIONS? Send them to


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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Commissioner Nick Fish Pitches Lobbying Reforms

Should political consultants be required to disclose when they provide advice to an elected city official? Portland City Commissioner Nick Fish says yes. This week, Fish will introduce a city ordinance that for the first time would require Portland political consultants to register their activity with the city. Fish’s proposal, which heads to the Portland City Council on April 13, grows out of Portland’s saga with Uber. Amid 2014 negotiations with the ride-hailing giant, a political consultant to Mayor Charlie Hales, Mark Wiener, also lobbied on behalf of Uber. Wiener’s dual role came to light in stories WW reported last year. New disclosure requirements would improve transparency, Fish says. “Our goal is to provide some sunshine,” he says. “Political consultants wield enormous influence.” Meanwhile, City Auditor Mary Hull Caballero is trying to close the revolving door between political office and lobbying: Caballero’s proposal would prohibit city bureau directors, elected officials and their at-will staff members from lobbying other city officials for two years after they leave City Hall.

Feds Void TriMet Union’s Election

The U.S. Department of Labor has voided the results of the June 2015 election for the officers of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 757, which represents TriMet employees. The decision to nullify the election, in which union members elected Shirley Block president and 6

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

re-elected vice president Jonathan Hunt, came after several ATU members challenged the results in October. A federal investigator who examined the election did not specify in his letter to ATU why the election was invalid, but noted in a separate letter that Daniel Martin, a candidate for vice president, should not have been on the ballot. Last summer, WW reported that Martin, a longtime TriMet bus driver, had in 2006 been convicted of defrauding the government of $78,000 in disability benefits (“Driver’s Record,” WW, June 10, 2015). In a Feb. 19 letter, the Labor Department informed the union that Martin’s conviction made him ineligible to serve as a union official. The feds declined to comment, but ATU president Block said their other concerns included access to email lists and a second ineligible candidate. Members will repeat the election by April 30.

PitchFestNW Selects Contenders

Fifty startups from acround the world—from health companies to weed businesses to financial firms—have been accepted to pitch for cash and more at PitchFestNW, the inaugural pitching competition at TechFestNW. More than 100 startups applied for PitchFestNW, sponsored by WW, where founders will compete in front of experienced investors. Read more about TechFestNW at, and see these startups compete April 25-26 at the Armory in Portland’s Pearl District.




—Zia McCabe, environmental health activist and keyboardist for the Dandy Warhols, giving the March 25 welcome speech for Sen. Bernie Sanders’ rally at Moda Center.

Men in Trees: A Comparative Study Last week, a Seattle man briefly became a national phenomenon by climbing into a downtown sequoia tree and refusing to come down. His arboreal adventure brought back memories of Portland’s own tree-climbing man, just six months ago. Here’s how they stack up. RACHEL MONAHAN.

LOCATION: Portland’s Eastmoreland neighborhood HEIGHT OF TREE: 170 feet LOCATION OF CLIMBER: About 70 feet up CLIMBER: Dave Walters. On Sept. 15, the environmental activist climbed one of three trees slated to be cut down for in-fill housing by a real estate developer. HOURS IN TREE: 76 RESULTS: Neighbors, joined by South Park co-creator Matt Stone, cut a deal to pay the developer $800,000 to save the trees. Walters was nicknamed him “Lorax Dave.”


LOCATION: Downtown Seattle HEIGHT OF TREE: 80 feet LOCATION OF CLIMBER: Top of tree CLIMBER: Cody Lee Miller. The 28-year-old with a history of mental illness climbed the tree March 22 after throwing an apple at another man. Seattle police say he tossed pine cones and pieces of metal at them. HOURS IN TREE: 24 RESULTS: Seattleites created the hashtag #ManInTree. Miller was charged March 28 with first-degree malicious mischief and third-degree assault.


POSSIBLE BLAZERS PLAYOFF FOES After an unlikely season of breakouts, modernist coaching and perhaps magic, the Portland Trail Blazers are close to clawing their way into the bottom half of the NBA Western Conference playoffs. But what if they make it? Who should our heroes confront in a first-round series next month? Don’t get us wrong: They will lose any of these series. But some losses are more pleasant than others. CORBIN SMITH.


RECORD: 46-27 The best possible collection of rickety-ass head cases and derelicts in the NBA, the Clippers are nearly incapable of playing an uninteresting playoff series. Expect Chris Paul to tag C.J. McCollum in the testicles. PORTLAND WOULD LOSE IN: Six games, or the Clippers melt down and Portland embarrasses them in five.


RECORD: 52-22 This series would feature a reunion with Kevin Durant, Thunder owners who made their fortunes in oil, and a team stolen from the other major city in the American Northwest. A delectable stew of resentment, redstate/blue-state anger, and Sonics jerseys. PORTLAND WOULD LOSE IN: Six, but a mean six. A bloody six.


RECORD: 874-0 The Blazers would get flattened, but at least you’d get to watch the insanely entertaining Warriors in the process. Not to mention, you might be able to buy a cheap second-round playoff ticket if it’s looking sweepy. PORTLAND WOULD LOSE IN: Four. But if they lost in five, it would be surprisingly moving.


W H E R E W E ’ R E AT

Voter Participation Sen. Bernie Sanders (D -Vt.) dominated the Democratic presidential caucuses in Washington state March 26, picking up 25 delegates in a much-needed win over Hillary Clinton. The victory followed a Bernie barnstorming trip. In the space of two weeks, Sanders made multiple visits to the Portland-Vancouver area, Seattle and…Spokane? Yes, Spokane—and for good reason. The citizens of Spokane vote. In the November 2012 presidential election, Spokane ranked 10th nationally in voter

participation, with the highest voting rate on the West Coast. The Portland-Vancouver area was closer to the national average of 54 percent in 2012—though we still beat San Francisco and Los Angeles, both of which have large immigrant populations who can’t cast ballots. Perhaps Gov. Kate Brown’s automatic voter-registry law will help increase Portland’s numbers. But we’re going to have to get up early in the morning to beat Spokane. AARON MESH.

S O U R C E : C I T Y V I TA L S 3 . 0




RECORD: 62-12 This series has a high upside for catharsis if the Blazers somehow manage to leave LaMarcus Aldridge weeping and broken. But that won’t happen. The Spurs are a 3-ton weight that gently crushes your rib cage. PORTLAND WOULD LOSE IN: Five. Damian Lillard wins one game on his own.

Number of votes cast in the November 2012 presidential election divided by the voting age population of the metropolitan area.


Portland/ Vancouver




San Francisco Los Angeles

59.4% 51.5%


Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016




Thomas Frank is done blaming Republicans. Frank, 51, a columnist for Harper’s and a founder of political magazine The Baffler, has tracked, mocked and exposed the language of capitalism for two decades— whether in Nike ads or TED talks. He’s best known for his book, What’s the Matter With Kansas?, which asked why poor Kansans kept voting Republican against their own economic self-interest. But lately, Frank is taking aim at Democrats. His newest book, Listen, Liberal, details how the Democratic Party has abandoned the working class to make wealthy lawyers and Google execs their main constituency. The book, written last year, predicts the populist rebellions of today’s presidential primaries, as both sides abandon their parties for the appeals of Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-Vt.) and Donald Trump. As Frank drove across Kansas (where else?) on his way to an April 1 Powell’s reading, we asked him about what Hillary Clinton gets wrong, what Donald Trump gets right, and why fancy doughnuts won’t save Portland. WW: Most of your books pick on the Republicans. Why are you taking aim at Democrats? Thomas Frank: The Democrats are just as interesting in their own way. They don’t have equal responsibility, but some. It’s maddening to me that they can’t figure out what to do about inequality, how to reach out to the alienated working class. Your book seems to say the Democrats intentionally abandoned the working class. The party of the left chose openly to transform themselves into the party of the professional class, the new-economy winners rather than the party of workers. When the party of the left does that, that’s very naturally going to give you a situation like what we’re in today—inequality, plutocracy, oligarchy. Is there a pivotal moment you think the Democratic party failed working people? There are a series of moments—the one that intrigued me was [presidential candidate George] McGovern in the early 1970s. One of the key members of his group was a guy named Fred Dutton. He more or less said it openly: Liberal white-collar people were the group to choose. Blue-collar workers, they were done as the leader of the progressive movement. What’s wrong with picking the winners? They’re the winners, right? You’re supposed to choose the winners—it’s a good idea, if that’s all you’re concerned

about. The left is traditionally identified with working people. If that’s [not] the identity of your party, you’ve made a tremendous change. It’ll put issues of economic inequality off the table. Our politicians talk about it, they feel bad about it, they wring their hands about it, but they don’t really get it, and they don’t really care about it. So the Democrats serve the rich. The Republicans serve the rich. What’s the difference? The Republicans serve the hierarchy of money. The Democrats serve the hierarchy of status. The hierarchy of money is business, the hierarchy of status is people whose achievement stems from education and professional achievements. Those people tend to be Democrats. The culture of professionalism suffuses the Democratic party, both Obama and Clinton. In the case of Clinton’s bank deregulation, it’s like a meritocracy of failure. Take a guy like [Obama and Clinton cabinet member] Larry Summers. He was in charge of Clinton’s worst policies, he was Harvard president—that didn’t go well. He worked for a hedge fund, then comes back into government and he’s running things? It’s very talented people doing things that are really bad for the country. You’re against experts? I’m in favor of the idea of expertise in government, and the idea of expertise. People like me should not be allowed to fly 747s. [But] in the Obama administration there’s this amazing deference to people who work on Wall Street. It’s really striking—the reverence for these sophisticated, complex financial instruments. It’s people at the top of their profession who identify with and respect one another. That’s one of the rules of being a professional. Isn’t financial sophistication often a marker of fraud? It’s a red flag—undue complexity, this is something to look at deeper. But your modern Democrats look at it and say: Oooh, sophistication! So what do the Democrats do? Return to labor? The unions? That’s gonna be tough. Organized labor is so diminished since the ’60s and ’70s—just a shadow of its former self. I don’t know what the road back is. I think the fi rst step

is understanding what’s wrong. What Bernie is doing is a very healthy first step. They have to pay attention to workers. It’d be easy to get the labor unions to take off again. People are very upset. But the playing field is so tilted against workers it’s hard to do. You voting Bernie? Yes I am. Bill Clinton is almost a villain in your book. Bill Clinton is a hard man to dislike. His charm is legendary. I’m a big cynic about him. I went to the Clinton library, where he narrates the tour—in a device in your ear. I came out in love with the guy, thinking what a brilliant man, a charming man, a witty man who can see beneath the surface. Such an intelligent man. Took me days to shake that off. But in the books that think he’s great—f lattering books—there are five major achievements. NAFTA, the ’94 crime bill, bank deregulation, welfare reform, and balancing the budget. Every single one of those was a disaster, including balancing the budget. Every single one of them was a disaster for the traditional constituency of his party. Which is the worst? NAFTA was a new stage in the industrialization of this country. It permanently weakened organized labor. Academics have studied this. Management threatens to go to Mexico much more often now. This was all predictable at the time; it’s why most Democrats opposed it. And he did it anyway. The ’94 crime bill has become notorious. It’s horrifying: building prisons, running up the people on federal death penalty from 60 to 360, three-strikes laws. This was a terrible time, kind of a nightmare. Clinton signed off on the crack vs. powdered cocaine sentencing disparity. This sentenced so many thousands of black kids to lives in prison. Is Hillary Clinton answerable for any of that? She’s written about how she supported welfare reform. You shouldn’t lay it at her feet, but she should be asked about it. Democrats were proud of that until recently. In previous books you railed against the myth of the “creative economy.” That’s the dream of Portland. I like yummy doughnuts. There was one f lavored by NyQuil. I looked at a doughnut and there was bacon in it. A meat doughnut! I like good food and good coffee. The CONT. on page 11 Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



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NEWS problem is when you organize a city around just appealing to the winners. What happens to everyone else? And it’s a really shitty way to organize the arts. If you do art to attract and flatter society’s winners, it’s a model for artistic production that’s straight out of the Middle Ages, the Gilded Age. It’s spectacular lifestyle experimentation in order to amuse the wealthy. I have a lot of memories of my family from Portland and Vancouver as a child—we’re talking back in the ’70s. It was k ind of a blue-colla r tow n. What happened? I don’t know. We threw a party and everybody came. Your city has made this transition successfully. Other places really haven’t. I was startled to see in The New York Times a list of cities that voted heavily for Donald Trump in the primaries. They were these heavily deindustrialized, economic disaster zones. Fall River, Mass. Big Trump country.

You’re one of the few commenters who doesn’t chalk up the Trump phenomenon to mass insanity. I don’t like Trump. Everything about him rubs me the wrong way. But the focus of the media is on the outrage, the insults, the racism. I wondered if there was anything more. I sat and watched his speeches. I was sort of surprised he had actual content in them that wasn’t stupid, [wasn’t] particularly racist. It was issues a lot of people I know agree with, especially trade. He talked about competitive bidding for prescription drugs, which is a weird thing for a Republican, a crazy thing. He talked about waste in the Pentagon and the military-industrial complex. But he kept going back to trade, watching companies move manufacturing overseas. So you gonna vote Trump if Bernie doesn’t work out? He’s completely unacceptable. If he doesn’t even know the Ku Klux Klan is bad, that’s a deal-breaker. Hillary is very intelligent. She actually will make a decent president. If you’re happy with the way things are going, she will continue that—and she’ll do a good job at it. But she’s openly running as the complacency candidate, saying America is already great. It’s sort of a peculiar position for a liberal candidate. She’s actually been saying a lot of good things, but she’s only saying them because she needs to stop Bernie. That’s my suspicion. What would be awesome is if she had a change of heart. GO: Thomas Frank reads from Listen, Liberal at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651, on Friday, April 1. 7:30 pm. Free.


Hales’ chief of staff, Josh Alpert, says the building may fi rst open as a traditional shelter while the city finalizes plans for the navigation center.



In 2013, Portland Public Schools found a new use for the former Washington High School campus, 32 years after classes were last in session. Real estate developer Venerable Properties paid $2 million for the building and spent more than $17 million to renovate it. The company found archetypal creative-class businesses as tenants: the corporate headquarters of local grocery chain New Seasons and the city’s hippest performance venue, Revolution Hall. Now the building is getting a neighbor—one that also epitomizes the changing face of Portland. A new kind of homeless shelter may be moving in two blocks south to share a piece of the campus. Mayor Charlie Hales made the announcement at his final state of the city address March 25. “The city is partnering with Portland Public Schools to use a now-empty building for a Portland Homeless Navigation Center— an innovation in how shelters operate in a way that builds on people’s inherent dignity,” Hales said in the speech. He didn’t say where the center would be located. But WW reported that afternoon that the city had cut a deal with the school district to lease an outbuilding at the Washington High campus in the Southeast Portland neighborhood of Buckman. Behind the scenes, Hales and PPS Superintendent Carole Smith had been negotiating over the property for at least a month. The plan helps fulfill Hales’ promise to bring more homeless services to neighborhoods across Portland. But it also comes as a surprise to neighbors and nearby businesses. Here are five things to know about the plan:


It’s a homeless shelter that tries to be very welcoming to homeless people to gain them quick access to services and a path out of camps and toward permanent housing. At a San Francisco homeless navigation center, officials allow people to come into the shelter as couples or in groups—a non-starter at most shelters. They can bring in their dogs and get help obtaining drug treatment or finding their families. Earlier this year, Hales toured the San Francisco center with City Commissioner Dan Saltzman and Multnomah County Chairwoman Deborah Kafoury. “We were impressed with the humanity it provided people, and the data show this innovation really works,” Hales said in his speech. “Forty-six percent of clients come from homeless camps, and nearly 60 percent have left to permanent housing in the San Francisco area or back in their hometowns.”

At the south end of the Washington High campus, where PPS still owns a one-floor brick building. That’s the opposite end from the main building, where Revolution Hall and the New Seasons corporate headquarters are located. “The school district told us numerous times they wanted to tear it down,” says Buckman Community Association board member Susan Lindsay.


Smith reached a tentative agreement with Hales on last week, says PPS spokesman Jon Isaacs. The school district won’t charge the city rent. Instead, Hales’ office pledged to pay for bus passes for PPS—a perennial target of budget cuts—and fund police officers to guard school buildings. (The city eliminated the police officer for the Cleveland High School cluster this school year, and reduced the number of police officers for the Franklin High School cluster from two to one, angering parents.) The school district is also asking that PPS students and their families get priority for services, an idea first floated by School Board member Steve Buel.


“We need to learn more about this specific proposal,” says New Seasons spokeswoman Claudia Knotek, “but appreciate the city’s efforts to explore new ways of supporting homeless people.” Jim Brunberg, co-owner of Revolution Hall, says he doesn’t know anything yet about the project. Venerable Properties president Craig Kelly says he met with Hales last week, and has asked the city for more information. “I’m concerned that it could harm us financially and socially,” he says. “Do I need to add more security to my building so I can sleep at night?”


San Francisco saw heavy use of its navigation center. City supervisor David Campos told the San Francisco Chronicle in September the shelter attracted more homeless people to the Mission neighborhood. “Other parts of the city need to step up,” Campos said. The Buckman neighborhood had for nearly three decades been the site of St. Francis Park, a swath of hills and fountains owned by the St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church. The church allowed homeless people to spend their days there, but in 2014 sold the property for affordable housing. “There’s so much need in this area,” says Susan Unger of St. Francis, which serves meals to about 100 people a day. “It will clean up the streets. People will find a place to be and be safer.” Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016





In 1985, a young Ted Wheeler consulted experts. He read reports. Then he opened a video rental store. While an undergraduate at Stanford University, Wheeler bought Palo Alto Home Video, a mom-and-pop shop near campus whose customers included Steve Jobs. “I had a great vision,” says Wheeler, now Oregon’s state treasurer. “I wanted to have the largest video-rental collection in the entire Bay Area.” (He won’t say how much he paid.) And he wanted to do it on his own. Wheeler carried the benefits and burden of a family legacy—generations of Oregon lumbermen who built mills, cut down Douglas fir trees and helped turn them into grocery bags, corrugated boxes and particleboard. The Wheelers’ company merged with others to become in 2000 one of only two Fortune 500 companies in the state. (The other was Nike.) But Wheeler, now 53, set out to prove himself apart from his family. “Not a dime came from Mom and Dad,” he says. Wheeler’s grand plan had a problem. His store rented Betamax cassettes. But people wanted VHS. So Wheeler pivoted, and shifted his company to one that hired out employees to video-tape customers’ weddings and bar mitzvahs. He later sold the business. Wheeler says he learned “you can’t get too married to your original plan. You have to be open-minded to other opportunities as they come your way.” It’s an apt maxim for Wheeler’s personal and political trajectory. CONT. on page 15

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ted talks: Oregon treasurer ted Wheeler greets voters March 24 in the Montavilla neighborhood of southeast Portland as he campaigns for Portland mayor. 14

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

“PEOPLE DON’T REALLY HAVE A CLUE ABOUT WHO I AM OR WHAT MAKES ME TICK OR WHAT MY VALUES ARE. IT’S NEVER BEEN ABOUT THE MONEY IN MY FAMILY.” For 10 years after graduating from Stanford, Wheeler hopscotched from one pursuit to another. He went to Columbia Business School, then Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. He led a civic association, launched a newspaper, lectured at a Boston university, wrote a book, ran unsuccessfully for the Boston City Council, bought and renovated a shopping mall, and worked in finance. (See sidebar, page 16.) “I was exploring different paths,” Wheeler says, “pursuing different interests and passions, any one of which might have led to something. A lot of them led to nothing.” He returned to Oregon in 1997 to work for his older brother’s money management firm, then opened his own investing business. In 2006, at age 43, he launched a political career, winning a bid for the Multnomah County chairmanship. Wheeler’s latest improvisation has him gunning to be Portland’s mayor. By many measures, Wheeler seems a good fit for the mayor’s office (which will have its primary election May 17). Wheeler was once registered as a Republican, but his politics now check most of Portland’s progressive boxes. A close examination of his record shows that he is one of the state’s more accomplished technocrats. He is smart and polite and comes to every forum armed with audits and data. This is, after all, a man who authored a book about good government before he had ever served in one. At the same time, Portland’s “weak mayor” system demands the ability to bring people along. Every proposal by the mayor requires three of five votes from colleagues to pass. “There’s a huge premium on collaboration,” says City Commissioner Nick Fish. That could be a problem for Wheeler. As county chairman and state treasurer, Wheeler has struggled to score victories when winning required more than posing the best argument. When it comes to building coalitions to make things happen—whether reforming the county’s jails or the state’s investment practices—Wheeler has achieved few successes. WW spoke with more than two dozen current and former colleagues of Wheeler’s. A common theme emerged among critics: Wheeler has a habit of getting so focused on his own goals that he can forget to include allies in his plans. “He gets on a roll,” says Joe Baessler, political director for Oregon’s council of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, “and he skips a step.” (AFSCME endorsed both Wheeler and opponent Jules Bailey.) Others, who asked for anonymity because they don’t want to alienate one of Portland’s mayoral frontrunners, are harsher. “He wants to be the smart guy in the room,” says

one Salem insider. “He hasn’t been tested in the art of how to make a deal.” Wheeler has forged an unusual political path by trusting his own ideas above all else. Now he must convince Portlanders that he can listen to other people and find common ground. But he’s not apologizing for his track record. “There are probably episodes one could point to and say, ‘Yeah, I came in with my idea and I pushed it hard,’” he says. “If you want to be a good leader you also have to advocate for what you believe in.”


heeler would like voters to see him as someone who will listen to their frustrations and desires. On a recent windy afternoon during rush hour, Wheeler stood at the corner of Southeast Stark Street and 79th Avenue in the Montavilla neighborhood, talking to an African-American man who declared he’d vote for Donald Trump as payback for slavery. Dressed in a blue button-down shirt under a gray overcoat, Wheeler listened politely, even as the man went on to discuss his dislike for Hillary Clinton, whom the man called “Hitlery.” Wheeler rarely interjected, but occasionally steered the conversation to safer ground. “Haven’t we met before?” he asked. About two hours earlier, Wheeler’s campaign had plopped down a wooden desk outside the Bipartisan Cafe on Stark Street and announced on Twitter that Wheeler’s “office hours” were open. In small groups or individually, people showed up. Their concerns mirrored those echoing throughout the campaign: air pollution, housing affordability, density. Michael Brassell, who said he was torn between voting for Wheeler and Bailey, told Wheeler he didn’t think Portland was doing enough to curb rent hikes. “So what kind of ideas are you talking about?” Wheeler wanted to know. RoseMarie Opp, a Mill Park resident, urged Wheeler to do more to protect Portland’s Bull Run water supply—and fight to keep open reservoirs. “They should not just be destroyed,” she said. “If you think there are strategies we could still use,” Wheeler told her, “I’d love to learn about that.” Four years ago, Mayor Charlie Hales pitched himself as a Mr. Fix It, who would fill potholes, balance the budget and improve policing. Today, Wheeler’s platform focuses on the social ills that have captured voters’ attention. These are themes Wheeler outlined in his 1993 book, Government That Works: Innovation in State and Local Government, which looked at creative public policy solutions to problems such as drug abuse, inequality and inadequate housing. The book isn’t so much a “how to” as a series of

case studies—San Diego’s effort to preserve singleroom-occupancy hotels, Vermont’s scheme to give low-income housing tax credits to private companies that invest in affordable housing, and Massachusetts’ efforts to enforce fair housing laws with penalties that provided funding for more enforcement. But one idea runs throughout the book. Wheeler sums it up on the third page: Smart ideas can trump politics. “The public sector,” he says, “can be innovative, well-managed and effective, even when it comes to solving particularly vexing problems.” Wheeler walked into a Multnomah County chair’s office in 2006 that looked about as inviting as a grizzly’s lair. Three of the female commissioners had been dubbed “mean girls” for their disagreements with former Chairwoman Diane Linn. County Sheriff Bernie Giusto was in the news for alleged abuse of power. Despite these challenges, Wheeler mostly flourished at the county, guiding the agency through a recession that squeezed budgets in all departments. “He brought things together,” says Lisa Naito, a county commissioner who served with Wheeler for two years. “He’s analytical in a good way. He does his homework, and he always did a very good process. I think he’s really a great public servant.” In office, Wheeler delivered east county its promised courthouse, brought transgender health benefits to county employees and ended the practice of asking job applicants about their criminal history. (Years later, Portland City Hall would copy the latter two efforts.) The county chair enjoys tremendous authority over budgets and hiring—more than Portland’s mayor. The courthouse project easily won county commissioners’ support, and Wheeler enacted the other two by executive order. But on other issues that required winning support from outside groups, Wheeler was less triumphant. In 2007, partly in response to Giusto’s troubles, Wheeler pushed to take power from the county sheriff, whose budget of $90 million composed about a quarter of the county’s overall budget but received little oversight from Wheeler and his fellow commissioners. (Giusto famously dismissed the commissioners as his “bankers.”) Wheeler wanted to make the elected county sheriff an appointed position, a move that would have required changing state law. Wheeler left county office in 2010 without securing a change. The Oregon State Sheriffs’ Association panned his idea, and the citizen commission of volunteers tasked with reviewing the proposal balked. “I ran up against everybody,” Wheeler says. “I was completely alone.” cont. on page 17

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Aug. 31, 1962—Born, third of four boys, to Samuel and Leslie Wheeler. A sixth-generation Oregonian, Wheeler is heir to a timber family whose name graces a town in coastal Oregon.

TED WHEELER’S PATH TO POLITICS 1981—Graduates from Lincoln High School as senior class president and enrolls at Stanford University, his mother’s alma mater.

1962 1985—Opens Palo Alto Home Video, a Betamax rental store. Customers included Steve Jobs and Shirley Temple Black. 1987—Enrolls at Columbia University’s business school. Classmate Christine Petersen says she wasn’t surprised Wheeler didn’t land in consulting or investment banking.

“You had a sense he was going to do something pretty different,” she says. 1991-93—Named executive director of the Beacon Hill Civic Association. Wheeler describes the group on his résumé as “one of the nation’s oldest, largest and most influential civic associations.”

1981 1985 1987 1989 1991-93 1992-94

1992—Launches The Beacon Hill Reporter, a neighborhood newspaper that Wheeler says printed just four or five issues. April 1993—Publishes Government That Works: Innovation in State and Local Government. The 208-page tome opens with a quote from Abraham Lincoln: “The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.” 1994-98—Principal in Bay State Capital Fund in Boston. He bought and renovated University Mall in Orono, Maine.


2003—Attempts to summit Mount Everest again, this time from Tibet. He is unsuccessful.

May 16, 2006—Wheeler ousts then-Multnomah County Chairwoman Diane Linn from office. He wins 70 percent of the vote.




1992-94—Lecturer at Northeastern University, teaching course in business and government relations. April 3, 1993—Announces his bid for an at-large seat on the Boston City Council. “Biotech, software and environmental technologies are the engines that will drive the economy in the future,” Wheeler tells The Boston Globe. “Leaders must ensure that these industries locate in the neighborhoods to provide high-wage, skilledlabor jobs. To do that, we must offer companies an environment unencumbered by red tape and bureaucracy.”

“It was short-lived and largely misguided,” Wheeler says of his first bid for public office.

1997-2002—Vice president of Copper Mountain Trust, “largest independent trust company in the Northwest,” with assets over $5 billion. Copper Mountain was run by Wheeler’s brother John. May 16, 2002—Summits Mount Everest. “He got himself up and down in one piece with no drama and was a good member of the team,” says guide Eric Simonson. “By the end of the trip everyone still liked him.”

2002 March 26, 2005—Marries Katrina Maley, an Oregon State University grad active in pro-choice politics. She met Wheeler at a First Thursday get-together.

2003 2005

2006 2008

March 9, 2010—Then-Gov. Ted Kulongoski taps Wheeler to replace former Treasurer Ben Westlund, who died in office. Wheeler cuts short his time at Multnomah County to accept the position. “I didn’t really know the first thing about the job,” Wheeler says. “It was Katrina who ultimately said that there’s really only one right answer here: If the governor asks you to do something, the answer is yes. So I did it.”


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“He became very interested in policy.”

Sept. 21, 1993—Wheeler finishes second to last among of 13 candidates in the Boston City Council race.

April 2008—Wheeler registers as a Democrat, switching from unaffiliated.

Sept. 9, 2015—Wheeler announces he will challenge Mayor Charlie Hales, who a month later drops out of the race. “I’m running because we can’t call ourselves a progressive city unless we’re making real progress,” Wheeler tells supporters.

1989—Enrolls at Harvard University’s School of Government.“There was something that flipped a switch,” says childhood friend Jim Krippaehne.


1997-2002 2002-05—Forms an independent investment business called Lhotse Capital Management.

1985—Graduates from Stanford University with a degree in economics. His first day job out of college is at Bank of America in San Francisco.

2011 2012 2015

December 2006—Participates in the rescue/recovery operation of stranded climber Kelly James on Mount Hood.“He was just another team member,” says Steve Rollins of Portland Mountain Rescue. “I would not be surprised if other rescuers didn’t even know he was Multnomah County chairman.”

2011—His father, Samuel Wheeler, dies. 2012—Wheeler is elected to a full term as state treasurer with 58 percent of the vote.

Another project, the building of a new Sellwood Bridge, has a more complicated legacy. Last week, County Chairwoman Deborah Kafoury, who worked with Wheeler as a county commissioner from 2008 to 2010, endorsed County Commissioner Jules Bailey for mayor. Her move was surprising to some. But to others, the decision has roots in the new Sellwood Bridge, which opened last month. In Wheeler’s campaign literature, he lists the financing of the new Sellwood Bridge as one of his accomplishments as county chairman, saying he “funded a backlog of infrastructure needs, including the Sauvie Island Bridge, Sellwood Bridge and East County Courthouse.” A number of observers dispute that. The bridge project required joint funding from Portland City Hall. Former City Commissioner Randy Leonard says he found Wheeler to be thoughtful and dedicated, but says Wheeler’s efforts to secure city funding for the bridge were often “counterproductive.” Amid negotiations in 2009, Wheeler came to a public meeting at City Hall and scolded then-Mayor Sam Adams and Leonard for their support for using $15 million in urban renewal funds to renovate a stadium then

called PGE Park so the Portland Timbers could join Major League Soccer. Wheeler, in other words, alienated two people just when he needed them. “He was blowing up a deal that had enormous implications,” Leonard says. “It felt to me at the time it was a ‘gotcha.’ I think about it even now and I shake my head about how he was so shortsighted.” It wasn’t until 2011 that the county finally inked a deal on the Sellwood Bridge financing, after Kafoury repaired relationships. Leonard adds: “That bridge would not have been rebuilt if Deborah Kafoury was not on the county commission.” Wheeler brushes off questions about his leadership, saying he doesn’t care who gets credit for the Sellwood Bridge. “My name is not on the bridge, and I don’t give a damn,” he says. “All I care about is that when I go across it or my daughter rides her bike across it, she’s not going to get killed. That’s how you get stuff done in the public sector. People are not going to remember my name, and I’m totally OK with it.”


heeler’s six years as state treasurer are largely perceived to have been competent. He took office in 2010, when thenGov. Ted Kulongoski asked Wheeler to take the job after the death from cancer of Treasurer Ben Westlund. Wheeler’s brand of nerdy earnestness worked in the treasurer’s office. The central function of the treasury is to safeguard Oregon’s investment portfolio of $90 billion, including Public Employees Retirement System funds. In this obscure but critically important function, “he’s done an excellent job,” says Bill Parish, a local investment adviser who closely watches the treasury’s investment council. In the past 10 years, Oregon’s returns have put it at the top among peers. But the treasurer does more than act as banker, and when Wheeler needed to deal with the Legislature, he suffered. After he blasted the Legislature in the media for its sluggishness, Wheeler’s relationship with Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem) was rocky at best. CONT. on page 19

THE INHERITANCE Ted Wheeler, a sixth-generation As a young man, Ted Wheeler Oregonian, owns a $1.3 million home knew many mortifying moments in Portland’s West Hills, a beachfront when his father’s drinking left him home in Arch Cape, Ore., and an unable to recognize his son or drive $800,000 property in the San Juan the family home from dinner. Tears Islands. Tax returns he disclosed to well up in Wheeler’s eyes today as he WW show his annual income averrecalls when Sam Wheeler took Ted aged $1.5 million between 2012 and and his younger brother Tom out to 2014. celebrate Tom’s 13th birthday. Wheeler rails against “This couple next to us, the notion that he is they just kept looking defined by his privilege. over at my dad getting And he is irked by the louder and louder,” media coverage that has Ted says. “Finally the trailed him since entering lady leans over to her public office. husband and says, “People don’t really ‘That man is drunk.’ I have a clue about who just remember being I am or what makes me so embarrassed.” tick or what my values Tom Wheeler was are,” he says. “It’s never mortified. “It was not been about the money in pretty,” Tom says. “My SAM WHEELER, TED’S FATHER my family.” dad was completely Wheeler’s greatintoxicated.” grandmother’s grandfather, William Ted Wheeler had only recently Kerns, settled in Clatskanie, Ore., in gotten his learner’s permit, but he 1852, but it was the later arrivals to drove his father home. “I don’t think his family that built its great fortune. it was long after that that he started Wheeler’s great-grandfather Coleto realize that he had a very serious man Wheeler launched the family’s problem,” he says. timber business in 1912, in the coastal Sam Wheeler got sober at 54 and Oregon town that now bears his became a mentor to others strugname: Wheeler, Ore. gling with addiction. The family timber company even“He’s the only guy I know who tually merged with others to become could go to jail in the morning to bail Willamette Industries, which sold to people out, and then go to a black-tie Weyerhaeuser in 2002 for $6 billion. event in the evening,” Ted Wheeler At the time of the sale, Wheeler’s says now. father, Samuel, controlled 1.5 million Sam Wheeler also established a shares worth about $83 million, family foundation to make grants to according to U.S. Securities and charitable organizations. He named Exchange Commission filings. Ted and his brothers as directors. Despite this wealth, Wheeler’s child(Today the foundation has $16 million hood was not entirely comfortable. His in assets.) father struggled with alcoholism. Ted Wheeler cut ties with the

foundation in 2005, during his bid for the Multnomah County chairmanship, after questions arose about some of the foundation’s donations. An August 2005 article in WW noted the foundation gave $15,000 to Bill Sizemore’s anti-tax foundation and numerous additional five-figure checks to right-wing organizations. “My father is not a candidate in this race,” Wheeler blasted back in a letter to the editor. “I have no control over which charities receive grants from the foundation. Like most family foundations, ours is not a democracy—my father is the president, he runs it on a day-to-day basis, and the money is his. Not only do I oppose the groups you selectively mentioned—I have worked against what they stand for my entire life.” Sam Wheeler died in 2011 having given away his money, Ted Wheeler says. (Wheeler inherited more than $1 million from his grandfather upon his father’s death, however.) “I had a deep sense of respect that he had picked himself up and sought help,” Wheeler says. “He made something big out of it. He went through the 12-step program for the rest of his life. Instead of just internalizing it all, he realized he could be the voice in the community for other people who were struggling.” Wheeler says his sense of duty to serve the public springs from his father’s troubles—and transformation. “I am intensely motivated by the desire to go to bed at night and recognize that I made a difference in the world today,” he says. “Politics gives you the opportunities to do that.” BETH SLOVIC.

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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

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desk job: The Wheeler campaign plopped down a desk on southeast stark street and 79th Avenue on March 24 and invited voters to Wheeler’s “office hours.”

Courtney declined to be interviewed. But it’s clear this poor relationship was damaging— among other things, it stalled Wheeler’s efforts to reform the treasury office, which he says would have saved money and increased efficiency. But the proposal would also have given the office more independence. “This wasn’t just some trip down the rabbit hole,” he says. “This was backed by multiple external reviews, as well as our own internal audits.” Still, it was complicated, and many observers didn’t see the value in reducing legislative oversight. Jim Hill, a Democrat who was Oregon’s treasurer from 1993 to 2001, says he didn’t get it. “I was very puzzled by it,” he says. “When you introduce a bill that calls for less oversight on a multibillion-dollar fund, that is very strange.” Wheeler failed to get it through the Legislature not once, but three times. “Ted suffers from the deficit of never having served in the Legislature,” says former Rep. Vicki Berger (R-Salem). “The handling of that, to me, showed that that hurts.” Wheeler’s most public failure at the treasury was an unsuccessful effort in 2014 to pass a ballot measure in support of college affordability. The Oregon Opportunity Initiative would have borrowed money to create a dedicated fund for college scholarships. He won few editorial endorsements (WW supported it) and ran a breathtakingly lackluster campaign, raising just $90,000. Voters rejected the ballot measure with 57 percent of the vote. “I don’t consider it a failure in that it opened up a conversation in Oregon about the lack of support for student financial aid and the increasing indebtedness that our students were facing,” he says. “It was a big idea, and sometimes it takes more than one shot to get a big idea through.” Wheeler says a decade of public service has taught him to seek out diverse opinions. He says he understands he’ll need to use persuasion as Portland mayor.

“It’s a leadership position,” he says. “It’s not where you come and say, ‘Make it so.’ It’s about building consensus for three votes, and that means you have to be collaborative, you have to communicate, and there can’t be surprises.” But moments on the campaign trail suggest the earnest policy wonk—whose bumper stickers declare he’ll be Portland’s “nerdy mayor”— still hasn’t fully absorbed the lessons of the past 10 years. On March 18, Wheeler walked into the office of the Portland Development Commission to meet with 40 or so PDC employees during their lunch break. The employees, members of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Local 3769, had invited Wheeler to talk about his vision as mayor—a critical question as the PDC faces its own uncertain future. Last month, its executive director, Patrick Quinton, announced he would leave in May. Meanwhile, the agency faces budget cuts as urban renewal funding dries up. Over brownbag lunches, Wheeler offered little comfort, according to two people who were present at the meeting. Instead, he criticized PDC for failing to secure a Trader Joe’s outlet on city-owned property in Northeast Portland in 2014, then bungled a question about PDC’s budget, giving some in the audience the impression he would pull funding if he didn’t get to appoint the next executive director. “It didn’t go well,” Wheeler acknowledges, adding he never meant to give the impression funding was tied to the appointment process. “My intention was to inspire them,” Wheeler says. “My comments struck some as being dismissive of the good work they’re already doing.” But Wheeler has at least learned the Portland way of saying sorry. The following Monday, Wheeler went back, this time with Voodoo doughnuts and an apology. He plans to return a third time, promising to talk less and listen more. “What I’ve asked them to do,” he says, “is give me their best shot at what they’d like to see improved and how I could be helpful as the next mayor.”

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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


“Hey man, used to make out with dudes for free drinks, too.” page 41


SUPPLY AND DEMAND: Saffron Colonial, the controversial colonial-themed North Portland bakery, has lost a supplier. Ristretto Roasters says it will no longer do business with the eatery, which advertises itself as a “British Colonial Cuisine” restaurant. Saffron Colonial has faced a backlash from people concerned about a British imperialism-themed restaurant with a drink called “Plantation Press” opening in a historically black and quickly gentrifying neighborhood. Ristretto supplied Saffron Colonial with coffee and pastries. The relationship between the roaster and the restaurant goes way back: Saffron Colonial owner Sally Krantz had imported Ristretto coffee to the Saffron cafes she owned in Hong Kong. But Ristretto has faced backlash since Saffron added “Colonial” to its brand. “Since they released their colonial branding, we’ve been in the process of dealing with the repercussions of it,” says Ryan Cross of Ristretto. “We are officially no longer doing business with Saffron Colonial.” Krantz has not yet changed the name of her restaurant, telling the Daily Beast that she’s one of the “most liberal people you can meet,” and, “If I was racist, I wouldn’t live in the neighborhood.”


RAGTIME FOREVER: Ray’s Ragtime vintage shop will live on in the Hollywood District. In February, Ray Tillotson’s beloved 30-year-old downtown vintage store announced it was facing eviction for unpaid rent after a 50 percent rent hike. “I probably should have closed when he raised the rent,” Tillotson says, “but I couldn’t do it.” Ragtime had long been a stopover for bands playing at the Crystal Ballroom, and was popular in the local music scene. The old store’s final day was set for Tuesday, March 29. The new store will be catty-corner from the Hollywood Theatre. BOOKING: On March 24, Elizabeth Woody was named Oregon’s poet laureate by Gov. Kate Brown. Woody’s two-year term begins April 27, and a ceremony is still being planned to honor her and current laureate Peter Sears, who assumed the post in 2014. During their term, laureates act as ambassadors for poetry in the state. Woody will conduct between six and 20 public readings across Oregon. >> On March 23, Portland-born novelist Mitchell Jackson was named one of 10 recipients of the prestigious Whiting Award for literature—which carries a cash prize of $50,000—for his novel The Residue Years, set in Portland during the 1990s crack epidemic. WW praised the novel, calling it “a reminder that Portland’s development has fixed up neighborhoods without bettering the people who once called them home.”

@WillametteWeek 22

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JIM HART R.I.P.: Jim Hart, well-loved maker of some of the best damn Texas brisket and ribs in Portland, at the Road Runner food cart at Carts on Foster, died March 5. He was 71. Carts on Foster will hold a public celebration of Hart’s life and barbecue at the pod April 2, from 2 to 4 pm. Hart’s wife, Pauline, and daughter, Tammy, will continue to operate the cart in his memory. “Just as Jimmy would want us to,” wrote his HART daughter on the cart’s Facebook page, “his wife and daughter will continue to carry on his dream.”




Field Music

[BLUE-EYED PROG] From the beginning, the duo of brothers David and Peter Brewis had pieces of pop, soul and prog flowing through its erudite brand of art rock. With this year’s Commontime, the Brewises may have finally arrived at their ideal, playing funky, blue-eyed English soul with arty edges. It’s one of the left-field joys of 2016 so far. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663, 9 pm. $12. 21+.

THURSDAY MARCH 31 Kidd Pivot: Betroffenheit





Salvatore “Mooney Sam” Giancana, boss of the Chicago Outfit and a “very good friend.”


Colonel Tom Parker, a con man who was not a real colonel.

“My Way”


“Suspicious Minds”


Portland Elvis, who for decades has sung Elvis in Old Town with a threestring and a record player.

Tony Starlight, of Tony Starlight’s, a dubious vision of Rat Pack excess.

“Frank Sinatra Has a Cold,” in Vanity Fair—in which journalist Gay Talese is denied an interview and decides instead to stalk Ol’ Blue Eyes relentlessly and lyrically. Helped create the New Journalism that birthed Hunter S. Thompson.


SATURDAY APRIL 2 Red Lips and Tulips

Elvis Presley coffin photo on the cover of The National Enquirer, by Elvis’ cousin Bobby Mann, who is bribed by the tabloid to sneak in a camera and sell out his own dead blood for money. Its enduring influence can be seen in TMZ, the Hulk Hogan sex tape, and Perez Hilton.

Loved Jack Daniels so much he was buried with a bottle of it.


Fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Johnny Fontaine, the struggling singer in The Godfather who is denied a movie part by Hollywood producer Jack Woltz. Woltz later wakes up with the head of his favorite horse in his bed.


The Drive-By Truckers’ “Carl Perkins’ Cadillac.”

[PTSD DANCE] Betroffenheit is German for “what the fuck?” More accurately, “bewilderment.” From Canada’s top contemporary dance company, it’s a dance/ theater hybrid with Chicagostyle cabaret numbers and a storyline about an addict suffering from PTSD. His substance of choice comes to life as tired-out clowns in a sexy and unsettling spectacle. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 8 pm. $25-$34.

Mia Farrow, age 21 at marriage, met Sinatra when she was just 19. “God help me,” he remarked to Dean Martin after meeting her, “but I’m tired of feeling sad, old and washed up.” The marriage lasts a mere two years.


Priscilla Ann Wagner, age 21 at marriage, but 14 when she met the King at a party at Elvis’ home in Germany, where—we’ve heard—that’s normal. The marriage endures forever.

Possible son Ronan Farrow.


Son-in-law Michael Jackson.

Judy Garland, Angie Dickinson, Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe.


Natalie Wood, Cybill Shepherd, Nancy Sinatra.

The Oregon Symphony and vocalist Curtis Stigers perform hits from “The Sinatra Century” at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, April 2-3. $23-$105.


[WINE] St. Josef’s has been around for over 30 years— and its tulip festival has been around for seemingly just as long, with Hungarian goulash and Canby pinot amid the flower fields. $5 gets you a glass, a wine tasting and a walk in the tulips. St. Josef’s Winery, 28836 S Barlow Road, Canby, 651-3190, Noon-5 pm, April 2-3. $5.


[THEATER] A female-helmed Othello set in the modern American prison system and directed by Drammy-winning bodypainter Caitlin FisherDraeger is the second show from Sellwood’s newly renovated theater. The stunning Ithica Tell plays the Moorish general, backed by Post5 leading lady Jessica Tidd in a tense tragedy about race and adultery. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., post5theatre. org. 7:30 pm. $20.

SUNDAY APRIL 3 Freddie Gibbs

[GANGSTER RAP] With almost a decade of mixtapes under his belt, Freddie Gibbs stays in his own lane as rap’s unsung hero, maintaining a social consciousness alongside coke-rap braggadocio. His latest, Shadow of a Doubt, trades throwback beats for trap, as he makes a darkly introspective build toward the mainstream. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm. $18 advance, $23 day of show. 21+.

Red Elvises, the weirdo Russian-American rock-fusion band, perform at Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630,, on Thursday, March 31. 9 pm. $13. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

OCTOPI SLABTOWN: The Octopus salad at Gastro Mania.


= WW Pick.

SATURDAY, APRIL 2 Hophouse Ciderfest

The 15th Avenue Hophouse will hold a yard party for cider in its parking lot, featuring a whole mess of cideries, including Reverend Nat’s, Cider Riot!, Incline, Neigel Vintner Cider, Wandering Aengus, Apple Outlaw, Finnriver, and Wildcraft. 15th Avenue Hophouse, 1517 NE Brazee St., 2-7 pm, April 2-3. $30-$40.

Belgian Beer Day

For the last time before moving to a former yogurt shop on Northwest 23rd‚ the Abbey Bar will celebrate Belgian Beer Day with a live feed from Antwerp and other Belgian-style beer bars, with special beer flights and beer shwag on hand. The Abbey Bar, 716 NW 21st Ave., Noon-midnight.

TUESDAY, APRIL 5 Cuisinières Supper Club

Southeast Wine Collective is bringing back its supper club with three courses of fine French-influenced fare from the eponymous “lady chefs” Althea Grey Potter and Kate Norris, paired with spring wines from Division, Jasper Cisco and Gersing Cellars. Southeast Wine Collective, 2425 SE 35th Place, 6 pm. $50. Reservations at 208-2061.

1. Chicken and Guns

1207 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-7236,

Latin-style chicken with sauce like spicy crack cocaine. $.


2. Matt’s BBQ

4709 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 516-314-4739.

Best Texas-style ribs in Portland. $.

3. Straits Kitchen

1112 SE Tacoma St., 971-325-7323,

Fried chicken and curry, BabaNyonya style. $.

4. Mole Prehispanic Cuisine

5885 NW St. Helens Road, 875-9134.

Taste the rainbow of mole. $.

5. La Camel

521 SW 9th Ave., 778-0604,

Killer Moroccan tagine, streetside. $.

$7—get the sandwich, not the plate—rolled with lettuce-tomato-onion veg into fresh pita bread, doused with bright balsamic on the fish and tzatziki spiked with jalapeño aioli on the meat. But despite the lamb gyro being my favorite of its kind in Portland—with meat chopped into crisp-on-the-outside, t e n d e r-w i t h i n h e r b a l c h u n k s — I o n l y sometimes have cause to order it. For only $8.50, Nenchev makes a salad heaping with thick-armed octopus whose preparation betrays long years of mastery in cooking a cephalopod whose texture is tetchy for any chef. Each tendril is massaged into softness, with no hint of rubber, though its exterior is crusted to carbon with spice char. It is a lunchtime decadence unusual enough to be extraordinary. But the menu is full of distractions. There is, for example, the generous plate of soft, stewed brisket, enriched with porcini sauce ($10.50) spilling over the tender meat and onto a slab of polenta beneath. Or the porchetta sandwich, whose title ingredient almost always—though not always—successfully toes the delicate tightrope between fat, char and savory marble that makes it both a dangerous and rewarding meat cut. The first dish that caught our attention when Gastro Mania was a food cart was dwellers and old-school the foie gras burger, a recNob Hillers left behind by ipe Nenchev learned from the 2000s Portland food his Italian grandmother, boom. McMenamins made made with pan-seared liva bottle shop. Casa del ers of Canada geese. It Matador threw up some is a thing of ridiculous barbecue. luxury, but at $12 it is Order this: Gyros ($7), octopus salad ($8.50), brisket ($10.50), foie gras burger ($12). But Gastro is a barestill somehow only the bones, working-class price of a Dork burger Mediterranean eatery at Dick’s. It’s also on staffed by a classically trained European the menu only sometimes, and it’s sold out chef making humble dishes, and he’s doing more often than not. it all with money he earned the hard way. A caveat is, perhaps, in order. I’m a It’s the dream of Portland, circa 2006. And if regular enough supporter of the place that you’re in the neighborhood, it’s the very best I might end up getting slightly larger porplace to eat lunch. I should know: I work in tions than somebody else would right off the the neighborhood. street. But as far as I can tell, almost everyAs the old Greek dominion over Portland one who eats here is a regular. I am probably bars and restaurants fades, Nenchev, once a betraying them by making the place’s finer fine-dining chef on the Continent, is making qualities so public. what are almost certainly the finest gyros in town. Lamb, salmon, chicken or albacore EAT: Gastro Mania, 1986 NW Pettygrove St., 689-3794, 11 am-6 pm tuna steak are cooked to order for a mere Monday-Friday, 11 am-4 pm Saturday.

Gastro Mania is a lone herb-Parmesan swordfish swimming against the roaring current of Slabtown. Last fall, after his food cart was shut down by developers, Bulgarian-born chef Alex Nenchev moved his Mediterranean kitchen into a tiny, spartan corner eatery and deli about the size of a cigar store. It’s become a place unlike any other new spot in the neighborhood. From Boke to Boxer to Grassa, every minichain concept in Portland has been moving into the blocks-wide construction zone to soak up incoming hordes of luxury apartment

Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10


500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 24

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Celebrating Our 20th Year!

Now Serving Saturday and Sunday Brunch 10-2 accepting reservations for Mother’s Day brunch

Monday thru Friday Lunch 11-2 Life is Good


8051 SE 13th Ave at Spokane in Sellwood 503-233-4613


EGGS AND TOASTED: The croissant-doughnut sammy.


The guy who played Barney the purple dinosaur is alive and well. So is the dude from Blue’s Clues—and he hasn’t been to rehab. They’re doing just fine, despite the urban legends. Minds are blown at the table inside the cramped Hogan’s Goat Pizza off Northeast Sandy Boulevard. “When you think about it, we wanted to believe that,” says a 20-something California transplant wearing a Nike jogging suit because he didn’t get up in time to buy matching pajamas with his roommates. “We wanted our childhood to die, so that we weren’t just abandoning it.” This is the moment when the first Wake and Bake brunch at HunnyMilk officially feels like a success. The stoney pop-up within a pop-up is a longtime dream of chef Brandon Weeks, a former pastry chef at the Painted Lady and Renata, and his girlfriend, Alexandra Franzen. Most weekends, the couple does a delightfully twee brunch—$20 gets you a drink, savory course and sweet course chosen from eight to 10 options. The rotating menu includes miso-inflected quiche, duck egg and pork hash, and a carrot cake waffle topped with cream cheese mousse. Every table has homemade coloring sheets and crayons. Drinks include a guava mimosa and a cup of caramel hot cocoa topped with a thick layer of marshmallow that drinks like a sundae. Last weekend, HunnyMilk closed for its first Wake and Bake brunch, which featured the same menu I had sampled sober the week before, but turned into a cannabis-aided experience, complete with a projector showing episodes of The Care Bears and DuckTales. Tickets were $42, and attendees got a generous goodie bag that included two pre-rolls and a selection of three 1-gram samples from local growers—about $50 in product. You aren’t allowed to even vape in a space that has a liquor license—bored and overpaid officials continue their senseless jihad against cannabis—so

HunnyMilk arranged to have the yellow High Five tour bus out front as a pre-meal smokers’ lounge. I took a hard toke off the pre-roll of Platinum Girl Scout Cookies from Ten Four Farms and half-hits off the other joints passed around. Then I went inside. Turns out, brunch is better when you’re high. Everything about HunnyMilk demonstrates Weeks and Franzen’s careful attention to detail— this is a place where the biscuit plate comes with a little note bearing a Gandhi quote about biscuits. But that mindfulness became especially conspicuous with a light buzz. Take those cartoons. The reel wasn’t just some random episodes transferred from VHS, but a carefully curated selection that even included a commercial for a Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos doll starring Franzen’s brother. I happened to be standing near her when it rolled. “That paid for his college,” she said quietly. The revelations went beyond the surprising crudeness of ’80s cartoons. I also better appreciated the way the baby Dutch babies in their square castiron pans grew chilly under a scoop of creme brulee ice cream. And the way the yellow yolk of a poached egg oozed so slowly into the silky smooth grits and oily chimichurri as I gnawed through the meaty dryrubbed, sous-vide and fried rib plated with it. And I took some time to ponder the “open face croissantdonut sammy,” which was neither a croissant nor a doughnut nor a sandwich, but rather rich and buttery dough topped with a sunny egg and gooey cheddar. The menu changes every few weeks, so you might not find the same options. Don’t worry too much: Everything we had on both visits was good. But it was better high. Sign up for the Wake and Bake mailing list, and you’ll get the details on the next event, scheduled for April 20. If tickets are gone—the first batch sold out in 15 minutes, and we can’t even blame scalpers this time—swing by the dispensary, then cue up some classic DuckTales. The actor who voiced Scrooge McDuck, scarcely understandable to adult ears through his burry brogue? Alan Young, who’s still alive at age 96.




GO: HunnyMilk, 5222 NE Sacramento St., 320-7805, 9 am-2 pm Saturday-Sunday. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.


Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

Loudon Wainwright III, Caroline Cotter

[FOLK-AND-RUN] As a patrician prankster embodying a certain sort of ur-folkie archetype—the Village Vanguard idiot whose goofball charms hawked tales signifying nothing—Loudon Wainwright III would’ve probably been remembered only by era completists had not his power couplings with Kate McGarrigle and Suzzy Roche produced rather more talented offspring Rufus, Martha, and Lucy Wainwright Roche. Familial musings continue to shape albums like 2014’s Haven’t Got the Blues (Yet) while the recent one-man show Surviving Twin expanded the scope to his own Life columnist father. Nevertheless, if stints soundtracking and acting in films like Knocked Up feel the most prominent of his late-life career (and most befitting that glib self-satisfaction), Judd Apatow truly seems his spiritual heir. JAY HORTON. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $26 advance, $30 day of show, $40 reserved seating. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Field Music

[PROG SOUL] England’s Field Music has been going through a gradual state of smoothing out over 11 years and six albums. From the beginning, the duo of brothers David and Peter Brewis had pieces of pop, soul and prog flowing through its erudite brand of art rock, working to bring out those influences—to make them brighter and more cohesive—with each subsequent record. With this year’s Commontime, the Brewises may have finally arrived at their ideal, playing funky, blue-eyed English soul with glistening harmo-

1080p founder Richard MacFarlane

Mystique Is the Message

CONT. on page 29



THE FIVE DOPEST THINGS ABOUT GERMANY, BY PAPI FIMBRES The legal drinking age for beer and wine is 16. You can drink in public, and you can drink in the car—except if you’re driving, of course. 2 There’s no “last call.” So if you’re done with a killer show and you still wanna rage, you can always find awesomely weird late-night punk dive bars that serve until you’ve had enough. Also, the bartenders drink all the time while they’re working, too. 3 Each town pretty much has its own brewery inside some old 12th-century brick-and-mortar building, and they’re usually fucking great and cheap. 4 As scary as this may seem, you can drive as fast as you want or can on the Autobahn. The Minden dudes were just a tad bit scared at this, but they got used to it once we realized that we had long-ass drives all across Germany. 5 Because that part of Europe is so old, there are so many gorgeous buildings and incredible architecture all around. Some cats take it for granted because they’ve been there forever and don’t find the time to just stop and look up. It’s incredible to see these historical monuments still standing after all these centuries.

Papi Fimbres is the drummer for Máscaras, Sun Angle, Orquestra Pacifico Tropical and a million other bands, including the duo Dreckig with Shana Lindbeck. He just returned to Portland after a six-month sabbatical in Germany. SEE IT: Dreckig plays Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., with Copy and Amani, on Sunday, April 3. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+.





If you want to understand Canadian cassette label 1080p, start with Bobby Draino. Solo endeavors by the former drummer of postgrunge band Weed are a hazy gaze into Vancouver, B.C.’s esteemed house and techno scenes, whose common threads are 6 am underground parties, clouded synth pads and a holy devotion to kush. His debut album, a split with D. Tiffany as Xophie Xweetland called Chrome Split, crystallized this unique moment for Cascadian dance music via an abstract, acidtinged sound all their own. And the cover, depicting a bosomed bong lounging on a plastic beach, is simply one of the best album covers of all time. That tape stood out in the dance music underground by defying categorization, just like the label that released it. 1080p was founded in 2013 by Richard MacFarlane, an eccentric New Zealander who moved to Vancouver on a whim. In three years, the label has rapidly grown from humble beginnings, with a cheeky aesthetic, an emphasis on digital art and a focus on cassettes. The warm, analog sound of tape is a unique medium for uptempo, club-friendly tracks. To the underground dance music community, 1080p opened up a new channel for expression. “In the context of getting music out there, tapes are a good way to negate the conventions of the music industry,” MacFarlane says. “The mainstream industry is probably all digital [sales], because physical copies have failed them. 1080p, as a label, refers to how quickly things get outmoded, or the planned obsolescence of those objects or modes of production.” If a personal brand signifies cultural currency, MacFarlane is already a rich man. He’s a self-effacing Instagram star, traveling the world in Tevas with socks, expounding a sincere love of Patagonia fleece and a curatorial ear for provocative, uplifting music. MacFarlane’s vision sprang from his work with the Roze Quartz blog and defunct Pitchfork spinoff, the lo-fi, experimental pop-focused Altered Zones. His experience as a music journalist provided a PR network to help MacFarlane launch 1080p. Early highlights of the label included the boho cloud rap of B.C.’s Young

Braised and the liminal techno and ephemeral house of Portland’s own Karmelloz and Auscultation. Recent releases count local R&B pranksters Magic Fades, Gobby of DFA Records, and Grammy-nominated CFCF as key movers of the 1080p brand. Today, MacFarlane maintains a schedule of about two releases per month. Having recently added vinyl to the catalog, the release schedule is backlogged through 2016, with shipping bills regularly reaching $500 Canadian. MacFarlane says he tries to attach a “myth or image” to every physical release. It’s a concept that’s proven attractive to independent creatives from across North America and Europe, who are drawn into MacFarlane’s overarching vision for what a DIY label means in this age of accelerated content. With newfound hype, globe-trotting live acts, and unlimited potential, the 1080p brand uniquely inspires producers while consuming the attention spans of aesthete trend-seekers in electronic music. The label particularly excels at breaking female artists to a wider audience. D. Tiffany was the first of many esteemed women to make a mark through the label, which now houses Via App, Beta Librae, and Umfang of the all-female DJ collectives Technofeminism and Discwoman. Emma Olson of Umfang says she only heard of the label by word of mouth and “didn’t know that Richard knew me” until he reached out through Facebook to release her debut album. “The way I approach releases is going through friends,” MacFarlane says. “Instead of having people self-release, this label has the purpose to help out, as an actually self-sufficient model. It gives people agency.” SEE IT: Love in This Club’s 1080p Showcase, with Bobby Draino and Auscultation, is at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Friday, April 1. 9 pm. $5 advance, $7 after 11 pm day of show. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


Acid Dad, Comm

[FLEDGLING PUNK] The members of Brooklyn’s Acid Dad haven’t exactly gone places yet, but they will be going places. The punk quartet is currently in the midst of its first tour, and as such, the guys have been steamrolling through a round of post-SXSW gigs in support of their excellent debut EP, Let’s Plan a Robbery. The album doesn’t break new ground, but it blends ’60s-style vocals and youthful rebellion with such precision, it’s easy to forget that bands like the Hives revitalized this same sound nearly 20 years ago. Frontman Vaughn Hunt also has a penchant for hazy melodies, which helps envelop the chugging guitars and angst in a veil of welcome psychedelia. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9:30 pm. $12. 21+.

J Dilla Tribute featuring Slum Village, Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, and Phat Kat

[HIP-HOP PROPHET] When historians look back on the musical changes that led Kendrick Lamar to hip-hop dominance, they will call this decade the “Post-Dilla Era.” The legendary Detroit-born beatsmith died of a rare disease in 2006, and his soul-driven influence can be felt in the sonic ideology of everyone from Kamasi Washington to J. Cole. Celebrating him tonight are some of his earliest collaborators, including Slum Village, the group he cofounded while still in high school. The music will range from classic gangster cuts to jazzed-up hip-hop fusion, with seriously heavy verses to fill in the gaps. PARKER HALL. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 2484700. 8 pm. $20 general admission, $35 VIP. 21+.

SWMRS, the Frights, One Day Forecast

[POP-PUNK] When SWMRS was known as Emily’s Army, the young Oakland quartet crafted passable approximations of vintage Green Day with the help of drummer Joey Armstrong’s dad Billie Joe, who produced the band’s first two albums. The group’s work as SWMRS distances itself from Armstrong’s musical inheritance with a ranging sound that spans the strange spectrum between Vampire Weekend’s skittish pop and the Strokes’ laconic swagger. There are a few irresistible moments of pop pleasure on the recently released Drive North, but those bright spots are too often muddled by forced quirks and ill-conceived production fillips that betray an awkward transition into band adulthood. CHRIS STAMM. The Analog, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 6 pm. $12. All ages.


[AUSSIE OSBOURNE] Enjoying a decade-plus career and over a million albums sold, Wolfmother’s psychedelic, Jodorowskian reimagining of Black Sabbath has been through an understandably long and rumbly road. After the departure and re-entry of nearly every member in the band’s lineup, the Australian trio re-emerged with Victorious earlier this year. It’s still a recognizable composite of the soprano shouting-voice popular in mid-’00s rock, but there’s enough inventive riffage to keep an army of horn-raising fists raised high. CRIS LANKENAU. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. Sold out. All ages.

CONT. on page 31




nies, arty edges and arrangements that are complicated without being confounding. Imagine ’80s Peter Gabriel (or even Hall and Oates, an admitted inspiration on the record) filtered through a post-punk lens. It’s one of the left-field joys of 2016 so far. MATTHEW SINGER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.


“It’s a transitional album,” says singer Stevie Appleby. “Lyrically, it’s all about change – the end of some eras, new beginnings, learning from the past and looking to the future. Ephemera means things that are important to you, but only for a short time. That could apply to music or relationships or even a particular day. ”


Rules Of Motion is comprised of four surprisingly well washed teenagers (18,19) who play groove infused jazz with some funk and rock seasoning. Their influences include Steely Dan, Snarky Puppy, Herbie Hancock and Zeppelin. They play their own original music as well as a few carefully chosen covers.


Songhoy Blues MONDAY, APRIL 4 The jihadists’ rules were clear: No smoking. No drinking alcohol. No dancing. No singing. No music, period. Singer Aliou Touré, bassist Oumar Touré and guitarist Garba Touré knew that violating the interpretation of shari’a law imposed by the brutal new rulers of northern Mali could mean public whippings, amputation of their hands—or worse. They’d seen it happening all around them since the radical Islamist movement Ansar Dine arrived in 2012. So the young trio joined the tide of refugees fleeing to relative safety in Bamako, the capital city. They acquired a drummer, conservatory student Nat Dembele, and a name, Songhoy Blues—derived from the 14th-century Songhai empire that once ruled the Sahara, and the music that originated in Mali centuries ago. “We talk about peace and war, the situation of Mali and politics there,” says Aliou. (Despite sharing a surname, the three Tourés are not related.) “So many people don’t have a microphone. We are lucky to have a microphone. The music is our way to communicate.” Songhoy Blues fought homesickness by playing its northern music and quickly found success in Bamako’s lively club scene, even winning fans from rival ethnic groups like the Tuareg. In 2013, the band members learned that Blur frontman Damon Albarn’s Africa Express project was recording in Bamako, auditioned, and so impressed Albarn that they not only scored a song on the compilation album but opened for Africa Express in London the following year. The quartet released its debut album last year, and recently became the first African band the august Atlantic Records label has signed in decades. Growing up in Mali’s musical melting pot of many North and West African cultural seasonings, the band members, still in their 20s, also had access to global influences their revered Malian predecessors—Salif Keita, Toumani Diabaté, Ali Farka Touré— lacked. While sizzling with the bubbling, trance-inducing electric guitar lines of famous Malian bands like Tinariwen, Songhoy Blues’ Music in Exile, co-produced by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Nick Zinner, varies the traditional desert-blues slow grind with a potpourri of song forms and rhythms, including funk and reggae. “We are lucky to discover all the music around the world,” Aliou says. “With the Internet, now you can hear everything from the U.S. and Europe, and that has given us new ideas to [mix] Malian music with different kinds of music from around the world. Twenty years ago, when Ali Farka made music, they didn’t have any Internet—they didn’t have any idea about the rest of the world.” As likely to sport sequins, jeans and cowboy hats in concert as traditional keffiyehs, the members of Songhoy Blues have cited influences from B.B. King and John Lee Hooker to Jimi Hendrix and contemporary hip-hop, and are accumulating more with every touring mile. “Travel is the best school,” Aliou says. “Hearing different kinds of musicians in different countries gives us new ideas for our music.” But while Songhoy Blues dabbles in the sounds and style of Western pop, with Mali still in turmoil, its lyrics are not likely to address pop music’s usual subject matter. “We can’t talk about love yet because we are missing love in our country,” Aliou says. “We hope to speak about it someday.” BRETT CAMPBELL.

The sounds of modern exile.

SEE IT: Songhoy Blues plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Little Star, on Monday, April 4. 9 pm. $13 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

On the new album, Blues & Ballads (A Folksinger’s Songbook) Vol. I & II, Luther Dickinson finds his way forward by retracing his steps. This ambitious double album collects twenty-one tunes from throughout his life and career. Blues & Ballads has a retrospective flavor, but it’s not a greatest hits. Rather, it’s a means of translating these songs to a new moment, of letting them breathe and take new shapes.


w/ Mick Overman, Jaime Leopold & Jack McMahon MONDAY, APRIL 4TH AT 7PM

Songwriter’s circle is a monthly celebration of the art and craft of songwriting. Mick Overman is a West Coast Legend and “Iron Man of The Road”. Jaime Leopold was the original bass player in Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks turned a songwriter and band leader. Jack McMahon has been a performing singer-songwriter for all of his adult life.


Castletown - 4/10 • Matty Charles & Katie Rose - 4/12 • Pete Yorn - 4/13 Record Store Day w/ Alejandro Escovedeo - 4/16 • Liz Vice & California Honeydrops - 4/17

m e t te The Willa

ore Week St

TREAT YOURSELF WITH A DUBDUBDEAL! We’ve got plenty of affordable offers to start the year off right. Find certificate discounts to your favorite Portland restaurants. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



The Slow Poisoner plays the Lovecraft on Thursday, March 31.

THURSDAY, MARCH 31 Out From the Shadows II Festival

[DARKWAVE/POST-PUNK] Portland is rancid with festivals celebrating punk, metal, pop, Irish jigs, blues, beer, etc. What the curators of Out From the Shadows found missing is a weekend dedicated to darkwave and post-punk. (Don’t call it goth or death rock—the ’80s are over.) Thursday is a free kickoff-cum-taste test, while Friday and Saturday bring acts from as far as London and Germany, with performances from local heroes Arctic Flowers, the Prids, Soft Kill, and Vice Device. This almost makes up for Killing Joke’s recent cancelation. NATHAN CARSON. Panic Room, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 8 pm. Thursday night is free. $12 per night Friday-Saturday, $20 two-day pass. All ages.

Decibel Magazine Tour: Abbath, High on Fire, Tribulation

[METAL] Once upon a time, America supported metal magazines. In recent years, the economy and the Internet have strangled the print industry to the point that only one high-octane rag still stands amid the smoke and rubble. Decibel puts underground metal acts on the cover, includes a flexi-disc with each issue (if you’re a subscriber, anyway) and puts on a festivalworthy tour de force each year. This time around, it’s unearthed Abbath, fronted by the sputtering Popeye-style vocalist of Norwegian black-metal gods Immortal. High on Fire is the most enduring band on the 2016 lineup, but not to miss is Sweden’s breakout melodic death-metal pretty boys Tribulation, whose The Children of the Night was some of the best metal of 2015. Only trick is, you’re going to have to be there ass-early if you want to catch them. NATHAN CARSON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 6:45 pm. $30. All ages.

Sunflower Bean, Weaves

[DREAM ROCK] Sunflower Bean has the rare ability to switch between two totally different genres on the same album and still sound cohesive. On one single, “Easier Said,” the band establishes itself with dream-pop gauziness, as singer-bassist Julia Cumming’s soprano whispers and wavers. But elsewhere on Human Ceremony, the young New York trio’s debut full-length, the band indulges in

uptempo proto-punk while leaning on the same effects pedals. HILARY SAUNDERS. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 6 pm. $12. All ages.

The Slow Poisoner

[OUTSIDER] Andrew Goldfarb has a conundrum. Is he an author of hot rod-inflected bizarro literature that recalls Dr. Seuss and Edward Gorey? Or is he a black-velvet rockabilly wunderkind channeling Hasil Adkins and the Cramps? If you’ve ever seen those old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ads, you know the answer: There’s no wrong way to appreciate the Slow Poisoner. Goldfarb has a new commercial, too, a music video called “Mysteries of the World” that is both a trailer for his Northwest mini-tour and showcase of his literary wit. It’s the perfect wedding of his goofy, macabre aesthetic with his spooky tunes. This is free, people. Go have some fun now, y’hear? NATHAN CARSON. The Lovecraft Bar, 421 SE Grand Ave, 719-7384. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

FRIDAY, APRIL 1 Dark Star Orchestra

[IMPERSONATING THE DEAD] With a following so vast it spawned a subculture and an upcoming tribute from the National, the Grateful Dead are as relevant as ever, so an impassioned and faithfully precise resurrection of a specific show from their extensive backlog is a rare opportunity to experience the ghosts of the forefathers of wayward jamming. Surviving members have even joined the Orchestral stage before, so with enough chemical stimuli, it might be possible to all but relive an especially memorable evening long since demised. CRIS LANKENAU. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 288-3895. 8 pm. Through April 2. $26.50. All ages.

Prince Rama, Dinner

[FEVER-DREAM POP] Like African Head Charge fronted by the Bangles, or Hall & Oates begging for Brian Eno’s help, or Kate Bush Groundhog Day-ing her way through the mid-’80s and getting angrier with each iteration, Prince Rama is a hard band to add up. It’s best to talk about the Brooklyn group in retro time periods, in neon colors and especially in infectious energy. Touring behind Xtreme Now, their eighth album in eight

CONT. on page 33 Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

MUSIC years, sisters Taraka and Nimai Larson have coined a new dance genre—“extreme sports”—which goes a long way toward describing the kind of manic, bombastic live show to expect. Or, y’know, not. DOM SINACOLA. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Gazebos, Boyfriends, the Bedrooms

[SNARK ROCK] Seattle’s Gazebos writes songs with titles like “Just Get High” and “I Don’t Wanna Be Here.” The band’s debut album, released in February, is called Die Alone. Clearly, snarky, sassy commentary on modern life is part of their aesthetic. But Gazebos uses a thumping, ’60s garage-rock template as a sturdy base atop which singer Shannon Perry alternately coos, screams and speak-sings, the combination of which seems to capture #thestruggle of a generation. HILARY SAUNDERS. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Ra Ra Riot, And the Kids, PWR BTTM

[CLASS OF ’07] If you received a mix CD between the years 2007 and 2009, Ra Ra Riot was probably on it. You may not remember them as they blended into the golden age of indie-pop swell alongside Matt and Kim, MGMT, Vampire Weekend and Passion Pit. The five members of Ra Ra Riot met while attending the University of Syracuse and have since released four albums of headbobbing, ultra-singable (if difficult to distinguish) indie-pop grooves. The group’s latest, Need Your Light, upped the pace and synths, making it even more dorm-room danceable. SOPHIA JUNE. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 288-3895. 9 pm. $18. All ages.

Lissie, Skrizzly Adams

[LEAVING LOS ANGELES] While there’s certainly some precedent for the jaded artist spurning her record company, fleeing L.A. and reclaiming her muse amid rural seclusion, Lissie seems to have skipped a few steps along the way. Though her first two collections of ’70s-leaning soft rock met with some success—especially across the pond, where a Twinings tea advert nicked her “Go Your Own Way” cover—the former Elisabeth Maurus wasn’t exactly poised for stardom. Nobody has ever confused the Hotel Cafe fast-tracked folkdiva program with debauched club life. And though the Illinois native sought refuge on a northern Iowa farm, her newly released third album (and debut for her Lionboy label), My Wild West, arrives as an enervated plod through country-dappled balladry by the numbers. While a few anthemic high points suggest pop muscles untensed, the piano-driven cautionary treacle of “Hollywood” doth protest too much and far too limply. JAY HORTON. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 248-4700. 9:30 pm. $18. 21+.

The Joy Formidable, Everything Everything

[EPIC POP ROCK] Much of the Joy Formidable’s output glides along the slick and shiny path between Paramore and Coldplay, which is not necessarily a bad thing—a mall without mall music would be a bleak place indeed. The Welsh band’s latest single, “The Last Thing on My Mind,” is another big blast of commerce-friendly radio rock, which, again, is fine. But this band is capable of so much more. Take 2013’s “Cholla,” one of the best things to happen to popular rock music since Billy Corgan raged in a cage. If that version of the Joy Formidable showed up more often, we’d have ourselves some collective transcendence. But for now, let’s buy some pants. CHRIS STAMM Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 9 pm. $18-$59.50. All ages.

Potions, 555, Antecessor, Magisterial

[MAGIC TOUCH] Chicago’s DIY dance outfit Potions trades in an off-

DATES HERE the-cuff style of breezy electronic music, with woozy synths floating in and around convoluted 707 drum patterns. The artist’s latest funky brew, Pushing the Cuboid, released on the lysergic L.A. label 100% Silk, builds off Potion’s catalog of VHS retro-wave in deconstructing dance tropes. Tonight’s MIDI party starts with Italo house band Magisterial’s triumphant return to the stage, and also features the hardware-hesh worship of Antecessor dialing in the wayback machine for headbanging analog heads. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Xhurch, 4550 NE 20th Ave. 7 pm. Donations suggested. All ages.

SUNDAY, APRIL 3 Cullen Omori, Living Hour

[GLISTENING SYNTHS] Smith Westerns were a buzzworthy band when they first surfaced in the late aughts. Part of that was due to Max Kakacek’s dreamy guitar hooks, while the rest could be chalked up to Cullen Omori’s airy delivery and his unmistakable, glam-driven sashay. Omori brings some of the latter to his solo debut, New Misery, but only to varying degrees of success. Gauzy synth and bass creates a bed as bittersweet as it is blissful, especially when paired with the romanticism now fueling Omori’s headspace and meandering sense of direction. It makes for a bigger sound that, sadly, lacks the very thing most solo albums skirt: collaboration. BRANDON WIDDER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Freddie Gibbs, ILLFIGHTYOU, Chaz French

[GANGSTER RAP] With lame Twitter beefs and Future-clones dominating the conversation, Freddie Gibbs stays in his own lane as rap’s unsung hero. Despite having the exact same delivery as Tupac, as well as lyrical

prowess, Gibbs has almost a decade of mixtapes under his belt, maintaining a social consciousness alongside coke-rap braggadocio. Piñata, his 2014 collaboration with beat alchemist Madlib, is a masterpiece which showcases Gibbs’ dexterous flow amid cinematic sample hooks, with a steady narrative of maintaining the block— not to mention his sanity—from the powers that be. His latest, Shadow of a Doubt, trades throwback for trap, as he makes a darkly introspective build toward the mainstream. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18. 21+.

Ellie Goulding

[ELECTRO-POP] Differentiating between pop superstars can be tough. Just remember: Nicki Minaj raps, Ariana Grande wears bunny ears, Rihanna surpasses everyone in talent, and Taylor Swift is, well, Taylor Swift. Ellie Goulding, meanwhile, joined the lineup as the EDM pop queen in 2010. She’s also British, and therefore the only one to use the word “shag” in her lyrics, with an accent that comes through as strongly as Lily Allen’s at times. Goulding’s newest album, Delirium, includes the impossibly catchy “On My Mind.” But each of her insanely popular three albums has a song like that, just like we knew they would. SOPHIA JUNE. Theater of the Clouds at Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., 235-8771. 7 pm. $59.50. All ages.

TUESDAY, APRIL 5 Peter Murphy

[THIN BLACK DUKE] Nearly four decades after spawning a lifestyle from tuneful morbidity, Peter Murphy has somehow avoided both the indignities of age and the

CONT. on page 35


The Lower 48

HOT FOOL (SELF-RELEASED) [NEW INDIE] If Hot Fool is an exercise in versatility, then Portland trio the L ow e r 4 8 i s fi t for the task. The b a n d ’s n e w e s t release rubs the indie-rock stamp off its collective wrist to make room for enough g enres to cover its entire forearm. The rough-andtumbling, country-born “Threw It Away” leads right into the Spoon-esque “Jack in the Pulpit.” A song later, with “Transition 1,” the Lower 48 rides a wave of fuzzed-out surf rock. The band does in three consecutive songs what some struggle to do in three albums’ time. Is it a bit scattered? Yes, but that’s what gives the record its vibrancy. It would be somewhat of an autopilot move for the Lower 48 to rely on the hooks and she-and-him harmonies of its 2013 self-titled effort. Catchy and thematic as that record was, Hot Fool is exciting proof that the group is still figuring itself out all these years later, moving from the slacker-rock, PJ Harvey-inspired “Turn Back Around” to the bluesy “Sinkin’,” which could be pulled from an old Iron & Wine record. It’s the kind of shape-shifting that keeps listeners on their toes. MARK STOCK. SEE IT: The Lower 48 plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Tiburones and Rio Grands, on Thursday, March 31. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Diarrhea Planet plays Doug Fir Lounge on Tuesday, April 5. comical excesses of his never-notsilly trademark genre. Cheekbones forgive much, of course, as do the ever more public hints of a longrumored private wit: opening concerts hanging from a makeshift belfry, closing with Prince covers, and accepting roles in Twilight Saga: Eclipse and the upcoming Fangoria editor-helmed BlackGloveKiller. But, honestly, credit must be given to a consistently intriguing second act that easily outstrips his OG (Original Goth) contemporaries. While nothing will ever approach the galvanizing punk theatrics of those early Bauhaus recordings, 2014 solo album Lion’s roiling electronica proved perfect counterpoint to his arresting vocals, and he’s assembled a songbook deserving of the “Stripped” approach along this current acoustic tour. So long as the sepulchral baritone retains its deathless power, Murphy’s mystique lies resolutely undead. JAY HORTON. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $35. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.


[GOLD RUSH] The Nashville duo Escondido is made up of fashion designer Jessica Maros and Tyler James, formerly one of Edward Sharpe’s Magnetic Zeros. Their geographical name doesn’t refer to a hometown, but harks back further to Westerns set in the Gold Rush Southwest, which their driving rhythms, twangy guitar and distant trumpets could soundtrack. On the recently released Walking With a Stranger, a follow-up to their 2013 debut album, Maros rounds out the Southwestern theme with a powerhouse voice à la Pat Benatar or Carly Simon, but with a sultry softness that makes the music feel modern. SOPHIA JUNE. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Red Bull Sound Select: Diarrhea Planet, Music Band, Boone Howard

[POP PUNK] Nashville’s Diarrhea Planet made their bones as Flying V-wielding heshers imitating pop but have since morphed into a tight, blissful machine of glorious bubblegum chug, reminiscent of Dookie-era Green Day with Rivers Cuomo living out his KISS fantasies on lead guitar. Unsurprisingly, their live shows are high-energy affairs, notorious for crowdwide drunken euphoria. With a $3 entry price, this show should attract a sizable crowd, so arrive limber and wellrested. CRIS LANKENAU. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $3 with RSVP at 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Vusi Mahlasela and Habib Koite

[ACOUSTIC AFRICA] Two of Africa’s most accomplished and upbeat singer-guitarists share the stage in this intimate duet setting. One of Mali’s most renowned musicians and among the world’s great

guitarists, Habib Koite’s bubbling, acoustic-guitar-driven melodies and socially conscious lyrics won fans among Western pop stars like Bonnie Raitt and made him one of Africa’s biggest crossover successes in the 1980s and ’90s. South African singer-poet-activist Vusi Mahlasela’s gentle songs, delivered in a warm, high tenor, maintain a hopeful tone while decrying apartheid and urging reconciliation and unity. He’s also attracted admiration from Western pop stars (Dave Matthews, Taj Mahal, Bela Fleck, Sting, et al) and folk music fans, making this an essential show for Afro-pop aficionados. BRETT CAMPBELL. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm Thursday, March 31. $27.50 advance, $30 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Davina & the Vagabonds

[SINGSONG SWING] Davina Sowers sounds like Amy Winehouse if she had been even more into Etta James. A powerhouse vocalist whose band plays classicsounding singsong hits, Sowers uses her talents for good instead of Broadway evil, delivering masterful classics without their typical throwback corniness. On her latest album, 2014’s Sunshine, she and her band demonstrate tremendous artistic range in an often pigeonholed genre. Because while 1920sstyle swing may simmer, shimmy and shake, it doesn’t have to be bowtie-and-suspenders music. Done right, it’s cigar stuff. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm Thursday, March 31. $25. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Jupiter Quartet

[CLASSICAL] In the past dozen years, the young Jupiter Quartet has scored some of the most impressive awards in classical chamber music, played the world’s top classical venues and recorded several albums. On Monday, the University of Illinois foursome plays famous quartets by Beethoven (Opus 95) and Smetana (“From My Life”), along with one of the 20th century’s wildest string quartets, Gyorgy Ligeti’s 1954 Metamorphoses Nocturnes. Influenced by the folk music-meetsavant-garde quartets of his fellow Hungarian composer Béla Bartók, it sounds like one beautifully crazy evening. Tuesday’s show opens in the morning and ends in the evening, with two of the late, great quartets by Haydn (“Sunrise”) and Beethoven (Opus 132) along with another nocturnal composition, Henri Dutilleux’s 1976 quartet Thus at Night (Ainsi la nuit), which uses extended techniques like harmonics and playing with the bow on the instruments’ bridge to conjure a mysterious nether world. BRETT CAMPBELL. Lincoln Recital Hall at Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 224-9842. 7:30 pm Monday, April 4. $30-$47. All ages.

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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

MUSIC CALENDAR 3000 NE Alberta St Loudon Wainwright III, Caroline Cotter

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Harlowe, Green Hills Alone, Nolan Ford



Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Field Music


2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Graham Wilkinson

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. MC Chris

high Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Wow and Flutter, Down Gown, Human

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave The Christopher Brown Quartet; Mel Brown Quartet

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Fever Feel, Ladywolf, Happy Dagger

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Acid Dad, Comm

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Question Tuesday, The Knowle Roars, Virtual Zero, Black’s Beach

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. J Dilla Tribute featuring Slum Village, Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, and Phat Kat

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. SWMRS, the Frights, One Day Forecast

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St YAK ATTACK, ANIANA, DJ KELBEL (Fruition)

The Old church

1422 SW 11th Ave Sack Lunch Concert: Piano Students from Portland State University

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Ron Lynch


232 SW Ankeny St SHOWDEER PRESENTS: featuring DOLPHIN MIDWIVES with Consumer., Sea Charms

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St BOSE Troubador Tour with Jeff Campbell, Jamie Kent, Megan Slankard, and Matthew Szlachetka

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Wolfmother

ThuRS. MARch 31 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Vusi Mahlasela and Habib Koite

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Umbrella Festival Opening Night: EUROPEAN CABARET


Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St Kate’s Last Day Party

Al’s Den at crystal hotel 303 SW 12th Ave Barton Carroll

crystal Ballroom

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Dark Star Orchestra

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Prince Rama, Dinner

Duff’s Garage

1332 W Burnside St Underoath

2530 NE 82nd Ave Big Sandy and the Fly Rite Boys!


hawthorne Theatre

350 West Burnside RED ELVISES

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Lower 48, Tiburones, Rio Grands

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Atlas Genius

high Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Benefits for Jesse Grimmett: Burials, Honduran Dispossessed, Hungers Snakes


1001 SE Morrison St. Goldroom, JackLNDN

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Davina & The Vagabonds

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Fat Mannequins, Mama Magnolia (Denver, CO), Phil Ajjarapu (Austin, TX)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. San Fermin, Esmé Patterson

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Out From the Shadows II Festival

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Decibel Magazine Tour: Abbath, High on Fire, Tribulation

Star Theater

Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. APE MACHINE with Moondrake and Mammoth Salmon

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Sunflower Bean, Weaves

The Goodfoot


The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave The Slow Poisoner

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Trashcan Joe, 12th Avenue Hot Club


232 SW Ankeny St FLAURAL with Happy Dagger, Marshall Poole

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Hey Marseilles

FRI. APRIL 1 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Umbrella Festival Night Two: CARAVAN OF GLAM

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St The Cabin Project

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave Tiburones / Death Songs / Kulululu


WED. MARch 30

For more listings, check out


= WW Pick. highly recommended.

Alberta Rose

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Yung Lean; Lowercase Noises (lounge)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Soul Vaccination

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St The Hugs, Zuli (NY), No Aloha

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Gazebos, Boyfriends, the Bedrooms

Revolution hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Ra Ra Riot, And the Kids, PWR BTTM

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave Lissie, Skrizzly Adams

The Analog


The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Wicked Shallows, Forest Buetel, Matt Charette, Ben Kellogg

The Goodfoot


FEED THE TREE: A few weeks ago, The New York Times went on strike against the Music Festival-Industrial Complex. The paper of record proclaimed it would not be attending Coachella and Bonnaroo this year, essentially as a protest against the homogeneity of the summer festival circuit. “Instead of covering the biggest festivals reflexively,” wrote pop critic Ben Ratliff, “we’ll cover a number of smaller festivals with purpose.” But if that’s the case, then they’ve already missed one. I didn’t spot Ratliff or Jon Pareles or Jon Caramanica on the streets of Boise between March 23-27, but Treefort is precisely the sort of small, purposeful festival The Times’ critics are talking about. Strategically scheduled the week after South by Southwest, it is designed as a hangover cure to that increasingly unwieldy industry bacchanal in Texas, a five-day comedown shifting the focus back to regionalism and discovery—in other words, putting the “music” back in “music festival.” Treefort has grown in each of its five years, but it’s not even getting close to a saturation point yet. It’s a festival that has yet to outgrow its sense of modesty. Drake isn’t going to pop in anywhere, and the biggest celebrity you’re likely to run into is Built to Spill’s Doug Martsch. But if you want to walk in on the best band you never knew existed, there are opportunities on every block—and, in the case of Akron/Family member Seth Olinsky’s annual Band Dialogue orchestration (pictured), right in the middle of the damn street. MATTHEW SINGER. See our full Treefort recap at

The Old church

1422 SW 11th Ave The Greater Portland Flute Society presents Göran Marcusson

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St The Barn Door Slammers; The Faints, The Redeemed, Ron Rogers & The Wailing Wind


232 SW Ankeny St STARFLOWER with Lord Becky, Volturz

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Holiday Friends, Tuft, and Bryan John Appleby

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The Joy Formidable, Everything Everything


4550 NE 20th Potions, 555, Antecessor, Magisterial

SAT. APRIL 2 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Umbrella Festival Night Three: NAUGHTY NAUTICAL ADULT CABARET

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Trio Subtonic w/Dan Balmer

Arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway The Sinatra Century

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Dark Star Orchestra


350 West Burnside ANDERS OSBORNE w/ Sister Sparrow & The Dirty Birds

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Little Green Cars

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Foxing (early show), Denzel Curry (late show); Baby And The Nobodies (lounge)

high Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Hell, Un, Hissing, Hiding

Genders, Moonchild, Sunbathe

The Old church

600 E Burnside St Dreckig + Copy + Amani

The Secret Society

Star Theater • 13 NW SNOG with The Labrynth

116 NE Russell St Pink Lady Presents The Cat’s Meow!; The Libertine Belles

SuN. APRIL 3 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Umbrella Festival Night Four: CIRCUS FINALE!

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Soul Vaccination

1037 SW Broadway The Sinatra Century

Kelly’s Olympian

Bossanova Ballroom

426 SW Washington St Man of the Year, Luminous Things

722 E Burnside St Monthly Music Showcase

Mississippi Studios

350 West Burnside CLOUD CITY CIRCUS

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Thomas Garner Presents

The Firkin Tavern


The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St GET ON UP w/ TAKIMBA

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St


1422 SW 11th Ave Sounds of Brazil PDX: 8th Annual Dia do Choro

Arlene Schnitzer concert hall

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Mother Hips, Parson Red Heads

Skulldozer, Wolflaut, Fasala


Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Cullen Omori, Living Hour

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Freddie Gibbs

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St KPSU Presents: Fire Nuns, Millstone Grit, Hot Spit

Moda center

1 N Center Court St Ellie Goulding

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd

Star Theater

The Old church 1422 SW 11th Ave Portland Concert Opera presents Tchaikovsky’s IOLANTA

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St 7 on 7

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St Mary Tapogna: Mixed Media Mosaic


232 SW Ankeny St SHOWDEER PRESENTS: featuring HERD WILLIAM with Bombay Beach, Dead Death (Members of Waver Clamor Bellow)

MON. APRIL 4 Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Songhoy Blues

high Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Blackwitch Pudding, Deathkings, Tsepesch, Diaspora


1001 SE Morrison St. The Deli Portland Presents: Fur Coats, LiquidLight, The Love Junkies (AU)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave University of Portland Jazz Band; Dan Balmer Trio

Lincoln Recital hall at Portland State university

1620 SW Park Ave. Jupiter Quartet

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Luther Dickinson & The Cooperators, Jim Lauderdale

Panic Room

A Blasphemous Collaboration: Battalion of Saints


350 West Burnside CASEY DONAHEW BAND

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Red Bull Sound Select: Diarrhea Planet, Music Band, Boone Howard

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Mel Brown Septet; MC Shoehorn’s Hatband

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Bloodgeon, Hyborian Rage, Godenied, tba

Kelly’s Olympian

The Analog

Star Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. “FREE MARIJUANA MONDAYS” w/ Gothique Blend

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

TuES. APRIL 5 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Peter Murphy

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Portland Opera presents A Sondheim Celebration

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Blue Wave Band

Bunk Bar

426 SW Washington St Salo Panto 13 NW 6th Ave LEAETHER STRIP

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. “ULTRA MAGNETIC”

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St RADULA

The Old church

1422 SW 11th Ave “Little Ears” FREE Concerts for Children –


232 SW Ankeny St GREAT REGULAR FLAVOR with Voices of the sea

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Katie Gray

1028 SE Water Ave Escondido

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


Last day to nominate your favorites in our annual readers’ poll is TOMORROW Vote between now and the 31st in AT LEAST 25 sub categories for a chance to win a pair of tickets to MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst

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Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


the potlander

Where to drink this week.

1. 23rd Avenue Bottle Shop

2290 NW Thurman St., Not only are the cocktails very nice here—with a refreshing $5 special daily and a pot-still brandy peach number that’s a real peach—there’s no corkage fee on bottles. That means Pabst tallboys are $1.10, cheaper than at Yamhill Pub, and import bottles are the price of a pint. Wow.




O c t o b er 2 0 1 5



2. Pop Tavern



825 N Killingsworth St., 206-8483. Pop Tavern has a solid $5 tap list featuring Pfriem and the Commons, a $6.50 burger (with fries!) that’s meaty as hell, and a back patio. Like the bar equivalent of a good rug, Pop Tavern really ties the neighborhood together.

3. Pope House Bourbon Lounge 2075 NW Glisan St., 222-1056, The sun is intermittently back, the skies are intermittently clear, and it’s patio whiskey season again—a fine time for a $5 whiskeyvermouth Half Man cocktail at happy hour or a $10 Old Fashioned one of our writers swears is precisely twice as good.

4. Flying Fish

2340 NE Sandy Blvd., 971-806-6747, Grab an imported beer from the fridge at Providore Fine Foods, or pour one from one of the store’s two bars— the hidden Pfriem and Buoy taps in back or Flying Fish’s oyster-paired wines. Then down Netarts Bay oysters straight from the oyster farm for 2 bucks apiece.

5. Devils Point

5305 SE Foster Road, 774-4513, Apparently Dave Chappelle sang karaoke here during stripparaoke two weeks ago, making it briefly Portland’s coolest bar ever. Be like Dave.

THE RICH ARE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME: The first boundary at Boundary Wine Lounge (125 SW Mitchell St., 702-6026, is the challenge of finding the door. After walking around the building in the Southwest Corbett neighborhood a couple times, we had to ask for directions at Elephant’s Deli, then go around a corner, up some stairs and into the back parking lot. The nigh-unmarked door stands next to a pair of dumpsters. But inside, the low-lit, warm-wooded room is a tiny, cellared ode to money and discreet tastefulness, like Narnia through the wardrobe. After April 2, the tiny private club will be open only to the 110 people who’ve paid $1,000 each to become members. But for now, you can learn how the other 1 percent lives. The room holds crystal chandeliers that look a lot like the ones at Multnomah Whiskey Library, as well as the mounted head of a cape buffalo the approximate size of a Car2Go looming over the fireplace. It’s wonderful in there. I had the first sherry cocktail I’ve ever truly loved, an $11 Little Owl made with Smith and Cross rum, plus cinnamon and orgeat. It was like a more elegant answer to Navy Grog. A $13 German rosé was likewise lovely, and behind the bar, eight glowing bottles of wine are tapped at individual temperatures modulated by tenths of degrees. I even liked the fig-and-prosciutto flatbread, and flatbread is boring. If busy MWL is the Disneyland version of a sumptuous drinking club—presenting each ingredient, parading faux exclusivity with a downstairs Green Room—Boundary is the real thing. But it’s open to the public for only three more days, Thursday to Saturday. After that you need either a thousand dollars or the right kind of friend. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

SAT. APRIL 2 Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St DJ Sappho

Jo Bar & Rotisserie

WED. MARCH 30 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Reef and Rhonnie (‘60s soul, rock’n’roll)


1001 SE Morrison St RAC

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon

Plew’s Brew’s

8409 N Lombard St Wiggle Room (electronica, disco, house, hip-hop, downtempo)

THURS. MARCH 31 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Deep Space (garage, soul)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (EBM, goth, industrial, darkwave)

FRI. APRIL 1 Holocene


Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Death Trip with DJ Tobias (garage, psyche, post-punk, goth, death rock)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont Uplift Valentines 232 SW Ankeny St SURFACE NOISE*: A VINYL INVITATIONAL

715 NW 23rd Ave Saturday Night Spins (funk, soul, R&B, deep house)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave MISPRID presents Expressway to Yr Skull (Indie, deathrock, shoegaze, goth, electro)


3967 N. Mississippi Ave DJ Roane

The Tardis Room 1218 N Killingsworth St

Nerdtronic wih Emulator, B Hammer’d, Mathbonus Valentines 232 SW Ankeny St DJ TERU






Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Sad Day w/ DJ Buckmaster

TUES. APRIL 5 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave BONES with DJ Aurora (goth)

Publishes: APril 20, 2016 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, March 31 at 10am Call: 503.243.2122 Email: Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016



Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

PERFORMANCE Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and convenience charges may apply. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ ( Comedy: MIKE ACKER ( Dance: ENID SPITZ ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

“I’m 39, sober, no job, no girlfriend and I’ve been wearing these jeans for like two weeks now.”


Little red hot pants, Hula-Hoops and aerial contortions package Tempos Contemporary Circus’ version of Little Red Riding Hood. With live musicians, performers balancing on one another’s limbs, and one dancer swinging from the ceiling in chains, it’s not Disney. The Echo Theater, 1515 SE 37th Ave., 231-1232. 8 pm Friday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, April 1-3. $25.



How can Post5 follow-up an 80-yearold King Lear? Cast Ithica Tell as Othello, surround her with a female ensemble cast, enlist Drammy-winning bodypainter Caitlin Fisher-Draeger to direct, and set the 15th Century tragedy in the American prison system. Shakespeare’s inspiration for Othello was partly an Anglo-Islamic scandal, when Moroccan ambassadors descended on London and clashed with Queen Elizabeth. Today, the tragedy about a devious minion named Iago and his plot to frame the Moorish general Othello brings a couple CNN headlines to mind: racial profiling in the American justice system and refugees in modern Turkey. If the emotional gutpunch of King Lear or Post5’s remodeled proscenium stage aren’t enough to pull you to Sellwood, the stunning Tell should be. Extra show 7:30 pm Thursday, April 21. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-333-1758. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, April 1-23. $20.

The Twilight of the Golds

If your fetus will be a homosexual person some day, and you know this while it’s inside of you, what do you do? New Yorker Suzanne and her family debate this dilemma in the 1994 hot-button drama by Jonathan Tolins. The show flopped on Broadway, but the TV-movie version starring Brendan Fraser and Rosie O’Donnell fared a bit better. North Portland’s small Twilight Theater gives abortion politics a go. Pay what you will 8 pm Thursday, April 14. Twilight Theater Company, 7515 N. Brandon Ave., 8479838. 8 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, April 1-16. $15.

NEW REVIEWS The Few It’s 1999, at the height of Y2K panic, and a small-town Idaho newspaper created for long-haul truckers is failing. It doesn’t get much bleaker than that. Samuel D. Hunter’s play embraces loneliness through a no-fail combination of monologues about long-haul trucking, voicemails of people submitting their personal ads and characters affected by small-town conservatism and isolation. In both dialogue and set, the play succeeds in its preciseness. The thrust set, which is the inside of a trailer that holds the newspaper’s office, is decorated with old photographs of cats, postcards, dirty computer monitors, a Garfield coffee mug and pictures of long-haul trucks colored by kids. At points where the pauses between dialogue feel long, the set is endlessly interesting to notice. Val Landrum as QZ and Michael O’Connell as Bryan succeed in playing two people whose relationship has been twisted by loss and time. But it’s

CONT. on page 42

Somebody Hates You COMEDIAN MISHKA SHUBALY IS A DIRTY, VAGABOND SONGWRITER WHO TEACHES AT YALE. Mishka Shubaly cleaned up, but his comedy didn’t. Once a tattooed addict who accidentally stabbed himself and used an alias to get treated at the ER, he’s now a sober, plant-powered marathon runner with six Amazon Kindle bestsellers. But his jokes are still dirty. The author/comedian/singer looks like Adrian Grenier mixed with Wolverine and sounds like Johnny Cash reading a Louis C.K. script. Known for his filthy songs and standup, Shubaly mines human despair for comedy in songs like “Your Plus One at My Funeral.” Fresh off gigs in Utah and Kenya and newly homeless, Shubaly joins Kristine Levine at Bossanova Ballroom on Saturday to promote his new memoir and first physical book, I Swear I’ll Make It Up to You. Before coming to Portland, Shubaly talked to WW about teaching at Yale, being a deadbeat son and one night in Mexico with Levine. ENID SPITZ. WW: What’s your take on clean comedy? Mishka Shubaly: I admire people who can tell funny stories without being filthy or dark. Me, I want it as dirty and depressing as possible. Those are my people: the emotionally damaged, the drug addicts, the problem drinkers. In a 24-hour period we go through so much that wouldn’t make it into network TV. I spit on the morality that says that’s not high art. Chaucer and Shakespeare did full-on dick jokes. We have this American Puritan idea that high art is something different from vulgarity. It’s not true; they’re one and the same.

This is your first show with Kristine Levine. Are you a fan? A lot of standup is white guys talking about their dicks. I like Kristine because she’s sharper and filthier. She beats them at their own game. This time we were near the border down in Bisbee, Mexico. There were all these filthy guys doing their comedy, and Kristine’s the one who got the complaint. How do you feel about pairing with Amazon? Most of my success had been through online publishing. I know the Kindle reader audience is mostly 59-year-old women whose children left, so they read two books a day and live in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. But if I tone it down for them, it’s over. Those people secretly enjoy reading a writer whose bread and butter is the shit most people don’t want to talk about. Why do a printed book? The glut of publishing seems online now. You tell someone that you publish on Amazon and they’re like, “Oh, so does my landscaper.” But most people still read in print. Making a real book, printed on dead trees, gives a sense of legitimacy. When my dad’s neighbor comes over and asks him about “that deadbeat son,” now my dad can point to the bookshelf. Do you think it’s true that comics are all depressed, serious people? Maybe there’s a comic who doesn’t have that sense of fear and self-loathing, but if that person exists, I don’t want to hang out with them. What we do is say, “Here’s a thing that’s humiliated me.” The best way to defeat it is saying it out loud in a room of strangers, and they’re going to laugh. We all carry around some dark secret knowledge, like that time we got drunk and pissed the bed, and we think that we’re the only one. I tried to put every bad secret I had

in my book. Then last week I got this text from a friend saying, “Hey man, used to make out with dudes for free drinks, too.” You’ve been really outspoken about getting clean and becoming a runner though. I like to think I can talk to everybody. The book is produced by Doug Stanhope, who’s one of the dirtiest comics, and Rich Roll, who’s a sober, vegan endurance athlete. I’m teaching at Yale this summer, but I play in dive bars all the time. I want to bring it all together to prove that you might learn more in a dive bar than an Ivy League classroom, and you can get just as down and dirty in the classroom as a dive bar. When I taught at Yale for the first time, I gave the class a printout of my 1 star reviews on the first day. Things like, “he’ll never stay sober” or “this is shit.” They all looked up at me, dismayed. The point is someone is always going to hate you, but fuck ’em. So are you living the life, in your mind? I was living in New York City, then my building got sold and I was kicked out. I bought a camper and moved into my sister’s backyard. I’m fully embracing the creepy uncle part of my life. I’m 39, sober, no job, no girlfriend and I’ve been wearing these jeans for like two weeks now. Things are wearing a little thin. Starting with this tour, I’ll be on the road with no end in sight. You say, “never say die,” but you don’t want to be that 59-year-old guy with a grey ponytail wearing an arrowhead T-shirt. People say they envy me. I say, “Bullshit! You could do this, but you’re more invested in owning a boat.” If you ever see me selling aluminum siding, please put me out of my misery. SEE IT: Mishka Shubaly and Kristine Levine perform at Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 9 pm Saturday, April 2. $15. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


PERFORMANCE Caleb Sohigian’s Matthew who has the most dynamic character of the show, physically characterized with abrupt exits and by trailing off at the ends of his sentences, which he sometimes overplays for comedy. SOPHIA JUNE. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, March 25-April 16. $28.

ALSO PLAYING Davita’s Harp

Chaim Potok’s coming-of-age story isn’t a sappy World War II drama about Ilana (Kayla Lian), a girl growing up with Communist parents in New York. Instead, Jewish Theatre Collaborative’s new play feels eerily present-day. Trump springs to mind when one character calls Hitler “a clown who nobody takes seriously,” or when the play zooms in on gender discrimination. Ilana’s point of view anchors the story, with other characters referring to themselves in third person. While the nontraditional technique seems like an improv game, it gives the play an urgency that fits the intense subject matter of fascism and communism. Quick scene changes and abrupt blackouts augment that intensity and give a realistic perspective of what the events would look like to a child. Extra show 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 30. SOPHIA JUNE. Milagro Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday and 2 pm Sunday, through April 9. $30.

Heathers: The Musical

Triangle Productions’ candy-colored musical version of the 1988 cult classic is slightly lighter, but with the same body count. Picture fewer F bombs, and when mean girls get knocked off, they hang around as specters to enjoy the show. Hilarious song and dance numbers make excellent use of the movie’s best lines—you’ll be singing along to “My Dead Gay Son” in no time. On-brand bonuses include a pre-show signature cocktail called the Heathers-Up, snack-size bags of Heather C’s favorite snack—corn nuts—and scrunchies on sale to benefit a local crisis hotline. Bright-Faced Malia Tippets shines as the outsider Veronica, particularly in the duet “Seventeen” with the darkly-funny and brooding J.D. (Ethan Crysal). Extra show at 7 pm Sunday, April 3. MERYL WILLIAMS. Triangle Theater, 1725 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, through April 2. $15-$35.

No Man’s Land

Put Mean Girls into the not-so-hallowed halls of an all-girls Catholic school, and you get this semiimprovised play where new girl Andy Sawyer has run-ins with nuns and fields anti-abortion teachings. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, through April 3. $15.

Star Work

Follow a crew of bureaucratic spaceship workers as they gather space data, file soil samples and play board games aboard the Griffin 23J. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 10 pm Thursday-Sunday, through April 3. $10-$12.

We Are Proud to Present a Presentation About the Herero of Namibia, Formerly Known as Southwest Africa, From the German Sudwestafrika, Between the Years 1884–1915

The new show at Artists Rep is a theatrical mic drop. The audience sat in silence for three minutes (I timed it) when the show ended on opening night, except for the sound of a few people trying to swallow their sobs. It’s a hilarious, belly-laughing show about German soldiers committing genocide in Namibia. Playwright Jackie Sibblies Drury, in a stroke of genius, packages dense history as a presentation by a group of lovable actors. On a mostly empty stage, Chantal Degroat leads a series of skits that jump from present-day


Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

improv workshops to past atrocities. Your belly will hurt from laughing at Rebecca Ridenour’s ukulele rendition of “Edelweiss,” until the play makes a 180 and gut-punches you with the harsh, horrible reality of racial prejudices. Then all you can do to stare at the blank stage, with the house lights shining on you, and practice your deep breathing. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm WednesdaySunday and 2 pm Sunday, through April 3. $48.

COMEDY & VARIETY Craig Robinson

Mr. Craig Robinson might be best known for playing Darryl Philbin on The Office, but he’s also an incredibly hilarious and accomplished stand-up and leads the band The Nasty Delicious from behind an electric keyboard. Mixing jazz, funk and comedy, while singing sultry songs, Craig Robinson is a comedic anomaly. MIKE ACKER. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669, 8 pm Thursday, March 31, 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, April 1-2, $33-$41. 21+.

Earthquake Hurricane

A weekly showcase in a bike shop, hosted by some of WW’s favorite comics: Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Anthony Lopez and Bri Pruett. Velo Cult Bike Shop, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 922-2012. 9 pm every Wednesday. Free, $5 suggested donation. 21+.

Joking Bad

The hunt for Portland’s filthiest comic is on. Hosts Dan Weber and Jake Silberman kick off an eight-week competition to find out which of the city’s funniest jokesters can tell the dirtiest joke. Twenty-six comics will enter and eight will advance to the final rounds. Many of Portland’s top rising comics will be participating, including Joann Schinderle, Jason Traeger, Marcus Coleman, Aaron Klopfer, Venu Mattraw, Ed Black, Laci Daze, and Wednesday Weiss. MIKE ACKER. Funhouse Lounge, 2431 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734, 9:30 pm Thursdays, Mar. 31-May 19. $3. 21+.

Ron Lynch

A regular voice on Bob’s Burgers, familiar face on Portlandia and headliner at Bridgetown Comedy Fest, Ron Lynch is a granddad of alt comedy. He’s in the vein of Dr. Katz and looks a lot like that, too. From the fertile Boston comic scene that birthed NPR favorites Paula Poundstone and Bobcat Goldthwait, Lynch squigglevisioned his way to a regular Hollywood comedy show. Joining him for one night in Portland are locals Gabe Dinger and Phil Schallberger. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., 8 pm Wednesday, March 30. $15. 21+.

DANCE Grupo Corpo

Brothers Paulo, Pedro and Rodrigo Pederneiras are essentially the puppet masters behind this contemporary Brazilian company, which has brought its bright-orange bodysuits and high-kicking mixture of ballet and Afro-Brazilian dance to Portland four times before. Choreographer Rodrigo and technical director Pedro created “Suíte Branca,” a ballet involving suspended dancers, and “Dança Sinfônica,” with an original soundtrack by the 90-member Brazilian Philharmonic, to celebrate Paulo’s creation of the genre-mashing group 40 years ago. The first half has dancers flying through the air wearing white bodysuits and socks, the second features sensual duets with male dancers dressed like a Dirty Dancing Swayze. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 30. $26-$78.

For more Performance listings, visit







Avery Reiners. Photo by Tatiana Wills.

Apr. 14 - 23, 2016 | Newmark Theatre

Nicolo Fonte | Antonio Vivaldi, Max Richter, Ólafur Arnalds With Special Guest Artists Susan Banyas and Gregg Bielemeier TRIPWIRED: Jonathon Young (in suspenders) and the Kidd Pivot dancers.

German for “WTF” Addiction and trauma look like a faded Chicago on loop in the newest dance from Kidd Pivot, sweeping through the Newmark this weekend. Kidd Pivot is widely considered to be Canada’s best contemporary company, and this show breaks new ground for it. Artistic director Crystal Pite paired with Vancouver’s Electric Company Theater for the company’s first theater-dance hybrid. As Betroffenheit opens, a gaunt man appears alone on a stage resembling Abu Ghraib. “ We meet our narrator when he’s in a holding pattern, with elaborate habits that keep him clean,” says Kidd Pivot choreographer Crystal Pite. “He’s trying to resist the substance he’s addicted t o, [ a f i c t i o n a l d r u g ] called Showtime.” W h e n t h e m a n ’s d et e r m i n a t i o n f a i l s, life becomes a circus. Pite’s choreography makes the experience of relapse into a dilapidated burlesque spectacle. “The idea was to m a k e a s h ow t h a t f e e l s l i ke i t ’s b e e n running for a long time,” Pite says. “It used to be shiny and bright, but thanks to repetition it’s losing luster. Now it’s hollowed-out, faded and glitchy.”


Pite, a William Forsythe-educated ballerina and Olivier Award winner, directs five company dancers, who wear faded sateen bras, pinstripe trousers and bowler hats and tap dance maniacally around the drab central figure. Lights strobe, dancers buckle at the joints, and speakers blast voices from places they don’t belong—doorways, light fixtures and dancers’ bodies. It’s like cabaret torture, equally entertaining and horrifying. The star, Jonathon Young, wrote the script for Betroffenheit when his teenage daughter died in a fire in 2009 and the loss sent Young into post-traumatic shock. When Pite discovered Young’s play, she added dance to capture the inexplicable feeling of trauma. “‘Betroffenheit’ doesn’t translate into English easily,” says Pite of the German word for “bewilderment,” according to the playbill. “Loosely it means shock, or a violent event that leaves one speechless.” That’s where the show—or Showtime—comes in. “It’s a quest for an epiphany,” Pite says of the final dance in Betroffenheit, though she could easily mean therapy, or drugs. “He realizes that here is no epipha ny,” s h e a d d s. “ Yo u j u st d o t h e daily work and live life in parallel.” ENID SPITZ. SEE IT: Betroffenheit is at the Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway. 8 pm ThursdaySaturday, March 31-April 2. $25-$34.



Don’t miss the company premiere of Nicolo Fonte’s Beautiful Decay juxtaposing the fragility of age with the daring athleticism of youth.

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


VISUAL ARTS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JENNIFER RABIN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

On March 5, 2007, a car bomb destroyed Al-Mutanabbi Street in Baghdad, Iraq’s beloved and ancient street for booksellers. To pay homage to the books, ideas and culture that were lost, poets, book artists, photographers and printmakers contributed work to the international exhibition Al-Mutanabbi Street Starts Here!, which has made its way to Portland. Not only does the exhibition show solidarity with our fellow Iraqi citizens, it gives us an opportunity to see visual art that glorifies books and the literary form. Additional exhibitions are being held at the Museum of Contemporary Craft and Portland State University. Multnomah County Central Library, 801 SW 10th Ave., 988-5123. Through May 15.

lineal people whose lives were not captured by Curtis’ sepia portraits of male chiefs. Wilson’s breathtaking tintypes are digitally scanned and printed so that the original images can be offered to his subjects with whom he collaborated on the portraits, something Curtis never did. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-2811. $20. Through May 8.

Drawing to Planet Earth

The organic forms in Christine Bourdette’s abstract graphite and watercolor series call to mind natural

The People’s Liberation Army Goes Shopping

The subjects of adman-turned-artist Jim Riswold’s photographs are female soldier dolls from China’s People’s Liberation Army. Each doll, beautifully shot against a communist-red backdrop, wears luxury accessories with her starched whitegloved uniform: a foofy dog peeking out of a Kate Spade shoulder bag, a fur coat and chandelier earrings to compliment an AK-47. The juxtaposition of these elements makes for images so arresting they distract the viewer from their lack of sub-

Amateur Occult Club

Artist David Bray’s philosophy is “use what you’ve got…whatever implement is available immediately, right now, no excuses.” This would explain the materials list for his painting series Amateur Occult Club: stolen paint, marker, Wite-Out, ballpoint pen. It also accounts for the feeling of inyour-face immediacy you get from the work. Bray renders his figures with a single black outline, flattened against a solid matte background. Cheeks, nipples and tongues provide the only flashes of color. In Grail/ The Hills Shall, a woman bleeds from her ribs into a chalice. Disembodied praying hands, the kind you’d find tattooed on a felon’s neck, hover over the font of blood. Next to it, Bart Simpson’s head is scrawled in pen, as though some hoodlum had walked into the gallery with a Bic and tagged the work after it was hung. Bray’s great skill is his ability to combine disparate influences and iconography with pop-culture references to create his own visual language, a sophisticated aesthetic of fuck-you punk. Stephanie Chefas Projects, 305 SE 3rd Ave., Suite 202, 719-6945. Through April 2.

Contemporary Native Photographers and the Edward Curtis Legacy

Portland Art Museum’s curator of photography and the curator of Native American art have collaborated to recontextualize the work of Edward Curtis, an ethnologist who documented the Native tribes of North America a hundred years ago. Curtis’ iconic portraits are on display alongside the work of contemporary native artists Zig Jackson, Wendy Red Star and Will Wilson. Jackson uses humor and metacommentary in his black-and-white series. Red Star employs color, scale and interaction with museum visitors to highlight the traditions of Crow women, a matri-


Traces of Creation: Phenomena

When you walk into Leslie Ebert’s photography show, you will be confused. You will have no idea what you’re looking at. You will put your face right up to the photos to try to figure it out. Then, you will back away in hopes that some distance will clear things up. That will fail too. Ebert photographs light phenomena using a macro lens, so it’s no surprise that your brain has little context for the hazy, colorful glimmerings. Also, the photographs are printed on aluminum sheets, creating an unidentifiably luminous surface that you’ve likely never seen before. The images look out of focus, like faded memories. In contrast to the thoughtprovoking photojournalism that is popular today, Ebert’s photos don’t make you think of anything. They make you feel. Sage Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 541-206-2560. Through March 31.

Stone, Cloth, Flushed Cloud

Charlene Liu’s colorful, patterned works combine watercolor, printmaking, collage and pen and ink. In one series, Liu digitally processes images of ornate textiles salvaged from her mother’s restaurant, a nod to memory and lineage that draws you into every fold. Larger panels use hand-marbled paper to create kaleidoscopic images that feel both geometric and organic. Timed to coincide with an annual printmakers conference in Portland, Liu’s work shows us another way to explore the printmaking tradition. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521. Through April 2.



Photographer William Binzen’s panoramas of the American West are so massive that the viewer is sucked into the landscape, feet no longer touching the gallery floor. Shot with a large format camera, Binzen’s photos show the impacts people have had on the land. Smoke plumes from power plants choke the sky and pollute a nearby lake, ribbons of highways slice through pristine desert, chain-link fence corrals rubble outside of a gothic-style cathedral and mills deface foothills without a thought. In Azimuth, it is clear that destruction comes on the heels of man’s desire to grow, to build, to expand, to industrialize. And we are left to consider the consequences. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210. Through April 3.

light” is listed as one of the materials used to create each piece. This is a nod to the impermanence of the work, the fact that the colors and the fabric will begin to change and fade over the course of the exhibition in a room with floor-to-ceiling windows. This degradation is as important to Ricketts’ work as the growing, harvesting and fermenting of the indigo plants. It is not the final result, but the process of making that is the most lasting. Museum of Contemporary Craft, 724 NW Davis St., 223-2654. $6. Through April 23.

ism of the rest of the series, and end up feeling like afterthoughts to an otherwise compelling show. PDX Contemporary, 925 NW Flanders St., 227-5111. Through April 2.


Al-Mutanabbi Street Starts Here!

Scappoose studio, which is filled with electric saws, a wall of clamps, and drawers full of rasps and drills that he’s collected in the past 28 years. “It’s about the experience—proof that I existed at that moment in time. I don’t care what happens to the pieces afterward.” It is not uncommon for Rathbun to hold a burn at his studio to clear out remnants from past projects. “If you keep a lot of old work around, it’s hard to make new work,” he says. “If I’m an artist worth my salt, I should be able to start from zero and be just as good as I was before.” To read a full profile of Rathbun, visit Front of House, 112 SW 1st Ave., 548-4984, Through April 30.

THE PEOPLE’S LIBERATION ARMY GOES SHOPPING phenomena formed over millenniums. Bourdette is a Portland resident and Drawing to Planet Earth is informed by the landscape of the American West. Dappled rock formations fill the background, muted and as old as time. Bright splashes of color overlaid by Bourdette’s brush remind the viewer that nothing is stagnant, everything changes. Alongside her drawings, Bourdette is showing a series of small paper sculptures that use an ephemeral material to evoke the enduring textures of the geological world. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521. Through April 2.

I Have Love in My Heart As a Thief Has Riches

When Front of House gallery calls artist Mike Rathbun to take down his monumental wood installation, he’ll probably offer his usual solution: “Just burn it.” He took three months to construct the towering vertical ring made from strips of raw poplar tethered to the floors, walls and ceiling by carved wooden guy wires. It fills the entire gallery with graceful arcs and crisscrossing lines, a powerful testament to Rathbun’s massive-scale craftsmanship. “Building the thing is most important to me,” he says from his

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


After gaining access to Oregon State University’s archive of nearly three million insect specimens, artist Sarah Horowitz decided to devote an entire series of etchings to moths. Horowitz created the impossibly detailed black-and-white images by scratching delicate lines into a copper plate while looking through a magnifying visor. The etchings are sedate and still, like biological illustrations in an antique book, but the moths are so realistic it seems possible they might fly off the page. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142. Through April 2.


Some of Jenene Nagy’s works look like pieces of origami that have been taken apart and flattened, leaving a three-dimensional echo to the two-dimensional piece. Nagy’s use of repetitive hatchings in graphite as a way to build up the material on the surface of the paper creates a subtle texture that reflects light in every direction. A painted palm frond propped in the corner of the gallery and a wall-sized photo mural of a desert landscape—meant to add levity and offer a sense of place— are at odds with the quiet minimal-

stance. Riswold’s artist’s statement is devoted to information about China’s biggest shopping day and how it outmatches Black Friday. If Riswold had followed this thread, the series could have been an interesting commentary about commercialism, capitalism and communism. But by only using images of women (the artist said female dolls were all he could find), Riswold is making a powerful statement that he didn’t intend. Presenting an image of a female soldier holding a rifle in one hand and a beauty pageant bouquet in the other—especially a female soldier from a country that has a history of aborting girls—adds to the culture of undervaluing women instead of commenting on it. It also fails to communicate anything substantive about China’s commercialism. Oranj Studio, 0726 SW Gaines St., 719-5338. Through March 31.

Rowland Ricketts

Some of Rowland Ricketts’ wallmounted squares of indigo fabric evoke abstract color fields, while others look like they were kissed by a cloud of calligrapher’s ink. They all show the incredible nuance of color that the artist is able to achieve through dyeing and weaving. Most notable is the fact that “day-

In a two-person show, mixed media artists Mario Gallucci and Danielle Gottesman explore the idea of thresholds based on their own practices. Gottesman works in steel and wood to create minimal architectural forms that evoke openings and closings, like that of a bird’s wings or the pages of a book. Gallucci’s hyperrealistic sculpture of a dying houseplant and his photograph of a boardedup building reference crossings over from life to death, utility to obsolescence. Gallucci and Gottesman show us that thresholds can be internal or external, physical or intangible. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101. Through April 2.

Variable States: Prints Now

Upfor Gallery is doing what it does best by celebrating the intersection of a classic art form and the technologies that have reshaped it into what is newly possible. This month, eight artists show us the entire spectrum of printmaking, from serigraph to 3-D printing. Alyson Provax’s looped video, using letterpress animation cells, will keep you glued in front of it. And Janet Ballweg gives us a series of moody intaglio prints, which look like 2-D theater sets of abandoned living spaces. Created from computer-generated models, the final prints exist in the ineffable space between the digital and the tangible. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111. Through April 9.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.


tinctly modern affair, a buzzword responsible for much of the political machinations of our time. But back in the ’70s, terrorist attacks were even more frequent—even once a week at some points. Days of Rage is the newest book from Bryan Burrough, Vanity Fair correspondent and author of Barbarians at the Gate, a riveting tale of the Nabisco buyout in 1988. It tells of the shift from the loving ’60s to the (literally) explosive violence of the ’70s with a true-crime panache. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney

When Leo Plumb crashes his car while on a bender, he costs his 19-year-old waitress passenger her foot, and he and his three adult siblings their inheritance. Following the siblings’ confrontation of Leo, Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney embarks on an exploration of money’s effect on people and their relationships with each other. Sweeney should be something of an expert on the subject, if not already: She sold the rights to her novel, The Nest, to Ecco for seven figures. She’ll be speaking with former Oregonian film critic Peter Ames Carlin, who reeeeally likes Bruce Springsteen. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Andrew F. Sullivan

In a hard-up town in Ontario, two drunk dummies hit a lion with their car. They keep the bizarre encounter under their hats and return to a life of skinheads and broken homes. Andrew F. Sullivan’s debut novel, Waste, comes on the heels of his debut short-story collection, All We Want Is Everything, whose title is a great excuse for me to mention that I really like Bauhaus. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3713 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free

THURSDAY, MARCH 31 Lyndsay Faye

OK, but what if Jane Eyre was a serial killer? Lyndsay Faye’s Jane Steele is a book about that. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hill Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.




In an alternate-timeline 1970s, apes run the planet and keep humans as pets. The titular Humans are among the lowliest of these apes: They’re a drug-addled biker gang from Bakersfield. It’s drawn by Tom Neely of everyone’s favorite punk/ metal erotic fan-fiction graphic novel, Henry & Glenn Forever & Ever, and written by Keenan Marshall Keller of Galactic Breakdown fame. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch St., 241-0227. 5 pm. Free.

Thomas Frank

In 2004’s What’s the Matter With Kansas?, Baffler co-founder and current Harper’s columnist Thomas Frank discussed how the Democratic Party’s shift from social equality to “social issues” like gay marriage and abortion morphed his home state from the heart of the populist Progressive movement to a reliable Republican stronghold. In his newest book, Listen, Liberal: Or, What Ever Happened to the Party of the People?, he continues along this line of thinking, arguing that the party only represents upper-socioeconomic classes. (See Hotseat, page 9.) Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Philip Kerr

Philip Kerr’s debut in crime fiction, a trilogy following Bernie Gunther, a detective in Nazi Germany, put him on the map as one of the top crime writers in the game. In Kerr’s latest novel, The Other Side of Silence, Gunther is back as a tour guide in the French Riviera of the ’50s. But when a famous writer seeks him out, Gunther finds himself dealing with some crap he thought he’d left in Germany. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hill Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.


Andrea Dunlop & Amy Hatvany

Two authors plumb the depths of familial tumult for your pathos. Andrea Dunlop’s debut, Losing the Light, tells the story of a young woman ready to leave a hip New York City life for the family life in Westchester with her fiance when she falls for an old flame at a French photography retrospective and is sucked into a world of art and intrigue. Amy Hatvany’s new novel, Somewhere Out There, finds a mother asking her adopted mother about her origins, after her own daughter asks the same. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hill Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.



The author of 24 books of fiction and nonfiction and the winner of Pushcart Prizes and O. Henry Awards, Rick Bass is one of the titans of the short story. A geologist by training, the Montanan’s work has a strong grounding in nature and the environment. His latest collection, For a Little While, includes new and old stories that follow calves with diarrhea, hellacious ice storms and dog trainers voyaging into the wilderness. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

MONDAY, APRIL 4 Bryan Burrough

For those of us born after Reagan left office, terrorism seems like a dis-


Rob Spillman

As an editor at Tin House, Rob Spillman is in the engine room of the mighty Portland literary machine. But before he landed that gig, he had a pretty nuts life involving living near the Berlin Wall, getting into drugs, failing out of college, surviving car crashes and hanging out in the old East Berlin. In his memoir, All Tomorrow’s Parties, Spillman tells these stories, and more. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


Open Every Day Happy Hour 3-6, 9-Close, all day on Tuesday

Open for Christmas 3924 N Mississippi Ave • 503-445-1909 46

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


Hanks for the Memories

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.



B+ On Wednesday, March 30, NW Film Center will screen four short works from Portland documentary filmmaker Jodi Darby, who created the recent award-winning documentary Arresting Power: Resisting Police Violence in Portland, Oregon. Her largely experimental short films are like tripping into a rabbit hole of rapid cuts and collaged images, like brief, well-crafted persuasive essays told in pictures. The four films start with Constellation. At less than two minutes, this maybe the most powerful documentary you ever see. It’s a single shot of the Mexico-U.S. border, superimposed with white dots that create constellations out of a surveillance camera, a plane and a gun shooting bullets made of stars. Man Movie takes clips from dozens of films to explore men’s roles in film, which turn out to be a lot of running, shooting and fighting. In 100 Suns, Darby captures the terror of nuclear war, using archived nuclear test films and footage of houses exploding overlayed with grimy yellow, green and hot pink filters and a fuzzy guitar soundtrack. Stonewall is the most traditional documentary, with the Ken Burns effect and talking head interviews, it’s a revisionist look at the Civil War from a queer perspective. NR. SOPHIA JUNE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, March 30.


An Evening With Jodi Darby



I Saw the Light drops this week to educate the world about the 1940s country singer who burned bright and too briefly. You’d expect a story of a musician living life in the fast lane to be exciting, but The Light manages to make drinking and womanizing seem like a lecture on tax law. It’s not a spoiler to say Hank dies, since he was a real person. It happened in 1953. But I was a little surprised because I mistakenly believed the movie was about the Hank Williams who is still alive and making music. Turns out, that’s his son, Hank Williams Jr. To help you avoid making my mistake, here’s a field guide to the many Hank Williamses you may encounter in day-to-day life.


A- A shrill French lady is so rich no one dares snuff out her dreams of becoming an opera singer, in Xavier Giannoli’s portrait of splendor, a surprisingly humorous drama that’s all fur collars, stage lights and silk robes. But there’s melancholy too, as Marguerite’s husband arranges sad, private concerts filled with pre-screened patrons. R. MERYL WILLIAMS. Fox Tower.

My Golden Days

A A French New Wave drama as clichéd as they come, My Golden Days is wrought with existential crises, rapid scene changes, split screens, shots of characters longingly gazing out the window or looking directly at the camera, as if to remind audiences that they are indeed watching a film. But director Arnaud Desplechin, who created the film as a prequel to his 1996 My Sex Life…Or How I Got Into an Argument, pairs these clichés with a realistic story about the life of protagonist Paul Dédalus (Quentin Dolmaire) in France. The film begins with Dedalus as a middle-aged man, then digresses into one long nostalgia-stained flashback. His story is hauntingly naive, told through shots of house parties lit in dim blues and greens, teens in ’80s-print button-downs rolling joints, drinking whiskey and chain-smoking cigarettes. The existential depression grows tired by the end, but somehow, watching an innocent love story devolve into dark obsession doesn’t. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Fox Tower.

They Will Have to Kill Us First: Malian Music in Exile

B+ A “fight for your right” documentary, Kill Us First flies on a beautiful message: “Music is something we have in our blood.” It follows exiled Malian musicians who battled the Islamic extremists who banned all music in 2012. The musicians’ conviction and the movie’s heartening beats should

CONT. on page 48

Hiram King “Hank” Williams HEIGHT:

6’1” (or thereabouts)

Look for a skinny man with a shiny coat (bedazzled-cowboy variety) and a Stetson hat.


The call of the Hiram Hank is a warbly country-folk song about domestic unhappiness. The Hank had 35 singles in the Billboard Top 10, including such toe-tappers as “My Son Calls Another Man Daddy” and “Why Should We Try Anymore.” I Saw the Light gives little insight into why he wrote such depressive tunes. Instead, the whole thing feels as if it’s about a man who never did much.


This Hank was known for a troubled family life and his affinity for combining booze and Vicodin. Despite his huge fame, he was fired from the Grand Ole Opry for being unreliable and frequently intoxicated. He died of substance-induced heart failure on the way to a gig. BEHAVIOR:

Randall Hank Williams, aka Hank Williams Jr. HEIGHT: 6’2”

Shelton Hank Williams, aka Hank Williams III or Hank Williams 3D

DESCRIPTION: The first son of Hank Williams, the mighty HW Jr., is an imposing figure, never without the bushy beard, sunglasses and cowboy hat he uses to hide the scars he earned during a near-fatal mountain-climbing accident.


SONGS: He evolved from tunes that sounded like his father’s to a rougher rock-country sound. Perhaps the most well-known song he made is “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight,” which was used as the Monday Night Football theme for 20-plus years.


BEHAVIOR: Like his father, Jr. struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. His conquest of these demons, however, revitalized his sound and ultimately made him an enduring figure in the world of country music. If you see a Randall in the wild these days, however, he is probably referring to President Obama as a Nazi on Fox and Friends or as a Muslim in casual conversation. If sighted, do not approach the Randall Hank.


Like his elders, the Shelton Hank maintains a permanent hat. But unlike the first generation, this Hank’s metal influences are apparent from the tattoos on both of his arms.


The sound of the Shelton remains inaccessible to many. His psychobilly call can be heard in such projects as “Assjack,” which featured Hank Williams 3D on all instruments.

BEHAVIOR: Constantly fighting the Hank Williams legacy, and record labels who want him to sound like something people would actually listen to, Shelton Hank is a true rebel. It’s too early to know if that will coalesce into a career that lives up to his elders’.

Henry “Hank” Williams, aka Some Guy I Found on LinkedIn From the picture, about 5’10”.


Friendlylooking. A light 5 o’clock shadow and round face. Seems huggable, though the picture is admittedly pretty small.


The LinkedIn Hank might sing you something if you ask nicely, but who knows. I couldn’t contact him because I canceled my account years ago, though I can’t seem to convince the LinkedIn people of that. I still get three to five emails a day from them.


BEHAVIOR: Highly motivated leader with over 30 years’ experience in process improvement. Knows a lot of CAD stuff. Builds helicopters, I think? Work history shows he’s much more stable than the other Hanks listed in this guide.

SEE IT: I Saw the Light is rated R. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills and Clackamas. Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016





THIS WEEK’S FEATURED SPEAKERS For the full list of speakers go to

Hometown Heros


Simple is working to radically redesign banking by using modern technology to help people worry less about money.


Beyond the Hype: the future of IOT and why Portland should be at the epicenter.

MY GOLDEN DAYS squelch your whining about First World problems with a front-row view of how jihadists tried to literally silence a nation. Vibrant singers, like Fadimata “Disco” Walet Oumar, populate the film’s picturesque shots of African landscapes and colorful towns. Overflowing with information and beats, at times the film feels too fast-paced both educationally and musically. But it succesfully balances both foot-tapping and cultural commentary, concluding with hope and a live concert. NR. AMY WOLFE. Hollywood. 7:30 pm Thursday, April 7.

STILL SHOWING 10 Cloverfield Lane

C+ The motto of J.J. Abrams’ latest thriller is, basically, don’t text and drive. Also, don’t break up with your fiance, or else you’ll get in a terrible car accident, be abducted by a Lolita-inspired murderer and watch your whole family die in the alien apocalypse—in one night. 10 Cloverfield Lane falls victim to the usual thriller clichés: It doesn’t come close to passing the Bechdel test and contains numerous gratuitous shots of Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in her underwear, a cheap thriller soundtrack and, of course, aliens. Despite the clichés, Abrams shows for the first hour and 20 minutes that he’s almost capable of a smart psychological thriller. The last 10 minutes, however, confirm he’s not. The majority of the film creates a claustrophobic, paranoid world inside a bunker designed to survive the apocalypse, and Howard (John Goodman) is the seemingly friendly ringleader. The bunker is surprisingly homey, equipped with games, DVDs and enough food to last for years. For a second, you wonder: Is this really so bad? That’s a question Abrams makes sure to answer. PG-13. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

45 Years

A- Andrew Haigh’s rich, slow-




Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

moving marital mystery, 45 Years, centers on gorgeous cinematography and masterful acting by Tom Courtenay and Charlotte Rampling as a buttoned-up, childless woman on the verge of celebrating her 45th wedding anniversary to a man she suddenly doesn’t know. R. LIZZY ACKER. Academy, Laurelhurst.


B- It’s a little creepy watching a stop-motion puppet perform cunnilingus. Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) fills his movie with jarring moments when our childhood associations of stop-motion animation collide with this very grown-up story. It was nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Feature, but it’s also an early contender for feel-bad movie of 2016. R. RICHARD SPEER. Academy, Cinema 21, Laurelhurst.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

D Batman and Superman are fight-

ing, and it’s hard to choose a side. The new Warner Bros. Superman is classically boring, overpowered and out of place in the 21st century. Batman, on the other hand, has been reinvented as a huge dickhead. Played by Ben Affleck with a characteristic lack of gravitas, Batman walks around in a silly metal suit killing people. You know how Batman never kills people? He does now. Even when he doesn’t have to. He even assigns himself the task of killing Superman because, you know, “he might be bad later.” With nobody to root for, BvS:DoJ is just an unconscionably long slugfest simultaneously attempting too much and accomplishing almost nothing. Despite the rare bright spots—like Jesse Eisenberg’s intriguingly outlandish Lex Luthor and Amy Adams as a strong international war reporter version of Lois Lane—I left feeling bored and slightly concussed from giant men punching each other into buildings for no reason. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Edgefield, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Roseway, St. Johns Cinemas.

The Big Short

A We’re in a bubble of movies

about the financial crisis, but The Big Short is the first good one. It’s based on the book by Michael Lewis, who’s known for making complicated financial topics into compelling stories, and adapted by Adam McKay, who is known for Talladega Nights and the “More Cowbell” sketch. Surprisingly, this combo works. R. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Living Room Theaters, Valley.

The Bronze

A- One minute into the film, former Olympian Hope Ann Greggory— played by writer Melissa Rauch, from The Big Bang Theory—masturbates to a video of herself winning the medal for the U.S. women’s gymnastics team despite a Kerri Strug-esque injury. And I was sold. That scene introduces you to the backstory of Hope, a former national hero, without feeling sappy or forced. Now, it’s years after her medal-winning performance, and Hope’s injuries kept her from further competition. She’s older, but she’s never moved on. She’s still a hero to her small town, but maybe she’s been milking her celebrity a little too long. Despite her best efforts to remain a drain on the city, she gets roped into training another young gymnast and has to sideline her concerns that this new blood will eclipse her own fame. A very nonstandard, and really great, sports movie ensues. R. ALEX FALCONE. Clackamas, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.


A- Based on the novel by Irish author Colm Tóibín and adapted by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy), Brooklyn is just the sweetest thing. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement)

makes an adorable couple with Emory Cohen (Smash), and I could watch them court for hours, especially their awkward dinners with Cohen’s Italian family. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Cinema 21, Laurelhurst.

City of Gold

B+ Jonathan Gold is one of food

journalism’s only legitimate heroes, and certainly the only one with a Pulitzer on his metaphorical belt buckle. With his Counter Intelligence column for L.A. Weekly and the Los Angeles Times beginning in the ‘80s, Gold helped change the way traditional working-class and ethnic fare like tacos and pho are viewed by food critics—as cuisines every bit as layered, vital and full of history as the stuff at high-dollar French spots. This new documentary by Laura Gabbert accompanies the legendary journalist as he tours the eateries and neighborhoods of L.A. Gold told WW, “I love the way it makes Los Angeles look. It’s a part of Los Angeles that doesn’t make it onto film so often. In a way, it’s probably as much about the ecstasy of being in your car as the sun sets as it is about going to restaurants.” Read the full Q&A with Gold at wweek. com. NR. Cinema 21.


B Within the first 10 minutes of Deadpool, the titular “merc with the mouth” graphically slaughters a baker’s dozen of goons to a soundtrack of “Shoop,” breaks the fourth wall by talking to the audience, punches multiple scrotums, drops more f-bombs than Tony Montana and takes a bullet directly up the butthole while giggling about it. Deadpool doesn’t reinvent the wheel. But it does teabag it. And sometimes that’s enough. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant, Part 1

D Undistinguishable from its young-adult science-fiction counterparts, Part 1 spends every second dragging out what it calls a plot in order to set up the entirely unnecessary final installment. It was intended to be anchored by a joyless love story that features zero chemistry. Instead, we don’t give a fuck about either of them, so we don’t give a fuck about their love story. The film’s excessively dull proceedings are punctuated by generic action scenes in which the Bureau of Genetic Welfare uses a bunch of weirdo army shit to kidnap little kids and wipe their brains clean. A sleepy-eyed Jeff Daniels on autopilot is easily the best thing in a film constructed entirely of stereotypes. If you are over 17 years old there is exactly zero reason for you to waste your money on this. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, , Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas.

B Enter the mind of Doris, where 20-something men with waxed chests rip off their shirts and slam her passionately against the wall. Until someone wakes her from the daydream. Doris is a whipsmart comedy that pokes fun at the ultra-curated youthful lifestyle, while avoiding the recent trope of seniors finding a place amid the nostalgic fascination of millennials. You can almost feel John trying not to laugh as he offers customblended artisanal cocktails to Doris during Friendsgiving at his place. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Hollywood, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center.

Eddie the Eagle

C Based on Michael “Eddie the Eagle” Edwards’ rise to (sort of) Olympic fame, this is an underdog story with a twist: He never gets any cooler, and he doesn’t win the gold. As Britain’s first competitor in Olympic ski jumping, he qualified just by successfully landing a jump, which on its own can be a deadly feat without proper training. Though he finished last, his enthusiasm and goofy appearance won over audiences worldwide. Taron Egerton brings his own twitchy charm to the role of Eddie, scrunching up his face to get a better look through his thick glasses. A synthy musical score sets the tone during the 1988 Olympics in Calgary, but ’80s nostalgia and a lovable, bespectacled hero can’t save the cheesiness of coach Bronson Peary (Hugh Jackman) taking on a ski jump in jeans and a lit cigarette. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport.

Hail, Caesar!

B+ From the opening scene, in

which Capitol Pictures “fixer” Eddie Mannix (a gruff Josh Brolin) skips out of confession, it’s a quick 27-hour shitstorm through high drama as movie star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) gets abducted. The Coens’ funniest film since The Big Lebowski combines a zany caper, a communist plot, ’50s studio politics and a touching story about one man’s calling in life into a cohesive, lighthearted and quip-heavy comedy. It’s a neat package like only the Coen brothers can tie up. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Hollywood, Living Room Theaters.

The Hateful Eight

A- Quentin Tarantino’s new mystery

Western, The Hateful Eight is a spectacular bit of storytelling set against

70 millimeters of Wyoming grandeur, yet neat enough to fit together like the gears in a Swiss watch. R. Fox Tower.

How to Be Single

D Dating is hard, not sure if you’ve heard. It’s especially hard for four single women in New York who are, like, different kinds of single (Rebel Wilson, Leslie Mann, Dakota Johnson, Alison Brie). R. ALEX FALCONE. Laurelhurst, Fox Tower, Valley.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2

B Katniss Everdeen leads a group of rebels against the Capitol, which has been booby-trapped with hot oil, lasers, and an army of lizard people. PG-13. Vancouver.

CONT. on page 50

Eye in the Sky

C+ The year’s first movie on the ethics of drones and the last film featuring Alan Rickman, misses its mark. British Col. Katherine Powell (Helen Mirren) tracks infamous terrorists to a house in Nairobi, Kenya. To stop the suicide bombing they’re planning, Powell orders a Predator drone to destroy the house. The only problem is a small, hula-hooping neighbor girl. The plot arc is more of a plot sine wave. Every 15 minutes, the girl’s life seems doomed. Then some new circumstance delays the strike. This pattern is an exasperating running joke, with the withering Lt. Gen. Frank Benson (Rickman as a wandless Professor Snape in olive drab) throwing up his hands and staring down the people who just refuse to blow that little girl up already. It’s not Rickman’s fault (RIP) that his dry humor is out of place in a movie about the ethics of vaporizing people with missiles. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters.

Gods of Egypt

D It’s ancient Egypt like you’ve never seen it before: bigger, shinier and chock-full of deities punching each other. The gods are distinguishable from the normals because they’re a bit taller, they transform into shiny animal robots and— despite being in Africa 5,000 years ago—they’re white as crystal meth. They’re led by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones) as Horus, god of light, and Gerard Butler (Olympus Has Fallen) as Set, god of beard stubble. Shown but never explained: giant flying beetles; a 3,000-foot waterfall; removing and putting back somebody’s glowing blue brain; a flaming pyramid; ridable, giant firebreathing snakes; and why the characters are all so white. This is Egypt! PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Avalon, Clackamas, Division.


2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) •

Th e W

Embrace of the Serpent

A- Colonialism rears its ugly head in this Oscar-nominated film, which follows a shaman, a German explorer and a native who’s assimilating into colonized culture as they journey through South American jungles in the early 1900s, searching for a plant with mysterious healing powers. NR. SOPHIA JUNE. Living Room Theaters.

sta rts Fri day apr iL 1 st


Hello, My Name is Doris

THE BOY WHO LIVED: Jaeden Lieberher.

A Light in the Eyes The premise of a magical boy running from the government sounds trite. But add a clever, light-handed screenplay, take away the kitschy magic, and include a dark take on the increasing flow of data through satellites, and you’ve got a fresh, modern science-fiction film. Writer-director Jeff Nichols (Mud) uses sparse dialogue to maintain an air of mystery around the calm, young Alton (Jaeden Lieberher), carefully using every word and glance to tell a little more about this electromagnetically charged child. Michael Shannon as Alton’s father, Roy, is a pious man whose only remaining faith lies in his son. Running from the religious cult they abandoned and FBI agents intent on obtaining his child, Shannon emits quiet strength as a father protecting someone he doesn’t understand. He shows nothing but complete commitment while burning bridges and crashing cars to evade the cult’s cronies and government drones. Roy is joined by a gruff cowboy named Luke (Joel Edgerton), whose similar dedication shows you don’t have to be Alton’s father to believe the child’s ability to tune in to encrypted satellite transmissions is only part of what’s really at stake. Nichols never resorts to intergalactic battles or wizardy magic, but he plays with our expectations to amp up the tension. During a nighttime scene, car headlights look lifelike as they cut through the darkness, their movements backlit by the eerie glow of city skylines. Just as you’re waiting for a green, two-headed alien to materialize, the camera turns to Alton reading space-themed comic books with a flashlight. The trick leaves you even less prepared for moments that can’t be explained, turning your shock into terror when Alton screams in pain and beams of light shoot from his eyes. Although punctuated with shootouts and chase scenes, this action flick exudes a deeply tragic tone. Alton is aware of his false deification, his somber maturity making the 8-year-old more odd than his actual condition. The moment Luke witnesses Alton’s abilities firsthand, his facial expression is a look of relief and sadness, both at the proof that there is something more than the eye can see, and the morbid realization that this mission cannot end well for everyone. LAUREN TERRY. Midnight Special is sci-fi magic without the kitsch.

B SEE IT: Midnight Special is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at TK theaters.

Store k e e W e illamett



wiTh a DubDubDeal!

We’ve got plenty of affordable offers to start the year off right. Find certificate discounts to some of your favorite Portland restaurants. Visit Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016


MOVIES A- It’s been five years since Kung Fu Panda

2, and Jack Black hasn’t been in anything even close to that good since. PG. Academy, Avalon, Cedar Hills, Empirical, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Division, Valley.

London Has Fallen

D About halfway through London Has Fallen, Gerard Butler’s grumbling, stabby Secret Service agent slowly digs his gigantic knife into the organs of Random Brown Villain No. 453 and implores him to “go back to Fuckheadistan.” The look of horror on the face of his BFF-in-chief, Aaron Eckhart as the U.S. president, is meant as part of a joke (he’s such a pussy!). Featuring Melissa Leo, Morgan Freeman and Jackie Earl Haley, for fuck’s sake, this sequel to Olympus Has Fallen is a huge-budget debacle that looks like a direct-to-video toss-away. The action sequences are at best shootouts and at worst look like cutscenes from an old Playstation game—with added gay panic and racism. It’ll undoubtedly inspire some jingoistic fists to pump. In fact, it might have inadvertently given the Trump campaign a new slogan for foreign policy: “Go back to Fuckheadistan.” R. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Tigard.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

Fourteen years after the big fat wedding bells, Nia Vardalos and John Corbett are back, with a ton of familiar faces and Hollywood-style parental trails. Remember Joey Fatone of ’N Sync fame in the original? Neither did we. Screened after deadline. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Moreland, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard, St. Johns Theater.

The Revenant

A- In terms of pure spectacle and cin-

ematic beauty, Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant approaches masterpiece status. Fur trapper Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) finds his trapping party on the receiving end of a bear attack that leaves him barely clinging to life. R. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower, Tigard.


Risen goes big with the Jesus story, telling a swords-and-sandals epic about pagans solving the resurrection mystery. It focuses on the noncanon Roman detective Clavius, played by Joseph Fiennes (Shakespeare in Love), and his sidekick, played by Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), who’s got that clean-cut blond boy appearance you’d expect from a soldier in the Middle East. Jesus himself is played by Cliff Curtis, though he isn’t around much, which is kinda the point. Not screened for critics. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Division.


A- Spotlight inverts the usual compari-

son: It’s a movie that feels like prestige television. Specifically, it feels like The Wire. Recounting how a Boston Globe investigative team uncovered an epidemic of pederast priests abetted by the archdiocese, the 2016 Oscar winner for Best Picture borrows the rhythms of a propulsive TV procedural and resists the temptation for self-congratulation. R. AARON MESH. Academy, Laurelhurst, City Center, Fox Tower.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

A- If there’s one thing we know about Star Wars fans, it’s that they’re as resistant to change as any religious zealot. And so, the best thing that can be said about The Force Awakens is that it’s almost old-fashioned. PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.


B+ If you haven’t heard about TRAP

laws (targeted regulation of abortion providers), you must not have a uterus. Some conservative states’ legislatures are trying to roll back Roe v.


Wade by passing laws that are impossible for clinics to comply with. They frame these laws as “helping women,” but they make it harder for women to get legal abortions. As one anonymous interviewee in Trapped says: “People are going to find a way.” So, if you consider abortion murder, (a) you’re wrong and (b) should probably sit this one out unless you want to see your brethren act like dicks. If you’re of a different mind, decide whether or not to watch based on how angry you want to feel. Does the sight of Rick Perry taking away women’s rights incapacitate you with sadness, or does it fill you with righteous rage? If the former, don’t watch. If the latter, watch and be inspired to do something. NR. LIZZY ACKER. Cinema 21.



Kung Fu Panda 3

Where to Invade Next

B America hasn’t won a war in a while, Moore posits, so why not use the military nearly 60 percent of our taxes support to invade a country we can get something useful from? In Italy, the film’s first stop, he documents the average Italian’s time off. In Portugal, he talks to cops who no longer bust drug offenders. In France, nutritious and delectable school lunches. But arguments about “Americanness” fall flat out of the mouths of lefties like Moore, and he glosses over some of the existential issues that those other countries face. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Academy, Kiggins, Laurelhurst.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

C+ Tina Fey stars in this light comedy

about the war in Afghanistan, based on the book The Taliban Shuffle by Chicago Tribune writer Kim Barker, who was sent to cover Afghanistan with no prior experience in a war zone. Fey’s portrayal of Barker is the same as other characters you’re used to seeing from her, bumbling yet surprisingly competent, awkward in life, awkward in love. She’s funny for sure, but something just feels off with the 30 Rock-style humor interlaced with the horrific violence of Kabul circa 2004. Mix in some friend drama with Margot Robbie (The Wolf of Wall Street) and a really uncomfortable sexual encounter in which Bilbo Baggins puts his fingers in her mouth, and WTF ends up an awkward teenager of a movie, not sure who it is or why it feels the way it does. It’s occasionally brilliant but never seems comfortable. R. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Bridgeport, Fox Tower, Tigard.

Zoolander 2

D Ben Stiller’s sequel falters, as so many sequels do, when it tries to be little more than a repackaging of the original, with more celebrity cameos. Occasionally, there are inspired moments—the mid-’90s aqua vitae commercial—but it ends up as 100 minutes of a movie trying to be dumber than a brain fart. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Academy, Avalon, Valley.


B Leave it to Disney to sneak powerful, adult messages into a PG-rated movie. A modern-day Morocco, the Zootopia of the title is a metropolitan melting pot, where predator and prey live in perfect, fictional harmony. Every dynamic, doe-eyed character in this animated adventure brings laughs for the kids, and hope for adults that their children won’t adopt Donald Trump ideals. A small-town bunny with big dreams, Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin), escapes her carrot-farming future by becoming the first rabbit to join Zootopia’s police force. Little does she know, when predators mysteriously return to their ferocious, prey-hungry ways, her hometown’s small-mindedness multiplies throughout Zootopia faster than bunnies during breeding season. There’s a lesson under every hoof, inside every snout, and behind every bubbly buttocks. PG. AMY WOLFE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas.

For more Movies listings, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

A PLETHORA OF AMIGOS: Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and Martin Short.


Steve Coker just wanted to be Chevy Chase. It’s an understandable wish, especially for anybody who wore out a VHS tape of Fletch or Caddyshack. Chase was many things to many children in the ’80s. But for Coker, a Portland actor, Dusty Bottoms was the ultimate. To quote The Big Lebowski’s Walter Sobchak (himself quoting Theodore Herzl), “If you will it, Dude, it is no dream.” Now Coker, who once played Sobchak in a live Lebowski, is donning Chase’s iconic chaps for StageWorks Ink’s Three Amigos, Live! show, opening this weekend at the Clinton. We’ve seen a rash of live stage versions of cult movies lately. There is Point Break Live, the local Hot Gun take on Top Gun, the touring Evil Dead Live and a local adaptation of Manos: The Hands of Fate, which is largely considered the worst movie of all time. But this is different: a reverent tribute to a funny film, rather than a parody. Make no mistake, the 1986 movie, which stars Chase, Martin Short and Steve Martin as silent-film stars roped into saving a Mexican village from the evil El Guapo, isn’t the most revered entry in any of its leads’ filmographies (well, maybe Short’s). Ask folks too old for the film’s silly, slapstick shtick, and they’ll call it garbage. But to the right people, it’s a bona fide classic. There’s a singing bush, for God’s sake. That’s comic gold. Coker and his company are in the latter camp, transforming the movie into a minimalist musical packed with a robust live score. It’s what you should expect from a crew that includes Blitzen Trapper’s Brian Koch in a hilariously large sombrero. “We play the music super-serious. We play to our strengths,” says Coker, the fringe group’s artistic director. “Obviously we don’t spend money on props or sets.

All of our sets are the same: two boxes. We just move them around and let the performances really shine.” And shine they have. StageWorks didn’t exactly come out of the woodwork here, but it hasn’t been hogging the spotlight either. The group has been packing unlikely houses for a while, starting with the Jack London Bar for live readings of Coker’s Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves From Outer Space, then live adaptations of films like Xanadu and Flash Gordon, which is now a tradition where the company recruits kids from the School of Rock to rip through classic Queen songs. Amigos will get a similar treatment. The films’ musical numbers remain intact—including “My Little Buttercup” and a potential cameo by a certain scenestealing reptile—with on-point additions written by the likes of Freddie Fender and singin’ cowboy Gene Autry. Lest you worry the show will be anything short of reverent, take comfort. “We’re staying as true to the script as we can. We don’t over-rehearse, and we let the show develop,” says Coker. “It really starts to come to life when the audience shows up. We’ll ad lib, and there will be some audience participation. They can expect the pieces that are iconic, but for us to amp it up as well.” Chevy Chase might approve. Not the current Chevy Chase, who’s kind of an asshole. Amigos-era Chase. The one who counts, and in whose spirit StageWorks is performing. SEE IT: Three Amigos, Live! is at the Clinton Street Theater, stageworksink. com. Thursday-Saturday, March 31-April 9. ALSO SHOWING:

The Mission celebrates the start of baseball season with the Kevin Costner classic Bull Durham, not to be confused with the Costner classic Field of Dreams or the attempted Costner classic For Love of the Game. It seems the only thing Costner did more than make baseball movies was make shitty ones. Mission Theater. 8:30 pm Thursday, March 31. 5:45 pm Tuesday, April 5. Long before the crime masterpiece Heat and the pastel-hued coke freakouts of Miami Vice, Michael Mann hit the scene with Thief, a smaller-scale, ultra-stylized caper flick featuring James Caan at his best. And Jim Belushi, for some reason. Laurelhurst Theater. April 1-7. Film archivist Greg Hamilton dives into Trailerama, unspooling old-school movie trailers. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, April 4. For more ALSO SHOWING, see

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE -- AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 3:30, 7:00 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 3:00, 6:30, 10:00 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE 3D Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Wed Thu 12:10, 3:10, 6:20, 9:30 MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:25, 5:00, 7:40, 10:15 MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Wed-Thu 11:40, 2:50 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed Thu 12:50, 4:20 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:40, 7:10, 9:35 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:50 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed -Thu 1:00, 4:30 AAIC: LEONARDO DA VINCI Thu 7:00 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: MADAMA BUTTERFLY Sat 9:55

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 ZOOLANDER NO. 2 Wed -Thu 3:00, 7:10 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 4:55, 9:05 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Wed-Thu 1:05 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 1:50, 4:25, 7:00, 9:30

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 2:45, 7:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 BROOKLYN Wed-Thu 4:00, 7:00 ANOMALISA Wed -Thu 4:00, 8:15 TRAPPED Wed -Thu 6:30 CITY OF GOLD Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:15, 6:45, 9:00 MIDNIGHT SPECIAL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:15, 2:30, 4:00, 5:30, 7:00, 8:15, 9:30

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Wed THREE AMIGOS! ThuFri-Sat 2:00, 7:30 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00

Joy Cinema and Pub

106 N State St., 503-482-2135 THE LADY IN THE VAN Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:15 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed -Thu 1:00, 4:30, 8:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 6:45, 9:15 GATTACA Wed -Thu 9:30 45 YEARS Wed-Thu 4:15, 7:00 WHERE TO INVADE NEXT Wed -Thu 6:30 THE DANISH GIRL Wed -Thu 6:15 ROOM Wed 8:45 SISTERS Wed -Thu 9:00 I LIKE IT HERE INSIDE MY MIND DON’T WAKE ME THIS TIME Thu 9:30

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St. HOOSIERS Wed-Thu 5:45 BULL DURHAM Thu-Tue 5:45

Mt. Hood Theatre

401 E Powell Blvd., 503-665-0604 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 7:00, 9:45 WOODLAWN Wed -Thu 4:00

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:10, 7:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Wed-Thu 4:20, 7:00 ZOOTOPIA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 4:30, 7:00

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:00, 7:00

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 WHERE TO INVADE NEXT Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:00 KILL YOUR FRIENDS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:30 ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY: AS YOU LIKE IT Sat 10:00

Regal City Center Stadium 12

801 C St. BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 10:00 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE 3D Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:20, 6:40 MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 Wed-Thu 11:25, 1:50, 4:35, 7:20, 9:50 HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS Wed Thu 11:40, 2:40, 5:35, 8:35 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Wed-Thu 11:15,

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 2:20, 5:30, 8:45

Empirical Theatre at OMSI


Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 2:30, 6:00, 9:30 BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE 3D Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 12:00, 3:30, 7:00, 10:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Wed Thu 12:15, 3:15, 7:15, 10:10 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed Thu 11:15, 3:45, 6:45, 10:20 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 4:00, 7:30 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed -Thu 11:45, 9:45 8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474 MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 Wed-Thu 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:30

Hollywood Theatre

Valley Theater

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave. MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 Wed-Thu 12:00, 1:00, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6:10, 7:10, 8:30, 9:30 THE BRONZE Wed -Thu 9:00 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed -Thu 8:50 KNIGHT OF CUPS Wed-Thu 12:15, 3:15, 6:15 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 12:10, 4:10, 6:45, 9:45 ONLY YESTERDAY Wed-Thu 12:50, 3:50 THE WITCH Wed-Thu 7:30, 10:00 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:20, 9:50 HOW TO BE SINGLE Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 THE LADY IN THE VAN Wed-Thu 12:45, 3:20, 6:00, 8:40 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 12:20, 2:50, 6:20, 9:20 SPOTLIGHT Wed -Thu 12:40, 4:00, 6:50, 9:40

NW Film Center




St. Johns Theater

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 NATIONAL PARKS ADVENTURE Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun 1:00, 4:00 SECRET OCEAN Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun 3:00 WILD AFRICA 3D Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun 2:00 TORNADO ALLEY Wed 10:00 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed-Fri-SatSun 7:00 WALKING WITH DINOSAURS: PREHISTORIC PLANET 3D Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun 12:00 ADRENALINE RUSH: THE SCIENCE OF RISK Thu 11:00 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Thu-FriSat 5:00 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Thu-Sun 5:00 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Fri 5:00 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE WITCH Wed-Thu 7:15, 9:20 HAIL, CAESAR! Wed -Thu 6:45, 9:00 FEMBOTS IN LAS VEGAS Wed 7:30 TAKING ROOT: THE VISION OF WANGARI MAATHAI Thu 7:30


Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 MEI RÉN YÚ Wed -Thu 4:40 WHERE TO INVADE NEXT Wed-Thu 2:10, 6:45 ZOOLANDER NO. 2 Wed -Thu 5:10, 9:20 45 YEARS Wed -Thu 11:45, 7:25 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed -Thu 11:40, 2:25, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed Thu 12:00 SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD Wed -Thu 1:50, 9:30 9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 503-296-6843 ZOOLANDER NO. 2 Wed -Thu 6:00, 8:50 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:15, 8:10, 9:00 HOW TO BE SINGLE Wed -Thu 6:30 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Fri-Sat-Sun 1:20 THE BIG SHORT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 8:50

FILM SCREENINGS THIS WEEK�MARCH ���APRIL � All shows held at the Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Avenue Friday, April 1

Sunday, April 3

Wim Wenders, West Germany 1989

Wim Wenders, Germany/France/US/UK/Cuba 1999

7 pm Notebook on Cities and Clothes

4:30 pm Buena Vista Social Club

Saturday, April 2

7 pm Wim Wenders Short Films

Wim Wenders, Germany/France/Australia/US 1991

Spring Filmmaking Classes and Film Camp for Kids & Teens—ENROLL NOW!

5 pm Until the End of the World


Wim Wenders, West Germany 1967-69

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 EMBRACE OF THE SERPENT Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:30, 4:05, 6:30, 9:10 EYE IN THE SKY Wed-Thu 11:45, 12:20, 1:50, 2:40, 4:20, 5:10, 6:40, 7:15, 9:00, 9:35 HAIL, CAESAR! Wed-Thu 11:55, 2:10, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20 HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS Wed-Thu 11:50, 12:30, 2:20, 4:30, 5:00, 6:50, 7:30, 9:30 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 2:00, 8:50



11959 SW Pacific Highway, 971-245-6467 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed-Thu 7:00 MAN OR THE MONSTER Wed 9:30

Lake Theater & Cafe

2:05, 5:00, 8:10 MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Wed -Thu 11:50, 2:30, 5:20, 8:20 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed -Thu 1:10, 3:45, 6:25, 9:05 LONDON HAS FALLEN Wed-Thu 12:15, 2:50, 6:10, 9:30 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 11:05, 4:15, 6:50 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed-Thu 1:40, 9:25 DEADPOOL Wed -Thu 12:40, 3:30, 6:20, 8:55 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 11:10, 2:00, 4:55, 8:00 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:25, 6:30, 9:40

JAMES CAAN CAN: Thief screens at the Laurelhurst Theater on April 1-7.

Street P.21 Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016





$25 EIGHTHS OF: 1979 NW VAUGHN ST. SUITE B PORTLAND, OR 97209 HOURS: 11-7, 7 days a week


Just North of the Pearl District.




There sure are a lot of cannabis events these days. From the Cannabis Creative Conference to Weed the People, Oregon has hosted a huge number of cannabis-related gatherings. Portland alone hosted more than five business conferences in 2015, most with tickets over $250. Meanwhile, events like the Budtender’s Ball and WW’s own Best of Potland popped up around town. Those events, coming after adult use of pot became legal, ranged from sweaty fun to heatstricken misery. Meanwhile, most of the “business” conferences scheduled too many vape breaks to be taken seriously. Before you pay for another cannabis event, you need to ask yourself three questions.

Who’s putting the event together?

Cheech & Chong are powerful advocates for the plant, but they are by no means experts at growing it. But that dorm-room, Rasta version of stoners is the easiest route to take when assembling a soiree. If you want a deeper understanding of cannabis after the show, not every event is for you. Jeremy Plumb, master grower behind Newcleus Nurseries and Farma dispensary— he is partnering with WW on April 30 to present the world’s first weed event dedicated to natural cannabis, grown in soil and without mineral salt fertilizers or synthetic pesticides—is done partying and wants to head to the lab. “We have to pay less attention to old-school pot culture and look at the botany,” he says. “Pot conferences have the potential to be grad school for marijuana cultivation, but that requires us to focus on the science.” Check out social media to see who’s talking about a specific event. If Snoop is tweeting about it daily, that means it will be more of a commercialized party. On the other hand, a microbiologist stirring up buzz about a particular conference hints at a real opportunity to learn.

Murmurs P.6 52

Willamette Week MARCH 30, 2016

What’s its mission?

Many conferences blend into one long advertisement. All events need support, but you need to know which companies to trust before bringing

together legitimate speakers, vendors and entertainment. Make sure the people behind the show care about the integrity of the marijuana industry more than getting a few more clients. “There tends to be a suspicious connection between sponsors and winners,” says a master grower at Resin Ranchers, a top Portland farm that has sworn off competitions. “Cannabis cups seem more and more like signing up for Little League and everyone gets a trophy.” The grower pointed out that the original cannabis competition, the High Times Cannabis Cup, has a reputation for making as much money as possible from vendors and attendees. “My colleagues were quoted $15,000 to $40,000 to have a booth at the last High Times Cup in California,” he says. “I no longer have any desire to participate in marijuana events. It’s all about quick money.” Resin Ranchers isn’t the only company that feels this way. For the sake of consumers and the cannabis community, ask yourself whether an event is about profit or people before you buy a ticket.

What do I want to get out of this?

In the months since legalization, three event categories have emerged in Portland. First, there are the fun pot parties, where you can go into music-festival mode, put on face paint and give a few postlegalization high-fives between dabs. However, if you’re trying to recruit investors or get to the bottom of a cultivation question, you’ll need to be more selective. Second, there are competitions. Here, you’ll see some of the faces from the cannabis business community. And if the competition is well-run, you can learn from the buds of the best growers and their cultivation methods. Third, there are business conferences. Before you drop the money to go to one of these, crosscheck the speakers and sponsors. If there’s not a total overlap between them—that is, if there are speakers who are not sponsors and sponsors who are not speakers—you may actually learn something new and make connections with people who are as passionate about this plant’s potential as you.





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MARCH 30, 2016


503-445-2757 •

SPIRITUALITY IF THE OBSERVER changes the observed, what happens when we observe ourselves? Gurdjieff Group Jerry 503-651-3857




CLASSES AT BEE THINKING Meadmaking, Beeswax 101, Beekeeping, Honey Recipes, and more!!! Now Enrolling (877) 325-2221 Visit our retail space at 1551 SE Poplar.



Seeks Space in Food Pod 503.239.7142


FUNDRAISERS EXCEED ENTERPRISES, a nonprofit for people with disabilities, will host its annual fundraiser on April 30, 5-9 at the Oregon Convention Center to benefit the more than 200 adults and students that we serve.EE is selling Raffle tickets for a 55” TV. Funds collected will go toward the purchase of a new bus with a wheelchair lift. The winner will be announced at the Gala. Please visit to sign up and purchase tickets.








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BILL PEC FITNESS Personalized Training

McMenamins Portland locations are now hiring Line Cooks.



Hiring locations include The Ram’s Head, Blue Moon, White Eagle, Ringlers, Broadway and Bagdad Theater. Qualified applicants must be open to cooking in a high-volume and busy pub environment. Qualified applicants will have an open & flexible schedule including days/eve/ weekend/holiday availability, and a positive and professional demeanor. Previous kitchen experience is a plus, but we are willing to train the right applicant if you are eager to learn. Please apply online 24/7 at or pick up an application at any McMenamins location. Mail your complete application to: McMenamins attn: HR 430 N. Killingsworth St. Portland, OR 97217 or fax to: (503) 221-8749. Please no phone calls or emails to individual locations!!! EOE

LEGAL NOTICES SUMMONS KINGSLEY SAUNDERS VERSOZA.Petitioner. vs MAYLYN KANE, andORLANDO MARIO WARE, RespondentsTo: Maylvn Kane and Orlando Mario Ware:You arc hereby required to appear and defend the Petition for Paternity, Custody, and Parenting Time filed against you in the above-entitled cause within thirty (30) days from date of service of this summons upon you, and in case of your failure to do so. for want thereof, Petitioner will apply to the court for relief demanded in the Petition for Paternity, including an order awarding Petitioner custody and paternity recognizing him as the legal rather of La’ Ria May Ware, and an order of non-paternity against Mr. Orlando Mario Ware. NOTICE TO THE RESPONDENTS: READ THESE PAPERS CAREFULLY! You “appear” in this case the other side will win automatically. To “appear” you must file with the court a legal paper called a “motion” or “answer.” The “motion” or “answer” must be given to the court clerk or administrator within 30 days from the date of the first publication date of this Summons along with the required filing fee. It must be in proper form and have proof of service on thePetitioner’s attorney or. if the Petitioner does not have an attorney, proof of service upon the Petitioner. If you have any questions. you should see an attorney immediately. if you need help in finding an attorney, you may call the Oregon State Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service at (503) 684-3763 or toll-free in Oregon at (800) 452-7636. In addition. you have been ordered by the court to appear at Multnomah County Courthouse on -May 19, 2016 to show cause why DNA testing in this case should not be ordered, you are also required to appear at 9:00 AM at Multnomah CountyCourthouse for case assignment on the show cause on May 18, 2016. A default order against you recognizing Kingsley Versoza as La’ Ria’s biological Father shall be sought if you fail to appear. Liza Langford; OSB 882509 0324 SW Abernathy Street Portland. Oregon 97239 (503) 274ó9070 Published March 9, 16, 23 and 30, 201

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TREE SERVICES STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077


Team Mueller Congrats Team Mueller on $6,000,000 Sale of 150 acres in Yamhill County

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Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 30, 2016




503-445-2757 •



by Matt Jones

“I Fold”–find your way around the puzzle.

the Cuckoo’s Nest” author Ken 62 Radiohead title followed by the lyric “Arrest this man” 65 ___-de-France 66 ___ a high note (finish well) 67 Eugene of travel guide fame 68 100% 69 Stopwatch button 70 Banjo ridges 71 Item hidden in the four theme entries


Try FREE: 503-416-7098 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español 18+

Strike a LiveMatch!

Across 1 Progressive spokesperson 4 Stanley of “Julie & Julia” 9 Grows light 14 “Hamilton” creator/ star ___-Manuel Miranda 15 Take ___ for the worse 16 Novel on an iPad, e.g. 17 Actress Poehler 18 Sleepover of sorts 20 Louis or Lewis, e.g. 22 Former Boston

Symphony director Seiji 23 Actor Penn of the “Harold & Kumar” films 24 Gear sprocket 26 Deprive of strength 28 Newsroom honchos 32 “Talk ___” (Pedro Almodovar film) 33 Fashion designer and daughter of a noted painter 37 ___Pen (injector for allergic reactions) 38 1978 Peace

Nobelist Anwar 39 Ted ___ and the Pharmacists 42 Study involving charged particles and fluids 47 “Check,” in poker 49 Stick at a table 50 Like much of the analysis on “Marketplace” 54 Nestle’s ___-Caps 55 Letters on Windy City trains 56 Hawaiian actor Jason who’s set to play Aquaman 58 “One Flew Over

Down 1 “Love handles” material 2 One might pick you up at an airport 3 Multicolored agate 4 Where many brews are on draft 5 “Respect for Acting” writer Hagen 6 Stephen King novel about a dog 7 Hot trend 8 “Cold Mountain” hero W. P. ___ 9 Leaves 10 Atty.’s organization 11 Office fixture? 12 Make marginal markings 13 Walter’s wife on “Breaking Bad” 19 Leave astonished 21 Delta follower, in the NATO alphabet 25 Blades cut by blades 27 Parade columnist Marilyn ___ Savant 28 Dr. Zaius, e.g. 29 It’s no deep slumber 30 Props for driving

instructors 31 “V.1.A.G.R.a 4 FR33!”, perhaps 34 Film noir actress Lupino 35 “Li’l Abner” creator Al 36 Companion of Aramis and Porthos 40 Coin portraying Louis XIV 41 Suffix for sugars, in chemistry 43 Deighton who wrote the “Hook, Line and Sinker” trilogy 44 Cartoon hero with antennae 45 Place to get lost, per Neil Simon 46 Gin-flavoring fruit 47 One of a makingout couple 48 Number at the pump 51 Unruly hairdo 52 “See ya!” 53 Peach, burgundy, or chocolate, e.g. 57 Assistant 59 Thailand, once 60 Tuneful Fitzgerald 61 Website for restaurant reviews 63 Bartender to Homer 64 Infirmary bed

last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ773.


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Classified 54

Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 30, 2016


matt plambeck

503-445-2757 • ©2016 Rob Brezsny

Week of March 31

BACK COVER continued... TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-2757

ARIES (March 21-April 19) According to my astrological analysis, you would benefit profoundly from taking a ride in a jet fighter plane 70,000 feet above the earth. In fact, I think you really need to experience weightlessness as you soar faster than the speed of sound. Luckily, there’s an organization, MiGFlug (, that can provide you with this healing thrill. (I just hope you can afford the $18,000 price tag.) APRIL FOOL! I do in fact think you should treat yourself to unprecedented thrills and transcendent adventures. But I bet you can accomplish that without being quite so extravagant. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages,” says philosopher Alain de Botton. If that’s true, Taurus, you must be on the verge of becoming very interesting. Metaphorically speaking, you’re not just rattling the bars of your cage. You’re also smacking your tin cup against the bars and trying to saw through them with your plastic knife. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not literally in a prison cell. And I got a bit carried away with the metaphor. But there is a grain of truth to what I said. You are getting close to breaking free of at least some of your mind-forged manacles. And it’s making you more attractive and intriguing. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) If I had to decide what natural phenomenon you most closely resemble right now, I’d consider comparing you to a warm, restless breeze or a busily playful dolphin. But my first choice would be the mushrooms known as Schizophyllum commune. They’re highly adaptable: able to go dormant when the weather’s dry and spring to life when rain comes. They really get around, too, making their homes on every continent except Antarctica. But the main reason I’d link you with them is that they come in over 28,000 different sexes. Their versatility is unprecedented. APRIL FOOL! I exaggerated a bit. It’s true that these days you’re polymorphous and multifaceted and well-rounded. But you’re probably not capable of expressing 28,000 varieties of anything. CANCER (June 21-July 22) “Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting,” warns Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. If that’s true, why bother? Why expend all your precious yearning if the net result won’t even satisfy your yearning?! That’s why I advise you to ABANDON YOUR BELOVED PLANS! Save your energy for trivial wishes. That way you won’t be disappointed when they are fulfilled in unanticipated ways. APRIL FOOL! I was messing with you. It’s true that what you want won’t arrive in the form you’re expecting. But I bet the result will be even better than what you expected. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You’re due to make a pilgrimage, aren’t you? It might be time to shave your head, sell your possessions, and head out on a long trek to a holy place where you can get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet. APRIL FOOL! I was kidding about the head-shaving and possessions-dumping. On the other hand, there might be value in embarking on a less melodramatic pilgrimage. I think you’re ready to seek radical bliss of a higher order -- and get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Are you ready to fight the monster? Do you have the courage and strength and stamina and guile to overcome the ugly beast that’s blocking the path to the treasure? If not, turn around and head back to your comfort zone until you’re better prepared. APRIL FOOL! I lied. There is a monster, but it’s not the literal embodiment of a beastly adversary. Rather, it’s inside you. It’s an unripe part of yourself that needs to be taught and tamed and cared for. Until you develop a better relationship with it, it will just keep testing you. (P.S. Now would be a good time to develop a better relationship with it.) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Your advice for the near future comes from poet Stephen Dunn. “If the Devil sits down,” he says, “offer companionship, tell her you’ve always admired her magnificent, false moves.” I think that’s an excellent plan, Libra! Maybe you’ll even be lucky enough to make the

acquaintance of many different devils with a wide variety of magnificent, false moves. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I think you should avoid contact with all devils, no matter how enticing they might be. Now is a key time to surround yourself with positive influences. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In 1841, a British medical journal prescribed the following remedy for the common cold: “Nail a hat on the wall near the foot of your bed, then retire to that bed, and drink spirits until you see two hats.” My expert astrological analysis reveals that this treatment is likely to cure not just the sniffles, but also any other discomforts you’re suffering from, whether physical or emotional or spiritual. So I hope you own a hat, hammer, and nails. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The method I suggested probably won’t help alleviate what ails you. But here’s a strategy that might: Get rid of anything that’s superfluous, rotten, outdated, or burdensome. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) To begin your oracle, I’ll borrow the words of author Ray Bradbury: “May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days, and out of that love, remake a world.” I have reason to believe that this optimistic projection has a good chance of coming true for you. Imagine it, Sagittarius: daily swoons of delight and rapture from now until the year 2071. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. It would be foolish to predict that you’ll be giddy with amorous feelings nonstop for the next 54 years and 10 months. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for you to expect a lot of that sweet stuff over the course of the next three weeks. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “I am tired of being brave,” groaned Anne Sexton in one of her poems. “I’m sick of following my dreams,” moaned comedian Mitch Hedberg, adding, “I’m just going to ask my dreams where they’re going and hook up with them later.” In my opinion, Capricorn, you have every right to unleash grumbles similar to Hedberg’s and Sexton’s. APRIL FOOL! The advice I just gave you is only half-correct. It’s true that you need and deserve a respite from your earnest struggles. Now is indeed a good time to take a break so you can recharge your spiritual batteries. But don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In 1991, hikers in the Italian Alps discovered the wellpreserved corpse of a Bronze Age hunter. Buried in the frigid terrain, the man who came to be known as Otzi the Iceman had been there for 5,000 years. Soon the museum that claimed his body began receiving inquiries from women who wanted to be impregnated with Otzi’s sperm. I think this is an apt metaphor for you, Aquarius. Consider the possibility that you might benefit from being fertilized by an influence from long ago. APRIL FOOL! I was just messing with you. It’s true you can generate good mojo by engaging with inspirational influences from the past. But I’d never urge you to be guided by a vulgar metaphor related to Otzi’s sperm. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Caligula was an eccentric Roman emperor who had a physical resemblance to a goat. He was sensitive about it. That’s why he made it illegal for anyone to refer to goats in his company. I mention this, Pisces, because I’d like to propose a list of words you should forbid to be used in your presence during the coming weeks: “money,” “cash,” “finances,” “loot,” “savings,” or “investments.” Why? Because I’m afraid it would be distracting, even confusing or embarrassing, for you to think about these sore subjects right now. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, now is a perfect time for you to be focused on getting richer quicker.

Homework What conditions would you need to feel like you were living in paradise? Testify:

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check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 30, 2016





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42 22 willamette week, march 30, 2016  
42 22 willamette week, march 30, 2016