Page 1



P. 12

P. 17



Lawmakers are talking about naming a state dog. Here’s what else Oregon needs to fix. PAGE 7



VOL 42/14 2.3.2016


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016





You know what’s hot in Tualatin? Lizzy Acker and Crocs. 4 Terrorists wear turbans, not cowboy hats, says a terrorist. 6 Lewis and Clark ate about 200 dogs while making their way to and from Oregon. 7

Juvenile delinquents, rejoice! There may soon be a law prohibiting mall cops from looking and acting too much like real cops. 10


Our county sheriff produced a

30-page glossy magazine about his accomplishments. 12 Damian Lillard now has his own custom roller skates. 16

There is a 150-year-old slang term for anyone who is not a native-born Portlander. 17 If you want to combat tyranny and systematic oppression with values inherited from wise Martian elders, there is a place. 44


Good Dog by Erin Maala.

LaVoy Finicum got shot. Here’s the video.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Madeline Luce Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Enid Spitz Editorial Interns Peter D’Auria, Karina Buggy, Sophia June CONTRIBUTORS Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Production Interns Bridget Baker, Tricia Hipps, Paige Ta

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference.

Willamette Week is published weekly by

Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law.

Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115

City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Iris Meyers Display Account Executives Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Bruce Greif, Rich Hunter, Kyle Owens, Matt Plambeck, Sharri Regan Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Coordinator Alie Kilts COMMUNITY OUTREACH Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit Manager Shawn Wolf AR/Credit Assistant Kristina Woodard Accounting Assistant Tristan Burman Associate Publisher Jane Smith

MUSICFESTNW Operations Director Matt Manza General Manager Jane Smith

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available.

Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. Association of Alternative Newsmedia. This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Shoes! What fascinating articles on that evernecessary, seemingly limitless fashion accessory most of us can’t resist trying on. After three weekends straight of trying to find mildly comfortable and affordable heels, your feature story [“Five Feet,” WW, Jan. 27, 2016] was poetic prose. Needless to say, Lizzy Acker, I love the sexy look as much as your article. (Please note: I happily wear Crocs at my day job.) Way to work it at walking, Willamette Week! Thanks to you, I now know where to shop for new soles. —Jennifer Shuford, Tualatin It’s a nice list [“Shoe Spots,” WW, Jan. 27, 2016], but for actual sneaker culture, there are more nationally famous shops on Fairfax and La Brea avenues in L.A. than in all of Portland. Anyone who knew anything about this subject would chuckle at PDX being “Sneakertown.” —Bert Sperling


The Oregon Liquor Control Commission’s heavy hand of regulation is ultimately about the attempt to control the peaceful, honest and voluntary behavior of responsible business owners and individuals [“Cannaball and Chain,” WW, Jan. 27, 2016]. Handing out violations for such offenses as failure to use wristbands to prevent overcrowding and giving people jobs without collecting “documentation” is clear evidence of a campaign to shut down Refuge PDX. —“Juan F.”


I’m pretty pissed off at Portland’s spandex-wearing cyclists. I was crossing the Broadway Bridge when one nearly ran me over, screaming insults because I didn’t get out of his way. Can I sue if they knock me into the river? Who has the right of way? —Mr. I Hate Spandex

Ah, spandexers, the SUVs of cycling. Call me old-fashioned, but I say if you need a streamlined bodysuit to ride your bike because the air itself isn’t getting out your way fast enough, you’re in too much of a hurry to be cycling. Maybe you should call the people at whatever super-important place you need to be and have them send a helicopter. In any case, Hater, feel free to keep on hating. As a pedestrian, you have the right of way in virtually every interaction you might have with a bicycle, either on the sidewalk or on a multi-use Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


“That limitless fashion accessory most of us can’t resist trying on.”

I feel as if Oregon could make itself known to the world for other things, like becoming a leader on carbon pricing or other climate policies. But maybe that’s hopelessly idealistic. —“BenDJduck”


I’m so glad our tax dollars are so well spent putting away such despicable, hardened criminals as [Refuge PDX owner] Maria Toth. Why can’t beer and bud be sold at the same event? They are both recreational drugs that are legal to those over 21. —“HiMom!” This would be a regressive tax on the poor and middle class [“Viking Up Taxes,” WW, Jan. 27, 2016]. The ultra-rich, who get most or all of their money from capital gains, don’t have the same payroll-tax burden. Portland State University President Wim Wiewel doesn’t dare put forth a measure to make them pay for the education of the stiffs who make them rich. —“Saynt”

We’ve been stung in the past, by Portland Public Schools for one, when promises about how new public money would be used were broken. I definitely would need more specificity about how the money would be used, and I’d want to know that people I trust were closely monitoring expenditures. —“FWIW”


Last week’s story “Cannaball and Chain” mistakenly omitted the first name of OLCC spokeswoman Christie Scott. In last week’s story on the history of Air Jordans (“30 for 30”), an incorrect image of the Air Jordan XXII, which came out in 2007, was published. WW regrets the errors. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

path. You’re encouraged to keep to the right, but bikes have to stop even if you throw yourself directly under their wheels. Pity the poor cyclist—forced to share the road with rudderless, unpredictable scofflaws, he knows all too well that if he hits one, it’ll be his fault no matter how irresponsibly the other party was behaving. As a motorist, of course, I can only imagine what that must feel like. As to whether you can sue the guy—this is America; sue the river if you want. That said, your chances of a fat insurance settlement are middling at best: As of this writing, Americans still can’t buy automobile-style liability insurance for bikes. (Some renter’s and homeowner’s policies will cover you for mayhem you may inflict while on a bike; check with your carrier.) Incidentally, for those keeping score at home, this column has now taken sides with cars against trucks, with bicycles against cars, and with pedestrians against bicyclists. Next week: a put-upon turtle, desperate to cross the sidewalk. Don’t miss it! QUESTIONS? Send them to

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


NEWS MURMURS Oregonian Yanks Comic Strip Mocking Militants


Don’t look for any #YallQaeda jokes in the funny pages in the wake of Ammon Bundy’s arrest. For three days last week, The Oregonian pulled installments of the syndicated comic strip Non Sequitur that mocked the militants who occupied Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Eastern Oregon. In the print editions Jan. 28-30, Non Sequitur strips were replaced with older, previously run ones. The


PERFECT SPREAD We’re customizing guac for you on Sat, 2/6 from 11-5–JOIN US!


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

censored cartoons depict a band of gun-toting snowmen occupying a wildlife preserve outhouse. In the Jan. 29 strip, the group’s leader objects to being labeled a terrorist, saying, “Terrorists wear a turban, not a cowboy hat.” Wiley Miller, the Maine cartoonist who draws Non Sequitur, was surprised to learn of the paper’s decision. “This is the first I’ve heard about it,” Miller tells WW. “Not controversial to my knowledge.” Oregonian editor Mark Katches says the paper pulled the strips after the killing of LaVoy Finicum. “The strip, which had been making fun of such groups, seemed jarring and in poor taste given that someone now was dead,” Katches says. “That decision has yielded a grand total of two reader complaints.”

Lawmakers Seek Children’s Taxing District The 2016 ballot will be loaded with new tax measures (“Billion-Dollar Ballots,” WW, Jan. 13, 2016). The legislative session that started Feb. 1 includes a bill that could add another tax: a permanent taxing


district for children. Oregon already has special taxing districts to fund libraries, transit and ports. Senate Bill 1545, co-sponsored by Sen. Chuck Riley (D-Hillsboro) and Reps. Alissa Keny-Guyer (D-Portland) and Julie Parrish (R-West Linn), would allow the creation of a 27th type of taxing district, for kids. Portland City Commissioner Dan Saltzman created the Portland Children’s Levy, a property tax voters have renewed every five years since 2002 to raise money for child-abuse prevention, foster care, early education and hunger prevention. The bill would allow the city to seek to make the levy a permanent tax. Brendan Finn, chief of staff to Saltzman, says his boss backs the bill. “He’s been a long advocate,” Finn says.

Moda Health Plastered on City Skyline Until 2023 The Portland insurer Moda Health is imploding under the weight of heavy losses. But the Portland Trail Blazers aren’t blowing up the multimillion-dollar deal they inked in 2013 to change the name of the Rose Garden arena to Moda Center. The Oregonian has detailed troubling financial news about Moda Health since October, most recently reporting that Moda is now under state supervision because of its perilous situation. The company’s naming rights to the basketball arena extend to 2023, however. And the Blazers claim the name is here to stay. “The Trail Blazers’ partnership with Moda Inc., which includes Moda Health and other subsidiaries, remains strong,” the team tells WW in a statement. “We don’t anticipate any changes in that partnership following the recent news.”




n Jan. 14, an Oregon House committee met in Salem for a public hearing because Rep. Vic Gilliam (R-Silverton) wanted to name the Newfoundland the state dog. Gilliam’s constituents argued the Newfoundland should be Oregon’s official pooch because explorer Meriwether Lewis brought a Newfie named Seaman on his expedition west. For 17 minutes, nine Oregon elected officials discussed the question: Who’s a good dog? “On the Lewis and Clark Trail, about 200 dogs were actually eaten [except] one: the Newfoundland,” said Rep. Dan Rayfield (D-Corvallis). “Not only are we recognizing history with something like this, we’re also recognizing all those dogs that didn’t make it back home.” The hearing hasn’t led to a bill. (Gilliam had already reached his limit of bills to sponsor.) But the discussion is a telling example of how the Oregon Legislature’s “short session” is anything but. The short session, held for 35 days every other year, was designed for balancing the budget and making minor adjustments to state law. But it has grown faster than Mark Zuckerberg’s bank balance—into a showcase for major policy cooked up fast.




That’s partly because the prospect of activist-backed ballot measures in November is pressuring lawmakers and Gov. Kate Brown to find compromises now. It’s also because Democrats—facing no resistance from an impotent GOP—are free to chase their policy goals. All of them. The 2016 session, which opened Feb. 1, will feature major legislation on the minimum wage, affordable housing and the state’s broken foster care system. It also includes dozens of bills on less pressing issues—from artificial beaver dams to sky lanterns. The Legislature’s frantic multitasking offers WW an opportunity to debut a new way of bringing you the news. Each week, before diving into the indepth stories you’ve come to expect from WW, we’ll offer you a page of charts, numbers and quotes to help you better understand the week’s news. The short session? That takes five pages. Here’s our guide to the fights and challenges facing Oregon—the problems that naming a state dog won’t fix.


9,000 That’s how many state contractors, paid by Oregon, actually owe money to Oregon. That number, in a September report by state auditor Gary Blackmer, caught the eye of state Rep. Brad Witt (D-Clatskanie). In House Bill 4065, Witt asks the state to offset those debts against payments coming from the state. That’s a great idea, but not exactly novel—40 states already do so and previous audits have suggested Oregon adopt the practice.

lineup Oregon legislators haven’t yet acted on a proposal from canine enthusiast Becky Davis of Hubbard, Ore., to name the Newfoundland as Oregon’s state dog. Should they take the bone, the Newfie is the obvious candidate. But Oregon history offers plenty of good, good dogs.


Great Dogs in Oregon History

SEAMAN Oregon’s founding dog was a Newfoundland named Seaman, companion to Meriwether Lewis as he traversed North America with William Clark. Seaman reached the Pacific Ocean—and, perhaps more importantly, avoided the fate of the other 200 or so dogs that accompanied the Corps of Discovery. They became dinner.

TESSA There was a third central character in the drama that unfolded around former Gov. John Kitzhaber: Oregon first lady Cylvia Hayes’ Rhodesian ridgeback, Tessa. Hayes got state workers to take care of Tessa, and when Hayes traveled to Seattle in August 2013, she booked a spendy hotel that catered to dogs—at taxpayer expense.

DUFFY When Vietnam War protesters interrupted an event in May 1971 with high-school students, then-Gov. Tom McCall told them they had the manners “of dogs.” He later apologized—not to the protesters but to his terrier, Duffy. Duffy then issued a statement. “You would be intrigued to know,” Duffy remarked, “that my master wishes he had it all to do over again. Given the same boorishness he would tell the boors: ‘You have the manners of jackals.’”



A collie named Bobbie grabbed headlines across the country in 1924 after he walked about 2,500 miles to Silverton from Wolcott, Ind., where he had been lost by his Oregon master, G.F. Brazier. “When interviewed,” an April 6, 1924, story in The Oregonian read, “Bobbie was somewhat reluctant to say anything about his adventures.”

A dog version of Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, Disney’s Benji the Hunted, was filmed in 1986 at Oregon locations, including Astoria and Newport. It features a mixed-breed dog wandering Oregon’s wilderness, saving the lives of cougar cubs from a nasty wolf. The film met with mixed reviews.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



one question


Do You Support Our Oregon’s Tax Measures?

Earnings and Rents in the Portland Metro Area

Median Renter Income


Average Apartment Rent

No single issue casts a larger shadow over the legislative session than the specter of November ballot measures, backed by labor-funded advocacy group Our Oregon, to raise taxes on businesses whose Oregon sales exceed $25 million a year. The tax measures would raise an estimated $2.5 billion a year to supplement Oregon’s general fund. The plan has unions and the business lobby on a crash course that state leaders seem powerless to prevent. We asked the three leading candidates for Portland mayor: Do you support the Our Oregon proposal to increase the corporate minimum tax on big businesses?



Sarah Iannarone, program manager at Portland State University: Won’t say. “I’ll have to look into that more. I haven’t made a decision on that yet.”

Multnomah County Commissioner Jules Bailey: Yes. “As an economist and father of a young child, I’ve wrestled with this proposal for some time. I have even expressed reservations in the past. But I have come to the conclusion that we must act to improve our schools—no matter what. Oregon has waited too long for real revenue that provides every child the high-quality education they need to grow, thrive and find a good-paying job.”

$639 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010


2012 2013 2014 2015

PORTLAND’S RENT SPIKE Lawmakers will consider a swath of protections for Oregon renters this session. That’s in part because wages aren’t keeping up with the price of rent. Average apartment rent has skyrocketed—going up 63 percent— in the seven-county Portland metro area in the past nine years, while renters’ median income has increased at about half that rate: 39 percent. (By contrast, home prices have risen just 16 percent over the same period while homeowners’ earnings are up 22 percent.)

Oregon Treasurer Ted Wheeler: Leaning no. “I still hope we can find a way to raise the needed revenue without this fight. Oregonians expect collaborative problem solving - not millions spent on attack ads. If an agreement is still possible, I do not think it is helpful for statewide elected officials to start picking sides.”


Inclusionary Zoning If at first you don’t provide affordable housing, try, try again. Senate Bill 1533 is the fourth attempt in four years by state lawmakers to overturn Oregon’s ban on inclusionary zoning (this time, they’re calling it “inclusionary housing”). Inclusionary zoning laws allow local jurisdictions, like the city of Portland, to require developers to build a certain number of affordable housing units in new projects. Oregon is one of just two states (the other is Texas) to bar cities from using this tool to compel developers to build cheaper units. Here’s the timeline of futility. 1999: Gov. John Kitzhaber signs into law a bill, backed by the Oregon Home Builders Association, that blocks cities, counties and regional governments like Metro from enacting inclusionary zoning.


Feb. 11, 2013: State Rep. Jeff Reardon (D-Happy Valley) introduces House Bill 2890 to repeal Oregon’s inclusionary zoning ban. Portland City Hall doesn’t back the bill, which never even makes it to a committee vote.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

2014: Oregon House Speaker Tina Kotek (D-North Portland) convenes a work group to study inclusionary zoning and other affordablehousing issues. Summer 2014: The work group drops the idea when it can’t reach a consensus.

January 2015: Leaders at Portland City Hall, including Mayor Charlie Hales (a former lobbyist for the Oregon Home Builders Association), pledge their support to efforts to overturn the ban.

Jan. 12, 2015: State Rep. Jennifer Williamson (D-Portland) introduces House Bill 2564.

April 14, 2015: HB 2564 passes in the House on a partisan vote of 34-25. (The bill, as passed, would have lifted the pre-emption on inclusionary zoning, but it would have applied only to projects with homes for sale, not apartments.)

July 6, 2015: HB 2564 dies in Senate committee without ever making it to the Senate floor for a vote.

Jan. 7, 2016: Sen. Michael Dembrow (D-Portland) vows to try again with Senate Bill 1533.


F I R S T- P E R S O N A C C O U N T

What It’s Like to Have a Family Member Die Horribly

Andrew was my son. He was at work and passed away from using a 5-gallon bucket in back of a pickup—uh, enclosed box truck—that his boss told him to use because they didn’t supply an outhouse. Andrew was the youngest of my kids. I have three kids. He was my baby, and my whole life has changed because he’s not here. It’s fallen apart. Andrew’s family has fallen apart. The house that they were working on had seven bathrooms in it. And

it had a couple outbuildings that had bathrooms in them. It was pretty simple. Let my son go to the bathroom, and he would have come home that day. When I found out there was a cap on [the award], I was appalled. Totally appalled. Five hundred thousand dollars is not enough to make them think, “Wow, what did I do?” When you have a business, you’re responsible for those people who work for you.



Same State, Different Wages Gov. Kate Brown released a revised proposal Jan. 29 for raising the minimum wage from its current level of $9.25 an hour. After intense negotiations with labor and business interests, Brown proposed increasing the wage July 1, 2016, six months earlier than she’d previously proposed, and phasing in a two-tiered system that separates places inside Portland’s urban growth boundary from the rest of the state. By July 2018, the Portland wage will be $1.25 higher than the rural wage, and the two will then rise in lockstep until 2022.

—Sen. Betsy Johnson (D-Scappoose), who is proposing a Legislative Committee on Accountability, with subpoena power to independently investigate state agencies. Introducing Senate Bill 1577, Johnson cited the state’s failure to spot breakdowns in the Department of Human Services until WW reported on widespread neglect and abuse at a Portland foster care provider.





Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

S O U R C E : O F F I C E O F G O V. K AT E B R O W N



How much is a human life worth? The state of Oregon says it’s never worth more than $500,000. That’s the 1987 cap state law places on awards in wrongful death lawsuits. Thirteen other states have no such cap. House Bill 4136 seeks to raise Oregon’s cap to $1.5 million. Why would a family want the higher figure? Consider the case of 22-year-old Andrew Lane, a roofer who died in 2014 in Clackamas County from carbon monoxide poisoning after being told to use a 5-gallon bucket as a toilet in the back of an enclosed truck. Here’s what Lane’s mother, Tina Lane, said about his death, which occurred when an improperly vented machine filled the truck with carbon monoxide.

“Our clean reputation is built on smiles and a deliberate unwillingness to look below the surface. We pretend corruption doesn’t exist, and then declare ourselves a national model for the rest of the country.”



Pot Pop Quiz


OREGON: Ranks No. 43

in rate of children placed in foster care. 14 children per 1,000.

in rate of children placed in foster care. 4 children per 1,000.


No. 50 in rate of children placed in foster care. 21 children per 1,000.

W H E R E W E ’ R E AT


Last year, WW reported on allegations of neglect and fraud at Portland foster care provider Give Us This Day. With Senate Bill 1515, lawmakers led by state Sen. Sara Gelser (D-Corvallis) are aiming for a total makeover of the Department of Human Services, which

funds and regulates foster care. Ensuring children’s safety is paramount in every state—but it’s particularly important in Oregon, which federal statistics show places children in foster care at a rate that is 50 percent above the national average.

Oh, you didn’t know there was going to be a test? Too bad, stoners! The marijuana bills this legislative session are mainly intended to clean up loose ends and loopholes from the 2015 session, which were mainly intended to clean up loose ends and loopholes from the 2014 ballot measure that legalized recreational weed. Get the answers right and maybe we won’t have any pot bills in the next session. (Fat chance.)


TRUE OR FALSE? House Bill 420 would help banks to do business with marijuana producers, processors, wholesalers, retailers and researchers. Answer: False State Rep. Tobias Read (D-Beaverton), who’s running for state treasurer, introduced such a bill. But it’s the much-harder-to-remember House Bill 4094.


Most Bizarre Bills

HOUSE BILL 4132 SPECIFIES THAT RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA RETAILERS WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DO WHAT? A. Collect sales tax from any recreational buyer. B. Collect sales tax from any recreational buyer or holder of a medicalmarijuana card. C. Collect sales tax from any holder of a medical marijuana card.


Answer: C The rule also applies to caretakers. I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y K I M H E R B S T





Sponsored by Rep. Chris Gorsek (D-Troutdale)

Sponsored by Rep. David Gomberg (D-Central Coast)

Bans security guards from wearing badges or driving patrol cars that would cause a “reasonable person” to think they were actual police officers. It’s unclear what reasonable person is currently making that mistake.

Bars the release of sky lanterns—the candle-powered paper lanterns often associated with Chinese New Year celebrations—anywhere in the state, at the risk of a $2,000 fine.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

SENATE BILL 1565 SUBSIDIZED WINE Sponsored by Sen. Brian Boquist (R-Dallas) Provides a five-year property tax break for any new industrial property costing $1 million or more. Originally proposed in 2015 to exempt the new Willamette Valley Vineyards tasting room, this giveaway contains no requirements for job creation.




Artificial Beaver Dams

S O U R C E : O F F I C E O F R E P. J E N N I F E R W I L L I A M S O N


Scott Campbell gives a damn about dams. For more than a decade, the former owner of Banfield Pet Hospital has been building artificial beaver dams to restore natural habitat and boost hay production on Silvies Valley Ranch, his 140,000 acres of high desert in Grant County. Campbell’s dams ran afoul of Oregon law in part because they blocked endangered redband trout’s migratory passage upstream. Now he’s trying to change the law. Portlanders don’t think about artificial beaver dams much, but it turns out there’s more than one kind. Senate Bill 1518 would legalize several. Here’s the difference between what Campbell wants and what environmentalists want to limit him to.


1. Posts The artificial beaver dams favored by enviros feature a series of wooden posts vertically positioned across a stream with wood woven between them—to emulate the dam-building style of the beaver. The broader definition favored by Campbell allows dams made of dirt and rocks. 2. Small pools and plants Small dams create healthy streams by forming pools of water for fish to inhabit during the hot, dry summer months as well as raising the water table to help trees and plants grow. The dirt dams block the passage of fish. 3. Actual beavers Small dams made with woven wood could attract beavers to return. Large earthen dams won’t lure any beavers, and require human upkeep.






Estimated average turnaround time for an Oregon State Police background check that is flagged for further review.

Time after which a gun sale may be completed even if the background check isn’t finished.

The Charleston Loophole White supremacist Dylann Roof, who slaughtered nine churchgoers at a Bible study in Charleston, S.C., last year, was allowed to buy a .45-caliber handgun—legally—even though a background check on him was not completed. That’s because in most states, including Oregon, gun sales can legally be made even if the buyer has been flagged for further review and that review has not been completed. House Bill 4147, sponsored by

Majority Leader Jennifer Williamson (D-Portland), would close what’s become known as “the Charleston loophole.” Lawmakers don’t know how many guns were sold last year without a complete background check. The law currently allows the sale to go through after three days. That’s not nearly enough time for the Oregon State Police to finish a background check.

Power can shift quickly in the Capitol. The 2015 legislative session saw Gov. Kate Brown try to make a massive transportation-funding deal—which crumbled along with her carbon emissions standards. Here’s who enters Salem with and without momentum.

WINNERS ORGANIZED LABOR Labor’s November ballot measure—including $5 billion in corporate taxes— has shown lawmakers and business interests who runs this state.

LOSERS LANDLORDS AND REAL-ESTATE DEVELOPERS More than a dozen bills aim to alleviate the rental crunch. Property owners and builders will be expected to foot the bill.



She needs something to run on in November. An expected deal to increase the minimum wage would give her that win.

They don’t want a higher minimum wage or new environmental regulations—and they hoped in vain for a transportation package.



They landed two big bills on the agenda: one to revise carbon emissions goals, and another to exchange coal power for renewable energy.

Senate Bill 1557 ratifies the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife decision to remove the state’s 85 gray wolves from the endangered species list.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016




The top-ranking woman in the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office has filed a notice of her intent to sue Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton, alleging Staton created a “hostile work environment” with his behavior toward her and his personal insults toward other local officials. The tort claim, filed by Chief Deputy Linda Yankee on Jan. 29, includes potentially explosive allegations about Staton’s sexually charged references to high-level county officials—including Multnomah County District Attorney Rod Underhill, Multnomah County Circuit Court Presiding Judge Nan Waller, County Attorney Jenny Madkour, and Nancy Bennett, chief of staff to county Chairwoman Deborah Kafoury. Yankee claims that Staton created a hostile work environment through “offensive sexual comments and derogatory comments about women.” Staton allegedly referred to Bennett as a “blond bimbo,” and told a male staff member to stop being “googly-eyed” over County Attorney Madkour. “Have you seen her lately?” Staton allegedly said. “She gained her weight back.” Staton also allegedly ridiculed Judge Waller’s appearance. He allegedly described D.A. Underhill’s excitement about an issue by saying “Rod was ejaculating all over the table,” and described Commissioner Diane McKeel’s excitement about another issue by saying “she wet herself.” All those named in the claim declined to comment. Of the five county commissioners, only Jules Bailey, who’s running for Portland mayor, would comment. “I’m very concerned any time allegations of this nature come forward,” Bailey says. It might not come as a shock to learn a career law enforcement officer such as Staton—who joined the sheriff’s office in 1989, two years after Yankee—used salty language. But the filing also alleges Staton “frequently touched Chief Deputy Yankee inappropriately and insisted on hugging Chief Deputy Yankee, while it was his custom to shake hands with her male peers.” The tort claim notice also suggests hostility boiling between the county’s elected officials—and highlights a significant structural tension in county government. Yankee, one of three chief deputies and the highestranking woman on Staton’s command staff, was responsible for many of the administrative functions of the sheriff’s office: records, information technology, training and—most importantly in this complaint—budgeting. Staton, who was elected to a second four-year term in 2014, is an independent official who makes his own decisions about staffing and other management issues. But the five county commissioners, who are also independently elected, determine the sheriff’s budget. For 2015-16, that budget is $118 million, ranking the sheriff’s office second only to the county health department ($135 million) among general fund expenditures. Part of the tension is that the county commission is more interested in human services than jailing people. 12

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016




The sheriff’s office is responsible for running the county’s three jails. It also provides law enforcement services to about 45,000 county residents in Troutdale, Wood Village, Maywood Park and part of Sauvie Island. For years, the county commission and the sheriff have clashed over Staton’s overtime spending. Three years ago, the commissioners began requiring Staton to make quarterly reports to them in open meetings. Yankee’s tort claim notice, filed by her attorney, Sean Riddell, includes discussion of such budget tensions. As Staton’s budget officer, Yankee served as liaison to the commission on financial issues. She reportedly clashed with Staton over his 2015 proposal to begin providing law enforcement services to the city of Troutdale.




inability to exercise, Staton demoted her and “began to openly fat shame others in front of Chief Deputy Yankee.” “Staton would refer to Undersheriff Tim Moore and Chief Deputy [Jason] Gates as ‘fat asses’ in Chief Deputy Yankee’s presence,” the tort claim says. “Staton would often refer to judges, commissioners and other county employees in derogatory terms if they were overweight.” Through a spokesman, Staton declined to comment, citing pending litigation. But he sent an email to staff notifying them of the tort claim notice. “I am proud of this agency,” Staton wrote Feb. 2. “We have come a long way.” Staton, first appointed in November 2009, has had an uneven tenure. He returned stability to the office after the forced resignations of his two predecessors, Bernie Giusto


After a contentious meeting Feb. 12, 2015, about the cost of providing that service, Yankee alleges, Staton “accused Chief Deputy Yankee of providing ‘too much’ information to County Commissioners regarding the Sheriff Office’s budget. The sheriff demanded to know how often Chief Deputy Yankee met with the individual commissioners and what she told them.” After another budget meeting with county commissioners Feb. 17, 2015, Staton and Yankee returned to the sheriff’s office. There, Yankee claims, Staton engaged in a “rant where he threatened most of the executive staff and specifically threatened to fire Chief Deputy Yankee if the Sheriff’s Office did not stay within budget.” The tort claim says that as well as making sexist remarks, Staton insulted people based on their weight. Yankee took leave for surgery last summer, and claims that when she returned to work heavier because of her

and Bob Skipper. But his agency led the unsuccessful investigation into the June 2010 disappearance of Kyron Horman, then a 7-year-old student at Skyline Elementary in unincorporated Northwest Portland. In 2012, the county settled a whistleblower lawsuit by Capt. Bret Elliot. Elliot, now retired, stills talks to former colleagues and says he’s not surprised by Yankee’s allegations. “He’s a former military person and an autocrat who has difficulty relating to his staff,” Elliot says. Last month, Staton produced a 30-page glossy magazine highlighting his office’s accomplishments. “Every member of our community deserves to feel safe and have confidence in the men and women who protect that safety,” Staton writes in the preface. “Being true to the guiding principles of our profession in excellence, accountability, and equity is a strong foundation for keeping our communities safe.”





Last Fan Standing minor scrapes. “Dear America, here’s a letter I received from Pioneer Collections Agency telling me they want some money because I refused to pay some criminal court fines for smoking marijuana on a river and not wearing a life jacket,” Fry said in a BY JO H N S E P U LVA D O @JohnLGC YouTube video, where he shows himself burning the collections letter. “This is obviously tyranny. This story originally appeared on and This is bullshit.” is reprinted with permission of Oregon Public Online, David Fry found an older, male ear to Broadcasting. bend in Robert “LaVoy” Finicum. The Arizona Ten days into the armed occupation of the Mal- rancher had become a confidant of the Bundy heur National Wildlife Refuge, David Fry was family in 2014 after Finicum came to the Bundys’ looking forward to going home. Shunned by the Nevada ranch in April, during the family’s standalpha-male militant leaders in the camp, Fry—a off with the Bureau of Land Management. skinny, bespectacled 27-year-old from Ohio— Finicum began posting videos on YouTube was waiting to talk to one person before he left. and long screeds in militia chat rooms. Fry casu“I want to say goodbye to LaVoy, but then I have ally commented on those videos and posts, and to go home,” Fry told OPB shortly the two began a the afternoon of Jan. 14. “I digital correspondence. think I make some of the Fry helped Finicum guys nervous here because self-publish his book, Only of the bad things people are by Blood and Suffering, a saying about me.” post-apocalyptic novel set Those “bad things” in the Western desert. included criticism that Fry “He talked about LaVoy supported the radical tera lot,” Fry Jr. said. “but rorist group ISIS and had before he left [for Orerepeatedly praised Adolf gon], and I think if LaVoy Hitler online. wasn’t there, [David] Less than two weeks wouldn’t have left.” later, LaVoy Finicum would Bill Fry said the last be shot dead on a highway, conversation he ever had and David Fry would be with his son, he tried to one of the last four militant talk him out of leaving holdouts at the compound. for the Malheur National Online, Fry is quick to Wildlife Refuge. HOLDOUT: David Fry remains ensconsed at the Malheur engage with anyone will“And like we always do… National Wildlife Refuge. ing to listen. A believer in we just blew up at each conspiracies, Fry comes other,” Fry Jr. said. The off as bombastic, paranoid two haven’t talked directly REFRESHER: and angry. In defending since then, although David Militant leader Ammon his anti- Semitic posts, Fry said he called while his Bundy and four followers he wrote on his Google+ dad was on vacation. were arrested by the FBI and account, “ZIONIST JEWS “I’d like to have him Oregon State Police on Jan. ARE NOT TRUE JEWS!” home,” Fry Jr. said, crying. 26. OSP officers shot and “He’s had his problems, “But it’s not about me, and killed Arizona militant Robert some of which he’s brought I don’t think that would “LaVoy” Finicum during the on himself,” his paternal help. It’s about his belief.” arrests. Eleven defendants grandfather, William Fry, O n Ja n . 14 , L a Voy now await trial on federal told OPB. “He gets pulled Finicum, as he was known charges for seizing Malheur over for busted taillights, to do, made peace in the National Wildlife Refuge. and instead of just rollcamp between leaders and ing down his window and David Fry. The leaders, handing over his insurance, particularly Ryan Payne, he screams at the officer, an Army veteran, were ‘What the fuck do you want?’” upset about Fry’s online support of ISIS. Fry’s anger, often directed at authority, Even after the issues were smoothed over, the resulted in a strained relationship with his own rest of the militant group did not accept Fry. “I father, William “Bill” Fry Jr. don’t know anything about him,” militant Jason “We used to both be Tea Party guys,” Fry Jr. Patrick told OPB on Jan. 27. “I think he’s just said. “But we would argue even about that. I would gawking. He’s not going to help us when the FBI always say, ‘Ballots over bullets,’ and he would get rolls in.” real mad, and we couldn’t talk about it.” But Fry stayed, along with husband and wife David Fry was bullied in high school because Sean and Sandy Anderson, and Jeff Banta, even of his Japanese heritage. after Patrick turned himself in; even after a jailed “He was one of five people who wasn’t Cau- Ammon Bundy pleaded Jan. 28 for him to leave. casian at the school,” Bill Fry said. “With his “I will stay here to the end,” he said, after brother being one of the other five.” Bundy’s plea for the remaining occupiers to surAfter school, David spent his time doing odd render. jobs at his father’s dental office, and getting in AMANDA PEACHER


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10


500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173

Lunch and dinner everyday Live music 5 nights a week 1101 NW Northrup, Pearl District | 503.227.2988


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


“Even living under a pool table, I ran out of money.” page 29


DIVE BOMB: The stiffest, cheapest drinks in the Barmuda Triangle are going the way of the buffalo. Staff at Sewick’s, a legendary Hawthorne Boulevard dive, were informed Jan. 31 that the building had been sold to a developer. Plans are for a 46-unit, mixed-use apartment complex with commercial space on the ground floor. The Sewick’s building and bar were owned by April Kramer, under the name Darek Properties LLC. The final day for Sewick’s will be Leap Day, Feb. 29. Staff says it will start selling off a century’s worth of pictures and artifacts. “There’s stuff here that’s been here a long time,” says the bartender. “I’ve been told there’s a table downstairs with a newspaper that goes back to 1919.”

Antoinette Antique & Estate Jewelry

ALL-STAR SKATES: On Jan. 29, Blazers guard Damian Lillard launched his newest Adidas shoe. A local company celebrated by making one pair of D Lillard 2s into roller skates—like Heelys, but better. According to the blog, the skates were created by Portland company Recon Northwest as a gift from Adidas to Lillard, who is apparently “known to frequent Portland-area rinks with friends and family to cruise around for a couple hours on an off d ay.” Sadly, the skates are a special thing only Damian Lillard gets to have. Sorry! Maybe when you are a huge Portland basketball/rap star full of loyalty and integrity, you can have your own magical roller skates, too.

2328 NW Westover Rd.


p r o d u c e audio stories h i g h l i g h t

good work


sweet prizes visit

x r ay. f m

click the Radio is Yours button awa rds sh ow

jan 22nd

email questions to

r a d i o i s y o u r s @ x r a y. f m


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016





COCKTAILS AND CATHOLIC MASTURBATORS: You can now watch scandalous theater with a cocktail in hand, because Triangle Productions on Northeast Sandy Boulevard has a liquor license. This comes just in time for Thursday’s premiere of What Every Girl Should Know, a collaboration with Planned Parenthood about Catholic reformatory girls who “pass the time with masturbation rituals.” The theater’s recent 1,925-square-foot expansion added a cabaret space, bar and bistro, since “people were asking, ‘Where can I get a munchy?’” says Triangle founder Donald Horn. Planned Parenthood experts will hand out informational HAIL MARY: What Every brochures at Girl Should Know. the show. HOP ON: Last week, WW and N.W.I.P.A. assembled a panel of beer experts to pick Portland’s best IPA. Our crew included N.W.I.P.A.’s own Jackson Wyatt, Sarah Pederson of Saraveza, Kyle Stone-Chilla of McMenamins, filmmaker John Lovegrove, and N.W.I.P.A’s most beloved customer, “Baller Chris” Hanks. The crew soldiered through every damned IPA made within city limits—73 total—to pick the top 10. Those beers will be on tap Saturday at N.W.I.P.A. on Southeast Foster Road. You get a glass and 10 tokens for $16, which buys you the chance to vote for the city’s best. You can also get some grub from Chicken and Guns, which just might be the best new food cart of the year. We’ll announce Portland’s best—and worst—hoppy beers Feb. 24.

The Skimmity Hitchers play Cider Riot, 807 NE Couch St., 662-8275,, on Friday, Feb. 5. 7:30 pm. $5, or free with CiderCon badge. 21+. TRICIA HIPPS


WEDNESDAY FEB. 3 Holding Space

[ART] Six artists of color transform Holocene into an immersive art experience— performance, photography, music and dance—including Intisar Abioto’s visceral photographs of black Portlanders. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $10. 21+.

THURSDAY FEB. 4 Futurebirds

[COUNTRY PSYCH] Athens’ Futurebirds are a Southern rock band that remains faithful to the genre while soaking up the trippy sounds of the Elephant 6 collective. As with any great honky-tonk outfit, Hotel Parties, their latest album, is heartbreak and clinical depression, delivered with the vitality of a barroom brawl. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 8 pm. 21+.



Blood, Sweat & Beers

In England, cider isn’t just for those fancy-boy celiacs. Cider drinking is the hard-driving, working-class national sport—although those 6 pints of snakebite do sometimes coincide with a game of kickball. In the U.K.’s West Country especially, unfiltered, high-alcohol “scrumpy” cider flows like white lightning in West Virginia. There’s a even a style of music, Scrumpy and Western, devoted entirely to the demon apple juice. As CiderCon takes over Portland (see page 19), Cider Riot will bring the West Country’s greatest Scrumpy and Western band, Dorset’s Skimmity Hitchers, to play at its cidery Feb. 5. We asked the band’s singer, Kevin “Tatty Smart” Davis, to explain some of that hip cider lingo they use in their songs. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.


[DOC TALK] Local craft brewers—from Coin Toss, Zoiglhaus and Montavilla Brew Works— follow up a documentary about the startup struggles of two East Coast breweries with tales of their own. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St. 7 pm. $10.

The world’s greatest living cider band is coming to Portland. Here’s what in the hell they’re singing about.


A skimmity ride was something practiced in small villages around the West Country up until the late 19th century. It basically involved the ritual humiliation of wrongdoers in the community, to the accompaniment of drunkenness and “rough music.” Essentially, this is also what happens at our shows, so the name chose us perfectly.

“Scrumpy and Western”

A band called the Wurzels coined the phrase Scrumpy and Western for this genre of music in the 1960s, and brought cider songs out of the sheds and into the charts. S&W is basically a celebration of cider and the rich culture around it: getting drunk, eating cheese, swearing, farting and sleeping with members of one’s family.

“Lyme Regis”

The Hitchers’ song “Viva Lyme Regis,” about a coastal town in Dorset, is sung to the tune of Elvis’ Vegas hit. If Elvis had been to Lyme Regis, he’d still be alive today, happily running an icecream concession down near the harbor. It’s a good life, some say. There’s Jack Ratt scrumpy, some massive hills and a portion of chips with every meal that psychopathic seagulls try to steal.

“Black Rat”

Black Rat is a flat, moreish cider that has been the ruin of many a teenager in the West Country. Many claim it has hallucinogenic and fertility properties. There is now also a fizzy, clear version on the market, which is an imposter and has none of these benefits—basically West Country snake oil.

“Whitey Hell”

Whitey Hell is where someone goes after imbibing farmhouse scrumpy and weed in close proximity to one another. Both are very easily underestimated. Like a peyote experience, it is only for the true shaman. As the song says, “Why torture yourself, when either does as well?” Keep ’em separate, folks!


Generic, mass-marketed, fizzy, corporate rubbish that is as far from real scrumpy as you could imagine. In the West Country, it is served to children as a “training cider.”

Why you can't say the word “rabbits” in Portland, England:

Portland is famous for its stone, and for centuries the main industry on this tiny, windswept

Rebel Junk Market

[BUY OR DIY] This nationally touring vintage megamarket is like Black Friday and Disneyland combined for junkers and the DIY demographic. Washington County Fairgrounds, 873 NW 34th Ave., Hillsboro. 10 am. $7.

WW Portland IPA Challenge

rock has been quarrying. Rabbits dig tunnels, and quarry workers fear the effects of this. We’ve thought about pointing out that they would need to be bloody strong rabbits to dig through Portland stone, but people on “Fraggle Rock” are not to be messed with.

Other West Country terms Davis says might be useful:

“Skreach” (cider), “proper job” (anything extreme or extremely good), and—our favorite— “Kimberlin.” Quoth an 1864 issue of Harper’s magazine: “The Portlanders have a word for a man who does not belong to their island, but rather to the main-land, which, I think, will puzzle the etymologists for some time. They call such a man a Kimberlin!”

We tasted every single IPA brewed in Portland city limits— 73 in all—in a blind tasting. The top 10 from that tasting will be on tap at N.W.I.P.A., marked only with the letters A through J. Everyone votes. Winner takes all. N.W.I.P.A., 6350 SE Foster Road, 805-7342. 11 am. $16 for 10 5-ounce tastes, $2 for individual tastes. 21+.

TUESDAY FEB. 9 It’s Not Me, It’s You

[ANTI-LOVE] A tell-all of breakup stories from some of Portland’s best celebrity types, like past WW Funniest Five winner Sean Jordan and the feminist cat rapper iAmMoshow, hosted by Bri Pruett and benefiting Planned Parenthood. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7 pm. $20.

A Conversation With Pussy Riot

[PROTEST HEROES] Pussy Riot still has more punk cred than any band in the world—they served two years in a Russian prison for their music. Why wouldn’t you want to show up for a conversation? Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 7 pm. $39.50 advance, $45 day of show. All ages.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016






Saturday February, 13th


,    FIREWORKS SHOW  N F S C

OYSTERS BONITAS: The fresh bar at Olympia.

F S         Y   M ONE STOP SHOPPING Groceries · Housewares · Gifts · Jewelry · Restaurants




9am-8pm seven days a week

*Restaurant Hours may vary from mall hours

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


The king is wearing far too many clothes. The “dressed” oysters (also four for $12), served in-shell, have similar issues. A pomegranate seedand-serrano number, clothed in a dusting of toasted quinoa and a cut of micro basil, leaves the oyster oddly to the side: Pomegranate seeds demand attenBY MATTHEW KOR FHAGE tion, both from teeth and tongue. The oyster slides past them and leaves you a lovely salad that doesn’t The oyster must be pure. This is what we’re told, anyway—especially on the include the oyster. A brightly tart, halved kumquat in West Coast, where we are spoiled with bivalves that another shell was even more troubling in this regard. But a shoyu-ponzu oyster was revelatory. The fat grow meaty and complex and sweeter than the Gulf Coast brine. They’re served pristine on the half-shell, of the oyster enriches a soy-citrus broth thickened pure of liquor, the ultimate expression of terroir. In by sesame, while the salt and umami in the sauce certain quarters, you get dirty looks for using lemon, brings out the oyster’s flavors. It’s like fresh oyster sauce happening on the fly. let alone trying a mignonette. But it’s unclear how OlymSo when Olympia Oyster Bar Order this: Ponzu oysters, raw oysters, Hama Hama clam bowl. pia is meant to be used. The chefs Melissa Mayer and Maylin Chavez come along with promises Best deal: Raw oysters at “recess” well-lighted space doesn’t read from 4 to 6 pm (six for $12). as a bar hangout, though a cockto change Portland’s oyster game, I’ll pass: Kataifa naked oyster, tail list from Oven and Shaker’s I’m eager to see how it turns out. pomegranate-serrano oyster, kumquat oyster. Ryan Magarian offers a scatThe spartan, white-walled and tering of classics like a sweetly wood-tabled eatery—with long communal tables and a little elbow of an oyster lime-ginger-whiskey Presbyterian ($10) with bar—opened on North Mississippi Avenue in mid- a strong ginger bite. The beer and wine menus December. Mayer and Chavez had been honing fare better, with $5 local saisons and a farmhouse their bivalved vision in booze-fueled pop-up din- cider, and wine priced from $6 to $11. But Olympia is also hard to use as a restaurant ners “where oyster is king” since August 2014. unless you dig deep. But it turns out reinventing oysters ain’t easy. Oysters rarely make for a meal. And twice upon First, let’s say that every oyster among the many varietals has been a beauty, as sumptuous and ordering one of the few substantive-looking dishes— obscene as any nude painted by a master. They’re mussels ($17) and ponzu steelhead ($15)—Olympia had run out, an issue Mayer says they resolved. A served three ways—raw, naked and dressed. Raw oysters ($15 for six, or chef’s choice at market Hama Hama clam bowl ($15) was a fine French-style rates) are delivered daily from the oyster farm, and wine cook-down loaded with fennel and leek. After one $40 meal—lovely Matiz sardines garnished with pickled serrano, Tapatio and Key lime wedge. They’re served French-style, with the lower served in their tin with chili and oil ($8), oysters and an extremely acidic shrimp ceviche ($10) with foot still attached to the shell to keep freshness. But Olympia’s A-game is staked on naked and little crisped shrimp feet charmingly on top—I went home and made myself a sandwich. dressed. And that’s where it runs into trouble. It seems that Olympia has not yet really transiThe “naked” oysters (four for $12), removed from their shells, are whimsical, chef-happy con- tioned from pop-up—where well-heeled diners drop structions, whether a mini-tostada or, as in the $100 apiece on a long parade of tiny bites built to Kataifi, wrapped in a bird’s nest of crisped phyllo impress—to a restaurant meant to serve the needs that looks like shredded wheat and topped with of the many. The chefs’ talents are obvious, and smoked avocado puree, pickled serrano jam and the oysters are beautiful. But a month and a half in, a pepper-sesame-sea salt dust designed by Iron Olympia feels less like a reinvention than a test lab. Chef Morimoto. It’s a balanced food composition— crunchy, spicy, sweet—in which the subtle, soft EAT: Olympia Oyster Bar, 4214 N Mississippi Ave., 4-10 pm Tuesday-Friday, oyster is unfortunately less naked than invisible. 11:30 am-10 pm Saturday (includes brunch).

= WW Pick.


Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

SATURDAY, FEB. 6 Great Portland IPA Challenge

Stop by hops shrine N.W.I.P.A. to help crown the best IPA in all of Portland. On Jan. 28, a panel blind-tasted every IPA brewed within city limits. The top 10 IPAs from that tasting will be at N.W.I.P.A.— marked with the letters A through J. For $16, you can taste all 10 and vote for your favorite. Chicken and Guns will be on hand serving up some of the city’s best Latin-style chicken. N.W.I.P.A., 6350 SE Foster Rd., 805-7342. 11 am. $16 for 10 tastes, $2 for individual tastes. 21+.

MONDAY, FEB. 8 Lundi Gras

The day before Mardi Gras, Tapalaya has a Breakside Brewery pairing dinner with Trinidad oyster cocktail shooters, coconut curried gulf shrimp and pork cheek pepperpot, plus a double IPA called Pathfinder aged in Old Tom gin barrels. Reserve tickets at Tapalaya, 28 NE 28th Ave, 232-6652. 6 pm. $60 includes drinks and tip.

TUESDAY, FEB. 9 Mardi Gras

It’s Mardi Gras! Hooray! Portland barely celebrates it. Anyway, go to one of these four places, all of which will have N’Orleans music and offer their menu plus specials: EaT: An Oyster Bar (North Portland), the Parish (Northwest Portland), Acadia (Northeast Portland), Tapalaya (Inner East Portland). If you just want to get drunk, yell a lot and try to see boobs for beads, go to Old Town, where there will be plenty of police officers to greet you. Multiple locations.

Cider House Rule


For the next four days, until Feb. 6, Portland will swim drunkenly in cider. About 1,000 cider makers and aficionados will swarm to Portland for CiderCon, the biggest event in the country to celebrate alcoholic apples. Portland has become the epicenter of the nationwide cider boom, with the most cider drinking per capita, but this is the first time Portland has hosted the event—even though it was founded in 2011 in Salem, way back in the early days of American cider, which we can hardly even remember today. Much of CiderCon isn’t for the public— and frankly, you don’t want to sit in on a seminar about federal cider licensing. But, with this many cider makers in town, there’s a whole world of cider events throughout the city, with ciderheads from all over the world attending and rare ciders you won’t see again. Here are the best cider parties in town. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. WE DNE S DAY, FE B . 3

Finnriver Cider Social Where to eat this week. 1. Pizza Jerk

5028 NE 42nd Ave, 284-9333, Tommy Habetz’s new Cully pizza spot is what fine dining would be if nothing except the state of New Jersey ever existed—a batshit world in which pizza rolls and mozzerella sticks are taken seriously. $$.

2. Tastebud

7783 SW Capitol Highway, 234-0330, Tastebud’s excellent wood-fired pies make it the best new restaurant Multnomah Village has seen in a generation. $$.

3. Culmination Brewing

2117 NE Oregon St., 971-258-2808, Culmination is turning out some of the best brewery food in Portland, with a very fine trio of brisket-cabbage tacos available as a $10 plate. $.

4. Nakhon

3354 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-279-5395. Nakhon serves up fine southern Thai food of often searing spice, especially a kua kling dish that’s like spicy curry that uses pork instead of coconut milk as a base. $$$.

5. Reo’s Ribs

4211 NE Sandy Blvd., 719-6291. After years on East Division, Reo’s is back smoking up fine $12-a-plate ribs in the old Hollywood Burger Bar, with heavy, sweet Mississippi-style sauce and damn good meat noted for its thick bark and vivid fuchsia interior. $.

Finnriver Cidery, despite being in Washington and therefore the enemy, is one of the greatest cider makers in the country—and they’re throwing down lots of rare ciders at the very first dedicated cider bar in the country, Bushwhacker Brooklyn. Expect a hot toddy made with 18.5 percent ABV apple brandy, cider made with artisanal wasabi, ginger cider, cider fermented with rice and, especially, a flight of Finnriver’s ultra-rare Crew Selection ciders that will include Basque-style, soured and aged ciders. Bushwhacker Brooklyn, 1212 SE Powell Blvd., Suite D, 445-0577, 6-9 pm.

Reverend Nat and Tom Oliver

Consider this the most essential cider event of the night. Tom Oliver’s cider company in Herefordshire, England—Oliver’s—is considered one of the best in his country. Oliver will be on hand at Reverend Nat’s, considered one of the best in our country. More importantly, alongside his other ciders and perries, Oliver will be pouring a 10-year-old Herefordshire Dry, unavailable in America probably forever, except tonight. Reverend Nat’s Taproom, 1813 NE 2nd Ave., 567-2221, 8-10 pm.

Finnegan and Locust Cider Tap Takeover

Lake Oswego-based Finnegan planted 3,000 trees that grow the tannic cider apples of England and France that remain rare in these parts—essentially, making estate cider

a stone’s throw from Portland. Their bottles are like $10 or $20 apiece, however. So, taste them here instead. Locust, from Woodinville, Wash.—which makes ginger, cherry, dry and bittersweet ciders—will also be on hand, and the Big North Duo will play live starting at 6 pm. Portland Cider House, 3638 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-6283, 5-8 pm.

WildCraft, Swift, Red Tank

Along with ciders from Portland’s Swift— home to excellent hopped ciders—and Bend’s Red Tank, Civic Taproom will play host to the ciders of WildCraft, a Eugene cidery devoted to wild-fermented ciders. What this means, in practice, is that the flavors are much, much more intense than almost any other ciders you’ll find. There is both reward and risk in this. Cider rep Kolin Leishman will be on hand. Civic Taproom, 621 SW 19th Ave., 4774621, 5-8 pm. T H U RS DAY, FE B . 4

Pomme Boots

You’ve heard of Pink Boots, the brewing society devoted to promoting women in the beer industry? Well, this is Pomme Boots. For apples. The newly formed group is looking to get more women into the boozy fruit game, and is holding a meet and greet in the lobby of the downtown Hilton, where a load of cider maker events are taking place. They will then adjourn to HopCity Tavern inside the Hilton. Portland Hilton, 921 SW 6th Ave., 226-1611. 5:30-7:30 pm.

Portland Cider Company’s Deron Davenport

Portland Cider Company is down in the industrial wilds of Oregon City—and moving soon to Clackamas—but their cider maker, Deron Davenport, will come up to Portland Cider House on Hawthorne to talk about how the cider gets made. Expect stories about crushing things with forklifts and pallets. Portland Cider House. 6-8 pm.

Cherry Poppin’ Daddies

Yeah, that’s right: the “Zoot Suit Riot” itself, Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, will play a cider ball. Last year, they played with the Oregon Symphony. This year, they’re playing with ciders—some of which will likely be cherry—from 2 Towns in Corvallis. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 206-7630, 8 pm. $10.

Baird & Dewar, Cider Riot, Les Vergers de la Collines, Alpenfire

Oh, man. That’s a good bunch of ciders. If you missed local English-style cidery Cider Riot’s takeover of Apex on Tuesday, expect some pickups here. And Baird & Dewar makes wonderful dry farmhouse ciders. But you’re probably here for Les Vergers de la Collines, a Quebecois cidre company so French their English looks funny on their website. Civic Taproom. 6 pm-midnight.

AeppelTreow Takeover

Aeppeltreow—which means “apple tree” in the Entish language of Wisconsin forests—is a fine, clean-tasting, well-regarded winery cider we’re told often approaches Champagne. Its maker, Charles McGonegal, will be on hand in the Northeast Portland Bushwhacker to pour some cider, perry and fortified wine. Bushwhacker Woodlawn, 901 NE Oneonta St., 971-229-1663, 6-9 pm. FR IDAY, FEB. 5

Rare Cider Party

Friday’s itinerary is clear, and it begins at Reverend Nat’s with 12 or more taps of rare ciders from Nat’s, Finnriver, Alpenfire, Far Afield and more, plus collaboration projects from breweries like Cascade, Phantom Carriage and Coalition. Expect ciders and hybrids you will never see again. Reverend Nat’s Taproom. 4-11 pm.

Skimmity Hitchers live at Cider Riot!

Be the first of your friends to see Cider Riot’s new warehouse cidery space catty-corner from Burnside Brewing’s loading dock, as the mighty Scrumpy & Western band, Skimmity Hitchers, plays (see page 17). Expect plenty of local cider, especially Cider Riot, and some very nonlocal cider, like Oliver’s, Cranborne Chase, New Forest Traditional and Talbot Harris. Cider Riot!, 807 NE Couch St., 662-8275. 8 pm. $5 cheap! SATUR DAY, FEB. 6

Bauman’s Cider Release

This Portland cider has never been seen on earth before—until you drink it here, that is. Cider maker Christine Walter will launch a new local cider company here at Bushwhacker. You can say you knew her back when. Bushwhacker Brooklyn. 6-9 pm. GO: CiderCon is Feb. 2-6. Full listings of events open to the public are at

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016





Vangaurd saddle bag


$250 Treat your honey (or yourself) to a true staple piece proudly designed and

How much do you love them?

Why not surprise your sweetheart with tickets to a fabulous night out! Portland Center Stage is the city's premiere live performance theater. Current productions: The Dickens classic, Great Expectations (ends Feb. 14); Dael Orlandersmith's, Forever; and Dan Hoyle's, Each & Every Thing. A night at the theater is a night to remember. 128 NW Eleventh Ave., 503.445.3700,

crafted right here in Portland. From Tanner Goods, the Vanguard Saddle Bag will complement any wardrobe for a lifetime. To make it extra personal, step into the West Burnside store for complimentary monogramming and gift wrap service with each purchase. 1308 W Burnside St. - Open 7 days, 503-222-2774,


Rings $100-$150

Maple wood topped with wood from reclaimed French Oak Cabernet & Pinot Noir wine barrels. All the Sticks & Stones products are handcrafted in Portland, Oregon. 427 NW 6th Ave., 503-477-9894,


Gift Card How much do you love them? Have a sweetheart that

loves peddling through Portland puddles? What better way to say I love you than a gift card to the Portland's most renowned bicycle emporium. With the city's largest selection of bicycles, accessories, parts and gear, you're sure to win their heart. 706 SE MLK Jr. Blvd., 503-233-5973,


Necklace $395 Queen Victoria’s passion for turquoise as a symbol of true love was a major influence on Victorian-era jewelry. This sweet sterling heart locket from the 1870s is covered in tiny turquoise gems and the perfect love token. 720 NW 23rd Ave., 503-226-0629, GILT 

Vintage Engagement Ring $4,595

A vintage engagement ring is the perfect symbol of lasting love. This Classic Art Deco beauty in platinum filigree holds an Old European-cut diamond; cut to reflect the light of candles. Seriously romantic. 720 NW 23rd Ave., 503-226-0629,


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


un der derU 4m en 

Saxx Underwear $28 - $38 Give him a gift you will enjoy too… Saxx underwear from underU4men, the largest men’s underwear store in America. 800 SW Washington St., 503-274-2555,


Travelust Portland Map Heart Necklace $25 Local Portland designer Travelust incorporates vintage maps and jewelry

components to make beautiful pieces that are gorgeous and timeless. Presents of Mind has a huge selection of her various options of lovely Portland map jewelry & accessories, but the heart necklace is our pick for Valentine's Day. 3633 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-230-7740,


Amy Schumer Saint of Badass Candle $20 Set your partner's world on fire with these patron saints of rebellion. Good times guaranteed. Found at the west end store 404 SW 10th Ave.,


Chocolate Clone a Willie $xx What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day then with an exact, replica of your man’s penis made of milk chocolate. Local Portland company Clone-A-Willy creates 100% body-safe kits that allow anyone to create a replica of their lover's penis in milk chocolate or a variety of silicone colors. This Valentine’s get the gift that keeps on giving. betsy & iy a 

Koa Hoop Earrings $64 - $69 Take a classic style like a hoop earring and give

it a modern twist? Don't mind if we do. The stripe of brass on the front of these hoop earrings is unexpected in the best possible way. Hand-forged sterling silver and brass with sterling silver posts. Made by hand with love at betsy & iya. 2403 NW Thurman St., 503-227-5482,


Floral Fleece Crew $68 Your Valentine's new favorite sweater. Take her streetwear game to the next level in this relaxed cotton crew. Found at the west end store. 404 SW 10th Ave.,


La Vie Parisienne Swarovski Crystal Bracelet $58 La Vie Parisienne utilizes traditional French jewelry processes and antique jewelry molds

and fi ndings to created their timeless and charming collection. This bracelet features gold plated copper and Swarovski crystals. 7.5" - 9" adjustable length with lobster clasp. 3426 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503.233.7476, M-F 10-7, Sat 10-6, Sun 11-6,

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.


Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 3 RVIVR, Dead Cult, Blowout

[PUNK] RVIVR are from Olympia, but the band’s sound is less twee-pop or riot grrrl than bleeding-heart, singyour-lungs-red pop-punk. Think less K Records, more mid-’90s Warped Tour. It’s the rock’n’roll of teenage dreams, those adolescent years when everything matters so fucking much—the stuff you think you’ve outgrown until you hear that big chorus hit, and suddenly you’re wearing an Alkaline Trio shirt and pogoing until its entirely sweated through. Don’t miss Blowout, who are essentially RVIVR’s Portland equivalent and capable of generating even more youthful feels in even the craggiest old punk. MATTHEW SINGER. Black Water Bar, 835 NE Broadway St. 7 pm. $8. All ages.

Bands for Bernie: 1939 Ensemble, Dead Man Talking, Months, the Fourth Wall

[BEAT JAZZ] If Trent Reznor got a little more into Miles Davis, he’d be a perfect addition to 1939 Ensemble’s lineup. A swirling mix of electronic noises, vintage drums, trumpet and vibraphone, the local trio’s sound is layered into a mass of jazzy, post-rock beauty, one beat-driven note at a time. Performing tonight as part of a Portland-area benefit for Bernie Sanders, the group will be well-suited to the event, with songs from its latest record—a weighty batch released last year called Black Diamond Pearl—likely to meld well with Sanders supporters’ retro-futurist vibe. PARKER HALL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.



G O H E 0 0 7 / W W S TA F F

CONT. on page 27




Does a Bay Area Super Bowl need Coldplay? Nope! Does it need a legendary Vallejo rapper to tell them when to go dumb? Yup! An E-40 halftime show would make Super Bowl 50 the most hyphy Super Bowl in history.

2 Five Finger Death Punch The NFL has made an enormous commitment to supporting the troops (in exchange for large amounts of sponsorship money). Getting the troopssupportingest hard-rock band in America would really drive home the NFL’s dedication. Ideally, the second half would then kick off with the football being fired out of an M1 Abrams tank gun. 3 Foo Fighters performing Karlheinz Stockhausen’s Helikopter-Streichquartett

Americans love three things: football, Foo Fighters and modernist classical music. Nothing says “spectacle” quite like Dave Grohl and the gang, each in his own helicopter, playing a rollicking arrangement of Stockhausen’s most ambitious string quartet above the enraptured crowd at Levi’s Stadium.

4 Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen If the NFL is going to have foreigners perform at the most American event in history, why not at least show some North American solidarity by inviting musicians from our scrappy little brother up north? If football confuses them, tell them it is American hockey. 5 Taylor Swift America wants Taylor Swift to play this and every Super Bowl from now until the end of football. America wants the Super Bowl to be renamed the Taylor Swift Bowl. America wants every NFL team to be renamed “the Swifts.” Roger Goodell should give America what we want. WALKER MACMURDO. SEE IT: Super Bowl 50 kicks off at 3:30 pm Sunday, Feb. 7, on CBS.

Super Furry Animals have been Wales’ ambassadors for experimental psychedelic-techno fusions since the early 1990s. They have performed onstage in Yeti outfits, toured in a blue military tank, and frontman Gruff Rhys wrote a whole album about items he stole from hotel rooms. It’s been six years since Super Furry Animals came to the U.S., but they hit Portland this week to play Crystal Ballroom’s Sabertooth Micro Fest, a celebration of psychedelic music. WW caught up with Rhys to talk about the evolution of psychedelic culture and hearing his own song while on hold. WW: You haven’t been to the U.S. as a band for six years, and you haven’t put out an album since 2009. What made you want to come back now? Gruff Rhys: Last year was the re-release of one of our records called Mwng, which came out in 2000 originally, so it coincided with the 21st year of the band. I suppose it’s our combined 20th and 21st birthday, and we’re just doing some touring around. In that sense, it’s a very selfish tour, just celebrating our birthday and indulging. How do you feel about modern psychedelic music? It’s difficult to define psychedelia, and I think this age is the most susceptible because there’s a multitude of influences that the world gives us. We are able to access all the sounds of the world in a way we couldn’t in the past. So I hear a lot of kind of pop music on the radio that sounds completely psychedelic. It defies any kind of location. So is psychedelia more accessible today? I think our culture in general is probably more psychedelic and multidimensional than any previous age. Culture is pretty psychedelic in general.

How has psychedelia changed since the 1960s? I suppose what’s problematic about the term “psychedelia” is that it was rooted in the 1960s, whereas maybe the acid house of the 1980s isn’t defined as psychedelic. The most powerful psychedelic artifacts today don’t use the 1960s as a template, and it’s just the result of experimentation. If you look at someone like Takeshi Murata, [his artwork] is intensely psychedelic, but it has no reference to the 1960s whatsoever. It seems part of the digital age, but it’s also deeply psychedelic. Can we expect any more solo albums from you? Yeah, but I think the band is working on new records continuously nonetheless. We’ll do some Super Furry things, I’m sure. We had an intense period of about 14 years where we put out nine albums and where we were effectively living together for 15 years. Our whole lives developed around the band, and there was nothing else, but we’re not in that space at the moment. Sometimes we’d spend six months in the studio every day and we will record things, but not in the same way. Fatigue is inevitable, and I think it’s good to recognize it. We’ve had quite a long break, and it’s been extremely heartwarming playing shows again. We’ll do some recording this year, but not an album. I’m embarrassed to admit that the first Super Furry Animals song I heard was “Hello Sunshine” on the show The O.C. That’s a good thing! It’s amazing when [our music] defies logic and fits into a context you never thought it would. I remember phoning to make a complaint, and while on hold one of our songs was playing back at me. That was pretty weird. It was “Juxtaposed With U,” which is a song about peace and people getting along. It obviously had the opposite effect on me. SEE IT: Super Furry Animals play Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., as part of Sabertooth Micro Fest, with Earth and King Black Acid, on Friday, Feb. 5. 8 pm. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages. See music listings for other Sabertooth shows. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


Tuesday, February 23 • Revolution hall • $15 26

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Hop Along plays Crystal Ballroom on Thursday, Feb. 4.

Dead Meadow, Cambrian Explosion, Will, Time Rift

[SLIGHTLY PSYCHEDELIC] Dead Meadow’s been fooling folks the same way as Tame Impala, just for a lot longer. The D.C.-born trio masks some of its more trippedout purposes in easy-to-digest vocals and doggedly slow tempos. But even with all that reverb on early recordings, there’s just not much energy in the group’s take on the lysergic arts. The 3-yearold Warble Womb, its most recent album, easily could be slotted into any era of the band’s catalog, perhaps insinuating that Dead Meadow is more interested in cultivating a specific vibe than confronting psych’s stasis. All that stoned languorousness, though, probably won’t matter amid the swirling lights. DAVE CANTOR. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 2485700. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

THURSDAY, FEB. 4 Dr. Dog, Hop Along

[ROCK AND JAMS] Both of these bands call Philadelphia home, but the two sound almost nothing alike. Opener Hop Along places Frances Quinlan’s harshyet-highly-melodic vocals over Built To Spill-like riffs, and are currently experiencing a resurgence—a somewhat strange phenomenon for a band that only has two albums. Last year’s Painted Shut stunned critics and fans to the point that the band’s label has decided to reissue its 2012 debut, Get Disowned, later this year. As for the headliners, Dr. Dog is one of alt-rock’s best and most consistent live acts. The sixpiece manages a perfect balance of meandering jams and succinct pop songs. The day after this gig at the Crystal, Dr. Dog releases its newest album, The Psychedelic Swamp, a concept album revived and revised from a 2001 idea. HILARY SAUNDERS. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 2250047. 8 pm. $25 advance, $27 day of show. All ages.

Futurebirds, Susto, Dogheart

[COUNTRY PSYCH] Athens’ Futurebirds are a modern Southern rock band that remains faithful to the genre, while soaking up the trippy sounds of the Elephant 6 collective. On last year’s Hotel Parties the group embraced themes of sacrifice, depression and aging, and like any great honky-tonk outfit, its lyric sheet is a restroom-wall ode to heartbreak and clinical depression. It’s delivered with the vitality of a barroom brawl, while sounding like Townes Van Zandt fronting a version of Crazy Horse that swallowed its own psychedelic pill. CRIS LANKENAU. Mississippi

Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 9 pm. 21+.

Ice Princess, Blackwitch Pudding, Blesst Chest

[THEATRICAL METAL] The Know might be known as a punk venue, but it’ll be full of dark-metal vibes tonight, as a trio of Portland’s heaviest bands take over. Blesst Chest opens the show with its melodic, instrumental brand of hard rock, before Blackwitch Pudding—clad in sparkly hooded robes—offers a sludgy version of so-called stoner metal. Finally, headliners Ice Princess take the stage. The band itself comes with a narrative, that a majestic Ice Princess, defeated in battle 1,000 years ago, has arisen to exact her revenge. The band also performs in hooded garb, creating a theatrical experience to complement its heavy tones and tomes. HILARY SAUNDERS. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

FRIDAY, FEB. 5 Cat Hoch, And And And, Ice Queens

[FUZZY DREAM POP] Cat Hoch (pronounced “hawk”) is a local vocalist and multi-instrumentalist who got her start playing drums in Tender Age. She’s since performed alongside an impressive roster of other Portland acts— including Jackson Boone, Eternal Tapestry (whose Nick Bindeman lends his guitar work to her debut EP), Daydream Machine and more—throughout her still nascent musical career. With her first set of solo songs, Hoch establishes herself as a force of mutable sounds and spacey styles. With Hoch’s wispy vocals coaxing extraterrestrial sounds out of our stratosphere, it’s as if Beach House’s Victoria Legrand were warbling over late era Flaming Lips noodling. It’s certainly an intriguing mix, but it only captivates in small stretches. HILARY SAUNDERS. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9:30 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

SATURDAY, FEB. 6 Frog Eyes

[PSYCHEDELIC PROG] The Canadian eccentrics return to Portland, making up for having to cancel its tour with Destroyer last year due to visa issues. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

CONT. on page 28 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


MUSIC [PSYCHEDELICSTONERROCKMICROFEST] Day two of the Crystal Ballroom’s Sabertooth micro-music festival is about as good a showcase of Oregon heavy metal as one could ask for. Portland’s Witch Mountain, with new vocalist Kayla Dixon, brings a nuanced take to the softer form of doom that has been slowly brewing in the Pacific Northwest and Bay Area since the mid-2000s. Eugene’s Yob remain the best doom act in the country, while headliners Red Fang are sure to whip the party into a frenzy with a galloping, beers-and-bros approach to swamp metal. While you’re there, don’t miss brewer Drew Phillips’ Blasphemous Brew Fest at Lola’s Room, featuring weirdo brews from Crystal, Upright and other craft luminaries, beginning at 5 pm. WALKER MACMURDO. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 6:30 pm. $30-$50. All ages.

MONDAY, FEB. 8 Honey Bucket, The Staches

[SWISS GARAGE ROCK] True to Switzerland’s neutral nature, fourpiece Geneva band the Staches titled its latest EP III, delivering six songs of lo-fi garage rock, ranging from ’60s Brit-punk call-andresponse to drawn-out psychedelic jams sung in a crooning growl. Unlike most punk, nothing about the Staches feels urgent, which may be a European effect. Instead of rushing through verses with driving guitars, the band lets the songs build, taking time to let the buzz of the amps hang in the air. SOPHIA JUNE. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 754-7782. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

TUESDAY, FEB. 9 G. Love & Special Sauce, Ripe

[HIP-HOP ROCK] Since 1994, Garrett Dutton, aka G. Love, has released almost an album a year. While a few are solo, most are with his Philadelphia blues band, Special Sauce, which blends hip-hop and rock and ends up sounding like N.W.A. sampling Sublime over bluesy harmonica—or lower-tier Beastie Boys. Last year’s Love Saves the Day features collaborations with Lucinda Williams and Ozomatli, and leans more toward the rockier side, with driving guitar solos and moments that sound like a less grandiose Arcade Fire. SOPHIA JUNE. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 2337100. 8 pm. $27.50-$87.60. 21+


Sabertooth Micro Festival: Red Fang, Yob, Witch Mountain, World’s Finest, Eternal Tapestry

dates here

Tommy Keene, Eyelids, Zebra Hunt

[POWER POP] I’ve been a fan of Tommy Keene since he was Washington, D.C.’s local Great Pop Hope in the mid-’80s. All along, while loving his ability to pen catchy-as-hell tunes, redolent of classic power-pop influences, I’ve been aware that his lyric writing falls short of his melodic gifts. Keene takes much from his ‘60s and ‘70s musical heroes —as demonstrated by 2013 covers album, Excitement at Your Feet—but not their ability to use music as a vehicle for honest personal expression. His latest album, Laugh in the Dark, is par for the course. Still a fan, though! JEFF ROSENBERG. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Arrington de Dionysio, Clown Car, Corum, Dolphin Midwives

[PSYCHOTROPIC PUNK] Dolphin Midwives are New Age in spirit, yet devotionally improvisational in performance, as a two-piece of ambient guitar and hypnotic harp guiding the meditation. The mellow dronescapes will be complemented by the avant-supergroup known as Clown Car, featuring members of the Tenses and the yogic harshnoise explorations of MSHR. Be sure to catch Magic Mirror, an audiovisual trance-warrior presentation of Grant Corum of Million Brazilians, along with the Javanese throatsinging and clarinet clairvoyance of K Records’ Arrington de Dionyso. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Xchurch, 4550 NE 20th Ave. 7:30 pm. Donations accepted. All ages.

SUNDAY, FEB. 7 Sabertooth Micro Festival: Built to Spill, Mikal Cronin Duo, Heron Oblivion, Brett Netson & Snakes

[NORTHWEST GUITAR HERO] Indie-rock lifer Built to Spill is comfort food for anyone who grew up in the ‘90s listening to alternative music. The Boise-based band, led by flannel-clad singer-guitar maestro Doug Martsch, is kind of like the Pacific Northwest’s own version of Crazy Horse, with an expansive and sometimes jammy sound built on Martsch’s angel-soft voice and windswept guitar solos. Built to Spill have been headlining shows at the Crystal Ballroom for nearly 20 years now, but this isn’t just pure nostalgia—last year’s Untethered Moon, the group’s first record in six years, is also the best thing they’ve made since the Bush administration. Sure, we all want to hear “Carry the Zero,” but new songs like “Living Zoo” deserve a spot on your next your Spotify playlist, too. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-0047. 6:30 pm. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

A Conversation With Pussy Riot

[RA RA RIOT] If punk rock is about disrupting the status quo and showing no regard for the consequences, then Moscow’s Pussy Riot has every other punk band beat by a country mile—or whatever unit of measure exists to gauge a two-year stint in a Russian prison. Never mind that most of the world couldn’t name one of its songs to save themselves from Putin’s gulag; there’s only about nine of them, anyway. And really, the group is less a traditional “band” than a Situationist art troupe, for which music is a tool for protest, not the protest itself. In its guerrilla-style performance pieces, which it cuts into videos and uploads to YouTube, its Brit-punk-inspired screeds—targeting the sexism and fascism of Vladimir Putin’s presidency-cum-dictatorship—are secondary to the mere sight of women bombarding the public sphere and screaming in the face of oppression. One such performance, held in a church shortly after Putin’s re-election in 2012, ended with three members arrested on charges of “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred.” The subsequent convictions of Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina generated international media attention (forcing cable newscasters to intone the words “Pussy Riot” on the air, a victory on its own), and turned the band into a global feminist cause célèbre. After being granted amnesty, Tolokonnikova and Alyokhina split from the collective, embracing their widened platform to speak out against human rights abuses. But they didn’t just retire to the comfort of the lecture circuit: In early 2014, the pair donned their signature brightly colored dresses and ski masks to confront police at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, and were whipped and pepper-sprayed. Tonight, the women—it’s unclear who or how many—appear in Portland for a moderated discussion with OPB’s John Sepulvado and singer Storm Large. Some may quibble about the ticket price, but if you’ve got the chance to engage with one of the millennium’s most radical cultural forces, it’s probably worth skipping a few lunches. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm Tuesday, Feb. 9. $39.50 advance, $45 day of show. All ages.


Marie Black, Amanda Sloane

[SPONTANEOUS COMPOSITION] Marie Black has gone from conventional singer-songwriter to a performer who combines storytelling, “spontaneous composition” and audience participation. Influenced by ambient musicians like Brian Eno, Juana Molina and her mentor, singer and vocal improviser Bobby McFerrin, Black brings musical and thematic ideas to the stage, opens with a monologue, then constructs meditative grooves and improvises vocals live in the moment, bringing the audience into the creative process by conducting their singing too. Following last fall’s similarly inspired Shake the Water, she returns to the monthly Cadence Festival of the Unknown with a new show, Wolves, You & I, that explores the theme of ancestral roots and legacy, abetted by Boaz Martin on tabla, trumpeter Ian Westbrook and drummer Kairos des Rosiers— plus the audience, of course. BRETT CAMPBELL. Classic Pianos, 3003 SE Milwaukie Ave., 239-9969. 8 pm Thursday, Feb. 4. All ages.

The Planets

[20TH-CENTURY CLASSIC] This is that rare and magical unicorn of programs, in which the Oregon Symphony leaves the Baroque behind glass and focuses its power on freer modern styles. Stravinsky’s early, four-minute Fireworks kicks things off with bluster. Then, young Russian pianist Natasha Paremski sits in to perform Paul Schoenfield’s careening 1975 tribute to the darkness and light of life and death, Four Parables for Piano and Orchestra. The grand event is Gustav Holst’s epic The Planets, conducted by Carlos Kalmar, being performed in Portland for the first time in 13 years. Holst’s music of the spheres is among the earliest heavy metal: “Mars, the Bringer of War” is the opening act in this seven-movement suite, and its bombast and power will shake the Schnitz. It will be glorious. NATHAN CARSON. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, 8 pm Monday, Feb. 6-8. $23-$125. All ages.

Hideki Yamaya & Mara Winter

[FRENCH BAROQUE AND BOOZE] Both Seattle and Portland have developed strong historically informed music scenes, and more and more the musicians are collaborating in performances on instruments and in the styles used by the composers. This time, Musica Maestrale leader and Baroque mandolinist and lutenist Hideki Yamaya joins Olympia, Wash., Baroque flutist Mara Winter playing music written during the reign of Louis XIV, France’s Sun King, by composers like Philidor, Boismortier and Hotteterre. The intimate event also includes a historical French imbibing menu planned by Seattle “cocktail magician” Johnny Delacy. As for food? Let them eat cake. BRETT CAMPBELL. Curiosity Crossing, 403 SE Caruthers St., No. 102. 8 pm Monday, Feb. 8. $20 suggested donation, $30 includes one drink.

Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn

[DUELING BANJOS] Husband-andwife duo Béla Fleck and Abigail Washburn have more talent between their 20 fingers than some labels have in their catalog. Fleck, widely regarded as one of the most proficient and dextrous banjoists in the world, needs little introduction, but Washburn—who specializes in the old-timey clawhammer banjo—adds an extremely capable layer of strumming, as well as softly cooing, birdlike vocals. The two started playing together years ago as folk-loving musicians at guitar meet-ups and have been touring as a duo, in between a slew of side projects, ever since. MARK STOCK. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Feb. 9. $25-$45. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit



Kyle Craft WHO: Kyle Craft (vocals, various instrumentation), Haven Multz (drums), Mayhaw Hoons (bass), Jeremy Kale Padot (guitar), Ben Steinmetz (organ), Dan Talmadge (piano).

FOR FANS OF: The War on Drugs, Dr. Dog, Violent Femmes SOUNDS LIKE: A freight train in a hurricane conducted by the bastard, absinthe frappe-drunk son of Rolling Thunder Revue-era Bob Dylan. Kyle Craft arrived in Portland from Louisiana in 2013—heartbroken and dejected, with nothing but a friend’s cellphone number and a head full of songs. After the end of an eight-year romantic relationship and an even longer musical partnership, Craft moved to Oregon without thinking much about it, and hasn’t looked back. “I couldn’t tell if something was pulling me out here,” he says, “or if something back home was pushing me out.” At the time, Craft had a new album already written, but he’d consistently failed in his attempts to commit it to record, both in Louisiana and in his visits to his now-adopted home. “Whenever I came up here before, I would fail at recording,” he says. “Even living under a pool table, I ran out of money.” Settling in Portland for good, he upgraded to sleeping on the floor in a friend’s game room, and set himself on a mission to finally record his songs. After linking up with local band Animal Eyes, which he knew from previous tours, Craft was able to plug into the scene, assemble a new live band and finally start recording. Dolls of Highway, out April 29, is the fruit of Craft’s transient, single-minded efforts. The album—mixed by Helio Sequence’s Brandon Summers and Benjamin Weikel but otherwise written, performed and produced entirely by Craft—tilts and tumbles through a sort of bipolar history of one guy’s long passage to get where he’s going. One moment he’s pining adoringly to a simple harmonica melody (“Balmorhea”), then shrieking vitriol shortly through a chorus of his own voice the next (“Lady of the Ark”). Though Craft follows the tradition of tempestuous guys with acoustic guitars and a penchant for cheap bourbon, he’s at least studied and well-rehearsed enough to fill his debut with layers of instrumentation in precisely poignant places. It’s hard to imagine all the sounds coming from a single source, but he manages to use the means of overdub to symphonic ends. If his intention was to spin rowdy, confessional honky-tonk yarns upbeat enough to soundtrack a barroom brawl, then maybe all the local guitar-toting transplants will start sleeping under gaming tables, if only for the experience. “I don’t write fiction,” he says. “It’s not some fairy tale or some dream world. I like to dive into a situation and not only witness but feel the fucked-up parts. That’s where I find my inspiration— by diving into these things.” CRIS LANKENAU. SEE IT: Kyle Craft plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Boone Howard and Laura Palmer’s Death Parade, on Sunday, Feb. 7. 9 pm. $5. 21+. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



presented by

Willamette Week at Holocene



Waltzing In The Deep A GUIDE TO THE UNRELEASED ELLIOTT SMITH SONGS ON THE HEAVEN ADORES YOU SOUNDTRACK. Elliott Smith was not Tupac. He recorded a lot during his lifetime, but in the decade since his death, a relatively paltry amount of unheard material has made it out of his vault. But in the process of making Heaven Adores You, the excellent documentary about the adored singer-songwriter’s life, the producers turned up a trove of undiscovered music—demos, sketches and alternate versions, stretching as far back as Smith’s teenage years. On Feb. 5, those songs will be released as a companion soundtrack to the film. Here, Kevin Moyer—the film’s music supervisor and an acquaintance of Smith’s from when they both attended Lincoln High School in Portland—discusses the album’s standout deep cuts. Read the full track-by-track guide at

“Untitled Melancholy Song,” 1993 This song comes from the same cassette as “Last Call” during the Roman Candle era. I love this one—all the changes throughout. It has so many different parts that we could have used this anywhere in the film, really, and we only used a small part of it. Also note that the soundtrack’s opening two recordings are unfinished instrumentals that represent a world of music where Elliott’s voice is missing, and that is really fucking sad. “Christian Brothers” with Heatmiser), 1995


This is Elliott with Heatmiser doing an unreleased full-band version of his solo song “Christian Brothers.” Sam Coomes is playing bass on this one. The band recorded it during the sessions for Mic City Sons, but it was not mixed at that time because by then Elliott had decided to use his solo version on his second solo album. Tony Lash mixed this version after Larry Crane dug it up from the archives. I really love all the layers and waves of warm sound that it becomes.

“Hamburgers” (performed with Neil Gust), 1995

This unreleased track was recorded at the Heatmiser House’s temporary studio. Neil Gust of Heatmiser is on drums and Elliott is on keys. I love this one because you would never know it was Elliott or Neil. It sounds more like Money Mark and the Beastie Boys. Just a fun improv jam, of which Neil had no recollection when I asked him.

DJ Lamar LeRoy The Last Artful, Dodgr Coco Columbia Rare Diagram

“Coast to Coast” (early version), 1995-96

Another example of Elliott’s recycling. This is a very early and unreleased version of “Coast to Coast” that would later be posthumously released on the album From a Basement on the Hill. This one starts off with similar lyrics to the released version. The lyrics are the same for about the first verse or so, but other than that the rest of the words are almost completely different from the two versions. He mentions “Mary,” who appears in many other songs, and instead of “still you’re keepin’ me around,” he sings, “Go home, go home.”

“True Love,” 2001

This was one of the songs that Elliott would often demo and play after hours at [L.A. club] Largo when hanging out with friend and owner Mark Flanagan and musician Jon Brion. This was recorded around the time Elliott and Jon Brion went into a small studio to record the track, partially as an attempt to help Elliott get to focus on non-drug activity. I’ve heard, I think, two or three different versions of this song, and the lyrics evolved and shifted from a love interest to a major drug interest instead.

“I Love My Room,” 1985

This was recorded in spring of 1985 in Portland, recorded partly in the basement of Garrick Duckler’s parent’s house, during a time when Elliott was looking to get his own apartment. Garrick was a friend from high school who would write and record with Elliott under the moniker of Stranger Than Fiction and other names. We thought it might be from that, but Garrick says it isn’t a Stranger Than Fiction song, so I think it is just a really young Elliott track. We used it early in the film and then also at the end of the movie during the credits, but I put it at the end of the album since it is so long and just kind of seemed out of place in terms of album flow among all the other more mature stuff. I think also the intention is to send the listener away with that aural sense of young innocence and purity, pointing back to how Elliott began and what he always was—someone’s brother, someone’s son, someone’s childhood friend. And, if you listen to the very, very end, even after it seems like the song is over, you hear this haunting part of Elliott singing, “See you in a while my baby/ See you under the willow tree,” which then fades away. I think that last line makes for a good, final sentiment of goodbye from Elliott.


HEAR IT: Heaven Adores You (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) is out Feb. 5. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


MUSIC CALENDAR WED. FEB. 3 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Mark Hummel’s Blues Harmonica Blowout

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St SHEL • Moody Little Sister • Jordan Harris

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Orion

Black Water Bar

835 NE Broadway St. RVIVR, Dead Cult, Blowout


350 West Burnside The Peculiar Pretzelmen with Three for Silver

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St Tor Miller

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Arthur Moore; Blues Jam


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Justin Klump

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge


Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Los Dos

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St Miller and Sasser’s Twelve Dollar Band!

McMenamins Al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave Chris Couch of World’s Finest

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Bands for Bernie: 1939 Ensemble, Dead Man Talking, Months, The Fourth Wall

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Dead Meadow, Cambrian Explosion, Will, Time Rift

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont Rubedo + Strange Wool + guests

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Kris Orlowski

THURS. FEB. 4 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St Morgan James

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Black Snake

Classic Pianos

3003 SE Milwaukie Ave. Marie Black, Amanda Sloane

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Dr. Dog, Hop Along

Doug Fir

830 East Burnside Street Peter Bradley Adams

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Peter Bradley Adams at Doug Fir Lounge


1001 SE Morrison St WL, Tender Age, Haste, DJ Honey O

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Andy Frost

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St


Cahalen Morrison and Country Hammer, Zach Bryson

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St McDougall, Joe Kaplow (Santa Cruz)

For more listings, check out


[FEB. 3-9] Kyle Craft // Boone Howard // Laura Palmer’s Death Parade


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave Magic Men

The Blue Room Bar

8145 SE 82nd Ave. Bill Coones Trio - Swing and Jazz Standards Band

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Futurebirds, Susto, Dogheart

The Know


Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Redwood Son

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave Hoodie Allen


Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Karaoke From Hell

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave The Mutineers // Molly Dechenne // Dashel Millihart

The Planets

The Know

Doug Fir


350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

2026 NE Alberta St ICE PRINCESS

830 East Burnside Street Panic Is Perfect / Anya Marina

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Baby & The Pearl Blowers, Everything’s Jake


The White Eagle

Hatfield Hall

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Groovy Wallpaper with Rob Wynia

836 N Russell St Kelly Bosworth

1111 SW Broadway Noontime Showcase: Sally Harmon

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Rival Sons, Mount Holly

FRI. FEB. 5 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Rare Diagram

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Rock Gaga

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave Cat Hoch, And And And, Ice Queens

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Sabertooth Music Festival: Super Furry Animals, Earth & King Black Acid

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Knocks, Cardiknox, Fog Father

DRONING DISCOURSE: All forms of protest and their respective levels of efficacy are debatable, but it’s especially puzzling to wonder if a scrubby group of Canadians making harrowing, entirely instrumental rock music can advocate for social change. In the decade since I last saw the band live, Godspeed You! Black Emperor has certainly lightened up, and I mean that almost literally. Its 2002 live show was an epic but mysterious affair where the musicians were rendered as shadowy figures on a stage illuminated only partially by the anti-war film projections behind them. At the sold-out Wonder Ballroom on Jan. 31, half the band walked onto the lit stage to fiddle with pedal boards and check instrument cables before the lights were dimmed and the show commenced. Has revolution gone soft? Once GY!BE officially started, though, shit got dramatic very quickly. A drone set the mood as band members crept onstage one by one, assisting in building the sound of one bass-heavy note on a loop into an absolutely staggering wall of symphonic noise. When it finally reached its crescendo, the crowd was elated to hear the familiar notes of “Storm” that opens breakthrough album Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven. By the time the band got through Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress—played almost in its entirety—it began to feel like coming down from an especially intense trip. There’s no overt message in the show. There’s beauty, drama and potential hearing damage, but aside from projected images of police lights or protestors being herded and dispersed, anyone not already familiar with the band’s politics would be confused. Because the music is so unbelievably moving, it is nearly impossible not to search for the inherent conflict or message. But GY!BE doesn’t make it obvious. The band just comes out and makes something intensely pleasurable and temporary, and hopes we all take the lead from there. CRIS LANKENAU.

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave JT Wise Band

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Midnight Serenadors


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Anita Margarita & The RattleSnakes

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge


Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny “Dusty Santamaria’s Lazy Suicide: A Variety Show”.

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St Criminal Guitars/ Moondrake/ Warpfire

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St Mamma Coal and Steely Pete

Lincoln Recital Hall at PSU

1620 SW Broadway Oregon Guitar Quartet

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. The Junebugs

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Jack & Jack, Daya

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Logic, Dizzy Wright

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Mickey Avalon & Dirt Nasty

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St. Honey Bucket, The Staches

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Lessons In Fresh

TUES. FEB. 9 Crystal Ballroom

Roseland Theater


8 NW 6th Ave Lettuce; Skate Maloley & Derek Luh (Peter’s Room)

Vie de Boheme

Star Theater

Winningstad Theatre

13 NW 6th Ave BRAZILIAN CARNAVAL 2016 presented by z’Bumba

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Sorta Ultra//Sin City Ramblers//The Antelopers

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St LUBEC

The Liquor Store 3341 SE Belmont Uplift

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St The Barn Door Slammers; Kris Deelane and the Hurt, The Low Bones, Ashleigh Flynn

The Smart Collective

6923 SE Foster RD. LiquidLight, Naked Hour, San Lorenzo

The White Eagle

836 N Russell St The Voodoo Ladyboys

Turn Turn Turn

8 NE Killingsworth St

1530 SE 7th Ave Fiona Boyes

1111 SW Broadway ANDY MCKEE

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St STICK FIGURE

SAT. FEB. 6 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Bart Budwig

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway The Planets

Artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd Dave Mullany & Kevin Selfe

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Kilty by Association

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave Frog Eyes

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St.

Sabertooth Micro Festival Day 2: Red Fang, Yob, Witch Mountain, World’s Finest, Eternal Tapestry


350 West Burnside Jon Wayne & the Pain

Doug Fir

830 East Burnside Street Metts, Ryan and Collins; School of Rock Portland presents: Queen

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Radio Giants


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. The Columbians

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St Jujuba!

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Mark Savage Hosts

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St Anita Margarita and The Rattle Snakes; Denver; Neon Stars

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd The Toasters / The Sentiments / Heavy City

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. Troye Sivan, Allie X

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave A Benefit for the Brian Grant Foundation

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Folkslinger + TH Thunder

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Kinski, Abronia, Lithics

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Tommy Keene, Eyelids, Zebra Hunt

The White Eagle


4550 NE 20th Ave. Arrington de Dionysio, Clown Car, Corum, Dolphin Midwives

SUN. FEB. 7 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway The Planets

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash The Carotids, Broken Bodies, Drag Rag, Wolf Fang Fist.

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St A Conversation with Pussy Riot

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave New Iberians


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. The Earnest Lovers

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. G. Love & Special Sauce, Ripe

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Grimms Gathering with Jakob Grimm

836 N Russell St Joe Marson; Reverb Brothers

1332 W Burnside St Sabertooth Music Festival: Built To Spill, Mikal Cronin & Snakes

LaurelThirst Public House

Vie de Boheme


Mississippi Studios

Wonder Ballroom

Landmark Saloon

Newmark Theatre

1530 SE 7th Ave Dusu Mali Band

128 NE Russell St Mysti Krewe of Nimbus 6th Annual Mardi Gras Ball

World Famous Cannabis Cafe 7958 SE Foster RD Kelsey and The Next Right Thing

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Vince Brown 4847 SE Division St Ian Miller and Friends!

McMenamins Al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave Sean Badders (of the Quick and Easy Boys)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave

2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw

3939 N Mississippi Ave Ryan Montbleau Band 1111 SW Broadway Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St HOUSEBOY (RI)

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Joytribe

Where to drink this week. 1. Great Notion Brewing

2204 NE Alberta St., No. 101, 548-4491, greatnotionpdx. Great Notion offers something Alberta has never seen: a solid beer bar, with its own house brews filling the taps with three excellent and brightly citric IPAs, a nicely yeasty saison and a wonderful Berliner Weisse comparatively hefty at 5 percent ABV.



2. Pocket Pub

2719 NE 7th Ave., 287-3645, The former Slice pizzeria has been resurrected under new owners as exactly what its Eliot neighborhood needed: a very tiny bar that is middle-class but not stuffy and is as comfortable as your living room.

3. Ben’s Bottle Shop

8052 E Mill Plain Blvd., Vancouver, 360-314-6209, If you live in Portland’s far Northeast, your best bet for good beer may be in Vancouver—in part because some beers don’t distribute to Oregon. The newly opened Ben’s is a sports bar with massive screens, 24 taps of craft brews, and cases of beer bottles that stretch for yards.

4. Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd., 286-4788, Skyline Tavern’s clientele goes like this: millionaire, poor person, construction worker, millionaire. It might as well be a Depression-era painting from the Federal Art Project.

5. Saraveza

1004 N Killingsworth St., 206-4252, Saraveza’s new Wisconsin-themed house beer, the Breakside-brewed Wisco Tavern, is a smooth cream ale that comes alive with a sprinkle of hoppy bitterness. “Froth and bitterness” is, of course, also the motto for Green Bay’s season.

RIBS, EH: Morrison Street’s Morrison Hotel—which, like Jim Morrison himself, sort of let itself go—stopped accepting guests last November. Well, show me the way to the next beer bar. The Morrison’s successor, Home (719 SE Morrison St., 893-5233,, now has one of the better tap lists in the Central Eastside. Locals like Pfriem and Upright share tap space with California imports Ballast Point and Firestone Walker, on a party strip of bars better known for stiff drinks and working stiffs gripping PBRs. The decor at Home is not overwhelmingly homey, however. After a very fast turnaround, the box of a bar reopened with just a fresh coat of beige-ish paint and a few framed paintings. The many scattered TVs are tuned to pro sports or Turner Classic Movies, so it’s possible to see the Gipper watching in awe as the Carolina Panthers play. But the food is homestyle enough. Owned by food-cart blogger Brett Burmeister and Bro-Dogs owner Scott Smith, Home slings Dirty Burgers ($11-$12) stacked with sauce and bacon, a thick pastrami-corned beef Reuben ($12) and a Dude dog ($12) built with not only two types of bacon, but three kinds of processed cheese. But order the bar’s idiosyncratic take on poutine ($10)—waffle fries and curds topped with mounds of saucy short-rib meat. It’s a lot like what would happen if Memphis invaded Canada. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St 50: A Possible History of Dance Music with DJs Freaky Outty, Cooky Parker and Gregarious

Lovecraft Bar

WED. FEB. 3 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon (industrial, EBM, electro)

Plew’s Brew’s

8409 N Lombard St Wiggle Room (electronica, disco, house, hip-hop, downtempo)

THURS. FEB. 4 Euphoria Nightclub


Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (EBM/goth/ industrial/darkwave) Panic Room 3100 NE Sandy Blvd House Call with Richie Staxx (house)

FRI. FEB. 5 Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave


Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Death Trip w/ DJ Tobias (Garage, psyche, post punk, goth and death rock)


1001 SE Morrison St Yes Please!: Laura Lynn, Vera Rubin, Sappho (house, techno, deep disco)

421 SE Grand Ave MISPRID presents Expressway to Yr Skull


3967 N. Mississippi Ave DJ Roane Plew’s Brews 8409 N Lombard St. All the Colors of the Dark V: Quiet!, Introvert, Baron von Helwig

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Aaliyah x Outkast: Duncan Gerow, Lamar LeRoy, B’Hammered, Ancehoic

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont WAVES: Kellan Wolfkin, Jake McGeorge, Matthew McFerrin

SUN. FEB. 7 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Buckmaster presents Sad

MON. FEB. 8 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Cory (rockin’ Dokken)

The Liquor Store 3341 SE Belmont Uplift

World Famous Cannabis Cafe 7958 SE Foster RD DJ Brain Food

SAT. FEB. 6 Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ ( Comedy: MIKE ACKER ( Dance: ENID SPITZ ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:


Each year, Profile Theatre highlights the work of a different playwright. This year’s selection is Tanya Barfield, a Pulitzer Prize-nominated Portland-born playwright. Barfield explores the gap between the first and third world in her play about a couple who discover they can’t have kids of their own and decide to adopt a two-year-old child from Africa. Extra shows 11 am Wednesday, Feb. 10, and 7:30 pm Wednesday, Feb. 17. SOPHIA JUNE. Profile Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Feb. 4-21. $38, $20 under 30.


The Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris is famous as the final resting spot for some of history’s most famous artists, and it’s the jumping-off point for Pulitzer finalist Dael Orlandersmith’s one-woman show. Walking through the graves conjures up her memories of growing up with an alcoholic mother. The raw and emotional tell-all won praise from The New Yorker when it opened off-Broadway last spring. Domestic trials, confessional monologues, pathos for the well-educated—PCS has a formula. That said, it normally adds up. Ellyn Bye Studio at the Armory, 128 NW 11 Ave., 445-7300. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, noon Thursday and 2 pm SaturdaySunday. Feb. 5-March 20. $40. 16+.

I Should Have Had a Party For all the Thoughts I Didn’t Say

Besides a physical and metaphorical goodbye, a funeral may as well be a party for everything you never said. This site-specific, interdisciplinary show combines Russian music, dance and theater to explore the idea of remembrance, ceremony and things left unsaid in the form of a funeral party for Anton Chekov. Theater people know Chekov used his words sparingly. But even for a playwright who created some of the world’s most famous plays, there is still so much left to say in a life. Source Material Collective have devised this show as a love letter to Chekov. The subject isn’t surprising; the show’s director, Samantha Shay, became inspired by Russian theater when she studied at Moscow Art Theatre. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2301. 8 pm Thursday-Tuesday, Feb. 4-9. $15.

Mustache Party!

Subtitled The Salvador Dalí Show, this nontraditional theater experience, set in the speakeasy-like Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, blends Dalí’s surreal style with a commedia dell’arte. A slapstick trio called Box of Clowns hosts the show. When asked about its format, their answer: “it’s a party!” Which begs the question, how would Dalí party? SOPHIA JUNE. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, SE 2nd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard. 2 pm Saturday, Feb. 6 & 13, and 7 pm Sunday, Feb. 7 & 14. $10.

Pilot Season: Doomageddon

Every year, Action/Adventure hosts four aspiring playwrights for four weekends of four brand new shows. Audiences pick their favorite at the end, and it wins a full run. Doomageddon is third—it’s an absurdist, black comedy that’s packaged as an educational children’s show. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, Feb. 4-7. $12-$15.

Richard III

Shakespeare’s addled king gets squeezed into a 20-seat underground arts club in this classic literature remake from the Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven’s artistic directors. They’re playing up the psychological and bloody aspects of the play, and using the tight space to mix audience members and actors. If Shakespeare isn’t your usual cut, you might try again. This “boutique theater” does performances unlike anywhere else in town, and they leave an impact—for better or worse. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, SE 2nd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, Feb. 5-27. $10-$22.

What Every Girl Should Know

1914. Catholic girls reformatory. Masturbation. There are things that every girl should know, and when a newcomer named Joan brings Margaret Sanger’s writings and birth control tips to three budding teens, she spurs an unholy mess. Triangle theater likes their plays to include penises, sparkles and politics— as many as possible, as often as possible. Planned Parenthood is pairing with the theater for a talkback after the show Sunday, Feb. 21. The Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, and Sunday, Feb. 14 & 21. Through Feb. 27. $15-$35.

You For Me For You

When one oddball young couple hosts another for dinner, they tell a morbid joke to entertain themselves: the trunk in the living room holds the remains of wife Sarah’s co-worker, Mr. Kolpert. Darkly comedic and weirdly political, David Gieselmann’s play makes you wonder if there’s truth to the joke. The London shows drew comparisons to Hitchcock and Tarantino, which fits with Third Rail’s preference for giving suburban themes a sharp twist. Imago artistic director Scott Yarbrough directs, carrying through a lot of cast and crew from last year’s Static. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 235-1101. 7:30 Wednesday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Feb. 5-27. $42.50.

A supernatural and emotional tale of two North Korean sisters who are separated at the border while fleeing to America. Minhee falls down a dry well and is trapped in North Korea while her sister, Junhee, escapes, only to find a baffling brave new world in the U.S. KoreanAmerican playwright Mia Chung tries to make her plays “magical realism,” making the U.S. look especially like a rat race and North Korea like a labyrinth—the London premiere last December used a mirrored, hexagonal set. Chung came to Portland for rehearsals with the cast, who are all newcomers to the Portland Playhouse stage. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Feb. 5-28. $32-$36.

Much Ado About Nothing


Mr. Kolpert

Twilight Theater Company transplants Much Ado from 16th-century Italy to rural, millennial Texas, but stays true to the tangled web of the plot. Two couples in conflicted love bumble through a series of hits and misses, and folk songs of varying quality, much like the theater itself. Twilight Theater Company, 7515 N Brandon Ave., 8479838. 8 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 5-27. $15.


Great Expectations

Expectations are exactly what you have when going to Portland largest and most polished theater. And Great Expectations delivers, with panache. The adaptation, originally commissioned by Seattle’s Book-It Repertory Theatre, is surprisingly light for a 3-hour, melancholy Dickens tale about a downtrodden orphan named Pip. That’s thanks to New York’s Stephen

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

POINTED: PDX Contemporary Ballet.


Morphing From Moxie ONE BALLET CRASHED, AND BURNED ITS DANCERS. SO THEY STARTED THEIR OWN COMPANY. Briley Neugebauer and her fellow dancers at Moxie Contemporary Ballet had a great gig at Portland’s newest, body-positive ballet—until the company suddenly shut down and owner Gina Candland disappeared without paying her dancers or instructors, or issuing refunds to angry parents who had paid over $2,000 in tuition. Dancers scrambled midseason to find work. A Kansas loan company sued Candland and her husband, Joseph, for over $93,000. Moxie’s former director of development attempted to sue the couple for libel. And Neugebauer disappeared from the dance scene. As it turns out, she was busy building her own company from the ashes. Six months later, Neugebauer and a company entirely of ex-Moxie dancers that calls itself PDX Contemporary Ballet is debuting with an aptly titled show. “Metamorphosis represents our journey through rebirth,” the show description reads, “how we need to feel love and purpose as we move forward from sometimes difficult and hurtful situations.” WW talked with Neugebauer about Moxie and making a company without money. ENID SPITZ. WW: Moxie was a big scandal in July, when the company suddenly closed and Gina Candland left for California. Did you see that coming? Briley Neugebauer: We just showed up, and the doors were locked and she’d disappeared. None of us got paid. I heard a lot of rumors and talk about lawsuits, but I just stepped away and really have no idea what’s going on with that. It sounded like maybe they didn’t pay their rent. How did you and the other dancers recover? At first, I didn’t dance or even take classes. I didn’t go to shows or anything for a while, because I was nervous about how the community would react to me. I mean, I was on the Moxie posters and everything. The dance world can be brutal. But when I did get back into it, everyone met me with a lot of sympathy.

You were still without a company, though. What made you decide to form one? Myself, Joanna Hardy and Emily Schultz did, and six other dancers. They were all somehow in Moxie, either as dancers or in the intensive study program. They came from all over the nation to sign on for that. But we loved what we were doing—the dancing—with Moxie. So when it disappeared, we got together and made PDX Contemporary Ballet. Finding space and funding was hard even for established companies like Polaris or Conduit in 2015—how did you manage? I licensed PDX Contemporary in September, right after Moxie, so we’re officially an Oregon nonprofit. But it’s all on a volunteer basis. So, no one gets paid? No. We all do it because we want to. Right now, we’re the resident dance company at Alberta Abbey, which has been wonderful and let us use the space. We are doing a trade and working with them to set up dance classes there. Without money, you got five local choreographers to produce new works, and a full weekend run. How? Costumes are whatever the choreographers want to provide, I guess. Otherwise, it’s what’s in the dancers’ closets. We’re lucky that the Abbey is already set up with lights and a stage. Do you have plans to do a whole season? We want to make contemporary ballet a thing in the Northwest, to perform contemporary works en pointe. Only a handful of companies in North America are doing it: Lines in San Francisco, Complexions in Atlanta, Charlotte Ballet in North Carolina, and Ballet Next in New York. We’re still just starting up, so we’re very tentative about promising too much. SEE IT: Metamorphosis is at Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Feb. 5-7. $15.

PAT R I C K W E I S H A M P E L / B L A N K E Y E .T V

GREAT EXPECTATIONS: Stephen Stocking (left) and Isaac Lamb. Stocking, who embodies 7-year-old Pip with all the wide-eyed and dramatic quirkiness of a British starveling. By the end, Pip is 23 and Stocking has appeared in every scene of the long show—but thanks to the actor’s vivacity, we’re not tired of either. He’s helped by an armada of special effects and a looming set that looks like Disney’s Frontierland meets The Addams Family—a labyrinth of wooden stairs, a rotating clock that’s multiple stories tall and covered in cobwebs and plenty of smoke and spotlights. But the real star is the script, as it should be. Rather than straight dialogue, the characters narrate themselves. It could seem like a cop-out to use Dickens’ writing instead of adapt it fully, but as the characters segue seamlessly between lines of dialogue and speaking what Dickens wrote, it adds humor to what could be the doldrums of classic British literature. From the dark opening in a foggy graveyard, Pip is doomed to endless trials. Sad for the little orphan, a lot of fun for us to watch. Extra show noon Wednesday, Feb. 10. ENID SPITZ. Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, noon Thursday, through Feb. 14. $25-$70.


Violin and prizefighting are cousin crafts, at least for 1930s legend Joe Bonaparte. In this 1937 Broadway classic by Clifford Odets, Joe seems golden as a violin prodigy, until the glamour of the ring ropes him in. Lakewood—the little Oswego theater that could—might be playing it safe here, but they’re planning a strong showing at the Fertile Ground Festival later this month, so this is a good chance for diehard grounders to test the waters at their home base. Extra shows 7 pm Sunday, Jan.17 and 7:30 pm Wednesday, Jan. 20. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through Feb. 14. $32.

Geronimo Stilton: Mouse in Space

Oregon Children’s Theatre stages the epic space journey of Geronimo, star rodent of Elisabetta Dami’s Geronimo Stilton book series. When evil forces attack his home in New Mouse City, Geronimo lives up to his name (first, not last) and gets launched into space to head the rescue mission. Low income students get a free ticket and a book to bring home as part of the Ticket to Read program. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturday, 11 am and 2 pm Sunday, through Feb. 14. $18-$32.

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Six awkward tweens vie for first place in what’s become American pop culture’s most famous spelling bee. The Tony-winner is pure family theater, essentially a singalong about how to come of age,

cope with the ’rents and take losing in stride. Annie Kaiser directs, reaching for another Drammy nod to follow last years’, and the adult cast is mainly children’s theater veterans, or newcomers making the jump from Lake Oswego’s small Lakewood Theatre. Broadway Rose Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, through Feb. 28. $20-$44.

COMEDY & VARIETY The Benefits of Gusbandry Premiere Party

The feminist, LGBTQ, post-marriage comedy series The Benefits of Gusbandry premieres its fourth episode, “Gateway Gays,” starring YouTube star Paige McKenzie of The Haunting of Sunshine Girl. The first three episodes will play before four drops, and creator Alicia J. Rose will be there, doing snacks and drinks with Brooke Totman of MADtv and Kurt Conroyd of Wild. Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi Ave., 234-7837. 7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 5. Free.

Curious Comedy Open Mic

Sign up start at 7:15, and every comic gets a tight three minutes onstage in this weekly show hosted by Andie Main. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 8 pm Sundays. Free.

Curious Comedy Showdown featuring Pipes

It’s a musical, a comedy and an improv show all in one, where the audience suggests a subject and Curious Comedy’s in-house ensemble riffs it into a full performance. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 29. $12-$15.

Dave Attell

There are very few comics who have logged as many hours being hilarious as Dave Attell. With hit shows like Insomniac and Dave’s Old Porn, appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman and Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and even a memorable appearance as himself playing Tobias on Arrested Development, Dave Attell has a résumé that rivals that of any professional joke teller. Attell comes to town for a six-show, three-night run that continues the trend of all-star comedy in Portland in 2016. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 and 10 pm Thursday, Feb. 4, 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, Feb. 5-6. $32$40. 21+.

The Dirty Dozen

Once again, the time has come to see just how far you are willing to go for a laugh. Hosted by local funnyman Jacob Christopher, the Dirty Dozen brings together twelve of Portland’s best joke tellers to tell you the kind of jokes that will make you cringe. Joining Christoper this

CONT. on page 36 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Friday Night Fights

Every first and third Friday, Curious Comedy pits two improv crews against each other and the audience picks the winner, who goes on to fight against new blood in the next round. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm first and third Fridays. $7-$10.

Jay Shingle Comedy Master

Jay Shingle has been in the ranks of some big comedy shows since moving to Portland six months ago, including the Hard Times at Kickstand with Jason Traeger and Paradox at the High Water Mark with Traeger and Christian Ricketts. Now, expanding beyond filming YouTube videos in his friend’s basement, this is his first show as host. Kickstand Comedy Space, 315 NW Davis St. 9:30 pm Wednesday, Feb. 3. Free.

Davis St., 771-6433. 8 pm Friday, Feb. 5. $10.

Sunday School

Workshop students, veteran crews and groups that pre-register online perform long form improv every Sunday. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 6 pm Sundays. $5 suggested donation.


Brody’s students showcase their improv, sketch and standup skills— a different class each week. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

Thursday Night Throwdown

Curious’ twice-monthly competition pits teams that apply in advance online against one another

for a chance to compete in Friday Night Fights the next week. It’s first come, first served, and every groups gets 17 minutes. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every second and last Thursday. Free.

DANCE Burlesque S’il Vous Plait

Every first Friday, Zora Phoenix hosts a striptease showcase of classic and neo-burlesque acts from locals and dancers just passing through. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St., 235-8510. 9 pm Friday, Feb. 5. $12-$15. 21+.

For more Performance listings, visit


time around to share their raunchiest, dirtiest and most obscene jokes will be Becky Braunstein, Hyjinx, Marcus Coleman, Katie Nguyen, Jeremy Eli, LoRain Smith, Ed Black, Jon Washington, Amanda Arnold, Curtis Cook and Nathan Brannon. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Wednesday, Feb. 3. $12-$20. 21+.

Maria Bamford

Maria Bamford is a comic like no other. She was voted one of the 50 funniest people around by Rolling Stone, her The Special Special Special was one of the top specials of 2012 according to Salon, she provides voices for animated favorites BoJack Horseman and Adventure Time and is an original member of the vaunted Comedians of Comedy group . Bamford brings her totally original comedy stylings for a special midweek engagement. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 7:15 and 9 pm Tuesday, Feb. 9. $27-$35. 21+.

Open Court

This weekly, long-form improv show combines performers from many Portland theaters and troupes. Newbies are welcome and teams are picked at random, then coached by an improv veteran before taking the stage. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.


Pro and amateur comics can bring whatever improv, video, sketch or musical act they’re working on and try it out at this late-night playground, right after the weekly Open Court show. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 9:30 pm Thursdays. Free.

Random Acts of Comedy

The Curious Comedy crew perform sketches and standup acts chosen at random by the audience. Tickets are $5 if you’re staying after seeing the night’s headliner. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm Saturdays. $7-$10.

The Ranger Station Open Mic

Sign ups start at 8 pm for a weekly open mic night hosted by Victor Johnson, set in the whiskey-heavy bar WW once compared to “a Rooseveltera public works cabin.” The Ranger Station, 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 8948455. 8:30 pm Wednesday. Free. 21+.


You’ve probably seen presentations all your life, but you’ve never seen one quite like this. Speechless puts some of the city’s best improvisers on stage with PowerPoint presentations they’ve never seen. Watch as a number of outstanding comedic actors are assigned a topic at random, TED talk, startup pitch or self-help seminar, and turn an improvised presentation into a competitive showdown. The audience selects the names for each presentation, and the performers attempt to leave the them speechless. Competing in the inaugural installment of Speechless will be Dylan Reiff, Kirsten Kuppenbender, Bri Pruutt and Jay Flewelling. Siren Theater, 315 NW


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

I WANT TO DESTROY YOU: Jacob Orr and Duffy Epstein.

In Search of the Miraculous Theatre Vertigo’s art school gets a passing grade.

Can you still consider yourself an artist if you no longer make art? That’s the heart of I Want to Destroy You, Theatre Vertigo’s thought-provoking world premiere now at Shoebox Theater. Harold (Duffy Epstein) was a famous artist, now relegated to the halls of academia. He hasn’t created a new work for years, instead spending his time shepherding grad students while he slouches into the soul-sucking process of applying for tenure. The play could’ve been a superficial glance at the conceptual art sphere, but playwright Rob Handel resists the urge to pigeonhole a pack of emo art students who wear black eyeliner to class, instead creating three unique artists-in-training—environmental activist Leaf (Shawna Nordman), try-hard Ilich (R. David Wyllie), and thoughtful but fragile Mark (Jacob Orr)—who all have their own perspective and artistic vision. The acting, though, is uneven and outsized for the Shoebox Theater’s 38 seats. Maybe a firmer directorial hand would’ve added nuance to over-loud scenes, like a one-note screaming argument. Still, Epstein is entirely believable as a man who’s settled into a life he never wanted but still cares about the outcome. And Orr, an undergraduate we should all keep an eye on, ably and repeatedly flips between vulnerability and menace after his character brings a gun to class for a performance piece. When the play strays from its central concern, following Harold out of the university and into the rest of his life, the subplot about his new roof could be cut without any detriment to the story. Instead, the classroom scenes are where the play comes alive, Noah Wesley Phillips’ elegantly spare set lit to beautiful effect by Alex Agnes, whose lighting design elevates the whole production. At the end of one such scene, Harold assigns his students a project titled In Search of the Miraculous. That is exactly what Harold— and all of us—are searching for. And despite Theatre Vertigo’s speed bumps, watching Harold come to terms with what it means to be an artist and a teacher is worth the trip. JENNIFER RABIN.

SEE IT: I Want to Destroy You is at Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 306-0870. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, through Feb. 20. $20.



I am Ai, We are Ai by Rowland Ricketts

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

Advice About Fire

At first, Amory Abbott’s series of charcoal drawings look like photo negatives. Look more closely at the ghostlike images of trees, and finely rendered details appear: charred bark, striations of gnarled wood, blades of grass in the foreground. Abbott created the series during an artist residency at Caldera in Sisters, Oregon, where the landscape is defined by wildfires. Abbott’s work captures both the devastation and the optimism of a burn by showing what was lost to the past and the new growth that succeeds it. JENNIFER RABIN. Through March 8. Stumptown Coffee Roasters, 128 SW 3rd Ave., 711-3391.


Photographer Michelle Frankfurter followed Central American migrants as they hopped train cars and slept in squalor on their way to the U.S. border, in hopes of making better lives for themselves. Frankfurter documented it all for her series Destino because she wanted “to capture the experience of people who struggle to control their own destiny when confronted by extreme circumstances.” The intimate black-and-white photos offer moments of strength and vulnerability, perseverance and weariness, sometimes in the same shot. Frankfurter uses the power of immersion photojournalism to shine a light on an important issue and reminds us that every issue, at its core, is simply a collection of personal stories. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 28. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Drawing to Planet Earth

The organic forms in Christine Bourdette’s abstract graphite and watercolor series call to mind natural phenomena formed over millenniums. Bourdette is a Portland resident and Drawing to Planet Earth is informed by the landscape of the American West. Dappled rock formations fill the background, muted and as old as time. Bright splashes of color overlaid by Bourdette’s brush remind the viewer that nothing is stagnant, everything changes. Alongside her drawings, Bourdette is showing a series of small paper sculptures that use an ephemeral material to evoke the enduring textures of the geological world. JENNIFER RABIN. Through April 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

The Emotional Life of Objects

Every object has a story. For this joint exhibit at Bullseye, mixed media artists Silvia Levenson, Dante Marioni and Heidi Schwegler unpack the complexities of “objecthood” with pieces of crafted, repurposed and combined materials like metal and ceramic. The finished works shine light on how we look at objects, making us reconsider their emotional lives, from production and function to symbolic or cultural significance. HILARY TSAI. Through March 26. Bullseye Projects, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

The Human Hybrid

An unlikely mashup of scientific journalism and high fashion, these collage works use anatomy drawings as a base. Then, artist Wangechi Mutu layers ink, cosmic paint splatters, textured fabrics and magazine cutouts to create bizarrely sexualized humanoids. Some are abstract, free-floating faces with exotic animal skin, human features and urban afros. Others are curvaceous figures labelled as though they were medical diagrams. Tumors of the Uterus is the title of one, a grotesquely swollen uterus with runwayready eyes and lips. It’s body horror at its finest (or worst), but the artist’s use of medical jargon together with the female nude creates a pushpull between pain and glamour that is not often seen. HILARY TSAI. Through March 12. 511 Gallery, 511 NW Broadway, 226-4391.

Internalized Forms

The Sockeye ad agency studio may seem like an odd venue for a solo show, but its first collaboration with Worksound International makes us hope there’s more to come. Jason Vance Dickason’s acrylic paintings are abstract with a cool, muted palette that hints at the sobriety of an internal office space. But imaginative shapes and swoops keep the work from appearing too clinical. Most visitors are drawn to the large-scale piece at the front entrance, but the real star is an untitled triptych that’s strategically placed on a blank wall and features dark, abstracted window blinds with just a touch of luminous sky peeking through. It’s ingenious how these architectural paintings hint at the space around them. HILARY TSAI. Through Feb. 28. Sockeye, 240 N Broadway, Suite 301, 226-3843.

Liz Robb Window Project

This is a good month for fiber art. And thanks to PDX Contemporary, you don’t even have to go inside a gallery to be knocked out by it. Liz Robb’s amorphous woolen forms hang in the window, viewable from the street at any hour. Robb created the sculptures during an artist residency in Iceland, using wool she purchased at gas stations and weaved on a hundred-yearold loom. Robb plays with the density of the materials, making shapes that manage to be both substantial and ethereal. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 27. PDX Contemporary, 925 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Pain Tero Flight: Contemporary Artists Consider Thomas Kinkade

It is estimated that five percent of American households contain a reproduction of one of Thomas Kinkade’s Disneyesque pastoral paintings. Kinkade denounced the elitism of the art world, opting to mass-produce his work for calendars and other things you might find at the mall. The curators at Upfor have presented eight multidisciplinary artists with the interesting task of making work in response to Kinkade’s legacy. This means grappling with art versus

commerce and examining the difference between an original and a copy. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 27. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.


Performance artist James Luna once lay in a display case in a gallery wearing nothing but a loincloth and labels describing all of his scars from drinking and fighting. In another piece, titled Take a Picture With a Real Indian, Luna offered himself up as a tourist attraction for people to take photos with. His work centers around the objectification of Native Americans and their culture. This month, Blackfish is hosting Performagraphic, an exhibition of images and artifacts from Luna’s distinguished three-decade career. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 17. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 224-2634.

Rowland Ricketts

The oceans of indigo fabric in textile artist Rowland Ricketts’ installation at the Museum of Contemporary Craft may forever redefine the color blue. Instead of using the chemically synthesized dye that is most common today, Ricketts grows the indigo himself and ferments it in lye made from wood ash. The resulting color is different from the commercial indigo we’re used to seeing, in the way that an album on vinyl sounds different from a CD: richer, more nuanced, simultaneously flawed and perfect. JENNIFER RABIN. Through June 4. Museum of Contemporary Craft, 724 NW Davis St., 223-2654. $6.

The Testament Project

Photographer Kris Graves wants us to re-examine black masculinity. When he photographs his subjects, all AfricanAmerican men, he gives them control over how they want to be lit, how they want to pose, how they want to present themselves to the world. He allows them to define their own image, a seemingly small act that has larger implications in a culture that consistently misrepresents black identity. In addition to two portrait series, The Testament Project includes video interviews with Graves’ subjects, drawing attention to the individual effects of institutionalized racism. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 28. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Unweaving the Colonial Discourse

If you think craft and conceptual art are on opposite sides of the great art chasm, Gail Tremblay’s show at Froelick will be a spectacular slap in the face. Tremblay weaves traditional Iroquois baskets out of exposed 16mm and 35mm film. Using different parts of the film stock, she creates both subdued forms and brightly colored confections. Throughout the elaborately looped vessels, images of Native children can be glimpsed next to frames from mainstream Hollywood films, asking questions about the difference between tradition and culture. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Feb. 27. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016





BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.


We drank 71

Ian Brennan in Conversation with Corin Tucker

Portland-brewed IPAs

Ian Brennan knows a thing or two about funding and disseminating art—he’s the creator of both Glee and Scream Queens Queens. In his new book, How Music Dies (or Lives): Field Recording and the Battle for Democracy in the Arts Arts, he explores how people express themselves authentically in a world full of artifice. He’ll be speaking with Corin Tucker of Sleater-Kinney. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

to pick the 10 best.



You rank the top 10. $16 for 10 samples. Food by Chicken & Guns.

Results on Feb. 24.


All details here:

Kevin Hearne

The last druid is hanging out in a bookstore in Tempe and is named Atticus O’Sullivan. In the last seven of Kevin Hearne’s magical realism novels, he’s quested for swords, banished Celtic gods and been courted by goddesses. Now, he’s traveling to Rome to fight his old vampire nemesis in Staked. Powell’s at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

Elliot Ackerman

When a bomb severely injures his brother, Aziz must join a U.S.-backed Afghani militia to save him. But just who’s fighting whom rapidly becomes unclear in Green on Blue, the debut novel from Elliot Ackerman. An eight-year veteran of both the Army infantry and the special forces, Ackerman’s writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The Atlantic and The New York Times Magazine. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Like so many writers of her generation, Marissa Meyer honed her chops writing fan fiction: in her case, of the Sailor Moon variety under the name Alicia Blade. Stars Above is her latest in the Lunar Chronicles series, the first of which was a New York Times best-seller, and is an adaptation of Cinderella into a futuristic Cinderella, replete with moon colonies, cyborg enhancements and space plagues. Powell’s at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Mean Girls Club Release Party and Exhibit with Ryan Heshka

Vancouverite Ryan Heshka has made a career dealing in the ghastly. His previous two books are called Halloween Book: ABC Spookshow and Welcome to Monster Town, so there ya go. His newest release on Nobrow Press is called Mean Girls Club, and follows the exploits of a mayhemcausing, snake-worshipping group of women. A must have for your heavily-tattooed friend in mortuary school.. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch St., 241-0227, 6:00pm, Free.

Windfall: A Journal of Poetry of Place

For more than a decade, Windfall has published place-focused poetry written in the Pacific Northwest. Co-editors Bill Siverly and Michael McDowell will be joined by Eric Le Fatte, Emily Ransdell, Marilyn Stablein and Clem Starck reading from the newest issue. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm, Free.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Marissa Meyer




Willamette Week’s

Pagan Kennedy

Pagan Kennedy has a couple of diverse claims to fame: a very cool ’80s zine, a couple of novels, a biography about the first female-to-male sex change, and a name that makes her sound like an alternate timeline member of one of America’s most powerful political families. Her new book, a riff on her most recent gig writing The New York Times Magazine’s “Who Made That?” column, is called Inventology, and explores the stories behind famous innovations. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, FEB. 9 Kathleen Dean Moore

For years, Kathleen Dean Moore taught philosophy at Oregon State University and wrote books and essays about nature. But given that said nature is increasingly imperiled each year, Moore left her position at OSU to lecture about climate change full-time. Her latest book, Great Tide Rising, is a collection of essays on the subject from people from all walks of life: poets, philosophers, religious leaders and more. It’s been recommended by Desmond Tutu, which is all I ask for in a jacket endorsement. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

MOVIES = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK 26th Cascade Festival of African Films


One of the nation’s oldest nonprofit African film festivals starts this week with The Rooftops, a day-in-the-life tale of Algerian society that’s driven by daily calls to prayer. The kickoff party screening will have Algerian director Merzak Allouachein attendance and live music from a local Algerian musician (Hollywwood Theatre; 6 and 9:15 pm Friday, Feb. 5). Fievres (PCC Cascade; 7 pm Saturday, Feb. 6) is a Moroccan feature about a displaced and uncontrollable boy who discovers that his father is alive in Paris and finds camaraderie with a caravaning poet when he moves there. Hollywood, PCC Cascade.

The Choice

Nicholas Sparks chucks a precocious blond medical student who’s already spoken for (Teresa Palmer) at the rebel-without-a-cause Travis (Benjamin Walker), and it turns out this shit still sticks to the silver screen like green on money. Screened after deadline. See for Amy Wolfe’s review. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place.

Hail, Caesar!

The Coen brothers tackle 1950s Hollywood in this costume comedy inspired by real-life Hollywood “fixer” Eddie Mannix. Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) has been abducted from the set of a historical epic set in ancient Rome, and it’s up to Mannix (Josh Brolin) to find him or it’s the end of the line for this matinee idol. Or the studio could just pay the $100,000 ransom, but where’s the fun in that? Screened after deadline. See for John Locanthi’s review. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Tigard, St. Johns Theater.

The Lyric Project

The idea is simple: For The Lyric Project, a Web series by Chicago transplant Ezekiel Brown, Brown asked people to submit audio recordings of themselves reading lyrics that meant the most to them. Brown then listened to the recitations and created a short film for each, with the original recording playing over the visuals. The films that populate The Lyric Project are a highly varied bunch, and each film—some took as long as two months to finish—is a stand-alone piece. But Brown stuck to one specific premise for them all, approaching lyrics based not on the actual song but on each participant’s experience with it. “When I get a submission, I never look at the music video. I try to be as blank slate as possible,” he said. Adding another layer to the creative process, Brown’s brother in Chicago scored each film. It can be heavy, but it all depends on the sound bites people send to Brown. The filmmaker will attend the screening. NR. AP KRYZA. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, Feb. 3. $9.

Oscar Nominated Short Films

B+ For diversity at the Oscars, look to the shorts—a mixed bag of pencilsketched Spartans, Jewish road-trippers and technicolor Indian deities. Animated standouts include Don Hertzfeldt’s 16-minute “World of Tomorrow,” a simply-drawn epic about a young girl whose future self introduces her to mindblowing inventions and humankind’s depression. “Bear Story” punches your

CONT. on page 40


Austen’s Undead



Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a funny idea. The title is funny, the concept of adding zombie scenes to a brilliant, public domain novel is funny, that somebody actually took the time to write it is very funny. But the book itself is not funny. In fact, P&P&Z is one of those rare and precious ideas in which actually executing it takes all the joy out of it. Like all those times somebody says, “That would make a great name for a band,” and people laugh; if you actually made a band called Beaver Pelt Sundae, it wouldn’t be funny at all. Rather than watching it, let’s just take a trip back to that heady time when it was just a funny idea and create some other mash-up novel concepts, without the sad burden of anybody

actually writing or reading them. Here are a couple suggestions in the vein of …and Zombies and its spinoff Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and definitely not in the vein of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which seems to have been created by an enthusiastic person who missed the memo that the game we’re playing is: a book with “and” in the title, plus a scary thing.

Romeo and Juliet and Krampus

Their families hate each other. But despite the age-old blood feud between the Montagues, the Capulets and the Germanic Christmas demons, three young children fall in love and create a secret kinky triad that can end only in tragedy.

War and Peace and Lizard People

Napoleon wants to take over Russia. Members of the aristocracy want to marry well. The lizard people want to kill you and then lie on a warm rock.

The Sound and the Fury and the Sarlacc Pit Monster

It’s a story told from multiple points of view, one of which is that of a creature that lines a massive sand pit on Tattooine with several rows of teeth. The sarlacc’s suicide is very sad.

Crime and Punishment and Yetis

A young man is racked with guilt over a murder he commits. He endlessly contemplates confessing as the authorities close in on him. Eventually, he turns himself in and is exiled to Siberia, where he thinks for a second he sees a giant humanoid in the snow, but then is pretty sure he didn’t.

The Old Man and the Sea and Alien and Predator

It’s an epic struggle: a Cuban fisherman who hasn’t caught a fish for 85 days, a giant marlin who’s just minding his own business when something he thinks is food turns out to be a hook, and two highly advanced extraterrestrial killing machines. When they sleep, all four dream of lions.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Mr. Ed

When he drinks a potion, Dr. Jekyll becomes his alter ego. When his alter ego drinks a potion, he becomes a terrifying talking horse from the 1960s. It ends badly for all of them.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Ancient Megasharks

The author takes a road trip with his son and their friend, a 50-foot megashark straight out of the Cenozoic Era. They discuss philosophy. The megashark has some interesting ideas about epistemology.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and No Zombies

This tale of love and values unfolds in the classconscious England of the late 18th century. The five Bennet sisters—including strongwilled Elizabeth and young Lydia—have been raised by their mother with one purpose in life: finding a husband. When a wealthy bachelor takes up residence in a nearby mansion, the Bennets are abuzz. Among the man’s sophisticated circle of friends, surely there will be no shortage of suitors for the Bennet sisters. But when Elizabeth meets up with the handsome and seemingly snobbish Mr. Darcy, the battle of the sexes is joined. SEE IT: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most major Portland-area theaters. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


MOVIES heart into your gut with a story so cute it’s depressing, and “Sanjay’s Super Team” looks like Pixar gone Bollywood. Though the live-action picks wax dismal—“Shok” follows two terrified boys in 1998 Kosovo, “Day One” throws a female interpreter into war in Afghanistan, and “Last Day of Freedom” remembers a veteran with PTSD who was executed for murder—they’re short enough to stay sweet when watched in a bunch. Hollywood Theatre screens the animated shorts nightly, followed by live-action. Hollywood.

to finish us off with hand-to-hand combat. The “5th wave” of attacks comes in the form of body-snatching a bunch of adults and hot guys. Cassie has to fight back, but only after she deals with her inevitable love triangle. With dialogue like, “I didn’t believe in love until I met you,” you’ll wish you’d died in the 1st wave. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard.


B- It’s a little creepy watching a stopmotion puppet perform cunnilingus on another puppet; creepier still when the foreplay turns into outright sex. Puppets aren’t supposed to fuck— are they? Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) fills his movie with jarring moments like

C Michael Bay’s latest big-budget war film doesn’t have the star power you’d expect, but it’s message is predicably patriotic: Americans are heroic, and Libyans are barbaric. This time, the heroes are six security contractors who save the day during a surprise nighttime attack by Libyan rebels. The film is essentially Call of Duty, often told in point-of-view shots with night-vision goggles, sniper targets and comically fake spews of bright red blood. A few moments do take aim at the American military, like when John Krasinski gazes up at the Libyan sky and says in a wavering Southern accent: “I’m going to die fighting in a war I don’t understand.” Mainly, the actors succeed at looking buff and running around to the Hans Zimmer soundtrack, but they fail to deliver genuinely emotive performances. To be fair, the meathead script didn’t give them much to emote. In one of the most unintentionally comical scenes, the Americans mistake the Muslim call to prayer for another attack. In the other, one character muses about Joseph Campbell’s philosophy. Like the film, both misfire. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Tigard.

45 Years

A- Andrew Haigh’s rich, slow-moving


Danny Newcomb was a founding member of Goodness, and toured over the States, opening for Cheap Trick, Elliot Smith, Pearl Jam and Oasis. He also helped to start the Rockfords with Mike McCready and released a full-length record for Epic and an ep. He’s been playing guitar since he was 9, and started performing and writing songs by the time he was 12. With his new band, the Sugarmakers, he’s all about playing The Song in the big sense. Yes, it’s rock-n-roll, via the 1970s, but it is the songwriting that makes it now.



Best known for “Satellite Heart,” from the platinumselling soundtrack to Twilight: New Moon, and her provocative cover of T.I.’s “Whatever You Like”, Marina’s songs have been featured in national ad campaigns and influential TV series, remixed by Interpol’s Sam Fogarino, and called “a mixture of Liz Phair sex appeal with a dash of [Carl] Jung” by Rolling Stone. She has toured with Jason Mraz, Paolo Nutini, Chris Isaak, The Dandy Warhols, Tristan Prettyman, and Emiliana Torini, among others. Anya is set to release her fourth LP, Paper Plane, in early 2016 on her own Good Rope Records.

marital mystery, 45 Years, centers on gorgeous cinematography and masterful acting by Tom Courtenay and Charlotte Rampling, elder statesmen of elite acting. The film is nominated for one Oscar, Actress in a Leading Role for Rampling, which is unsurprising. It screams Oscar. Elegant. Sad. British. Full of white people. But the movie isn’t itself racist. It’s good, in fact—haunting, slow, reserving its gut punches for silent, unexpected moments. The story of a married couple confronting a secret buried in the Swiss ice is based on a short story, David Constantine’s “Another Country.” Rampling deftly leads the cast, and her character—a buttoned-up, childless woman on the verge of celebrating her 45th wedding anniversary to a man she suddenly doesn’t know—is painfully real and quietly bleak, set perfectly in the film’s flat landscape. The present is a dull, wet, flat world inhabited by old people, and the past is a dramatic mountain range, where young and attractive people are filled with love but only ever seen at odd angles in a blurry slide show. 45 Years is a solid film, and Rampling certainly deserves her Oscar nomination. But when you watch it, remember that in 2015 there were almost no leading roles at all played by women of color. And it’s impossible to win an award when there isn’t even an opportunity to qualify. R. LIZZY ACKER. Living Room Theaters.

The 5th Wave ON SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20TH, MUSIC MILLENNIUM WILL HOST THE 5TH ANNUAL ‘BRING YOUR KIDS TO MUSIC MILLENNIUM DAY!’. With live music from kid-friendly artists and free gift bags for kids under 18, it’s a day of record store fun for the whole family (but especially the little ones!).


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

D The title The 5th Wave could easily refer to the fact that humanity has been under attack from wave after wave of young-adult post-apocalypse movies in the past 10 years. Sadly, there’s nothing self-aware about this cookie-cutter story of a peppy teenage girl who is, obviously, Earth’s best hope. Sixteen-year-old Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz from Kick-Ass) is a normal adolescent until a group of faceless aliens start killing everybody for no reason. They knock out most of the population with tsunamis and pandemics in the first couple waves, but then they inexplicably decide

The Big Short

A We’re in a bubble of movies about the financial crisis, but The Big Short is the first good one. It’s based on the book by Michael Lewis, who’s known for making complicated financial topics into compelling stories, and adapted by Adam McKay, who is known for Talladega Nights and the “More Cowbell” sketch. Surprisingly, this combo works. R. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas,


13 Hours


these, when our childhood associations of stop-motion animation collide with the very grown-up story that Anomalisa tells. But while the animation is undisputably nifty-looking, it can’t redeem this deeply pessimistic film. Anomalisa might be an animated favorite for the upcoming Oscars, but it’s also an early contender for feel-bad movie of 2016. R. RICHARD SPEER. Cinema 21, City Center.

DRIVEWAY DAME: Maggie Smith (right).

Bagged It

Maggie Smith is happily homeless in The Lady in the Van.

If every homeless person were as endearingly crotchety as Dame Maggie Smith in The Lady in the Van, we’d all let transients live in our driveways, chuckling at their passive kvetching while it rounds out our children’s sense of humor. This book-turned-award-winning play-turned-film is based on the true story of writer Alan Bennett allowing a homeless woman to live in his driveway for 15 years. After the novel, Bennett went on to write a West End play of the same name, starring Maggie Smith as the indomitable Miss Mary Shepherd, with Nicholas Hytner in the director’s chair. The gang’s all here for the big-screen adaptation. Smith slides back into the titular role with practiced humor, going about her business with unfettered purpose. When Bennett runs into her selling loose pencils and advice on the sidewalk, she calmly explains, “I’m not a beggar, I’m self-employed.” There are actually two Bennetts—one is writing the story, the other is living it. With impressive use of green-screen magic, the two sit in the same room like a pair of identical twins and throw witty barbs at each other. Alex Jennings excels in his binary role as both Bennetts, using subtle changes in tone and posture to differentiate the two sides of a very moderately tempered, semicloseted gay man. Hytner complements the playful screenplay without making a clown out of Miss Shepherd, employing a vibrant palette onscreen to keep the tone light. Shepherd’s poorly painted yellow van with stuffed plastic bags spilling from all sides only makes the quaint Camden neighborhood look more charming, even if Miss Shepherd’s main contribution to the community is bitter curses for children playing recorders nearby. Despite this kid-friendly, Disney-style version of homelessness, Smith gives a genuine performance as a misunderstood woman suffering from PTSD, proudly grasping her grimy layers of clothing, and her opinions, with blunt conviction. Her tone is too confident for us to doubt her claims of past prestige—she very well could have been a nun, a concert pianist or an ambulance driver. LAUREN TERRY. B+ SEE IT: The Lady in the Van is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Bridge of Spies

B- Steven Spielberg was born to convey viewers through weird and wonderful alternate realities, but the director’s gift just doesn’t shine as brightly when he contends with humanity’s past. Bridge of Spies, starring Tom Hanks as an insurance lawyer recruited by the U.S. government to negotiate a spy-for-spy trade with the Soviet Union, benefits from a caustic screenplay by the Coen brothers. While Spielberg is pretty good even when he’s on autopilot, there is little here that doesn’t feel perfunctory. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Academy, Lake Theater, Laurelhurst, Living Room Theaters, Vancouver, Joy, Valley.


Lake Theater, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Lloyd Center, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas.



A- Based on the novel by Irish

author Colm Tóibín and adapted by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy), Brooklyn is just the sweetest thing. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) makes an adorable couple with Emory Cohen (Smash), and I could watch them court for hours, especially their awkward dinners with Cohen’s Italian family. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Clackamas, Cinema 21, City Center, Tigard.


A Like a long-gone grandpar-

ent, Portland director Todd Haynes’ newest feature is an experience you remember mostly by token images— Cate Blanchett’s lacquered nails, Rooney Mara developing film in her shabby apartment kitchen, Blanchett’s lipstick stains on Mara’s nipples. A romance between a young salesgirl and older housewife set against the picture-book 1950s, Carol is an almost painfully beautiful adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, The Price of Salt, with Haynes’ signature touches—magnetic actresses and gorgeous shots of them lighting slim cigarettes. R. ENID SPITZ. Hollywood, Lake Theater, Fox Tower.


C- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air stars in a movie based on a GQ article about a coroner living in Pittsburgh who discovered brain damage in a retired football player and was hounded by the NFL to retract his findings. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Vancouver.


A- Creed—the seventh movie in the

Rocky franchise—is more like the original Rocky than its sequels because it’s mostly good, but also because it’s almost entirely the same movie as Rocky. It feels more like an apology for the mediocre Rocky movies we’ve endured, more like a series reboot than a sequel, featuring a stronger young actor in Michael B. Jordan. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Avalon, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood, Joy, Valley.

Daddy’s Home

B Will Ferrell hasn’t exhausted the comedy of emasculation just yet—his argyle sweater vest-wearing persona still has some comic juice, especially teamed with The Other Guys co-star Mark Wahlberg’s alpha male. Director Sean Anders sticks to sitcom setups and obvious gags. But compared to, say, the shapeless Sisters, Daddy’s Home at least has structure and sincerity. PG. ROBERT HORTON. Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division.

The Danish Girl

A In director Tom Hooper’s first film

since Les Miserables, Eddie Redmayne plays Einar Wegener, one of the first people to undergo gender reassignment surgery, in the story from David Ebershoff’s novel of the same name. Wegener and his wife, Gerda (Alicia Vikander), a fellow artist and his best friend, make the perfect, hip art couple of 1920s Copenhagen. R. LAUREN TERRY. Fox Tower.

Dirty Grandpa

Zac Efron as a stick-up-his-ass youth and Robert De Niro in his new stock role as an endearingly uncouth geezer take a road trip to Daytona Beach and have the sort of bro drama you’d expect from two guys named Jason and Dick. Not screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2

B Katniss Everdeen leads a group of rebels against the Capitol, which has been booby-trapped with hot oil, lasers, and an army of lizard people. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Fox Tower.

The Intern

Marlon Wayans wrote the script and himself into the role of Christian Black for this parody of the Heathman Hotel’s favorite literary gem. Not screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place.

B+ Ben (Robert De Niro), an active widower and retiree in need of something to keep himself busy, applies to a senior internship program at “About the Fit,” a Topshop-like online clothing site founded by the dedicated Jules Ostin (Anne Hathaway). It’s a refreshingly modern concept, serving as a reminder that the timeless art of being a gentleman begins with respect. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Vancouver.

The Finest Hours


Fifty Shades of Black

C Although the death-defying

rescue mission depicted in this film was a proud moment in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard, The Finest Hours is for the wives. Based on a true story, its plot centers on Bernie Webber (Chris Pine), a newly engaged boatswain who braves a historically bad storm to rescue 30 men from a sinking oil tanker. The film’s overall impact relies on the cinematic awe of watching a steel ship be ripped apart by brutal waves, amounting to a more patriotic version of A Perfect Storm for the current CGI-savvy generation. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard.

The Good Dinosaur

B- The Good Dinosaur is a Little House on the Prairie-style rendering of pioneer life, except, of course, all the characters are talking dinosaurs living in an alternate reality where a certain fateful asteroid never made impact. PG. PENELOPE BASS. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Empirical, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

The Hateful Eight

A- Quentin Tarantino’s new mystery

Western, The Hateful Eight is a lot of very good things. It’s a spectacular bit of storytelling set against 70 millimeters of Wyoming grandeur, yet neat enough to fit together like the gears in a Swiss watch, with stellar character acting and crackling dialogue. Yes, there are buckets of bright red blood spilled on bright white shirts, copious use of the most offensive Englishlanguage word beginning with N, and a bloody Mexican standoff. Kurt Russell is John “The Hangman” Ruth, a bounty hunter charged with bringing the mysterious Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) into Red Rock, Wyo., to hang. The cartoonish level of violence will give some pause—it’s Kill Bill with fewer bodies but tighter shots—but that’s to be expected of Tarantino. R. MARTIN CIZMAR. Eastport, Hollywood.

B+ Director David O. Russell takes his formula for American Hustle, wraps it in Christmastime and casts America’s ass-kicking sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence as the woman who invented the self-wringing Miracle Mop. Joy (Lawrence) is the ultimate handyman, balancing her explosive father (Robert De Niro) and musician exhusband (Édgar Ramirez) fighting in the basement, her antisocial and bedridden mother (Virginia Madsen), two kids and too many unpaid bills. PG13. ENID SPITZ. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

Kung Fu Panda 3

A- It’s been five years since Kung Fu Panda 2, and Jack Black hasn’t been in anything even close to that good since. Good for Black—his pudgy, clumsy panda Po is as endearing as ever. This time, Po must find true “chi” to beat Kai, a ripped yak creature that might be too scary for young kids. Po—who somehow thought he was the only panda in the world— is reunited with his father, who takes him to a secret panda land, where even Minions couldn’t beat how cute the jiggly-belly pandas are. PG. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas, St. Johns Theater.








2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) •

The Martian

B- It’s just a pretty good sci-fi yarn based on Andy Weir’s book that stumbles on its own ambition. When a massive storm hits the Martian exploration project and Watney’s team leaves him for dead, the skilled botanist realizes that the only way to avoid starvation and space madness is to “science the shit” out of his situation. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Laurelhurst, Vancouver, Valley.


A In remote Turkey, five orphaned sisters are strictly confined to their home while their uncle arranges their marriages. In this feature debut from

CONT. on page 42 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


MOVIES The Peanuts Movie

A bald child named Charlie battles questionable fashion choices, impossible odds and burgeoning hormones. G. Avalon, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Norm of the North

C- This 86-minute animated movie about a polar bear trying to save the Arctic feels more like a three-hour movie about animals dancing. Norm, the film’s clumsy protagonist, is a less cute version of Po from Kung Fu Panda. When Mr. Greene—an evil developer who looks like Michael Jackson with a body made of a Slinky—tries to build condos in the Arctic, Norm pretends to be a spokesman for the campaign and goes to New York to win the public’s approval. As Norm reveals that the condos will actually destroy his home, the film takes unnecessary pains to explain things like the polar bear’s ability to talk to humans. Meanwhile, we suspend our disbelief about the complex public relations techniques. Norm had the opportunity to be an environmental film that teaches kids about global warming through a cuddly talking polar bear, but instead it develops a plot based on a problem that doesn’t currently threaten the Arctic. At least it has enough scenes of lemmings peeing and farting to entertain the kids. PG. SOPHIA JUNE. Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Division.

The Revenant

A- In terms of pure spectacle and cinematic beauty, Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant approaches masterpiece status. Fur trapper Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) finds his trapping party on the receiving end of a bear attack that leaves him barely clinging to life. Playing Klaus Kinski to Iñárritu’s Werner Herzog for what was reportedly a shoot of Fitzcarraldo-level difficulty, DiCaprio brings his A-game to an abstract role. It is one of the best wilderness survival films of all time—a violent, unrelenting and staggeringly beautiful cinematic experience that leaves you feeling battered by an angry mother bear by the time the credits roll, but ready to take the ride again. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Edgefield, Forest Theater, Lake Theater, Moreland, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard, Roseway, St. Johns Theater.

The Room

B+ In this riveting adaptation of Emma Donoghue’s novel, an abducted woman must raise her son in a confined space, To maintain a stimulating setting, Ma (Brie Larson) creates a social environment with anthropomorphized characters named Bed and Lamp. R. LAUREN TERRY. Academy, Clackamas, Kiggins, Laurelhurst, City Center, Fox Tower, Tigard.


C+ As Gen-X plunges into the Big Four-O with all the grace of an arthritic Tommy Lee flailing about his gyroscopic drum riser, studios have released a slew of movies about the bummers of aging: You’ve got your Grown-Ups, your Hot Tub Time Machines, your Star Wars (I assume that’s what Chewie’s arc will be about), etc. This year, America’s pre-eminent comedic minds, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, take a crack at it as the titular sisters who throw one last rager in their family house before their parents sell it. For the most part, it’s a straight-up party comedy, replete with the requisite tropes, and given the preponderance of truly innovative comedians, Sisters is disappointingly standard. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.


Son of Saul


A- Son of Saul may be the most vis-

ceral, intimate take on the Holocaust ever made, and Hungarian-Jewish director László Nemes sets the tone early in what’s become the most-hyped foreign film this year—it’s the first Hungarian movie to win a Golden Globe and the country’s Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film. It’s also Nemes’ directorial debut. Saul (Géza Röhrig) is a Hungarian Jew and member of the Sonderkommando, a special unit of Jewish prisoners assigned to cleaning up the remains of their own people. To give his son a proper burial, Saul searches for a rabbi. Meanwhile, his fellow prisoners are planning a revolt. Most of the film was shot with a handheld camera, peering over Saul’s shoulder as he scrubs viscera from concrete floors or shovels dusty ashes from the furnaces. But the gore is always just out of focus. While many Holocaust movies try to lighten the load of their subject matter by playing to the lowest common denominator of audience expectations, Son of Saul doesn’t, and it excels because of what it avoids. It’s not a shofar for nationalism, nor an excuse for Allied military fetishism, nor a melodramatic tale of the indomitable human spirit. It’s a hauntingly simple story that Nemes packages with intimacy. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Cinema 21.


C+ The 26th Bond film has it all, and more. The one thing it doesn’t have is the ability to leave a lasting impression. Buildings crumble, helicopters do barrel rolls, and Daniel Craig nonchalantly causes millions in property damage. But from the minute Sam Smith’s grating theme music starts, the movie slides downhill. Sure, there’s fun to be had—Bond drives a tricked-out ride through Rome’s narrow streets and engages in an Alpine plane chase before the anticlimactic conclusion lands with a dull thud. Considering everybody who’s involved in Spectre, the very last reaction anybody expected was “meh.” PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Vancouver, Valley.


A- Spotlight inverts the usual comparison: It’s a movie that feels like prestige television. Specifically, it feels like The Wire. An Oscar favorite recounting how a Boston Globe investigative team uncovered an epidemic of pederast priests abetted by the archdiocese, Spotlight borrows the rhythms of a propulsive TV procedural. It resists the temptation for self-congratulation. R. AARON MESH. Eastport, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

A- If there’s one thing we know about Star Wars fans, it’s that they’re as resistant to change as any religious zealot. And so, the best thing that can be said about The Force Awakens is that it’s almost old-fashioned. There’s no Dark Knight-style brooding, no ring-a-ding-ding dialogue a la The Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy. The action is fairly nonstop, and the story is pretty simple: Some guys in helmets are threatening peace in the galaxy, and it’s up to, well, you-know-who to stop them. PG-13. MATTHEW SINGER. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard.


C Despite coming from Italian filmmaker and Oscar winner Paolo Sorrentino and starring Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel as two graying artists, Youth ends up feeling like too much beautiful, existential pondering without enough teeth. Caine and Keitel sit around talking about the past and how much they piss, which doesn’t sound cute or important, even from Caine. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Laurelhurst.

For more Movies listings, visit

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


director Deniz Gamze Ergüven, Lale— the youngest sister—watches her siblings capitulate to suffocating patriarchy and searches herself for the strength to escape. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Kiggins Theatre, Living Room Theaters.


Most actors spend entire careers working toward one iconic moment, honing their onscreen personalities for years until cementing themselves in the cinematic pantheon with their defining roles. Alan Rickman wasn’t most actors. The British master—whose death last month was overshadowed by the outpouring of tributes for fellow Brit David Bowie—took about 30 seconds of screen time to make a lasting impression on generations of moviegoers. Rickman’s big-screen debut came in 1988’s Die Hard (screening Thursday at Hollywood Theatre), still arguably the best action film of all time. And holy shit, what a debut. From the moment Hans Gruber emerges from the elevator at Nakatomi Plaza, it’s clear that we’re dealing with a villain unlike anyone who came before him. He’s slick. He’s sophisticated. He has great taste in suits, a strangely unplaceable accent and the look of a goateed lizard ready to strike. He’s ruthless in his businesslike pursuit of wealth, basically Gordon Gecko with a German accent and an itchy trigger finger. Ho ho ho. On paper, Gruber is little more than a run-ofthe-mill action villain. But in the body of Rickman, he’s one of the most fascinating villains of all time— a Eurotrash ball of tics that grow more and more erratic as Bruce Willis’ fly in the ointment continues to foil his well-laid plans. Just watch Rickman’s labored exasperation every time one of his cronies is dispatched. The bloodshed seems like just an increasingly bothersome inconvenience to this charismatic, eye-rolling embodiment of disconnected greed—right up until he plummets to the pavement. “Shoot…the…glass,” he impatiently implores a surviving henchman in a room full of corpses, as if somebody had brought him the wrong coffee. Rickman’s character seems as well lived-in as his suits are tailored, and every line he casually snarls sticks with the ferocity of broken glass in John McClane’s feet. That explosive debut lingered large over the rest of Rickman’s career, but how could it not? There are


shades of Gruber everywhere, from the cold malice of Severus Snape to the over-the-top psychosis of the Sheriff of Nottingham. He could certainly play nice, but even at his warmest, the specter of Gruber made it difficult for anybody who has spent time in Nakatomi to fully trust Rickman. And he played to that beautifully, layering his roles with nuance. Rickman spent his career elevating mediocre movies—like Dogma, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Love Actually—just by virtue of his presence. But it was in Die Hard that he managed to make something already potentially great into the perfect popcorn flick. All it took was a well-honed sneer, a wellhemmed suit and an actor so hungry for a big break that he managed to be the most compelling thing in a movie that includes a dude rappelling down an exploding skyscraper with a firehose. Yippie-ki-yay, Mr. Rickman. Thanks for making our Christmases brighter and bloodier, and raising the bar for action villains eternally. SEE IT: Die Hard screens at the Hollywood Theatre. 9:40 pm Thursday, Feb. 4. ALSO SHOWING:

With this year’s controversially whitewashed Oscars, it’s refreshing to think back to 1999, when the release of Spike Lee’s He Got Game the previous year garnered nominations for…oh, wait, no. It was all white people back then, too. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 5-7. In a post-Wes Anderson world, it’s easy to forget that Harold and Maude was an eccentric breath of fresh air in 1971. Academy Theater. Feb. 5-11. KBOO hosts Chauncy Peltier for a screening of Warrior, a documentary about the incarceration of his father, Native American activist Leonard Peltier, who was convicted of murder in a shootout with FBI agents at the Pine Ridge Reservation. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Saturday, Feb. 6. Kung Fu Theater dips into its rare 35 mm stash for a screening of the only known print of 1979’s Jade Claw, an obscure lost classic featuring Billy Chong. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Feb. 9. See the full Also Showing at


Regal City Center Stadium 12 Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX 1510 NE Multnomah St. STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS -- AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Wed -Thu 11:55, 3:20, 6:40, 9:50 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: TURANDOT ENCORE Wed 6:30 FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK Wed-Thu 12:55, 4:30, 7:25, 10:00 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Wed-Thu 11:50, 5:05, 10:10 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D Wed-Thu 2:30, 7:40 THE FINEST HOURS Wed Thu 12:05, 10:15 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Wed-Thu 3:50, 7:15 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed Thu 12:10, 3:00 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:35 THE BOY Wed-Thu 12:50, 3:25 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 12:30 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:40, 10:05 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed -Thu 3:55, 10:25 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 11:30, 3:10, 6:50, 10:20 HAIL, CAESAR! ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:35, 3:30, 6:30, 10:10 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:45, 3:50, 7:15, 10:05 JOSH GROBAN: STAGES LIVE Thu 7:30 THE CHOICE Thu 7:00, 9:50

Regal Division Street Stadium 13

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 CREED Wed-Thu 4:20, 8:45 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 6:50 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed-Thu 12:45 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 7:00, 9:35 HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 Wed -Thu 2:35

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 11:30, 3:00, 7:00, 10:45 HAIL, CAESAR! Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:30, 3:30, 7:00, 10:15

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 BROOKLYN Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 3:45, 6:30, 9:00 SON OF SAUL Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:00, 6:45, 9:15 ANOMALISA Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:30, 7:00, 9:15 THE ROOM Wed Thu 10:45

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 FIRE WALK WITH ME Wed Thu 9:30 ROOM Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:45, 6:30, 9:00 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 9:15 SPECTRE Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:15 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:45 YOUTH Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 7:00 STEVE JOBS Wed -Thu 9:40 STOP MAKING SENSE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 9:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:30 THE GOOD DINOSAUR SatSun 1:00

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St. LABYRINTH Wed-Sat-Sun 8:30 HAROLD AND MAUDE Mon 5:30 TRUE ROMANCE Tue 5:30

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Wed Thu 4:40, 7:00, 9:10 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 5:30, 8:20

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St. 360-816-0352 OSCAR NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS Wed 6:30 LAZER TEAM Wed Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:15 MUSTANG Wed 4:15 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: LIVE ACTION FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:30 2016

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun 5:30 SPECTRE Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 2:00, 8:15 CREED Sat-Sun 2:15 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Sat-Sun-MonTue 5:30

5th Avenue Cinema


Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 CAROL Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 6:30, 9:00 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: ANIMATED Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:15 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: LIVE ACTION Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 9:15 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed-Thu-Sat-Sun 6:00 THE HUNGER Thu 7:30 DIE HARD Thu 9:40 SEVEN SAMURAI Mon 7:00 JADE CLAW Tue 7:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave. JANE GOT A GUN Wed Thu 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00 THE FINEST HOURS

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK Wed-Thu 12:40, 4:00, 6:30, 9:30 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Wed-Thu 1:00, 9:45 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D Wed -Thu 3:45, 6:50 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 1:10, 3:30 THE BOY Wed-Thu 12:50, 4:20 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed-Thu 1:20, 4:10, 6:45, 10:00 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed -Thu 12:30, 6:40 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed Thu 3:15, 9:00 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 THE CHOICE Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474 THE REVENANT Wed -Thu 11:00, 2:30, 6:00, 9:30 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 4:40, 7:00, 9:10 HAIL, CAESAR! Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 5:10, 7:30, 9:45

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 45 YEARS Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:45, 12:45, 2:00, 2:50, 5:00, 7:15, 9:20 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed Thu 1:00, 8:30 MUSTANG Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:00 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: ANIMATED Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:55, 2:10, 6:40 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: LIVE ACTION Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 4:20, 8:40 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:50, 2:30, 4:10, 6:20, 7:00, 9:00, 9:40 HAIL, CAESAR! Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:05, 1:45, 2:20, 4:00, 4:40, 5:10, 6:50, 7:30, 9:10, 9:45

Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 10:50AM 1:20PM 3:50PM 6:20PM 7:05PM 8:50PM Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (PG-13) 11:50AM ® 2:30PM ® 5:10PM ® 7:50PM ® 10:30PM ® Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 4:05PM 10:25PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 2:10PM 7:25PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 9:40PM 10:30PM Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 4:05PM ® 10:25PM ® Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 12:50PM 12:50PM ® 7:15PM 7:15PM ® Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (PG-13) 10:50AM 11:50AM 1:30PM 2:30PM 4:10PM 5:10PM 7:50PM 10:30PM

Revenant, The (R) 1:00PM 4:35PM 8:15PM Big Short, The (R) 12:55PM 4:00PM 7:10PM 10:15PM Boy, The (PG-13) 11:55AM 2:25PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:00PM Brooklyn (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:20PM 10:05PM Hail, Caesar! (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:05PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:25PM 13 Hours:The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (R) 12:20PM 3:40PM 7:00PM 10:20PM 5th Wave, The (PG-13) 11:05AM 1:55PM 4:50PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 11:45AM 4:45PM 10:00PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 12:15PM 3:10PM 6:05PM 9:00PM Choice, The (PG-13) 10:55AM 1:40PM 4:25PM 7:10PM 9:55PM Daddy’s Home (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:10PM Dirty Grandpa (R) 12:00PM 2:35PM 5:15PM 7:50PM 10:25PM

Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:15PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 10:15PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 11:00AM 1:30PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 9:00PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 11:55AM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 12:40PM 7:00PM Hail, Caesar! (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:10PM 4:50PM 7:30PM 10:10PM Room (R) 11:00AM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 3:50PM 10:10PM Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:10PM 4:50PM 7:30PM 10:10PM Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (PG-13) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Revenant, The (R) 11:30AM 3:00PM 6:30PM 10:00PM

Bangalore Naatkal (Indo tech) (NR) 2:40PM 6:00PM 9:20PM Big Short, The (R) 1:15PM 4:15PM 7:15PM 10:15PM 5th Wave, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM 10:00PM Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM 13 Hours:The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (R) 11:00AM 4:40PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 2:15PM 8:00PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 12:00PM 2:50PM 5:40PM 8:30PM Dirty Grandpa (R) 11:55AM 2:30PM 5:05PM 7:40PM 10:15PM Boy, The (PG-13) 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:50PM 10:30PM Choice, The (PG-13) 11:25AM 2:10PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:25PM

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Revenant, The (R) 12:00PM 3:30PM 7:00PM 10:30PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 11:05AM 1:30PM 2:45PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 9:00PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 12:20PM 7:10PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:15PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Spotlight (R) 1:25PM 4:25PM 7:25PM 10:25PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 3:45PM 10:35PM Sisters (R) 4:30PM 10:15PM Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:05PM 4:40PM 7:15PM 9:50PM Room (R) 1:35PM 7:20PM Boy, The (PG-13) 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 10:30PM

Choice, The (PG-13) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:05PM 7:50PM 10:35PM

Kung Fu Panda 3 (XD) (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:25PM Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (XD) (PG-13) 6:50PM 9:35PM

Big Short, The (R) 1:05PM 4:05PM 7:05PM 10:05PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 11:35AM 5th Wave, The (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Hail, Caesar! (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM Hateful Eight, The (R) 11:10AM 2:50PM 6:30PM 10:10PM Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 1:50PM 7:30PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 2:05PM 4:35PM 7:05PM 9:35PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 11:00AM 4:40PM 10:20PM




16603 SE Division St. FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK Wed-Thu 11:35, 2:40, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 JANE GOT A GUN Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:25, 4:55, 7:30, 10:05 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Wed-Thu 12:00, 5:10, 10:10 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D Wed-Thu 2:45, 7:40 THE FINEST HOURS Wed Thu 12:15, 9:40 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Wed-Thu 3:15, 6:30 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed-Thu 11:55, 2:25, 5:00, 7:35, 10:15 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:20 THE BOY Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 10:00 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 12:10, 3:30, 6:45, 9:50 NORM OF THE NORTH Wed-Thu 11:30, 2:15, 4:40 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed-Thu 11:35, 2:10, 4:45, 7:15, 10:05 DADDY’S HOME Wed Thu 12:05, 2:25, 5:05 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 11:40, 3:00, 6:20, 9:25 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed Thu 3:40, 6:50 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed-Thu 12:30, 9:55 HAIL, CAESAR! Thu 7:30, 10:15 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES Thu 7:00, 9:50 THE CHOICE Thu 7:00, 9:50

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

801 C St. JANE GOT A GUN Wed -Thu 11:40, 2:40, 6:05, 8:45 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Wed-Thu 11:20, 4:15, 9:10 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D Wed-Thu 1:50, 6:45 THE FINEST HOURS Wed Thu 12:10, 8:40 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Wed-Thu 3:05, 5:50 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed-Thu 12:00, 3:15 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:30, 5:15 THE BOY Wed -Thu 11:30, 2:00, 4:25 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 11:05, 2:25, 8:20 ANOMALISA Wed Thu 12:15 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 11:10, 2:20, 5:05, 8:35 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 11:00, 2:10, 5:20 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed -Thu 8:30 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:50, 5:55 SPOTLIGHT Wed 8:55 BROOKLYN Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:20, 6:15 ROOM Wed -Thu 2:35, 5:30 HAIL, CAESAR! Thu 7:00, 9:00 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES Thu 7:00, 8:10 THE CHOICE Thu 7:00, 8:55

Wed-Thu 12:50, 9:50 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Wed Thu 4:30, 7:10 BOY AND THE WORLD Wed-Thu 12:20 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed -Thu 1:00, 4:20, 6:40, 9:30 IP MAN 3 Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:40, 6:10, 8:50 JOY Wed-Thu 4:10, 9:45 THE REVENANT Wed Thu 12:10, 3:20, 6:20, 9:20 SISTERS Wed-Thu 12:40, 6:50 THE DANISH GIRL Wed -Thu 2:30, 6:00, 9:00 CAROL Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:40, 6:45, 9:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Wed Thu 3:45, 9:10 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 12:15, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30 ROOM Wed-Thu 1:10, 7:00

GO AND LOVE SOME MORE: Harold and Maude screens Feb. 5-11 at the Academy Theater. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016


21.29% THC




1979 NW VAUGHN ST. SUITE B PORTLAND, OR 97209 Just North of the Pearl District.




Netflix and chill? It’s a safe bet many couples who are cannabis enthusiasts will spend Valentine’s Day just so. But for weed-loving sweethearts wanting a more ambitiously romantic experience, there are some options. Here are four ways to spend V-Day with your honey and some bud.

Rub It Up

Rob Wright noticed when cannabis-infused massage oil helped his aches and pains. As a state-licensed massage therapist, he often experimented on his friends, whose lifestyles frequently left them too sore to report to work the next day. In under an hour, he worked the oil into a guitarist friend’s muscles. The friend went to work two hours later. Stories like this are common, but Wright was careful about offering this service publicly until legalization in July 2015. Now armed with tins of Bud Rub, Wright is looking to help more people move better. “This is a thing, it’s safe, you’re not going to have a crazy psychoactive experience,” he says. “It really is therapeutic.” Though marijuana’s federal classification as a Schedule I drug prevents most study, Wright is confident his anecdotal experiences are valid. Patients talk of a “fluffiness” to their muscles after a cannasage (sorry!) lasting far longer than typical body work, sometimes into the next day. Wright reports that no one has ever tested positive after seeing him, but hasn’t thought to ask about the more intimate experiences an all-over body fluffiness could improve. Good thing we experimented after our own budsage, and can report we just wanted to snuggle. $5 per 30 minutes added to regular massage price.

Go on a Tour


Willamette Week FEBRUARY 3, 2016

Franco’s Finest is fresh off festival awards for its oil and flower, but isn’t resting on its laurels. Thanks to upgraded equipment and a new office, Franco and company are looking to expand their

Fun Bus tours, starting with two separate events on Valentine’s Day weekend. The Sweetheart Afternoon Tour, meant for couples, includes gift bags for everyone— possibly one or two items for the night ahead. The Singles Evening Tour is more of a typical Franco’s Finest excursion, with dabs, gift bags, and snacks for all. Space is limited. Afternoon tour: 1-4 pm Saturday, Feb. 13; $178 a couple. Evening tour: 6-9 pm Saturday, Feb. 13; $98 per person.

Get Artsy

Heidi Keys’ Denver-based cannabis-powered art class, now available monthly in Portland and weekly in Seattle, is taking creativity a step further with a Valentine’s Day event. Hosted by Prism House owner Sam Montanaro, whose previous event sold out and had a waiting list, the class aims to help participants create at least one piece to take home. Art supplies, light appetizers, and refreshments will be provided—attendees are encouraged to bring their own cannabis and toking instruments. Vape pens are most common, but don’t be afraid to bring your trusted pipe or bong. $50.


World Famous Cannabis Cafe, located in the decidedly “Old Portland” Foster-Powell neighborhood, is offering a slice of “fresh yet slightly nostalgic sound” from Tribe Mars the Saturday of Valentine’s Day weekend. Tribe Mars, consisting of a “guerrilla faction of freedom fighters combating tyranny and systemic oppression with music and values inherited from wise Martian elders,” released a four-track digital download along with two singles through Bandcamp in summer 2015. WFCC’s Chef Kelly, making a name for himself with fresh-cut fries and cinnamon bread pudding, will offer one surprise dinner special that evening to complement the activist-meetsalien vibe. Expect attendees from a wide range of ages and backgrounds, plenty of shared joints, the best dabtender in town behind the dab bar, and lots of love from the only place that greets visitors with the phrase “Welcome home.” 8 pm Saturday, Feb. 13. $10.






Shamanic Healing “You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting for”

Awakenings Wellness Center 1016 SE 12th Ave, Portland

1016 SE 12th Ave. • Portland







EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES AIRLINE CAREERS BEGIN HERE Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Housing and job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 WOMEN’S PROGRAMMING DIRECTOR, PORTLAND, OREGON Plan & direct programs to promote religious ed. & activities among Jewish women & families. Develop, direct, lead study courses & religious ed. programs by denominational tradition & identity; mentor participants; publicize programs through newsletters, bulletins, mailings. Develop & maintain relationships with congregations & clergy. 1 academic yr. of Post-Secondary Orthodox Jewish religious ed. or seminary & 2 yrs. exp. in Orthodox Jewish Outreach. Rabbi Yossi Goldblatt, Portland Kollel, 6688 SW Capitol Hwy., Portland, OR 97219. ì


BILL PEC FITNESS Personalized Training

FEBRUARY 3, 2016



CLASSES AT BEE THINKING Meadmaking, Beeswax 101, Beekeeping, Honey Recipes, and more!!! Now Enrolling (877) 325-2221 Visit our retail space at 1551 SE Poplar. PAINT FOR PLAY Healing, and transformation. No experience required.


RENTALS ROOMMATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit:


HAULING/MOVING LJ’S HAULING ANYTHING Removal of Metal/Cars free 503-839-7222

TREE SERVICES STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077


Margie’s Pot Shop


Just for the fun of it • POT • WAX • SHATTER • VAPE PENS

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

• GLASS • EDIBLES and so much more! 509-493-0441

405 E Steuben /SR 14, Bingen, WA 98605 This product may be habit forming. Do not take over state lines. For use by adults 21 and over. Keep out of reach of children.

MUSIC LESSONS LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.



FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.




MUSICIANS MARKET TOTALLY RELAXING MASSAGE Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.482.3041


503-445-2757 •

Experience Energy Medicine of the Andes


45 46 47




Call for pricing. Financing Avail. Adult Adoptions Also. Reputable Oregon Kennel. Health Guaranteed, Socialized.



Easy I-5 Access. Drain, OR. Umpqua Valley Kennels, Vic & Mary Kasser 541-459-5951

Watch 24/7 Puppy Cams!:


40% OFF

Willamette Week Classifieds FEBRUARY 3, 2016




503-445-2757 •



by Matt Jones

“A Light Dusting”—unlike in some areas. 67 First Great Lake, alphabetically 68 Picks up a book 69 Litigation instigator 70 Outsmart


Try FREE: 503-416-7098 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español 18+

Strike a LiveMatch!

Across 1 1990 Gerardo hit “___ Suave” 5 Depeche ___ 9 Guardian Angels hat 14 See 28-Down 15 Apple MP3 player 16 Battery terminal 17 Sondheim song that starts “Isn’t it rich?” 20 “Right now” 21 102, to Caesar 22 Apprehend 23 Have a meal 24 “Platoon” star Willem 26 Altared statement?

28 Park where Citi Field is located 35 Chinese tea variety 36 Tiresome, like a joke 37 In a ___ (teed off) 38 Back muscle, for short 39 “Inglourious Basterds” org. 40 .com kin 41 Grammynominated Macy Gray song of 2000 43 Australian coat of arms bird 44 Sir Thomas the tea merchant

47 Capricious activity, in a colorful metaphor 50 Corp. takeover strategy 51 “My Dog Has ___” 52 “The Simpsons” storekeeper 55 Actor/writer Barinholtz of “The Mindy Project” 57 Pai ___ (Chinese casino game) 58 Do a lawn chore 61 Goes cuckoo for 65 Nickname for the new host of “Celebrity Apprentice” 66 Extremely urgent

Down 1 Speak with a grating voice 2 How some like their coffee 3 Five, to Francois 4 Without a match 5 Lego person or character, slangily 6 This or that, e.g. 7 “Yeah, that’s what they all say. They all say ___”: Chief Wiggum 8 Garden of ___ (Biblical site) 9 Last name in 2015’s “Creed” 10 “Achtung Baby” coproducer Brian 11 “Dirty Jobs” host Mike 12 “Dame” Everage 13 Blood work, e.g. 18 Billionaire corporate investor Carl 19 Gave in 24 Award for a Brit. officer 25 Do a Google search on yourself, e.g. 27 Component of wpm 28 With 14-Across, vitamin B9 29 Hardly eager 30 Intro for sound or violet 31 Portland Timbers org.

32 “And ___ grow on” 33 Lehar operetta “The Merry ___” 34 Astounds 39 “That’s amazing!” to a texter 42 Designer monogram 43 Edible mushroom of Japan 44 Completely cover 45 Astounded 46 “Antiques Roadshow” airer 48 Birds with curved bills 49 “An Inconvenient Truth” presenter 52 Hardly close 53 Peel, as an apple 54 Bone near the biceps 56 Closings 58 Marshy ground 59 Milo’s pug pal, in a 1986 film 60 Stimulate, as an appetite 62 Ball cap 63 “Elementary” star Lucy 64 Fly catcher

last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ764.


FREE 1on1 8-9PM daily

Talk About A Good Time

ALWAYS FREE to chat with VIP members

(Unlimited VIP membership $15/week. No worries about minutes.)

Portland 503-222-CHAT Vancouver 360-314-CHAT

Salem 503-428-5748 • Eugene 541-636-9099 • Bend 541-213-2444 Seattle 206-753-CHAT •Albany (541)248-1481 • Medford (541)326-4000



Free Live chatrooms & forums! 503-222-6USA


Try it for free

503-416-7436 More local numbers: 1-800-550-0618 Ahora en Español/18+


Willamette Week Classifieds FEBRUARY 3, 2016



503-445-2757 • ©2016 Rob Brezsny

Week of February 4

ARIES (March 21-April 19 The Bible’s Book of Exodus tells the story of the time Moses almost met God. “Show me your glory, please,” the prophet says to his deity, who’s hiding. “You cannot see my face,” God replies, “but I will show you my back parts.” That’s good enough for Moses. He agrees. I hope that you, too, will be satisfied with a tantalizingly partial epiphany, Aries. I’m pretty sure that if you ask nicely, you can get a glimpse of a splendor that’s as meaningful to you as God was to Moses. It may only be the “back parts,” but that should still stir you and enrich you. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The archaic English word “quaintrelle” refers to a woman who treats her life as a work of art. She is passionate about cultivating beauty and pleasure and wit in everything she is and does. But she’s not a narcissistic socialite. She’s not a snooty slave to elitist notions of style. Her aim is higher and sweeter: to be an impeccable, well-crafted fount of inspiration and blessings. I propose that we resuscitate and tinker with this term, and make it available to you. In 2016, you Tauruses of all genders will be inclined to incorporate elements of the quaintrelle, and you will also be skilled at doing so. If you have not yet dived in to this fun work, start now! GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Sufi teacher (and Gemini) Idries Shah offered this teaching: “They say that when Fortune knocks, you should open the door. But why should you make Fortune knock, by keeping the door shut?” Let’s make this your featured meditation, Gemini. If there is anywhere in your life where proverbial doors are shut -- either in the world outside of you or the world inside of you -- unlock them and open them wide. Make it easy for Fortune to reach you.

you can thrive on what happens when you become a bit tilted or uneven or irregular. That’s because the influences that unbalance you will be the same influences that tickle your fancy and charge your batteries and ring your bell and sizzle your bacon. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The African Association was a 19th-century British group dedicated to exploring West Africa. Its members hoped to remedy Europeans’ ignorance about the area’s geography. In one of the Association’s most ambitious projects, it commissioned an adventurer named Henry Nicholls to discover the origin and to chart the course of the legendary Niger River. Nicholls and his crew set out by ship in their quest, traveling north up a river that emptied into the Gulf of Guinea. They didn’t realize, and never figured out, that they were already on the Niger River. I’m wondering if there’s a comparable situation going on in your life, Scorpio. You may be looking for something that you have already found. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Richard P. Feynman was a brilliant physicist who won a Nobel Prize in 1965 for his pioneering work in quantum electrodynamics. He also played the bongo drums and was a competent artist. But excessive pride was not a problem for him. “I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb,” he testified. “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -- and you are the easiest person to fool.” I suggest you adopt him as your role model for the next two weeks, Sagittarius. All of us need periodic reminders that we’ve got a lot to learn, and this is your time. Be extra vigilant in protecting yourself from your own misinformation and misdirection.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Many Cancerians harbor a chronic ache of melancholy about what they’re missing. The unavailable experience in question could be an adventure they wish they were having or an absent ally they long to be near or a goal they wish they had time to pursue. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can harness the chronic ache. In fact, it’s your birthright as a Cancerian to do so. If you summon the willpower to pull yourself up out of the melancholy, you can turn its mild poison into a fuel that drives you to get at least some of what you’ve been missing. Now is a favorable time to do just that.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Food connoisseur Anthony Bourdain has a TV show that enables him to travel the globe indulging in his love of exotic cuisine. He takes his sensual delights seriously. In Charleston, South Carolina, he was ecstatic to experience the flavorful bliss of soft-shell crab with lemon pasta and shaved bottarga. “Frankly,” he told his dining companion, “I’d slit my best friend’s throat for this.” Bourdain was exaggerating for comic effect, but I’m concerned you may actually feel that strongly about the gratifications that are almost within your grasp. I have no problem with you getting super-intense in pursuit of your enjoyment. But please stop short of taking extreme measures. You know why.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22 How will the next chapter of your story unfold? I suspect there are two possible scenarios. In one version, the abundance of choices overwhelms you. You get bogged down in an exciting but debilitating muddle, and become frazzled, frenetic, and overwrought. In the other possible scenario, you navigate your way through the lavish freedom with finesse. Your intuition reveals exactly how to make good use of the fertile contradictions. You’re crafty, adaptable, and effective. So which way will you go? How will the tale unfold? I think it’s completely up to you. Blind fate will have little to do with it. For best results, all you have to do is stay in close touch with the shining vision of what you really want.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You may sometimes be drawn to people or places or ideas long before they can give you their gifts. Although you sense their potential value, you might have to ripen before you’ll be ready to receive their full bounty. Here’s how author Elias Canetti expressed it: “There are books, that one has for twenty years without reading them, that one always keeps at hand, yet one carefully refrains from reading even a complete sentence. Then after twenty years, there comes a moment when suddenly, as though under a high compulsion, one cannot help taking in such a book from beginning to end, at one sitting: it is like a revelation.” I foresee a comparable transition happening for you, Aquarius.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “To hell with my suffering,” wrote Arthur Rimbaud in his poem “May Banners.” I suggest you make that your mantra for now. Anytime you feel a sour thought impinging on your perceptions, say, “To hell with my suffering.” And then immediately follow it up with an expostulation from another Rimbaud poem, “It’s all too beautiful.” Be ruthless about this, Virgo. If you sense an imminent outbreak of pettiness, or if a critical voice in your head blurts out a curse, or if a pesky ghost nags you, simply say, “To hell with my suffering,” and then, “It’s all too beautiful.” In this way, you can take advantage of the fact that you now have more power over your emotional pain than usual.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) The Leaning Tower of Pisa is eight stories high, including its belfry, and tilts sideways at a four-degree angle. When builders started construction back in 1173, they laid a weak foundation in unstable soil, and the building has never stood straight since then. And yet it is the most lucrative tourist attraction in the city of Pisa, and one of the top ten in Italy. Its flaw is the source of its fame and glory. What’s the equivalent in your world, Pisces? Now is a favorable time to take new or extra advantage of something you consider imperfect or blemished.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “I like people who unbalance me,” says Irish writer Colum McCann. Normally I wouldn’t dream of encouraging you to make the same declaration, Libra. My instinct is to help you do everything necessary to maintain harmony. But now is one of those rare times when

CBD (Cannabidiol) Products For Your Pets! Pet Friendly!

Homework Brag about your flaws and weaknesses and mistakes. Send your boast to

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

Steps from the new Orange Line at Holgate Station. 1528 SE Holgate Blvd, Portland OR • (503) 369-8955 pakalolopdx @pakalolopdx Willamette Week Classifieds FEBRUARY 3, 2016



Feel Beautiful Everywhere


Labiaplasty surgery is life transforming for women suffering from discomfort, embarrassing asymmetry or diminished sexual function.


Be Debt Free in 2016! I can help. Scott M. Hutchinson, Atty. Call now at 503-808-9032 Free Confidential Consultation. Affordable Payment Plans. Visit:

Learn about our innovative technique.

Improve aesthetics and functionality, restore your femininity and self-confidence. Discreet consultation with one of Portland’s Top Plastic Surgeons with excellent patient reviews. Call for your consultation at 503.222.0939


Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 969-3134


SERVICES OFFERED • Pap smears and annual exams • Sexually Transmitted Infection testing • Contraception including IUD insertions • Irregular bleeding • Menopause Management • Herbal Consultations both western and traditional Mayan herbs • Nutritional counseling

Learn more and view before-and-after photos at

Referrals and coordination of care as needed

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$ Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185 ext 500

Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. 503-546-3137


I am an experienced, compassionate attorney who can help you find the right solution for you. Stop garnishments, stop foreclosure, deal with tax liabilities and rid yourself of debt. Let me help you find your path to financial freedom. Call Christopher Kane at 503-380-7822. or

Top 1% Portland Agent

Stephen FitzMaurice, Realtor Home Selling Specialist 12+ Years Experience 4.5% Max Commission Stellar service and marketing. Broker in OR at Premiere Property Group. 3636 NE Broadway St. 503-975-6853.

Comedy Classes

Improv, Standup, Sketch writing. Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227

Muay Thai

Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

Ask for Steven. 503-936-5923


Qigong Classes

Cultivate health and energy or 503-740-2666

9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture ï PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500



Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

Self defense & outstanding conditioning. or 503-740-2666

OVERWHELMED BY DEBT? Get a fresh start! Call today for free consultation. Debt relief agency, Attorney, Amber Wolf 503.293.8482


Marijuana Store & More *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

4911 NE Sandy Blvd. Portland, OR 97213 503-384-WEED (9333) SE - 503-236-8800 NE - 503-335-8800

Non-Profit Law Firm Garnished? Eviction? Foreclosure? We can help. Call 503-208-4079 Bankruptcy - Tenant - Sliding-Scale


Get help from an experienced DUII trial lawyer Free Consult./ Vigorous Defense/ Affordable Fees David D. Ghazi, Attorney at Law 620 SW Main St, Ste. 702 (503)-224-DUII (3844)

NORTH WEST HYDROPONIC R&R We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624


MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

503-384-WEED (9333) 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!

42 14 willamette week, february 3, 2016  
42 14 willamette week, february 3, 2016