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VOL 40/21 03.26.2014


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Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

C H R I S R YA N P H O T O . C O M


SUNDAE BEST: Three scoops at the American Local. Page 28.
















STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Kate Willson Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Kathryn Peifer, Cambria Roth, Brendan Welch

CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, Nina Lary, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Enid Spitz, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Kathleen Marie Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Xel Moore, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Will Corwin ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Ginger Craft, Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza TECHFESTNW Program Director Lizzy Caston OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager/Receptionist Sam Cusumano A/P Clerk Andrea Iannone Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Associate Publisher Jane Smith Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. Association of ALTERNATIVE NEWSWEEKLIES This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

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March 30th & March 31st, 2014

The Oregon Medical Marijuana Business Conference in Eugene, Oregon is an event designed to help entrepreneurs and business people prepare to do business in Oregon in a rapidly changing environment. Discussions will cover a variety of topics: understanding the new rules and regulations surrounding Oregon dispensaries; the ancillary businesses surrounding the medical cannabis industry; legislative issues that might affect the business climate of the state; updates on legal proceedings regarding local governments and their authority to limit or ban dispensaries in their respective jurisdictions, and more.

Great job on “The Yoga Issue” [WW, March 19, 2014]. One thing, though, is that Portland stands out in other ways too—karma yoga (the path of service). Portland has several yoga service organizations that work to bring the healing power of yoga to marginalized and vulnerable populations. Right here in town, we have two nationally recognized nonprofits that bring trauma-informed yoga to youth on the streets and in mental health facilities (Street Yoga), and also to youth and adults in prisons, and drug and alcohol treatment centers (Living Yoga). Living Yoga also offers several free classes in the community for people recovering from addictions. It would be great if you could share those resources with folks, too. Community addiction/recovery classes: Living Yoga recovery yoga, 8:30-9:30 am Sundays at the People’s Yoga, 3016 NE Killingsworth St., 877-9644. Living Yoga recovery yoga, 8:30-9:45 am Saturdays at Unfold Studios, 3249 SE Division St., 349-8883. Michael Faith Executive director, Living Yoga


SPEAKERS: Don Duncan Co-Founder and California Director of Americans for Safe Access (ASA) Senator Floyd Prozanski Sponsor of the Dispensary Bill and Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee Lee Berger Prominent Oregon cannabis lawyer, currently representing the most relevant cases in Oregon with respect to municipalities and their authority to regulate dispensaries

Residential zones are residential zones. Commercial zones are commercial zones. This activity shouldn’t be allowed at all [“Suite Surrender,” WW, March 19, 2014]. I bought my home in the center of a residential area, well separated from commercial zones so I wouldn’t have things like hotels operating next door. The expectations of the other taxpaying Portlanders on a block far outweigh the

selfish needs of one property owner like Sheila Baraga. Sheila, if you want to run a bed and breakfast, go find a property with appropriate zoning, register your business, and pay your fees and taxes. —“Phinny” Not all Airbnb guests are out-of-towners looking for a cool place to party. A few years ago, I used Airbnb when my home was undergoing extensive repair for a few days. This allowed my family to stay in our neighborhood and walk to our school and playground, something that would have been impossible had we stayed in a hotel. —“Lily F.”


The work of the Bureau of Environmental Services and the Water Bureau is essential and often complicated [“Hotseat: Nick Fish,” WW, March 19, 2014]. The initiative to take over these bureaus is ill-conceived and, yes, fueled with corporate money. The investments the BES makes to enable the city to comply with the federal Clean Water Act are essential. Their work on storm water is essential. The existing processes in city government allow people to air their grievances. While I do not support this initiative, I certainly do not agree with everything the city has done. That is how life works, and the democratic process. —“Travis Williams” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email:

Anthony Johnson Director of New Approach Oregon and the Executive Director of the Oregon Cannabis Industry Association (OCIA) Troy Dayton CEO of The ArcView Group Alex Rogers CEO of Ashland Alternative Health and Northwest Alternative Health Russ Belville Executive Director of Paul Loney Prominent Oregon cannabis lawyer who has helped hundreds of Oregonians with their canna start-up Todd Dalotto CAN! Research, Education & Consulting, LLC Amy Margolis Representing people charged with marijuana related offenses for 13 years. Since 2009, Amy has expanded her practice to represent clients in all aspects of the cannabis industry. Debby Goldsberry Co-founder Berkeley Patients Group (BPG)

Presented by

For more information on the event call Northwest Alternative Health at 888-920-6076 or visit us online at 4

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

Why is it that the new Duniway/ Cascadia/Tillicum/Wy’east bridge has a lower deck and less vertical clearance for ships than the two immediately adjacent bridges, the Ross Island and the Marquam? —Tom Just in case you haven’t been breathlessly following the pulse-quickening twists and turns of the TriMet bridge-naming process (I know my readers are not exactly Portland’s leading receptacles of civic pride), the four clunky-ass names catenated together above are the finalists for official moniker of the new light-rail bridge. And man, do they suck. If I had more civic pride, I might have tried to stop them. But just because I couldn’t pull my proboscis-like tongue out of a gin bottle long enough to attend the (horrible) public-comment hearings where such decisions are made doesn’t mean I can’t answer your question, Tom. As you may recall from the recent Columbia

River Crossing foofaw, the primary driver of a bridge’s height is not how cool it looks, or how much fun it would be to pee off of it on a windy night. It’s how easily big corporations upstream of that bridge can fit their giant profit-boners under it. For example, if my business model involves having the Washington Monument shipped in by barge twice a year so I can wax it, I can make a case that any new bridge should accommodate that clearance need. When TriMet was designing the bridge, it polled the maritime businesses operating in the area and concluded they could all live with a bridge around 77 feet high, so that’s how tall it is. When the Ross Island (1926) and Marquam (1966) bridges were built, however, there were massive shipyards roughly where the South Waterfront is now. They’re not around anymore to ask, but one presumes these businesses’ navigational-clearance needs drove the 130-foot height of those bridges. QUESTIONS? Send them to

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


MEDIA: The Oregonian’s drive for more clicks at 7 CIVIL RIGHTS: Evangelicals end their fight over same-sex marriage. 13 BUSINESS: The castle of a Portland knave is up for auction. 15 COVER STORY: Two experienced pols fight to run Multnomah County. 17


2013 -14



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Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



Who thinks the Portland Aerial Tram is part of a regional transportation strategy? Metro does. As first reported by Metro News, planners have found the tram—ferrying passengers from South Waterfront to Oregon Health & Science University—is getting too crowded at rush hour. The tram’s two cars carry 6,000 passengers a day and 2,400 during rush hours. “It’s near capacity during rush hour right now,” says Malu Wilkinson, Metro’s principal regional planner. What’s the solution? Dave Unsworth, TriMet director of project development and permitting, says planners are discussing erecting a 90-foot elevator tower with a walkway, leading from Southwest Barbur to Terwilliger boulevards. “This is really conceptual,” he says. “As you can imagine.” Portland energy consultant Robert McCullough is still stirring up trouble at the Columbia Generating Station, the region’s only nuclear power plant (“Costly to the Core,” WW, Dec. 11, 2013). The Tri-City Herald reports that Energy Northwest, the utility that operates the nuclear plant, has estimated it could cost up to $3 million to comply with McCullough Research’s request for public records about its purchase of nuclear fuel from a financially troubled producer in Kentucky. McCullough produced a report in December calling for the plant’s closure, saying shutting it down could save ratepayers $1.7 billion over 20 years. But he’s still not satisfied with the utility’s explanation of the $700 million transaction that provided it with a long-term fuel supply. “This deal was pushed through so fast and with so little review that I want to know more,” McCullough says. “[Energy Northwest] promised its board there would be rate reductions. As far as we can see, there haven’t been.” Portland is rolling out the red carpet for home-rental marketplace Airbnb—and that means rolling back the red tape. The San Francisco online startup, valued at $10 billion, is moving into new Old Town headquarters even as city inspectors issue citations to homeowners using the website to rent out guest rooms (“Suite Surrender,” WW, March 19, 2014). The city has said many Airbnb sites violate city code by operating an unauthorized business in a residential area. Proposed regulations released by the city Bureau of Planning and Sustainability on March 21 would allow rental of up to two bedrooms a night without a $4,130 zoning review. The only caveats: The hosts must live on the property, and they have to inform their immediate neighbors and their neighborhood association. Some foes of Airbnb rentals say the city’s proposals are sensible. Says Tamara DeRidder, Rose City Park Neighborhood Association land-use co-chair: “It actually looks like they’ve threaded the needle pretty well.”

sponsored in part by

The Paul G. Allen Family Foundation

Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.


w w s ta f f



The future of The Oregonian is filled with questions. Do you believe Portland is America’s fittest city? Should dogs be allowed in grocery stores? Would you accept a donated organ from a convicted murderer? The newspaper’s website, Oregonlive. com, has put these questions to readers in online polls in the past week. The polls— intended to hook readers and earn more clicks for the website—have become a mainstay of the newsroom since the paper moved to a “digital first” model last fall. Coming after widespread newsroom layoffs last year, the changes left many at The O worried that the paper’s journalism would be diluted by more reliance on press

releases and links to stories from other media outlets. Since then, they’ve seen a greater dependence on gimmicks such as polls, news stories written solely about readers’ comments, and photo essays on such subjects as obese cats. Now the paper’s East Coast owners say they want even more. Internal documents show the newsroom’s staff faces steep new quotas for feeding the website. The documents, reported by March 23, say 75 percent of reporters’ job performance will be measured by Web-based benchmarks, including how often they post to The most productive reporters at meeting their goals will have a chance at earning merit pay. Reporters and editors tell WW they fear the new policy will take even more time away from serious journalism, and that it’s merely the latest fusillade in a campaign by the paper’s New York-based owners, Advance Publications Inc., to change the culture of the newsroom to that of a factory floor. They say Oregonian ma nagement faces growing pressure from Advance to increase Web traffic at the same pace as

the chain’s other newspapers—even if that means more posts on celebrity gossip and sports. “Our posts are still news-driven,” says one Oregonian reporter, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Advance is mad at us, that we haven’t gone deep enough into the Web world.” In October, The Oregonian became a “digital first” media company, with news stories posted first to its website, then dropped into a print edition that was reduced to home delivery four days a week. Since then, The Oregonian has continued to report in-depth investigative stories, including repeated exposure of lapses at the Cover Oregon health-insurance exchange. And it has used the Web to produce elegant features, like a profile earlier this month of hip-hop artists in St. Johns. The paper’s latest policy—one of the most aggressive efforts yet by a legacy media company to force reporters onto the Internet—has sparked renewed debate over whether journalists should be compensated based on their Web traffic. “In the more-with-less annals of corporate mandates,” wrote New York Times

media columnist David Carr on March 24, “this one is a doozy.” Carr compares the Advance directives to the policies of several Web-based media companies, including Gawker, where financially rewarding reporters for drawing traffic is common practice. “And journalism’s status as a profession is up for grabs,” Carr writes. “A viral hit is no longer defined by the credentials of an individual or organization. The media ecosystem is increasingly a pro-am affair, where the wisdom—or prurient interest— of the crowd decides what is important and worthy of sharing.” Under the new quotas, beat reporters will be expected to post at least three times a day, and all reporters are expected to increase their average number of posts by 40 percent over the next year. “On any post of substance, [the] reporter will post the first comment,” the policy says. “Beat reporters [are to] solicit ideas and feedback through posts, polls and comments on a daily basis.” Already, reader polls and roundups of reader comments have become pillars of, along with noon and evening posts listing the five most popular stories of the day. And when a topic gets lots of traffic, reporters milk it further. The March 10 story of a family that called 911 to report the aggressive behavior of its housecat led to a slide show about “5 famous Portland fat cats.” cont. on page 11 Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



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Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

MEDIA The paper’s traffic is already sizable, with online metrics site Quantcast showing 23 million page views last month. But its monthly average page views only grew by 4 percent in 2013, according to Quantcast. That growth is similar to other Advance holdings last year—its papers in New Orleans, Alabama and New York also saw modest Web gains. But the company’s ambition is to grow Web traffic far faster: The new policy says Advance is aiming to increase page views by 27.7 percent in the next year. Editor Peter Bhatia informed staff of the new policy last month. Bhatia tells WW that high-quality reporting will remain at the center of how The Oregonian evaluates its employees. “These are goals,” Bhatia wrote to WW in an email. “We will, of course, adjust and refine for individual situations, changing assignments and the necessities of individual beats.” Bhatia announced March 6 he is leaving later this year, after 20 years at the paper, to take a one-year teaching job at Arizona State University’s Cronkite School of Journalism. Bhatia tells WW that The Oregonian has for several years used an evaluation system to determine bonuses. Longtime employees say management has distributed merit pay in a far more subjective fashion, giving it to those who produced the year’s best work, for example, or distinguished themselves as leaders in the newsroom. Oregonian Media Group president and

publisher N. Christian Anderson said in an email to WW that Web posting will be only one of many factors in evaluating reporters. “Incentive pay is not tied exclusively to any one goal,” Anderson says, “but rather to

the full range of journalistic achievement.” Ken Doctor, a longtime analyst of the news industry and a onetime editor and publisher in Oregon, says the new policy at The O is part of a “shock treatment” by


Advance to force reporters to do better work faster. “They’re trying to lead a cultural revolution,” Doctor says, “but they’re doing it by the numbers and through quotas.” Doctor says the inevitable result of the policy is more “bits and bites” of coverage. “If not leavened by journalistic judgment,” he says, “it will tend to dumb down the product.” Doctor questions whether Advance’s insistence on increasing page views— instead of creating a paywall, and enticing readers to subscribe online—is the smartest strategy for making money on the Web. “They ’re still focused on spinning page views, as opposed to deeply engaging with paying readers online,” says Doctor. “Advance is marching off in the wrong direction.” Joshua Benton, director of the Nieman Journalism Lab, tells WW that Advance’s new policy makes sense given the company’s strategy. Benton says newspaper companies are doomed if they don’t find new ways to attract readers and make money. While he doesn’t agree with everything Advance is doing, Benton says he admires the company’s courage to take a big gamble by pushing its traditional publications toward the Web so aggressively. “I wish we still lived in an era when owning a newspaper was a license to print money,” he says. “But the harsh reality is, that era is over. So newspaper companies are making bets. This is their bet.”

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Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



SHIFTING FOCUS: Kevin Palau, president of the Luis Palau Association, says he and other evangelical leaders in Oregon are done fighting same-sex marriage.


In 2007, host Ira Glass of This American Life came to Portland on a book tour and was scheduled to speak at the 1,500-seat New Hope Community Church in Happy Valley. He asked for a change of venue when he learned the evangelical church had three years earlier fought to pass a ballot measure that banned same-sex marriage in Oregon. When Kurt Kroon arrived the following year to start work as a pastor at New Hope, he says he was surprised at the church’s reputation as anti-gay. “I was shocked that this was one of the dominant online conversations,” Kroon says. “That’s just not what we want to be known for.” Most evangelicals still believe marriage should remain between one man and one woman. But many now question the intense political focus on same-sex marriage that drove the ban a decade ago. “Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have believed I would have this feeling, but I think I’m with a lot of people in the evangelical camp,” says Janet Cotton, also a pastor at New Hope. “I don’t want people to think I’ve sold out my belief

system, but I don’t want to be harsh and judgmental.” Today, the Oregon Family Council, a key proponent of the 2004 same-sex marriage ban, is betting its evangelical base will rally behind an initiative allowing businesses to refuse to provide products and services—such as wedding cakes, flower arrangements and tuxedos and gowns—for same-sex wedding ceremonies. But some of the state’s most prominent evangelical pastors say times have changed, and the Oregon Family Council can’t count on their congregations to fall in line. “I honestly think they misjudged this,” says Gerry Breshears, a professor of theology at Western Seminary in Portland. “Ten years ago, they carried a lot of political weight, and I don’t think they do anymore.” The Oregon Family Council, which led the 2004 fight for the marriage ban, is backing the new measure. The group needs more than 87,000 signatures by July 3 to get the measure on the November ballot. The measure’s ballot title still requires approval by the Secretary of State’s Office before petitioners can start gathering signatures. Tim Nashif, co-founder of the Oregon Family Council, says he’s not worried about getting the measure on the ballot. “People underestimate how fast we can move,” Nashif says. “At least they did until 2004.” That year, Nashif led the effort to put Oregon’s same-


sex marriage ban, Measure 36, on the ballot by collecting 244,000 signatures in just five weeks. But Breshears and others say many evangelical churches have moved away from the same-sex marriage fight, which many see as lost. “Historically, there’s been an unhealthy alignment of white evangelical churches with right-wing Republicans,” says Josh Butler, a pastor at Imago Dei Community in Portland. “We’re not trying to swing left, but we’re trying to create a space where followers can wrestle with this.” Imago Dei and other evangelical churches have worked in partnership with Kevin Palau, an evangelical leader and president of the Luis Palau Association known for his friendship with Portland’s openly gay former mayor, Sam Adams. Palau says he and other evangelical leaders held a series of meetings with Adams and other city officials beginning in 2007 to shift from political issues to social ills such as hunger, homelessness and health care. “We don’t want to be known for what we’re against, but what we’re for,” Palau says. “We’re seeing so much good being done by serving the community that there’s less energy being given to fighting political battles.” Most Americans see evangelicals as unfriendly to gays and lesbians, according to a study released last month by the Public Religious Research Institute. But while fewer than one in five older evangelicals supports same-sex marriage, nearly half of millennial evangelicals do. “Evangelical America is changing,” says Tom Krattenmaker, author of The Evangelicals You Don’t Know. “It’s becoming less and less like the situation we saw a decade ago. You won’t find evangelicals marching in lockstep.” Adds Breshears: “Ten years ago, there was a feeling we could make a difference. Now there is not. Older evangelicals are saying, ‘We’ve been run over by the steamroller.’ Younger ones are saying, ‘What’s the issue?’” Nashif says there are still plenty of evangelical churches in Oregon that will engage politically on the question of samesex marriage and the Oregon Family Council’s new initiative. “We don’t need the cooperation of pastors, and if they feel like they don’t want to participate,” he says. “If they do not feel their churches should get involved in a public-policy issue, I’d be the last person to ask them to do it.” Initiative spokeswoman Teresa Harke says a 2013 survey conducted by Gateway Communications, a consulting company owned by Nashif and fellow Oregon Family Council co-founder Michael White, showed 75 percent support for a measure that allows businesses to object to same-sex marriage on religious grounds. Cliff Good, pastor at Valley View Evangelical Church in Clackamas, says pastors struggle to respond to the quickening cultural shift. At 66, Good counts himself among the older set. He opposes redefining marriage away from tradition, and says he’s glad Oregon law protects him from being forced to officiate for gay couples. “But if I own a business that sells cakes, that’s a whole different issue to me,” Good says. “That’s not a marriage issue. That’s a business.”

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014





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FORECLOSURE WITH A VIEW: Andrew Wiederhorn’s former West Hills mansion is going up for auction after the businessman stopped making mortgage payments on the $6.8 million house.



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The most expensive home ever sold at a Multnomah County sheriff’s foreclosure auction will go on the block April 2. It’s a 20,000-square-foot, $6.8 million mansion atop the Southwest Hills, the last Portland home owned by Andrew Wiederhorn. The sale may be the final act in the scandalous financial history of Wiederhorn’s time here, a story that includes fraud, a trip to federal prison and a lot of empty-handed investors. More than a decade ago, Wiederhorn was at the center of the financial meltdown of Capital Consultants, an investment company headed by another Portland power player, Jeff Grayson. Wiederhorn grew up in Portland but since 2009 has lived in California, where his primary investment, the Fatburger fast-food chain, is headquartered. He now lives in a Beverly Hills home (Zillow. com values it at $10 million) and is philosophical about the foreclosure. “I haven’t lived in the house for five years,” he says of the Portland mansion. “And my family’s been out of it for four years.” “I’m looking forward to not paying the utilities,” he adds. Everything about the house is outsized—it’s got 10 bedrooms, an indoor basketball court with an ornate “ W” painted on the f loor, a 2,000-square-foot pool house and a five-car garage. Property taxes are $115,000 a year. In 1995, before he’d turned 30, Wiederhorn paid $1.5 million for the Southwest Greenleaf Drive property previously owned by Sequent Computer Systems co-founder Casey Powell. At the time, Wiederhorn was considered a business phenomenon. His company, Wilshire Financial Services Group, made its money buying bad loans at deep discounts. His stock in the company grew to be worth nearly $140 million when Wiederhorn was only 32. A 1997 Oregonian

profile dubbed him the “$100 Million Dad.” Wiederhorn says he plowed another $10 million into the Portland house, renovating and expanding it for his wife, Tiffany, and six children. But his business cratered in 1999, amid a global debt crisis. Wilshire spiraled into bankruptcy, but that was the least of Wiederhorn’s problems. He had formed a symbiotic relationship with Grayson, whose company handled union pensionfund investments. Grayson was actually running a Ponzi scheme, funneling money to Wiederhorn in exchange for personal loans. When Wilshire collapsed, Grayson’s clients took the hit, resulting in what federal officials called the largest union pension fraud in U.S. history. Grayson, who suffered from multiple sclerosis, pleaded guilty to fraud but suffered a stroke and never went to prison. He died in 2009 at age 67. In June 2004, Wiederhorn pleaded guilty to federal charges of paying an illegal gratuity and filing a false tax return. He was sentenced to 18 months in prison; he served 14 months. The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission sanctioned his new company, Fog Cutter Capital, for continuing to pay Wiederhorn’s salary and a $2 million bonus while he was imprisoned. In 2011, Wiederhorn put the Portland house on the market for $6 million but found no buyers. Documents show that Wiederhorn today owes Citibank $4.3 million on the Portland house, a sum that is growing by more than $1,000 a day. “I signed the house over to the bank a year ago,” Wiederhorn says. “After this, they’ll release me from the debt.” Wiederhorn says he still ow ns a 9-acre oceanfront estate in Gearhart but that he’s done with Portland. “I don’t have any plans to live in Oregon,” he says. Since his legal problems, Wiederhorn has focused on building Fatburger. Last year, he appeared on CBS’s Undercover Boss, where he portrayed himself as a benevolent CEO tripped up by bad legal advice but intent on making employees’ lives better. Tom Chamberlain, president of the AFL-CIO of Oregon, scoffs at Wiederhorn’s claim to care about employees. He says union workers and pensioners are still dealing with the financial hit delivered by Grayson and Wiederhorn. “To be able to ruin workers’ lives and then move down to L.A. to run a company and live in a very nice house is unbelievable,” Chamberlain says. “It’s a shining example of what’s wrong with our criminal justice system and our economy.” Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


photos by AdAM WiCkhAM



ultnomah County government is like plumbing: essential but only noticed when there’s a mess.

But few understand the role of Multnomah County chair. Bev Stein, who served as county chairwoman from 1993 to 2001, describes the work as “serving the needy and the naughty.” In so doing, Multnomah County takes on some of the region’s most difficult and expensive challenges. The county, under the auspices of the sheriff’s office, runs 1,200 jail beds at an annual cost of $107 The most recent pipe break occurred last million and spends another $50 million supervissummer, when the tawdry personal life of then- ing ex-cons. The county also provides health care to Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen bubbled one in 10 county residents, including tens of thouinto public view. Cogen resigned under pressure sands grappling with mental illness. The library in September after admitting to an affair with an and its 18 branches, six Willamette River bridges and even Vector Control—the office that hunts underling and lying about the circumstances. Now, the highest-stakes race facing the region’s down vermin—fall under the county’s control. voters in the May 20 primary is a matchup between The county chair gets paid more than Porttwo veteran politicians—Jim Francesconi and land’s mayor—$140,000 compared to $128,000 Deborah Kafoury—competing to fill out Cogen’s annually—and also wields far more authority over remaining term and go on to serve four more years county staff, policy and budget than does the mayor in a position that paradoxically combines great over city staff, policy and budget. Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith reports to power with near obscurity. Consider: The county employs more than an elected board, and Mayor Charlie Hales shares 4,500 people and has a $469 million general-fund the management of city bureaus with four commisbudget—virtually as large as that of both the city of sioners who are nearly his equal. County commisPortland and Portland Public Schools, the region’s sioners, by contrast, have little authority. Most of that belongs to the chair. two other big government entities. “County chairs really have two big jobs,” Stein Everybody knows what Portland Public Schools does. And many people know city government pro- says. “They are in charge of the legislative part but vides police, firefighters, streets and parks. also serve as the chief executive with all hiring, fir-

ing and budget-writing authority.” (Steven Reynolds, James O. Rowell, Aquiles Montas, Wes Soderback and Patty Burkett are also running for county chair in the primary. Any candidate who wins a majority of the votes is elected outright. Otherwise, the top two finishers move on to a runoff.) For Kafoury, the race is about strengthening the safety net on which the county’s most vulnerable citizens rely. She boasts one of Oregon’s most recognizable political names, legislative leadership experience and five years as a county commissioner. For Francesconi, the race is a comeback from embarrassment. After serving two terms on the City Council, he entered the 2004 mayor’s race as a strong front-runner but lost badly. Now, he’s seeking to rewrite the final chapter of his political career by running a campaign aimed at addressing poverty. And for voters, it’s a chance to choose between two experienced politicians who both say they want to set county government on a new path. Veteran lobbyist Len Bergstein says in 40 years of watching county races, this one could be the most competitive he’s seen. “County chair races have rarely been seriously contested,” Bergstein says. “This is the best matchup we’ve had in a long time.” Cont. on page 18

ABOVE: The two leading candidates for Multnomah County chair, former Portland City Commissioner Jim Francesconi and former Multnomah County Commissioner Deborah Kafoury, bring strong credentials to the May primary. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



adam WickHam


TALKING ABOUT POVERTY: “We need more jobs in this county,” Jim Francesconi says. “It’s the whole idea of working with the high schools and community colleges to get kids ready. There’s no elected official doing that.”


“He’s Hungry and looking for redemption” Jim Francesconi, 61, has undergone two hip replacements. He moves gingerly, and his expression often settles somewhere between a wince and a grimace. “The hips are OK,” he says, “but I’ve got some degeneration in my back.” It’s hard not to see something else behind his expression: the memory of a defeat that for any politician would be difficult to shake. Ten years ago, Francesconi let what many people believed was an easy election as mayor of Portland slip from his grasp. He was then a two-term city commissioner who raised more than $1 million for the mayor’s race, shattering all previous fundraising records and scaring off serious challengers. It was how Francesconi positioned himself that caused his campaign to unravel. He came to resemble an offshoot of the Portland Business Alliance and its 18

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

powerful downtown members. To many people, his corporate fundraising and message were inexplicable, given that he’d come to politics as a community organizer and lawyer for injured workers who often talked of representing the average voter. In the end, Francesconi lost by 20 percentage points to former Portland Police Chief Tom Potter, who accepted only small campaign donations and proved a populist alternative to Francesconi’s bigmoney identity. The rout was so complete that Francesconi did not bother to vote for himself—the only time in 40 elections he failed to fill out a ballot. “My greatest weakness?” Francesconi asks. “Wanting to be liked.” He says he regrets the amount of money he raised in 2004 because it gave voters the wrong picture of who he is. “I wanted to be mayor too badly,” Francesconi says. “I was running a cor-

porate campaign. The result I got [losing by 20 points], I can see why that happened.” Allies say a desire to avenge that 2004 defeat are a big part of why Francesconi, after a decade out of politics, is seeking election as Multnomah County chair. “He’s hungry and looking for redemption,” says Joe Baessler, political director of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, the union that represents 2 ,800 count y workers and has endorsed Francesconi. Francesconi insists, however, that his motivation has nothing to do with himself and is all about Multnomah County’s neediest citizens. “The thing I care most about is the people left out and left behind,” he says. Francesconi doesn’t need a job. He’s a partner at Haglund Kelley, a downtown law firm, and a member of the Oregon University System board. He lives in an $780,000 home on A lameda Ridge in Northeast Portland and owns a vacation house in Sunriver. Now, instead of running as the candidate of downtown business interests— Portland’s 1 percent—he’s running to help the other 99. He’s made his campaign about income

inequality, talking about his four grandparents who came to the U.S. from Italy penniless. “There are a lot of vulnerable people who need to be protected,” Francesconi says. “If the county doesn’t protect people, nobody else will.” Francesconi grew up in Eureka, Calif., the son of a bartender father and bank teller mother. A fter graduating from Stanford, he served as a Jesuit volunteer in Portland for a year, running the gym at St. Andrew Catholic Church on pregentrification Northeast Alberta Street, before earning a law degree at the University of Oregon. He practiced personal injury law in Portland for 18 years and worked on projects such as helping gang kids find jobs. Fra ncescon i won election to t he Portland City Council in 1996, and was best known for his tenure as parks commissioner. Under his leadership, the parks bureau passed a $48 million bond issue in 2002. He also partnered with then-Multnomah County Chairwoman Bev Stein to found the Schools Uniting Neighborhoods (SUN) program, which serves low-income kids and has grown to include 70 schools in six Multnomah County districts.


On the City Council, though, he earned a reputation for being indecisive and giving lengthy soliloquies before even the most routine council votes. He dithered over a long-running dog-park controversy. He wrote to President George W. Bush, asking him not to invade Iraq in 2003, then voted against a council resolution opposing that war. In 2004, when Multnomah County began marrying gay couples, he said he personally opposed gay marriage but thought it was legally defensible. “He was not very effective,” says Dave Lister, who served on the small-business advisory committee that Francesconi created and who ran unsuccessfully for the City Council in 2006. “Whoever had his ear last swayed his opinion.” Francesconi now says he wishes he’d been more decisive. “I could have taken more risks as a city commissioner,” he says. He cites a City Council vote that stripped work-force programs from the city-owned Portland Development Commission. “I should have done more for working people in that case,” he says. “I should have bucked everybody else.” Since losing to Potter for mayor, he has resumed his law practice and also lobbied for clients such as Portland Community College,


in Old Town. “He certainly wasn’t talking this way when he ran in 2004.” Rather than focusing on the county’s core missions of public heath and public safety, however, Francesconi says he’ll make “job creation the central priority of my administration.” Positioning a government that runs jails, health care and social services as a job-creating machine seems at odds with the county’s mission. Jewel La nsing , author of book s about Portland city government and Multnomah County, says Francesoni’s emphasis on economic development is misplaced. “That’s not a core function of county government,” says Lansing, who supports Kafoury. Stein, the former count y cha ir woma n, agrees. “The county’s role is helping people get healthy—preparing them so they can get jobs—but I’m not sure what it means to create jobs at the county level,” she says. Stein also supports Kafoury, even though she worked closely with Francesconi to create the SUN program. That snub is a theme in Fra ncesconi’s endorsement list: None of the city commissioners or the mayor he served with is endorsing him. Nor are county commissioners from that time.

“Jim Francesconi winces at the experience and the choices he made in the 2004 campaign,” —Tim NesbiTT, a former uNioN leader aNd chief of sTaff To Gov. Ted KuloNGosKi, aNd fraNcescoNi supporTer

the Pacific Northwest Regional Council of Carpenters, and Moda Health. He co-founded the Oregon Idea, a nonprofit aimed at increasing higher-education funding. He also pursued a return to politics. In 2011, he talked to more than 100 people about running for mayor but stayed out of the race. He now says the county chair’s job appeals to him because it’s where he can do the most good. “The county’s approach is not effective at slowing the growth of poverty—it’s doubled here in the past 11 years,” he says. Supporters say Francesconi has remade himself, returning to his social-justice roots. “Jim Francesconi winces at the experience and the choices he made in the 2004 campaign,” says Tim Nesbitt, a former union leader and chief of staff to Gov. Ted Kulongoski, and a Francesconi supporter. “He’s different and he’s thinking differently from when he was on the City Council,” says Genny Nelson, the retired co-founder of Sisters of the Road, which serves the homeless

The major public employee unions, which can write big checks and activate platoons of members, are supporting Francesconi. He’s notched endorsements from A FSCME; the Service Employees International Union, the state’s largest union; and the Portland Association of Teachers. But records obtained by WW show Francesconi won the SEIU and AFSCME endorsements after making explicit promises that, if elected, he would work to increase union membersh ip u nder cou nt y contractors— something that could violate laws preventing elected officials from actively favoring unions. (See sidebar, page 23.) Nesbitt says Francesconi brings a depth of experience and passion to the race that should outweigh any negatives. “When you go through winning and losing and you bounce back,” Nesbitt says, “the resilience and the seasoning you get from that experience is tremendously valuable.”



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ALL IN THE FAMILY: “My mother taught me if you don’t care who gets the credit, you can get a lot done,” Deborah Kafoury says. “I’ve taken that to heart.”


“She cleArly cAn’t run AS An outSider” In the past five years, no one worked more closely with then-Multnomah County Chairman Jef f Cogen tha n Debora h Kafoury. As the county commissioner representing parts of Southeast Portland and the west side, Kafoury leveraged the skills she had acquired in legislative leadership a decade ago to help Cogen restore luster to the county board. They got the long-stalled Sellwood Bridge replacement project mov ing, opened a new Crisis Assessment and Treatment Center for urgent mental-heath conditions, and worked closely together to strengthen the county’s troubled finances. But that closeness ended last July when Cogen admitted to having an affair with a county staffer. He resigned in September, creating both a burden and an opportunity for Kafoury. She was his obvious successor but also had to quickly distance herself from him. She says Cogen let the public—and her– down. “My colleagues and I wanted to raise the credibility of Multnomah County, work hard, show results and be professional,” Kafoury says. “We all kept our end the bargain. Jeff didn’t.” Kafoury’s dilemma is that for most of her five years as a county commissioner,

she and her colleagues did make significant progress, only to see the county once again wind up as a punch line. In addition to dista ncing herself from Cogen, Kafoury has also run on the strength of what she accomplished while working alongside him. “I can’t control what happened to Jeff Cogen, but the rest of us worked hard to maintain services,” Kafoury says. “I don’t believe one person’s actions should define a government.” She resigned her seat in October, giving up the security of incumbency to run against Jim Francesconi, a trial lawyer who throws out subtle reminders of the county’s troubles. “There’s been instability in county government,” he told the audience at a recent Gateway Area Business Association candidate forum. “It’s unsettling.” Pacific University political science professor Jim Moore says Kafoury must walk a tightrope. “She clearly can’t run as an outsider,” Moore says. “So she’s got to show that when she was at the county, she was a change agent and that change was successful.” Kafoury grew up in Portland politics. Her father, lobbyist Stephen Kafoury, served six years in the Legislature in the 1970s and later on the Portland School

Board. Her mother, Gretchen Kafoury, served in the Legislature, the county commission and spent two terms on the City Council. Her stepmother, Marge Kafoury, is a lobbyist, and her uncle Greg Kafoury has earned headlines as a top trial lawyer. (She has one sibling, a younger sister, Katharine, who’s a personal trainer and apolitical.) Debora h Ka four y ’s husba nd, Ni k Blosser, owns Celilo Group Media, which produces the Chinook Book. He’s a former political consultant and a co-founder and current board chairman of the Oregon Business Association and chairman of Sokol Blosser, one of Oregon’s oldest wineries. Kafoury says growing up in a political family put her face to face with the people the county serves. “Many of the reasons I’m running come from my mother,” she said at a recent candidate forum. “When I was young, we frequently had guests who were homeless or escaping domestic violence.” Kafoury, 46, has built a lengthy political résumé of her own. She won her first election in fifth grade, defeating future City Commissioner Erik Sten in the race for class president. “It still stings,” Sten says. After graduating from Whitman College, Kafoury worked for U.S. Rep. Les AuCoin, then as a researcher and political consultant. After that, she worked for her father’s lobbying firm before winning election to the Oregon House as a Democrat in 1998. In her second term, at age 33,

she rose to minority leader at a time when Republicans controlled both legislative chambers. She remains the youngest woman ever to hold that position, although because Republicans enjoyed a 35-to-25 majority in her final term, Democrats were largely irrelevant. “We disagreed on policy,” says state Sen. Tim Knopp (R-Bend), who was then House Republican leader. “But she always acted with the highest integrity, and I trusted her.” As a caucus leader, Kafoury was more involved in strategy than specific legislation. But she helped pass bills that increased the childcare tax credit for working families and resulted in new funding for domestic violence victims. “Deborah was a strong and highly organized leader,” says Senate Majority Leader Diane Rosenbaum (D-Portland), who entered the House with Kafoury in 1999. As the caucus leader, Kafoury was senior to legislative classmate Jeff Merkley, who went on to become a U.S. senator. Had she stayed in the Legislature, Kafoury might be House speaker or hold statewide office. But she walked away from Salem after the 2003 session to concentrate on raising her children, now ages 13, 10 and 8. She returned to electoral politics in 2008, winning a seat on the county commission over token opposition and just as easily winning re-election in 2012. Asked to give herself a grade on the cont. on page 23 Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


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cont. On the stump, Kafoury is stiffer than Francesconi, whose years as a trial lawyer and experience running for mayor and the City Council (Francesconi beat Sten and Gail Shibley, who is now Mayor Charlie Hales’ chief of staff) sharpened his speaking skills. At a recent candidate forum held by an east county business group, Kafoury gave a tone-deaf response to a question about her top priority for capital spending. She told the audience she had secured $15 million from the Legislature to do preliminary work for a new Multnomah County courthouse. Kafoury points to studies that show the current courthouse would collapse in an earthquake and is otherwise obsolete. She seemed oblivious to the unlikelihood business people east of I-205 would be enthused about a downtown project absorbing scarce county cash. Francesconi pounced on her answer. “We don’t have the money for a courthouse. That will cost $210 million,” he said. “For me, the priority is roads and sidewalks for east county.” His response drew more smiles and nods from the audience than Kafoury’s answer. Kafoury says she’s not very good at selling herself. “I don’t toot my own horn,” she says. “I don’t go out and give speeches to give myself accolades.” Critics say Kafoury is insular, sticking


five years she spent as a county commissioner, Kafoury initially awards herself a B+. When pressed on what could have gone better, she says she cannot think of anything. “Maybe I’ll give myself an A,” she says. Unlike city commissioners, who are elected at large and have direct authority over assigned city bureaus, the county’s four elected commissioners are elected by geographic districts and have no specific policy responsibilities. Kafoury points to the execution of the Sellwood Bridge replacement project as her top accomplishment at the county. She drew on her relationships in Salem— including with state Sen. Bruce Starr (R-Hillsboro)—to convince lawmakers to provide a total of $35 million for the bridge. “I came up with a plan where others had not been able to,” Kafoury says. She spent most of her time working on homelessness and housing issues. “Deborah’s always been a great defender of protecting and defending human services,” says Steve Weiss, who, as a board member of the Community Alliance of Tenants and Independent Living Resources, has dealt with the county on housing and disability issues. The county chair race against Francesconi marks the first time Kafoury has ever faced an opponent with the experience and resources to give her a real challenge.

TO WIN UNION ENDORSEMENTS, FRANCESCONI MADE BIG PROMISES Jim Francesconi won key endorsements from two public employee unions after pledging that, if elected Multnomah County chairman, he would use his influence to increase the number of union workers employed by county contractors. Francesconi also said he would require that the buildings the county owns or rents employ union janitors and security guards. He made those pledges in writing last month in response to questions from the Service Employees International Union, the state’s largest labor union. SEIU and the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, the largest county workers union, later endorsed Francesconi. If he wins and carries out his pledges, Francesconi could run afoul of a state law that prohibits elected officials from using their influence to favor union organizing. The Public Employer Accountability Act, passed by the Legislature in 2013, states, “A public employer may not use public funds to support actions to assist, promote or deter union organizing.” The law covers an agency’s employees and “employees of its subcontractors.” Another state law prohibits a political candidate from offering an incentive in exchange for an endorsement. Francesconi made the promises on a questionnaire

close to her home in Eastmoreland, one the city’s most affluent neighborhoods. The one current county commissioner who has endorsed Francesconi, Diane McKeel, represents east county. The mayors of Fairview, Wood Village and Troutdale have also endorsed Francesconi. “Deb has not showed up for a major event in east county in the last five years,” says Troutdale Mayor Doug Daoust. “I never did see her out here. I think Jim sees us as partners, and Deborah sees us as an


interest group at election time.” “There’s life beyond 162nd Avenue,” adds Fairview Mayor Mike Weatherby. “He just seems to understand that better than she does.” Kafoury says she’s been to plenty of east county events, noting that four of

sent to him and his chief opponent, Deborah Kafoury. Candidates routinely fill out questionnaires for interest groups as part of the endorsement process. Francesconi’s campaign provided his answers to WW. One of the questions that SEIU, which represents custodians, posed was this: “Many state, local and federal contracting standards take into account things like wages, benefits, training, and labor relations. What standards do you think are important to awarding contracts?” “I would like to work with SEIU and AFSCME to assist in unionizing nonprofit county contractors that do not pay living wages,” Francesconi wrote. “I also want to mention that the county is a major renter and property owner in the county and should require that all buildings are served by union cleaners [and] security guards.” Multnomah County spends more than $100 million a year on outside contracts, each approved and signed by the chair, who has a degree of budget and decision-making authority far greater than that of Portland’s mayor. Francesconi’s response carries an implicit promise to the unions: They will get more members, more dues and more clout. The benefits he’s seeking are the endorsements, contributions and manpower the unions can bring to his campaign. When WW asked Francesconi about the SEIU questionnaire, he initially said: “I didn’t write this. It’s wrong.” In a later phone message, he backtracked. “I overreacted,” he said. “I’m standing by that language.” In a subsequent interview that day, Francesconi said “assisting in unionizing” would not create a conflict with state law that prohibits public officials from helping unions in their organizing efforts. “How you ‘assist’ is by making sure contractors have neutrality agreements,” he says. “The assistance has to be within the confines of the law.” Francesconi acknowledges that his answer about “requiring” buildings that rent space to the county have unionized janitors and security guards went too far. “The language is too strong,” he says. “You can’t require that.” However, Francesconi says his answer to SEIU about increasing union membership was not an offer of something of value in exchange for an endorsement. “It’s not a quid pro quo,” Francesconi says. “I think the unions view me as somebody who’s trying to close the


Gresham’s city councilors support her. Her cent ra l c a mpa ig n message— streng thening the safety net for the county’s most vulnerable citizens—is less sexy than Francesconi’s promise to focus on creating jobs. She says it’s also more realistic. “The best way Multnomah County can help with economic development is by doing our job well,” Kafoury says. “Nobody else is tasked with providing services that we provide. If we provide them efficiently, that allows more people to do what they are capable of.” Former County Chairwoman Stein echoes many supporters when she says that Kafoury understands the county’s mission better and has the long-term commitments to prove it. “I have nothing against Jim,” Stein says. “She’s just better prepared to take on the county role. She’s got the background, and she’s really good at building relationships.” Sten, who served on the City Council with Francesconi for six years, and served as a City Hall aide to Gretchen Kafoury before that, is also endorsing Kafoury. “She is more experienced, more current and has shown a better track record of bringing her colleagues together,” Sten says. “She knows the budget inside and out and is that unusual candidate who can bring new skills to an office that needs it while also providing continuity.”

gap between rich and poor. I’m very proud of standing up for working people.” Keith Cunningham-Parmeter, an associate professor at Willamette University College of Law, says no matter how much public officials may like or dislike unions, they must remain neutral. That means not using the public’s checkbook to help unions add members. “The law says employers cannot use public funds to encourage or discourage union membership,” he says. Cunningham-Parmeter says, in his opinion, Francesconi appears to be offering a quid pro quo. “The candidate is saying that with greater union support for him will come greater rates of unionization for them,” he says. Portland pollster Adam Davis, who has worked in politics for 30 years but is not involved in the county chair race, says he’s never heard of a candidate making such a bold proposition. “Whoa,” Davis said when WW shared Francesconi’s response. “I haven’t heard of anything like that before in Oregon.” SEIU political director Felisa Hagins says Francesconi has done nothing wrong. She believes Francesconi’s pledge to “assist in unionizing” and “require all buildings are served” by union cleaners and security guards violates no law and is not a quid pro quo. “That’s absurd,” Hagins says. “A quid pro quo has to be very specific, like, ‘If you give me $10,000 and an endorsement, I’ll guarantee you 30 new union jobs.’ That’s not even close to what he said.” Hagins says SEIU, which represents about 600 workers employed by county contractors, endorsed Francesconi because he performed better in the candidates’ joint interview. “Our members felt strongly because he came in with a message about income inequality that resonated with their working lives,” Hagins says. “Deborah was not as able to articulate the good work she’s done.” AFSCME statewide political director Joe Baessler says he was unaware of what Francesconi wrote to SEIU. Baessler attended AFSCME’s interview with Francesconi and says the candidate made no such representations then or in any other communications he’s aware of. “Our members like Deborah,” Baessler says. “But as one of them said, ‘Jim comes across as more of a fighter.’” NIGEL JAQUISS. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014




Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing Solutions for Owners & Managers


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Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

8/22/11 2:48 PM

Some day in the near future, your neighborhood is likely to be rocked by an explosion. The force will probably to be minor: enough to blow out a few windows and maybe some drywall. You’ll wonder whether the big one’s finally come, or your neighbors improperly installed their gas water heater, or a chemistry teacher afflicted with late-stage cancer decided to manufacture methamphetamine. This theoretical explosion will not be caused by the po-po or a ceremonial meth cook simply living out the customs and rituals of a bygone culture. No, friends, our theoretical explosion will be due to the illegal marijuana trade. At least that’s how the media frame this scene. Your violently conservative familial relations will see the news that a marijuana grow house done blowed up. “They’re exploding now? Evil is rising, Willie,” said my own such relation, a man born during World War II. “Houses didn’t explode when I was young.” He’s right that marijuana wasn’t previously associated with blowing up. Recently, explosions associated with marijuana production rocked Forest Grove and Gresham. One of the men caught in the Gresham inferno died from his injuries. Often, these incidents are reported as explosions at “grow operations.” In truth, the fiery booms have little to do with soil or fertilizer or plant matter or even high-wattage lighting. Rather, they’re caused by the haphazard preparation of butane hash oil. BHO is made by stripping plant matter of its cannabinoids and oils in a solvent bath. In most BHO preparation, the leftover butane is then boiled or vacuumed away, and proper ventilation mitigates the danger. Other times —particularly when morons are involved—a spark ignites the butane, and aspiring pot magnates wake up in the burn ward—or they wake up dead. The end product is a concentrated form of cannabis that resembles earwax, and is commonly sold as shatter, oil or wax. The commander of the Clark-Vancouver Regional Drug Task Force recently called BHO “the crack cocaine of marijuana,” which is a bit like referring to Jimmy Carter as “the Stalin of American presidents.” There are numerous advantages to concentrated grass, most of which have nothing to do with potency. For medical patients, concentrates offer easy portability, and contrary to the crack comparisons, dosage levels are still easily manageable despite considerably higher THC levels (usually in the 80-to-90-percent range, compared to the approximately 20 percent found in strong bud). Obviously, the higher potency raises the potential for marijuana abuse, but most wax is vaporized and inhaled in small amounts. So how much should you worry about the scourge of weed bombs? What I’d like to do is give you a warm mug of whole milk and sing you lullabies, only with the lyrics altered to assure the listener that BHO explosions are nothing to worry about. But in truth, marijuana is only going to become more available, and while weed’s availability to responsible consumers is a sea change worthy of frenzied applause, the flip side is it will also be available to the sort of people who aren’t familiar with the concept that working with large amounts of butane in enclosed areas is incredibly stupid. Hyperbolic police officers in out-of-state suburbs aside, the citizens most angry at BHO proliferation are pro-cannabis advocates. The potential for random home explosions is a setback for the movement. The solution remains the same: If cannabis were legal, hash-oil production could be regulated and supervised. In other words, the cure is in the poison.




Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


FOOD: The fun, odd American Local. MUSIC: Sharon Jones battles back from cancer. VISUAL ARTS: New art inspired by old industry. MOVIES: Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac.

Karaoke 9pm nightly Hydro Pong Saturday night

I get HAPPY 4-6pm Tues-Fri $3 menu

Fun Indu Night!


Dragon Lounge

Chinese-American Restaurant


2610 SE 82nd at Division 503-774-1135

Read our story:


Ho Ti

NO PLACE FOR THAT: Edgy content appears to have gotten Place Gallery kicked out of its space at Pioneer Place Mall. The gallery is one of three art spaces on the mall’s third floor, shared with Mark Woolley Gallery and the Peoples Art of Portland Gallery. According to Place director Gabe Flores, transgressive programming raised the ire of the mall’s management company, General Growth Properties. Flores says the company has terminated his lease as of March 31, due to management’s discomfort with programming such as John Dougherty’s exhibition, Shit Balloons, and Michael Reinsch’s The High Improbability of Death: A Celebration of Suicide. On Place’s website,, Flores has reproduced correspondence he says corroborates his contention that the mall’s general manager, Bob Buchanan, was concerned the gallery’s content could disturb mallgoers. At press time, mall management had not responded to WW’s requests for comment. THE COBAIN MUSEUM: A Portland woman has launched a campaign to turn Kurt Cobain’s childhood home into a museum. Jaime Dunkle, a promotions assistant at Music Millennium, is raising money to purchase the bungalow in Aberdeen, Wash., where the Nirvana frontman lived off and on through his teenage years. Dunkle visited Aberdeen last year and discovered the city had no official monument dedicated to the songwriter, who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound 20 years ago this April. (A much-maligned statue has since been put on display in a local history museum.) The idea for the museum came to Dunkle in September after reading that Cobain’s mother had put the house up for sale. “The city of Aberdeen is finally accepting Kurt Cobain’s influence,” Dunkle tells Scoop. “Knowing all that, we decided there should be something there.” Dunkle is currently raising the $500,000 asking price through the crowdfunding site GoFundMe, plus an additional $200,000 to build onsite parking and restore the house—which still contains band logos Cobain stenciled onto his bedroom wall—to precisely how it looked when Cobain was growing up.



Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

BEERVILLE: Burgerville is looking to serve beer and wine at its Portland International Airport location, and has filed for a tavern license. It wouldn’t be the first Burgerville to serve beer—the Vancouver-based chain started a beer-service pilot program in White Salmon, Wash., in 2009—but it would be the first in Oregon to do so. >> The new owners of Southeast Clinton Street velveteria Dots are planning to open a 62-seat pizzeria called Atlas Pizza at 3570 SE Division St. Alongside Roman Candle, Sunshine Tavern, Cibo and Sean Coyne’s impending Pizza Maria, it would be the fifth pizza spot to open in a six-block stretch of Division in three years. Atlas brings rock-’n’-roll credibility, however: Sean Croghan (Crackerbash, Jr. High) is listed as the manager. >> The old Portland Police Athletic Association building—formerly a private club where cops and their guests smoked cigarettes and drank (“Bar Spotlight,” WW, Feb. 20, 2013)—will be put to new use soon. According to a liquor-license application, the large event space at 618 SE Alder St. will be rechristened the “Ballroom Galactica.”



28 31 43 46



What to do this week in arts & culture

friday march 28 ultra-modern architecture, then and now.

IPA Summit [BEER] Still bitter after five years, Roscoe’s is serving up 16 rare and specialty IPAs, including Fort George’s Omegatex triple IPA, which sounds more like an evil Transformer than a beer, and will have a similar effect on your liver. Roscoe’s, 8105 SE Stark St., 255-0049. 2 pm-close.

boone s pee d

w i ll c orw i n

by Kathryn Peifer

emancipator ensemble [music] Going to an Emancipator concert is like watching an old movie reel of your life’s more poignant moments, in slow-motion, backward, on acid. This time around, the young Portland-based producer introduces a four-piece band, accompanied by extensive visuals sure to activate those introspective sensors. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $18 advance, $22 day of show. All ages.

aziz ansari [comedy] In his standup, the Parks and Recreation star doesn’t stop at oddball observations—he puts in the necessary brain sweat to transform them into nuggets of gut-busting gold. This show, titled Modern Romance, riffs on dating in the time of Twitter and Instagram. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7 pm. $46.50.

saturday march 29 Hallock-McMillan Building Address: 237 SW Naito Parkway Known as: Downtown’s first and oldest commercial brick building. Year built: 1857 Architect: Absalom B. Hallock, who was Portland’s “first architect,” in a time when architect licensing didn’t exist. Hallock built 18 buildings. He also served as the city’s first police commissioner and city surveyor, and was a member of the City Council and a volunteer firefighter. Building materials: Brick, cast iron and wood. Inhabitants: Absalom Hallock architecture office; then a candy factory; then a leather-goods company; then Howe scale manufacturer; then Masters, Mates & Pilots union; then Peter Corvallis Productions; now Russell Development Company Inc. Stats: Two stories, 4,525 square feet Amenities: Stairs, cast-iron columns (stripped away during the 1940s remodeling frenzy), efficient asbestos insulation (removed). No documented restrooms.

Skyline Residence Address: 8037 NW Prominence Court Known as: Contemporary modern architecture. Year built: 2011 Architect: Jeffrey Kovel graduated from Cornell University and is the principal architect at Skylab Architecture in Portland. He also worked on a Miami residence for musician Lenny Kravitz, as well as Portland’s Departure restaurant and Doug Fir Lounge. Building materials: Metal siding, concrete framing, a 406pound window (the largest piece of glass made in Portland), furniture made from the floor of a high-school gymnasium, moisture- and mold-protected bathroom tiles and maple flooring. Stats: Two stories, 4,300 square feet Owners: Two Nike executives who had the house built for them. Amenities: Skylight intersecting two units; 12-foot-long maple table; three-car garage with wooden carport ceiling; Möbius strip-style suspended kitchen with bronze mirroring; roof deck with unobstructed Forest Park, Willamette Valley and coastal-mountain views; graffiti walls scaling the custom welded, translucent stairwell; cantilever master bedroom.

GO: Modern Home Tours presents Portland Modern Home Tour on Saturday, March 29. 11 am-5 pm, $30 online in advance, $40 day of event. The Skyline Residence is featured on the tour.

midsummer [theater] In its decade of existence, Third Rail has never produced a musical. That’s about to change... sort of. Midsummer calls itself “a play with songs,” but, hey, baby steps. It centers on two Edinburgh 30-somethings—he’s a small-time crook and she’s a big-deal lawyer—who spend a rainy weekend together, to raucous results. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 235-1101. 7:30 pm. $20-$27.

sunDAY march 30 the war on drugs [music] Lost in the Dream, the latest outstanding release from the Philadelphia classic-rockists, finds singer Adam Granduciel’s voice migrating away from the timbre of his former bandmate, Kurt Vile, toward the realm of ’80s radiogod territory. Close your eyes and, amid the shimmers of chorusheavy guitars and smoky organs, you’ll hear Don Henley on Ambien. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

monday march 31 venereal girls [history] When Margaret Sanger tried to open a birth-control clinic in 1916, she was jailed. When Oregon women tested positive for venereal disease at the same time, they also landed themselves in lockup, even as men went free. Western Oregon University professor Kim Jensen recounts the history of Portland’s Cedar Detention Home. Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave., 249-3983. 7 pm. Free. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


Monday–Saturday 4–6pm & 8pm–close



Happy Hour

Walk-Up Window 11am - 2pm

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

We’re doing a Kickstarter to repair the roof & to put in a coffee, beer and wine bar!

YOU LIKE FRY BREAD WITH THAT: The Navajo dish, radish salad…and a sundae.

IT’S LOCAL SOMEWHERE thin-sliced watermelon radish—a particularly lovely-hued version of daikon—marinated in nuoc cham with scallions and black garlic ($6). It’s basically a Vietnamese-Chinese version of BY MATTHEW KOR FHAGE tsukemono, and I could eat it happily until my blood drained of water. Similar sentiments apply The American Local is neither American nor to the Brussels sprouts with pickled jalapeño, local—which is to say, it’s as American as it gets. blood orange and miso ($8), which operate Like Smallwares, which it mirrors on the Port- much like Smallwares’ fried kale or Tasty N Sons’ land city map, this clean-lined modern space is radicchio salad: It’s the menu’s staple and baseheavy on light cocktails and small plates bent line, satisfying both stomach and palate. But the skewers that make up one-fifth of on ingredient-forward fusion. The restaurant’s back wall features a diagram of the Oregon high- the menu are pleasant but hardly interesting. way system, but if the restaurant meant to show And the true failures were two of the most the birthplace of the flavors found on its menu, expensive dishes. In a Dungeness crab-fried it would show airports, boat docks and border quinoa ($14), the grain and bew ilderingly stations—the cutting boards from which ingre- forceful pickled carrot beat the crab’s more delicate f lavor into submisdients are scraped into this sion. An egg could only lubricountry’s grand melting pot. Order this: At least three dishes from cate the mistake. Meanwhile, But the A merican Local the vegetable menu, the fry bread, an $11 poutine with foie gras rema ins eminently acces- some barbecued oysters. d id not h i ng t o ju st i f y it s sible. It’s a high-low rave-up Best deal: Those Brussels sprouts ($8) are beautiful filler. empty carbs: It was a soggy of regional flavors, alongside I’ll pass: Foie gras fries, crab quinoa. mess without the umami high Asian spices that have become one associates with the dish. as familiar to the U.S. palate Empty carbs fared much better on the sunas chicken gravy. Crisped pork-belly skewers ($6) are braised in maple—essentially break- dae ($8), a ridiculously fun jumble of textures fast syrup on bacon—accented with a jolt of from housemade kit kat to nut to three flavors Sriracha. A soft-centered grit cake is topped of ice cream made with the old Caffe Pallino with salmon tartare and creme fraiche ($7) for machine, which the Local inherited along with a delicate rendition of a snack still recognizable the space. It was an as entertaining to eat as that first seaside sundae when you were 6. as tuna salad on a cracker. Which brings up the role it will serve for many Meanwhile, a grill toast ($6) pairs La Quercia prosciutto with a gobsmacking dose of pimento in the neighborhood: It is a spot where families cheese—the caviar of the South. The fast trip to can take children but still find their own tastes the bottom of the food pyramid is bracing and a bit attended to. The subtly balanced drink menu nostalgic, kind of like Splash Mountain. The menu offers its own argument for the restaurant, from also sports a straight-ahead version of the roadside an effervesced drink pairing Macchu Pisco with burger with “special sauce” ($9). Its claim lies in grapefruit and tarragon ($10) to a lovely $12 numexecution: The cheese is charred on the outside and ber with rye, fernet, ginger-flavored Domaine de tender in the middle, as is the burger, and it’s lovely. Canton and chocolate bitters. I witnessed a harBut whatever its American diner obsessions, ried couple apparently enjoying the chance to get the Local’s most exemplary dishes are more elegantly sauced next to distracted toddlers. Given that I am very much an American, a vegetable than meat. By far the richest item on the menu is a fry bread topped with mushrooms, drunk and a toddler, I found myself well within sheep’s milk cheese and a lovely herb salad with the target demographic. mint and dill ($7). It attained an almost meaty fulfillment that was far more interesting than if EAT: The American Local, 3003 SE Division St., 954-2687, 5-10 pm someone had thoughtlessly pelted it with bacon. Tuesday-Thursday, 5-11 pm Friday-Saturday, 5-9 Also wildly successful was a stack of pickled, pm Sunday.



IRON MAN STRONG ALE FESTIVAL Saturday, April 5, 2014 • 2:00 pm - 8:00 pm Skamania County Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall Stevenson, Washington BEER GEEK Session 2:00

all the beers, none of the distractions

Entertainment 3:00

String Beats, Funk Shui, Funkship Columbia


Gourmet smoked BBQ by F.O.E #1744

Strong beers by:

Walking Man, Thunder Island, Everybody’s, Pfriem, Backwoods, Loowit, Coalition, Ghost Runners, Firestone Walker, Green Flash and many more! $15/person at the door includes entry, souvenir glass and 3 drink tickets

21+ with valid state-issued ID only Made possible by Stevenson Business Association—Skamania Lodge 28

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26 Vintage Beer Dinner

Beer geek, meet food geek. There are two seatings of a five-course beer-pairing dinner at Le Pigeon, with fine food from chef Gabe Rucker paired with vintage and aged beers from Hair of the Dog. This event celebrates the release of Patrick Dawson’s guide to vintage brews, Vintage Beer: A Taster’s Guide to Brews That Improve Over Time. Le Pigeon, 738 E Burnside St., 546-8796. 5:30 and 8:15 pm. $125 per person.

FRIDAY, MARCH 28 Wine and Movie Snacks Pairing

Wine shops are getting a little weird these days, you know? Tacos and wine, pizza and wine…and now wine and Red Vines? Maybe they’ve been hanging out at Regal, but Portland Wine Bar figures M&Ms are a great accompaniment to the Pines merlot. Maybe they are. The Portland Wine Bar, 526 SW Yamhill St., 971-229-1040. 7 pm. $22. Reservation required.

IPA Summit

Still bitter after five years, Roscoe’s is serving up its annual IPA Summit all day Friday. The usual suspects will be pouring 16 different specialty IPAs, including Fort George Omegatex, which sounds more like an evil Transformer than a beer, and will have a similar effect on your liver. Roscoe’s, 8105 SE Stark St., 255-0049. 2 pm.

SATURDAY, MARCH 29 The Cocktail Demystified

Holocene is hosting a cheap-ass howto-impress-your-friends-at-home class sponsored by Portland’s Rolling River Spirits, a gin and vodka operation that advertises special help in bringing out “the bold flavors of vodka in classic cocktails.” The bold flavors of gin, presumably, need less help. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. Noon-5 pm. $7-$10.

Farmhouse & Wild Ale Festival

No fewer than 50 yeast-forward beers from 28 breweries will roll into North Portland’s most darling beer bar, Saraveza, this weekend—including an exclusive Ale Apothecary bottle release of “The Beer Formerly Known as La Tache,” a sour farmhouse peach ale fermented in a rum barrel. Entry includes 10 beer tickets and a tasting glass. Saraveza, 1004 N Killingsworth St., 206-4252, 11 am-10 pm Saturday, 11 am-9 pm Sunday, March 29-30. $25.



When Americans think of sake, they usually remember the Japanese rice spirit as an acidic thimbleful served hot with sushi or dropped into a beer—experiences that don’t beg to be repeated. Forest Grove’s SakeOne is working hard to counter that unfortunate first impression. The company, which began as an importer of premium Japanese sakes in 1992, has a plan to transform sake from a specialty drink into one that is served and sold alongside beer, wine and cider. The only American-operated sake brewer when it began in 1997, SakeOne’s latest move came in February, when it became the first kura, or sake brewery, to sell the spirit in kegs. It is distributing 19.5-liter kegs (that’s 26 bottles of wine, or one-sixth of a barrel of beer) to restaurants like Zilla Sake on Northeast Alberta Street. Located in the heart of pinot noir country 40 minutes from Portland, SakeOne’s facilities seem humbly industrial at first. Stacked 1-ton bags of Calrose rice lack the sweeping romance of a vineyard at sunset, but Sake-

One’s beautiful, accommodating tasting room and sunlit patio have their quiet charms. In fact, while sake is often referred to as rice wine, the process of making it more resembles beer brewing than it does winemaking. Rice is polished and washed, soaked and steamed before applying koji. Aspergillus oryzae, or koji-kin (translated, easily enough, “koji-mold”), helps break down the rice’s starches into sugars that are fermentable by yeast. Cultivating koji is an incredibly delicate process. It helps that between them, SakeOne’s brewers and their partners in Japan have 1,200 years of sake brewing expertise. The koji room is cedar-lined, warm and humid for the best growth of koji. After the sugar is loosed, the sweet and chewy koji rice is added to fermentation tanks with water, yeast and steamed rice. The batch ferments with yeast imported from Japan for a few weeks before it’s pressed, pasteurized, aged and packaged. SakeOne opted to fill its kegs with organic junmai ginjo from its Momokawa line. Each term in the name clarifies the sake’s purity: Nothing is used in its production except rice, water and koji. The result is a lush, easydrinking sake. Serving sake on draft requires pressure (75 percent nitrogen, 25 percent carbon dioxide), but the sake isn’t carbonated when served. “It’s the same type of system that wineries are using for premium wines on tap,” says SakeOne president Steve Vuylsteke. “The

combination of nitrogen and carbon dioxide can push the sake without the liquid becoming carbonated.” Moreover, the sake will be served chilled. “By offering one of our products in that format, we can show people that the whole sake category has evolved tremendously over the past 10 years or so,” Vuylsteke says. “Most of the sakes that are served hot are probably lower-quality sakes. When you buy a premium sake, chill it and serve it, the aroma and flavor would be more like wine.” The kegs are SakeOne’s next move to edge into the beverage market, alongside their Moonstone line of fruit-infused sparkling sakes. But, for my money, it’s best to skip the bubbles and go straight for the addictively earthy, umami flavors of traditional chilled sake—both in SakeOne’s Momokawa and g lines, and in its imported Japanese sakes. After all, if you’re going to drink sake, it might as well taste like sake, right? On our visit to the tasting room, we sipped not only SakeOne’s creations but also an herbal gokujo ginjo and a creamy Murai nigori genshu that did, as our server warned, knock us on our asses. “It’s a natural progression, no different than a wine drinker who might start off with a [white] zinfandel and then move toward a red wine,” says Vuylsteke. “It’s all part of the learning curve.” GO: SakeOne, 820 Elm St., Forest Grove, 357-7056,

Now pouring our own beer and selling burgers at all 3 locations. Pizza, full-bar, brewery and heated patio at our Fremont location.

Portland’s Best Wings!

Vegan Dishes Available 1708 E. Burnside 503.230.WING (9464)

Restaurant & Brewery NE 57th at Fremont 503-894-8973

4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.WING (9464)

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014



= WW Pick. Highly recommended.


Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26 Widespread Panic

[ROOTS-ROCK ROYALTY] With a performing career lasting over a quarter-century, jam-band mainstay Widespread Panic’s Southerninspired rock has risen to an elite status: The band holds the record for most sold-out performances at Red Rocks, at 42 shows. And since the Schnitz is basically synonymous with “elite,” this seems the only logical, pinkie-raising leap for the band. Dante’s—pretty much the exact opposite kind of venue—will host a Post Panic after-party featuring Brothers and Sister, a local Allman Brothers tribute band made up of Lewi Longmire and ex-Viva Voce member Anita Lee Elliott, among others. GRACE STAINBACK. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. $39.50-$59.50. The Post Panic Party is at Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 10 pm. $12. 21+. All ages.

Wild Child, Robert Ellis


[FOLK] With another epic Portland spring getting into swing, it’s only proper that a band like Austin’s Wild Child comes through town. Newest release The Runaround is an 11-track tribute to the end of winter, and the group’s gleeful spin on modern folk has enough chimes and cheery drums to match the warming breeze in the

air. Throw in the airy vocals of lead singer Kelsey Wilson, and you’ve got the perfect springtime jamboree. GEOFF NUDELMAN. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

The Orwells, Criminal Hygiene

[LO-FI GRUNGE] The Orwells exist in an emerging genre perched between garage rock and grunge. Danceable guitars and underproduced vocals unleash a hybrid rock attack that gets better with each listen. Last year’s Other Voices EP was the band’s most polished release to date, with cleaner production and more focused songwriting. As more bands crowd this new territory, the Orwells continue to sound a lick above the rest. GEOFF NUDELMAN. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8:30 pm. $12. All ages.

THURSDAY, MARCH 27 Small Black, Snow Mine

[DIMMED GLO-FI] Brooklyn’s Small Black was an also-ran in the great chillwave sweepstakes of 2010, overshadowed by the hype surrounding similarly minded lo-fi electrolytes such as Neon Indian, Toro y Moi and Ernest Greene’s Washed Out, despite serving as the latter’s backing band for a time. In the last three years,




CONT. on page 32


KEY MOMENTS IN THE DEVOLUTION OF KINGS OF LEON Only by the Night. For its first three albums, Kings of Leon were the state-fair version of the Strokes, deep-frying catchy garage-rock guitars in a batter of Southern colloquialisms and producing at least one truly great record, 2005’s Aha Shake Heartbreak. Then, for album No. 4, they all got fancy new haircuts, traded the Trans Am for a stretch Hummer and drove headlong into their bloated “U2 phase.” The “Radioactive” video. In which the band ends racism by frolicking through the sepia-toned South with a bunch of adorable black kids, showcasing a lack of selfawareness not seen since Russell Brand undulated through a war zone while performing a song called “African Child” in Get Him to the Greek—except that was a joke for a movie. That time they were attacked by bird crap. At a show in St. Louis, the band walked off the stage after being repeatedly shat on by pigeons. When word got out about shit raining down on a Kings of Leon gig, most people went, “Sounds about right.” That time the band fell apart onstage. Another instance of the band ending a show early due to a bodily function, this time in Dallas, when frontman Caleb Followill announced he was going backstage to vomit, then basically didn’t return for two years. NachoVision. The Followill clan ended its hiatus with last year’s Mechanical Bull, and like a failing sitcom trying to stay relevant, introduced a new relative, Cousin Nacho, to essentially act as the band’s social-media director, hosting kooky videos like a backstage Philly cheesesteak taste-off while wearing designer rocker duds that probably cost more than the restaurants he bought the sandwiches from. SEE IT: Kings of Leon play Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., on Thursday, March 27. 7:30 pm. $29.50-$59.50. All ages.

Talking to the media about her recent battle with pancreatic cancer, Sharon Jones never spares the gory details. Asked how she first knew something was wrong, the 57-year-old soul singer told Spin she began feeling itchy and jaundiced, and that her urine turned the color of brandy. She appeared on the cover of The Village Voice in November while still undergoing chemotherapy, with her long braids completely gone, and described the surgery to remove a tumor from her bile duct, which cost her a gallbladder and over a foot of small intestine. And so, when discussing the challenges of going back on the road, Jones, who’s now in remission, isn’t embarrassed to admit her struggles—even when they involve her digestive system. “Anything I ate was going straight through me,” she says from a hotel in Tucson a few hours before a performance with her band, the Dap Kings. A couple days earlier, in Denver, Jones caught a stomach bug—a problem compounded by the fact that, having lost a chunk of her pancreas, she must take enzyme pills with each meal. “Four hours before the show, I was really working on not running to the bathroom every 20 minutes,” she says. Considering the alternative, though, she’ll take it. Diagnosed last spring just after finishing Give the People What They Want, the Dap Kings’ fifth album of expertly-crafted, Motown-style soul, Jones—a fiery performer with the verve of Tina Turner—thought she’d never get the chance to sing those songs live. Given a second lease on life, she’s confronting recovery the same way she approached her illness: head-on, and with no shame. WW: It’s been a few months since you ended chemo. Have you slowed down at all? Sharon Jones: My first night when I came onstage, the guys were like, “We’ve got a chair there for you. If you need to go off, just let us know. We’ve got songs prepared for a break if you can’t go.” I went onstage and I was like, “Pop, pop, pop!” It’s like I was never

gone. I held back maybe 20 percent. But everyone who saw me thought I didn’t hold back anything. You filmed the video for “Stranger to My Happiness” in October, when you were still going through treatment. Was that difficult? It was at first. But with all the positive notes my fans wrote, with so many spiritual vibes and karma coming at me, I said, “Let me go on and do this.” This way, they can look and see, this is Sharon. You’re going to see her like this for a few months, maybe a year. You’re going to watch me change. You’re going to watch my hair grow. You’re going to watch my nails—the ones that aren’t going to fall off—come back to their natural color. All that is healing. It’s still showing, but it’s healing. I’m not trying to put on fingernail polish to hide these black nails I got. It is what it is. It’s me. How did music help you through this? I didn’t listen to music at all. Music is my joy, and I was in such pain. I listened to some gospel, maybe three times out of seven months, but I couldn’t deal with it. I went to church for my pastor’s anniversary in October, and that was the first time I did any kind of singing since May. But I took that time out and read a lot of books about food and how to eat right and take care of myself. I did a little painting just to keep my mind going. But most of the time I was in pain. I was out of it the first four months. How has facing your mortality changed the way you look at your own music? I have a goal to pursue. Since they left me here, and I’m able to do my music, my goal is to make the music industry realize there is soul music around today. If you look at the award shows, there’s no award for soul music. They say soul music left in the ’60s and ’70s. Soul music needs to be recognized by the music industry—even if they don’t want to give me an award. What can you do to make that happen? Keep doing what I’m doing. The more people demand of me, the more people are going to be wondering, “Why don’t they have Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings nominated for something?” It’s a natural thing coming. SEE IT: Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings play Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., with James Hunter, on Tuesday, April 1. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


Album Release Concerts Al’s Den—Crystal Hotel March 23-29 7pm—no cover with Guests:

(Bellingham, WA)

3/26: Corwin Bolt and Jeff Donovan 3/27: Twin Tele Duo (Ian Miller & Dan Lowinger) 3/28: Santi Elijah Holley Photo by Dinah Dinova

3/29: Louis Ledford



those other acts grew up and left their bedrooms, and for its longgestating second album, Limits of Desire, so too has Small Black. That doesn’t mean the band has improved, mind you. In fact, the glaze of haze smeared across the group’s introductory EP suited its cloudy dance pop much better than the crystal-clear ’80s production of recent material—new EP Real People included—which reveals the band is really just a more rhythmic XX, yet somehow more boring. MATTHEW SINGER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Rebirth Brass Band

[RIGHTEOUS NOLA FUNK] In the 30 years since “Tuba Phil” Frazier and his drummer brother Keith cofounded Rebirth Brass Band with their high-school marchingband brethren, the assorted players have become ambassadors of New Orleans culture. The collective’s mix of trad textures—second-line syncopations, call-and-response, gospel, jazz—and contemporary fl ourishes of funk, R&B and hip-hop have taken the group from the streets of the French Quarter to sold-out European tours to a 2012 Grammy for Best Regional Roots Music Album, a fi rst for a brass band. The group is also responsible for modern-day Crescent City classics “Do Whatcha Wanna” and “Feel Like Funkin’ It Up,” soul-packed grooves whose powerhouse horns are matched by vibrant rhythms. The nine-member ensemble still raises the roof every Tuesday at NOLA’s iconic Maple Leaf Bar. Here’s a chance to catch the band on the West Coast. AMANDA SCHURR. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $17-$55. 21+.

Psychomagic, Jesus Dude Mom, Couches, Pony Village, Sweet Tooth

[ALT-ROCK] San Francisco record label 20 Sided Records has an affi nity for “bands that love to party.” At fi rst glance, that seems like a pretty poor executive decision, signing musicians consistently pulling from the bottle and preparing for the next rave. But the artists on 20 Sided have a knack for letting the music do the partying for them. To wit: See this showcase, featuring a diverse selection of festive hymns, from slacker throwbacks Couches to the anthemic garage pop of Sweet Tooth. Whatever your jam, it’ll be a party. ASHLEY JOCZ. The Firkin Tavern, 1937 SE 11th Ave., 206-7552. 7 pm. Free. 21+.

acid. His talent for evoking nostalgia and that bottom-of-thestomach tickling feeling through ethereal, downtempo trip-hop makes every live concert a highly personal experience. This time around, the young Portland producer presents the Emancipator Ensemble, a four-piece live band accompanied by extensive visuals sure to activate those introspective sensors. GRACE STAINBACK. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $18. All ages.

Fanfarlo, Lilies on Mars

[BAROQUE POP] There’s a lot going on with Let’s Go Extinct, the third record from Fanfarlo. The English group has evolved from the dense of indie folk of its debut to a sound brimming with horns and synths and strings and lightly melodic arrangements that fl icker and sparkle with buoyant good cheer. Why is it so…just kind of there, then? Pitchfork’s Ian Cohen wrote about this same issue in a review of the band ’s last eff ort, 2012’s Rooms Filled with Light, an album “that superfi cially has nothing wrong with it” but determined that it’s the kind of record that “’feels good ’ only because it’s ‘not bad.’” That seems to be the burden this inoff ensive yet unexciting bunch of Brits is forced to carry, because it’s much the same on Let’s Go Extinct. And quite tellingly, Pitchfork didn’t even bother with this one. MATTHEW SINGER. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 3457829. 9:30 pm. $13. 21+.

Bun B, Kirko Bangz, TxE, Young Eastlin, DJ Biggz, Get It Squad

[SCREWSTON] Bun B and Pimp C were mired in their gangster stylings as Underground Kingz, a.k.a. UGK. After more than a decade together, each began issuing solo work in 2005, just before the Texas-bred duo paused and Pimp C got sent up. He did some time, got out, and the pair issued a bit more music prior to his 2007 death. Since then, Bun B has continued recording, pushing past the Southern rap classic “Pocket Full of Stones” and created a solo persona as well-defi ned as any other in the contemporary rap game. “All a Dream,” from 2010’s Trill OG, is something like him atoning for UGK’s past. But last year’s Trill OG: The Epilogue, features lines like, “Paper, pussy, I’d rather smoke/ Pass the lighter.” A throwback beat running behind the whole thing, though, makes these newer transgressions seem OK. DAVE CANTOR. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Ave., 233-7100. 7 pm. $12 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

The Strypes, the Cry!

[IRELAND’S NEWEST HITMAKERS] Fitting it’s an early show, then: The impossibly fresh-faced teens comprising the Strypes have collected nearly as many dubious press jibes as celebrity fans since fi rst mastering a hoary repertoire of bygone R&B classics helplessly reminiscent of a few other UK sensations. While their preternatural chops are unassailable, the keening sincerity and archival enthusiasm with which the pub-rock prodigies embrace time-swept idioms on recent debut Snapshot proves more than a little


Robt Sarazin Blake

FRIDAY, MARCH 28 Yob, Graves at Sea, Hot Victory, Death Grave

[DOOM METAL] Yob is generally known for being a major gamechanger in the world of early doom metal and today’s heavy-music scene in general, but locals know the band for so much more. The group, which hails from Eugene, features front-wailer Mike Scheidt, who might be the John Lennon of metal. At the very least, he’s a shaman of some sort, known turning what seems like an average show into a spiritual experience. The group recently reissued its legendary and aptly titled album Catharsis and plans to release a new record within the year as well. There’s a good chance we just might hear some new tunes at this show—as if you needed another reason to attend. CAT JONES. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8 pm. $12. 21+.

Emancipator Ensemble, Slow Magic, Nym

[ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE TRIPPY MIND] Going to an Emancipator concert is like watching an old movie reel of your life’s more poignant moments, in slow-motion, backward, on


Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

The War on Drugs, White Laces [STONED AMERICANA] The bifurcation of the careers of Kurt Vile and Adam Granduciel could’ve gone a lot worse. Vile left the War On Drugs in 2008, but pegging indie-rock’s benevolent stoner laureate as the Jeff Tweedy to Granduciel’s Jay Farrar is an unfair assessment. With no apparent animosity dividing two branches of the same classic-rock tree, we’ll concede that no one gives a shit and move on to Lost in the Dream, the War On Drugs’ latest outstanding release. Granduciel’s voice has migrated away from the timbre of his buddy Vile toward the realm of ’80s radio god territory: Close your eyes and, amid the shimmers of chorus-heavy guitars and smoky organs, you’ll hear Don Henley on Ambien. If played sequentially in a live scenario—doubtful, given the equal amounts of acclaim heaped upon 2011’s Slave Ambient—the album is an ecstatic experience tailor-made for both the dad-rocker and his burnout kids. Stash the bong and double-knot your dancing shoes for “Red Eyes,” the band’s finest effort yet in getting bakedout psych-dudes to cut loose on the dance floor. Get lost in the haze—or the beer line—any other time. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm Sunday, March 30. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

FRIDAY creepy: They seem all too aware everything’ll go down on their permanent record. JAY HORTON. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 6:30 pm. $11 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Cody Chesnutt, Liz Vice

[REDEMPTION SONGS] “I used to smoke crack back in the day.” That blunt admission is how Cody Chesnutt begins “Everybody’s Brother,” a song from 2012’s Landing on a Hundred, his fi rst full-length album in a decade. You’d be forgiven for thinking he’s talking about himself, especially after listening to the record. Much of it is autobiographical and plays like a man confessing to—and atoning for— past sins. But on that particular



tune, written from the perspective of an addict and swindler turned Sunday-school teacher, the Atlanta-born soul singer drew from the struggles of those around him to make a universal statement about redemption. The way he talks about his time away from the music industry, though, you’d think he spent the past 10 years in detox. Landing on a Hundred documents Chesnutt’s period of spiritual cleansing— celebrating the birth of his son and chastising his younger self for the misogyny that pocked his previous album, the stylistically manic Headphone Masterpiece — via a bright, classic soul sound.. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi

CONT. on page 34



ANNE SUNDAY, MARCH 30 When Portland four-piece Anne released its debut, Dream Punx, in 2011, few could resist throwing the album’s airy, dark pop in with My Bloody Valentine and the rest of the shoegaze pack. And while that genre is as descriptive as any you could apply to the broad array of styles displayed on Dream Punx, it completely failed to see the direction Anne would head. “We sold a decent amount of records,” says frontman David Lindell, “but my personality is like, ‘Wait till they hear me try to do this!’ Having a full band makes it hard.” Soon after 2012’s split EP with Whirr, Anne the band became Anne the man. Now a solo artist, Lindell is trying his hand at a danceable brand of synth-driven darkwave. He approaches electronic music, which he admits is largely new to him, with the levelheadedness of an engineer. “I’ve been working in production for friends’ bands for a long time,” he says. “I like stuff that’s executed as well as it can be. The electronic stuff was still pretty fresh to me when I was writing it, so I was trying to figure out how to mix a different kind of music.” The Jerusalem EP was the first to break new ground. Samples bubble through the title track’s bottom end, while synthetic drums echo through its catacombs. Lindell began experimenting with software synthesis. A favorite of his emulates the AlphaSyntauri, the first synth to take advantage the Apple II’s hardware. He’s still a mad scientist in a foreign laboratory, but the sound is far from amateurish. By the time Pulling Chain was released earlier this month on Run for Cover Records, Lindell had mastered his new digital tools. “Terms” is not only his strongest vocal effort to date but shows he’s allowed his melodic vocals to relax into their heavy, dark and driving shell. Stand back, remixers: “Terms” needs little enhancement to get dance floors moving. Lindell’s trajectory is as solid as it’s ever been—or so it seems. Asked about his recording plans for 2014, he continues to want to challenge himself. “I have whatever I need to make whatever I want,” he says. “It’s just up to me to do it.” MITCH LILLIE. A shape-shifting producer sheds the shoegaze haze— and his band.

SEE IT: Anne plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Interiors, Magic Fades and Quarry, on Sunday, March 30. 8 pm. $5. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014




Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.

Duality: Andreilien, Thriftworks, the Human Experience, Plantrae, MiHkal

[GLITCH-HOP] It’s hard to pass a torch when you’re tripping balls, but early aughts psy-trance groups Shpongle and 1200 Micrograms have managed to pull it off, handing the fl ame of psychedelic dance beats over to Bay Area glitch-hop producer Andreilien, formerly known as Heyoka, and associates like the jazzier Thriftworks or the trappier Mihkal. They’re all of the same vein, though: long hair, beats funky in a way James Brown wouldn’t recognize and a friend or two with, like, really heady 3-D modeling skills. MITCH LILLIE. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $25. 21+.

[NEW DIRECTION] Featuring three-fourths of the now-defunct Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives, Portland’s Modern Kin is less a trimmed-down reincarnation of an old act than an entirely new project, shedding frontman Grow’s wistful folk fervor for stomping, blues-hewn indie rock. But the band’s excellent self-titled debut is undeniably a byproduct of the same people, swelling with roughly buzzing guitar, choral organs and Grow’s rhythmic wailing at the forefront, making the band sound much bigger than the sum of its three parts. BRANDON WIDDER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 10 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.


The Dap-Kings will swing by April 1 to spin some of their favorite & funky records at the Burnside store! CATCH THEIR SHOW LATER WITH THE FABULOUS SHARON JONES AT THE CRYSTAL BALLROOM.



Out Among The Stars $11.95-cd/$17.95-lp

SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS Give The People What They Want

$12.95-cd/$15.95-lp Sale prices good thru 4.6.14


Divisionary $10.95-cd/$13.95-lp




Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

Wampire, the Ecstatics (early show), Guantanamo Baywatch, Tender Age (late show)

[FANGING OUT] Six years ago, the last band anyone would’ve pegged to make it big outside of Portland might have been Wampire. It’s not that the band, made up of longtime friends Rocky Tinder and Eric Phipps, didn’t possess the chops to take its music to a broader audience. They just didn’t seem to give a shit. Curiosity, Wampire’s 2013 debut for respected indie Polyvinyl Records, is the sound of a band fi nally getting serious with itself. Pulsing with New Wave grooves, surfy guitars, psychedelic organ and a wealth of murky hooks, the record recasts the group as a sort of shroomed-out Strokes. Released last May, the album made admirers of Spin and Rolling Stone, not to mention former MTV VJ John Norris. Don’t worry, though: Even though they’ve broken through nationally, Tinder and Phipps aren’t above writing songs about getting high in graveyards. Only now they know someone outside their basement may actually hear it. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 5:30 and 9 pm. Early show is $8 advance, $10 day of show. All ages. Late show is $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.


Black Lips, the Coathangers, Summer Cannibals

5:30 p.m.

Kathryn Claire


[FOLK] She’s a poised performer with a pearl-smooth alto, but Portland ’s Kathryn Claire misfi res on her latest release, covers collection Shimmering Blue. She’s taken on some true legends— Townes Van Zandt, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell, Richard Thompson, even John Denver—and smartly placed their work alongside work by Portland independents James Low and Bryan Free and Missoula’s Stellarondo. But in her eagerness to break these songs out of the folkie cliché, she sacrifi ces their meditative qualities for perversely uptempo arrangements— for example, backing the would-be early morning murmurs of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” with an insistent bodhran beat. Because Claire’s default musical persona is one of warmth and positivity, the briskly paced treatments read as glib, as though she’s not willing to fully reckon with these songs’ negative emotions. JEFF ROSENBERG. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 8 pm. $12. All ages.

Modern Kin, Ravenna Woods

April 1

Portland Metal Winter Olympics Final Showdown

[NO INFORMIN’] First off, let me thank Claudia Feliciano, the Californian rapper known as Snow Tha Product, for clarifying exactly which type of precipitation she was referring to, lest anyone confuse her for the Canadian dancehall artist of “Informer” fame. The real distinction she needs to make, though, is the diff erence between party-rap and rap that’s about partying. No doubt she has the fl ow to handle the big and quick party-rap sound, and she proved as much on Chuckie’s “Makin’ Papers” last year. Solo, however, she gets bogged down in that same rapido fl ow, and though her singing is stunning and not AutoTuned, it’s not quite enough to produce a true rap anthem—even if “Hola” comes pretty close. MITCH LILLIE. Peter’s Room, 8 NW 6th Ave., 219-9929. 8 pm. $15. All ages.


[BLUE-EYED PUNK] For a second there—namely, when the psychedelic slink of “Veni Vidi Vici” was featured in a Bud Light commercial—I worried that Atlanta’s notoriously nihilistic Black Lips would clean up all nice-like. With new album Underneath the Rainbow, the band proves the jagged edges of its cranky “fl ower punk” are still sharper than hell. But a growing affi nity for classic Stones leaves the group in an odd place, making eviscerating garage punk that’s too ADD to stay put in its own insular genre. PETE COTTELL. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 2337100. 8 pm. $16 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

Snow Tha Product, Caskey, Lost One, Devin Donovan

[UP-AND-COMING METAL] If you ever fi nd yourself asking why this town is so great, it’s because of things like the Portland Metal Winter Olympics, a three-monthlong stretch of cheap Thursday night metal shows in which the bands duke it out in a battle-ofthe-bands-type scenario—though really, it’s more of a social gathering and networking opportunity than an actual competition. This here is the fi nal showdown, meaning three bands that have made it to the coveted fi nal round will come head-to-head while judges critique songcraft, showmanship and “zazz.” What constitutes “zazz”? Best to come down and fi nd out for yourself. And may the zazziest band win! CAT JONES. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 236-9672. 9 pm. $3. 21+.

Carcass, Black Dahlia Murder, Gorguts, Bastard Feast

[DECIBEL TOUR] Once upon a time, four lads from Liverpool began writing their own songs and created a sound the world couldn’t ignore. In this version of the story, those boys were fans of gory horror movies and, after perusing a nurse’s dictionary, named themselves Carcass, gave songs titles like “Excoriating Abdominal Emanation” and basically pioneered the grindcore genre. The group received radio support from John Peel, released a series of cult albums on the Earache label and folded in 1995. During its absence, Carcass had an inestimable infl uence on the melodic death-metal scene, and now, the band is back out on the road. It’s quite an event to see the reunited Carcass in Portland, as Seattle is the closest it’s come since ripping La Luna way back in 1994. NATHAN CARSON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 6 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.



CHINO MORENO ON CROSSES Unlike his past projects, Chino Moreno’s Crosses (stylized as †††) is more rooted in electronica and New Wave than anything that might be described as “rock ’n’ roll”—a potentially rough pill to swallow for fans of his main band, art-metal mainstays Deftones. Regardless, without much marketing or hype, the group’s two introductory EPs gained enough momentum for the band to put out a self-titled fulllength of dark pop last fall, uniting Deftones die-hards and goths alike. WW spoke to Moreno about the project’s occult imagery. “I’ve been fascinated with religion ever since I was a kid, going to church with my grandma and being scared because, well, church is scary. There is a lot of imagery within religion that is dark. So I’ve always been fascinated with that. Anything that’s uncertain is always fascinating. A lot of people follow religions because they are unsure about things and they want to figure it out. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been fascinated by this stuff for years and years. If you look back at old Zeppelin stuff and Jimmy Page or Aleister Crowley, musicians have been fascinated with this stuff for years. I certainly don’t follow any sort of religious sect but I’m definitely fascinated with it. And that goes down to the certain little things where, if you believe in any one side of a story, then it’s always fun to hear the other side.” SEE IT: Crosses play Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd., with JMSN, on Tuesday, April 1. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.


MONDAY, MARCH 31 La Dispute, Pianos Become the Teeth, Mansions

[POST-HARDCORE] Michigan’s La Dispute are quite well-spoken. Maybe that seems a tad condescending, but given the band works in the idiom of post-hardcore, a genre with no shortage of false poets, frontman Jordan Dreyer’s detailed lyrics, delivered via a style of throaty recitation best described as shouted-word, stand out. Musically, new album Rooms of the House fi ts at the more explosive end of the emo spectrum, which means the audience is perhaps a bit limited, but artier punk fans will fi nd a lot to unpack—as far as the lyric sheet goes, at any rate. MATTHEW SINGER. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 7 pm. $13. All ages.

Coma Serfs, Manx

[CATCHY DISTORTION] Coma Serfs riff on surf-punk guitar accompanied by haunting and howling vocals, conjuring a drawling, noise-rock version of the Misfi ts. On the Portland band’s self-titled EP, guitars switch from catchy to dissonant in a matter of seconds. Closing track “Devil in Drag” ends the album in a psychedelic burst, tossed and garbled, evoking the feeling of fans stepping into the cold air after a night of moshing off aggression. LYLA ROWEN . Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

TUESDAY, APRIL 1 Wrath of Vesuvius, Fall City Fall

[METALCORE] The stigma attached to the “metalcore” label is that any band saddled with it isn’t technically skilled, creative or mature enough to make it in more legit realms of metal. San Jose metalcore outfi t Wrath of Vesuvius, sadly, fulfi lls most of these stereotypes. It is reasonably profi cient, yet highly methodical and musically bland. Its most recent album, 2013’s Revelations, does a halfway decent Black Dahlia Murder impression but lacks the song structure and overthe-top self-awareness that makes the former so much fun. In this case, at least, the stigma sticks. SAM CUSUMANO. Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th Ave., 223-0099. 7 pm. $10. All ages.


[CHORAL SUPERSTARS] The dozen-member San Francisco vocal ensemble still rules the classical choral world and often sells out its annual Portland dates. This year’s diverse program includes music about the feminine ideal, by composers ranging from medieval (the great Hildegard of Bingen) to Renaissance (Palestrina, Victoria) to Romantic (Mendelssohn, Brahms) to 20th century (Ravel, Samuel Barber) to contemporary (Eric Whitacre, Stacy Garrop), including several new pieces commissioned by the group, plus spirituals, pop covers, folk songs and more. BRETT CAMPBELL. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. 7:30 pm Friday, March 28. $30-$47.



José Antonio Rodríguez

[FLAMENCO GUITAR] One of Spain’s leading fl amenco guitarists, the Cordoban composer Jose Antonio Rodriguez has performed with Paco de Lucia, Astor Piazzolla and orchestras all over the world, composed music for major Spanish ballet companies and fi lm scores and is also a renowned teacher. Accompanied by his former student, California State music prof Corey Whitehead, he’ll perform traditional and original fl amenco music. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 8 pm Friday, March 28. $15. All ages.

Sheela Bringi

[CALIFORNIA CARNATIC] Hard to imagine a more diverse musical education than what the L.A. singer and harmonium-bansuri player Sheela Bringi received from her studies with Indian fl ute master G.S. Sachdev, avant-jazz legend Cecil Taylor and contemporary-classical vocal legend Meredith Monk. And her new Incantations album assimilates even more varied infl uences from her longtime partner, the West African percussionist and blues guitarist Clinton Patterson, plus hip-hop guests, Balkan brass and even reggae. But despite some appealing moments, especially in the more traditional Indian cuts, the album’s glossy production and her often bland fusion style makes the music less than the sum of its many otherwise appealing parts. It’ll probably sound better live. BRETT CAMPBELL. Yoga Shala, 3808 N Williams Ave., 963-9642. 7:30 pm Friday, March 28. $30.

Shantala Subramanyam, Akkarai Sornalatha, Melakkaveri Balaji

[CARNATIC FLUTE] Portland’s oldest Indian music presenter, Kalakendra, previously focused more on North Indian music but has recently brought in more music from the rich South Indian tradition. This concert is unusual in another way, too, as it features a front line of two female soloists: acclaimed Bangaloreborn bamboo fl utist and singer Shantala Subramanyam and young violinist and vocalist Akkarai Sornalatha. Accompanied by Melakkaveri Balaji on the double-headed mridangam, they’ll perform the seductively sinuous carnatic music of southern India. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 29. $10$25.

Seattle Symphony

[SEATTLE SUPER-SYMPHONICS] The Seattle Symphony recently hired one of the world’s hottest young conductors, Ludovic Morlot, who’s been drawing raves for his contemporary programming, making our own Oregon Symphony look downright stodgy by comparison. Unlike the OSO’s token fi ve-minute nods to today’s music, the SSO program includes 2013’s expansive 2013 Become Ocean, an acclaimed major work commissioned from the greatest living Northwest composer, Alaska’s John Luther Adams. Also featured are early 20th-century French-American radical composer Edgard Varese’s Deserts and an inspiration for Adams’ piece: Debussy’s earlier magnifi cent, impressionistic portrait, La Mer (The Sea). BRETT CAMPBELL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 3 pm Sunday, March 30. Sold out. All ages.

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

Untitled-2 1


Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

6/10/12 9:41 AM

MUSIC CALENDAR = ww Pick. highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

[MARCH 26-APRIL 1] Kelly’s Olympian

Beaterville cafe


Beulahland coffee & alehouse

426 SW Washington St. Fog Father and Appendixes, Warm Hands 2958 NE Glisan St. Denim Wedding, Blind Willies (9: 30 pm); Lewi Longmire and the Left Coast Roasters (6 pm)


For more listings, check out

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Luke McClain, Bosen & Suede

Moda center

#150, 1 N Center Court St. Kings of Leon

ringlers Pub

1332 W Burnside The Windshield Vipers

rock creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Three for Silver

Savoy Tavern

2500 SE Clinton St. Sus

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Redray Frazier, Department of Gold, Dean!

Shaker & Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Cherry City Band


Starday Tavern

Back Stage Bar

1033 NW 16th Ave. Cruel Hand, Alpha and Omega, Bent Life, Malfunction, Barrier, Funerals

The Know

Bunk Bar

Splash Bar hawaiian Grill

yOuNG MeN BLueS: The Strypes play holocene on Friday, March 28.

wed. March 26 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. The Heligoats, Robert Sarazin Blake

arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway Widespread Panic

ash Street Saloon


1001 SE Morrison St. Treefort Music Fest Wrap Party: Aan, Borfrndz, Bearcubbin’

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Songbird Showcase with Cynthia O’Brien

Jimmy Mak’s

6517 SE Foster Road JT Wise Band 2026 NE Alberta St. Agatha, Wizard Hits, Labryse

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. At The Head of The Woods, Withering of Light

Blue diamond

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Quartet, The Christopher Brown Quartet

Bunk Bar

715 NW 23rd Ave George Colligan Trio

8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. High Boltage


Trail’s end Saloon

cadigan’s corner Bar

112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

225 SW Ash St. Toy, Beardless Harry 2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project 1028 SE Water Ave. Milagres 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Band Swap with Pat Stilwell


Jo rotisserie & Bar

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. The Choices and Empire Rocket Machine

350 W Burnside St. Post Panic Party!, Brothers & Sister, The Psychedelic Express Lightshow & Circus Luminescence

Kenton club

doug Fir Lounge

4847 SE Division St. Whiskey Wednesday, with Jake Ray & the Cowdogs

830 E Burnside St. Wakey!Wakey!, Jillette Johnson

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party, Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam


1800 E Burnside St. Wednesday Night Jazz Series, With Amorous


2126 SW Halsey St. Ditch Town

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. Benjamin Scott Davis


801 Broadway SDMPDX & Friends Monthly

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Animals As Leaders, After The Burial, Navene-K, Chon, Sisyphean Conscience

2025 N Kilpatrick St. San Onofre Lizards, Max Pain And The Groovies, Verner Pantons

Landmark Saloon


2958 NE Glisan St. Simon Tucker Blues Band (9 pm); Root Jack (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Charlie & the Foxtrots, Kivett Bednar

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wild Child, Robert Ellis

reed college

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Chamber Ensemble of the United Nations International School

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Bring Me The Horizon, Of Mice and Men

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. The Orwells, Criminal Hygiene

Tillicum restaurant & Bar

1320 Main Street Big Monti


232 SW Ankeny St. Cambrian Explosion, Hats Off

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Peter Rainbeau, Willow House, Holy Mountain Drifters

wilf’s restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band

ThurS. March 27 al’s den

3701 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Eye Candy VJ 1028 SE Water Ave. Small Black and Snowmine

calapooia Brewing

140 Hill St. NE Wild Hog in The Woods

camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Jan Koenig Quartet

chapel Pub

430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin


1665 SE Bybee Ave. Laura Cunard

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street PFX: The Pink Floyd Experience


350 W Burnside St. Michelle Ari, Challenger ‘70, Rich West Blatt and the Once In A While Sky

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Rebirth Brass Band

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Tough Lovepyle, Alan Hager/Dave Fleschner Duo

904 NW Couch Jordan Harris & Christie Bradley

The Buffalo Gap

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Mick Schafer, Tree Top Tribe & Colin Trio

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Kurly Something, Toyboat Toyboat Toyboat

836 N Russell St. Chris Baron and Friends, Quattlebaum

wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Gungor

Fri. March 28 al’s den

SE 146th & Division St. Alfie, Ronnie

303 SW 12th Ave. The Heligoats, Robert Sarazin Blake

alberta rose Theatre


alberta rose Theatre

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Vinyette, The Tamed West


2126 SW Halsey St. The Howlin’ Brothers, Jack McMahon

analog cafe & Theater

hawthorne Theatre

andina restaurant

Jade Lounge

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Muevete Jueves 1314 NW Glisan Jason Okamoto

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Sailor Mouth

1507 SE 39th Ave. From The Eyes Of Cain 2342 SE Ankeny St. Pacific Oceans with Host Colin Fisher


112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

1314 NW Glisan Toshi Onizuka Trio

6000 NE Glisan St. Nicodemus Snow, Manimalhouse

Boon’s Treasury

888 Liberty St. NE Will West & The Friendly Strangers


320 SE 2nd Ave. Yob, Graves at Sea, Hot Victory, Death Grave

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Hustle and Drone, Pageantry, Old Age

calapooia Brewing 140 Hill St. NE John Shipe

camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Florian Hoefner Group

crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison St. A Peoples Choir

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Emancipator, Slow Magic


350 W Burnside St. Fanfarlo, Lilies On Mars

duke’s Bar & Grill

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Hamdogs, The 44’s SE 146th & Division St. Cowboy Swing, Lynn


1800 E Burnside St. Kings on Fire


2126 SW Halsey St. Moody Little Sister Duo

hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Bun B, Kirko Bangz

Vie de Boheme

duke’s Bar & Grill

1800 E Burnside St. Eat Off Your Banjo, Live Bluegrass Jam

Mock crest Tavern

independent Publishing resource center

white eagle Saloon

3000 NE Alberta St. Ukulele Extravaganza!

alberta Street Public house 1036 NE Alberta St. Soul Night

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Tonight We Launch, Plain Flavored, Ether Fiend, Twisted Whistle (Aretha Franklin Tribute)

andina restaurant 1314 NW Glisan Sonas

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Hoons, Bear Planet

alhambra Theatre

Biddy McGraw’s


1530 SE 7th Ave. Bart Hafeman, Tom Grant

Mississippi Pizza

1001 SE Morrison St. The Strypes 310 NE Evans St. Sky Bound Blue

1001 SE Division St. Catherine Feeny, Portland Zine Symposium Benefit

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Stephanie Schneiderman

Kaul auditorium

SE 28th Ave. & Botsford Dr. Chanticleer


112 SW 2nd Ave. Grafton Street

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Little Ass Boom Box Festival, Sweet Tooth, Adam Brock 4 and Family Night

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Psycho Magic, The Fasters, The Scooters


2958 NE Glisan St. Garcia Birthday Band (9:30 pm); Alice Stuart (6 pm)

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Moon by Night

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Kivett Bednar

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Zucchero

Mississippi Studios

hotel Oregon

232 SW Ankeny St. Ed and the Red Heads, Adam Brock

aladdin Theater

345 NW Burnside Rd. Haywire

118 NE 28th Ave. Big F@%*ing Deal, DJ’s Standing 8 and Mr. Jeigh

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Lloyd Jones

Midnight roundup

4811 SE Hawthorne Soul Ipsum, Montgomery Ward, Tough Fuzz


303 SW 12th Ave. The Heligoats, Robert Sarazin Blake 3000 NE Alberta St. Trace Bundy and Sungha Jung

2201 N Killingsworth St. Trace Wiren, Vanessa Rogers

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Cody Chesnutt, Liz VIce 3435 N Lombart St. Hollerbodies

Nel centro

1408 SW Sixth Ave. Mike Pardew

rock creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. The Gravy

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys, The Supraphonics, The Excellent Gentlemen

andina restaurant

artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Joe Seamons & Timberbound

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Tremor Fest, Black Powder County, 9 Road, Abandon Shore

Boon’s Treasury

888 Liberty St. NE Wil Kinky

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Wodern Kin and Ravenna Woods


club 21

St. honore

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

Starday Tavern

crystal Ballroom

1033 NW 16th Ave. Brain Scraper, Pleasure Cross, Order of the Gash, Honduran 3333 SE Division Street Heather Keizur 6517 SE Foster Road Devlan James Band

The annex

5242 N. Lombard St. Trick Sensei, Fire Nuns

The Buffalo Gap

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Hot Tea Cold

The eagle Portland 835 N Lombard Country Cub

The Foggy Notion 3416 N Lombard St. Gall, Non-Playing Characters, Minoton

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Wobblies

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Stevens Hess Band

The Muddy rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave. Yiddish Republik

The Press club

2621 SE Clinton St. A Mile to Go

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. DOA

Tigardville Station

12370 SW Main Street Lisa Mann

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Stone Tyler


4144 SE 60th Ave. Lew Jones

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Libertine Belles

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Floating Pointe, Blue Flags Black Grass, Rob Johnston, Reverb Brothers

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. London Grammar, Vancouver Sleep Clinic

SaT. March 29 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. The Heligoats, Robert Sarazin Blake

2035 NE Glisan St. Tacos!(Sea.), The People Electric

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Party Code 1332 W Burnside Street Big Head Todd And The Monsters, Hazel Miller and Ronnie Baker Brooks


350 W Burnside St. Hell’s Belles

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Jerry Joseph and The Jackmormons, I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch in the House

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Soul Vaccination


1800 E Burnside St. The Brian Odell Band


2126 SW Halsey St. Kelly Brightwell

First Baptist church

909 SW 11th Ave. Shantala Subramanyam, Akkari Sornalatha, Melakkaveri Balaji

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. The Black Lips, The Coathangers, Summer Cannibals

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Big City Wind Down, The Stubborn Lovers, The Mermaid Problem

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Farnell Newton


112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Gutters, Sad Horse, Pendejo


2958 NE Glisan St. Left Coast Country (9:30 pm); The Yellers (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Level 2 Music, Yogoman Burning Band, Sarah Gwen Band

CONT. on page 38 Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


MUSIC CALENDAR take Warning Presents...


$10.00 advance tix from ticketfly. $12.00 at the door.

FRIDAY, MARCH 28 9pm. 21 & over

Soundcontrol PDX Presents



9pm (doors open at 8pm). All Ages

The church of rock and roll Presents....



(doors open at 7pm). All Ages


Pre sale tix: event/504257 $8.00 advance tix from ticketfly. $10.00 at the door. Falafel House: 3 to Late–Night All Ages Shows: Every Sunday 8–11pm Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy: Saturday @ 3pm


1033 NW 16TH AVE. (971) 229-1455 OPEN: 3–2:30AM EVERY DAY

HAPPY HOUR: MON–FRI NOON–7PM PoP-A-Shot • PinbAll • Skee-bAll Air hockey • Free Wi-Fi

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wampire, Guantanamo Baywatch, Tender Age, The Ecstatics



7:30pm (doors open at 7pm). All Ages


Mock Crest Tavern

3435 N Lombart St. Lee Black Blues Band

Peter’s Room

8 NW 6th Ave Snow Tha Product, Caskey

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way The Lacs, Moonshine Bandits

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Rich Layton and the Troublemakers

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. The Fanatics, Frankie J Grande, Lovey James, KeenanCahill, Josh Metzler

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Pretend Sweethearts, The Moonshine, Marshall McLean Band , Davy Jay Sparrow & His Western Songbirds


1033 NW 16th Ave. Humors, School of Rock, Mursa, Die Like Gentlemen

St. Honore

3333 SE Division Street Heather Keizur

The Annex

5242 N. Lombard St. Adam Marsland

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Damn Librarians, Noble Firs, DJ Arya, Tiananmen Bear

The Buffalo Gap

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Cybelle Clements & Matt Johnson

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Burthryte, Sun Club, Lures

The Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Coma Serfs, Cambrian Explosion, Surfs Drugs

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. McTuff, Funky 2 Death, Bucket O’ Honey

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Sportin’ Lifers

BARRELING FORWARD: If it’s on the wall at Double Barrel (2002 SE Division St., 234-1420), it’s either a gun or something it shot. The walls pack more heat than a Texas wedding party. Even the clocks and mirrors boast taxidermy—or at least the bronze visage of an eagle—hung against the old building’s brick. An old Oregonian mailbox hanging by the door looks like it’s been shot itself, whether as commentary we don’t rightly know. But whatever the Western branding, the new Division Street bar by the owners of Club 21 and Gold Dust Meridian is a place of Dirty Harry pinball and fireside comforts, with a warm-toned horseshoe bar made of wood recycled from the building’s roster of now-cut sports bars: KJ’s, Wynners, Seven Corners, and Dilly’s. Above the bar is a rough awning of mismatched wood, harvested from the defunct deck of the bar contractor’s cousin. In mood, it’s a rock-’n’-roll party held at dad’s private bar, packed on a Friday night with musicians in their 30s and women in their 20s. Double Barrel’s insistence on carrying not only Pabst and Oly, but also Hamm’s, Coors, Rainier, High Life and Tecate seems like an almost ham-fisted statement, though there are also eight taps spouting local standards like Migration and Boneyard. The cocktail menu is a statement as well: It’s awful. Three different $8 concoctions of Root liqueur or marionberry habanero were passed around the table and pronounced undrinkable. Meanwhile, the bartender will make you a terrific Bulleit bourbon with lemon and freshly shaved ginger for $2 less. But a month in, Double Barrel is classic in form, dim of light and somehow already aged into its space. It feels like yours the first damn time you walk in. Order a bourbon and a shitty back, and drink to dear old dad. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Kathryn Claire

Torta-Land ia

4144 SE 60th Ave. Corey R-J

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Resolectrics, The Hill Dogs, The Darlin’ Brothers , The Student Loan

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. Portland Metal Winter Olympics Finals

Wilf’s Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Devin Phillips Quartet

SUN. MARCH 30 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. James Dean Kindle

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Jerry Douglas

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Solas

Dig a Pony

8 NW 6th Ave. Carcass, The Black Dahlia Murder, Gorguts, Bastard Feast

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Survival Skills

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Ume, LKN, Hurry Up


1001 SE Morrison St. Anne, Interiors, Magic Fades, DJ Quarry


112 SW 2nd Ave. Sammi

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Tree Top Tribe


2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Samsel and the Skirt

Music Millennium

3158 E. Burnside St. Black Dahlia Murder, Special Autograph Session , Sun Club

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

New Thought Center for Spiritual Living

1037 SW Broadway Seattle Symphony

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. The Adarna

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes Jam Session

Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan Danny Romero


Blue Diamond

1040 C. Ave. Ovation! & UN International School Choir Performance

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Hanz Araki

600 E. Burnside St. Tiburones

Roseland Theater

Secret Society Ballroom 116 NE Russell St. Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons


Andina Restaurant 1314 NW Glisan Pete Krebs

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Pika, Red Forman and Friends


320 SE 2nd Ave. La Dispute and Pianos Become the Teeth, Mansions

Crystal Ballroom

1033 NW 16th Ave. Grand Style Orchestra

1332 W Burnside Street Coma Serfs, Manx

Star Theater


13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive: Alan Park and the Nineteenth Floor


232 SW Ankeny St Sioux Falls and Sweeping Exits, Hollow Sidewalks

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Sticky Mulligan, Pat Kearns

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The War On Drugs, White Laces

MON. MARCH 31 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. James Dean Kindle

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Miranda Sings

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Jezabels, Gold & Youth

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Keeter / Allison


2126 SW Halsey St. Skip VonKuske’s Groovy Wallpaper

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Balmer


112 SW 2nd Ave. Sammi

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Memory Boys, Blind Lovejoy, The Yellow Dress

CONT. on page 40

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


Alberta Rose Theatre

(503) 764-4131 • 3000 NE Alberta

Thursday, March 27th

Saturday, March 29th

acoustic guitar wizards

TRACE BUNDY + SUNGHA JUNG Tuesday, April 1st






Lincoln Performance Hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Trio Con Brio Copenhagen

Music Millennium

3158 E. Burnside St. Fallen Riviera

Reed College

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Wendy Heller

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. The Show Ponies, Hannah Glavor and the Family Band, Joseph

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Elegy

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Panterface






WED. MARCH 26 Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. DJ Seleckta YT, Riddim Up Wednesday

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Robb, Trick

Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade

511 NW Couch St. TRONix, Bryan Zentz

Moloko Plus








Sunday, April 20th


HUUN HUUR TU Thurssday, April 24th



3000 NE Alberta St. Tommy Castro and the Painkillers

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Fallen Rivera

Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Hip Deep

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, James Hunter

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Ashleigh Flynn, Swan Sovereign


2126 SW Halsey St. Hanz Araki

Sunday, April 13th




Wednesday, April 23rd

TIGRAN HAMASYAN JAZZ TRIO Friday, April 25th - 7pm

TRACY GRAMMER Tuesday, April 29th


for info and tickets visit Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

Lincoln Performance Hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Trio Con Brio Copenhagen

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombart St. Johnnie Ward & the Eagle Ridin’ Papas


1033 NW 16th Ave. Wrath of Vesuvius

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. The Pagan Jug Band,

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Dunnoy, Ken South Rock, Child Children

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Moon Debris, Trick Sensei, Mufassa

Hawthorne Theatre

Star Theater




Alberta Rose Theatre

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet

1332 W Burnside Come As You Are 90s Dance Flashback



303 SW 12th Ave. James Dean Kindle

Jimmy Mak’s

Lola’s Room

Harlem Portland


TUES. APRIL 1 Al’s Den



Saturday, April 12th


1507 SE 39th Ave. Crosses, JMSN

Tuesday, April 8th

with guests



220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Jack 3967 N Mississippi Ave. King Tim 33 1/3

THURS. MARCH 27 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Bubble Up

B.C.’s Bar & Grill 2433 SE Powell Tetsuo


19 SW 2nd Ave. Study Hall: DJ Suga Shane

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven, With DJ George

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Tourmaline, DJ Valen


1001 SE Morrison St. Laid Out: Gossip Cat, Pocket Rock-It, Misti Miller, Mr. Charming

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Morganixx and Friends

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Tobias

FRI. MARCH 28 CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Jakob Jay, Sweat Fridays

Dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Icarus, Cooky Parker


1800 E Burnside St. Club Crooks: DJ Izm

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Temporary Lesbian Bar

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Hans Fricking Lindauer Rhythm and Soul Review

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Monkeytek & Friends


315 SE 3rd Ave. The Cockpit: Chelsea Starr, Pavone, Dan Craig, Monika Mhz

The GoodFoot 2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew, DJ Aquaman

The Jack London Bar 529 SW 4th Ave. Decadent 80s

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Dance Party with DJ Horrid

The Rose

111 SW Ash St. Trifecta


232 SW Ankeny St. Deep Burn

SAT. MARCH 29 Beulahland Coffee & Alehouse 118 NE 28th Ave. DJ Roane


320 SE 2nd Ave. ||DUALITY||: Andreilien, Thriftworks, The Human Experience, Plantrae, MiHkal

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Revolution, DJ Robb

Dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Battles


1800 E Burnside St. Impact Sound


1001 SE Morrison St. Club Crooks, DJ Izm, Mr. Marcus

13 NW 6th Ave. ANDAZ: DJs Anjali & The Incredible Kid

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Carrion and Straylight

SUN. MARCH 30 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Sensory, Bittersweet Productions and PANZEN

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. The Superstar Divas, DJ Robb

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Jack

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Miss Spooky

MON. MARCH 31 CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday, With DJ Robb

Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade

511 NW Couch St. Metal Mondays, with Metal Kyle and DJ Shreddy Krueger

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

TUES. APRIL 1 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. S.Y.N.T. Weekly Dubstep Night


19 SW 2nd Ave. Soundstation Tuesdays, DJ Instigatah and Snackmaster DJ

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. TNA Tuesdays, DJ Jakob Jay

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Hideous Racket and DJ Flight Rack

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. DJ Easy Finger

march 26–april 1

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON ( Dance: AARON SPENCER ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:


Post5 Theatre is a scrappy, spunky troupe, so it’s no surprise that artistic director Ty Boice bills this as a “fast, furious and fun” Hamlet. But in so much as he’s trimmed it down to two and a half hours—the play can run well over three hours—there’s reason to believe him. Boice will play the Danish prince in this abridged version, which also incorporates video projections, dance and song. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through May 4. $15; Thursdays “pay what you will.”

Humble Boy

Another Tuesday morning reading from Portland Civic Theatre Guild, this time a comedy by Charlotte Jones that reimagines Hamlet in the English countryside, recasting the Danish prince as a socially maladjusted astrophysicist. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 10 am Tuesday, April 1. $8.


In the decade it’s been around, Third Rail has never produced a musical. That’s about to change...sort of. David Greig’s Midsummer calls itself “a play with songs,” but hey, baby steps. It’s essentially a rom-com about two Edinburgh 30-somethings—he’s a small-time crook and she’s a big-deal lawyer—who spend a rainy weekend together to raucous and occasionally wistful results. It stars the stellar Isaac Lamb and Cristi Miles. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 235-1101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through April 19. $20-$27.

Pulp Gulp: Funny Stuff

The Pulp Stage returns with more bare-bones readings of six short plays about clowns, martian monkeys, Santa, Satan and more. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 27. $5-$10.

Sister Act

The Broadway tour of the musical about a diva-turned-nun—based on the Whoopi Goldberg movie—boogies its way through Portland. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800745-3000. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday; 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday; 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, April 1-6. $25-$75.

NEW REVIEWS A Pigeon and a Boy

Nobody really likes pigeons—they poo on your car windows and peck annoyingly for crumbs at the park. But the homing pigeons in Jewish Theatre Collaborative’s adaption of Israeli author Meir Shalev’s novel A Pigeon and a Boy are sentimental reminders of the past, of loved ones and, most importantly, of home. The characters speak about themselves in the third person, and the play’s structure is unusual as well. It’s performed more like an extended poem, with the 10-member cast oscillating between Tel Aviv in 1948 and Jerusalem in 2002. Yair Mendelsohn (Darius Pierce) is a tour guide in Jerusalem, unhappily married and a bit out of place in the family—he doesn’t resemble his father or brother, and no place has ever truly felt like home. Yair’s mother (Lorraine Bahr) suggests he find a new life for himself, dispatching him like a homing pigeon. The other story, set during Israel’s War of Independence a half-century earlier, centers on a young pigeon handler (Sam Dinkowitz) and the girl (Crystal Ann Muñoz) he loves. It’s one of the pigeons this boy dispatches that will unite the two narratives. Instead of an

elaborate set or props, the actors tell the story with elegant and expressive movements—Muñoz’s performance is so convincing that when she envisions a pigeon in her curled palms and launches it into the air, you’re sure to see wings flapping. Sasha Reich (who also directs) and Doren Elias put their adaptation through 11 drafts, and the work has paid off. The actors, like the pigeons in their characters’ lives, could not feel more at home. KATHRYN PEIFER. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 512-0582. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through April 12. $25.

Postcard From Morocco

Dominick Argento’s English-language opera Postcard From Morocco begins and ends with seven strangers stranded in a train station, each wielding a suitcase, a special item that defines their character and a sense of suspicion that borders on paranoia. They’re so guarded that even when they gang up to try to pry a kernel of information from one of the bunch— the real name of the Lady With a Hat Box, or whether the Man with a Cornet Case has a horn at all—we never know if the answer is trustworthy. This preserves an aura of mystery in the surrealist opera, a one-act that’s unusual for its lack of plot and the eclectic musical score that includes ragtime, quotations from Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” and pieces of Wagner. The original 1971 version was set in 1914, but in this Portland Opera production, director Kevin Newbury postmarks his Postcard closer to the present day—one character is dressed as a dreadlocked backpacker. None of the performers have much of an opportunity to stand out from the pack, although there aren’t any weak links. (Lindsay Russell is probably the loudest.) At 90 minutes, Postcard works best as a collection of moments rather than as a linear or cohesive whole, and the libretto by John Donahue is striking for its postBurroughs/pre-Lynch cut-up style. When the characters begin to fantasize about building a ship together, they conjure some fantastic images— of ships made of clouds or of ice and glass—from only lyrics, imagination and rows of chairs on wheels. As some characters demand to be captain, others are content to hang from literal puppet strings. NATHAN CARSON. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 27; 7:30 pm Saturday, March 29. $53-$79.

ALSO PLAYING Crimes of the Heart

What happens when three sisters with infamous pasts reunite in their small Mississippi hometown—all because the youngest sister has just shot her husband in the stomach? Well, surprisingly and unfortunately, nothing very debauched. Indeed, the raciest scene in Beth Henley’s 1980 Pulitzerwinning play, directed by Diane Englert at Lakewood, finds a nosy neighbor changing her pantyhose on stage. Even so, the three Magrath sisters could be called the sisterhood of the traveling madness—their bouts of depression take violent turns to hysteria and attempted suicide. As the three sisters, Shandi Muff, Tricia Castañeda-Gonzales and Eleanor Johnson believably portray their characters’ emotional instability while remaining likeable. KATHRYN PEIFER. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays; 7 pm Sundays, March 9, 16 and 23; 2 pm Sundays, March 16 and 30 and April 6 and 13. $30-$32.

The Curious Chronicles of Daniel Candlewick

As artistic director of Castiron Carousel Marionette Troupe, Geahk

Burchill makes gorgeously macabre wooden puppets that he carefully carves, paints and costumes. This is puppet theater, but it’s far darker and more surreal than anything you’ll find for kids. In this 40-minute play, a 10-year-old boy becomes an apprentice for a deranged doctor. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Sundays through March 30. $13.50.



Let a Hundred Flowers Bloom

From the beginning, Let a Hundred Flowers Bloom is a romance, a politically driven tale and a riveting comedy. Take the play’s prologue: The narrator, a vivacious author of gay Marxist porn named Puppy, tells a politico-erotic story titled Mein Cock. The action is set in the mid-’90s, as AIDS drugs are improving, and playwright David Zellnik introduces us to a group of gay men and examines how they deal with uncertainty and instability. This Defunkt Theatre production is far from brooding, with plenty of cheesy porno music and a campy sex scene—or two, if you count a handy in the back of a Payless shoe store— thrown in for good measure. LAUREN TERRY. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through March 29. “Pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays, $15-$25 sliding scale Fridays and Saturdays.

The Light in the Piazza

Set in Italy in the early 1950s, Craig Lucas and Adam Guettel’s contemporary musical The Light in the Piazza has all the typical elements of a girlgone-abroad chick flick. There’s a happenstance meeting between a bright-eyed American tourist and an attractive Florentine boy who doesn’t speak English, their relatives’ amusing meddling and the will-they-or-won’tthey drama that ensues. But the girl here is Clara, a 26-year-old who still tends to act like a child. And what further distinguishes this lovely show, presented at Portland Playhouse, is the separate love story that unfolds—the one focused on mother and daughter, as the protective parent learns to let go. KAITIE TODD. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $32-$36.

Menopause the Musical

The long-running musical about hot flashes and night sweats returns to Portland. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7 pm TuesdaysFridays, 2 and 7 pm Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through April 13. $49-$60.

The Motherfucker With the Hat

As Stephen Adly Guirgis’ comedy opens, main character Jackie (John San Nicolas), a recovering drug addict on parole, enters his bare-bones apartment with near-boundless energy. He’s landed a job and feels buoyed by the promise of a fresh start for himself and his childhood sweetheart, Veronica (Diana DeLaCruz). But that fades when he notices an unfamiliar man’s hat on the coffee table. It’s like “motherfucking Zorro leaving his Z” all over the place, and Jackie slumps into an emasculated wreck. Jackie bumbles through entertaining tantrums on his search for the titular motherfucker, relying on his AA sponsor, Ralph (Victor Mack), and cousin Julio (Gilberto Martin del Campo, infectiously hilarious). As the plot develops and real drama unfolds, though, the script’s perky sarcasm becomes tedious. Yet this Artists Rep production, directed by Kevin Jones, still manages to tell a surprisingly lighthearted and often very funny story of drug abuse. LAUREN TERRY. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $25-$55.

Next Fall

As Next Fall begins, the cast stands on the edge of the dimly lit stage. Suddenly, the discordant sounds of a car crash ring out, and James Sharinghousen reels backward, arms flailing. We learn that Sharinghousen’s

totally tubular: yulia arakelyan and husband erik Ferguson.

YOU TOO ARE MADE OF STARS (WOBBLY DANCE) Yulia Arakelyan remembers the first day of an improv dance class led by an experimental choreographer from San Francisco. “The elevator was broken that day,” she says. “I was carried up three flights of stairs, paid for this class, and then the first thing he said was, ‘You know, I don’t think this class is appropriate for you.’ I was just like, bloody hell.” As a disabled dancer, the 31-year-old Arakelyan can’t do everything other dancers do, but she doesn’t let them set the rules. “I’m going to decide what’s appropriate for me or not,” she says. In 2007, she became the first disabled graduate of the University of Washington’s dance program. The year before, she and husband Erik Ferguson, also a wheelchair user, founded Portland dance company Wobbly. She and Ferguson perform this weekend, both in chairs and out, as a part of Arakelyan’s New Expressive Works residency at Studio 2. “Associating disability and dance creates a seeming contradiction,” says the 38-year-old Ferguson, who was born disabled. “By not arguing with the contradiction, we force people to think differently about what disability is.” Arakelyan was also born disabled. Her family, Armenian refugees from Azerbaijan, moved to Seattle when she was 10. At 19, she first saw a performance by Seattle’s Light Motion Dance Company, a duo with one able-bodied dancer and one, Charlene Curtiss, in a wheelchair. The classic fluidity of Curtiss’ movement and the athleticism of her wheelies and spins awoke something in Arakelyan. “It opened up my world,” she says. “I discovered my body. I realized before that I kind of ignored it, like it was not my own. All these medical things were done to me—surgeries and therapy, and I hated all of it. I remember the very first dance class, I was like, ‘Wow.’ I have these cells and muscles, and they all just started moving. Life made sense.” In her ballet classes, while other students extended their legs in tendus, Arakelyan stuck out her arm. Instead of pirouettes, she’d roll her head. Constant adaptation made her a good improviser. Same goes for Ferguson, a farm boy from rural Michigan who dove into contact improvisation in college. The two met in 2005, when Ferguson asked Arakelyan to perform with him. Arakelyan, painted white, threw scoured lemons around the stage as a woman on crutches squashed them. Ferguson, wearing a skirt weighed down with 30 pounds of lemons, was held up on his feet by two able-bodied women. This weekend, in a piece called You Too Are Made of Stars, the two cover themselves in white paint and medical tubing. It’s a common theme for them, as Arakelyan’s ventilator tube is part of her daily life. They focus on presence and intention with their gazes, leaving their movement slow and simple. At one point, the two hold a long medical tube between their mouths. The moment begins romantically, almost sexually, but then turns dark: Arakelyan wraps the tube around Ferguson’s neck and leaves him, dragging him a little on the floor. They had several arguments in creating the piece—it’s only the second duet the two have created and performed. Yulia likes to go over details with a level of repetition that bothers Ferguson, who thinks in big ideas. In the end, though, they say that tension adds a palpable energy to the piece. “It’s very much about all that happens between the gaze of two people,” Ferguson says, “all the ways you express anger, passion, love and truth in very few movements.” AARON SPENCER. Dancing by their own rules to rethink disability.

see it: Wobbly Dance is at Studio 2, 810 SE Belmont St., 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, March 28-30. $12.

CONT. on page 42 Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


march 26–april 1

character, the starry-eyed Luke, has been hit by a taxi and plunged into a coma. It’s subject matter familiar to Triangle Productions artistic director Don Horn, whose son spent 46 days in a coma after a near-fatal accident eight years ago. Harnessing that personal connection, Horn achieves gripping emotional resonance rather than maudlin excess. It helps that Geoffrey Nauffts’ 2009 play alternates between scenes in the hospital waiting room, where Luke’s family and his partner, Adam (Jason Glick), have gathered, and flashbacks to memories before the accident. That split structure keeps the characters surprising and frequently funny, as when it’s revealed that Luke’s proper Southern mother (played by Helen Raptis with a delightful mix of Reba McEntire and Paula Deen) once “got busted selling weed with a onearmed beautician from Shreveport.” Ultimately, Nauffts asks big questions with tongue-in-cheek tact. How can two very different people—Luke is a devout Christian and Adam an atheist—make things work? Can their complicated love endure stigma? And what happens when an atheist sees his partner pray for repentance after great sex? LAUREN TERRY. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through April 6. $15-$35.


[NEW REVIEW] When people claim that sketch comedy has become the new indie rock, this is what they’re talking about, for better or worse. Before The Big Combo even begins, cast members glance around the audience while finishing sandwiches with a goofily diffident swagger. Written by Second City vet Caitlin Kunkel and local funnyman-about-town Jason Rouse (also producer and director, respectively), the revue speeds through familiar terrain with a professional sheen that never takes full advantage of an enormously charismatic retinue packed with local talents. Scott Engdahl and Brooke Totman, in particular, shine incandescent just standing around the minimally decorated stage, but posing the pair as rotisserie chickens desperate for customer attention seems more of an actors’ showcase than anyone’s idea of rich comic potential. A smattering of topical premises—office co-workers vying for alpha status, the toddler over-coached for a preschool entrance interview—recall the dead patches of Saturday Night Live’s final half-hour, and veer awkwardly brittle or haunting. Mining the humor of social alienation allows unpleasant truths to reveal themselves, of course, and lingering as they curdle is hardly a sin. There’s bravery in the troupe’s approach and a dignity in the production’s reluctance to pander, but there’s also not much you’d call funny. JAY HORTON. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 10:15 pm Fridays-Saturdays through March 29. $15-$20.

Buffy! A Parody Play

If the smell of county-fair corn dogs isn’t a dead giveaway, then consider this fair warning: Buffy! A Parody Play is not a highbrow evening at the theatah. This Funhouse Lounge production is more like an R-rated carnival ride funded by Mel Brooks on food stamps. Whereas the original 1992 film could never quite tell whether it was playing the joke on itself, this version takes the inherent corniness to town, crowns it and proclaims it king. Punches are met with mistimed “pow” sound effects, like an audible comic book. Gymnastics are replaced with stagehands flipping cardboard cutouts of the actors. Landy Steckman’s turn as Buffy comes with the perfect amount of valley-girl cheese, stuffed with enough shrill lines like “That’s so fetch!” and “As if!” to fill Venice Beach. If only the parody portion of the play were similarly robust. With just a few ad-libs and a Twilight reference to distance itself from the original screenplay, Buffy! A Director’s Cut might have been a more appropriate title. But to complain that this parody lacks


originality is like bemoaning a corn dog for being too greasy. ANDREW STEINBEISER. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 29. $12-$18.

Buzzword Bingo

Kind of like the Hollywood Theatre’s B-Movie Bingo, just for standup—you get a card filled with words, jokes and random stage activities, and you check the boxes each time one of those things happens at the mic. The always amiable Sean Jordan hosts, with sets from Curtis Cook, Paul Jay, Stephanie Purtle and Alex Falcone. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 8 pm Wednesday, March 26. Free.

Funny Humans

Sean Connery hosts this free weekly standup night, featuring David Mascorro, Jacob Christopher, Jeremy Eli, Katie Rose Leon, Dan Weber and Coree Spencer. Bar of the Gods, 4801 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 232-2037. 8:30 pm Sunday, March 30. Free. 21+.

Hari Kondabolu

Wildly smart, frequently confrontational and just damn funny, the IndianAmerican Kondabolu has a way of joking about race (and feminism and gentrification and what kind of Vitamin Water is best for homeless people) that disconcerts and entertains in equal measure. Tonight, he celebrates the release of his debut album, Waiting for 2042. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 pm Sunday, March 30. $15-$22. 21+.

Hump Day Comedy

It’s an all-lady bill at this standup showcase, which features Amy Miller, Bri Pruett, Jen Tam, Barbara Holm, Rebecca Waits, Caitlin Weierhauser and Katie Brien. Proceeds benefit Potty Talk, a sketch-comedy Web series that produces charming and often funny spots about women’s relationships with their bodies and with each other. And with salad. Ford Food and Drink, 2505 SE 11th Ave., 236-3023. 7 pm Wednesday, March 26. $5-$10.

Kurt Braunohler

So you might know about Braunohler from the skywriting prank he pulled last spring (if you missed it, he enlisted a professional skywriter to trace “How do I land?” into the Los Angeles sky), but the comedian also has a style of standup that’s high-energy and fully committed. And he has an endearing tendency to smile sweetly when his jokes succeed. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday and 7:30 and 10 pm FridaySaturday, March 27-29. $15-$25.

Ladies & Gentlemen

Curious Comedy unveils a new monthly improv showcase. Each goaround will get a different group of gals, while troupe Whiskey Tango will rep the male persuasion each month. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every fourth Friday. $5.

Lex Hilaris: An Evening of Comedy and Metal

Hey, metalheads like to laugh, too. Nariko Ott hosts comedians Phil Schallberger, Alex Rios, Derek Sheen, Jordan Casner and others while sludge-metal duo Towers provides the tunes. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 236-9672. 8:30 pm Thursday, March 27. $2. 21+.

Midnight Mass

Amy Miller hosts this monthly midnight showcase, where you can spend the wee hours among the red lights and clown paintings of Funhouse Lounge. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. Midnight Saturday, March 29. Free.

Seven on Seven

The Brody folks present a show that mashes standup and improv with seven comics each doing seven minutes and then a seven-member improv troupe riffing on the material. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 9:30 pm Friday, March 28. $8.

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


For their regular comedy collaboration, Bad Reputation Productions and Portland Center Stage have again corralled a stellar lineup of very funny people, who’ll all present solo comedy sketches. The bill includes Shelley McLendon, Tony Marcellino, Janet Rivera, Erin Jean O’Regan, Nicholas Kessler and Paul Glazier. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, March 28-29. $12-$15.

Two for the Show

Each night of this improv show features two different pairs of improvisers, who’ll create fresh sets of characters and scenes. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through April 12. $12.

seem short, so Shakespeare said. If that’s true, this Bard-themed burlesque and circus show might go by quickly, with aerialists, burlesque performers and acrobats. Performers include Orchid Souris Rouge and Layne Fawks, as well as my new favorite, Johnny Nuriel, who I saw strip naked and cut off his penis at Peep Show two weeks ago. Sky Club at Ankeny’s Well, 50 SW 3rd Ave., 223-1375. 10 pm Friday, March 28. $3. 21+.

Tiffany Mills Company and Tere Mathern Gluttony and starvation: That’s the subtext for Tiffany Mills’ The Feast, a work in progress by Mills’ Brooklyn company, which will be performed at an informal showing with another inprogress work from Portland’s Tere

Mathern. Mills’ company is traveling to Portland, Seattle and the Earthdance “festival for peace” in Massachusetts while working on the piece, hopefully finding inspiration—though glutenfree veganism may be too nuanced an influence for this raw and visceral work. In it, fivedancers stack themselves on top of each other, jumble together and trace complex patterns. Some periodically roll across the floor like carpets. Mathern’s piece, Edge Effects, also plays with extremes, dealing with life in the margins or on the edge of the world. Conduit Dance, 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401, 221-5857. 7 pm Saturday, March 29. $10-$13.

For more Performance listings, visit





Bill of Goods

Performers of the new shared studio space Flock are mixing DJ party vibes with modern dance in their new quarterly series. The first installment, called Mirth, includes a performance by Dawn Stoppiello and Grace Hwang, who encourage the audience to play with an interactive performance installation. Allie Hankins works with multimedia artist Nour Mobarak to create a vocabulary of sound and movement. Keyon Gaskin partners with Massacooramaan, a DJ who spins experimental global sound, and choreographer Ruth Nelson partners with composer Eric Garcia for similar musical interplay. Finally, Tracy Broyles joins two other dancers and musician Adrian Hutapea to work on a new piece that will bring a different kind of dance to Holocene. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm Tuesday, April 1. $5. 21+.

Chicken Strip

Counter-culture queen Ambrosia Salad, of Los Angeles by way of San Francisco, headlines the one-year anniversary of this queer dance party with hip-hop group Bomb Ass Pussy, local queens Serendipity Jones and DieAnna Dae. There will be cake. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 9:30 pm Friday, March 28. $5. 21+.

Meshi Chavez

Rhinoceros, a new work by butoh artist Meshi Chavez, is a mix of Zen koans, or riddles, like this one: One day, Yanguan called to his assistant, “Bring me the rhinoceros fan.” The assistant said, “It is broken.” Yanguan said, “In that case, bring me the rhinoceros.” Get it? No? Don’t worry; koans aren’t meant to be understood in a conventional way. They’re a test of a Zen student’s progress, planting a seed of doubt to get him past thinking. Butoh, too, is not a conventional art. The Japanese movement style is abstract and a little woowoo, with dancers traditionally moving slowly while covered in white body paint. In this performance, Chavez and three other performers attempt to move the audience from the familiar to the unknown as they seek creativity in the inconceivable. That, like a koan, also probably isn’t meant to be conventionally understood. The Headwaters, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 27-29; 5:30 pm Saturday, March 29; 2 pm Sunday, March 30. $16.

New Expressive Works

Four residents of Studio 2’s New Expressive Works program perform after six months of weekly rehearsals. Yulia Arakelyan, who uses a wheelchair, covers herself in medical tubing and white paint for a butoh-inspired duet with her husband, Erik Ferguson (see article on previous page). Lucy Lee Yim performs a meditative solo called Tunnel. Eric Nordstrom, a contact-improv buff, dances in a contemporary duet with Gina Frabotta. Finally, there’s recent Portland transplant Luke Gutgsell, another contact-improv dancer who previously danced with David Dorfman Dance in New York. Studio 2, 810 SE Belmont St. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, March 28-30. $12.

Sky Club Burlesquers

Pleasure and action make the hours

AZIZ ANSARI Aziz Ansari has some of the sharpest standup out there right now. Unlike many other comics, the Parks and Recreation star doesn’t just stop at oddball observations, but puts in the necessary brain sweat to transform them into nuggets of gut-busting gold. At the moment, he’s at work on a book about relationships in the time of Twitter and Instagram—for proof of both his thoughtfulness and comic skill, listen to him explain to Conan O’Brien how texting has ruined dating. His new tour, which hits Portland this week, is titled Modern Romance. We asked Ansari a few questions via email. REBECCA JACOBSON AND DEBORAH KENNEDY. The whip-smart comedian talks romance in the digital age.

WW: You have a great bit on dick pics. How have they changed the face of modern romance? Aziz Ansari: Dick pics are just another strange development that never existed before. I can’t even think of an analogous equivalent for past generations. There hasn’t been any record of men in ancient cultures sketching pictures of their penis or carving dick pics into stone. Or maybe there is? I’ll have to look into it. What is your idea of a perfect date? I’m really a homebody these days. My perfect date would start with me and the lovely lady cooking a meal together at my house. I’d make us some nice cocktails, and after dinner we’d just chill out and watch Jurassic Park and/or Mrs. Doubtfire on Blu-ray. What are your thoughts on Tinder? This is a good story I heard about Tinder in one of our focus groups with a guy who lived in a small town. He turned on Tinder. It showed the first girl. He swiped no. The second girl came up. He swiped no again. Then it said, that’s all the girls in his area. He freaked out and thought, “Oh shit! Can I go back?!” So many parts of that story sum up modern romance to me. Do you use Snapchat? No, but I have seen it and kind of understand it. I might be too old for it. Besides penis photos, which I don’t send, I have no clue why I would want to send anyone a photo that disappears after a few seconds. That Flappy Bird ripoff that uses Drake and Drake noises, on the other hand—that I totally get! SEE IT: Aziz Ansari is at the Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800745-3000. 7 pm Wednesday and Friday, March 26 and 28. $46.50.


= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

David Geiser: Lightning

There’s a preternatural polish to David Geiser’s immaculately composed integrations of geometric and organic forms. Tendril-like forms branch out within square and rectangular structures, often in conglomerations of long, thin wooden panels. The surfaces resemble the results of some exotic film-processing technique, resplendent with deeply saturated colors, primarily red, yellow and sage green. In the painting Red Hedge, the color is so intense, it looks as if it were rubbed on with pure powdered pigment. Through March 29. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second floor, 248-9378.

Ellen Lesperance: Do You Know That One Day You Lost Your Way, Man?

As part of Disjecta’s Portland2014 biennial, artist Ellen Lesperance has created talismanic figurative sculptures from gouache, graphite and paper. They’re installed in an environment of hand-dyed silk panels, which hang in luxuriant bolts around the perimeter of the gallery. The show feels like an optical version of surround sound: an enveloping hypnotic fantasia that’s part harem dream, part tie-dyed Oregon Country Fair hootenanny. Through March 30. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Jason Langer: Possession

Look at Jason Langer’s black-andwhite photographs, and you’re apt to assume he was a historic photographer back in the 1940s. The images glow with a dramatically film-noir sheen and manage to look simultaneously gritty and polished. But Langer is contemporary; he just likes to work in a self-consciously retro style. He has a formidable technique, but unfortunately, his subject matter is all over the place: tasteful female nudes, a cobblestone alleyway, a subway tunnel, a carousel, a stripper, a tree-lined road. As a result, you don’t get any sense of Langer’s individual sensibility. The photos may as well be stock images for commercial clients: well-done, pretty, but bland and interchangable. Through March 29. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

Jeffrey Sarmiento: Constructions

Jeffrey Sarmiento’s intricate kiln-formed glass pieces are not just literally “constructions,” they’re also deconstructions of cultural identity. A Filipino-American born in Chicago and now living in the U.K., Sarmiento knows a thing or two about the ways in which context shapes our attitudes. In works like Muse and Muscles, he mimics the Ben-Day dots of black-and-white newsprint with side-byside portraits of a traditionally dressed woman and a preening bodybuilder, both archetypes of a certain kind of beauty across cultures. Implicitly,

Sarmiento asks the viewer whether we ourselves, despite our pretenses of authenticity, are always striking some sort of pose. Through May 3. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Jennifer Mercede: Complete Freedom

If you walk around Portland and pay attention, you’ll encounter Jennifer Mercede’s paintings. Like fellow artists Chris Haberman and Tom Cramer, she is a ubiquitous presence on murals and storefronts and inside gallery windows. But now, in her first show at what she calls “the infamous Mark Woolley Gallery,” she brings such a highly individual approach to each painting, it feels like you’re seeing her work for the first time. This is why she titled the show Complete Freedom. “I decided I didn’t want to have any limits or worries about making this a ‘cohesive body of work,’” she says. “I trusted what came out of me.” The strategy worked. The paintings are the opposite of formulaic; in fact, some of them are nearly unrecognizable as Mercede’s work. For an artist who’s still growing, that’s a really good thing. Through April 12. Mark Woolley Gallery, 700 SW 5th Ave., Suite 4110, 998-4152.

Lee Kelly: Pavilion

Octogenarian sculptor, painter and Northwest institution Lee Kelly debuts a new body of work in Pavilion. The show is inspired by his travels to Nepal and his fascination with the pan-cultural ideal and iconography of “the goddess.” In his paintings and steel sculptures, he deploys a mixture of gently curving shapes with hard-edged forms, such that each work becomes a kind of visual sonata, exquisitely balanced. This show proves—if there were ever any doubt—why Kelly has become such a regional treasure. Through April 26. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Lucy Capehart: Remnants

After Lucy Capehart’s parents died in a plane crash, she and her family discovered a cache of garments stored in their attic: sundresses, robes, sports coats and dress shirts. Perhaps they had fallen out of fashion with the passage of time. Or maybe they were simply misplaced on some forgotten, long-ago afternoon. Regardless, rather than throw them away or donate them to Goodwill, Capehart decided to document the clothes via an antiquarian photographic technique called cyanotype. The resulting images look like X-rays: eerily blanched out, as if seared onto the photographic plates as they are seared into the artist’s childhood memories. There is a poignancy to these works: images of clothes worn long ago by people who will never wear them again. Through March 30. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Ryan Reggiani: Sculpture



New York City artist Ryan Reggiani presents one of the most materially and conceptually sophisticated exhibitions seen in the Northwest in at least four months. His sculpture, Untitled (Hanging), is made of steel bent into the contours of a curtain, for an inexplicable optical melding of hard and soft. Meanwhile, his metal-framed light-bulb sculptures have structural rigor, lowbrow curb appeal and wry humor. And that’s just the beginning. To see the breadth of Reggiani’s practice, you have to see the show in person. Through March 29. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101.

Sue Friesz: Transformation

Inside the small, discreet box that makes up the PDX Window Project, Sue Friesz deploys plywood, acrylic paint and “abrasion-resistant polycarbonate material” (fancy lingo for plastic) in biomorphic forms. It lives up to its title, Transformation. The beauty of this piece lies in its evocation of multifarious shapes: a dove taking off in flight, a butterfly’s wings, a stylized palm tree. Which one does it “really” depict? Um, yes. Through March 29. PDX Window Project, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Tamara English: The Worlds Are Glorious

Over the past decade, painter Tamara English has charted a course from sumptuous landscapes, rife with tangled vines and fl owers, to mystical semi-abstract iconography to an inspired commingling of the two. In her fi rst showing with Nisus Gallery, she displays her gift for naturalistic color and intuitive composition. Works such as Fortitude feature a mysterious symmetrical motif rising like a fountain above a forest fl oor. In Shimmering, English exploits the rhythm of vertical drips that pour down like streaking rain. These elements—the symbolic and the painterly—combine in the vibrant work titled Praising, which manages somehow to seem playful and profound at the same time. Through April 27. Nisus Gallery, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 806-1427.

Wes Mills: Hamilton Drawings

Montana-based artist Wes Mills fills PDX Contemporary with a suite of ravishingly elegant mixed-media works on paper, which he calls Hamilton Drawings. They’re intricately folded, fastidiously complex groupings of circles in a wide array of compositions. In some, the circles float free atop a light-colored background; in others, they coalesce around a central vertical axis, evoking blueprints for Frank Lloyd Wright’s decorative designs. The papers have a delicate, marbled surface, imparting an archival feel that befits the timeless shapes. Through April 12. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

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EYE GLASSES: Two of these “log dogs” feature glass inserts.

EYE RIVER If you’ve walked, biked or driven down Southeast Clay Street in recent weeks, you may have noticed Portland’s newest public art. They’re three sculptures by artist Linda Wysong, collectively titled Eye River, although many people call them “log dogs,” after the old logging tools they’re based on. At 6 feet tall and 500 pounds apiece, the caststeel sculptures look like oversized needles: widening from their bases, flaring out, tapering, then widening up top. If you squint, they look like a woman with an hourglass figure. You’ll find them along a 12-block section of Southeast Clay Street at 12th, 7th and Water avenues. The one at Water Avenue has a stylized wave in its “eye,” made out of blue and green glass, while the sculpture at 7th Avenue features an antique map of the city’s industrial Southeast. The most elegant version, at 12th Avenue, has an open, empty eye, inviting you to project your own interpretations. Wysong based her design on small steel tools used around the turn of the 20th century to rope logs together and float them down the Willamette. These log dogs became the artist’s central motif for the project after a long process of community input, coordinated by the Regional Arts & Culture Council and the city’s Bureau of Environmental Services. According to the bureau’s spokesman, Linc Mann, the sculptures cost a total of $59,800, funded dually by the city’s “Percent for Art” program and a grant from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. They’re an aesthetic component of the otherwise utilitarian “Route to the River/ Green Street” project, which has improved stormwater management by adding drainage swales and greenery in targeted areas around Portland. With its richly rusted surface, Eye River shares visual currency with the nearby Inversion: Plus Minus—public-art structures by Seattle’s Lead Pencil Studio. But unlike the soaring Inversion, the new sculptures don’t dwarf pedestrians; they’re roughly human-sized and, indeed, have a welcoming, human feel. When you stand on the sidewalk and look at them, they seem to look right back at you and say: “C’mon—this way to the river!” “Some people have told me it reminds them of a goddess shape,” Wysong says. “It’s interesting that some people can look at it as a goddess, but other people see this macho industrial tool from the logging industry. So it has a range, an abstract beauty that’s not limited.” We couldn’t agree more. RICHARD SPEER.

Supersize versions of old logging tools.

GO: For more information about Eye River, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014




= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.


tributor to global warming: poor farming practices. In addition to burning fossil fuels, generations of farming and modern industrial agriculture have released as much as 80 percent of the carbon in the soil into the atmosphere. But fear not, she has a solution. We’re curious—is it made of people? Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.


FRIDAY, MARCH 28 Annabelle Gurwitch

pG. 25

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26 Carl Hoffman


Get your records, CDs, and DVDs signed by lead vocalist Trevor Strnad and a mystery member or two of Black Dahlia Murder! Ask a clerk how to win a $100 Music Millennium gift card and shop with the band at the in-store.


SUN 3/30 @ 5 PM

Hailing from ever eclectic Baltimore, Md., SUN CLUB infuses bright instrumentals, animal calls, and delirious stomping with dirty sunshine pop to get your body grooving.

The 1961 disappearance of Michael Rockefeller (youngest son of New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller) remained a mystery for decades after he vanished on a trip to New Guinea. But journalist and National Geographic Traveler editor Carl Hoff man spent months among local tribes in New Guinea to learn his fate (spoiler alert: it’s not a good one). The title of Hoff man’s new book, Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism and Michael Rockefeller’s Tragic Quest for Primitive Art, pretty much sums it up. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, MARCH 27 Joel Heng Hartse

Plenty of memoirs have been written about the drug-fueled sex romps of a life in rock ’n’ roll, but rarely do we hear about the Christian counterpart (juice boxes and hand-holding?). Looking back on his evangelical childhood and the music that shaped his youth in the ’90s, Joel Heng Hartse will read from his new memoir, Sects, Love, and Rock & Roll. Joining him for a panel discussion on Portland’s underground Christian rock scene will be local musicians Danny Seim, Todd Fadel and Johnny Bertram. First Christian Church, 1314 SW Park Ave., 228-9211. 6 pm. Free.

Sister Spit


SPECIAL PRE-RELEASE LIVE PERFORMANCE! • TUES 4/1 @ 7 PM Pre-buy Tarpaper Sky for guaranteed admission to the in-store. $13.99 ON CD, $16.99 LP. Esteemed musician, songwriter and author Rodney Crowell has teamed up with New West Records to release Tarpaper Sky, his new self-produced album. Crowell has pushed the boundaries of country, folk and roots music since long before the term Americana was coined as a genre, making a name for himself and gaining respect as both a songwriter and as an artist.

3158 E. Burnside / 503-231-8926 / 44

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

Since its inception in the Bay Area scene of the early ’90s, Sister Spit has been shining a spotlight on female writers, emerging artists and all those with a queer-infl uenced sensibility and passion. The radical collective is still making its way around the country and will stop in Portland with a lineup that includes writer Rhiannon Argo (The Creamsickle); author, lecturer and fat activist Virgie Tovar; writer and fi lmmaker Dia Felix; writer and performer (and host) Beth Lisick; artist Jerry Lee Abram; and Portland’s own Lydia Yuknavitch (Dora: A Headcase). Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 2883231. 9 pm. $10.

Skewering the indignities faced by actresses “of a certain age” in Hollywood, actress, writer and humorist Annabelle Gurwitch approaches the topic with selfdeprecation and wit in her new collection of essays, I See You Made an Eff ort. Gurwitch will be joined in a conversation with Oregonian pop-culture writer Kristi Turnquist. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 30 Jimmy Carter

Former president, Nobel Peace Prize winner and all-around likable guy Jimmy Carter has long spoken out against the abusive treatment of women and girls, particularly in religious societies, and has been an advocate for women taking on leadership roles to quell a culture of violence. Carter will be in Portland to read from and speak about his new book, A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and Power. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 2 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 31 Jenny Bowen

As the only Westerner working with the Chinese government to help reform the child welfare system, Jenny Bowen founded the Half the Sky Foundation and has assisted more than 100,000 orphaned or abandoned children. Her new memoir, Wish You Happy Forever, tells the full tear-jerking story. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, APRIL 1 Tom Spanbauer

Portland author Tom Spanbauer could be considered responsible for some of the best and most widely recognized contemporary writing to come out of the Pacifi c Northwest, both in his own acclaimed novels like Faraway Places and Now Is the Hour as well as from the authors who have emerged from the writing group he founded, like Chuck Palahniuk, Chelsea Cain and Cheryl Strayed. Spanbauer’s fi fth novel and newest release, I Loved You More , follows the themes of his previous work by examining the heartbreak of relationships and deeper issues of sexuality. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Kristin Ohlson

In her new book, The Soil Will Save Us , journalist Kristin Ohlson describes a lesser-known con-

For more Books listings, visit

maRch 26–aPRil 1 FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.



Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

3 Days to Kill

Kevin Costner tries to pull a Liam Neeson. PG-13. Clackamas.

12 Years a Slave

A Twelve Years a Slave was part of

a literary tide. When the memoir was published in 1853, Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Frederick Douglass’ autobiography were bestsellers, helping to fuel the abolitionist movement. But Solomon Northup’s story was different. Born a free man, he led a comfortable life as a carpenter and violinist with his wife and children in upstate New York in 1841, when he was kidnapped and sold into slavery. Northup managed to regain his freedom 12 years later and soon published Twelve Years a Slave, which became a bestseller of its own. But at some point, Northup disappeared and his book fell out of print. Now, it’s little-known outside the halls of academia. All of which makes British director Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave an even more staggering revelation. The film is agonizing but not lurid, compassionate but not melodramatic, patient but still thrilling. McQueen exposes the full extent of slavery’s physical cruelty, from the endless hours of cotton-picking to the capricious acts of violence, as well as the system’s psychological toll. Chiwetel Ejiofor, with stoicism and crushing reserve, plays a man forced to keep his head down and feign illiteracy. Despite its handful of vicious instances of violence, 12 Years has none of the garish extravagance of last year’s Django Unchained, in which Quentin Tarantino perverted a historical atrocity into a hip-hopscored spaghetti Western. Alongside the film’s occasional brutality, McQueen stages takes of astounding beauty and surprising tranquility. He’s a patient filmmaker, favoring long shots and wide angles over the quick cuts and close-ups that can sap scenes of their impact. Most impressive is that 12 Years a Slave does not feel like an ethical or educational obligation. While its instructive value is undeniable, this is also a rousing portrait, a morally complicated tale and a masterful work of art. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall.

300: Rise of an Empire

D+ Say what you will about Zack Snyder’s ultraviolent, exceedingly homoerotic 2006 film 300, but the comic-book adaptation delivered exactly what it promised: It was big and dumb, with visual verve of unprecedented elegance (plus a lot of shouting). Eight years later, nobody was exactly clamoring for a sequel to a film that saw its main characters beheaded, yet here we have Noam Murro’s 300: Rise of an Empire, a film that expands the battlefield to the ocean but comes off as a dull, lifeless Xerox of the original. Eschewing most of the story in favor of non-stop carnage (which is probably the right call), Rise of an Empire pits Greek general Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) against the Persian navy, led by the bloodthirsty and libidinous Artemisia (Eva Green). What unfolds is a cacophony of severed limbs, exploding bodies and CGI boats that look like they were pulled from an outdated 300 video game. The special effects are the biggest stars of the series, and yet nothing here manages to transport the viewer into the brutal wonderland Snyder concocted. Computeranimated blood spurts look like Play-Doh, the crashing waves of the ocean like something rendered for the GameCube. Eva Green, snarling and heaving, lends life to her scenes, but it’s like she’s in a different movie. For a film about halfnaked dudes butchering each other for 100 minutes, Rise of an Empire is torturously lifeless. R. AP KRYZA. 99W Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport,

Clackamas, Forest, Oak Grove, Sandy.

American Hustle

A Director David O. Russell’s

vision of America has always been Winesburg, Ohio, hopped up on trucker speed: a place of frantic grotesques distorted by their own need. In his new film, American Hustle— loosely based on the Abscam federal bribery scandal of the 1970s—everyone from New Jersey’s mayor to federal agents to small-time con artists are so warped by ambition that integrity and even identity become expensive luxury items. The film is a balls-to-the-wall, unbridled love affair with homegrown bullshit and piss-taking. American Bullshit was, in fact, the working title of the film, and in bullshit, it would seem Russell has finally found his true subject matter. From the sincerely insincere, American Hustle builds genuine characters. The film’s establishing shot is brilliant in this regard: a humorously long sequence of Christian Bale’s potbellied con man, Irving Rosenfeld, gluing a toupee to his head. When meticulously permed federal agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) makes a move on Rosenfeld’s girl almost immediately thereafter, it’s an insult. When he musses his rug, it’s an unforgivable violation. It’s a wild pretzel of a plot: Rosenfeld and mistress Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) have been caught by DiMaso in an undercover sting and are forced to run confidence rackets for the feds in order to nab other grifters. Halfway through the film, it’s unclear who’s conning whom, but it’s clear everybody’s conning themselves. This is the high wire that makes American Hustle so exhilarating, with the quick turns of a David Mamet or Howard Hawks fasttalkie. Despite its ’70s high-criminal subject matter, it is far closer to His Girl Friday than to Goodfellas. Really, it’s the sort of flick we’ve rarely seen since the ’40s: a farce with a heart. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Hollywood Theatre, Milwaukie, St. Johns, Valley.

August: Osage County

C In August: Osage County, Meryl Streep is a pill-popping Tyrannosaurus rex in a black bouffant wig. Julia Roberts is a weatherparched velociraptor in mom jeans. And when these mother-daughter dinosaurs go at it, expect things to break: mostly dinner plates, but also hearts, eardrums and any shred of goodwill that survives in this seriously twisted family. Alongside all that destruction, don’t be surprised if your patience breaks as well. This screen adaptation of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer Prize-winning play operates at such a consistently high pitch that it numbs rather than blisters. The film finds a family reunited in northern Oklahoma following the death (it’s presumed a suicide, and we can hardly blame him) of Beverly Weston, a hard-drinking poet. His wife, Violet (Streep), suffers from mouth cancer, but that doesn’t stop her from spewing endless streams of bilious invective at her three daughters. Letts’ play won raves for its ability to imbue soap opera-style revelations with fiery humor, but John Wells’ directorial hand is so weak that the film just plays as a succession of histrionic showdowns. Streep exceeds even her own stratospheric standards for scenery-chewing, purloining any sense of surprise from her character. As the oldest daughter, Roberts fares somewhat better, with a few moments so arrestingly aggressive you might forgive what’s come before. But then another dinner plate shatters and, with it, any sense of charity. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.

CONT. on page 46

THE ImmORTaL COIL: Robyn miller as the titular character in The Immortal Augustus Gladstone.


In 1993, brothers Robyn and Rand Miller released a project that would change the face of computer gaming. The project, two years in the making, was Myst, a game that took players to the mysterious Myst Island, where they navigated eerily lush landscapes and solved cryptic puzzles. In a time when most homes didn’t have Internet—and before CD-ROMs had really caught on—Myst had a beguiling storyline, cutting-edge visuals and impressive sound effects. It generated a cultlike following of fans, who made it the best-selling PC game of the ’90s. Wired magazine even suggested it was defining computer games as a new art form. But as a narrative, Myst had its limitations— players simply solved riddles, and there were no complex characters. That’s what spurred Robyn Miller to move from the computer lab to the movie studio, writing, directing and starring in a new feature film. In The Immortal Augustus Gladstone, the titular character (played by Miller) claims he’s a 150-year-old epileptic vampire with gay tendencies—his alleged lovers include Andy Warhol and Count Robert de Montesquiou of France. It’s a mockumentary—though Miller insists on calling it a “faux-documentary”—with a strong mythological bent, and it’s set in Portland. (Watch for the scenes at Southeast Belmont Street’s Pied Cow, in which employee Jimmy Chen makes a cameo as himself.) The Washington Post called it “strangely poetic,” praising how it challenged the purportedly objective nature of documentary filmmaking. Last September, it won Best Picture at the Oregon Independent Film Festival. “For me, I felt like it wasn’t a big jump,” says Miller, 47. “The ability to tell stories [in computer games] is there, but I wanted to delve a little deeper. [This film] is multitiered, with the simple message that people who are unlike the vast majority of us are still very precious.” Miller lived in Portland for two years and still

visits frequently. Portland, he says, “celebrates diversity and weirdness,” which is why he decided to set the film here. “I feel Augustus would locate himself in a place where he could be accepted,” Miller adds. “He wouldn’t get as many stares.” Augustus gets those stares due to his distinctive appearance: A hairless man with pasty flesh, he covers his bald head with a stiff, waxy-looking blond wig and favors a Mr. Rogers-style wardrobe. But Miller says it’s easy to be drawn to Augustus. “I have known people like Augustus,” he says. “He’s this moralistic guy who has a lot of flaws, but in a weird way, you’re attracted to the character. He feels like a guy who is hiding entire parts of himself, even though he desires to be so open.” Miller thinks smaller towns with more conservative audiences—such as Spokane, where Miller now lives and where some of the film was shot— may “shake their heads quizzically” at the film. It remains unclear, for example, whether Augustus is actually a plasma-slurping vampire or just a mentally unstable man. In the film, he speaks vaguely and evasively about living during the Civil War and being immortal. “Blood is better for the desire, but plasma is what you need,” he says at one point. When asked how he gets the plasma, Augustus replies: “Well, I just don’t want to be talkin’, you know, just sayin’ everything like that. Some things

“I HAVE A REAL LOVE FOR EARLY MONSTER FILMS AND BOOKS.” —ROBYn MILLER you want to be private.” To create such a slippery character, Miller says he drew inspiration from literature, particularly Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. “I have a real love for early monster films and books,” he says. “Frankenstein’s character is very innocent at the core, but he has to try to make sense of very complex things.” But he didn’t stop at fiction. “I was partially inspired by my own mom,” he says, laughing as he compares his mother to the occasionally reactionary, ever-elusive Augustus. “I hope she doesn’t hear this.” SEE IT: The Immortal Augustus Gladstone is available on iTunes beginning April 1. Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


march 26–april 1

a birder’s guide to everything

Bad Words

B- Remember that scene in Billy

Madison where Adam Sandler makes fun of a second-grader because she can’t spell “couch”? Bad Words is kind of like that, only 90 minutes longer. Jason Bateman plays a 40-year-old named Guy exploiting a loophole in the rules that allows him to enter the prestigious Golden Quill Spelling Bee, much to the chagrin of the organizers and the other contestants’ parents. Not only a preternaturally good speller but also an unabashed prick, Guy spends his downtime ducking the questions of a reporter (Kathryn Hahn) who follows him around and begrudgingly befriending (or, depending on one’s view of it, corrupting) a precocious boy whose hotel room is just a few doors down from his. The interactions between the two are the film’s highlight: Guy’s vulgar cynicism colliding with the kid’s brighteyed innocence may be low-hanging fruit, but Bateman still does a fine job of picking every ripe piece. The Arrested Development star, who’s also making his debut as a director, gets a lot of laughs out of the film’s premise but little emotional resonance. We know there’s more to Guy, especially once he starts vaguely alluding to his absentee father, but Bad Words struggles whenever it strays out of its profane comfort zone. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Clackamas, Bridgeport.


A Birder’s Guide to

B [ONE WEEK ONLY] In Rob Meyer’s A Birder’s Guide to Everything, we meet David Portnoy (Kodi SmitMcPhee), a lanky, awkward 15-yearold. He’s also crazy about birds. That’s why he and two of his equally awkward, avian-obsessed friends head out in a stolen car on the eve of David ’s dad ’s wedding in search of an extinct duck. It’s a classic coming-of-age quest in the style of Stand by Me, just without a dead boy, far less cussing and a lot more skyward gazes. David’s bird hunt is more than just an act of rebellion against his father, with whom he has a strained relationship—it’s a search for meaning after the recent death of his mother, who was also an avid birder. During their quest, the boys take risks, test friendships (at one point, they nearly kill their asthmatic buddy) and stumble through pubescent hormones and teenybopper crushes. Ben Kingsley’s performance as Lawrence Konrad, an ornithologist who joins the boys in their quest, is honest and convincing, while the three young actors who play the birders have enough natural klutziness, angst and teen-boy wit to make this a charming and easy-towatch film. pG-13. KATHRYN PEIFER. Clinton Street Theater.

Cesar Chavez

Michael Peña stars in Diego Luna’s biopic about the legendary civilrights activist and labor leader. Consider it a chance to learn why Portland renamed Southeast 39th Avenue. pG-13. Clackamas, Cornelius, Bridgeport, Division, Lloyd Center.


Dallas Buyers Club

A The first time Matthew

McConaughey appears onscreen in Dallas Buyers Club, the reflex is to gasp. That carved-from-amber beach bod has been whittled down to a toothpick. He’s gaunt, almost insectoid, with a head too big for his neck and skin stretched like plastic wrap around his eyes and Adam’s apple. It’s a transformation mirroring that of McConaughey’s career over the past year, ever since the day he woke up, put on a shirt and decided to become the best actor of his generation: The rom-com lothario has withered away. In his place arrives a performer at his peak, in a role that better damn well win him an Oscar, as an AIDS activist the movies have never seen before: a shit-kicking, homophobic redneck. That redneck actually existed, too. In 1985, Ron Woodroof, a Dallas electrician, bull rider and pussy-chasing, coke-snorting degenerate, became one of the rare straight men in the early years of the AIDS epidemic to contract HIV. Left out of the trials of an experimental new drug, and frustrated by the grinding inertia of Big Pharma, Woodroof went to Mexico, where, with a cocktail of natural supplements and non-FDA-approved meds, he was nursed back to health. Figuring there was a great racket in AIDS drugs that actually worked, he returned to Texas and opened a “buyers club.” Operating out of a fleabag motel, he skirted federal regulations by selling “memberships” at a rate of $400 per month and doling out the banned substances for “free.” To the credit of writers Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack and director Jean-Marc Vallée, Dallas Buyers Club has no weepy epiphanies, no soliloquies about newfound understanding. Woodroof may have been an asshole, but he was an asshole whose instinct for self-preservation eventually helped extend the lives of millions of better people. And, in the face of a plague, that’s worth more than one jerk’s enlightenment. r. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.


B At first glance, Divergent would seem to be riding on the coattails of The Hunger Games. Here’s another dystopian YA novel-turnedwannabe blockbuster, with another rising star—Shailene Woodley, in for Jennifer Lawrence—at the center. But with Divergent, director Neil Burger proves there’s more than one way to ride this wave. Veronica Roth wrote Divergent while still in college—and probably right after reading Ender’s Game—and she brings together the overthrow of an oppressive government and a freshman-year identity crisis. The movie’s opening shots show a dystopian Chicago divided into “factions” of like-minded citizens. Woodley plays Beatrice from “Abnegation”—the plainly clothed nurturers responsible for elderly citizens and factionless hobos. But “Dauntless,” the leather-fitted warriors who protect the city, catch Beatrice’s eye as they sprint through the city like steampunk parkour runners, and the 16-year-old opts to leave her faction to join them. Despite Roth’s thinly developed

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

characters, Woodley is enchanting, and while her relationship with Four (Theo James, who looks like some in-vitro love child of James Franco and Paul Walker) isn’t any remarkable surprise, it sets a refreshing example for a young target audience. Conceptually, Divergent employs elements from Harry Potter, G.I. Jane and Gattaca, and visually, it offers a memorable take on the post-apocalyptic landscape without overdosing on CGI. And there’s just enough here to excite the mothers or older cousins who end up at the movie with their young charges, as in one scene atop a decommissioned Ferris wheel. As Four and Tris look out over a dilapidated carnival, the camera glances to his hand on her hip for an appreciated, steamy millisecond. pG13. LAUREN TERRY. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Sandy, St. Johns.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

B+ The old, snide rejoinder to an over-decorated show is that “you leave humming the sets,” but Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel may be the first movie where you come out tasting them. The titular Alpine resort is the most edible-looking lodge in cinema: a multitiered, pink-frosted castle designed to endure as an ambrosial memory. Our hero, M. Gustave, is the dapper concierge running the Grand Budapest front desk and back halls. He’s played by Ralph Fiennes with such flowery cosmopolitanism that you can almost see the cloud of cologne drifting behind him as he scurries to his next boudoir appointment with a rich dowager. I’d love to recite an ode to

The Grand Budapest Hotel, because it’s the most politically aware story Anderson has told. It’s set in an imaginary Middle European country in the 1930s, at the edge of war. Its story, a silly caper, brushes against the deepest horrors of the 20th century, and ends by acknowledging irrevocable damage. Yet I can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing. The Grand Budapest Hotel confirms the split of Anderson’s work into three distinct periods. His earliest pictures (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums) feature perpetual teenagers play-acting at the ideal lives they can’t quite maintain. His second act (The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited) follows spoiled men globe-trekking for purpose. And then, starting with Fantastic Mr. Fox,




Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me

A- For someone who made her

Broadway debut 68 years ago, Elaine Stritch is still quite the firecracker. Dressed in her trademark white collared shirt and black tights—as Tina Fey notes, the long-legged legend doesn’t wear pants—Stritch has irrepressible elan, both onstage and off. Chiemi Karasawa’s documentary Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me isn’t a sweeping biography but rather a portrait of the performer as she neared her 87th birthday (she’s now 89). One moment she’s breaking into an impromptu rumba and unleashing an expletive-rich prayer before a performance, and the next she’s suffering a scary hypoglycemic attack. As brassy as Stritch can be, she’s acutely aware she’s in the last act of her life: “Oh, darling, dying is easy,” she says. “Comedy is hard.” And she wants it all documented, from her Sondheim-centric cabaret act to her daily tasks—at one point, she berates a cameraman for not adequately capturing how she unpacks a box of English muffins. For those who only know Stritch as Alec Baldwin’s cantankerous mother on 30 Rock, this is an alternately rollicking and bittersweet introduction to the star. And for those more familiar, it’s a touching testament to the way the stage has given Stritch seven decades of stories, purpose and joy. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.


B Widely hailed as a return to the classic animated features of yore, Frozen arrives as an uncomplicated triumph of traditionalism, for better or worse. A musical-theater retelling of classic Hans Christian Andersen tale The Snow Queen, hidebound Disney preservationists were worried the decidedly modern title foretold the goofy revisionism of 2010’s Rapunzel fan-fic Tangled. But there’s a far easier explanation for the name change: Once again, it’s all about the princesses. Kristen Bell’s Anna takes center stage as a rambunctious royal eagerly awaiting the social possibilities accompanying her older sister’s imminent coronation. Orphaned at a young age and isolated by a sibling whose flourishes of wintry magic are only restrained through staunch emotional unavailability, Anna thrills at the prospect of first love: One lyric snickers, “Why have a ballroom without any balls?” Compared to the pandering messiness of most kids’ movies, there’s plenty to excite the family-friendly faithful. Widescreen 3-D visuals sculpt an endlessly inventive setting of ice palaces and snowcapped peaks, the original songs written by veterans of Avenue Q and The Book of Mormon soar and tickle as needed, and snowman sidekick Olaf giddily beats back the encroaching melodrama. It’s the sort of Disney film even Disney barely makes anymore, as majestic and problematic as a sudden snowfall, and, like all blizzards of youth, we’ll mourn its passing. pG. JAY HORTON. Academy Theater, Avalon, Empirical Theater at OMSI, Indoor Twin, Kennedy School, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood, St. Johns, Valley.

dirty face but no angel: charlotte gainsbourg.

NYMPHOMANIAC: VOLUME 1 Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac contains nothing less than the future of movies: Celebrities and fashion models are digitally grafted onto the thrusting, interpenetrating genitalia of unknown porn actors, who hump in relative anonymity. Call it ghost porn, stunt porn, whatever you like. It’s brilliant. But it’s also a grade-A troll of the moviegoing public, as are the credits, which blitzkrieg the viewer with Rammstein over disconnected fits of self-degradation and vagina still lifes. The mere casting of Shia LeBeouf as a love interest—or Christian Slater as a loving father—points to a seething, Andy Kaufmanesque wit. Ambiguous humor and vicious seriousness often intersect uncomfortably in von Trier’s films. Nymphomaniac—the third in the Danish director’s “Depression Trilogy” after the brutal Antichrist and lovely Melancholia—arrives with a firestorm of press about sex, sex and more sex among LeBeouf, Charlotte Gainsbourg and model Stacy Martin (who plays the young version of Gainsbourg). But as in most von Trier movies, the real subject isn’t so much sex as the endless suffering of women. It’s part sympathy, part clinical exploitation, part digressive philosophical inquiry. Gainsbourg’s character, Joe, the titular nymphomaniac, arrives as a beaten hump, and is rescued by a creepily deadpan Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård). This first installment—Volume 2 comes out in a month—is essentially Joe’s confession of her history of joyless sex with 10 or 20 men a day since she was a teenager. Seligman hilariously compares her sexual conquests to fly-fishing, Fibonacci numbers and classical polyphony (often with quirky visual cues) to tell her that her experiences are all perfectly normal. They aren’t, of course. Her first sexual experience is getting fucked in the ass by LeBeouf. Life isn’t normal after that. And so her next exploit is a game of how many strangers one can boff on a train, and then a glee club devoted to defeating love. In its absurdist utopianism without understanding, it reaches back to von Trier’s most vital movie, The Idiots. But unlike that film, Nymphomaniac is almost without affect, save a movie-stealing scene in which Uma Thurman plays a passive-aggressive, wronged wife who’s come to see the “whoring bed.” The others are all dead-faced props. It’s almost as if von Trier wanted to be free to use people without the distraction of personality. Which makes him a lot like his main character. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Still life with genitalia.

B- see it: Nymphomaniac: Volume 1 opens Friday at Hollywood Theatre and Cinema 21.

MARCH 26–APRIL 1 come the fairy tales. Fox, Moonrise Kingdom and Budapest all include the same elements: stop-motion, maps, tunnels, and heroes marching at right angles and dangling from great heights. What they don’t have are characters who talk to each other. And with the exception of the fantastically realized M. Gustave, they don’t reveal their essence by actions. Who are these beautiful visitors in The Grand Budapest Hotel ? They’re meant to be ghosts, but they shouldn’t be strangers. We stick out our tongues to catch the shimmering snowfl akes, and taste only air. R . AARON MESH . Cinema 21 , Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center.



B+ And so there’s this computer. It’s an artifi cially hyperintelligent operating system that’s half personal secretary, half therapist. It speaks in a naturalistic feminine rasp. It seems to be thinking. It seems to know you. You fall in love with her. She falls in love with you. Then she develops the capacity for jealousy. Eventually, you’re arguing about sex. She starts saying things like, “I’m becoming much more than they programmed.” Twenty years ago, this scenario would ’ve played as a dystopian nightmare. But in the era of Catfi sh, where “dating” is an increasingly abstract concept, the premise of Spike Jonze’s Her can serve as the basis for an honest-to-goodness rela-


tionship drama. Her, the fi rst fi lm Jonze has written himself, isn’t another Charlie Kaufman mind puzzle, but its emotions are no easier to untangle, nor to categorize. Is it sci-fi ? Horror? Satire? Or is a story about falling in love with binary code the only honest way to talk about modern romance? Credit Jonze for never mocking Joaquin Phoenix’s lonely former L.A. Weekly staff er-turned-emotional copywriter, even though he puts him in a ’stache-andglasses combo out of a pedophile Halloween costume and gives him the exceptionally dweeby name Theodore Twombley. Thanks to Phoenix’s warm, subtly brave performance, his character doesn’t

Noah XD (PG-13) 12:45PM 4:00PM 7:15PM 10:30PM Muppets Most Wanted (PG) 10:55AM 12:20PM 1:40PM 3:10PM 4:35PM 6:05PM 7:30PM 9:00PM 10:20PM Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 10:55AM 4:40PM 10:30PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:15AM 1:50PM 4:30PM 7:05PM 9:40PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:40PM 7:00PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 12:05PM 2:40PM 5:10PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:50PM 10:35PM Sabotage (R) 11:10AM 1:55PM 4:40PM 7:25PM 10:10PM Need For Speed (PG-13) 12:25PM 3:40PM 6:50PM 10:00PM

CONT. on page 48

A- Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity

The Great Beauty

A The Great Beauty begins with a

cannonball, followed closely by a heart attack, and concludes with a 104-year-old toothless nun crawling on her knees up the steps of a church. Paolo Sorrentino’s luxuriously sprawling fi lm is both enchanted and repulsed by the decadence it depicts, a tension that makes for one of the richest cinematic experiences of 2013. At the center is Jep Gambardella (a wondrous Toni Servillo), a 65-year-old hedonist who wrote an acclaimed novel as a young man and now spends his days (and nights) living large in Rome. Toward the beginning of the fi lm, he learns that his fi rst love has died, which jolts him down a path of grief, nostalgia and, because he’s at times a pompous cad, pride. That journey is a sensuous feast, scored by haunting choral music and techno mariachi, and marked by appearances by washed-up socialites, a blue-haired dwarf, vanishing giraff es and dreadful performance artists, including a woman who runs naked and blindfolded into a stone wall. The loosely connected vignettes can meander, but taken together they compose a fascinating portrait of Berlusconi’s Italy, one that is too consumed by orgiastic terrace parties and neverending conga lines to realize how stagnant it’s become. REBECCA JACOBSON . Academy Theater.


begins with a staggeringly brilliant and mesmerizingly staged 17-minute single take, which manages to encapsulate every single feeling the rest of the fi lm will instill in its viewers: tranquility, warmth, peace, trepidation, nervousness, endearment, wonder and, most of all, fear. With Gravity, Cuarón and his screenwriter son, Jonas, take on the most primal fear possible, that of being lost in an abyss of nothingness. The fi lm features only two actors, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Their simple space-station repair mission turns into a nightmare as debris from a destroyed satellite tears their shuttle to shreds and they’re left hopelessly adrift with a dwindling supply of oxygen. We, like the characters, are stuck, watching the events as they unfold, mostly in real time, and gasping for our collective breath as the oxygen meter slowly runs out. It is perhaps the most stressful experience to be had in a movie theater this year, and as such it’s nearly perfect. Bullock exudes terror and strength in her diffi cult role. Clooney, here playing a supporting piece of space debris, becomes the fi lm’s sense of calm and functions as much-needed comic relief. It’s impossible to even consider relaxing as the characters drift from one scrape with death to the next over the course of 90 unrelenting minutes. But it’s in the brief lulls that Cuarón manages his most amazing feats, allowing us to stop and stare in awe at the beauty of the images onscreen. The fi lm is as haunting and beautiful as it is brilliant . PG-13 . AP KRYZA . Hollywood Theatre, Living Room Theaters, Mt. Hood, Empirical Theater at OMSI.

Muppets Most Wanted (PG) 11:00AM 12:00PM 1:45PM 2:45PM 4:30PM 5:30PM 7:15PM 8:15PM 10:00PM Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 3:50PM 10:10PM Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club (PG-13) 7:30PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:00AM 12:15PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:20PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 10:00PM Sabotage (R) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Need For Speed (PG-13) 12:40PM 7:00PM Noah (PG-13) 11:05AM 12:40PM 2:15PM 3:50PM 5:25PM 7:00PM 8:35PM 10:10PM

Noah (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:30PM 5:40PM 8:55PM LEGO (PG) 11:15AM 4:25PM 9:55PM 300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:05AM 1:45PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM Bad Words (R) 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:35PM 8:00PM 10:25PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 7:45PM 10:25PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 4:05PM 10:15PM 3 Days To Kill (PG-13) 1:55PM 7:40PM Grand Budapest Hotel, The (R) 11:35AM 2:20PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:05PM LEGO 3D (PG) 1:45PM 7:10PM God’s Not Dead (PG) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:35PM Cesar Chavez (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:10PM 4:55PM 7:35PM 10:15PM Divergent (PG-13) 11:00AM 11:50AM 12:35PM 2:15PM 3:05PM 3:55PM 5:30PM 6:30PM 7:15PM 8:50PM 9:50PM 10:30PM

300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 12:40PM 3:20PM 6:05PM 8:45PM Divergent (PG-13) 11:25AM 12:30PM 1:35PM 2:40PM 3:45PM 4:50PM 6:05PM 7:00PM 8:05PM 9:15PM 10:10PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:40AM 2:05PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 4:40PM 7:20PM 10:00PM LEGO (PG) 11:50AM 2:25PM 7:35PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 10:20PM Grand Budapest Hotel, The (R) 11:30AM 2:10PM 4:45PM 7:20PM 10:00PM LEGO 3D (PG) 5:00PM 10:20PM

Pre-shows Thursday night for Need for Speed and Tyler Perry’s Single Mothers Club

CREEPER ALERT: Jake Gyllenhaal.

ENEMY Jake Gyllenhaal times two, plus some tarantulas.

Enemy, the latest film from Prisoners director Denis Villeneuve, begins with a koanlike epigraph: “Chaos is order yet undeciphered.” As self-serious as that line may be, Villeneuve quickly redeems himself with a series of hypnotically weird scenes—including one involving tarantulas and masked women at a sex club that’s right out of Eyes Wide Shut—that prove this isn’t entirely an indulgent exercise in pseudo-intellectualism. Based on a novel by Pulitzer Prize-winning Portuguese fabulist José Saramago, Enemy centers on an affectless history professor named Adam (Jake Gyllenhaal, who also worked with Villeneuve on Prisoners), a man who spends his days resisting conversation with his colleagues and his nights having distracted sex with his gorgeous girlfriend. But when one particularly tenacious co-worker suggests Adam rent a silly rom-com, he gives in—and discovers that one of the actors looks exactly like him. Thus begins a Jekyll and Hyde-meet-Twilight Zone scenario, in which Adam disguises himself in girly sunglasses and sets out in search of his doppelgänger. His name is Anthony, and he shares Adam’s face, voice and scars— even his handwriting—but not his melancholy. As the look-alikes, Gyllenhaal turns in two sly and playful performances, sweating and stuttering as Adam, crowing and strutting as Anthony. Yet the differences remain subtle enough that each time Gyllenhaal appears onscreen, you ask yourself which man he’s playing. Set in an unnamed Canadian city (it was shot in Toronto), the entire film looks stained by nicotine, all sickly taupes and jaundiced yellows. The score, a fitful mix of strings and metallic clangs, amplifies the sense of menace. And then there’s all the spider imagery, including a dreamlike sequence in which a tarantula-headed woman walks on the ceiling. Arachnophobes may find it freaky; I found it humorously self-aware. Villeneuve, mostly to his credit, doesn’t bother to decipher the aforementioned chaos. Instead, he keeps a patient but firm grip on the proceedings, even as his characters’ grip on reality disintegrates. What it all means—and whether it’s more than a creepy mood piece—is debatable. Is Villeneuve commenting on male insecurity? On isolation and desire? Or perhaps he’s just spinning us into an intricate, inescapable web. REBECCA JACOBSON.

Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 12:30PM 6:55PM Muppets Most Wanted (PG) 11:15AM 2:10PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:10PM 3:30PM 6:50PM 10:05PM Need For Speed (PG-13) 3:40PM 10:05PM Sabotage (R) 11:10AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:25PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Noah (PG-13) 11:00AM 12:30PM 2:15PM 3:45PM 5:30PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:15PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM

300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:10AM 1:55PM 4:30PM 7:25PM 10:10PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:15PM 3:00PM 5:40PM 8:35PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:40AM 2:20PM 5:05PM 7:35PM 10:20PM Divergent (PG-13) 11:00AM 12:15PM 2:15PM 3:45PM 5:30PM 7:05PM 8:50PM 10:30PM LEGO (PG) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM 10:00PM LEGO 3D (PG) 12:25PM 3:15PM 5:55PM 8:30PM Grand Budapest Hotel, The (R) 11:20AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:20PM 10:00PM

Movie times subject to change, call theaters for times Showtimes valid Friday to Thursday

B SEE IT: Enemy is rated R. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


march 26–april 1

seem crazy. Scarlett Johansson voices the OS, and her husky rasp sounds lived-in and imperfect. In other words, it’s distinctly human. Her is, perhaps, a movie that is easier to think about than to watch: It’s overlong, and prone to greeting-card proverbs. But its central thought is one that will only grow more significant as the world becomes a bigger, more alienating place: Is any feeling real, or are we just programmed that way? r. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy Theater, Kennedy School, Living Room Theaters, Laurelhurst Theater.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

B+ When last we saw Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and his band of dwarves, they were headed to confront a dragon. But along the way, they also took an awful lot of time to do the dishes and sing songs seemingly stolen from Led Zeppelin. That was a central complaint about Peter Jackson’s first entry in his Hobbit trilogy, and it made fans wonder whether swelling J.R.R. Tolkien’s shortest book into three films would result in stagnation. That fear goes flying out the window like a decapitated orc head in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which justifies its nearly three-hour runtime not by cramming in tons of story, but by allowing the action pieces to play out with the lunacy of an ultraviolent Looney Tunes short. And so we have our heroes floating downriver in barrels as a battle between elves and orcs rages overhead, and a freaky showdown with an army of spiders. It all leads up to a confrontation with the titular dragon, who instantly becomes the most terrifyingly beautiful winged beast ever put to film. It wouldn’t be a Tolkien film without the self-seriousness, but The Desolation of Smaug never loses its sense of fun, forgoing the confusingly labyrinthine setup of its predecessor in favor of watching its heroes escape ridiculous peril time and time again. pG-13. AP KRYZA. Milwaukie.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

B While other young-adult novel

Inside Llewyn Davis

B+ Lovable losers abound in the

films of Joel and Ethan Coen. Even the most ardent admirer of Raising Arizona’s H.I. McDunnough or The Big Lebowski’s the Dude would be hard-pressed to call either man conventionally successful. But that’s kind of the point: The old adage about loving someone for his flaws holds true in these cases. Keep that in mind when you meet the title character of Inside Llewyn Davis. A down-on-hisluck folk musician in 1961 New York City, Llewyn (Oscar Isaac) crashes on friends’ squeaky couches, gigs at the Gaslight Cafe and mills about while waiting for his big break. It isn’t much of a spoiler to say he’ll be waiting awhile. Witnessing all this unfold is, in a word, lovely. That may seem an odd way to describe such a bittersweet portrait of failure and disenchantment, but the Coens are experts in drawing out the bitter and the sweet in nearly equal measure. Inside Llewyn Davis continues in the sincere, unironic register established (surprisingly, to some) by their 2010 remake of True Grit, but that’s not to say it lacks their signature black humor. Ultimately, Inside Llewyn Davis is a one-man act, and we follow Llewyn almost painfully closely as he tries to improve his lot, or at least make sense of it. When he eventually sees the words “What are you doing?” written on a restroom stall, he seems genuinely taken aback. As the viewer, getting to share in Llewyn’s struggle to answer that question in any meaningful way is more than worth the accompanying sorrow. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst Theater.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

C+ Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

exists in a strange world of hybridized espionage clichés. At its core, it stays loyal to the roots of Tom Clancy’s enduringly popular title character, pitting a younger version of Ryan against Russians who exist in a sort of Cold War vacuum and hate America as much as they hate the letter W. But this is a post-9/11 Jack Ryan as well, so those very same Russians also operate a sleeper terrorist cell bent on blowing up Manhattan with homemade bombs. The new Jack Ryan is a reboot and an origin story, wherein a collegeage Jack (Chris Pine, the go-to guy for college-age versions of iconic

heroes) heeds the call of duty when the Twin Towers go down. He first serves as a Marine and then becomes a brilliant analyst enlisted by the CIA to infiltrate Wall Street to discover who might be funding terror. Because this is a post-Bourne film, there’s some neck-punching paired with fights in bathrooms, motorcycle chases and aggressive Googling, with our hero pensively staring at a computer while his fingers fly. Pulling double duty as the film’s director and its slinky villain, a slumming Kenneth Branagh proves he can be more fun than his PBS pedigree lets on, yet Jack Ryan remains a pretty bland affair that’s cobbled together from bits and pieces of other, better films. pG-13. AP KRYZA. Avalon, Valley.

The Lego Movie

B+ In the Toy Story series, some of

the best scenes take place in a child ’s imagination. They’re tremendous action sequences, revealed to exist only in the mind of a child playing with toys. The Lego Movie stretches that idea to feature length, and the results are pretty incredible. 21 Jump Street and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have imagined a world of chaotic bliss. Using a combination of computer and stop-motion animation that keeps the herky-jerky laws of Lego physics in mind, The Lego Movie follows milquetoast construction worker Emmet (Chris Pratt) on a hero’s journey. Emmet is seen as the unwitting prophet who could end the reign of President Business (Will Farrell), a tyrant who believes all creations should be made exactly according to instructions. We follow Emmet as he teams with Lego allstars ranging from Batman to Shaq, who together attempt to keep imagination alive. The Lego Movie comes dangerously close to the pop culturesaturated Shrek model of comedy, but just when the film starts becoming too cute, the plot shifts into another nutso action sequence filled with clever sight gags. Naysayers will whine that it’s just an extended toy commercial. But for those of us who remember the limitlessness of our imaginations as we played with little plastic blocks, this is a joy to behold. pG. AP KRYZA. 99W Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Sandy.

Le Week-End

B There’s really nothing quite like

self-indulgent baby boomers in hate. Toward the beginning of Le WeekEnd, Meg (Lindsay Duncan), the blonder half of a long-married couple on vacation in Paris, offers this assessment of her relationship with her husband, Nick (Jim Broadbent): “It’s not love. It’s like being arrested.” And in many ways that’s a perfect description of this movie from director Roger Michell and screenwriter Hanif Kureishi. It’s like being caught in the panic room that is love on its deathbed—at least until Jeff Goldblum, in the form of Nick’s old friend Morgan, arrives and does what Jeff Goldblum does best (i.e., spew

C O U R T E S Y O F T R I B E C A F I L M F E S T I vA L

adaptations preoccupy themselves with knockoff magic and chaste vampires, The Hunger Games series instead caters to the “adult” part of the equation. Taking what initially seemed like a watered-down version of Battle Royale, it has created a sprawling and very grown-up world for young audiences. With Catching Fire, director Francis Lawrence further expands this post-apocalyptic universe where children are forced to slay one another in an annual gladiatorial event designed to tamp down discontent. This film finds heroine Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and her milquetoast co-champ Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) on a “victory tour” through a country where the rich bathe in luxury while the poor undergo flogging and execution in what resembles WWII-era Russia. Fearing Katniss will become a symbol

for a simmering rebellion, the president (Donald Sutherland) forces her back into the arena with even deadlier stakes. As with the first film, Catching Fire goes slightly flat once the actual Hunger Games commence. But in the lead-up to the most violent episode of Survivor imaginable, the director crafts a dense dystopia full of political allegory, media satire and other elements that most YA films consider their core audiences too dumb to handle. Though flawed, Catching Fire manages something no adaptation since Harry Potter has: It respects its fans enough to challenge them while maturing alongside them. pG-13. AP KRYZA. Indoor Twin.



le week-end slime and charm all over everyone). He also does what he can to salvage not only the movie but Nick and Meg’s marriage. He almost succeeds. r. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Fox Tower.

Lone Survivor

C Reading about the true events that inspired Lone Survivor brought a tear to my eye. Watching Peter Berg’s movie made me queasy. The film centers on 2005’s failed Operation Red Wings—a mission to remove a high-profile Taliban target in the mountains of Afghanistan that instead resulted in the death of 19 American soldiers—and it lionizes its heroes while utterly demonizing their enemies. Berg clearly has nothing but reverence for the armed forces, but that admiration renders him incapable of portraying anything dispassionately: Lone Survivor has little more nuance than the average recruitment poster. The film aims to show the soldiers’ personalities via their response to the dire situation—they’re vastly outnumbered, with malfunctioning communications equipment and nowhere to go. It’s a battleheavy approach that only occasionally works. We know these guys, played by Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Ben Foster and Emile Hirsch. They are tough and fiercely loyal to one another, but the characterization largely stops there. It’s a Passion of the Christ-like flogging in which Berg shows every graphic detail of the soldiers’ ordeal, but examines nothing of what made them so impressive in the first place. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Academy Theater.

Mistaken for Strangers

A- Tom Berninger is a familiar per-

sonality: He’s a 30-something with no plans to stop slacking off and partying, and he has the long metalhead locks and potbelly to prove it. Tom also happens to be the younger brother of Matt Berninger, lead singer for the National, who invites Tom on tour as a roadie. But Tom has his own plans. He intends to make a documentary of the experience, often at the expense of his actual duties. The result is a hilarious, half-baked rock doc, with Tom’s directions wisely uncut. (“This is good, this is gonna be perfect for your intro shot,” he says during one member’s intro shot.) Because he’s family, Tom’s awkward, spontaneous interview prompts— “Where do you see the band in 50 years?” or “You’re way more popular than any of my friends”—elicit honest reactions. Comparisons to This Is Spinal Tap are a bit farfetched, though. In Mistaken for Strangers, it’s the band members who are the professionals, while the director screams, “Hey, Moby!” towards the singer’s house while floating in an infinity pool. Though for brief moments it feels like watching amateur home video, Mistaken for Strangers is a comedic take on making a documentary and an honest take on brotherhood. MITCH LILLIE. Hollywood Theatre.

The Monuments Men

mistaken for strangers 48

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014

C+ The story of The Monuments Men is inspiring. During World War II, a squadron of older art scholars was dispatched to Europe in an

effort to protect art and other precious cultural artifacts from being destroyed by bombs, stolen by the Nazis or swiped by private collectors. It sounds like incredible fodder for a film, especially with George Clooney in front of and behind the camera, and a dream cast that includes Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bill Murray and Jean Dujardin. Alas, what could have been a weird cross between Inglourious Basterds and Ocean’s Eleven turns out to be a bit of a slog. A beautiful slog, sure, with its glorious images of European architecture, painting and sculpture, but a slog nonetheless. Much of the dullness comes from an episodic story line that requires these great performers to spend most of the film apart, contemplating in voice-over whether art is worth the ultimate sacrifice and pontificating about the righteousness of their cause. The performances are great and the views are stunning, but The Monuments Men still comes off more as a sermon than an entertaining piece of art unto itself. pG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Clackamas.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Two Rocky & Bullwinkle characters—a hyperintelligent beagle and a 7-yearold boy—take some trips in a time machine. pG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Muppets Most Wanted

B While technically the eighth Muppet movie—or, as the first song smartly explains, the seventh sequel— new release Muppets Most Wanted probably won’t be judged against the grosses of Muppet Treasure Island. For better or worse, the overwhelming success of 2011’s The Muppets provided Disney a reboot blueprint: Stay with what works and remember who we’re here to see. So, of course, Kermit is replaced by a Russian doppelgänger, we visit the grand concert halls of Europe, and Tina Fey and Ricky Gervais are given extended solo dance routines. While awful choices abound, the Muppets reflexively generate so much unsinkable goodwill that even the laziest of plots still charms—and might even be welcome, given the ’70s-meets-art deco visual aesthetic and escalating cameo bombs. Whatever the failings of the human leads, every gulag needs Ray Liotta, Danny Trejo and Josh Groban. Every wedding needs “the” Usher. Every Miss Piggy-Celine Dion duet needs an Academy Award. Fey and Gervais are not, however, singers, and neither are they actors in any traditional sense. Rather than embodying a role, they organize their most relevant tics, telegraph their amateur efforts to the audience and presumably depend upon natural presence and timing to carry a scene, which tends to fail disastrously when the co-star cannot wink. It actually is easy being green-screened. Comedy with puppets is hard. pG. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Roseway, Sandy.

Need for Speed

C When a car-chase flick opens with its main characters watch-



Maybe you’ve heard this story about a giant fl ood and some animals on a boat. Russell Crowe apparently got the pope’s blessing for the movie, but the studio doesn’t seem to have the same level of faith— Noah didn’t screen for Portland critics . PG-13 . Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.


B It’s been about six years since Liam Neeson stopped campaigning for golden statuettes of bald men and started slugging bald foreign men with gold teeth, and Non-Stop marks the eighth fi lm in which this classical actor-turned-rugged elder statesman of action has been consumed by neck-punching. It’s also the most colossally stupid fi lm of his latter-day crusade against other men’s throats. And as such, Non-Stop is entertaining as all hell. Neeson stars as air marshal Bill Marks, an alcoholic with a dead daughter who, a few drinks into his day, boards a fl ight that’s doomed for a fate only fl ights containing Liam Neeson can know. He gets a text from an unknown number saying that a passenger will be killed every 20 minutes unless the hijacker receives $150 million. All of the above sounds pretty stupid, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as the movie itself. And yet director Jaume Collet-Serra—who directed Neeson’s fi sts in Unknown and helmed the awesomely stupid Orphan —has some slick tricks up his sleeve. The fi lm seems like a parody of itself, balancing claustrophobic tension and action like a slack-jawed Hitchcock homage. Neeson knows how ridiculous this shit is, and so does his director. This is trash cinema taken to wonderfully dumb heights . PG-13 . AP KRYZA . Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, St. Johns.

The Nut Job

Animated squirrels plan a heist of a nut store. Parents, try to keep the dick jokes to a minimum . PG . Avalon, Edgefi eld, Milwaukie.


C- The hardest part about watching Philomena, a fi lm based on the true story of an Irish woman’s search for the son she gave up for adoption 50 years previous, is accepting the amazing Judi Dench as a bumbling simpleton in the title role. “We don’t have


ing the Steve McQueen classic Bullitt, it had better deliver the goods. Luckily, Need for Speed makes good on its promise of high-octane spectacle, putting Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul in the driver’s seat of a tricked-out Mustang. He’s undertaking a 240mph, cross-country quest to beat his douchebag rival (Dominic Cooper) in an illegal street race. The fi lm off ers up a steady stream of revving engines and amazing stunts—largely executed without computer assistance—that would do McQueen proud. Unfortunately, director Scott Waugh is also saddled with telling a story, which is a dubious task for a fi lm based on a wildly popular series of video games with no plot. Screenwriter George Gatins comes up with the simplest excuse possible to crash cars—it’s a standard honor and revenge narrative—but at 130 minutes, the fi lm runs out of gas just when the third act kicks in. Paul, henceforth to be known as Aaron Paul Walker, glowers eff ectively enough behind the wheel as logic and physics are gleefully ignored. Need for Speed could have been a great little B-movie throwback if it knew where to slam on the brakes. Instead, it blows a fl at about 90 minutes in and idles to the fi nish line . PG-13 . AP KRYZA . Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy.


HUNGRY FOR LOVE: Ritesh Batra’s The Lunchbox is set in Mumbai, where a fraternity of 5,000 men, the dabbawallas, have been delivering hot lunches from the city’s housewives to their businessman husbands for the past 120 years. According to a Harvard study, only one in a million Mumbai lunches is delivered to the wrong person. The Lunchbox tells the story of one such unlikely lunchbox and the even more unlikely bond that forms between an unhappy stay-at-home mother, Ila (the irresistible Nimrat Kaur), and Sajaan, a widower accountant on the verge of retirement. Sajaan, played by veteran Bollywood star Irrfan Khan, receives the lunchbox intended for Ila’s husband, and a sweet and thoughtful exchange of notes begins. Food, of course, plays an important role. At the beginning of the film, Ila is learning to cook in order to spark her husband’s dampened interest, but because of the mixup with the lunchbox, her food ends up providing Sajaan with what he needs most at this point in his life: something to look forward to. Batra allows Ila and Sajaan’s relationship to develop slowly and subtly, like an old photograph, and the tender humor (much of it courtesy of Nawazuddin Siddiqui as Shaikh, Sajaan’s orphaned protégé) adds exactly the right amount of spice to what is already a delicious mix of melancholy and hope. DEBORAH KENNEDY. A

SEE IT: The Lunchbox is rated PG. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Mexicans in England—we have Indians,” she excitedly explains to the Mexican-American cooks. If you can get over Dench as Grandma Goof—a role she plays as best she can—then Philomena stands on its own two feet. One of those feet is the enthralling, often emotional storyline. Philomena and Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan), a political journalist who’s taken on his fi rst human-interest story, uncover secrets both cloistered in the nunnery where Philomena’s child was born and spread across America, where her son was taken as a child. Unfortunately, the other foot is the waiter-my-soup humor that Fawlty Towers made irrelevant four decades ago. A stuff y Martin plays off the oblivious Philomena and vice versa. After suggesting that Martin not print her real name in the story, Philomena asks, “What about Anne…Anne Boleyn? It’s a lovely name!” After the fi lm ends, it’s Philomena’s story that sticks. Director Stephen Frears and company should be given credit only for staying out of the real Philomena’s way. PG-13 . MITCH LILLIE . Fox Tower, Liberty Theatre.


Will the slave-turned-gladiator save his betrothed as Mount Vesuvius erupts and Pompeii crumbles? Ain’t nothing like love against a backdrop of lava. PG-13 . Kennedy School.


Don’t want Russell Crowe on a boat? How about Arnie—as in the Governator—as the head of an elite DEA squad? He’s got a mean neck tatt . R . Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Sherwood,

Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Southern Baptist Sissies


2000, Texas-born scribe Del Shores (Sordid Lives) wrote a play about four homosexual boys growing up in a Southern Baptist church and the often tragic results religious bigotry can have for gay kids. It went on to win a GLAAD award and was staged by many local theater companies. In 2012, Shores raised more than $100,000 in a crowdfunding campaign to record a live performance of the play and release it as a fi lm. Now in 2014, that fi lm is hitting screens across the country. This would be a lovely story but for two things: One, theater on fi lm almost invariably sucks, and two, this play isn’t really that good to begin with. It has its moments—the boys’ stories feel true to life, there’s some nice singing, and of course the story has a Very Important Message. But the cast is inconsistent (ranging from the fantastic Leslie Jordan to William Belli, whom you may remember from season four of RuPaul’s Drag Race), the jokes are dated and hammy, the dialogue is overwrought, and it simply goes on way too long. It probably packs more emotional punch in person, but onscreen, it’s like a low-budget sitcom. If you really want to see Southern Baptist Sissies , wait until one of Portland ’s community theaters puts it on—at least then you’ll get an intermission . RUTH BROWN . Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm FridaySunday, March 28-30.

CONT. on page 50 Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014




Stranger by the Lake


B+ Hitchcock by way of Cruising,

Stranger by the Lake is a murder mystery set at a hot spot for homosexual trysts. We know the killer’s identity, but we’re drawn in anyway, which puts us in a situation similar to that of the protagonist, Franck. He’s a young man who witnesses another man drowning his lover and then begins a sexual relationship with the murderer because, well, the heart wants what the heart wants. Alain Guiraudie won Best Director in the Un Certain Regard section at Cannes last year, and he deserves it just for the last scene, which is as awash in dread and dark beauty as any sequence in recent memory. MICHAEL NORDINE . Living Room Theaters.

Tim’s Vermeer

B- In this documentary from Penn and Teller (yes, that Penn and Teller), an inventor of high-tech computer equipment named Tim Jenson sets out to re-create the painting The Music Lesson by 16thcentury Dutch master Johannes Vermeer. The music is lovely, as are the glimpses of Vermeer’s work, but there’s something missing. Even at the conclusion of Jenson’s experiment, it’s not completely clear whether Vermeer had the help of a camera obscura when painting his masterpieces. What is crystal clear is that Jenson has too much time and money on his hands. Otherwise, why would he devote five years of his life to what is, in the end, (a) an extended version of MythBusters and (b) a hyped-up game of paintby-numbers? DEBORAH KENNEDY. Living Room Theaters.

Veronica Mars

After a Kickstarter campaign that made headlines—backers contributed $5.7 million—the movie adaptation of the cult-favorite TV show is being rolled out across the country. Onetime amateur sleuth Veronica is about to graduate from law school when she learns her ex-boyfriend has been accused of murder, so she fl ies back home, just in time for her 10-year highschool reunion . PG-13 . Living Room Theaters.

The Wolf of Wall Street

A Martin Scorsese’s best picture

since Goodfellas and his fi fth with Leonardo DiCaprio is at once hilarious, terrifying, hallucinogenic, infuriating, awe-inspiring, meandering and, at three hours, utterly exhausting. It’s also (in this critic’s opinion) the best movie of 2014, possibly DiCaprio’s fi nest work and the bitch slap that Wall Street deserves—even if the true but ludicrous story of fi nancial criminal, stock-market juggernaut and rampant drug addict Jordan Belfort could inspire others to aspire to his level of douchebaggery. This is a man who makes Gordon Gecko seem like Mother Teresa. With his buddies, he runs roughshod over the fi nancial well-being of rich and poor alike and creates for himself a world of drug-addled debauchery that makes Hunter S. Thompson’s escapades seem like a college freshman’s. Some may scoff at the runtime, or at the fi lm’s episodic look into Belfort’s debauchery, but both just serve to further pummel you into submission as our “hero” glides through a privileged life with a steady diet of Quaaludes, cocaine, hookers, alcohol, sushi and hubris. Every moment counts. Every scene is frontloaded with hysterics and backloaded with dread. It is a modern masterpiece of excess, style and lunacy. R . AP KRYZA . Academy Theater, Avalon, Edgefi eld, Kennedy School, Valley, Laurelhurst Theater.

PAGE 51 50

Willamette Week MARCH 26, 2014


Editor’s Note: Last week, columnist AP Kryza disappeared, leaving only a garbed voicemail. His Castles, clowns and JeanClaude Van Damme: This week whereabouts remain unknown. We did, however, receive a cryptic at Portland’s indie theaters. note—delivered by a bowtiewearing Shiba Inu—containing illustrations of Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in various Kamasutra positions, a poorly edited short story about Babe the pig, a single lock of lustrous hair, and lots of snickerdoodle crumbs. In light of this, we’ve again called on Deborah Kennedy for information about what’s playing in Portland’s repertory theaters. Screening as part of the Reel Feminism series, Maria in Nobody’s Land delves into the real-life trials of three Salvadoran women, who flee their country for the U.S. in search of a better life. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, March 26. The Hayao Miyazaki lovefest (i.e., the Classics From Studio Ghibli series) continues at the NW Film Center with showings of the lesserknown Castle in the Sky (7 pm Thursday, March 27), and the more popular Howl’s Moving Castle (4:30 pm Saturday, March 29). Both involve castles. Both are breathtaking. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. The problem with being Kurt Russell is, sometimes you’re called upon to save your best friend’s emerald-eyed fiance from an immortal sorcerer who wants nothing more than to marry a girl with green eyes so he can again achieve bodily form. It’s a tough job, but in Big Trouble in Little China, Kurt does it, and all with the help of Kim Cattrall. Laurelhurst Theater. March 28-April 3. Having spent years in his father’s traveling circus, Benjamin has one question in Selton Melo’s award-winning dramedy The Clown (O Palhaco): “Who’s going to make me laugh?” Everyone knows the tears of a clown leave the longest tracks. They can also make for one helluva moving movie. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Friday, March 28. As part of the NW Film Center’s Forever Burt series, Lancaster and his trademark grin show up in three classics: The Swimmer, a 1968 film based on a John Cheever short story about one man’s poolto-pool journey across his largely disappointing life (7 pm FridaySaturday, March 28-29); The Crimson Pirate (4:30 pm Sunday, March 30), one of Lancaster’s many swashbucklers, about a band of freebooters bent on stopping the progress of the British navy; and Atlantic City (7 pm Sunday, March 30), Louis Malle’s latter-day film noir in which Lancaster plays Lou, a middle-aged small-timer who gets a second lease on life and crime thanks to a young Susan Sarandon. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Jean-Claude Van Damme almost broke the Internet last year with his whole “splits from two moving Volvo trucks” stunt (all set to Enya, no less), but you ain’t seen nothing if you’ve yet to watch Street Fighter, a mid-’90s martial-arts cult classic in which Van Damme, as Col. William F. (U.) Guile, is tasked with saving the world from the likes of dictator Gen. M. Bison (Raul Julia). Co-starring Kylie “Sexercize” Minogue as Lt. Cammy. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 29. What do telephone booths, George Carlin and Napoleon’s lackluster bowling game all have in common? The answer is, of course, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, a stoner comedy sans the weed but full of Keanu Reeves, fascinating historical tidbits and other such bogus things. Party on, dudes. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Monday, March 31. What remains to be said about the genius that is Space Jam, a film that pits Michael Jordan and the heroes of Looney Tunes against scheming amusement park owner Swackhammer, and ends with the best outer space basketball tournament/triumph of the cartoon spirit ever known to Moron Mountain? Nothing? OK. Clinton Street Theater. 3 and 7 pm Tuesday, 3 and 9 pm Wednesday, April 1-2.



C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

Wed 01:00, 09:35 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:30

Living Room Theaters

BE LIKE MIKE: Space Jam plays April 1-6 at the Clinton Street Theater.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. NOAH: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 04:05, 07:20, 10:35 NOAH FriSat-Sun-Mon 12:10, 03:25, 06:45, 10:00 SABOTAGE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 01:00, 03:55, 07:35, 10:20 CESAR CHAVEZ Fri-Sat-SunMon 03:40, 07:00, 09:45 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:30, 01:10, 03:35, 04:30, 06:30, 07:15, 09:25, 10:05 DIVERGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon 12:05, 12:35, 03:20, 03:50, 06:35, 07:05, 09:55, 10:25 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:20, 03:10, 06:50, 09:50 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun-Mon 12:00, 02:30, 05:05, 07:45, 10:15

Regal Division Street Stadium 13 16603 SE Division St. NOAH Fri 11:45, 03:00, 06:45, 10:00 CESAR CHAVEZ Fri 11:50, 02:20, 07:20, 09:50 SABOTAGE Fri 11:30, 02:10, 05:00, 07:40, 10:20

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:15, 09:15 THE NUT JOB Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 02:10, 03:50, 05:30 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:05 FROZEN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:05, 03:05, 05:05, 07:05

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 DIVERGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:45, 07:40, 10:45

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 04:45, 07:30, 09:45 NYMPHOMANIAC Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:15, 04:30, 07:00, 07:15, 09:30, 09:45

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 OTTO IS A RHINO Fri 12:00 A BIRDER’S GUIDE TO EVERYTHING FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 07:00 SOUTHERN BAPTIST SISSIES Fri-SatSun 07:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 11:59 SPACE JAM TueWed 03:00, 09:00

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:15

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 DIVERGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:55 NON-STOP Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:45, 08:20

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri 11:10, 01:55, 04:30, 07:25, 10:10 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri 12:15, 03:00, 05:40, 08:35 SON OF GOD Fri 12:10, 03:30, 06:50, 10:05 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:15, 10:00 THE LEGO MOVIE 3D Fri 12:25, 03:15, 05:55, 08:30 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri 11:40, 02:20, 05:05, 07:35, 10:20 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri 11:00, 01:40, 04:20, 07:00, 09:40 NEED FOR SPEED Fri 03:40, 10:05 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri 12:30, 06:55 NON-STOP Fri 11:20, 02:05, 04:45, 07:30, 10:15 DIVERGENT Fri 11:00, 12:15, 02:15, 03:45, 05:30, 07:05, 08:50, 10:30 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri 11:15, 02:10, 05:00, 07:45, 10:30 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Fri 11:20, 02:00, 04:45, 07:20, 10:00 NOAH Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15 SABOTAGE Fri 11:10, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:25

Edgefield Powerstation Theater

2126 SW Halsey St., 503-249-7474-2 THE NUT JOB Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 06:00 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:00

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 FROZEN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonWed 05:30 POMPEII FriSat-Sun-Mon-Wed 08:00 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 08:00 HER Tue-Wed 02:30

Empirical Theatre at OMSI 1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 GREAT WHITE SHARK

Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 04:00 FLIGHT OF THE BUTTERFLIES 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:00 MYSTERIES OF THE UNSEEN WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 03:00 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 FROZEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00 SEA MONSTERS 3D: A PREHISTORIC ADVENTURE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 NYMPHOMANIAC: VOLUME I Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:15 AMERICAN HUSTLE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:10 GRAVITY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:40 MISTAKEN FOR STRANGERS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:45 GOLDFRAPP: TALES OF US Sat 02:00 STREET FIGHTER IN HECKLEVISION Sat 07:30 POLLY: THE MYSTERY OF BONNEY’S CANYON Sat 04:30 THE CLOWN Sat 07:00 ON THE ICE Sun 07:00 BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE Mon 07:00 COLLISION COURSE Tue 07:30 WILD THINGS Wed 07:30

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 THE SWIMMER Fri-Sat-Sun 07:00 HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE Sat 04:30 THE CRIMSON PIRATE Sun 04:30 ATLANTIC CITY Sun 07:00 ICH HUNGER

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 FROZEN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 06:30 AMERICAN HUSTLE FriSat-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 THE WALKING DEAD Sun 06:00, 08:00

Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 ELAINE STRITCH: SHOOT ME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:00, 04:00, 05:50, 07:45 ENEMY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:40, 05:00, 07:15, 09:40 GRAVITY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:00, 09:45 HER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 04:20, 07:00, 09:35 STRANGER BY THE LAKE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:20, 04:10, 07:30, 09:25 TIM’S VERMEER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 04:50, 06:20, 08:10, 09:55 VERONICA MARS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:30, 05:10, 06:50, 09:10

Century Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 01:45, 04:35, 07:20, 10:05 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:45, 10:25 THE MONUMENTS MEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:15 SON OF GOD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:50 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 04:25, 09:55 THE LEGO MOVIE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 07:10 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 01:50, 04:30, 07:05, 09:40 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:40, 05:10 NEED FOR SPEED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:40, 06:50, 10:00 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 10:55, 04:40, 10:30 3 DAYS TO KILL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:55, 07:40 NON-STOP Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:40, 02:25, 05:05, 07:50, 10:35 DIVERGENT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 11:50, 12:35, 02:15, 03:05, 03:55, 05:30, 06:30, 07:15, 08:50, 09:50, 10:30 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:55, 12:20, 01:40, 03:10, 04:35, 06:05, 07:30, 09:00, 10:20 BAD WORDS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:00, 05:35, 08:00, 10:25 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 02:20, 04:55, 07:30, 10:05 GOD’S NOT DEAD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:35 NOAH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:20, 02:30, 05:40, 08:55 SABOTAGE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:10, 01:55, 04:40, 07:25, 10:10 CESAR CHAVEZ Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:10, 04:55, 07:35, 10:15 THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00

7329 SW Bridgeport Road NOAH: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-SunMon 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15 NOAH Fri-Sat-SunMon 01:00, 04:15, 07:30, 09:45 CESAR CHAVEZ Fri-Sat-Sun 11:45, 05:05, 07:45, 10:25 SABOTAGE Fri-Sat-Sun 01:15, 04:30, 07:15, 10:00 BAD WORDS Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:00, 05:30, 08:00, 10:30

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 HER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:50, 07:00 LONE SURVIVOR Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:50, 09:50 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:20, 09:00 FROZEN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:00, 04:20, 06:40 THE GREAT BEAUTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-


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503-445-2757 • ©2014 Rob Brezsny

Week of March 27


ARIES (March 21-April 19): I have coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. It’s “zex,” short for “zen sex.” Zex is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thoughts. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You are completely detached from the sensual pleasure you are experiencing. You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you right now, Aries. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Zex may be fine to practice at any other time, but not these days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive, and even zany. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In Somalia, there’s a law that forbids you from putting your used chewing gum on your nose and walking around in public. Fortunately, you don’t live there, so it’s fine if you want to do that. In fact, I encourage you to go right ahead. To do so would be right in alignment with the cosmic omens. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You should definitely not take yourself too seriously this week; you should look for opportunities to playfully lose your dignity and razz the status quo. But there are craftier ways to do that than by sticking gum on your nose. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Tata Massage is a salon in San Francisco that provides an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. The Thai masseuse named Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does “massage boxing,” in which she administers health-giving punches to your body with her fists. Is there a comparable service available where you live? I highly recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the truth: You should be absolutely firm that you won’t tolerate whacks and wallops -- including the psychological kind -- even if they are supposedly good for you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now would be an excellent time to launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing that will last for a thousand years. I’m talking about an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will improve the lives of countless humans all over the planet for the next 40 generations. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit. Producing something that will last a thousand years is too ambitious. How about if you simply launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or create a beautiful thing that will last for the rest of your long life -- an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will continue to teach and amuse you all along the way? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your patron saint for the next three months is surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. Regard him as your muse and role model. In fact, you might want to spout some of his famous declarations as if they were your own. Start with these: 1. “The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.” 2. “I do not take drugs; I am drugs.” 3. “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature.” 4. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. Salvador Dali is your patron saint, role model, and muse for only the next 14 days, not three months. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know how Jesus could supposedly turn water into wine? Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary for an even greater miracle. When visitors came to her monastery in Kildare, she changed her old bathwater into beer for them to drink. I think there’s a good chance you will develop that precise talent sometime soon. APRIL FOOL! I kind of lied. You won’t really possess St. Brigit’s supernatural power. However, you will have an uncanny ability to make transmutations that are almost as dramatic as changing bathwater to beer. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The band Rush was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson delivered an unusual acceptance speech. For the two minutes he spoke, he repeated one word endlessly: “blah.” “Blah-blah-blah,” he began. “Blah-blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah.” Many hand gestures and shifting vocal inflections accompanied his rap, always in support of variations on “blah-blah.”

This is the spirit you should bring to all of your important conversations in the coming week. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s crucial for you to speak very precisely and articulately in the coming week. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t rely on meaningless bullshit like “blah-blah.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the very first body part that appears is -- can you guess? -- the anus. This scientific fact led the witty commentators at to declare that “Every human being starts out as an asshole.” They were making a joke, of course, hinting that every one of us has an unattractive quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you now have an unprecedented chance to transform the assh--- aspects of your personality. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not an assh---, not even a little bit. But it is true that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to try to fix or at least modulate your least attractive qualities. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): To be in strict compliance with cosmic necessity, you should attend a party every day in the coming week. Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly, and expose yourself to previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a wide variety of food and drink that introduces you to novel tastes. Make sure you experience record levels of sensual enjoyment, nonstop excitement, and dynamic socializing. APRIL FOOL! I’m exaggerating, although just a little. Try doing a 70-percent version of what I advised.

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Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp related exp and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro. We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.





CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): has a step-by-step guide to set up your home as a command center where you can pursue your plans for world domination. The article provides advice on how to build a surveillance system, encrypt your computer files, and prepare for black-outs and weather emergencies. Do it, Capricorn! Get the lowdown at secretlair. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You don’t really need to create a high-tech fortress. But you would be wise to make your home into more of an ultra-comfortable, super-inspiring sanctuary -- a place where you feel so safe and strong and smart that you will always have total power over yourself, and never feel driven to fulfill anyone else’s standards of success but your own. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The planetary omens suggest that you need to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. Here’s the problem: The place where you live offers only a limited range. That’s why I urge you to drop everything and travel to Japan, which is the world leader in Dorito variety. There you can sample coconut curry-flavored Doritos, along with fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise, and many others. Buy your plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations and experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to a survey by Public Policy Polling, four percent of the population believes that “shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies.” My own research suggests that 62 percent of those believers are Pisceans. Are you one? If so, now is a good time to intensify your fight against the shape-shifting reptilian people. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I strongly encourage you NOT to feed your paranoid delusions and fearful reveries. This should be a time when you bolster your positive fantasies, constructive visions, and inspiring dreams.

Homework Describe what you’d be like if you were the opposite of yourself. Write

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devoted to Irving Berlin? 60 Kudrow who’s among “Friends” 61 Barbershop offering 62 “Casablanca” character 63 Rapper/actor who turned 56 in February 64 One-on-one student 65 Insulting remark 66 Have the moxie 67 Keep goal in hockey 68 “Lights out” music

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Across 1 Item with a pole position? 5 Suffix meaning “followers of” 9 Like cartoonists’ hands 13 Candy rack cylinder 14 Big picture? 16 Questionnaire box 17 NYSE newsmakers 18 Nimble 19 Lemon candy 20 Unappealing

theme restaurant based on a hit CGI movie? 23 Ancient Mexican pyramid builder 24 Try with the shirt again 25 Hot pants wearer, so to speak? 27 Looking over 30 Total 33 Org. with many conferences 35 “___ Flux” 37 Unappealing theme restaurant

devoted to Hans Christian Andersen? 42 Circumstance’s partner 43 Opposed to 44 Role for Keanu 45 Chinese cuisine style 49 “Hair” producer Joseph ___ 51 “Mercy me!” 53 Like the wars between Carthage and Rome 57 Unappealing theme restaurant

Down 1 Painter Kahlo 2 Urban partner on TV? 3 “It’s ___ cause” 4 Mahalia Jackson’s genre 5 Apple product 6 Leonard or Robinson 7 Erie or Huron 8 ___ Mae (college money provider) 9 Unwilling to face reality 10 Screenwriter Ephron 11 Stomach tightness 12 “Got that right” 15 A little suspicious 21 Bake sale topping

22 Barney’s bartender 26 Oft-injured knee part, briefly 28 Kurt denial? 29 Outta here 30 “The Racer’s Edge” sloganeer 31 “Whoops!” 32 Inbox item 34 Nabokov novel 36 Doctors Without Borders, e.g. 38 Current 39 Yet to be confirmed 40 Kingston Trio hit 41 Kate Middleton’s sister 46 Some degree of success? 47 Praiseful poet 48 Drill sergeant’s command 50 Not one to try new ideas 52 Marble type 54 ___ Wafers 55 “___ to you!” 56 Former rulers 57 Typography unit 58 Wi-fi seeker 59 Have to have 60 Box top last week’s answers

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40 21 willamette week, march 26, 2014  
40 21 willamette week, march 26, 2014