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the funniest

Meet Portland’s best standup comics, as chosen by their peers. p. 14

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BONERMOBILE: A look inside Twitter celebrity Karl Welzein’s tour van. Page 25.
















Downtown: Burnside & SW 11th Ave Hawthorne District: SE 37th Ave north of Hawthorne #iFoundThisAtBX

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Ramona DeNies, Ravleen Kaur, Alex Tomchak Scott

CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, Nina Lary, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Enid Spitz, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Kathleen Marie Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Xel Moore, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Jerek Hollender, Kayla Nguyen ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Ginger Craft, Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Carrie Henderson Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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Thank you for this article [“Flunk Factories,” WW, Nov. 13, 2013]. I agree with School Board member Tom Koehler that Portland Public Schools’ evaluation of management is slack. If you are breathing and know how to hide problems, you’ll continue to collect a paycheck at [district headquarters]. Poor administration and no oversight are ruining our schools. The School Board is breaching its duty of care to PPS by failing to supervise and manage Superintendent Carole Smith. For her part, Smith has failed to manage her staff. Incompetence is glaring at her, and she looks the other way and asks her political consultant to deal with it for her: “Please return with candy for me and the board to happily suck on.” Like a good boy, he does. —“KimS” I have spent time at several of the communitybased alternative high schools mentioned in the article, and I advocate for kids who end up there. These kids get a sense of belonging and understanding they are not able to get in our standard high schools. And they often get more creative ways of learning. Simply throwing them back into environments run by the district that further marginalize them would be irresponsible and retraumatizing. —“Dana Brenner-Kelley”


If Charlie Hales were smart, he would pick up the phone and get the paving and sidewalk crews out there today [“127th and Hales,” WW, Nov. 13, 2013]. Then he would go out and check the progress and make sure it gets done. It’s small stuff that counts. Come on, Charlie, for once be smart. Just do it. —“Irving Berliner” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email:

The most inventive Oregonian? Probably Douglas Engelbart, who invented the computer mouse. Frances Gabe patented the self-cleaning house in 1984. And Henry Phillips invented—wait for it—the Phillips screw in the 1930s. —Brett Stern, author of Inventors at Work

to journalism: When you have to eat shit, don’t nibble. I could nickel-and-dime you about how, technically, Henry Phillips bought the patent for his self-centering screw from the forgotten real inventor, John P. Thompson. But then, Thompson was a Portlander, too. The truth is, I forgot about the Phillips screw. Yum, delicious poo. Engelbart’s contributions to computing history are legion; however, I elected to skip them because they’re too complex for a 300-word column. I also omitted Frances Gabe’s remarkable invention—it never caught on, and in any case, if you look at the videos available online you’ll see there’s a very, very fine line between “selfcleaning house” and “live-in dishwasher.” However, I certainly should have included Tim Leatherman’s eponymous multitool. Most glaringly, it was inexcusable not to mention the locally invented View-Master stereoscopic viewer, which for decades offered Portlanders their only opportunity to see a 3-D representation of what direct sunlight might look like.

Sadly, the Phillips screwdriver wasn’t invented until 1967, forcing a generation of tinkerers to tighten the new screws with butter knives or an especially pointy key. But seriously, folks: In last week’s column, I said famous inventions from Oregon were a bit thin on the ground. Mistake! Within minutes, the readers were revolting (a lot of ’em were ugly, too), massing with pitchforks and torches to tell me just how wrong I was. I haven’t been called out this hard since an unfortunate rounding error led me to assert that Abraham Lincoln was a member of New Kids on the Block. There’s a saying in politics that also applies Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

Three guys were squatting in an abandoned house. Cops rousted them out. And other than the house remaining vacant, that was pretty much the end of that. Yet WW sees fit to go the busted route, and all the mindless lemmings predictably pile right on, as if there were something they actually needed to be worried about. —“Damos Abadon”


Leaving a house unsecured for squatters to flop in is irresponsible of the banksters [“Haunted House,” WW, Nov. 13, 2013]. The bank that


foreclosed should be routinely billed by the city for security issues for criminal activity being conducted on the property. It should be part of crime-enforcement legislation. Justin Dollard might have to take things into his own hands by boarding up the house and locking all the doors to deter squatters. Barring that, he should just keep calling the police. The criminals who flopped there (including one sex offender) are a danger to the community. —“catd1”

QUESTIONS? Send them to

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


REAL ESTATE: Sweet deals on school property. EDUCATION: Why a teachers’ strike looms for Portland schools. ETHICS: A county official runs his business on public time. COVER STORY: The Funniest 5, Portland’s top comics.


Ernest Hemingway

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Nicole Miller

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The sponsor of a Portland benefit concert in May that featured Stevie Wonder is accusing a restaurant owner of selling tickets to the $500-a-plate event on the side and keeping the profits. According to a lawsuit filed Nov. 13 in Multnomah County Circuit Court, Project Clean Slate, the charity that put on the event, says Frank Taylor, who owns the Quartet restaurant, charged $63,000 for Wonder’s appearance fee and Quartet’s hosting expenses. The lawsuit alleges Taylor broke the agreement by selling reservations independently without passing the profits on to Project Clean Slate (which helps people expunge minor convictions). The nonprofit is seeking $10,000 in reimbursement. Taylor’s attorney, Brian Chenoweth, denied the accusations and said Taylor will fight the suit.

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Portland-based Alta Bike Share has had a d efl ating week. As reported on, the company is in danger of losing a $6 million contract in Vancouver, B.C. That’s because Alta’s Canadian partner, Bixi, which supplies bicycles and racks that Alta manages in eight cities, is “imminently insolvent,” according to The Province newspaper in Vancouver. Those financial woes are a warning to PortBIRK land transportation officials, who have been mulling a plan to loan Alta as much as $4.6 million to help with startup costs for a local bike-share system until it finds corporate sponsors (“The Big Bike Bailout,” WW, Aug. 14, 2013). Alta Bike Share vice president Mia Birk says Bixi’s troubles won’t stop Portland bike share from launching next year. “We have no plans to change suppliers from the team we originally proposed to the city,” Birk tells WW. The victories keep coming for Trail Blazers fans. When the team, on a seven-game winning streak, returns to the Rose Quarter on Nov. 22, fans will be greeted with free tacos. Korean taco-truck chain Koi Fusion says it will honor the Blazers’ new McMuffin promotion by accepting the McDonald’s coupons at its 15 taco stands. The ghost of the chalupa is appeased. Gov. John Kitzhaber has raised $240,000 for a 2014 re-election campaign but still hasn’t said if he’s running. His senior staff, however, is moving on. Chief of staff Curtis Robinhold is leaving for the Port of Portland; health-care adviser Mike Bonetto will replace him. Spokesman Tim Raphael is joining Seattle lobbying firm Strategies 360. As Kitzhaber looks for staff on health care and the media, he still needs someone on schools, after his top education adviser, Ben Cannon, joined the Higher Education Coordinating Council. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



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One well-connected nonprofit has landed two Portland schools properties at prices hundreds of thousands of dollars below appraised values. The deals that benefited the Native American Youth and Family Association, or NAYA, came despite the school district’s reluctance in the past 15 years to sell surplus property. NAYA runs one of the district’s community-based alternative high-school programs that were the focus of WW’s cover story last week on graduation rates in the Portland Public Schools (“Flunk Factories,” WW, Nov. 13, 2013). WW reported that PPS is sinking millions into expensive alternative programs, contrary to the practice of other comparable districts. A PPS audit in August found those peer districts have far higher gradua-

tion rates than Portland’s despite spending far less per student. Meanwhile, critics say that NAYA is working increasingly closely with PPS. “NAYA’s contracts with the district have gone from next to nothing to nearly a million dollars a year,” says Teresa McGuire of Restore Education Before Buildings, a watchdog group that opposed the district’s capital bond issues in 2011 and 2012. “They’ve gotten what looks like two wonderful real-estate deals, one when their executive director was on the School Board. Is that an ethical way for the board to treat taxpayers?” NAYA currently receives $688,000 a year from PPS to operate its high school and also has PPS contracts for parent involvement and early childhood education. Matt Morton, NAYA’s director, who was elected to the School Board in 2010, says he has been fully transparent about potential conflicts of interest between his organization and the school district. “The conflicts are known and out there,” Morton says. He notes that NAYA purchased its headquarters from the district before he joined the organization and

signed all its contracts with PPS before he joined the School Board. But the transactions raise questions whether the perennially cash-strapped district is treating all potential buyers equally and whether it is being financially prudent. Bob Alexander, the district’s director of planning and asset management, says NAYA got no special treatment. “There’s no attempt to help NAYA at the expense of anyone else,” Alexander says. “Their needs coincide with what we’re trying to do as a district.” PPS has long held a large portfolio of underused real estate since enrollment in the district has shrunk from 80,000 students in the mid-’60s to about 48,000 today. Despite owning nine vacant schools and four empty administration buildings, PPS has been reluctant to part with them. A comprehensive audit highlighted the district’s surplus real estate 15 years ago. “PPS is maintaining a large number of old and underused facilities,” the accounting firm KPMG found in 1998. Last month, the district finally closed a $2 million deal to sell the former Washington High School at Southeast 12th Avenue and Stark Street—32 years after the building served its last student. PPS has leased some of its surplus properties at market rates—to the Riverdale School District for its high school in Southwest and to De La Salle North Catholic High School in North Portland, for instance—but other potential tenants

or buyers say they have found it difficult to do business with the district. Portland Village School, the district’s largest charter school, with 395 students, is bursting out of the church-owned property it leases in North Portland. Charters, such as Portland Village, educate public-school students with public dollars. In some states, school districts make their publicly owned surplus real estate available for charter use. PPS does not. Portland Village supporters say the school pursued buying at least three different mothballed PPS elementary-school buildings—Clarendon and Applegate in North Portland and Foster in outer Southeast—without success. Alexander says the availability of PPS surplus property and the needs of charter schools have not lined up. Diane Garrett, a former member of Village School’s site committee, said district officials resisted selling the surplus buildings to the point it was no longer worth the charter school’s efforts to pursue a deal. “The school became discouraged by PPS’s response,” Garrett says, “and essentially gave up.” NAYA had much better luck. The association was founded in Portland in 1994 but really took off under the leadership of Nichole Maher, its executive director from 2001 to 2012, when NAYA’s budget grew from $200,000 a year to $10 million. Last year, NAYA served 1,400 children and Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013





EMPIRE BUILDING: NAYA’s headquarters on Northeast Columbia Boulevard.

their families. NAYA began renting the district’s Whitaker-Lakeside campus on 10-plus acres along Northeast Columbia Boulevard in 2006. Among other services, the nonprofit runs a PPS-funded community-based alternative high school in the 63,500-square-foot building. Right away, documents show, NAYA expressed interest in buying the property, and then-Superintendent Vicki Phillips, who had a strong working relationship with Maher, supported the sale. PPS first offered it to the city and the county, as district rules require. When both passed, PPS began exclusive negotiations with NAYA, without putting the property on the open market. District policy permits what is called a “directed sale,” if the transaction provides “community benefit.” On July 20, 2009, the School Board voted to sell the property to NAYA at a price “based on the current fair market value.” The agreed-upon price was $2.9 million. But records show the property was appraised at $3.3 million only four months earlier. Alexander says the price was fair because the building needed a new roof. In October 2012, three years after the sale, NAYA refinanced its original mortgage. Loan documents show the value of the property had soared to at least $4.7 million. Rey Espana, NAYA’s director of community development, says the property’s increased value reflected improvements to the building but also a stronger real-estate market. “We bought when land was pretty depressed,” Espana says. Alexander says the increase in value reflects NAYA’s investment and improved market conditions. “The economy changes,” Alexander says. In 2012, NAYA landed another district property, this time thanks to then-Mayor Sam Adams. PPS faced a $27 million budget shortfall that year, and Adams arranged for the city to provide the district $5 million. But the bailout came with a condition—PPS would have to turn over another surplus property to NAYA. To get the money, the district agreed to lease 2.16 acres of the dormant Foster Elementary site at 5205 SE 86th Ave. in Lents to NAYA. The terms of the lease: 99 years at no cost. That was far below what the property was worth. A 2012 appraisal pegged the land’s value at $425,000. NAYA plans to develop 40 units of multigenerational housing on the site. If it is successful in raising money for construction, NAYA can buy the ground in 15 years. The price: $1. Espana says NAYA also hopes to raze the existing Foster Elementary building on an adjacent acre and build a new early childhood center, which it would operate under contract with PPS. Lainie Block Wilker, a parent activist who wants the district to invest more in scientific and vocational education, says the NAYA transactions are fiscally irresponsible for a district struggling to pay for federal mandates. “Why is NAYA getting sweetheart deals when [PPS is] out of compliance with federal requirements in areas such as special education and [English Language Learners]?” she says. Morton says the board is merely investing in effective programs. Alexander says both NAYA transactions support PPS’s mission and represent reasonable values. He says the public should be happy with what PPS has done. “We are not doing sweetheart deals here,” he says. 8

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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013







Teachers are putting up decorations and kids are learning holiday songs, but there’s not a lot of cheer at Portland Public Schools right now. Contract talks between teachers and the district are careening toward an impasse, setting up what could be the district’s firstever teachers’ strike. It’s a stark change from two years ago, when the district and the 3,600-member teachers’ union, the Portland Association of Teachers, negotiated their last contract. Both sides reached a consensus in barely two weeks, a record time that left teachers and administrators smiling and proclaiming the start of a new collaborative relationship. This go-round, the two sides arrived at the bargaining table with radically different proposals, unable to agree even on what they will negotiate. District and union representatives have instead spent the last six months talking past each other—and blaming the other side for wanting to force a strike. The current standoff is, in part, the result of both sides grappling with change. For example, district officials say the contract is too rigid when it comes to setting starting and ending times to instructional hours. “The district is ineffective in orchestrating change, and the union is unenlightened in responding to it,” says John Hirsch, co-chairman of 80%ers for Educational Excellence, advocating for the 80 percent of Portlanders who don’t have children in local public schools. “The real theme of this whole negotiation is dealing with change,” says Hirsch of the 80%ers. It’s the clash of the titans, and the

community and students may suffer for it.” How did it get so bad so fast? It largely comes down to the three T’s: terms, trust and transparency.

TERMS For years, Portland Public Schools has traded contract concessions for money. The district has often given the union what it wanted on issues such as hiring, transfers and class size. And the union often took these concessions in lieu of better pay and benefits. But many of these issues are also outside the mandated scope of the contract and have given the union a bigger say in what the district says should be management decisions. This time, the district has refused to discuss more than 50 so-called “permis-

sive” issues the union raised and is working to remove existing language from the contract. District officials say that’s made it more complicated to do even simple things, such as requiring teachers to regularly post student progress online, or getting teachers to reschedule conferences when parents miss appointments. “Changing contract language around workload is a priority,” says district spokesman Robb Cowie. “Those tradeoffs have handcuffed our ability to get better results for students. The School Board has been clear from the outset that they see the current contract in many ways as putting up barriers to more effective teaching and learning.” The union, by contrast, arrived at the bargaining table with a wide-ranging manifesto on education reform. Union leaders say they

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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

don’t trust PPS to work with them on issues without the hammer of the contract. “We wanted to talk about the things that are most important to teachers,” says union president Gwen Sullivan. “The district was starting in a different place than we were. It couldn’t have been more opposite.”

TRUST It turns out the district couldn’t afford the last contract it signed in March 2011 with teachers, who gave up cost-of-living increases but were supposed to get 2-to-5percent raises, depending on their seniority and education. Within two weeks, however, district officials were talking about covering a $10-million shortfall by laying off more than 100 teachers. CONT. on page 12


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The following school year, teachers agreed to forgo part of the small raise they had just received and to donate $400,000, 40 percent of a recent arbitration award, to help bail out PPS. Sullivan says teachers also agreed to a change in health plans that has upset many teachers while saving the district nearly $1 million. “Cuts have been predominantly on the backs of teachers,” Sullivan says. “We don’t want a strike, but our teachers won’t accept an unacceptable contract. We are at a breaking point.” The last contract helped create the atmosphere of incredulity toward the district’s promises, especially when it comes to money. As the district pleads poverty, for example, it continues to spend millions on racialsensitivity training (which has yet to show any meaningful benefit for students) and alternative programs that hire non-union teachers and have abysmal graduation rates. (See “Expel Check,” WW, Sept. 25, 2013; and “Flunk Factories,” WW, Nov. 13, 2013.) “Trust is frazzled right now,” says Otto Schell, legislative director for the Oregon PTA. “No matter how this works out, there’s going to be a lot of work to be done on that.”

TRANSPARENCY In 2011, the district proposed a new “six of eight” high-school schedule, in which teachers would have six classes a day instead of the previous five of seven. The result was intended to save money. But the union challenged the plan, and an arbitrator ruled it violated contract provisions (based on 1997 baselines) that limit teachers to 180 students per day—six periods with 30 students per teacher. District officials felt burned by the union’s challenge and are determined to eliminate class limits in the contract. Teachers, in turn, feel as if the district tried an end-run around the contract. “They are all trying to do what they think is best,” says Andrew Davidson, a senior at Grant High School and PPS’s student representative on the School Board. Davidson notes everyone wants to carry out the union’s slogan: “Schools Our Students Deserve.” “It’s what’s in the contract or how we go about getting there that’s different,” he says.


Portland Public Schools, the state’s largest school district, has troubles enough as it is. It’s under fire from its auditor for abysmal graduation rates, facing a formal complaint from parents that it’s shorting highschool students on class time, and under scrutiny for its heavy spending on alternative programs and consultants. The last thing the 47,000-student district needs is for its

teachers to walk out. But the rumblings over current talks with its union, the Portland Association of Teachers, have both sides saying the other is trying to force a strike. Negotiations between PPS and the union have dragged on since April—one month before the current teacher contract expired—with both sides digging in their heels. In September, PPS called in a state mediator to assist, to no avail. The bargaining period is now well past the state-mandated 150-day threshold, meaning that either side could declare an impasse—the first step to triggering a strike. Parents are justifiably looking for answers—and clarity. WW sets the record straight.






The district is offering a 5-percent cost-of-living increase spread over a three-year contract.

The district would cap monthly health-insurance contributions at $1,431 a month, with inflation adjustments over the next two school years; and it would eliminate early retirement incentives for employees retiring after June 30, 2014.

The district wants to add three days to the school year.

The district wants to expand its powers to reassign teachers and redefine “competence” in teacher assignment and layoff decisions.


The union wants more: an 8.55-percent increase over two years

The union wants to maintain current provisions, with 93 percent of teachers’ health insurance covered by the district, and they early retirement package that bridges the gap between Social Security and Medicare.

Union officials say their focus is on fighting the elimination of longstanding “workload” caps on how many students teachers can instruct.

The union wants to prohibit the district from using student grades to evaluate teacher performance.


Teachers recently agreed to delay a step increase for half a year after the district threatened to lay off 100 teachers and cut 10 days from the school year.

PPS states that eliminating the early retirement incentive would “free up” $5 million a year. The union claims the package saves the district money by encouraging the mostsenior (and highest-paid) teachers to retire ahead of schedule.

The state’s largest school district stands out for its shorter teacher workdays, far fewer instructional hours available to high-school students, and a classroom “cap” based on 1997-98 standards.

PPS asserts that changes to hiring, grievance and transfer procedures will free it to hire the best teachers, regardless of seniority. The union sees them as “aggressive” attempts to gut job security.

Any employer who subsidizes health-care costs—let alone pays 93 percent of them—knows they’re offering something sweet. And PPS can claim its leaner benefits, however much they hurt, are still competitive with neighboring school districts’.

More class time might help high-school students recoup some of the nearly 200 hours the district now shorts them. But with the district pushing to eliminate the workload cap, the union may be rightly suspicious of PPS’s claim that lower class size is a priority.

With the nation increasingly focused on the metrics of public education—from standardized tests to slipping student grades—it’s no wonder PPS seeks more flexibility to hire, juggle and dismiss teachers based on performance.


The district says its proposal would cost $15 million a year over the first two years. The teachers’ proposal, priced at $200 million, includes the projected cost of extended work time. Union officials say the pay is catch-up for what they were promised before.


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The director of Multnomah County’s Office of Diversity and Equity ran an outside consulting business while on county time, used taxpayerpaid staff and resources to aid the company, and collected speaking fees while he was on the public clock, records obtained by WW show. Daryl Dixon, who earns $100,400 a year as the office’s director, ends his tenure on the county payroll Dec. 4. County officials say they learned of Dixon’s outside work from a complaint to County Auditor Steve March but declined to discuss why Dixon is leaving. “The county does not comment on personnel matters,” county spokesman David Austin says. “He is resigning to pursue other opportunities.” Dixon denies any wrongdoing. He says he had a verbal agreement with former Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen that he could continue his private consulting work, provided he fulfilled his county duties. Cogen confirmed that account to WW but says he has no knowledge of why Dixon is leaving the county. “I worked way more than 40 hours a week for the county,” Dixon says. “I did a good job.” Dixon, 54, who holds a master’s degree in divinity from George Fox University, has been director of the county office since 2010. He also serves on the board of the North Clackamas School District. The county’s personnel policies allow employees to work outside jobs, but not if they use county time or resources to do so. “Employees must not use their positions or county property for personal gain, to solicit or conduct personal business,” the rules say. State records show Dixon has operated his private consulting firm, Diversity Resources Group, out of his Milwaukie home since 2007. But timesheets and 65 emails obtained by WW under the Oregon Public Records Law show Dixon used his county computer on county time to run the firm. In several cases, Dixon received email inquiries about his consulting business from nonprofits, such as Planned Parenthood, and government agencies, such as Josephine County, at his county email address and immediately forwarded them to his company email address. On Oct. 12, 2012, for instance, Superintendent Bob Stewart of the Gladstone School District emailed Dixon at the county. “A few years ago you did some training with our administrators and staff,” Stewart wrote. “Do you still work with school districts?” Dixon then met with Stewart, who emailed Gladstone’s demographic data to Dixon’s county email address. Dixon then forwarded that data to his personal business email address. In addition, Dixon sometimes directed his county assistant to set up meetings for his con-

ON HIS WAY OUT: Multnomah County’s soon-to-be-former chief diversity and equity officer Daryl Dixon.


sulting business. On Jan. 31, 2013, Rahel Yared, director of diversity at Portland State University’s School of Business Administration, sent a message to Dixon’s private email address requesting a meeting with Dixon. (Portland State is a longtime client of Dixon’s business, according to his résumé.) Dixon then sent an email to his county assistant, Rasheeda Webber, asking her to schedule the meeting. She did. County rules also prohibit employees from collecting honoraria or speaking fees from outside sources if the payment is “solicited or received in connection with the employment of the employee.” State ethics laws also make it illegal to use public office for personal gain. Because WW does not have access to Dixon’s personal email, it’s impossible to know how many of the inquiries resulted in paying engagements. One Portland nonprofit, Northwest Family Services, specified terms of payment in an email to Dixon’s county address. “As we have discussed, we ask that you present a 1.5 hour workshop entitled Dignity and Respect,” wrote Jordan Turel, Northwest Family Services’ development and operations manager, on June 21, 2013. “In appreciation for your services, we are happy to compensate you with a stipend of $300.” He gave the presentation in Canby on Aug. 21, 2013. Records show Dixon claimed he worked eight hours for the county that day. Records show he also claimed he worked on county time when at least one other day in 2012 when he got paid privately for outside presentations. Dixon says the decision to leave was his, prompted by Cogen’s departure. “I resigned,” he says. “When leadership changes, you have to assess whether the new team is the right fit.” Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013




ortland comedy shows often feel like house parties. Half the people know each

other, and everyone else is bonding over $2 tall boys while griping about OkCupid skeezeballs and roommates who flood the kitchen by using dish soap in the dishwasher. It’s a chummy scene, and it explains as much about Portland’s recent comedy boom as the opening of Helium Comedy Club in 2010 or the growth of the uber-popular Bridgetown Comedy Festival. This isn’t a town where newcomers are booed off the stage. In Portland, they’re invited out for bloody marys and waffles after their first open mic. There are probably 100 people in this city who identify as standup comics, but only a handful with material you’ll try stealing on your next date. Unless you go to comedy shows every week (see a list on page 21), it’s hard to know who’s worth seeing. It doesn’t help that Portland comics are so nice to each other. Ask them who’s funny—or bet-


ter yet, what hack needs to burn the gluten-free heroin jokes—and they’ll flee the conversation. There are local comedy contests, but they heavily favor those who can convince their friends to show up and buy drinks. Portland has too many comics for that system to work. We wanted answers supported by science. So we sent ballots to people in the know—comics, bookers, managers, podcasters, critics—and asked them to vote, anonymously, for their favorite local comics. More than 80 responded, and the resulting list is a testament to Portland’s status as a burgeoning comedy hub. While some Portland comedians move south for TV work—looking at you, Ian Karmel and Ron Funches—somebody’s got to make us laugh about Vista Bridge jumpers and our city’s Alabama-quality public schools. According to their peers, these are the five funniest people in Portland. They include a Texan who was fired from Kinko’s after a customer complained about him on Yelp, a Berkeley grad who got into comedy from social work and a former porn-store clerk who found a dead body in the jack shack. To see them together onstage, head to our free showcase at 7 pm Sunday, Nov. 24, at the Alhambra Theatre—gluten-free heroin jokes strictly forbidden.

See all five comics at WW’s Funniest 5 showcase on Sunday, Nov. 24, at the Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7 pm. Free. 21+.


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

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class of 2013: (clockwise from top left) shane Torres, Nathan Brannon, Bri Pruett, Kristine levine and amy Miller. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


FUNNIEST 5 inger klekacz



hree years ago, Amy Miller’s mom dropped a bomb. The man Miller had grown up believing was her dad—a steel-plant worker who died when Miller was 9 when he tried to drive to the hospital after a heart attack and crashed into a telephone pole—wasn’t her father after all. “My mom was going to take this to her grave, for sure, but my dad’s brother was going to out her,” says Miller, 32. “I’m like, ‘Oh, this sucks. I’ve got to rewrite my life story.’” As it turned out, Miller was the product of a one-night stand with a man who’d died a decade earlier. She’s flip about it in the retelling, her already high voice—which she describes as sounding like that of a 6-year-old Asian boy—jumping half an octave. But the news shook her. Unable to afford a therapist, Miller turned to standup as “a way to get all this shit out.” “This was during the recession, and the East Bay was crazy,” she says. “All these people got into comedy because they’d lost their corporate jobs and even their shitty jobs. There was a huge boom, and I got in there with all the other sad people.” These days, Miller stands out from all those sad people with a self-deprecating, guileless style and anecdotes of flirting with teenage clerks at Fred Meyer about artichokes. She laughs endearingly at her own jokes while asking audience members if they’ve ever been dumped. There’s no affectation: The Miller you see onstage is the same Miller you’ll meet over pints of Pabst. After a show at Southeast Hawthorne’s Bar of the Gods, the East Bay native giggles about her “white-trash family” and “shitshow childhood,” which entailed little adult supervision and lots of house pets—including a highly aggressive duck her dad christened “Chester the Molester.” Miller’s parents were rarely around, and their home became something of a neighborhood flophouse for her older siblings’ friends, who slept in closets or in the unfinished houseboat her dad had tried to build in the backyard. Miller, the youngest, would be tasked with making 30 grilled cheese sandwiches—at least when her parents had made one of their fluke trips to Costco to restock the pantry. For times of relative famine, her sisters hoarded cake frosting and syrup under their beds. “If you hypnotized me and said, ‘Draw your childhood,’ it would be like a Lord of the Flies situation,” Miller says. “There would be no grown people around.” Miller moved to Portland a year ago for a marketing job at Aladdin Theater, and she now rarely riffs on her upbringing or her mother’s revelation, which she says has actually brought her family closer. She’ll occasionally joke about her mom’s disdain for seat belts (punch line: “and this is why you use condoms, so you don’t knock up somebody as dumb as my mom”), but she’s more likely to talk about her cat or Portlanders’ irrational love of the phrase “no worries.” Whether it’s because she thinks people wouldn’t believe the stories or because she doesn’t want their sympathy, it makes for comedy that’s neither sensationalist nor self-pitying. A UC Berkeley grad and former social worker—ask her about the meth baby with webbed arms and legs—Miller has a natural sense of compassion that comes through in her standup act. With her round face and blunt strawberryblonde bangs, she knows she’s both cute and non-threatening, and she milks this to her advantage. When she talks about her 4-year-old nephew, she’ll ask if anyone in the room has kids. “OK, picture your kid, but just...better,” she’ll say. “Like just a better kid.” Yet it’s not uncommon to overhear someone describe her set as “soothing,” as a middle-aged woman did after a recent showcase at Funhouse Lounge. Miller says people often approach her afterward to ask to be friends. “So many comedians go in with zero social skills and they only see other humans as vehicles for material,” she says. “I don’t want to be that person who’s like, ‘What are you going to say that’s fucked-up so I can write it down?’ Don’t fucking tweet about the crazy guy on the bus. I like to make jokes about people I know and love.” S h e p a u s e s. “ I d o n ’t k n ow i f t h a t ’s b ett e r.” REBECCA JACOBSON.

“If you hypnotized me and said, ‘Draw your childhood,’ it would be like a Lord of the Flies situation.” —Amy Miller

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013





Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


But the result onstage is disarmingly casual, as if he’s telling embarrassing stories that just occurred to him over drinks—stories he now finds hilarious. The time he got fired from Kinko’s because of a Yelp comment that read, “Shane sucks ass.” The time, before his dad’s funeral, that his former third-grade teacher came home to find him drunk at her house. That time at the shopping mall, when he screamed at his dead father’s debt collectors over the phone that he would never, ever pay. (His father, Torres says, was so terrible with money that he’d spend his last dollar on a margarita machine, “because what’s a pool party without a margarita machine?”) Torres isn’t a wisecracker who t houg ht he’d ju st pop onstage and be charming. He’s a craftsman, dedicated to the form as a ty pe of emotional honesty, or a drill-down into absurdity. “I’m surprised when feminists are surprised by sexism,” he says in one bit. “I get why they’re upset. But surprised?... How weird is it when the Ghostbusters are surprised when they see a ghost?” He’s currently saving up for a move to comedy’s ground zero, New York City. “I want to do 25 sets a week,” he says. “Three or four times a night. That’s the best. Even when it’s bad and I eat a big old pile of shit onstage, I can learn a lot. You can’t say that about a lot of things. If you can get something good out of the bad, that means you care about it. “I think it was Richard Belzer who said that comedy is the thing that saved and ruined his life,” he adds. “I love it more than anything.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.


he first joke Nathan Brannon ever told in f ront of a n aud ience w a s a b out Sl aver y. That’s Shaun Lavery, his former teammate on the Willamette University football team, whose unfortunate nickname derived from his collegeissued email address: It wasn’t a polished bit. Brannon—who, with his heavy build and nest of curls atop his head, lives up to his self-description as “a pregnant Tracy Chapman”—didn’t expect to end up onstage that night. Unbeknownst to him, his friends reserved space at an open mic near campus, just to hear Brannon retell the story of him and Lavery at football practice. “We weren’t the best athletes, so we would always end up at the end of the pack,” says Brannon, 29, sitting at Lucky Lab on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard, across the street from Helium Comedy Club, where he was crowned Portland’s Funniest Person in 2012. “One day, we were running sprints, and it was a thing where, once you finish, you turn around and cheer on the extra people. It was me and him, and they cheered for him, but they cheered with his nickname. So they’re screaming ‘Slavery!’ at me as I’m running through a field.” A quiet kid who grew up “dirt poor” in St. Johns, Brannon wasn’t inclined toward a career in comedy. In conversation, there are still traces of the introvert who wanted to be a filmmaker: glancing downward, occasionally trailing off sentences. Onstage, though, Brannon exudes the calm, laid-back temperament of his idol, Dave Chappelle, who he’s opened for twice. His comedic identity hasn’t strayed far from the guy hanging out in the frat house living room, delivering treatises on his hatred of flowers and fortune cookies, and tales of going hunting



o I crack her toilet seat,” says Shane Torres. “Then getting married, then wedding nights. And then babies falling out of windows.” This may sound like a life gone awry. But it’s actually science. Torres’ comedy sets are meticulously planned, on notebook pages full of tight formulas and spidery diagrams. His jokes are engineered beat by beat through dogged experimentation. “Some people will write their jokes like it’s a blog,” he says. “Some people, their crowd work is as good as a planned bit. I just happen to be a little OCD.” The Texas-raised Torres, 32, is a deeply polite man, with an outward modesty not always characteristic of his home state. In awkward moments, his natural reflex seems to be a sort of manic self-effacement. He is a large man, with generous features that often move among dramatically different expressions at the same time, from vexed to tickled to maybe sad. He also might just be the hardest-working comedian in Portland. A former roommate of émigré comic Ian Karmel—who left this year for Los Angeles to become a writer for the cable show Chelsea Lately—Torres has been in comedy for seven years. This year, the self-described “Native-American Meatloaf impersonator” was named Portland’s Funniest Person at Helium Comedy Club. He performs eight or nine comedy sets a week, and each time he’s trying out new pathways for a joke, laid out methodically in those notebooks.



“I want to do 25 sets a week. That’s the best. Even when it’s bad and I eat a big old pile of shit onstage.” —Shane Torres


with his Norwegian father-in-law. Still, it took a while for Brannon to find himself comedically. After playing out the Salem coffee-shop scene, Brannon returned to Portland and found a mentor in veteran comic Andre Paradise. Paradise booked Brannon at predominantly African-American rooms in Northeast Portland, and demanded he come up with three minutes of new material every week. It was a steep learning curve. “Black crowds, if they don’t like you, you know it before you finish the joke,” Brannon says. And as a sweaterwearing, Björk-loving “Oreo” (his word), they let him know it often. It toughened him up quickly. “If someone doesn’t like you, they don’t like you,” he says. “I like me, I like my jokes. I think they’re great. If you don’t like them, that’s it.” In the last yea r, Bra nnon has started dipping into darker territory, in particular his family’s health problems, like his sister’s Tourette’s syndrome and his own battle with ulcerative colitis. On I Black Out, the self-released album he recorded at Funhouse Lounge, Brannon talks about his father losing his legs to diabetes, and you can practically hear the audience squirming in their seats. On the record, he frames the double amputation as divine retribution for his childhood, when his dad would chastise him with the phrase, “Stop dragging your feet, boy.” “Every Christmas,” he says, “I get ‘Stop Dragging Your Feet’ embroidered into a pair of socks and give it to him.” The audience finally erupts in laughter. “I had to wait and get my experience before I started tapping into things like that,” Brannon says. “There are still things I don’t touch yet. Things you say, ‘I’ll leave that to Chris Rock or Louis C.K.’ Serious issues like that. You can take a stab at it, but I’ll wait until I can make a gem out of it, instead of origami.” MATTHEW SINGER.

“Black crowds, if they don’t like you, you know it before you finish the joke.” —Nathan Brannon

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013




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he guy died in booth 26—Kristine Levine remembers the number. She found him with his pants down and the porno timed out. Just minutes earlier he’d asked for a popper on his way back to the jack shack. Now he was about to leave the Tigard branch of Fantasy for Adults Only in a body bag and less $35. “The 911 operator was such a cunt to me,” Levine says. “It seemed like she thought I was not properly remorseful. She’s like, ‘How do you know he’s dead?’ and I’m just telling her, ‘Honey, he’s dead, can you have someone come get him?’” Levine took it upon herself to look in his wallet—for identification. “I stole $35 from him, and I don’t regret it,” she says. “People say, ‘You rolled a dead guy?’ like I’m the bad one. It’s a finder’s fee.” Portland comics tend to embrace the city’s self-image with jokes about kale and the existential horrors of forgotten shopping bags. Levine confronts Portland with a blue-collar past that’s not even past if you make the 15-minute drive to Lents, her home and site of the Eagle Eye Tavern, where she sits drinking a cocktail of Fireball and apple cider, awoooohing along with Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London.” Levine, 43, has shortish blond hair worn in pigtails. She wears a black hoodie with the sleeves pulled up to reveal a dung beetle tattooed on one arm and a ladybug on the other. Her phone is encased in a sparkly purple shell. Her voice is girlish but gruff—Levine befriended Roseanne Barr’s first husband and has never wondered what he likes about her. The Redmond, Ore., native tells lots of jokes about her decade-long stint as a clerk at an adult video store. She

mentions that she has “three fat kids” by three different dads. She doesn’t always get into the particulars: She married at 18, had a kid, divorced at 19, married a minor Saudi royal, had another kid, moved to Egypt, survived an earthquake, moved back to the U.S. and remarried her first husband who—and she does tell this part—left her for a woman he met on “Yeah, I was married to a Saudi royal with a fancy diplomatic passport and all that,” she says. “It’s my life, I lived it, but I never think, ‘Oh, that’s relatable.’” Levine has appeared on all four seasons of Portlandia, showcased at SXSW, done Oregon Lottery voice-overs and was a producer on KUFO’s Marconi show. Her show Fat Whore was selected in 2012 for the prestigious Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where, as a critic for The Guardian newspaper put it, her “stark and unapologetic dispatches from an exotic life” would better suit “a rowdier and less beady audience.” Talk longer to Levine, though, and you sense that her bawdy tales of life east of 82nd Avenue also have an element of image-crafting. She’s a natural bard, someone who would tell jokes about Multnomah Athletic Club mixers or hazelnut farming if she’d lived it. And she doesn’t have much patience for people who aren’t, either by experience or practice. “We’re seeing an influx of new comics that are garbage—no one is telling them they suck,” she says. “You have to sit people down sometimes and say, ‘Hey, the vet tech program at PCC isn’t so bad, maybe check it out.’” MARTIN CIZMAR

“People say, ‘You rolled a dead guy?’ like I’m the bad one. It’s a finder’s fee.” —Kristine Levine

sage of positive self-image but with just enough absurdity and raunch to avoid a middle-school-assembly vibe. “I’m working on a lot of stuff about body positivity, which is not a funny thing, but the message is important to me,” Pruett says. “Ultimately it’s all about laughs, but if you’re not doing anything while you’re getting a laugh, then what’s the point?” For Pruett, that means mining painful aspects of her life. “I’m trying to write jokes about how I think a lot of dudes like to hang with bigger chicks, but for a lot of them it’s kind of a secret,” she says. “And that’s super-dark. That’s a sad reality that we live in. But I’m trying to talk about that in a way that doesn’t bum everyone out.” It helps that Pruett has a knack for reading crowds and delivering what they want, whether that means a xing a joke that sounded racist no matter how much she worked on it (how, as a larger white woman, she was statistically more likely to bring home a black guy), or taking it to the opposite extreme, such as when she recently performed for NARAL’s Pro-Choice Oregon annual gala. “It was a really fancy benefit,” Pruett says. “So I did a really dirty set because they didn’t care and I figured these people probably want something a little spicy, and they’re liberal so they can handle it. And I said the word ‘pussy’ a lot.” PENELOPE BASS.

“Strangers will call me ‘mama,’ which is not real sexy or awesome. But I care a lot about the audience.” —Bri Pruett


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

5. BRI PRUETT inger klekacz


ri Pruett wants you to feel good about yourself. But if she can also make you laugh about genital muffin tops—she advises audiences to junk any too-tight underwear—then all the better. Her effervescent laugh and pretty, heart-shaped face have a comforting effect, like a childhood friend who makes you pee a little when she catches you off-guard with a joke about her pussy. It’s a comic sensibility fostered in part by a childhood spent in Clackamas, where Pruett found escape through television, including programs less than kid-friendly. “Growing up in the suburbs, I was a big Comedy Central fan,” she says. “Even when I was a child I would watch Rosie O’Donnell do standup at the Improv.” Seeking an outlet for her smart mouth, Pruett joined a sketch-comedy troupe in college and later became a company member with Portland’s Action/Adventure Theatre. For six years, she has helped spearhead the group’s largely improvised performances, including the beloved Fall of the House serial comedy. But three years ago, at age 26, Pruett braved her first open mic and found what she was looking for. “I have been told that I come off as very nurturing,” she says. “Strangers will call me ‘mama,’ which is not real sexy or awesome. But I care a lot about the audience.” That attitude is evident in sets that espouse a mes-




Because everybody knows that day drinkers are the true soul of comedy, Nic Goans and Campy Draper host early-afternoon showcases with some of the better comics in town and $10 bottomless mimosas whose bubbly is cheaper than the orange juice, plus Southern-fried fare that drains the blood (and judgment) from your head. Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan St. 1 pm every first Saturday. Free.

Secret Weapon

This show, co-hosted by Andie Main and Christian Ricketts, wins points not only for its off-kilter approach—you might find comedians performing as fictional fashion designers named Gordon KaPow! or offering unorthodox PowerPoint presentations—but also for its regular smackdowns between Portland and Seattle comics. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave. 9:30 pm every last Wednesday. $5 suggested.

Midnight Mass

Amy Miller, voted our No. 1 comic, learned from the legendary Tony Sparks—he’s hosted open-mic nights at an Oakland laundromat for 14 years—and she brings those chops to this monthly midnight showcase, where you can spend the wee hours among the red lights and clown paintings of Funhouse Lounge. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave. Midnight every fourth Saturday.

Hamster Village

Nathan Brannon hosts a roving comic roundtable, in which audience members are encouraged to bring news headlines for the panel to riff on. Think of it as Politically Incorrect, minus the token Republican, the know-nothing B-level celebrity and Bill Maher’s self-satisfaction. This season, the plan is to record the shows and release them as podcasts. Rotating venue, monthly. See for details.

Weekly Recurring Humor Night

Every Wednesday night, Tonic Lounge hosts a comedy showcase called the Weekly Recurring Humor Night. It’s weekly and it’s humorous, with a rotating cast of comics (recently the biggest name was Gabe Dinger), usually behind host Whitney Streed. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd. 9 pm every Wednesday. $3-$5 suggested.

It’s Gonna Be Okay

Hosted by the chipper, chipmunk-voiced Barbara Holm, this relatively new showcase has quickly become one of the better places to catch Portland’s top comics, with serial appearances by most members of our top-five list. Plus free skeeball! EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St. 8:30 pm every first and third Monday. Free.

Fly-Ass Jokes

One-time producer Ian Karmel left for Los Angeles last summer, but his legacy lingers. This showcase, now run by Jen Allen and Anatoli Brant, remains one of the more consistent comedy nights in town, with comedians drawn mostly from Portland but occasionally from farther afield. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway. 9:30 pm every first and third Friday. $8.

No Pun Intendo

No, you can’t play Mortal Kombat II during this beautifully named showcase in the lounge at retrocade Ground Kontrol. But you can see a reliable slate of locals and the occasional out-of-towner, hosted by a different comic each month. NFL ’99 will still be there after they’ve wrapped up their sets. Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch St. 9 pm every third Thursday. $3.

Down and Dirty: A Dark Comedy Showcase

Forget about the sad clown: This showcase celebrates the depraved clown. Comics take off the gloves and bare all that’s filthy and dark. Hosted by Patrick Thomas Perkins, a comic who favors jokes about weed. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St. Normally 9 pm every first Monday (next show is Tuesday, Dec. 3). $5 suggested. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013





Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013




Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


FOOD: The lost art of pre-Pilgrim Portland Thanksgiving. MUSIC: 20 years of the Meat Puppets on Nirvana’s Unplugged. BOOKS: The very best of McSweeney’s. MOVIES: 7 continuous minutes of lesbian sex. Oh my!

Thank God for...?

27 29 45 46


think it’s just trivia? think again.



) — 7:00 PM m 8p s@ ay(Portland ursdLion ThThirsty Hawthorne Hideaway (Portland) — 8:00 PM g Bar & Grill Redwin Tuesday

ParkPM h 7:00 St • Nort 2 30th (Hillsboro 401Dugout The )—

Biddy McGraw's (Portland ) — 7:00 PM Cheerful Tortoise (Portland ) — 9:00 PM Tonic Lounge (Portland ) — 7:00 PM Shanahan's (Vancouver) - 7:00 PM

Double Dragon (Portland ) - 8:30 PM (new!) Space Room (Portland ) - 7:00 PM

2222 San Diego Ave • Old Town


Mondays @ 9pm Bourbon Street Bar & Grill 4612 Park Blvd - University Heights

Wednesday rdays @ 8pm tu Sa Cheerful Bullpen (Portland ) - 8:30 PM Concordia House Pu)b- 8:00 PM ’s (Portland KeAlelly

Tuesdays @ 8pm

21st Avenue Bar & Grill (Portland ) - 7:00 PM Belmont Inn (Portland ) - 7:00 PM

(starts August 14th)

South Park Abbey

1946 Fern Street • South Park @geekswhodrink


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

KICK AND SICK: Chelsea Cain’s new book series, set in Portland, hasn’t hit shelves yet, but it’s already been slated for development by NBC. The website Deadline. com reports that One Kick, a thriller centering on a young woman who investigates missing-child cases, will be adapted by screenwriter Matt Lopez, in a departure from his usual family-friendly fare. CAIN The first book in the One Kick series is due out in August 2014; no word yet on when the NBC series will air. This isn’t the first TV adaptation for The New York Times bestselling author—in spring 2012, FX greenlighted TV development of Cain’s Heartsick series, about serial killer Gretchen Lowell, but there are no signs of life (or a pilot) so far. ACES DOWN: Alex Calderwood, a founder of the fashion-forward Ace Hotel chain—its Portland outpost is home to Clyde Common restaurant and bar, as well as Kenny & Zuke’s deli—died Nov. 14 in a room at the chain’s London hotel. The cause of death had not been released as of WW’s press time. On the hotel chain’s website, the company announced his passing, referring to Calderwood as “teacher, mentor, guru and most importantly our dear friend.” Calderwood had acknowledged past substance abuse in a 2011 interview with The New York Times, but also said in the same interview that he had been sober for five months and had gone to rehab. He was 47. EXPANDING WORLD: Farm-fresh produce spot Local Choice Market was a short-lived addition to the Pearl District at 830 NW Everett St., opening in January and closing in October. Remodeling signs on the defunct store’s windows, plus an Oregon Liquor Control Commission application, indicate the space will be taken over by John Attar of international food superstore Barbur World Foods. The application calls for a grocery store with a restaurant that includes outdoor seating and beer and wine service. Attar’s wife, Mirna, is the chef behind Montavilla’s Ya Hala restaurant. >> In other food news, chef Kevin Gibson’s much-anticipated Davenport restaurant quietly opened for business Nov. 14 in the old June space at 2215 E Burnside St., after a two-day soft opening for friends and family. Gibson was previously a chef at Castagna, and most recently headed up the Evoe sandwich-and-wine spot inside Pastaworks on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. ON THE WEB: On wweek. com this week, look for a review of the Nov. 18 Nine Inch Nails show at the Moda Center. We’ll also be posting music videos from local artists on the site, with a selection already online from Stephen Malkmus, Illmaculate and others—including some dude from Lake Oswego who’s really upset about the prospect of apartment renters in the affluent suburb.






Babes. Preferably consensual and erotic. Piled high with all the toppings and ready to rock for a post-show rendezvous or one-on-one convo. Plenty of ’logne. It’s important to keep your bod fresh so you don’t gross out the babes. Can’t be smellin’ like some street animal.

Karl Welzein is America. Or, more accurately, he is ’Merica. Under the handle @Dadboner, the beer-swilling, Applebee’s-devouring, jorts-sporting son of Grand Blanc, Mich., has cultivated a devoted following on Twitter, where he doles out such nuggets of wisdom as “Boozin’ ain’t math” and “If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer.” Now, he’s done written a book, Power Moves: Livin’ the American Dream, U.S.A. Style, and he’s hitting the road to inspire the country in person. We asked Welzein—who some say is just a comic named Mike Burns, though that seems like some conspiracy bullshit if you ask me—to tell us about the essential items in his basement-on-wheels. MATTHEW SINGER.

Cold ones. At least 1,000. Heard Diamond Dave used to ask for an extra tour bus just for cold ones and babes. Both premium, of course. A boombox sound system complete with all the classics on CD (not cassette). Seger, Whitesnake, the Cr üe, Kid Rock, Cinderella, Van Halen...

Cheetos. I’m a bold-flavor man from way back, and Cheetos lend such great texture to any dish. Hamburgs? Brats? ’Za? Really off the chain.

Back-up jean shorts. Dave wiped his smelly behind with my pair the other day ’cause he, “Had no choice when I used up the TP.” So steamed.

A boob tube with the NFL package. I gotta watch my Lions. You go outta town and they don’t show Detroit! So stupid. They’re America’s team. Maps of where the local Chili’s or ’Bee’s are. They’re pretty much the hottest spots in the country for late-night action right now.

Copies of Timehouse. It’s a Penthouse with a Time cover. I’m the publisher and CEO. It’s a must for today’s tasteful gentlemen on the go.

More babes.

Can never have too many ripe and mature chest beefers, you guys.





THURSDAY NOV. 21 THE NATASHA PLAYS [THEATER] Boom Arts, which presents some of the more thoughtprovoking theater programming in town, stages two short plays by 26-year-old Russian playwright Yaroslava Pulinovich. Told from the perspective of two 16-year-old girls on very different rungs of the socioeconomic ladder, the plays illuminate issues of class and gender—and, unsurprisingly, showcase plenty of teenage angst. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 567-1644. 7:30 pm. Free, donation suggested. BEAUJOLAIS NOUVEAU CELEBRATION [WINE] Pairings is hosting music and offering up free Oma chocolate, alongside the launch of the only two super-young Beaujolais Nouveau wines that meet the shop’s standards for organic grapes and “conscious” winemaking. We also prefer that winemakers remain conscious, unlike wine drinkers. Pairings Portland Wine Shop, 455 NE 24th Ave., 541-531-7653. 5-9 pm. Free.

FRIDAY NOV. 22 UNION TANGUERA [DANCE] The Argentinian/French company sets its newest show, Nuit Blanche, in a nightclub as a tango party comes to an end. With all the slinkiness you’d expect from a tango performance, and dashes of extravagant theatricality, the 60-minute show moves from desire to loneliness to passion. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 245-1600. 7:30 pm. $26-$66.

SATURDAY NOV. 23 PONG CLUB [GAMES] Pips & Bounce are hosting a Fight Club-themed pingpong fundraiser to send table tennis player Jenny Beck to the Parapan American Games. There will be demos by former Olympian Sean O’Neill, and free food and drink from Rogue Nation and Green Dragon PDX. Fight Club attire encouraged. The Green Door at the Rogue Nation warehouse, 1001 SE 9th Ave. 6-10 pm. $10 adults, $5 children over 7. JULIANNA BARWICK [MUSIC] Some shows just seem tailor-made for the Old Church’s hallowed walls. Nepenthe, the latest album from this ethereal songstress, is something of a spiritual experience in itself, a glowing, gentle record featuring looped waves of Barwick’s sky-walking vocals, glacier-thawing melodies and subtle, ambient tinkering. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 8 pm. $13 advance, $16 day of show. All ages.


GO: @Dadboner Live is at Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Wednesday, Nov. 20. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

THE FUNNIEST 5 [COMEDY] Earlier this month, WW turned to science—well, a poll of this city’s comedy community— to determine Portland’s five best standup comics. Read their profiles in this issue and see all five, for free, tonight. Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7 pm. Free. 21+. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JORDAN GREEN. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

OPEN HOUSE! Thanksgiving Weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday 11AM-5PM

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 Old Timer’s Week

To celebrate 30 years of slices, Escape From New York Pizza owner Phil Geffner is taking every current employee on a trip to Hawaii. The shop will still be open and under the care of former employees taking time off from their white-collar gigs to toss dough and remember what life was like before they were worn down by tedium, responsibility and having to pay for pizza. Continues through Friday, Nov. 22. Escape From New York Pizza, 622 NW 23rd Ave., 227-5423. 11:30 am-11 pm. Prices vary.

THURSDAY, NOV. 21 Beaujolais Nouveau Celebration

Discover award winning wines crafted at Portland’s largest winery 2621 NW 30th Avenue, Portland, OR

Lavish Buffets of Indian Cuisine Experience Lebanese cuisine at its best Bring this ad in for $10 off with a purchase of two entrees

Exotic Dishes of Lamb, Chicken, Goat Gluten-Free, Vegetarian, Vegan Options

Belly dancing Friday and Saturday evenings 223 SW STARK STREET PORTLAND, OR 503-274-0010 ALAMIRPORTLAND.COM

Dragon Lounge

Chinese-American Restaurant

2610 SE 82nd at Division 503-774-1135 Ho Ti 26

Read our story:

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

Oh man, I’m gonna bet there’s some ironic mustaches at this thing for their ’stache competition, and that is a shame because mustaches shouldn’t be ironic. They should just be mustaches, which are and always have been kind of cool. I think my dad should go back to a mustache. That was his thing for a while. (Also, prostate cancer is a very real danger and you should check yourself regularly, or buy beer here that benefits Pints for Prostates.) Portland Brewing Co., 2730 NW 31st Ave., 228-5269. 6-9 pm. Prices vary. 21+.

A Conversation With Andy Ricker

There is no free rice at Andy Ricker’s restaurants. There are, however, free words as the obsessive chef discusses his pwnage of all things Thai with food critic and author Karen Brooks. Pick up a copy of Pok Pok (Ten Speed) while you’re there— you’ll learn a bunch even if you don’t try to cook anything. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, NOV. 22 Double Dragon Anniversary

Now that Double Dragon is a splendid bar, it can celebrate its second year in style. I keep wanting to make some jokes about the Nintendo video game, but there is nothing memorable about the Double Dragon game except its name, which is, of course, awesome. As is free horchata. Double Dragon, 1235 SE Division St., 230-8340. 9 pm. Prices vary. 21+.

Any Port in the Storm

Many years ago, my wife got extremely drunk on port before a friend’s birthday party. She claimed she thought it was regular wine, a dubious alibi. Here’s what I’m saying: Be sure to let your date know she’s drinking port, and not wine, and not to cause a port-wine stain. Keep on your toes, gents. McMenamins Edgefield Little Red Shed, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. 6-9 pm. $40, includes port samples and appetizers. 21+.

Beaujolais Nouveau Festival

You know how the idea of fresh hops sets your mouth in salivary motion? That’s what Beaujolais Nouveau does for professional ladies between the ages of 28 and 45. That’s a fact you can stamp on a envelope and mail overseas to your Aunt Nancy in Nantes. The Heathman Restaurant and Bar, 1001 SW Broadway, 223-8388. 6 pm. $55-$70. 21+.


*certificate has no cash value nor can be exchanged. Not valid with any other offer, promotion or discount.

I get HAPPY 4-6pm Tues-Fri $3 menu

Fun Indu Night!

Mustache Bash for Movember

It’s tough to support that Washington cider—Sounders cider, Mariners cider—but you know: This stuff from the Olympic Peninsula is super-epic. Finnriver Farm and Cidery will be marauding 100 percent of the tap space at Bushwacker and filling it up with an Olympic swimming pool’s worth of Olympic cider. Bushwhacker Cider, 1212-D SE Powell Blvd., 445-0577. 5-9 pm. Free.


Karaoke 9pm nightly Hydro Pong Saturday night


It was my high-school French teacher who may have been nipping Beaujolais Nouveau wine between class periods, if you get my drift. (She may have been an alcoholic.) I mean, at least during the fourth week in November. Pairings Portland Wine Shop, 455 NE 24th St.. , 541-531-7653. 5-9 pm. Free. 21+.

Winter Cider Showcase


Parkrose since 2009 8303 NE Sandy Blvd 503-257-5059 Vancouver since 2001 6300 NE 117th Ave 360-891-5857

Russian River Brewing ’s Vinnie Cilurzo is credited with inventing the double IPA, but the brewmaster’s triple IPA has arguably been more revolutionary. Doubling everything in the American IPA was smart; developing a business model for Pliny the Younger was genius. Outrageously expensive and time-consuming to brew, Younger draws hourslong lines upon its February release. It’s as much a marketing tool as a product, made in limited quantities because its production pencils out to an unsellable $18 pint. Which brings us to Laurelwood’s Megafauna and Boneyard’s Notorious. These big Indias (Megafauna is 9.5 percent ABV and 140 IBUs, Notorious is 12 percent and 80 IBUs) are local students of Pliny and minor whales in their own right. After hearing the hype, I spent a week tracking down a $5 snifter of the sweet and syrupy Notorious at Apex. I spent another week hunting for Megafauna, only to give up and call Laurelwood, which spent a week calling shops to find one unopened bottle of its chewy, herbaceous brew. Like the Younger, these require lots of effort or luck. My advice: Buy what you can find, but avoid the lines. MARTIN CIZMAR.



In the autumn of 1621, sometime between Sept. 21 and Nov. 11, a three-day feast took place in Massachusetts. No one knows if there was turkey on the table. According to the only surviving firsthand account, the Plymouth colony hosted the party, serving waterfowl to friendly natives who brought them five deer. There probably was porridge made from the corn of a recent harvest, plus nuts and shellfish. This all took place in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Though the Pilgrims may not have known it, as Charles C. Mann’s 1491 points out, Plymouth was built on the abandoned ruins of a native village decimated by a three-year plague that killed 90 percent of coastal New England’s population beginning in 1616. Meanwhile, on the other side of what is now the United States, the autumn of 1621 found the indigenous bands along the rivers of Oregon living as they had for a millennium. That is to say, very well. “The houses were crammed with all kinds of food going into the wintertime,” says Ken Ames, retired professor of anthropology at Portland State University and co-author of several books, including the new Chinookan Peoples of the Lower Columbia. “The Portland-area homes had cellars. We excavated one of them and estimated it was large enough to have 26 tons of potatoes in it.” There weren’t any potatoes, though— and also no squash, beans or corn. Rather, the bulk of the basement would have held camas and wapato, roots that were once the staple of the Portland diet. Why haven’t you eaten camas? Because of bacon. In 1621, Portlanders had never encountered a European. Some trade goods may have made their way north from Spanish colonies, but the first sustained contact between Europeans and Native Americans was still 170 years away. And things were great. The region was teeming with villages

and towns of indigenous peoples, some interrelated, others inimical. Most of present-day Portland was territory of the Clackamas and Multnomah Chinookans, with Kalapuya living in the Willamette Valley above Willamette Falls. The Kalapuya and Clackamas are now part of the Confederated Tribes of the Grand Ronde; the few descendants of the plankhouse-dwelling Multnomah are scattered. Like other Chinookan peoples, the Multnomah were active fishermen. “This time of year they would have had smoked salmon, a tremendous amount of eulachon—a kind of smelt—and sturgeon,” Ames says. “And lots of deer and elk—they were almost specialized at hunting those. Also, ducks, geese, swans and the occasional passing seal.” There were also berries, either the last freshly picked bunches or the first from the stockpile smoked over fire during the summer. Acorns were left in the river to leach out their bitter tannins before being baked. Every home would have a pot simmering. “They would heat rocks up in the fire and then put them in the pot to heat the water,” Ames says. “They always had some type of soup or stew going throughout the day.”

“THE WAPATO WAS DESTROYED BY THE IDIOT WHO RELEASED CARP INTO THE LAKES AND MARSHES.” —KEN AMES The staples, though, were camas and wapato, once plentiful in the area. Wapato is an aquatic tuber found in marshes. Camas is the bulb of a flowering plant once found in the meadows of Vancouver and East Portland. Wapato looks like oblong garlic and can be baked or steamed—sagittaria, which you can get at Asian grocers, is a cousin. You can still find wapato in some ponds, but

FLOUR POWER: Annie Yellowbear of Oregon’s Nez Perce tribe grounds camas into flour.

it’s no longer abundant. “The wapato was destroyed by the idiot who released carp into the lakes and marshes,” Ames says. Camas, which looks a little like a gourd mated with a potato, isn’t commercially cultivated anywhere for food, but it has found its way into a slow cooker owned by Matt Bennett, chef and owner of Albany’s Sybaris Bistro. In honor of a new park in Albany, Bennett wanted to do a dinner that paid respect to the area’s original inhabitants. “In the park there was a cooking area where they found lots of mounds, which had been used to cook camas,” he says. “Sort of like the big pits used to cook pigs in Hawaii.” Bennett asked the Confederated Tribes of the Grand Ronde for help sourcing camas and discovered they still cooked traditional fall meals with it, preparing the root in an earthen oven and slowly steaming it until a mashlike block is cut off and eaten like porridge. “The tribe was so generous with their knowledge, so we kinda hit it off,” he says. Bennett was later invited to prepare a meal with camas and other traditional Native American ingredients from Oregon at the James Beard House in New York City. At that dinner, and at his restaurant, which has a few dishes like chipped elk on toast and cornmeal pan-fried trout, Ben-

nett employed his preferred technique of substituting indigenous ingredients into familiar dishes. “They didn’t use salt at all, even for food preservation,” he says. “They just smoked it dry enough. Try to do Thanksgiving—or any dinner—without salt.” And if you think a whole turkey takes a long time to prepare and leaves too many leftovers, consider that camas was traditionally prepared in batches of several hundred pounds. “It takes five days to cook,” Bennett says, “and that long cooking time sort of denatures it and it really gets nice and caramelly.” You should not, however, attempt to forage for camas on your own. “There’s two kinds of camas, a pretty purple one they ate and a white one that’s called death camas,” Bennett says. “And, gee, why did they call it that? I don’t trust myself to pick it.” And what happened to all the camas, once the main staple of a Portland diet? It was gobbled up by another food mainstay: Feral pigs devoured the bulbs from Idaho to the Pacific. That’s a shame, according to Bennett. “Lewis and Clark talked about eating it, and it wasn’t their favorite thing—you have to cook it right,” he says. “It reminds me of a sweet potato or a European chestnut. But it’s actually really, really good.”



Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


stuff that’s a little more challenging to play acoustically, but it’s mostly folk music at its heart. Cris: MTV didn’t really want it to happen, as I recall. They were somewhat disappointed we were the guests they chose to take on TV with them. Alex Coletti: When [Nirvana] said they were bringing in a guest, everyone thought, for some reason, it would obviously be Pearl Jam. Why would it be? But at the same time, why wouldn’t it be? So when it was the Meat Puppets, it was like, “What?” Cris: It was no big whoop. It was charming. “Oh, how sweet, they don’t want us.”


When Nirvana agreed to film an episode of MTV’s Unplugged in November 1993, the network execs were giddy over the possibilities. Who would the biggest band in the world bring as a guest? Eddie Vedder? Tori Amos? The guy from Soul Asylum? What they got were two longhaired acid-punks from Arizona. Kurt Cobain had been a fan of the Meat Puppets’ psychedelic hardcore ever since he saw them open for Black Flag as a teenager, and he invited the band’s brotherly duo of Curt and Cris Kirkwood to sit in on a trio of songs from their seminal 1984 album, Meat Puppets II. The suits grumbled, but what were they going to do? Tell the most important musician of his generation to duet with Sting instead? Five months later, Cobain would be dead, and Unplugged in New York would serve as his tombstone. The Meat Puppets, meanwhile, have trudged on, through their own encounters with addiction and death. Earlier this year, the band released its 14th album, Rat Farm. On the occasion of Unplugged’s 20th anniversary, however, we asked the Kirkwoods—and the show’s producer, Alex Coletti—to recall how they wound up stumbling into immortality.

Coletti: I knew the name wasn’t going to send waves of joy down the halls of MTV, but when you have Nirvana onboard already, you don’t need the guest to be Bob Dylan. So Kurt wisely brought in somebody he wanted to shine a light on and sing with, other than just another name for the marquee value. Curt: We spent a week rehearsing in New Jersey, just convening every day. We’d play the songs through kind of roughly. It wasn’t really intense.

ThIngS 1 and 2: The Meat Puppets’ Cris (left) and Curt Kirkwood.

Cris Kirkwood: One night, we were sitting around with, what’s the one guy’s name, the blond guy? From The Kids in the Hall? The gay dude from that show? Anyway, we were sitting around one night…maybe it wasn’t that night. Fuck, I don’t know. It was Cobain’s idea entirely, obviously. Curt Kirkwood: We got asked to support Nirvana on tour in the fall of ’93, when they were doing In Utero. We went out a few weeks with them and got to know them a little bit, and Kurt asked me if we wanted to go up there and play some of our songs they were planning to play on their Unplugged thing. Pretty straightforward. Cris: He brought up that he wanted to do some of these songs off Meat Puppets II during their Unplugged thing, and we were like, “You could certainly do that. Curt can show you how the songs go or whatever.” And then Cobain just took it to the next thing and he was like, “I’m going to have you come on TV with us and do these songs with us.” Curt: We’d been in the studio in the early part of ’93, when London [Records] was trying to figure out what we should do next after Forbidden Places. We’d gotten in there with [Butthole Surfers’] Paul Leary, and we were going to do an acoustic EP and those three songs we had already done. We’d done them acoustically a good number of times, at record stores and what not. Our stuff, there’s some riff rock and some

Cris: The one thing I remember from the practices really clearly is that, one day, Bobcat Goldthwait came by. He was getting ready to go on The Tonight Show. We were sitting around talking about how he wanted to do something memorable, and my suggestion, as I recall, is that he should tip over Jay Leno’s desk. I’m pretty sure he lit the fucking [guest] chair on fire or something. I think that negatively impacted Bobcat’s real career, but it sure makes for a great memory for me.

for having us on”? So I said, “Fucking Nirvana!” And the funny thing about that, I heard that song on the radio one day—and this is straight radio, those people have their standards and whatnot—and all of a sudden, really clearly over straight radio, I go, “Fucking Nirvana!” Curt: I have a kind of overall remembrance of the feeling that, there was us musicians, including Nirvana and Lori [Goldston], the cello player, and there we are, in the little fish tank, and everyone’s pointing. The one thing about [Nirvana] is they’d been through a lot, but they were still a lot like us, in that, I don’t think they considered themselves outsiders as much as, that’s just the way it is. Even in a situation where it’s their show and all that, it’s like being a reverse Wonderland, where you’re going, “Huh huh, look at that! Here we are on MTV!” There’s a cartoon aspect. Coletti: They did three songs together, and two of them made the initial broadcast. All of them made the record. So it wasn’t like we were trying to minimize it. Once it happened, we all realized what a great call it was. Cris: Suddenly, we were getting played on MTV a lot when it aired. It really got played more, unfortunately, after Kurt passed away. But already, the association with those guys didn’t hurt. Curt: The record company, on our part, started taking us more seriously. They had something they could throw at people to turn their heads rather than, “The Meat Puppets are good.” They didn’t know what to do with us. But once you can throw the Nirvana name around, that gave them something to work with.

Cris: I remember a few years ago, it was Coletti: We did this at Sony Music Stu- actually in Oregon—I think it was Eugene— dios on 54th Street, which sadly doesn’t I was standing outside the club, it was a exist anymore. So you’re not coming into, youth center or something, and there were like, the MTV a bunch of kids corporate head- “ iT WaS No Big WhooP. iT and stuff, and quarters. You’re ard some WaS charMiNg. ‘oh, hoW Igirlh etelling coming into this her room where we SWEET, ThEy DoN’T WaNT friend: “ Who’s built this little playing ?” “I uS.’” —cris KirKwood cocoon of a set, think it’s some with drapes Nirvana cover and stuff, so it was a really safe environ- band.” And I’m sure half the crowd thinks ment. It wasn’t intimidating. And they we’re doing Nirvana covers when we play clearly had a relationship, the two bands. If those things. anyone felt uncomfortable, it was me and the crew, because we were in their space Curt: You have to distance yourself from now. We were the ones playing catch-up. I your material. At least I do. I’m not writing don’t remember the brothers feeling shell- stuff—I would say it’s personal, but it’s not shocked or camera shy or any of that. like, “These are my emotions, this is my trip.” I write songs so I have something to Cris: During the practice sessions, I just base my jams on. I like to play guitar, and I played bass. When we did the live thing, like to sing and be the cornerstone, but the I took Krist [Novoselic]’s seat, and I took songs are just songs to me. I like to hear the bass chair, and he had a microphone other people do stuff. I saw that people set up for him. I definitely went ahead and directly after that, and still, sometimes, went, “There’s a microphone here, it’s TV— they think they’re Nirvana songs, but I I’m fucking singing backups.” It wasn’t don’t care. practiced, and to my ears, it sounds like that. Also, at the end, since there was a mic SEE IT: The Meat Puppets play Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with the there, I just wanted to say something. What World Takes, on Wednesday, Nov. 20. 9 do you say? “Hey, I like to thank these guys pm. $15 advance, $17 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



nov. 20-26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek. com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 Wire, Helmet, Chastity Belt

[PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT] When groundbreaking British punk-notpunk band Wire originally disbanded in 1980, it left behind a bank of unrecorded material that rivaled anything the group did on its first three nearperfect records. Hardcore fans knew where to find songs like “Ally in Exile” and “Eels Sang Lino”—the messy, live stopgap Document and Eyewitness— but in March, the band did everyone a favor by releasing a brand-new album of rerecorded and rejiggered versions of what should have been its fourth album. Change Becomes Us is both atmospheric and intensely physical, the sound of an expert art-rock outfit pushing its limits without necessarily amping up the volume. This is how you age gracefully. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $23 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Lupe Fiasco, Stalley, Illmaculate

[HIP-HOP] It wasn’t too long ago that Lupe Fiasco was an “underground” rapper, plying his trade beneath the hip-hop mainstream with socially conscious lyrics and inventive, forwardthinking production. With 2012’s Food

and Liquor II: The Great American Rap Album Pt. 1, he moved away from the politics and toward the Top 40, delivering music with less substance and more glam. That album’s radio single, “Battle Scars,” still showcases Lupe’s liquid rhyming, but the verses are predictable, signaling a left turn in an otherwise quality career. GEOFFREy NuDELMAN. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 9 pm. $35 general admission, $50 reserved balcony seating. 21+.

THURSDAY, NOV. 21 Street Roots Benefit: Todd Snider, Kevn Kinney, Scott McCaughey, Asleigh Flynn, Chris Funk, Artis the Spoonman, Houndstooth, Sue Zalokar

[ROOTS, FOR THE STREET] Beaverton’s favorite songwriter is the shrewdly hilarious Todd Snider, who returns to old stomping grounds from his East Nashville home to headline this civic-minded benefit. Street Roots, Portland’s tenacious, homeless-supporting newspaper, is raising funds in order to shift to weekly publication next year. Fittingly, legendary street performer Artis the Spoonman features prominently on the bill. Also appearing are veteran Kevn (sic) Kinney of



Atlanta’s Drivin N Cryin; Northwest rock guru Scott McCaughey; live-wire performer Ashleigh Flynn, accompanied by Decemberist Chris Funk; deserved buzz-band Houndstooth; and songwriter Sue Zalokar. JEFF ROSENBERG. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $35. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Lunice, Rockie Fresh, B. Bravo

[HIP-HOP CAMEOS] Since 2011, I have been jealous of three men, one of whom is Montreal producer Lunice. It’s not because of his beats, which are fairly ordinary in the alternative hip-hop world, nor because of his fairly extraordinary collaborations with artists like Hudson Mohawke and Rick Ross. I’m jealous because I still can’t get over the summer banger of 2011, Azealia Banks’ “212,” or its subtly sexy video, which features three men, one of whom is Lunice, grooving alongside Banks with some kind of funky train dance. MITCH LILLIE. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $10. 18+.

Dusu Mali

[AFRICAN BLuES] The trance-inducing guitars and elliptical rhythms of Malian assouf music is all the rage these days, thanks to stars like Tinariwen and Bombino, who’ve managed to cross over with international audiences. Dusu Mali is Portland’s homegrown interpretation of a sound typically associated with the nomadic Tuareg people. Coming from America, the music is flecked with bits of blues rock and jam-band funk, but it maintains the essential hypnotizing quality of the stuff imported directly from the Sahara. Tonight, the band celebrates the release of its new album, Never Give Up. MATTHEW SINGER. Goodfoot Lounge, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

MellowHigh, Rustiah

[ODD FuTuRE SPLINTER CELL] In just two years, the Odd Future collective has gone from “the future of hiphop” to an urban Insane Clown Posse, complete with its own music festival, a following of shitty teenagers and increasingly inconsequential releases. MellowHigh is OFWGKTA also-rans Hodgy Beats and Domo Genesis rapping over Left Brain’s post-apocalyptic production. Their self-titled album is totally fine, but it can’t help sound like something tossed off in a single weekend smoke session just to satiate their ADD cult. At the crew’s height, there was a semblance of Wu Tang-like parity among its individual members. Now, if your name’s not Earl or Tyler (or, if you still want to count him, Frank), then it might as well be Cappadonna. MATTHEW SINGER. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

Leigh Marble, There Is No Mountain, Here Come Dots Quasi playing a record-release show for its album, Featuring [ROCKING HORSE] Among the ser“Birds”, at Jackpot Records on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard, in 1998.

“This was the start of the busiest period for Quasi. Janet [Weiss] had joined Sleater-Kinney and they were blasting off, and I was touring with Elliott [Smith], in addition to Quasi’s expanding schedule. Honestly, I was also a little bit of an emotional mess in those days, and my specific memories are a little garbled. Things, I think, were changing pretty quick around then, not just for me personally but for the scene in general. Even Jackpot, now a venerable institution, was a new record store at the time of this photo. Anyway, a couple interesting things jump out at me looking at this now. What were we doing with an accordion? I am playing my old Rocksichord, which within a year or so would have bitten the dust, but which is sort of the sonic signature of the earlier songs. Janet was still carrying her drum hardware around in an old golf bag—a real back-breaker. I think it was an interesting time for Portland music. We were all still just figuring it out. Interesting things do tend to happen in the nebulae before things get figured out and nailed down.” —Quasi singer-keyboardist Sam Coomes. SEE IT: Quasi’s 20th anniversary celebration is at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Blues Control, on Saturday, Nov. 23. 9 pm. $15 advance, $17 day of show. 21+. 30

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

rated thickets of Leigh Marble’s third album, Where the Knives Meet the Rows, “Pony”—a sing-along rocker charging hard from the gate—might initially promise something of a reprieve from the 2012 release’s more haunting themes. But the lyrical dissection of a pickup’s downfall proves not nearly so straightforward as the beat suggests. Alongside a limitededition EP collecting several unreleased tracks, tonight Marble debuts the world premiere of a video starring local singer-songwriter Cora Benesh. Will friendship be magic? JAy HORTON. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 9 pm. Free.

James Blake, Nosaj Thing

[ELECTRO-SOuL] In today’s world, where soul and R&B revivalists are plentiful, singers like James Blake really stand out. His sultry vocals are perfectly paired over classically seductive production. James is out on the road in support of Overgrown, another collection of emotional tracks sure to steam up even the coldest Portland nights. Producer Nosaj Thing crafts his own version of seduction, creating left-of-center electronic beats that bridge the gap between experi-

mental EDM and hip-hop. GEOFFREy NuDELMAN. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 9 pm. $28. All ages.

FRIDAY, NOV. 22 Brett Dennen, Grizfolk

[SINGER-SONGWRITER] Let’s be honest: Brett Dennen is probably not the first person you would choose to take wilderness-survival advice from. Dennen appears to be just as aware of this as you are, but that doesn’t make his latest album, Smoke and Mirrors, any less influenced by his time spent in the mountains working on his fifth release. Verging on Tom Petty one minute before heading into Tegan and Sara-styled pop territory, Smoke and Mirrors drips with nostalgia for the twangy pop of the late ’70s, led by the anthemic first single “Wild Child,” an ode to “good vibes and sunshine,” as Dennen puts it. Continuing to explore themes of being yourself, falling in love and staying forever young—all backed with lilting slide guitar and Dennen’s fingerpicking—the sound isn’t completely unexpected, but for an artist as sturdy as Dennen, that slight tweak in style counts as a reinvention. KAITIE TODD. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Holcombe Waller, Fear No Music

[CHAMBER-FOLK SONG CyCLE] Fresh off last month’s successful appearance with the Oregon Symphony, artsy indie-folk songwriter and performance artist Holcombe Waller again turns to classical instruments to realize his increasingly ambitious musical vision. This time he enlists Portland’s adventurous new-music ensemble FearNoMusic, plus Pink Martini chanteuse China Forbes, for the world premiere of his new, interactive-video enhanced, theatrically staged song cycle, Wayfinders. Waller’s “poetic ruminations” dwell on the theme of human navigation, ranging from ancient sea voyages to contemporary techno-boosted excursions. BRETT CAMPBELL. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm. $15-$40. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.


[MILLENNIAL PuNK] Scottish trio Paws is part of the shoegazing garage-rock movement made popular by the likes of yuck and Veronica Falls. Weaving a sense of disenchantment through its homespun lo-fi rock, Paws embodies the restlessness and discontent of punk, albeit on a softer, more subdued level. It sounds a little like defeat, but that’s the point. The band lost a member during its formative years and the wounds still linger. Newest effort Cokefloat! shows the band honing its craft, a not entirely barbless style of punk that’s a bit more indicative of its generation. MARK STOCK. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Manufactured Superstars, Jamie Meushaw, Tourmaline

[SPACE SHuFFLE] Bradley Roulier and Shawn Sabo, aka Manufactured Superstars, play their frantic mix of trance, house and pop music while wearing NASA space suits. In bigger venues, giant planets and stars dangle from the ceiling, leaving doubts as to why the Denver DJ duo didn’t pick a more gimmicky name to match its gimmicky show. But consider for a moment that Manufactured Superstars have performed at the Kennedy Space Center and Roulier is the founder of Beatport, the definitive online shop for DJs. MITCH LILLIE. The Whiskey Bar, 31 NW 1st Ave., 227-0405. 10 pm. $10. 21+.

Polica, Marijuana Deathsquads

[MIDWEST WEIRD] Recall your first spin of Relayted, the 2011 album from Midwest megagroup Gayngs, and tell yourself with a straight face you weren’t hoping for Bon Iver-doesSade. Rather than being “the next Justin Vernon thing,” the ’80s adultcontemporary pastiche turned out to be visions of the future as por-

tended by Ryan Olson, chief and sonic visionary of Minneapolis label Totally Gross National Product. upon this flotilla Olson has dispatched from the heartland, we have Polica, an icy, almost trip-hop imagining of the course Gayngs charted, and Marijuana Deathsquads, a dual-drummer barrage of warped vocals, pitch-bent synth pulses and deranged squawking courtesy of Olson and rapper P.O.S. It’s berserk electro for leftover Mars Volta enthusiasts and sensual, electronic dream pop for everyone else—sounds like a weird second date to me. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

SATURDAY, NOV. 23 Chris Hillman, Herb Pedersen

[NuDIE SuIT COuNTRy] Trading on a legacy isn’t always the wisest thing for a musician to do, but most musicians don’t have membership in the Byrds and the Flying Burrito Brothers on their résumés. As the last songwriting Burrito standing, Chris Hillman now ranks as a reigning deity among the country-rock set. And with compatriot Herb Pedersen, he’s been performing for the last several decades in a variety of settings, including a stint in the Desert Rose Band. Since whittling down to a duo, they have taken on a more auld-tymey approach, using only guitar and mandolin for instrumentation. Staking out those various country styles over such a stretch of time, these players exhibit a unique determination, especially for guys born and raised in California. DAVE CANTOR. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show, $35 preferred seating. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Brandi Carlile

[SyMPHONIC FOLK] A raspy, cracking voice is not a hallmark most would expect to hear backed up by the Oregon Symphony. Nonetheless, singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile’s ofttender voice is most stirring when she’s snarling, as she does on the opening barnburners of her latest LP, Bear Creek. At times, the album shakes with a ballsy, alt-country gait. At others, the Washingtonian’s folkpop piano ballads feature swooning backing vocals and plenty of “what if” lyrical scenarios. The fact she’s just as likely to wear an eagle bandanna as a formal dress is only further evidence of her genre wanderings. BRANDON WIDDER. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. 7:30 pm. Sold out.

Albert Hammond Jr., Rathbone

[THE BEST STROKE] By now, Strokes fans know better than to expect a “Strokes album” from the former hipster princes of the Lower East Side. Every fourth track on the last two may seem like bones thrown at early adopters, but a few solo records from guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. have made it obvious whose skinny jeans contain all the pop genes. Indeed the “Strokes-iest” of the group, Hammond desperately hangs onto everything we loved about Is This It’s crisp, bonedry drums, Ric Ocasek guitar overdubs and that compressed warmth that flattened verse and chorus into indistinguishable cogs. The essence of Hammond’s familiarity is also the thorn in his side: It’s more of the same, for better or worse. PETE COTTELL. Hawthorne Theatre Lounge, 1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 9 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. 21+.

Pretty Lights

[DuBSOuL] It’s not at all unusual in music for promising artists to forgo college and throw their metaphorical dice at musical success. What is uncommon in the story of Derek Vincent Smith, aka Pretty Lights, is just how successful he’s been. With appearances at Coachella, Electric Zoo, Outside Lands and other festivals all on his résumé, Smith has conquered large stages with his aggressive, sample-based soul-meets-electronica sound. Like RJD2 or DJ Shadow, Pretty Lights has a fondness for mar-





Deltron 3030

[TOMORROW PEOPLE] Thirteen years ago, the first and, until this year, only album from indie-rap supergroup Deltron 3030—producer Dan “The Automator” Nakamura, turntablist Kid Koala and rapper Del tha Funkee Homosapien—sounded well ahead of its time. That was sort of the point, of course: 3030 is the year in which the so-called “rap space opera” takes place. The notion of a hip-hop concept album wasn’t particularly groundbreaking, but the trio’s embrace of sci-fi themes connected with an audience that never thought it could enjoy a rap record. It presaged nerdcore, predicted Gorillaz and, in a way, laid the groundwork for the rise of geek culture in general. In hip-hop terms, though, 2000 is an even more distant time than 3030. As such, Event 2, the group’s long-delayed follow-up, comes off as sort of quaint. It doesn’t help that the guest list, which includes Zack de la Rocha, Mike Patton, Casual of Hieroglyphics and Black Rob of “Whoa!” fame, seems left over from the last record. Still, Nakamura’s production remains vividly cinematic, and when it comes to rhyming in nonsensical technobabble, there’s no better MC than Del. MATTHEW SINGER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 345-7892. 9 pm Thursday, Nov. 21. Sold out.

rying old vinyl clips to big, compelling drum patterns. Newest record A Color Map of the Sun bears a more modern edge, dressing up his beloved old samples with synthesizers and bits of dubstep. MARK STOCK. Memorial Coliseum, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 235-8771. 7:30 pm. $33 advance, $38 day of show. All ages.

Neurosis, Tragedy, the Body, Atriarch

[LEGION OF DOOM] Oakland’s Neurosis has been portending the apocalypse since about 1985. It hasn’t happened yet, but with each new, massive record, the world inches closer to destruction. The latest, 2012’s Steve Albini-produced Honor Found in Decay, is another monolithic slab of densely arranged industrialized metal. The peaks are bigger and the valleys wider than ever before, a topography carved from quaking guitars, thundering percussion and moments of unsettling quietude. MATTHEW SINGER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

Fireballs of Freedom, Sex Crime, Piss Test, Red Shadows

[THE XXX-MEN] Currently working on a new album tentatively scheduled for late spring release, hardliving legends Fireballs of Freedom have returned from a long hiatus tighter than ever before, the greasy power of their classic sleaze-rock blueprint melting the faces of the still-devout faithful over a handful of comeback shows last year. For the first time since 2005, the Portland-via-Missoula boys have even recorded a new track for the fourth incarnation of local label Jonny Cat’s Mutant

Party 7-inch compilation, alongside garage-punk compatriots Red Shadows, Sex Crimes and Piss Test. JAY HORTON. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Julianna Barwick, Hannah Epperson

[NONDENOMINATIONAL HYMMS] Julianna Barwick is a Nordic siren. She’s coming off a tour with Iceland’s beloved atmospheric rockers Sigur Rós. And her latest effort, Nepenthe, is a glowing, gentle record featuring some of Reykjavik’s finest, including string ensemble Amiina, members of Múm and a girls choir. Something akin to a spiritual experience, the record features wave after wave of looped, sky-walking vocals, thawing melodies and subtle, ambient tinkering. Some shows just seem tailor-made for the Old Church’s hallowed walls, and this is undoubtedly one of them. MARK STOCK. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 8 pm. $13 advance, $16 day of show. All ages.

SUNDAY, NOV. 24 Freedy Johnston

[SINGER-SONGWRITER] “I love life,” says Freedy Johnston on his website’s tour page, announcing his weeklong residency at the Crystal Hotel right here in Portland, which commences tonight. (And no, he doesn’t say that to all venues.) You should love life, too: Admission is free to all the shows. The Kansas-born New Yorker should have no dearth of material to choose from over the run, with seven albums of finely crafted songs under his belt, dating back

CONT. on page 33 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013




Mountain Sounds’ Tim Hoyt (left) and Franc Castillejos.

MOUNTAIN SOUNDS THURSDAY, NOV. 21 Mountain Sounds’ Tim Hoyt has a bone to pick with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. “As an American citizen, all the immigration laws have done are slow me down personally and try to stop me from doing the thing I wanted to do,” he says. The thing he wanted to do was make music with Franc Castillejos, a Guatemalan native and longtime musical collaborator of Hoyt’s who lost his student visa several years ago. Unable to procure re-entry for Castillejos, the pair decided to take their project overseas, and spent three months recording in a makeshift studio in the mountains west of Guatemala City. The result is Mountain Sounds’ self-titled debut LP, a collection of stately indie ballads showcasing Castillejos’ delicate vocals. “It definitely wasn’t the most convenient way to make a record,” Hoyt says, “but now that it’s happened, I would definitely do it again.” Castillejos and Hoyt first met in Longwood, Fla., where they played together in a band until Castillejos completed college. He returned to Guatemala, and Hoyt ended up in Portland. Over time, Hoyt felt unfulfilled creatively and reached out to Castillejos. The two started exchanging ideas, swapping demos long-distance and plotting an opportunity to record together. But it quickly became apparent that the United States, with its strict border restrictions, would not be an option. “You can apply for an artist visa to enter, but you have to be, like, Coldplay,” Hoyt says. “So, I decided to quit my job temporarily and go there.” The duo ended up in an abandoned orphanage previously operated by Castillejos’ father, high in the Cordillera Alux mountain range. Despite its inconveniences, the rugged setting added an unorthodox spin to Mountain Sounds’ debut, and allowed its members to focus entirely on the creative process. “In Portland, it would have been impossible to remove myself from ‘PDX life’: the bars, people, other types of music,” Hoyt says. “We were so isolated that we were completely free from distractions. I’m certain that contributed to what we ended up with.” Despite the anticipation and urgency underlying the pair’s recording time, the tracks on Mountain Sounds are unhurried. Castillejos’ Ben Gibbard-esque vocals evoke a nostalgia and reflection that mirrors his experience as an artist with dual homes and identities. Since completion of the record, Castillejos has been able to secure a temporary travel visa to take the album on tour. Mountain Sounds will pack cross-country stops into his 90 allotted days. The group’s first show together, however, took place in Guatemala, and more Latin American tour dates are already in the works for 2014. “We are going to settle with this for the time being, and then work on the artist visa thing,” Hoyt says. “But to have Franc here in the States again...I feel like we’ve really accomplished something. This whole experience has been really liberating in the sense that I’ve realized that, well, you really can do whatever you want.” GRACE STAINBACK.

U.S. immigration laws wouldn’t let Tim Hoyt and Franc Castillejos make an album together. So they headed for the hills.

SEE IT: Mountain Sounds plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Golden Retriever, Billygoat and Valise, on Thursday, Nov. 21. 8:30 pm. $5 advance, $7 day of show. 21+. 32

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

SUNDAY-TUESDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC. to 1990. The last of those came out nearly four years ago, so hopefully he has a passel of new tunes to share as well. Odds are they’ll be sweetly sung, liltingly melodic and lyrically dense-yet-dextrous as ever. JEFF ROSENBERG. Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel, 303 SW 12th Ave., 9722670. 7 pm. Free. Freedy Johnston plays Al’s Den nightly through Friday, Nov. 30. 21+.

Monster Magnet, Royal Thunder, Zodiac, Ultra Goat

[SPACE LORDS] Dave Wyndorf was no young pup when he formed Monster Magnet in 1989. Forged in a miasma of psychedelic smoke and molten grunge, the band created a minor myth, then major labels stoked the flame higher, like a devil sitting on Wyndorf’s shoulder, egging him on with leggy women and bags of gold. The ride didn’t last forever—at least not in the U.S. For the past decade, Monster Magnet has been selling out shows in Europe. Now back for a full U.S. tour, the band also has come full circle, with a self-produced, psychedelic return to form, Last Patrol. NATHAN CARSON. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

Still Caves, Night Mechanic

[SNEERING LO-FI] There’s a comment on Still Caves’ Bandcamp page that reads: “My friend Shane said it was good. And he’s not a liar.” The local outfit’s debut EP floats in a sea of scuzzy, whirling guitars and relentless tom-bashing, doused with enough crunching reverb to nearly mask drummer Travis Visscher’s muttered vocals. You know what? Shane is right, it is good. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

TUESDAY, NOV. 26 Morbid Angel, Season of Suffering, World of Lies, Chronological Injustice

[DEATH METAL] Once the most revered name in death metal, Morbid Angel is working to pull itself from its second major career slump. The first was dispelled when David Vincent reprised his role as demonic frontman and bass-slinger. Then the band’s extraordinary drummer, Pete Sandoval, left due to back injuries and in 2011, Morbid Angel recorded an album without him that was panned by critics and loathed by fans. Licking their wounds, Vincent and guitarist Trey Azagthoth are now using the 20th anniversary of their most successful album as an excuse to perform Covenant in its entirety, which is is as close as we’ll get to an apology for the band’s past sins. NATHAN CARSON. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Balkan Beat Box, Delhi 2 Dublin

[GLOBAL GOULASH] It’s no coincidence that after Balkan Beat Box frontman Tomer Yosef was mistaken for a terrorist and detained by the TSA, the Israeli-New York trio got all political on its hard-charging last album, Give. Its stripped-down sound—which thrust the album’s angry lyrics, inspired by Occupy, the Arab Spring and other global uprisings, front and center—might seem a bit thinner than before. But rest assured, BBB’s danceable, saxophone-juiced compound of hip-hop, electronica, dancehall, dub, rock and Middle Eastern and East European influences packs as much punch as ever live. BRETT CAMPBELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm Wednesday, Nov. 20. $20. All ages.

Celin and Celino Romero

[GUITAR DYNASTY] If I say, “guitar” you might say, “Les Paul,” “Hendrix” or “Wes Montgomery.”

But in the classical music world, the response would almost universally be “Romero.” For more than half a century, the Spanish family has been synonymous with classical guitar, touring widely and popularizing music of the Spanish masters. Celin Romero founded the dynasty’s celebrated quartet with his father, Celedonio, and his brothers after the family moved from Spain to Southern California in 1957. His son, Celino, joined in 1990. This Portland Classic Guitar recital brings father and son to town for a duet performance of guitar classics and a master class. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park Ave., 228-7219. 8 pm. Friday, Nov. 22. $30-$49.


Portland Columbia Symphony Orchestra

[TERPSICHOREAN TUBA] For this concert, the Columbia Symphony Orchestra borrows a couple assets from that other Portland orchestra. Namely, Oregon Symphony pops conductor Jeff Tyzik, whose Four Dances for Tuba and Orchestra pairs him with a familiar figure, OSO tuba titan Ja’Ttik Clark. The rest of the concert goes Russian, with the ever-popular “Polovtsian Dances” from Borodin’s 1890 opera Prince Igor, music from Khachaturian’s 1954 ballet Spartacus and one of the 20th century’s most colorful masterpieces, Stravinsky’s breakthrough ballet score, The Firebird. BRETT CAMPBELL. Mt. Hood Community College, 26000 Stark St., Gresham, 491-6422. 3 pm Sunday, Nov. 24. $10-$35.


SONS OF HUNS BANISHMENT RITUAL (EASY RIDER) [STONER METAL] They probably won’t take this as a compliment, but Sons of Huns really are a bunch of charmers. That’s sort of the nature of being a metal band in Portland. This ain’t exactly Birmingham, England, after all. It’s hard to scowl convincingly coming from the greenest city in America, where the chief industry is bike-repair shops. Sons of Huns, smartly, lack any put-upon menace. Instead, they sound like kids worshipping at the altar of their blacklight posters. Banishment Ritual, the trio’s debut full-length, is denim-wrapped, smoking-bong, “mess-with-the-minotaur, get-the-horns” metal, delivered with the zeal of a championship air-guitar squad and the skill of musicians dexterous enough to actually produce rollingthunder riffs of their own. And it is as fun as the album cover—a space portrait straight off the side of a ’70s conversion van—suggests. You can probably guess the influences. Indeed, these Sons are scions of the primordial sludge of Blue Cheer, the amphetaminechug of Motörhead and the groovy doom of prime Sabbath. The lyrics are mostly sci-fi fan-fic, croaked in a gravelly growl by guitarist Peter Hughes. The riffs blur into one another at times, but the raw production keeps the band planted in the basement—which is right where they belong. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Sons of Huns play Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., with Gaytheist, Monogamy Party and Vultures in the Sky, on Saturday, Nov. 23. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

ADVENTURE GALLEY ANYWHERE THAT’S WILD (INTERNET PIRACY) [GLOW WAVE] At first, you would’ve been hard-pressed to make any connections between Portland sextet Adventure Galley and Arcade Fire. But when Win Butler and company reinvented themselves earlier this year, the comparisons suddenly weren’t far-fetched. Now, the two bands are aligned in their love of big, dance-y, New Wave-inspired music. Adventure Galley got there first, though. The group has been turning out its self-described “glow-wave” for about five years. Anywhere That’s Wild, the band’s debut full-length, lives up to the promise of its infectious 2010 EP. It is a polished, shimmering collection of party-starting pop. “Addict” is an inescapably catchy mix of four-on-the-floor percussion and straightforward keys. “Diane” showcases Adventure Galley’s dance-punk prowess, while “Marooned” stresses a love of the synthesizer. Borrowing prominently from acts like the Killers and countless ‘80s powerhouses, Anywhere That’s Wild can seem derivative at times. But even when the clap tracks, repetitive synths and fauxEnglish accents start to tire, the record still works, pulling at the hips with what’s effective and familiar. MARK STOCK. SEE IT: Adventure Galley plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Minden, Exotic Club and Lassi, on Wednesday, Nov. 20. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

























Offer good through 12/17/13 34

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek. com. For more listings, check out

[NOV. 20-26] Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, David Lipkind

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo

Alberta Rose Theatre

WED. NOV. 20 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, John Ward

Alberta Street Public House

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Wire, Helmet, Chastity Belt

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Meat Puppets, the World Takes

1036 NE Alberta St. Alexander’s Real Time Band

Duff’s Garage

Amadeus Manor

East End

2122 SE Sparrow St., Milwaukie Open Mic


1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. NW Harvest: Bibster Beats, Ewok, Public Drunken Sex, S!lent

Biddy McGraw’s Irish Pub 6000 NE Glisan St. Stringed Migration

Blackwater Records

1925 SE Morrison St. Hellshock, Problems, Long Knife, Chemicals


320 SE 2nd Ave. The Ghost Inside, We Rise the Tides, Above the Broken, the Odious, An Effortless Approach

Brasserie Montmartre

203 SE Grand Ave. Phone Call, Seance Crasher, Dolphinity

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Grizzly Adams Family, Trio Subtonic

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Rockstar Karaoke

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Aaron Carter, Amanda Jones


1001 SE Morrison St. Adventure Galley, Minden, Exotic Club, Lassi


112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. A Happy Death, Cadaver Dogs

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and the Cowdogs, Miller and Sasser’s Twelve Dollar Band

Langano Lounge

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Amos Val, Muscle And Marrow, Mufassa


2958 NE Glisan St. Simon Tucker Blues Band, Timberbound Project

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic


6605 SE Powell Blvd Pete Ford Band Jam

McMenamins Edgefield 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Steve Bradley and Scott Akers

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Billy D

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. @DadBoner Live

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. ZZ Ward

Revival Drum Shop 1465 NE Prescott St.

Jesse Mejia, Scott Cutshall’s Phrasology

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Lupe Fiasco, Stalley, Illmaculate

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Jerimiah Clark

Alberta Street Public House

Sky Club at Ankeny’s Well

1036 NE Alberta St. The Paul Brainard Super Band

The Blue Diamond

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Twisted Whistle

50 SW 3rd Ave. Gaea Soul

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Hot Tea Cold

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. David Rothman, Michael Barnes

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Guy Dilly and the Twin Powers

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio? Show: Pat Kearns

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Brad Parsons

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band, Eugenie Jones


Alhambra Theatre


1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera

Artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Songwriter Roundup

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Fake Beach, Two Visions, Violent Psalms, the Debts

Biddy McGraw’s Irish Pub 6000 NE Glisan St. Train River


320 SE 2nd Ave. Lunice, Rockie Fresh, B. Bravo

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. John Teply

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave.

430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. VJ Night Flight

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. William Fitzsimmons, Denison Witmer

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Loretta James, Walker Smith Band

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Dungeon Brothers, IBQT

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Dusu Mali

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge


2958 NE Glisan St. Midwestern, Dust & Thirst, Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters


6605 SE Powell Blvd Ben Rice Colossal B3 Trio

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Ryan Cabrera, Keaton Simons, Alexander Tragedy

McMenamins Edgefield 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Porkchop Trio

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Mexican Gunfight

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Old Growth SoulJourner, Babylon Star Destroyer, Instigatah

McMenamins’ Kennedy School

Hawthorne Theatre

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Band of Heathens, Joe Fletcher

1507 SE 39th Ave. Mellowhigh, Rustiah


1001 SE Morrison St. Mountain Sounds, Golden Retriever, billygoat, Valise

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant, Julie Collura, Heather Keizur


112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Leigh Marble, There Is No Mountain, Here Come Dots

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. The Pickups


626 SW Park Ave.

1635 SE 7th Ave. Nick Moss

Landmark Saloon

3000 NE Alberta St. Street Roots Benefit: Todd Snider, Kevn Kinney, Scott McCaughey, Asleigh Flynn, Chris Funk, Artis the Spoonman, Houndstooth, Sue Zalokar

Chapel Pub

5736 NE 33rd Ave. The Get Ahead

Mississippi Studios

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St. Lustful Monks

Red and Black Cafe 400 SE 12th Ave. Wood Spider, Death Rattle

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. James Blake, Nosaj Thing


315 SE 3rd Ave. Nobunny

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Magic Mouth, Jeni Wren

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Jill Cohn

Sky Club at Ankeny’s Well

50 SW 3rd Ave. Soundscape Thursdays: Bodie, Konkord, Julius Major, Final Frequency, Firie, PIA!!, Ryan Frakes, Tim Hulscher

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Starlight Standard Time

Urban Wine Works 1315 NE Fremont St. Patrick Haley


232 SW Ankeny St. Hibou, Tender Age

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Paula Byrne

West Cafe

1201 SW Jefferson St. Alan Jones Academy Jazz Jam

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Josh Berwanger Band, Ryan Traster

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Dan Wilensky Band

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. 3Oh!3, Wallpaper, The Summer Set, New Beat Fund

FRI. NOV. 22 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Brett Dennen, Grizfolk

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Holcombe Waller, Fear No Music

Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Alexa Wiley and the Wilderness

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Simon Tucker Group, Device Grips, Sean Anonymous (theater); Northbound Rain (lounge)


1314 NW Glisan St. Dan Diresta Quartet

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Mannheim Steamroller

Artichoke Community Music

1033 NW 16th Ave. Year of the Raven, Sluagh, Mursa, Doomsower

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Coffeehouse

Star Bar

Ash Street Saloon

639 SE Morrison St. Guantanamo Baywatch, Therapists

225 SW Ash St. PDX, DJ Biggs

Star Theater

2201 N Killingsworth St. James Faretheewell and the Foolhardy, Dennis Elmer Trio

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Ego Likeness, Inertia, Servitor, Myrrh Larsen

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Cut 45, Victory & Associates, Beach Party

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. SuS Quartet

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Santino Cadiz

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke From Hell

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

HAIR METAL: Monster Magnet plays Chris the Hawthorne Theatre on Sunday, Nov. 24. Mosley, Seffarine

Tony Starlight’s


13 NW 6th Ave. Deltron 3030, Del the Funky Homosapien, Dan the Automator, DJ Kid Koala


Traindodge, Self Evident, The Grown Men, System & Station.

Beaterville Cafe

Biddy McGraw’s Irish Pub

6000 NE Glisan St. Gravel, Jack Dwyer & Ellie Hakanson


320 SE 2nd Ave. Walter and the Conqueror, Symptoms, Payoff, Medium Sized Kids, Right Your Wrongs

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Kerry Politzer Trio

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon 6835 SW Macadam Ave. SofaKings

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Paws

CONT. on page 36 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



SIGN up for our weekly NewSletter aNd be eNtered to wIN a $100 GIft card to

MUSIC CALENDAR Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Rich Halley

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Randy Starr


350 W Burnside St. Souvenir Driver, Foreign Resort, Soft Shadows, Lubec

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Rock Out With Your Yacht Out

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. 2nd Annual British Blues Explosion

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Pictorials, Future Liars

Go to


1800 E Burnside St. The Keplers

Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Mustaphamond, Order of the Gash, Tyrants

Ford Food and Drink

2505 SE 11th Ave. Christopher Hayes, Daniel Mateo

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Road Finn Doxie


801 NE Broadway Bomb Pots, Yo Adrian, Fake Beach, Secnd Best, Mr. Tang

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

NOV. 20-26

When Vanity Kills, Jet Force Gemini, Sugar Tits

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Finntroll, Blackguard, Metasatoll, Ritual Healing, Sarcalogos

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. David Evans, Randy Porter, Tom Wakeling, Todd Strait (Stan Getz tribute)

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. We Are Brothers, Mosey Walker, Activity Universal

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Bart Ferguson & the Edward Stanley Band

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Bling Theatre

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi


112 SW 2nd Ave. Coming Up Threes

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Pura Vida Band, Down Home Music

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Hillstomp, Department of Gold, Trevor Jones

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Record Room Benefit/ Auction/Final Show: Thrones, Sedan

Rock Bottom Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. Edewaard

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Morgan Page, Beltek, Topher Jones

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Pete Krebs & His Portland Playboys

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Antje Dukevot, Amanda Breese, Jenna Ellefson


Kelly’s Olympian

1033 NW 16th Ave. The Bloodtypes, Denizenz, Young Fast Scientific, the Nervous

Landmark Saloon

Star Theater

426 SW Washington St. Pheasant, Johnny and the Bells, Us On Roofs 4847 SE Division St. Countryside Ride, Sam Yale Country Band

13 NW 6th Ave. Hot Buttered Rum

Langano Lounge

720 SE Hawthorne Axe Murder Boys


The Blue Monk

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Uve La Rog 2958 NE Glisan St. Don DiLego, the Darlin’ Blackbirds, Ducky Pig

The Analog

3341 SE Belmont St. Those Willows, Elk, Brette and Blake



DIDJA EVER NOTICE…?: Harvey’s Comedy Club (436 NW 6th Ave., 241-0338, has no problem dating itself. If it did, the owners would’ve taken down the multiple autographed photos of Pauly Shore, the poster advertising a holiday show hosted by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and the headshots of goofy-looking white dudes whose standup career was retired alongside mullets and suspenders. Before the Portland comedy boom, Harvey’s was the only laugh factory in town. Instead of adjusting to the shifting landscape—with showcases popping up at every bar and a hip competitor, Helium, opening in 2010—the club apparently decided to freeze time. But on a recent Wednesday night, a decent-sized crowd—a mix of middle-aged couples and PSU students who haven’t yet traveled to the east side—paid $15 to guffaw at a guy beatboxing sex noises. And y’know what? It was a relief. It wasn’t edgy, it wasn’t “alt.” After seeing too many comics mumble about abortion and mistake being awkward for an actual act, hearing a professionally delivered bit about energy drinks becomes a simple pleasure. When everyone’s trying to be punk, it’s nice to hear a solid bar band kick out “Slow Ride” once in a while—or, in the case of Harvey’s, a guy who looks like your dad make jokes about his ass hair. MATTHEW SINGER. 36

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20 9pm. 21 & Over



9pm (doors open at 8pm). All Ages


FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22 9pm. 21 & Over


SAT A URDAY, NOVEMBER 23 AT 9pm. 21 & Over


8pm (doors open at 7:30pm). All Ages


bingo!!! A benefit for chelsi Grindel

HALF A MAN: Albert Hammond Jr. plays the Hawthorne Theatre Lounge on Saturday, Nov. 23. The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Bear & Moose, Charts, Hey Lover

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Splintered In Her Head

The Old Church

Artichoke Community Music

Packard Browne, Big Mo, Samarei, Rey Totem, Slim Pickens Experiment, Joy Pearson

Beaterville Cafe

Kenton Club

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Brooks Robertson 2201 N Killingsworth St. Michael Henchman, Paul Mauer

1422 SW 11th Ave. Samantha Kushnick, Anna & the Underbelly, Jeffrey Martin

Biddy McGraw’s Irish Pub

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Manufactured Superstars, Jamie Meushaw, Tourmaline


232 SW Ankeny St. Souvenir Driver, The Foreign Resort, Soft Shadows, Lubec

Vie de Boheme

128 NE Russell St. Polica, Marijuana Deathsquads

Bravo Lounge

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

1422 SW 11th Ave. Julianna Barwick, Hannah Epperson

626 SW Park Ave. Trash Can Joe

8560 SE Division St. Britnee Kellogg, Virgo Rising

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon

510 NW 11th Ave. Folsom

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Blackwitch Pudding, Black Snake, Vanguard


350 W Burnside St. Gaytheist, Sons of Huns, Monogamy Party, Vultures In The Sky

Doug Fir Lounge

SAT. NOV. 23 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, Scott Law

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Portland Soundcheck: Samsel and the Skirt, Joseph, Sanjaya Malakar, Beautiful Eulogy, Haley Johnson, Brant Colella, Sarah Billings, J Poetic, Pending Black

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Chris Hillman, Herb Pedersen

Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Chervona

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Miracle Falls, the Dandelyons, the Verner Pantons, DJ Ol’ Sippy


1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 1037 SW Broadway Brandi Carlile

The Know

2958 NE Glisan St. Ridgerunners: Jim Boyer, Lynn Conover & Dan Haley

Camellia Lounge

Wonder Ballroom

3341 SE Belmont St. Hosmanek

Brasserie Montmartre

White Eagle Saloon

800 NW 6th Ave. Ellen Whyte, Gene & Jean

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Mister Tang, Lady Wolf

The Blue Monk

2026 NE Alberta St. Fireballs of Freedom, Sex Crime, Piss Test, Red Shadows

1530 SE 7th Ave. Ojos Feos

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

Langano Lounge

720 SE Hawthorne Very Little Daylight, Cement Season, Ghetto Hexes, Cold Troll


6000 NE Glisan St. Yur Daddy, Jenny Sizzler

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Rockin’ Piano PArty: Jorge Ramirez

836 N Russell St. James London, Robb Benson & the Sheik, Julia Massey and the Five Finger Discount

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Blood Cobra, Arcweld

The Analog

830 E Burnside St. Quasi, Blues Control

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Karen Lovely Band

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Skerik’s Bandalabra with Carly Meyers

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Albert Hammond, Jr., Rathbone

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Heart Like Owl, Lane Fernando, Jeff Donovan, Oh Bruni

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Yachtsmen, Michelle DeCourcy

1332 W Burnside St. Marv Ellis and WE Tribe, Eclectic Approach, Jon Davidson

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern 10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Strawberry Rune

Memorial Coliseum 1401 N Wheeler Ave. Pretty Lights

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sarah Gwen Band, Kate White Band

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Federale, Denver

Portland State University Smith Ballroom

1825 SW Broadway The Green Note, the Portland Timbre, High Altotude

Rock Bottom Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. The Junebugs

Roseland Theater


1033 NW 16th Ave. Mike and the Flintettes, the Cry!, Loud Eyes


St. David’s Episcopal Church

112 SW 2nd Ave. Coming Up Threes

Kelly’s Olympian 426 SW Washington St.

2800 SE Harrison St. Portland Peace Choir, Sky in the Road

PoP-A-Shot -A-Shot • Pinb PinbAll • Skee-b Skee-bAll Air hockey • Free Wi-Fi

3120 N Williams Ave. Progress Band, Dogheart, Echo Pearl Varsity, David Goodman

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Jacob Merlin Band

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Spanish Galleons, The Protons, Bitch School, Muddy River Nightmare Band

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Stolen Sweets

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Lesser Bangs, Like Years

SUN. NOV. 24 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

3000 NE Alberta St. Broads on Broadway: Portland Lesbian Choir

50 SW 3rd Ave. Madame De Sade’s Aerial Theatre - Surreal De Sade, Orchid Souris Rouge, Charity Marchandt, Jon Lumus, Twyla



The Waypost

Secret Society Ballroom

Sky Club at Ankeny’s Well

1033 NW 16TH AVE. (971) 229-1455

2621 SE Clinton St. Miller & Sasser

303 SW 12th Ave. Freedy Johnston

116 NE Russell St. Strangled Darlings, Denim Wedding, Planes On Paper, Jenny Finn Orchestra

Falafel House: 3 to Late–Night All Ages Shows: Every Sunday 8–11pm Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy: Saturday @ 3pm WITHIN SPITTING DI DISTANCE OF THE T PEARL P

The Press Club

8 NW 6th Ave. Neurosis, Tragedy, the Body, Atriarch

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

The Old Church


Proceeds from bingo this week will go towards chelsi Grindel’s medical bills. chelsi was injured in a bonfire accident in october that left her with third-degree burns over much of her body, and she has no insurance coverage. bingo winners will receive their choice of one of several donated prizes.

Alberta Rose Theatre


1314 NW Glisan St. Matices, Ryan Walsh

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 1037 SW Broadway A Musical Feast: Oregon Symphony, Pacific Youth Choir

Blackwater Records 1925 SE Morrison St. Damages, Wounds


320 SE 2nd Ave. Polar Bear Club, Citizen, Defeat the Low, Diamond Youth, Sainthood Reps

p. 53

CONT. on page 39 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


MUSIC MILLENNIUM’S IN-STORE PERFORMANCES ZZ WARD WEDNESDAY, 11/20 @ 7 PM Ward’s honey-smoked vocals and soulful lyrics ensnare you from the opening moments of the stomping title track of her newest album, Dirty Shine. She holds you in hypnotic sway clear through the final notes of the cool, R&B-flavored “365 Days.”





Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

SPECIAL RELEASES INCLUDE: Bob Dylan - Side Tracks (LP) Elvis Costello & The Roots - Wise Up: Thought Remixes And Reworks (CD) Flaming Lips - Peace Sword (CD)/(LP) Foals - CCTV Sessions (LP) Grateful Dead - Family Dog At The Great Highway (LP) Nirvana - In Utero 2013 Mix (LP) Puscifer - Puscifer's 8-Ball Bail Bonds--The Berger Barns Live In Phoenix (LP) U2 - Ordinary Love (10-inch Vinyl) Low / Shearwater - Stay / Novacane (LP) Robert Glasper Experiment - Porter Chops Glasper (10-inch Vinyl) Rolling Stones - Got LIVE If You Want It (7-inch Vinyl) Rush - The Garden (10-inch Picture Disc) Jack Johnson - Live at Third Man Records 6-15-13 (LP) Replacements - All Shook Down (LP)

nov. 20-26 5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam

Mississippi Studios

Crystal Ballroom

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Still Caves, Night Mechanic


1401 N Wheeler Ave. Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Doug Fir Lounge

600 E Burnside St. Hurry Up, the Ghost Ease

East End

1033 NW 16th Ave. Kazumis, Lahontan Cutthroat, Taint Misbehavin, Thunder Goat

1332 W Burnside St. Closely Watched Trains 350 W Burnside St. Jet Black Pearl 830 E Burnside St. Norman, the Hugs, Old Age (9 pm); Linda Hornbuckle (2:30 pm) 203 SE Grand Ave. Angela V

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Monster Magnet, Royal Thunder, ZODIAC, Ultra Goat

Kaul Auditorium at Reed College

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Portland Baroque Orchestra Concert: The Concerto Grosso


112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley, Irish Sessions


2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers

Lincoln Hall, Portland State University 1620 SW Park Ave. Jean-Efflam Bavouzet

McMenamins Edgefield 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Julie McCarl and Bodacious

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Hungry Hungry Hip Hop, Yaquina Bay

Moda Center



The Conga Club

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Suite 102 VYBZ Reggae Night

The Know

Metal Mondays

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Global Folk Club: Andrea Wild

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session


112 SW 2nd Ave. Pat Buckley

Kelly’s olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs


2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens, Portland Country Underground

2026 NE Alberta St. The Singing Knives, the Cedar Shakes, James Dean Kindle and the Eastern Oregon Players

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom


McMenamins Edgefield

232 SW Ankeny St. Grandhorse, Callow, Paulo Zappoli

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Jim Creek, Dryland Farmers Band

Mon. noV. 25 Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs


350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Keeter Stuart, Allison Rice

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Modernist

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St.

1332 W Burnside St. The Estranged, Arctic Flowers 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Skip vonKuske’s Groovy Wallpaper

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Bob Shoemaker

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Howe Gelb, Houndstooth

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Pub at the End of the Universe


co u r t e sy o f pa n ac h e b o o k i n g

Clyde’s Prime Rib


232 SW Ankeny St. Memory Boys, Ever Ending Kicks

TUES. noV. 26 Bravo Lounge

8560 SE Division St. Majr-D

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Hugs

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Morbid Angel, Season of Suffering, World of Lies, Chronological Injustice

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Lisa Forkish


2958 NE Glisan St. Bob Shoemaker, Lindsie Feathers, Olivia Duffy, Tobias Berblinger, Ryan Massay, Jackstraw

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Americana Round-Up: Johnny Payola’s Hayride

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Celeste Amadee, Karyn Ann

Velo Cult

1969 NE 42nd Ave. Gold Diggers

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Hunter Paye, Paleo, Will West, The Druthers

4107 SE 28th Ave. Open Mic

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Levon’s Helmet, Acid Fast, Nervous, Abolitionist

SiDE PRoFiLE: Julianna Barwick plays the old Church on Saturday, nov. 23.


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



WED. NOV. 20 Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Salsa: DJ Alberton

Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Ramophone


231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Seleckta YT

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Wednesday Swing

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Battles

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix: Labwerx, Mike Gong, Bliphop Junkie


1033 NW 16th Ave. Queer Night: DJ Bitch Slap

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Wess Texas

736 SE Grand Ave. Cooky Parker, Icarus

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Bad Wizard

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. DJ Aquaman’s Soul Stew

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJ Nate C.


1001 SE Morrison St. Laid Out: Gossip Cat, DJ Mercedes, DJ Huf n’ Stuf, Misti Miller

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jonny Jewels

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. SkullfucK: DJ Horrid


1465 NE Prescott St. Turk Mali

SAT. NOV. 23 Ash Street Saloon

SUN. NOV. 24 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Linkus EDM

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Super Cardigan Brothers

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Mike-A-Nay

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Danger Zone: Acid Rick, Alan Park

MON. NOV. 25 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Dog Daze


231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Henry Dark

CC Slaughters

The Firkin Tavern

The Lovecraft

Beech St. Parlor

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ Bradly

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon: DJ Straylight, DJ Backlash

412 NE Beech St. DJ Dad Jeans


231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mellow Cee

1465 NE Prescott St. Champagne Jam

THURS. NOV. 21 Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Magic Beans


231 SW Ankeny St. Studyhall: DJ Suga Shane

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave. Modern(ist), DJ Troubled Youth, Ryan Biornstad

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Safi


220 SW Ankeny St. Bounce: Tourmaline, Valen

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Synthicide: Tom Jones, Erica Jones, Jared White, Luke Buser


1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Maxamillion

FRI. NOV. 22 Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ One Crate


231 SW Ankeny St. Cloud City Collective

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Sound Glitter with DJ Peter Calandra

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ HWY 7

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. 80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

Dig a Pony

225 SW Ash St. DOOMstravaganza: DJ Ambush, Al-One, London Victory Club, Ethel Cee, Mars Five

1937 SE 11th Ave. Eye Candy VJs


NOV. 20-26


219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

Club 21

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Emerson Lyon

Star Bar

Bossanova Ballroom

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday: DJ Nefarious


The Lovecraft

722 E Burnside St. Jai Ho: DJ Prashant 320 SE 2nd Ave. Blowpony

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Come As You Are: 90s Dance Flashback

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Freaky Outty

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Clap Trap: DJ Gregarious

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Roxy’s Ego Hour


1001 SE Morrison St. Club Crooks: DJ Izm, Dev From Above, Mr. Marcus


116 SE Yamhill St. Pretty Lights Afterparty: BreakScience Live, Ocaban, PRSN 8, Mr. Wu

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures: DJ Waisted, DJ Anais Ninja


1465 NE Prescott St. Tony Remple

TUES. NOV. 26 Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Jimbo


231 SW Ankeny St. Soundstation Tuesdays: DJ Instigatah, Snackmaster DJ

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Tango Tuesday

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ Thomas

Dig a Pony

Star Bar

736 SE Grand Ave. Team Atkins

The Conga Club

835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Highway 7

Eagle Portland

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Suite 102 Tropical Saturday Salsa

East End

The Lovecraft


421 SE Grand Ave. Darkness Descends: DJ Grim Ripper

The Matador

1967 W Burnside St DJ Drew Groove

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Evan Alexander, Rubin Sarafinchan


1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Swag

203 SE Grand Ave. DJ Two-Armed Tom 6605 SE Powell Blvd DJ Easy Finger

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Plucky

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne S.Y.N.T.


1465 NE Prescott St. DJ El Dorado

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



Nov. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON ( Dance: AARON SPENCER ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:

being young and in love, he has all the power of a hypnotist. REBECCA JACOBSON. The Headwaters, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 567-8309. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays and 3 pm Sundays through Dec. 1. No show on Thanksgiving. $12-$25 sliding scale.



All Things Holiday

Northwest Senior Theatre presents a musical variety show. Alpenrose Dairy Opera House, 6149 SW Shattuck Road, 227-2003. 2 pm Wednesday-Saturday, Nov. 20-23. $5.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

our town


2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through Dec. 29. $45-$60.


Sex Tragedy Saturdays: The Insatiate Countess

Elizabeth Ellis

Portland Storytellers Guild presents an evening with the award-winning storyteller, who often spins tales about growing up in Appalachia. The event follows a storytelling workshop (9 am-1 pm, $40-$50). First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 13th Ave., 228-6389. 8 pm Saturday, Nov. 23. $10-$12.

It’s a Wonderful Life

After premiering this new musical adaptation of Frank Capra’s classic movie last year, Stumptown Stages brings it back for a second round. Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm SaturdaysSundays through Dec. 22. $25-$40.

NT Live: 50 Years on Stage

London’s National Theatre just hit the half-century mark, and to celebrate, it corralled a huge cast of British actors—including Benedict Cumberbatch, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Maggie Smith and Michael Gambon—to perform scenes from a heap of plays. Watch the hi-def recording this afternoon. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St., 235-1101. 2 pm Saturday, Nov. 23. $15-$20.

Naftali, Story Voyager

The Jewish Theatre Collaborative celebrates Hannukah with some Yiddish humor in this 45-minute, familyfriendly show about a storyteller living in a shtetl. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 11 am Sundays, Nov. 24 and Dec. 1. $5-$10.

The Natasha Plays

Boom Arts, a young organization that presents some of the more interesting and thought-provoking theater programming in Portland, stages two short plays by 26-year-old Russian playwright Yaroslava Pulinovich. Told from the perspective of two 16-yearold girls at very different spots on the socioeconomic ladder, the plays illuminate issues of class and gender—and, unsurprisingly, showcase plenty of teenage angst. A talkback follows each performance. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 567-1644. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Nov. 21-23. Free, donation suggested.

The Santaland Diaries

For the umpteenth year in a row (sorry, we’ve lost count), Portland Center Stage presents the one-man stage adaptation of David Sedaris’ exploits as a Macy’s elf. The morethan-capable Darius Pierce returns. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays,


For the final installment of this stagedreading series of Jacobean-era tragedies, Salt and Stage Productions presents John Marston’s play about a lustful countess. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 2 pm Saturday, Nov. 23. $5.

Twist Your Dickens

In addition to The Santaland Diaries, that tired evergreen of holiday theater, Portland Center Stage this year dishes up a sketch-comedy show spoofing The Christmas Carol. We’re skeptical, but Chicago’s improv behemoth Second City had a hand in developing the production, and PCS has corralled an impressive cast, including locals John San Nicolas and Sam Dinkowitz. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through Dec. 22. $39-$67.


Our Town gets a bad rap. So does experimental theater. Thank goodness, then, for Liminal Performance Group’s production of Thornton Wilder’s 1938 play. It’s a production that started out as a joke—why would an avantgarde company stage a mainstay of high-school theater?—but in practice is more reminiscent of poetry. The performance begins casually, almost imperceptibly, with the actors and technical crew roaming the bare stage. A skeleton of a cat crouches on a back shelf and a giant white orb hovers above. As actor Leo Daedalus— dressed on opening night in a black T-shirt emblazoned with a pot leaf— reads his first lines from a clipboard, it feels disarmingly unsteady. But these crude moments pair beautifully with the polished sequences, underlining the fact that Our Town is a play that shatters the fourth wall to call attention to itself as a piece of theater. As this tale of everyday life in small-town New Hampshire unfolds, director John Berendzen inflects Wilder’s modernist manifesto with lovely touches: skillful use of closed-circuit video, rhythmic choreography and a metronome that ticks at different speeds (in the sodashop scene, it flutters faster than a besotted teenage heart). Performances can be off-kilter, sometimes disorientingly so, as when Alex Reagan’s Mr. Webb flits between ghostlike disengagement and frightening focus. The anchor, though, is Daedalus, who grows steadily more commanding once he ditches the marijuana T-shirt for a black suit. In one short monologue, he addresses the audience directly. As he asks us to remember

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

We all do bad things. Whether that’s pirating your neighbor’s wireless signal or pouring acid onto a prostitute’s face just depends on your level of commitment. So for all its social commentary about good versus evil and the duality of man, Robert Louis Stevenson’s 1886 novella Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde remains fascinating and horrifying simply because, on some level, we know it’s true. Like a cross between Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes and an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Theatre Vertigo’s production of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is fast-paced, gleefully wicked and undeniably cool. Jeffrey Hatcher’s adaptation stays relatively faithful to the original tale, and director Bobby Bermea keeps the action brisk. Cleverly hinting at the evil in all of us, the fiend Edward Hyde is portrayed by not one but six actors throughout the performance. But he’s played primarily by Heath Koerschgen, who displays a suave demeanor and a surprising amount of sympathy. It’s hard not to feel a thrill when Hyde emerges, top hat and cane in hand. We are transfixed by his actions, just like the maid who witnesses his horrific deeds from a window. “The good in me would have called out sooner,” she says, “but the bad in me wanted to watch.” PENELOPE BASS. Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 306-0870. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Nov. 23. $20.

Fall of the Band Season Two

An onstage reincarnation of the dying TV sitcom, Action/Adventure Theater’s Fall of the Band is an entertaining theatrical alloy combining Friends and Portlandia. Season subscribers and one-off viewers alike can enjoy the lighthearted snafus of mohawked exjunkie Heath and his band Ghost Dad as they pursue Doug Fir notoriety. It’s like watching a ’90s sitcom brought to life and populated by your favorite wannabe rock stars while nursing a few beers at the Slammer. With a set plot but no script, Fall of the Band’s veteran actors and competent musicians speckle Portland-centric inside jokes (and digs at Portland Playhouse) throughout. Scenes occasionally languish, but at a snappy 60 minutes, episodes are more peppy than ponderous. Beer is available for purchase; the only thing missing from a night of couch-potato indulgence is your own musty sofa. ENID SPITZ. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through Nov. 24. $10-$14.


From the beginning of Foxfinder, it’s clear we’ve entered an off-kilter world. Even the set is askew: The stage slopes in different directions, and a door frame slants sharply to one side. The first person to come through that door is William Bloor, a government agent who’s traveled to the countryside to investigate a possible fox infestation. As he stands in the rain, tall and wiry and towering over the couple he’s about to interrogate, we know this dystopian world won’t right itself anytime soon. British playwright Dawn King’s Foxfinder, in its U.S. debut at Artists Rep, is a singular and somewhat slippery piece of theater. Set in rural England, this postapocalyptic parable finds a couple faced with floods on their farm and mourning the death of their son. In drops William, an ascetic 19-year-old tasked with annihilating foxes. The dreaded creature has been deemed responsible for destroying farmland— and for disturbing the weather, cor-

rupting minds and fomenting anarchy. Dámaso Rodriguez’s direction plays up the sense of paranoia and foreboding, with an ominous soundscape and disquieting lighting design. In a strong cast, Joshua Weinstein most impresses, playing William not as an unhinged loony or hardened cynic but as a tormented young man who seeks comfort however he can, even in selfflagellation. But the symbol of the fox wears thin—it’s clearly a scapegoat for all the dangers and fears of an irrational world. Still, given our current culture of NSA snoops and imprisoned whistle-blowers, it’s hard not to see the specter of the surveillance state in Foxfinder—an argument about how we find what we’re looking for, no matter how scant, slippery or strange the evidence. REBECCA JACOBSON. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSundays and 2 pm Sundays through Dec. 1. $25-$55.

Inspecting Carol

Lakewood Theatre Company, ever early to the Christmas rush, presents a backstage comedy about a haphazard production of The Christmas Carol. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm some Sundays and 7 pm some Sundays. No show on Thanksgiving. Through Dec. 8. $32.

Our Town (Portland State)

Portland State tosses its hat into the Our Town ring, with a production directed by Lorraine Bahr. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, Nov. 20-23. $6-$12.

Ruckus in the Lobby

Traveling Lantern Theatre Company, a touring troupe that presents interactive children’s theater, brings Saturdaymorning performances of A Christmas Carol to the Artists Rep lobby. The performance is recommended for kids in kindergarten through sixth grade. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 10:30 am Saturdays through Dec. 28. $5.

Song of the Dodo

From the walls and floor covered in plastic the color of Big Bird to the man in the surgical mask sweeping shredded bits of brown rubber into shapes like Rorschach inkblots, this new, original play from Portland Experimental Theatre Ensemble is unlike any other work happening in Portland. If any sequence defines the alternately silly, contemplative and bleak Song of the Dodo, it’s one involving Rebecca Lingafelter shoving an egg into her mouth. Sheathed in a dignified gray dress, Lingafelter gapes at the audience, her lips stretched around the egg. She waits. She bites down. The egg is raw. The yolk oozes down her chin. Lingafelter spits and smacks. She picks up a glass of red wine and glugs, the liquid streaming down her neck and leaving pink stains on her dress. It’s one of the most disgusting and arresting things I’ve seen onstage. Other moments channel a similarly delicious absurdity. Song of the Dodo opens with Lingafelter and two other female performers—our dodo birds—dressed in silver-hued costumes with pillowlike padding over their rumps. They preen and shimmy and squawk. Later, they titter about extinction and the misery of life. After last season’s strikingly sinister adaptation of Richard III, it’s wonderful to see PETE’s performers exercising their impressive comedic muscle, and the first hour delights while still prodding at questions about tragedy, grief and rage. But then things plummet into full-tilt, screechy melodrama. The last 15 minutes or so draw from Euripides’ Hecuba. As the performers wail about the extermination of the Trojan queen’s 50 children, the parallel with the extinction of the dodo is heavy-handed. Still, the show cements PETE’s reputation as an idiosyncratic and important force in the local theater scene—even if it left me mourning the disappearance of that adorable dodo. REBECCA JACOBSON. Studio 2, 810 SE Belmont St. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through Nov. 24. $12-$40.

The Reluctant Dragon

Tears of Joy Theatre presents a familyfriendly puppet show about a boy who must defend a poetry-loving dragon to villagers intent on slaying the creature. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 248-0557. 11 am and 1 pm Saturdays and 1 and 3 pm Sundays through Nov. 24. $13-$18.

The Submission

“It’s only a bullet if you load the gun with it,” says Danny, a playwright. He’s referring to the N-word, but he might as well be describing the shortcomings of The Submission, a play by Jeff Talbott. The story has plenty of ammo: It centers on Danny, a gay white playwright who has written a moving drama about a black family in the projects and, in a bid to increase its chances of being produced, has submitted it under the patently ridiculous pseudonym of Shaleeha G’ntamobi. When the play is actually accepted at a theater festival, Danny enlists a black actress to pose as the playwright. The bullets— all the racial and homophobic slurs you’d expect, pitched during debates about who corners the market on oppression—are there. What’s missing is the gun: a robust dramatic framework to give those munitions any firepower. Absent that, Defunkt Theatre’s season opener winds up talky but toothless. REBECCA JACOBSON. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through Nov. 23. $15-$25 sliding scale, Thursdays and Sundays are “pay what you can.”

The Waterman

Action/Adventure Theatre presents an original musical by Kyle Acheson and Sam De Roest. It’s a one-act show about love and sushi, and it ties into the serialized comedy Fall of the Band. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 10:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Nov. 23. $8-$10.


The man behind the @DadBoner Twitter account—online, he’s a divorced Michigan dad swilling cheap beer in his basement; in real life, he’s comedian Mike Burns—celebrates the release of his new book, Power Moves. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm Wednesday, Nov. 20. $13-$15.

Dana Goldberg

The openly gay comedian, who often tells jokes about being a lesbian but also riffs on her Jewish family, returns to Portland. She’s joined by local comic Belinda Carroll. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7:30 pm Friday, Nov. 22. $15.

Doug Loves Movies

That Doug Benson records his podcast at 4:20 pm should tell you much of what you need to know about the comedian, who also happens to be affable and surprisingly hardworking. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 4:20 pm Saturday, Nov. 23. $22.

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every first and third Friday. $5.

The Funniest 5

Earlier this month, WW turned to science—well, a poll of this city’s comedy community—to determine Portland’s five best standup comics. Read their profiles in this issue and see all five, for free, tonight. Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7 pm Sunday, Nov. 24. Free. 21+.


Late-night comedy show with improv, sketch and stand-up. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every second and fourth Saturday. $5.

NOV. 20–26




Nick Kroll

Nick Kroll might play a prick on FX’s The League, but that’s not the only alter ego the standup comic and actor can morph into. On his Comedy Central show, he also becomes a Jersey Shore castoff, a spoiled trust-fund kid and an annoying NBA referee. Not all the characters land, but when they do, it’s golden. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm Wednesday, Nov. 20. $25.

SMUT Presents: Kristine Levine

R-rated comedy from the everbawdy Kristine Levine, as well as appearances by Eric Cash, Dan Weber and Lauryn Pithey-Petrie. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 8 pm Sunday, Nov. 24. $5-$8. 21+.

Script Tease

Using unfinished works by Portland playwrights, performers launch into staged readings—and then improvise once the scripted pages run out. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through Nov. 30. $10-$12.

Seven on Seven

Brody presents a show that mashes standup and improv with seven comics each doing seven minutes and then a seven-member improv troupe riffing on the material Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Friday, Nov. 22. $8.


The improv ensemble presents Multiverse, which relies on audience input to create characters in a unique world and then launch some fateful changes. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursday, Nov. 21. $10.

The Strolling Dead

Because the zombie-apocalypse craze just won’t fade, here’s a fully improvised serial comedy about a small group of people doing their best to survive after the walking dead have taken over. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Saturdays through Dec. 7. $10.

Tim Meadows

One of Saturday Night Live’s longest-serving stars hits the Helium stage. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm FridaySaturday, Nov. 21-23. $18-$28.

Weekly Recurring Humor Night

Whitney Streed hosts a weekly comedy showcase. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9:30 pm every Wednesday. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested.


music and outrageous costumes. All ages welcome. Studio 14, 333 NE Hancock St. 8 pm Fridays, Nov.8-Dec. 27. $5-$15, sliding scale.

A Night at the Moulin Rouge

There’s a place on Clay where the burlesque dancers play. A swath of can-can dancers perform before the Pink Lady and John Bennett Jazz Band in a show that mishmashes various old-timey French stuff. Expect Apache dance, juggling, French clowns and ToulouseLautrec. Vie de Boheme, 1530 SE 7th Ave., 360-1233. 8 pm Saturday, Nov. 23. $15.

Sky Club Burlesquers

Richie Stratton hosts an evening of burlesque, aerial acts, dance and other entertainment. This month’s show features Layne Fawkes, Surreal De Sade, Orchid Souris Rouge and Machking Birdé. Sky Club at Ankeny’s Well, 50 SW 3rd Ave., 223-1375. 10 pm Friday, Nov. 22. $3. 21+.

Union Tanguera

The company of seven Argentinian dancers based in Lyon, France, performs its newest work. Nuit Blanche, or “sleepless night,” is set in a nightclub as the dancers’ milonga (tango party) comes to an end. The 60-minute show, presented by White Bird, doesn’t have Dancing With the Stars flair, but you don’t really watch that anymore, do you? What it does have is a range of emotion—desire, loneliness, passion—expressed through movement. In addition to their efforts to bring tango to the stage, co-artistic directors Claudia Codega and Esteban Moreno are also credited with helping tango reemerge as a social dance. This performance is accentuated with slight contemporary twists and bolstered by original compositions by Pedro Onetto, who performs onstage, with a live quartet of Buenos Aires musicians playing bandoneon, violin, piano and double bass. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 245-1600. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Nov. 21-23; 2 pm Sunday, Nov. 24. $26-$66.

World Circus

This isn’t a dance show—it’s a screening of a documentary, but Pendulum Aerial Arts hosts. World Circus is kind of like Best in Show, except real and with circus performers instead of dogs. Itfollows five top circus acts to the International Circus Festival of Monte Carlo, the Academy Awards of circus stuff, and one of the acts wins the top award: the Golden Crown. The film’s director and producer, Angela Snow, will be there for a Q&A session. Go and ask her who has the most to teach lion tamers or Russian acrobats. French American International School, 8500 NW Johnson St. 7:30 pm Friday, Nov. 22. $10, cash only.

Luciana Proano

In Ginger Story, the fable of the gingerbread man is retold with a political and surreal twist. Proaño and JB Butler provide movement,

For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



NOV. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

of media, all themed on the conceit of glitz and bling. Woolley has many established talents in his stable, but he also has a bevy of up-andcomers such as Kayla Newell and Wesley Younie, so it’ll be instructive to see how artists young and oldish respond to the same motif. Through Jan. 25. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third fl oor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Bobby McManus: Out-sider No More

This show is a study in inspired absurdism. The imagery—a skeleton writing a letter; a rat looking up at the viewer, its hand resting on a candlestick—defi es sense. A pen-and-ink drawing called Beach Reservation depicts a shark wearing a chef’s hat, serving up a meal to a man and woman on a beach. The connections of this work to the sexually transgressive mission of Cock Gallery may be specious, but these pieces can’t help but bring a smile to viewers’ lips. Through Dec. 15. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.

Brenna Murphy and Birch Cooper: MHSR


Ann Hamilton: a reading

Sometimes too much of a good thing is just too much. Ann Hamilton slathers the front and back galleries of Liz Leach’s expansive spread with a veritable mess of wall pieces, sculpture, text-based objects and digital videos. It’s all part of a pathologically heterogeneous, thoroughly allover-the-place show, vaguely titled (and preciously uncapitalized) a reading. With the addition of (count ’em) four rotating projectors casting images of tall ships on the back gallery’s wall, the show is redundant Sturm und Drang without meaningful cohesion. The most satisfying piece is the simplest: a hollowed-out book with an intricately cut thimble inside. Its meaning is obscure but poetic, far removed from the overbearing grandiloquence of the rest of the show. Through Jan. 11. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Anna Gray + Ryan Wilson Paulsen: A Series of Rectangles

Impossibly precious and precocious husband-and-wife team Anna Gray + Ryan Wilson Paulsen present artworks made during a residency in Omaha, Neb. The work centers on political texts and poetry. Through Nov. 30. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Augustine Kofie

Augustine Kofi e’s works on paper and panel are the highlight of an architectonically precise group show. Kofi e uses disparate media such as paper, ballpoint pen, acrylic, screenprinting and spray paint to create abstract images that recall architectural blueprints or 1960s modernist designs. While his works on panel fairly ooze an impeccable cool, it’s his works on paper that intrigue the most. The paper’s heft and highly tactile surfaces play invigorating counterpoint to the fastidious rectilinear imagery, giving the works a zing and zip that’s a pleasure to behold. Through Nov. 30. Breeze Block Gallery, 323 NW 6th Ave., 318-6228.

Bling Boutique

Art dealer and chronic self-reinventor Mark Woolley has used up at least fi ve of his nine lives. His erstwhile Pearl District gallery gave way to a space under the Wonder Ballroom, then another next to Augen Gallery’s downtown digs— and fi nally, following a brief semiretirement, his current space inside Pioneer Place. This guy never sits still. With Bling , he gives himself a big, fat, diamond 20th-anniversary ring, celebrating two decades as a gallerist. For this group show, artists contribute pieces across a spectrum

Last month, Brenna Murphy created an invigorating installation at Upfor using wood, 3-D-printed sculpture, and other disparate media in an exhibition that seemed to reference Sanskrit calligraphy and Southeast Asian icons. This month, collaborator Birch Cooper mixes up Murphy’s program with sound- and light-specifi c installations that viewers can interact with. If you put on a pair of sensor-appointed gloves, you can make screechy noises blurt out of synthesizers and speakers. Touch a control panel, and low-pitched electric buzzes fi ll the room while strobe lights and LED panels light up in colorful patterns. You’re the (wo)man behind the curtain—you control the great and mighty Oz—so step right up. Interactive art is all the rage in contemporary art, placing you squarely and thrillingly in the driver’s seat. Through Nov. 30. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Carolyn Cole

One of the Northwest’s best-known painters, Carolyn Cole subtly but pointedly changes her well-played tune in a suite of new acrylic and collaged paintings. A free, almost off hand use of graphite imparts a newfound sense of slapdash scrawl where before there was only glib perfection. And her use of color seems to be evolving away from the triedand-true combinations that have made her work so imminently collectible, toward more intuitive palettes. In works such as Orange 71307 and Blue 91306 , bursts of luminescence sear the eye like phosphenes, engaging the viewer’s opticality and imagination. This is Cole’s most inventive show in years. Through Nov. 30. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second fl oor, 248-9378.

Contemporary Northwest Art Awards

Expansive, thoughtful and dramatically installed, the biannual Contemporary Northwest Art Awards didn’t disappoint this year. Curator Bonnie Laing-Malcolmson has created a spectacular survey of artwork across a diverse fi eld of practices, fi lling—but not overfi lling—a generous exhibition space with work by artists from Oregon (Karl Burkheimer), Washington (Isaac Layman, Nicholas Nyland and the single-monikered artist known as Trimpin), Montana (Anne Appleby) and Wyoming (Abbie Miller). As heterogeneous as these artists’ works are, somehow Laing-Malcolmson makes them cohere spatially and thematically. Through Jan. 12. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-0973.

Jock Bradley: Time Sands Still

They have the same fi rst name: Jock Sturges and Jock Bradley. Sturges may be famous (and in some circles infamous) as the photographic chronicler of the nude body, but Bradley has made a name for himself by photographically chronicling the landscape in ways that evoke the nude body. His images of sand dunes in New Mexico and Colorado capture the sands’ peaks and troughs with an astute sense of shadow play that underlines their formal and thematic ties with the human body. Dunes and bodies are mutable; they rise and fall by the caprices of weather and time. Bradley intuits this and captures it in sumptuous black-and-white. Through Dec. 31. Gallery 903, 903 NW Davis St., 248-0903.

Michael Flohr

Michael Flohr calls himself a “modern urban impressionist,” which means he paints cityscapes, interiors and still lifes in a fuzzy, washy style that evokes the haze of idealized memory. His images of various cities, including Portland, are the sort you would conjure if you loved a town but had to leave it for good. In your memories, all the quotidian details would fade, and you’d be left with the contours of pure euphoria: a certain night when everything seemed perfect, and the lights on the marquee of the Schnitz refl ected the gleam in your lover’s eyes. There’s something irresistably treacly about this kind of vision, which is simultaneously the strength and weakness of Flohr’s paintings. Through Nov. 30. Shaff er Fine Art Gallery, 308 SW 1st Ave., Suite 158.

Rich Jascobs

Oakland, Calif., artist Rich Jascobs is the best thing about the over-dense, ploddingly hung group show Off the Wall PDX . Spirited and eclectic, Jascobs’ works range the gamut of formal conceits: Text-based, patternbased, rubber-stamped, geometric, organic—you name it, he’s got it covered. Amazingly, somehow it

doesn’t come across as hodgepodge. His most hilarious piece shows a dripping, amorphous blob with the inscrutable caption: “Your other cellphone looks like this.” Huh? Through Dec. 1. Compound Gallery, 107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733.

Rick Bartow: Bird Wings

Although Rick Bartow’s small paintings of birds seem arbitrary and remedial, most of them sported red dots (meaning “SOLD”) on the show’s opening night. Much more satisfying than these elementary studies were his larger works in acrylic on canvas. In the haunting piece Bear Mother, Bartow combines lilac, orange and periwinkle in a kachina-like fi gure that occupies the liminal boundary between matter and spirit. Bartow has a gift for naive, neo-expressionist fi guration that transcends distinctions between “fi ne art” sophistication and Basquiat-esque simplicity. Through Dec. 13. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

Robert R. Dozono: Garbage Paintings

Instead of disposing of his garbage like the rest of us, Robert Dozono recycles it into his artwork. He’s been doing this for the past 22 years. While this is an admirable project in repurposing, it’s an execrable project in aesthetics. The pill bottles, ice-cube trays, toothpaste containers, candy wrappers, shoe inserts and other claptrap included in this veritable landfi ll of materials combines into a hodgepodge that makes a good case for the good old days, when “crap” was recognized as such and wound up, properly, in a dump. Through Nov. 30. Blackfi sh Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Ted Savinar: I Wonder

A lot of creative work these days passes for “eco-art,” but Ted Savinar has happened onto a potent symbol for environmental awareness in his latest show, I Wond er. In a bronze sculpture rather unimaginatively titled Sustainability, he shows a miniature tree growing out of a spoon. He repeats this motif in a series of digital prints in silver-and-black and in tomato-and-caramel. The image seems to connote a spoon meting out a measure of “green” awareness: not too much, not too little, just enough to eff ect a modicum of convenient change. Somehow the universality of the image and its symbolism counteracts its preciousness, leaving the viewer with a caloric smidgen of food for thought. Through Nov. 30. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

PG. 29


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


Nov. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 Ann Patchett

Ann Patchett’s 2001 novel, Bel Canto, put her on the map with an M.O. that includes characters forging familylike bonds through arduous circumstances and life lessons learned through poetically tragic means (The Magician’s Assistant, The Patron Saint of Liars). Her newest novel, State of Wonder, was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in fiction. Patchett will appear as part of the Literary Arts lecture series, for which she was the most requested author from last year’s audience surveys. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 227-2583. 7:30 pm. $75 subscription required.

Nance Van Winckel

Experimenting with her writing through flash fiction, extra-short stories and mash-ups of poetry and photography, Nance Van Winckel is consistently exploring new territory with her work. Now releasing her sixth book of poems, the author reads from the collection Pacific Walkers. The Press Club, 2621 SE Clinton St., 233-5656. 7:30 pm. $5.

THURSDAY, NOV. 21 Linda Lee Peterson

Reprising her character of San Francisco editor and part-time sleuth Maggie Fiori, mystery author Linda Lee Peterson reads from her second novel, The Devil’s Interval, packed with all the necessary tropes, including a murdered socialite, a deathrow inmate and the lascivious San Francisco jazz scene. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

Loggernaut Fall Reading

Local literary organization Loggernaut hosts its fall reading titled “Drive,” featuring poetry and prose from songwriter and poet Alicia Jo Rabins, Portland-based author Alexis M. Smith (Glaciers) and fiction author and fiddler Gregory Spatz (Inushuk, Half as Happy). Literary Arts Center, 925 SW Washington St., 227-2583. 7 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, NOV. 22 Back Fence PDX

As we head to the kitchen for the most gluttonous time of the year, Back Fence PDX presents its storytelling showcase appropriately titled Recipe for Disaster. Taking the stage is L.A.-based writer and performer Lauren Weedman, OPB producer and host Julie Sabatier, organic farmers and scientists Alia Al-Humaidhi and Thom Young (storytelling in tandem), L.A. comedian Buck Ball and investigator Erik Meharry and EMT Ryan Gregory (also performing together). Mission Theater and Pub, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $12.50$20. 21+.

Historians’ Roundtable

With the 50th anniversary of Kennedy’s assassination, conspiracy theorists are frothing at the mouth. Mt. Hood Community College history instructor Patrick Casey will present for the Historians’ Roundtable and field questions on topics like ballistic and photographic evidence and potential government cover-ups. Try to sway him all you like, but he believes Oswald acted alone. Mt. Hood Community College, 26000 SE Stark St., Gresham. 1 pm. Free.

MONDAY, NOV. 25 Verse in Person

The monthly poetry series Verse in Person hosts local poets who do

most of their storytelling through music. Nan Collie, Joaquin Lopez, Donna Stevens and Karen Weliky share their work for the theme “Versed Voices.” Multnomah County Library—Northwest Branch, 2300 NW Thurman St., 988-5560. 6 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, NOV. 26 Alive at the Center

Celebrating Ooligan Press’ first volume of the Pacific Poetry Project Alive at the Center, nine of the contributing authors read selections of their work, specifically focus-

ing on the Portland contributors. Readers include Christianne Balk, Sarah Bartlett and Daneen Bergland. Barnes & Noble Vancouver Plaza, 7700 NE 4th Plain Blvd., Vancouver, 360-253-9007. 7 pm. Free.

Oregon Encyclopedia History Night

We love a good disaster. So back by popular demand, the Oregon Encyclopedia presents “Cataclysms on the Columbia: The Great Missoula Floods,” about the Ice Age floods that carved and shaped the Columbia River Gorge more than 12,000 years ago. It’s like a flash flood in super slow-mo. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. 6:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit


THE BEST OF MCSWEENEY’S My first encounter with McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern was at Reading Frenzy bookstore in the summer of 1999. The literary journal looked like nothing else. The cover of Issue 3 was filigreed with wry sayings, Victorian diagrams and crude drawings of chairs. “Made with affection by distrustful lovers,” the cover proclaimed. “It is Eggers’ omelette. flawed because it is true.” Sarah Vowell and Arthur Bradford showed up in the letters-tothe-editor section. Paul Collins, Aleksander Hemon and Rick Moody contributed an essay, a glossary and a poem, respectively. It looked like home. And it was. It was seemingly custom-made for a 21-year-old obsessed with David Foster Wallace, Samuel Beckett, Lorrie Moore and Thomas Pynchon. A few years later, of course, McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers was a famous memoirist—both lionized and savaged in the press. He was hailed as the future of literary publishing largely because of his love for the past, but just as often McSweeney’s was called cliquish MFA fare, Donald Barthelme-lite, gimmicky, the product of a trust-fund kid, a have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too mélange of the coolly ironic and the bathetically sincere. Well, McSweeney’s is all of those things, of course. Over the past 15 years—which saw the creation of Lucky Peach and The Believer magazines and countless book imprints—the publishing house’s approach to literature has been wide-eyed and ecstatic and, above all, indulgent. From dabbling in Sudanese literature to publishing literary journals with CD soundtracks or hypercolor covers, the quarterly has shown itself a stunningly dedicated dilettante. But its raccoon’s eye for shiny things has turned McSweeney’s into an impressive warehouse of treasures, documented newly and lovingly in a brick-dwarfing tome called The Best of McSweeney’s (McSweeney’s, 624 pages, $30). The story “Statistical Abstract for My Hometown Spokane, Washington,” by Jess Walter is a succession of 51 progressively intimate items told in “fun facts” format. It is also an emotional whip-cracker. Daniel Clowes, Adrian Tomine, Joe Sacco and Chris Ware offer up comics that amount to an argument for the form. Current it-kid writers such as Sheila Heti and Wells Tower were largely unknown when first published in McSweeney’s; it’s almost nostalgic to see them resurface here. So yes, Eggers started McSweeney’s with a trust fund. But while some people use their trust fund to pay for vacations and drugs and easy access to sex, what Eggers and McSweeney’s did was change literature. And looking at this collection, it’s hard to think it didn’t change it for the better. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Go: McSweeney’s contributors Arthur Bradford, Jess Walter and editor Jordan Bass will read at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., on Tuesday, Nov. 26. 7:30 pm. Free. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


nov. 20-26 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

C O U R T E S Y O F Q U AT ’ S O U S F I L M S


Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

12 Years a Slave

A Twelve Years a Slave was part of

a literary tide. When the memoir was published in 1853, Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Frederick Douglass’ autobiography were bestsellers, helping to fuel the abolitionist movement. But Solomon Northup’s story was different. Born a free man, he led a comfortable life as a carpenter and violinist with his wife and children in upstate New York in 1841, when he was kidnapped and sold into slavery. Northup managed to regain his freedom 12 years later and soon published Twelve Years a Slave, which became a bestseller of its own. But at some point, Northup disappeared and his book fell out of print. Now, it’s little-known outside the halls of academia. All of which makes British director Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave an even more staggering revelation. The film is agonizing but not lurid, compassionate but not melodramatic, patient but still thrilling. McQueen exposes the full extent of slavery’s physical cruelty, from the endless hours of cotton-picking to the capricious acts of violence, as well as the system’s psychological toll. Chiwetel Ejiofor, with stoicism and crushing reserve, plays a man forced to keep his head down and feign illiteracy. Most impressive is that 12 Years a Slave does not feel like an ethical or educational obligation. While its instructive value is undeniable, this is also a rousing portrait, a morally complicated tale and a masterful work of art. It’s not perfect, but it comes damn close. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sandy.

20 Feet From Stardom

A- Life is unfair, and the music indus-

try is worse. If there were a rubric to figure out what makes one performer a household name and the other just another name in the liner notes, the history of pop would read much differently. Turning the spotlight on several career backup singers, Morgan Neville’s 20 Feet From Stardom shows, with great warmth and color, what it might sound like. Most are resigned to their roles in the musical ecosystem, content to have sacrificed their own aspirations for the sake of elevating the art itself. Whether that’s noble or a con, Neville never judges. He just lets them sing. And, in a more perfect universe, that would be enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

About Time

C In About Time, writer-director Richard Curtis—who scripted Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill—tells yet another tale of a British bloke besotted with an American woman in London. Now, though, there’s a time-travel hook. Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) and Mary (Rachel McAdams, returning to familiar ground after the high-concept Harlequin romance of The Time Traveler’s Wife) are the destined-to-be-happy couple. The twist is that Tim can visit the past without the pesky problem of running into younger selves. At first this conceit allows for one-trick-pony jokes as Tim benefits from do-overs of amorous mishaps. But the movie ultimately spirals outward from its romcom roots to encompass family, birth, death and, natch, the meaning of life. As ever, Curtis’ brand of cleverness remains in the realm of the cute while tiptoeing around darker territory. If you could constantly revise the past, how would this affect your morality? Alas, About Time doesn’t go down this enticing rabbit hole, remaining too committed to rutted sentimentality. R. KRISTI MITSUDA. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, City Center.

All Is Lost

B We all know Robert Redford too

well. We know that, after nearly 50 years on the big screen, Redford the man is not an investigative journalist,


a gadabout sidekick or a dark-horse power hitter. He is, however, a mildly eccentric and reclusive celebrity, one who might very well undertake a solo sailing trip around the world. As the only actor in All Is Lost, he does just that. Then, wood cracks and water rushes in. A shipping container has punched a hole in the hull, destroying the GPS and radio. He does his best to patch the hole, but it’s Redford vs. the world from here on out. The autobiographical parallels are striking, which is perhaps the reason Redford is out of the director’s chair and working with newbie J.C. Chandor, who became a rising star after 2011’s Margin Call. That movie thrilled with 24 hours inside an investment firm’s meltdown; All Is Lost does the same with much less. This is one man, alone, facing death. Redford is playing himself, and he’s not playing around. PG-13. MITCH LILLIE. Clackamas, Hollywood Theatre, City Center, Tigard.

The Best Man Holiday

Nearly 15 years later, a sequel to 1999’s The Best Man finds most of the cast— including Taye Digs, Sanaa Lathan and Nia Long—reunited for Christmas. R.

Blue Jasmine

B Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine isn’t

so much a fish-out-of-water movie; it’s a horse-with-a-broken-leg-in-water movie. You know how this thing’s going to end. Cate Blanchett’s Jasmine is a rarefied, half-delusional socialite tossed roughly down the slopes of her husband’s financial pyramid scheme after he is arrested. She lands in a strangely Bronx Guido version of San Francisco inhabited by her lowrent sister Ginger (played with wonderful sympathy by Sally Hawkins). Blanchett’s performance is fascinating. She’s an Ingmar Bergman figure yanked straight out of Tennessee Williams: brittle, high-bred, wellguarded against reality but wretchedly vulnerable, snapping back and forth between high-class snob and raving drunk. Blue Jasmine cannot reconcile its broad comedy and pathos into coherence, but all the more impressive, then, that Hawkins’ and Blanchett’s twinned performances still manage to pick up most of the pieces. PG13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mission.

Captain Phillips

A- You probably already know the

story behind the new Tom Hanks movie, Captain Phillips, because you heard it first from the helmet-haired hagiographers of cable news. Back in 2009, four Somali pirates boarded a freighter and kidnapped its captain, Richard Phillips (played in the movie by Hanks). They kept him for five days on a lifeboat, demanding a ransom of $10 million, then got their brains blown out of their skulls by Navy SEALs. In outline form, the politics of the plot are problematic for a film: It is the heroic triumph of superior, mostly white American forces against amateurish, violent African criminals. But Paul Greengrass’ film is no Black Hawk Down. Whenever the Navy SEALs emerge, they are seen in blank silhouette, accompanied by the ominous music of alien assault. It’s an interesting choice by Greengrass: Why won’t he let you just root for Tom Hanks and the Navy and then cheer at the end? Instead, we observe the inevitable violent death of the only real characters in the film: the pirates themselves. Though shot with an eerie, disciplined neutrality, this is perhaps the most compassionate piece of filmmaking I’ve seen this year. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, SAndy.

A Case of You

C- [FIVE DAYS ONLY] Sam (an emo-

tionless Justin Long, playing the awkward every-guy once more) is

Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013

kISS aND TELL: adèle Exarchopoulos (left) and Léa Seydoux.


As soon as Blue Is the Warmest Color premiered in Cannes last May, frenzied discussion engulfed the film. Whether people found it exhilarating or exploitative, it seemed no one could shut up about this three-hour French saga about first love between two young women. The seven-minute sex scene monopolized much of the conversation, with a video montage that captures the responses of real lesbians eventually going viral. After the jury awarded the Palme d’Or to the film’s director as well as to its two stars, attention turned to the excruciating treatment the actresses said they had received on set—one said she felt like a prostitute. The director, Tunisian-born Abdellatif Kechiche, claimed he wanted the film’s release canceled. How fortunate we are that Kechiche didn’t get his way (he ultimately recanted too). Because for all the hooting—laudatory or incensed—it has unleashed, Blue Is the Warmest Color isn’t strident or demagogic. Instead, the film spends its 179 minutes slowly wringing you out like an old rag, until you’re finally tossed roughly over the line, depleted, devastated and stunned at what has just transpired. What transpires is at times volatile but, just as in real life, more often mundane. The film charts the evolution of the relationship between the working-class Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos), who is in high school when the film begins, and the art student Emma (Léa Seydoux), who is a few years older. From the initial moment the two lock eyes— after a heavy-handed discussion in Adèle’s French class about love at first sight—their connection is as electric as the shock of blue through Emma’s hair. Sometimes that connection plays out explosively, as in the aforementioned sex scene, which astounds more for its arguably excessive length than for its explicit images. But there are far more scenes devoted to quotidian routines and banal conversation. Minutes after exiting the theater, you’re unlikely to recall much of what Adèle and Emma talked about. But you’ll remember the frantically

searching expressions on Exarchopoulos’ face, the looks of cool composure on Seydoux’s, the unrelenting urgency and desperation that infuse their exchanges. Anyone who’s known the thrill of love and the psychological wringer of its dissolution will recognize the emotions depicted onscreen. Desire, we’re reminded, can torture just as much as it can liberate. Kechiche allows the characters to develop gradually, and we see Emma building a modest career as a painter and Adèle finding work as a primary-school teacher. The two share gorgeous moments of connection, catching each other’s gaze across the table while eating dinner with Emma’s family, as well as devastating instances of betrayal and destruction. In one scene, Adèle has been tossed out of the apartment they share, and Exarchopoulos staggers down the empty nighttime streets, keening and convulsing. The camera remains tight on her face as her tears and mucus and saliva run together, her emotions physicalized in these fluids. Much of the film is spent on close-ups of Exarchopoulos: fingers tugging on her messy

DESIRE, WE’RE REMINDED, CAN TORTURE JUST AS MUCH AS IT CAN LIBERATE. ponytail, wisps of hair caught in her eyelashes, eyes darting, lips hanging open, mouth filled with spaghetti Bolognese. It’s an aesthetic approach that could have made the character of Adèle one of feral simplicity, but Exarchopoulos’ naturalistic performance, devoid of histrionics, will knock the wind out of you. (That the actress was 18 at the time of shooting only boggles the mind further.) Seydoux’s Emma is self-possessed and charming, but this is ultimately Adèle’s movie, and Exarchopoulos’ performance is one of the year’s best. As much as response to Blue Is the Warmest Color has focused on the depictions of lesbian sex, the characters’ sexual orientation isn’t the crux of the film. It’s more than incidental—we see Adèle harassed by classmates who call her a “dirty dyke”—but this isn’t a gay-rights drama. It’s an epic tale of love between two people who just happen to be women, and that’s hopefully what will allow it to endure. A- Blue Is the Warmest Color is rated NC-17. It opens Friday at Cinema 21.

nov. 20-26 living the new bohemian dream in Brooklyn. Working on the Great American novel—or at least something that will shake the hack aura conferred by his usual movie novelizations—he finds inspiration in neighborhood barista Birdie (Evan Rachel Wood). Also a young creative, she draws caricatures in Prospect Park and has cultured tastes in music, literature and art. Did I mention she drinks bourbon? Sam doesn’t feel nearly as cool as Birdie, and this insecurity fuels director Kat coiro’s A Case of You. As Sam Facebook-stalks Birdie in order to adopt her passions— he starts taking judo lessons and reading Walt Whitman—the movie begins to stew, not uninterestingly, on how a fledgling relationship can lead to sublimation of the self. But it’s impossible to mourn Sam’s lost identity, since we never knew him as anything other than a man making himself in the mold of Birdie’s “likes.” With its technological conceit, A Case of You sets itself up as a fresh romantic comedy for the millennial set, but it’s as much a poser as its protagonist. KRIStI MItSUDA. Clinton Street Theater. 5 pm Friday, 9 pm Saturday-Tuesday, Nov. 22-26.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 cheeseburgers, falling from the sky! Again! PG.

The Counselor

D+ The Counselor, directed

by Ridley Scott and written by cormac Mccarthy (it’s the author’s first original screenplay), is an unmitigated mess. A cautionary tale about drug trafficking and reckless romance, it’s so full of faux-poetic mumbo-jumbo and so choppily assembled that the result is just frustrating and dumb. the titular character, played by Michael Fassbender, is an unnamed lawyer who has gotten himself into a mess involving a martini-guzzling client (Javier Bardem, his hair looking like he stuck his finger in an electric socket) and a cowboy hatwearing middleman (Brad Pitt). As it becomes obvious things will unravel for Fassbender, Pitt turns to him: “counselor, I don’t know what you should do, but it’s out of your hands,” he says. the film, likewise, spirals out of Scott’s hands, lurching between disconnected vignettes and gruesome acts of violence. R. REBEccA JAcoBSon. Living Room Theaters.

Dallas Buyers Club

A the first time Matthew

Mcconaughey appears onscreen in Dallas Buyers Club, the reflex is to gasp. that carved-from-amber beach bod has been whittled down to a toothpick. It’s a transformation mirroring that of Mcconaughey’s career over the past year, ever since the day he woke up, put on a shirt and decided to become the best actor of his generation: the rom-com lothario has withered away. In his place arrives a performer at his peak, in a role that better damn well win him an oscar, as an AIDS activist the movies have never seen before: a shit-kicking, homophobic redneck. that redneck actually existed, too. In 1985, Ron Woodroof, a Dallas electrician, bull rider and pussy-chasing, cokesnorting degenerate, became one of the rare straight men in the early years of the AIDS epidemic to contract HIV. Frustrated by the grinding inertia of Big Pharma, Woodroof went to Mexico, where, with a cocktail of natural supplements and non-FDA-approved meds, he was nursed back to health. Figuring there was a great racket in AIDS drugs that actually worked, he returned to texas and opened a “buyers club.” operating out of a fleabag motel, he skirted federal regulations by selling “memberships” at a rate of $400 per month and doling out the banned substances for “free.” to the credit of writers craig Borten and Melisa Wallack and director Jean-Marc Vallée, Dallas Buyers Club has no weepy epiphanies, no


soliloquies about newfound understanding. Woodroof may have been an asshole, but he was an asshole whose instinct for self-preservation eventually helped extend the lives of millions of better people. R. MAttHEW SInGER. Fox Tower, Clackamas.

Dear Mr. Watterson

D+ Director Joel Allen Schroeder

loves Calvin and Hobbes, and he thinks you should, too. Except he already knows you do, because the entire thesis of his movie is that everyone—every man, woman and child of any age—already loves Calvin and Hobbes. And that they all know about Calvin and Hobbes already, because everybody magically finds the strip sooner or later. He doesn’t want to bother trying to find reclusive cartoonist Bill Watterson, he says, because what could Watterson say that isn’t already in the comics themselves? Well, here’s an answer: He could probably say a lot more than the random fans who blather on about ordering a Calvin and Hobbes book from the Scholastic catalog or giving a Calvin and Hobbes book to their kids, or the cartoon museum director who shows you that, gosh, comics are drawn a bit bigger than they appear in the newspaper. But don’t you just love Calvin and Hobbes? Everybody does. Me too! So here’s a tip: Find a collection of the comics and reread them. It’ll be great. And it’ll be an antidote to this fawning nothing of a documentary. I’m guessing all those people who overfunded Schroeder’s Kickstarter campaign for this thing are now busy finding insidious ways to get their money back—things you’d never even think of. terrible, terrible things. MAttHEW KoRFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.

Delivery Man

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C- there’s a simple reason improv factors so heavily in many bigscreen comedies: After only a few takes, the existing material can start to feel stale for everyone involved. Imagine, then, the lifelessness that plagues Delivery Man, which is writer-director Ken Scott’s scene-for-scene, line-for-line remake of his 2011 French-canadian film, Starbuck. transferred to new York and translated into English, this remains the story of David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn), a meat delivery driver who seems to be bad luck incarnate. A sperm bank severely mismanaged his deposits in the ’90s, resulting in him siring over 500 children. Upon discovering this, he does what any decent guy would do: stalk his unknown offspring and play fairy godfather (in one laughable case, ending a daughter’s heroin addiction with a wave of his buffoonery). Almost immediately, it’s apparent that Delivery Man will offer a low return on its high-concept premise. Apparently uncomfortable watching his leading man squirm—because when has that ever been amusing?—Scott forgoes a redemption story in favor of one hinging on unearned absolution. this path of least resistance seems tailor-made for a typically disengaged Vaughn. All told, a new release has rarely felt so stillborn. PG-13. cURtIS WoLoScHUK. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.

Despicable Me 2

C this sequel to 2010’s blockbuster adds Kristen Wiig as highspirited love interest and expands the animated repertoire to encompass 3-D thrills, but the story itself, which shoehorns Gru into the service of a global super-spy league for the flimsiest of reasons, arrives packed with exposition and shorn of coherency. PG. JAY HoRton. Academy, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst,

cont. on page 48 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



nov. 20-26

Mission, Movies on TV, St. Johns, Valley.

Don Jon

A- Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s debut

as a triple threat—writer, director and star, a la Clint Eastwood—is appropriately festooned with the time-honored totems of macho masculinity. We’ve got cartoonish muscles, unbridled rage, some good old-fashioned misogyny and, of course, sex that’s all about the man. “Condoms are just terrible,” whines Jon (Gordon-Levitt), a Guido beefcake who likes porn better than real sex. “But you gotta wear one because, unlike porn, real pussy will kill you.” Or rather, real pussy—with all its trappings of commitment—will kill your bachelor lifestyle. Jon doesn’t have time for that. He is so immersed in Internet porn that it’s hard to tell whether his attitudes about sex and love are the product or the cause of his obsession. When Jon meets super-fox Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) and actually tries to date her, her abject horror at his obsessive meat-pounding kicks off the slow unraveling of Jon’s belief in porn as the apex of sexual stimulation. Gordon-Levitt brings just enough depth to the character, and to the film overall, to turn a schlocky premise into an honest and approachable exploration of how porn—and really, any other addictive simulation of reality— can cheat us out of the richness of actual experiences. R. EMILY JENSEN. Living Room Theaters.


B+ In the year 2154, we’re told,

the rich don’t care about the poor. Neill Blomkamp, whose debut film was the alien-apartheid fantasy District 9, pretty much takes this for granted. His sophomore film, Elysium, is essentially a political metaphor gone fiercely rogue in the physical world. Not only do the rich not give two flying figs about the poor, but they live in a utopian space station in the sky. Below, on Earth, the abandoned residents of Los Angeles languish in a dreamily intricate slum that has fallen into apocalyptic steampunk, a world of shit and piss and dirt. The film is what a sci-fi epic should be: a fantastical machine fueled by our own dreams and fears, made believable by its absolute devotion to these dreams. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley.

Ender’s Game

B- There’s no denying that Orson Scott Card’s political and anti-gay views are worse than cockeyed. Still, Gavin Hood’s adaptation of Card’s 1985 sci-fi novel deserves notice: It makes clear how salient and eerily prescient the author used to be, back before he was equating Obama with Hitler. Much in the same vein as The Hunger Games—and, of course, The Lord of the Flies long before it—Ender’s Game taps into the brutality and ruthlessness of which children are capable. In this speculative future, Earth is at war with the Formics, an alien insectoid race, and children have become the military’s best shot at victory. The fact that the complex computer games and zero-gravity exercises (realized

M u R R AY C L O S E


Willamette Week’s

THE FUNNIEST 5 A showcase of Portland’s top standup comics, as chosen by their peers.


SUNDAY, NOV. 24 7-9 pm at the Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 21+


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


ODDS EVER IN THEIR FAVOR: While other young-adult novel adaptations preoccupy themselves with knockoff magic and chaste vampires, The Hunger Games series instead caters to the “adult” part of the equation. Taking what initially seemed like a watered-down version of Battle Royale, it has created a sprawling and very grown-up world for young audiences. With Catching Fire, director Francis Lawrence further expands this post-apocalyptic universe where children are forced to slay one another in an annual gladiatorial event designed to tamp down discontent. This film finds heroine Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and her milquetoast co-champ Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) on a “victory tour” through a country where the rich bathe in luxury while the poor undergo flogging and execution in what resembles WWII-era Russia. Fearing Katniss will become a symbol for a simmering rebellion, the president (Donald Sutherland) forces her back into the arena with even deadlier stakes. As with the first film, Catching Fire goes slightly flat once the actual Hunger Games commence. But in the lead-up to the most violent episode of Survivor imaginable, the director crafts a dense dystopia full of political allegory, media satire and other elements that most YA films consider their core audiences too dumb to handle. Though flawed, Catching Fire manages something no adaptation since Harry Potter has: It respects its fans enough to challenge them while maturing alongside them. AP KRYZA. B SEE IT: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Roseway, Division, St. Johns, Movies on TV.

through some impressively understated CGI) leave the kids increasingly desensitized doesn’t seem to cost their commanding officers (Harrison Ford and Viola Davis) any sleep. Ford’s Colonel Graff uncovers a potentially sociopathic Skywalker to wage an alltoo-familiar “war to prevent all future wars” in loner Ender Wiggin (Asa Butterfield). Continuing to display a remarkable aptitude for portraying isolated characters, the otherworldly Butterfield is just as compelling here as he was in Hugo. Hood keeps a firm handle on the film’s somber tone, ensuring we’re never once at ease with the sadistic environment. But while there’s no shortage of tension, there is a lack of dramatic escalation, and Ender’s Game doesn’t naturally build to its epic climax so much as it smashcuts to it. To its credit, though, the film never flinches as it poses the harrowing question: What if an outsider finally finds his calling only to discover that it’s genocide? PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.

Escape Plan

C+ Escape Plan is the sort of film they don’t make anymore. Every single element, from choice of fonts to riffdappled score to blithe racism, has been curated to ass-end-of-the-’80s specifications. The central conceit— prison security specialist Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) finds himself mysteriously shunted to a privately operated detention facility housing a hulking graybeard with a thick accent (Arnold Schwarzenegger)— isn’t especially ludicrous. Stallone and Schwarzenegger are in their comfort zone, to be sure. But these sorts of films, these immobile actioners, feel so cramped after a while, especially compared to the hyperkinetic restlessness of modern shoot-’em-ups. And yet. In the final, oddly rousing battle, when Schwarzenegger finally grabs a machine gun, the viewer feels momentary awe. Within the simplest possible staging, the filmmakers insert a closeup of his deadened gaze. It’s an old trick, equal parts Man With No Name and Dick Tracy, and, in the instant, timeless. R. JAY HORTON. Eastport.

First Comes Love


Davenport’s portrait of her journey to single momhood takes self-absorption—and tedium—to a new level. At 41, lamenting her lack of child, and man, the documentary filmmaker asks herself and those around her if she should have a baby on her own. She recruits a sperm donor in her gay friend, and the resulting process unearths deep issues with her taciturn father and deep longing for her recently deceased mother, but also a whole lot of insights from Davenport that are anything but deep: Really, who doesn’t have a complicated relationship with their family? In an age when the choice to become a single parent is increasingly prevalent, First Comes Love feels awfully trite, right down to the bummers of dating, sibling rivalries and childbirth. What’s more frustrating, though, is Davenport’s focus on how she and her BFF can’t find husbands—what is this, 1950? With all due respect to Davenport’s personal path, it’s a headscratcher that our often whiny narrator believes her story—at least the way she tells it here—would be of interest to strangers. AMANDA SCHURR. Clinton Street Theater.

Free Birds

B While we wouldn’t quite call Free Birds a good idea, there are so many children’s pics waiting to collide at the Christmas line of scrimmage that any cartoon set during November (even a mismatched pair of turkeys traveling through time to steer the first Thanksgiving away from poultry) seems, well, smart business. Helmed by Horton Hears a Who! vet Jimmy Hayward and voiced by an enviable troupe of A-listers, the resulting feature arrives with sweeping inoffensiveness and large personalities. Woody Harrelson’s grizzled self-


nov. 20-26

in the name of satire as a Turkey Liberation Front radical might actually comfort both sides of the vegan divide. If the film changes any Thanksgiving menus, credit less the mixed moral lesson than the impossibly unappetizing depictions: These turkeys resemble golfclub cozies in pastel-colored suede jackets. For a production so strictly manufactured, there’s an addled comedic sensibility given blessedly free range. Neither kids nor parents will be happy, exactly, but that’s not the point of Thanksgiving. We gather together, ignore the dry white meat, and load up on the stuffing. PG. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.


A- Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity begins

with a staggeringly brilliant and mesmerizingly staged 17-minute single take, which manages to encapsulate every single feeling the rest of the film will instill in its viewers: tranquility, warmth, peace, trepidation, nervousness, endearment, wonder and, most of all, fear. With Gravity, Cuarón and his screenwriter son, Jonas, take on the most primal fear possible, that of being lost in an abyss of nothingness. The film features only two actors, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Their simple space-station repair mission turns into a nightmare as debris from a destroyed satellite tears their shuttle to shreds and they’re left hopelessly adrift with a dwindling supply of oxygen. We, like the characters, are stuck, watching the events as they unfold, mostly in real time, and gasping for our collective breath as the oxygen meter slowly runs out. It is perhaps the most stressful experience to be had in a movie theater this year, and as such it’s nearly perfect. It’s impossible to even consider relaxing as the characters drift from one scrape with death to the next over the course of 90 unrelenting minutes. But it’s in the brief lulls that Cuarón manages his most amazing feats, allowing us to stop and stare in awe at the beauty of the images onscreen. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

In a World...

B+ Lake Bell is on a crusade against

“sexy baby voice.” For those unfamiliar with this obnoxious tic, imagine if Betty Boop incorporated some of Ke$ha’s vocal fry—that low, guttural vibration—and ended every sentence as if it were a question. That’s Bell’s pet peeve, and she lampoons it to pitch-perfect effect in In a World…, which she wrote, directed, produced and stars in. But as funny as that sendup is, it’s still far from the best thing in the film, which takes us into the idiosyncratic and competitive realm of voice-over artists. Bell plays Carol, an aspiring voice-over artist with a bear of a father (Frank Melamed) who’s big in the biz. But rather than help Carol get her foot in the door, he’s as vain and sexist as the rest of his industry. But Carol, a graceless but tenacious 30-year-old, ends up vying for voice-over work on the

trailers for an action “quadrilogy,” a hilarious Hunger Games-style spoof. The movie is overstuffed, but its unassuming tone, its generosity of spirit, and Bell’s skillful performance redeem the uneven pacing and bumpy storytelling. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

In the Name Of

B+ “The priest is a fag.” Someone

has spray-painted these words on the door of a Catholic boys’ reform school in rural Poland. By this time, about 40 minutes into In the Name Of, the words are patent if implicit truth. When Lukasz (Mateusz Kosciukiewicz) playfully runs off into a cornfield, Father Adam (Andrzej Chyra) is obliged to follow—but in temptation, curiosity or paternal concern we’re not sure. Lukasz makes a monkey call, and Father Adam returns the greeting and smiles, starting to enjoy himself as an animal, rather than spiritual, being. The lapses, though, start to increase in severity, provoking doubt in the priest’s flock. At one point, Father Adam staggers drunkenly through his home, barely catching a portrait of the pope he knocks off the wall, as Band of Horses’ “The Funeral” blares on his stereo. The theme is nothing new: a man’s tragic unraveling in the face of a desire that won’t leave him alone. Director Malgoska Szumowska’s lack of judgment leaves interpretation as wide open as the fields that roll in the many pastoral scenes. But in a film about the institutionalization of pedophilia, it’s hard to stomach how Father Adam smiles at Lukasz, ultimately leaving In the Name Of grasping for greater moral certainty. MITCH LILLIE. Living Room Theaters.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

B+ Entering theaters 11 years to the

day after the first Jackass release deliriously exceeded all expectations, Bad Grandpa has become the franchise’s fourth consecutive film to debut with top grosses, and nobody seems the least surprised that an ambling road movie with few stunts and relatively unknown leads bested Brad Pitt and George Clooney. As this narrative begins, Johnny Knoxville’s newly widowed, 86-year-old Irving Zisman is driving his grandson across the country to be dropped with his deadbeat dad. The farther they travel across America, the further Knoxville and talented child actor Jackson Nicoll press their man-on-the-street badinage toward creepiness. Nicoll’s unilateral decision to be adopted by friendly strangers probably wrings the most laughs, but Knoxville’s addled ferocity attains more intriguing dimensions. Turns out you can teach a certain sort of dog new tricks, and Knoxville’s persistence proves weirdly humanizing. Bad Grandpa isn’t quite art, and it’s not quite growing old gracefully. This, though, you may want to try at home. R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Forest, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.

Kill Your Darlings

C+ Sometimes in film, actors so fully inhabit the roles of historical

figures that they don’t just capture the essence of the human being, they become even more vivid and convincing than footage of the actual person. Think Ben Kingsley as Gandhi, Peter O’Toole as T.E. Lawrence, Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan. But whatever you do, don’t think Daniel Radcliffe as Allen Ginsberg. His mealy-mouthed performance as a college-aged Ginsberg in Kill Your Darlings is so completely divorced from the person he’s meant to portray that all thoughts of the poet are inaccessible. In place of the poet’s ejaculative, adenoidal New Jersey drawl, Radcliffe speaks in a wobbly transatlantic mumble with an emotional range that spans buttermilk tepidity and petulant whinging. So forget Ginsberg, at least as you know him publicly: Consider Radcliffe, instead, to be some weak-willed kid who does a lot of drugs at Columbia with an uncanny facsimile of William Burroughs (Ben Foster), plus a great galumphing jock named Jack Kerouac and a pretty-boy narcissist named Lucien Carr, the latter played with arrestingly sociopathic charm by Dane DeHaan. And indeed, it’s Carr who’s the real focal point of the story. He’s interestingly complex, both self-pitying and vainly self-regarding. Too bad, then, that we spend so much time with Radcliffe, presumably on the notion that we want to watch the great Ginsberg take shape from lumpen clay. It’s a good thing for this muddled, diffuse film that Carr is composed of much stronger stuff. DeHaan’s performance is not enough on its own to make this a good film, but it’s certainly enough to make it interesting. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower.

Last Vegas

C- One can easily imagine the pitch that led to Last Vegas: “It’s The Hangover for the retired set!” John Turtletaub’s film thrusts four 60-something besties (Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline) into Sin City for a bachelor party/last hurrah in hopes hilarity will ensue. If that premise sounds familiar, so are the ensuing shenanigans: fanny packs, bikini contests, Viagra jokes, unearned nostalgia and shopworn musings on aging. Though intermittently funny and not entirely without their charms, Turteltaub’s halfhearted attempts to create a new Rat Pack mostly fall flat. So much screen time is devoted to defusing the longstanding tension between Douglas’ and De Niro’s characters that their would-be romp is ultimately something of a downer. Which would be fine if the film’s thoughts on friendship and mortality were especially poignant, but they’re as hackneyed as the jokes about boners, transvestites and 50 Cent, who at one point is mistaken for a member of the Jackson 5. PG13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Forest, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.

Lee Daniels’ The Butler

D Every time a character in The Butler goes on a trip, somebody offers him a ham sandwich. Director Lee Daniels does much the same for the viewer—in every single scene. It isn’t hard to see

why Daniels wanted to tell this story, which is based (very) loosely on truth. It’s kind of irresistible: A black White House butler, Cecil Gaines (Forest Whitaker), serves closely with every U.S. president during the civil rights era and lives to be invited back to the White House by Barack Obama. The film’s full title is Lee Daniels’ The Butler, and the subject of the movie doesn’t matter, because Lee Daniels has decided that Lee Daniels is going to make you cry, and he’s going to hit you over the head until you do. PG13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Academy, Laruelhurst.

Muscle Shoals

C+ To hear Bono talk, the Alabama city of Muscle Shoals is a holy place conducive to magic and alchemy. Granted, the Irishman could probably wax equally rhapsodic about a digestive cookie. So, it’s a good thing the riverside city has the hymns to back up his assertion. Classics like Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman” and Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” were recorded within FAME Studios’ unassuming walls, produced by Rick Hall and propelled by the Swampers, a powerhouse backing band with all the aura of farmhands. But first-time director Greg Camalier rarely delves into the actual recording of these staples. Frequently, we glimpse keyboardist Spooner Oldham coaxing out a few skeletal chords before the finished track bursts forth fully formed. And yet, the film possesses considerable persuasive power despite its modest substance and simple construction, making it very much like the timeless songs it showcases. PG. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Living Room Theaters, Hollywood Theatre, Kiggins Theatre..

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

C- Given its M.O. of recycling Greek mythology, you’d think the fledgling Percy Jackson franchise would’ve guarded itself better against hubris. However, its opening installment strolled onscreen in 2010, presuming itself the rightful heir to Harry Potter’s throne. Instead, it learned that it takes more than a serviceable premise—the Greek gods’ half-human kids scuffle with their extended family—to capture the public’s imagination. Here, any glimmers of life are snuffed out by leaden storytelling and insipid humor. PG. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Academy.


B+ Planes is a straightforward lark

about a plucky crop-duster afraid of heights who manages to qualify for a round-the-world race. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a smooth ride. PG. JAY HORTON. Academy.


B Like Clint Eastwood’s sadistically

bleak Mystic River, Denis Villeneuve’s Prisoners presents its protagonists with an unimaginable horror: the abduction of their young daughters. As Pennsylvania patriarchs driven to the edge by the disappearance of their 7-year-olds, Hugh Jackman’s and Terrance Howard’s

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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013


nov. 20-26

faces are mapped with anguish as their characters go to extreme measures to bring home their daughters. But unlike Mystic River, this year’s first high-profile awards contender wrings pulp out of the proceedings, something Eastwood was too busy torturing his characters to try. That’s not to say Prisoners is better than the overrated Mystic River, but it is far more watchable. After all, we want to watch our villains suffer, so most audiences will thrill at the idea of Jackman, shedding his Wolverine costume but not the menace, kidnapping and torturing a suspect (Paul Dano) in an effort to translate his pain into answers. Scenes between Jackman, Howard and the impressive Dano are wonderfully tense, but the film loses traction whenever Jake Gyllenhaal’s detective enters. Still, Villeneuve, who exploded onto the scene with 2010’s devastating Incendies, shows endless potential in his U.S. debut. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst, Valley.

Reel Feminism: The Grey Area

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] In Noga Ashkenazi’s 2012 documentary about a maximum-security women’s prison in Iowa, college students teach a feminism class to inmates. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, Nov. 20.


B+ “Maybe I went and did the worst

thing of all: I got civilized.” So muses Richard B. Riddick early in the new film bearing his name. He’s ostensibly explaining how he’s come to find himself stranded on a desolate planet with a figurative knife in his back. Really, though, his words read as a self-aware statement on the downward trajectory of the first two entries in writer-director David Twohy and star Vin Diesel’s sci-fi franchise. Riddick’s first 20 minutes or so immediately signal that this a welcome return to bare-bones form. Our nocturnal antihero re-establishes himself as a primitive survivalist via a series of revitalizing acts: braving the elements, evading (and even taming) the wildlife, living off the land. Once a group of bounty hunters touch down on the planet in hopes of claiming him as their prize, he slinks off into the shadows and Riddick begins to feel like a Nightmare on Elm Street movie in which we’re meant to root for Freddy Krueger. Riddick is the best of the series thus far—not to mention the best action film of the year. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Edgefield.


B- Right off the bat, let’s address the query that’s inevitably posed of all sports movies: Must one have a vested interest in the sport to enjoy said film? In the case of Rush, the answer is, “Of course not,” because if Ron Howard were banking on audience knowledge of the international Formula One racing scene of the 1970s to sell this biopic, EDtv suddenly wouldn’t seem like his worst misstep. Instead, the movie, based on the six-year battle for F1 supremacy between stern Austrian Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl) and walking British hard-on James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth), deals with much more familiar (one might say tired) themes: the nature of professional rivalry, the sociopathy of competition and the definitions of masculinity. Ninety percent of the film takes place on racetracks and in press conferences, and the moments meant to underscore the personal relationships driving (ahem) these two diametrically opposed men feel, ahem, rushed. The screenplay is by Peter Morgan, whose words transformed Howard’s Frost/Nixon into a white-knuckle boxing match. Apparently, though, his skill doesn’t work in the other direction: Drowned out by all the vroom-vroom, his dialogue can’t turn what’s essentially an intermittently entertaining actioner into the character-driven, ’70s-style talkie Howard envisions it being. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, St. Johns.

Thor: The Dark World

C Thor is Marvel’s most unidentifi-

was part goofball sci-fi epic, part fishout-of-water comedy set in smalltown New Mexico, anchored by Chris Hemsworth’s charmingly boyish performance. Thor: The Dark World is the God of Thunder’s first post-Avengers romp, and it reverses the formula, transporting Thor’s scientist girlfriend (Natalie Portman) to his psychedelic space kingdom. It shows us a world of rainbow roads, elves with bazookas and giant rock monsters…only to make us long to be back in New Mexico. There’s some nonsense about dark elves and a forced teaming up with Thor’s a-hole brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston, great as always), but director Alan Taylor sucks all the fun out of the picture, creating a cornball drama that plays a lot like one of his episodes of Game of Thrones, minus the incest but with spaceships. The film finds some footing in its gonzo finale, in which London is laid to waste, Thor takes the subway and the comedic elements are suddenly resurrected. But even destroying a city can’t make up for the self-serious dullness that came before. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Moreland, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns.

The Wolverine

B The Wolverine is basically a high-

budget take on an old-school samurai flick, with Wolverine as the ronin. And it’s as awesome as it sounds. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Valley.

The World’s End

B+ Hyperkinetic director Edgar

Wright’s previous collaborations with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost—Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz—share the same DNA, and not just in the surface-value genre-mashing that makes the films both disarmingly hysterical and unexpectedly touching. Beneath the blood-soaked zombie apocalypse, or among the spent bullet casings of a buddy-cop shootout, the team explores the fears of men who were once the boys weaned on these very genres: abandonment, uncertainty of the future, the inability to grow up, and, chiefly, the increasing inability to deal with hangovers. It’s no surprise, then, that Wright, Pegg and Frost have rounded out what is unofficially named the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy with The World’s End, a film that dives deep into the fractured friendship of a group of small-town pals drawn back home to re-attempt a pub crawl that bested them two decades before. It’s kind of like The Big Chill, but without the heavy-handedness. And with a legion of murderous, body-snatching robots disguised as the townfolk and bent on taking over the universe. The World’s End is the most straightforward and accessible of the trilogy, but also the most morose. It’s a strange approach for a movie about a robot invasion, but a perfect way to cap such a wonderful series: As soon as the credits roll, fans have to face the fact that this tremendous series is over. R. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst.

We’re the Millers

B- Up until now, I only tolerated Jennifer Aniston. She’s the vanilla ice cream of the cinematic world. But her performance as a caustic stripper in We’re the Millers is a sort of remedy for all those years of goodgirl typecasting. Is the novelty of a squeaky-clean Aniston working the pole yet another cheap Hollywood ploy to sell movie tickets? Absolutely. But it turns out she has the range to pull it off with surprising depth and feeling. Admittedly, her performance is tangled up in a very silly premise, in which she essentially plays house with a drug dealer (Jason Sudeikis), a runaway (Emma Roberts) and a freckle-plagued virgin (Will Poulter) as a front for smuggling an RV full of weed across the Mexican border. But the characters are engaging enough, and the situational comedy generally entertaining enough, to make for some decent brain candy. R. EMILY JENSEN. Laurelhurst.

able character, but his first solo cinematic outing worked because of how hilariously batshit it was. 2011’s Thor


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013



no dull boy: Jack nicholson in The Shining.


Since September, gossip has circulated that Jack Nicholson has retired from acting due to an inability to remember lines. The rumor’s veracity has been debated, but it did inspire the Hollywood Theatre to schedule a short Nicholson retrospective, which begins Nov. 22 with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and continues with Chinatown and The Shining, both opening Nov. 29. But whether Jack is actually retiring or—as the 76-year-old legend says—concentrating more on emotional roles, he will never be Robert De Niro or Al Pacino. Thank god. Because he almost was. The three greatest actors of their generation had startlingly similar career launches. All broke into the public consciousness in the late ’60s and early ’70s as products of a new wave of cinema that shattered the puritanical studio system. Led by Nicholson’s supporting turn in Easy Rider, they logged performances unlike anything audiences had seen before. All three skyrocketed to fame, but it was Nicholson’s smaller choices that captured the cultural zeitgeist: He personified the plight of the scholarly drifter in Five Easy Pieces and the conflict between a sailor’s soft heart and hard ass in The Last Detail. He could be the hardboiled Jake Gittes in Roman Polanski’s serpentine Chinatown. He could be crazy, as in Cuckoo’s Nest. But Nicholson, with his wild grin and cartoon eyebrows, could never fully disappear into a role. In a way, that made him the perfect avatar for the audience. His bug eyes weren’t just his reaction. They were ours. Then, in the ’80s, Jack just said “fuck it” and played an exaggerated version of himself. While De Niro and Pacino continued to hone the Method acting they would later come to squander, Nicholson did whatever the hell he wanted, whether it was scaring the shit out of everyone in The Shining, paving the way for De Niro and Pacino to ham it up as Satan in The Witches of Eastwick or igniting the comic-book boom with his turn as the Joker in Batman. Jack as Jack coasted through the ’90s with some exceptional performances in films like The Crossing Guard and crowd-pleasers like As Good as It Gets. But then, in 2003, something terrifying happened.

His name was Adam Sandler, and he appeared to be taking old Jack down the Meet the Parents route with the horrible Anger Management. With De Niro working in a post-Focker world and Pacino transitioning into a spastic impression of himself, it was alarming. Jack had made a career playing an exaggerated Jack. Could we take him as a caricature of the caricature he’d already established? Nope. Jack just cashed his check, washed his hands and probably hit on a 19-year-old. Then he played Jack with a Boston accent in The Departed. While De Niro is stuck in a series of Viagra jokes in Last Vegas and Pacino is wearing atrocious wigs and screaming (in between also being stuck in Viagra jokes in schlock like last winter’s Stand Up Guys), Nicholson will enjoy a much more sterling legacy than his fellow pioneers, his hits not sullied by horrible late-career nonsense. Hollywood Theatre. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest plays Nov. 22-24. Chinatown plays Nov. 29-Dec. 1. The Shining plays Nov. 29-Dec. 4. Also showinG: For a closer look at what makes De Niro one of our greatest actors—Viagra jokes notwithstanding—watch his brilliant supporting performance in Goodfellas. The Man with the Mole transitions from charming snake to paranoid psychopath so seamlessly, you wonder if his late-career nosedive is part of an elaborate performance piece. Laurelhurst Theater. Nov. 22-27. ’Tis the season…of endless coverage of the JFK assassination. If you’re not overloaded with conspiracy theories already, Oliver Stone’s JFK will certainly do the trick. Academy Theater. Nov. 22-28. With Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, a power couple—Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton—managed the feat of acting together in a legitimately great movie, a feat not repeated again until Gigli. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, Nov. 22-24. Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai is undeniably the greatest samurai film ever made. Its American remake, The Magnificent Seven, is arguably the greatest Western. That the NW Film Center is showing them on the same weekend is a gift to film lovers. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Friday-Sunday, Nov. 22-24. Too high to remember the insanity that was last week’s revival of 1979’s psychedelic thriller The Visitor? Don’t worry. It’s back. Get high again. Hollywood Theatre. 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Nov. 22-23. Will the Hollywood’s screening of The Last Unicorn with a Q&A with writer Peter S. Beagle result in mobs of 30-something women storming thrift stores looking for Lisa Frank gear for the author to sign? Probably. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday and 7 and 9:30 pm Sunday, Nov. 23-24. Continuing its love of cheese and garbage, the Grindhouse Film Fest does a double feature of The Winged Serpent and Alligator, which are about, respectively, a winged serpent and an alligator that eats people. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Nov. 26.


NOV. 22-28


07:30 SECRETARY Wed 07:30

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 SEVEN SAMURAI Fri-Sun 05:00 THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN Sat 07:00 2013 BRITISH ARROW AWARDS Sat 05:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME: The Magnificent Seven plays at 7 pm Saturday, Nov. 23, at NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE -- THE IMAX EXPERIENCE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 04:00, 07:30, 10:55 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:00, 03:30, 07:00, 10:25 DELIVERY MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:00, 03:50, 06:50, 09:35 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 01:25, 03:40, 04:20, 07:10, 10:00 THOR: THE DARK WORLD 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:50 12 YEARS A SLAVE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 03:20, 06:35, 09:45 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 03:10, 06:15 GRAVITY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:20 ENDER’S GAME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:05 CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:15 DOCTOR WHO: THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR 3D Mon 07:30, 07:35, 10:00 DOCTOR WHO: THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR Mon 07:30, 10:00 FROZEN 3D Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:15 FROZEN Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:45, 10:30 THE BOOK THIEF Wed 12:20, 03:40, 06:50, 10:00

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 05:00, 08:30 FROZEN Wed 05:45, 08:45 FROZEN 3D Wed 11:45, 02:45

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 03:15, 07:00, 10:45 PACIFIC RIM Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 THIS IS THE END Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 TURBO Sat-Sun 02:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 05:00, 06:00, 07:00, 08:30, 09:15 OLDBOY Wed 04:15, 07:00, 09:25

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 FIRST COMES LOVE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00 A CASE OF YOU


Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 THE WAY, WAY BACK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 GOODFELLAS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-Sat-Sun 01:40, 04:30 BLUE JASMINE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 ELYSIUM Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:10 RUSH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 THE WORLD’S END Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:45 PRISONERS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:30 WE’RE THE MILLERS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:35 LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER Sat-Sun 01:00

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 DOCTOR WHO: THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR Sat 11:50 DESPICABLE ME 2 Tue 05:30 BLUE JASMINE Tue-Wed 07:45

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 05:30, 08:00 FROZEN Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:30, 08:00

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 05:15, 08:15 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:55 FROZEN Wed 07:00, 09:20

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:30

Century 16 Eastport Plaza 4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 ESCAPE PLAN Fri-SatSun-Mon 07:35, 10:25 CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE

OF MEATBALLS 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon 12:00, 02:25, 04:55 GRAVITY Fri-SatSun-Mon 01:35, 09:05 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon 11:05, 12:05, 02:45, 04:00, 05:10, 06:35, 07:40, 10:05 CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Fri-Sat-SunMon 01:20, 04:25, 07:35, 10:40 THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 01:15, 04:15, 07:20, 10:15 JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA Fri-SatSun-Mon 12:35, 03:05, 05:30, 08:00, 10:30 ENDER’S GAME Fri-SatSun-Mon 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:25, 10:20 LAST VEGAS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 11:00, 01:40, 04:20, 07:10, 09:55 FREE BIRDS FriSat-Sun-Mon 12:10, 05:15, 07:45 FREE BIRDS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 02:45, 10:15 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 01:30, 04:30, 07:30, 10:35 THOR: THE DARK WORLD 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon 12:00, 03:00, 06:05, 09:00 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:45, 07:15, 10:45 DELIVERY MAN Fri-SatSun-Mon 11:20, 02:00, 04:45, 07:45, 10:30 THE CHRISTMAS CANDLE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:30, 05:00, 07:30, 10:00 FROZEN Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:15, 06:05, 08:55 FROZEN 3D Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:20

Ed gefield Powerstation Theater

2126 SW Halsey St., 503-249-7474-2 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 RIDDICK Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00

Kenned y School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 DESPICABLE ME 2 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Wed 05:30 RUSH Fri-Sat-Sun-Wed 07:45 ELYSIUM Fri-Sat 10:15 BLUE JASMINE TueWed 02:30

5th Avenue Cinemas 510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? FriSat-Sun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 MUSCLE SHOALS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:00 ALL IS LOST Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:15, 09:15 ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST Fri-SatSun 02:00 THE VISITOR Fri-Sat 09:30 THE LAST UNICORN Sat-Sun 07:00 TV ON FILM Mon 07:30 KILLER CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE Tue

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:00, 06:30, 10:00 THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:45, 04:15, 07:15, 10:40 THOR: THE DARK WORLD 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 02:30, 10:50 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sat-SunMon 11:40, 05:15, 08:00 JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA Fri-SatSun-Mon 04:30, 10:30 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon 12:00, 04:45, 07:45, 10:15 GRAVITY Fri-SatSun-Mon 02:20 FROZEN Tue-Wed 11:15, 02:00 FROZEN 3D Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:30, 10:15

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 DESPICABLE ME 2 FriSun-Tue-Wed 06:30 RUSH Fri-Tue-Wed 01:00, 09:00 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Sat-Mon THE WALKING DEAD Sun 06:00, 08:00

Acad emy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 RUSH Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:00, 09:45 PRISONERS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45 BLUE JASMINE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 07:20 LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 04:40 ELYSIUM Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:15, 04:20, 06:25 JFK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:30 PLANES Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00


Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-2222010 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 03:00, 08:50 DEAR MR. WATTERSON Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 04:40, 09:10 DON JON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:40, 07:45 IN A WORLD... Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:50, 07:15 IN THE NAME OF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:40, 02:10, 04:30, 06:40, 09:30 MUSCLE SHOALS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:30, 04:20, 07:15 THE COUNSELOR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:10, 09:40 NEBRASKA Wed 11:45, 12:15, 02:00, 02:30, 04:30, 05:00, 07:00, 07:30, 09:20, 09:50 NICKY’S FAMILY Wed 12:00, 02:20, 04:50, 06:50, 09:00 THE GREAT BEAUTY Wed 12:40, 03:40, 06:40, 09:25


Willamette Week NOVEMBER 20, 2013















NOVEMBER 20, 2013













Devoted, nurturing, loving gay couple looking to adopt first baby into a family offering education, fun, travel, laughter, and unconditional love and support. Call, TEXT, or email anytime about Kyle & Adrian; 971-238-9651 or or visit

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753



TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service


1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103






Totally Relaxing Massage

Inner Sound

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955


CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology


Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.

7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527





CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 (AAN CAN)

2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134



OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine

“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!



Week Classifieds NOVEMBER 20, 2013







Can’t lose weight? Always tired? has the top three weight-loss supplements in the industry. Go to to order your life changing bottle today! (AAN CAN)




FULL $ 89







7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD Theory Performance. All ages. Tutoring. Portland







Residential, Commercial and Rentals. Complete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.


Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077






“Simply the Best Meds”




Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees


ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: (AAN CAN)




503-445-2757 •





503.445.2757 • 503.445.3647


Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. 503-546-3137

Indian Music Classes with Josh Feinberg

Specializing in sitar, but serving all instruments and levels! 917-776-2801

Learn Piano All styles, levels

With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727. VOICE INSTRUCTION Anthony Plumer, Concert Artist/Voice Teacher. 503-299-4089.



503-445-2757 • © 2013 Rob Brezsny

Week of November 21



ARIES (March 21-April 19): The poet Charles Baudelaire prayed for help, but not to God -- rather he prayed to the writer Edgar Allan Poe. Novelist Malcolm Lowry sometimes pleaded with God to give him insight, but he also prayed to the writer Franz Kafka. I really like this approach to seeking guidance, and recommend it to you in the coming days. Which hero, dead or alive, could you call on to uplift you? What amazing character might bring you the inspiration you need? Be brazen and imaginative. The spirits could be of more help than you can imagine. Magic is afoot. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): U.S. Confederate General Richard S. Ewell (1817-1872) sometimes experienced episodes in which he truly thought he was a bird. Princess Alexandria of Bavaria (1826-1875) believed that when she was young, she had eaten a glass piano. Then there was the Prussian military officer Gebhard Leberecht von Blucher (1742-1819), who imagined he was pregnant with an elephant. Sad and funny and crazy, right? And yet it’s my understanding that all of us have fixed delusions. They are less bizarre than those I cited, but they can still be debilitating. What are yours, Taurus? Do you secretly believe that a certain turning point in your past scarred you forever? Are you incorrectly wracked with anger or guilt because of some event that may not have actually happened the way you remember it? Here’s the good news: Now is an excellent time to shed your fixed delusions. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Philosopher Eckhart Tolle suggests that “there may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others.” For some of us, this numinous reflection comes from a special animal. Whatever is the case for you, Gemini, I urge you to devote extra time to your relationship with this creature in the next 14 days. Meditate on how you could provide more nurturing and inspiration. Brainstorm about the possibility of deepening your connection. What practical actions could you take to boost your loved one’s fortunes? CANCER (June 21-July 22): The Cancerian soprano Kirsten Flagstad was regarded as one of the great operatic singers of the 20th century. Critic Desmond Shawe-Taylor said that “No one within living memory surpassed her in sheer beauty and consistency of line and tone.” She specialized in the operas of German composer Richard Wagner, whose master work, The Ring of the Nibelung, takes 15 hours to perform. Flagstad was asked to name the single most important thing she needed in order to perform Wagner’s music with the excellence it demanded. Her answer: comfortable shoes. Regard that as good advice for your own life and work, Cancerian -- both literally and metaphorically. It’s time to get really well-grounded. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you ever been in a social situation where you really didn’t care what anyone thought of you and therefore felt absolutely free to act on your inner promptings? When was the last time you lost all your inhibitions and selfconsciousness while making love? Can you truly say that sometime recently you have been totally responsive to your festive impulses? If you have experienced any blockages in expressing this type of energy, now is a perfect moment to fix that. You have a date with robust, innocent self-expression. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Norwegian public television is experimenting with a phenomenon called Slow TV. In one reality show, the main character built a fire with logs and kept it burning for 12 hours. In another program, patient viewers watched for five days as a cruise ship made its way along the Norwegian coast. A third show featured a woman knitting a sweater from start to finish. I wish you would get hooked on slow-motion activities like those, Virgo. Maybe it would help you lower your thoughts-per-minute rate and influence you to take longer, deeper breaths and remember that relaxation is an art you can cultivate. And then you would be in righteous alignment with the cosmic rhythms. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’re smarter than you think you are, and soon you will be even smarter. Previously inaccessible wisdom is seeping up from the depths of your subconscious mind,

making its way to your conscious awareness. Your eyes are noticing more than they usually do. Your memory is working at peak levels. And your enhanced ability to entertain paradoxical ideas is giving you special insight into the nature of reality. What will you do with this influx of higher intelligence? I suggest you focus its full force on one of your knottiest problems. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Paris Review interviewed Mexican poet Octavio Paz. “Just how much revising do you do?” the interviewer asked. “I revise incessantly,” Paz replied. “Some critics say too much, and they may be right. But if there’s a danger in revising, there is much more danger in not revising. I believe in inspiration, but I also believe that we’ve got to help inspiration, restrain it, and even contradict it.” I bring this up, Scorpio, because I believe you are ripe for a phase of intense revision. Inspiration has visited you a lot lately, but now it will subside for a while so you can wrangle all your raw material into graceful, resilient, enduring shapes. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Costa Rica will be closing its zoos in 2014. What will happen to the 400 or so animals that are housed there? They will have to be rehabilitated at animal rescue centers and then released into the wild. I suspect there will be a metaphorically similar process going on for you in the coming months, Sagittarius. Parts of your instinctual nature will, in a sense, be freed from captivity. You will need to find ways to retrain your animal intelligence how to function outside of the tame conditions it got used to. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Will fate kick your sweet ass sometime soon? Quite possibly. You may be compelled to face up to the consequences of your unloving actions or unconscious decisions. I’m pleased to tell you, however, that you might be able to dramatically minimize or even neutralize the butt-thumping. How? Go over the events of the last 11 months, and identify times when you weren’t your very best self or didn’t live up to your highest ideals. Then perform rituals of atonement. Express your desire to correct wrong turns. Give gifts that will heal damaged dynamics. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Bill Withers became a big star in the 1970s with hits like “Ain’t No Sunshine” and “Lean on Me.” But he hasn’t recorded a new album since 1985, nor has he toured. What happened? In Still Bill, the documentary film about his life, Withers says, “I watch other people show off and I say, man, I used to want to show off. If I could just get, you know, moved to. I need a little injection in my showin’ off gland.” I wish you could get an injection like that, too, Aquarius. I’d like to see you show off more. Not in a contrived, over-the-top, Lady Gaga-esque way. Rather, the purpose would be to get more aggressive in showing people who you are and what you can do. I want your talents and assets to be better known. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I have a feeling that your value will be rising in the coming weeks. An attractive person you thought was out of your league may express curiosity about you. You could get an offer to do an interesting job or task that you had previously considered unavailable. I bet your reputation will be growing, mostly for the better. Who knows? If you put a halfeaten piece of your toast for sale on eBay, it might sell for as much as if it were Justin Timberlake’s toast. Here’s the upshot: You should have confidence in your power to attract bigger rewards and more appreciation.

Homework Forget all you know about gratitude. Act as if it’s a new emotion you’re tuning into for the first time. Then let it rip.


is now hiring LMTs! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp related exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. We are also willing to train! We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

Appointment coordination, Event & meeting planning, travel arrangements,setting appointments,raise monthly invoice. send your resume and salary expectations to : or call 503-433-5204

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES Stars Cabaret in TUALATINHiring (Tualatin-TigardLake Oswego)

Stars Cabaret in TUALATIN is now accepting applications for Servers, Bartenders, Hostess, Valet. Part and Full-time positions available. Experience preferred but not required. Earn top pay + tips in a fast-paced and positive environment. Stars Cabaret is also conducting ENTERTAINERS auditions and schedule additions Mon-Sun 11am-10pm. ENTERTAINERS: Training provided to those new to the business. Located @ 17937 SW McEwan Rd. in Tualatin...across from “24 Hours Fitness” Please apply at location.

GENERAL 503.227.1098



My name is Red and I am one cool mama! Let me tell you, I’ve got a past full of puppies – cleaning up their messes, teaching them manners, and oy, all the feeding! Whew, it has been exhausting. They are grown up and happy, and now, at 8 years old, I am ready to start the time in my life where it’s all about me! I am everything good about Chihuahua’s, I am sassy and spunky and love my cheese! I get along just fine with other animals. At 7 lbs I am a perfect lap companion, and as you can see in my picture, there is nothing I love more than a warm place to snuggle. Am I just the fabulous friend you have been looking for? Fill out an application at so we can schedule a meet and greet. I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped (and litter box trained, believe it or not). My adoption fee is $200.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd • Willamette Week Classifieds NOVEMBER 20, 2013




503-445-2757 •

JONESIN’ by Matt Jones



Across 1 “___ luego” 6 Rule opposed by Gandhi 9 Raptor pack? 12 Crop-eating pest 13 Rain-___ (gumball brand) 14 The Alfred P. ___ Foundation (nonprofit institution) 16 “Shame, that” 18 Beer with a blue ribbon logo 19 Comeback hit of 1988 20 “___ like caviar...” (Marilyn Monroe quote) 21 Long beginning? 22 In an outmoded sense 26 “___ for ‘yak’” 27 Sign of family leadership, maybe 28 “___ Beso” (1962 hit) 29 High-capacity vehicle? 30 Penn in NYC, e.g. 31 One of 140 characters, often 32 Recipe amount 35 Like most dishware 36 Article in Acapulco 37 Wrapped up 38 “Deck the Halls” contraction 39 Many of St. Benedict’s monks

42 Walgreen’s competitor 43 Less tacky 44 Shakers founder 46 “Let’s Build Something Together” retailer 47 Item where the middle is automatically marked 50 “It’s ___ Unusual Day” 51 First name in Ugandan dictatorship 52 Theo of “Sons of Anarchy” 53 Existed 54 Bono ___ (U2 lead, early on) 55 City of the Ruhr River Valley Down 1 Iowa City squad 2 Pithy writer 3 Closes, as a deal 4 Michael’s brother 5 “Battlestar Galactica” role 6 Possible result of a sacrifice 7 PC key 8 She once sat with Barbara and Whoopi 9 Prizes awarded since 1901 10 “Fawlty Towers” character 11 Full of fidgets

14 Like “the house of tomorrow” 15 “Blazing Saddles” villain Hedley 17 City claiming the world’s smallest park 20 Private economy spending gap 23 Frustrated with 24 “Jump!” response 25 Andy’s TV relative 29 Violin attachment 32 Ditch 33 All there is 34 Submitted, as completed homework 35 Worry after a bite 37 Way to count quicker 39 Show with episodes “Pettycoat Injunction” and “His Suit is Hirsute” 40 Enticing smell 41 Make noise at night 45 Cpls., e.g. 47 Last name in color schemes? 48 Words before a kiss 49 Turn down last week’s answers



Big Time--freestyle, me-style.

©2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ650. 54

Week Classifieds NOVEMBER 20, 2013



503-445-2757 •

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SEE US ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM Willamette Week Classifieds NOVEMBER 20, 2013





Do you want to be debt free? Call Now: 503-808-9032 FREE Consultation. Payment Plans. Scott Hutchinson, Attorney

$BUYING JUNK CARS$ $100-$2000 no title required ,free removal call Jeff 503-501-0711


9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture • PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500

Bankruptcy Attorney

It’s not too late to eliminate debt, protect assets, start over. Experienced, compassionate, top-quality service. Christopher Kane, 503-380-7822

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

Ask for Steve. 503-936-5923 Licensed/Bonded/Insured

Community Law Project Sliding-Scale Nonprofit Attorneys Bankruptcy - Tenants Small Business - More (503)208-4079


Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185

EMPLOYMENT LAWYER Small Business in need of assistance in area of employment law/human resources? Providing high quality legal services at affordable rates for small businesses. William E. Braun 503.997.2702

BEYOND MONOGAMY / THURS, DEC 5 - 7:30 – $20 THE JOYS OF TOYS! / WED, DEC 11 - 7:30 – $15 EXPLORING BURLESQUE: STRIPTEASE SALON / WED, JAN 8 - 7:30 – $15 FULL-BODIED FELLATIO / THURS, JAN 16 – 7:30 - $20 BACK THAT ASS UP! - ANAL SEX 101 / THURS, JAN 23 - 7:30 – $15 Register early on-line, classes fill up quickly!


BUY LOCAL, BUY AMERICAN, BUY MARY JANES Glass Pipes, Vaporizers, Incense & Candles

7219 NE Hwy. 99, Suite 109 Vancouver, WA 98665

(360) 735-5913 212 N.E. 164th #19 Vancouver, WA 98684

(360) 514-8494

1425 NW 23rd Portland, OR 97210 (503) 841-5751

6913 E. Fourth Plain Vancouver, WA 98661


8312 E. Mill Plain Blvd

Enjoy the Benefits of Massage

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.

Eskrima Classes

Personal weapon & street defense or 503-740-2666


Fine Jewelry, Gems, Beads, Crystals, Minerals, Fossils, Gold & Silver, Findings And Much More! (503) 252-8300

Opiate Treatment Program

Vancouver, WA 98664

(360) 213-1011

1156 Commerce Ave Longview Wa 98632

(360) 695-7773 (360) 577-4204 Not valid with any other offer

November 22, 23, 24 Oregon Convention Center Fri. 12-6 | Sat. 10-6 | Sun. 10-5 Admission $7 weekend pass

3400 SE Milwaukie Ave.

• Over 30 Holiday Designs in Stock • Portland's only full line kite store

20% Off Any Smoking Apparatus With This Ad!

1825 E Street

Washougal, WA 98671

(360) 844-5779

Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. 503-546-3137

Health Awareness Group

Premier Medicine OMMP cardholders safe access center 2312 NW Kearney -

Improvisation Classes Now enrolling. Beginners Welcome! Brody Theater 503-224-2227

North West Hydroponic R&R

Seeking female models, 18+ for BDSM/Spanking website. Attractive/Fit Bodies. $500+. 503-449-5341 Leave Msg.

Evening outpatient treatment program with suboxone. CRCHealth/Dr. Jim Thayer, Addiction Medicine 1-800-797-6237

Qigong Classes

Cultivate health and energy or 503-740-2666

Oregon Medical Marijuana Patient Resource Center

WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

*971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

Open 7 Days

Oregon Wage Claim Attorneys

Helping Oregon employees collect wages! Free consultation!

find more online @

We Buy, Sell, & Trade New & Used Hydro- Schuck Law (503) 974-6142 ponic Equipment. 503-747-3624 (360) 566-9243 WWEEKDOTCOM

Dekum Street Doorway A Linnton Feed & Seed Garden Store

Medical Marijuana

card Services clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

• Gardening tools • Chicken feed • Soil & Mulch • Plant starts • and more!

Historic Woodlawn Triangle at NE 8th & Deekum


503-384-Weed (9333) 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland • open 7 days

40 03 willamette week, november 20, 2013  
40 03 willamette week, november 20, 2013