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540 East 5th Avenue Anchorage AK 99501 (907) 561-7737 Fax: (907) 561-7777

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www.anchoragepress.com Publisher Nick Coltman publisher@anchoragepress.com

SONIC BOOM GOES BUST

Popular chain’s plans to open in Alaska fall flat

BY MIKE COPPOCK

Editor Susy Buchanan editor@anchoragepress.com

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COME TOGETHER

One united voice against fear

Staff Writer Ammon Swenson ammon@anchoragepress.com

17 CLASSIFIEDS 23

PRESSING EVENTS

24

GOT TIX

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AMTGARD: FINDING THE HUMANITY IN FOAM SWORDS AND CHAIN MAIL

COMMENTARY BY AURORA ALEXANDER

Calendar Editor Alejandra Buitrago alejandra@anchoragepress.com

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Business Manager Maggie Balean

How do we get a better return on our public transportation investment? COMMENTARY BY JEDEDIAH SMITH

Art Director Stefanie Vigoren art@anchoragepress.com

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Contributors Aurora Ford, Bex Farleigh, Brendan Joel Kelley, Bridey Heing, Charlie Earnshaw, Chloe Chaobal, Chuck Shepherd, Cody Liska, Dan Savage, David Fox, Debra McKinney, Ernest Turner,Geoff Kirsch, Hope Broecker, Indra Arriaga, James ‘Dr. Fermento’ Roberts, James R. Evans, Jonathan Bower, Katie Pesznecker, Kerry Tasker, Kris Farmen, Kyle Clayton, Lee Harrington, Lisa Fox, Lisa Maloney, Matt Iverson, Matt Jardin, Megan Zlatos, Mike Gordon, Ned Rozell, Nicholas Raffuse, O’Hara K. Shipe, Quinn White, Rachael Peltier, Rachel Kenshalo, Rob Brezsny, Rosanne Pagano, Sam Buchanan, Tiger Tasker, Tom Tomorrow, Young Kim, Zack Fields and Zakiya McCummings. Advertising Account Executives Bridget Mackey | bridget.mackey@anchoragepress.com Cyndi Ramirez | cyndi.ramirez@anchoragepress.com Karen Edes | karenatthepress@gmail.com Zach Menzel | zach.menzel@anchoragepress.com

SAFETY ON THE SLOPES

Copyright: the Anchorage Press is published by Wick Communications Co. With the exception of syndicated features and cartoons, the contents of the Anchorage Press are copyright 2016 by Anchorage Press. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means including electronic retrieval systems without the express written permission of the publisher.

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EVENT CALENDAR

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ANCHORAGE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL 2016

FILM REVIEWS BY INDRA ARRIAGA

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REQUIEM FOR THE 13

Is this the end of the road for People Mover’s strangest route?

BY J. BESL

THERE’S NO CURE FOR “CABIN FEVER” Anchorage Museum makes inroads with experimental films

BY KIRSTEN SWANN

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SONGS FOR THE DARKEST TIME OF YEAR

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PINK-A-RIFIC FUN AND EMPOWERMENT

BY JONATHAN BOWER

9 REVENGE? Vigilante justice in the rape capital

BY TARA BURNS

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OF MOUNTAINS AND MEN

Kayce James’ labor of love

Circulation Alfredo Samoy, Andrew James, Billy Goodwin, Corena Bell, John Bell and Leslie Farrell. The Anchorage Press is an Anchorage-wide news, features, arts, entertainment and recreation paper. Established in 1992, the Press is printed weekly on Thursdays and distributed at over 500 locations.

BY KYLE CLAYTON

Meet the Alyeska ski patrol

BY BAILEY BERG

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Anchorage’s live action role-play group

ANCHORAGE TALKS TRANSIT

THEATER REVIEW BY LEE HARRINGTON

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BY AURORA FORD

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NORDIC SKATE TO LYNX LAKE

Glide through an ice archipelago HEADLAMP BY ZACK FIELDS

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TEQUILA 61° PLUS ONE

The sobremesa lives on in downtown Anchorage RESTAURANT REVIEW BY LISA MALONEY

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KING ME

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Pinkalicous: The Musical at Cyrano’s

STOLEN CHILDREN

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FIRST FRIDAY ART LISTINGS

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD/I SAW YOU

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SAVAGE LOVE

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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MR. JULY, 2016 Photo by Kayce James

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BY MIKE COPPOCK

L

AST YEAR the Sonic Drive-In Senior Vice President of Franchise Sales and International Development Bob Franke flew 3,700 miles from the company’s headquarters in Oklahoma to Anchorage, hoping to start the ball rolling for Sonic to become a reality in Alaska. Many in Anchorage were looking forward to dining options those familiar with the chain’s Lower 48 locations have long savored; Sonic specialties such as blast drinks, tater tots and foot-long cheese conies could soon be available for the palate. Franke had roughly 20 potential franchise owners lined up for the interview process, although his firm had not worked through the Anchorage Chamber of Commerce nor the Alaska State Chamber of Commerce as other restaurant chains have when they first come to the state. “There’s a pent up demand here,” Franke told the Press in an interview last year. “It’s been very interesting to talk to people in the last 30 days. Some of the people who are interested are from the South and grew up on Sonic; they’re excited to bring the brand to Alaska.” But, before Sonic’s trademark roller-skating, driveup service could begin, Franke was going to have to take the 20 possible owners

through a 17-step process before they would be granted a franchise. Though proper funding was important, the process included successfully completing a training program in Oklahoma City and an evaluation of their credit history. A typical Sonic DriveIn employs upwards of 100 employees with five of the positions being manage-

time. The first store would be in Anchorage. Sonic’s goal was eventually to be in all 50 states. The company already has 3,500 drive-ins in 45 states. But, alas Sonic is not coming to Alaska anytime soon. “At this time, Sonic does not have confirmed plans to open any drive-ins in Alaska; however, we are constantly evaluating opportunities to expand in new markets to meet customer demand, and our goal is to have a Sonic Drive-In convenient to all customers in every state. We think Anchorage would make a great market for Sonic,” stated Drew Ritger, senior vice president of development for the Oklahoma City based firm. Sonic spokesperson Matthew Young would not elaborate on whether the problem was in finding potential franchisees willing to put up the money for an Anchorage Sonic, a downturn in the Alaska economy, Sonic pulling in expansion plans or a combination of the three. But with an uncertain economic future and local and chain restaurants closing left and right, Anchorage residents will have to get their Sonic fix Outside for the near future. And although Spenard Roadhouse doesn’t serve their food on roller skates, they’ve got some damn fine tater tots to tide you over until your next trip. n

Anchorage residents will have to get their Sonic fix Outside for the near future.

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ment. Corporate leaders felt they could handle Alaska’s legendary cold by offering indoor dining as well as its traditional car hop service. Indoor dining—which Sonic considers a nontraditional site—would cost investors anywhere from $500,000 to $1.2 million in upfront funding. Sonic Corporate would also receive five percent royalties from sales and require an annual franchise renewal fee of $4,500. Part of Sonic’s popularity Franke believes is the fact that it offers customers 1.2 million flavor combinations and that 40 percent of a location’s business is in drinks and frozen items. Franke told the Press in the September 2015 interview that Sonic had been planning a move into the Alaska market for years. They planned to open 10 stores in Alaska during a seven-year span of

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COMMENTARY BY AURORA ALEXANDER

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THINK IT’S TIME for us all to take a logical look at the results of this year’s election results. As much as I personally dislike the outcome it is necessary for the left—including myself—to accept that Donald J. Trump is officially our next president. This cannot be changed, no matter how much we rant and rave online nor how much we protest. However, I feel that I must speak up for my community and for all the communities who are locked in the headlights due to this election. What we see from this election is not so much the rise of a man many would make out to be some corporate-fat-cat-turned-new-fascist candidate, but somebody who truly threatens our rights not only as citizens but as human beings. What we see today in our country is a rampaging beast known only as fear. Many people who share my minority status are fearful to the point where they feel the need to end their own lives. Just recently I received the tragic news that a friend of mine was found dead after the election from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. And it’s not only her, there have been a fair few suicides across the country following this election. These deaths are a tragedy and show us just how much fear there is in the veins of our dearest America. On the other side, we can see the rising tide of sectarian violence from the so called “altright” against minorities. These attacks are

COMMENTARY BY JEDEDIAH SMITH

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NCHORAGE’S Public Transportation Department has proposed a bold new overhaul of the People Mover system as we know it. You may ask, why do we need to make such radical changes to the system? The simple answer is that the current system is broken. Ridership has been declining steadily for several years and this decline in ridership brings a decline in revenue; a decline in funding leads to a decline in service, which brings a further decline in ridership. With respect to public transportation. Anchorage is a city with an identity crisis. Support has not been consistent over the years. The record is clear enough, and it happened again just recently on November 15. More than a half-million dollars was cut from the transit budget, including $320,000 for service on seven days in 2017 (the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve, Seward’s Day and Veteran’s Day). We know who this affects. It is not the people who have a car at home. It’s the single mom working two-jobs and still trying to raise her kids. It’s the father with a demanding boss changing shifts on him because Black-Friday now starts on Thanksgiving Day. It’s the grandmother/grandfather looking forward to that one additional day of independence when they can be out and about. It is the university student who lives across town and still has to get to class or to work. We know who this affects, the lost jobs, the pink slips and the lost opportunity. How did it get to this point, and what do we

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not intended to accomplish anything other than begin a wave of domestic terror against all those these self-proclaimed “puritans of American pride” do not approve of. This sets up a dangerous image of the Republican party, one that many know not to be true, but many more are starting to doubt. As a transgender woman, now more than ever we need strong leaders who are willing to protect us from the storm we perceive on the horizon. Our community now lives in fear of what these next few years will bring. I have experienced fear all my life over various things but never have I felt afraid to open my door in the morning until just this year. This is what the election has brought to many minorities around the country. I fear that my rights— not only as an American, but as a human being—may be taken away simply because of who I am. This could mean that the medical treatment most people diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria receive will be taken away. So far, within the state of Alaska anti-discrimination laws only cover a few cities. Simply by leaving the Anchorage city limits I cease to be protected by those laws. It becomes legal for me to be denied employment, work and healthcare coverage. If someone were to attack/injure/murder me inside the city limits, it would be classified as a hate crime by city law. However, if someone were to do those things outside city limits the punishments are far less severe. This is what the LGBT community has been dealing with on a daily basis and this

election has stirred up a lot of hate from bigots and a lot of fear from minority groups such as the LGBT community.  Some hide and hope it passes. Many wish to run from this country to another more welcoming land. Fewer still march in the streets in protest of the hate and xenophobia that this country has shown. I grew up as the twitchy kid with Tourette’s Syndrome. I hid from bullies who wanted to pick on me, from teachers who were too stubborn to give me the patience I deserved; this election ended with me wishing to hide again. Now, I’m proud to say, I’m done with that. People like myself who are scared and afraid need to come together, to march together as one. This is our Civil Rights movement and we need to fight together as one. We must have a peaceful revolution for the sake of all that we hold dear. We need to look to the words of this country’s founders and take them to heart. If the government tries to take our hard-fought rights away we need to say, with one loud voice: NO! To all on the left I’d like to say, please, don’t hate the Republican party. Yes, it has failed in many ways but there are still many gems that stand by us and refuse to let us down. Violence is never the answer, that’s not what I’m proposing. I’m simply and honestly saying that from my heart, we need to take our fear and let it bring us together. Let us stand together as one against the storm, not as race or gender, not as political left or right, not as female or male but as citizens of

these United States of America. We the people of this country, in order to form a more perfect union, must stand by justice and wage peaceful war on those who would wish to hurt us. In the words of Mark Twain “Loyalty to the country, always. Loyalty to the government, when it deserves it.” I will always love this country. I promise you that. Thank you for your time, dear reader.

do now? Our public transportation network reflects an old Anchorage where the infrastructure struggled to catch up to uncontained development; it is a rubber-band that just got stretched too far. To the north this network struggles to navigate streets that barely fit a bus, pacing through neighborhoods composed of a patchwork of California style mobile homes; a glory of their former selves. To the south this same network gives way to roads better suited for sports coupes than 20ton buses, crawling through neighborhoods largely designed for single-family houses, but over time infused with multi-family units many of which don’t even have sidewalks. Alaska is the Last Frontier, and that most of us live here by choice is a testament to a strong soul. It is precisely this strong soul we need now to muster the courage to say that we need (and should want)—a system that meets the needs of more people, more of the time. Here exists an opportunity to do something for no additional money at all. And yes, it will mean walking further to bus stops, but it will also mean waiting for the bus less. More frequent routes will make traveling from downtown to the U-Med district a lot easier and faster. The changes will also form the foundation for a stronger, easier-to-use network should we decide to grow it in the future. The proposed changes to the network were not chosen arbitrarily. They are the product of actual ridership data—where people board and where they get off the bus— as well as data on land use, employment and neighborhood density. The changes are also driven by feedback received during an extensive study last spring

in which the public was asked to provide information on what they like about the system, and what they would like to change. Most people chose a more frequent network rather than a network that covered more of Anchorage. Ultimately for this new plan to work we must have a holistic view of Anchorage. We need to recognize where people live and where they need to go and when. We also need to consider how Anchorage will grow and develop into the future. Land use and transportation need to be two parts of the same conversation. If we consider higher density development and transportation issues together, Anchorage can and will grow into a more vibrant city with more options, rather than fewer. For all the benefits of a higher frequency network there is no doubt that some riders will be severely impacted. Under one proposal, no buses will travel south of the Dimond Center Mall, or north on the Glen Highway to Eagle River. Service will be taken away from some neighborhoods, including to my own neighborhood that hosts the Spenard Rec Center, where many residents attend monthly community council meetings, play volleyball or participate in afterschool programs. It is the responsibility of the Public Transit Advisory Board to advise the Anchorage Assembly and the Administration on transit issues. During the next week-and-a-half, members of the board want to hear how changes to the system will impact you. How much further will you have to walk to the bus stop and what are walking conditions of your route in the summer and in the winter? As you present your comments, keep in mind the context of the system and how we got to where we are now.

We want to hear what kind of city you want to live in. Is it one in which higher density land use allows for a more vibrant city? Or one in which a stagnant, neglected system can be sustained into the future by trying to be all things to all riders and subsequently nothing at all? n

Aurora Alexander is a 23-year-old life-long Alaskan who was born and raised in the Anchorage area. She spends her time on her studies and volunteer work around the city. A long time writer of short stories and poetry, she is pursuing a carrier in journalism and reporting. 

Jedediah Smith is the chair of the Anchorage Public Transit Advisory Board. Covenant House Monday, 12/5 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

Muldoon Library Tuesday, 12/13 5 p.m. - 7 p.m.

Eagle River Library, Room 170 Tuesday, 12/6 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

Ocean View Elementary Thursday, 12/15 6:30 p.m. - 8 p.m.

City Hall, Room 155 Thursday, 12/8 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

Mountain View Library Saturday, 12/17 2 p.m. - 4 p.m.

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BY BAILEY BERG

O

N THE DAY Alyeska opens for the season, Cody Burns was one of the first people there. Long before the sun breaks over the surrounding mountains and the motorcade of cars weighed down by the gear of incoming skiers and snowboarders from Anchorage hit the Seward Highway, Burns was be in the office making a game plan for the day. Burns is the ski patrol assistant director at Alyeska and is responsible for overseeing the 50 or so men and women tasked with keeping visitors safe on a mountain that boasts 1,610 skiable acres and North America’s longest continuous double black diamond run. For Burns, the season started the same way it will until the spring rains close the mountain for the season in April: A meeting with the snow safety director to determine any potential weather problems they may encounter; developing plans to mitigate avalanche hazards; and assigning his crew work runs to ensure that the whole mountain is constantly being patrolled. After the crew rolled in an hour later and the morning briefing was concluded, the team strapped on their boots, donned their red jackets, assembled their avalanche gear (an airbag backpack, shovels, poles, beacon and an evacuation kit) and headed up the mountain to make sure it was safe for the first skiers and snowboarders of the season. MEETING THE TEAM Though the group varies in age and background, one thing is constant— they’re all powder-hounds. For Burns—who has been skiing since age three—working on the Ski Patrol seemed like the obvious big-kid job choice. He’s been patrolling for 11 years. “Skiing was something I grew up doing and I thought, ‘Well, if I can make a living doing this and helping people, that would be super cool,’” Burns said. “I fell in love and now I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life.” Ken Waugh, another veteran Ski Patrol member, followed a less obvious path. As Waugh explains it, he was 15 when he started skiing and only took up the sport because he didn’t have anyone to hang out with in the winter when all his friends were out shredding their local mountain. So he bought a pair of old wooden skis with bear trap bindings at a garage sale and convinced a buddy to take him skiing. Soon he was hooked. Making the jump from recreational December 1 - December 7, 2016

skier to professional patroller, Waugh said, was in line with his personal ethos. “My whole life I’ve endeavored to live out every little boy’s dream,” Waugh said. “I’ve been a cop, a pilot, a firefighter, a medic, a ski patroller. Now I’m also a physician’s assistant, which is probably why they like having me around.” Paul Brooks, a 75-year-old who has seen over 30 seasons with the Alyeska Ski Patrol, was simply looking for a way to get involved when he moved to Alaska to take a job with the U.S. Geological Survey in 1980. Their team is supplemented with 70 volunteers on weekends and holidays and three avalanche dogs: Fundy, Kilo and Yuki. For Burns, Waugh, Brooks and many of their comrades, the drive to return year after year is two-fold. First, is the satisfaction that comes with helping visitors. “It’s a rewarding job, especially when you can help somebody,” Burns said. “Getting them out of a bad predicament and then either passing them off to higher medical or even just getting them to their car so they can drive home is really satisfying.” Second is knowing that even in the most intense situations, they have a team of people who have their backs. “The companionship of everybody on the mountain, volunteer or pro, is really something,” Brooks said. “It’s a really great bunch and I know I can depend on them.” Waugh would add that now that he’s getting older it’s getting easier to watch football all day. But knowing that he’s on the schedule and his co-workers need him, he said, is enough to get him up and on the mountain. ALL IN A DAY’S WORK A typical day for Alyeska’s team starts with their morning briefing, assessing hazards, skiing around on their assigned runs to maintain signs and helping visitors who are injured or in over their head. The latter, Waugh joked, is usually people whose significant other convinced them the best way to learn is to start at the top, because it forces you to learn how to make it back down one way or another. To be able to provide the care they do, each patroller is required to have both an Outdoor Emergency Care and CPR certification (they take refresher courses before the season starts each year), and many also have other advanced certifications. Though the most common injuries the Ski Patrol sees are jammed wrists from snowboarders and twisted knees from skiers, the Ski Patrol practices more life-

threatening mock scenarios—like someone falling down the North Face or off the chair lift—on a weekly basis throughout the season. “Yeah, you get to throw bombs and ski incredible terrain and that’s all great, but sooner or later, something is going to happen and you’re going to need to be prepared,” Waugh said. “The reason you have a cross on your back is to provide medical assistance for people who need it.” While the most rewarding days may be the ones where they’ve helped someone in need, the patrollers agree the most memorable are hours after a huge storm. Days they have to dig out paths for the chairlifts to go up, so they’re not dragging in the snow. Days when the snow is up to their waist when they get to the top and they can barely move because there’s so much fresh powder. Those kinds of grueling tasks make opening procedures much more difficult. The team will need to find weak layers in the snowpack and make the avalanches happen before the slopes are covered in visitors, which means they either ski cut the snow or create explosions that’ll send it cascading down the mountain to settle better. “There will be days we work all morning digging and doing avalanche control to get the mountain ready for opening,” Burns said. “It’ll be worth it though, seeing the joy on people’s faces when they get their first tracks of the day.” For Burns, the biggest misconception he faces as a ski patroller is that visitors will sometimes view him as a cop on the mountain. “We’re not here to prevent fun, we’re here to promote fun in a safe way,” Burns said. “We want to be a part of the guest experience, you know? Help them find a sweet powder cache that just opened and isn’t out of bounds.” Waugh echoed that, joking that misconceptions probably stem from bad ‘80s movies that depicted sexy ski patrollers playing all day on the mountain, meeting snow bunnies and having decadent hot tub parties afterwards. “It’s a lot of work, which you wouldn’t know unless you’ve ever strung 300 feet of rope or closed down a portion of the mountain just before a slide comes down or had to drag somebody off a gnarly place off the North Face,” Waugh said. “By the end of the day you’re drenched and spent and everything aches. I don’t think people always realize how much work our job actually is.” n

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reach, but with emptier buses). Earlier this month, the city decided to prioritize ridership. Currently, the public can weigh in on two proAST MONTH, the Anchorage Department of Public posed overhauls that both simplify the People Mover Transportation unveiled two potential overhauls for the system and add more frequent service to the densest People Mover system, both prioritizing increased rider- neighborhoods along the busiest corridors. If approved, ship over increased accessibility (the current system splits the the 3 would nix Nunaka Valley. The 60 would scale back difference 50/50). Regardless of which plan is implemented, on the Southside. And my dearly beloved 102 would disRoute 13 appears to be doomed. appear completely. Thank the Gods. The 13 would also largely evaporate, but that’s fine. Americans harbor a collective case of triskaidekaphobia. It’s the swampiest scourge of the system. Here’s why: Friday the 13th is one of our collective nightmares. Hospitals At present, Route 13 rolls out of UAA through resioccasionally omit rooms numbered 13. Next time you���re on an dential neighborhoods, twisting and turning at an apelevator (in one of the rare Alaska buildings tall enough to reach propriately slow speed. Next, it crosses into the Alaska 13 floors), check the panels. No number 13. Regional Hospital parking lot for a stopover. As we idle Despite all the omens and superstitions—and disregarding before the emergency room doors, I think how odd and any transportation lessons learned from Apollo 13—the People convenient it is for public transportation to deliver pasMover gave us Route 13. Fittingly, it’s a strange route that’s best sengers straight to the ER. Then, I realize, anyone who left avoided. actually needed to get here would have probably bled The People Mover proposals aim to streamline the transit out on the slow crawl through Airport Heights. system. Well, if the city needs an example of a circuitous route Eventually, the driver leaves the hospital and heads that provides few favors for its passengers, it’s the 13. If Anchor- downtown via DeBarr. But then, curveball of curveage were a water park, the 13 is the lazy river. If the city is a balls, we take a left turn on Medfra (Yes! I know! MedCandyland board, the 13 is Molasses Swamp. If it had human fra!) to link to the Anchorage Senior Center. features, the eyes on the bus would go round and round, rolling Many senior citizens rely on public transit and— in apathy. credit where it’s due—the 13 is just. So. Very. AccomI’m among the thousands of Anchorage residents who com- modating. After stopping by the front doors, the bus mute primarily by bus. I ride at least 10 times a week between circles the entire senior center and returns to the same two super-hubs—downtown and UAA—and I’ll often bus to spot. By the time we get back to Medfra and 15th, five friends’ houses, libraries, grocery minutes have passed with stores, etc. It’s easy, green, conve- If Anchorage were a wa- no forward progress. nient (for me) and I hate driving. After weaving through ter park, the 13 is the lazy Between downtown and UAA, the streets of Fairview, the I’m spoiled with five options. When river. If the city is a Candy- 13 gingerly crosses Ingra—a gushI miss the 3, a direct connector, I land board, the 13 is Molas- ing stream of northbound trafknow the frequent 45 won’t be long. fic—and instead turns on Hyder, a If I’m really lucky, I’ll catch the 102, ses Swamp. If it had human desolate road lined mostly by parktruly the unicorn of Anchorage features, the eyes on the bus ing lots. Worse, the 13 turns left on bus routes (operating pretty much Hyder. With downtown towers in never, this rare but beautiful beast would go round and round, sight, we boldly head in the wrong boomerangs through downtown on rolling in apathy. direction. a route where red lights are rare and Sitting on the 13, my skin crawls left turns are rarer). The far-flung 36 is obviously not my option, with each painfully slow turn and unhurried redirect. And this as it hugs Turnagain/West Anchorage, but the 13 seems bliss- is just one half of the route. From UAA heading east, the bus fully benign, a loping zigzag across the city. serves another 25-mile-per-hour neighborhood at Checkmate Often, when I’ve missed the 3 in the dead of winter, the 13 and Emmanuel before reaching the finish line at Muldoon beckons with its bright lights twinkling “Downtown.” I know Transfer Center.     it’s a mistake, but it’s cold and I can’t help but climb aboard. Like Currently, the only bus that takes longer to reach its final destraversing the doldrums, there’s no wind in the sails but at least tination is the 102, which covers double the distance on the way it’s warm. So I steer into the Bermuda Triangle of bus routes, to Eagle River. To be fair, the 13 isn’t trying to deliver passengers hoping to someday make it home. between downtown and Muldoon (the 3, 8, 15 and 75 connect All of this, of course, could change. Earlier this year, the Muni those dots quicker). And again, to be fair, 13 isn’t trying to serve released a 99-page transit document, thoughtfully considering my needs, but rather the good people in quiet neighborhoods demographics and density to determine whether ridership (fre- near U-Med and Airport Heights, who will lose their meanderquent service on fewer routes) outweighs accessibility (greater ing bus coverage under either proposal.

L

The Muni’s plans affect every route in the system, shuffling existing resources to boost some routes at the expense of others. In the most drastic option—100 percent of resources focused on ridership—the 13 disappears completely. At best, the less extreme plan cuts the 13 to an hourly lasso, traversing highridership Fairview, circling the senior center and returning downtown. Nothing is guaranteed to change, though, as the Muni held several public discussions throughout November to weigh riders’ feedback. Should the 13 disappear, consider this my unhelpful eulogy: I will miss you, 13, for making me viscerally aware of how many streets exist in Anchorage. You always remind me that public transit is a team effort and someone, somewhere, at least once, boarded this thing at Hyder and 11th. You have made me contemplate (for hours) that riding the bus requires a beautiful surrender of personal power. You remind me of the Snake game on my old Nokia. But we’re better culling your world tour to amp efficiency elsewhere. You can find me at the Transit Center, pouring one out for the 102. n

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who—after a traumatic childhood and teen years spent homeless and hitchhiking back and forth across the country—killed a customer she claimed anally raped her. After that she just kept on killing. Barbour’s origin story is similar to Wournos’: She was subjected to continuing sexual assaults at the age of three which a judge described as the most physically extreme case of child abuse he had ever seen. The perpetrator, her Uncle Rick, served less than half of his 19-year prison sentence and was convicted of having child pornography only a couple of years after he was released. “It’s something I’ve struggled with all of my life. He will never change. None of them ever do. The legal system is supposed to protect people from these people. It doesn’t. It didn’t protect me … People think I’m a monster, but I’ve done a lot of good,” Barbour said of her alleged dozens of murders which she says spared hundreds of young girls from abuse. “The justice system doesn’t work, so I did what I did.” Barbour’s claim that the justice system doesn’t work—at least in sexual assault cases— has been echoed by many. Children in Alaska are sexually assaulted at a rate six times higher than the national average. According to STAR (Standing Together Against Rape) 30 percent of Alaskan sexual assault victims are not able to access services. It is estimated that, nationally, only three to 12 percent of child sexual assault cases are reported to police. According to RAINN (the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) only seven out of 344—just two percent—of sexual assault reports lead to convictions.

T’S A FAMILIAR STORYLINE in comic books: The hero or someone close to them is attacked, justice is not served and the character becomes a vigilante hero. In real life, though, vigilantes aren’t considered heroes, and two Alaskan victims of child sexual abuse are currently imprisoned because of vigilante actions ranging from stabbing someone to death to beating people with a hammer. In 2014 former North Pole resident Miranda Barbour, then living in Pennsylvania, placed an ad on craigslist offering paid companiontence. There is no release date,” Vukovich wrote ship for men who hate their wives. She waited to the Dispatch. “I realize no organized modfor the client who responded to join her in her ern society can tolerate vigilantism, however car, while her new husband crouched down in no reasonable court can think that justice is the backseat. If the man agreed to have sex with served when someone who allegedly assaulted her after she told him she was 16, she would kill three convicted child molesters is expected to him. If he declined, she would let him go. Acserve four or five times as long in prison as they cording to Barbour, Troy Laferrerra loved the did—combined!” idea of having sex with a 16-year-old, so she Vigilantism makes for good storytelling, stabbed him over 20 times while her husband but in real life it is a slippery slope. The earliest had a cord wrapped around his neck. form of organized vigilantism were “vigilance She claimed to have committed dozens of committees” much like modern neighborhood other vigilante murders in Alaska, Texas and watches. Similar to the very publicized murder California. of Trayvon Martin by a vigilante neighborhood Vigilantism is associated with frontier towns watch member, early vigilance committees rewhere citizens lack the protection of the crimisulted in organized violence by groups of midnal justice system. dle and upper-class men perpetrated mostly Alaska, The Last Frontier, is known as the against members of the lower class and marRape Capital of the country and Anchorage ginalized groups. Similarly organized vigilante has earned the shameful title of the most dangroups also became lynch mobs. Modern vigigerous city in the country for women. Many lante groups, on the other hand, have taken to have questioned whether the incredible prevaposting names of alleged rapists in bathrooms lence of sexual assault in Alaska is related to alert potential victims of dangerous to a lack of protection by Alaska’s criminal Does the trauma of being people in their communities, claiming justice system. Does Alaska have more vigithis is more effective than relying on the lantes than other states? No one seems to be assaulted—or the second- justice system to ensure public safety. tracking vigilante crimes, but earlier this Does the trauma of being assaulted—or year a Nebraska man was charged with the ary trauma of an insufficient the secondary trauma of an insufficient vigilante murders of 27 sex offenders who response by the justice sys- response by the justice system—create lived near him. vigilantes? It happens in comic books, so I In some ways, Alaska might encourage tem—create vigilantes? turned to Noah Berlatsky, author of Wona little bit of vigilantism: Alaska Statute der Woman: Bondage and Feminism in the Earlier this year Anchorage resident Jason Marston/Peter Comics, 1941-1948. 12.25.030 allows citizens to arrest those they reasonably suspect of committing a felony. Vukovich is alleged to have broken into the “This story that [Vukovich] is telling about Back in the late ’90s when I worked the over- houses of three men listed on the Alaska sex of- himself, that he was traumatized and therefore night shift at the front desk of a downtown fender registry for crimes against children and he has to go mete out justice is a superhero stoFairbanks hotel (in violation of the curfew brutally assaulted them with a hammer and his ryline,” Berlatsky said. “The way that superhelaw at the time—I was 16) I was encouraged to fists. In September, Vukovich sent an intrigu- ro stories generally work is that the superhero make citizen’s arrests of intoxicated people who ing letter to the Alaska Dispatch News: If con- goes out—there’s injustice that the law system presented a persistent nuisance come time for victed of the assaults he could face well over 60 can’t handle, or handles poorly, and therefore the hotel guests to start waking up. Sometimes years in prison; instead he offered to serve—in the superhero goes out and handles it with I would have several inebriated people in hand- succession—the sentences received by the three some extreme of violence.” Berlatsky pointed cuffs in the back room before an overworked child molesters he assaulted plus that of the out that in some stories, like True Detective, a Fairbanks Police Department officer showed man who molested him as a child—eight years trauma origin story is responsible for police ofup to collect them. No officer ever questioned and nine months. ficers turning to the path of justice as well. “Grown men who suffer physical wounds my age or informed me that the law might not Dr. Jeffrey Bale, an expert in terrorism, orpermit me to be putting people in handcuffs will heal, children who are maligned physically, ganized crime and countercultures, said that spiritually and emotionally grow up but never vigilantes do believe that they are doing the over misdemeanor behavior. Miranda Barbour’s claims reminded some of become what they could have been. A molested morally “right” thing. He also thinks that “a Aileen Wournos, the “hitchhiking prostitute” or beaten child automatically receives a life sen- dysfunctional justice system that fails to catch

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and/or adequately punish perpetrators of crimes and abuses is one major cause of vigilantism.” Alaska’s history of insufficient responses to child sexual abuse has touched many lives, including my own and that of many I know. One of the more heartbreaking stories I heard was during a recorded interrogation of a sex worker. An Investigator with the Alaska Bureau of investigations kept bringing up her history of being sexually abused as a child, seemingly in an effort to unsettle her before coming back to questioning her about escorting. Finally, she explained her previous experience with police to him: “It’s on record what he did to me, it’s on record that my mom’s a piece of shit that never did anything about it … APD did nothing, told me that I was a liar … the case was closed because I was not a virgin. When I did go to the hospital I wasn’t a virgin, obviously, cause my brother’s been fucking me and my stepdad’s been fucking me [they] told me I was a liar, shunned me.” This woman did not become a vigilante. I did not become a vigilante after a Fairbanks prosecutor decided not to charge a case against my father—that Troopers had spent months investigating—because he thought juries didn’t like girls like me. My auntie didn’t become a vigilante after police told her not to make up stories about her father when she tried to report her abuse. The woman I was hanging out with last night did not become a vigilante after police chose to believe her family—who sided with her abuser against her—when she tried to report her own sexual abuse as a preteen. Why do some people become vigilantes and others not? Pam Karalunas, the chapter coordinator of Alaska Children’s Alliance, explained, “when a [child] victim decides to tell and the system designed to protect them fails, it is a betrayal that we can only begin to imagine. Some children respond by complete withdrawal and hopelessness; some by deciding that they have no value whatsoever; some decide suicide is the only way out; some numb their feelings by drug and alcohol abuse and some take back their power and express their rage in whatever ways they can to make sense of what has happened and to make the world a fair place in which to live.” n

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BY AURORA FORD MET THE LOVELY Kayce James a couple of years ago when she plopped down in a bench at the Smoke Shack in Seward where my friends and I were having breakfast. They knew her, and introduced me, but I didn’t get the connection until later when I later saw Mr. December (my friend Ian Ryerson) in the 2016 Mountain Men of Alaska calendar, a collection of scantily clad, homegrown hunks. I instantly loved the idea, and so does most everyone else I’ve learned, because she’s now sold several thousand calendars that have ended up as far away as New Zealand and Sweden. Her photos are creative and funny; featuring badass Alaskan men of all shapes and sizes engaged in activities that range from gold-panning, dog-sledding, iceskating, mountain-running, beach-frolicking and horseback riding to piloting and everything in between. On top of that, her caption and quote choices really make the whole calendar. They’re all funny or poignant, but my favorite photo/caption combination goes to a burly Alaskan gentleman standing confidently tall in front of his airplane, with hands loosely holding his brown leather jacket open to his bare chest as though he were Clark Kent about to expose Superman. That’s really the most substantial piece of clothing he’s got on. Otherwise, he’s wearing old fashioned pilot goggles and leather helmet, a white silk scarf and boxer briefs. The quote Kayce added is by Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy author, Douglas Adams: “Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground … and miss.” Kayce 31, was born and raised in Pennsylvania, but she’d been to Alaska with her family as a kid, and later with her college cross-country ski team, so she wasn’t quite a stranger when she and some of her housemates in South Carolina decided to come to Alaska for the summer a few years back. She applied for a job guiding horseback tours, and—like it has for so many of us—Alaska got right into her skin and here she remains. Her day job now is as a special education aide at a middle school in Seward. During the summer she is the owner/operator of Kenai Riverdog, a float trip service out of Cooper Landing. In the past, she also worked a few winters teaching outdoor, hands-on classes about coastal ecosystems to school groups in South Carolina and Georgia. But, of all the job duties Kayce has had in her life, my favorite by far is that during an internship in Florida, one of her jobs was to scrub manatees with a giant squeegee. The thing about Kayce is that she never personally told me any of this stuff. With every right in the world to brag about her laundry list of adventures and accomplishments, I still

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found out about most of it from other people. Bragging isn’t her style. She is sweet and considerate, a little shy, endlessly creative and accidentally funny. If I said any of that to her face, she’d probably turn pink and humble her way right out from under the compliments. I’d have liked her regardless, but as fate would have it, we ended up sharing a tragedy that changed our friendship. Kayce and Ian Ryerson became friends two years ago after he’d agreed to be one of her calendar models, though he’d previously only met her in passing. Like most of her models in the early stages, Kayce and Ian had a mutual friend who suggested he’d fit the bill and talked him into it. Now, she gets messages from women all over the state asking how they can get the man in their lives into her calendar, but in the beginning it was mostly friends of friends. She shows up with a loose idea of what she’s looking for, then she and her model get playful. Often, they surprise her. The colorful onesy and floaty adorning Mr. August on the beach, for example? He just showed up like that. Ian and his wife, Kari, took a trip down to Seward in March of 2015 to visit Kayce where she dressed him up (or down, as it were) in his boxer shorts, some suspenders, Xtra Tuffs and a santa hat. For good measure, they added an empty Jagermeister bottle (because why not) and snagged one of the unused fish carts from the docks. The previous night, Kayce had run into another generously bearded fellow in Seward working on the icebreaker/science research vessel Sikuliaq that was set to leave port in a few days. She asked him if he might want to do a little modeling himself. He not only agreed, but recruited a third, equally bearded co-worker to join. The next day, after Kayce and Kari had posed Ian in all manner of silly setups in that fish cart and on the dock with his Great Dane, she added in the two Sikuliaq crew members. Their beards, while impressive by normal standards, didn’t hold a candle to Ian’s. She posed the three of them in similar garb (very little)—with the new gentlemen staring in puzzlement at Ian standing across from them. She called that one, “Beard Envy.” It’s one of my favorite photos of our friend. Last December, only a month after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and when it was already becoming apparent that time was short, Kayce came to visit Ian and Kari and took a photo of six-foot-four Ian and their little eight pound chihuahua, Big Carl, in front of their Christmas tree. Kayce

dedicated her Mr. December slot in the 2017 calendar to Ian, using that photo. He’s the only person who’s ever been featured in her calendar twice. The calendar went to print after he passed in May. Ian was a man who truly lived his life to an extent most people never will. Kayce captioned December 2017 with, “You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.— H.L. Mencken.” Yet again, she nailed it. Ian wasn’t the only friend Kayce has made as a result of her endeavor to document Alaska’s toughest and goofiest men. She’s ended up on a multitude of fun trips and a few misadventures with some of our state’s most interesting guys. All good sports so far, her models have stripped down in the coldest of conditions, sat in frothy washtubs of freezing water, been mauled by mosquitos and waded in glacier fed rivers. A couple of months back, wanting to know more of these stories and “learning experiences” in Kayce’s blossoming career as our state’s premier photographer of badass dudes, I packed up my dog, Rusty, and drove down to her house in Seward (appropriately called the “Burly Man Bunkhouse”) to spend the night with her and her dog, Porter. I dropped my stuff off at her house and we drove out to the Lowell Point trailhead; one of her favorite little hikes and one that I— despite my 20 years residing in this state—had somehow never experienced. We spent the next several hours walking out to the beach, playing on the colossal tree stumps at the water’s edge and watching Rusty and Porter become new friends while Kayce experimented with some cool new camera tricks she’d learned. I mentioned another friend of mine who does really fantastic boudoir photography; which is kind of the opposite-sex version of Kayce’s project, only without all the goofy. A large part of her job revolves around making her subjects feel loose and comfortable so she can capture them at their most magnetic. I asked Kayce which of her models so far had needed a little help to get comfortable—since most of them are naked or quite close—and how she’d managed to facilitate that for them. She pursed her lips together for a moment, thinking, then told me, “You know, I haven’t really had to do that with any of them. They mostly just … well … ” she made a motion with both hands as if she was throwing a pair of pants up over her head. Men are from Mars, after all. After our walk we popped into Chinook’s for dinner and drinks, and then moved on to another bar in town. To me, it

Just recently, she received a phone call from a very flustered lady who explained, basically, that she is a Christian and was deeply offended by all the butts.

December 1 - December 7, 2016


looked like Kayce knows everyone in Seward, and most of them seemed to be aware of her unique little project. Not everyone, apparently. She told me she does try her best to keep the calendar out of conversation until she knows if it’s going to be well-received. I was astonished that she’d worry anyone could possibly look at such a wonderful, hilarious and good-natured project as Mountain Men of Alaska and consider it “seedy,” but, as it turns out, I was

vastly overestimating the humor of prudes. Just recently, she received a phone call from a very flustered lady who explained, basically, that she is a Christian and was deeply offended by all the butts. Luckily, most people she encounters have more of a sense of humor. One night in Seward, deep in the wee hours, Kayce grabbed her friend Andy after his band had wrapped up a show at a local bar and they drove down Lowell Point Road in search of a good viewing spot for an unexpectedly bright show of the northern lights. He stripped down and stood tall in the middle of the road with his bare backside toward Kayce, flexing his arms and facing Seward, the snow-covered mountains and a thick, bright stripe of green aurora before him. As he was waiting for her to get the perfect shot, a car came around the bend into view and Andy bolted for cover. They thought they were in the clear and that no one had seen Andy’s naked behind escaping into darkness, but she soon found out they were wrong. When she posted that photo online a couple of days later, a comment appeared beneath it saying, “So that’s what was going on down Lowell Point Road at 2 a.m. the other night!” At least the people in that car could lay to rest any concerns they’d been harboring that Seward might have an exhibitionist on the loose. Another time, in the late spring of 2015, as the deadline was fast approaching to submit her 2016 calendar for print, she was still missing a Mountain Man to fill her last open month. She’d already done a shoot with a musher, but he backed out at the last minute and left her with little time to find a replacement. Lacking any other short term options, and nearing creative panic, she set up a short notice flight with Seward Helicopter Tours to fly up to Godwin Glacier. She’d resolved to more or less fall at the mercy of the mushers who live up there during tourist season to guide dogsled tours on the glacier. Their residential conditions are quite austere; they stay in canvas tents and have only satellite phone, so there was no way to let them know in advance that Kayce was coming, or to ask if any of them would be willing to pose for her calendar, but she hopped in the helicopter anyway. December 1 - December 7, 2016

When she arrived and tracked down the guides, she discovered that she needn’t have ever worried. There, she met Wyatt, who was on board with little to no persuasion. Kayce bundled herself up as best she could as the sun was beginning to sink behind the mountains and the temperature was dropping fast. She loaded up onto the back of a snow machine driven by another guide, feeling both extraordinarily relieved that the universe had granted her a willing model on short notice and a bluebird day on the glacier to boot—and also feeling cold just looking at Wyatt who rid himself of all bodily coverings except those on his feet—hopped on a sled and took off with the dog team toward a snowy mountain ridge. Unplanned as the event was, Wyatt’s photo ended up gracing the cover of the 2016 calendar. Wyatt’s mom bought a bunch of them, proving that good sport must run in the family, and now sends Kayce Christmas cards every year. Wyatt’s family flew up to Alaska last summer to spend a day rafting with Kayce, and he went from stranger to fond friend, all because Kayce took some pictures of his bare buns on a dogsled. My favorite photo from her 2016 calendar is of a guy called Popcorn. He’s a rafting guide on Six Mile river, and, as Kayce explained to me, “popcorning” is when you fly up out of your seat while rafting, hence, she guesses, his nickname. He’d just gotten off work one day in the summer of 2015 and headed to the Russian River to do some fishing. Kayce was fishing down there as well and ran into Popcorn and some of their other mutual friends. She brought up the calendar and asked this long-haired, bearded, hearty Alaskan man if he’d mind posing while fishing in his half-peeled-off dry suit in one of our region’s most loved fishing spots. He didn’t hesitate at all; instead he went into full ham mode. At one point, Kayce pointed at an already filleted fish carcass on the rocks and rather vaguely said, “Do you think you could, you know … pick that thing up and hold it or something?” To which Popcorn responded, “I can do you one better,” and put that dead fish right in his mouth in a half bite, half devious grin that—despite being a little disgusting—still manages to be sexy and hilarious at the same time. To Kayce though, perhaps the pinnacle of the encounters that she’s had as a result of her art project thus far, was with David Norris, the winner of the 2016 Mount Marathon race that takes place amidst Alaska’s largest Independence Day celebration. He set the course’s all-time record this past summer at 41 minutes, 26 seconds. She scheduled a time with him in late August this year to do a photoshoot atop the mountain he’d conquered just a few weeks before. Kayce is an outdoorsy woman and no slouch, but she knew that if she was going to meet David at the top, she’d need to get a real head start on him; in case you’ve never attempted to climb Mount Marathon before, it is absolutely, deliriously brutal. She began making her way up the 3,022 foot mountain about an hourand-a-half before David even arrived in town thinking this would get her to the top with enough time to rest and recover before he appeared for their photo shoot. She decided to take the runners trail and not the hikers trail, as the former is shorter overall and she thought could be done more

quickly. Turns out, she had way overestimated her abilities, and way underestimated the temperature in late August and the amount of water she was going to need in order to stay cool while hiking with a backpack full of camera gear. Shortly into the hike she was already thirsty, sweating hard and, as she puts it, “making huffing sounds that would scare off bears in a five-mile radius.” Half an hour in, she fell down to rest and texted David to say that she was going to take longer than she’d expected, and also asking if he might be so kind as to pack some extra water for her on his way up. She was already battling extreme embarrassment, and might have turned back except that she’d made an appointment and would not stand up a model she’d been so looking forward to photographing. She eventually emerged from the treeline and came to a fork in the trail. Choosing the path to the right, thinking that it looked less steep and foreboding (which turned out to be the opposite of the truth), she plodded on, attempting to make it at least 20 steps at a time before having to rest. Finally, she sat down, feeling exhausted and humiliated, and sent another text to David saying, “I am defeated.” He replied with, “I’ll find you.” He appeared shortly thereafter from the trail she’d forgone thinking that it would have been harder, running like he was on flat grass and not a precarious slope of scree and dust, and handed Kayce a bottle of water. From there, he lead her up the easier path and finally they emerged together at the top of Mount Marathon. He spent a little shy of half an hour running and leaping around the peak of the moun-

tain, flying through the air with an American flag held high in both hands. He was behaving for all the world like a mountain goat just risen from a good, hard nap—and not a human being with only two legs who’d just run the mountain 1.5 times, factoring in his side track to find our dear protagonist. After she’d taken enough photos to call it good, David apologized for having to ditch her, as he had to make it back to Anchorage for a mountain racing award ceremony (of course he did)— and bolted off toward sea level. When Kayce got to the bottom of the mountain more than an hour later, there was a text waiting for her from David that said, “You’re a badass! Let me know you made it home.” Since then, Kayce’s made a concerted effort to run and hike every day, and told me one of the last times we spoke that her goal was to sign up for the Mount Marathon race this summer. One never knows when an absurdly hard hike and a half naked guy might turn out to be a new friend and a transformational experience. If, like me, you’d like to see Kayce keep Alaska’s unique and fantastic brand of man on display for years to come, go check out her website or find her calendars on her Etsy store. Knock out all your Christmas shopping for those lady friends who need to know what a real man looks like while doing a naked headstand in the wilderness. n

For a better look at Mountain Men of Alaska, or to purchase a calendar, visit Mountainmenalaska.com or etsy.com/ shop/KenaiRiverdog.

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UGGY, BRUSHY, and flat— Nancy Lake State Recreation Area is not my favorite destination in the summer. In early winter, however, its myriad lakes and sloughs become an ice archipelago that is ideal for nordic skating. After several months of boot-slogging around at a walker’s pace, it is exhilarating to fly across the ice on metal blades. Nordic skating has existed for a long time. Before the era of climate change, Swedes would skate across frozen ocean water from island to island near the coast. More recently, nordic skating has become popular in Alaska, particularly as new weather patterns push the ski season farther and farther back. Southcentral’s more extreme tides generally preclude skate-based ocean travel, but when cold weather precedes snow it creates countless skating opportunities. From the Swan Lakes system on the Kenai to Jim Creek in the Mat-Su, there are numerous lake and river systems where Southcentral residents can skate into the backcountry. One of the most accessible is Nancy Lakes State Recreation Area, including the Lynx Lake route. Nancy Lake Recreation Area is one of the most developed in the state. It has established portage routes marked with orange signs that are generally visible from the lakes. Public use cabins on Lynx, Red Shirt and other lakes are common glamping (glamour camping) destinations. Though most visitors use boats, skis or snowmachines to cross the lakes, there is also a hiking trail system that connects many of the lakes and cabins. Though the infrastructure was primarily designed to support summer watersports or winter snow travel, the portage trails and cabins make it exceptionally easy to skate across numerous lakes and sloughs in a day or weekend with little risk of getting lost. What Nancy Lake Recreation Area provides in convenience and safety, it takes away in loss of solitude. Several of the lakes in the area have private cabins and the well-marked trail system feels about halfway in between Central Park and actual wilderness. Of course, it is never too far from the backcoun-

try—if you don’t like marked trails, just head southwest into the vastness of the streams and lakes in the lower Susitna basin. Tanaina Lake trailhead, located four miles from the Parks Highway on Nancy Lakes Parkway, is the most convenient way to access ice skating at Nancy Lakes. It is about an hour-anda-half from Anchorage and requires either a day fee or possession of a state park pass. From the trailhead, just walk a few yards down through the woods to

channels open up on Frazer Lake, and the series of easy portages and lake skates continues. It only takes a few hours to skate the Lynx Lake loop that begins and ends at Tanaina Lake. With a little more time—about a half to three-quarters of a day—you can continue south and explore one or more of the Butterfly Lakes. There is a boardwalk-covered slough near the southern end of Lynx Lake that connects to the Echo Ponds. On a map, they look like lima beans that a child strung together with thread. At ground level, that thread is a narrow, wandering iceway linking the ponds together. Several lakes later, skaters arrive at East Butterfly Lake, named for its dual wing shape. Butterfly Lake is a little farther west. On slightly larger lakes such as these, proceed carefully if the cold has not been deep or prolonged. There may be ample ice on smaller ponds but thin ice or open water on larger lakes. From East Butterfly, more ambitious skaters can make their way west toward Red Shirt Lake, without the benefit of such well-marked and maintained portages. Leisure skaters can turn back north, returning to the well-marked Lynx Lake loop. The southwest half of the loop first crosses Charr, Owl and James Lake, small water bodies that pass in quick succession amidst short, easy portages. A slightly longer portage connects James Lake with Chicken Lake, which can sometimes have thinner ice than its neighbors. Whoever named “Big Noluck” and “Little Noluck” lakes—which are to the north of Chicken—clearly was not on ice skates. Big Noluck has enchanting little bays and islands that invite exploration. From Little Noluck Lake, the longest portage of the day—still very short—connects back to Tanaina Lake after a crossing of the diminutive Milo Pond. The ice skating season can be short in Southcentral. After the snows come, Nancy Lake Recreation Area will be the province of skiers, snowmachiners and fat bikers. In this early winter interlude, take a day to skate the lakes, meandering through marsh grasses between shimmering frozen pools decorated with intricate ice crystals from last night’s freeze. n

The narrow channel meanders through sandy-blonde grass, with winter’s low sunlight filtering through the tip tops of lakeside spruce.

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Tanaina Lake, checking out the map on the way down. Of course, it is wise to bring a map and GPS as well, though several of the portages have maps posted. Tanaina Lake has portages at its south and east ends, and taking one or the other will determine whether you are skating the Lynx loop clockwise or counterclockwise. This description is of the counterclockwise option. Like most of the portages, the short walk from Tanaina to Milo Lake only takes about five minutes. Nordic skates (approximately $100 per pair, available at Alaska Mountaineering and Hiking) detach from your skate ski boots making the walk much easier compared to lumbering along on hockey skates. Then it’s another few minutes across Milo Lake before a short portage to Ardaw Lake. Ardaw has a couple of lobes you can explore; the easternmost leads to the next portage across to Jacknife Lake. One of my favorite parts of the Lynx Lake loop is the series of sloughs and ponds between Jacknife and Frazer Lakes. The narrow channel meanders through sandy-blonde grass, with winter’s low sunlight filtering through the tip tops of lakeside spruce. After skating through this dreamscape, the small

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RESTAURANT REVIEW BY LISA MALONEY

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December 1 - December 7, 2016

T ONLY TAKES three words to describe that awkward moment when you sit down in a restaurant and realize that the waiter is an ex-boyfriend who did you seriously wrong: Awkward, inevitable (at least in a town like Anchorage), and ... interesting. Still, it’s enough to drive a gal to drink. So, after a second waiter graciously stepped in to take over my table at Tequila 61°, I nursed the tequila-based El Diablo cocktail ($14)—which has distinguished itself as the restaurant’s most popular drink in the seven months since they’ve been open, and could almost masquerade as a ginger margarita—and pondered life, love and heartbreak until my good friend and dinner date arrived; let’s call her Dancing Foodie. The menu at Tequila 61 is a collision of the bright, cheerful flavors that I expect of traditional Mexican cuisine, but only our “small plate” guacamole ($9) starter could be called conventional; everything else has at least one adventurous twist. Our waiter explained that the menu was set by a chef they’d brought up from Mexico City, which certainly matches the ornate white Spanish Baroque—or on this continent, colonial—ornamentation behind the bar and the old world feel that somehow emerges from the eclectic assemblage of decor. Dark wood tables sporting heavy chain links in a few places that said “Spanish galleon” to me. There’s also a small, steampunk-looking cabinet in the corner with exposed gears and delicate copper piping that I think is supposed to mimic a still, and oak barrels that could have held whiskey but—given the setting—no doubt were used to age tequila instead. But I digress. Back to the adventurous menu, which is, so far, interesting enough to keep me coming back, even through occasional hits and misses. We both went for tacos that day—a tactical error when, on a second visit, I realized many of the larger dinner dishes weren’t available at lunch. But in the meantime, Dancing Foodie’s salmon al tamarindo tacos ($12) had garlic-butter salmon and grilled pineapple smothered in a chipotle-tamarind sauce and topped with paper-thin, crispy shreds of fried onion. The result was sweet and surprisingly hot in the spicy sense—a slow, nosedripping warmth that didn’t really kick in until you’d had time to get through two of the three tacos—although not a lot of salmon texture made it through the sauce. I had a half-formed idea that my jicama shrimp tacos ($14) would have chunks or shreds of jicama in the tortilla. Instead, softened slices of jicama—a wonderfully mild, crisp and juicy root vegetable— were the tortilla, layered with coconut shrimp, pico de gallo and a creamy chipotle salsa, which played much more nicely with the other flavors than Dancing Foodie’s tamarind sauce, which was just a little overwhelming. Still, we both felt good about our meal—especially the piso 61° ($8), a slice of artisanal cheesecake topped with an intriguing squash mousse and decorated with a few candied walnuts and berries—and the time we spent visiting. We spent almost four hours at the table, not because the food was slow in coming out—quite the contrary!—but because

Tequila 61°'s torta ahogada. PHOTO BY LISA MALONEY

the steady trickle of diners never filled the place completely, and nobody even batted an eye at the idea that we’d linger to relax and chat long after the food had been cleared. For my second visit I returned with another friend, Baker Foodie, and we laid right into the “small plates” menu with the chicharrón mignon ($13)—a meal in itself of deep-fried filet mignon pieces marinated in another slow-burning serrano pepper sauce, served with guacamole and corn tortillas—and the shrimp ceviche ($16). Have no fear: There is no uncouth breading on this filet mignon, just a trace of not-unpleasant chewiness imparted by the abrupt cooking. The serving was generous enough that we had to ask for more of the homemade tortillas, delivered piping hot in a small paper wrap, and would eat this again in a heartbeat as its own small meal. We weren’t as fond of the shrimp ceviche, which came out pressed into an unusual “cake” shape that we picked apart with corn chips. Small cucumber wedges were the most flavorful part of the dish; every other taste, even the pickled onions, got lost in the acidic lime juice that’s used to “cook” the raw shrimp. Unable to sample the larger dinner plates I’d had in mind, I went for the torta ahogada ($12). It’s useful here to know that ahogada means drowned, because the torta ahogada consists of a house-made bolillo bun—a little bit like a hoagie—filled with pork carnitas and a bean-corn spread, then drowned in a tomato-based sauce. I’m used to eating bolillos with my hands as an open-face sandwich, so I was grateful for the waiter’s early warning that this is strictly a knife-and-fork dish. There ended up being just too much tomato for me to enjoy the flavors of the pork, and I couldn’t even find the beancorn paste; but I don’t regret the adventure of trying it. Baker Foodie had a similar experience with her marnier salad ($9, plus $4 to add

chicken): All the parts of the salad were great, from the fresh mixed greens to the kalamata olives, cherry tomato wedges and candied walnuts. But the mustard vinaigrette—and in fact, pretty much everything—was lost beneath the overwhelming sweetness of the honey chipotle dressing. Still, we wrapped up our lunch almost two hours later, feeling content about the time we’d spent visiting. The first year in any restaurant’s “life” is a telling time, and so far Tequila 61° has established an old world atmosphere that blends touches of friendly, hip and casual and is subtly anchored by the constant, unobtrusive presence of a general manager during dinner time. And it’s clear that the sobremesa—the wonderful Latin American tradition of visiting, drinking or simply relaxing and digesting after the eating portion of your meal—is completely at home here. The admittedly few pieces of the menu I got to sample were an adventure in hit or miss, but I appreciate the boldness represented in the menu and the one consistent flaw—overpowering sauces—can be easily fixed with a bit of attention in the kitchen. Meanwhile, the chicharrón mignon and piso 61 in particular were both so good that I can’t get them off my mind, which is my measure for “gotta go again.” So I’ll definitely be back to try a few more dishes and see what other goodness awaits—even if I have to keeping dodging my ex to get there. n

TEQUILA 61° tequila61.com; 445 West 4th Avenue 274-7678. Open Mon. - Wed. 11a.m. - 10p.m., Thurs. - Sat. 11a.m. - Midnight.

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SHOW

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December 1 - December 7, 2016


BY JAMES “DR. FERMENTO” ROBERTS

K

ING STREET BREWING Company celebrated five years of explosive success in November. They first appeared on my radar in 2010 when I noticed a liquor license application in the Press announcing the new brewery. I drove to the location in South Anchorage on King Street and peered through dusty windows into the shell of the building. I tucked my business card in the door and waited. I remember talking to owners Shane Kingry and Dana Walukiewicz as they were fixing to open. Their barely contained excitement was typical of new brewers. Walukiewicz and Kingry admitted that they didn’t want a whole lot of hype as they got organized to add more suds to Alaska’s already rich tapestry of beer. Both were long time homebrewers with professional backgrounds in the less esoteric callings of finance, internet technology, real estate, home remodeling and construction. The duo started out thinking small. A 3.5-barrel brewery made sense until they started researching userfriendly, more automated systems to produce primarily mainstream, high quality beers to start. A seven-barrel brewery started making sense, but a 10-barrel system wasn’t that much more in terms of financial burden and that’s what they settled upon, but with an eye for future growth. The brewers settled on a location a few blocks from the long-defunct Bird Creek Brewery on 76th Avenue. Bird Creek was the first post-prohibition microbrewery in Alaska. According to Kingry, the location was “relatively affordable, but not out of the way,” referencing the widening of King Street over the years and increased drive-by Shane Kingry and Dana Walukiewicz of King Street Brewing. traffic in the primarily industrial area. COURTESY IMAGE King Street’s core beers garner local praise for style, auwas 2/3 IPA and 1/3 Irish stout which came out perfect. I thenticity and simplicity. These are tough characteristics to market in an industry where standing out seems to be the think this came out better than if we tried to brew a black IPA norm. The brewery’s fans appreciate the clean, easy drinking straight as the hops from the straight up IPA are absolutely Blonde, Hefeweizen, Pilsner, Amber, IPA and stout, all with a nod to brewing’s German ancestry. In 2012, not wanting to add to the core lineup, the brewers started mixing beers. “We’ve been doing something fun at the brewery lately that seems to have caught on,” said Walukiewicz. “One night as things were getting quiet, we started talking about new beers coming out in the market. One in particular caught our eye: A Black IPA. As you know, we are pretty limited in our line-up of beers we can manage due to only having three fermentation vessels—not to mention only eight taps in the tap room— fresh and aromatic and the stout is formulated to maximize so we got a little creative. We started mixing beers at the tap roasted barley, coffee and chocolate notes. Together you get and the result was phenomenal. We mixed up a pint which the best from both worlds.”

The mixing structure has been going strong ever since. Six or seven different combinations of beer produce noteworthy results. In 2013, King Street started canning beer, broadening the market for their increasingly popular product. Of particular interest to me was the introduction of “tall boy” 16-ounce cans with wide mouth openings—almost the whole top of the can comes off with the pull—that enhances the rich aromatics of the brewery’s forever beautiful Hefeweizen. Kingry and Walukiewicz slowly abandoned their day jobs and focused on their core love of brewing. “I quit my job in April of last year. I’ve been at this for 18 months now,” says Walukiewicz When you’re growing, you put a lot into it; it’s your capital and your heart. I had to ask myself; how do I want to deal with life? I had to focus on my love, which is my family and this brewery.” “It’s a similar story for me,” says Kingry. It was time to change something. I want to be able to focus on something which is my family and this brewery.” The brewery’s dabbled in bottling as well, but on a very limited scale. I have one of every bottled beer the brewery has produced in my vintage collection. Looking back, Walukiewicz and Kingry appreciate the local response. “We are blessed with the immediate, profound reception we got,” says Walukiewicz. “We feel very fortunate of the great support Anchorage has given us,” adds Kingry. There’s much ahead. “Yeah, the rumors are true. We’re looking at something bigger because we’re busting at the seams,” says Walukiewicz. “We don’t have space here and it’s we’re trying to keep up with what people want,” he says of aspirations that are not global, but geocentric. “People come down here from Fairbanks and they want our beer there. We don’t have that reach. We’re hopeful that in the next few years we can get to these folks,” he says. Kingry agrees. “Our goal is to serve a greater part of our state. We want to be able to provide for all of our Alaskans first.” Could King Street get bigger? You bet. “None of our beer gets down to Juneau,” says Kingry. “We get requests all the time. We might serve the Lower 48, but only if we have the capacity.” Steadfast, rock-solid, quality beer that’s locally-produced and serves Alaskan’s palate is the goal. Still, King Street stands out by standing out. “We don’t do things because someone else does. We do what we want. Shane designed the IPA. We did a lot of test batches to get exactly what we wanted. The pilsner is 100 percent mine. I’m all over that beer because I drink it every day. I brew the beer that I want to drink and other people seem to enjoy it too,” is Walukiewicz’s mantra. It works. n

Steadfast, rock-solid, quality beer that’s locally-produced and serves Alaskan’s palate is the goal.

APPLICATION FOR TRANSFER OF LIQUOR LICENSE 4th Annual

Repeal of Prohibition Party Saturday Dec. 3rd

Live Music, flappers and gangster atmosphere, food, prizes, mischief!

Pasta Avanti, LLC d/b/a Pasta Avanti located at 302 G St. Anchorage, AK 99501 is applying for transfer of a Restaurant Eating Place AS 04.11.100 liquor license to Lahn Pad Thai Downtown Express, LLC d/b/a Lahn Pad Thai Downtown Express located at 302 G St. Anchorage, AK 99501

WEEKEND SPECIAL Hot Links with Eggs 530 East Benson Blvd. (In the Metro Mall) Tuesday thru Sunday 7am-3pm

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Interested persons should submit written comment to their local governing body, the applicant and to the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board at 550 West 7th Ave, Suite 1600 Anchorage, AK 99501.

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317 W. Fireweed Lane • (907) 274-6132 Facebook.com/Reillysirishpub December 1 - December 7, 2016

15


blotter. COMPILED BY AMMON SWENSON

The report doesn’t mention why the man decided to exit residence sans clothing. Maybe he needed to cool off after allegedly assaulting the woman inside with a pair of scissors.

least she bothered to show up to class.

CHILL OUT, MAN On November 18 a female in Fairbanks contacted troopers saying that a man had stabbed her friend in the ear. The injured woman wasn’t able to call police because the attacker was still there. When troopers and Fairbanks International Airport police arrived and approached the door, they heard a man saying “I’ll (expletive) shoot you.” Understandably, the law enforcement officers began backing away from the door. At this point the human pile of excrement made his appearance unarmed and completely naked. The report doesn’t mention why the man decided to exit residence sans clothing. Maybe he needed to cool off after allegedly assaulting the woman inside with a pair of scissors. Luckily, the woman only had a small cut inside her ear and a lump on her head. Oh yeah, police also found 42 pot plants growing inside. Sounds like there was plenty of weed around for the dude to chill the fuck out and avoid physically assaulting a woman. He was arrested on charges of third-degree assault and fourth-degree drugs misconduct, but apparently the assault charge was the only one filed in Fairbanks court.

STASH THE GOODS Troopers responded to a residence in Soldotna regarding a tip about a guy with warrants out for his arrest on Saturday, November 19. When they arrived they weren’t able to find the man in question, but they did make contact with a Soldotna woman whose day was about to go downhill pretty quickly. Unfortunately for her, upon further investigation troopers found that she had an outstanding warrant for failure to appear from an original charge of misuse of plates/registration. When they told her about this she tried to hide some heroin that she was carrying. She apparently wasn’t sneaky enough. Troopers saw her trying to conceal her stash and promptly arrested her. Can you really blame her though? Living in Soldotna would drive anyone to get high.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN! On Tuesday, November 15, Troopers showed up at Glennallen High School after they received a report of a student with marijuana. The teenager was found to have a gram of weed and a glass pipe. The report says that the school will be taking action against the girl and troopers are forwarding a charge of MICS 3 to Juvenile Justice for review. It’s a good thing law enforcement showed up, because this is probably the first documented case of a teenager being found in possession of weed … Hey, at

to have the police “kick out” her roommate. The caller was given information on the proper legal procedure for eviction of a roommate. The caller was not happy that the police would not circumvent the legal process and evict her roommate. Wednesday, October 19, 10:51 a.m.—Caller reported two eagles arguing over a seagull carcass. The caller stated the stench from the carrion was wafting through the open bay doors. The eagles were persuaded to move their brunch to a location further from the building. Thursday, October 20, 6:52 p.m.—Officers responded to a report of an individual with a warrant. The doppelganger in question did not have a warrant although he did resemble a person that did have a warrant. Saturday, October 22, 11:33 a.m.—Caller reported a possible mutiny aboard a fishing vessel as the crew was not listening to the captain and refused to get out of bed. The caller called back and reported that everything was fine now and the crew was working. An officer responded and confirmed that there were no mutinous scurvy dogs upon the vessel. Saturday, October 22, 7:41 p.m. – A caller reported that an individual was posting rude comments on Facebook and she wished the conduct to stop. An officer contacted the offending poster who advised that she had only posted the rude comments after the original caller had first posted rude comments on her page. The officer suggested that the two “unfriend” and block the other and remove all rude posts. Both agreed to the compromise. Wednesday, October 26, 9:39 p.m.—Caller requested assistance for his friend who drank bleach. The caller was unwilling to give the friend’s location and was vague on any details surrounding the incident. The caller eventually stated he had checked on his friend and no assistance was needed and he refused to provide additional information. Saturday, October 20, 10:27 a.m.– Caller reported receiving harassing text messages. An officer was able to mediate between the two involved parties who came to amicable solution to their mutual dislike of each other. n

MEANWHILE IN UNALASKA… From the Dutch Harbor Police blotter: Tuesday, October 18, 12:02 p.m.—Caller reported she lost her iPad. She later called and reported that she had found her iPad Tuesday, October 18, 4:12 p.m.—Caller reported she wanted

VOWELS ON VACATION

ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S “STARTING SOUND-ALIKES"

ALASKA SUDOKU By John Bushell

7 6 8 9

9 1

5 7

2

4

7

2 5

5

6

3 2 6

8

8

9

7

5 3 6

LEVEL: CHEECHAKO | PIONEER | SOURDOUGH√

16

Each row, column and 3-by-3 box must contain every digit 1 to 9. A true sudoku puzzle only has one correct answer. Created in Alaska, these puzzles are guaranteed to entertain. John Bushell’s, Alaska Sudoku, book of puzzles and Alaska facts can be found in stores throughout the 49th State and at < roadtunesmedia.com >.

Which City in Alaska, Fairbanks,

ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S SUDOKU

7 1 7 9 3 2 5 4 8 6

ALASKA SUDOKU - PIONEER

6 2 4 7 8 1 5 9 3

8 3 5 4 6 9 7 2 1

3 1 2 5 4 7 9 6 8

9 5 8 6 1 3 2 4 7

4 6 7 2 9 8 3 1 5

5 8 1 9 3 4 6 7 2

2 4 3 8 7 6 1 5 9

7 9 6 1 5 2 8 3 4

Sitka Spruce 05812305

December 1 - December 7, 2016


REAL ESTATE

Frontiersman M at- S u V alley

marketplace LOCAL REALTOR SPOTLIGHT

Where did you grow up? What did you do before What is the most that? challenging/gratifying QAmongst Q Q aspect of what you do? the redwood Information ACalifornia trees in Ben Lomond, Adesign, Technology – Database Staying on top of, and documentation, ahead of, the knowledge A implementation and bank: Interest rates, laws, trends, loan packages, What area do you live in training. architectural and esthetic now? What do you like Q directions, marketing most about it? What is your specialty? techniques. Palmer Alaska! The Q people, the views, the Awalkability. Assisting my customers to achieve Atheirandrealclients What is the most unusual property goals. Q thing you’ve encountered while working in Real What do you enjoy doing Estate? when you’re not working? QReading, What designations do volunteering Q you have and what does showing homes at -10 the box with the key Aand political activism. that mean for the people you AWhile

Beth Fread

Associate Broker, GRI, SRES 907-354-7759 • www.leerealtyllc.com

Q A

How long have you worked in Real Estate? 11 years or my whole life. Both my parents were Brokers, my maternal grandfather was a builder and my paternal grandfather was an investor.

Lee Realty, LLC 10116 W. Schulz Drive • Wasilla • $397,500

work with? GRI (Graduate Realtor Institute), SRES (Senior Real Estate Specialist) – it means I took extra training to be able to more fully understand and meet my customers needs, especially empty-nesters/ retirees.

A

wouldn’t open. I called the broker and he said, “hit it with a hammer”, so I did. It opened right up!

Q

What is the most unique property you’ve listed or sold?

I have an investor/client What do you see in the who only buys distressed Qfuture for real estate Aproperties – it’s hard to pick sales/prices? just one. Real Estate is always a better investment than A What are the top 3 things renting if you’re going to be there for about five years. Q that separate you from If you can separate yourself your competition? from the emotional, buy. My heritage in real Aapproach estate, my pragmatic to transaction Why should someone processing and my love choose you as their real Q for looking at real estate to estate agent? meet my client’s goals. My clients say, “Bill and Beth take that valueA What is one tip you have added extra step in all they do; and shopping for real for someone looking to Q estate with Beth is fun and buy or sell a home? profitable!” For a Buyer, find a like and Atrust.lenderFor you a Seller, clean and empty your home as much as you can and still live there.

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1133 San Antonio Street, Anchorage

Coming Soon

Vacant Land - Lots Of Gravel For Road Building. Last Of The Great R-1 Parcels Remaining In Anchorage. Mls #16-1960 4.29 Acres Zoned R-1 Nw Corner Of Elmore And Lore Roads.

(907) 222-8800 l www.residentialmtg.com

907-242-4212

Rebecca Brown Cottonwood Lake Wasilla, AK 99654 Gorgeous floatplane accessible lakefront home on 1 acre with upgrades galore in excellent commute location on Cottonwoood Lake. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and oversize 3 car garage. This is the dream home you’ve been looking for!

Cell (904) 349-4729 Call today to setup a viewing! XNLV289023

1620 Eastridge Drive #203

WELL MAINTAINED AND CONTINUALLY UPDATED!

Fourplex Investment Opportunity on Extra Large South Facing Lot

$138,900

Eastside location, easy commute and close to JBER

1251 Friendly Lane, Anchorage

3628 Sycamore Loop, Anchorage

3,888 SqFt 13,025 SqFt Lot

Call for a Showing Anita Bates 907-244-6188

2.5 Bathrooms 1,400+ SqFt XNLV303637

$509,000 16-11185

anita@dwellrealtyak.com Located at the end of a cul-de-sac. Upstairs units have fireplaces and decks. Common laundry on ground level. 96% efficient boiler added 2010. 96% efficient water heater added 2013. Consistently good rents with 2 upper units at $1200 and 2 lower units at $1150. Carport parking for each unit. Tenants pay electric. Directions: From Muldoon, east on E. 11th, south on Friendly Lane to end of cul-de-sac.

December 1 - December 7, 2016

YOU’LL LOVE THIS CHARMING 4 BEDROOM HOME!

Regina MacDonald

This 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo, spacious walk in closet in master, a balcony with views of the mountains, in unit washer and dryer. New paint throughout, laminate flooring in the common areas, and carpet in the bedrooms. Quiet, well- Call to schedule an appointment established neighborhood close to downtown and Bases. XNLV290215

714.253.2674

$265,000 16-16556

Call for a Showing Anita Bates 907-244-6188

XNLV303638

XNLV289945

$1,250,000

Alaska is our home. Doesn’t it make sense to choose a local mortgage company whose loans are originated, processed, underwritten and closed right here in Alaska?

XNLV290156

OUTSTANDING UNOBSTRUCTED MOUNTAIN VIEWS

anita@dwellrealtyak.com

Well cared for, cozy little house that lives large! Fenced yard, storage shed, attached single garage. New kitchen floor, gas range, new garage unit heater in 2015. Directions: From Muldoon, East on 36th to Sycamore Loop. South on Sycamore to property on right.

17


107 Homes for Sale /Wasilla

225 Homes for Rent/Wasilla For Rent Remodeled 2 bedroom Mobile Home Washer/dryer, small yard, includes utilities. No Dogs, off West Schrock Road 900.00 month plus deposit 907-373-0455

2380 N. PROSPECT DR WASILLA, AK Beautiful Alaskan property for sale by owner in Meadow Lakes area, 2,460 sq.ft, 4 Bedroom, 2.5 Bath on 2.5 Acres. The propery features an artesian well, man made pond with dock, slab port for future garage, and horse ready space complete with ground cover. $257,000 OBO Call 373-8005 to schedule a viewing. 150 Lots/Acreages VAIL ESTATES 1 ACRE LOTS All Utilities, Paved roads, 5 minutes from Trunk & Bogard $52.5K Owner Fin. Avail. 354-1215 200 Apts. for Rent/Palmer

LARGE 2BD APT.

Newly Remodeled! Gas/Water Included. No pets and No smoking $900.00 mo. and $600 sec. dep. 746-4512 205 Apts. for Rent/Wasilla

For Rentals in the Valley Call 352-1824

traceybrewington.org 225 Homes for Rent/Wasilla For Rent Remodeled 2 bedroom Mobile Home Washer/dryer, small yard, includes utilities. No Dogs, off West Schrock Road 900.00 month plus deposit 907-373-0455 One- Two Bedroom Duplex Apartment, available now. $1100.00 + $1100.00 Deposit One -Three Bedroom Duplex Apartment, available December 5th. Fully carpeted, washers and dryers. All utilities paid except electricity. No pets/smoking or Alaska Housing. Near Wasilla High School. $1150.00 + $1150.00 plus deposit. 907-373-5115

325 Legals STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA IN THE FAMILY COURT OF THE TENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT COUNTY OF ANDERSON DOCKET NO.: 2016-DR-04-1705 NOTICE OF ADOPTION PROCEEDINGS TO THE DEFENDANT: ANGELO BELTRAN, BIRTH FATHER AND JOHN DOE, BIRTH FATHER YOU ARE HEREBY GIVEN THE FOLLOWING NOTICE: 1. That an adoption proceeding was filed in the Family Court of Anderson County on August 5, 2016, and in this Complaint you are alleged to be the father of a Caucasian/Hispanic, female child born in Victorville, California, on July 26, 2016. 2. That the Plaintiffs in the above captioned Notice are not named for the purpose of confidentiality; however, the Court knows the true identity of the Plaintiffs and in responding to this notice, you are required to use the caption and the number 2016-DR-04-1705. 3. That if Notice to Contest, Intervene or otherwise Respond is filed by you with the Court within thirty (30) days of the receipt of this Notice of Adoption Proceedings, you will be given an opportunity to appear and be heard on the merits of the adoption. To file notice to Contest, Intervene or otherwise Respond in this action, you must notify the above named Court at Anderson County Courthouse, Clerk of Court at 100 South Main Street, Anderson, South Carolina, 29624 in writing of your intention to Contest, Intervene or otherwise Respond. The above named Court must be informed of your current address and any changes of your address during the adoption proceedings. 4. That your failure to respond within thirty (30) days of receipt of this Notice of Adoption Proceedings constitutes your consent to the adoption and forfeiture of all of your rights and obligations to the above identified child. It is further alleged that your consent to this adoption is not required under S.C. Code Ann. Section 63-9-310 and that your parental rights should be terminated pursuant to S.C. Code Ann. Section 63-7-2570 (7). This notice is given pursuant to S.C. Code Ann. Section 63-9-730 (E). Raymond W. Godwin, Esq. (SC Bar #2162) PO Box 354 Greenville, SC 29602 PH (864) 241-2883 FAX: (864) 255-4342 ATTORNEYS FOR PLAINTIFFS Date: November 7, 2016 FR#6117 December 1, 8, 15, 2016

18

256 Commercial/Shop/Warehouse

Valley Business

Come to where the shoppers are!

Wasilla

Carr’s Shopping Ctr.

485-2847sf from $1.35/sf Contact Cycelia Gumennik Call 376-6300 or visit www.carrgottstein.com 399 Help Wanted Matsu Events Office and Sales Staff Days & Eves. Fun work & Easy$! 907.631.6011 400 Employment Program Officer Mat-Su Health Foundation (MSHF) in Wasilla, AK seeks a full-time Program Officer to advance MSHF goals related to its Healthy Foundations For Families focus area. The person selected for this job will work collaboratively with organizations, individuals, funders, and state agencies towards supporting healthy, resilient families in the Mat-Su. Annual salary range is $60 to $90K DOE with full benefits package. Job description and requirements are posted at healthymatsu.org. To apply, send cover letter, resume, and 3 references to mshfjobs@gmail.com. Open until filled 515 Lost and Found Found Veterans ball cap with ship and reunion pin on hat. Found near Trunk/Tern rd. 907-745-8222 617 Computers/ Electronics "COMPUDOC” In home repair since

the 90’s. Off hours OK, 376–8285. Used Computers 611 Arts & Crafts

Picture this: The perfect present! Scrapbook Goldmine of new inventory. Photo Albums, Quick Kits,Wall Organizers, Paper Punches, Stickers, Stocking Stuffers. CC & Cash.Text 907.406.0838 to schedule shopping appointment in Eagle River before December 16th.

633 Firewood

652 Pets/Supplies

FIREWOOD Tree length Birch Saw log Spruce Contact Bond Bros Logging at 715-4019

Spaying and Neutering is Important to us!

652 Pets/Supplies ATTENTION Readers!

It has been brought to our attention that a puppy scam is targeting animal lovers. Readers are asked to wire money to a seller who is either out of the country or out of state, with the promise that the seller will ship the animal once the wire transfer has been received.

BE AWARE

If you can not speak to a person locally through a phone call or email without verification, please make sure not to give out ANY personal information.

Bring us your puppies and we will spay your Momma dog at NO COST! For more info call Alaska Dog & Puppy Rescue (907)745-7030 695 Misc. for Sale Solid Oak Teachers Desk With 3 drawers. Valued at $600.00. Only $25.00 907-631-3773 OAK SNACKBAR STOOL $15.00 CALL: 907-631-3773

695 Misc. for Sale Adjustable Leather & Suede Office Chair. Top of the line. Valued at $300.00 $35.00 907-631-3773

Please Check Your Ad: We ask our customers to check their ad on the first day of publication. If you have any questions please call us at 352-2250.

We at the Frontiersman take every precaution to protect our readers and ask that they look for red flags and consider the following when purchasing an animal: • Purchase locally • Be wary of ads that do not list a telephone number, but an email address only • Have the animal examined by a vet before purchasing Classified Advertising (907)352-2250

Alaska SPCA Low Cost Spay Neuter Clinic 907-562-2999 549 W. Int’l Airport Rd, Anchorage Spay-neuters, microchips, rabies, vaccinations, nail clips, MOA licenses Great prices year-round www.alaskaspca.org

400 Employment

400 Employment

Senior Home Loan Originator Denali Federal Credit Union is looking for a Senior Home Loan Originator to work in our Wasilla Office. Come find out why competitive compensation, top of the line medical/dental/vision benefits and a generous 401k matching policy are just a few reasons Denali is a great place to work! For a full job description or to apply, visit www.denalifcu.org/careers

633 Firewood

FIREWOOD & LAND CLEARING

Birch and Spruce Cut, Split or Log length for sale 907-242-2529

Contact Alex at

human.resources@denalifcu.com You Belong Here.

with any questions you may have!

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XNLV301865

marketplace

December 1 - December 7, 2016


At Your Service XNLV296467

PROTECT YOUR TOYS!

All About Vapes Affordable Vapes and Vaping Supplies

SECURE YARD STORAGE

AKSALA

BOAT, RV & TOY

Snow Diverters • Snow Stops

Schedule Your Appointment Today!

746-7800

FOR CPR, BRODY SAYS CALL TUNDRA TRAINING AT 373-3483

TUNDRA

TRAINING

Serving the JBER Area ONLY.

Caring Cleaning Services

An Excellent gift throughout the Holiday Season!

P.O. Box 140562 ~ Anchorage, AK 99514 510-269-7536 ~ sharoncaringcleaningservices@gmail.com

AMROCK SEPTIC H S Same Owner Since 1989 Pat & Charlotte Murray

www.shamrockseptic.net

With Our• 357-4140 Love & Thanks 376-7448 Fax:357-4141 www.shamrockseptic.net

GrassHopper

Fax:357-4141

LANDSCAPE MULCH

New Construction & Existing

40+ Years of Service • Water Heaters • Pressure Tanks • Conversions • Remodels

Delivery Available

Rounds starting at $85.00 Squares $10.00

376-7448

Residential & Commercial

907-841-9426

Trust us for quality hay

Get Your 357-4140

Advanced Plumbing & Heating, Inc.

Lawn Maintenance & Landscaping Licensed & Insured Commercial & Residential

4561 E. Palmer Wasilla Hwy • M-F 8-5

NATURAL • RED • BROWN XNLV299887

All types & brands of equipment

Certified-Licensed-Bonded-Insured (907)746-5190 advplumb@mtaonline.net

Round Bales Square Bales

376-8733

XNLV298470

Classes available weekly. M-F: 12:30pm - 5:30 pm Wasilla, AK 99654 (907) 373-3483

XNLV291382

Professional onsite training available for your business!

Septic Pumping Septic Pumping Mat-Su Area Mat-Su Area

FREE ESTIMATES!

Snow Removal Dillon Shear dmshear@gmail.com

907.841.4345

XNLV301367

Enroll in classes now!

24-7 365 Service

3 Hours: $100

390 Main Street • Wasilla, AK 99654 for contests (907) 414-0659 • k9cutsalaska.com and prize details!

magicmetalsinc.com

Your Local Source for Quality CPR, First Aid, and EMT certification and training.

(with meal: + $30)

• SNOW PLOWING • SANDING • SHOVELING • ICE MELT 4th Plow Free!

Like Us

1-800-478-6242

5 Hours: $125

Sharon’s

XNLV268911

Locally Owned & Operated

We would love to clean your home and prepare a meal for your family.

Professional Home Inspections LICENSED • BONDED • INSURED 907-227-3720 Biff Warner biffsproinspect.com

530 E. Steel Loop • Palmer

Metal Roofing & Building Components

XNLV236908

Thank you for your service!

XNLV293375

CONCERNED ABOUT SNOW FALLING ONTO YOUR WALKWAYS?

s f f i B

720 E. Schelin Spur Palmer, AK 99645

XNLV178696

Licensed/Bonded Yvonneasolano@gmail.com

907-707-1030 OFFICE 907-707-1035 FAX

XNLV279196

Yvonne Solano 746-1082 Cell: 232-2276

Convenient Location: 2090 E. Palmer-Wasilla Hwy. behind TARGET • Wasilla

XNLV297872

Commercial & New Construction Cleaning Service

XNLV296729

STORAGE

Monday thru Friday 8 am - 6 pm Saturday 9 am - 5 pm

XNLV300327

Mile 71.5 parks highway • Willow, Alaska 99688

Alyeska Tire

Rates as low as $40/ month

XNLV296492

907-444-7453

XNLV285491

XNLV298873

Open Monday - Saturday 9A - 5P 1-907-671-2303

Call today to place your ad

352-2264 352 -2264

email: classads@frontiersman.com December 1 - December 7, 2016

19


XNLV303896

MODERN DWELLERS CHOCOLATE LOUNGE 530 E. BENSON BLVD • IN THE METRO MALL WWW.MODERNDWELLERS.COM

Gold Rush Liquor Alaska’s Largest Locally Owned Liquor Store! Open Daily! | 907-344-2200 8661 Old Seward Hwy., Anchorage, AK 99515

We now accept Apple and Android Pay for fast and convenient check out.

Gift packs & stocking stuffers along with liquor filled chocolates & copper mugs Lindemans Gift Box 2 bottles +2 glasses

CHAMPAGNE of the Month Piper Heidsiek Brut from France

Gift Pack

Crown Royal Canadian Whisky Regular or Gift Pack

21.99

Gift Pack

750 ML

750 ML

$

Stella Artois Bottle + 2 Glasses

19.99

$

19.99

$

39.99

$

Lamarca Prosecco 750 ML

11.99

$

you save 16.00

Lagavulin 16 year Scotch

12 Cans / Bottle

750 ML

54.99

$

Josh Cabernet 750 ML

12.99 each

$

or by the case (12) for $10 each

Duvel Collection 4 Bottles + 1 Glass Gift Pack

22.99

$

Wine

16.99

20

17.99

$

11.99

$

16.99 Korbel Sparkling Wine Select styles 750 ML

15.99

$

6 Bottles

$

11.99

$

750 ML

Ace Pineapple Cider

750 ML

Los Cardos Argentina Malbec

1800 Tequila Reposado or Silver

750 ML

750 ML

9.99 each or

19.99

$

$

by the case (15) for $9 each

Robert Mondavi Private Selection Bourbon Barrel Cabernet

Oban 14 Year Scotch 750 ML

69.99

$

Jameson Irish Whiskey 750 ML

24.99

$

750 ML

9.99

$

Noval - Black Port, 750 ML . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18.99 Cambria - Benchbreak - Chardonnay or Pinot Noir, 750 ML . . . 16.99 Kendall Jackson - Grand Reserve Chardonnay, 750 ML . . . . . . . 17.99 Cooks - Sparkling Wine, 750 ML . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.99

Offer Good 11/30 through 12/31

3L

$

Smirnoff Vodka Kissed Caramel

Baileys Irish Maui Brewing Cream Select Styles Regular or 6 Cans Gift Pack

Black Box Assorted Varietals

Sierra Nevada Various Styles

13.99

$

Spirits

Dalwhinnie Scotch, 15 year 750 ML . . . . . . . . . Glenmorangie 10 year old Scotch, 750 ML . . Tito’s Vodka - Regular or Gift bag, 750 ML. . . Maker’s Mark Bourbon, 750 ML . . . . . . . . . . . .

69.99 34.99 19.99 24.99

Beer

NEW - Guinness - Antwerpen Stout. , 4 Bottles . . . . . . . . . Deschutes Brewery - Assorted Styles, 12 Bottles. . . . . . . Coors Original or Coors Light, 30 Cans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bud Light Lime, 18 Cans. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

See more monthly specials at WWW.GOLDRUSHLIQUOR.COM We stock over 6,200 BRAND NAMED wine labels | Bush Order 1-888-344-2252

10.99 17.99 25.99 20.99

Find us and Like us on

December 1 - December 7, 2016


December 1 - December 7, 2016

21


ON STAGE NERVIS REX SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10TH, 8- 11PM NO COVER

HARD ROCK CAFE ANCHORAGE 415 E Street | Anchorage AK 99501 WWW.HARDROCK.COM

Wüsthof® Stainless 8 pc Steak - Black Box Sale

Le Creuset® 2.75 QT. Enameled Cast Iron Shallow Dutch Oven Sale $130.

00

$49.

99

MSRP $230

MSRP $120

Savings $70!

Wüsthof® Classic 3.5” Parer Sale $39.99

Woll® 8” Diamond Plus Induction Fry Pan Sale $49.

99

hurry while supplies last!

MSRP $78

Savings $38!

Holly Jolly Savings

Savings $100!

MSRP $79.95

Savings $30!

99 Classic Sale $49.

Wüsthof® 5” Santoku

Wüsthof® Classic IKON 7 pc Block Set Sale $299.99

MSRP $135

Savings $85!

Wüsthof® Gourmet 18 pc Block Set Sale $199.

99

MSRP $658

only at

Savings $458!

MSRP $700

Savings $400!

570 E BENSON BOULEVARD • 279.4455 22

METROCOOKS.COM /metrocooks

@metrocooks December 1 - December 7, 2016


DECEMBER 1 - DECEMBER 7 THU DEC 1

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THU DEC 1 COURTESY IMAGE

THU DEC 1

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“TRAIL TALES”

49th State Brewing Company, 6:30 p.m.

The Chugach Park Fund and Alaska Trails are excited to present the first Trail Tales. In the spirit of Arctic Entries, storytellers will share sevenminute stories about their trail experiences, adventures and life in general. Come enjoy this fun event and support great trails in the Chugach and across Alaska. Food and drinks will be available for purchase throughout the evening. The storyteller list includes: Lanie Fleischer, Blaine Smith, Betsi Oliver, Jen Aist, Reth Druir, Rebecca Sherman, Matias Saari and Harlow Robinson. $10. (717 W. 3rd Ave.)

SUITES AND SLEIGH RIDES: A FREE HOLIDAY CONCERT Discovery Theatre, 7 p.m.

For all ye Christmas Carol Lovers—the Anchorage Community Concert Band Presents Suites and Sleigh Rides, a holiday concert. The concert would not be complete without playing one of the 10 most popular pieces of Christmas music worldwide Sleighride, composed by Leroy Anderson in 1948—and many other classics, Free. (621 W. 6th Ave.)

CD RELEASE CELEBRATION TapRoot, 7 p.m.

Peggy Monaghan and Kathleen Bielawski’s CD Release party. Kathleen is a composer, pianist and music instructor in Anchorage, Alaska. She is the owner of Frozen Music Productions, through which she composes and publishes her music and writing, while maintaining a successful private and classroom music teaching studio. Peggy is a versatile and entrancing performer with an acoustic repertoire that encompasses lilting Irish songs, blues, country, folk, pop and classical pieces. Free. (3300 Spenard Rd.)

FRI DEC 2 WINTER WONDERLAND & CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING Winter Wonderland is a gala event that surrounds the community tree lighting. Many businesses and nonprofit organizations brave the cold and (maybe) snow and setup festive tables with free giveaways including everything from hot chocolate, hot cider and glove warmers to cookies, coffee and other sweet treats. Free horse-drawn sleigh rides are available throughout the evening courtesy of Matanuska Telephone Association. Along with all the free giveaways, the Chugiak-Eagle River Senior Center provides bowls of hot chili, soup and cornbread. Eagle River Area Rotary conducts a canned food drive and accepts cash donations. Sleeping Lady Lions hosts their “Tree of Giving” gift table for families in need. Free. (Business Blvd., Eagle River)

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Eagle River Town Square Park, 5:30 to 8 p.m.

FRI DEC 2 OPENING NIGHT FILM AND GALA: SUGAR MOUNTAIN This year, to open the Anchorage International Film Festival’s 10 days of films and fun, they’re bringing to Anchorage the premiere of the longawaited, Sugar Mountain. For a full list of films and events visit anchorageinternationalfilmfestival.org or the Anchorage Press AIFF guide on page XX. Tickets available at beartooththeatrepub.com. $25. (1230 W. 27th Ave.)

December 1 - December 7, 2016

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Bear Tooth Theatrepub, 7 to 11 p.m.

23


Every Tuesday January 22 •6:30pm 6:30-8:30

DEC 6 A WATCH AND A HANDSHAKE DEC 13 JD COX & THE HARMONICA GUY DEC 20 THE XTRATUF COWBOYS DEC 27 DANGER & DIVA JAN 3 BRIDGETTE BERRY

XNLV303570

THIS WEEKEND

11700 Old Seward Highway • Between Klatt & Huffman •349-3799

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First FIRKIN Friday DEC 02 ! 5 - 8 PM

BREWERY ! LOFT ! GEAR SHOP

OPEN DAILY

11 AM - 8 PM

aRTist: Nessa Nouveau

FIRST TAP DECEMBER FEAT. WATSKY X INFINITY TOUR Thur. Dec. 1, 8 p.m./ Bear Tooth Theatrepub/ $35 - $55/ beartooththeatre.tunestub.com. George Watsky is a rapper, writer and performer from San Francisco now living in Los Angeles. A versatile lyricist who switches between silly and serious, technically complex and simply heartfelt, Watsky won the Brave New Voices National Poetry Slam in 2006. Immediately after, he appeared on the final season of “Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry” in 2007 while a college freshman and subsequently performed at over 150 universities across the country. ANCHORAGE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL Fri. Dec. 2 through Sun. Dec. 11/ anchoragefilmfestival.org for more information. The Anchorage International Film Festival is a non-profit organization founded in 2001 and committed to independent filmmaking. See the AIFF guide on Page 30. HEALTH Fri. Dec. 2, 8 p.m./ Williwaw/ $26 - $56/ tixr.com. It’s been over half a decade since HEALTH released a studio album, and Death Magic is a bold—albeit occasionally jarring—step forward. The band finally embraces the pop impulses that seem to have always been lurking in their DNA.

…plus other aRTists

FirKiN:

Cliff Hanger

Belgian Dark Strong Ale

presenting gift options for the holiday season

cask-conditioned with dried cranberries

modern industrial vibe. crazy cool beer. fresh fabulous food.

midnightsunbrewing.com

DEC 01.2016

Anchorage Press

5”W x 7.75”H

360 ALLSTARS Sat. Dec. 3, 7:30 p.m./ Atwood Concert Hall/ $26.75 - $35.25/ centertix.net for tickets. 360 Allstars is a phenomenal theatrical performance exploring all forms of rotation. A stellar cast of world class breakdancers, basketball freestylers, BMX flatlanders and cyr wheel artists connect the street with the elite and reinvent the traditional circus in a show like nothing you have seen before. PINKALICIOUS THE MUSICAL Through Tue. Dec. 20/ Cyrano’s Off Center Playhouse/ $28 - $30/ centertix.net for tickets and showtime info. See how she gets out of her pink predicament and pink indulgence of eating pink cupcakes, ending up with pinkatitis,

CIRQUE MUSICA HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR Tue. Dec. 6/ Alaska Airlines Center/ $40 - $96/ For tickets or more information go to alaskaairlinescenter.com Cirque Musica Holiday Spectacular is a fun-filled family holiday event featuring the cast of Cirque Musica together with all-time favorite holiday songs performed by a live orchestra. It’s a concert and visual experience where audiences journey into a world of high-flying adventure with amazing acrobats, aerialists, hilarious hijinks and holiday cheer, too! The show blends the spell-binding grace and dare-devil athleticism of today’s greatest circus performers with the sensory majesty of the greatest holiday music of all time. THE REVELERS Fri. Dec. 9, 7:30 p.m./ TapRoot/ $25/ taprootalaska.com for tickets. The Revelers, founding members of the Red Stick Ramblers and The Pine Leaf Boys … “unquestionably the two groups at the vanguard of the Louisiana cultural renaissance” have joined together to form a Louisiana Supergroup which combines swamp-pop, Cajun, country, blues and zydeco into a powerful tonic of roots music that could only come from Southwest Louisiana. ANCHORAGE SYMPHONY: VIRTUOSITY Sat. Jan. 28, 8 p.m./ Atwood Concert Hall/ $27 - $52/ centertix.net for tickets. A night of the unexpected with three sensational works, including superstar Black Swan violinist, Tim Fain, playing Brahms’ iconic “Concerto for Violin”—an Anchorage Symphony Orchestra premiere. Now regarded as a masterpiece of the 20th century, “Rite of Spring” so incensed concert-goers at its premiere that rioting broke out in the aisles of the concert hall over this jarring ballet. BREAKING GROUND Sat. Jan. 28, 7:30 p.m./ Alaska Dance Theatre/ $15/ momentumdance.org for tickets. The 7th annual Breaking Ground event features new

work by Alaskan choreographers. A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM Sat. Feb. 25 & Sun. Feb. 26/ Sydney Laurence Theatre/ $26 - $38/ tickets and showtimes available at centertix.net. Journey with Alaska Dance Theatre into the mystical forest as fairies and nymphs enchant you and quarrelsome lovers entertain you with Shakespeare’s classical story of A Midsummer Night’s Dream brought to life through ballet. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Tue. Apr. 25 through Sun. Apr. 30/ Atwood Concert Hall/ $49.25 - $91.75/ tickets and showtimes available at centertix.net. Disney’s Beauty and the Beast is the classic story of Belle, a beautiful young woman in a provincial town, and her unlikely encounter with the Beast, who is in reality a young prince trapped in a spell. As their story unfolds, we’re introduced to an unforgettable cast of characters—Lumière, Mrs. Potts, Cogsworth and other familiar favorites. With songs by legendary composer Alan Menken (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas), Disney’s Beauty and the Beast is an international sensation that has played to over 35 million people worldwide. 36 CRAZYFISTS BENEFIT SHOW FOR SARAH P. Sat. Dec. 17/ Koot’s/ $25 in advance, $30 at the door/tickets available at brownpapertickets. com Come rock out at Koot’s and help support Sarah P’s cancer fund. 36 Crazyfists will be playing with Shifter, Flyin Lion, Transitions and Shy Bones. RAZZLE DAZZLE NEW YEAR'S BALL WITH SLOW MAGIC Sat. Dec. 31, 8 p.m/ Anchorage Museum/ $55 -$150/ anchoragemuseum.org for tickets and information. Ring in the new year and hit the dance floor with Slow Magic at the Anchorage Museum’s Razzle Dazzle Ball. Wear black and white and see how they’ve transformed the atrium into what promises to be the coolest backdrop for ringing in the New Year. The event is 21 and up and will have a full bar and champagne toast.

1/4 page COLOR

SHOP Artisan Cheese, cured meats and more

First Friday, December 2, 5 pm to 8 pm

LEARN Fromagio’s Cheese Classes Call for info

EVOLUTION: ONE; Kristin DeSmith’s show of new ceramic tiles and plates.

EAT Cheese Bar Lunch menu Tuesday-Sunday

Creative delectables by Fromagio’s Artisan Cheese

www.fromagioscheese.com 907.277.3773 Tues-Sat 11-6 • Sun Noon-5 • Closed Mon

24

which turns her pink from head to toe. Of course, there will be pink cupcakes, but warning: It’s best not to eat too many.

Fran Chauvin, known for her colorful potholders, trunk show on December 3-4.

Practice the ART of giving this year!

Bluesy grunge folk music by Eli Whitney and Jeannie McLeod

Juliana Osinchuk, expressive beaded jewelry trunk show on December 2-4.

3555 Arctic Blvd, Spaces C-4 & C-5

Photographer Eberhard Brunner, signing his new book, Natural Reflections: Africa and Alaska, Sunday, December 4, noon to 4 pm.

from notable artists, potters, jewelers, sculptors from 907.563.2787 LIKE US ON across Alaska, as well as exquisite ivory, baskets, dolls and artwork released from December 1 - December 7, 2016 Practice the ART beloved collections.

of giving this year!


BY KYLE CLAYTON

M

Y NAME IS URUK and I am a barbarian. I wield two swords and crush my enemy’s armor with a single blow. My comrades; an eclectic mix of monks, assassins, archers, scouts and druids take the field beside me as we gaze upon our enemies who defend the beach and the object of our assault, a simple banner. My mentor, Thanatos Grym, stands beside me. “Remember to square up,” Thanatos Grym says. “Keep both swords up to guard and attack.” The horde before us marches closer as we slosh up the beach, water-logged and less mobile for the time being. I’d be lying if I told you fear—the mind killer—doesn’t bog me down as well. The chaos before me will be my first taste of battle. Best not to imagine all the ways to be killed, but almost impossible not to. Axes, arrows, pikes, swords and maces drool as they wait to sink their cold, metal teeth into my flesh. But a warrior must prepare for their inevitable death. Conan, Leif Erickson, Attila the Hun, Genghis Kahn and Alaric the Vandal all fought before me. How many will fight after? I must charge into the elusiveness of the present and into the glory of history with my swords raised and my heart light. I am going to die. Again. And again. And again. “Hey dude, let’s go, it’s starting,” a guy wearing a tunic and gripping a grey foam sword and shield says. It’s hard to hear him over the sound of a marching band playing AC/DC’s TNT during a pause in the high school football game in Anchorage’s indoor sports complex The Dome.

chanted things like that at me than I did hacking limbs off. Swinging a sword and landing a blow isn’t as easy as you might suspect, either. Many of these Amtgardrs train weekly and while I got a few hits in, I took a lot more. At one point in the mayhem I snuck behind a purple-haired F YOU DON’T COUNT sword fighting my brother and neighborhood kids with sticks in the woods when I was a girl who looked to be in her late teens and with my sword gave kid, this beach assault was my first experience playing in a her what I considered a reasonable surprise tap on her lower battle game. I’d always been interested in checking something back. “You call that a hit?” she asked as she glared at me in disbelief. like this out and decided to attend the event one evening after “I guess,” I said. my girlfriend told me her sociology class had discussed Live AcIn half-a-second she crouched, put her shield up and pounced, tion Role Playing (LARP) and whether or not it was a socially tearing me to shreds and sending me quickly to the re-spawn deviant behavior. The arena where I participated couldn’t have been better point where you must count to 30 before rejoining the fray. About halfway through the games a fair portion of the large suited for observing what is—and is not—a social norm. Next to where we fought—a much smaller field behind the yellow crowd assembled to watch the football game turned their heads goal post—22 helmeted and padded high school football play- and bodies in our direction, some faces with blank expressions, ers crashed into each other before a cheering crowd. On our others with amused interest. We played three different games with different objectives mock battlefield, roughly the same number of Anchorage’s Amtgard members clad in tunics, chain mail and leather armor ran in the two hours the group had rented the space. To be honaround beating the hell out of each other with foam swords and est, I thought more about how to cut down the annoying wizard who kept casting spells on me other medieval weaponry. rather than how to capture the flag On the surface these football players and mock Middle Age warriors I spent more time asking or kill the leader of the other team, that mentality was one striking appear literally worlds and centuries “What does that mean” and difference I noticed between the apart, but the contests are—in essence—the same. Both the football as players chanted things Saturday afternoon Amtgard battle and the football game. and battle game contain a rigid rule With a room full of role players structure that takes a fair amount like that at me than I did all assuming the role of the hero— of time to learn. Various positions hacking limbs off. or the villain—who was left to be on the football team—such as linethe cannon fodder? I sensed a lack men, the quarterback and wide receivers—all train according to the needs of their position and of cohesive strategy or tactics when it came to making a plan to perform different functions on the field in the same way a bar- attack the other side, like in a game of chess when all your pieces barian and a monk utilize special abilities to fight members of are uncoordinated. One of my own teammates killed me at one point in the first round. the opposing army. This is not to say an element of organization is missing; AmImagine walking into a sports bar and hearing football fans tgard is far from just weekend sport. The majority of the players discussing the game. “Well if you’re going to play a 3-4 or a 4-3 with four secondary dedicate a large chunk of their lives to the group. Almost all of players you gotta have a substitution package,” says the imag- them sew their own tunics, build leather armor and some even craft their own chain mail. They compete in “tournaments” ined couch quarterback. In Amtgard it sounds equally meaningless unless you know throughout the year where those crafts along with homebrew and woodworking pieces are entered into contests. None of the game. “All weapons wielded in melee are armor breaking,” Thana- this is necessary to be a part of the group, but this dedication is tos—or Joel Borer—explained to me as he described the ben- where Saturday afternoon fun ends and a lifestyle begins. Anchorage Amtgard members Joel (Thanatos) and Barb efits of playing the barbarian character class. “If armor is three (Amtgard name withheld) Borer met at a medieval event in points or less you take it out in one shot.” Every piece of armor from leather and shin arm guards to Washington. They knew each other for three days before Joel metal breastplates and chain mail have different armor points convinced Barb to move to Anchorage where they later married which weaken after taking hits from a weapon. Each player has in between an Amtgard battle game. In between ordering chicken strips for their kids at Denny’s to keep track of how many points they have based on where they’ve been hit. Reeves (referees) on the field plan and admin- for an Amtgards awards ceremony known as Midreign, Barb told me she’s been into fantasy and the medieval world since she ister the contest and make sure everyone is playing fair. Certain classes can also cast spells that turn you “insubstan- read The Hobbit in grade school. She helps many of the memtial” or freeze you among other various dark arts. They can then bers tailor their garb. “If you want to make Amtgard sports only you can do that unfreeze you at will just before they stab you in the chest and but there’s multiple aspects that you can get into,” Barb said. “I kill, which happened to me several times. “Flesh rots, bones break, skulls sigh, spirits take; let the power spent the majority of one year doing sword covers and making of my will descend on thee …” an annoying anti-paladin might costuming for other people and helping people learn to make tunics.” yell at you as you wonder what is happening. Jason Chapman—Gorin in the Amtgard world—is a lifer. I spent more time asking “What does that mean?” as players

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December 1 - December 7, 2016

He’s the principality’s Champion—or chief safety officer—a position he never thought he’d hold 16 years ago when he started participating in LARP. “The first time I came out to Amtgard me and my roommate came out to make fun of the LARP geeks,” Chapman said. “We literally drove to the park to make fun of the LARP geeks.” And that is—as stereotypical as it might sound—a big difference between the warriors in Amtgard and the high school football players. They seem a different species of athlete. Chapman, a professional manager for the state who manages a swath of DMVs across Alaska said he loves the organizational aspect of the group. He said the main demographic for Amtgard generally falls into the “socially awkward dork category.” Many of them, he said, tend to be anxious around other people and have a difficult time opening up until they get involved in the Amtgard organization. “They get comfortable, the open up, they start volunteering for leadership positions and the next thing they know they’re on a corporate board and they’re studying corporate tax law and making decision using Robert’s Rules of Order,” Chapman said. “They’re developing these incredible, professional life skills in their foam fighting club, which is really cool.” Amtgard truly is an organization. There are 18 kingdoms comprising various states across the US, which are subdivided into principalities. Alaska’s Amtgard organization last September passed a six-month operating budget for $40,000, which pays for the assortment of events they hold throughout the year and subsidizes event costs for the roughly 250 members across the state. Amtgard is a non-profit and they recently applied for 501(c)3 status. All of their current funding comes from membership fees, a meager $20 a year along with other fund-raising activities such as selling foam swords and charging the civilians to sword fight their buddies at fairs. They eventually want to buy land and build their own complex where they can hold events. It’s this level of cooperation and organization that convinces me there is nothing more human about the individuals that comprise this group. In Yuval Noah Harari’s best selling Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, he writes about the idea that it’s humans’ ability to create and believe in “fictions,” which have allowed us to thrive as a species. “ … Fiction has enabled us not merely to imagine things, but to do so collectively,” Harari writes. “We can weave common myths such as the biblical creation story, the Dreamtime myths of Aboriginal Australians, and the nationalist myths of modern states. Such myths give Sapiens the unprecedented ability to cooperate flexibly in large numbers.” In the case of Amtgard, what’s more human and social than creating a living, breathing world and finding a sense of identity and community within it? And whether your leather is sewn into a ball or wrapped around your forearms, what’s more Sapiens like than beating the hell out of one another every so often? What was objectively real about my Saturday afternoon sword fighting was how every muscle fiber in my body ached for three days after and my desire to go do it again soon. I have a blood feud with Gorin who sucker axed me when my back was turned. That’s right Gorin. I’m Uruk the Barbarian. I wield two swords and crush my enemy’s armor with a single blow. I am coming for you. n

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DJ MARK, 10 p.m. (Gaslight Lounge, 721 W. 4th Ave.)

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1 ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE BUILD WITH BLOCKS—All future builders come play and build at the library. They will have a variety of blocks for all developmental stages of block play, from soft baby blocks to Duplo and LEGO blocks. Block play supports skills for future achievement in science and math. Ages 5 & under with their families Free, 11 a.m. (Anchorage Public Library, 3600 Denali St.) SPENARD TAKE–IN—A unique opportunity to enjoy Anchorage’s food trucks during winter by ordering outside from the trucks listed and eating inside at a dedicated dining area of Koot’s. Free, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.) LUNCH HOUR YOGA—A 55-minute yoga practice; a perfect choice for your busy day. Step onto the mat, let go and reconnect. Focusing on hips, core and shoulders. Drop in price is $14 or brand new members can purchase an eight-class pass for $49, expires one month after purchase. 12:15 to 1:10 p.m. (Namaste North Yoga Studio, 508 W. 2nd Ave.) SCIENCE ACTION CLUB (SAC)—Bugs in Your Backyard is 12 sessions of handson science learning and citizen science projects. SAC seeks to inspire and educate the next generation of critical thinkers, active citizens and environmental stewards. Grades 5 - 8. Free, 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. (Muldoon Library, 1251 Muldoon Rd., #158) CUTTING SMART: A FORUM BETWEEN ALASKAN LEGISLATORS AND STUDENTS—Join USUAA, Masters of Public Administration students and the Center for Community Engagement and Learning for a budget cuts forum. Free, 4 to 6 p.m. (UAA/APU Consortium Library, room LIB307, 3211 Providence Dr.) MIDNIGHT SUN BREWING COMPANY BREWERY TOUR—Get an insider’s look at how MSBC brews its bold craft beer. And yes, you can have some drinks as well. Must be 21+ or accompanied by parent/guardian. Free, 6 p.m. (Midnight Sun Brewing Company, 8111 Dimond Hook Dr.) WORLD AIDS DAY VIGIL & FREE MOVIE—Join the Alaskan AIDS Assistance Association and UAA in presenting a vigil, reception and free movie. More information at alaskanaids.org Free, 6 - 9:30 p.m. (UAA Wendy Williamson Auditorium, 2533 Providence Dr.) THE POUR—Celebrate the flavors of the season with this annual fundraiser benefitting

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Bean’s Cafe and The Children’s Lunchbox. Enjoy fine wine, craft beers and pairings with a gourmet menu from Chef Patrick Hoogerhyde of The Bridge Seafood restaurant and catering. Tickets at tinyurl.com. $75 - $85, 6 to 9 p.m. (Alaska Native Heritage Center, 8800 Heritage Center Dr.) DUNGEONS & DRAGONS THURSDAY—Join Bosco’s for their weekly D&D campaign. Play out one epic encounter at a time. Each session only takes 1 - 2 hours to play, so it’s easy to fit your game in after school or work. And each week there’s a new and exciting challenge. Jump in anytime. As you defeat enemies, solve puzzles, finish quests and perform heroic deeds you’ll earn renown points that you can use to get exclusive rewards. All you need is dice. Free, 6 p.m. (Bosco’s, 2301 Spenard Rd.)

TAI CHI BASICS—Regardless of your skill level, coming back to the basics is like coming home. This class is designed for beginners. You will connect philosophy and breath as you develop balance and control. This class with reduce concerns before starting a regular Tai Chi class. Free, 6 p.m. (Jade Lady Meditation, 508 W. 2nd Ave., Ste. 103) DISTILLERY TOUR—Visit the Anchorage Distillery and see how vodka, gin and moonshine are crafted with local grains and ingredients. Can’t make a Thursday? Private tours available just call 5612100. Free, 6 p.m. (Anchorage Distillery, 6310 A St.) "TRAIL TALES"—The Chugach Park Fund and Alaska Trails are excited to present the first "Trail Tales." In the spirit of Arctic Entries, storytellers will share seven minute stories about their trail experiences, adventures and life in general. Come enjoy this fun event and support great trails in the Chugach and across Alaska. Food and drinks will be available for purchase throughout the evening. The storyteller list includes: Lanie Fleischer, Blaine Smith, Betsi Oliver, Jen Aist, Reth Druir, Rebecca Sherman, Matias Saari and Harlow Robinson. $10, 6:30 p.m. (49th State Brewing Company, 717 W. 3rd Ave.) ALASKA OUTDOORS WEEKLY EVENING HIKE; HILLTOP SKI AREA—The Alaska Outdoors host easy to moderate social hikes, every Monday and Thursday, all year, throughout Anchorage. Monday hike is designed for hiking beginners and families with children, on established wide and mostly

flat trail about 3.5-4.5 miles in 1.5 hours. Thursday hike is designed for moderate hikers. Free, 6:30 p.m. (Hilltop Ski Area, 7015 Abbott Rd.) SUITES AND SLEIGH RIDES: A FREE HOLIDAY CONCERT—The Anchorage Community Concert Band Presents Suites and Sleigh Rides, a holiday concert. Free, 7 p.m. (Discovery Theatre, 621 W. 6th Ave.)

TURNAGAIN COMMUNITY COUNCIL MEETING—Join Turnagain Community Council for their monthly neighborhood meeting. Check out the agenda and other materials at communitycouncils.org and click on “Turnagain.” Free, 7 p.m. (Turnagain Elementary School, 3500 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) SULLIVAN’S STEAKHOUSE CAIN WINE DINNER—Sullivan’s Steakhouse Anchorage will host a Cain Vineyards & Winery dinner featuring an expertly curated, five-course menu paired with aged wines from the Cain vineyards of California’s Spring Mountain District. Reservations can be made by calling the restaurant team directly at 258-2822. $110, 7 p.m. (Sullivan’s Steakhouse, 320 W. 5th Ave., Ste. 100)

MUSIC LIVE MUSIC, 6 to 9:30 p.m. (Pubhouse, 1200 L St.) NUTHER BROTHERS, 6:30 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) KORY QUINN FEAT. MICHAEL HOWARD, 7 p.m. (Blue Fox Cocktail Lounge, 3461 E. Tudor Rd.) CD RELEASE CELEBRATION, 7 p.m. (TapRoot, 3300 Spenard Rd.) LIVE MUSIC, 7 p.m. (Fancy Moose, 4800 Spenard Rd.) IRISH MUSIC, 7:30 p.m. (McGinley’s Pub, 645 G St., Ste. 101) WATSKY, 8 p.m. (Bear Tooth Theatrepub, 1230 W. 27th Ave.) SONGWRITER SHOWCASE, 8 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.) OPEN MIC, 8 p.m. (The Office Lounge, 545 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) STAND-UP COMEDY, 8:30 p.m. (Brown Bag Sandwich Co., 535 W. 3rd Ave.) DJ JAMES, 9:30 p.m. (Humpy’s Great Alaskan Ale House, 610 W. 6th Ave.)

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2 ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE KIDS YOGA—Yoga for little people is an active and fun way to promote the physical, emotional and social development of children. Kids will learn the basics of yoga, through creative poses, storytelling, songs, games, breathing exercises and other fun and energizing activities. Drop-In: $12/ class or 10 classes for $100, 11 a.m. (Open Space Alaska, 630 E. 57th Pl.) HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE— Check out jewelry from Robindira Unsworth. Free gift wrapping and plenty of holiday cheer. Ginger will be on hand for bites and bubbly. Free, 11 a.m. (Blush Boutique, 720 D St., Ste. C) WATER AEROBICS CLASS— Community water aerobics class in a newly-renovated saltwater pool. Great exercise that’s kind to your joints, great teachers and fun atmosphere. $4.50 - $5, noon to 1 p.m. (APU Moseley Sports Center, University Dr.) POWER YOGA—Spend your lunch reconnecting with your body and mind. Lunchtime yoga takes place Wednesdays and Fridays. Make space for your spirit and get to your mat. By donation, noon to 1 p.m. (Open Space, 630 E. 57th Pl.) AMERICA’S DIPLOMATS— Join the Alaska World Affairs Council for a fascinating film screening about American Foreign Service officials. This program will provide an engaging and in-depth look at the development of the U.S. Foreign Service, its role in negotiating American identity abroad, as well as the sacrifices and successes made by American Diplomats throughout history. The film will be followed by a live Q&A with a visiting ambassador. Doors open at 11:30. This event is open to the public, tickets are available for $10 for members and $15 for nonmembers with complimentary admission and pizza buffet for full-time students and active-duty military. For more information and registration, visit alaskaworldaffairs. org. Noon to 1 p.m. (The Bear Tooth Theatrepub, 1230 W. 27th Ave.) THE MANY FACES AND VOICES OF MUSLIMS AT UAA—Muslim students studying a variety of disciplines at UAA come together to discuss their life and convictions. Acting as moderator is Gregory Shoiab Jones, Muslim Chaplain for the Muslim Student Organization at UAA. Everyone is invited to attend. There is free parking at UAA on Fridays. For more information contact Rachel Epstein at 786-4782. Free, 4 p.m. (UAA Campus Bookstore, 2901 Spirit Dr.)

HOLIDAY STUDIO SALE AT REAL ART IS BETTER—Join Scott Clendaniel and Ashley Maury for the annual Holiday Studio Sale at the Real Art Is Better studio. Shop for unique holidays gifts handmade by Anchorage artists. You can even commission a custom oil painting. Refreshments will be provided and the view of Knik Arm is a bonus. Free, 5 to 7:30 p.m., and Sat., Dec. 3, noon to 5 p.m. (Real Art Is Better Studio, 333 W. 4th Ave., Ste. 4) WINTER WONDERLAND & CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING—Winter Wonderland is a gala event that surrounds the community tree lighting. Many business and nonprofit organizations brave the cold and snow and setup festive tables with free giveaways including everything from hot chocolate, hot cider and glove warmers to cookies, coffee and other sweet treats. Free horse drawn sleigh rides are available throughout the evening courtesy of Matanuska Telephone Association. Along with all the free giveaways, the Chugiak-Eagle River Senior Center provides bowls of hot chili, soup and cornbread. Eagle River Area Rotary conducts a canned food drive and accepts cash donations. Sleeping Lady Lions hosts their “Tree of Giving” gift table for families in need. Free, 5:30 to 8 p.m. (Eagle River Town Square Park, Business Blvd., Eagle River) ART FOR ANCHORAGE—Art for Anchorage is designed to help students develop their artistic abilities through workshops with local artists at the Artists Co-Op downtown. However, instead of just creating beautiful works of art, students will also learn business and marketing skills that will help them see economic possibilities in art. Students within the age range of 12 to 21 are encouraged to attend. Free, 6 to 8 p.m. (Anchorage Artists Co-Op, 601 W. 5th Ave.) FRIDAY NIGHT MAGIC— Looking for a way to play Magic while meeting new friends and winning cool foil prize cards? Friday Night Magic is designed to bring casual players together on Friday nights to play for fun in a less-competitive event. Try it out and discover why Friday night is the best night of the week. All are welcome to come and play without joining the tournament. Free, 6:30 to 11 p.m. (Bosco’s, 2606 Spenard Rd.) BUILDING HEALTHY FOOD COMMUNITIES: A SYMPOSIUM ACROSS GENERATIONS—The public is invited to engage in a lively and informative discussion with 4th and 5th graders from the Anchorage School District, UAA students and distinguished speakers who are currently shaping the social, scientific, ethical and policy dimensions of our food system through their own work. Food provided by Fire Island Rustic Bake Shop and Moose’s Tooth Pub and Pizzeria. Free, 6:30 p.m. (UAA/APU Consortium Library, 3211 Providence Dr.) A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS PERFORMANCE—The AFAA Children’s Choral Ensemble is proud to present A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Tickets available at akfinearts. org. $12 - $14, 7 to 9 p.m. (Alaska Fine Arts Academy, 12340 Old Glenn Hwy., Eagle River) MEDITATION CLASSES— Experience a unique style of meditation by choosing the technique that suits you. Whether it be through dance, sound or breath this practice will give you a sense of fulfillment and peace. $10 - $12, 7 to 8:30 p.m. (Gitanjali Meditation Center, 4143 Raspberry Rd.) NORTHERN LIGHTS BENEFIT CONCERT—Headliner Tayy Tarantino, a local hip-hop icon, will be joined by several other local music artists including Je Marcell, Whitney & Miguel and Ella Parks. Tickets at uaatix.com. $5 - $15, 7 to 10 p.m. (Wendy Williamson Auditorium, 3211 Providence Dr.) THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE—Anchorage Community Theatre opens their second show of the 16/17 season with The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, directed by David Block. C.S. Lewis’s beloved novel charms us with the tale of four young children sent to an old farmhouse in the English countryside during the Second World War. They fight their boredom with a trip to a magical kingdom through an old wardrobe where they become kings and queens and the animals talk. Playing through Sunday, Dec.11 Thursday – Saturday at 7 p.m. and Sunday at 3 p.m. $13 - $17. (Anchorage Community Theatre, 1133 E. 70th Ave.) FRIDAY NIGHT DANCE LOUNGE—Join in for a night of dancing, learning, practicing and more for all of you social dancers. The night starts at 8 p.m. with a salsa class or mambo. At 9 p.m. a bachata class will follow. Then social dancing ensues from 9:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. Their DJ will be playing salsa, bachata, kizomba, cha cha, merengue and more. If you have any questions please call the studio at 336-0333. $10, 8 p.m. (Alaska Dance Promotions, 300 E. Dimond Blvd., Ste. 11A) AN EVENING WITH R&B LEGEND JON B—BBAAD Productions and Unbreakable presents an intimate evening with R&B Grammy-nominated R&B Artist, JON B. Tickets available at ledultralounge. com. $25, 7 p.m. (LED Ultra Lounge, 901 W. 6th Ave.)

MUSIC UNDER 21 OPEN MIC NIGHT, 5:30 to 8 p.m. (Middle Way Cafe, 1200 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) PIANO WITH MISHA SHIMEK, 6:30 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) HARPER’S FARCE EP SHOW, 7 p.m. (Williwaw, 609 F St.) DJ TONY H, 9 p.m. (Flattop Pizza + Pool, 600 W. 6th Ave.) ASTRONAUTALIS NATIONWIDE TOUR, 9 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.) CONTINUED ON P. 28

December 1 - December 7, 2016


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Application for New Retail Marijuana Store License Denali Dispensaries, LLC is applying under 3 AAC 306.300 for a new Retail Marijuana Store license, license #11411, doing business as DENALI DISPENSARIES, LLC, located at 225 E 5th Ave, Anchorage, AK, 99501, UNITED STATES. Interested persons should submit written comment or objection to their local government, the applicant, and to the Alcohol & Marijuana Control Office at 550 W 7th Ave, Suite 1600, Anchorage, AK 99501 or to marijuana.licensing@alaska.gov not later than 30 days after this notice of application.

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December 1 - December 7, 2016

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Planet Ottakring shows on Dec. 3 at 3:15 p.m. and Dec. 10 at 7:30 p.m. at the Alaska Experience Theater (333 W. 4th Ave.).

W

HEN DISKO (EMILIO DE MARCHI), the bigboned and light-footed loan shark of the hustling and bustling neighborhood of Ottakring in Vienna dies unexpectedly, he leaves behind a vacuum of power with his debtors at the mercy of the other neighborhood thug and loan shark, Frau Jahn (Susi Stach). Disko leaves a dense and cryptic will in the form of a little black book to Sammy (Michael Steinocher), a small time crook with a nonchalant exterior and a princely heart. As luck would have it, this all unfolds at the same time that Valerie (Cornelia Gröschel), a graduate student in eco-

nomics decides to go to Ottakring to research just this kind of economic system. At first Sammy and Valerie are like olive oil and balsamic vinegar; a good combination if you can keep them well blended. The romantic comedy is pretty entertaining; predictable—as this genre tends to be—but well done in spite of some plot gaps. In addition, director Michael Riebel plays with the concept of complementary currencies, like that currently in use in the U.K. and known as the Bristol Pound. The motley crew of secondary characters add to the economic and comedic resilience of Planet Ottakring.

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N THE 1930S, Sinclaire Lewis wrote It Can’t Happen Here, a satirical novel that imagines a presidential election in the U.S. in which an unqualified, egotistical and tyrannical candidate is able to rile up the masses by making false promises  to return to traditional values, improve the economy, etc. Once the masses blindly elect this rotten orange, he pulls a switcheroo. Instead of restoring the country to patriotic greatness, he sets up a totalitarian state, not unlike that of the Third Reich—but that’s just fiction after all.   NANA  is a compelling documentary about the life of Maryla MichalowskiDyamant—a Polish Jew who not only survived Auschwitz but lived a long life after the camp—dedicated to making new generations aware of the extremes human beings are capable going to under despotic regimes. The documentary was a labor of love from Serena Dykman, Michalowski-Dyamant’s granddaughter and a personal narrative spanning three generations. Most importantly, the film features an abundant amount of direct interviews of Michalowski-Dyamant conducted over decades by multiple peo-

NANA shows on Dec. 4 at 2 p.m. at the Anchorage Museum (625 C St.). ple and media outlets. This content is rich, captivating and speaks volumes to the political situation then and now. Michalowski-Dyamant was more than a survivor, she was one of the few beacons of light remaining after the Holocaust. Her story transcends because she is brilliant and compassionate and can’t help but make connections between suffering, history and hope. In her own words, Michalowski-Dyamant describes to the world how such atrocities unfolded as Jews were demonized, their existence labeled illegal and exterminated. Her truth is beyond powerful, it reaches into—and opens—the hearts of viewers and she gives them courage to think honestly about whatever situation they are living. She reminds viewers that just like these atrocities happened in Germany, they can happen

anywhere if people let them. As the film unfolds, the young director uses cinematic devices in combination with multiple voices—including her mother’s and her own—to relive Michalowski-Dyamant’s experience. As the film's contributors read from Michalowski-Dyamant’s memoir they help fill in gaps. At two hours, the documentary feels about 10 minutes too long, but its message is so important that everyone should see the film. Although the content is heavy, it is laden with moments of hope and joy. Michalowski-Dyamant is funny and her sense of humor runs deep; for this reason alone, viewers should stick around until the end of the credits in order to catch some real gems in the form of outtakes.

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HOLIDAY BLUES WITH T. HARVEY COMBO, 9 p.m. (Flight Deck Lounge, 832 W. Intl. Airport Rd.) UNFAITHFUL LOVERS, 9:30 p.m. (Humpy’s, 610 W. 6th Ave.) DJ MARK, 10 p.m. (Gaslight Lounge, 721 W. 4th Ave.)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3 ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE FREE COMMUNITY TAI CHI—Cultivate internal harmony while increasing strength and balance. Join LaoShih Holly as she guides you through the principles of standing meditation and Yang-style Tai-Chi. No experience or special attire required. Protect the floors, no street shoes please. Free, 9 a.m. (Jade Lady Meditation, 508 W. 2nd Ave., Ste. 103) FLOWER MARKET BIRTHDAY BASH & LULAROE BONANZA—Join the Flower Market for their 5th birthday. There will be over four Lularoe consultants, and for every 10 pieces purchased, one piece will be donated to Abused Women’s Aid in Crisis. Free, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. (Alaska Wholesale Flower Market, 7437 Old Seward Hwy.) ANNUAL LAKE OTIS CRAFT FAIR—Looking for homemade crafts, artwork, crafts for kids, photography, independent consultants, home snacks and much more. $5 Pancake breakfast served from 9 a.m. to noon. Free, 9 a.m. (Lake Otis Elementary, 3331 Lake Otis Pkwy.) DIMOND WINTER WARM-UP BAZAAR—This craft fair has a vast variety of local craftsmen so there is something for everyone. Free, 10 a.m. (Dimond Center Mall, 800 E. Dimond Blvd.) UAA CRAFTS FAIR—The annual UAA Crafts Fair is held in UAA’s Student Union and hosts over 100 crafters selling their handmade Alaskan products. The UAA Crafts Fair is a juried fair and has a strong reputation for presenting high quality, unique items. Handmade crafts, woodwork, glass, jewelry, bath products, fiber art, pottery and more. Free, 10 a.m. (UAA Student Union, 2921 Spirit Way.) WRITERS CRITIQUE GROUP—A critique group for writers of all genres, at all levels of experience who seek betterment through their peers. Meets at Title Wave Books. For more info, call Mary Edmunds at 569-5075. 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. (Title Wave Books, 1360 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) INDOOR FLEA MARKET FOR LOVE INC ANCHORAGE—Shop from a variety of vendors in this monthly event that supports a local non-profit to supports the

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community. Free, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (Crosspoint Community Church, 1920 W. Dimond Blvd.) HANDMADE HOLIDAY BAZAAR—Handmade Alaskan gifts and treasures as well as Santa visits from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Free, 10 a.m. (Holy Spirit Episcopal Church, 17545 North Eagle River Loop Rd., Eagle River) CIRI THIRD ANNUAL CRAFT BAZAAR—The event will host approximately 40 artists, selling a wide range of unique and gorgeous handmade Alaska Native arts and crafts items, such as hand-woven baskets, mukluks, kuspuks, ivory carvings, beadwork, jewelry and more. A silent auction will also be held to benefit Koahnic Broadcast Corporation (KBC). 100 percent of the proceeds from the silent auction will go to KBC. Free, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. (Fireweed Business Center, 725 E. Fireweed Ln.) CHUGIAK LADY MUSTANGS HOLIDAY BAZAAR— Stop by and support local crafters and vendors with your holiday shopping. Free, 10 a.m. (Chugiak High School, 16525 S. Birchwood Loop Rd.) NORTHWAY MALL HOLIDAY BAZAAR—Fur Rendezvous and the Northway Mall invite you to join the festivities this holiday season at the Northway Mall Holiday Bazaar. Browse vendors’ booths for that perfect holiday gift idea, decorate ornaments or enjoy the holiday cheer with youth music performances and, of course, photos with Santa. This event helps support Fur Rondy, Anchorage’s premier winter festival. The bazaar runs 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturdays and noon to 6 p.m. Sundays, through Sun., Dec. 18. Free, 10 a.m. (Northway Mall, 3101 Penland Pkwy.) ALASKA NATIVE HERITAGE CENTER BAZAAR—More than 60 Alaska Native artists traveling from all over the state of Alaska will share their art and culture. You’re sure to find a wide range of art including beadwork, weaved baskets, ornaments, various types of jewelry, carvings, large art pieces and more. ANHC’s Heritage Gifts will also be open to the public. Every year, ANHC staff donate holiday gift bags filled with warm clothing–jackets, sweaters, hats, and gloves, school supplies, a toy, and a treat for students in need. They’ve asked attendees to help them spread the holiday cheer and bring an item to donate. All donations will be collected under the Christmas tree on the stage. Free, 10 a.m. (Alaska Native Heritage Center, 8800 Heritage Center Dr.) FAT BIKE DEMO DAY—The Bicycle Shop and Paramount Cycles present a free fat bike demo day. Come give it a try on Global Fat Bike Day. Free, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. (Westchester Lagoon, 1824 W. 15th Ave.) PICTURES WITH SANTA— This annual fundraiser is to support a local charity and support our community. Mojo’s Hope does amazing work in supporting those furry friends who need a solid advocate. Free, 11 a.m. to 3

p.m. (College Village Animal Clinic, 2036 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) MAKING A STORY: AN ALASKA PUBLIC MEDIA WORKSHOP—Meet John and Hanna, documentarians behind the cameras of AK Public Media’s “Indie: Alaska” series as they take you through the ins and outs of what it takes to make a story come to life. To register visit anchorageinternationalfilmf2016.sched. org. Free, noon to 2 p.m. (49th State Brewing Co., 717 W. 3rd Ave.) SWEDISH HOLIDAYS AT OSCAR ANDERSON HOUSE MUSEUM—Step back in time to experience how Swedish immigrants celebrated the holidays in early Anchorage. The Oscar Anderson House Museum—built for the Anderson family in 1915—will be decorated in traditional style for the holidays. Light refreshments to take home will be available. $5 - $10, noon. (Oscar Anderson House Museum, 420 M St.) GIRDWOOD PTA HOLIDAY BAZAAR—Looking for the perfect gift for your perfect someone? Look no further. There will be dozens of local artists and crafters selling their goods. It’s the perfect place to look for that perfect gift. Free, noon. (Girdwood Elementary, 680 Hightower Rd., Girdwood) SCOUT DAY—Join the Alaska Zoo for Scout Day and help celebrate Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and American Heritage Girls. The zoo is filled with fun activities including archery, animal encounters and a scavenger hunt. Crafts and games will get them having fun while working toward badge and patch materials. $15, noon to 3 p.m. (Alaska Zoo, 4731 O’Malley Rd.) PARACHUTES CHARITY GIFT WRAPPING BOOTH— Parachutes Teen Club and Resource Center’s Gift Wrapping Booth will be open at various times throughout the holiday season to Christmas Eve at The Mall at Sears to wrap your gifts for a donation. All proceeds directly support this nonprofit for youth ages 13 18 that provides them a safe, social space, informal adult mentoring and other support services and referrals. For a complete schedule of hours, visit parachutesalaska.org for more information about their organization. Free, noon. (The Mall at Sears, 600 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) IRISH DANCE LESSONS— Northern Lights Celtic Dance is pleased to be accepting new dancers. Ages 5 and up are welcome. Free, 1 p.m. (Northern Lights Celtic Dance Studio, 1515 E. Tudor Rd., Ste. #12) 2ND ANNUAL HANDMADE HOLIDAY BREWHAHA—Join some of your favorite local makers for some handmade holiday shopping and craft brew siping. This ain’t your mama’s craft show—it’s way better. Free, 1 to 7 p.m. (Resolution Brewing Company, 3024 Mountain View Dr.) GALLERY TALK: TILT—Join Amy Johnson as she discusses her work each week which

includes themes of transition, unfamiliarity, solitude, endurance and living in the North. For more information contact Amy at amyjohnsonstudio@ gmail.com. Free, 2 p.m. (320 W. 6th Ave.) HOLIDAY HIGH TEA—Kick off your holiday season in style with a festive tea time. Sip on teas from Summit Spice and Tea and enjoy some proper treats while you learn about this fine English tradition from their experts. Tickets at brownpapertickets.com. $55, 3 to 5:30 p.m. (South Restaurant + Coffeehouse, 11124 Old Seward Hwy.) 2016 RICE POUNDING FESTIVAL—The festival will include a rice pounding demonstration, mochi sampling, live entertainment, a Japanese holiday bazaar and more. Free, 3 to 6 p.m. (Northwood Elementary, 4801 Northwood Dr.) WARM HEARTS: A SILENT AUCTION—Step in from the cold and take a break from your holiday preparations to support homeless and at-risk youth within the community. Sponsored by the Alaska Youth Advocates, there will be live entertainment, baked goods and an assortment of gift packages and gift cards from around the community. More information at akyouthadvocates.org. Free, 4 to 6 p.m. (TapRoot, 3300 Spenard Rd.) SATURDAY NIGHT DINNER AND DANCE—Enjoy live music, dancing, food, beverages, free dance lessons and good company in a safe, clean and friendly atmosphere every Saturday night. In the spirit of camaraderie and community responsibility, the 35+ Singles Club of Anchorage seeks to bring together adult singles over the age of 35 years, for the enjoyment of dancing, friendship and social interaction. Twitter @35SinglesClub. $15 - $18, 7 p.m. (Carpenter’s Hall, 407 Denali St.) 2ND ANNUAL PROHIBITION PARTY—Mark your calendars for jazz by The Tom Bargelski Trio, costume contests, AD Era Drinks and more. Call or visit the Anchorage Distillery for tickets. Fancy vintage attire strongly recommended. $35 - $40, 7 p.m. to midnight. (Anchorage Distillery, 6310 A St.)

SPEEDSKATING—The Alaska Speedskating Club offers opportunities for people of all ages who have any level of previous skating experience to learn how to speed skate. The first session is free. Skates and protective gear are provided. Bring your own helmet if you have one. Come at 7:45 a.m. to get skates and safety gear. They also meet on Tuesdays from 7 to 8 p.m. $18 - $23, 8:30 a.m. (Subway Sports Center, 11111 O’Malley Centre Dr.) 6TH ANNUAL TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS PUB CRAWL—Collaborative Minds and Family Tree

Presents are hosting the 6th Annual “Twelve Days of Christmas Pub Crawl” to raise money for the “Pump Up The Kids” program run by 94.7 KZND, that benefits foster teens right here in Alaska. Dress up in your ugliest ugly sweater and get stamped at all 12 participating bars to have a chance to win two round trip tickets from Alaska Airlines. For more find either organization on Facebook. Free, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. (Downtown Anchorage) BEAT 2 BEAT—This musical trivia show tests your knowledge of music ranging across all genres. Join your host, Nicole, every Saturday and Sunday beginning at 8 p.m. Think you can name the song and the artist first? Come try Beat 2 Beat for your shot at awesome prizes and to prove your musical expertise. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.)

MUSIC SINGER SONGWRITER SHOWCASE, 7 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) LOFT BLUES JAM, 7:30 p.m. (Anchorage City Limits, 239 W. 4th Ave.) SASPARILLA, 9 p.m. (The Alaskan Office Lounge, 545 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) SNAKES & JAGUARS JUNGLE PARTY, 9 p.m. (Taproot, 3300 Spenard Rd.) LIVE MUSIC, 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. (Flight Deck Bar & Lounge, 842 W. International Airport Rd.) REBEL BLUES, 9:30 p.m. (Humpy’s, 610 W. 6th Ave.) DJ MARK, 10 p.m. (Gaslight Lounge, 721 W. 4th Ave.) SABROSO SATURDAY, 10 p.m. (LED Ultra Lounge, 901 W. 6th Ave.)

to paint their very own silk scarves, creating a beautiful personal accessory, or a gift for the holidays. This weekly event also takes place on Tuesdays at 49th State Brewing Co. To register visit paintascarf. com/pub. $49, 3:30/ 4:30/ 5:30 and 6:30 p.m. (Williwaw, 609 F St.) GEEKS WHO DRINK—Simply, a quiz game played in a pub. It’s an Anglo-Irish tradition, but the goal is the same: to foster friendly competition, and promote social drinking, a noble cause indeed. Free, 6 p.m. (TapRoot, 3300 Spenard Rd.) BYOV—Koot’s Bring Your Own Vinyl provides the turntables and speakers, they just need you to bring your favorites from your collection. Who’s got the best collection? Come show off your vinyl every Sunday at Koot’s. Free, 9 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.)

MUSIC ERIN PESZNECKER, 1 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) OPEN MIC NIGHT HOSTED BY JUSTIN BOOT, 8 p.m. (Van’s Dive Bar, 1027 E. 5th Ave.) OPEN MIC, 8 p.m. (Humpy’s, 610 W. 6th Ave.) KARAOKE, 9 p.m. (Gaslight Lounge, 721 W. 4th Ave.) OPEN MIC, 9 p.m. (Al’s Alaskan Inn, 7830 Old Seward Hwy.) KARAOKE, 9 p.m. (TapRoot, 3300 Spenard Rd.) DOMINGOS DE CLASICADAS WITH DJ ZAYY, 10 p.m. (LED Ultra Lounge, 901 W. 6th Ave.)

UKULELE RUSS, 10 p.m. (Blue Fox, 3461 E. Tudor Rd.)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 5

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4

ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE

ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE MITZVAH MALL—Congregation Beth Sholom is hosting Anchorage’s annual “Mitzvah Mall.” Last year’s event raised more than $10,000 worth of goodwill in three hours. Think about a bizarre bazaar: An alternative gift fair. Instead of buying more material gifts and stuff, shoppers can donate to local non-profits on behalf of friends, family or others on their holiday gift list. Nonprofit organizations receive valuable publicity and monetary donations. “Gifts” are in various price ranges beginning at $5. Shoppers receive decorative gift cards to present to the person in whose honor the gift was purchased. Free, noon. (Congregation Beth Sholom, 7525 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) PAINT A SCARF—Painters can choose from four designs

POKÉMON CLUB—Get the lowdown on where the best Pokémon are in Anchorage. A $5 tournament starts at 4:30. Free, 4 p.m. (Bosco’s, 2301 Spenard Rd.)

SCRABBLE CLUB—Abaxile, bulblet, celotex, to name a few. Join Scrabble enthusiasts every Monday night and widen your vocabulary skills. They’ll provide the games and CONTINUED ON P. 30

December 1 - December 7, 2016


Demimonde shows on Dec. 3 at 8:15 p.m. at Bear Tooth (1230 W. 27th Ave.).

“D

EMIMONDE” is from the French meaning, “half-world.” In the 19th century, this term was used to refer to people who were on the fringes of the upper classes or respectable society. In the film, also titled Demimonde (Félvilág, original Hungarian title), Mágnás Ekza (Patricia Kovács) plays a prominent prostitute who comes close to the edge of the respectable class but is unable to make the leap into respectability, even with money to burn. The film, written by Norbert Köbli and directed by Attila Szász, has the potential to delve into themes of class, aging, desire and power but tends to fall short on most fronts. Elza’s social infrastructure is comprised of her housekeeper, Rózsi (Dorka Gryllus), and a new young maid, Kató (Laura Döbrösi), along with

a handful of admirers and lovers. As the film progresses, it depicts Budapest in the early 1900s—the fashions, streets, social spheres of decadence with religious dogma and misguided piousness nipping at the heels: It’s inviting. The cinematography and sets are quite fetching and the acting is solid on all fronts. Unfortunately, the plot is stale and predictable, even if there are threads of interesting concepts running in parallel such as Elza’s struggle to accept her aging and what this means to her livelihood—or the ideas inspired by conversations about Joan of Arc and then a direct visual connection with Carl Theodor Dreyer’s 1928 The Passion of Joan of Arc in the closing scenes. These two threads are riveting but not fully-explored; the unfortunate path the filmmakers decide to take is antiquated and lesbo-phobic, as though they couldn’t imagine a more thoughtprovoking and complex resolution to the plot.

H

Happy Lucky Golden Tofu Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show shows on Dec. 3 at 1:30 p.m. at the Alaska Experience Theater (333 W. 4th Ave.) and on Dec. 10 at 6 p.m. at 49th State Brewing Company (717 W. 3rd Ave.).

SUN / DEC 4

THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED. 6:00 PM

1230 W. 27th Ave

907-276-4200

For a complete listing of this week’s movies, visit beartooththeatre.net

December 1 - December 7, 2016

Taken from The Arabian Nights, the film tells the story of a wicked sorcerer who tricks Prince Achmed into mounting a magical flying horse and sends the rider off on a flight to his death. But the prince foils the magician’s plan, and soars headlong into a series of wondrous adventures. LIVE MUSIC PERFORMANCE BY AN ORIGINAL SCORE WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY MUSICIAN DUO MILES AND KARINA!

APPY LUCKY Golden Tofu Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show is even better than it sounds! Director Carrie Preston works with performance artist Kate Rigg and composer Lyris Hung to bring to the screen performance, music, video and sketch comedy that tackles the funny, complicated, cultural confusion regarding stereotypes of Asian-Americans and Asians in America. Rigg and Hung are a performance match made in heaven. Their work is on point, sharp and critical of people outside the culture and within it alike and for different reasons. Although they tackle sensitive subjects, their performances are not heavy-handed or unfair. It’s refreshing to see conversations sung, shouted and played out in ways that result in sheer delight. Rigg’s ability to improvise and deliver is noteworthy. The sketch comedy in Golden Tofu Happy Lucky Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show would make SNL jealous. The film is shot on location in New York where the feel and grittiness at the heart of the city shatters biases through the sheer persistence of diversity in a way that only New York can. The performers create a safe—but critical—space for all viewers to learn, grow and pee in their pants a little. Hello Kitty, nail salons, Chinatown bargain shopping, Pokémon and bowl cuts? Bring’em. Golden Tofu Happy Lucky Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show is definitely one of the highlights of the film festival. n

AIFF MONDAY / DEC 5

HEREDITY.

YOUTH IN OREGON.

5:30 PM

8:00 PM

Tati and Pedro live a mundane life until Pedro wakes up psychologically regressed into a child. After his mother sees him in the middle of a crisis, she reveals a secret that sets Tati and Pedro on the trail of his father. Closure with him may be his only hope.

With Christina Applegate, Nicola Peltz and Josh Lucas, YOUTH IN OREGON is a dark comedy about a man who agrees to drive his cantankerous father-in-law cross-country, with the hopes of talking him out of getting euthanized.

$8 or AIFF PASS

$8 or AIFF PASS

$15 or AIFF PASS

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GEEKS WHO DRINK AT THE 49TH STATE BREWING CO—Yes, it’s really at the 49th State Brewing Co. Come get your geek on while having 49th State beer and 49th State food in the theater with quizmaster Warren Weinstein. Tables will be set up to accommodate a plethora of teams. Doors open at 6, quiz at 7 p.m. Free, 7 to 9:30 p.m. (49th State Brewing Co., 717 W. 3rd Ave.) BACHATA DANCE LESSONS—Bachata is a dance from the Dominican Republic in the Caribbean islands. Both the music and the dance have been influenced by Cuban bolero, merengue, salsa and cumbia styles. Join ADP on Mondays to learn what these beautiful and intimate dances are all about. Drop-in classes are only $12; all levels welcome. 8 p.m. (Alaska Dance Promotions, 300 E. Dimond Blvd., Ste. 11A)

MUSIC MOTOWN MONDAYS, 5 p.m. (Fat Ptarmigan, 441 W. 5th Ave.) BOB PARSON & KENNY BLACKWELL, 6 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) FIRESIDE LIVE FEAT. NOTHIN’ BUT TROUBLE, 9 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.) KARAOKE, 9 p.m. (Gaslight Lounge, 721 W. 4th Ave.)

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6 ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE YU-GI-OH TOURNAMENT AND OPEN PLAY—Born from the game Duel Monsters within the original Japanese manga, the Yu-Gi-Oh card game is a battle-based

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BONNY SOSA TUESDAY NIGHT RACE SERIES—Join in this family tradition of running and learning our beloved trail system. Three separate race courses are set each week in different park locations. Whether you are a competitive runner or just want to get out and see a new trail, this event is for you. Races begin promptly at 6:30 p.m. Distances range from 3K to 10K. Register online at muni.org/Active. $2 - $70, 5:30 p.m. (Kincaid Outdoor Center, 1600 Lidia Selkregg Ln.)

KIDS YOGA (AGES 3 - 6 YEARS)—Why Yoga for little people? Yoga is noncompetitive physical activity which encourages flexibility, strength, coordination and body awareness. In a world full of hustle and bustle, yoga teaches kids how to relax and relieve stress. Yoga helps to bring out kids’ inner self and utilize their unique qualities in a positive way. $75 - $125, 10 a.m. (Open Space Alaska, 630 E. 57th Pl., #2)

SKINNY RAVEN PUB RUN—Join the weekly joggers scurrying around downtown. The runs are approximately 5K in distance which starts at Skinny Raven and finishes at McGinley’s Pub. Product demos and fun prizes every week. Free, 6 p.m. (Skinny Raven, 800 H St.) THE SIP & SHOP—Get your holiday shopping done in the beautifully remodeled Heritage Theatre while enjoying drinks and some retail therapy. Free, 6 to 10 p.m. (49th State Brewing Co., 717 W. 3rd Ave.)

CHRISTMAS IN SPENARD— Just when you thought your Holiday Season would be safe, Christmas In Spenard is back. The side-splitting spectacular is moving downtown to the Hard Rock Cafe. Why are they doing this? The Legislature is moving their offices from Downtown to Spenard, so they’re moving out of Spenard because the neighborhood has gotten too sleazy even for them. Christmas In Spenard is a hilarious two-hour extravaganza of satirical Alaskan musical comedy, a live band, stunning singers and dancers, a spectacular high definition multimedia presentation and approximately three minutes of sentimental holiday fluff. It’s your last chance for unrestrained laughter until the legislature convenes in January. $19 - $23, 7 p.m. (Hard Rock Cafe, 415 E. St.)

MUSIC JOE CRAIG AND FRIENDS, 6 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) AFTER WORK ACOUSTIC SHOW, 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. (Pioneer Bar, 739 W. 4th Ave.) FIRESIDE LIVE, 9 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.)

ARTS, OUTDOORS, ENTERTAINMENT, CULTURE

WATER AEROBICS CLASS— Community water aerobics class in a newly renovated saltwater pool. Great exercise that’s kind to your joints with great teachers and a fun atmosphere. $4.50 - $5, noon to 1 p.m. (APU Moseley Sports Center, University Dr.) LUNCHTIME MEDITATION— Find inner peace amongst a stressful workday. Join Rev. Rachel for a midday quiet meditation in a peaceful and welcoming environment. All experience levels welcome. Free, noon to 12:30 p.m. (Unity of Anchorage, 1300 E. 68th Ave.) YOUTH FILM SCREENING AT BEAR TOOTH: AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL—As part of the Anchorage International Film Festival Festival, Bear Tooth Theatrepub and Alaska Teen Media Institute will host the “After School Special,” directed and produced by Alaska youth. Tickets at beartooththeatre.net. $4, 3:15 p.m. (Bear Tooth Theatrepub, 1230 W. 27th Ave.) ART CLASSES FOR KIDS 6 - 18—Come learn to draw, paint and sculpt. Art Kids Studio classes are ongoing and designed to evolve and build progressive art skills in creative self expression. Art Kids are encouraged to experiment and investigate new creative ideas and a variety of media and techniques. Visit artkidsstudio.com for more information and call 6467938 to register. $125 - $175, 4:15 to 6:15 p.m. (Art Kids Studio, Fireweed & A St.) BEER MEETS RECORDS: VINYL NIGHT—Bring your records or play some onsite while enjoying a brewski. Vinyl nights every Wednesday at Resolution Brewing Company. Free, 5 p.m. (Resolution Brewing Company, 3024 Mountain View Dr.) TRIVIA NIGHT AT THE WHALE’S TAIL BISTRO & WINE BAR—Show how smart you areand head down to the Whale’s Tail Bistro & Wine Bar every Wednesday night at 7 p.m. for Trivia Night. Enjoy a selection of 32 wines on tap, local draft beers, artisanal cocktails and classic bistro fare. Most importantly, a chance to prove you are the smartest person in the room. Prizes include cash and Hotel Captain Cook gift cards. Plus, keep an eye

out for free giveaways. Free, 7 p.m. (Hotel Captain Cook, 939 W. 5th Ave.) MEDIEVAL SWORD AND BUCKLER CLASS—Fiddlebow Fechtschule offers a weekly class on the use of the medieval sword and buckler. Each class incorporates the development of fundamental skills, technique exchange and conditioning in a relaxed but mindful atmosphere. No prior martial arts or fencing experience is necessary. Email chris@fiddlebowfechtschule.com to make arrangements to watch or participate. Drop-ins will be flayed. Free, 7 to 9:30 p.m. (Anchorage Dome, 6501 Changepoint Dr.)

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MUSIC DIANE HALL AND SANDRA CALVILLO, 6:30 p.m. (Organic Oasis, 2610 Spenard Rd.) SNOW PRO, 8 p.m. (Humpy’s, 610 W. 6th Ave.) LIVE MUSIC, 10 p.m. (Pioneer Bar, 739 W. 4th Ave.) OPEN DECKS, 10 p.m. (Koot’s, 2435 Spenard Rd.)

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS FAIR SEEKS CANDIDATES FOR THREE OPEN BOARD SEATS—Application deadline is December 15 at 4:30 p.m. Application pacts available at alaskastatefair. org or at the Fair Main Office located at 2075 Glenn Highway, Palmer. CALL FOR PROPOSALS—Artists are invited to submit proposals for Solo or Collaborative Exhibits at the APU ConocoPhillips & Leah J. Peterson Galleries for the Fall 2017-Spring 2018 Exhibit Season. For consideration artists must submit an Exhibit Proposal, 15 Digital Images of Current Work and a Current Resume by January 28, 2017 to Jannah Sexton Atkins, Curator of Exhibits at jatkins@gci.net.

ONGOING EVENTS For a complete list of events visit anchoragepress.com YOGA ON DONATION— Open Space offers weekly yoga, dance and other drop-in classes. Come join a vibrant community and pay what you can. All levels are welcome. Classes include: Monday, Wednesday and Friday lunch hour classes, Ashtanga, Hips and Core Explore, Prenatal, Baby & You, 50 and Fit and much more. Find a full schedule and special events online: openspacealaska.com/calendar. (630 E. 57th Pl.)

EUROPEAN FACIALS BODY WRAPS • PERMANENT HAIR REMOVAL ELECTROLYSIS • TEETH WHITENING

Call or Buy Online (907) 279-7190

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MEDITATION—In this busy, chaotic world, it is very important for our day-to-day happiness and peace that we learn how to control our mind. This is a class designed to show how to apply simple meditation techniques and basic Buddhist psychology in the midst of a normal, modern lifestyle. $5 - $10, 7 to 8:30 p.m. (Namaste North Yoga Studio, 508 W. 2nd Ave.)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 7

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Hours: Tues-Sat 11am-7pm • Closed Sun & Mon

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ALASKA OUTDOORS WEEKLY EVENING HIKE: AIRPORT PARK—Alaska Outdoors hosts easy to moderate social hikes every Monday and Thursday, all year, throughout Anchorage. Monday’s hike is designed for hiking beginners and families with children on established wide and mostly flat trail about 3.5 - 4.5 miles in 1.5 hours. Thursday hikes are designed for moderate hikers. Free, 6:30 p.m. (Airport Park, Northern Light Blvd.)

gameplay where players duel each other using monster face cards. Come and try it out for free, or if you’re a more serious dueler, bring your decks along. Occasional sealed deck tournaments may come with a higher charge. Free for casual play, $6 - $7 for tournament play, 3 p.m. (Bosco’s, 2301 Spenard Rd.)

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you bring the fun. All ages welcome. Free, 6 p.m. (Title Wave Books, 1360 W. Northern Lights Blvd.)

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CONTINUED FROM P. 28

December 1 - December 7, 2016


December 1 - December 7, 2016

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OPENING NIGHT SCREENING AND GALA SUGAR MOUNTAIN Two brothers, down on their luck, fake a disappearance in the Alaskan wilderness so they’ll have a great survival story to sell, but the hoax turns out to be more real than they planned. Cast present for premiere screening! Champagne, desserts, and music to follow Q & A. Music by Alaskan Band, Blackwater Railroad Company FRIDAY, DEC 2 // 7 PM // BEARTOOTH THEATREPUB $25 OR INCLUDED IN ALL-FILMS PASS

SCREENING AND EVENT VENUES AKL Alaska Experience Theatre - Large

MUS Anchorage Museum

AKS Alaska Experience Theatre - Small

BT

Bear Tooth

Shorts

1:30

Happy Lucky Golden Tofu Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Doc Fun Show

12:00 Heaven’s Floor*

Feature

2:00

Drokpa

Doc

4:00

The Slippers

Doc Event

2:00

Made in Alaska Shorts 2*

Made in AK

4:00

SHORT DOCS 1

Doc

1:00

Screenwriter’s Forum

Event

6:00

SHU-DE!*

Doc

8:15

Demimonde

Feature

Late Night Shorts

Shorts

MUS

12:00 Animation 1

Animation

2:00

NANA*

Doc

4:00

Age of Consequences

Doc

AKS AKL 49 BT

Feature

1:30

Walk With Me: The Trials of Damon J. Keith*

Doc

3:45

SHORTS: Global Village*

Shorts

11:30

Made in Alaska Shorts 3

Made in AK

1:15

The Other Kids*

Doc

3:45

The Holly Kane Experiment

Feature

12:00 SHORT DOCS 2

Doc

2:00

Music in Film Panel

Event

4:00

Bear With Us

Feature

6:00

The Adventures of Prince Achmed*

Feature

8:15

First Girl I Loved*

Feature

5:30

Heredity

Feature

8:00

Youth in Oregon

Feature

3:15

After-School Special

Youth Films

5:30

SHORTS: Love & Pain *

Shorts

Aviator Hotel

8:00

Goodbye Darling I’m Off To Fight

Doc

5:30

Cinema Travelers

Doc

8:00

Donald Cried

Feature

10:30 Quick Freeze!

Filmmaking Competition

5:30

SHORTS: Hard Knocks

Shorts

8:00

We’ve Forgotten More Than We Ever Knew ( + Monsters)

Feature

5:30

Murderous Tales

Animated Feature

7:45

The Holly Kane Experiment

Feature

AKL

El Chivo

Doc

2:15

Short Docs 1*

Doc

4:15

Jackson

Doc

6:00

No Light And No Land Anywhere Feature

7:45

Hunky Dory*

Feature

12:00 Drokpa

FRIDAY 12/9

AKL

Making A Story - AK Public 12:00 Media Workshop

MONDAY 12/5 BT

Doc

THURSDAY 12/8

AKS

MUS 49 AV BT

Doc

SUNDAY 12/4

32

REAL BOY ( + Arrival)*

AKS

SHORTS: Hard Knocks

* Filmmaker will be in attendance

8:00

12:15

MUS

11:30

The Happys*

Doc

49

Feature

11:45

Best And Most Beautiful Things*

Doc

2:00

Made in Alaska 3

Made in AK

4:00

Animation 1

Animation

5:45

SHORTS: Love & Pain*

Shorts

7:30

Planet Ottakring

Feature

12:00 SHORTS: Global Village

Shorts

2:00

Made in Alaska Shorts 1

Made in AK

4:00

Walk With Me: The Trials of Damon J. Keith*

Doc

2:00

The Happys*

Feature

4:00

Money*

Feature

6:00

Happy Lucky Golden Tofu Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show*

Doc

8:00

Scared Scriptless Improv

Event

10:00 Peelers

Feature

12:00 One Course Discourse

Event

2:00

Shorts/ Short Doc

12:15

Made in Alaska Shorts 2

Made in AK

2:15

Bear With Us

Feature

4:15

We’re Still Together*

Feature

7:30

BEST OF FEST - Jury Award Winner

Winner

Martini Matinee*

4:15

Heaven’s Floor*

Feature

6:15

Money*

Feature

8:15

The 6th Friend

Feature

4:30

We’re Still Together*

Feature

6:30

SHORT DOCS 2

Doc

6:00

Animation 2

Animation

8:00

League of Exotique Dancers

Doc

10:00 VivaVoom Brr-Lesque 6:00

SUNDAY 12/11

AKL

Planet Ottakring

AV

SATURDAY 12/10

12:00 The Slippers AKS

3:15

BT

Doc

BT

Meet the Patels

AKL

1:00

AKS

Made in AK

BT

Made in Alaska Shorts 1

10:30

49th State

5TH 5th Ave Parking Garage

WEDNESDAY 12/7

5TH

AKL AKS

11:30

El Chivo

Williwaw

5:30

Event

SATURDAY 12/3

15:45

W

49

Event

Polar Nights: Films Worth Freezing For

Event

W

Late Night Lounge

Feature Opening Night

BT

BT PH

10:30

Sugar Mountain*

Pub House at Inlet Tower

TUESDAY 12/6

FRIDAY 12/2 7:00

PH

Doc

2:00

Goodby Darling, I’m Off to Fight Doc

4:00

SHU-DE!

Doc

7:30

BEST OF FEST - Jury Award Winner

Winner

5:00

AIFF “Golden Oosikar” Awards

Event

8:00

BEST OF FEST-Audience Choice

Winner

TICKETS & PASSES An All-Films Pass not only allows you access to all films and events, plus priority seating before ticket holder lines, but it says, “I support the Anchorage International Film Festival!” The ability to bring up talented filmmakers and crew is supported by pass sales. All-Films Passes are $120 each. Passes do not guarantee seating. Tickets must be picked up at venue. Each AIFF screening is $8, with the exception of a few special events. Opening Night Gala is included with All-Films Passes or is $25 at the box office. The AIFF Awards Celebration is open to the public and $20 at the door, $10 for passholders. December 1 - December 7, 2016


FEATURE FILM DESCRIPTIONS Bear With Us

Dir: William J Stribling, 95 Min, USA

Bear with Us is a modern farce about a guy who attempts to propose to his girlfriend in the most romantic way possible, but his meticulous plan starts to fall apart when a ravenous bear stumbles upon their charming cabin in the woods. It’s a total comedy of errors that takes a close look at just how far we’ll go to preserve our relationships.

Demimonde

Dir: Attila Szász, 88 min, Hungary

The story of three women – a famous prostitute, her housekeeper and their new maid – living in Budapest of 1910s, whose passionate, bizarre and complex relationship can only lead to one thing: murder.

Donald Cried

Dir: Kristopher Avedisian, 85 min, USA

Coming home has never been less fun.

First Girl I Loved

Dir: Karem Sanga, 91 min, USA

The funny and touching story of Anne Santos, who has decided it’s not worth coming out as a lesbian at her LA public school — until she falls in love with Sasha Basañez, a star athlete even more in the closet than she is.

Heaven’s Floor

Dir: Lori Stoll, 88 min, Canada

Heaven’s Floor, based on a true story, is the journey of a Los Angeles photographer on the brink, who is rescued by her future daughter, while stranded in the icy wilds of the Canadian Arctic.

Heredity

Dir: Carlos G Vergara Montiel, 100 min, Columbia

Tati and Pedro live a mundane life until Pedro wakes up psychologically regressed into a child. Looking for a cure, Tati takes Pedro to his childhood home, where he reconnects with his family--who he doesn’t remember-

-and plays and is as happy as when he was young. After his mother sees him in the middle of a crisis, she reveals a secret that sets Tati and Pedro on the trail of his father. Closure with him may be his only hope.

Sugar Mountain

Hunky Dory

The 6th Friend

A comedy-drama about a drag queen and his kid.

Six college best friends throw their own private graduation party when the stoner of the group orders in something special from her drug dealer, who sticks around and joins their party uninvited. Before the night is over, a horrible vengeance will be wreaked upon him. Five years later, the girls gather once again and endure a night of far more horror and bloodshed that is inflicted upon them this time.

Dir: Michael Curtis Johnson, 88 min, USA

Money

Dir: Martin Rosette, 86 min, USA

Two wealthy businessmen are about to get away with $5 million in ill-gotten money until their plans are revealed by an uninvited house guest.

No Light and No Land Anywhere Dir: Amber Sealey, 75 min, USA

With Lexi’s career and emotional state in shambles, her marriage faltering, she abruptly abandons London life and travels to LA to find her estranged father. Armed with only a retirement home address, she checks into a seedy hotel and embarks on a Sisyphean search for missing pieces of her past. Discovering siblings she didn’t know she had, being thwarted at almost every turn, finding her father ends up being an unexpected letting go of herself.

Dir: Richard Gray, 106 min USA

With help from his girlfriend and brother, a young man fakes his disappearance in the Alaskan wilderness to trick the sadistic thug who’s after him. Dir: Letia Clouston, 85 min (*HORROR) USA

The Happys

Dir: Tom Gould, John Serpe, 87 min, USA

A small town strip club owner must defend her bar, her strippers and her life when violent infected patrons show up on the final closing night.

Twenty-one year old Tracy walks in on her newly minted ‘movie star’ boyfriend having sex with a man. After assessing her limited options, she returns to Mark with a deal—if he agrees to marry her, she’ll forget the whole thing ever happened. Mark accepts her terms, but neither fully understands the sacrifices they have to make. Their relationship quickly deteriorates, but Tracy’s world blossoms when she befriends the quirky residents in her Los Feliz neighborhood. As she discovers her sense of self and true passion for cooking, Tracy is a catalyst that forces everyone around her to grow and connect in unforeseen ways. The cast includes Janeane Garofalo and The Walking Dead’s Melissa McBride, with an original score by Patrick Sansone (Wilco).

Planet Ottakring

The Holly Kane Experiment

Any idea how to start a revolution? This Austrian comedy follows the inner workings of the inner-city Viennese community of Outtakring, as a young hustler, a foreign exchange student and residents get creative together to pay off loan sharks and restore pride to the district. Revolutions often start with one idea...

Holly Kane is an experimental psychologist, whose research into mind-control techniques is driven by a fear of insanity. As she experiments with drug-fuelled subliminal programming, two very different men come into her life. One is young and handsome, the other old and powerful. But neither of them are telling her the whole truth. When Holly steps up her experiments on herself

Peelers

Dir: Sevé Schelenz, 96 min, Canada

Dir: Michael Riebl, 90 min, Austria

Dir: Tom Sands, 102 min, UK

with more sophisticated equipment and more powerful drugs, she descends into paranoia and madness.

The Other Kids

Dir: Chris Brown , 95 min, USA

A raw, intimate look into the struggles of six small-town teens on the verge of high school graduation,The Other Kids is a bold and original hybrid of fiction & non-fiction in which real teenagers collaborated with director Chris Brown to tell their own gripping, personal stories.

We’re Still Together

Dir: Jesse Klein, 82 min, Czech Republic

A bullied, overweight teen is rescued by a manic single dad and together they set off into the city at night. At house parties, dive bars and backyard pools, with teenage crushes, estranged wives and daughters, Chris and Bobby come to know each other, and try not to lose themselves.

We’ve Forgotten More Than We Ever Knew Dir: Thomas Woodrow, 89 min, USA

In the aftermath of an unknown calamity, two survivors travel through a hostile wilderness, guided only by a long-distant memory of home. When they encounter the ruins of a vanished society, everything they know is called into question, threatening their relationship, their memories and their future. Screens with Monsters.

Youth in Oregon

Dir: Joel David Moore, 105 min USA

Youth in Oregon is a dark comedy about a man who agrees to drive his cantankerous father-in-law cross-country, with the hopes of talking him out of getting euthanized.

Murderous Tales

Dir: Jan Bubenícek, 80 min, Czech Republic/Slovakia

Murderous Tales is a special effect animated feature film combining live actors with 3D/2D animation, puppets and back projection. It contains three stories: Antonio Cacto, Lighthouse and The Big Man, plus three ultrashort films called Charge the Dragon.

DOCUMENTARY FILM DESCRIPTIONS SHU-DE!

The Slippers

Drokpa

Following in the footsteps of Paul Pena (Genghis Blues), Beatboxer, Shodekeh, travels across the world from Baltimore, MD to Kyzyl, Tuva, Russia to take part in a festival celebrating the 50th Birthday of the legendary musician, Kongar-ool Ondar. While there, he collaborates and competes with some of the worlds best Tuvan throat singers in pursuit of a goal to create an oasis of unity with music. Music is the language in this exploratory documentary filled with rare recordings and open landscapes.

The Slippers traces the unbelievable history of The Ruby Slippers from The Wizard of Oz. They have been bought, stolen, and coveted by many, and are the single most desired piece of Hollywood Memorabilia.

The Cinema Travelers

The Age of Consequences

Set in the high plateau of eastern Tibet, Drokpa is an intimate portrait of an extended nomadic family whose life is on the cusp of irreversible change. With rare access to a small community of nomads living on the vast yet rapidly degrading grasslands on the eastern Tibetan Plateau, DROKPA, meaning nomads and nomadic culture in Tibetan, reveals the unprecedented environmental and socialpolitical forces the nomads are facing. Richly observed daily lives and family relationships are at once deeply personal and illustrative of the universal issues of gender, freedom, adaptation to a changing climate and the resilience of human spirits.

Dir: Michael R Faulkner, 85 Min, USA

Dir: Shirley Abraham, Amit Madheshiya, 96 min, India

Once every year, traveling cinemas bring the wonder of the movies to faraway villages in India. Seven decades on, as their lorries and cinema projectors crumble and film reels become scarce, their audiences are lured by slick digital technology. Filmed over five years, The Cinema Travellers accompanies a shrewd exhibitor, a benevolent showman and a maverick projector mechanic who bear a beautiful burden - to keep the last traveling cinemas of the world running. A Cannesaward winning documentary.

Walk with Me

Dir: Jesse Nesser, 100 min, USA

The Trials of Judge Damon J. Keith tells the story of ten extraordinary years, four groundbreaking cases, and one unconventional black federal judge, whose rulings forever changed the face of civil rights in the United States. It may be the greatest story you never heard.

Dir: Morgan White, 91 min, USA

Dir: Yan Chun Su, 79 min, China

Best and Most Beautiful Things Dir: Garrett Zevgetis, 90 min USA

In a celebration of outcasts everywhere, a precocious young blind woman disappears into quirky obsessions and isolation. With humor and bold curiosity, she chases love and freedom in a surprising sex-positive community. Dir: Jared P Scott, 80 min, USA

‘The Hurt Locker’ meets ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, This film investigates the impacts of irreversible climate change, resource scarcity, mass migration, and pandemic conflict vis a vis national security and global instability. A film about global warming even the most ardent Fox News fan can enjoy.

Jackson

Dir: Maisie Crow, 93 min, USA

The anti-abortion movement has made access to legal abortion nearly impossible. Since the passing of Roe v. Wade over four decades ago, the anti-abortion movement has won significant legal, cultural and political battles. Set against the last standing abortion clinic in Mississippi, this film is an intimate, unique look inside the issues surrounding abortion through all sides of this debate during a decisive turning point for reproductive healthcare in America.

Happy Lucky Golden Tofu Panda Dragon Good Time Fun Fun Show Dir: Carrie Preston, 75 min, USA

Directed by Emmy winning comedic TV star Carrie Preston (True Blood/Good Wife/ Crowded). East Meets West in this live standup comedy, sketch, and rock n’ roll/spoken word concert film focused on Asian American themes: immigration, bowl cuts, math nerds, the model minority myth. And Hello Kitty everything. (Strong Language. Adult cultural themes. Some curse words)

Goodbye Darling I’m Off To Fight Dir: Simone Manetti, 73 min, Italy

After a painful breaking up with her boyfriend, actress Chantal Ughi found that Thai Boxe fighting was a way to get out her anger, and to fight ghosts from her childhood. She moves to Thailand for five years and becomes the world champion.

El Chivo

Dir: Rod Murphy, 79 min, USA

El Chivo (‘The Goat’) is what the indigenous Tarahumara of Mexico’s Copper Canyons call

Ultra Runner Wiill Harlan ever since he won their 50 mile Ultra, a race made famous by the bestseller ‘Born to Run.”

Real Boy

Dir: Shaleece Haas, 72 min, USA

REAL BOY is the coming-of-age story of Bennett Wallace, a transgender teenager on a journey to find his voice—as a musician, a friend, a son, and a man. As he navigates the ups and downs of young adulthood, he works to gain the love and support of his mother, who has deep misgivings about her child’s transition. Along the way, Bennett forges a powerful friendship with his idol, Joe Stevens, a celebrated transgender musician with his own demons to fight.

The League of Exotic Dancers Dir: Rama Rau, 90 min, Canada

Directed by acclaimed filmmaker Rama Rau (The Market, Aftermath) and produced by Emmy Award-winning producer Ed Barreveld (Herman’s House, The World Before Her), League of Exotique Dancers explores vintage Burlesque’s world of fun, frolic, and feathers, yet also turns the spotlight on the poverty, racism, and sexism that were rampant under all that glitter.

NANA

Dir: Serena Dykman, 100 min, USA

The filmmaker retraces her grandmother’s Auschwitz survival story and investigates how her life-long fight against intolerance can be passed on to new generations in the 21st century. In partnership with AK Jewish Museum.

Meet the Patels

Dir: Geeta V. Patel, Ravi V. Patel, 88 min, USA, India

MEET THE PATELS is a laugh-out-loud real life romantic comedy about Ravi Patel, an almost-30-year-old Indian-American who enters a love triangle between the woman of his dreams ... and his parents. Filmed by Ravi’s sister in what started as a family vacation video, this hilarious and heartbreaking film reveals how love is a family affair.

SHORT DOCUMENTARY DESCRIPTIONS Martini Matinee Pickle

Dir: Amy Nicholson, 16 min, USA

A fish that can’t swim, propped up in a sponge. A morbidly obese chicken. A cat with a serious heart condition. A paraplegic possum. Meet the world’s worst/best husband-and-wife pet caretaker duo of all time.

A Woman and Her Car Dir: Loïc Darses, 29 min, Canada

December the 31th, 2003. Lucie decides to write a letter to the man who abused her from the age of 8 to 12 years old and resolves herself to bring it to him in person, wherever he may be.

The 100 Years Show Dir: Alison Klayman. 40 min, USA

Carmen Herrera, a spunky and distinctive Cuban-American painter coming up on her 100th birthday, is finally achieving the recognition that eluded her for most of her career.

December 1 - December 7, 2016

Short Docs 1 Program

Short Docs 2 Program

Hello Cuba! Life Along a Neighborhood Street

years later they reconnect when Bill picks up a book written by George, titled The Soul of a Tree.

After more than 50 years of embargo and isolation, little is known of the everyday lives of Cubans living only 90 miles away from U.S. shores. This short film captures the spirit of everyday Cubans living along a quiet street in Havana.

Some Kind of Quest

Dir: Reuben Aaronson, 20 min, USA, CUBA

I’ll Wait Here

Dir: Harry Buerkle, 8 min, AUSTRIA

The film follows a day in the lives of my grandparents as they are adjusting to life after my grandfather has gone blind after an accident.

The Soul of a Tree Dir: Mari Walker, 17 min, USA

The Soul of a Tree follows the paths of two men whose lives intersect in shocking and unexpected ways. Bill Vaughn is an Idaho farmboy when he first meets George Nakashima, a Japanese-American citizen interned during the height of WWII. Over forty

Dir: Andrew Wilcox, 11 min, USA

What happens when artwork becomes life’s work? When creator becomes a caretaker? SOME KIND OF QUEST is a film that invites you into the singular world of Northlandz, a 52,000-square-foot model train installation just 75 minutes outside of Manhattan, and into the ornery mind of the man—and steadfast wife—who brought it all to life.

Starring Austin Pendleton

Dir: Gene Gallerano, David Holmes, 18 min, USA

‘The most famous actor you’ve never heard of.’ Austin Pendleton is that quintessential character actor you might recognize. We follow Austin as he reflects on his life and craft, while his A-list peers discuss his vast influence and dogged determination, and what it means to be an original in today’s celebrity obsessed world.

The Blindside

Dir: Karan Ananth, 3 min, INDIA

Pranaya Murthy, a 60 year old ‘extra’ from South Indian film industry, is still hoping to get his dream role.

The Learning Alliance

Welcome to the Last Bookstore

Collecting garbage for earning and paying their fees for school. Three brothers who are changing their future by studying and at the same time selling garbage in Lahore, Pakistan. The Learning Alliance is a portrait of children with dreams and their struggle towards achieving it.

In the age of Kindle, with the fall of large bookstore chains and his own personal issues, Josh Spencer throws caution to the wind and opens “The Last Bookstore” anyway.

Dir: Muhammad Umar Saeed, 9 min, PAKISTAN

Dir: Chad Howitt, 12 min, USA

33


MADE IN ALASKA MOVIE DESCRIPTIONS The Super Salmon

bay and find his luck pulling in his day of catch.

Dir: Ryan Peterson, 25 min

A radio-tagged salmon in Alaska makes a journey that defies scientific record, on a river slated to be dammed for electricity. The Super Salmon follows the eponymous fish’s journey from the sea to the Susitna’s sparkling, icy headwaters. Along the way we meet the river, the dam, and the people fighting for a way of life and a bright future.

We Eat Fish!

I Am Yup’ik

Dir: Daniele Anastasion, Nathan Golon, 17 min

A 16-year old Yup’ik Alaskan boy leaves his tiny village and travels across hundreds of miles of frozen tundra to compete in a basketball tournament and bring pride to his village.

Alaska remains home to some of the cleanest waters, healthiest salmon runs, and wild, abundant seafood left in the world. “We Eat Fish!” explores how much fish Alaskans eat, and why it matters to our water, our seafood, and you.

Walt and Sea Dir: Frank Sun, 6 min

A story about an Alaska fisherman navigating the

Alaska’s Mind-Blowing Aurora Dir: Todd Salat, 47 min

The story of how Alaskan Yupik culture was impacted by Westernization and the decimation caused by the influenza epidemic of 1918.

ALASKA’S MIND BLOWING AURORA is 47 minutes of music to the eyes, ears & soul as it chronicles the adventures of long-time professional Aurora Hunter Todd Salat. With his truck camper as a mobile base camp gain an insider’s perspective as Salat aurora hunts throughout the Alaska Range, the Interior and into the far northern reaches of the Brooks Range in search of heroic moments in nature that are truly mind blowing!

Agayutem Yui (People of God)

The Interior

Yup’ik women have chosen to lead many Catholic churches in Southwestern Alaska, despite having limited authority from the Roman

January, the Alaskan Interior, 56 dogs, 4 humans, 5 hours of sunlight. This observational work - shot on both 16mm and digital video – is a sensory

Yuuyaraq

Dir: Lisle Hebert, 28 min

Dir: Daven Hafey, 27 min

Catholic Church. Can their model of leadership inspire the Roman Catholic Church to adapt?

Dir: Bridget Power, 16 min

journey that follows Brent Sass, an awardwinning dog musher, and his community of dogs living in isolation in the rural inland of Alaska.

Speaking from the HeART Dir: Mary Katzke, 11 min

Speaking from the HeART is a short-film that shares the story of Raymond “Ramond” Severence who was abandoned as a child in the Arizona desert, raised on a reservation, and who eventually ended up in Alaska. Unable to fully communicate his story through words, Raymond has found a way to speak about who he is with the help of The Arc of Anchorage art program, Sparc: a creative place.

Find Me

Dir: Kitty Mahoney, 24 min

Dir: Jonathan Rattner, 22 min

After the death of his father, a young man falls victim to the darkest parts of his own mind. Submerging himself in these memories, he is forced to explore his guilt, his impact on those he loves, and question the value of his life

SHORT FILM DESCRIPTIONS Love & Pain Program

Martini Matinee

Il Campione (The Champion) Dir: Boming Jiang, 12 min, Italy

Would you be able to laugh for five whole minutes? This is what Carmelo says people can do with his weird Smile Machine, the one he shows around fun fairs. He challenges people to laugh for five entire minutes without any interruption. One morning, everyone passing by his unique machine takes the challenge, with an unexpected winner.

Fresh Chocolate Bar

Late Night Shorts Program

adventure movies. For Jungle Jenna, he must terrorize the leading actress lost in a fake jungle, but scaring the woman he desires is going to be particularly tricky for the gorilla man.

Curmudgeons

Dir: Jake DeVito, 17 min, USA

A pair of senior citizens have a relationship that shocks both their families in this potty mouthed but endearing comedy.

The Procedure

A man is captured and forced to endure a strange experiment.

A love poem to a chocolate bar.

Leshy

How To Lose Weight in 4 Easy Steps

Dir: Pavel Soukup, 23 min, Czech Republic

Dir: Benjamin Berman, 7 min, USA

A four step guide to losing weight - kind of.

20 Matches

Dir: Mark Tapio Kines, 10 min, USA

A young woman, her face illuminated only by match light, tells the story of an Austrian serial killer who murdered 20 immigrant women - one per year.

Karel is passionate forester who reigns his woods with tough but caring hand. In an abandoned part of the woods lurchers wake up a creature, who can be an equivalent opponent for him. In fairy tales this creature is called Leshy, but meeting it is definitely not a fairy tale. While Karel is trying to track Leshy, he is already closer than he had expected. Who will become the real ruler of the woods?

This Path

Dir: Meko Winbush, 17 min, USA

Thunder Road

Dir: Jim Cummings, 13 min, USA

Grand Jury Prize Winner at the 2016 Sundance Film Festival. Officer Arnaud loved his Mom.

Death$ in a $mall Town Dir: Mark Jones, 7 min, USA

Dir: Mark Jones, 7 min, USA A mayor has a unique way to revive the fortunes of his small town that had been losing citizens, businesses and tourist prior to his taking office.

A Reasonable Request

Detective Jessica Davis, makes a chance arrest that will give her and the man she has arrested a hard lesson in causality -- the capacity of one event to bring about the existence of a second.

Payday

Dir: Szilárd Bernáth, 22 min, Hungary

In Eastern Hungary, powerful insurers keep residents of the poorest Roma communities in a permanent debt spiral. Young parents Feri and Gina try a different strategy to get relief from local boss Simon.

Evil’s Evil Cousin

Dir: Andrew Laurich, 9 min, USA

A desperate son reconnects with his estranged father to ask an unspeakable favor that will change their lives forever.

Gorilla

Dir: Tibo Pinsard, 14 min, France

Hollywood, 1952. Henry Corso performs a costumed gorilla on horror movies and

Boris in the Forest

Dir: Richard Hunter, 30 min, USA

During Pastor Bob’s service one of the congregation takes a turn for the worse, inadvertently birthing himself out of himself; resulting in the arrival of his evil twin - ‘Evil Terry’. Pastor Bob takes this as a sign from God, a test, a renewal of his lacking belief perhaps - perhaps not. Food fights, trouser removal and shotgun exorcisms ensure and like all good things, the story ends in a sing song.

Hard Knocks Program (99 min) game of chess and the aid of a nurse Kelly, he is able to make friends and enjoy life again, until a chess piece goes missing.

Dir: Robert Hackett, 12 min, UK

A black comedy about a Californian geek in search of his horror hero Boris Karloff.

Sing for Your Supper

Late Night Drama

Dir: Mu Sun, 15 min, UK

Dir: Patrice Lalibeté, 8 min, Canada

Dir: Calvin Reeder, 4 min, USA

Dir: Elizabeth Elston. 4 min, Australia

Global Village Program

1:34 AM. A snowy suburb. Jérémie, 24, parks his modified car in front of a crowded club. His friends’ usual concerns (“Hey man, do you have something that will help me make it through the night”?) do not interest him. Jérémie is looking for someone. 1:34 AM. A snowy suburb. Jérémie, 24, parks his modified car in front of a crowded club. His friends’ usual concerns (“Hey man, do you have something that will help me make it through the night”?) do not interest him. Jérémie is looking for someone.

The Salt Man

Dir: Seyed Sajad Moosavi, 15 min, Iran

Being left unsupported, Dr. Sa’id ‘Aram, a genius artist, is obliged to work in a salt mine with his six-year-old girl ...

GlaswAsian Tales

Dir: Lalitha Rajan, 40 min, Scotland

Four young men, from Glasgow’s Southside immigrant communities, yearn for life and love, amidst the pressures, chaos and dangers in a community unsettled by change.

In a totalitarian world where one only eats as well as they can sing, a man must overcome his bout of laryngitis if he ever wants to eat again.

On Time

Dir: Xavier Neal-Burgin, 8 min, USA

Renee Johnson, a mother living in South Central LA, must make a difficult decision when she’s late for her job interview.

Virgin Territory

Dir: Emily Robinson, 15 min, USA

Virgin Territory is sex-positive, queer, and questioning coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who decides to have sex for the first time and commences her journey of sexual exploration.

Like A Butterfly

DIr: Eitan Pitigliani, 28 min, USA

When you are young and you can’t see the true meaning of this life, only a wise old man can show you the way.

No Touching

Dir: Adam Davis, 13 min, USA

Dir: Max Blustin, 3 min, UK

After witnessing a man behave violently towards his girlfriend, someone decides to intervene.

In a shady haunted house attraction where the performers are assaulting female patrons in order to make a name for themselves, the tables are turned when the performers attempt to take on two women who bring a new level of terror as they do some ass kicking of their own.

Black Cat

My Mom and the Girl

Black Cat is an atmospheric portrait of a single father and his teenage daughter growing apart, as she finds solace in black magic as an outlet for her growing sexuality. Black Cat is a Jane Campion mentored project and a Screen Australia funded film.

Dinner with friends takes a dark turn and leads a retired jazz singer suffering with Alzheimer’s and her caregiver to a proverbial crossroads on the streets of East Los Angeles where they encounter The Girl and the three very disparate -- desperate -- women pull each other back into the light.

A Magician

Dir: Leonei Savvies, 15 min, Australia

Chester

Dir: Monique Nagra, 15 min, UK

An older gentlemen is being reluctantly placed in a nursing home in the north of England. Unable to speak english, the man is perceived as a John Doe, and therefore has trouble engaging with other residents and staff. However over time and through the

Susie Singer Carter, 20 min, USA

Monsters

Dir: Steve Desmond, 13 min, USA

Jenn lives in an underground bunker with her family, protected from the monsters that now ravage the world. This is the day that she goes outside… Screens with We’ve Forgotten More Than We Ever Knew

SPECIAL EVENTS Opening Night Film + Gala: “Sugar Mountain”

family! Free, Wednesday, Dec 7th, 4 PM, Alaska Experience Theatre.

Join us in a one-of-a-kind opener of the festival with the premiere of an adventure film made right here in Alaska! Director and Cast present for Q & A; Champagne, desserts, and music to follow the film! It’s a party not-to-be-missed!

Screenwriter’s Forum

AIFF’s newest category of competition, Screenplay, has its own spotlight event! Event will include table-reading of winning script, short panel discussion on the craft of screenwriting, and a space to network and share ideas. Saturday, Dec 3rd, 1 PM @ BearTooth.

Free Family Films

See a show of short animations for the whole

Music & Film Panel

Alaska Independent Musicians Initiative and AIFF will talk about licensing music for film, as well as creative collaboration between local artists, filmmakers and musicians alike. Sunday, December 4th, 2 PM @ 49th State Brewing Co Theater.

“The Adventures of Prince Achmed” Live Performance Screening

An exciting exhibition of live performance music paired with the longest-surviving feature-length animation film, created in 1926 by German filmmaker Lotte Reiniger. Miles and Karina of Seattle, WA, brings to AIFF the charisma of their original score to delight

audiences of all ages with their performance! A Not-To-Be-Missed Event! Sunday, Dec 4th, 6 PM at BearTooth.

After-School Special

A showcase of young Alaskan filmmakers under age 24! Wednesday, Dec 7, 3:15 at BearTooth.

One Course Discourse Panel

Join us for a fun discussion as a panel from many corners of the filmmaking world weigh in on many sides of the ever-changing independent film scene, and what Indie Filmmaking in Alaska has to offer. Join us for the BearTooth’s monthly free lunchtime discussion on Dec 9th at 12, and be a part of the discussion!

Polar Nights: Films Worth Freezing For! An outdoor film on top of 5th Ave Parking

Garage (5th Ave and B). Join us to watch short films of filmmakers “messing with the system”! In partnership with Anchorage Museum. Friday, Dec 9th. 6-8 PM. Dress warmly!

Viva Voom Burr-Lesque performance Following the screening of acclaimed documentary, “League of Exotic Dancers”, the astounding Viva Voom Burr-Lesque Performers will dazzle audiences with their talents. Friday, Dec 9th, 10 PM. $15/Free to Passholders.

Golden Oosikar Awards Ceremony Find out which AIFF Jury and Audience Award-winning films will receive an oosik! Come celebrate our “Films Worth Freezing For”! Sunday, Dec 11th, at 5 PM, at Williwaw. Open to the public, food included with admission. $20, $10/passholders.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS Denali Sponsors

Northern Lights Sponsors

Alpenglow Sponsors

Chinook Sponsors

Coho Sponsors

Patron of Arts

ALASKA PUBLIC MEDIA alaskapublic.org

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December 1 - December 7, 2016


BY KIRSTEN SWANN

T

HE SCENE IS LIKE SOMETHING out of a fever dream: languid, sweaty bodies in a tropical setting. Old-timey music. Evocative black-and-white film shot through a narrow aperture. Sparse dialogue. “You all better go back to the gym, you look like you’re gaining weight,” says the old man with the bicycle. “I gotta go to the shop and buy some condoms. And remember … no slapping!” So begins Sissy-Boy Slap-Party—the 2004 short by Canadian filmmaker Guy Maddin—six full minutes of energetic slapping and creative cinematography. Some call it lunatic. Others describe it as surreal. Riotous. Slapstick. Sexual. It’s also fine art, one of four short films selected for show at the Anchorage Museum during the upcoming exhibit “Cabin Fever: On Film,” set to run Dec. 2 through Feb. 26, 2017. The exhibit—one of the museum’s first major forays into experimental film—marks a new chapter in the evolution of Alaskan art. Billed as an exploration of shared experience, “Cabin Fever” is a farrago of fancy. Its featured films play with themes of loneliness, absurdity and eccentricity, stretching the boundaries of traditional cinema and poetry, according to the museum. “One of my hopes is that Alaska audience might be given the opportunity to view these works and hopefully be inspired by them,” said Michael Walsh, the museum’s guest curator of film and archives. “Experimental filmmaking has a long history of working in the margins, not only in the art world, but also in cinema.” Experimental film is a challenge to traditional cinematic form and content. It’s just recently reached the mainstream. With roots in 1920s Europe and champions like Salvador Dali, experimental forms soon spread to New York and San Francisco, Walsh said. The concept of upending convention gradually gained momentum. Eventually, old experimental devices began making appearances throughout pop culture: The looping videos popularized by Vine. Character-swapping in a Snickers ad campaigns. On the walls at galleries and museums. December 1 - December 7, 2016

“Now, you go into all these spaces, and you can see the projected image as works of art,” Walsh said. “It’s certainly one of my goals to shine light on that history, and give people context of where that stuff comes from.” Alaska is still catching up. While our art scene is varied and deep, when it comes to cinema—like so many other things—the state lags behind the rest of the country, Walsh said. But Alaska is making big strides. And for the Anchorage Museum, which strives to bring “the best of Alaska to the world and the best of the world to Alaska,” experimental film seems like a perfect fit. Two years ago, as part of another Anchorage Museum “Cabin Fever” exhibit devoted to still photography, Walsh organized a series of pop-up screenings at venues around Anchorage. He showed experimental films at the bunker out at Kincaid Park, a log cabin in Eagle River and an Arctic Valley mountaintop. He hoped to see the series grow into something more. “Cabin Fever: On Film” is the latest realization of that dream. The exhibit has a distinctly northern theme; “What happens to your mind when it’s freakin’ January and there’s no light outside,” Walsh said. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as the “extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged time.” It’s that peculiar frenzied feeling Alaskans know all too well. It’s cabin fever. Walsh got his first real taste of it after moving to Alaska in 2003. For the first few years, he said, he struggled to stay active; “Like a kid in the winter,” he said. “I didn’t want to go anywhere.” By the fourth or fifth year, summer solstice still hit him hard. Wintertime remains difficult. It’s hard not to feel lonely sometimes. “I’ve now been up here long enough, at least, for my body to recognize the cycle of how extreme we have it up here,” Walsh said. He wants “Cabin Fever” to reflect that extremity. In a way, he said, it goes hand-inhand with experimental film: Both give way to extreme thoughts and both exist outside the margins.

To find the films for the exhibit, though, Walsh was forced to look outside Alaska: Even though the state has a rich culture of cinematography, there are few filmmakers working on the fine art side of the spectrum,” Walsh said. There’s little in the way of experimental work. For “Cabin Fever,” he sought films that embodied some of the best qualities of the experimental form. He wanted a piece of 1960s American avant garde; something intense; something imaginative. The final selections are all of that and more. Besides Maddin’s Slap-Party, the exhibit features All My Life by Bruce Baillie, Metamorfoza by Martha

Saulitis if she might have a poem suitable for inclusion in a “Cabin Fever”-themed exhibit, she immediately said yes. She recorded “The Far Off Country I’m Writing to You From” a year before her death in January, 2016. Now, Walsh said, her recording of her poem will serve as a portal to the rest of the exhibit, playing on loop via directional speakers at the entrance. Here we wake in the dark & don’t know the time. I’m here to tell you that we exist. We wear wool scarves & pin up our hair. “Her poem really deals with the fierce winter landscape Alaska has,” Walsh said. It sets the tone. Once inside the exhibit, visitors will have the chance to watch all four short films at once. Unlike traditional gallery screenings, where films are shown individually at specific dates and times, “Cabin Fever” will feature looped projections, giving viewers the opportunity to experience the cumulative effect. Some of the projections come with headphones. Two of the films—those by Colburn and Larose—will be projected in large format, Walsh said. “I’m certainly hoping that with this layout, and with the interest of the imagery and the theme of the show, people will want to stay and experience these images,” he said. “I just hope people will give it time.” There are no permanent plans for “Cabin Fever’s” future, but Walsh has already been thinking about a summer iteration of the show. He has enough ideas to fill 10 years’ worth of exhibits, he said. He hopes to find more right here in Alaska. “Alaska does have an incredible artist community that doesn’t rely on this big, vast hope they’re gonna be art stars,” he said. “There’s an element of inspiration everywhere.” Maybe the spark of “Cabin Fever” will light a fire, he said. Maybe one day, there will be enough home-grown experimental film to fill an entire gallery. “Oh my God,” Walsh said. “That’s my dream.” n

Billed as an exploration of shared experience, “Cabin Fever” is a farrago of fancy. Its featured films play with themes of loneliness, absurdity and eccentricity, stretching the boundaries of traditional cinema and poetry, according to the museum. Colburn and Brouillard Passage #14 by Alexandre Larose. The films are sensory masterpieces; short works of art filled with mindbending visual musings. Walsh said he’s been a fan of Maddin’s for years, and he’d programmed Colburn during the original “Cabin Fever” pop-up screenings two years ago. While none of the four featured filmmakers hail from the Last Frontier, the show does include one touch of Alaska—an audio recording of a poem by the acclaimed writer and marine biologist Eva Saulitis. For the curator, it’s personal. After moving to Alaska, Walsh settled down in Homer, where he became Saulitis’ friend and neighbor. Over the course of eight years, they’d shared countless conversations—about Alaska, art, wintertime, the written word and what it all means, Walsh said. Conceptually, film and poetry have a longstanding relationship. The two art forms share much in common. When Walsh asked

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“WAITING FOR SUPERMAN”—THE FLAMING LIPS* Tell everybody waiting for Superman That they should try to hold on the best they can He hasn’t dropped them, forgot them or anything It’s just too heavy for Superman to lift

T

HE MORNING AFTER November’s presidential election, I woke up—sleep-deprived and slightly hung over—to find an unexpected comment in my social media feed: “@jonathanjbower Can’t wait to hear the playlist of mourning & hope.” My heart, which was already struggling to keep afloat, plunged and sank. For starters, I had nothing immediately in mind to offer, only a dizzying, numb stare into what then appeared a spiraling, dark void. And I had nothing on hand or deck to suggest either. As encouraging as it was to learn people were actually reading what I was writing during the weeks leading up to the election, I had submitted my last installment of the “Coping Skills” mixtape articles the day before the election. And that piece was set to run two days after the election. I had written it, of course, with no knowledge—only, admittedly, a misguided assumption—of who would in fact win the presidency. However, I had done so by pitching songs that have served for me in difficult periods of my life as “shelter from the storm”—through all kinds of different storms; songs not so overly well known or popular as to sound redundant or tired—and songs intentionally not of that anthem rock variety, the kinds bombastically heralding victory or proclaiming some fierce, emotionallycharged truth. In a similar spirit now—and partly due to a slog of days and news feed that’s followed the presidential election—I find myself standing thick in the midst of the holiday season this year feeling stuck and bewildered, absolutely flummoxed. And I don’t think I’m alone. For instance, have you noticed the overwhelming number of articles appearing in newspapers and magazines and online sites offering tips and self-helpy advice for how to cope with family and loved ones of different political persuasions this holiday season? Insofar as this does feel like a holiday season unlike any recent one in my memory, I find myself again, or still, casting off, alighting for the low-key, shadowy spaces. Here I am a few weeks after election day and still ducking the glare, now seeking respite from the mayhem synonymous with the holidays. While a number of Christmas seasonthemed songs will appear in these pieces over the next few weeks, it would probably be best to think of these songs, much like those appearing on the Coping Skills mixtape, as an alternative to the crass and aggressive in-your-faceness of commercialized Christmas and holiday cheer. These are songs—some familiar, others not so—to dial up if you’re in a state of overwhelm at the mall and can’t swallow another single Mariah Carey, Michael Buble or NameYour-Pop-Star’s spin on “Joy to the World.” If your brain threatens to go into lockdown hearing “O Little Town of Bethlehem” or “Silent Night” belted out like the National Anthem at Barnes and Noble—or if you find you’re craving a warm fire while anxiously rolling a shopping cart through the toy aisles under a fluorescent glare at Walmart or Target—

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this playlist is for you. Here are some songs to play on your headphones as you weave through the aisles at Costco or to dial up when you get home, depleted, and want only to recover with your head down and legs up on the couch and a mug of tea or wine nearby. Seasons greetings, all.

In the spring of 2003, my sons’ mother, Anya, and I eloped at a wedding chapel in a rundown neighborhood between Philadelphia and the working class neighborhood where I grew up. We didn’t tell anybody we were getting married, and we told ourselves we’d have a “real wedding” with the suits and dresses and bells and whistles someday down the line. That afternoon, after the Justice of the Peace pronounced us married, we drove to my parents’ house a few minutes up the road from the chapel. The plan that Saturday was to descend on my childhood home to visit with my sister and brother-in-law, who were up visiting from Virginia. My brother and his girlfriend came down from the Reading area where they lived and we ordered a Chinese food feast from our favorite neighborhood takeout joint. The U.S. was right then only a few weeks into Desert Storm—or, what some of us more headstrong types referred to only as the “Illegal Invasion of Iraq.” My parents and sister were fans of W., while my brother and I stubbornly fell into the “He’s not my President” camp, which now, years later, admittedly sounds immature and a little childish. I don’t remember now what snarky thing my brother said about the Iraq invasion at the table that afternoon, but I remember that it did not please the Bush fans in the room. And I remember that when I came to his defense we then all swiftly became entangled in a Blue State/Red State meltdown at my parent’s dining room table over exceptionally good Chinese takeout. But what were the details of that blowout anyway? Why can’t I remember? My parents had no doubts that we should be in Iraq; I

argument with family about a politician who then seemed to many of us extreme, ineloquent, dangerous and unpredictable (and who had also lost the popular vote to the Democratic nominee). One of the reasons we hastened to marry, in fact, was because of the post-9/11 rhetoric in the air and coming down from on high, and we were, as per Bey, “crazy in love.” I had no idea that night that I would be moving to Alaska in six months time. I do, however, remember standing with my new wife in the crowd at that show and feeling like, to paraphrase Tom Petty, “the future was wide open.” And I know that when we learned we were pregnant shortly following that night, I wanted—on my albeit limited skills and resources—to somehow do right by this child, my son Sam, to in whatever way possible engage in work that could make the world a better place for him and his generation. Fast-forward to 2016. Is it getting heavy? Well I thought it was already As heavy as can be *If the Flaming Lips aren’t your speed, then try Iron and Wine’s beautiful lo-fi cover of the song appearing on his album, Around the Well.

“IF IT BE YOUR WILL”—LEONARD COHEN After his passing the Monday before Election Day (officially announced on Wednesday, “COME TALK TO ME”—BON IVER/PETER GABRIEL 11/10), Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”—perI can imagine the moment - breaking out haps covered the world over enough times to through the silence give “Happy Birthday” a run for its money— All the things that we both might say - and the finally cracked the Billboard Top 100, more heart, it will not be denied than 30 years since he first released the song on ‘Til we’re both on the same damn side - all the Various Positions. barriers blown away It’s a song that some have argued could acI said please talk to me - won’t you please come tually do with a healthy, lengthy moratorium. talk to me? As a songwriter and passionate advocate (or, nerd) for the written word, I heartily support It feels fitting to lead off with this 1992 gem that suggestion. As one of the more spellbindpenned by Peter Gabriel. Gabriel, to my meming prayers and lyrics, if not hymns, composed ory, was one of the first of a handful of popular and committed to record in my lifetime, there’s artists to notably incorporate the influences of something more than a little unsettling about world music into his pop efforts. The impact relegating it to background music while you of artists and musicians from a variety of culshop at Target, or having to sift through five tural hubs around the globe served to inform different middling versions of it on your Facehis and other pop songwriters’ efforts to such book feed as you also sort through the latest an extent during the 1980s and 90s that it Trump flap and blow past ads for the shoes or spawned a kind of pop-Renaissance during a speakers you just looked at over at amazon. period otherwise known for truly awcom a few minutes ago. ful hair choices and glam rock. And while I do remain an unIn a similar spirit now—and partly Meanwhile, Bon Iver’s spin on this abashed fan of the song, this season, track is—like Justin Vernon at his glo- due to a slog of days and news this year I confess I’m hard pressed rious best—a few spare threads short feed that’s followed the presiden- to proclaim even the “very cold and of otherworldly. If there are banjos in broken hallelujah” that Leonard the afterlife, they sound like the banjo tial election—I find myself stand- Cohen claims bears true testimony here. On the original Peter Gabriel reabiding love, more than any reliing thick in the midst of the holi- to cording, appearing on the album Us, gious or political victory march ever Sinead O’Connor provided the track’s day season this year feeling stuck does. searing background vocals. A search Cohen penned a staggerand bewildered, absolutely flum- ingLeonard did not turn up O’Connor’s counterassortment of prayers, psalms part on Bon Iver’s version, but who- moxed. and meditations over his recording ever it is sounds as equally glorious as career, and this winter, in this speSinead did in the original. could under no circumstances understand cific collection of our darkest days, I would While perhaps my lone opinion, I also think why we were there. I remember our voices es- recommend bypassing “Hallelujah” for a little Bon Iver’s delivery poignantly resembles the calated and then we were shouting. My new while and contemplating the darker, melanraw, bare and vulnerable soul of America right wife and my brother-in-law mostly kept silent. choly truth of “If It Be Your Will.” now. And by “soul,” I am specifically not ref- They were probably the wise ones. Let your mercy spill erencing the armed and guarded, brain-fueled On all these burning hearts in hell It also happened that my brother and I and part of your consciousness that bristles when our partners, along with our cousin and his If it be your will to make us well you learn of someone who supported him or wife, all had tickets to see the Flaming Lips in And draw us near and bind us tight her, or the part of me that spits fire while pe- Philadelphia that evening. All your children here in our rags of light rusing news items in my Facebook feed, or the In our rags of light, all dressed to kill However we dusted off after that dinnerpart of you or me that unfriends family mem- time blowup eludes me today. But the concertEnd this night if it be your will. bers when you learn who they voted for. bound of us packed into one of our cars and I’m saying that Bon Iver here echoes the darted into the city. We bought some beers on While unarmed protestors in North Dakota deeper, truer voice inside the fragile paper our way into Philly and drank in the parked are being gassed and ravaged with rubber bulshelter housing your flaming heart—a part of car behind steamed windows outside the ven- lets and armory, and when, among other inciyou that’s often too terrified to admit it longs ue and tried to process what had gone down dents, a black youth in Alabama has just had to understand or connect on some authentic at dinner. We marveled that our family was a noose thrown around his neck as part of a level with someone, much less bridge our dif- marked by so many disorienting differences. “prank,” I don’t think you can underscore that ferences. Then we entered a concert arena and the “dressed to kill” line now at all. Vernon and Gabriel appeal to something family feud was behind us, drowned in the It’s in this spirit that I appeal to whoever other than what we’ve witnessed occurring in sound of the delightful, large-hearted Flaming the dark, silent being Cohen appealed to in his spades since election day. “Come Talk to Me” Lips. 1984 prayer: urges us to the table together. This song says, End this night, if it be your will. I’ve recently found myself returning to that “I want to understand. And I want us to do night in my mind for a variety of reasons. My Please. And soon. n better.” And it convinces me that better under- wedding day, on the day I married an imstanding is actually possible. migrant, my sons’ mother, featured a fevered December 1 - December 7, 2016


THEATER REVIEW BY LEE HARRINGTON

H

ese

OLDING HER WAND HIGH, Pinkalicious Pinkerton (Sarah Bethany Baird) embodies the stereotypes of girlhood—pink dress, joyous attitude and a bratty desire for her way being the only right way. Her brother, Peter (Chester Mainot), is the young boy who never gets seen, while her mother (Kelly Wilson) is overly busy cleaning the house, caring for her children and doing computer work all at once. Add the stress of pink cupcakes that Baird is craving, and a father (Warren Jay Weinstein) who is never home, and we’re ready for a stereotype of a story that doesn’t come to pass in the ways expected. Pinkalicious: The Musical is this year’s family programming from Cyrano’s Theatre. Though the play seems at first like it should only be for seven-year-old girls, the message and undertones of the show carry layers of story for people of all ages. Written by Elizabeth and Victoria Kaan, with music and lyrics by John Gregor, Pinkalicious follows the story of a young girl who likes pink a bit too much through a hysterical, heartbreaking and joyous quest for authenticity and connection with her family and life at large. With a cast of only five hard-working actors, director Teresa K. Pond chose a playful group to make the script’s silliness come to life in collaboration with music director Lynette Harple. Even though the play’s early attempts to entice audience participation didn’t succeed, by the end of the show the cast’s power to bring kids and adults to laughter made it quite fun. When Baird falls asleep with dreams of everything being pink, her favorite color comes to life. The color becomes embodied as the Cupcake Fairy (ShaeLisa M. Anderson), who takes to the stage in a sensual shift from her earlier character of Baird’s talkative best friend, Alison. Baird wakes up from her dream completely pink; pink clothes, pink hair, pink from head to toe. Spending large chunks of the play on his knees to emphasize the age difference between them, Mainot’s overalls provide a chance to tell the story of how boyhood is forced on young men in our culture. Baird is allowed to be playful, cute, pink—the cher-

Sarah Bethany Baird sings while Chester Mainot watches. PHOTO BY O’HARA K. SHIPE.

ished girl. Mainot vanishes, leading his solo performance to stand out as a boy who cries out “give me pink, let me be who I am,” to be all the more powerful.

pink shows his excellence and believability as a powerful actor—shifting from young child to fourth-wave feminist and back again in just one song—and engaging young boys in the audience. Wilson as their mother shoulders the suffering of so many women. “You get what you get, and don’t get upset” is her mantra, half to her daughter, and half to herself to cope with a life where her husband is never home. Her honest heartache during her solo helps her stand out as an actress who might have otherwise vanished behind the frenetic energy of the show. The same call for mediocrity and acceptance also echoes in the voice of Weinstein whose Mr. Pinkerton floated off into being a non-character in his child’s life during the first half of the show. Weinstein finally rises

Though the play seems at first like it should only be for sevenyear-old girls, the message and undertones of the show carry layers of story for people of all ages. In a quest for feminism, we have shown that women can wear men’s clothes to become more powerful, but have left the color pink as a thing that only weak men are supposed to wear. Instead, the declaration from Mainot that it takes a strong man to wear

to the surface in both the acid-trip-worthy flower-scene as the bumble bee, and then in his own vulnerability near the end of the show which brought the final elements of the plot together. This show would not have been possible without the amazing work of the scene and prop crew, whose capacity to turn a refrigerator into first a bed, then a doctor’s office made the show shine. If you are looking for something deep to chew on, this show will not be for you. If you have kids ages four to 12, however, or enjoy a laugh lane with subtle messages of empowerment this is the winter show for you. n Pinkalicious The Musical runs through December 18 at Cyrano’s Playhouse, running concurrently with Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some). Tickets for both shows are available at Cyranos.org.

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37


BOOK REVIEW BY DAVID FOX

T

HE THOUGHT OF YOUR CHILD being kidnapped is terrifying. So much so, that it represents one of the greatest fears of all parents. According to a 1998 study by the Mayo Clinic “nearly threequarters of parents said they feared their children might be abducted.” This outranked other concerns such as “car accidents, sports injuries, or drug addiction.” Looking at the numbers it’s easy to see why so many parents obsess over this potential tragedy. Parents. com reports that “every 40 seconds in the

home. Notwithstanding this knowledge, her recounting of this painful episode remains a taut thriller, a twisting, rollercoaster ride up and down the gamut of emotions, wringing from the reader disbelief, anger and sorrow. This is not to say that Meredith engages in clichéd bits of melodrama—far from it. One of the many strengths of her trenchant pilgrimage to rescue her children is that it does not devolve into a cloying composite

One of the many strengths of her trenchant pilgrimage to rescue her children is that it does not devolve into a cloying composite of artificially constructed set pieces, designed to squeeze our tear ducts dry. United States, a child becomes missing or is abducted.” That works out to about 2,160 per day or 788,000 per year. Of this mountain of kidnapped youth, about 1,000 or so (roughly one percent) are removed from the U.S. While nearly 50 percent of all kidnappers are family members, when it comes to abducting a child to a foreign country the crime is almost always perpetrated by one of the parents. Tragically, only about half of these children are returned to the victimized parent. Liz Meredith’s story takes place within the confines of that one percent. Her two young daughters, aged four and six, are abducted by their abusive father—four years divorced from Meredith—and smuggled away from Anchorage to Greece. The good news, if there is such in memoirs like these, is that from the very beginning we know that Meredith was successful in bringing her children back

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of artificially constructed set pieces, designed to squeeze our tear ducts dry. Meredith gracefully pulls us into her journey, so that we’re traveling into Greece with her, by her side, silent participants, holding on, as best we can, much like she is doing. It is an incredibly frustrating ride. At almost every stage it seems like events and people are conspiring against her. It would be unfair to potential readers to disclose those specifics—suffice to say, most every institution and many of the people staffing those organizations, at one point in time or another, fail to help Meredith and in some cases, rather than helping at all, hinder her efforts

by either giving bad advice or no advice at all. I was so incensed by the actions of some officials that I researched them, hoping to learn if they had paid for their transgressions. On a much more celebratory note, there are scores—yes, literally scores of them—of people who rise to the occasion. Meredith, who lives here in Anchorage “worked as a bat-

tered women’s advocate at Abused Women’s Aid in Crisis (AWAIC)” when her kids were stolen from her. Her colleagues, friends and supporters from around the community worked tirelessly to raise contributions (she spent well over $100,000), critical in her quest to secure the return of her girls. When she went to Greece she was afraid that the Greek community would rally to her divorced mate’s defense, not caring about the heinous crime he had committed—thankfully, she was wrong. Except for some government officials who let personal biases interfere with their professional responsibilities, the Greek community opened their arms to her. She was sheltered in private homes by people she had never met before. Individuals who were strangers risked their reputations and livelihood to help her. The altruistic outpouring buoyed her spirits, kept her aloft through the turbulence and finally, it was her Greek friends who crafted the solution to rescue her children. Meredith was blown away by this sweeping support she received. Speaking with her from her home in Anchorage she said that even today, more than 20 years after the event transpired, she was amazed at “how unifying our crisis was to people everywhere. Here in Anchorage, all around the world, people were saying, ‘This is horrible, what can we do to help you?”’ It is Meredith’s acknowledgement of the role all those individuals played that makes this a universal story. She elucidated on that theme when I asked her what she most wanted her book to achieve: “I hope it becomes a book that helps, gives back in some small way—pays it forward.” And it does exactly that. n

December 1 - December 7, 2016


ART LISTINGS • 12.2.16 DOWNTOWN ALLURE DAY SPA & HAIR DESIGN—Featuring Rhonda Scott and benefitting the Alaska Cheer Booster Club: 5 to 8 p.m. (142 W. 5th Ave.) ANCHORAGE ARTIST CO-OP—Art workshop for ages 12 to 21: 6 to 8 p.m. (601 W. 5th Ave.) ANCHORAGE MUSEUM—“Cabin Fever: On Film” created by Northern artists and filmmakers: 6 to 9 p.m. (625 C St.) AURORA FINE ARTS—Featuring Alaskan artist Sandy Jamieson: 5 to 8 p.m. (737 W. 5th Ave.) CAPTAIN COOK COFFEE CUBBY—New original acrylic paintings by artist Macy Pellerin: 6 to 8 p.m. (939 W. 5th Ave.) INTERNATIONAL GALLERY OF CONTEMPORARY ART—Featuring Situs Relictus artists Sandra Talbot and Jason Fristensky, exhibition paints and collages by Honor Hall and “Chapter 65, The Whale as a Dish” by David Pettibone: 5 to 9 p.m. (427 D St.) REAL ART IS BETTER—Featuring Scott Clendaniel and Ashley Maury: 5 to 7:30 p.m. (333 4th Ave., Ste. 4) SEVIGNY STUDIO—Featuring the work of Thor Eveson: 6 p.m. (608 W. 4th Ave.) SNOW CITY CAFE—Featuring the exhibit of Christine Sundly: 5:30 to 8 p.m. (1034 W. 4th Ave.) STEPHAN FINE ARTS—New works by Zane Burgess: 6 to 10 p.m. (939 W. 5th Ave.)

"Fall Creek Treasury"

BY ZANE BURGESS SHOWING AT STEPHAN FINE ARTS

"Snow Cone"

BY HONOR HALL SHOWING AT IGCA

"The Whale as a Dish"

BY DAVID PETTIBONE SHOWING AT IGCA

AROUND TOWN APU CARR GOTTSTEIN AND GRANT HALL GARDENS—Through a partnership with The Alaska Humanities Forum, and your sponsorship and purchase of 40 surviving statues, the “100Stone Fund” will be able to continue its investment in Alaskan artists: 5 to 7 p.m. (4101 University Dr.) APU CONOCOPHILLIPS GALLERY—APC Jurors Choice featuring Charlotte Peterson and Greg Hensel: 5 to 7 p.m. (4101 University Dr.) BECKY GALLERY—Featuring artist Becky Grunders 2nd annual show: 6 to 8 p.m. (701 W. 36th Ave.) BLUE HOLLOMON GALLERY—“Evolution: One” by Kristin DeSmith: 5 p.m. (3555 Arctic Blvd.)

December 1 - December 7, 2016

GREAT HARVEST BREAD COMPANY—Featuring Yuliya Helgesen-Thompsons’ SplashnPaint Students art: 4 to 6 p.m. (570 E. Benson Rd.) LEAH J. PETERSON GALLERY—Presenting artist Susan Serna and her images, “Volvo Graveyard” an Alaska Photographic Center Members’ Exhibition: 5 to 7 p.m. (4101 University Dr.) OPEN SPACE—Featuring Don Roller, Marta Zegzdryn, Laman Hendricks and Cat Stewart: 5 to 8 p.m. (630 E. 57th Pl.) PINK RAVEN STUDIO—Featuring artist Stephanie Zuck and Marianne Elson: 5 to 7 p.m. (135 Christensen Dr.)

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BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

FUTURE OF TRAVEL Australian aviator David Mayman has promised investors that his personal jet packs will hit the market by mid-2017, though early adopters will pay about $250,000 for one, to fly a person at up to 60 mph for 10 minutes. The JB-10 (developed by Mayman and designer Nelson Tyler) has made about 400 test runs in Monaco and over downtown London and New York City, but the partners realize that ultimate success will require that the fuel tanks be downsized so that the craft can be powered electrically—and thus seek crowdfunding both for that model and a larger one to accommodate the Pentagon’s (Special Operations Command) tactical needs. THE CONTINUING CRISIS —Wild Life: The state agency Colorado Parks and Wildlife filed 21 criminal charges in October against the Squirrel Creek Wildlife Rescue center in Littleton, alleging that some of the orphaned and rehabbing animals Kendall Seifert houses are not being kept according to the state’s strict standards—and that Seifert’s 15-yearold center is also home to his popular swingers’ club (Scarlet Ranch) featuring weekend sex parties. One of the criminal charges suggests that rescue animals could be stressed by gazing at activity in the ranch’s bar area. Seifert said he will challenge the charges out of fear that many of the raccoons, foxes, song birds, coyotes, skunks, rabbits and squirrels he would have to relinquish would not find suitable facilities elsewhere. —In St. Paul, Minnesota, a 25-year-old woman told police on Nov. 3 that she was involuntarily roughed up several hours after being voluntarily roughed up at Arnellia’s Bar’s weekly “Smack Fest”—in which female patrons competitively slap each other’s faces for three “rounds” under strict house rules. The woman said she spoke amicably with her opponent, but by closing time, the opponent and several friends, including men, punched and kicked her outside the bar. (In other slapping news, a 71-year-old woman died in Lewes, England, in November while participating in a Chinese healing seminar that emphasizes being slapped repeatedly to rid the body of poisoned blood and toxins. The “healer,” Hongshi Xiao, charges clients around $900 to beat what he calls the “sha” out of them.) —Episode Almost Ended in a Tie: In November, in a remote area of Oregon’s Maury Mountains, a 69-year-old man killed an elk and dragged the carcass behind his off-road vehicle up a hill. According to the Crook County Sheriff’s office, the vehicle suddenly flipped over backward, and the man landed on, and was impaled by, the elk’s antlers. Fellow hunters summoned a helicopter, and the man has apparently survived.

ian” funeral eulogizers now offer to give individually tailored remembrances of the deceased for a fee, according to an October report by a New York Post reporter who interviewed two local “celebrants,” who cited the declining appeal of “prayers.” (2) The British retailer ASOS announced in August that 3-foot-long clip-on dinosaur tails had sold out in one of its two models (although New York magazine, which reported it in the U.S., was, for obvious reasons, baffled about why). THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS Brittany Maynard, then 29, became “the face of the Right to Die movement” in 2014, according to a New York Post column, when she chose a legal physician-assisted suicide rather than awaiting the growth of her terminal brain tumor. In October, terminally ill California mother Stephanie Packer hoped to be

PERSPECTIVE A high-level policy document released by the Chinese government in September detailed plans to use technology to monitor citizen behavior to such a degree that each person would receive a “social credit” score (similar to a FICO score in the U.S. but covering a range of conduct beyond financial) that would be the basis for allotting perks such as government support in starting businesses and whether parents’ children are eligible for the best schools. “(K)eeping trust is glorious,” according to the document, and “good” behavior promotes a “harmonious socialist society.” ARKANSAS CHIC Kristi Goss, 43, an assistant to a Garland County (Arkansas) judge, was arrested in October and charged with stealing nearly $200,000 in public funds, which she used to buy such things as a tuxedo for her dog, sequined throw pillows, a “diamond bracelet” (retailing for $128) and, of course, Arkansas Razorback football tickets.

The usual 20,000 or so visitors every year to Belgium’s 30-acre Verbeke Foundation art park are allowed to reserve a night inside the feature attraction: a 20-foot-long, 6-foot-high polyester replica of a human colon created by Dutch designer Joep Van Lieshout.

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT (1) In a retail market long dominated by priests, “nonsectar-

“the face of the Right to Live movement” after revealing that her insurance company denied coverage for a drug that could extend her life—but at the same time disclosed that her suicide drugs are covered, and even disclosed her co-pay ($1.20). MEDICAL MARVELS Margaret Boemer’s baby LynLee was “born” twice. In an October Texas Children’s Hospital interview, doctors described how the need to rid Boemer’s fetus of a rapidly growing tumor required them, at Boemer’s 23rd week of pregnancy, to remove the fetus completely from the uterus until it was “hanging out in the air” so that they could cut away the tumor and then reposition the fetus into the uterus. LynLee was “born” again by C-section 13 weeks later. SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED San Francisco State University researchers revealed in April that no fungi or fecal bacteria were found on the seats of the city’s bus line or rapid transit trains (unlike their findings in 2011 before officials adopted easier-to-clean seats), but that a “rare” and “unusual” strain, called Pigmentiphaga was found— previously associated only with South Korean wastewater and the South China Sea. The city’s Department of Health said, of course, not to worry.

THE ARISTOCRATS! (1) Motorist Kurt Jenkins, 56, was arrested in November in Boynton Beach, Florida, after a pedestrian said Jenkins, naked, motioned him to his car to take a look. The pedestrian said there were children in the area—and also that Jenkins appeared to have wires running from his genitals to an unidentified “electrical device.” (2) Among a stash of pornography found recently on the computer of Michael Ward, 70, were photos of humans having some sort of sex with “horses, dogs, (an) octopus and (an) eel,” according to a report of England’s Chelmsford Crown Court proceedings. A pre-sentencing order forbade Ward to have contact with children under 16 (but was silent about possible contact with fish or mollusks). THE PASSING PARADE (1) At press time, “Bugs Bunny” and “Pink Panther” were on trial in St. Catharines, Ontario, on aggravated-assault charges from a Halloween 2015 bar fight in which “Dracula’s” ear was severely slashed with a broken bottle. “There was a lot of blood,” said a witness (but coming from Dracula, not being sucked out by Dracula). (Update: The judge cleared Bugs, but was still deliberating on Panther.) (2) The tardigrade is an ugly microorganism that is perhaps the sturdiest animal on Earth, able to endure otherwise-impossible living conditions and (thanks to gene-sequencing) known to be composed of DNA not seen elsewhere. A Japanese company recently began selling an oversized, cuddlable tardigrade toy “plushie” authenticated by science’s leading tardigrade authority, professor Kazuharu Arakawa of Keio University. n

Email: isawyou@anchoragepress.com

SWAROVSKI BRACELET AND JOHN WICK - W4M Its been a long time but you have my swarovski bracelet. I think I left it at your place after we saw John Wick at Tikahtnu Commons. I’d like it back. You indicated you wanted to meet up but then you went silent. Maybe I can get it from you? BLUE TOOTH (ANCHORAGE)- W4M I’m wondering if you’ll see this on your own without me picking one up for us to read aloud on our dates at the Blue Tooth. (I know you’ll know who this is for if you do read it.). Not texting me back after I told you my divorce saga was a dick move. You could’ve at least said, “I’m sorry we can’t go out anymore, but I’ve really enjoyed your company.” Or something like, “Even though we can’t date, I’d still like to be friends.” I almost invited you to go out on Thanksgiving and for your birthday because I didn’t want you to be alone AND I enjoy your company/friendship, but I think if you didn’t have the

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decency to respond to my disclosure, then you should probably just spend those holidays on call, Dr. Morgue. Happy Birthday (Jerk!), I’ll miss reading the “I Seen You” section to you. PS Stay away from my secret parking spot! GHOSTING THE NEW TREND? - W4M (WASILLA) I am so confused and hurt. Is there no men left out there with any integrity. Any you can actually believe? Why would someone go out with you, tell you what a fabulous time they had, even following it up with a video text about how much fun they had, then proceed to text the next several days, talking about getting together again the following weekend. Then poof, they disappear, nothing, no contact. If they weren’t interested why follow the date with all the extra BS? Why not just say your not interested? Ok we met on a dating site, maybe you met someone else? Tell me, I’m a big girl. Why, why and why can’t you just be honest, leaving people hanging and wondering is just mean, cruel, and disrespectful. This isn’t the first time,

this was just the most extreme case I’ve experienced. This seems to be a trend, and what makes you all think this is ok to do to someone, to anyone? LOOKING FOR PEGGING - M4W (PALMER) I am a 26 year old man. Tall attractive and fit. Looking to try pegging for the first time. I am clean and drug free. Looking for tonight or maybe next week. Any woman want to hit me up. Not to concerned with body size just don’t be HUGE. Also age let’s say 40ish or less. Thanks! FOUND YOUR RING - M4M I found your wedding ring! Well to be more accurate my doctor did, but it is all cleaned up now and ready for you. You met me in Home Depot picking out bathroom tile, and didn’t even catch your name. I knew you were a pilot (even before you told me a few times :) and love the way you fly. I’m not normally a bottom but will be yours anytime! It’s cool your straight and married but I’m here when want to stray down the dirt road. For now I’ll just hold onto this big ring of yours.

BABY - M4W (VALLEY) Baby we met on craigslist for a one nite thing that has never happened the nite we met it was my ride that interrupted our plans here it is three months later we have grown really close in this time but we still haven’t had our one nite we were supposed to have it tonite but its 430 am and I’m still alone I don’t know how much more I can take I’ve fallen in love with you I give you every thing you ask for no matter what I have to do to make sure you have it just know that I don’t understand why you won’t spend this time with me what I’m saying is I can’t GI much further giving you everything and I can’t even get one nite love you but I’m broken hearted WASILLA HOTEL LOBBY - M4M (WASILLA) Just spoke to you in the lobby in a hotel in Wasilla. Your names starts with A. VERY goodlooking you. I’m a married guy yet I was attracted to you. I can;t believe I am saying this but I would LOVE to give you a discrete bj in the privacy of my hotel room. We are both from out of State. Here for work and both are in the same line of

business. You probably wouldnt even see this post. If you do , PLEASE reply? I will be checking my email every few minutes:) I think you caught me checking you out as we were getting into our respective rooms. I am being very brave here, PLEASe reply if you happen to see this. You know who I am. I have NEVER sucked a cock before and I got immediately attracted to you. It’s strange, I want it:) ALASKA CLUB - M4M (EAST) We were leaving and you stared me down. It looked like you wanted to use me bad. And I really wanted you too. Let me know if you want to meet up. Send a pic so I know it’s you.n

Have you seen someone you just can’t get off your mind? Has someone seen you? Drop us a line at: isawyou@anchoragepress.com (www.sendanonymousemail.net is one way to go about it), fax 561-7777 or stick it in our slot at 540 E. 5th Ave. Submissions not edited for grammatical errors.

December 1 - December 7, 2016


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QUICKIES BY DAN SAVAGE My boyfriend of almost two years is wonderful, and we have had very few issues. But there is one thing that has almost been a deal breaker. He fiddles with his penis almost constantly—in front of me and in front of our roommates. I’ve confronted him about it a number of times. He said he should be able to fiddle with his dick in every room of the house if he wants to and he should feel comfortable doing so. I told him that he is being “comfortable” at the expense of the comfort of those around him. We’ve had a number of confrontations about this, and he does it a lot less, but he still does it. If he doesn’t stop when I tell him to, I just leave the room. My question to you: Is this behavior unacceptable or am I being unreasonable? Frustrated With The Fiddling Until a few weeks ago, I would have said that neo-Nazis sieg-heiling around Washington, DC, was unacceptable and any elected official or pundit who didn’t immediately condemn neo-Nazis would be finished politically and professionally. But it turns out that neo-Nazism is just another example of IOIYAR—“it’s okay if you’re a Republican”—and relativism reigns. In other words: “Unacceptable” is a relative concept, FWTF, not an objective one. That said, FWTF, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable: Fiddling with your dick in every room of the house is inconsiderate and childish. It sounds like you’re doing a good job of socializing your boyfriend—better late than never—and I would encourage you to keep it up.

I am a queer trans woman in my mid-20s, and I am in a monogamous relationship with a queer cis woman. We have been dating for about three months now. We have had an absolutely amazing sex life since day one, except for one caveat: She has never in her life had an orgasm. For most of the time she has been sexually active, she has felt ambivalent about getting off. It has only been in the past month that she has started feeling a “sexual awakening,” as she calls it. We have been making progress, but she has been having issues with getting caught up in her head when I am pleasuring her. This has been causing dysphoric feelings for her. We have had a few discussions about what we can do about the situation, but we are feeling lost. We know there isn’t going to be a quick fix, but what do we do about this? Confused And Nervous Truly Can’t Overcome Much Exasperation Pot. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with the girl I’m going to marry. While I’ve had a few relationships in the past, she has had only one other relationship before me, who also happened to be her only other sexual companion. My girlfriend is very vanilla in the bedroom, which is fine for me, but the issue is that currently the only way for her to have an orgasm is to grind (dry hump) on my boxer shorts until she climaxes. This obviously causes her a little bit of embarrassment, along with some heavy rug burn on both of our ends. My question for you: Is there any toy or something that may help with this? Girlfriend Dryly Humping

This obviously causes her a little bit of embarrassment, along with some heavy rug burn on both of our ends. My question for you: Is there any toy or something that may help with this?

I’m a straight man in a mostly healthy marriage. Our sex life is average, which I understand is better than some people can hope for, and we communicate well. For example, I felt comfortable admitting to my wife a few weeks ago that I would like more blowjobs. She in turn felt comfortable admitting to me that she would prefer if I showered more often. So we made a deal: I would shower every day and she would blow me twice a month. But the first month came and went with no blowjobs in sight. I’ve showered every single day. Should I bring this up to her? Bathe Longer Or Withhold Sex Your wife doesn’t wanna suck your cock, BLOWS, squeaky clean or stinky cheese. I would recommend outsourcing non-birthday blowjobs—if your wife is okay with that, BLOWS, which she won’t be.

I’m a mid-30s bi woman in an incredible poly marriage with a bi guy. A few months ago, I learned that one of my closest friends (also poly) has a crush on me. I also have always had a crush on him. My crush-friend needed to ask his other partners how they felt about him being involved with me. Three months have gone by, and he’s not yet told me how his other partners feel. One of those partners is under a lot of stress—not the best time to bring up potential new partners to her—but my friend has dated other people in the past three months. I think if he really wanted to do something with me, he would have asked by now. I know you can’t ask someone to give you closure. I’ve also got a shit ton of pride that prevents me from asking him directly how he feels. Should I just move on? Confused And Pathetic Yup.

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Pot and sex toys— they might not help, but they couldn’t hurt.

I’m a woman with a small build who has never had children. During sex, my current partner frequently says, “Squeeze your pussy,” as in he expects me to do Kegel exercises during sex (and hold it), which I will not do because it’s not pleasurable for me to tense up like that during sex. He doesn’t have the biggest or the smallest dick I have ever had, and I have never had this comment before. I have actually been told many times how “good and tight” I feel. We both enjoy anal, so we tried that. Same request: “Squeeze.” I have no abnormalities. I’m not sure if there is a work-around for this, other than doing Kegels every minute of my life. Help! Sex Partner’s Annoying Requests You have two options: You can tell your current sex partner you aren’t going to “squeeze” his dick with your pussy or your ass, as the sensation isn’t pleasurable for you, or can you lie to him. Tell him you’re squeezing your pussy/ass—you’re squeezing so hard—without actually squeezing your pussy/ass. Odds are good he’ll notice a difference even if you’re not doing anything differently, SPAR, so great is the power of suggestion. I had to write after reading your recent Savage Love Letter of the Day from a woman who spotted a friend’s husband on Tinder and didn’t know whether she should say something to her friend. My (single and tindering) friend has been mistaken for his identical (married and nontindering) twin brother more than once on the app. They live in Seattle and Los Angeles, and so most people in their lives don’t realize they have a twin. My friend has freaked out his sister-in-law’s friends by popping up on their Tinder feed. It came out after the sister-in-law posted a photo of the twins together on social media and multiple people expressed extreme relief that her husband was not a cheater but an identical twin! Deluded Acquaintances Needed Answers Thanks for sharing, DANA!

December 1 - December 7, 2016


BY ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): A journalist dared composer John Cage to “summarize himself in a nutshell.” Cage said, “Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” He might have added, “Avoid the nutshells that anyone tries to put you in.” This is always fun work to attend to, of course, but I especially recommend it to you Sagittarians right now. You’re in the time of year that’s close to the moment when you first barged out of your mom’s womb, where you had been housed for months. The coming weeks will be an excellent phase to attempt a similar if somewhat less extravagant trick.

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): Hundreds of years ago, the Catholic Church’s observance of Lent imposed a heavy burden. During this six-week period, extending from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, believers were expected to cleanse their sins through acts of selfdenial. For example, they weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays. Their menus could include fish, however. And this loophole was expanded even further in the 17th century when the Church redefined beavers as being fish. (They swim well, after all.) I’m in favor of you contemplating a new loophole in regard to your own self-limiting behaviors, Capricorn. Is there a taboo you observe that no longer makes perfect sense? Out of habit, do you deny yourself a pleasure or indulgence that might actually be good for you? Wriggle free of the constraints. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): “The Pacific Ocean was overflowing the borders of the map,” wrote Pablo Neruda in his poem “The Sea.” “There was no place to put it,” he continued. “It was so large, wild and blue that it didn’t fit anywhere. That’s why it was left in front of my window.” This passage is a lyrical approximation of what your life could be like in 2017. In other words, lavish, elemental, expansive experiences will be steadily available to you. Adventures that may have seemed impossibly big and unwieldy in the past will be just the right size. And it all begins soon. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): “I have a deep fear of being too much,” writes poet Michelle K. “That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I am a hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidated by my muchness.” Given the recent astrological omens, Pisces, I wouldn’t be shocked if you’ve been having similar feelings. But now here’s the good news: Given the astrological omens of the next nine months, I suspect the odds will be higher than usual that you’ll encounter brave souls who’ll be able to handle your muchness. They may or may not be soulmates or your oneand-only. I suggest you welcome them as they are, with all of their muchness. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): “I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow,” wrote naturalist Henry David Thoreau in Walden, “to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines.” I’d love to see you summon that level of commitment to your important rendezvous in the coming weeks, Aries. Please keep in mind, though, that your “most important rendezvous” are more likely to be with wild things, unruly wisdom, or primal breakthroughs than with pillars of stability, committee meetings, and business-as-usual. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): For you Tauruses, December is “I Accept and Love and Celebrate Myself Exactly How I Am Right Now” Month. To galvanize yourself, play around with this declaration by Oscar-winning Taurus actress Audrey Hepburn: “I’m a long way from the human being I’d like to be, but I’ve decided I’m not so bad after all.” Here are other thoughts to draw on during the festivities: 1. “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone.” —Barbara De Angelis. 2. “The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be

December 1 - December 7, 2016

somebody else.”—E. E. Cummings. 3. “To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”—Sandra Bierig. 4. “We cannot change anything until we accept it.”—Carl Jung. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Are your collaborative projects (including the romantic kind) evolving at a slower pace than you expected? Have they not grown as deep and strong as you’ve wished they would? If so, I hope you’re perturbed about it. Maybe that will motivate you to stop tolerating the stagnation. Here’s my recommendation: Don’t adopt a more serious and intense attitude. Instead, get loose and frisky. Inject a dose of blithe spirits into your togetherness, maybe even some high jinks and rowdy experimentation. The cosmos has authorized you to initiate ingenious surprises. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): I don’t recommend that you buy a cat-o’-ninetails and whip yourself in a misguided effort to exorcize your demons. The truth is, those insidious troublemakers exult when you abuse yourself. They draw perverse sustenance from it. In fact, their strategy is to fool you into treating yourself badly. So, no. If you hope to drive away the saboteurs huddled in the sacred temple of your psyche, your best bet is to shower yourself with tender care, even luxurious blessings. The pests won’t like that, and—if you commit to this crusade for an extended time—they will eventually flee. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): Nobel Prize-winning novelist Gabriel García Márquez loved yellow roses. He often had a fresh bloom on his writing desk as he worked, placed there every morning by his wife Mercedes Barcha. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to consider initiating a comparable ritual. Is there a touch of beauty you would like to inspire you on a regular basis? It there a poetic gesture you could faithfully perform for a person you love? VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): “For a year I watched as something entered and then left my body,” testified Jane Hirshfield in her poem “The Envoy.” What was that mysterious something? Terror or happiness? She didn’t know. Nor could she decipher “how it came in” or “how it went out.” It hovered “where words could not reach it. It slept where light could not go.” Her experience led her to conclude that “There are openings in our lives of which we know nothing.” I bring this meditation to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect you are about to tune in to a mysterious opening. But unlike Hirshfield, I think you’ll figure out what it is. And then you will respond to it with verve and intelligence. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): A reporter at the magazine Vanity Fair asked David Bowie, “What do you consider your greatest achievement?” Bowie didn’t name any of his albums, videos, or performances. Rather, he answered, “Discovering morning.” I suspect that you Libras will attract and generate marvels if you experiment with accomplishments like that in the coming weeks. So yes, try to discover or rediscover morning. Delve into the thrills of beginnings. Magnify your appreciation for natural wonders that you usually take for granted. Be seduced by sources that emanate light and heat. Gravitate toward what’s fresh, blossoming, justin-its-early-stages. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): According to traditional astrology, you Scorpios are not prone to optimism. You’re more often portrayed as connoisseurs of smoldering enigmas and shadowy intrigue and deep questions. But one of the most creative and successful Scorpios of the 20th century did not completely fit this description. French artist Claude Monet was renowned for his delightful paintings of sensuous outdoor landscapes. “Every day I discover even more beautiful things,” he testified. “It is intoxicating me, and I want to paint it all. My head is bursting.” Monet is your patron saint in the coming weeks. You will have more potential

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LOVE, BELONGING SAFETY PHYSIOLOGICAL

Saturday, December 17th 6-10 pm $ 50 RSVP in Advance $ 65 at Door $ Children 6-17 25 Under 5 Free Anchorage Museum 625 C Street

Live Music & All Ages Entertainment Call (907) 268-8053 for Early Discount www.safetyhealthenvironmentalsolutions.com Bring a Generous Donation for a $10 Discount Help Those Less Fortunate This Holiday Season We Need Diapers, Formula, Warm Clothing, Bus Passes, First Aid Kits, Items for Physical Well Being & Personal Hygiene, Gift Cards like Subway or McDonalds

XNLV303560

Generously sponsored by

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December 1 - December 7, 2016


Anchorage Press 12/1/16