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ISS 32/JAN jan10.indd 1

23/06/2011 15:31

/ ISSUE 51 . AUG / 2011

FOR THE REST OF US A new era of Jack is coming…

Over the past few months we’ve been secretly tucked away at Who’s Jack HQ making some pretty exciting plots and plans for the future of Who’s Jack magazine and our online platforms. We can now reveal the results of our planning are three exciting new aspects that we’ll soon be launching under the Who’s Jack umbrella. The first of which is a brand new logo which you can already see on the front of this issue. Secondly, our existing website www.whosjack.org has been having something of a make over recently and we’ll be bringing you the new, improved, better-than-ever-before website in a matter of weeks. The site will not only look all sparkly and new it’ll also have a number of key differences and new features which we hope you’re going to love and that will help you feel an even bigger part of the Who’s Jack community. Lastly, we will also be launching a new website, WJTV, which will host video content from all the same subjects that we already cover within the magazine and online. Expect interviews, documentaries, behind the scenes footage from some of the cities biggest events, tour diaries, scripted programs and loads, loads more. If you like the sound of all of this, and we really hope you do, email us at whosjack@gmail.com to be in with the chance to be sent a special preview log-on so that you can trial the new sites and let us know what you think before they’ve even gone live.



8. Fashion For The Boys Bow Ties 10. Marshland Man Men’s wear fashion story 22. Jack Loves Scotch & Soda 24. Jack Loves Uniqlo & Jil Sander 25. Get That Look 90s Brit Pop 26. Some Like It Haute Our obsession with old and extravagant 30. Watch Me Paint Women’s wear fashion story 40. Fashion Pick Of The Month

42. Introducing Ben Howard 43. Review One Liners / Lesser Knowns 44. Holy Ghost Filling our LCD shaped hole 48. Attention All New Bands 6 things you don’t need, and some things you do 49. Kal Lavelle Winning competitions, going on tour and what’s coming next 50. Hugo : The Boy Without A Surname 54. Dave’s Band Picks 56. Music Pick Of The Month



58. Mark’s August Film Round Up The films you want to spend your money on this month 62. Utterly Monstrous A round up of the best and most shit monsters in film 64. I am Jack’s Brain Turning Off. Our new monthly feature piece from those boys over at Heyuguys. 66. Sex Drugs And The Silver Screen 69. Natalia Tena Whiskey , Harry Potter and what’s next 74. Film Pick of The Month

76. Artist Introductions Mario Wagner 79. Art Spotter Jake Or Dino’s Chapman 81. The Process : Raven Smith 82. Art Pick Of The Month

LIFE & LONDON 84. Beauty : Skin Deep The brands catering for all colours of skin 88. Bigger Cities : Montreal Georgina takes a trip abroad 90. Perks and Perils Tamlin talks life, this month mustaches 91. Esme Riley The perils of mid-week drinking 92. Dating A fond farewell 94. Life and London Pick Of The Month



Editor : Louise O-F louise@whos-jack.co.uk

Dept Editor : Laura Hills laura@whos-jack.co.uk

Film : Mark Williams mark@whos-jack.co.uk

Contributor: Jon Lyus

Contributor: Amie Corry

Contributor : Joe West

Music : James Lynch james@whos-jack.co.uk

Film Online : Matt Hamm matt@whos-jack.co.uk

Layout: Jack Walker

Stylist: Rickardo Maxwell

Dating : Georgina Childs

Make Up: Luke Stephens

Music : Charlie Allen

Styling : Faye Heran faye@whos-jack.co.uk

Art: Eleanor Davidson

Styling : Jo Bevis jackstylist@gmail.com

Music: Rory Broadfoot

Columnist : Tamlin Magee

Columnist: Esme Riley

Potographer : Harriet Turney

Contributor music : David Macnamara www.andeveryonesadj.com

Contributor : Matt Bass

Photographer : Tracer Ital

Photographer: James Lincoln

Photographer: Barry Macdonald




Cover Image : Tracer Ital Want to see your work in Jack? Contributions : contributions.jack@googlemail.com The Jack-Father : Edward Fitzpatrick //

Whether you are a band, a brand, a designer or simply want to tell us about something, get in touch. General enquiries can be sent to: press@whos-jack.co.uk, contributions can be sent to: contributions.jack@googlemail.com, finally, advertising enquiries can be sent to: magazine@whos-jack.co.uk.

Who’s Jack Magazine is part of a range of platforms that all come under the company Who’s Jack Ltd. This is the magazine and it is a monthly glossy both in print and online that covers art, fashion, film, music and general London and life. We aim to be attainable just as much as we are aspirational and never to talk down to our reader, you. We are what you’ve been waiting for.

Who’s Jack Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part with out the permission of Who’s Jack. The opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of Who’s Jack. Who’s Jack Ltd can not be held responsible for any breach of copyright arising from any material supplied. Who’s Jack, 93 Barker Drive, Camden, London, NW1 0JG

Who’s Jack also likes a good collaboration, event or campaign. We can work with you or for you. Get in touch.

Jack Loves You More.



Camden Blues Kitchen: 111 - 113 Camden High Street, NW1 7JN www.theblueskitchen.com The Old Queens Head: 44 Essex Road, Islington, N1 8LN www.theoldqueenshead.com The Hawley Arms: 2 Castlehaven Road, NW1 8QU www.thehawleyarms.co.uk The Lexington: 96-98 Pentonville Road, N1 9JB www.thelexington.co.uk The Keston Lodge: 131 Upper Street, N1 1QP www.kestonlodge.com The Lock Tavern: 35 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8AJ www.lock-tavern.co.uk Shock and Soul: 46 Essex Road, Islington, N1 8LN www.shockandsoul.co.uk The Westbury: 34 Kilburn High Street, NW6 5UA www.westburybar.com Rokit: 225 Camden HIgh Street, NW1 7BU www.rokit.co.uk LCB Surf Store : 23 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 7RU www.lcbsurfstore.co.uk Edinboro Castle: 57 Mornington Terrace, NW1 7RU www.edinborocastlepub.co.uk Joy: 21-22 Upper Street, N1 0PQ www.joythestore.com

Rough Trade: 130 Talbot Road, W11 1JA www.roughtrade.com The Electric Brasserie: 191 Portobello Road, W11 2ED www.electricbrasserie.com Mau Mau Bar: 265 Portobello Road, W11 1LR www.myspace.com/maumaubar Portobello Music: 13 Allsaints Road, W11 1HA www.portobellomusic.net Smash: 268 Portobello Road www.sandmcafe.co.uk Defectors Weld : 170 Uxbridge Road, W12 8AA www.defectors-weld.com Size? - (in London stores): 200 Portobello Road, Notting Hill, W11 1LB www.size.co.uk

SOUTH Bar Story: 213 Blenheim Grove, Peckham, SE15 4QL Bullfrog: 20 Greenwich Church Street, SE10 9BJ www.bullfrogs.co.uk The Rest Is Noise: 442 Brixton Road, Brixton, SW9 8EJ www.therestisnoisebrixton.com Joy: Clapham Junction Station, SW11 1RU www.joythestore.com Banquet Records: 52 Eden Street, Kingston, KT1 1EE www.banquetrecords.com

EAST Paper Dress: 114-116 Curtain Road, EC2A 3AY www.paperdressboutique.blogspot.com Vintage Store: 182 Brick Lane, E1 6SA The Lazy Ones: 102m Sclater Street, E1 6HR www.thelazyones.blogspot.com Beyond Retro: 110-112 Cheshire Street, E2 6EJ 58-59 Great Marlborough Street, W1F 7JY www.beyondretro.com The Book Club: 100 Lenard Street, EC2A 4RH www.wearetbc.com Beyond Retro: 110-112 Cheshire Street, E2 6EJ 58-59 Great Marlborough Street, W1F 7JY www.beyondretro.com Behave: 14 Hanbury Street, E1 6QR LCB Surf Store: 121 Bethnal Green Road, London E2 7DG www.lcbsurfstore.co.uk Rough Trade East: Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL www.roughtrade.com The Victoria: 110 Grove Road, Mile End, E3 5TH www.thevictoriae3.com Junk: Old Truman Brewery, Grey Eagle Street, E1 6QL Elbow Rooms: 97-113 Curtain Road, EC2A 3BS theelbowroom.co.uk Bar Music Hall: 134 Curtain Road, EC2A 3AR www.barmusichall.co.uk Rokit: 101 Brick Lane, E1 6SE www.rokit.co.uk Rough Trade: Old Truman Brewery, Grey Eagle Street, E1 6QL www.roughtrade.com Absolute Vintage: 15 Hanbury Street, E1 6QR www.absolutevintage.co.uk GShock Shop: Old Truman Brewery, Grey Eagle Street, E1 6QL www.g-shock.co.uk Smiths of Smithfield: 67-77 Charterhouse Street, EC1M 6HJ www.smithsofsmithfield.co.uk (weekends only)

CENTRAL Beyond the Valley: 2 Newburgh Street, W1F 7RD www.beyondthevalley.com 55 DSL: 10A Newburgh St, W1F 7RN www.55dsl.com Chateau Roux: 17 Newburgh Street, W1F 7RZ www.chateauroux.co.uk Tatty Devine: 44 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9EP www.tattydevine.com The Sun and 13 Cantons: 21 Great Pulteney Street, W1F 9NG Candy Cakes: Monmouth Street, WC2H 9EP www.candycakes.com Size? - (in London stores): Carnaby Street, Soho, W1F 7DW www.size.co.uk Size? - (in London stores): 37a Neal Street, Covent Garden, WC2H 9PR www.size.co.uk Fopp: 1 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LL www.foppreturns.com Mint: 20 Earlham Street, WC2 H9LN www.mintvintage.co.uk Sanctum Hotel: 20 Warwick Street Soho, W1B 5NF www.sanctumsoho.com The Hospital Club: 24 Endell Street, London, WC2H 9HQ www.thehospitalclub.com Beyond Retro: 58-59 Great Malborough Street, W1F 7JY www.beyondretro.com Sanctum Hotel: 20 Warwick Street, W1B 5NF www.sanctumsoho.com Joy: 1620170 Wardour Street, W1F8AB www.joythestore.com Volcom: 7 Earlham Street, WC2 9LL www.volcom.com Joy: 11 The Market Building, Covent Garden www.joythestore.com Rokit: 42 Shelton Street, WC2 9HZ www.rokit.co.uk Wesc: 53 Neal Street, WC2H 9PR wesc.com Miyson: 3 Lowndes Court, off Carnaby, W1F 7HD www.miyson.com

Also with online orders of Urban Outfitters : www.urbanoutfitters.co.uk See an up to the minute list of stockists online, if you would like to stock Who’s Jack contact: press@whos-jack.co.uk All stockists have magazines delivered once a month in the first week of each month. We would advise getting to stockists early as they go quick.

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Photo: Vincent Skoglund

Featured colorway




Available in 14 colors:

Feature 3.5mm standard microphone and remote.

www.urbanears.com hello@urbanears.com



James Lynch

James tries to dress the male and this month hopes to bring some class and sophistication to the area just under the chin.

There are some items of clothing that will ever be synonymous with a certain era or even perhaps a particular person. For instance, flares and bright floral patterns belong only to the 60s Hippie movement and I would challenge any man who isn’t or wasn’t Elvis to try and pull off a sparkling, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit. There are obviously more extreme examples out there, such as the suit of armour or even Superman’s cape. But there is one staple of a true gentleman’s wardrobe however, that has started to break out of its velvet-lined box. The bowtie was once the preserve of The Ratpack, style-challenged 50’s movie geeks or begrudging uncles at weddings but this is thankfully no longer the case my friends. The bow tie is being transformed from a stuffy piece of formalwear necessity and slowly becoming the neckwear of choice for any discerning man and any desirable occasion. I can almost guarantee that wearing a subtle bow tie to a job interview would be a great idea, not only scoring you fashion points from the girls in the office and respectfully envious nods from the boys but it will also be a lovely little something for your prospective employer to remember you by, assuming they don’t remember you because you were any good and they actually want to give you the job. As for a Saturday night on the town, in a bar or inevitably slumped in the gutter after being thrown out of your taxi, there is no better way to dress up that boring man-combo of shirt and jeans than the bow tie. The trick with wearing the bow tie well is to steer as far away from formal attire as possible, while still making some allowances, for example; you will need to wear a shirt (of any kind) because wearing a bow tie around a bare neck at

the best makes you look like a very pathetic Chippendale or at the worst a tad insane. Although the good news is that any shirt will do. Go for checks, stripes or plain colours and mix it up with flannels, cottons and denim if you are really feeling brave. As for the tie itself, it really is up to you but as previously suggested, shy away from formalwear designs in satin finishes and dark colours because you may just end up looking like you want to get your money’s worth from having to hire a tuxedo for your grad ball. Simple and bold block colours are the safest bet and probably what you will get most wear from but unfortunately they are also boring, I mean if you are going to do something then do it right… that’s what my Mum always says and I’m not going to start disagreeing now! So, to please my mother might I suggest going for patterns or prints on your bow tie and then wearing it with a shirt of either clashing colour or design. Take your inspiration from American brands such as Ralph Lauren and Gant and go for preppy diamonds, some stripes or even a lovely old-fashioned paisley effect. Paul Smith currently have some rather romantic heart designs on the go and for the really flamboyant out there, Topman is (surprisingly) the place to go. They have some amazing floral and cherry prints and also a limited edition run of a rather cute teddy bear pattern and what makes it all better, they are all only a tenner each! One word of warning however is to make sure that you buy the ready-tied, clip around versions because learning to tie a bow tie is bloody hard and you will definitely look like a fool if you have one but can’t do it up…














JACK Loves


mterdam based, Scotch and Soda may be known mostly for menswear but you would be foolish not to look at the label for womenswear. The brand make, among other things, perfect fitting jeans and amazing basics that look anything but basic when worn. The brand is still a relatively new one having only been set up in 2001 and the womens collections only coming in to play last year. You can find Scotch and Soda stocked in a number of places including Urban Outfitters and they also boast an online store. All Scotch and Soda’s clothes have a comfort to them, the scarf that you will steal off a friend because it is softer than your own or the jeans that you will borrow and never return are what most of their garments remind us of.

Soft cotton shirts, massive scarves and a newly launched demin range are just a few of the reasons why this brand is worth your time. Rich in detial Scotch and Soda like to produce high quality garments at an affordable price point with a lot of inspiration being taken from vintage and classic styles www.scotch-soda.com

h c t Sco & A D O S




niqlo team up with Jil Sander for a winter collection later this year that will be hitting stores soon. A small preview of what can be expected has been released including these two images. The collection seems to be full of strong lines with visable sportwear-meets-outdoors influences in a range of dark greens and charcols. This is further proof that the mens wardrobe this winter is going to lean more towards smart than casual as we start to see the pathetic amount of sunshine we have had this year fade into our sludgy winter. Other items to be found in the collection are V-neck jumpers, shirts and hooded jackets. Watch out on www.whosjack.org for news of when the full collection is available.


JACK Loves

GET THAT LOOK 90’s Britpop


e have seen a huge re-surgence in that Britpop look lately, certainly due to the re-grouping of serveral pivotal 90s Britpop bands including Pulp and Blur. This is a tricky one to get right as get it wrong and you will look like a 90’s chav, get it even more wrong and you will look like a lager lout stuck in the 90s. So how do we get it right? The key is to remember the basics and improve on them. Buy a pair of jeans that are not skinny, find a sports jacket that’s not shiny and don’t include a Kangol hat. Our suggestions to win on the 90s Britpop look are below.

Clockwise from top left : Lee Gilles Striped Polo T Shirt £25.00, www.purple-oval.co.uk | Para Jumpers Kodiak Olive Coat £595.00, www.coggles.com | puma archive track jacket, www.shop.puma.co.uk | Acne denim shirt, www.my-wardrobe.com/Acne | Loose fit jeans, Lee DAREN, www.lee-store.com, £87.00 | Long sleeved baseball shirts, Gap, £16.00, www.gap.eu | Fila Vintage puffa, www.fila.com |


By LĂŠan Collins

Models were draped in sheer ~ floor length confections in shades ~ of white and beige.

As models sashay down the catwalk of French couturier Stéphane Rolland’s presentation at the V&A, the audience is hypnotised by the couture creations on show. Dresses are made of velvet so luxurious some spectators have to restrain themselves from reaching out in front to touch them and silks so pure they glimmer like gold dust under the blinding spotlights. It is not hard to get the appeal of couture; extravagant, intricate, captivating, expensive, opulent – these are just some of the words that spring to mind when reminiscing on that magical show. Of course, reminisce is all that can be done because haute couture (‘high sewing’ literally) does not come cheap. A simple blouse can fetch in excess of £10,000 whilst an evening gown may cost upwards of £50,000. But, prices aside, there is another reason why many a couture admirer, have a look-but-don’ttouch attitude when it comes to couture, and that reason is wearability. For decades couture has been the pièce de résistance of fashion design. From its beginnings in 19th century Paris where it was pioneered by Englishman Charles Frederick Worth, nicknamed the ’father of haute couture’, to John Galliano’s fantastical creations at the helm of Dior. The couture arena has always been seen as a playground for fashion design’s greatest talent, allowing them the creative freedom to produce the most extraordinary garments that the imagination can dream up. Couture represents the very excess of the fashion industry, with a hierarchical system set in place that ensures an impossibly high standard of design and execution. Traditionally, couture is not the type of clothing designed to afford the wearer ease or practicality. In the second half of the 19th century, when haute couture was at its height, European royalty and international dignitaries flocked to Worth’s studio in 7 rue de la Paix to be adorned in his silk and satin creations. So complex was the task at hand that clients often had to attend numerous fittings over a series of weeks in order for one gown to be completed. And no expense or extravagance was ever deemed too much with many of Worth’s designs incorporating the most intricate embroidery and the most delicate lace.

Over the years it would seem that the cost and impracticality of couture has led to its decline in popularity and subsequent closure of many a famous couture house. The House of Lanvin withdrew from haute couture in 1993 while in 2002 Yves Saint Laurent retired from the world of fashion design, taking his couture house with him. All of this leads one to question if haute couture is just a dying art or if it does have any real purpose in 2011? It was reported earlier this year that several luxury brand CEOs had indicated that couture was not only worthwhile but it was a flourishing sector of the fashion industry and most importantly it was profitable. Some argue that the only real purpose of couture nowadays is as a marketing tool for selling a brand’s more affordable products such as accessories, perfume and cosmetics. Designer Oscar de la Renta was recently quoted as saying, ‘today the houses that make haute couture don’t make couture to sell couture, they make it to sell other products. They do extravagant collections that no one wants to put on, and they sell perfume, cosmetics, and lots of other things – but they are not selling couture.’ De la Renta makes a valid point. After all, couture is not made for the masses. Its aim has always been to offer the wearer a garment that is borne of skill, technique and care. More recently however couture has been less about the extravagant collection that de la Renta described above, but one that will stand the test of time and therefore offer value for money to the wearer. And no collections demonstrated this more than the recent A/W Couture shows in Paris. At Valentino designers Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli demonstrated simplicity when it came to the cut and shape of their garments, yet the house retained its couture status in the luxurious velvets and glittering sequins used on its dresses. At Azzedine Alaia fabric use was also key to the collection with python skin coat-dresses, fur lined skirts and a lot more velvet. Alaia’s designs were a more obvious homage to the couture of yesteryear, with bell-shaped skirts reminiscent of the bustle skirts of the Belle Époque and nipped-in waists to accentuate the body

in a way that only Alaia knows how. At Chanel the classic tweed suit made its usual appearance, this time modernised with tweed boater hats, famously revolutionised for women by Coco Chanel in 1908. It was at Givenchy however that the true spirit of modern day couture really shone through. Models were draped in sheer floor length confections in shades of white and beige. At first glance the designs appear refined, demonstrating an understated elegance, but upon closer inspection it is the exquisite workmanship that really steals the show; layers of tulle adorned in crystals, rosettes and dégradé beading. For Ricardo Tisci it appears no stone was left unturned. Yet despite all of the painstaking embellishment not one of Tisci’s designs warranted the ‘couldn’t wear it in real life’ statement that is so often associated with couture. Tisci managed an extraordinary feat: combining the ethereal with the wearable. The ability to create a garment to couture standard without compromising any of its wearability is perhaps why 21st century couture is recently enjoying a boost in sales. British designer Antonio Berardi was recently quoted as saying “Some designers are a bit afraid of the idea of couture because they think, shouldn’t we be more modern? Should we be looking at the past? Should it be fantasy? Designers are afraid to show fantasy because they feel that the general public is looking in and thinking, this is not utilitarian enough, it isn’t wearable enough.” Fantasy was certainly on show in Paris but it was a more down-to-earth fantasy, one that the fashion designer and fashion lover could both appreciate. John Galliano famously said in 2009 “of course I’m aware of the credit crunch but it is not a creative crunch”.This in essence sums up couture’s place in the fashion industry today. An outlet for the greatest fashion designers from Jean Paul Gaultier to Giambattista Valli to Lagerfeld at Chanel, couture remains fashion’s fairytale world. These days, however, with a shift in wearability, this fairytale is fast approaching a reality.



WATCH ME PAINT Photographer: Natalia Salminen Hair & Make-up: Louise Goodson Stylist: Morgane de la Grange Model: Alice French at Cosmic models











Pierre Hardy 2011 Fall/Winter Low Top Sneaker Pierre Hardy makes trotter covers for both men and women and this, one of their latest offerings for their fall/winter collection instantly caught our eyes. Suede is everywhere at the moment in clothing so why not give your feet a bit of the love? Pierre is best known for his signature patterned trainers and collaborations with labels such as Kitsune drawing attention to the collections. This grey low top shoe can be found at Restir.



Yuketen Maine Guide Strap Boot Yuketen, if you have not yet heard of the brand, is the creative baby of a certain Yuki Matsuda who has been working tirelessly with artisans to give a new and always novel twists to American footwear classics. These boots in particular are based on the moccasin worn by hunters in the north east of America. www.restir.com

Miu Miu Brings Out Noir Shades When Miu Miu brought out their fall collection full of 40s inspired styles these sunglasses followed. Like a sweet shop of sunnies the lenses are pink and orange and surrounds are clear and boiled sweet like. Perfect to brighten up a dreary fall afternoon. The sunglasses as you might have guessed have a very strong film noir influence continuing with the popular retro cats eye shape that we have been seeing time and time again on runways throughout this year. Shades are, two shades of tortoise shell (pink and blue lenses), glittering ‘saffron’, fire engine red, clay and basic black. Find the shades at Net-a-Porter www.net-a-porter.com/Miu_Miu

Forever 21 From Catwalk To Cover If you’re a budding designer, this show could be a great help to you. Looking at how a designer goes from the sewing machine to the front cover of an influential fashion magazine the From Catwalk To Cover event at the Fashion and Textile Museum. The designers journey is shown through a series of candid images taken by the photographers backstage and front row at sm both small and large shows. www.ftmlondon.org

Forever 21 has just launched on Oxford Street and it is set to put a major thorn in a few people’s sides, namely New Look and Hennes we guess. With prices that are almost all under the £20/£30 mark and some great styles in tops, outer wear and accessories it is worth a visit to the first store in London. The American brand caters for women only currently and brings some much needed Americana fashion to our shores, the likes of which have previously been avaliable when paying extortionate shipping charges and waiting a month for anything to turn up. www.forever21.com/uk

Mishka Watches Mishka, the New York watch brand have brought out a series of four new plastic watches that remind us an awful lot of Swatch in shape but that have some great illustrations on the faces. The options for the faces are taken from some of the most popular graphics from the brand. The watches come in a black coffin case and are retailing at $60.00 (about £37) online. www.mishkanyc.com


Editorial Booker - Model Agency A top agency is looking to recruit an editorial booker for their womens new faces division. tonymartin@martinmedia.co.uk Product Fit Coordinator - Harvey Nichols Harvey Nichols is seeking a Product Fit Coordinator to coordinate all aspects of the fitting process for new uploads onto their website. headoffice.jobs@harveynichols.com




You won’t like my music if you...

don’t like guitars and drummers who can play bass at the same time.

I am… a musician. I grew up in... Devon, nestled between the moors and the sea.

My childhood was mainly...

Blunt. Hmmmmm.


and skiving school.

The three words I’d use to describe my music are... passionate and acoustic. That’s it.

I mainly write about...

myself and


My big break in music came when... I started playing the guitar.

I’ve been writing songs since I... started playing the guitar.

The first song I wrote was about...

a friend of mine who was involved in an accident and had a pretty rough time.

I find inspiration from... mostly people who care about what they do. I would describe fans of my music as... the cleverest people in the world! In the next few months I will mainly... be sitting in a field

drinking tea and playing a few special shows for Barefoot Wine’s beach rescue tour.

You will like my music if you... like things done with a little love.

The best review I could ever read about my music is... I sound like James The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is... to always be yourself because if you change who you are you get hung up on what people think.

My motto is... Go big or go home. You can next come and see me live in London at... Scala in October. The one thing you need to know about me is... buy me a bottle of whisky and you can find out whatever you want.

I couldn’t make music without...

the band I’ve got at the moment. They are my favourite people in the world. www.benhowardmusic.co.uk

BIN: Brother Famous First Words

“Right guys, everyone’s got their hair freshly cut into a tangled bowl-cut mess with a fringe last seen on Paul Weller before Style Council? And we have our skinny jeans on that finish before the ankle? Cool, also, we all remembered our retro Fred Perry polo shirts and waterproof macs that we wear at all times, whether it’s raining or not? Great, oh and sunglasses too? Brilliant. So now we’re dressed do you reckon we should concentrate a bit more on making decent, original music then?” www.acidlove.net

BIN: The Wanted Glad You Came

I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit that I enjoy a good boy band when they come along and at first The Wanted, despite their blatantly narcissistic name, seemed to have it all; a nice blend of heights, haircuts, skin tones and accents but then they recorded this monstrosity which seems to feature (and I cannot believe I am about to type these two words together) an electronic accordion along with some less worrying but equally as questionable lyricism… now I just don’t know. www.thewantedmusic.com

BURN: The 2 Bears Bear Hug EP

The 2 Bears are not the politically correct single parent-version of the 3 Bears after Daddy Bear ran away with Goldilocks, leaving Mummy Bear to raise baby Bear on porridge and bitterness but are instead Joe Goddard from Hot Chip and DJ Raf Rundell who make gloriously retro 90s dance sounds, which sounds a bit like the Stereo MCs but without the heroin chic look and with more beards and bear costumes instead. www.the2bears.co.uk

Music Review One Liners

James Lynch


BURN: Chase & Status Hitz (Feat. Tinie Tempah)

Hitz is another slice of heavy beat action taken from the DnB super duos current album No Idols and features bespectacled tea-lover Tinie Tempah rapping about The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Vaseline and other inane stuff while Chase and Status scratch around on the decks like an overenthusiastic 11 year old bedroom DJ… in anyone else’s hands this would be a lazy album filler but somehow they manage to turn it around into another chart-bothering big beat behemoth. www.chaseandstatus.co.uk

BOOM: Psychologist Propeller EP

The ambiguously titled Psychologist is the latest dubstep-inspired artist to fuse the shattering drums and disparate basslines of the genre with a more classic songwriting sensibility but unlike sexy sleazemasters The Weeknd or the moody but mumfriendly Jamie Woon, Iain Woods (to give him his proper title) crafts some surprisingly emotional and disturbing odes, with his slurred lyricism standing out from the dark and harsh electronic sounds… it basically sounds like a computer developing a soul and recording it’s first inquiring pleas to the world. www.psychologistmusic.com


esser Known

Kyla La Grange Strong off the back of the success of Ms Florence and her veritable hit making Machine comes Watford’s very own dark pop folk-rock act Kyla La Grange. Her smooth-yet-scratchy vocals remind me of PJ Harvey drinking a glass of strong Kate Bush, with rousing walls of sound and a jet black shot of the dramatic. www.myspace.com/kylalagrange Download: Been Better

BOOM: Chiddy Bang Peanut Butter And Swelly Mixtape

Philly hip-hop troublemakers Chiddy and Xaphoon Jones return with more teasing hipster brilliance before dropping their first album proper, featuring guest spots from Mac Miller and Casey Veggies along with samples lifted from Martha and The Vandellas and Matt and Kim, Chiddy Bang craft all these elements and more into a 15-track showcase that never sounds lazy or half-hearted and hints that their elusive long player looks set to be an eventual masterpiece. www.chiddy-bang.com

Matt Hamm

Howler In the words of Will Ferrell’s Mugatu ‘they’re so hot right now’. Minneapolis born and bred, Howler walks in the shoes of The Drums, Vaccines and Strokes; armed with neat, sunny garage rock tunes as well as a sizeable Rough Trade brand mark still sizzling on their sure-to-be-the-toast-of-2012 backsides. www.myspace.com/howlerjams Download: ‘You Like White Woman. I Like’

Josh Osho If bedsitting in South London gave us a voice as smooth as silk like Mr Osho, then we’d be burning our tenancy agreement in a steel bin right now. The young Londoner is causing quite a stir in the right circles a la Ghostface Killah and with a beautiful voice that is an unplugged John Legend meets Seal, it’s no surprise. www.joshoshomusic.tumblr.com Download: ‘Dance With The Devil’

Holy Ghost ! - Filling Our LCD Hole

Now isn’t it nice when you listen to a song for the first time and despite your surroundings, you have this overwhelming urge to sod everyone close by and bob your head about like a brain-dead nodding dog? Are you with me? Perhaps. Well anyway, that’s basically what happened when I first listened to Holy Ghost! Although that’s probably not the most descriptive review of their music, it will have to do for now, because otherwise I’ll end up spouting some neanderthal nonsense along the lines of: ‘they’re very good’ or ‘they make me smile.’ Suffice to say, their songs appear to be capable of rendering me a babbling infantile mess of adulation. I’m not sure if that’ll be the same for all listeners but personally I’m just a sucker for sexy disco-pop. ‘Sexy Disco Pop’ is an appropriate tag line, since that’s basically what they are; a New York based duo, signed to the ultra-chic DFA Records making disco influenced pop music, which is, you guessed it, pretty sexy. They’ve supported LCD Soundsytem on tour, remixed Moby and MGMT, and have also worked with the near-legendary drummer Jerry Fuchs. Basically they’re a little bit like Chromeo but I don’t really get the feeling that their fans will be the sort of post hipster ’I-like-this-musicironically-because-it’s-slightly-campdo-you-like-my-mustache?’ fans that I’ve seen at Chromeo shows. Having said that, even now as I write this, the idea of sticking on their record, donning a false moustache, and engaging in some aggressive tempo-synched crotch thrusting doesn’t seem too outlandish, although that may be an infringement on British Library rules. Yes, that’s where I am now. words : Charlie Allen | images : Stuart Leech



I recently had the pleasure of having a chat with half of the band (Nick), and what a delightful fellow he is. Oh, and before we go any further and just for the record the exclamation mark at the end of their name is mandatory, I’m not just adding it for emphasis. Holy Ghost! is comprised of Alex Frankel and Nicholas Millhiser. In near autobiographical detail, Nicholas assures me that everyone calls him Nick ‘except my late grandmother who sometimes called me Nicholas and my late grandfather who only called me ‘Cholly Boy’ for reasons that have never been explained to me.’ He continues, ‘I grew up on the upper west side with my parents Virginia and Timothy who had wonderful taste in music and encouraged me to take drum lessons from my grandfather’s friend Eddie Locke who was a great man and a wonderful teacher. When I was 10 my grandparents bought me a drum set and my friend Alex - a piano player - and I began playing music together shortly thereafter.’ It is pretty clear that this was the start of something special and of course... ‘Many years, bands, and music obsessions have passed since then and currently Alex and I write and produce, record, remix and play live under the name Holy Ghost!’ And there we have it kids! Thankfully my take on their musical output doesn’t seem too far from the truth as Nick describes it as ‘pop music that is influenced primarily by a variety of, mostly older, dance records we love.’ He tells me a few of his favourite records; ‘Tango In The Night’ by Fleetwood Mac, ‘Illmatic’ by Nas and ‘Check Your Head’ by the Beastie Boys.

None of these are disco tracks, and I want some disco info so ask who would win in a fight between Nile Rodgers and Donna Summer, ‘Nile! Of Course’ he says. Good man! The thought of scoring a recording contract is something that bands always aspire to, and the idea of signing to James Murphy’s DFA records would obviously be attractive to thousands of artists. It sure as hell doesn’t happen every day but it seems it helps if you start off as a rapper. ‘Many moons ago, Alex and I were one third of a rap group called Automato which was a band we started in high school with a group of friends. Upon graduating we signed a big fancy record deal and set about looking for someone to help us make what would be our first and only LP. A year into that process we met two up and coming record producers and soon to be record label owners named James ‘Jigga’ Murphy and Tim ‘T Diddy’ Goldsworthy who worked under the name ‘The DFA.’ After Automato broke up we all remained friends, I started playing in The Juan Maclean and we both kind of stuck around playing on a variety DFA productions while they and their label became a pretty big deal. When Alex and I started working on new music of our own James and Tim said ‘This is cool. We’ll put it out.’ Alex and I said, ‘that sounds great!’ thus concluding what was probably the longest business meeting we’ve ever had with our record label. The rest, as they say, is history.’ I hope you’re taking note bands, three easy steps; rap - friends - profit! Speaking of rap, it is very obvious that there is a big hip-hop influence throughout Holy Ghost!’s album, particularly on ‘Hold My Breath.’ I ask Nick which artists are responsible for this, ‘oh, lots and lots. Alex and I grew up dissecting rap records to the point of absurdity. Some of our favourite and most picked over producers are Pete Rock, Primo, Hi Tek, RZA, and the late, great J Dilla just to name a few.’ Now I’m totally out of my depth here as my hip-hop knowledge is totally minuscule but by the look of it, this dude knows his stuff. I know a tiny bit about remixing though and remixing is a big part of what Holy Ghost! are about. Like many of our musically minded readers I’m always trying to remix stuff, usually with disastrous results so am keen to find out how the pros do it. Nick summarises: ‘They’re never really ‘planned’ per se but we always listen to whatever song we’ve been asked to remix a bunch before we say yes, so that when we actually sit down to start we have some starting point/idea. But it’s different for each one. If there are vocals and the vocals are good, we build around that. If there are no vocals to work with we look for another element that seems like it would be interesting to re-contextualise in some way.’

I highly recommend checking out their remix work, it’s all over youtube.

stressful and unrewarding, but its generally fun and seems to work for us.’

After watching several videos and interviews with the guys it’s clear that they’re big fans of vintage equipment. I must warn you now though readers that the following text to many of you may be mindless technological wankery, so will denote when it’s over with a large asterisk, like this * so you can just skip it all. But for those of you, including myself, with an interest in record production, this will be a joy. Their enthusiasm for gear becomes very apparent when I ask Nick what particular pieces of equipment they couldn’t live without. ‘So many. We have a hard time working completely in the box (on computers), so a decent studio with a nice desk and decent collection of outboard gear is a must, generally speaking. But as far as specifics, here are a few...

Obviously it would be impossible to not mention the live aspect of their music making and Nick assures me that he loves both DJing and playing fully live, although he says ‘They are TOTALLY different things and I could never pick one over the other.’ They’re about to play the Identity Festival, which is a large touring festival appearing at twenty cities across the US with various dance acts including Skrillex, Rusko and Pete Tong. I ask Nick where he’s looking forward to playing the most, excluding his home town. ‘We are playing near Pittsburg which is where my mom is from and her whole side of the family lives so I’m excited to see them and have them to the show. I’m pretty sure that none of them have ever seen me play, DJ, etc. I think they’re a bit confused about what I do for a living.’

NEUMANN TLM 193: ‘A great, versatile microphone that doesn’t cost as much as a car. We use it for all of Alex’s vocals, kick, snare, guitars, whatever. It’s pretty great for anything and everything.’

He tells me they’re not due to play the UK any time soon which is a shame, but assures me that when they do come there may be some fireworks involved. They do play in New York pretty often though. I know very little about New York though, so wrap up our conversation by asking about Pizza and Bagels.

DBX162 and/or 165 compressors: ‘Another amazingly versatile piece of gear that we use for vocals and drums primarily. They make shit sound ’tuff’ as we like to say. We have currently been writing new stuff at The DFA studio which has 6 (!) of them. We use them all.’ YAMAHA CS80: ‘This is something we had been hunting for for literally almost ten years and I just recently found and purchased from an amazing dealer named Sam Masuko in New Jersey. We own a lot of synths, and have played plenty more and the CS80 is, by far, the most incredible, wild and musical keyboard ever made. It’s almost unfair to call it a synthesizer. Thus far, it has been used on every new song we’ve worked on since we got it.’ *To summarise what you’ve probably just skipped, they are cool as fuck. In terms of writing the songs, it seems to be quite a complex undertaking, but it’s clear that the dynamic between the two of them is very important: ‘It’s a long process of bouncing ideas off of each other. Lately we’ve been starting things together in the studio by just picking a tempo or a feel and going from there. Usually I’ll start by tracking some drums, then Alex and I will noodle around on keyboards or he’ll sit at the piano and I’ll play bass and we come up with a basic groove. From there he or I will just start adding bits and pieces until our ears get tired or one of us runs out of steam and one will pick up where the other left off. We usually keep going like this until we’ve made a big mess that we are both happy with or we reach a point where neither of us know how to take it any further. Its a long, weird process that’s kind of hard to explain and some days are

Here’s a brief transcript: Me: ‘What’s your favourite sandwich/bagel filling?’

47 Nick: ‘bagels and sandwiches are very different things. Anyone who makes a sandwich out of a bagel isn’t from New York and certainly doesn’t have any respect for either sandwiches or bagels. That said, I like scallion cream cheese on my bagel or if it’s REALLY super fresh and still hot from the oven, just a touch of butter. I like a wide variety of things on my sandwiches but bacon and jalepenos seem to make mostly anything better.” Me: ‘Who would you say does the best Pizza in New York? I’ve heard mixed things and am determined to find the answer. I can tell you that in London it’s the Gourmet Pizza Company on Southbank or Pizza East in Shoreditch.’ Nick: ‘These are tough questions. Asking a New Yorker his favourite pizza place is like asking someone their favourite movie. I can’t pick just one, but my current faves are Motorino and La Nona here in Brooklyn.” He also tells me his favourite musical note is D Flat (or C Sharp). Now I’m almost certain that none of the above incongruous rambling has helped you decide whether or not you’re going to like Holy Ghost! but give them a listen and I challenge you not to get naked and dance. The debut album ‘Holy Ghost!’ is out now on DFA Records.

NEW BANDS 6 THINGS YOU DON’T NEED If you think about it really, why in 2011 would any band in this green and pleasant land wish to be signed to a record label? I don’t want to sound glib or dismissive of the ambitions of others, but really when you think about it, what logical reason could anyone have for committing their life/livelihood/creativity to a major corporation, in exchange for... I’m not even sure what? words : David Macnamara

I’m writing this article, having recently interviewed a young majorly-labelled band, I won’t name names because... well I’m a massive fraidy cat, and I’m worried if they read this, they’d come and beat me up, but there was so, so, so many things that annoyed me about them, and so, so, so many obvious things that they were doing wrong, that the more that I thought about them, the angrier I got. Not angry at myself, I mean I’m a placid dude, but here was this perfectly good electrician, or civil servant, or estate agent... wearing sunglasses at night, telling me about ‘being real’, and here I am getting so worked up about the fact that some record label, a fuckin’ major one at that, has actually paid cash money to this cretin. Anyway, I got so worked up about it, I lost all ability to use full stops, and the only explanation, or at least root cause for this anger, and sheer disdain I felt, was all because idiot bands, sign ridiculous record deals, thinking they’ll be swimming in a guitar-shaped swimming pool by this time next year. I’ll make this as clear as I possibly can. If you are in a band just starting out, here are a list of things you will and won’t need for the first 12 months of your existence.

1. A manager (book your own gigs, anyone wanting to be your manager, has got no talent and just wants your money) 2. A PR (don’t be ridiculous) 3. A photoshoot (for what? The cover of your tour programme?) 4. A 7” single (your songs are shit, it would be a waste of a perfectly good candle) 5. A pair of sunglasses (unless you’re blind) 6. A fuckin’ business card! Here are a list of things you will require for those first 12 months: 1. A rehearsal space. Or at least a place to rehearse (for rehearsing) 2. A heater (for heating) to keep that rehearsal space warm as you will be spending many a long hour in there. 3. A clear idea of what and who you want your band to represent (for your own identity) 4. A pen and paper to write your songs, and then a bin to put every version of each song in until you have crafted something that is original, authentic, creatively stimulating and inspiring to a listener and will justify to yourself the countless hours you have spent in that

rehearsal space. (Unless you’re Rainman and can remember everything you do). And finally the commitment to give everything up and make the most of what you have, to be so sure that this the only thing you were born to do, while also having the guts to stand up one day and admit that YOU were wrong, that this was all a folly, and the only reason you are not swimming in a guitar shaped pool, has nothing to do with a shit review, or a bad distribution deal, or misfortunate timing of someone else’s release, or the mood of the nation drastically changing following a tragedy that shakes the country to it’s very core and you simply got lost in the ensuing tsunami of grief, but merely that when you were sitting there in that freezing rehearsal space, pouring your heart out on a piece of paper, that you were wasting your time, because what you were doing was no better than every other fuckin’ idiot sat in every other freezing rehearsal room. If you happen to be at that point of your journey towards getting signed, then well done. Now all you have to worry about is winning the lottery.

words : Laura Hills | images : Tom Bunning

Kal Lavelle


Irish singer Kal Lavelle is a fine example of how bags of talent, knowing the right people and being in the right place at the right time is an unparalleled recipe for success. Dublin born Kal is currently on tour with man-of-the-moment Ed Sheeran after the singer asked her to join him on his sold out dates, she has also previously played support slots for the likes of James Brown and The Beach Boys. Since starting the tour with Sheeran, Kal has noticed interest from both fans, twitter followers and the music industry grow and is just about to put out a single with Artful Dodger who is making his return to the music scene with a track she recorded the chorus for called Could Just Be A Bassline. The single is set to put Kal’s name both in the charts and in the minds of everyone who listens to the radio and looks to be the start of a very promising career for the singer/song writer. We met up with Kal on one of her rare days off from Sheeran’s tour to find out about the girl who we think, is about to blow...

‘This will be my third year doing music full time,’ says Kal when we meet at a pub in Covent Garden for a drink and a chat. ‘I’ve been writing little ditties since I was 10 but I only started to realise I could make this my full time career a few years ago.’

‘..to win that competition made me start to think that maybe I could do something with my talent’

When Kal speaks of making little ditties I get the impression she doesn’t mean the childish rhymes kids make up with their friends in the playground? ‘No, I was way more complex than that. One of my earliest songs was about a solider coming home from war, looking back it was way too deep for someone so young!’ Kal’s passion for music came when, as luck would have it, she won a thousand Irish pounds in a Mars Bar and spent the money on her very first guitar and a

washing machine for her mum. It was at the age of 14 when she won a local singing competition that she realised she could have a real talent. ‘To beat everyone else to win that competition made me start to think that maybe I was quite good and could do something with it so I finished school and started a two year course at Rock School which is basically the Irish equivalent of Brit School.’

Spending the next few years studying music around like minded people helped the then 17 year-old Kal to perfect her song writing and music making techniques however she also says she picked up some surprisingly bad habits along the way. ‘We spent a lot of time studying the technical side of music so when I left I found myself picking music apart, I was becoming too concerned with how I thought music had to be made and it took some of the fun out of it for me,’ she says. ‘I had to basically remind myself that real music isn’t based on a formula but on emotion and feelings. If you become too concerned with the method behind the music it becomes too contrived.’

Now Kal spends her time penning emotive folk music which has won her accolades for having the ability to make ‘tear jerking’ and ‘heart wrenching’ songs that have the ability to resonate with pretty much anyone. Writing about real life ups and downs including the obligatory songs about the break down of a relationship her tracks have touched people enough for them to approach her to express how much the lyrics mean to them. ‘I have a song that appeared on my last EP called Disaster which is about me breaking up with someone. I’ve had people come up to be after shows and tell me that the song made them cry because they’d been through exactly the same situation and that means so much to me,’ explains Kal. ‘Growing up I was the biggest Damien Rice fan, he makes music that instantly touches people and that’s what I really want to be able to do, I want my music to connect to people.’ As mentioned before Kal has recently been touring with her friend Ed Sheeran. It is a tour that has seen her music reach a huge amount of new people and has seen her achieve the feat of winning over Sheeran’s fans who have taken to the social networks to heap praise on the singer over the past few months. A quick skim read of what gig goers have been saying about her on Twitter is proof enough that word is spreading about her talent and that people are finally ready to

pay attention to her music. ‘The tour has done wonders for my profile,’ she smiles. ‘I wasn’t sure how Ed’s fans would feel about me at first. A lot of them are pretty young and they’re obviously super excited about Ed coming on stage and my music can be quite slow and quiet so I wasn’t 100% sure I’d be able to keep their attention but the response I’ve had so far has been lovely. The tour is such an amazing opportunity for me to play amazing venues all over the UK, it’s opened up a lot of doors for me.’ One of the doors that Kal may be referring to is that of the guest vocals she’s done on the new Artful Dodger track which, at the time of writing this, had been picking up radio play across the country allowing Kal, yet again, to reach a brand new fan base for her music. ‘Working with Artful Dodger has been great, we did a photo shoot for the single together the other day which was fairly surreal. Could Just Be The Baseline is quite a different sounding song for me but I think that’s a good thing, it’ll hopefully show people what I’m capable of.’ Fans of Kal’s and any Finsbury Park residence will probably already know that she also runs a live music night in the area at the Worlds End pub every Sunday called We Love Sundays. The

night see’s not only herself but some of her friends and the countries brightest young live talents taking to the microphone, ‘I wanted to start the night to give performers the chance to play live. When I first moved to London I had to work hard to get myself in with the right promoters so that I could play gigs and get my music out there and now I want to be able to offer the same opportunities to other singers.’ As well as looking after her fellow singers Kal has the release of the Artful Dodger track to look forward to on the 15th of this month and is also planning to eventually put together a follow up EP to her last release, a five track EP called Shivers. ‘I’d like to put together a longer EP or an album but I need to find the time to sit down and write new tracks for it. At the moment I think I’ll concentrate on getting more exposure for Shivers and then when I’ve done all I can do with that I’ll start work on my next release. I also want to go on my own tour,’ says Kal. ‘It’s been great touring with Ed but I’d love the chance to head off on tour on my own too. To headline my own tour would be an absolute dream for me.’ And with a talent like hers and her ever-growing fan base we’re sure it won’t be long until that dream becomes a reality. Shivers is now available from iTunes and Artful Dodger Ft Kal Lavelle, Could Just Be A Bassline is released on 15th August.

~ End ~ HUGO The world may not know it yet, but it’s been targeted by the keen eye of a man, a man who has played holes and dives all over the place but still managed to come out looking pristine, dapper and smelling good. Well if there are any prerequisites for Jay – Z’s Roc Nation label, those would be on the list. World, meet Hugo. Hugo, I think you already know the world… Words: Ben Welling Pictures: Matt Perkins


a small room in west London with too many curtains for too few windows sits Hugo (he probably has a last name too). Trilby, neck scarf, shiny shoes and a look that says you may not know me yet, but you will. Those of you who have seen the movie ‘No Strings Attached’ may recognise him from his cameo as a bar singer but one of Hugo’s most notable career achievements to date is having his song ‘Disappear’ snapped up by a hit hungry Beyonce on her international best selling album I Am Sasha Fierce. As you’d expect, this caught the attention of the musical mogul Mr Z who instead of purchasing a few more songs, signed the library itself. Hugo describes this as ‘reigniting a failing career’. ‘I first got in to music listening to stuff from the 60’s and 70’s,’ remembers Hugo. ‘It’s still pretty hard for me to escape my fascination with that period, which then lead to a pretty obsessive interest in the blues and American roots music in general.’ For all that the clean-cut façade conjures, Hugo is a down and dirty blues lover at heart. ‘It’s almost a traditional thing for white English guys to be obsessed with black American music’ he says. ‘I really went for it on a couple of my songs. Howlin’ Wolf is a big influence’. His musical career began early and where one would expect it to, on a holiday with the parents in an Australian hotel. ‘I was about 11 and I sung Peggy Sue with the bar band. I hung around in the hotel bar and watched them do their set every night, by myself, drinking ginger beer’. Start as you mean to go on? Perhaps not. Hugo seems to know his stuff where the blues is concerned but the music he makes takes elements from numerous places and uses traditional guitar lead blues music as a platform for something else. ‘I was hoping that adding some 808 drum loops and some serious sub to the songs would keep it relevant,’ he says. This is evident in his rendition of Jay Z’s 99 Problems which has so far been enjoyed by well over one million people on Youtube. His version fills the room with White Stripes-esque stomping drums, banjo’s and a guitar/harmonica straight out of a Stones number. ‘The song came about as a result of getting signed to the man’s label and I thought it would be an act of gratitude to record, or at least allude, to his work,’ Hugo explains. Hugo, it seems is a thoughtful chap too. Let’s hope Chico doesn’t start a label and sign him next… ‘I had two of Jay Z’s albums before I even got into the music industry, Reasonable Doubt and The Blackout and I thought it would be a good statement of intent to slap people about the face a bit and go, ‘well lets sing one we all know.’’ His take on the song really portrays a love of blues and rock, with a serious tinge of Jack White thrown in for good measure. ‘Because [the original] has a Rick Rubin

(The Mars Volta, RHCP, Linkin Park etc) production on it, it’s already heading towards rock and roll and that’s what I liked so much about the track. If some kind of link between Blue Grass, Mississippi Delta and hip hop could be made then I thought it would be an interesting one to make.’ Since signing on the dotted line, life has sped up somewhat for Hugo and with one of the biggest names in music taking care of business he’s begun to focus on living the dream. His first attempt at a recording contract ended after four albums, with his band Siplor in Thailand where he grew up. Hugo describes them as ‘a hick band with a mission’ whose charge against ‘the man’ resulted in a couple of their records being banned on the radio. ‘I’m lucky, so far I’ve got to tour the states, which has been a dream of mine for a long time and drive around in a van playing all the honky tonks and bars along the way. Then I finally got to pick all the songs from the last five years and record them in a really nice studio with time and focus. That was great,’ remembers Hugo. ‘The first time around, when I got my first deal, I may have been a bit in awe of the business aspect and too willing to bend over backwards to get my music released. I learnt a lot from that experience and through dealing with the devil I’ve got the purity of purpose back,’ he says before continuing. ‘The story is always the label verses the artist but you both want the same thing and I think any artist who pretends that they don’t want to sell a shit load of records and tour the world is lying and it’s self sabotaging for fear of success. The great thing for me about getting to go to America is that ambition is celebrated, maybe to the point of making English people a little uncomfortable but it’s an optimistic place and I think ultimately that’s a good thing.’ Although the world has knocked on Hugo’s door been let in and then descended with it hand in hand into the sunset, London is still home and still holds some of his favourite hangouts. ‘I’ve only performed at a few places in London but I love the really wagon wheely place near Denmark Street – The Borderline. It’s just so cool and unpretentious. I also went to see Boy George at The Pigalle recently and that was very cool, you sit down with little lamps on the table and get these really old school Humphrey Bogart vibes.’ With London shows on the cards very soon, it seems even Jay Z is feeling the pinch with Hugo having to petition to get his backing band over to complete the line up and the sound. ‘I love playing with a full band. What’s important for the record and for me is getting that low end across, it just makes it stand. We’ve been playing together for over a year now and I’d like to inflict some of that heavy sound on the British public and see what they make

of it. The one thing about Americans is there’s so much booty in the way they play which is great.’ But life wasn’t always vans and bars for the singer. ‘We had a few run in’s with the law which were pretty hairy. Also, one of the guys in the band has a brother in the forces so we went out into the desert with a bunch of automatic weapons, which was pretty sweet! We had a load of big paper Zombie Nazi’s as targets and we certainly showed them what for with no one around for miles and miles.’ That’s how I’d assume the US army trains anyway. ‘ Having been on the road for so long in the States, most of the time seems to have been spent jammed in a van with dudes and then in dives with those same dudes so it’s no wonder Hugo is so relaxed on home turf. ‘I think I’m going to give the touring a rest for a while as it’s important to stay limber and not over do it,’ he says. ‘You have to stay alive. I’ve survived the past 27 years which is a watermark for any artist to make it past,’ he says in reference to the ’27 Club’ which includes Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison and, just a few days after this interview took place, Amy Winehouse, who all passed away during their 27th year of being alive. ‘Now I just have to make it into my mid thirties! I’ve been doing some pretty intense vocal coaching so to stay on top of it I just have to stay as sober as possible for as long as possible. If it’s the first time someone is seeing you, you have to nail it, you can’t assume they know anything about you. Particularly in the age of the internet and YouTube, I don’t think you can even get away with doing a bad show anymore. You can’t keep referencing the same stuff either, rock and roll was always such an inclusive and diverse scene and drew on blues, country and soul but now it’s become a genre all of it’s own and that’s not enough. You’ve got to keep it interesting, you’re never going to reinvent the wheel but as a performer and song writer you should endeavour to make something that has a life of it’s own.’ Change is the one thing that is a certainty for Hugo. ‘It’s the one thing that stays the same, that I’ll be living somewhere else next year or I’ll be trying to figure out how to keep my life, my family life and my sanity intact.’ Says Hugo He is obviously on the brink of something big with some serious supporters and the world at his feet. Only time will tell how the latest signing to Roc Nation’s army of hit makers will fare so watch this space for a smart looking gentleman who’s aim is to build musical bridges and get you signing along with him as he does it.



DAVE’s Band Picks

(terrible title for a column.) words: David Macnamara

Death Grips I downloaded the Death Grips mixtape, inadvertedly as I thought I was getting something COMPLETELY different. What I was expecting was a lush chillwave collection to ease me into slumber. What I ended up with was an abrasive, angry, aural cock in the ear! Death Grips are a hip-hop collective from California. They’ve just dropped a frankly astounding mixtape, that pushes boundaries further than my tiny mind can comprehend. It’s extreme and intense, reminding me of what might happen if Alec Empire and Kool G Rap (you might know him off the opening track of UNKLE’s Psyence Fiction record) ever got it together and made a record. There’s not a huge amount of info on Death Grips out there, what I can find, is that their sound is orchestrated mostly by Zac Hill, drummer for Sacramento hardcore noise rockers Hella, only adds to the mystic of what is a really fascinating project. Download Ex-Military at www.thirdworlds.net

WATERS WATERS, or Van Pierszalowski, since it’s a one man effort is the man behind the very un-Google friendly moniker. I saw him support the very great Wye Oak a couple of weeks ago, spending most of the headliners set annoying those around me as I kept talking about what I’d seen before. **sorry** Van (that looks a bit odd, but anyway), formerly of Californian indie rockers Port O’Brien, has a record due out in September on City Slang, which fuses fuzzy, pealing guitars and drums that sound like they’ve been recorded falling down a stairwell, with deliciously warm melodies. The record has a sparse, stripped Nordic feel, which is odd, since it wasn’t recorded in Van’s hometown of Olso, but in Dallas with John Congleton on production duties. John’s done similar work with Explosions In The Sky and The Walkmen, so you can sort of see his fingerprints all over it. Check out more from WATERS (Note the CAPITALS!!) at www.facebook.com/waterswaters

Blood Orange I’m not 100% sure this can be classed as new music, as it’s the latest offering from sometime solo artist, and former Test-Icicler Dev Hynes, but we’ll let it go for the time being. Dev has upped sticks and moved over to New York, where he’s been slowly crafting away on a few projects alongside Blood Orange, which is now gradually reaching the masses, having been drip fed in over the past 18 months. A single, Dinner, which doesn’t appear on his ‘debut’ Coastal Grooves, came out in April, and now an album is done, dusted and ready to pop in the next couple of weeks. Recorded in LA, it doesn’t have quite the same sheen and finish as Falling Off The Lavender Bridge, and instead explores more electronic and even disco influences, but with the same sort of lonely, forlorn melancholia that you can often associate with Dev’s vocals. Check out www.bloodorangeforever.tumblr.com for a load of mixtapes, and pictures of a girls changing room.

∆ We’ve finally used up all the available letters in the alphabet and we are now using symbols. That little purple man did it years ago, but for a new band....well it catches the eye. ∆ or Alt-J as they are occasionally known (if you’re using a Mac right now, you’ll get the joke) are a four-piece who met at Leeds Uni, and have spent the last 2 years grafting away at their sound, in a dank basement. They used be known as Films, but I think ∆ looks way cooler on a t-shirt, and that as we all know, is the true sign of a good band name. Comparisons to Villagers and Elbow make them a tasty prospect while their set up is nothing if not inventive, making up for a lack of cymbals, they simply substitute them with an old frying pan. Well necessity IS the mother of invention. Download their free EP from www.soundcloud.com/ alt-j

Gigs This Month Ben Howard 10.09.11 : Bestival, Isle Of Wight

Kyla La Grange 10.09.11 : Bestival, Isle Of Wight

Kal Lavelle 17.09.11 : Southsea Festival, Portsmouth

Slime Will Archer, aka Slime, is a 19 year old producer, originally from Newcastle, now based in London. His recent EP, Increases, opens with a strange sort of mix of everyday noises, like walking down a corridor into a room with a radio on kinda everyday, before morphing into a rich, bass-heavy, innocent yet eclectic piece that calls to mind early Badly Drawn Boy. Since moving down to London, Archer has been working with Vondelpark, who put out the great Sauna EP in October, and they have collaborated on a track called 2 Player, which has a haunting, vocal, but a drum beat that is so inviting, it’s akin to a trail of sweets into the back of a van. The EP as an introduction will leave you longing for more. The mix between electronic beats, samples and then live instrumentation make for a fascinating combination, and I’m really looking forward to hearing more. Check out more from Slime at www.soundcloud.com/ slime-music

Gross Magic 10.08.11 : The Shacklewell Arms, Dalston, London, E8 2EB

The Alpines 16.08.11 : Old Blue Last, Great Eastern Street, London 23.08.11 : XOYO with CSS, London

Laura Marling 14.08.11 : The Wilderness, Oxfordshire (solo acoustic) 21.08.11 : Green Man Festiva 4.08.11 : End of the Road, Dorset

The Drums 5.09.11 : Hoxton Bar & Kitchen, London, UK 6.09.11 : Lexington, London 7.09.11 ; XOYO, London

The Vaccines 23.08.11 : The Forum, London 26.08.11 : Reading Festival 27.08.11 : Leeds Festival

Gross Magic Gross Magic is Sam McGarrigle. Worra G! He’s only gone and made the bloody bestest EP I’ve heard this summer. Teen Jamz, which you will be able to buy in one of them there record emporium thingys, comes out....2 whole days after this very magazine hits newstands, and if you know what’s what, you’ll be purpley vinyl’d up the wazoo, the day it comes out. Teen Jamz is joyous, in a horns, choirs and squlechy bass kind of way. It reminds me at times of the Polyphonic Spree, MGMT, Supergrass, The Go! Team and a load of 70’s Kids TV shows that never existed. Sweetest Touch is the track you’re mostly likely to hear on the radio, but the real gem for me is Can’t Ignore My Heart, a synth-and-fuzztone’d-guitar belter! It’s that good, I’d hug a stranger at a festival if I heard it.* *I NEVER hug strangers at festivals. Check out Gross Magic at www.thesoundsofsweetnothing.bandcamp.com/album/teen-jamz-ep

The Lonsdale Boys Club 20.08.11 : V Festival 24.08.11 : Underground Festival, Guildhall, Gloucester WEBSITES Ben Howard : benhowardmusic.co.uk Holy Ghost : www.myspace.com/holyghostnyc Kal Lavelle : www.myspace.com/kallavellemusic Hugo : www.Hugoofficial.com



Jay Reatard Re-issues Terror Visions Exclaim have reported that the Jay Reatard album, World Of Shit will be reissued this November. This is the only album from Reatard’s punk project, Terror Vivions. Earlier this year, in May, Teenage Hate had a similiar reissue. World Of Shit will be re-released by the original record label who put it out the first time, FDH Records. It will be released on 180 gram vinyl with a gratefold cover and will include everything Terror Visions has ever recorded, as well as two previously unreleased tracks, one of which being a Brian Eno cover. www.fdhmusic.com

MIA releases, 27 Demo For Amy As everyone clammers to tell one another how they were close to the tragicly ended singer MIA joins in by quickly uploading a track called 27 onto her Soundcloud. We have our own view on this but we will allow you to make your own mind up.

Top Of The Pops Set To Return To Telly?

Damon Albarn previews DRC Music project Damon Albarn has made up DRC Music, a collection of producers who have taken themselves off to the Congo to produce an album for Oxfam. During the week long trip they decided that a full length studio album would be made. Now you can hear streaming of a little taster of what that album (Hallo) will be like as it has been posted on Tumblr. The music clip finds Albarn, producer Dan the Automator, XL label chief Richard Russell, and London DJ Darren Cunningham (aka Actress), among others, joining with Congolese band Tout Puissant Mukalo. The currently untitled LP is being made to benefit Oxfam’s work in the DRC. www.drc-music.tumblr.com



We are well aware that the 90’s are back upon us with a re-emergance in both boy and girl bands, a growth in manufactured music in general and some lovely bright colours and pantaloon trousers creeping their way back into the shops and our lives. So surely it would only seal the deal of time travel backwards to bring Top Of The Pops back to the BBC. Five years on from when the last episode aired the BPI chairman, Tony Wadsworth has stated the need for the show to return. Wadsworth said to Music Week, ‘we are not saying ‘bring back TOTP’ but there is a gap, and the BBC is missing a trick by not having a show.’ Lauren Laverne has agreed with this statement saying that she agrees there is a gap but any new show to come forward on the BBC would need to be altered a large amount to cater for the audience of today which is a notoriously hard one to please. Whether a chart based system would still work is a difficult one too what with anyone being able to see at any point where tracks and albums are in charts with a simple Google. We also wonder whether the dancers will stay, we hope they would. However don’t get too excited just yet as a BBC spokesman said: ‘We are constantly in discussion with the music industry, but there are currently no plans to bring back Top Of The Pops.’ However we know that these telly types like to keep things close to their chests so just becuase they say its not being looked at... it doesnt mean it isn’t.

Product Manager - Sunday Best Independent record label Sunday Best Recordings is seeking an experienced Product Manager to join their team in central London. sarahbolshi@sundaybest.net Radio Plugger -Domino Records Domino is looking for an experienced radio plugger to join its expanding in house radio dept. vacancy@dominorecordco.com




Not sure what to see at the cinema this month? Well worry not, because we have picked seven of the best films out in August, which will most likely keep you quiet for a couple of hours, and give you an excuse to munch a box of popcorn bigger than your head without feeling the slightest pang of guilt. It’s a well known fact (although not scientifically proven) that you can’t get fat on cinema food, because it’s all so artificial and processed that the calories which are present in real food just don’t apply.

The Devils Double

words : Mark Williams


Cowboys and Aliens

In A Better World

Project Nim


The Skin I Live In - 26th Aug www.sonyclassics.com/theskinilivein

The first collaboration in over 21 years for director Pedro Almodóvar and his hat kind of animal would one-time regular Antonio Banderas, The Skin I Live In is the story of a brilliant produce the sort of milk that then surgeon who attempts to create a new, goes onto become the toxic orange improved kind of human skin. Banderas plays surgeon Robert Ledgard, whose cheesey goop they plop on top of wife died 12 years previously after the pieces of warm cardboard called suffering horrific burns in a car crash, in nachos? Think that multiplex hotdog this Spanish tale of obsession, anxiety and family secrets. is made of actual meat? Think again. Ledgard is driven by the memory of that pain and suffering to engineer a new That’s just a mixture of old ticket form of skin that would be impervious to the kind of assault that killed his wife. To stubs and whatever they sweep achieve this, he has a human test subject off the floor after the film finishes, called Marilia. However, Marilia is not an ground down to a paste and passed entirely voluntary guinea pig and is being kept in the surgeon’s house against through a sausage making machine. her will. It is a classic drama-thriller in the So, it’s therefore logical to assume Almodóvar mould, with a dash of horror bubbling away under the surface. that if it’s not real food we’re Super 8 - 5th Aug cramming into our face-holes, then www.super8-movie.com there can’t be any real calories can When some children are making their there? own movie on Super-8 film in 1979, and a train derails near where they are filming, it comes as a shock to them and the small Ohio town they are from. But, shortly

after the crash strange things begin to happen, such as people going missing, and all the dogs of the town running away. It soon becomes apparent that that wasn’t just any old cargo train that derailed, but something of much greater significance. Directed by J.J. Abrams, Super 8 is, in part, a tribute by Abrams to the kinds of films he grew up on, that were directed by the producer of Super 8, Steven Spielberg. Films such as The Goonies and E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial have clearly been a big influence on Super 8. And not just because the film’s central characters are a group of children, but because it has that excited sense of adventure into the unknown that made a film like The Goonies such a classic, iconic piece of so many peoples childhoods. Cowboys and Aliens - 12th Aug www.cowboysandaliensmovie.com Something of a movie-mashup, set in the old Wild West, but also featuring... you’ll never guess what... Aliens! Daniel Craig takes time out from being Bond to play Jake Lonergan, an outlaw who wakes up near the Arizona town of Absolution in 1873 with no memory of how he got there, but with a mysterious large metal bracelet shackled to his wrist. Harrison Ford is the Sheriff of Absolution, and just as cats and dogs will never be the best of

Super 8

The Salt Of Life

The Skin I Live In

61 friends, Sheriff’s and outlaws don’t tend to see eye to eye none too well either. Definitely falling into the big-budget, Summer spectacular category (the budget is around the $100 million mark), Cowboys and Aliens has all the required attributes of a great popcorn film, and it would seem that Harrison Ford is cool again, which is always welcome news! The Devil’s Double - 12th Aug www.thedevilsdoublefilm.com The Devil’s Double stars Dominic Cooper as the spoilt and wealthy son of Saddam Hussein, who, much like his father, feels he is in need of an identical twin version of his self for certain occasions. Set in Baghdad in 1987, army Lieutenant Latif (also played by Dominic Cooper) is summoned by Uday Hussein (son of Saddam) and given little choice but to accept his new life as a carbon copy of the psychotic and impulsive Uday. Whilst he already bears an uncanny resemblance to him, Latif must undergo plastic surgery to make the likeness near-perfect and study the mannerisms and behavior of Uday, in order to fully assimilate himself as the doppelgänger of a somewhat out of control, manic heir to a corrupt dictatorship.

Project Nim - 12th Aug www.project-nim.com A group of hippie scientists in the seventies set out to teach a chimpanzee sign language and raise it like a child, in this documentary from James Marsh, the maker of the superb Man on Wire. The chimpanzee, Nim (full name Nim Chimpsky, after Noam Chomsky, the prominent professor of linguistics) was raised by humans, up until the age of five, and taught how to communicate simple thoughts and feelings like hunger, or wanting to play. Of course, this is by no means a normal life for a chimpanzee, and so while many of the interviewees who lived with Nim at some point, did seemingly have the interests of science at heart, their methods and their desire for some sort of fame via a landmark breakthrough interspecies communication is sometimes questionable. The Salt of Life - 12th Aug www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the-salt-oflife Ageing retiree Gianni has come to the conclusion that the women in his life don’t take him seriously any more, and women in general don’t look at him in the same way they did when he was a young man about town. His wife makes him the butt of most of her jokes, his daughter

will fly off the handle at a moment’s notice, and he suspects that his mother is frittering away all the family money, but he is too much of a coward to do anything about it. Finding an ally in his daughter’s boyfriend, Gianni is determined to become less of a shambling old fool that no one pays any attention to, and more of an aged Casanova. Italy has a long history of social-realist films, and while The Salt of Life is a little too light hearted and comical to fit into that category, it is nonetheless and interesting exploration of what becomes of a man when he has retired and is feeling a lack of purpose or romance in his life. In A Better World - 19th Aug www.sonyclassics.com/inabetterworld In A Better World is a Danish drama which won the 2011 Oscar for best foreign film. It centres on the family of doctor who divides his time between his home in suburban Denmark and a refugee camp in Africa. It’s not your average commute, and as such, puts a strain on a family with two young sons, in need of guidance from their father. A beautifully shot and compelling story that draws parallels between the bullying one of the sons is facing at school, with that which the dad is facing in the refugee camp, and whether violence is ever the answer to violence.

UTTERLY MONSTROUS Without wanting to scare the more easily-shaken among you, there are a lot of monsters out there. There’s the dark, shadowy ones under your beds, the shrieking, sharp-toothed ones hiding in the wardrobe, and the cold, twitching, soulless ones that make X-Factor. But most of us have never actually seen any of them. So, the ones that we have seen are largely fictional and appear in films. Here we are going to take a look at some of the best film monsters out there, the fiends that leave you afraid to walk home in the dark afterwards, or are memorable for their completely unique approach to the serious business of terror. The only criteria to make it into out selection, is a real dedication to cause mayhem, murder and destruction. An American Werewolf in London, for example, he didn’t want to cause harm to anyone, but wasn’t in control when he transformed. No room for him here. Our true monsters have never even heard of the words compassion or sympathy, let alone exercised them!

Aliens (from Alien)

Badass Rating: 10/10 These armour plated creatures from outer-space are just all-out vicious. They either want you dead, or want to keep you alive so that one of the face-huggers can impregnate you through your mouth and let a small alien burst out of your stomach some days later. However, despite their undisputed killing machine abilities, they did have a bit of a blind spot for Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), who kept managing to escape, despite numerous opportunities to become dead.


Badass Rating: 9/10 So much so are Aliens and Predators considered the kings of modern day monsters that they have spawned a franchise of sequels which simply pit them against each other. The Predators hunt humans for sport, and supposedly have their own planet of Predators somewhere in the galaxy, from which they fly down every now and then for a little excursion. They have however, been vanquished by Schwarzenegger, Danny Glover and Adrien Brody. Arnie and Glover are one thing, but Adrien Brody?

Giant Ants (from Them!)

Badass rating: 3/10 Them! Is a 1954 sci-fi filled with classic cold war era paranoia about testing atomic weapons in the desert. The result of such tests is mutated, giant ants who create a system of nests underneath Los Angeles to serve their Queen. Now, some monsters really are a lot scarier when you only see bits of them or just have a sense of them lurking in the background darkness. The giant radiated ants of Them! are one such example of this, because when these large, furry, wobbly headed critters finally get the full reveal, they look about as threatening as an Andrex puppy.


King Kong

Badass rating: 7/10 Along with Godzilla, he is the grandfather of giant monsters. Although he does come dangerously close to being disqualified as he isn’t actually evil, but is driven to his destructive tendencies by man. But once he gets going he does cause rather a lot of damage, as a fifty foot gorilla will tend to do, climbing up skyscrapers and the like.

Badass rating: 6/10 She may be a Disney creation, but the wicked and powerful witch of Sleeping Beauty is not to be messed with. With the self-given title of ‘Mistress of all Evil’, she is not usually in the form of a monster but can turn into a massive dragon. Was voted Disney’s all-time, number one villain. That means she beat Ja’far from Aladdin AND Professor Ratigan from Basil the Great Mouse Detective...


Badass rating: 10/10 Godzilla and King Kong were the Alien and Predator of their day, having their own films to star in, but also getting together for the occasional rumble. Godzilla was born in Japan, out of the atomic radiation caused by the bombing of Hiroshima at the end of World War Two. As such, he is an enormous, dinosaur-esque lizard, with a powerful tail for destroying buildings, concentrated atomic breath and general imperviousness to whatever weapons the military might chuck at at him.


Badass rating: 5/10 Dennis is the assassin in Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie, hired by Plankton to prevent Spongebob and Patrick foiling his plan for world domination. He loses badass points on account of the fact that he fails in this task though, and is eventually thwarted by a combination of a catamaran and David Hasselhoff.

Badass rating: 7/10 Dracula is the subject of many a film on the lord of the undead. Through his own bloodsucking ways he has, over time, created many more like him who must drink the blood of unsuspecting victims in order to survive. Originally brought to us by the 1897 novel written by Bram Stoker and partly based on the medieval warlord Vlad the Impaler, we must not let a certain recent, angsty, teenage vampire film franchise convince us that vampires aren’t mean bastards. And Count Dracula is the biggest sharp-fanged bastard of them all.


Badass rating: 8/10 The primary bad-guy in the Lord of the Rings, Sauron wishes to see the races of men, elves, hobbits and dwarves all enslaved using the power of the titular ring. OK, so Sauron may just be a big disembodied eye at the top of a tower, but he does control all the other ne’er-do-wells in L.O.T.R, and as such must be considered a badass.

Badass rating: 6/10 Little Shop of Horrors is a musical-horrorcomedy gem of a film and Audrey II has to be one of the nastiest plants to appear in a film. The Triffids were pretty scary too, but they didn’t have the charisma of Audrey II, the man-eating, singing Venus Flytrap. As he sang himself ‘I’m just a mean green mother from outer space and I’m bad!’

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (Ghostbusters)

Badass rating: 2/10 Because he’s made of marshmallow and is fairly easily disposed of in Ghostbusters, Stay Puft is the least badass of our monsters, but definitely makes it into the collective in order to represent edible monsters. His death, resulting in a shower of warm marshmallow onto the streets of New York, would have been a sweet treat for all involved.


The Monster from the Id Count Dracula

Audrey II

Badass rating: 5/10 Another fifties sci-fi, Forbidden Planet, is responsible for creating The Monster from the Id, a Freudian beast that is composed of our own subconscious. In psychology, the Id is that dark inner part which we supposedly all possess somewhere, but manage to suppress in daily life. Which means the Id Monster has the potential to be pretty horrendous, but if you’re a placid sort with few inner demons, then it could be as meek as a kitten.


Badass rating: 7/10 Wizard A: My dark lord whose name shall not be spoken has no nose. Wizard B: How does he smell then? Wizard A: Terrible! Of course, if Voldermort, of Harry Potter fame, heard you telling that joke, he would probably hit you with ‘Avada Kedavra’, the killing curse, and you’d be one dead muggle.

Badass rating: 7/10 Jaws’ theme music alone is enough 63 to put most of us on edge, and Steven Spielberg’s Great White Shark put a good many off swimming in the sea for a long time. In fact, Spielberg probably did untold damage to the beach tourism industry. Simple in it’s goals, Jaws just wants to eat people, then eat some more people, and then, yep, eat some more people. But Roy Schneider wasn’t about to let all that people-eating go unchecked.


Badass rating: 10/10 Similarly to Stay Puft, the T-1000 is not all that scary to look at, but a great deal meaner than our portly confectionerybased friend. The antagonist of Terminator 2: Judgement Day, played by Robert Patrick is a largely silent, shape-shifting menace, and pretty much the most persistent killing machine you could ever hope to not have sent back in time from the future to kill you. Nothing stops it. Well, nothing except a huge vat of molten steel, but where the hell do you get your hands on one of those at short notice?

I AM JACK’S BRAIN ~Switching Off~

The spirit of originality is bleak and ~ corrupted and we as an audience are ~ undernourished

By some chance or grand design this month sees a cinematic face off between two of cinema’s most notorious directors. Ignoring the juggernaut of advertising for Michael Bay’s third Transformers film would necessitate walking around with your eyes closed and yet Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life enters the nations cinemas too with a vague and half hearted fanfare. While the films are perhaps playing to separate crowds there is a common link between them: you will have probably made your mind up which was for you. One is a narrative mess, with fragmented characters dwarfed by some outstanding visual effects and little discernible momentum carrying us from one plot point to the next. The other is Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Surprised? Let’s find out why... The difference is that Malick’s universe spanning meditation on life, love and loss has been lovingly poured over, imbued with meaning and is becoming an awards magnet while Transformers has been crushed under the critical heel, citing the almost complete lack of plot and a reliance on visual bombast to paper over the narrative cracks. Neither of these reactions is surprising - we know what to expect when we enter the cinema. Transformers has been enjoyed by audiences but destroyed by critics while Malick’s film won at Cannes and yet sees a release on fewer screens and has many online commentators noting a number of walkouts. What is more disconcerting is the argument made by those who enjoyed Bay’s third round of robots and explosions - ‘it’s just mindless fun’ or ‘it’s not meant to be Citizen Kane’ or troublingly ‘I just want to switch my brain off and enjoy it’. Perhaps people come to The Tree of Life with their brains switched on, just as they come to Transformers with them switched off, but this troubles me, and it should trouble us all. If you want to sit through a bad film for the sake of

familiarity then there’s no impetus for the studios to produce anything new; this is the perfect triumph of quantity over quality. The recent news that Johnny Depp is looking to sign up for another horizon grabbing adventure as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean 5 came as no surprise. In the business of show, a well known property capable of drawing the crowds irrespective of quality is the holy grail to the studios and when we look out at the cinematic landscape you see vast herds of bloated cash cows (with not a sacred one among them) taking up space on Hollywood Boulevard, heading for the nearest multiplex. Given that it’s incredibly rare to have a sequel better its predecessor what we have is an acceptance that the familiar is preferable to the new. With so many films thrown into production in the hope of spawning a money-making franchise the studios are unwilling to commit to new, untested projects and audiences will be coerced into being less likely to spend money on something they aren’t sure about. Critics have even said that despite hating the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film they would happily sit down and enjoy the fifth film. It makes no sense to me to champion a fifth film in a series that has reached a creative cul-de-sac simply because you enjoyed one of the previous four. Perhaps the answer is this. Like the Chinese government’s one-child policy studios should be limited to one film per property. You have one shot - just one. No more. You have a story? Great - tell it in one film. It would give the filmmakers the chance to tell new stories every time, and audiences would no longer be forced to choose between the slew of sequels.

stories while his next film, Mute, will be set in the same world as Moon but not be a continuation of that story. District 9 will not become District 10, Gareth Edwards is moving from his own Monsters to a far greater beast in Godzilla but the original remains untouched and rightfully so. We must accept that to truly love something we have to be able to let it go one day, and so with every new writer and director taking on a fresh project we will see more original visions in the cinemas. It won’t make the quality go up instantly, but it will force us to look beyond the obvious and that’s a start. The spirit of originality is bleak and corrupted and we as an audience are undernourished, fed on a regurgitated mixture of remake and reboot, sequels and prequels. There’s nothing wrong with any of those as long as the film itself is good but when a film is successful it automatically becomes viable for a franchise, regardless of the whether there is a story to be told. Whatever you choose to go to the cinema for - escapism, comfort, excitement, voyeurism or simply to stare into the abyss at 24 frames a second - each and every film is there to be enjoyed and the damaging nature of the Brainless Defence means that the chasm is widened between films like The Tree of Life and Transformers and it becomes a question of which side you’re on rather than is the film a good one or not. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never enjoyed a film older than 20 years, nor if the mere mention of Walt Disney has you reaching for the nearest copy of Nietzsche, as long as your mind is on, and open, there are untold riches out there. Ask for more, as opposed to more of the same, and we will all be rewarded. For those who look to the cinema as a place to switch off your brain, do us a favour - stay at home next time.

The new wave of sci-fi is a good example of the rewards this brings. Duncan Jones’ Moon and Source Code were distinct words : Jon Lyus www.heyuguys.co.uk


DVD Releases This Month Submarine

(1st Aug) Richard Ayoade directs the story of a young boy growing up in Wales, with a wonderful soundtrack from Alex Turner.

Hobo with a Shotgun

(1st Aug) Rutger Hauer is the eponymous Hobo, who has taken it upon himself to rid society of some of it’s ne’er-dowells

Meeks Cutoff

(8th Aug) A wagon-train of three families travelling through the Oregon desert encounter tough conditions and face some hard choices.

Source Code

(15th Aug) Jake Gyllenhall stars in this excellent time-bending sci-fi thriller.

words : Mark Williams

Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec

(15th Aug) French adventure film directed by Luc Besson, about Adele-Blanc Sec, an intrepid explorer and novelist.


ext time you are out at a club sharking about for a member of the opposite sex to ravish, or slipping like a greased fish through the sweat-slick crowds to find the right place to disgorge the swollen gourd of your bladder, pay close attention to your surroundings. Does the music dip low when you need to speak to someone? Is each toilet cubicle pristine enough to make snorting Charlie from the loo seat seem in any way glamorous? Do people on the dance floor part as you walk through as if you are Disco Jesus? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you are probably a fictional character in a movie. And a bad one at that. Get seriously worried if you wake up the next day sans any identifiable symptoms of a hangover and lying next to that coiffed creature you had your eye on. It’s probably time to look out for the camera and production staff arranged at the foot of the bed.

Sex, Drugs & the silver screen words : Joe West

Films have an interminable obsession with showing us what our late-night lives would be like if we had bottomless bank accounts, Armitage Shanks smiles and friends of equal or greater beauty/wealth/ talent. But there are some that set out to brandish the sword of honesty and the all-seeing eye of observation. Here, for better or worse, are the films that want to take you out on the town.

The Preparation Preparing for a night out is key and something that many movies tend to gloss over because it can be relatively dull. A montage of trying on dresses/ shirts usually gets the job done. But there are two teen movies which stray closer to the truth than most. The first is Kevin and Perry Go Large, a spin-off from the sketch comedy characters created by Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke back in the late 1990s. In its most memorable scene the objects of the horny teens’ affections,

two pimple-ridden girls, spend the best part of five minutes squeezing and bursting their pustules, removing excess hair and generally being disgusting in an ultimately successful attempt to beautify themselves for the final night out of the holiday. It is grossly exaggerated, but those who remember their teenage years will find it spattered with the effluent of truth. Standing before the judgement of the mirror in anticipation of a night away from the family home only to find that your complexion has erupted in a vulgar carpet of buboes is a common teen affliction. Finding the right collection of unguents, gels and elixirs to correct your blossoming imperfections and sculpt your exterior into something vaguely acceptable can be as much of an ordeal as enduring this scene without hitting fast-forward. The second movie to mention here is Superbad, a film which is almost entirely focused on the events leading up to a night out. It is the journey, as they say,

not the destination. In one scene the trio of oddball stars buy alcohol with a fake ID. The tensions and traumas involved in standing in front of a pokerfaced check out woman and trying to decipher her mood to see if she will actually sell you the four pack of Carlsberg/bottle of Lambrini are enough to put a lump in your throat. McLovin makes small talk about adding more hops to alcoholic lemonade is a vain attempt to seem older. It is delivered in a voice laced with the shiny squeak of youth and nervousness that should click with any male audience members who have ever been goaded into buying booze in the pursuit of a girl. The film descends into glorious, unrealistic silliness after this point, but has to be admired for its take on underage booze bartering.

The Club Most films get the interior atmosphere of clubs completely wrong, if only because to tell a story you need to be able to hear


the characters speaking to one another. A perfect example of in-club gibberish can be found in The Sweetest Thing, a ditsy, farcical portrait of three 20-somethings living in San Francisco. In it Cameron Diaz, Selma Blair and Christina Applegate visit a club which looks like a cross between a kids TV show and a strip club, with women encased in glass boxes to dance for the pleasure of God knows who while the lights are so bright and the music so soft that relatively subtle flirting can go on unhindered. What jars most about this scene is the trip taken by the protagonists to the female toilets, which in themselves are suspiciously un-grotty. Whilst the occupants preen by the mirror, strangers begin to ask for gropes of Applegate’s surgically enhanced breasts to see how real they feel. No one seems inebriated, the gropee is happy for multiple gropers to fondle her rack and it simply doesn’t reflect the kind of pants-round-ankles debauchery that Facebook photos prove girls must indulge in when trolleyed and toilet-bound. Maybe it is simply the case that things are different in America. If so 24 Hour Party People and its self-aware look at the ‘Madchester’ music and clubbing scene gives the closest cinematic approximation to a real life gig venue as understood by Brits. It proves that over the decades the experience of seeing bands play in dark, sweaty, beer-soaked rooms has not altered much, save for the distinct lack of camera phones during the period when Joy Division were banging on about the evils of love. At one gig in the film music promoter and TV presenter Tony Wilson, played by Steve Coogan, goes to the back of a fur-lined van in the car park to canoodle with a prostitute. This sounds superficially glamorous, but is tinged with a kind of Northern working class grimey-ness and English politeness that adds verisimilitude by the... well, by the vanload. His wife catches him in the act and promptly accosts one of his friends, dragging him to the toilet for vengeful intercourse of her own. Wilson comes in to find them splayed against a cubicle wall, casually asks his wife for the car keys and leaves. He walks past a cleaner who is dutifully mopping the floors of this starkly lit environment, a total contrast to the pitch humidity of the club beyond, and gives a polite goodbye to this menial worker. Not a traditional kitchen sink drama, but at least a little more realistic in its portrayal of night club atmosphere and the influence of intoxicants sold within.

The Sex Seth Rogen is an actor who can’t seem to avoid having inappropriate intercourse during films. In fact Zack and Miri Make a Porno was based entirely around this premise and Knocked Up was about the after-effects of a drunken liaison. However, it is in Observe and Report, an awkward, interesting film in which he

plays a troubled mall cop, where his on-screen coitus gets seriously creepy and perhaps closer to an unpleasant reality which must exist in the real world. Rogen’s date with Anna Faris’ makeup counter girl involves the pair heading out, necking shots and ending up in bed together. Faris passes out, pukes and seems almost lifeless as Rogen thrusts into her passive form. He shows partial contrition when he realises that she isn’t compos mentis, pausing only once to check on her condition, at which point she raises her head slightly from the vomit-stained pillow and asks, ‘why are you stopping, motherfucker?’ This brutally bats away the question of consent, hoping that the audience won’t delve deeper, instead requiring that you accept pseudo-rape in the context of this black comedy. It is perhaps a little less problematic than Jeremy Piven accidentally shagging a prostitute to death in Very Bad Things, but it’s not far off.

thoroughly British look at what people get up to after dancing like maniacs at a club. As soon as the action switches from the dance floor to the female characters trotting unsteadily home together, a lone violin plays mournfully. Back at the flat vodka bottles linger on the coffee table, fits of uncontrollable, spontaneous giggles break out and Sally Hawkin’s Poppy extrudes her gelatinous bust enhancers from her top and flaps them around gleefully. Surreal and childlike, this captures the way friendships can be at their purest in the calm after a raucous night out.

The Morning After

The Afterparty

Tea and toast with a side of guilt is a breakfast of champions for most people who can bear to face food after a particularly heavy night. Ewan McGregor’s Renton is put in a worse situation than most when he wakes up to find that he has slept with a schoolgirl in Trainspotting. The delightfully excruciating encounter with her parents in the sobriety of the familial living room will be appreciated by anyone who has been unknowingly thrust into a situation in which they must appear to be lucid and presentable while battling with the brain-shrinking pain of a hangover. Renton’s obliviousness allows him to slip through the situation without experiencing any apparent self-doubt. His friend Spud, on the other hand, is in a much stickier situation that same morning, having shat the pink linen sheets of his girlfriend’s bed in his drug-addled stupor of the previous night. Presenting a bindle made from sloppy mass to her parents as they neck a glistening fried breakfast acts as an appropriately crass analogy of how you can pay for twilight transgressions and, perhaps literally, end up in the shit.

Post-party parties may only exist in R Kelly songs just prior to the golden shower/midget emerging from a closet, but often in films the action will move on to a house or other locale where our heroes and heroines can attempt to hook up or express the meat if their existential dilemmas.

Movies deal in fantasy and metaphor to help us escape the daily drudge, but it can be most rewarding when they reflect the after dark journey millions of people take from jubilant to jaded, moving from bedroom to bathroom to pub to club and then back again, in a way that is both revealing and familiar.

A far more tender take on sloppy, alcohol-tinged sex can be found in Greenberg, a faintly depressing but gently humours film starring Ben Stiller which only came out last year. In it Stiller’s self-obsessed title character gradually wins over a mumbling PA played by Greta Gerwig and they attempt to consummate their relationship at her apartment, both under the influence. While clothes tend to fall away easily from Hollywood stars when the time comes, there is plenty of fumbling and awkwardness here, with Gerwig making embarrassed conversation while Stiller goes down on her. They end up embarrassed and unfulfilled, each a bubbling pot of neuroses which continue to operated even after drink removes some inhibitions.

The most accurate and appealing treatment of post-club activities is probably found in Lost in Translation, when an ageing whisky spokesperson played by Bill Murray is taken back to the apartment of some Japanese strangers in the company of Scarlett Johansson’s sultry younger woman. Winding down with cigarettes, liquor and karaoke is a pitch perfect representation of how a night can shift gears and stutter on almost indefinitely, until morning casts its rude light onto puffy-eyed people steeling themselves for the walk of shame, serenaded home by the disapproving hum of milk floats. Mike Leigh’s Happy Go Lucky takes a

Natalia Tena It was at the age of 18 when Natalia Tena got her first role in the hit British film, About A Boy. At the time there was no way that Surrey born actress Natalia Tena could have known the career that waited before her. Star of the Harry Potter franchise as well as up coming films Bel Ami (in which she stars along side the likes of Uma Thurman and Robert Pattinson) and independent flick You Instead, Natalia is gradually carving a very promising career for herself. As well as this she is also the front woman for her band, Molotov Jukebox, a self confessed ‘gyp-step’ group who are beginning to pick up a real following. We meet Natalia just a few weeks before the premiere of the final Harry Potter film at, of all places, a car park in Peckham where despite the chilly temperatures Natalia spent the next few hours dressed in summer outfits posing for this shoot. Helped, in no small part we imagine, by her best friend who popped along after returning from travelling with a bottle of whisky to help keep the actress warm. She kept the crew entertained with her on-set tales and was more than happy to ask the inevitable Harry Potter themed questions that everyone had for her. After the shoot we sat down with the actress for a glass of red wine, a cigarette and a chat about how it all started‌


‘After I got the role [in About A Boy] all of my friends and family were telling me that that was it, I was going to be a famous actress, but I wasn’t dumb enough to believe that,’ she says in her husky voice. ‘The world of acting is a lot fucking harder than getting a small part in a hit film and being made up for life.’ Natalia’s ‘big break’ in to the film industry came when she auditioned ‘accidentally’ for the role of Ellie in the then unheard of film About A Boy. ‘I auditioned for the role after I was caught smoking in a bush by my drama teacher. Luckily he quite liked me so he dragged me to our drama room where the casting directors were auditioning young boys for the main role. He introduced me to the casting team and made me read for the role of Ellie,’ Natalia remembers. ‘At the time I had dreadlocks and piercings. I was full of teenage angst and didn’t really care if I got the role or not. I read a few lines and got a recall. It wasn’t until I was officially offered the role that I realised what a huge deal the whole thing was.’ At the time Natalia was attending Bedales boarding school alongside the likes of Lily Allen, although, despite what her fellow boarding school kids might have thought at the time she didn’t come from a well-off family. ‘I was allowed to go there for free,’ she says. ‘At the time my Dad could barely afford to pay our bills, I didn’t come from a privileged background like all the other kids I was friends with.’ Born the daughter of two Spanish parents Natalia had grown up loving art, music and drama – ‘I’ve loved them all since I could breathe’ – and so a move in to the

world of acting was hardly a surprise to Natalia and her family however, despite About A Boy being a huge success once it was released life didn’t really change much for the actress. ‘I got an agent and went to a few meetings and auditions but other than that nothing changed, I didn’t get any other acting offers. I had this insane arrogance at the time and I told my agent that I wouldn’t even consider a role if it wasn’t a main part. I wanted to get my A Levels and didn’t see the point in jeopardising my education for a bit-part,’ says Natalia. ‘So I decided to go to university in Australia but that all changed when I fell in love and decided to stay here in the UK.’ The same week that Natalia turned down her university place she auditioned and landed her first lead role with theatre production company, Shared Experience and it was then that Natalia realised acting was the thing she wanted to do. ‘I fell in love with acting at that moment. Being on stage is so different to acting in films, there’s something so magical about it. My time on stage was a bit like drama school for me, it really taught me how to act, way more than being in a film did.’ And does she stay in contact with her old co-star, the Skins and X Men actor Nicholas Hoult. ‘No sadly not. He was such a sweet kid though. While we were filming all of the teenage members of the cast would sit around in the canteen smoking and talking about sex and he so desperately wanted to join in with us but he was too young. I could see his mum hoping that he wouldn’t come over and talk to us. When I saw him

in Skins all grown up I was like, ‘Wow!’’. Despite Natalia insisting that the best reviews she’s ever received have been for her theatre performances it is her role as Nymphadora Tonks in the last three Harry Potter films that has really opened doors for the actress both professionally and personally however it was a part that she nearly never had. ‘Landing that role was a pretty drawn out process!,’ she laughs. ‘When I first read the script I found it very confusing because I hadn’t read any of the books. My first audition was awful, I stumbled my words and fell over when I first walked in. After it was over I called my agent and told her it had gone terribly yet despite the fact that the casting crew agreed it was awful they still wanted to see me again. The second audition wasn’t much better but the casting director said to me, ‘Nat, I don’t know what it is but I really feel like you’re meant for the role of Tonks. I might be wrong but I want you to give it another chance.’ So I went away, read the books and finally began to understand the character so when I went back for the third time I was so much better and they gave me the role.’ Being a part of arguably the biggest film franchise in the world has meant that Natalia has spent the last few years attending premieres, press junkets and meeting a lot of die hard fans. ‘The fans are nuts, I cannot wait until the final premiere,’ she squeals. It was at one of these premieres that Natalia says it finally hit her that she was part of something so massive. ‘Working on Harry Potter is a bit


DRESS : TBA : www.ilovetba.com / BEADS : MARLENE BERGER : www.day.dk / NECKLACE (WORN IN HAIR) : MARLENE BIRGER JACKET- : DAY BERGER : www.day.dk /

like working in a bubble, I got a bit lost in it. The warehouse they shoot in is huge and I’d go back year after year and see all the same faces so it’s easy to forget that you’re part of something that is so huge and that means so much to so many people.’ However unlike the films main stars who have since spoken out about how sad their last days on set were Natalia Tena didn’t get the same chance to celebrate/ commiserate. ‘My last day of shooting was a bit of a nonevent as we weren’t sure if it actually was my last day or not. I got the chance to celebrate at the wrap party though, my band played and Jarvis Cocker DJ’d.’ Putting acting to one side for the moment Natalia also has another notable talent. Singing. Or to be more precise, singing and playing the accordion. She is one part of the six-piece band, Molotov Jukebox, a band she describes as being the perfect mix of gypsy/folk sounds and dub-step, gyp-step to phrase it as she does. ‘We make lots of different types of music, that’s why the word jukebox is in our name but I think gypstep summarises us best. Really we’re just about having a lot of fun,’ says Natalia. Natalia started out her musical career at a young age, after being classically trained in piano and learning to play the accordion Natalia set about trying to earn some extra money as a professional busker around London’s underground. ‘I started busking when I was 15 years old, at the time my family didn’t have much money so any extra bit I could make was a big deal to me, I even had odd jobs flyering, waitressing and dog walking too. I did it for years and when I was 18 I busked my way around Europe and got myself a busking permit when they were made compulsory in London.’ And even though she is now making considerable more money than she was before from her acting and singing careers Natalia is still fond of the odd bit of busking. ‘Sometimes in the summer me and my boyfriend grab a hat and head off to our local tube stop and go busking. I think everyone should try it, if only be-

cause the pint or the sandwich you have at the end feels like the best, most deserved thing ever.’ Although the band is gradually getting more gigs and more attention Natalia says she can’t choose a favourite between singing and acting. ‘To me they’re two chambers of the same heart,’ she says. However, while she cannot choose between the two it does seem that she can combine the two. Natalia recently appeared in a film named You Instead, a film that was made entirely over four days at T In The Park and see’s Natalia play a musician who becomes handcuffed to the lead member of the festivals headline act, a synth act from LA. Initially the two despise each other but as the film goes on they bond over their appreciation of music and inevitably fall in love. The role is Natalia’s first lead role to date. ‘They were some of the longest days of my life. It was freezing cold and I’d work all day until 5am then try to get some sleep but only ever managed a maximum of four hours because at 10am each day the festivals music would start back up again. I essentially survived off of cans of Red Bull, I can’t even look at the stuff anymore. I was so cold and tired the whole time that I don’t think I gave my best performance. The physical elements of the whole experience really got to me,’ she says. ‘I’ve watched it twice now, the first time I had to watch it through my hands. I hate watching myself on film, I find it fucking horrific because I’m infinitely judgmental of myself.’ As well as the release of You Instead Natalia has also been kept busy filming for the up coming Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod directed film, Bel Ami. In the film Natalia plays a prostitute and stars along side a cast of Hollywood regulars including Christina Ricci, Kristin Scott Thomas and her old friend Robert Pattinson. Natalia and the Twilight actor have been friends for many years after meeting through their mutual agent and she welcomed the chance to work with him. ‘Our agent took us for lunch together one

day and we got on brilliantly. We ended up getting a bit drunk and decided we would fly off to Berlin together that same day. Unfortunately I didn’t have my passport so that plan didn’t work out too well but we spent the following summer together both being young and unemployed hanging out and having a great time. The last time I saw him before filming for Bel Ami he told me he was off to America to star in, ‘some weird vampire thing,’ and we lost touch. The next time I saw him was on the Bel Ami set when we had to pretend to have sex with each other,’ laughs Natalia. ‘The only time I’ve ever had to drink before work was when I was due to do a sex scene in another film I was working on. We had to act out the whole event from being full clothed to having full on sex. It was made even weirder because half way through the male character morphed in to my dead brother. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to act, not only was I doing a graphic sex scene but it was such an odd twist. It took a few shots of whiskey and a lot of direction from the crew to get me through it!’ And with that there’s time for just one more cigarette before Natalia makes her way off with her best friend in tow, excitedly telling her that they have ‘so much’ to catch up on.

First Image : Maxi dress- Marelene Birger www.day.dk Boots : Swedish Hasbeens www.swedishhasbeens.com Necklace : Imogen Belfield Jacket : Day Berger Words: Laura Hills Pictures: James Lincoln Styling: Sara Darling Hair: Oska Pera from Radio London Hair Salon using Bumble and Bumble Make-up: Luke Stephens using BECCA


HAT : STYLISTS OWN / BLUE CROPPED SHIRT : FAIRGROUND : www.welovefairground.com / MAXI SKIRT : FAIRGROUND / BOOTS : CLARKS : www.clarks.co.uk / RING : LAURA GRAVESTOCK : www.lauragravestock.com




Drive Looks Brutal Comic Con: a cacophony of awesomeness for geeks all over. But the biggest treat was the trailer for Ryan Gosling’s ‘Drive’. Guns, chicks, fast cars and a wealth of casting genius means that it’s release on 23rd September can’t come soon enough.


UK Film Gets Grittish with Kill List Not only did new British movie ‘Kill List’ help us create the term ‘Grittish’ (Gritty British), it also looks absolutely fantastic. A darkly dangerous and eerily unforgettable atmosphere, as well as the ‘Best British genre film in years’. In Love with The Lone Ranger Not enough that Johnny Depp is playing Tonto and Tom Wilkinson is involved? Chuck the prospect of Helena Bonham Carter into the mix as a crazy Madam and you’ve stolen our attention and kept it in a little bag until its release in 2012.

Films on Fridges In an attempt to animate the vacant and un-utalised places in London, Films on Fridges have emerged. A film event that does pretty much what it says on the tin. The project was inspired by the disappearance of East London’s, ‘Fridge Mountain’ aka a pile of frigdes towering 20ft that used to sit on what is now the 2012 Olympic site. The event will literally be screening films on fridges with films starting at 9pm (or whenever the sun decides to set) throughout August. The films will all be sport themed with an East End Shorts night taking place on the 10th August in honour of the East End Film Festival. Tickets are £10 and sell fast so we would advise early booking. Dates and films can be found on the website, www.filmsonfridges.com. The Yard Forman Smokehouse Gallery Yard adjacent to H. Forman & Son Stour Road E3 2NT London wegottickets.com

The Dark Knight Rises In Our Pants (Again) Finally the teaser trailer for Chris Nolan’s last piece of bat-shaped jigsaw is with us. Tom Hardy’s Bane is shit your pants frightening, but seeing Gary Oldman’s Commissioner laid up dying in bed is even scarier. Check it out... then go back to your normal life a little more excited.


Give-away a Twist Why Don’t You Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz in horror, Dream House is an exciting prospect. Two movie big guns lending their usually more serious faces to this genre. So quite why the filmmakers thought to show the entire film plot and epic twist within the 2 minute trailer is beyond us. ‘Taking Pollution Down To Zero’ Cartoon Network have announced that a live action adaptation of the eco-green superhero Captain Planet is on its way.... why? A bluey/green super saving the Earth one spray can at a time. Goes to show Superheros can be dickheads too. Sherlock Holmes 2 Leaves Us Limp Guy Ritchie has released his sizzling trailer for our favourite Brit detective with enough explosions to level the House of Parliament, but does this mean it’s any good? No dear friends, it most definitely does not. Words: Matt Hamm

The Floating Cinema If you have missed the coverage online of the Floating Cinema then read on. This boat, created by Hackney based architects, Studio Weave and artists, Somewhere has been fully customised to screen films whilst ambling along the locks of London. On board screenings are free with more than eight screenings happening throughout August. www.floatingcinema.info

Disney and BFI No one can say that they don’t love a good Disney film and what with the release of their 50th Animated feature BFI have teamed up with the power house of animation to present Disney’s complete works over an entire year starting this August. If you book ten tickets you get 20% off so you could really go all out and start a year of Disney film viewing. August sees Beauty and the Beast, The Great Mouse Detective, The Little Mermaid, Mickey Mouse and Friends, Oliver and Company and the Rescuers Down Under all being screened. Check out www.bfi.org.uk for more info.


Central Film School Extras needed age 19-23, males and females, for classroom scene. To be filmed this friday from 12pm to 5pm. sarahbolshi@sundaybest.net Executive Assistant to the CEO - Revolver The role is ideal for a natural gatekeeper who can prioritise the CEO’s time effectively. emma@revolvergroup.com



This Month : Mario Wagner >>Where do you live? San Francisco, California >> Tell us a little about yourself I am a German artist working as a painter and illustrator in San Francisco. My large scale paper collage and acrylic on canvas works derive from familiar Modernist techniques - Dadaist collage and photo montage. I create my work by using old magazines, scissor, glue, acrylic and my Mac. I’ve had work commissions from some the most popular magazines in the world like Playboy, Esquire and The New York Times Magazine and have been shown in galleries and art fairs worldwide. >>What inspires you? A lot of things. Music, literature, magazines, movies and of course life itself. The natural world is a very magical place and I often feel like a kid when I discover something new, like an transparent deep sea creature never seen before by human eyes or a new discovery in space that puts everything we think know to the test. >>Do you have any notable fans? Not that I know so far. I think Floria Sigismondi likes my work otherwise she wouldn’t have included me in the commercial she did for ABSOLUT Vodka. I love her work for years so it was amazing to see somebody like her enjoying my work too.

>>Tell us a fact that no one knows about you... I love soccer, I still have a season ticket for my favorite German club. Website: www.mario-wagner.com



TTER O P S ART Corry e i m A

The Coens, Gilbert and George, and let us not forget, the insatiable public presence of Jedward, all have forged successful careers out of double acts based on the supposed shared creativity between siblings (real or imagined). The combined twisted genius of the Chapman brothers, who’ve spent over a decade tinkering with the darker realms of the human mind, has been ruptured for the White Cube’s new show. Jake and Dinos have creatively parted ways for the last year, leaving the art world to question with baited breath… would Hell (the title of the Chapmans’ famous sculpture of Lilliputian Nazi carnage) be unleashed once more, or would the chattier Jake be all talk without

Jake or Dinos Chapman

the brooding talent of Dinos?

It is perhaps something of an anticlimax that there is little to differentiate in quality or content between this show, and previous combined efforts. As it turns out, unlike Gilbert and George whose art, and indeed daily routine, is indivisibly bound up in the duality of their relationship, Jake and Dinos are creatively separable. It just so happens that they are so absorbed with the same concerns, and means of expressing them, that they might as well not be. Whilst it seemed to please visitors to play an (inevitably monotonous) guessing game as to which brother was responsible for which pieces (I’d wager on the illustrations being Dinos’, and the cardboard sculptures belonging to Jake) it bears little relevance to this visually commanding and wittily iconoclastic ex-

hibition. Ghoulishly overseeing the giant dictatorial cardboard sculptures and sizeable collection of illustrations at Mason’s Yard, are an army of life size black Nazi figures, flesh stripped and grins bared. Some might yawn at the continual Nazi presence in the Chapmans’ work: aside from the swastika-shaped Hell, their 2008 show, If Hitler Had Been a Hippy How Happy Would We Be, saw 13 of Adolf’s puerile watercolours daubed with smiley faces and psychedelic rainbows. Whilst Mason’s Yards sadistic figures’ swastika badges have been replaced with unsettling acid house smiley faces, their identity is without question. Nazi overkill it might be, but I still found these figures genuinely unsettling. Most particularly, after accidentally apologising to one particularly freakish officer for stepping on his booted toe amongst the


Events listings: Jake or Dinos Chapman White Cube Mason’s Yard and Hoxton Square London 15 July - 17 September 2011 Photo: Ben Westoby Courtesy White Cube

The Coens, Gilbert and George, and let us not forget, the insatiable public presence of Jedward, all have forged successful careers out of double acts based on the supposed shared creativity between siblings (real or imagined). The combined twisted genius of the Chapman brothers, who’ve spent over a decade tinkering with the darker realms of the human mind, has been ruptured for the White Cube’s new show. Jake and Dinos have creatively parted ways for the last year, leaving the art world to question with baited breath… would Hell (the title of the Chapmans’ famous sculpture of Lilliputian Nazi carnage) be unleashed once more, or would the chattier Jake be all talk without the brooding talent of Dinos? It is perhaps something of an anticlimax that there is little to differentiate in quality or content between this show, and previous combined efforts. As it turns out, unlike Gilbert and George whose art, and indeed daily routine, is indivisibly bound up in the duality of their relationship, Jake and Dinos are creatively separable. It just so happens that they are so absorbed with the same concerns, and means of expressing them, that they might as well not be. Whilst it seemed to please visitors to play an (inevitably monotonous) guessing game as to which brother was responsible for which pieces (I’d wager on the illustrations being Dinos’, and the cardboard sculptures belonging to Jake) it bears little relevance to this visually commanding and wittily iconoclastic exhibition. Ghoulishly overseeing the giant dictatorial cardboard sculptures and sizeable collection of illustrations at Mason’s Yard, are an army of life size black Nazi figures, flesh stripped and grins bared. Some might yawn at the continual Nazi presence in the Chap-

mans’ work: aside from the swastika-shaped Hell, their 2008 show, If Hitler Had Been a Hippy How Happy Would We Be, saw 13 of Adolf’s puerile watercolours daubed with smiley faces and psychedelic rainbows. Whilst Mason’s Yards sadistic figures’ swastika badges have been replaced with unsettling acid house smiley faces, their identity is without question. Nazi overkill it might be, but I still found these figures genuinely unsettling. Most particularly, after accidentally apologising to one particularly freakish officer for stepping on his booted toe amongst the crowd. The fact remains that as symbols of the disturbing transgressive potential of man, there really is no other such visually commanding comparative. Over at Hoxton Square the onslaught continues, both in terms of the exhibition and, as the second leg of Thursday’s private views, the revelry. In Jay Jopling’s ivory tower, the mood was suitably uncouth. Upstairs, Natalia Vodianova shamelessly filled the cube’s glass walls with cigarette smoke and the artists basked good naturedly in the boozeenhanced alarm of the attendees coming face to face with a child horribly disfigured by a wolf’s snout. Employing another favourite Chapman theme – the violation of childhood innocence – Hoxton Square’s tracksuit-clad infant mannequins cluster with disconcerting aggression in the main gallery. As with the Nazis, there is nothing particularly new here, the Chapmans have forged a career out of anatomically disfiguring depictions of children by replacing their features with sexual organs. However, it is still triumphantly executed, and the lone sulking child on the gallery stairs provoked a ripple of horrified squeals from unsuspecting observers. Hitler and grotesque kids checked off the ‘few of the Chapmans’ favourite things’ list, religion bashing is surely up next.

Inevitably, prevalent throughout is the absorption with blasphemy. As a largely secular audience, this has arguably lost the power to shock, however the camp Virgins and Jesus icons daubed with an unforgiving Chapman brush – exorcist tongues, popping eyeballs, ostentatious drops of glittery blood – are constructed in a way which may not shock, but definitely affords guilty delight. If they cared enough to do so, the Chapmans will have to answer to those who claim their will to shock, 14 years after the YBA’s stormed the public arena with Sensation, is verging on becoming outdated and gratuitous. At Mason’s Yard an aroused KKK figure contemplates a Brueghel the Younger painting which has been the victim of a subtle Chapman interference; twisted animal features and overt sexual deviances have been added to the Flemish pastoral scene. Whilst this might appear a warrantless attempt at upsetting the conservative faction, Breughel would most likely have approved. His work is often touched with a disturbing habit of appearing on first glance to be a jolly sixteenth century scene of village life and, on closer inspection, revealing babies being horrifically impaled on Spanish bayonets, watched by their restrained mothers. As is so often the case, what appears modern in concept, is really new only in execution. Emotionally, there is nothing complex or subtle here, but the show is a rollicking ode to London’s continuing love affair with, for want of a better label, the YBAs. Both galleries’ private views were rammed, and this wasn’t just the consequence of free beer and the presence of a post-honeymoon Kate and Jamie! People were genuinely excited to see the show and absorbed it to a far greater extent than is often the case at a private view. Dodging the intermittent bird crap of an ominous band of ravens and coming face to face with nightmare-inducing Nazis engaged and entertained in just the way this sort of show should: not taking itself too seriously. Jay Jopling and Tim Marlow’s impeccable installation further reinforces the continued strength and resurgence of the 90s British art scene. Whilst Saatchi has increasingly drifted from his old hunting ground, favouring contemporary China and India for his latest exhibitions, Jopling stands firm (last year alone White Cube showed Damien Hirst, Cerith Wyn Evans and Marc Quinn). White Cube, is not only opening a new box of tricks in Bermondsey St next year, but has just announced a Hong Kong gallery opening in 2012. Coupling this with Emin at the Hayward and Hirst at the Tate in time for the Olympics, there is no denying the continued public appetite for the Chapmans and their peers remains, and if anything, is growing. Ultimately, Jake or Dinos Chapman remain gloriously disturbing even to the desensitised art crowd – combining close, if not subtle, observations with awe-inspiring aesthetic impact, and never failing to produce a nervous laugh.

The Process : Raven Smith

‘I have spent the best part of my artistic life knee-deep in bins, neck-deep in sand, or shoulder-deep in skips.’

I’ve been upside-down, head over heels, buried alive and strung up to dry. I’ve been lynched, launched and laundered. The broad theme of my work is that we, as a society, are destined to fail in our endeavours. There was a time when if you worked hard you got what you wanted but I think that’s changing now. No matter how hard you try you are still a face in the crowd of hopefuls clamouring for that job, or that lifestyle, or that dream. I don’t want to abandon hope, but within my work I examine the idea that our ambitions are pointless, and that our aspirations are out of reach. Failure itself is our only accomplishment. Japed Emulsifiers (main cover and art cover) was the personification of that theme. The idea was to literally depict a series of failed jumps—the aftermath of our inability to fly both physically and metaphorically. Working with this broad dystopian theme I produce work wherein each of my actions is seemingly random, absurd and impulsive. The incidents depicted have no obvious purpose, no concept of the social arena within which they have been

created, and no bearing on the past, present or future. Each action is its own end: an encapsulated, nonsensical moment, incorporated in its surroundings yet simultaneously disassociated from them. What emerges is at once whimsical and sinister: both harmless and destructive. To act without reason is to call into question your participation in what we know to be ‘conventional human culture’ it is to question your own status as reasonable and calculated, and thereby interrogates your very humanness. The performances are all complete in themselves, with motive, action and outcome contained all in one moment, and this is why they are often surprising, humorous and disturbing. In another project of mine, And I… the search for affection, emotion and even reaction from the statues is redundant; another failure. To physically kiss stone is to act against base primal urge—attraction to other humans. These physically unattainable men—immortalised in stone—remain stationary, caught motionless in time, they simply cannot react. The kisses themselves become obsolete: fated from

inception; the impossibility of reciprocation dooms them. On a basic level I hope people enjoy the ridiculous, instant gratification of my work. Further down the line I would like to examine why they’ve enjoyed it. I make work based on my own personal and private world and hope it resonates universally. The more reactions I get to my work the more I realise that our personal histories are collective too. I see the world around me and I react; I would say that’s true for all artists. It’s my personal reaction that sets me apart; I would say that’s true for all people I’m a frustrated escapist, a poorly performing trazpeze artist, an unpaid contortionist. I’m also an optimist; one day I’ll land on my feet. words : Raven Smith (Also cover image) ravensmithphotography.blogspot.com



Kenneth Grange At The Design Museum Kenneth Grange is a designer that has had his hand in almost everything you know best. Trains, taxis, cameras and bus shelters and now he comes to show his work at the Design Museum. The show covers half a century of work in UK design. 20 July 2011 – 30 October 2011 - £10 designmuseum.org/kenneth-grange

Free: Meeting Of Style Block Party This year London hosts the worlds biggest graffiti festival including hip-hop, BBQs and beer alongside work from over 50 hand picked artists. The festival runs from midday to 8pm with walls, canvases and boards being live painted throughout the day. Lazy Habits, DJ Mylon, Chu-i and Trol23 will be prviding the tunes and there will be a raffle prize draw towards the end of the day. Finally there will also be live Tshirt customisation, beatboxing and food and drink coming from Meateasy’s meatwagon and a customised ice cream truck bar. After 8pm the afterparty kicks off at The Electric Space, The Studios with more beatboxing showcases and music.

Eye Candy: Eliz­a­beth Hoeckel American artist, Hoeckel makes collages without any digital technology. Vintage paper and good old glue (we are hoping Pritt Stick) are used to create surrealist scenes by layering natural setttings together. Elizabeth’s projects all encompase collage and mixed media and she currently works in Baltimore. You will notice Elizabeth’s work in a numer of international magazines and websites. We are keeping our eyes peeled for a UK show and will update you soon as we have news. www.bethhoeckel.com

The Studios, Hornsey street Islington, N7

Apple Light Wall Paper Abduzeedo brought this computer/iphone/ipad wall paper to our attention this month by Jean Dettenborn a designer and student from Brazil. You can find and download the screensaver here www.jeand.posterous.com


Graphic Designer - S-Kape Design Graphic Designer needed - must have experience in Real Estate. amelia@s-kapedesign.com Graphic Design Internship - create me workshop Looking for one enthusiastic and creative graphic designer who would like to gain experience working in a modeling and fashion performance creative company. jobs@createmeworkshop.com



-UP - s E K A M n tephe S e k Lu

Phoebe Wears: Lips: Iman Luxury Lip Shimmer in High Drama, £14.95. Cheeks: Bobbi Brown Shimmer Blush in Rose Shimmer, £17. / Shumi Wears: Face: Iman Luxury Radiance Liquid Make-up, £23.95. Eyes: BlackUP Duo Eyeshadow in #2., £21.50. Cheeks: NARS Blush in Cactus Flower, £20.50. Lips: Illamasqua Lipstick in Utopia, £15.50.

SKIN Ask anyone with the slightest dark tan about their make-up, and you will probably be met with a roll of the eyes, and a sad sigh. The fact is that even though this is the 21st century women of colour still find it difficult to find make-up compared to their white counterparts. Most brands simply don’t have the breadth of colours in their range, and even if they do, most don’t seem to understand darker skin tones. Many have tried and most have sadly failed to launch ranges that are specifically for darker skin tones, even when high profile celebrities have put their name to ranges of their own these have just not taken off, and consequently disappeared. To get to the bottom of it I got together a group of ladies and make-up and industry expert, Katie Aldridge to discuss representation of darker skins in the beauty industry. Joyce Connor from Bridesandbeauty. com, Emmanuella Lartley, and Aba Crentsil are all make-up addicts keen to share their experiences of buying make up for darker skin. The general consensus was a lack of availability of products to match their skin tone. The notion of a ‘one-stop-shop’ where the girls are able to get all of their make-up in one place instead of shopping around is something of a rarity. It seems that if one brand does great foundation shades, the colours of lipstick or eyeshadow are not highly pigmented enough. This often leads to making ones own colours by buying two of the same product in different shades and mixing them together. The girls recalled their beauty icons, including actresses and mothers putting on their favourite red lipstick and drawing on eyebrows something that now proves a challenge to emulate. Katie Aldridge says, ‘For women of that generation and to a certain extent this generation also, there were few beauty reference points. This led to and still means that a lot of women feel underrepresented in the beauty industry and also to a certain extent in the fashion industry too.’

Having said all this there are a couple of brands that truly have you the consumer at their very hearts and have an excellent range of shades to suit all skin tones. I took some of these along to my meet for show and tell and the response was quite surprising. Many of the women had not heard about some of the brands, and were not aware that they were so readily available. Sleek MakeUp was one of them, available at Superdrug, reasonably priced, and with a wide selection of products suitable for all skin tones. Their two foundation ranges come in 30 shades ( the most you’ll find on the high street) and they have a good, oil free Crème to Powder Foundation, which dries to a matte finish. Sleek also have highly pigmented 85 colours, including excellent value I-Divine palettes. Bobbi Brown has nine different types of foundations, coming in 20 different shades. Not all the foundations come in darker skin tones, however, but the excellent Foundation Stick £27, does and so does the Luminous Moisturising Foundation, £29. Bobbi’s colour range has a mid pigment so is brilliant for women of colour who want a more natural, muted palette. Available at most large department stores and online. M.A.C., a staple favourite with practically all of their foundations coming in the darker end of the spectrum, so there is something here for everyone. M.A.C being a professional range they take their pigments very seriously, and there is a huge array of colours and textrues here for just about everybody. NARS is another cult favourite has a superb range of colours from natural to vivid brights. NARS’s foundations are again in colours to suit all skin tones and types and as of September NARS will be extending their line of concealers, £17.50, to match the foundation range. BECCA Cosmetics has 34 shades of foundation in two formats and 8 shades in the golden to dark end of the spectrum. The Luminous Skin Colour SPF 25, £35, is a moisturiser and a skin perfector. Laced with vitamins, this product helps to achieve the BECCA philosophy of perfect flawless complexion.

Their ultimate skin saver, Stick Foundation is super creamy and a dream to apply, this SPF30 stick comes in 30 shades. Available at Fenwicks, Bond Street. Concealers also come in a massive range of colours. BlackUP is a French brand founded in 1999 to fill a gap in makeup for darker skins, this super savvy make up collection has everything a woman of colour could want. Five different types of foundation, mattifying to compact, to powder and prices start at £24. Their colour collection is super high pigment so easy to use. The range also includes a comprehensive skincare range, including an excellent mattifying lotion for a flawless shine free finish. Available at Debenhams Oxford Street, and Morleys of Brixton.

Iman Cosmetics has a superb range of high quality, wearable products for women of colour. They have divided their foundation range into 3 categories, Clay Earth and Sand tone for easy matching. Their foundation range has just been extended to include a Luxury Radiance Liquid Make-up that has an oil free mineral base. Their website even has a handy tool called Meet You Match to match any shade of foundation you currently use to any of theirs. So if you’re tired of using the same old foundation, just type the name of it into the website, and it’ll find your perfect match. The colour range is highly pigmented, and mistake proof. Illamasqua is a relatively new player in the make-up market, but has made quite

an impact. Illamasaqua’s philosophy of total make-up freedom extends to its range of colours, including foundations. They have a variety of textures from the lightest to more full coverage and have recently introduced a new Skin Base foundation. This super light foundation inspired by the cult Asian market BB Creams, gives the look of a tinted moisturiser but actually becomes part of the skin to give a more flawless, even finish and can even be used as a liquid concealer. Pigment is key at Illamasqua, and their colour range is no exception. When you look at the colour it is exactly the colour you get. Available in Selfridges, and online.

Left : Phoebe Wears: Face: Sleek MakeUP Skin Revive Foundation, £7.30. Eyes: Illamasqua Liquid Metal in resolute, £17.50. Cheeks: BlackUP Blush in BL07, £15.25. Lips: BlackUP Lipstick in #29, £14.50. / Right : Phoebe wears: Face: Bobbi Brown Stick Foundation, £27. BlackUP Sublime Powder in #06, £23.75. Powder: Iman Semi Loose Powder in Earth Medium, £22.95 Eyes: Sleek MakeUP I-Divine Eye Primer Palette, £7, NARS Trio EyeShadow in Cap Ferrat, £33. Benefit Bad Gal Pencil, £14 Cheeks: Bobbi Brown Blush, in Plum £17. Lips: BlackUP Lipstick in #27, £14.50. / Below Right : Shumi Wears: Face: BlackUP Fluid Foundation, £24.75. Concealer: NARS Concealer, £17.50 Eyes: Baked eyeshadow in Terracotta, Laura Mercier, £18.50, BECCA Line + Illuminate Pencil in Mustique, £17. Illamasqua Pure Pigment in Ore, £15.50. Cheeks: Iman Luxury Blushing Powder Duo in Posh, £14.95 Lips: Iman Lipstick in Scorpion, £12.95


Images: Jay Mclaughlin Hair: Kate Blackmore Models: Phoebe & Shumi courtesy of Oxygen. www.blackup.com, www.narscosmetics.co.uk, www.beccacosmetics.com/uk/, www.illamasqua.com, www.bobbibrown.co.uk, www.maccosemtics.co.uk, www.sleekmakeup.com.

BIGGER CITIES: London V Montreal Each month we take a look at what other cities from around the world have going for them. This month Georgina swaps London for Montreal. Words: Georgina Childs After leaving a 14 degree, raining London I arrived in a 14 degrees, raining Montreal. But for me, other than a few high street stores such as H&M and Zara, that was where the similarities between London and Montreal ended. Especially when the weather soared to 30 degrees in Montreal the following day… Start with the art If you’re an arty type, Montreal has a lot to offer. Spend a few hours walking around the Museum of Contemporary Arts, combining sculpture, video, painting and photography, if you like the Tate, you’ll love this. And if you visit before October 2011, go to The Museum of Fine Arts to see Jean Paul Gaultier’s first exhibition, The Fashion World of Jean Paul Gaultier. Housing a collection of his designs, it tells the story of how he went from a schoolboy designing cone bras on his teddy bear to dressing the likes of Madonna, Beyonce and Lady Gaga.

Thierry Le Gouès Untitled (Solange Wilvert), Cuzco French Revue de Modes, October 2010 Voyage, Voyage collection Women’s prêt-à-porter fall/winter 2010-2011 © Thierry Le Gouès

Shop till you drop Fashion is a big deal to Montrealers, and women don’t like to be seen wearing the same thing as one another. You’ll find lots of original Montreal designers (their stores are easy to find as they’re marked with red flags outside that say ‘Mode Montreal’) and other contemporary stores from Forever 21 to American Eagle. Don’t miss Holts which is essentially their version of Selfridges and department store, Simons, it’s like a home from home. Recycled fashion Visit Harrican par Mariouche to see the creations of Montreal’s own, Mariouche Gagne. All her designs are made from recycled clothes, everything from bracelets that used to be silk scarves, tops made from old wedding dresses and belts made from old handbags. Her speciality, and where she first started, was recycling old fur coats for women who didn’t like their Mum’s or their Gran’s old-fashioned styles. Whether the coats are redesigned, made into bags, earmuffs, slippers, or accessories Mariouche is one eco-friendly lady.


Culture vulture If you get tired of browsing the shops, you can rent Bixis – the original Boris Bike – to tour the city. And don’t miss the Basilique Notre-Dame, the outside of the church is grand, but doesn’t do justice to the inside which is simply stunning. No matter how religious you are, we all know it’s practically law to visit a church when you’re abroad in another city. As good as new If the museums, shops and exhibitions have taken their toll, head to Old Montreal. This part of the city has a more European feel, you can wander the cobbled streets and find cafes for coffees and pastries when the sun is rising and bars for beers when it’s setting. These Canadians are crazy for cheese It’s not often you meet a Canadian, or an American, who appreciates cheese like the Montrealers do. True to their French heritage, they’re nuts about the stuff. Head towards the Masionneuve Market for more cheese than you can shake a stick at. Don’t be shy to ask to try before you buy. Try the cider When I was offered some cider to ‘help digest my meal’, I was slightly baffled. A pint of Bulmers wasn’t what I would call an aid to digestion. But that’s not what the Montrealers mean. They drink iced apple cider, that’s sweet as a nut and not fizzy. Much as you associate cider with lazy afternoons in the pub, make sure you try this iced kind, Magners it is not.

Win : Spa Experience For Two and Spa Products


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Fuck moustaches. Moustaches look awful. Why would you want to look like a young Ned Flanders anyway? Plus I can’t imagine all the crap that gets stuck in them. Moustaches are stupid and I don’t get why they’ve become a thing and right now, they’re so fucking played out it’s unbelievable. Actually I’m just bitter because I still can’t properly grow facial hair, at 24. Seeing actual children walk about in high school uniforms with well-crafted moustaches is frankly depressing. And that’s just the girls, HURRRRRRRRRR! I know because for the last 30 days or so I’ve been trying to grow a tash EVEN THOUGH it is really played out. Probably a dumb idea, it’s common knowledge that moustaches don’t really suit people with bizarrely young faces. Once I got ID’d for a Family Guy DVD so I know all about unfortunate kid-face. You should see me in a suit. The idea of a grown man baby in a suit with a moustache is funny but the humorous novelty factor would wear off eventually. You wouldn’t want to see it in person for longer than ten seconds. That’s my estimate.


And I’ve got that slightly to the side haircut which, with the right kind of lederhosen, would put me squarely in the Hitler Youth try-hard camp. They wouldn’t let me in I guess because my skull’s a weird shape and I heard I’m part Jewish. I’m not planning a free trip to Tel Aviv but I doubt I’d be welcome with the Hitler hair. Which, by the way, if shaved off would make me look like I just fell out of some woman’s womb. Imagine that with a moustache. Gross. I guess the reason I tried to grow one is I wanted to see if I could. I couldn’t. I actually tried about four years ago but you can imagine how that went. It was unsuccessful in a different way. Try to conjure up, if you can, a really old Chinese martial arts master perching on something in front of an apprentice from any tacky Kung Fu VHS in the world. You know those pointy moustaches, the really long ones that go from just above each side of the lip? Mine was one of those with an unmistakeable Napoleon complex. My underdeveloped Kung Fu tash (maybe just “Fu”) would square up to the tallest Wushu soup-strainer in the temple and get its butt kicked right out of the WuDang Mountains, Hubei Province. Actually I can’t think of any really cool famous guys with moustaches, except maybe Tom Sellack when he was in Three Men And A Baby. And he wasn’t even Ted Danson. The rest that spring to mind straight away are all pretty much unarguably fucking evil. Saddam’s was rad though. I think I’ll try again at some point. Maybe in Movember when the idea is to grow one for charity. That way, if it looks stupid by the end of the month at least I can tell everyone I’m white knighting for the world.

THE PERILS OF MID-WEEK DRINKING Let me describe to you just how I’m feeling. The tips of my toes are tingling, the electricity – rather like a dull, constant electric shock – leads to my calves, which ache as though I ran a marathon or 10 last night. Couple these with my bruised shins and my lower legs are pretty much out of action. My thighs – now this might sound a little dramatic – but I could swear they weigh 20,000 tonnes. I feel like I have two dead weights hanging from my torso. Ooooh, my torso. Ever done The Plank? I’ve got a great Davina fitness video where the freakishly fit self titled ‘Big Mutha’ embraces The Plank (I felt it deserved capitalisation) for a minute or 10. I can usually manage a few seconds but apparently I’ve been planking for hours.

And then I arrive at work, get a few teas and coffees down me, some nice food, my brain starts ticking, and come 5 o’clock I’m gagging for a cheeky glass or two of vino. So downstairs we go to the bar. We decide a glass of wine each is a rip-off – may as well get a bottle. By half 6 we’re downing Jagerbombs, we’re buying our second bottle of wine, and we’ve forgotten about dinner. Eating’s cheating, we chant. It’s all exceptionally embarrassing when you look back the next day.

My arms are riddled with tiny little pins and needles running through my dehydrated blood and my hands appear to have sprouted uncoordinated, uselessly chubby sausages. My neck may as well not be there – what’s its point again? And then we’ve reached my head. My poor, sorry, grossly ugly globe atop my useless body.

It’s 7 o’clock, and I’m half cut. My memory slowly starts to disappear and I say a fond goodnight to my dignity. See you in the morning when I’ll try my best to scrape you off the floor. Namely my bedroom floor, which is covered in make-up, tights, knickers, cotton buds, magazines, random receipts and hair. (I have a lot, it falls out often).

As fragile as an egg and about as unattractive as a chickens arse, my skin’s peeling off, my eyes are bulging, my lips cracked and my hair knotted and frizzy. My forehead thumps in a way that would make Bambi’s mate envious and my cheeks bulge ripe and…

A few hazy hours later, I make my way home, not so much climb but stumble/fall into bed, and set my alarm for half 5. I wake, I feel like shit, I curse my stupid mind and body and tell myself I’ll never drink again. But who am I kidding? I fall asleep on the train to work, I almost miss my stop, I moodily crawl into work. I have 20 minutes to get my act together before my boss comes in.

Hello hangover. I know what you’re thinking – ‘What a drama Queen!’ but believe me I suffer more than anyone else. My body just cannot cope with the alcohol. Must be bad genes. I’ve tried everything - drinking pints and pints of water pre bed, popping a couple of Paracetamol before my head falls onto the pillow, a cold shower, a wet flannel, a fry up, a glass of grapefruit juice (bleurgh), Andrews liver salts, sleep, denial, exercise… but body says no. It’s having none of it. Post night out when I arrive at work, I shove a couple more painkillers down my gullet and wash them down with water. I rest my head onto the desk and curse that last glass of wine I had - something I needed about as much as a smack in the face. OK, so I’m no Cheryl Cole/Rosie Huntington-Whiteley/[insert fit female here] even on a good day, but today I’ve got all the qualities of chavvy Cheryl Tweedy circa cornrows and smacking people in the toilets. Here I am – the walking advertisement for NOT drinking alcohol midweek. Or ever.

I gulp down a few coffees and a bagel/sausages/beans. I get busy – well, I make sure I look busy, and the time starts to tick by. But by around 11, I’m struggling big time. I’ve enjoyed reminiscing about what happened the night before with my colleague (she’s feeling just as bad as me) and now the novelty has worn off. Yes, it was pretty funny when our friends head butted each other while enthusiastically cutting some shapes on the dance floor, but I’m sort of over it now. And no, it definitely wasn’t funny when I stacked it on the stairs shortly after insulting a ‘freshen up lady’, as my friend called her. Told you - Cheryl Cole in her scally Tweedy days - that’s me. In fact, I’m such a foul person, that I’ll soon drive everyone away and be out drinking on my own before I know it. And that’s when the problems really start.

My day always goes the same way before a night out. I wake up in the morning at an ungodly hour and as I crawl out of bed I count how long it’ll be before I can crawl right back in again. The fleeting idea I had last night of going out tonight – usually it’s a Thursday (they’re the new Fridays, apparently) – was silly, I’m way too tired.

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No matter what lame excuse I give, I’m sorry to say that the dating game is over. You’ve not done anything wrong, Jackers, you were there to listen and to roll your eyes when I judged a man for his bad shoes, bad hair or his strange, posh accent. But, I’m sad to say, it’s just not working any more. If you’ve followed the dating game from the beginning, you’ll remember that the initial objective was to stop me from dating cocky, arrogant, (but good-looking) dickheads. And I think we have achieved that. It’s taken some highs, and some definite lows (a man PINCHED my thigh) to get here. But I can safely say that cocky, arrogant guys no longer hold such an appeal to me. They still hold an appeal, but I don’t think we can fight that. I reckon it’s part of my DNA or something. So, let’s look at the highs first. There was the RAH, who was rich, and was ALWAYS wearing at least one item of Ralph Lauren clothing. I actually dated him for a while. Don’t judge me, a girl’s gotta eat. There was the older guy, who treated me like a princess, despite the fact that every weekend of his was taken up by a stag do or a wedding. There was the quirky guy, who took me to the best pub quiz I’ve ever been to and was quite possibly one of the most interesting and ambitious people I’ve ever met. Not to mention, one of the best looking. There was the nice guy, who was simply, so nice. He would have been a good one to pursue, but I was still hung up on cocky, arrogant guys at the time. The keen guy was very nice, and gave me a bit of a confidence boost, but when he invited me to

stay with him in Bristol after only two dates, I doubted whether he was keen, or just a stalker. But before you think it was all plain sailing, there was the gym bunny, who pinched my thigh, yes, my thigh, to measure how much fat I had. NOT a high point. Then there was the geeky guy, who, bored me half to death when he chatted about servers and infrastructures. That was borderline traumatic. And the Essex guy, who I’m still hanging my head in shame about. All in all, it’s been an interesting year. I’d love to tell you that the reason I’m stopping dating stereotypical men is because I’ve met a banker, who takes me for dinner, loves my little black dresses and who my Nan absolutely loves, but I’m afraid that would be a lie. I never did get to date a banker, they really are just TOO busy. I’m stopping because I’ve run out of stereotypes. No, again I joke. I was stopping because I was thinking that I should start dating men who I’m genuinely interested in. Then I realised there are VERY few of them. I’m stopping because my mission is accomplished, I no longer fancy cocky and arrogant men. I know this because I met Mark Wright recently and didn’t fancy him. If that’s not confirmation, I don’t know what is. But rest assure, when I meet a nice guy, an older guy, a quirky guy, or simply a RAH, I’ll be sure to tell you guys ALL about it, and where he takes me for our first date. But for now, it’s over. This just isn’t for me anymore. I’m so sorry. But please can we still be friends?




ea and cake go together as well

as any combination of pairs and

London is overloaded with cafes to enjoy a sweet treat and a caffeine revival. However, the city is swamped with sugar- coated coffee houses and it can be hard to look past the over-priced chain stores and find somewhere unique. But behind, above and alongside the faceless branded names are thousands of places waiting for you to discover. We’ve searched high and low and tasted everything from traditional Victoria sponge slices to cake pops and whoopee pies to compile this list of the ultimate top ten locations.

Boulangerie Bon Matin 178 Tollington Park London, N4 3AJ boulangeriebonmatin.co.uk French and beautiful this bakery is worth the trip and is full of delicious homemade French cakes and patisseries. There is also a great lunch menu with traditional, fresh dishes but be prepared to wait if you visit at lunch time on a weekend day. The prices are reasonable and once you step past the bakery counter the space opens up into a bright open room with a pretty glass ceiling to let in the sunshine.

Konditor & Cook six locations across central London www.konditorandcook.com This lovely German bakery is nestled at locations across central London just waiting for you to fall into a world of rich, chocolate cake and brownies. But it’s not just about the chocolate, there’s almost any kind of cake variety you can think of and they taste as good as they look – something quite rare. The prices are more than your average cake shop but you won’t be disappointed. If you’ve got some especially nice friends maybe you could persuade them to buy you one.

Rose Bakery 17-18 Dover Street, W1S 4LT www.englishrosebakery.com A beautiful name and a beautiful place, this Paris-inspired bakery is a little too expensive for this list but we couldn’t leave it off. It’s a good hideaway to know about and is frequented by people who know how important a good cake is in life.

Candid Cafe and Courtyard 3 Torrens St, EC1V 1NQ www.candidarts.com The perfect antidote to the bustle of London life, if you want somewhere to chill out and have some time to yourself, while munching on some delicious sweet pastries, this is it. It’s hidden from the outside world and most visitors know where they’re going before they arrive. This lovely, secret hideaway has an amazingly light lemon and poppy seed cake - just don’t tell too many people about it.

Bea’s of Bloomsbury Bloomsbury and One New Change, www.beasofbloomsbury.com Although getting better well known by the minute, this is a cake shop which is full of everything you would expect and more. Traditional sponge cakes, scones and cupcakes galore – the afternoon tea is one

of the best in London and real bargain. You can also buy takeaway afternoon tea hampers to pick up and enjoy at your favourite London park.

Bulmers Opens Cider Garden On South Bank Fleet River Bakery 71 Lincoln’s Inn fields, WC2A 3JF, www.fleetriverbakery.com Ottolenghi four cafes across London, www.ottolenghi.co.uk Part of a small chain, Ottolenghi is an experience in itself. The cakes are miniature works of art and look almost too perfect to touch. Once you get past this and dive in you’ll be met by an amazing array of fresh and unusual flavours that work perfectly.

It doesn’t really fit in among the drab, grey buildings of Holborn but is a welcome retreat offering a cosy, rustic setting which could swallow you up for hours. It’s hard to leave once you’ve got a seat and the coffee will keep you happy for hours. Make sure you try the carrot cake. Dean & Hudson 249 Archway Road, N6 5BS deanandhudson.com Not just amazing cakes but an elegant cafe with black and white tiles lining the place. Cupcakes may be a bit last year for most people but when you spot these beauties you won’t be able to resist. The sugary treasures on offer are artfully decorated and wonderfully light, sweet and moist. (Large image)

We’ve unexpectedly found ourselves in the middle of a heat wave so what better place to relax with a cold cider than the new Bulmers Cider Garden v.1? Opening on 3 August on the Southbank the Bulmers Cider Garden v.1 will feature music curated by Rob Da Bank, free Bulmers samples including Bulmers Nº17 (crushed red berries cut with a shot of lime crushed red berries) and the opportunity to take part in a series of experiments to help Bulmers find the ultimate cider drinking experience. The cider garden will be open every day from 11am – 8pm until 14 August at Riverside walkway (by Gabriel’s Wharf), South Bank, London, SE1 9PP.


The Dulwich Bakery, 78 Park Hall Road, SE21 8BW www.dulwichbakery.com A little piece of the country in South London – this cake shop fits in well in the quaint village of Dulwich. The cakes are traditional and delicious and there’s a lot of fantastic savoury treats as well and if you’re in need of a celebration cake it’s a great place for Birthdays.

The Apple Cart Festival Meat lovers listen up, The Carnivore Club is set to launch at Camden bar/eatery The Blues Kitchen in August.

Berlin Delicious 129a Whitechapel High Street , E1 7PT www.berlin-delicious.com If you’re in east London and in need of something sugary immediately go to this cafe. It’s got some fantastic delights and the plum crumble bars will brighten up your month. The seating area is small so it’s best to visit if you’re in need of a quick sweet fix and caffeine on the go.

Taking place every Tuesday throughout August the Carnivore Club will be serving up some weird and wonderful meat types including kangaroo, crocodile, zebra and bison for just £12 including a side and a drink. Every week a different type of meat will be served up meaning that if you’re the adventurous type you can get your chops around a fair few food types that aren’t normally widely available to us Londoners. As always, The Blues Kitchen will also be serving up a good serving of Blues and Jazz music throughout the evenings so that you can drink and dance the night away afterwards.

Coming on the 7th August to Victoria Park, London is The Apple Cart Festival. A brand new festival for lovers of music, comedy, interactive art, cabaret, good food and magic all from the people behind Field Day and Underage Festival. Settled in Victoria Park this will be very much a ‘for all’ affair taking place on Sunday 7th August from 11am-1pm and aims to offer a different take on the saturated festival offerings. ‘With everything from Mercury award winning musicians, award garnering comedians, conjuring Magic circle members, cabaret and spoken word, the acclaimed Art Car Boot Fair, a new bespoke interactive art happening from The House of Fairy Tales and everything from hog roasts to the coconut king at Venn St Market – there’s something for everyone at The Apple Cart festival.’

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Who's Jack Issue 51  

Who's Jack Magazine

Who's Jack Issue 51  

Who's Jack Magazine

Profile for whosjack