U.S. needs a grand strategy after Libya
“The Walls” are broken down
Columnist Alex Brott calls for Obama to state a comprehensive rationale for American intervention in Libya. PAGE
WHITMAN NEWS, DELIVERED
Student writers and actors explore Walla Walla’s relationship to the Penitentiary in Harper Joy Theater’s latest production. PAGE
Walla Walla, WA whitmanpioneer.com
Admissions up despite push for smaller class
by SHELLY LE Staff Reporter
ecreasing admission rates for undergraduate colleges are a nationwide trend this year; however, Whitman College is the exception to this rule. In contrast to last year, where 46.7 percent of applicants were admitted, 51.5 percent of prospective students were admitted this year, exceeding 50 percent for the first time since 2003. In total, of the 3,208 applications received, 1,654 students were admitted. The increase in students admitted this year comes as a result of fewer Early Decision (ED) applications received and accepted. Because of this, the Admission Office has had to compensate by accepting more Regular Decision (RD) applicants this year than in most past years. For the Class of 2014, 127 students were accepted for ED enrollment, but this year the college had only accepted 86 students, meaning the office had to admit more RD students in order to end up with a reasonable class size. According to Dean of Admission and Financial Aid Tony Cabasco, the college wants to have approximately 405 students for the incoming class, which would make it smaller than the Class of 2014. However, yield — the number of accepted students who actually decide to attend Whitman — has been declining, forcing the Office of Admission to admit more students in order to meet this goal. “We want to have a smaller entering class; the goal is to enroll 405 new students,” Cabasco said. “In looking at the make up of the pool of admitted students, we think based on the trends regarding the mood of the ADMISSIONS,
by DEREK THURBER Editor-in-Chief
ome next fall, low-income Whitman students may be faced with new challenges in paying for college. In an effort to close a 5 billion dollar Washington State budget gap over the next two years, the 2011-2013 biennial budget discussed by the state legislature this week proposes major cuts to Washington State financial aid. The proposed budget, which was passed by the House of Representatives and sent to the Senate on Tuesday, April 5, would cut all funding for the Washington State Work Study Program and would decrease the available State Need Grants funds for private college students. Overall, it represents a total loss of 482 million dollars to colleges and universities across the state over the next two years. Even though this is just a small fraction of the total proposed 4.4 billion dollars in cuts statewide, the legislation could have a significant impact on Whitman students. Out of the total number of students who currently receive financial aid, five percent receive some sort of aid from Washington State Need Grants. According to Tony Cabasco, the Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid, Whitman currently receives 400,000 dollars in State Need Grands. Although the budget includes an increase of 101 million dollars towards State Need Grants in order to offset increased tui-
Activity courses teach, foster student involvement in sport by PAMELA LONDON Staff Reporter
hitman is renowned for its academic achievement, but one of the things that attracts many students to come to Walla Walla is our prominent outdoorsy nature. The Sports Studies, Recreation and Athletic (SSRA) discipline is a program that allows students to experience all that the great outdoors has to offer. Many students get involved in SSRA courses after going on a Scramble or taking a trip with the Outdoor Program. There are 18 SSRA courses to choose from, from beginning courses in rock climbing and kayaking to advanced courses such as River Guide Leadership and Wilderness First Responder (WFR). In addition to outdoor skills and leadership courses, SSRA offers lecture-based courses and basic skills courses in things like sports medicine and weight lifting. “SSRA courses offer Whitman students opportunities to pursue a variety of physical and recreation activities,” said Jennifer Blomme, varsity swim coach and member of the SSRA senior staff. “Students can gain instruction whether in a field they already have some exposure to or in an activity they
may never have tried before. With our lecture courses, students can also challenge themselves intellectually while considering issues pertaining to health, athletics and recreation.” For some students, the opportunity to take SSRA courses was a main reason for applying and eventually coming to Whitman. First-year Katie Parker admits that the attention paid to the outdoors on campus was her first reason for deciding to come to school here. “The reason I came to Whitman was all of the photos that I saw of people rafting and kayaking in the brochure,” said Parker. “[The brochure] also had a student to tree ratio! [great quote! put it right after your lead to make it about people from the get-go] It seems to me like Whitman tries to give students opportunities to balance their academic life with outdoor opportunities, and also to provide students with the opportunities to lead excursions.” One of the common ties for all of the SSRA courses is that the purpose of each course is to establish and build on a student’s leadership and basic training skills. In this way, Whitman takes its tradition for excellence SSRA,
tion costs for public schools next year, the budget changes how grants are determined, resulting in a decreased level of funding for private college students. “Instead of tying [State Need Grants] to the most expensive universities they want to tie it to the other universities whose tuitions are a bit cheaper,” Washington House of Representatives member Terry Nealy, R-Walla Walla, said. “What that means, then, is that the State Need Grants money available will not be as high for [students] attending private colleges as it will be for ones attending universities.” According to House leaders, this was done in an effort to offset the costs of supporting students attending public schools without overburdening the state, which is facing a 5 billion dollar budget gap. Some Representatives, however, disagree with this shift in policy. “I am not in favor of [this change],” Representative Nealy said. “I am considering putting an amendment in that would even that out so that the money to private colleges would be the same as that going to public universities.” President George Bridges and the other private college presidents from Washington State have taken proactive measure to try to counter this budget. “The presidents of the 10 private colleges in Washington State met in Olympia yesterday to work on communications we will be delivering to legislators this week in support of aid for students,” Bridges said. “The message we are
sending is that cutting aid from college students is mortgaging the future of the state. Aid to the neediest students is a small part of the state budget and reducing it will not help fill the fiscal hole reflected in the state deficit.” BUDGET CUTS,
Local ranch closure leads to uncertain future for sustainable meat
The door of Thundering Hooves’ Walla Walla store, which has closed permanently due to fianncial difficulties. PHOTO BY FENNELL
by RACHEL ALEXANDER News Editor
ast spring, while meeting with Whitman students on an environmental studies excursion, Thundering Hooves farmer Joel Huesby told the group, “Eating is an intimate act. Do you know your farmer?” One year later, Huesby has announced that Thundering Hooves is closing due to financial difficulties. With a familiar, local source of grass-fed meat gone from Walla Walla, many wouldbe conscious meat eaters are finding that the answer to Huesby’s question is an uncomfortable “no.” While there are other grassfed meat producers operating near Walla Walla, few have figured as prominently on the Whitman campus. Huesby’s meat was often found on
dinner plates, but his influence extended into the classroom. “Joel Huesby is really good at selling the idea of humane, sustainable beef production,” said Aaron Bobrow-Strain, assistant professor of politics. Bobrow-
Strain has brought his food politics class to visit Thundering Hooves for the past four years, and said that Huesby’s ability to get people excited about sustainable beef allowed him to reach people who might not otherwise think critically about their food. Professor of Environmental Studies Bob Carson, who took environmental studies excursions to Thundering Hooves, echoed this sentiment. “Joel is such a powerful speaker,” he said, adding that the Thundering Hooves trip was often listed as a favorite excursion by students. THUNDERING,
With Executive Council elections around the corner, The Pioneer examines ASWC demographics ... PAGE 5 while News interviews the candidates PAGE
E T VO
meet the ASWC EXECUTIVE
ASWC’s Executive Council elections take place Monday, April 11. The Pioneer asked president, vice president, finance chair and nominations chair candidates to answer questions about their views and what they would do if elected.
President and Vice President
What do you think is the biggest issue facing Whitman students right now and how would you work to fix it? ble to the student body in future decisions like 3-2 while spurring the development of new programs.
Matt Dittrich President Class of 2012
Our greatest issue is one of individual agency. We are the reason Whitman exists. We should be able to change Whitman for the better. Next year, I will work to increase student representation on college committees and governing boards, operationalize the student green fund and other student development funds, and increase campus communications -- in terms of number of forms and frequency. There is a tremendous difference between a town hall, set at a specific time and place, and a fireside chat with President Bridges broadcasted via Youtube. We need more of the latter.
Zach Duffy Vice President Class of 2012
Whitman students are feeling crunched -- by limited class selection, by over-enrolled courses, and by an over-reliance on inexperienced visiting professors, to name just a few problems, and it can often feel as if the administration isn’t listening to student concerns. That’s why, as ASWC VP, I want to survey every Whitman student on what they want out of their college experience in order to articulate a formal, comprehensive vision for Whitman’s future from the student perspective. The project will make Whitman more accounta-
firsthand student input to the administration. It is also important not to let the enormity of this issue detract from other concerns and potential projects of the student body -- ASWC has many representatives and can offer the student body more than advocacy on this one issue.
Maggie Appleton Vice President Class of 2013
The gaping divide between what we learn in the classroom and what we’re going to have to deal with the day after graduation. If you’re at Whitman you undoubtedly value education for its own sake; that has its place in life but you’ve got to strike a compromise with reality at some point. The majority of us will not be earning a living off publishing in academic journals and should prepare ourselves accordingly. I’m looking to instate practical education opportunities across the board to balance out our penchant for academia. This means more support for experiential internships -- especially internationally -- and a substantial increase in applied knowledge courses such as the O'Donnell lecture series.
Vice President Class of 2012
I think that the 3-2 switch, and the resulting course compression, is a very serious issue that truly affects all Whitman students. Now that the switch is complete, ASWC needs to continue its work with the faculty and administration to help address the specific issues the switch is causing for students. I think two specific issues that needs ASWC’s continued attention are ensuring that course compression is not making it difficult or impossible for students to complete majors, minors, or distribution requirements and also ensuring that enough entry level classes are available to allow students to
Vice President Class of 2012
What will you do to ensure a fair process for nominations?
In my time at W h i t man, 3-2 has provoked the most unified and clear response from the student body and for that reason alone, I would consider it the biggest issue facing our student body. I would push for new tenure track professor lines, courses offered in wider time slots, and continued
Ruby Glaser Nominations Class of 2012
I think there are two main factors required for
How would you hold students and organizations accountable for the way they use ASWC funds?
ensuring a fair nominations process: a well-rounded Nominations Committee and a diverse applicant pool. The Nominations Committee (a chair, two senators, and two appointed members) should be composed of students across years and involved in different activities on campus. This allows for many points of view to be accounted for when assessing applicants. A multifaceted committee also enables ASWC to reach greater numbers of diverse applicants. By working to ensure students from all over campus apply, we can guarantee a range of student perspectives are represented on college committees.
Adam Michel Finance Chair Class of 2012
I hope to strengthen the relationship between students, organizations and the Finance Committee by assigning committee members to audit fund recipients and continue the use of contracts when money is appropriated.
Nominations Class of 2012
My experience on the Nominations Committee has taught me how to conduct interviews in a fair and just manner. I will make sure that all interviews are of equal difficulty and I will ask questions of a similar level to each of the applicants. In the process of choosing the candidates I will look at all relevant aspects of the applicant – their application, their interview, their experience, their dedication and so on. Prior to conducting the interviews, I will talk to the students that currently hold each position. I will make sure I understand the qualifications of each position: what strengths are needed, and what credentials are necessary or encouraged in a candidate. From beginning to end, I will make sure to go about the nominations process in a reasonable, just and impartial fashion.
Finance Chair Class of 2012
One idea that has been used in the past is requiring a short write-up on the event, purchase, etc. that ASWC monies are allocated for (along with a photo). I think this sort of thing serves two purposes as it not only requires clubs/individual students to reflect upon the purchase itself, but it also gives ASWC a chance to actually see how it’s money is being spent. Along with that, these write-ups could be made available to the public either by way of posting them on the ASWC website or keeping them on file in the ASWC office in Reid. Read more ASWC Executive Council election coverage at whitmanpioneer.com PHOTOS BY VON HAFFTEN, CONTRIBUED BY CANDIDATES
WhitMUN returns from conference successful as new club by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter
hen prospective student Kayvon Behroozian met first-year Olivia Ware, an idea was born. Behroozian had come to Whitman College looking for a specific club, and when he found that it was no longer active, he decided to recreate it with Ware’s help. Now a first-year Behroozian and sophomore Ware have worked together to bring a Model United Nations club back to Whitman. In the past, Whitman has had a Model UN, but the club hasn’t been active for several years. Behroozian and Ware, both of whom were involved with Model UN at their respective high schools, felt that bringing it back to life at Whitman would be beneficial for the college. “It allows students to participate in a politics where the goal is collaboration and not winning. Delegates work together to try and find solutions to different issues,” Behroozian said. Conferences are central to Model UN, and allow students to learn about the specific policies and interests of a nation. Prior to attend-
Whitman’s Model United Nations club poses at the recent Nation Model UN_APEC conference in Washington, D.C. PHOTO CONTRIBUTED BY BEHROOZIAN
ing a conference, a Model UN chapter is assigned a country to represent and research. Students then act as the country’s representatives at the conference and work collaboratively on policy issues with other delegations. Through this process, club members become well-versed in their country’s policies, history and culture. Behroozian described that the club has helped him achieve better public speaking and research skills, and both Ware and Behroozian said that Model UN exposed them to the diversity of views in the world. “Since delegates are representing a different country at each con-
ference, they get to learn about many different parts of the world. Together, they work towards a goal to better understand the international community,” Behroozian said. Ware also spoke about diversity within the club itself. “The club has brought together people I wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise. Also, it’s a diverse group. Half of the members are part of minority groups, which is something Whitman doesn’t see often,” she said. Since its renewal, 10 of the club’s members have already had considerable success. On March 9, WhitMUN attended the Nation Mod-
el UN-APEC Conference in Washington D.C., which focused primarily on economic issues. The delegation was recognized in several award categories. Both Behroozian and junior Alice Minor received “Outstanding Delegate” awards, and the club as a whole received an honorable mention for “Best Delegation”. WhitMUN at the Nation Model UN-APEC Conference in Washington, D.C. Photo contributed by Kayvon Behroozian. Both of the club’s founders were thrilled with the results of the conference. “The club did fantastically at the conference, especially considering how little time we had to prepare,” Ware said. They had only held seven meetings prior to the conference. Behroozian believes that after doing so well with so little experience, the club is bound to do good things. First-year Jane Carmody, who joined Model UN because of her interest in international politics, was also pleased with the first conference. “It was well put together and just the right size for a good introduction. I had fun and learned a lot,” she said.
WHITMAN NEWS, DELIVERED
Editors-in-Chief Molly Smith & Derek Thurber
Production Manager Maggie Appleton
Business Manager Dhavan Vengadasalam
Managing Editor Alyssa Fairbanks
Production Associates Ted Hendershot, Miriam Kolker, Abigail Sloan, Meg Vermilion
News Editors Rachel Alexander & Josh Goodman
Chief Copy Editor Jenna Mukuno
Feature Editors Cara Lowry & Patricia Vanderbilt
Copy Editor Maggie Ayau
Sports Editors Libby Arnosti & Nick Wood
Opinion Editor Gary Wang Backpage Editor Diana Dulek Photography Editor Jack Lazar Illustration Editor Olivia Johnson Web Editor Ellie Gold
Marin Axtell, Faith Bernstein, Julia Bowman, Brandon Fennell, Ben Lerchin, Kendra Klag, Ethan Parrish, Marie Von Hafften
ILLUSTRATION Sam Alden, Jea Alford, Molly Johanson, Binta Loos-Diallo, Carrie Sloane, Jung Song, Markel Uriu
Alyssa Goard, Will Gregg, Karah Kemmerley, Shelly Le, Joe Volpert
A&E Taneeka Hansen, McCaulay Singer-Milnes, Kate Robinette, Will Witwer
FEATURE Hanna Kahl, Kelsey Kennedy, Maren Schiffer
Circulation Associates Leland Matthaeus, Kira Peterson, Junpei Tsuji
CODE OF ETHICS
Advertising Designer Brianna Jaro
Adam Brayton, Cari Cortez
Advertising Manager Anna Taylor
Andrew Hawkins, Tyler Hurlburt, Pamela London,
Founded before the turn of 20th century, The Pioneer is Whitman College’s weekly, student-run newspaper. With a circulation of over 1,200, The Pioneer serves both the Whitman College student body and its network of faculty, staff, parents and alumni as well as the local Walla Walla community. The Pioneer publishes a weekly issue of the latest news, arts and sports coverage and student editorials. The Pioneer is entirely student-run and serves as an open forum for the student body as well as an outlet for gaining journalistic experience at a school that has no journalism program. The staff receives guidance from a Board of Advisors, a group of campus and community leaders, including Whitman College faculty and staff with journalism expertise as well as members of the Walla Walla Union-Bulletin. The Pioneer strives to maintain the highest standers of fairness, quality and journalistic integrity and is governed by a Code of Ethics.
Alex Brott, Lissa Erickson, Bryant Fong, Blair Frank, Tristan Grau, Staten Hudson, Ami Tian
Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via e-mail to editors@ whitmanpioneer.com or sent to The Pioneer, Whitman College, 280 Boyer Ave., Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Sunday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for AP-style and fluency.
Webmaster Rebecca Fish
Advertising Associates Phuong Pham, Brian Vieth, Hailun Zhou
Carmody is excited about the potential to expand the club. “I’m looking forward to building a bigger foundation and getting more members. Maybe someday we’ll have a huge delegation,” she said. The club has several plans for the future. They hope to host a Model UN conference for high school students next year to showcase opportunities in Model UN for potential prospective students. Members are also hoping to attend a conference in Seattle and another in New York at the official UN headquarters next year. Behroozian believes that one of the club’s most important long-term goals is to become self-sufficient. He hopes that they can get to a point where they can pay for conferences without petitioning ASWC for money. Despite potential challenges, he remains optimistic about the club’s future. “The only place to go is up. The members we have are devoted now. They fell in love at the conference, and they can help to get more people interested,” he said.
The Code of Ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpretation of the Editorial Board. These guidelines are subject to constant review and amendment by the current Editor-in-Chief and Editorial Board. The Code of Ethics is reviewed at least once per semester. To access the complete Code of Ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.
For information about advertising in The Pioneer or to purchase a subscription please contact BUSINESS@WHITMANPIONEER.COM
Left: Hitomi Johnson shows Srija â€˜13 how to make an origami crane. Right: Daichi Kusano and Rino Miyazaki, visitors from Nagano University in Ueda City, Japan have been making origami cranes throughout the week. PHOTOS BY KLAG
Whitties fold cranes for Japan Whitman class trip to Japan cancelled by JOSH GOODMAN News Editor
early a month after a devastating magnitude 9.0 earthquake hit Japan on March 11, Whitman students and faculty are stepping up to help out. The nuclear fallout from the earthquake also led a class that was planning to go to Japan this summer to cancel last week. Throughout this week, students and faculty from the Asian Studies Department are tabling in Reid Campus Center during the lunch hours to make origami cranes to show goodwill. They are also raising funds for the Japan NGO Center for International Cooperation (JANIC).
The goal is â€œto make people aware on this campus of Japanese and to let Japanese people know that we care,â€? said Hitomi Johnson, adjunct instructor of Japanese. â€œI know some people say Japan is such a rich country, they donâ€™t need any aid, but there is such extensive damage that I think anything will help.â€? Johnson said the goal was to make 1,000 origami cranes, based on the Japanese legend that making 1,000 cranes can make oneâ€™s wishes come true. At the table with her were two students who experienced the earthquake -- Daichi Kusano and Rino Miyazaki from Nagano University in Ueda City, part of the Nagano prefec-
Higher admission rate considers projected decrease in yield from ADMISSIONS,
general public and whatâ€™s happening with the economy, we project that weâ€™ll have a lower yield overall.â€? Every year, the Admission Office has to make a projection of how many students it anticipates it will accept to Whitman depending on a number of factors ranging from studentsâ€™ ability to pay and the amount of financial aid given yearly. However, the college can sometimes be wrong in the predictions; often, more students are accepted than the college anticipates. â€œWe do our best to manage current trends, anticipate changes and plan accordingly every year, but sometimes our projections can be off,â€? Cabasco said. Evidence of this can be seen for Whitmanâ€™s current Class of 2014. According to Cabasco, it CORRECTIONS TO ISSUE 8 The first half of â€œTragedy transformed into balletâ€? on page 3 was not printed. To read the full article visit whitmanpioneer.com The illustrations accompanying â€œNew Dot System Proposedâ€? on page 1 should be credited to Markel Uriu. The illustration accompanying â€œPio editors suggest practical uses for the paper said paper is printed onâ€? on page 2 should be credited to Jung Song.
was predicted that around 415 students would enroll, but that prediction was exceeded with a total enrollment of 440, the largest incoming class the school has ever had. Numerous consequences have resulted from the larger class, including bigger intro-level classes and a higher discount rate. Because there have been more accepted students for the 2011-12 school year than the year before, both current and incoming students are worried about the possibility of the nature of Whitman changing with a potentially larger incoming class. â€œIt is worrisome if this is a trend that keeps increasing every year,â€? said incoming student Colin Brinton, who is currently a senior in high school. Sophomore Al-Rahim Merali, hopes that Whitman can afford to compete amongst other small liberal arts colleges if more students are accepted to and enroll in Whitman year after year. â€œWhat makes Whitman so marketable and such an attractive option for undergraduate education is that it is a small school and possesses a very tight sense of community, and Iâ€™m worried that if this trend continues then Whitman may be looked at differently as an institution,â€? he said.
Check out the Pioneerâ€™s coverage of the upcoming Undergraduate Conference at whitmanpioneer.com
ture of Japan. Here for a few weeks to improve their English skills, both were appreciative of studentsâ€™ efforts. â€œI experienced criticism from parents and friends for going abroad in this turmoil rather than contributing at home. To come over here and to participate in fund raising and to see people supported is encouraging,â€? Miyazaki said. â€œTheyâ€™re honored to participate and raise awareness; they feel like this is their purpose to be here,â€? added Johnson. The ultimate goal is to send the 1,000 cranes, along with the money they raise, to Japan. In contrast, one group of Whitman students will not be going to Ja-
Private colleges fighting budget cuts from BUDGET CUTS,
In addition to a change in State Need Grants, the proposed budget also cuts all funding for the Washington State Work Study Program. According to the Washington Higher Education Coordinating Board (HECB), this cut would represent a loss of an average 6,400 dollars in earnings, which equates to an average 25 percent increase in unmet costs of attending college for each needy student. HECB President Don Bennett further argued in a legislative report from March 14, 2011 that these cuts could have a greater ripple effect for both institutions of higher education and the state further down the road. According to that report, students who participate in part-time work study like those funded by the Washington State Work Study Program graduate more ready for a career after college. A loss in this funding, and thus these jobs, has the potential to negatively impact the public and private sector years down the road. Bridges echoed these concerns over the ripple effect of these cuts, believing that this increased cost of attendance could result in students having to drop out or transfer to cheaper, state schools. â€œIts really rather upsetting. About 70 Whitman students every year receive a pretty generous scholarship grant from the
,%* know? Jacobiâ€™s has the best selection of savory Italian dishes in the valley?
Satisfy Your Appetite!
Â‡ Thu Â Apr Â 7 Â | Â 7-Ââ€?10pm Â Â 2SHQ0LF 216 Â East Â Main Â St Walla Â Walla
Â‡ Sat Â Apr Â 9 Â | Â 2-Ââ€?3pm Â &DIHU 3-Ââ€?4pm Â .LW&UDZIRUG 6-Ââ€?8pm Â 7KH%6LGH
DINE ITALIAN TONIGHT!
At The Depot %$-""""- +++!% (%# Reservations Encouraged!
Â‡ Fri Â Apr Â 8 Â | Â 6-Ââ€?8pm Â Â 7KH&R\RWH.LQJV
Â‡ Sun Â Jazz Â CafĂŠ Â Apr Â 10 Â | Â 2-Ââ€?5pm +RW+HDGVRI *\SV\-D]]
no Â cover
Everyoneâ€™s treated like family at Jacobiâ€™s. Affordable prices and family atmosphere in Walla Wallaâ€™s historic train depot.
pan -- at least not this year. CrossCultural Psychology in Japan, a class being led by Assistant Professor of Psychology Deborah Wiese, was officially canceled on April 1. The group had planned to spend a week of intensive study at the Johnston Wilderness Center followed by two weeks of fieldwork around Japan this summer. Wiese said that she made the decision in consultation with Director of Off-Campus Studies Susan Brick and Provost and Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn based on Whitmanâ€™s policy of not sending students to places with a U.S. State Department warning. â€œBecause weâ€™re less than two months to the departure, we had to make a decision. Even if the State Department warning were lifted tomorrow, thereâ€™s still concerns,â€? Wiese said. Wiese, who is from Japan, said she was excited about offering the fieldwork course based on her experience in similar classes as an undergraduate. â€œThereâ€™s something different about taking an intensive class ... and bonding with a group,â€? she said. â€œYou donâ€™t have the distraction of Internet, you donâ€™t have the distraction of cell phones, you donâ€™t have the distraction of televisions. You can really take everything in.â€? Even though she thought it would probably be safe to go on the trip, she said that the mood of the country would likely affect the trip. â€œSome of the communities we are going to are still dealing with the disaster. They will welcome us, but I also know that their attention is currently focused on the disaster,â€? she said. For sophomore Charlotte Hill, who was scheduled to go on the trip, the cancellation was not surprising. â€œI was disappointed but not necessarily surprised,â€? she said. â€œIâ€™d been signed up for a pretty long time, we had heard what we were going to do, there would be homestays, which sound pretty cool.â€? Wiese, though, is optimistic that the class will happen next year instead. â€œItâ€™s very likely that this class will happen next year,â€? she said, noting that a grant for the class could be transferred to a future trip. â€œIâ€™m really hopeful.â€?
state because they come from needy families,â€? Bridges said. â€œIf they cut money from these students it will obviously hurt their chances to continue at Whitman.â€? The loss of tuition from students that drop out or transfer could also impact the collegeâ€™s budget, which relies heavily on tuition. Although Bridges expressed concerns over this legislation, he remains hopeful that important changes can still be made before the final budget is passed. â€œUltimately, the Senate and House must confer and come to an agreement over the budget and how the state will address the 5 billion dollar shortfall,â€? he said. â€œThere will be cuts in many programs and I am hopeful that student aid isnâ€™t one of the areas that is ultimately cut.â€? Although Representative Nealy agreed that cuts would hurt local students, he also emphasized that somebody is going to have to be affected by budget cuts. â€œOverall, there are pretty severe cuts out there to many programs. I donâ€™t like that,â€? he said. â€œWe are going to make people unhappy, but we are going to have to make some tough decisions if we are going to save our state financially.â€? The Senate is expected to release their counter-proposal budget later this week or early next week.
Co-Âop looks for new meat supplier from THUNDERING,
Ironically, Huesbyâ€™s ability to reach people may have contributed to Thundering Hoovesâ€™ downfall. According to him, the closure is the result of a dramatic increase in demand for Thundering Hooves meat, which went up 350 percent in the past year. As a result, the company expanded too quickly to keep up with repayments to creditors. â€œThe ability to finance that growth needs to come from earnings, not additional debt,â€? said Huesby in the Walla Walla Union-Bulletin. He added that he hopes to continue the Thundering Hooves idea in some other capacity in the future. Beyond the classroom, the closure will also impact the local food scene in Walla Walla. The Daily Market Co-op, which stocks Thundering Hooves meat, will be particularly affected. â€œWe wonâ€™t have a source for locally and sustainably farmed animals,â€? said senior Elizabeth Bragg, who serves as the co-opâ€™s volunteer coordinator. â€œItâ€™s really disheartening.â€? One of the co-opâ€™s most popular products is the Made in Walla Walla Box. Customers sign up to receive a box of local food weekly, choosing from options that include salad greens, eggs, bread and grains. As part of the box, customers can add-on a meat option, which gives them a cut of Thundering Hooves meat every week. Bragg said that most customers purchase the meat add-on, and replacing the amount of meat that Thundering Hooves was able to provide will be difficult. For regular customers, the closure has lead to uncertainty about food consumption. â€œItâ€™s a huge disappointment. Theyâ€™re the only good meat place I know of thatâ€™s available in Walla Walla,â€? said sophomore Henry Gales. Gales receives Thundering Hooves meat as part of his Made in Walla Walla Box, and typically consumes their meat for dinner four or five times a week. He said heâ€™s unlikely to eat less meat with their closure, but is unsure where heâ€™ll be able to buy ethically raised animals. Bobrow-Strain said that his family also eats Thundering Hooves meat regularly, and isnâ€™t sure what they will replace it with. He is also concerned that the closure might lead former Thundering Hooves customers to switch to supermarket meats which claim to be â€œnaturalâ€? but still use feedlots and have substandard labor and environmental practices. â€œI took students to a feedlot that was producing beef marketed as a â€˜natural alternative beefâ€™. Like most feedlots, it was feeding the cheapest feed possible. At that point in time, it involved bakery waste, which was crushed Oreo cookies,â€? he said. Bragg said that the co-op is currently working with Upper Dry Creek Ranch, which is based in Weston, Ore., to supply grassfed meat for Made in Walla Walla boxes. They are also working to find other local grass-fed producers. In the meantime, Bragg hopes that the closure will allow people to reflect on their food choices and meat consumption. â€œYou can still eat well, support local producers and not have Thundering Hooves,â€? she said. â€œMaybe this is a good incentive for people to have less meat in their diet.â€? Still, for loyal customers, moving on will be difficult. â€œThundering Hooves was a fixture,â€? said Gales. â€œI just never considered the possibility that it would be gone.â€?
umans versus Zombies (HVZ) is becoming an increasingly popular game both here at Whitman and on college campuses nationally; during this spring’s installment, which began this Sunday, April 3, the moderators (who are also players) have instituted a fair amount of
Revenge Zombies OF THE
changes for this round, which are designed to put an increased focus on being a zombie and not just a human. “It’s incredibly fun to be a zombie and stalk humans and chase them around, watch them run away from you across Ankeny,” said junior moderator Sam Schoenfeld. “We put a lot of focus [such as] buying Nerf guns [and] modifying them on being a human, but it’s important to remember that the game doesn’t work unless people are willing to be zombies as well.” Last fall, a recordsetting 265 players registered for HVZ, but perhaps because of this oversized game pool many players found the game too intense, according to junior Michael Schier, who is also a moderator. The spring game has historically been more intimate, since many
by WILLIAM WITWER Staff Reporter
first-year participants quickly give up playing in frustration when they become a zombie. In order to make being a zombie more appealing, the moderators have added a zombie listserv to allow for zombies to hunt difficult-to-kill humans, as well as missions where the zombies have objectives, not the other way around. “Instead of the humans having to do something, the zombies will have to do something and the humans have to hunt the zombies, which adds a very interesting dynamic,” said Schier. “The whole entire game, humans are trying to stay as far away from zombies as possible; this is like, ‘Well, now you have to go hunt zombies,” said Schoenfeld. Earlier in the semester, the moderators hosted Mission Day, a mini-version of HVZ where they tested out three different missions, which gave participants the opportunity to join both sides. Senior Sam Nortz, another moder-
ator, explained that on Mission Day, zombies were too afraid of Nerf darts to press their advantage. “Strategy-wise in the missions, I think that zombies need to be a lot less scared of Nerf darts,” said Nortz. “A Nerf dart is not going to kill you, it’s going to stun you, so a lot of the time zombies form this kind of Nerf perimeter and refuse to advance further. If we run a mission with a re-spawn point, you need to keep moving and keep attacking, because you can always go back to the re-spawn point and come back.” The moderators also used the occasion to refine their missions for the spring session of HVZ. They have also changed how this session will end: instead of letting the second week of the game drag on, there will be a final, extra dangerous mission for the humans, where those who survive will all be declared survivors, and the game will have a definite end. All of the changes are designed to make the game more fun to play for everyone. Though there are many styles
of play, Nortz hopes that regardless of how one approaches the game, players accept and even embrace the psychosis that comes with the game and just have fun. “You can play any way you want,” said Nortz. “You can play the stalk-from-bush-to-bush-withoutbeing-seen approach, or you can walk around carrying five Nerf guns [and
thinking] ‘nothing can touch me’. As long as you have fun doing it, as long as you embrace the paranoia that comes with this game, then it doesn’t matter.”
ILLUSTRATION BY SLOANE
Inaugural Instant Film Festival begins this weekend PIO PICKS by KATE ROBINETTE Staff Reporter
iven a camera, a set of guidelines and a weekend, interested Whitman College students will come together to create short films for Whitman’s inaugural 48-Hour Instant Film Festival. Beginning on Friday, April 8 at 5 p.m., the festival will give groups 48 hours to complete a seven-minute film. The films will be screened on the evening of the Undergraduate Conference and a panel of judges, along with the audience, will vote on the winner. Festival creators have come up with a character, one spoken line and one prop that all groups must include. Each group will also be assigned a film genre. Beyond that there are no limits. “I think it’s cool because as many people can be involved in it as [they] want,” said the festival’s creator, senior Heather Ferguson. Ferguson was inspired to bring
the festival to Whitman when she was abroad last year in New Zealand and had a roommate participate in the nation’s prodigious 48Hours Instant Film Festival. “I made it my goal to make something like that happen at Whitman this year. [The student body] seems like the proper crowd,” said Ferguson. The initial organization of the festival has not been as difficult as might be expected. “We just needed to find out where to get cameras from, create a set of rules that everybody has to abide by,” Ferguson said. Sophomore Hari Raghavan points out similarly that the hardest tasks were merely the mechanics and practicalities of organizing the event. “It’s definitely been a bit of a challenge to coordinate both the appropriate facilities for showing the final films and the equipment needed … not because there’s been any one person that’s objected to the
festival idea, but because there’s lots of scheduling to be done,” he said. But as the Cinema Arts director for WEB, Raghavan says he is always on the lookout for new and exciting ways to make productive use of film and filmmaking. “I find them each to be incredible mediums for self-expression and creative growth. So when another director, the incomparable Heather Ferguson, approached me with the idea of organizing an instant film festival, I jumped at the opportunity,” he said. Since this is the first year of the festival at Whitman, there will inevitably be unexpected difficulties and issues to deal with, such as formatting issues. To prepare for this, Ferguson and her team are training at the Multimedia Development Lab so they can assist participants who encounter trouble with the technical aspects of filmmaking. There are no rules as to who can participate, which students and festival creators find to be in-
vigorating but which also necessitates a certain degree of uncertainty in the process. There is no way of knowing how the screening on April 12 will pan out. Even Ferguson is herself not academically associated with film. “I’m a biology major, but I just thought it was a cool idea,” she said. “I liked being in the room ... when they were writing the script and there [are] just so many different aspects that go into it. Somebody makes music, there are people that write scripts, people that act, just so many different venues,” she said. Interested students should keep in mind that sign-up forms are available outside the WEB Office in Reid Campus Center and must be turned in before Friday, April 8 at 9 a.m. For more information, contact Heather Ferguson (email@example.com), Hari Raghavan (firstname.lastname@example.org) or Alexandra Schaffer (email@example.com).
‘The Dogs’ thrive on friendship, music
by MCCAULAY SINGER-MILNES Staff Reporter
ndie rock band The Dogs continue to develop and refine their sound on their new, more pop-oriented album “Camping”, which reflects a year’s worth of experience and musical growth. The band consists of Whitman senior Matthew Bachmann and three other members — James Krivchenia, Peter Walters and Rivkah Gevinson — who grew up in Chicago together with Bachmann. Their newest album, which released on March 1, combines and reworks demos that the members wrote while apart during their academic years. “We write all the songs when we are away from each other and converge in Chicago to record,” said Bachmann. The group recorded 13
songs over the summer, finetuning each track to create a consistent, unified sound. “When we came in with the songs, they were more pop-oriented and shorter (under 3 minutes),” said Bachmann. “We concentrated on getting a lot of bang for our buck and we concentrated on more lyrical narrative.” The band attributes their new sound to a change in musical influences. “We’ve shifted from super Neil Young influenced — so folk-rocky — to more pop, indie-rock influenced. Obviously, that will change the sound a lot,” said Gevinson. The band reworked songs until they felt they were polished enough to include on the album. “This is the first time we’ve felt that we’ve come out with a product that is really good. We rushed [other albums] because there is a natural tendency to want to fin-
Members of Chicago indie band The Dogs credit their success, despite long distances, to their friendship. PHOTO COURTESY OF VANESSA HADDAD
ish ... but this time we waited and took our time,” said Bachmann. The Dogs hope to continue making music despite the impending graduation of two of their
members. They have scheduled a multiple week August tour from Chicago to New York and hope to grow as a band through live performance. Members also look for-
Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: Jazz Ensemble Concert Whitman’s premiere Jazz I Ensemble along with current and former Whitman students will bid farewell to Professor of Music David Glenn during the ensemble’s final concert of the semester. Saturday, April 9, 7:30 p.m. Cordiner Hall. Writer’s Colony The Writing House invites students to rewrite history as part of this month’s Writer’s Colony. Prompts will involve changing book endings, recreating alternate historical events and more. Thursday, April 7, 9 p.m. 121 Otis Street. Guest Artist Concert Amy X Neuburg The Whitman College Music Department presents singer, composer and electronic musician Amy X Neuburg. Her layered compositions combine singing, speaking voice, electronic loops and samples and multiple musical genres. Sunday, April 10, 3 p.m. Chism Hall.
ward to sharing their music outside of the confines of the Internet. “You can only make so much noise on the Internet, and we’ve been getting some pretty good press, but you can only do so much when you are not playing shows,” said Bachmann. Despite the distance, the band has been able to stay together because of a friendship that transcends The Dogs. “Those are my best friends so it’s an awesome excuse to just be with them. The best part about it is you are always working and creating something, which makes summer so meaningful,” said Bachmann. Their music reflects the longstanding friendship that existed before The Dogs. “I think we have a lot of love for each other. It’s really different than being in, say, a band formed on Craigslist,” said Gevinson.
Walla Walla-‘Pen’ relationship explored through ‘The Walls’ by TANEEKA HANSEN Staff Reporter
he walls will be breached and the relationship between the Penitentiary and the Walla Walla community explored later this month in a performance piece researched, written and performed by a group of Whitman College students. “It always struck me as a fascinating topic that such a large prison existed in this small town. I was curious to learn more about its role here, and about the prison system in the U.S. generally,” said Assistant Professor of Theatre Cynthia Croot, director of “The Walls”. Croot collected a group of 14 student performers and writers to create a theatre piece called “The Walls” about the Walla Walla State Penitentiary. “So far the result has been quite a bit different than I thought it would be,” said junior Theo Pratt, a performer. “We do have some interview stuff … but there is a lot more than just interviews.” After interviewing everyone from correctional officers to Whitman professors and Walla Walla community members, as well as conducting research via the Internet and other sources on
prison history and policy, the entire ensemble brainstormed a new format for the performance. Then the writers took the material and wrote drafts of the script. “Writing’s never easy, but that’s what makes having four writers a little more easy,” said junior David Otten, a writer. “[But] also you have to be prepared to relinquish any creative ideas that you have.” The creative process of the show is still in full swing; currently the performers are exploring the scripts and integrating them with movementbased moments they created. “We had a gesture-off, coming up with different gestures that will be used both at the beginning of the piece in a very understandable way, and then are being incorporated later on in the performance in a more abstract way,” said senior Devin Petersen, a performer. Although the collaborative process facilitates fluidity, such as discussions between writer and actor, Pratt, Petersen, and Otten agreed that the process is a challenging one. “You have about 20 people in a room trying to construct a play as a committee, and that has been extremely difficult,” said Pratt. “And it’s inevita-
ble in a situation like that ... somebody has an idea that other people will like, [but] others don’t like.” The subject matter itself also makes the process more difficult. “Most of the ensemble comes from homes that have little to no intersection with the department of corrections in the U.S., so we’re speaking largely about concepts and realities that are foreign to us,” said Croot. The students were struck by what they discovered during their research and interaction with the prison, some by certain facts about the system, others by the more psychological components. “What has lingered with me is the fear of incarceration that we all have but we don’t think about often enough to have a huge impact on our lives. And thinking about it for every night at rehearsal, about the possibility of being incarcerated is really terrifying,” said Petersen. The group does not plan to present a particular take on the prison because, as both Petersen and Pratt stated, there are too many perspectives to present from just one angle. When asked about a core statement of the project, they said they wished to raise peoples’ awareness of their connection to the prison system.
Student writers and actors of “The Walls” discuss key passages within the script. Unlike other Harper Joy performances, the show will take place in alternate spaces, including Jewett Dining Hall and a bus. PHOTO BY KLAG
“[The prison system is] largely hidden to people who don’t intersect with it. We think it doesn’t affect our lives,” said Croot. “It does, in ways both overt and somewhat obscure.” The performance setting of “The Walls” will be unique as well. With Harper Joy Theatre unavailable due to construction, “The Walls” will start with a bus tour and then return to Jewett Dining Hall for the re-
mainder of the performance. “[Jewett’s] very communal but at the same time it’s kind of stark, in a way; it’s not home,” said Petersen. “I’m very curious to see how an audience is going to react to a performance on a bus and in the dining hall.” The performances will take place April 13-17. Tickets are available Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Harper Joy box office and are free for students.
E D Y N A S T Y V S C H O I C E W T A S D E M O C R A C Y E T T R L S E N A T O R T N C T E E How representative is ASWC of the Whitman student body? 1
49 57 61
ole ASWC presidential candidate Matt Dittrich has a lot in common with his predecessors — he’s male, belongs to a college fraternity and has been involved in student government since his first year of college.
ing female peers to run for office, and mentoring female peers once elected,” he said in an e-mail. Though Executive Council is currently made up of six men and three women, Communications Chair junior Caroline Koehler does not think that the male presence is overpowering. “Despite the greater number of men than women on Execu-
community service over student government is a common trend among women at Whitman. “ASWC has tended to be a male-dominated organization but I don’t think that’s because of institutional sexism. I think a lot of it is our gendered perspective on what civic engagement looks like. Women on campus tend to be more involved in
Gender representation in disequilibrium For each of the last five years, a man has held the position of ASWC President and there were no female candidates for the position in 2010 and 2009. The last woman to serve as ASWC president was Amy Kunkel-Patterson in the 2005-2006 school year according to Leann Adams, assistant director of Student Activities and adviser for ASWC. For Adams, this trend of male over-representation on ASWC is problematic, though she sees it as symptomatic of gender inequalities that persist far beyond Whitman. “I’m not sure what the solution is. I’m not happy or comfortable with it but I don’t think there’s a quick fix either. We need more women’s voices at the table, but it’s such a systemic issue that a single person can’t change it.” Dittrich agrees that the gender imbalance in ASWC is indicative of a much broader issue and actively tries to foster a diverse environment on ASWC. “Gender equality must be achieved. We must actively pursue it. In my pursuit, I have found the most effective means to this end has been, quite frankly, ask-
tive Council, I don’t feel like the male voice is more dominant than the female voice. Also, there are more females on ASWC this year then there were last year, and it’s Whitman, so everyone is really respectful of one another,” she said. Adams hopes that this question will be pushed further in discussion both on ASWC and with the broader Whitman community. “I’ve heard it brought up as an issue from individual members but I haven’t heard a group conversation about it [in ASWC]. ASWC needs to lead the conversation and bring in lots of outside voices,” she said. Senior Nina Neff, who served as a senator for the junior class, introduced a resolution last year to improve sexual assault reporting practices on campus, an initiative that she’s not sure would have been introduced from a male member of ASWC. “All the guys were really supportive of the resolution but I think it took a woman to launch it. Women bring different concerns to the table.” Neff chose not to continue with her involvement in ASWC this year in order to take a bigger leadership role volunteering at the local women’s shelter. She thinks this choice to do
community service and men are more involved in government. Maybe because men have greater accessibility to politics it interests them more,” she said.
by KELSEY KENNEDY and MAREN SCHIFFER
A self-selective organization? Oversight Chair sophomore Margaret Yang describes ASWC as a body where positions are often symbolical-
ly passed down to underclassmen friends and sometimes fellow fraternity or sorority members. “There are so many Greeks in ASWC because when you start advertising and recruiting new candidates you try to get your friends to run, so some positions are kind of inherited,” she said. Koehler admits that while she did student government in high school, getting involved in ASWC did not occur to her until an upperclassmen sought her out and suggested she run for senate as a first-year. Neff notes that some level of recruitment is natural. “It makes sense that people who know what student government looks like would recruit future members of ASWC.” Mentorship between moreand less-experienced members of ASWC can sustain momentum through multiple years and ensure that there is a qualified applicant in each election. But therein lies the issue some members of the student body raise about Whitman’s student government: a single candidate groomed by the previous holder of the position doesn’t exactly spell democracy. To some, the phrase “insider’s club” is more appropriate. “I wouldn’t say that [ASWC] is an insider’s club, but as young people become accustomed to it, they learn valuable things that would help them in more advanced positions,” said first-year senator Brian Choe. Sophomore representative Alex Brott echoed these sentiments. “I don’t see being in ASWC as a pre-requisite for having a higher-up position in
it. But I imagine it would really help to know the limitations and functions of it to know how to get things done,” he said. Both first-year Chelsea Darlington and Choe also said that it is not the surface level connections that are helpful in the long term, but rather the advice that upperclassmen have to give. Out of eight students asked, five said they would prefer our school president or vicepresident to have had prior experience in ASWC. “I would rather vote for someone who has been in ASWC because I’m pretty happy with what ASWC is doing. I don’t see a reason to “rock the boat” and think the more experience a vice-president has, the better,” said first-year Annique Rice. Adams argues that ASWC’s process of encouraging increased leadership from within is a strength and something that all organizations do at some level. “There is a deliberate conversation that happens about how young leaders are raised within the organization and I think those conversations have a ton of value. There are always arguments for new blood, but do you want someone as your president who has never held a position in ASWC before?” However, Neff thinks that there are ways to recruit more strategically, mindful of the need for greater diversity. She notes that international students are another less-represented group on ASWC. “When ASWC members recruit they should try to deliberately step outside of their comfort zone and look for people not in their social network.”
INFOGRAPHICS BY HENDERSHOT
On the tennis court fence a lone campaign poster falls victim to Walla Walla weather. This year’s presidential race is uncontested: there are four vice-presidential candidates. Elections for ASWC Executive Council will be held Monday, April 11. PHOTO BY KLAG
Women’s golf wins, aims for NWC top spot by TYLER HURLBURT Staff Reporter
he Whitman College women’s golf team made history on Sunday, April 3 at the Northwest Conference Spring Classic golf tournament when the young but talented women hit their way to the school’s first ever victory in one of the three NWC tournament majors. The team’s performance puts them in a great position to win the conference championship. First-year Catelyn Webber is very proud of the team’s accomplishments. “It felt amazing to be able to clinch our first ever win, and the school’s first win,” Webber said. “Just to be a part of Whitman’s history feels incredible.” The Missionaries, who trailed George Fox University by one stroke after the first day of competition, bettered the Bruins by two strokes on Sunday to give them a one stroke win, 679-680. Whitworth University came in third with 718. First-year golfer Katie Zajicek earned top tournament honors, shooting six strokes lower than her nearest opponent. This victory, along with a fourth place finish at the NWC Fall Classic, lands Whitman in a tie for second place in the conference standings with 11 points. George Fox is in the lead with 13. As the last of the three major tournaments, the NWC Championship counts for double the points of each of the first two, meaning that with a strong performance Whitman could win the conference title — and an automatic berth to nationals. A second place conference finish could also earn the team a nationals
spot by placing them in contention for an at-large bid, which Whitworth received last year. The team’s success comes while only having six women on the roster: two sophomores and four first-years. Even though the team is small, it has grown from where it was only a couple of years ago. Sophomore Caitlin Holland feels that despite the team’s modest roster, they are still competitive with the best teams in the conference. “There wasn’t a full roster until last year,” Holland said. “For being such a young team, we have a good chance of getting second or winning [the conference].” The team has also been able to learn from their struggles at tournaments earlier in the season. Whitman lost its lead at the SoCal Dutch Invitational on March 15 by shooting 22 strokes worse on the second day of the tournament. First-year Elaine Whaley feels that the team used that performance as a learning experience. “California really taught us how to finish a tournament when you are in the lead, or extremely close,” Whaley said. “The tournament also taught us how to perform under pressure, which was definitely helpful in the Spring Classic.” The fact that the team is so small provides some very strong advantages — it fosters an extremely tight-knit atmosphere where the women can hold each other accountable. “We are all really close,” Holland said. “Everybody came here to play golf, which is nice because when we do well, everybody is really, genuinely happy, and
SCOREBOARD Baseball vs. Pacific Lutheran 4/2
win; 4-2 loss; 7-0
vs. Pacific Lutheran 4/3
Tennis MEN'S vs. Pacific 4/2 vs. Whitworth 4/3
win 8-1 win; 9-0
WOMEN'S vs. Pacific 4/2 vs. Whitworth 4/3
win; 7-2 loss; 6-3
NWC Men’s Spring Golf Classic 4/2-3
NWC Women’s Spring Golf Classic 4/2-3
Katie Zijacek ‘14 practices her drive. Zijacek was named NWC Student Athlete of the Week for leading the women to their first top tournament finish in Whitman’s history.
UPCOMING EVENTS Baseball
PHOTO BY PARRISH
when we do poorly, everybody can comfort each other because we have all been there before.” Webber looks to this team support as playing a role in their win at the Spring Classic. “I think this tournament we really came together as a team and we all truly saw that we were ca-
pable of taking first,” Webber said. “We were there for each other and really supported each other.” The Whitman women next play on Saturday, April 9 at the Whitman Women’s Golf Invitational at Columbia Point Golf Course in Richland, Wash.
home; apr. 9
home; apr. 10
Tennis MEN'S vs. University of Puget Sound vs. Pacific Lutheran University
TENNIS SERVES UP HOME WINS
home; apr. 9 12 P.M. home; apr. 10 10 A.M.
WOMEN'S vs. Bellevue College
With bright spandex flair, Elise Otto ‘11 and Alyssa Roberg ‘13 won the top doubles match 8-3 against Pacific University Saturday, April 2 during the women’s last home match of the season. Otto also won her singles match, finishing up a strong home season as Whitman’s #2 ranked player. The women won the match 7-2. The Whitman men rolled to a pair of sound victories (9-0, 8-1) in two split-squad matches against Whitworth Sunday, April 3. Etienn Moshevich ‘11, pictured right, teamed up with Jeff Tolman ‘13 to win the No. 2 seed doubles match 8-2. PHOTO BY BERNSTEIN
vs. Pacific University
vs. Pacific Lutheran University
vs. University of Puget Sound
Whitman Men’s away; apr. 9 Golf Invitational WOMEN'S
Whitman Women’s Golf Invitatonal
away; apr. 9
PHOTO BY KLAG
DAY IN THE LIFE
Women’s tennis senior envisions self as ninja contributed by ELISE OTTO edited by NICK WOOD Sports Editor
very few weeks, The Pioneer’s Sports Section takes a look behind locker rooms left slightly ajar. This week, a senior tennis player battles volleys, ladybugs and mineralogy homework. Day 1 6:00 a.m.: Alarm set for morning practice goes off. Morning practice ended two weeks ago, but the only time I remember to change the alarm is at this ungodly hour. I am lucid enough to observe a red black-dotted insect on the tip of my nose. I make a note to do something about my room’s ladybug infestation and to
change alarm. I fall back asleep. 8:40 a.m.: Wake up again, roll out of bed, pick several ladybugs off my pillow and head for geophysics. I stop outside to release the bugs. Still can’t bring myself to kill them. 11:50 a.m.: Exit science building after tenuous battle with mineralogy homework. Grab lunch (bread, carrots, peanut butter), tennis clothes, rackets and shoes, and head for Bratton to hit with Jedi coach. 12:05 p.m.: I realize I’ve misplaced cell phone and swipe card. Stand outside Bratton in the rain banging furiously on the door until Jedi coach opens it for me. We work on a slice-volley sequence for an hour before we have to vacate the courts for a class.
Registration is now open.
6:35 p.m.: Three firstyears have still not arrived for 6:30 p.m. practice. Make note to arrange friendly big-sister chats about being on time. 6:45 p.m.: Last first-year arrives. Jedi Coach reads extract from Bay Area Sports Psychologist’s new book, “The Way of the Champion: Lessons From Sun-Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’ and Other Tao Wisdom For Sports and Life” to prepare us for this weekend’s matches. “Envision yourself,” he tells us. I envision myself in full ninja garb. 8:30 p.m.: Finish up practice. Head for the library to churn out thesis figures. 10:15 p.m.: Skulk home with intentions of bed, only to find several housemates passionately singing Gillian Welch songs about dying, fiddle and guitars in hand. I run upstairs for my C key harmonica and harmonize. 12:13 a.m.: Fall asleep without bothering to clean out ladybugs. Day 2 6:30 a.m.: Same as Day
1. I curse my passivity as I pick a ladybug out of my ear. 10:18 a.m.: Wake up for real from surreal dream about playing senior league tennis with my exlover’s father. My post-college tennis career looks glum. Head downstairs to find steel-cut oats waiting for me on the stove. I text the tennis team’s badass Montanan. “Wanna dress like ninjas for practice?” She texts back, “hell yeah.” 10:45 a.m. – 2:09 p.m.: Intermittently attend class, work on homework and hold “serious” discussions about timeliness with tennis first-years. 2:10 p.m.: I rush home from the science building brainstorming ninja masks as I go. 2:11 p.m.: I throw on a purple unitard and begin cutting ninja masks. Three T-shirts in, I’ve made two reasonably good masks. 2:31 p.m.: Grab rackets, backpack, etc. and head for Bratton at a fast jog, regretting the heartfelt discussions of timeliness I had earlier this afternoon.
2:34 p.m.: Blinded by my ninja mask, I trip over a root in front of Cordiner and face plant in full ninja garb. I feel a sharp throbbing pain in my ankle. 2:35 p.m.: I call Jedi Coach to tell him I rolled my ankle and am going to be a few minutes late. “Why don’t you just go straight to the trainers?” he asks, but I assure him I’ll be there in a few. Ninja must practice. 2:37 p.m.: Limping up to Bratton. Badass Montanan is waiting outside. We don our masks, run (hop) onto the courts and begin to battle. The team is mildly amused at our antics. I avoid eye contact with all first-years. 3:00 p.m.: After hitting for 20 minutes I head over to the trainers to get my ankle examined. The trainer looks skeptically at my purple unitard and suggests ice. I limp home to pick up my backpack and then head for the science building. Recap: Two false alarms, one rolled ankle, zero murdered ladybugs.
SSRA courses foster new interest in sport, broaden knowledge from SSRA,
Session I May 16-June 24
Session II June 27-August 5
Summer Sessions at Lewis & Clark go.lclark.edu/college/summer
and leadership in the classroom and translates those skills to outside of the classroom, as well. Any and all Whitman students can participate in SSRA courses, whether they are varsity athletes looking to maintain fitness during the offseason or someone wanting to learn how to use free weights in the gym. It’s all about the personal connections that students can find with different SSRA courses, and that is what helps enrich their time at Whitman. “SSRA courses benefit varsity athletes in the same way they do the general student body,” said Blomme. “[Varsity athletes] may
have different goals for themselves in those courses, but ultimately they are broadening their physical horizons in just the
Students challenge themselves intellectually while considering issues pertaining to health and recreation JENN BLOMME, SWIM COACH, SSRA STAFF
same way their classmates are ... A class such as Sports Medicine would be especially fascinating to a student who has
worked through an athleticallyrelated injury. Similarly, someone who has been involved in outdoor recreation through Scrambles or other experiences might find a personal connection to the material covered in our Outdoor Leadership course.” The bottom line is that SSRA courses offer Whitman students a chance to pursue their love of the outdoors or discover that love to begin with. It does not matter what your background is, there is almost certainly an SSRA course to suit your interests. Oh, and that student-to-tree ratio? It has been documented as 1:3, so Whitties are outdoorsy with a campus to match.
These six tips will improve your presentation skills BLAIR FRANK Columnist
ith the Whitman Undergraduate Conference looming on the horizon, I figured I would take this opportunity to educate people (especially presenters) in the ways of making good presentations. To that end, I have several suggestions to help improve the quality of your presentation from start to finish. 1. Have an interesting subject. Now, I realize that it may be a little late to salvage a really bad topic, but the key here is to come up with an awesome title. The purpose of a good title is to draw people to your talk. By means of example, which of these talks would you rather attend? “An
in-depth examination of clerical critique in ‘Moby Dick’” or “Whale Penises and Priests: Herman Melville’s attack on the clergy in ‘Moby Dick’”? Same talk, different title. The first problem you have to tackle as a presenter is getting people to sit their asses down in front of you. Thus, you need a good title. 2. Give me a reason to stay in my seat. Okay, so once your fantastically compelling title has piqued my interest and I have decided to come listen to what you have to say, it’s your job to keep me in the seat. In that regard, there are two very important things you should be doing. The first is simply being enthusiastic about what it is that you are presenting. I often get really physical when I’m presenting — walking around, waving my arms and raising my voice, but even if you’re not inclined to go to those extremes, being visibly excited by what you have to say will go a long way. Second, make sure to tell your audience where you’re going with your remarks, preferably between 10-20 percent of the way through
UK pub culture pro- motes social drinking AMI TIAN Columnist
ne of the most significant differences, at least in terms of my day-to-day life, between the U.K. and the United States is that the drinking age in the U.K. is 18 as opposed to 21 in the United States. Since I’m underage in the States it’s hard to compare the legal drinking scene of the U.K. to that of the U.S.; I could try to compare pub culture to bar culture, but not having spent much time in bars, I don’t have much basis for comparison. What I can remark on, though, is what part drinking seems to play in the culture here. The typical thing said about Europe is that since the legal drinking age is much younger, drinking isn’t that big a deal, so young
7:00 p.m.) is because the pubs are open. Like a coffee shop, a pub functions as a third space between the workplace and the home. And while Londoners aren’t quite as British as the rest of England (just as New Yorkers aren’t quite as American as the rest of America), for the most part Londoners aren’t the workaholics that Americans are known for being. I’m not including people who work in the city of London, who work 14hour days and are actually insane. Londoners might not be headed to a coffee shop as late in the evening because they’d rather relax with a beer rather than with a cappuccino, which might not actually help you relax, but (at least in my case) might just serve as a break from work with the intention of returning — an excuse to work harder, later. Still, so far I’ve
ILLUSTRATION BY LOOS-DIALLO
people are less likely to abuse alcohol when they come of legal age. Children grow up drinking wine with their parents at dinner — it’s not a forbidden substance, some magical elixir exclusively for grownups. The U.K., however, seems to have escaped that stereotype and is known for being a nation of alcoholics and binge-drinkers. I talked to some northerners who speculated that the heavy drinking might have to do with the weather; if the weather’s bad, it becomes easier to shut yourself inside and drink because there isn’t much else to do. That seems reasonable, but then how do you explain why in the winter you’ll find people standing outside of pubs shivering and clutching their pint glasses with gloved hands? Or why you’ll still find bingedrinkers in London even though the weather’s not that cold (although we do have our share of rainy days)? I blame that fine British (and Irish) institution known as the public house. While economic factors such as the cheapness and availability of alcohol undoubtedly factor into the equation, I think that excessive drinking may be more culturally acceptable here because drinking is such a central part of social life. Pubs are open from noon and often offer free Wi-fi. You can sit with your laptop and a pint and do work. Have a pint with your lunch — pub grub will often include, at the very least, pies, chips and bangers and mash. Have another pint after lunch for kicks. Have a pint at four in the afternoon. Have a pint, or two, or three, in the evening before going clubbing, if you’re into clubbing — if not, hang around and drink some more. I can understand why the English might be drunks, but seriously, why isn’t everyone in this country horribly fat? Part of why I suspect coffee shops close so early here (as early as 5:00 p.m. sometimes, but usually around
only described how the British drink socially. Why do I associate pubs with heavy drinking? The focus of the pub, in addition to providing a casual atmosphere in which to socialize, is to let people drink. Although food is offered at pubs, the food is offered alongside the alcohol rather than the other way around. You don’t just go to the pub to hang out; you go to the pub to drink and hang out — the drinking part is essential. Drinking and socializing are nearly one and the same. In that respect, it’s easy to reason that the more you drink, the more fun you have — although that may not necessarily be true in all cases, it’s not entirely untrue, either. Back in the States there’s a similar perceived correlation between fun and alcohol. I don’t have the numbers for it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we did a fair amount of binge-drinking ourselves. The main difference between drinking in the U.K. and in the United States would be that the U.K. has a public social space for drinking that is thoroughly present and embedded in its culture, the downside of which may be increased binge-drinking, but the upside of which is that pubs are actually nice places to spend time in. The existence of the pub also promotes healthy, truly social drinking, the kind of socializing that occupies the middle ground between the temporary relief of a coffee break and the oblivion of a night of binging (which could almost be described as anti-social drinking). The focus of the pub is on the drink and the conversation rather than on the drink and the game of Beirut used to facilitate the consumption of more drinks. When I go back to the States, it’s not the drinking itself I’m going to miss — it’s the space, that fine institution, the public house. Ami Tian is a rhetoric and film studies major studying abroad in London. She misses peanut butter, macaroni and cheese and having money.
your allotted time. If you’re five minutes into a 15-minute presentation, and I can’t coherently say where you’re headed, that’s a problem. 3. Speak to everyone in your audience. I know the paper you’ll be presenting was developed in a class here at Whitman. Odds are, that class included some form of advanced terminology that helped in understanding the subject matter. You could talk about an infinite regress of moved movers and not have anyone bat an eyelash. Here’s the problem: not all of the people attending your talk will be familiar with the jargon. What’s obvious to you after a semester or two of study may not make sense to a layperson. Explain the advanced concepts you use. 4. Don’t fall into PowerPoint’s traps. PowerPoint is a wonderful tool for creating engaging multimedia presentations that can delight people in the audience ... if you manage to avoid the traps that the program sets for you. First and foremost, avoid bullet point slides if at all possible. It’s easy to start reading off them in-
stead of presenting. That’s boring. Instead, use slides that will act as visual punches to accent your words. Key phrases and pictures work well. Second, make sure that the background of your slides won’t be distracting. A presenter at the Global Studies Symposium put images and text on top of an eyeball-searing lime green background. I spent more time thinking about that background than I did thinking about her presentation. Don’t let that happen to you. Finally, be careful with your use of transitions. Too few, and your presentation can seem monotonous and boring. Too many, and you’ll distract your audience. Sounds are a supremely bad idea. My best advice here is to use simple, minimally flashy transitions and animations, except when absolutely necessary. 5. Organize, organize, organize! As a presenter, rambling will be the death of you. Structure your presentation in such a way that you keep moving forward. There was another presenter at the Global Studies Symposium who stood at a podium and spoke seemingly at ran-
dom in a monotone. That’s a great way to get your audience to tune out. Incidentally, that’s part of why I like PowerPoint so much. It forces you to structure your presentation in a meaningful and mindful way. 6. Give me a message to take home. I want to feel like I’ve learned something from my time listening to you. Papers have conclusions, so why should your presentation be different? Another important tidbit: that message should be pithy and easy to remember, so that I can file it away in my brain for future reference. Something like: “Just remember, bringing a longsword to a street duel is a really bad idea.” So there you have it: six easy ways to make your presentation markedly better. It just takes a little extra effort to turn something that could be a total snoozer into a riveting learning opportunity. Blair Hanley Frank is an English major and the technology columnist for The Pioneer. He also writes for PCWorld’s GeekTech blog, and can be found on Twitter as @belril.
Less U.S. involvement better for Libya J. STATEN HUDSON Columnist
ith a military already stretched thin fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and support for the wars reaching historic lows, it seems that the last thing the United States would want to do is involve itself in another costly foreign excursion. But the United States is acting in its best interest by supporting the rebellion in Libya; that is, so long as it maintains its decidedly hands-off approach. The decision to enforce a no-fly zone over Libya and cut off Moammar Gadhafi’s ability to strike at rebels from the air was made on March 24 by the NATO alliance with the full support of the United States. The issue was hotly contested, with British and American leaders cautioning that the imposition of a no-fly zone constituted the first front in a war with Gadhafi. It was only when Gadhafi’s forces began to make significant inroads into the rebel city of Benghazi that NATO decided to act. If Gadhafi won, went the rationale, it might deflate rebellions simmering across the Middle East and take away the region’s best chance at democratic reform. The U.S. supported the NATO decision because the push for worldwide democra-
cy has both a social and an economic impetus for our nation. On a social level, the U.S. is firm in its belief that democracies are the fairest form of social governance and that they allow individuals the best opportunity to improve themselves. By helping nascent democracies, the U.S. is helping to give people in other nations a chance at the advantages its own citizens take for granted. On an economic level, the U.S. prefers to trade with fellow democracies because they tend to be less corrupt and more open, with systems already in place to ensure accountability and fair play. Having more democratic nations in the Middle East is therefore desirable for the United States. Still, President Obama was reluctant to support the Libyan rebellion until the rebels looked on the verge of defeat. Even then, Obama was careful to gain an international consensus before committing US forces to the war with Gadhafi. Obama’s actions signal not only his belief that democracy is something that the Libyan people must win for themselves, but also that the go-it-alone impulse of the previous administration is an inappropriate way of conducting foreign policy. Obama’s model, I argue, is the better one. Not only does it mean that countries other than the United States and its closest allies are required to share the burden of enforcement, but it also makes the United States look better in the eyes of the occupied country. While some in the media have tried to paint Obama’s belated decision to support the rebels as indecision, it was actually prudence on
his part. Undoubtedly he wants the rebels to succeed. But, importantly, he wants the victory to belong to the rebels, not the U.S. or NATO. This is essential because if Libyan democracy looks like a Western imposition, it will be immediately discredited in the eyes of many Libyans and will struggle to gain a footing in the country. Once elected, the democratically-elected government would have a hard time shaking the image that it was essentially a puppet government of Western powers. This is the problem encountered by Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki. Even though Iraq is fully sovereign, many Iraqis view his government as essentially controlled by the United States. The best thing that the U.S. can do is to follow the model it used during the South African transition to full democracy. There, US diplomats and scholars helped to draft the new constitution and provided logistical support, but did little else. I think a similar model would work well in Libya and would make the revolution the result of the actions of Libyans, not outside forces. There is hope for democratic Libya and a democratic Middle East. The impetus just needs to come from the citizens of Libya and those residing in the Middle East — not the United States, France or Britain. Staten Hudson is an English major with a passion for both Shakespeare and the stock market.
After Libya, Obama must clearly articulate a grand strategy ALEX BROTT Columnist
ecent events in the Middle East clearly demonstrate that the international political landscape is changing rapidly, and the United States must decide how it will position itself through these changes. President Obama has already spoken on this topic, approving missile strikes and a no-fly zone over Libya in conjunction with a UN Security council resolution. Obama made the right choice to intervene in Libya. The decision came down to Qadhafi’s threat of a massacre against his own people, broad international support, and the opportunity to provide humanitarian aid to rebel groups. These reasons are sound. However, it is crucial that Obama articulate concrete goals for how he will deal with future conflicts which will undoubtedly arise in the region. Many scholars have discussed the merits of maintaining an “Obama Doctrine”, or specific outline of foreign policy goals to be used across the board. This doctrine strategy, however, would fail to address the complexities of specific situations in the Middle East and would be of little use in such a complicated political landscape. Yet, Obama must still maintain a solid
position on how he wants to proceed with the unfolding situation. Libya was described by Obama as a special case for intervention because of the “prospect of violence on a horrific scale.” However, this cannot be a cornerstone of his foreign policy because it would justify intervention in places such as Sudan or Rwanda, where genocide has killed countless more than Qadhafi’s attacks on Libyans. In response, Obama goes on to say that in Libya “we had a unique ability to stop that violence.” I am unimpressed by this rationale, as it denotes that action in Libya was permissible because it was convenient. As a prominent world power, America should uphold its policies and principles regardless of whether or not it is convenient to do so. The Middle East is too important, both strategically and in terms of potential human rights abuses, to be inconsistent in policy. Obama in his foreign policy has stated specifically that “the American people and the United States have an interest ... in making sure that where a brutal dictator is threatening his people ... to do something about that.” Moreover, Obama has repeatedly made “soaring pronouncements about supporting democracy and fostering international human rights” and now acted on these pronouncements in Libya. It seems irresponsible, then, to not act in potentially similar situations in the Middle East as they arise. Clashes in Syria, Yemen, Iran and more have left dozens dead, and unrest seems likely to continue for some time. These countries are significantly more important to America’s strategic in-
terests in the region than Libya, so a policy of intervention, once necessary, seems appropriate. Libya should be used as a precedent to establish a role for America in the current uprisings. Although we will not forcibly topple dictators (which Obama has promised to not do), we can take firm action on the side of freedom-seeking citizens and help usher in a new phase of U.S. foreign policy. A country like Syria, for example, could provide an important overlap between moral interest in human rights to freedom and pragmatic strategic foreign policy goals. Syria is an important ally to Iran and has actively supported Hezbollah and Hamas, among other terrorist groups. The fall of the country’s single party, which has maintained a state of emergency since 1963, would not only boost human rights in Syria, but benefit U.S. interests in the whole region. Obama needs to lay out a clear and definitive policy on Middle East intervention before taking further action in the region. While Libya provided a clear case for action, situations in other countries may not be so cut and dry. That being said, a precedent has been set in Libya, and Obama would be wise to take advantage of this opportunity to change the course of U.S. foreign policy and support popular uprisings which would support an American agenda of democracy and human rights. Alex Brott is an environmental studies-politics major who is passionate about politics, economics and the environment. He enjoys anything outdoors and making music.
Riding with Randos With summer coming up, the Backpage has noticed most Whitties are starting to think about their ride situation and how they are going to get home. Given that the majority of students are seeking rides to Seattle or Portland, odds are that a good amount of Whitties will end up having to hitch rides with strangers. To prepare students for this, the Backpage has compiled a list of helpful suggestions: Nobody likes a backseat driver. Fender bender? Your response is to al-
ways say “wheeee!”
Make sure you know what you’re getting into before you comment on the music. Example: They’re playing Lady Gaga. You say, “Damn
this beat is catchy!” There’s awkward silence for half an hour, as you realize they were only listening to Lady Gaga to “be ironic and make a statement on the ubiquity of pussy bourgeois ideals”. K&$33!&ê <&401&1 “Mi auto es tu auto” does not apply when you’re smelling up the place. The last thing you need is to get kicked out of the car at a Taco Bell in Ellensburg, only to figure out your Birks are still in the Subaru and you won’t have a backup ride for at least another six hours. Don’t try to hide your “occasional motion sickness”. Simply hoping “it probably won’t act up this time” isn’t good enough. You don’t want to get blacklisted from the rides listerv because you’re “that kid”. “There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and The Great Pumpkin!” – Linus van Pelt, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” ILLUSTRATION BY ALFORD “Are we there yet?” is never an acceptable question. If the car is in motion, logic dictates you are, in fact, not “there” yet. @3"13&ê03&10<&401$ !1 Nobody likes a Teddy Grahams tease. Getting home is more important than your pussy bourgeois ideals. If the person insists you stop at Wal-Mart for lunch, put on a smile and get out of the car. Yakima is no place to decide you can’t support “The Machine”. Please, when you finally arrive at your destination, keep in mind “kthxbai” does not work as a real-life substitute for “thanks so much”. 4realz.
[Prentiss] Screw you, laundry thief Ashley to Prentiss
3 days ago
Kate to Prentiss
Hey, Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo laundry. WE GOT A FUCKING THIEF ON OUR HANDS. Stop stealing my shit. ,DPPLVVLQJDJUH\8UEDQ2XWÀWWHUV dress. If it is not back in the laundry room by tomorrow at noon, I’m getting the police involved. kthxbai.
Katie to Prentiss What up skanks,
So like, my socks keep going missing. I think our thief must be like a pirate or something. So yeah, now we have a lead! Should I tell the RD?
1 day ago
So I just bought a new pair of True Religions and they’re missing. They’re on sale you can go buy yourself a pair instead of stealing mine. I know you have money, because you go to Whitman. You spend $50,000 a year for school; I think you can spend $100 on jeans. Just go to nordstrom. com then click the sale and go to women’s jeans. Is that hard? No. Is returning my jeans hard? No. Are you an a-hole if I don’t get my jeans back? Yes. Show me some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. and give me my shit. :)
1 hour ago
Damien to Prentiss
8 hours ago
I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK.
In preparation for next week's Admitted Student's Day, the Backpage has decided to start thinking up some helpful facts for prospective students. Prospies need to learn to rely on us here at the Backpage to be their one trusty source for some good ol' fashion real talk. C'mon, prospies, admissions packets? They don't know your life! ѦOur mascot, the Missionary, is
actually just a byproduct of the school’s collective sexual repression. ѦThe most accurate translation
ѦMarcus and Narcissa Whit-
man didn’t die. Their decapitated heads live on in glass containers full of liquid, kind of like in Futurama.
of “Walla Walla” from Native American tongue is “Nowheresville”.
ѦAlthough folks say you can eat
ѦPresident George Bridges (you
ѦOcular herpes is real. Trust us
may recognize him as that dude with the bow tie) is known by many nicknames, such as “G.B.”, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, and “George”. You can call him these to his face. ѦPrentiss Dining Hall serves
more vegetarian dishes than most Whitties knew were possible. ѦContrary to the image propa-
gated by the diversity-themed Common Application add-on, we’re pretty pasty.
ѦEverybody on campus knows
how to play guitar. If you don’t know how, you won’t fit in.
the onions here like apples, nobody really does. on this.
ѦThe “California Burrito” at
Taqueria Yungapeti has french fries in it. Yeah, I know, WTF? ѦIt’s possible to fall off the
Bridge of Sobriety while sober. Twice. ѦGetting really ridiculously good
at Super Smash Bros. now will lead to infinite fame for the entirety of your first year. Also, everyone will whine about you. ѦWhitman College campus has
the highest head of wheat-tostudent ratio in the nation. This is the most useless fact, ever.
kanye ILLUSTRATION BY LOOS-DIALLO
tweet of the week
ILLUSTRATION BY SONG
JUMBLE TIME! Dearly beloved followers, So, the revolution failed. Diana and Cari were found by the yellow jackets and released, and I've been cast down to the deepest, darkest depths of puzzle prostitution. As punishment for my transgressions, which took the form of a page devoted to myself in last week’s Pioneer issue, I’ve been forced to make a jumble this week. It’s probably my least favorite puzzle. However, what’s fair is fair; I have to make up for my act of, let’s face it, egoist masturbation in the form of a newspaper page. I apologize for the damage I’ve done, and hopefully they’ll let me do what pleases me most next week: that is to say, the crossword. I’ve been reading some puzzle kamasutra and the next puzzle should be raunchy as hell.
QUESTION: What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
Until then, Adam “Still Just a Slut” Brayton
ILLUSTRATION BY BRAYTON