Whitman Pioneer - Spring 2011 Issue 11

Page 8

APR

8

es!

Giggl

21 2011

Backpage Celebrates 4/20

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY LERCHIN

Classes Still Available The Backpage team couldn’t help but notice that a lot of people weren’t getting into the classes they wanted during pre-registration. Lucky for you, we’ve combed through the online Search for Classes feature to find some courses that still have room for the fall 2011 semester. This should help, in case your Stoner Studies individually-planned major doesn’t get approved. Bio 208 - The Science of Sleep This class explores the importance of sleep to the human body, the circadian rhythm and the science of each of the sleep phases. Students will have the opportunity to use electroencephalographs (EEGs) to study the phases of sleep in laboratory mice. Meets four times weekly at 7 a.m. H & œ³ ÂŞ kl‘ l ^ 3 9 MĂŞ 31 & Marijuana on the Human Body This seminar explores what happens on 4/21, after a hearty 4/20. This course discusses the gateway drug theory, examines the long-term damage of marijuana and culminates in a trip to oh-my-gosh there is a ginormous bowl of Ramen in front of me. Nom nom nom.

S 0 ´´¸ ÂŞ H 33 ^ 3 9&$ m$1 0 0 @ 3 "4$ \&1: 0 $ German is spoken by over 200 million people worldwide and is the original language of many influential texts. Learn more about this fascinating language -- you might become so fascinated that you decide to major in German Studies and help save our department. ]41 ´šœ ÂŞ @--" ]41 ‘ j &0 0 \ 11&$1 Party like it’s the 4th grade again. Take recorder lessons! ]41 ¾¾³ ÂŞ H41 $ 11 & 3 M$3 03 $# $3 U$ 4130< Patrice Williams, mastermind behind Ark Music Factory and the song “Fridayâ€?, recently told the L.A. Times that he attended Whitman College to study the business of the entertainment industry. This fabrication made us think maybe we should have a class on the business of the entertainment industry. In this class, you will learn how to get rich by exploiting average 7th-grade girls and using Auto-Tune to make them sound like pop superstars. However, since it’s Whitman, we’ll have to throw in stuff about how the music industry is like colonialism and how the price of hiring Ark Music Factory affects the socioeconomic and racial demographics of its clients. g " ´³¡ ÂŞ K 1 0 M$ &4$3 01 l ;31 This course surveys texts previously included in Encounters and the classic Core class. Texts in-

Diary of a Blazed Whittie

clude William Harvey’s “On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in Animalsâ€?, “The Epic of Gilgameshâ€?, and selected poems from the “Romantic English Poetryâ€? anthology. Includes a final project tying together at least four of the discarded texts into a single thesis. g1< œ¡¸ ÂŞ g1< &"& < & l&0340 Torture is a chief method of intimidation and punishment throughout the world, but can have many negative consequences, including posttraumatic stress disorder. This course examines methods of torture, how these methods work to harm victims and the legal status of torture worldwide. Includes a field trip to the Washington State Penitentiary. Co-requisite: Psyc 345L.

"Kush rolled, glass full. I prefer the better things." - Drake Happy holidaze! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Here at the Backpage, we decided to chronicle a day in the life of the average Whittie on 4/20. It seems not much happens, but quality over quantity, right? Holla!

g1< œ¡¸\ ª g1< &"& < & l&0340 \

In the lab portion of this class, students will implement basic torture techniques learned in class by practicing them on lab partners. Techniques include sensory deprivation, lengthy interrogations and waterboarding. Meets Mon-Fri at 5 a.m.

11 a.m. Skip bio and have a couple holiday treats.

kkj@ ¾¡º ÂŞ k ! s 3 s " k$&:boarding For those looking for an extra boost to their workout. Activity fee of only $19.95, but if you register in the next 15 minutes, we’ll cut the fee in half to $9.95 and throw in an extra Shake Weight to give a friend who you think sort of needs it.

12 p.m. Lunch in Jewett. Thank god for unlimited desserts and Froot Loops. 1-2:20 p.m. Art history, which was unusually interesting. 3 p.m. Smoke and be merry.

COMIC

4:20 p.m. Listen to "Dark Side of the Moon", watch "Wizard of Oz" without volume. 6 p.m. Dinner of pizza and burrrrrr (beer). 8 p.m. Get some friends; Rebelution, and pass it. 10 p.m. Goodnight bowl, goodnight's sleep. ILLUSTRATION BY SONG

Dear Slut-lovers, I’m not even going to try to excuse myself through a quasi-narrative puzzle-slut format. I just didn’t have time to make a crossword this weekend. Being a slut takes a toll on time, y’know, and time is just something I didn’t have this weekend. So here’s a jumble. Crossword to come next week.

REPOSY

K M E S U T

ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE

Q: What is life without geometry?

JUMBLE TIME!

SPILN A

Apologies, Adam “Failure of a Slut� Brayton

REAMNT

P.S. I recognize I screwed up the last puzzle. The lack of clues for the down section was a vast oversight that won’t happen again.

T A N L U F ILLUSTRATION BY BRAYTON

M

A

B

B

A

C

K

A

R

E

A

R

U

I

T

I

E

D

E

R

V

H

O

R

S

E

F

E

A

S

T

Y

E

F

I

P

N

I

N

A

O

R

E

S

T

H

E

R

S

C

O

A

T

I

R

I

O

M

A

N

P

E

P

A

H

E

R

S

A

C

A

M

P

O

T

A

L

L

E

S

T

N

E

B

U

L

A

T

H

E

R

A

M

I

L

I

A

D

P

O

R

N

O

O

G

A

D

E

T

S

N

E

G

R

A

P

M

R

O

P

E

R

I

P

H

I

C

E

S

I

D

E

T

S

S

T

E

E

N


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.