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26 2012


It may seem a little intimidating starting the year later than everyone else. Here at the Backpage, we’ve come up with some tips to help ease the transition.

Brain of Whitman Student Before Break

Brain of Whitman Student After Break

The true and the embellished happenings of w nter break Most people want others to think that they do insane things all the time. Who wants to tell people that over break they spend most of their time with their cat? Here’s an example of a few white lies people tell about their break:

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED • I caught up on all the latest seasons of “Dexter.” • Went to Thunder Alley with the fam. • My mom and I did a combined Costco/Target run. • I did some shoveling from a monster snowstorm that hit. • Creeped on my ex on Facebook. • Listened to Adele and cried. • Cleaned my room.

WHAT YOU TOLD PEOPLE • On the first night back, a group of my friends all got together. It was a huge party. It was supposed to just be a few people, and then people just kept showing up. I was out until like 3 a.m. and had to recover the whole next day.

Get to know your section. There’s a good chance that a lot of people in your section are weird. The sooner you find this out, the sooner you will branch out and meet new, cooler people. Go to class. But if you’re not in the mood to learn, don’t go. This happens to everyone. If you skip every class at least once for no reason, that’s okay. Meet with your professors. It’s nev-

er too soon to start sucking up for good letters of recommendation. Find your balance. Sometimes it’s hard to find time to party all weekend and get your homework done. Just start planning on doing no homework during the weekend and plan accordingly. Example of a typical Saturday: brunch, three-to-fourhour nap, dinner, get ready, go out . . . absolutely no time for school work. Maybe make Wednesdays homework days. Get involved. This can give you an opportunity to meet people with similar interests to you, academic and nonacademic. Attempt to get good grades. That

way you will get decent grades. It is highly unlikely you will get an A, but if you try to, you may get a B-, maybe even a B. Be responsible. Always stay with your friends, that way if you get too drunk you have someone to take care of you. Stay healthy. If you eat healthily during the day, it can balance out the alcohol and drunchies you consume at night. You may occasionally feel overwhelmed. School is tough, so whenever you feel like you have too much on your plate, don’t be afraid to just stay in bed, watch Netflix, smoke a bowl and eat some cookie dough.

shit my chem prof says “This is a Lewis dot structure . . . sort of . . . kinda.”

“This guy, Leucippos . . . that looks Greek, right . . . yeah, he’s Greek.”

“I once read ‘The History of Chemistry’ . . . it was pretty boring.”

“Germans have always been good with science and other things that aren’t so popular.”

“The periodic table is a work of art.” “I was wearing a shirt [with some kind of structure on it] and someone stopped me and said, ‘I’m offended by your shirt because it has women’s breasts on it.’” “People were pretty dirty until 3500 BC.”

“I sat by a guy who looked a lot like this at a concert.” “This guy did something stupid in lab and won a Nobel Prize for it.” “That’s on page 43 and all over the internet.” “Let’s say 1905, I’ll make it up.”

“This is not right . . . maybe it is . . .” “They were spraying oil (like perfume) . . . can’t get a lot of dates that way.” “He’s the only thing that’s ever come out of New Zealand.” “They were going through models like toilet paper.” “Physics was pretty easy around 1900; we could have all gotten A’s.” “The protons were flying around all willy-nilly . . . doing whatever.”

Comic by Binta Loos-Diallo

• One night, my family got a little cray cray on the wine. My parents, aunt, uncle and cousins were all tipsy by 8 o’clock. • I went gambling and won around $200. • One time I went to the gym when I was high . . . the treadmill didn’t work out so well. • Hooked up with my ex. • Went to Kanye and Jay-Z’s “Watch the Throne” concert. • On New Year’s Eve = cross-faded. I don’t know if I even made it until midnight. I might have kissed more than one person . . . who knows. ADVERTISEMENT

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Whitman Pioneer Spring 2012 Issue 1 backpage