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MAGAZINE

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BAR DIRECTORY MORE PHOTOS

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ASK THE WINO

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MAY EVENTS

3485 N. Clark 773.213.4597

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CINCO DE MAYO THE PARTY OF THE YEAR!!! DON’T MISS THIS ONE!!!

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MAY SPECIALS

2158 N. Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205

Sunday $6 Glascott’s Home-made Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets Monday $5 Pints, $5 Call Cocktails $7 Top Shelf Cocktails

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CINCO DE MAYO

Tuesday $4 Blue Moon Pints $5 Glasses of Wine

$4 CORONA, TECATE, PACIFICO AND DOS EQUIS $4 SHOTS OF CUERVO

Beer of the Month:

$5 New Castle Drafts

$3

Wednesday $4 Pints of Guinness, Harp, Bass and Magners $5 Call Cocktails $7 Top Shelf Cocktails Thursday $3 Domestic Bottles $4 Well Cocktails

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Friday $5 Stella Pints $5 Bombs

ALL MONTH

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Are you currently looking for a part-time opportunity? What’s Up Xtra Magazine is looking for Sales Associates, Photographers, and Writers to join our dynamic team. Qualified candidates must be outgoing, professional and enjoy meeting new people. If you are interested in hearing more about these opportunities, please contact us at 773-288-9400 or email us at whatsupxtra.com. Serious inquiries only please.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher

7 Cocktails of the month 8 news of interest

Lisa romack Sales Director

9 word find 11 lala’s love letters 12 ask the wino ‘

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JUNE 2012

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BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH

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OUTPUT LOUNGE 773.288-9400

13 horoscope 14 are you smarter than chester

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Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com Front page photo taken

THE FOUR TREYS by Lisa Romack

The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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jon obert editor

17 wordoku and crossowrd 18 riddle of the month

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Robert Christiansen Column Writer

20 may events

Suzi Lichner Contributing jokester

21 bartender of the month 25�28 bar directory 29 tattle tales CHECK OUT

Whats UP Xtra Magazine CHICAGO / SOUTHWEST EDITIONS

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lauren strec contributing writer We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


Tue LIVE MUSIC Wed TRIVIA NIGHT - PRIZES

$10 Off All Bottles of Wine $3 MILLER LITE BOTTLES

Fri 2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060 www.fourfarthings.com ry ay Eve - Frid izers y et nda App o e M ric ay Drafts d p y 2 r e 1/ Eve er Lit l l Mi & f the 50 . o 3 $ eer drafts B $4 nth mo

LATE NIGHT PIZZA $3 A SLICE UNTIL CLOSE

No Excuses Tomorrow A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's ďŹ nal exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

LIVE MUSIC Every Thursday & Saturday

Dickens Fest in

September

WE SPONSOR ALL TEAMS The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking. Robert H. Schuller

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

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The Four Treys

Roscoe Village’s Friendliest Bar D A I L Y

Since 1884

Sunday - Thursday:

S P E C I A L S

Tavern

OPEN SATURDAY MIC TUESDAY

MAY

COMFY SEAT TAVERN

$2.50 Pabst Blue Ribbon

EVERYDAY: $4 Jameson shots

$5 bombs & $3 Well Drinks Saturday: $8 Bud Lite Pitchers Sunday: $5 Bloody Mary pints

Friday:

PLAY

Go Cubs!!!

J BG E A OA N N AM G D RE A DS

Come in for a cold beer Game Day Specials

PRIVATE PARTY ROOM - BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTIES TODAY 3333 N. DAMEN

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fourtreys.com

DOG FRIENDLY TAVERN

DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack

To help you plan your Cinco de Mayo party we’ve come up with a few tequila and Mexican-inspired cocktails. As always, party responsibly.

Paloma Mexi-tini Ingredients: • 1 oz Van Gogh Oranje Vodka • 1 oz tequila • 1/2 oz orange juice • orange slice for garnish Preparation: Pour ingredients into cocktail shaker, and add crushed ice. Shake vigorously and then strain into a martini glass and garnish with an orange slice.

Toronha Ingredients: • 2 oz blanco or reposado tequila • 6 oz fresh grapefruit soda • 1/2 oz lime juice • Salt for rimming (optional) Preparation: Rim a collins glass with salt. Fill the glass with ice and add the tequila and lime juice. Top it off with grapefruit soda.

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Ingredients: • 2 oz Tequila Tezón • 2 oz grapefruit juice • 1 tbsp grenadine • 1/2 oz triple sec • 3/4 cup of ice Preparation: Pour the ingredients into a blender and blend well. Strain into a chilled sour glass.

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News A New Trend: Buy Your Health Insurance at the Mall? Under the Affordable Health Care Act, by 2014 as many as 85 million consumers may be shopping for their own health care on government and private exchanges, according to consulting firm Oliver Wyman. Companies like UnitedHealth Care Group and WellPoint are learning to sell insurance to the public the way other companies sell shoes with staff available to explain their policies. Highmark has nine stores, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Florida has 11, and UnitedHealth has outlets in Manhattan, Philadelphia, and Los Angeles.

Coffee Might Aid Longevity Coffee drinkers might live longer. According to one study, they're less likely to die of heart disease, respiratory disease, stroke, diabetes, infections, and even injuries. Here's why it happens. At Tufts University's Antioxidants Research Center, they say it's possible that polyphenols have a protective effect. They also say that a simple cup of coffee contains a complex mix of biologically active and beneficial compounds, including polyphenols.

The iWatch is Coming Ever since crime fighter Dick Tracy put on his two-way wristwatch radio in 1946, corporations have spent millions of dollars developing experimental wrist -mounted computers. Several companies, such as Casio, Seiko, and Microsoft have come close, and Sony sells a $129 SmartWatch that can be used for email, tweeting, or playing music. In the words of Bloomberg Businessweek, "Into this graveyard of tech empires steps Apple." Its team of about 100 is in late stages of development, and the company hopes to introduce its new smartwatch this fall. It will likely be an iPhone accessory, allowing users to make and receive calls or check map coordinates while leaving the phone in their pockets. Features include a pedometer and possibly a heart monitor. The U.S. patent office says Apple has filed about 79 patent applications since 2001 that include the word wrist. If Apple can get the public to accept the iWatch as a substitute for a conventional timepiece, experts at Oracle Investment Research say they could sell 50 million of them in the first six months.

What’s In Your Travel Bag Beginning on April 25, 2013, airline passengers can carry small pocketknives and some types of sports equipment. Transportation Security Administration Administrator John Pistole announced that the new step would put U.S. restrictions for carry-on items in line with international rules. He also says the TSA's focus is now on what could cause catastrophic damage to the aircraft. Items the TSA now allows: •Knives without a molded grip and with blades that don't lock and are less than 2.36 inches long (6 centimeters). •Novelty-size and toy bats less than 24 inches long and weighing less than 24 ounces. •Billiard cues, ski poles, hockey sticks, lacrosse sticks, and two golf clubs as part of carry-on luggage.

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Box cutters and razor blades are still prohibited. Previously, bans on cigarette lighters and nail clippers were removed. Security experts at the TSA have long advocated reducing the number of banned items, because the hardening of cockpit doors would prevent a terrorist from gaining control of a plane as hijackers did on 9/11. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


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“Obstacles cannot crush me, every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.” - Leonardo Da Vinci Italian Renaissance polymath, painter, and sculptor

We’re Going Down...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

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La La’s Love Letters Dear La La, I am engaged to a wonderful man although we hit a real roadblock in our relationship. A couple weeks ago he was saying what a nice ring my name had to it ending with his last name. When I told him I didn’t plan on changing my name he looked as if I’d By Lauren Strec told him I just had affairs with 10 guys. It was heartbreaking. Should you have to take your husband's last name? Nameless Nancy Dear Nancy, No, you don’t have to do anything. I can understand how this could be a touchy subject, but it’s one that you both are going to have to learn to not get hung up on. The point of marriage is about you two sharing your lives together… does it really matter if your driver’s license has different lettering next to your first name? Will you become an entirely new person with the adoption of his surname? No! Draw in the focus on the relationship: that’s where the real investment lies. Respect each other’s beliefs, and communicate your points. If he still can’t get over it, let him play with your boobs until he does. Dear La La, I am with a guy who wants a blowjob every hour on the hour, but when I ask him to perform oral on me I get nothing! Finally I brought it up. His reply: “That's just not my thing.” I'll blame youth for the fact that I stuck with him for a year, but I really feel he is just being selfish. Drop him? GoDown Gloria Dear GoDown, Pshh yeah! Whether it’s “his thing” or not, if he’s into you, he will make it an effort to satisfy you. Or at least return the favor! Yes he’s selfish, and yes: dump him. There are plenty of guys who will happily get in there, especially if you’re giving hourly BJ’s! Whatta champ. Dear La La, My girlfriend and I just moved in together and she gets all freaked out if I forget to close the door when I pee. She’s lucky I don’t take a whiz in the sink like I used to when I had my bachelor pad! Is it really so bad I pee with the door open when she's home? PeePee Peter Dear Peter, Yeah, she sounds uptight; you’ll have to break her in some more. If you two are going to be living together, she’s going to have to get used to your bodily functions and vice-versa. I mean, what’s going to happen that day she walks into the bathroom after you’ve just dropped a bomb? Ask her why she is scared of your tinkle, and tell her that she hurt your penis’s feelings. Say it just like that, and see how she reacts. Oh, out of curiosity: why are you pissing in the sink when the toilet is a step away?

“Where Friends & Fun Come First” Since 73’

Babe’s Bar Sam “Babe” Belpedio

WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY PBR 1 Becks = $2 PINTS

$4 THURSDAYS: Bombs & Stella Open Mic

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Not A Pick Up Line... I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs." The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so." I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." DO NOT TRY THIS AT YOUR LOCAL BAR

Computer going sideways?

The Tech Shop (424) 652-TECH Virus Removal, Back-ups, Hardware/Software Installation, Computer Builds, Network Consultation, Home Network Installation, Server Design, Jailbreaking

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging, and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news, and fun photos. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

$2.50 Domestic Beer Everyday

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Ask The Wino...

Brendan’s Too

3135 W. Montrose 773-463-2771

DAILY SPECIALS $1.75 PABST BLUE RIBBON $11 DOMESTIC BUCKETS $13 IMPORT BUCKETS MONDAY:

INDUSTRY NIGHT $1 OFF WELL & DOMESTICS

TUESDAY:

$3 SMIRNOFF FLAVORED VODKA

WEDNESDAY:

$2 MILLER LITE BOTTLES & $3 MARGARITAS

THURSDAY:

$3 GUINNESS PINTS & $3 JAMESON SHOTS

FRIDAY:

$4 BOMBS

SATURDAY:

$3.50 BLOODY MARY OR MARIA

SUNDAY:

$3 MIMOSAS

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

Wino: Buddy Whipples Smells like: Cat shit Likes: Cheesy Puffs and PBR's Dislikes: Public Restrooms Jeremy asks: I was in a public restroom stall the other day and the guy next to me was humming that Aerosmith song "Dude looks like a lady". I found the whole thing deeply disturbing. Do you think I need therapy or something? Wino: ...or something. Who the hell do you think I am, Dr. friggin Phil? Look man, you should know never to take a dump in a public restroom. That's why God gave us the alley!

Francis asks: I am thinking of running for office in my community and was considering growing a moustache to make me look more distinguished. I've noticed you've recently grown some facial hair, what are your thoughts? Wino: A moustache does certainly lend a gentleman an air of authority. Your problem lies in the fact that you are not a gentleman but, not to point out the obvious, a lady. But, if you insist on moving forward with this silly charade, please do avoid any type of hormone drugs which encourage hair growth in areas that may surprise you. If you want to be taken serious, I might start with your name. If all else fails, a false moustache may be the only answer. Shelly asks: My husband is really a terrific guy, but we have gotten into a bit of a slump when it comes to our sex life. Whenever he wants to do it he asks me "Hey baby, you want to take care of me?" There's no romance, no foreplay, and then after he has an orgasm he just rolls right over and goes to sleep. I'm desperate to bring some spice back into the bedroom, do you have any advice? Wino: I'm not quite sure I understand what the problem is. Sounds like a pretty healthy sex life to me. Maybe a paper bag?

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LIVE COUNTRY& WESTERN MUSIC

4659 N. Clark 773.334.2402

OPEN TIL 4AM

CAROLSPUBCHICAGO.COM

MON $1 Draft, $2 Domestic Bottles, $5 Pitchers

#1 D E T VO TE BAR NI O BY E T A L AG C I OM H C . C O IN AG C I H C NBC

TUE $2.75 Domestic Bottles WED $10 PITCHERS of Beer - LIVE BAND + Jam w/ Country Claude 9p-4a THU World Class KARAOKE 9p-4a FRI LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-4a SAT LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-5a SUN $10 PITCHERS of BEER + LIVE BAND

Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a

Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!

MAY HOROSCOPE ARIES: The impact you have on others makes you feel important and worthy. To get one more person on your side, choose a co-worker and find ways to help him or her. TAURUS: You have defined goals and a Plan A to achieve them, but flexibility may be required. Circumstances tend to change. Avoid disappointment by going to your Plan B. GEMINI: Perking up your intellectual curiosity can make you sharper in your work and your home life. See a play, go to the opera, or plan a stunning bash with your friends. CANCER: On the home front, avoid coming to premature conclusions. Time is on your side. But if you have to right a wrong, insightful communication could help you do it. LEO: Whether it's for a big project or a noble cause, getting on board is a shrewd move. It's certainly one that will attract attention, and the limelight will please you no end.

LIBRA: Harmony is important to you now, and you can use your innate talent as a negotiator to bring it about. You understand the concept of "getting along" for the present. SCORPIO: Whether the young person is a family member or a co-worker, your truthful communication can make him or her feel special. It doesn't have to be long to be deep. SAGITTARIUS: Sometimes your energy is low and you hardy know where to start. But once you realize how your involvement will get others motivated, you'll see the way. CAPRICORN: Whoa! Think twice about going into debt for something you can do without. New furniture or a set of wheels can wait a while (unless you really need a boost). AQUARIUS: Don't forget Mother's Day. Cement your relationship with a loving attitude, a gift, or a card. Any problem in the past or present should be put behind you. PISCES: Though you are often consumed by your work, you are an idealist who enjoys helping others. Your empathetic tendencies serve you well along the way.

VIRGO: An unforeseen opportunity is coming your way. Watch for it and recognize it. Doing something different is a sure way to revitalize your outlook. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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THE LIGHTER SIDE

Whoops...

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. But while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman dressed and sitting on the bed who insisted he didn't need it to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know. She's upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

Oh to be 6 Again A man saw his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be six again!" On the big day, he arose early, made her a bowl of Lucky Charms, then took her to Six Flags theme park. He put her on every ride in the park. Five hours later her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal and a chocolate shake. Finally they wobbled home and she collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "What was it like being six again??" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed, "I meant my dress size, you idiot."

Marriage Counseling A couple came for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, and feeling unloved. Finally, the therapist walked around his desk, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of which national heritage? a) Spanish b) French c) Brazilian d) American e) Mexican 2. As a holiday, Cinco de Mayo is meant to commemorate... a) The fight for independence b) A national hero c) A historic battle d) The founding of a social movement e) None of the above 3. Is Cinco de Mayo an official federal holiday in Mexico? a) Yes, it is the country's most important holiday b) No, it is an unofficial holiday 4. How do people celebrate Cinco de Mayo? a) Showcase Mexican heritage b) Take part in political rallies and parades c) Reenact the famous Battle of Puebla d) All of the above 5. Which of these cultural holidays (from around the world) most resembled Cinco de Mayo in theme and meanings? a) Chinese New Year b) St. Patrick Day c) Oktoberfest d) Boxing Day e) Victory Day 6. True or False. Cinco de Mayo is also known as Mexico's Independence Day. 7. What does the term "Cinco de Mayo" mean in English? a) Mayan Day b) Celebration of May c) The fifth of May d) Mexican heritage e) None of the above 8. Which of these items is an essential part of Cinco de Mayo celebrations? a) Festive food b) Traditional music c) Ethnic dancing d) All of the above 9. True or False. Singer Herb Alpert recorded a song titled Cinco de Mayo in his hit single Spanish Flea. 10. The famed Battle of Puebla was between Mexican forces and the... a) French b) Spanish c) Americans d) Mayans e) Germans 11. What year was the first Cinco de Mayo's observance? a) 1663 b) 1763 c) 1863 d) 1963 e) Unknown 12. True or False. Cinco de Mayo is a state holiday in California.

The woman, in a daze, quietly sat down. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?" The husband replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on the other days I play golf."

HELP WANTED

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7)c 8)d 9)True 10)a 11)c 12)False

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1)e 2)c 3)b 4)a 5)b 6)False

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*Cubs Game Day excluded

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Have you ever seen crumpled money? Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No," I said. She gave me a sexy little smile,slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill. "Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?" she asked."No," I said. She gave me another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill. "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen $30,000 dollars all crumpled up?" "No," I said, intrigued. "Well, go and take a quick look in the garage." First alumni: "You've done very well, I hear you're a millionaire." Second alumni: "Yes, I owe it all to my wife." First: "What were you before?" Second: "A multimillionaire." Moe: "Why were you running up the street?" Joe: "I was trying to stop a fight."

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Moe: "Who was fighting?" Joe: "Me and another guy."

SUDOKU Rules: Every column, row and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9

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IN C O C A P LU u G td P R D & re o SU IZ E B at or LE E S ee fo M S r r ac & G P h ar at in de io e ns s

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Riddle Ri ddle of the Month Five words that contain NO as a letter pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words? NO***, **NO*, **NO**, ***NO*, **NO**** Pool: A, A, A, C, C, D, E, G, H, I, I, L, M, M, P, P, R, S, T, Y

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Answer to Last Months Riddle What does man love more than life? Fear more than death or mortal strife? What do the poor have, what the rich require, And what contented men desire? What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save, And all men carry to their graves?

Answer: Nothing Winner: Denise Romanowski WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


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The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!

BIKES, BABES & BOOZE

Sick and Wrong!!!

Another Day on The Course A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior .. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!' 'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!' 'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!' 'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 'You missed the f**kin' putt, didn't you? 773.213.4597

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Ducks in Heaven Three woman die and go to heaven, when they get there, St. Peter says, 'we only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man, he chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man is very, very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?' The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

MAY EVENTS MARK YOUR CALENDARS Chicago Mayfest May 17 - May 19, 2013

Friday 5pm-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-10pm This three day celebration officially kicks off the City of Chicago's festival season. The 17th annual Chicago Mayfest features Chicago's Best Bands, Festival Cuisine, Pretzels and Beer, and a huge array of super cool entertainment kicking off Friday at 5pm with a VIP Party for Everyone. The main stage is located inside a huge tent that is probably the largest constructed in the City and provides a covered arena that is sure to house an awesome party. The overall venue also features our outdoor beer garden and merchant square, where attendees can enjoy a cold beverage while they shop at some of the finest local artisans and merchants booth. This event benefits the Lake View YMCA, Northside Parents Network, and the Festival Foundation. Admission to the festival is only $10.

Belmont-Sheffield Music Festival May 25 - May 26, 2013 Saturday/Sunday Noon-10pm

The 29th annual Belmont-Sheffield Music Festival presented by the Central Lakeview Merchants is considered to be one of the city's premier (and cutting-edge) music fests. The festival reflects the lifestyle of this area, featuring some of the best musical entertainment in Chicago. In addition to music, it also features an exciting mix of fine arts, crafts, fashions and a variety of food and drink. Belmont and Sheffield Streets, in the heart of the Lakeview neighborhood, is a top destination for all that's "happening" in Chicago among Adults 21-44. Many of the city's most popular nightclubs including The Vic, Metro, Cubby Bear, Berlin and Sheffield's set the tone and ambiance that contributes to the area's reputation for hip nightlife. This intersection also a few blocks from legendary Wrigley Field.

Do Division 2013!

May 31 - June 2, 2013 Friday 5pm-10pm, Saturday/Sunday Noon-10pm The annual Do-Division Street Fest & Sidewalk Sale rings in Summer Fest Season for a 7th consecutive year. The signature West Town event combines all the best elements of a great Chicago street fest: a rousing live music bill, local independent retailers and artisans, and exciting family fun. The 2013 Fest also features a new 'Do-Fashion' area, helping give the estimated 75,000-plus attendees a taste of what makes Division Street one of the hottest entertainment and cultural corridors in the Midwest! New to Do-Division Street Fest this year is Do-Fashion, a festwithin-a-fest focused exclusively on the latest styles from the Division Street Corridor. The will be a $5 donation requested for admittance.

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE MAY BARTENDER

W

r u tra o X ho’s y te i w r o fav nder? e t r ba

Go to

facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400 or vote @ www.whatsupxta.com The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: Jason

Bartender: Maggie

Save More Lounge 4060 N Lincoln Ave

Glascott's 2158 N Halsted St

Signature Drink: Flaming Patty

Signature Drink: Cold Beer & Shot of Jameson

Ingredients: Bailey's, Kahlua, Rumpleminz

Ingredients: Beer and Booze

(lit on fire and sprinkled with cinnamon)

Words of Wisdom: "A cold beer and shot of Jameson a day keeps the doctor away."

Words of Wisdom: "Alchohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says 'love your enemy'."

Bartender: Gail

Bartender: Jennifer

Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan Rd

Fiesta Cantina 3407 N Clark St

Signature Drink: Gail Bait

Signature Drink: Pancakes

Ingredients: Raspberry, Orange, and Citrus Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Triple Sec, Sweet & Sour, Orange and Cranberry Juice

Ingredients: Crown, Peach Schnapps, Butterscotch Schnapps, Cranberry Juice Words of Wisdom: “A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."

Words of Wisdom: "Bait and Mind switch...You'll forget where you are after a few of these."

APRIL BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

CONGRATULATIONS

Jason

Stretch 3485 N. Clark “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo or go to www.whatsupxtra.com

*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

Only one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on May 20th. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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IS BEER BETTER FOR THE SOUL OR THE HAIR? Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "wouldn't a nice cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, author of Living in the Mystery

The second nun answered, "indeed it would, sister, but i would not feel comfortable buying beer, since i am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand." "I can handle that without a problem" the other nun replied and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said, "back at our nunnery, we call it catholic shampoo. Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with *** the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers are on the house." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?: Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport Bar Celona

3474 N. Clark

773-244-8000

Mullen’s

Bendan’s Pub

3169 N. Broadway

773-929-2929

Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffield

773-281-5356

Bernie’s

3664 N Clark

773-525-1898

Mystic Celt

3443 N. Southport

773-529-8550

Big City

1010 W. Belmot

773-935-1138

Newport Bar

1344 W Newport

773-325-9111

Blarney Stone

3424 N. Sheffield

773-348-1078

Nick’s Uptown

4015 N Sheridan

773-975-1155

Brew & View

3145 N. Sheffield

773-929-7150

North End

3733 N Halsted

Buck’s Saloon

3439 N. Halsted

773-525-1125

Paddy Long’s

1028 W Diversey

773-348-9711

Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark

773-281-6690

Parrots Bar

754 W Wellington

773-281-7878

Coobah

3423 N. Southport

773-528-2220

Piano Bar

3801 N. Clark

773-528-4033

Cubby Bear

1059 W Addison

773-327-1662

Raw Bar & Grill

3720 N Clark St

773-348-7291

Cullen’s Bar

3741 N. Southport

773-975-0600

Rebel Bar

3462 N. Clark

773-348-9084

Dram Shop

3040 N. Broadway

773-549-4401

Redmond’s

3358 N Sheffield

773-404-2151

Fiesta Cantina

3407 N. Clark

773-975-5980

Roadhouse 66

3330 N. Clark

773-525-8166

Friar Tucks

3010 N. Broadway

773-327-5101

Rockit Bar

3700 N.Clark

773-645-4400

Full Shilling

3724 N. Clark

773-248-3330

Rocks

3463 N. Broadway

773-472-0493

Goose Island

3535 N. Clark

773-832-9040

Roscoe’s

3356 N. Halsted

773-281-3355

Higgins Tavern

3259 N. Racine

773-281-7637

Schoolyard

3258 N Southport

773-528-8226

Holiday Club

4000 N. Sheridan

773-348-9600

Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport

773-525-2508

Irish Oak

3511 N. Clark

Sheffield’s

3258 N Sheffield

773-281-4989

Jack’s Bar

2856 N Southport

773-404-8400

Sidetracks

3349 N. Halsted

773-477-9189

Jacklyn’s Bar

3400 N. Broadway

773-404-5149

Sluggers

3540 N Clark

773-248-0055

Jake’s Pub

2932 N Clark

773-248-3318

Smart Bar

3730 N Clark

773-549-4140

Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway

773-528-1054

Sopo

3418 N. Southport

773-348-0100

John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark

773-549-6000

Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport

773-472-6600

Justin’s

3358 N Southport

773-929-4844

Sports Corner

952 W. Addison

773-929-1441

Kit Kat Lounge

3700 N Halsted

773-525-1111

Take 5 Bar

3747. Southport

773-871-5555

L&L Tavern

3207 N. Clark

773-528-1303

Toon’s

3857 N. Southport

773-935-1919

Little Jim’s

3501 N. Halsted

773-871-6116

Town Hall Pub

3340 N Halsted

773-472-4405

Lucky’s 3

472 N. Clark

773-549-0665

Trace

3714 N. Clark

773-477-3400

Mad River

2909 N. Sheffield

773-935-7500

Trader Todd’s

3216 N Sheffield

773-348-3250

Matilda

3101 N Sheffield

773-883-4400

Vaughans Pub

2917 N. Sheffield

773-281-8188

Matisse

674 W. Diversey

773-528-6670

Vines

3554 N. Clark

773-327-8572

Merkles

3516 N Clark

773-244-1025

Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan

773-929-9543

Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark

773-549-4140

Yak-Zies Bar

773-525-9200

Monsignor Murphys

773-348-7285

3019 N. Broadway

FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

773.213.4597

3527 N Clark

773-325-2319

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3710 N Clark

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old Town Augie's

1721 W. Wrightwood

773-296-0018

McGinny's Tap

313 W. North

773-943-5228

Bird's Nest

2500 N. Southport

773-472-1502

Mickey's

2450 N. Clark

773-435-0007

Blue's

2519 N. Halsted

773-525-8317

O' Brien's

1528 N. Wells

312-787-3131

Burton's Place

1447 N. Wells

773-664-4699

Old Town Ale

219 W. North

773-944-7020

Burwood Tap

7242 W. Wrightwood

773-525-2593

Old Town Pub

1339 N. Wells

773-266-6789

Clybar

417 N. Clybourn

773-388-1877

O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln

773-935-2719

Corcoran's

1615 N. Wells

773-440-0885

Orso's

1401 N. Wells

773-787-6604

Delilah's

2771 N. Lincoln

773-472-2771

Ravens

2326 N. Clark

773-348-1774

Duffy's

422 W. Diversey

773-549-9090

River Shannon

425 W. Armitage

773-944-5087

Durkin's

810 W. Diversey

773-525-2515

Rocks

1301 W. Schubert

773-472-7728

Elbo Room

2817 N. Lincoln

773-549-5549

Saluki Bar

1208 N. Wells

773-274-1824

Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark

773-348-6489

Suite Lounge

1446 N. Wells

773-787-6106

Four Farthings

2060 N. Cleveland

773-935-2060

The Apartment

2251 N. Lincoln

773-348-5100

Frank's

2503 N. Clark

773-549-2700

The Local Option 1102 W. Webster

773-348-2008

Galway Arms

2442 N. Clark

773-472-5555

The Other Side

2436 N. Clark

773-525-8238

Gamekeepers

345 W. Armitage

773-549-0400

Tin Lizzie

2483 N. Clark

773-549-1132

Glascott's

2158 N. Halsted

773-281-1205

Tonic Room

2447 N. Halsted

773-248-8400

Goose Island

1800 N. Clybourn

773-915-0071

Weeds

1555 N. Dayton

312-943-7815

Halligan's Pub

2274 N. Lincoln

773-472-7940

Wellingtons

1300 W. Wellington

773-528-0654

Halsted Harp

2138 N. Halsted

773-348-3665

Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln

773-929-1300

Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln

773-883-0304

Witts

773-528-7032

Irish Eyes

773-348-9548

Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood

2

2519 N. Lincoln

Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed

773-337-3486

John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln

773-348-8899

John's Place

1200 W. Webster

773-525-6670

Kelly's Pub

949 W. Webster

773-281-0656

Kendall's Pub

2263 N. Lincoln

773-348-7200

Kincade's

950 W. Armitage

773-348-0010

Kingston Mines

2548 N. Halsted

773-477-4646

Lincoln Station

2432 N. Lincoln

773-472-8100

Lincoln Tap

3010 N. Lincoln

773-868-0060

Lion Head Pub

2251 N. Lincoln

773-348-5100

Max Bar

2247 N. Lincoln

773-549-5884

McGee's

950 W. Webster

773-549-8200

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2913 N. Lincoln

773-459-4949

Hal: "My wife doesn't understand me, does yours?" Pal: "I don't know, she's never mentioned your name." Bob: "I have an awful headache, what can I do?" Rob: "I put my head on my wife's lap. She rubs my forehead and sings to me. You should try it." Bob: "Great, do you think she's home right now?"

HELP WANTED NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY PART TIME AND FULL TIME EXTRA INCOME

CALL FOR DETAILS 773.213.4597 WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?: Northwest Babe’s

4416 N. Milwaukee

773-545-3137

Paddy Macks

4157 N. Pulaski

773-279-9300

Bill’s Pub

4104 N. Pulaski

773-202-0020

Rabbits

4945 W Foster

773-736-5766

Brigadoon

5748 W Lawrence

773.777.2403

Roman’s

6448 N. Milwaukee

773-467-9827

Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose

773-736-2337

Sidekicks

4424 W Montrose

773-545-6212

Casual Tap

5924 W Montrose

773-283-9490

Six Penny Bit

5800 W. Montrose

773-545-2033

Charlotte’s Bar

6000 W Gunnison

773-775-3616

Thatch Pub

5707 N. Milwaukee

773-763-8179

Club Belmont

7844 W. Belmont

773-598-2808

Three Counties

5856 N. Milwaukee

773-631-3351

Di’s Den

5100 W Irving Park

773-736-7170

Tommy’s

6954 W Higgins

773-631-4451

Dugan’s

6051 N. Milwaukee

773-467-5555

Trinity Pub

5943 N. Northwest

773-763-0095

Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted

773-775-1404

Vaughan’s Pub

5485 Northwest

773-631-9206

Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson

773-561-6674

Windsor Tavern

4530 N. Milwaukee

773-736-3400

Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston

773-685-8083

Zachary’s

5368 N Milwaukee

773-792-0933

Filonek’s

6213 N. Milwaukee

773-775-5010

Galvin’s Public

5901 W Lawrence

773-205-0570

Gladstone’s

5734 N. Milwaukee

773-763-3385

Ham Tree Inn

5333 N. Milwaukee

773-792-2072

Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston

773-774-4166

Harwood Bar

6438 W. Montrose

708-867-7781

Hops N Barley

4359 N Milwaukee

773-286-7415

Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee

773-775-7587

Jimmy Macks

5581 N. Northwest

773-631-1466

Joe E’s Lounge

4206 W Irving Park

773-283-3422

Landmark Pub

5135 N. Oriole

773-867-6533

Lasko’s

5525 N Milwaukee

773-774-9800

Lizard Lounge

3058 W. Irving Park

773-463-7599

Margaret’s

5134 W. Irving Park

773-685-4493

Mary’s Place

6300 N. Milwaukee

773-775-7587

MCM Pub

3906 N. Cicero

773-736-2644

McNamaras

4328 W Irving Park

773-725-1800

Mo Dailey’s

6070 N. Northwest Hwy

773-774-6121

Moretti’s

6727 N. Olmsted

773-631-1223

Mrs. O’Leary’s

4368 N. Milwaukee

773-427-7300

Mug Shots

7718 W. Addison

773-625-8466

Murrays

5522 N Elston

773-774-3466

Night Caps

5007 W Irving Park

773-282-8654

Nil’s Tap

5734 N. Elston

773-594-1288

FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Kentucky Derby

May 4, 2013

773.213.4597

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?:

Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile 240 Lounge

3948 W. Lawrence

773-267-0474

Huetten Bar

4721 N. Lincoln

773-561-2507

42 Latitude

3341 N Western

773-910-1473

Jury's

4337 N. Lincoln

773-935-2255

Abbey Pub

3420 W. Grace

773-478-4408

Katerina's

1902 W. Irving

773-348-7592

Atlantic Bar

5062 N. Lincoln

773-506-7090

Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland

773-857-3800

Bad Dog

4535 N. Lincoln

773-334-4040

Leadway Bar

5233 N. Damen

773-728-2663

Big Joe’s

1818 W Foster

773-784-8755

Long Room

1612 W. Irving

773-665-4500

Black Rock

3614 N. Damen

773-348-4044

Margie's Pub

4145 N. Lincoln

773-477-1644

Brendan’s Too

3135 W. Montrose

773-463-2771

Mulligan's

2000 W. Roscoe

773-549-4225

Brownstone

3937 N. Lincoln

773-528-3700

Mutiny

2428 N. Western

773-486-7774

Carol’s Pub

4659 N Clark

773-334-2402

Oakwood 83

1969 W. Montrose

773-327-2785

Celtic Crown

4301 N. Western

773-588-1110

O'Donovan's

2100 W. Irving

773-478-2100

Chicago Joe's

2256 W. Irving

773-478-7000

O'Lanagan

2335 W. Montrose

773-583-2252

Chief O'Neills

3471 N. Elston

773-583-3066

Rail Bar

4709 N Damen

773-878-9400

Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie

773-463-1768

Richochet's

4644 N. Lincoln

773-271-3127

Claddagh Ring

773-271-4794

Riverview

1958 W. Roscoe

773-871-1200

Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry

773-528-4050

Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison

773-472-6160

Daily's Bar

4560 N. Lincoln

773-561-6198

Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln

773-281-1444

Farraguts

5240 N Clark

773-728-4903

Side Street

1456 W. George

773-327-1127

Finley Dunnes

3458 N. Lincoln

773-477-7311

Silvie's

1902 W. Irving

773-871-6239

Fizz

3220 N. Lincoln

773-348-6000

Small Bar

2956 N. Albany

773-509-9888

Foley's

1841 W. Irving

773-929-1210

Stadium West

3188 N. Elston

773-866-2450

Four Moon

1847 W. Roscoe

773-929-6666

Ten Cat Tavern

3931 N. Ashland

773-935-5377

Four Shadows

2758 N. Ashland

773-248-9160

The Temple

3001 N. Ashland

773-248-0990

Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen

773-549-8845

Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence

773-878-1136

Fuller's Pub

3203 W. Irving

773-478-8060

Villiage Tap

2055 W. Roscoe

773-883-0817

Gio’s

4857 N. Damen

773-334-0345

Waterhouse

3407 N. Paulina

773-871-1200

Hidden Cove

5336 N. Lincoln

773-275-3955

Wild Goose

4265 N. Lincoln

773-281-7112

Hidden Cove

5338 N. Lincoln

773-275-6711

Windy City Inn

2257 W. Irving

773-588-7088

Horseshoe

4115 N. Lincoln

773-248-1366

2306 W. Foster

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TAT T L E TA L E S

The Waiter By Rob Christiansen

The waiter was modest. He had things to be modest about, including a résumé with more holes in it than in a slice of Swiss cheese. His résumé should have tasted like chocolate since he “fudged” employment dates. He’d crumple up his résumé and chomp on it, but it never really did taste like chocolate…or cheese.

His last dismissal was over a report he emailed to a broker no longer named on the distribution list. He should have read the updated account instructions. His boss described the email as a “security breach,” but his boss was superparanoid and shredded everything, including Shredded Wheat he tore to shreds for breakfast at his desk on cold winter mornings. Instead of looking for a new job, the waiter stopped paying rent and sold all his crap on eBay. He would damn sure avoid paying movers or 1-800-Got Junk? ® to take his furniture, TVs and stuff. He was notified he was being evicted, and he waited that out, even though he wasn’t yet officially known as the waiter. He waited until the bell tolled for him and then sprang forth, born again though still not the waiter. He found a tiny studio and paid six months’ rent up front with cash. All he brought were some clothes, his iPhone and a towel. He went out that night to a bar with his new, smoking-hot, next door neighbor. They stumbled, drunk, into Walgreens for toothpaste and she asked him if he could wait for a package for her in the morning. He knocked on her door at 7:30 a.m., but she wouldn’t leave until 9:30…although she should have left at 7:30. Her package arrived at 10 and he received it and put it on her disheveled sofa bed. They put the “hell” in “dishevel,” but it felt like heaven. Back in his studio, the idea struck. Not to be a gigolo, but to be the waiter. He metaphorically slammed closed the book he was reading, because it was only a paperback. A slogan came to mind: “If it takes forever I will wait for you.” It was from an old song, so he wasn’t concerned with asking permission to use it. He got licensed and bonded. He breathed a sigh of relief, although deep down he knew that “public urination” makes a comedy record, not a criminal record, and that a “Five-day” notice doesn’t mean anything if you skip out before the sixth day. He had business cards made. Holding one, he didn’t know if he was impressed more by his slogan or the words, “licensed and bonded.” The phrase converted the material to a palpable, rich, texture, and although the card came from common stock, it felt like Corinthian leather in his hand. When he closed his eyes he was certain he smelled that new card smell.

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He was up and…waiting. His burgeoning career taught him about life past his nose and past his babalicious neighbor, Gina, who lived perhaps three feet away. He waited for a piano tuner one morning in a building down the street. When he opened the apartment door, there stood a blind female piano tuner and her driver. He was cured of two preconceived notions: In his little world, piano tuners always were males who could see. He gave her driver the check when the tuning was completed. The driver told him that the piano tuner, a Southerner, had learned her craft at a school for the blind in Talladega. The information more than lapped the waiter’s previous knowledge of Talladega. He made judgment calls. A client was getting cable TV in a revitalized “man cave.” The Comcast technician wanted to drill a hole in the middle of a wall. The waiter asked if it was necessary to drill four feet above the floor. Comcast explained that since it’s the basement it was necessary. The waiter thought for a second and said, “All right. You can drill the hole. But don’t f**k up my wall. I’m watching.” Someone else thought their Larson storm door had to be removed and replaced. The screen had ripped and was now gone. Plastic bags from dry cleaner garments dutifully filled the space in the frame where the screen had been. 3M brand 2”-wide clear tape held fast the bags both in- and outside the door. The glass had shattered in a lower frame while the client initially tried to replace the screen. The client said his knee must have hit the glass, but he wasn’t sure. Alone in the condo, the waiter examined the door and called Crafty Beaver to cancel the appointment. The waiter tore the plastic bags out of the top frame and removed both frames, taking one to a neighborhood screen shop and the other to a neighborhood glass store. He took the refurbished frames back and installed them in the door. A plumber fixed someone’s toilet and then unexpectedly walked ahead of the waiter, through the winding condo, as though he’d been there before, and flushed the other toilet. His client had not mentioned the half-bathroom. The plumber was trying to dupe the waiter. The handle was stuck but the toilet wasn’t broken and the plumber was already privy to this information but the condo owner was unconcerned. Arriving at this conclusion purely by intuition, the waiter said, “Give me your bill. I’m not paying you for the half hour you were gone for supplies. You should always have them.” Business improved and the waiter needed a “wait staff.” Licensing and bonding requirements apparently were deal-breakers, so he simply hired nice-looking people he met in bars who enjoyed talking to him. He hired Gina part time, since she already had a job but said she wanted to work for him. He considered himself a pretty good judge of character and was never disappointed. He learned that people didn’t mind waiting—as long as they were being paid. 773.213.4597

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Book Review

Women Forge Their Own Work Styles It's one of the most popular business books of the year. You may have seen the author interviewed on television or seen one of several reviews published in newspapers.

Written by Facebook chief operating officer, Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, is the tech icon's "feminist manifesto," one she hopes will end a 10-year stall for top women and erase stereotypes. Perhaps incidentally, the book comes out in the 50th anniversary year of Betty Friedan's book, The Feminine Mystique. Sandberg works directly under Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. She is highly respected in Silicon Valley, and she's very direct about the state of American women in upper management. Though some critics have called her an elitist whose advice is not relevant to most women, some of her advice is pertinent to everyone. She advises women to stop trying to "have it all." Being a working parent means making adjustments, compromises, and sacrifices every day. During her first weeks at Facebook, for example, she followed Zuckerberg's practice of working into the night. But she missed many dinners with her kids and decided to leave at 5:30 every day, no matter what important work she wanted to do. She learned that she could, and her work didn't suffer. She believes that when women excel, both men and women will

say that she's not as well liked as her peers and that she's too aggressive or not a team player, while men who behave in the same way are considered to be good leaders. In one case, a Facebook manager received feedback that a woman was too aggressive. He went to the people who gave that feedback and asked point-blank, "If a man had done those same things, would you have considered him too aggressive?" They each said no.

Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg, Doubleday Publishing, $24.95 in bookstores.

Bring It Home Blackhawks The Blackhawks have been my favorite hockey team since I’ve been young. There have been many lean years in the time I’ve loved them, and a couple of really great years. This year seems to be one of the greatest I’ve ever been a part of! 2010 and winning the Stanley Cup was nothing like I’d ever experienced, but the beginning of this year felt a By Gail Freis lot like that year, but better. Maybe because it’s been a few years since I’ve experienced the high that comes with such an incredible feat such as winning the hardest championship in sports. However, even though this year has that same special feeling we all had on our way through the season and up to the Cup win, it feels different. They all have the same dedication, gel with each other and hunger for wins, but there seems to be something more happening. I love the fights, the hard hits and the spectacular way that we score goals. With players like Patrick Kane and Marion Hossa on our team, how can you not be amazed? That is not to slight the other members of our four lines that have all contributed to this seasons highlights. There have been 13 players that have scored the game winning goal in our

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legendary start to this season, Patrick Kane has a +10 which is hard enough to do when you are the only person on your team scoring goals let alone when most players on the team have scored at least one in what have been mostly low scoring games to start the season. Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews have both started playing a more physical game. Car Bomb, The Rat and Hoss have gotten over very serious injuries stemming from last year and barely escaped a few potential season ending hits. The rookies Shawzer and Saad are killing it on goals, hits, assists and passing. Hjalmarsson has maintained his ruthless blocking of potential goals by opposing teams, and Crawford and Emery have become a goaltending duo that is unlikely considering their past stats and especially with Emery’s hip surgeries which were supposed to end his career. Instead, he’s made an NHL record with 11 wins to start a season, and Crawford has made saves that end up in the reels almost every game night! Every player on this team is making a contribution every game. Unlike the last few years, it seems that these players are hungry again, and ready to do whatever it takes to win each and every game. With a shortened season, each game has more importance than a full seasons regular games, but these Blackhawks are playing like they are in a playoff game every night of the week. Now that the streak is over, the team can finally take a breath. 21-0-3 is a team record, and NHL record, and has even gotten ESPN to mention the Blackhawks on their programs!! Since they usually only give us enough time for a headline, and that’s only if it’s a really huge story, like Torres’ hit on Hossa last year during the playoffs, it must mean that this team is more than just on a streak.

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Kelly’s Pub

80 949 W. WEBSTER

773- 281- 0656

Celebrating

Years of serving beers

Sat. June 8th

VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS

Sunday: Monday:

$15 Miller Lite Buckets & $3 Lagunitas Draft $1 Coors Drafts - $1 Tacos

Tuesday: Wednesday:

$2 Bud & Bud Light Bottles - $1 Burgers $2 Bud Light & Coors Light Drafts, .25 Cent $3 Craft Drafts & $5 Premium Drafts Wings $8 Bud Light & Coors Light Pitchers + $5 3 Olive Vodka Bombs & $5 All Sandwiches $4 Goose Island Green Line Drafts $12 Coors Buckets

Thursday: Friday: Saturday: 32 WHATS UP XTRA

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Whats Up Xtra Chicago May 2013  
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