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Where are you going tonight?

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MAGAZINE

PHOTOS EVENTS DRINK SPECIALS ENTERTAINMENT

FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

773.213.4597

BOTM RJ

WRIGHTWOOD TAP 1059 W WRIGHTWOOD WXtra WHATS UP XTRA 1


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NOVEMBER SPECIALS

2158 N Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205

Sunday $6 Glascott’s Home-made Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets Monday $5 Pints, $5 Call Cocktails $7 Top Shelf Cocktails

PRIVATE PARTY ROOM CALL J.R. 773-281-1205

Beer of the Month:

$4

KONA

LONGBOARD BIG WAVE PIPELINE PORTER

Tuesday $4 Blue Moon & Magic Hat #9 $5 Glasses of Wine Wednesday $4 Pints of Guinness, Harp, Bass and Magners $5 Call Cocktails Thursday $3 Domestic Bottles $4 Well Cocktails

Check out the new craft beer cooler... Featuring Allagash White, Lagunitas, and Kona

LET’S GO BEARS! FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Friday $5 Stella & New Castle Pints $5 Bombs Saturday $4 Mimosas $15 Buckets of Domesic Bottles 773.213.4597

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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued support. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wisconsin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses!

Happy Thanksgiving WANTED: PHOTOGRAPHERS CALL 773-288-9400

TABLE OF CONTENTS

OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher

6 out and about photos 7 ALL MIXED UP

Lisa romack Sales Director

8 news AND STUFF 12 ask the wino 13 HOROSCOPE

Whats Up CHICAGO

JUNE 2012

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BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH

B O T M

FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

JACKY

OUTPUT LOUNGE 773.288-9400

14 are you smarter than chester 16 BAND REVIEW

Jon obert editor

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17 sudoku crossowrd wordfind 18 trivia open mic karaoke 20 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH

Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com Front page photo taken at McGees

by Josh Lobianco

The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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Robert Christiansen Column Writer

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23 THINGS TO DO IN NOVEMBER

Suzi Lichner Contributing jokester lauren strec contributing writer

25-28 bar directory 29 tales from the chris

JOSH LOBIANCO PHOTOGRAPHER

30 la las love letters CHECK OUT

Whats UP Xtra Magazine CHICAGO / SOUTHWEST EDITIONS

GO TO FACEBOOK TO SEE & TAG YOUR PHOTOS

We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


Tue EUCHRE LEAGUES - COME PLAY Wed TRIVIA NIGHT - PRIZES

$10 Off All Bottles of Wine - Over 100 different types - $3 MILLER LITE BOTTLES

Every Friday 2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060 www.fourfarthings.com ry ay Eve - Frid izers y et nda App o e M ric ay Drafts d p y 2 r e 1/ Eve er Lit l l Mi & f the 50 . o 3 $ eer drafts B $4 nth mo

LATE NIGHT PIZZA $2 A SLICE UNTIL CLOSE

LIVE MUSIC

Every Thursday & Saturday

Winter Euchre Leagues Forming Now!

Go To Fourfarthings.Com To Sign Up

WINE WEDNESDAY

$10 OFF CHOOSE FROM A 100 BOTTLE LIST

Whose Clock? A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.” “Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”

indicating that she never told a lie.”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved,

“Incredible,” said the man. “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life,” St. Peter informed him. “Where’s Obama’s clock?” “His clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.” FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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The Four Treys

Roscoe Village’s Friendliest Bar EVERYDAY: $4 Jameson shots &

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Sunday - Thursday:

Since 1884

Friday:

Tavern OPEN MIC COMEDY TUESDAY

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COMFY SEAT TAVERN

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$2.50 Pabst Blue Ribbon

$5.50 bombs & $3.50 Well Drinks Saturday: $8 Bud Lite Pitchers Sunday: $5 Bloody Mary pints

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BEER OF THE MONTH: BROOKLYN PUMPKIN ALE PINTS $5

BOWLING GAME

SAT NOV 9 - ANNUAL CHARITY PUB CRAWL “UGLY SWEATER CRAWL” Sign up - email fourtreys33@gmail.com

LEAGUE ON MONDAYS CALL & ASK FOR JEANINE

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PRIVATE PARTY ROOM - BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTIES TODAY 3333 N. DAMEN

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ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients 1 oz Malibu Rum ¾ oz Canned Pumpkin Pie Filling ½ oz Kahlua 2 oz Cold Milk Mix ingredients in blender with ice and blend thoroughly. Pour into graham cracker-rimmed highball glass and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Thistle Cocktail

Ingredients 1 ½ oz Scotch 1 oz Sweet Vermouth Dashes Angostura Bitters Combine ingredients in a shaker filled with ice, shake and strain into a chilled martini or cocktail glass. 773.213.4597

Sparkling Rye Cocktail

Ingredients 1 oz Rye Whiskey ½ oz Red Grapefruit Juice ½ oz Simple Syrup Sparkling Wine Pour the rye, grapefruit juice and simple syrup into a shaker. Shake over ice and strain into a chilled champagne flute. Then pour in chilled sparkling wine.

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News & Stuff

Samsung Introduces Its New Smartwatch

Technology and You: It's Game Time! Sony has set November 15 for the debut of its new PlayStation 4 videogame console. That's about the same time that rival Microsoft is expected to start selling the new Xbox One.

The PlayStation 4

Sony hasn't released a new game console since 2006 when it came out with PlayStation 3. Since then, it has sold 70 million units. The new console promises to have even more sales. It has had pre-orders for millions of units.

It’s been 40 years since comic book hero Dick Tracy used his watch as a two-way radio. All the kids wanted one. Now, you can have a watch that’s even better than Dick Tracy’s. Samsung’s new Galaxy Gear smartwatch ($299) was introduced recently, and other makers are working on one. Samsung’s watch has to be paired with its Galaxy Note 3 smartphone. When you sync Galaxy Gear with Note 3 (via low-energy Bluetooth), it responds to voice commands. You can make or answer calls, glance at texts, emails, and other alerts at your wrist. The Gear also doubles as a pedometer, stopwatch, timer and music player. If you walk away from the Note 3, the phone screen with automatically lock, then unlock when you get closer.

Some Companies Won't Hire Smokers A growing number of organizations refuse to hire people who smoke. They say smokers raise health insurance costs, and miss work more often. The U.S. smoking rate is about 20 percent, except for those 65 and older, who are half as likely to smoke. People looking for a job would be wise to quit before filling out an application, according to the AARP Bulletin.

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Sony is acquiring new technologies to help it stream games to handheld devices. At $399, the PlayStation 4 will cost $100 less than Microsoft's new offering. Sony is reducing the price of its PlayStation Vita handheld console to $199 from $249. It is also creating a streaming game service that does all the intricate computational work than beams the images over the Web to the console.

The Microsoft Xbox One Microsoft plans to launch its competing Xbox sometime in November. It will be its first new model since 2005 when it released the Xbox 360, which has sold more than 78 million units. Without new hardware, sales of all game consoles have fallen worldwide. Now Microsoft is emphasizing broader possibilities than game playing for the Xbox One. It has such features such as live television viewing and interactions with its Kinect motion controller. It can layer images from a server into images created by the video game console.

The Future of Video Game Consoles Analysts expect both consoles will sell strongly at first, but whether those devices, as well as Nintendo Wii U, released last year, can experience the same success over time as their predecessors remains unclear. As more people play free or inexpensive games on PCs and mobile devices, Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo are feeling more pressure to attract gamers to their products. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


St. jude’s research hospital fundraiser friday november 15th starting @ 6pm

hosted by dwight gramm of chicago beverage systems

WATCH ALL NFL, NCAA BIG TEN GAMES HERE!!!

booze & schmooze

We Sponsor any & all Sports Teams Full Kitchen & Menu 11am - 11pm Book Parties Now! Great Drink Packages Available

$3

Miller Lite 16 ounce aluminum bottles on college football Saturdays & NFL Sundays.1/2 price appetizers all day Saturday

BLACK WEDNESDAY PARTY

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 27TH - DJ @ 9PM OPEN THANKSGIVING DAY THURSDAY NOVEMBER 28TH FROM 3PM - 2AM

1721 W. Wrightwood

773.296.0018

Three Guys...

Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. A memory is sweet, cherish it.

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting,

Unknown

"Your

mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sweet!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally the guy stands up and shouts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!" FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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“Where Friends & Fun Come First”

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NEED A SPORT SPONSOR? GIVE US A CALL LIQUOR/CONVENIENCE STORE ON PREMISES STORE HOURS: MON - FRI: 7AM- 2AM SAT: 7AM - 3AM / SUN: 11AM - 2AM

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Thomas Jefferson, principal author of the Declaration of Independence

Babe’s Bar

miller lite 16oz aluminum bottles Everyday

Sam “Babe” Belpedio

WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY PBR 1 Becks = $2 PINTS

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Big Birthday Coming Up A guy goes in a bar and starts talking with the man sitting next to him. They drink for a while and after some conversation they find out one is rich, one is poor and they both have wives with a birthday coming up. The rich guy tells his new friend that he is getting his wife a beautiful diamond ring and a Ferrari for her birthday. The poor man asks, “Why in the hell would you get her both?” The rich guy replies, “That way if she does not like the ring she can drive the car the jewelry store to return the ring.” The poor man says, “Wow, I just got my wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo.” The rich confused asks, “Why would you get her that combination of gifts?” The poor man replied, “That way if she doesn't like the flip flops she can go screw herself!”

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The Heated Boardroom On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He stopped and in a stern voice asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make about $400 a week. Why?” The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back!” Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?” From across the room a voice said, “That was the pizza delivery guy sir.”

WANTED: PHOTOGRAPHERS CALL 773-288-9400

Ask The Wino… Taking questions

WINO: Junk Digler Likes: Roofs, High fives and Buffalo WIngs Dislikes: Roofs with leaks, wet shoes and dirty drawers

Jules, a Health Care worker asks: I’m a vegetarian and its not always easy to eat properly. I do choose this lifestyle. Why do people make fun of my choice?

WINO: What is wrong with you girl? Raw steak, crispy bacon I could go on and on. I’d rather nail my privates to a park bench with my flip flops

Jack, construction worker asks: Boxers or Briefs? I’ve heard briefs can cause damage if you know what I mean.

WINO: It don’t matter none, just make sure you change em often. Craziest thing my old dark and curly’s grown right through my drawers.

Terry, a teacher asks: I was thinking of getting some work done. Do you approve of plastic surgery?

WINO: My Old Lady Betsy needed some help. That old bag o bones looked like her breasts were running away from her face and don’t get me started on the back side.

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LIVE COUNTRY& WESTERN MUSIC

4659 N. Clark 773.334.2402

OPEN TIL 4AM

CAROLSPUBCHICAGO.COM

MON $1 Draft, $2 Domestic Bottles, $5 Pitchers

#1 D E T VO TE BAR NI O BY E T A L AG C I OM H C . C O IN AG C I H C NBC

TUE $2.75 Domestic Bottles WED $10 PITCHERS of Beer - LIVE BAND + Jam w/ Country Claude 9p-4a THU World Class KARAOKE 9p-4a FRI LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-4a SAT LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-5a SUN $10 PITCHERS of BEER + LIVE BAND

Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a

Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!

NOVEMBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: Take care to keep your temper in check. It's too easy for you to shake up people when you think you're just venting. It may be hard to relate to certain people now.

LIBRA: You are especially slick now. That could take you far as you grease the wheels of progress and smooth out relationships among co-workers.

TAURUS: You're having a sense of ownership over something that might not really be yours. Try to let it go as much as you can. It's a really good time for you to reconsider.

SCORPIO: The stars say there's nothing bad about being a Scorpio. You are determined and forceful while being emotional, intuitive, exciting, and magnetic. Wow.

GEMINI: You are beginning to feel a powerful romantic attraction. You could be entering a danger zone if it's for someone at work. Avoid flirting and walk away. CANCER: If your boss wants you to take on a significant project, but you aren't sure, take it anyway. Have faith in yourself. The boss is a good judge of your capabilities. LEO: Look beyond the obvious and you will be able to determine what isn't being said. In some situations there's more telling than what you can hear. VIRGO: November will be a lucky month for you. Partly because of work you've done already and partly because your potential is being recognized. You've created your luck.

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SAGITTARIUS: It's time to consider the status of your health, which you haven't done for a while. See a doctor for a checkup to determine what areas need more attention. CAPRICORN: When you attend a big family Thanksgiving dinner, take your "live and let live" attitude with you. Some relatives are loving, but some are just aggravating. AQUARIUS: You're generally in control of your finances, but Christmas buying could trip you up. Don't let it happen this year. Plan now for what you can and will do. PISCES: It might feel like you're a fish out of water when it comes to the company Christmas party. It's coming up, so decide now to have a nice time. But be careful about what you will say and when. 773.213.4597

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THE LIGHTER SIDE

Borrow a Newspaper I was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't buy newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

New Company Policy When the company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-odor vodka during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees: If you must drink during your lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It's better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. Which President was the first to establish Thanksgiving as a legal national holiday to be held the 4th Thursday in November?

(a) Abraham Lincoln (b) Franklin D. Roosevelt (c) Thomas Jefferson (d) James Madison 2. In Canada, they celebrate Thanksgiving in what month? (a) November (b) October (c) September (d) May 3. The pilgrims took beer with them on their voyage. True or False?

4. Butterball says the best place to put the meat thermometer in the turkey is: (a) Breast (b) Thigh (c) Top of Leg (d) At an angle so it hits both the meat and stuffing 5. Every year the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA. Which president is believed to be the first to pardon a turkey and start this annual tradition? (a) President Andrew Jackson (b) President Millard Fillmore (c) President Harry Truman (d) President Warren Harding

Want To Hear A Blond Joke?

6. Turkeys can drown if they look up in the rain. True or False?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Want to hear a blonde joke?"

8. Plymouth Rock today is as big as: (a) The size of a car engine (b) The size of the nose on a face on Mt. Rushmore (c) The size of a regular mailbox

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?" The blind guy replied, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Let’s Have A Son A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

7. Back in the early 1600's, the pilgrims didn't have which of the following utensils to eat their Thanksgiving meal with? (a) Spoons (b) Forks (c) Knives

9. There were two ways to cook a turkey back in 1627. One was to roast it using strings and skewers and spinning it vertically. The other was done by using a "tin kitchen" which was set inside the hearth and allowed the turkey to be cooked on a spit and turned. But, the tin kitchen was only for the wealthier. It cost $3 back then. What was that equivalent to? (a) A day's pay (b) A week's pay (c) A month's pay 10. Why is Thanksgiving always observed on a Thursday? (a) The pilgrims felt it was sacrilegious to have a party on the holy Sabbath day (Sunday) (b) It took a lot of time and work to prepare all of this and by Thursday they were done and had to eat it all before things spoiled (c) The pilgrims went to church twice a week; Sundays and mid-prayer on Thursdays. They wanted to use the mid-prayer day as a day of thanksgiving

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

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6. True 7. Forks 8. The size of a car engine 9. A week’s pay 10. c

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, “No, not this time!”

Answers

1. Franklin D. Roosevelt 2. October 3. True 4. Thigh 5. President Harry Truman

He told his wife, “There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

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*Cubs Game Day excluded

BRING IN THIS AD FOR DUELING PIANOS ON FRIDAYS* FOR FREE ADMISSION

#1 LIVE SHOW IN WRIGLEYVILLE


live music

PSYCHO SISTER

by “Joliet” Dave

Shiver is the new release by Chicagoland based powerhouse Psycho Sister and judging by the their debut offering, this band has serious potential to be the next big breakout act from the area. From the opening salvos of the first track “Carnage” and continuing to the crunching finale “Dreams”, Shiver is an explosive heat-seeking missile of first-rate heavy rock. Rather than employ the mindless screaming and one-dimensional musicality that many metal bands embrace these days, Psycho Sister takes the creative high road and proves that melody and inspired writing do have a place in this genre. Lead vocalist Dawn Casey Perreault, guitarist Mark Perreault, bassist Jerome Allen and drummer Scott Turk Tyrcha Sr. are operating on all cylinders here both musically and dynamically. Dawns’ delivery is that of a sinister Grace Slick, draped in leather, powerful and ballsy. The guitars on this release are a cornucopia of tasty licks and hook laden riffs reminiscent of classic Judas Priest. Meanwhile, the rhythm section is a virtual thrill ride of pounding, crushing madness. Not to be left out, engineer Larry Kriz of LnL Recording does a magnificent job here, capturing the band as they were meant to be heard. While there is nothing that can be considered as “filler” on this album, standout tracks include “Carnage”, “Sorrow”, “Punchbox”, “Dreams of Fortune”, “Dirty” and the devilishly clever “Dead”. Shiver is best played in your car, windows down, riding the open highway with the volume set to kill. But however you choose to listen to this release, you will find your head banging, hands drumming and feet stomping. As exceptional as they are in the studio, bear in mind that Psycho Sister should also be on your short list of bands to catch live. In concert, Dawn commands the stage like a demented preacher in a tent show revival. The show is a perfect storm visually and sonically; Dawn and Mark are the lightning while Jerome and Scott provide the thunder. Shiver is available for purchase now at Amazon, iTunes and CD Universe among others. Links can be found at the bands website www.psychosisterband.com. You can also find the band at their Facebook page www.facebook.com/PsychoSisterSicMindMusic.

Psycho Sister will be performing Saturday November 9th at LIVE WIRE, 3394 N. Milwaukee Ave in Chicago and Saturday November 16th at PHYLLIS’S MUSICAL INN located at 1800 W Division, also in Chicago. Be sure to check out Joliet Dave at www.facebook.com/jolietdaveofficial

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Trivia Every Monday

The Beetle 2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago Buffalo Wild Wings 7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago Kirkwood Bar & Grill 2934 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago

Every Tuesday

The Reservoir 844 W Montrose Ave, Chicago Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport Ave, Chicago Sheffield's 3258 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches 6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago

Every Wednesday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago

Four Farthings (8:00pm)

2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Karaoke Every Tuesday Bonsai Bar & Lounge 3503 N Halsted St, Chicago

Every Thursday Carol’s Pub (9:00pm-4:00am) 4659 N Clark, Chicago

Four Farthings (9:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Every Friday

MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago Peek Inn (9:00pm) 2825 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago

Every Saturday

Four Farthings (10:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago

Every Thursday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago Rockit Burger Bar 3700 N Clark St, Chicago

Open Mic Every Tuesday Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333N Damen, Chicago

Pressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago

Every Thursday

Red Line Tap 7006 N Glenwood Ave, Chicago

Every Sunday

Kitchen Sink 1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago

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Dueling Pianos Every Thursday, Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm) 3540 N Clark, Chicago

Call 773-288-9400 to list your Trivia, Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


CLUB BELMONT

Big John’s

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5135 N. Oriole Harwood Heights 708.867.6533

7844 W. Belmont 773.589.2808

The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!

BIKES, BABES & BOOZE

Sick and Wrong!!!

JFK - 50 Years Ago For Americans in their late 50s and older, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was a watershed moment, a blip in time so shocking that everyone can say just where they were and what they were doing. The events of November 23, 1963 should be crystal clear for older adults, but it can hardly be forgotten by people of any age, given the dozens of movies and conspiracy theories. The assassination of President Kennedy occurred during an especially turbulent period in U.S. history. Externally, the nation was just recovering from 13 days of fear during the Cuban Missile Crisis in October 1962. School children practiced bomb drills in anticipation of an attack on the mainland. Parents wondered aloud what good bomb drills would do if a nuclear war ensued. People dug bomb shelters but life went on. Unfortunately for many people, life in the America during the 1960s and 1970s wasn't fair or free, and the great Civil Right Movement began. In an era when the nation moved from shock to shock, on that day in November, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., predicted his own assassination, "This is what is going to happen to me too." His words were quoted by Coretta, his wife, in books and magazines. Five years later in 1968, King's prediction came true in April. Later that year in June, Robert Kennedy was also assassinated. The Vietnam peace movement gained steam by 1965 and protests continued into the 1970s. The coming years will see many 50th anniversaries of the dramatic events of the 1960s, beginning with the assassination of President Kennedy. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE NOVEMBER BARTENDER

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facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400 The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: Kasia Snickers Bar & Grill 448 N State St, Chicago Signature Drink: Polish Apple

OCTOBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Ingredients: Zubrowka Polish Vodkas, Apple Juice Words of Wisdom: “Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.”

Bartender: Masha Babes 4416 N Milwaukee Signature Drink: Raspberry Martini Ingredients: Raspberry Pucker, Vodka, Triple Sec, 7-Up Words of Wisdom: “Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

CONGRATULATIONS Bartender: Kelly McGee’s Tavern & Grille 950 W Webster Ave, Chicago Signature Drink: O Bomb Ingredients: Orange Vodka, Redbull Words of Wisdom: “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

RJ

Wrightwood Tap 1059 W Wrightwood

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo .

Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on November 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

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MARK YOUR NOVEMBER CALENDAR Beer Tasting November 2, 2013 Taste craft beer and vote for the best at Chicago Beer Society’s Fall Tasting & Dinner at Reza’s Restaurant on Ontario St. Beer Festival November 8 - 9, 2013 Beer Hoptacular is all about celebrating craft beers, voting for the best, and hearing live music at Lacuna Artist Loft Studios. Holidays of Light November 14, 2013 - Jan. 5, 2014 See trees decorated to represent many cultures plus weekend ethnic song-and-dance performances during Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light at the Museum of Science & Industry. Wood-Aged Beer Festival November 16, 2013 Enjoy beer with exotic flavors at the Festival of Wood and Barrel Aged Beer, billed as the country’s largest celebration of woodand-barrel-aged beer at the Bridgeport Art Center. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Food and Film Festival November 21 - 23, 2013 With a ticket to Food Film Fest, you get to see films about the world’s favorite foods and eat them at the same time, at Kendall College. Magnificent Mile Lights Festival November 23, 2013 The Magnificent Mile Lights Festival begins midday with family events at Lights Festival Lane in Pioneer Court. The 5:30 p.m. Tree-Lighting Parade starts at Oak Street and runs down Michigan Avenue to the Chicago River, ending in fireworks. All free. Bacon, Sports, and Beer November 23, 2013 Bacon, Sports and Beer Celebration is billed as a hat trick of awesomeness. Sample bacon-inspired creations from 30 restaurants, taste 30 craft beers, and play indoor games to DJ music in the Grand Hall at Union Station. Requires pre-ticket and adult ID. 773.213.4597

Muscle Car Show November 23 - 24, 2013 Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals is an indoor showcase of 500 high-horsepower cars that includes “unveilings” and events for kids at the Rosemont convention center. Holiday market November 26, 2013 Chicago’s Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, which includes a music program on Daley Plaza. Christmas Market Thanksgiving Parade November 28, 2013 State Street from Congress to Washington. Free. Zoo Lights Nov. 29, 2013 - Jan. 5, 2014 ZooLights at the Lincoln Park Zoo Holiday Magic At The Zoo Nov. 30 - Dec. 31, 2013 at the Brookfield Zoo. Check their website for details

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?: Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport Bar Celona

3474 N. Clark

773-244-8000

Mullen’s

Bendan’s Pub

3169 N. Broadway

773-929-2929

Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffield

773-281-5356

Bernie’s

3664 N Clark

773-525-1898

Mystic Celt

3443 N. Southport

773-529-8550

Big City

1010 W. Belmot

773-935-1138

Newport Bar

1344 W Newport

773-325-9111

Blarney Stone

3424 N. Sheffield

773-348-1078

Nick’s Uptown

4015 N Sheridan

773-975-1155

Brew & View

3145 N. Sheffield

773-929-7150

North End

3733 N Halsted

Buck’s Saloon

3439 N. Halsted

773-525-1125

Paddy Long’s

1028 W Diversey

773-348-9711

Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark

773-281-6690

Parrots Bar

754 W Wellington

773-281-7878

Coobah

3423 N. Southport

773-528-2220

Piano Bar

3801 N. Clark

773-528-4033

Cubby Bear

1059 W Addison

773-327-1662

Raw Bar & Grill

3720 N Clark St

773-348-7291

Cullen’s Bar

3741 N. Southport

773-975-0600

Rebel Bar

3462 N. Clark

773-348-9084

Dram Shop

3040 N. Broadway

773-549-4401

Redmond’s

3358 N Sheffield

773-404-2151

Fiesta Cantina

3407 N. Clark

773-975-5980

Roadhouse 66

3330 N. Clark

773-525-8166

Friar Tucks

3010 N. Broadway

773-327-5101

Rockit Bar

3700 N.Clark

773-645-4400

Full Shilling

3724 N. Clark

773-248-3330

Rocks

3463 N. Broadway

773-472-0493

Goose Island

3535 N. Clark

773-832-9040

Roscoe’s

3356 N. Halsted

773-281-3355

Higgins Tavern

3259 N. Racine

773-281-7637

Schoolyard

3258 N Southport

773-528-8226

Holiday Club

4000 N. Sheridan

773-348-9600

Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport

773-525-2508

Irish Oak

3511 N. Clark

Sheffield’s

3258 N Sheffield

773-281-4989

Jack’s Bar

2856 N Southport

773-404-8400

Sidetracks

3349 N. Halsted

773-477-9189

Jacklyn’s Bar

3400 N. Broadway

773-404-5149

Sluggers

3540 N Clark

773-248-0055

Jake’s Pub

2932 N Clark

773-248-3318

Smart Bar

3730 N Clark

773-549-4140

Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway

773-528-1054

Sopo

3418 N. Southport

773-348-0100

John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark

773-549-6000

Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport

773-472-6600

Justin’s

3358 N Southport

773-929-4844

Sports Corner

952 W. Addison

773-929-1441

Kit Kat Lounge

3700 N Halsted

773-525-1111

Take 5 Bar

3747. Southport

773-871-5555

L&L Tavern

3207 N. Clark

773-528-1303

Toon’s

3857 N. Southport

773-935-1919

Little Jim’s

3501 N. Halsted

773-871-6116

Town Hall Pub

3340 N Halsted

773-472-4405

Lucky’s 3

472 N. Clark

773-549-0665

Trace

3714 N. Clark

773-477-3400

Mad River

2909 N. Sheffield

773-935-7500

Trader Todd’s

3216 N Sheffield

773-348-3250

Matilda

3101 N Sheffield

773-883-4400

Vaughans Pub

2917 N. Sheffield

773-281-8188

Matisse

674 W. Diversey

773-528-6670

Vines

3554 N. Clark

773-327-8572

Merkles

3516 N Clark

773-244-1025

Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan

773-929-9543

Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark

773-549-4140

Yak-Zies Bar

773-525-9200

Monsignor Murphys

773-348-7285

3019 N. Broadway

FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

773.213.4597

3527 N Clark

773-325-2319

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old Town Augie's

1721 W. Wrightwood

773-296-0018

McGinny's Tap

313 W. North

773-943-5228

Bird's Nest

2500 N. Southport

773-472-1502

Mickey's

2450 N. Clark

773-435-0007

Blue's

2519 N. Halsted

773-525-8317

O' Brien's

1528 N. Wells

312-787-3131

Burton's Place

1447 N. Wells

773-664-4699

Old Town Ale

219 W. North

773-944-7020

Burwood Tap

7242 W. Wrightwood

773-525-2593

Old Town Pub

1339 N. Wells

773-266-6789

Clybar

417 N. Clybourn

773-388-1877

O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln

773-935-2719

Corcoran's

1615 N. Wells

773-440-0885

Orso's

1401 N. Wells

773-787-6604

Delilah's

2771 N. Lincoln

773-472-2771

Ravens

2326 N. Clark

773-348-1774

Duffy's

422 W. Diversey

773-549-9090

River Shannon

425 W. Armitage

773-944-5087

Durkin's

810 W. Diversey

773-525-2515

Rocks

1301 W. Schubert

773-472-7728

Elbo Room

2817 N. Lincoln

773-549-5549

Saluki Bar

1208 N. Wells

773-274-1824

Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark

773-348-6489

Suite Lounge

1446 N. Wells

773-787-6106

Four Farthings

2060 N. Cleveland

773-935-2060

The Apartment

2251 N. Lincoln

773-348-5100

Frank's

2503 N. Clark

773-549-2700

The Local Option 1102 W. Webster

773-348-2008

Galway Arms

2442 N. Clark

773-472-5555

The Other Side

2436 N. Clark

773-525-8238

Gamekeepers

345 W. Armitage

773-549-0400

Tin Lizzie

2483 N. Clark

773-549-1132

Glascott's

2158 N. Halsted

773-281-1205

Tonic Room

2447 N. Halsted

773-248-8400

Goose Island

1800 N. Clybourn

773-915-0071

Weeds

1555 N. Dayton

312-943-7815

Halligan's Pub

2274 N. Lincoln

773-472-7940

Wellingtons

1300 W. Wellington

773-528-0654

Halsted Harp

2138 N. Halsted

773-348-3665

Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln

773-929-1300

Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln

773-883-0304

Witts

773-528-7032

Irish Eyes

773-348-9548

Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood

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2519 N. Lincoln

Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed

773-337-3486

John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln

773-348-8899

John's Place

1200 W. Webster

773-525-6670

Kelly's Pub

949 W. Webster

773-281-0656

Kendall's Pub

2263 N. Lincoln

773-348-7200

Kincade's

950 W. Armitage

773-348-0010

Kingston Mines

2548 N. Halsted

773-477-4646

Lincoln Station

2432 N. Lincoln

773-472-8100

Lincoln Tap

3010 N. Lincoln

773-868-0060

Lion Head Pub

2251 N. Lincoln

773-348-5100

Max Bar

2247 N. Lincoln

773-549-5884

McGee's

950 W. Webster

773-549-8200

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2913 N. Lincoln

773-459-4949

Code Word: Washing Machine A husband and wife decide to make a password for sex in case the children are in the room. They decide their secret phrase will be “washing machine”. Later that night, while they are getting the little ones ready for bed, the husband says, “Washing machine.” The wife replied, “Not tonight darling I have a sore head.” About a half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” The husband replied, “Too late my love, it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?: Northwest

Paddy Macks

4157 N. Pulaski

773-279-9300

Babe’s

4416 N. Milwaukee

773-545-3137

Rabbits

4945 W Foster

773-736-5766

Bill’s Pub

4104 N. Pulaski

773-202-0020

Roman’s

6448 N. Milwaukee

773-467-9827

Brigadoon

5748 W Lawrence

773.777.2403

Sidekicks

4424 W Montrose

773-545-6212

Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose

773-736-2337

Six Penny Bit

5800 W. Montrose

773-545-2033

Casual Tap

5924 W Montrose

773-283-9490

Thatch Pub

5707 N. Milwaukee

773-763-8179

Charlotte’s Bar

6000 W Gunnison

773-775-3616

Three Counties

5856 N. Milwaukee

773-631-3351

Club Belmont

7844 W. Belmont

773-598-2808

Tommy’s

6954 W Higgins

773-631-4451

Di’s Den

5100 W Irving Park

773-736-7170

Trinity Pub

5943 N. Northwest

773-763-0095

Dugan’s

6051 N. Milwaukee

773-467-5555

Vaughan’s Pub

5485 Northwest

773-631-9206

Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted

773-775-1404

Windsor Tavern

4530 N. Milwaukee

773-736-3400

Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson

773-561-6674

Zachary’s

5368 N Milwaukee

773-792-0933

Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston

773-685-8083

Filonek’s

6213 N. Milwaukee

773-775-5010

Galvin’s Public

5901 W Lawrence

773-205-0570

Gladstone’s

5734 N. Milwaukee

773-763-3385

Ham Tree Inn

5333 N. Milwaukee

773-792-2072

Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston

773-774-4166

Harwood Bar

6438 W. Montrose

708-867-7781

Hops N Barley

4359 N Milwaukee

773-286-7415

Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee

773-775-7587

Jimmy Macks

5581 N. Northwest

773-631-1466

Joe E’s Lounge

4206 W Irving Park

773-283-3422

Landmark Pub

5135 N. Oriole

773-867-6533

Lasko’s

5525 N Milwaukee

773-774-9800

Lizard Lounge

3058 W. Irving Park

773-463-7599

Margaret’s

5134 W. Irving Park

773-685-4493

Mary’s Place

6300 N. Milwaukee

773-775-7587

MCM Pub

3906 N. Cicero

773-736-2644

McNamaras

4328 W Irving Park

773-725-1800

Mo Dailey’s

6070 N. Northwest Hwy

773-774-6121

Moretti’s

6727 N. Olmsted

773-631-1223

Mrs. O’Leary’s

4368 N. Milwaukee

773-427-7300

Mug Shots

7718 W. Addison

773-625-8466

Murrays

5522 N Elston

773-774-3466

Night Caps

5007 W Irving Park

773-282-8654

Nil’s Tap

5734 N. Elston

773-594-1288

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Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. Warren Buffett, business magnate, investor and philanthropist

Escaped Convict Hides Out In Suburban Home

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife. “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.” To which his wife responds, “He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?:

Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile 240 Lounge

3948 W. Lawrence

773-267-0474

Huetten Bar

4721 N. Lincoln

773-561-2507

42 Latitude

3341 N Western

773-910-1473

Jury's

4337 N. Lincoln

773-935-2255

Abbey Pub

3420 W. Grace

773-478-4408

Katerina's

1902 W. Irving

773-348-7592

Atlantic Bar

5062 N. Lincoln

773-506-7090

Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland

773-857-3800

Bad Dog

4535 N. Lincoln

773-334-4040

Leadway Bar

5233 N. Damen

773-728-2663

Big Joe’s

1818 W Foster

773-784-8755

Long Room

1612 W. Irving

773-665-4500

Black Rock

3614 N. Damen

773-348-4044

Margie's Pub

4145 N. Lincoln

773-477-1644

Brendan’s Too

3135 W. Montrose

773-463-2771

Mulligan's

2000 W. Roscoe

773-549-4225

Brownstone

3937 N. Lincoln

773-528-3700

Mutiny

2428 N. Western

773-486-7774

Carol’s Pub

4659 N Clark

773-334-2402

Oakwood 83

1969 W. Montrose

773-327-2785

Celtic Crown

4301 N. Western

773-588-1110

O'Donovan's

2100 W. Irving

773-478-2100

Chicago Joe's

2256 W. Irving

773-478-7000

O'Lanagan

2335 W. Montrose

773-583-2252

Chief O'Neills

3471 N. Elston

773-583-3066

Peek Inn

2825 W. Irving Park

773-267-5197

Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie

773-463-1768

Rail Bar

4709 N Damen

773-878-9400

Claddagh Ring

773-271-4794

Richochet's

4644 N. Lincoln

773-271-3127

Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry

773-528-4050

Riverview

1958 W. Roscoe

773-871-1200

Daily's Bar

4560 N. Lincoln

773-561-6198

Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison

773-472-6160

Farraguts

5240 N Clark

773-728-4903

Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln

773-281-1444

Finley Dunnes

3458 N. Lincoln

773-477-7311

Side Street

1456 W. George

773-327-1127

Fizz

3220 N. Lincoln

773-348-6000

Silvie's

1902 W. Irving

773-871-6239

Foley's

1841 W. Irving

773-929-1210

Small Bar

2956 N. Albany

773-509-9888

Four Moon

1847 W. Roscoe

773-929-6666

Stadium West

3188 N. Elston

773-866-2450

Four Shadows

2758 N. Ashland

773-248-9160

Ten Cat Tavern

3931 N. Ashland

773-935-5377

Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen

773-549-8845

The Temple

3001 N. Ashland

773-248-0990

Fuller's Pub

3203 W. Irving

773-478-8060

Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence

773-878-1136

Gio’s

4857 N. Damen

773-334-0345

Villiage Tap

2055 W. Roscoe

773-883-0817

Hidden Cove

5336 N. Lincoln

773-275-3955

Waterhouse

3407 N. Paulina

773-871-1200

Hidden Cove

5338 N. Lincoln

773-275-6711

Wild Goose

4265 N. Lincoln

773-281-7112

Horseshoe

4115 N. Lincoln

773-248-1366

Windy City Inn

2257 W. Irving

773-588-7088

2306 W. Foster

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TA L E S F R O M T H E C H R I S

Summer of Fortitude By Rob Christiansen

Margaret caught me looking at her Department of Motor Vehicles letter, opened and lying on the table. She is six feet away, on the carpet, in front of the stairs. I feel mentally transported from her kitchen to I Don’t Nowhere even though I’ve been in a similar house 6,000 times. “Water, if you have it,” I mindlessly reply. Under the circumstances it’s hard to believe she offered me a beverage instead of a cigarette. Maybe she assumes, correctly, that I don’t smoke. “I don’t have Perrier, if that’s what you’re accustomed to,” she says humorously while stepping, bare feet inside soft, black slippers, onto the earth tones, asphalt-tiled floor. She takes a glass from a cupboard above her sink. She opens her freezer. She mauls the ice bin in the door. She drops ice in the glass. The sound throughout is thunderous. She runs the tap like Niagara Falls on the Canadian side. We were there when I was nine. It occurs to me that maybe Rick really can hear the ocean’s waves from his roof. Margaret hands me the glass and incidentally touches my finger. Mine presses the buzzer outside heaven… or hell. “You look hot,” she says even though she doesn’t hug me or say she’s lonely and wants a sweaty landscaper with b.o. That would soil her scarf. Maybe I look like someone who just mowed her lawn on a 90-degree day. “I see you’ve been catching up on your reading.” I chug the water, standing because I’m not offered a seat. Leonardo da Vinci painted a face and Margaret’s parents reproduced it. She has dimples resembling asterisks within lines resembling parentheses, and I try to read her. Her long, straight blond hair parts right of center on top of her head and is darker than blond up there. She had been wearing sunglasses for practical purposes behind the wheel of her VW when we met two days ago. Now it’s clear to see that her eyes are blue. They play lead in “A Smile” although her mouth aptly substitutes making her oval face an imperfect reproduction of the da Vinci masterpiece. “Margaret,” I say in two syllables, using her name as a shield though she doesn’t look dangerous. She wears the diaphanous yellow scarf, tied loosely, hanging to belt loops of green shorts. The scarf can’t hide the footprint of the American chicken on a black t-shirt and her car door isn’t available to conceal her slender legs. She is 5’6” and her legs are roughly half that but they’re smooth, not rough. Her shorts are not denim, unlike my blue pair. They can’t stay blue much longer! Crazy thought, crazy shorts, exaggeratedly fringed because that’s how they came out of the dryer once I’d cut them. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

“Yes?” she drawls like a teacher waiting to hear my excuse. “I wanted to address you by name so you’d know I remembered it.” I hand her the glass. It isn’t fair that I read Margaret’s damn DMV letter! Now there’s no proof I already knew her name. But I would have guessed she was younger than twenty six, and maybe I should tell her that. I’m sure you said ‘address’ me,” she says, refilling the glass. She hands it back. I KNOW I didn’t say “undress.” My fear of saying “undress” to Margaret is worse than my fear of mowing over a toad and there’s a shin guard for that. She’s got to be toying with me. Still, I should e-nun-ci-ate. I drink the water. “Are you a Mets fan?” I ask as a Long Islander would a potential friend. “Being from As-tor-i-a? Your previous ad-dress? Did you attend your prom? Did you go to the World’s Fair? Did you see The Beat-les at Shea Stadium?” The song “Rock the Boat” ends, and the same band plays on. I’m surprised because you only hear “Rock the Boat” on the radio. My mother plays the stereo or records—Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Andy Williams, Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass, Sergio Mendez & Brazil 66, and et al—when the TV isn’t on or I’m not practicing piano. I’ve taken lessons since fourth grade. I practice only fifteen minutes a day now, much to her chagrin. At least Margaret isn’t old enough to be…. Margaret answers my questions in the affirmative and I’m transported again. This time it’s her description of her prom dress and reminiscences of her prom at Terrace on the Park, of her adventures at the New York World’s Fair in 1964 and 1965 with her family, and of her 1965 Beatles’ concert experience with friends, sitting in the first-base-side upper deck at Shea Stadium, that take me through “The Time Tunnel.” Margaret may have watched that show too when she was as old as I am now. “I saw the Mets in 62 B.S.—before Shea Stadium,” she says. I failed to sit down in our duck-duck-goose and can see the future: She pays me while showing me to the door. But I will see her again as surely as the grass will grow. “The Mets won last night!” I sputter. “You met someone last night?” She misunderstands me or pretends to for a second time. She’s either a real stickler for enunciation or she uses confusion as a conversation piece. “It’s nice in here,” I say like an inexperienced driver trying to shift gears. (My mother’s Toyota Celica was in the shop in April because of me.) I’m referring to the air conditioning, but in all fairness to Margaret the remark is vague. I pluck my cold, wet t-shirt at my racing heart as though pantomiming a charades clue. She doesn’t respond. I quit the charades. It’s time to break down and apologize for reading her DMV letter before I go.

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La La’s Love Letters Dear La La, Six months ago I landed a good job at a small but lucrative firm. My boss, who’s the highest ranking person there, decided to stick me in his office just 2 feet away from him at all times. My boss is notoriously cheap and the word is that he doesn't want to pay to rent extra space. So what’s the problem? He is smoking hot and all I think about all day every day is where and how I might “do him” in our cozy little love nest. I wonder if he keeps me close for financial reasons or if there is by Lauren Strec a possibility he feels the same about me. Should I approach him about the way I feel and see if it is mutual or should I keep my secret fantasies to myself? Horny Helen Dear Horny, Change your panties, and keep that shit to yourself. If he doesn’t accept your “offer,” you could blow everything! Or at least make the close quarters even more awkward. You’re still a newbie at the firm, so before you make any moves, get some time under your belt: both in seniority at work, and getting to know him a little better. Find out why someone so handsome is such a tightwod, and [assumingly] single. Time can answer your question about his feelings towards you, without jeopardizing your good job. Dear LaLa, I was in a monogamous relationship with my girlfriend for two years. We split up and remained platonic friends. Months later, on a drunken night, we had sex. At that point, neither of us had slept with anyone else. After we had sex that night and the demon was released. I went on to sleep with three other women over the course of the next few months. Now my ex-girlfriend and I may get back together, and she has asked the question: Have I slept with anyone else? So far, I have managed to avoid answering her. We are currently sleeping together and I don’t want to jeopardize the possibility of a reunion. Do I have to tell her? Playing Pete Dear Pete, Women WILL investigate if we suspect something. With that said, you might as well just say it. Because there’s a strong chance that she will find out anyway, and when she discovers you lied… watch out. The potential argument you have now will be much more workable than a post-lie argument. Bite the bullet and say that there were three girls, you used a condom, and that they sucked in bed. Don’t be ashamed when you say it, and follow up that you haven’t slept with anyone since you and her started getting it on again. If she starts blowing up, keep your cool and DON’T apologize. Being ashamed or portraying that you’re guilty will create an atmosphere that you are wrong, she is right, and then she’ll have power to be upset. Tell her that it’s not fair to be punished for something that took place when no relationship or boundaries were established, and that you would appreciate if she thought about that. In the end, you want a girl that uses logic, so the result of this convo will either reveal someone you can keep, or someone you can keep… at arm’s length. Oh, and hey: she may admit that she slept with 3 guys, so be prepared to use some logic yourself if she drops that bomb.

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Dear LaLa, I need your help. I'm 35 and I believe I'm running out of time to get married and have a family. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. I like her and she is a beautiful person with a great career and dedicated to me. We live together and admire her deeply. However, I just recently met a girl that I had a sexual relationship with and she turns my stomach inside out and I can't stop thinking about her. This new girl told me to lose her phone because I was never going to break up with my girlfriend. What should I do? Break up or forget this girl ever happened and get married with my girlfriend or continue seeing her on the side and see where it goes? Confused Dear Confused, You’re not running out of time. And you’re definitely not ready for a relationship, let alone marriage. You “like” your girlfriend of 4 years? You “admire her deeply” enough to stick it to a side chick? You have to leave both of these women, and stop putting a deadline to settling down. 35 is not old, and there’s no doubt you need to grow up. There’s nothing wrong with “exploring” a few women, as long as you are a bachelor! What IS wrong, is being with more than one woman and holding both their hearts while you figure out what the hell you want. Break up with your girlfriend because she doesn’t do it for you, tuck away your boner for the side chick because she already knows you’re a cheater and will never trust you, and live it up as a single man until you find the woman that does everything for you, and just as important: you do everything for her. This may happen next year, or when you’re 50. Who cares? Just do it right. Dear LaLa, Today, my boyfriend left for Italy to play baseball for a semi-pro team. He will be staying there for a number of months and during this time, I will not be able to see him, and I'll rarely get to talk to him. He's the only guy I've ever loved, and I'm the only girl he's ever loved, so his leaving is extremely hard on both of us. I’m worried he will not be able to focus on his career because he will be so worried about what I am doing and missing me, so I was contemplating ending things. This way, he'd spend a couple weeks being sad, but he'd get over it, and concentrate on his future. I pray when it’s all over we are able to get back together and that we still feel the same about one another. Am I crazy to sacrifice my future to help him achieve his dream? Worried Wanda Dear Wanda, Long-distance relationships are not promising. I can understand your contemplation to just nip it in the butt and end it. But don’t. You’re always going to wonder if don’t at least give it a shot. I realize you won’t be able to communicate often, but if there is some point during the day, where you both have 10 minutes, even if you have to wake up at 3 in the morning, get on the webcam and just talk. Don’t put anything on hold, and see what happens. He will be busy with his work, and you should keep living your life as you would. If your love for each other withstands the time and distance, you really have something, and you’ll be glad that you stayed. And if it doesn’t work out, then you’ll never have to question, “what if.”

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook. com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos

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Kelly’s Pub

80 949 W. WEBSTER

773- 281- 0656

Celebrating

Years of serving beers

VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS

Sunday: Monday: Tuesday: Wednesday:

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What's Up Xtra Magazine Chicago November 2013  
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