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purple mustang gazette• Thursday, March 28, 2013
COACH MARSHALL ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT, SWITCH TO STUDENT POLITICS James Leary
I n come T a x C l i n ic C oordi n ator Due to the Western Mustangs football team’s recent string of Yates Cup failures, Coach Greg Marshall has decided to go the way of Bob Vigars and Dave Edwards. On Wednesday, Coach Marshall announced he will be leaving his job as Mustangs football coach for greener pastures. Following his retirement announcement, Marshall revealed his new career path as a University Students’ Council advisor. “Donnie is leaving and who really cares about anyone but the quarterback, so I have decided to join a real winning team,” Marshall said with a nod to president-elect Pat Whelan. “Athletics just was not doing it for me at my age, so I figured I’d try my hand at student politics.” Having both coached and played for the Mustangs during his tenure in London, Marshall believed it was the right decision to make the move from the Kirkley Training Centre to the cozy confines of the University Community Centre. “I was really sick of watching tape in my corner office down by the field—I really wanted a thrill,” Marshall explained. “I know I would rather moderate an 11-hour debate than pore over film of our zone blitzes.” Ironically, Marshall showed up to his press conference in tight red
pants and the belief is Marshall only considered the move once Whelan won the election. “Heck, who doesn’t look good in red,” Marshall said to an applauding group of reporters. Along with giving motivational talks to council, Marshall will be tasked with public relations and bodyguard duty for the 2013–14 academic year. With connections to some of the largest men on campus through his former role, Marshall believes the USC is in good hands.
Athletics just was not doing it for me at my age, so I figured I’d try my hand at student politics. —Greg Marshall Former head coach of the Western Mustangs.
“I think I will add a lot of skills and intangibles to this already-great council,” Marshall said. “Everyone is touting them, saying ‘All hail the USC,’ but really they have only taken the first step toward greatness.” Though counselling the USC is a big career move for Marshall, it does not spell the end of Marshall’s coaching days. “I think I can really be an asset to the USC’s ball hockey team,” Marshall said. “They can’t seem to keep it together against those darn Gazette editors, but really all they need is a strong leader.”