Church

38 The West Dorset Magazine, July 1, 2022 Church Exploring grief as another aspect of love

By Canon Deb Smith, Team Rector of Bridport

One of the privileges of priesthood is being with families when they are bereaved, helping them to reflect on the life of a loved one, to celebrate a life well-lived and to be able to grieve for the one they have lost. When someone we love dies, it can feel totally shattering, even a loss that is expected can plunge us into shock we did not anticipate. And the death of one we love which comes unexpectedly, when life is cut short abruptly, is bitter and hard to bear. Grief is experienced in so many ways, each of us makes that journey differently and in our way. Perhaps that is why sorrow can be so isolating, it can feel like no one else in the whole world knows what you are going through, and indeed nobody does entirely. Yet the kindness of friends, family and often strangers too, can help. Being able to grieve in your own way, with the cushion of kindness when you need it. When talking to bereaved people, I want to look for hope, even in the deep sadness of the pain they are in. And hope is found in the love they have for the person they loved and have lost. Love which binds us to somebody even after they have died. Love that never ends, love that even in the dark days of raw grief, can help us to believe they will always be a part of our life, for their life has enriched our own. In an interview discussing her most recent book Hamnet, the novelist Maggie O’Farrell shares a great analogy on grief. It started with research she needed to do on embroidery for her novel, an area in which she was previously unfamiliar. O’Farrell approached a friend with experience on the subject. She said: “We were looking at this beautiful thing she had made, and she turned it over and the back was much more complicated, and quite messy,” “In a sense that’s what grief is: you turn love inside out, like a sock or a glove, that’s what you find, isn’t it? Grief is just the other side of love.”

TOUGH TIMES: Grief is experienced in so many ways

Services

Sunday, July 3 Sherborne Abbey 8am Holy Communion 9.30am Parish Eucharist 6pm Evensong St Martin of Tours, 10am Family Service St James the Great, Longburton 10am Village Communion St Paul’s at The Gryphon 10.30am Morning Worship St Mary Magdalene, Castleton 11am Mattins Beaminster, St Mary of the Aunnunciation 8am Eucharist 9.30am Eucharist Broadwindsor - The Nativity of St John the Baptist 9.30am Eucharist Drimpton St Mary 9.30am Morning Prayer Meplash – Christ Church 9.30am Eucharist Mosterton – St Mary 11am Eucharist Netherbury – St Mary 6pm Evening Prayer South Perrott – St Mary 11am Morning Prayer Stoke Abbott – St Mary 6pm Evensong Toller Porcorum – St Andrew & St Peter 3.30pm Evening Prayer Bridport Catholic Church 10am Mass Swyre 6pm Evening Prayer Burton Bradstock 9.30am Family Worship Chilcombe 6.30pm Evening Prayer Dorchester United Church 10.30am Morning Worship and Junior Church

Tuesday July 5 Seaborough St John 6pm Hymns and Pimms; a service of favourites hymns and readings, followed by Pimms

Sunday, July 10 Sherborne Abbey 8am Holy Communion 9.30am Parish Eucharist 6pm Evensong St Martin Of Tours, Lillington 10am Holy Communion St James The Great, Longburton 10am Holy Communion St Paul’s at The Gryphon 10.30am Holy Communion St Mary Magdalene, Castleton 11am Holy Communion Toller Percorum 11am Eucharist South Perrott 11am Eucharist

Friday, July 15 Sherborne Abbey 11am Remembering The Fallen

n Every Sunday at St Mary’s in Litton Cheney Paul Cheater, organist and Lay Worship Leader is now leading the Morning Prayer for St Gregory’s Church in Boca Raton, Florida, every week. You can join him: facebook.com/SaintGregor ys/videos/13119591358782