Unfortunately, while improving verbal skills can mean better communication, by school-age (if not earlier!) kids have often perfected the art of feigning it as well, which makes the evaluation process even trickier. According to WebMD. com, 10% of kids will try to dupe their parents into letting them stay home at some point in their school days. So how to factor this into my 15 minute evaluation? Andrea Smith is a school counsellor and is well aware that children sometimes look to avoid school. While bullying may often come first to mind, there are other possible causes as well. “It is critical to rule bullying out, as well as look at other possibilities, such as academic concerns, and separation and social anxieties.” She encourages parents to look out for emerging patterns of wanting to stay home and possible causes, such as friendship issues, academic worries (like tests or exams) or a sudden improvement in their “illness” once the morning bell has rung and they think they’ve successfully avoided school. And while those of us that have wasted a day’s vacation entertaining a healthy child can feel hugely frustrated, Smith affirms that letting your child know calmly, matter-of-factly and positively that unless someone is ill, everybody is expected to go to school, is really the best way to handle it. “It’s very important not to over-react and to remain non-threatening because if there is an underlying issue, you want them to open up and get to the bottom of it.” At the end of the day, having a good relationship with your child and trusting your instincts seem to be the best tools for “making the call” and will most likely to help you avoid unnecessary lost work days. Lorden recommends “silent monitoring” to avoid accidentally suggesting or encouraging a plea for a day off, which also gives you the time to think it through for yourself. Dr. Ahmad suggests that some of the indicators that they use to evaluate kids in the ER can be easily used by parents and that a good overall way to assess is to ask “How does the kid look? Are they lethargic? Do they have low energy? Do they seem needy?” But he also adds that “at the end of the day, it comes down to common sense and gut instinct.” My own recent “tummy ache” incident ironically started with some pretty convincing pain showing on my son’s face, continued with ongoing clutching of the stomach, followed by a trip to the toilet and a substantial amount of flatulence, and ended with one happy little chap off to daycare and my world back on its axis for another day. Crisis averted—for now.
How to Tell When Your Child is Truly Sick Any or all of these symptoms are a good sign that your child is not just trying to get out of going to school: • Fever • Vomiting/Diarrhea • Constant coughing, sometimes accompanied by chest pain, wheezing or trouble breathing • Dehydration • Irritability (meaning they’re inconsolable and fussy) • Lethargy (meaning it’s difficult to keep them awake) • Severely decreased activity levels (if they’re running instead of jumping, that doesn’t count) • Headache or muscle pain • Pale or flushed skin, sometimes with a waxy or greenish tinge • Lack of appetite
How to Tell When He/She is Faking • He sends side glances at you while clutching his stomach • Complains of dizziness when it’s time for school, then jumps for joy when you keep him home • No fever, headache, muscle pain or persistent cough • Healthy appetite, especially for treats • Your gut tells you you’re being played
November/December 2011
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