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Eight Biblical Reasons Why Christians Must Not Get Divorced by Nolan McFadden
I. Divorce is a sin against God. Divorce is disobedience to the command of Jesus found in Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9. Regarding marriage, in Matthew 19:6 Jesus said, "…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man (mankind - including judges, counselors, attorneys, family) put asunder (separate)." Likewise, Malachi 2:15-16 reveals that God literally "hates" divorce. God hates divorce because it destroys His plan for the family. In Malachi 2:15 the husband and wife are regarded as “one.” This teaching is based on God's plan revealed in the marriage union of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18-24. God's purpose is the testimony of a unified, godly marriage and family that results in children who grow up to have unified, godly marriages and families. It is the preservation of a "godly seed" from generation to generation. Malachi explains, "And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed." (Malachi 2:15) Divorce is against God's will as revealed in the Scriptures. Therefore, that which is contrary to God's will should be regarded as a false path - Satan's will for Christians (John 8:43-44). II. Divorce damages a Christian's testimony for our LORD JESUS CHRIST. How? Your marriage is an important part of your personal testimony and your spouse is your first ministry before God (Ephesians 5:22-23, Titus 2:3-5, I Peter 3:1-7). How seriously does God regard this testimony? Titus 2:3-5 reveals that women who are not sober, loving their husbands and children, discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good and obedient to their own husbands are causing God's Word to be blasphemed. Likewise, I Peter 3:7 indicates that the prayers of husbands will be hindered if they do not dwell with their wives according to knowledge and honor them. How can you expect others to respect your testimony and receive your faith, if it has not worked in your marriage? Christian marriage is an eternal picture of Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:22-23). Divorce destroys this eternal, "living picture" witness of CHRIST´s love demonstrated in your marriage. Therefore, contrary to the teachings of those who rationalize divorce, God really does take your marriage testimony seriously. Ill. Divorce breaks your sacred marriage vows before God. From God's perspective, as revealed in the Scriptures, marriage is a lifetime covenant until the other spouse dies (Matthew 19:6, Romans 7:1-3, I Corinthians 7:39). The marriage vow is, "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do us part." Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 exhorts, 'When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.” IV. According to Jesus, divorce is the result of a sin-hardened heart. Our Lord Jesus said, "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so (Matthew 19:8)." In the second part of this verse, Jesus referred to God's plan for marriage as revealed in the marriage union of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18-24. According to God's plan, one woman was created to be one man's helper and companion (Genesis 2:18). By God's design, this first marriage was a lifetime marriage covenant. In Matthew 19:8 Jesus directed those Pharisees who were attempting to rationalize divorce to God's plan for marriage as revealed in Genesis 2:18-24. Divorce was not included in God's plan for marriage. In modern times we see widespread rebellion toward God's plan for marriage by means of sin.
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Bitterness and disobeying Christ's command to forgive a spouse is the most common problem in the hearts of those seeking divorce. In like manner, not trusting God to work in the heart and life of the other spouse results in disobedience to the teachings of God's Word regarding marriage. V. The sin of divorce will be passed on to your children, grand-children and greatgrandchildren as revealed in Exodus 20:5-6. How? Without genuine repentance and change, the same attitudes and actions of the parents will be patterned by the children. For example, the spouse who is disobedient to her husband, disrespectful, disloyal, dishonest, slanderous, unforgiving, unfaithful, self-centered and stubborn will have children who struggle with these same problems. Moreover, if you don't love your spouse in deed and in truth (I John 3:18), as evidenced by abandonment, neglect and divorce, you cannot possibly love God as demonstrated in I John 4:20. Why? Your Christian spouse is a brother or sister in the Lord. I John 4:20 declares, "If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" Reconciliation is always God's will for Christians (Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-17). God expects you to put forth a sincere effort to reconcile with your spouse and to restore your marriage. To not seek reconciliation is disobedience to God. Jesus said, "And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say (Luke 6:46)?" VI. Divorce establishes a bad example for other Christian marriages. Without a doubt, your example has an impact on the lives of others. Moreover, you are accountable to God for your actions and attitudes (II Corinthians 5:20). There is even a greater accountability if you are a Christian leader (James 3:1). Your divorce will weaken the marriages of others who regard you as a role model. Other Christians begin wondering if they might be "happier" divorced. It's the easy way out for those facing marriage problems. However, true inner happiness (joy) comes as we choose to obey God's Word. The world's happiness is temporary and is a counterfeit of Satan. The Devil's path results in guilt, shame, confusion or rationalization. In modern times we see widespread rebellion toward God's plan for marriage by means of sin. Bitterness and disobeying Christ's command to forgive a spouse is the most common problem in the hearts of those seeking divorce. In like manner, not trusting God to work in the heart and life of the other spouse results in disobedience to the teachings of God's Word regarding marriage. One of the causes of divorce is adultery. Those who have committed adultery must repent of their sin, forsake it and seek God's forgiveness. They must also seek forgiveness from their spouses. But adultery is not a biblical grounds for divorce during the church age. The only biblical grounds for divorce in the New Testament is fornication. The word fornication () does not have the same meaning as the word adultery () in the exception clause of Matthew 5:32;19:9. If the author intended readers to understand adultery to be the basis of divorce, he would have used the word adultery (). Rather, we find the word fornication () in the exception clause. Moreover, Jesus distinguished between the words fornication and adultery in His teachings. See Matthew 15:19. Likewise, the apostle Paul distinguished between fornication and adultery in I Corinthians 6:9-11 where he lists the word "fornicators"separate from "adulterers." In Matthew 19:9 Jesus said, "..Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commiteth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Notice again that the word 'fornication" is used in the exception clause instead of the word "adultery." This distinguishes "fornication" from "adultery"(unbiblical remarriage) within this verse. In Matthew 19:9 the word "fornication" is used in reference to the Hebrew betrothal time before marriage. See Deuteronomy 22. Under Hebrew law, a husband could "put away" his wife to be if she was guilty of sexual immorality with someone else before their marriage was consummated. An excellent example of this is seen in the account of Joseph and Mary as recorded in Matthew 1:18-19. "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: when as his mother Mary was espoused to
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Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily." Joseph thought that Mary had become pregnant by means of sexual immorality before their marriage had been consummated. As a result, Joseph was planning to "put her away" because of fornication until the angel of the Lord assured him that Mary had been faithful. Mary had become pregnant by means of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 1:20). In addition, contrary to contemporary rationalization, "abuse" and "incompatibility" are not biblical grounds for divorce. For a time, separation may be necessary in order to correct a problem in a marriage (I Corinthians 7:1011). However, divorce is not God's solution for these problems. Genuine repentance and forgiveness are necessary (II Timothy 2:19). Reconciliation is always God's will for Christian marriages. VII. Divorce brings temptation to fall into the sins of adultery or fornication in order to meet needs that were intended to be met righteously within a biblical marriage. This is why the apostle Paul warned that a Christian husband and wife must not withhold their bodies from each other for sexual intimacy. Christian spouses are instructed to, "‌come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (I Corinthians 7:5)." According to Jesus, a spouse who divorces his or her spouse and proceeds to marry another person is commiting adultery. Jesus taught, 'Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, commiteth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband and be married to another, she commiteth adultery." (Mark 10:11-12) Likewise Jesus said, "...and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commiteth adultery." (Matthew 5:32) Here "commiteth adultery� was translated from the Greek present tense which refers to present action that is continuing into the future. This means that unbiblical remarriage is the same as living in adultery according to Christ's teachings. Note also Luke 16:18. adultery carries a heavy judgment in the Scriptures. Hebrews 13:4 declares, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Without genuine repentance and change, I Corinthians 6:9-11 reveals that "adulterers" "..shall not inherit the kingdom of God." VIII. God's solution for troubled marriages is not divorce. God's will is Christian reconciliation (Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-17, I Corinthians 7:10-11). Christian reconciliation is never "impossible" for Christian couples. The spouse who says this is really just rationalizing his or her desire to get a divorce in disobedience to the Scriptures. This is the equivalent of proclaiming to the world, "Our God is not powerful enough and wise enough to help us handle our marriage problems." Reconciliation requires both spouses to repent of sins and get their hearts right with God and each other. As Christians, the power of God's love within us is greater than the wrongs and offenses that others have done against us. It is God's love within that empowers us to fully forgive those who have wronged us, to seek reconciliation of past broken relationships and to pursue peace with God and others. Romans 12:21 instructs, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." This means that we must not be overcome by the evil that others have done against us. Rather, we overcome their evil by doing what is good. Also, Christians should always seek a truly biblical, Christian counseling source for marriage counseling. All marriage counsel that rationalizes sin or promotes actions and attitudes which are contrary to Bible counsel should be rejected as ungodly, false counsel (Psalm 1:1-2). This includes man's sin distorted reasonings of psychology and philosophy which contradict the Scriptures. Why? The counsels of God's Word are true and righteous (Psalm 119:24,160, John 17:17). Whereas, the counsels of human wisdom are distorted by sin (I Corinthians 3:19). Make certain that the counsel you are receiving is according to God's counsel as revealed in the Scriptures. Š 2002 (revised 2003) Nolan McFadden copies permitted by author