The Bachelor Party
military set and a wallet. They were supposed to be ready yesterday. . . . Yes, please, would you? . . . (he is searching his pockets while he waits, finds a piece of paper, pulls it out) Yeah, a military set and a wallet. . . . WALTER: Is that what we bought poor Arnold? EDDIE: (on phone) That’s right. The following inscriptions should be on them: (reads from the paper) On the military set: “To Arnold: Best wishes on your marriage from Alice, Charlie, Eddie, Evelyn, Jeanette with two t’s, Kenneth, Lucy, Mary, Olga, Walter, and Flaherty.” Now on the wallet . . . Yeah, what? . . . Yeah, that’s right—Flaherty. Now, on the wallet, the following inscription: “To my Best Friend Arnold from his Best Man Eddie.” . . . No, to my best friend Arnold. . . . That’s right. “From his best man Eddie” . . . Now, can I come in at lunch and pick them up? . . . A young woman comes into the office, goes to Walter’s desk and drops some papers before him.
men, including Eddie and Charlie, let their eyes cautiously watch her as she leaves, her sheath dress tight on her hips. Eddie, who has hung up, now rubs his eyes with two fingers to clear his head and picks up the phone again. EDDIE: (on phone) Mary, give me the Hotel Westmore. Circle 7-0598. CHARLIE: (hands Kennie paper) This isn’t for me—it’s for you. EDDIE: (to the others) Now who owes me on the presents? Charlie, you owe me? CHARLIE: I gave you four bucks yesterday. . . . KENNETH: I owe you, Eddie. I’ll pay you tomorrow, payday. EDDIE: (on phone) Miss Frances Kelley, please. I think it’s room 417. . . . The three heads around him look slowly up from their respective work, naked interest manifest on their faces.
WALTER: What’s this, Jeanette?
EDDIE: (calling to one of the women in the office) Hey, Evelyn, you owe me four bucks.
GIRL: It’s from finance, don’t ask me.
EVELYN: (calling back) All right. I know.
This is the girl in the office who goes to the water cooler three times a morning and all the men covertly watch her. She is cute, but attractive more by comparison to the other women in the office. Nevertheless, all the
EDDIE: (on phone) Hello, Frances, this is Eddie. . . . All right, wait a minute. Give me a chance to explain. . . . I know I woke you up. . . . All right, let me tell you. You know I’m supposed to be the best man at this fellow
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