Dream, Wish Happy and Believe... New Year! By Niamh Hogan
By Aoife Rose O’ Brien n life, as we all know, at times we can bear the weight of the world on our shoulders. Be it financial issues, health issues, or something that just gets you down and you cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. Don`t fear though, you are not alone. We tend to create a barrier while going through a tough time, one where others can see in, but we cannot see out. We believe we are alone. We believe life is unfair for picking us out as individuals, throwing this problem on our path of life, creating a disturbance we did not need to deal with. Also, we negatively single ourselves out to be the only ones that have it so hard. This, my friend, is natural. It`s natural to get caught up in a problem and become so low we don’t know where is up. Sometimes we cannot solve this problem, but what we can do is learn how to deal with it. Reflecting on past life can cause major upset in your life today. What if's can be the toughest of puzzles. But how are you supposed to know what to do? How can you tell how you really feel, and what road are you supposed to take? I for one, wish I knew the answer. We make so many mistakes in our lives, but these mistakes are the steps that lead us to our lives today. Of course we are going to wonder about past relationship, friendships, if we took the right career option. Every time we come to a crossroads in our lives, we have to ask ourselves many questions, to help us determine our most suitable answer. When we are remembering these choices, though, we do not remember the oh so important factors in our lives then, that helped make the primary decision, for example, age, income or marital status. These are things we need to remember while reflecting negatively, disappointed on what may have been. Did we travel to every corner of the world? Did we follow our childhood dream of becoming a fireman or a doctor? Maybe, the answer is no. Maybe, we slowly let everyday life take over our entire life, we focused on the temporary plan rather than our permanent one. Life can be tough when you`re trying to get out of a rut. Losing a job or having an unplanned pregnancy may be very hard to deal with in the beginning. What you must focus on is the main objective, the future you wish to create, because like it or not, you've already begun creating. I believe, you must ask yourself, were the dreams of being a singer or an artist truly heartbreaking, or were they positive thoughts, that made your smile
a little brighter, while you began living the true dream of becoming a mother, or building your home. If you think seriously, and weigh up your options, I`m sure you will come to the perfect conclusion. If you find yourself still feeling as passionate about your dreams as you did when you created them, then I can assure you, you will live your dream as long as it`s what you really want. Create a plan, a step-by-step guide of how you will make your dream become reality. Don`t jump right into the middle, ease yourself from old to new, and enjoy every last moment. This is the crossroads where you need to be bold and brave. As fearful as change is, look at the glass half full, realise what awaits you at the end of the road, and know you will get there. If you find you are daydreaming of what could have been, wondering if you are as happy as you could have been, had you made a different choice, then simply look around you. Are you happy where you are now? Do you love the people in your life today? Is your job fulfilling? You know the answer, somewhere inside, no matter how deep it may be. Realise how you truly feel. Don`t obsess over finances unless you really have to. Don`t concentrate too hard on things you may not have. Instead, focus on your true heart`s desire. If you are in a relationship you cannot see a future in, or living in an area that doesn’t fulfil your needs, then change. Put yourself first, because in the end of the day, you are living your own life, you need to make your own happiness paramount. Getting hurt is a part of life. Sometimes, we don`t understand how or why, but eventually we will realise. Not every friendship is permanent, not every relationship is true love. If people walk out of your life, and you cannot always understand why. Instead of trying to find an answer, how about accepting the fact that life has many chapters. Some are good some are bad, all you can do is practice empathy towards the other person. Focus on the positive things that happened rather than the negative. Learn from what has happened and make any necessary changes. So if you are afraid of hurting somebody so that you can reach for the stars and live the dream, then don`t. If you believe you cannot do both, then you need to choose what is most important to you. Don`t live to regret such a huge aspect of your life. If this is what you want, then you have to do what you need to do. Be bold and be brave.
Unfortunately people get hurt, but if you are true to them, I am sure they will understand. Learn from this, and think hard about decisions in your future, no matter how small they may seem. No matter what your situation, remember to be happy, to be smiling, and to be yourself. Every situation has a beginning and an end. The power is in your hands to make the right choices in life. Live your life according to you, not according to somebody living their own. “Life begins now—right now— not tomorrow or the next day or the next. Every minute of every hour of every day, life begins anew. That means everything can change in an instant. It also means you can have a new beginning whenever you want. Why put off for one day that decision you've been pondering... Aren`t you just putting life itself on hold?” -Neale Donald Walsch
Don`t have shame in failing... Have shame in not attempting. You are strong. You are beautiful. You deserve happiness. Dream your biggest dreams, make your biggest wishes, and believe that one day, however far away, they can come true. Nanna The birdy on your window He just came to say hi, He may not come tomorrowBut it never means goodbye. See, when this birdy sings his songs He is preaching to the world, He is telling all he loves you Even when your hair isn’t curled. This birdy found a home in you He saw your soul within, He sees nothing but good in you And he could never see you sin. He knows how much you care for him And is grateful in every way. He wishes he could repay you, somehow, He prays for this each day. He wishes you could see yourself Through his innocent, sweet little eyes. He wishes you so many laughs And prays for no more cries. He sees an angel when he looks at you A queen in a forgotten time, Most of all, he really wishes You were his queen, instead of mine. -AoifeRose O`Brien
ight I’m going to say it, I’m going to come right out and say it. I. dislike. new. year. There I said it! I have disliked New Year for some years now. When I was younger, it was about going out, getting drunk, hanging out with friends. It was about having a good time on New Year’s Eve. When the doldrums of January set in a few days later, I just went out and had a good time again. When I was young, the future didn’t exist, I could see as far as the weekend and anything beyond I could soon forget once I got to the pub. But I grew up, I grew tired of the pub, tired of constantly being surrounded by people and never having time alone to think. I grew into a woman with ambition, one who likes to make plans, one who likes to work and see the fruits of that work. I also became a woman who could be disappointed when those plans, and the work, didn’t pay off. Family and financial commitments and a mature dislike for being drunk keep me away from the pub. Instead I am left to think about it all. Having time to think is important but dwelling on things is so bad for you. Pondering on your failures is ok if all you are doing is taking the lessons from them so that you can learn and improve things for the future, but pondering just on the failures themselves and beating yourself up over them does nobody any good. It leaves you with a sense of disappointment, disappointment in yourself. This in part is why I dislike New Year. There is a pressure around New Year that just brings out a sense of sheer panic in me. To avoid this panic, I simply ignore. I pretend New Year isn’t happening. Why would I let that unnecessary pressure into my life when I already have such real and more important pressure there all the time? It begins just after Christmas. “What are you doing for New Year?” “Where will you be for midnight?” The questions, the pressure to be doing something extra special, whether it is real or perceived pressure, is just too much, so much so I plan an extra quiet night where I go to bed before midnight and smile in glee as I only realise it’s New Year 10 minutes after. Then it’s New Year’s Day and the “So, any New Year’s resolutions?” questions begin. More pressure. I listen to the resolutions of friends, colleagues, and parents at the school gate and cringe at the thoughts of when they fail. “I’m giving up Chocolate” says one. “But how?” I say, “you are such a great baker, that chocolate cake you make is delicious”. “I’m signing up for a 10 week
Yoga class” says another. “But you told me you think Yoga is boring” I say. “I’m going to do a marathon this year says another”. “But you’ve never run before, why don’t you sign up for a 5km run first?” I say. I hear over and over again unrealistic New Year’s resolutions. They are not unobtainable but people often pick resolutions that are not right for them, like the baker giving up chocolate, the person who thinks Yoga is boring taking up Yoga and the nonrunner signing up for a Marathon. Picking a resolution that you don’t really feel passionate about is a recipe for failure. Often at New Year people make a resolution because they are expected to, they don’t think about what they really want. Often it is about making a change, doing something they don’t normally do or giving up something they enjoy but know or perceive to be bad for them. January can be a difficult month. The excitement of the festive season has worn off, the credit card bill has come in and the reality of what you have spent starts to hit home. The routine has to begin again, getting the children to bed early, getting them up early, making lunches, back to work. The brain has to engage again and work to a strict time schedule so that everything gets done. It is, in reality a busy time and really is the worst time you can think of to make a resolution. We all strive in life for the same thing, happiness. We all want to be happy. This is the best resolution you can make, ‘to be happy’. Obviously, there is no magic spell that makes us happy. We have to work at it and really we need to work at it all the time, not just at New Year. Instead of making unrealistic resolutions at New Year, I suggest, take January to look at what makes you happy. What do you do already that makes you happy? Is there something you really would like to do that makes you happy? Let the main objective be ‘to be happy’. If you have vowed to take up Yoga and the answer to “Will Yoga make me happy?” is “well no, not really”, well then taking up Yoga is not for you. Perhaps another form of exercise or quiet time will. Perhaps an evening walk alone is what will make you happy. Often a more successful resolution can be doing more of something you do already, something you enjoy doing. It can be walking, surfing, playing with the Children. It doesn’t all have to be about losing weight, giving up smoking, running a marathon. If of course you are ready to do any of these things and they are truly what will make you
happy, go for it but make sure you are ready, you are willing to take on the challenge. Avoid taking on something that you won’t stick to, that you aren’t really passionate about, and that doesn’t really make you happy. If you do, you will be disappointed; you may feel like you have failed. Really you have not failed at the challenge; you have failed instead to listen to yourself. You have failed to fulfil your objective of ‘being happy’. When you let your resolution be lead by a clear and positive objective, you are more likely to succeed. The objective to be healthier rather than making a resolution to go to the gym is far more realistic if you hate the gym but love walking and cooking. Walk more and apply your culinary skills to cooking healthier food. Look at ways to reach your objectives and make sure those ways are enjoyable and make you happy. Life is too short for doing things we don’t like doing. We will always have to do things we don’t enjoy but why willingly do more than you have to. So this New Year, ask what are the things that you do already that make you happy. Can you do more of those things? Look at happiness into the future and choose a path that you will enjoy taking and one that doesn’t fill you with dread each time you step upon it. Why make January any more pressure than it needs to be? Listen to yourself, I do and it works. Here I am, writing, it makes me happy, and I plan on doing more of it into the future so you’re stuck with me. Remember the words are “Happy New Year” so do it, BE HAPPY! By Niamh Hogan
086 3183369 www.holos.ie Facebook – Holos health and wellbeing Twitter – @Niamhhogan Niamh is from the South East and is a Natural Health Practitioner and founder of Holos Skincare from Nature, a new Irish natural skincare range launching in January 2014.
about health, beauty and positive lifestyles and likes to write about all kinds of everything. Her motto is “love yourself!