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Weekend WhAt tO DO WIth YOUR tIME AnD MOnEY

POWERED BY

FROM FRIDAY, ApRIl 11, 2014 ISSUE 99

issue

99

We Celebrate with a VISIT TO a Brislington icecream institution FLOWER POWER OF SPRING

INSIDE CARLUCCIO’S COOK BOOK

FROM STARSAILOR TO THE THEKLA

TELL ME IT’S TRUE... BLOOD BROTHERS IS BACK


IDEAS

If you fancy a laugh

Maple leaf

If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

Competition Win a sumptuous Easter Sunday lunch for six at Bristol’s superb Marriott Royal

gags

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Augment your

Reality

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SHOPPING

WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM! Independent of the week Tarr’s ice cream was born by accident in the days before refrigeration and freezers. Four generations later, the award-winning family-run business in Brislington is still going strong. Kate Edser reports.

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side from the colourful rows of ice cream tubs, sweet sauces and toppings, almost the first thing I notice about Tarr’s shop is the enormous silver trophy that sits high up on a shelf. It’s not for keeps, since the winner has to give it back after a year, but it may as well be a permanent fixture here since the business has won it 13 times since 1978. The trophy honours Tarr’s vanilla as the best artisan ice cream in the UK, as voted for by members of the Ice Cream Alliance (ICA), a trade organisation. It’s a fiercely fought award, with around 300 entries each year. But that’s not the only accolade Tarr’s can boast, since the soft “whippy” ice cream has been judged the best in the UK ten times by the ICA since 2000. With a heritage stretching back 94 years, it’s no surprise that this fourth-generation family business

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is known and loved all over the south of England and it now sells to mobile vans, restaurants, pubs, hotels and cafés across the South West, South Wales and as far east as Kent. The current incumbent in charge is Mike Tarr, who described how the business began, from rather humble beginnings. “The business was started in 1920 by my grandfather, Alfred, who learned to make ice cream from an Italian in exchange for English reading and writing lessons. “He would then sell the ice cream from a barrel, insulated with salt and crushed ice, on the back of a horse-drawn cart before it melted. “We moved to the current premises from St Philip’s Marsh in 1946 and I started working in the business part-time at 14 and full-time at 16. “Now, my wife Marilyn, son Bradley, daughter Stacey and my sister Deana all work in the business. My son and daughter are the fourth generation of the

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family to work here and my dad, Colin, still pops in most afternoons. “It makes me feel proud that we are still a family business and that we manufacture all the ice cream and ice lollies on site.” And it’s quite an operation, though from the outside it’s all very unassuming. Tucked away in a mainly residential area in Brislington, not far off the shopping street of Sandy Park Road, Tarr’s combines a shop, factory and cold storage facilities.

The old-fashionable little corner shop is stuffed with rows of tubs and pots of ice cream, plus cornets and a line of sweets in jars. Behind is an office and then the factory, which is small, but stuffed to the edges with the latest equipment, which ensures efficient production. When I visit, Deana is dealing with the morning’s production of mint choc chip, while Marilyn is packing newly made chocolate-covered ice cream lollies into boxes. There’s a background hum, as the


machinery does its thing, and not an inch of space is wasted. The best-selling flavour is still the award-winning vanilla, though Mike concedes his personal favourite is the richer, more calorific “dairy” vanilla. Children, he says, love the bubble gum flavour ice cream, partly because it makes their tongues turn blue! Other flavours include raspberry ripple, strawberry, chocolate, mint, toffee, coffee, cherry, coconut, banana, pineapple, mint choc chip and

rum and raisin. Tarr’s also makes vanilla ice cream suitable for diabetics along with 17 varieties of ice lollies, three different Tarsetto’s (similar to Cornetto’s), plus hiballs, push-ups and sundae tubs. As with all ice cream sellers, Tarr’s business fluctuates with the weather and the couple of unseasonably warm weekends in March rather caught them on the hop. The queues were way out the door and the shop actually ran out of vanilla scoop ice cream!

There’s no chance the family can get away for a holiday during the summer, but they’re not idle during the winter either, which is part of the reason for their success. Mike explains: “Trade drops off dramatically during the winter months, which is when we make ice cream cakes and ice cream logs that are very popular at Christmas. We also sell Christmas pudding ice cream at Christmas. “The not-so-very-secret to our success is that we only use quality ingredients, we have

pride in our products and have invested in modern production equipment. “It would be nice to think that the business will continue in the family through further generations. “I have a 16-month-old granddaughter, who is already the official taster!”

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TUTTI FRUTTI TIME With summer just around the corner, it’s time to indulge in one of the nation’s favourite treats – ice cream!

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Celebrate Easter with Bristol Shopping Quarter Come and see Peppa Pig

Saturday 12th April at intervals between 11.30am – 4.30pm near Marks & Spencer, Broadmead www.peppapig.com © Astley Baker Davies Ltd/Entertainment One UK Ltd 2003.

Easter Display in The Galleries Tuesday 1st – Tuesday 22nd April

Take part in our Easter Camel Hunt

Saturday 5th – Monday 21st April with free craft workshops in John Wesley Chapel on Saturdays 5th, 12th & 19th April

(collect a map from John Wesley Chapel or Specsavers on Merchant St)

For full details visit www.bristolshoppingquarter.co.uk

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THE FUTURE’S SO BRIGHT... It’s time to stop squinting and invest in some super stylish sunglasses.

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HEALTH&FITNESS

FIGHT NIGHT HEROES A few weeks ago we featured three men who signed up for a ten-week training plan with Bristol-based white collar boxing organisation, Zero To Hero. We find out how the trio of first-time boxers fared on ‘fight night’. Tom ‘The Bomb’ Bircham

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om is a 33-year-old warehouse manager from Kingswood, who is on a high after winning his fight. Tom said: “Going into the fight I felt as fit as I possibly could; I’d given absolutely everything in training and being scared of losing or getting hurt was enough to inspire me. “I got to the top of the stairs to make my entrance and the nerves were going, the adrenaline was high and I was just trying to focus. “ I managed to sell 50 tickets to friends and family and I could hear them shouting my name. It was an unbelievable feeling, adding pressure, but also making me more determined to do well. Their support really helped give me confidence and I can’t thank them enough.

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“I knew I needed to focus on attacking as well as defending in order to stand a chance of winning. Having trained hard, I was confident I could win, but I also knew it would be difficult. “ I expected the fight to be hard work and very tiring, yet exciting and it certainly was all three! “The first round was quite even. We’d both thrown quite a few punches, but because we were fresh a lot of them were blocked. The coaches told me that my opponent would again come out swinging and to keep my guard up. They were right and, for the start of the next round, I felt a bit on the back foot. “Half way through I avoided a punch and caught him with a counter punch. He moved back towards the corner so I came forward and just kept punching. “Some of my punches were

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hitting his gloves as he kept his guard up, but the referee stepped in and stopped the fight – and I had won. That feeling I will never forget – I was over the moon! I was absolutely buzzing for days. “I can not think of a single negative point from my Zero To Hero experience. I’ve made new friends, it has made me fitter and changed my mindset. I lost exactly a stone over the ten weeks, too. “I received a fat lip on two occasions and a black eye, but my teeth and nose are where they belong, so that’s good. “Finally, I’d like to thank my fiance, Gemma, for putting up with all my training, early alarm clocks and all the extra washing!”


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GADGETS

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hate it! Switch it back!” So said thousands of Flickr customers, minutes after the photo sharing site switched to a new page design. Flickr users didn’t like what they saw, even though it had been tested on a small subset of users for months. The redesign, officially and officiously called the “New Photo Experience” puts the photo on the left, and the metadata – all the extra stuff associated with it – on the right. Previously, that stuff was both to one side and below. Before, you had to scroll a bit to see it all. Now there’s no scrolling, but a bit more clicking. You win some, you lose some. Looked at a little more dispassionately, the new look is as functional as the design it replaced. When you sit and go through it feature by feature, it’s not as radical (or as bad) as people think. People reacted strongly because it was a sudden and dramatic change.

They felt like they should have been consulted (In fact they were, during those months of testing, but only a few of them). This is one way that the web is different from other media, especially when digital communities form. When online community works, it feels like a real-world community. The people who are part of it feel like it belongs to them. That’s why there’s so

much resentment and upset when big changes happen. It feels like an intrusion. Like someone’s been messing with your stuff, uninvited. Flickr’s community has always been one of its greatest assets. If you’re a long-time Flickr user, my advice is: don’t rush to judge the latest changes. Give them a chance – in time, they might turn out to be better than what came before.

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EASTER CHIC If you’d rather not over-indulge in traditional chocolate Easter eggs, check out this collection of fun, calorie-free alternatives.

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DAYS OUT i€ [{l}l Ulsslu

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ot family coming down for Easter? Want somewhere to take them that won’t cost the Earth? Well, there’s a show on all across the Bristol area at the moment. I’m talking about spring, of course. One of the reasons this season is many people’s favourite is that it’s now that nature bursts into life and shows her true colours – all of them. In and around Bristol are award-winning gardens, flower-decked woodland and private floral displays that are occasionally open to the public. Some of them you’ll have to pay to enter, but many are free to roam around and enjoy. Leigh Woods and Ashton Court can be enjoyed on the same day, as one is a short walk from the other. The National Trust owns and maintains Leigh Woods, the area that straggles from the Clifton Suspension Bridge along the Avon Gorge. In the spring, if you know where to look, you can find yourself walking among a carpet of bluebells and wood anemones. Just across the main road is Ashton Court, which itself is a great green space to enjoy on a sunny day. Next to the mansion

18

house is the rose garden, which although not huge compared to some stately home grounds, has a great array of roses and is a beautiful, peaceful spot in which to sit and relax. Not far away, on the edge of Durdham Down, you’ll find the Bristol University Botanic Garden, which covers 3.2 acres and, as well as a dazzling array of early seasonal flowering plants, you can also walk around the greenhouses, which hold exotic orchids and bromeliads as well as tropical plants used for food or medicine. The Botanic Gardens are home to some unusual species from the Far East, including the Yulan tree from central China, which boasts flowers that look like small, white candles. Bristol Zoo Gardens contains more than just animals (the clue’s in the name). The zoo has 12 acres of gardens combining spring beds with rock gardens and sub-tropical displays as well as centuries-old cedars. There are also smaller gardens that can be found across the city in places you might not have thought of. At Red Lodge Museum on Park Row there’s an Elizabethan-style knot garden, while down next to College Green you find the gardens of Bristol Cathedral.

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The BBC studio on Whiteladies Road has a new rooftop garden which can be seen as part of the BBC Bristol tour, while further afield, Blaise Castle Estate has its own dairy garden, which occupies the site

of the old manor house. Westonbirt Arboretum is often associated with the colours of autumn, but is worth a visit this time of year as well, as it is blessed with cherry trees and many colourful wild flowers –


In and around the city Gardens Wwlu nhykluz pu huk hyv|uk Jypz{vs4 pu hpk vm johyp{plz6

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● ����� �� ������ ������� �� ������������� �� ������� ������ ������������������ ���� ���� ���� ������ ���������� ���� ��� ��������� ������� ����� ������ ���� ������ ��� ��������� ����� ��������� ������ �������� ����� ���� ����� ������� ● ���� � ����������������� ����������� �������� �������� ���� ���� ����� ������� �������� ��������� �����’� ������� ����������� �������� ��������� ���� ��� ��� ������ ��������� �� ���� ���������� ����������� �������� �������� ��������� ��� �������� ����� ��������������� ● ���� ��� ���� �� ��� �� ���� �������� ������� �������� ������� � �������� ����� ��������� ���� ���� ���� ������ ��������� �� ������� ����� ���� ���� ������ ��� �������� ������� ��������� ��� �������� ����� ● ���� �� ��� ������ ��

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Further afield Berkeley Castle Jlyrlsl€ Khz{sl Osv|jlz{lyzopyl4 ~~~6ilyrlsl€5jhz{sl6jvt

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including a sea of bluebells. There’s also a big hitter in the region when it comes to flowers, as the first Royal Horticultural Show of the year is just across the Severn Bridge in Cardiff. Over this weekend, the show

will return to the grounds of Cardiff Castle, where it has been dazzling tens of thousands of visitors since 2005. See www.rhs.org.uk for ticket details and information about what’s on display this year.

������� ������ �� ��������������� ��� ��������� ��� ����� ��� �� ���� ����� ��� ��� �� ������� – ������ ���� �� �������� ������ ��� ������ �� ���������� �� ���� �� ��� ���� ����� �� �� ��� ���� ������ ��� ��� ������ ���� ������ ����� �� � ��� ��������������� �������� ������ ������� �� ������ �� ������ �������� ��� ���� ��� ������ ���� ��� ����� ������������� ��� ��� ����� ���������� ���� ������� ����� ��� �� ������� ����� ��� ��� �������� �� ������ ��� ������ ���� ���� ��� ������

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�’� ��� ������� �������’� ������ �’� ��� ��������� �� ��� �������’� ������ ����� ���� ����� ����� ������ – �������� ����� ��� ���� ��� ��� ����� ���������� �� ��� ���� ������� �� ���� ����� ��� �� �� ���� ���� ������� �������� �������� ��� �’� ������� ����� ��� ����� ��� ���� ������ ����� ���� �� �� ������� �� ���������� – �� ���������� ����� ��� ������ �� ������ ����� �� � ������� ������ ����� ���� ������ �� ����������� �������� ����� ��� ���� �� �������� ������ �������� ����� ����� � ��� � ��� ��� ���� �� ���� ����� ����� ��� ������������ �� ������������ ��� ��������� �� �������� �� ���é ����� ��� ���������� ��� ����� ������������ �� ������ ������ ��� ������� ���� ���� ��� ����� ��� �������� � ��� ���� �� ��������� ������ ������� ���� � ���� �� ���� ���� – ��� ������ ����� �� ������ ��� � ����������� ��� ���� ����� ��������� � ������ ������� � �������������� ���é ����� ��� �������� �� ��� �������� ���é ���� �� ��� �� ���� � ������� �� ������ �� ������� �� ����� ��� ��� ������������ ����� ��� ���������� ������� �� ������ ����� �� �� ���� �� ������ ���� ������ ��� [ljyl{ [l}lu ��������� ��������� �� ������� ���� � ������ �� ������� � ��������� ������ ����� ����� ��� ���� �� ��������� ����� ���� ������������� ����� ������ ����� ������

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Easter Compton Farm Shop

r Easte in treats store!

Just 5min from J17 M5 Cribbs Causeway Ample Free Parking!

Free home delivery on orders over £50

Cook a Turkey or a delicious joint of Beef for the family

• Local ciders on draught • Hog Roast Available for Hire on request • Sundays open for indoor car-boot sale • Locally produced compost and Somerset top soil • Now offering a large range of horse and pet supplies at discounted prices We sell free range duck & hen eggs. Cakes, chutneys, pickles, sauces & preserves. A wide variety of cheese’s & a selection of fresh fruit & vegetables. With fresh produce & local ingredients, friendly staff are all the things you can expect when you visit us. We have an extensive meat counter serving you with a delicious selection of the finest cuts of meat in the region. We now sell local Gloucester Old Spot pork which is reared less than 5 miles from our shop. With a pedigree dating back to 1913 they are the oldest pedigree spotted pigs in the world! They are a slow growing pig which results in the meat being more succulent & tasty than normal pork. We cure, smoke & cook our own products & make our own faggots & scotch eggs. We have small & large hand raised pork pies & local clarks pies, salamis, chitterling & exotic meats like wild boar, kangaroo, ostrich, pheasant, gui-nea fowl, pigeon & duck. We vary our homemade sausage flavours week by week. 8 Varieties at one time on average from plain pork, gluten free, venison, game, pork & cranberry, beef & chilli, beef & stilton, lamb & mint to jamaican curried goat.

We sell the finest quality meat and poultry. We make all of our sausages and burgers with the best quality meats.

New special offers in store each week Shop opening hours:- Mon-Sat 8am-4pm Now open Sundays 9am - 1pm Website:- eastercomptonfarmshop.co.uk Address: Easter Compton Farm Shop, Mainroad, Easter Compton, Bristol BS35 5RE Tel 01454 632529 Fax 01454 633700 6 Day a week delivery service to the catering trade A price list is available on request

So why not pop in & give us a try today! Nyvt Nypkh€4 Iwyps 994 :89<

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Wine of the week Peter Yealands Sauvignon Blanc 2013

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23


EATING IN ‘The Godfather’ raises pasta to new heights

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ver since he set up his first London restaurant in 1975, Antonio Carluccio has been widely regarded as the Godfather of Italian food in this country. Carluccio’s new book – the 18th he has written on Italian cuisine – is his first dedicated to the subject of pasta in 20 years. Pasta’s huge variety of shapes, textures and flavours makes it the perfect choice for every kind of meal, from sophisticated dinner parties to simple family suppers at home. Called simply Antonio Carluccio’s Pasta, the book will teach you everything you need to know about the many different types of pasta and how to cook it, including step-by-step instructions for making it at home. The book features new and classic recipes for soups, main courses, salads and even pasta desserts (the rice pudding-like strawberry pasta cooked in milk with strawberry sauce is a particular highlight). They range from simple and traditional dishes, such as spaghetti olio e peperoncino (spaghetti with garlic, oil and chilli) and classic octopus salad with peas and pasta, to the more unusual sedani con vodka e salmone (large pasta tubes with vodka and smoked salmon sauce). Many of the recipes also include ideas for varying the basic recipe to create different dishes according to taste and seasonal availability. Carluccio’s clear and detailed instructions for making fresh pasta open up a whole new range of possibilities, from making your own basic egg pasta to adding unusual colours and flavours like spinach, squid ink and even chocolate. This recipe makes good use of roasted peppers. Antonio says: “Peppers, when roasted on charcoal, have a fantastic flavour, not of pepper at all. “The combination with anchovy is delicious, and anchovies have been used since Roman times for flavouring many dishes. They have to be fillets in oil for this sauce, which reminds me of bagna cauda, an anchovy mixture we use as a dip in Piedmont. “It is ideal for bucatini, large spaghetti with a hole: the hole, although too small for the sauce to penetrate, somehow makes the pasta lighter, adding another dimension to the dish.”

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TRAVEL

BRAVO FOR SPANISH COSTA World travel Emma Grimshaw travels to the Costa Brava and finds beautiful beaches, amazing food and plenty of places to party

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t 5pm one afternoon I was sitting in a little patisserie in Santa Christina d’Aro when an old man with a walking stick, a cape and rave glasses strolled by; a small emblem of the chaos that was streaming along outside the window in the form of a Brazilian-style carnival. Our guide explained the festival draws out the entire population of the small hamlet’s 7,000 residents to dance beside floats decorated in flamboyant themes from Asian princesses to chickens. Once the parade finished, everyone piled

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into a stadium for a huge party. Unfortunately, we had to get back to our spa hotel, on a traditional Catalan farm nestling between some breathtaking tree-topped spiky mountains. Here, it was easy to feel as though we were the only humans being alive, marvelling at the tranquil life on some kind of rural retreat. But a mere 4km down the road are some of the Costa Brava’s finest beaches packed with tourists – offering a complete contrast to the peaceful isolation. Gastronomy is very important to this area. There are half a dozen Michelin star-rated

restaurants in as many miles and Costa Brava’s main city, Girona, currently has the world’s best restaurant – El Celler de Can. But to secure a table at this family-run venue it’s necessary to book ahead by at least 18 months and be ready to pay around £250 per head. During our stay at the Salles Hotel Mas Tapiolas we were treated to a three-course meal, including goats cheese and seasonal vegetables, sea bream with baby eels, and a coffee cream dessert. It was all seasonal food. Freshness, our host Ariadna tells me, is the key to the Costa Brava’s food success.


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A short drive from the hotel is a coastal paradise called s’Agaro. It is a picturesque little spot, with the blue Mediterranean Sea crashing on the dark rugged cliffs, beautiful white layered houses, bandstands and pineapple-shaped palm trees. There is almost a Greek feel to the architecture here and, with the backdrop of the sea, there’s a lot to feast the eyes on while walking along a winding coastal path, which, incidentally, has been voted one of the best walks in Europe. It is so tranquil that the likes of Robert De Niro, Shakira and Bono apparently like to come here and unwind. Brava – as in Costa Brava – means “bull” or “full of character,” with the area’s name springing from the impressive scenery. Nearby is the ancient fishing village of Tossa de Mar, right at the heart of the Costa Brava. Here, too, there is a striking sight, where the wild waters meet the golden sandy beach and a tall watchtower adds an impressive centrepiece. Here, I indulged in seafood in a little restaurant overlooking the water, a perfect location to sit back and watch the sun set over the sea. The Catalans blend French and Spanish

influences in their cooking, serving up special dishes, which combine the best from both cultures. So, as you can imagine, there was a lot of garlic, olive oil and tasty little dishes. Over the last ten years, the Catalans have also been busy perfecting their wine-making skills, so now most restaurants will serve up local dry white wines. Behind the diner is a series of small churches, little shops and the old Roman ruins of a villa dating back to the first century. This port is packed with historical buildings. Another major attraction is its 1917 lighthouse sitting on top of a winding pebbled walk, which passes a crumbling theatre, a 14th century farmhouse and striking 16th century watchtower. If all this sounds a bit too tranquil and quiet, don’t be put off; the next stop on our tour was the party town of Lloret de Mar. Here, lines of nightclubs and bars offer an endless playground for party-seekers. But away from the main strip of bars is a host of daytime activities, such as Santa Clotilde Gardens. Formally a private garden fit for a king, there are Renaissance statues dotted around the carefully sculpted greenery, but all this was only open to the public for the

first time a few years ago. A trip to the Costa Brava would not be complete without a tour of Salvador Dali’s museum, based in his home town of Figuere. Walking up to this building is an event in itself. The exterior of the museum, designed by the artist himself, is bright pink, with egg-shaped statues on top. Inside are a series of Dali’s sculptures and paintings placed in the exact positions he left them. Also lying here is Dali himself; his grave is part of the building. That night we slept in the Hotel URH in Girona, a stylish place where we found the staff to be very friendly. Girona is a spectacular city. With its many unusual bridges running over the city’s five rivers, parts of it echo Florence, while along the shore are rainbow-coloured houses, with exotic shops dotted throughout. The oldest part of the city has cobbled, spiralling tunnels running between apartments, restaurants and museums, all overlooked by the city’s cathedral, which took more than 400 years to build. Our trip was blessed with perfect weather, with blue skies and temperatures warm enough to do without a coat; a great antidote to the British spring showers. Nyvt Nypkh€4 Iwyps 994 :89<

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Sunshine and skiing all rolled into one break _vysk {yh}ls I johunl pu zlhzvu np}lz Vh{hspl Uhyjohu{ {ol yhyl vwwvy{|up{€ {v jvtipul h zrp huk z|u ovspkh€ pu zv|{olyu [whpu6

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s the slopes of the Sierra Nevada come into view, I have that familiar excited feeling in my stomach that means I’ll soon be on the piste. What’s less familiar is the journey up into the mountains from the southern Spanish coast, driving past arid fields and olive groves before reaching snowy peaks 2,100m above sea level. What makes the Sierra Nevada so special is its proximity to sun-splashed holiday resorts – the Costa del Sol is just a two-hour drive away. And by choosing to take a ski trip late in the season, I’m treating myself to the best of both worlds – a spring beach holiday and a ski break. By combining a stay at the luxurious ski hotel El Lodge and its sister property Marbella Club, I’m able to put on my skis and salopettes long after many other European resorts have closed for the season, and also soak up the first rays of Mediterranean sunshine. The Sierra Nevada ski area is

more impressive than I’d imagined. It looks more like the purpose-built ski resorts of France than the chocolate-box villages of the Austrian Alps, with the highest runs reaching more than 3,000m. With just 20 rooms all decked out in Finnish timber and interiors designed by Andrew Martin, El Lodge retains the intimate feel of a private chalet, while encompassing trendy opulence the better-known Marbella Club is renowned for. My days on the slopes are fun, although I do find myself hankering after El Lodge. Experienced skiers may also expect more information on skiing and snow conditions, but this should improve over time. When I travel down to the coast to the Marbella Club, it soon becomes clear that El Lodge has a lot to live up to. Enjoying a gin and tonic in the Champagne Room, the scene feels very different to the Costa del Sol I remember from my holidays as a teenager. Among the regular faces is Count Rudi, who started working with the hotel in 1956.

He’s something of a legend in these parts and was honoured with a star on Marbella’s Boulevard of Fame in 2012. “We keep up the place for people who like atmosphere,” he says. “It’s disappointing if you’re in the bar and there’s no-one there you know.” Like El Lodge, the food at the MC Grill is outstanding. Even in March, we are able to sit by the pool in the sun while enjoying the extensive lunchtime buffet, which offers everything from paella to lobster and a fantastic salad bar. The hotel’s Thalasso Spa overlooks the sea, so if the temperature drops a little, you can still relax in its dynamic indoor seawater pool, while enjoying views of the Mediterranean. There are also hammams, relaxation rooms and treatments on offer for a more traditional spa experience. After indulging myself with several treatments, I decide it’s time to get a little active again. Muscles now recovered, I head to the nearby Puente Romano hotel’s sports facilities. Here I have the opportunity to

try my hand at Spanish racquet game padel. I can only describe it as like playing a combination of tennis and squash, with a small swingball bat. My friends choose the more conservative option of playing tennis and even golf. The nearby nine-hole resort stretches up the hillside and offers spectacular scenery. Yes, packing a suitcase for this trip was tricky – I never thought I’d be squeezing flip flops and a big down jacket into the same bag – but the satisfaction of rolling two holidays into one is unbeatable.

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James is sailing back towards the stars

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ince having a break from multi-million selling band Starsailor, frontman James Walsh has still challenged himself as a singer and songwriter, working with a diverse range of musicians, including Suzanne Vega, Christina Perri and Melanie C. But now he is back with his debut solo album and a tour, which stops off at Bristol’s Thekla this weekend, and comeback Starsailor shows over the summer. Turning Point is a soulful album of 11 new songs, which showcase Walsh’s maturity as a songwriter and unique vocalist. The solo venture has afforded him the freedom to explore new influences, creating his most personal and diverse album. “Working on the solo album was a great experience,” says Walsh. “It was great to work with different musicians from different musical backgrounds; there was that excitement of a new sound coming together. “I had a clear idea of the sound I wanted to create, but I

30

think there was room for everyone to express themselves. “You have to push each other more to try and create something new.” Turning Point is very much a coming-of-age album full of wonderful examples of Walsh’s ability to weave inspiring melodies around simple chords. “I’ve developed a lot as a songwriter over the years. I’m working with a diverse range of artists, from house DJ Eddie Thoneick to Eliza Doolittle. It’s been really beneficial. “Having all these projects to work towards keeps the creativity going all the time, whereas with a band it’s easy to fall into touring/writing/ recording/off modes.” Turning Point is a personal album and quite reflective. Did Walsh feel any sense of liberation being solo as opposed to being Starsailor frontman? “Yes, there is a sense of freedom for sure. But that’s not to take anything away from the great songs we made as Starsailor, when the combination of our influences and opinions was right. I think there are a few songs on the album I wouldn’t

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have written with the band. Something romantic like Better Part Of Me springs to mind – it’s a sweet, personal song that suits a solo artist much more.” It is 14 years since Walsh emerged from the post-Britpop scene as frontman of Starsailor with debut album Love is Here. For the next five years, Starsailor were one of the biggest new bands around, enjoying sell-out tours, headlining major festivals and scooping industry awards. Starsailor’s second album, Silence is Easy, was recorded in Los Angeles with legendary producer Phil Spector and the title track reached number nine, their highest UK chart placing. Poor sales of third album, All The Plans, in 2007 was a turning point as a disillusioned Walsh announced he was starting work on a solo project. The good news for the band’s legions of loyal fans is that Starsailor are scheduled to play comeback festival shows this summer at Isle of Wight, the V Festival in Essex and Summer In The City in Manchester. Walsh says: “For me, the reception of All The Plans hit me

hard. We left the studio excited that we’d made a great album and it didn’t really sell. “It just felt like it wasn’t our time and we should take a break and let other bands step into the limelight for a while. “I loved the romantic ideal of carrying on Starsailor for the fun of it, but at the end of the day music is my life and career, so I had to think of another direction to keep that going. “We achieved everything we set out to and more, but it’s a shame we didn’t achieve the ongoing success that bands like Coldplay and Snow Patrol have, but that’s in the past now. “It’s almost impossible and quite dangerous to chase that level of success this late in the day. We’ll just enjoy the catch-up gigs and see what happens.” In the meantime, Walsh is playing low-key solo shows, mixing tracks from his new album with Starsailor favourites. “It will be a bit of everything. I will be playing tracks from Turning Point, of course, but also some old Starsailor tracks and maybe the odd cover. I think fans can expect a fun show.” David Marks


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July 11th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 13th Set in the beautiful Mendip Hills Flook, Kan, Bella Hardy Band, The Young â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Uns, Philip Henry and Hannah Martin, Brooks Williams Miranda Sykes & Rex Preston Steve Tilston Trio, 3 Cane Whale, Baraka, New Rope String Band, Maz O Connor R2 Folk Award Winners & lots more... Ceilidhs, Workshops, Dance & Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s festivals, Arts & Crafts Fairs, Beer & Cider Tent, World Foods

Tickets from www.priddyfolk.org Early Bird Tickets Available ŠLW

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n 2011, Welsh-born writer-director Gareth Evans gave Hollywood action movies a swift kick between the legs with his dazzling assault on the senses, The Raid. The film invited Indonesia’s celebrated fight choreographers and stunt performers to create some of the most jaw-dropping skirmishes ever committed to celluloid. The result was a 90-minute orgy of balletic martial arts moves, fractured limbs and blood-letting. This explosive sequel unfolds in the immediate aftermath of the first film. Fans of Evans’s hyperkinetic direction – cameras whirling around the cast at dizzying speed as they perform death-defying acrobatics – will be whooping with glee at the miasma of on-screen destruction and devastation. A protracted fight-sequence,

performed inside a car during a high-speed chase, is extraordinary. However, while the first film hung all of its brilliantly executed stunts on a gossamer-thin narrative, the sequel goes the other way and punctuates its hack and slash with a convoluted tale of corruption that bloats the running time to 150 minutes. When we left rookie cop Rama (Iko Uwais), he had barely survived the ascent of a 15-storey Jakarta tower block and apprehended a traitor. Before he can catch his breath, Rama is interrogated by Bunawar (Cok Simbara), head of an anti-corruption task force, which is dedicated to weeding out bad apples in the force. “There’s no such thing as a clean war in this world,” explains Bunawar before he outlines his master plan: to send Rama deep undercover in prison

40 Weekend From Friday, April 11, 2014

to befriend Uco (Arifin Putra), the son of local kingpin Bangun (Tio Pakusodewu). If Rama can get close to Uco, he can infiltrate Bangun’s criminal network and bring it down from the inside. Thus Rama cuts himself off from his wife and child and adopts a new guise behind bars to impress his target. A fight in the mud-slathered prison yard galvanises the relationship between the cop and heir apparent, and eventually Rama is welcomed into Bangun’s inner sanctum. Meanwhile, power-hungry rival Bejo (Alex Abbad) sets in motion a cunning plan to take control of the city. The Raid 2 bludgeons us into exhausted submission with its action sequences, including some ferocious interludes involving the aptly named Hammer Girl (Julie Estelle) and Baseball Bat Man (Very Tri

Yulisman). You quickly lose count of the number of crushed craniums as Uwais cuts a swathe through crowds of heavily armed henchmen and meets his match in a lethal assassin. The violence and sadism are unrelenting and the body count is astronomical. Regrettably, the twists and turns of the somewhat impenetrable plot are even more dizzying than Evans’s camera work. The writer-director’s ambition is admirable, but his attempts to flesh out this brutal universe induce brain-ache.

Verdict Lp€pun hj{pvu zjlulz ws|z h jvu}vs|{lk wsv{ lx|hs h {v|jo vm iyhpu5hjol6 >798


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he luck of the Irish runs out for one unsuspecting priest in John Michael McDonagh’s wicked black comedy that contrives a murder mystery before the heinous crime has been committed. In a riveting opening sequence worthy of Alfred Hitchcock, Father James Lavelle (Brendan Gleeson) tends to his flock in a close-knit Sligo community riddled with dark secrets. Sitting quietly in the confession booth, the holy man is stunned when an anonymous male parishioner confides: “I was raped by a priest when I was seven years old, every other day for five years.” Father James listens intently as the man calmly reveals that his abuser was never punished and he intends to exact revenge by spilling more blood.

“There’s no point in killing a bad priest,” the confessor continues. “I’m going to kill you because you’re innocent.” Thus, Father James is instructed to put his affairs in order before his date with destiny on the local beach. “Killing a priest on a Sunday – that’ll be a good one,” concludes the parishioner before he leaves. With the clock ticking, the holy man searches for glimmers of hope in the eyes of his wayward flock, including the scheming laird (Dylan Moran), the butcher (Chris O’Dowd) whose adulterous wife (Orla O’Rourke) is engaged in a violent tryst with a garage mechanic (Isaach De Bankole) and his own daughter. Everyone has something to hide, it seems, and McDonagh’s richly detailed script suggests that any of the men in town, including the doctor (Aiden Gillen) and an ailing American

writer (M Emmet Walsh), might be Father James’s intended killer. Indeed, the only suspects the weather-beaten priest is willing to discount are militant Islamists. “I don’t think Sligo is high on the Al-Qaeda agenda,” he quips to one of the locals. Sunday draws closer, forcing Father James to consider all of the wrongs he has committed and their potential repercussions. Building on incendiary themes in his 2011 directorial debut The Guard, McDonagh delivers an accomplished portrait of an insular world marinading in depravity and regret. He populates the wind-swept locations with a memorable band of misfits and degenerates. Gleeson delivers a towering performance as a vessel of God, who may pay the ultimate price for another man’s sins.

He relishes the meaty dialogue and enjoys some fractious exchanges with the locals at the pub where his prime suspects whisper conspiratorially as Dolly Parton trills from the jukebox. The tension cranks up, reaching a crescendo as Father James takes the lonely walk down to the beach to discover his destiny as angry waves crash on to golden sands. We silently plead him to stop, to turn around and flee to safety, but McDonagh has never offered his characters an easy way out. Death comes calling for us all, and here he makes reservations.

Verdict Jylukhu Osllzvu np}lz h wv~lym|s wlymvythujl hz {ol mpst ~ylz{slz ~p{o Ovk4 klh{o huk yl}lunl6 @798

From Friday, April 11, 2014

Weekend 41


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THEATRE \olh{yl i€ Vh{hspl Jhu€hyk

Heartbreaking struggle against cruel twist of fate XQKS WN \PM _MMS Jsvvk Jyv{olyz Uvukh€4 Iwyps 9<4 {v [h{|ykh€4 Iwyps 9A4 Jypz{vs Ppwwvkyvtl6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

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hether you have a passion for musical theatre, or detest all shows with a score, Blood Brothers will thrill, enthral and bring a lump to your throat. Hailed as one of the best musicals of all time, Blood Brothers tells the captivating and moving story of twin boys separated at birth, only to be reunited, by a twist of fate and a mother’s haunting secret. “It’s the musical that’s loved by people who hate musicals,” says writer Willy Russell, who also penned Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine. “It simply relies on that primal, ageless, universal thing of ‘I’m going to tell you a story’. Your ears prick up and you stay with it, and there’s no better experience. “It is a musical with a strong book; it has got a tale to tell. This

44

might indict it as not being a real musical, but if all the electricity fails in the theatre and you can’t light the show or amplify it, you can still do the show with a piano, and even if the piano blows you can still do the show a capella, and it will work.” Blood Brothers, which appears at The Bristol Hippodrome next week, begins with Mrs Johnstone, a young mother who has been deserted by her husband and left to provide for seven hungry children. She takes a job as a housekeeper in order to make ends meet. It is not long before her brittle world crashes around her when she discovers herself to be pregnant yet again – this time with twins. In a moment of weakness and desperation, she enters a secret pact with her employer and gives one child away. Separated at birth, the boys grow up on opposite sides of the tracks, only to meet again in the show’s shattering climax.

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The memorable score includes A Bright New Day, Marilyn Monroe and the emotionally charged hit Tell Me It’s Not True. One of this country’s leading contemporary dramatists, Willy says the moving story came to him like a lightening bolt. “I was walking along one day; I lifted my right foot and by the time I put my foot down I had the story. Sometimes that happens, but very, very, very rarely.” At the heart of the show is the “nature versus nurture” debate, explains Willy. Would the outcome have been any different if the mother had picked the other baby out of the pram? Another important influence in the show’s creation are the lyrics to the Jimi Hendrix song, Hey Joe. “Just think about the lyrics,” says Willy. “‘Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand? I’m goin’ down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messin’ round with another man…’ It’s not only

the lyrics, it’s the fantastic kind of urban violence that’s in that song. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.” This epic tale of Liverpool life ran in London’s West End for 24 years and has been touring the UK since 1995. Hailed as unmissable and unbeatable, the show has triumphed at home and across the globe, scooping up four awards for best musical in London and seven Tony Award nominations on Broadway. The current cast includes Maureen Nolan, who makes a welcome return as Mrs Johnstone. Maureen, who began singing at nine years old and together with her sisters became one of Europe’s first girl bands, has played Mrs Johnstone in Blood Brothers in the West End and on tour to critical acclaim. She was the fourth Nolan sister to play the role, earning them entry in to the Guinness Book of Records.


     





 

   

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LISTINGS ������� ����

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Don’t miss An Audience With Horace Batchelor

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Escorted Holidays 8

6

days from

days from

£749

£399

per person

per person

The Beautiful Amalfi Coast

Carcassonne, Avignon & Provence

Join us for a sun-kissed Italian holiday based in an excellent four-star hotel overlooking the Bay of Salerno, close to the famous Amalfi Drive. Rest and relax, and join some wonderful included and optional excursions.

A guided tour of walled Carcassonne - one of France’s greatest medieval glories - as well as visits to historic Avignon, with its Palais and fabled bridge, and the spectacular Pont du Gard, are amongst highlights of this escorted holiday that also offers a choice of hotels and some exciting optional excursions.

Departing July to October 2014

Departing June to October 2014

Our price includes: • Return flights to Italy from Bristol • Seven nights’ half-board accommodation at the four-star Hotel San Pietro in Maiori • Full day visit to Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast • Full day visit to Paestum and

• • • •

Salerno Airport to hotel transfers Drinks with dinner & free tea and biscuits each day Free use of tennis courts & sunbeds The services of a tour manager

Our price includes: • Return flights to Toulouse or Barcelona direct from Bristol • Five nights’ bed and breakfast at the Ibis Carcassonne Est (a choice of upgrade accommodation is available for a supplement)

• Return airport to hotel transfers • Guided walking tour of Carcassonne • A full day visit to Avignon and the Pont du Gard • The services of a tour manager

4 5

8

or days from

days from

£529

£1,049

per person

Iceland – Reykjavik & the Northern Lights

per person

Washington, New York & Niagara Falls

Departing November, December 2014 and January to March 2015

Departing September and October 2014

Join us in the ‘Land of Fire and Ice’ to discover one of Europe’s most surprising cities, to discover volcanoes, waterfalls, thermal pools, geysers and glaciers, and go in search of the fabled Aurora Borealis!

The plunging Falls at Niagara, the heart of historic America and all the breathtaking mesmerising magic of New York - ‘the City that Never Sleeps’ – combined in one unforgettable holiday!

Our price includes:

Our price includes:

• Return Economy Class flights to Reykjavik from Bristol • Airport-hotel transfers • Three or four nights’ bed & breakfast accommodation in the Guesthouse Borgartún (other hotels available at a supplement)

• Guided tour of Reykjavik • Search for the Northern Lights escorted tour • One suitcase allowance per person • The services of a tour manager

• Return flights from Birmingham • Six nights’ hotel accommodation • Fly to Toronto and travel south to historic Harrisburg • Explore all-powerful Washington, DC, Philadelphia and glittering New York

• Journey through beautiful up-state New York • Gaze in awe at mighty Niagara • Comfortable coach travel • The services of a tour manager

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Air Holidays Ltd. ABTA V7812, ATOL protected 2325. Prices are per person, based on 2 sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

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47


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Don’t miss Manon Lescaut/La traviata

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England in all its magic and mystery XQKS WN \PM _MMS Rlylt€ LlsslyB Munspzo Uhnpj [h{|ykh€4 Iwyps 9:4 {v [|ukh€4 [lw{ltily :94 Jypz{vs U|zl|t huk Iy{ Ohssly€6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

O

ver the past few years, Bristol Museum and Art Gallery has established itself in the first division of the UK’s regional arts venues, with visits from some high-profile touring exhibitions from the National Gallery, British Museum and others. From 2009’s Banksy residency via 2012’s collection of exquisite drawings by Leonardo da Vinci, and on to the recent and hugely acclaimed recent Roman Empire: Power and People (touring from the British Museum) – not to mention the annual visit of the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition – the museum is now on the itinerary for many of the biggest touring art shows. And its first major exhibition of 2014 is a similarly high-profile affair. Commissioned by the British Council for the British Pavilion at last year’s Venice Biennale, English Magic is an eclectic examination of

50

Englishness by contemporary artist Jeremy Deller. It’s now touring just three UK regional venues (thanks to the national fundraising charity The Art Fund) after its acclaimed Venice run – and Bristol is among the chosen destinations. Deller’s magical assembly of large-scale mural paintings, drawings, photographs, film and historical artefacts reflects his interest in the diverse nature of British culture and its people, icons, folklore, history and politics, spanning everything from tax evasion and the Iraq war to Ziggy Stardust. Deller visits and interprets particular events or moments from the past, present and imagined future to create a unique view of England, both celebratory and critical. He also plays with the idea of magic throughout the exhibition, acknowledging both its positive and negative aspects. Trickery and concealment do not go unpunished, as illustrated in a series of large murals painted

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directly on to the gallery walls, which explore issues as diverse as financial accountability and the Royal Family. Elsewhere in the exhibition, visitors are invited to hold ancient hand axes on loan from the Museum of London – and even to make their own prints, designed by Deller, to take away. For the Bristol leg of the tour, meanwhile, English Magic will be displayed across three of the museum’s galleries and will include large-scale mural paintings, drawings, photographs, and film, alongside historical materials and artefacts. The exhibition will also include new installations and commissions made in direct response to the museum’s own collections – including paintings of the Bristol Riots of 1831 by William James Muller, and a display of taxidermy, handpicked by the artist. “We hope that the exhibition will be a talking point – that visitors will come away with plenty of questions about the

themes in the show,” says Vivien Bennett, interim Director of Bristol Museums, Galleries and Archives. “Many of the pieces depict very topical subjects, such as tax evasion and Russian oligarchs – and Deller presents them in a very accessible way, in film and music as well as art.” Hosting the show is something of a coup for the already well-connected museum. “It’s fantastic for Bristol and for the region, as we are the only venue in the South West to host the show,” Vivien enthuses. “This visit builds on the museum’s contemporary art profile, which has already been growing through exhibitions like our Global to Local series of new international art, acquired in partnership with Arnolfini. “We think audiences in Bristol and the region will respond well to the range of unique and thought-provoking work, and we are looking forward to seeing what quirky twists Deller puts on our own collections.”


New Year    Johann Strauss Gala    . Strauss as it should be heard! Experience the elegance and grandeur of Vienna and escape to a world of glittering dance-halls in a concert filled filled with memorable Strauss melodies including Waldmeister Overture Tik-Tak and At the Hunt polkas Emperor and Treasure waltzes plus, of course, the Blue Danube to finish! Günther Bauer-Schenk  Fiona Murphy 

    live.com

RAYMOND GUBBAY presents

Russia’s acclaimed ballet company returns to Bristol with great ballet masterpieces following a sensational season in 2013

Swan Lake The Nutcracker Don Quixote Sleeping Beauty Performed by The Full Company & Orchestra of the Russian National Ballet What the critics say

“Dazzling costumes... Wonderfully choreographed group routines and awe-inspiring solo performances.” Southern Daily Echo 2012

21 – 25 JANUARY ATG TICKETS 0844 871 3012

Book online www.atgtickets.com/bristol Nyvt Nypkh€4 Lljltily :?4 :89;

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LISTINGS ������ ��� ��� �� �� ���� ���� ���� �������� �� ������� ��� �������� ������� �������� �� �� ����� ���� ��� ����� ����������������������� ��� �������� ��������� �� ����� ���� �������������� ��������� ��������� ������ � ���������� ���� �������� ��� ����� ����� ���� ��� ����� ��� ��� ���� �� �� ���� ���� ���� ��� ���������� ��� �������� ���� ��� ������������������ �������������� ���������� ������� �� ��� ������� �� ��� ������� ������ ���’�� ���� � ���������� ����� �� ���������� ������ ��� ����� �� ���� �� ���� ���’� ������� ���������� ���� ������ ����� �������� ����� ������� �� �� ���� ����� ������������ ��� ���������� ����� �������� ������� ��������� ���� ��� ����� ��������������������� ������������� �� ������� ������ ��� ����������� ������ ������� �� �� ���� ������ �������� � ������ ��� ����� ������� ��������������� ����� ������� ����� ������� ����������������������� ������������ ���������� ����������� ���� �� �����’� ������� ������������ ������� – ��������� ��������� ������� ������ �������� ������� ��� ��� ������� ��� ����� ����� ��� ����� ����������� � ������� ������ ���� ����� ��� ��� ���� �� �� ������ ��� ���� ����� ����� ���� �� ��� ������ ��� ���� ���� ��� ���� ����� ��� ������ �� �������� �� �� ���� �������� ���� ���� ������ ���� ������� �������� �������� ������� ��������������� �������� ���� ���� ��� ����� ������������������������� ������� ���� �������� ��� ���� �������� ����������� “��� ���� ������ �� ��������”� �������� �� � �������� ������� ������� ������������ �� ��������� ������������� ��������� �� ���� ��� ����� ���� ��� ��� ����� ���������� ��������’ ������� ������ �������� ���������� ���������� ��� �������� �������� ��� �������� �� ��� �������� ��������� �� ���������� ����� ��������

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Coach Holidays 4

3

days from

days from

£180

£160

per person

per person

Monet’s Garden and Paris

Paris & the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe

Visits to Impressionist painter Claude Monet’s beautiful house and gardens in the Normandy village of Giverny, and to incomparable Paris, are amongst the wonderful highlights of this hugely popular escorted tour, which also offers the opportunity to discover exquisite artists’ village Barbizon.

Experience Europe’s richest horse race this Autumn – the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe at Longchamps in the Bois de Boulogne, Paris. A spectacle that simply has to be seen and experienced!

Our price includes:

• Return coach travel from the local • Coach transfers to and from Longchamps racecourse area • Admission to Longchamps • Return Channel crossings racecourse • Two nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation at a three-star hotel in the Greater Paris area

Departing 13 June, 1 August, 5 September & 10 October 2014

Departing 4 October 2014

admission to Monet’s House and • Return coach travel from the local Gardens area and Channel crossings • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast at the Best Western St Quentin, Maurepas (or similar) • Visit to Giverny including

Our price includes:

4

3

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days from

£195

£150

per person

per person

Summertime in Bruges

Brussels’ Flower Carpet

Discover four of Belgium’s most fascinating cities on this fantastic value summertime break! Famous for its quaint cobbled streets, picturesque canals and fine medieval architecture, we include a full-day to explore the exquisite ‘Chocolate and Lace’ city of Bruges. You’ll also enjoy a visit to stylish Brussels, historic Antwerp and medieval Ghent.

If you’ve never seen the Brussels’ Flower Carpet, you’re in for a treat! Once every two years 800,000 fresh flowers are transformed into a magical tapestry in Brussels Grand Place. A unique and truly amazing sight, which can only be seen for three days!

Our price includes:

viewing area in Brussels’ Grand • Return coach travel from the local Place area • A visit to Bruges • Return Channel crossings • The services of a tour manager • Two nights’ bed and continental breakfast at a Brussels area hotel • Access to the Town Hall’s balcony

Departing 15 August 2014

comfortable hotel in the Brussels • Return coach travel from the local area area • Visits to Antwerp, Ghent, Brussels • Return Channel crossings and Bruges • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation in a

Departing 15 August 2014

Our price includes:

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Promotions Ltd. ABTA V787X. Prices are per person, based on two sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

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53


COMEDY Canada’s latest comic creation

Don’t miss What The Frock! Award 2014

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BOOKS

The Walk Home

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Gritty thriller written in Bristol’s nicest cafés Jvvr vm {ol ~llr ������� ����’� ���� �� ����� ������ �� ��������� �� ��������� ������ £������ ���� ��������� �� ������

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n Detective Inspector Marnie Rome, Bath author Sarah Hilary aims to have created a character akin to Detective Chief Inspector Jane Tennison; she is dependable, fierce, brilliant at her job and a rising star in the ranks. Rome is sent to interview a resident in a women’s shelter with her partner, DS Noah Jake, when they find one of the women’s husbands, lying stabbed on the floor. As Rome and Jake investigate, events begin to spiral and the violence escalates. They know everyone is keeping secrets, but can they get to the truth? But DI Rome has a secret of her own – the brutal murder of her parents, for which her stepbrother has been jailed. This revelation provides a back story which will continue through subsequent books in this series. For her short stories, Sarah

56

has been awarded the Fish Criminally Short Histories Prize in 2008, the Sense Creative Award in 2010 and, most recently, the Cheshire Prize for Literature in 2012. She has had several stories published in anthologies, including the Crime Writers’ Association anthology. Someone Else’s Skin is her first full length novel, which was written mainly in Bristol cafés, since Sarah prefers to work against the “white noise” of life. Among Sarah’s favoured cafés are Spicer & Cole, in Queen Square, where “foodies flock at lunchtime, but if I start at 8am and grab a table at the back, I’m set for the morning”. She also likes Primrose Café on Clifton Arcade, where “upstairs, early morning, at a wonky table in the window, fired up on bubble-and-squeak and freshly squeezed orange juice, I can write until the school run arrives”. Sarah praises Boston Tea

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Party on Park Street “for its cheery baristas, consistently good coffee, amazing Scotch pancakes and plug sockets aplenty”, The Galley on Hotwell Road for the “best scrambled eggs in the city” and the Crepe and Coffee Cabin next to Prince Bridge Street, which she says serves “poem-worthy crepes and terrific coffee”.

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PROPERTY

VALLEY VIEW AT SUNRISE Property of the week Sunrise House, Old London Road, Wotton-under-Edge

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ven if you could find something to dislike about this house, you’d be hard pushed to fault the view. Set on the west-facing Cotswold escarpment, the rooftops of Wotton-under-Edge spread out in the foreground, with woods and farmland beyond. Though just outside the town, it’s still within walking distance of the shops and services – mostly independent traders – together with a sprinkling of pubs and cafés, while junction 14 of the M5 is just a ten-minute drive. Sold with no onward chain, this individual property includes an integral garage and off-road parking on a smart, gravelled drive, while a long balcony running the length of

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the house is well placed to take best advantage of the vista. The house is arranged over three floors, with the garage, boot room and utility room on the lower level. In the middle are two reception rooms, the kitchen, a bathroom and a big conservatory, while all the bedrooms and a second bathroom occupy the top floor. One of the most striking features of the interior is the living space, combining a lounge that’s more than 19ft (6m) long, with windows on both sides, and a dining room with French doors opening to the balcony. These two rooms, both with pale walls and carpets, are connected by a wide square arch, while a further set of French doors to one side of the open fireplace in the lounge opens to the conservatory.

Besides the kitchen, the middle floor also includes a study, which may also work as a fifth bedroom since there’s a bathroom right next door. Upstairs, the master bedroom has use of an en suite bath/shower room, while another bedroom has a fitted wash basin. The second bathroom also includes a shower. The house is positioned to the rear of the plot, with a paved patio around the conservatory and steps that drop down to a lawn, with plenty of mature shrubs and trees for added interest.

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Don’t invest in your new bathroom without seeing us first! Bathrooms 365 Ltd, Units 14 and 15, Walker Way, Thornbury Industrial Estate, Thornbury, Bristol, BS35 3US www.bathrooms365.com | 01454 417111 Nyvt Nypkh€4 Iwyps 994 :89<

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LOUNGING AROUND Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers.

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here is something glorious about a riot of pattern within an interior design scheme and wallpaper is a bold way to achieve it. Not for the fainthearted, a strong repeat with a cacophony of colour will tease the eye and create a dramatic visual impact. It has a shrouding effect as it covers the walls and drapes around corners, sliding round hard edges and softening sound. A quality wallpaper, expertly hung, has a way of cloaking the surfaces and making it feel “dressed” somehow; better looking, smarter, and properly presented. It’s not surprising paper is back on trend and, with so many wonderful ranges to choose from, it’s a great way to change the character of a room. With the whole mid-century craze being the zeitgeist of the day, patterns are being released and regenerated from wallpaper archives. Original Fifties designs are flooding the stores and we are seeing a popular resurgence

in geometric, floral and vintage motifs. Playing with the effect of pattern upon walls means we can stretch the perspective like a painter and make walls seem taller or shorter; we can shrink or expand horizontal widths and completely transform space. Vivienne Westwood – best known for her eponymous fashion designs – has created “Squiggle” wallpaper for Cole & Son, taken from her Pirate A/W 1981 Collection, and it is this, shown in the blue colour-way, above, that we proposed for the Clifton hallway, pictured, belonging to our clients. We selected this scheme to contemporise a very dated (1990s) hallway and to banish the existing yellow tones by using blue and white. The look also needed to tie in with other refurbishments carried out throughout the house. We wanted to take advantage of the high ceilings and period features by framing them within a modern context. In this way, the wonderful cornice, which

was repaired and repainted, became the architectural icing on the cake – a major feature of the space balancing the strength of pattern and lit by the splendid George Nelson “Bubble” pendant we introduced over the stairs (another nod to the trending Fifties). To cover mismatched timber flooring and add to the clean lines of the hallway, we used Farrow & Ball’s floor paint to make the space seamless and to add to the feeling of “wrapping” that wallpaper creates. Paul Goodchild designed the wonderful coat stand/shelving rail so that bike helmets, racquets, coats, shoes, wellies and umbrellas – family clobber in general – could be stored practically and yet feel easy on the eye. Painted in Farrow & Ball’s Pitch Blue, it is contained within the blue and white scheme so that it achieves the feeling that it’s meant to be there, rather than standing out. Roger Oates’ stair runner, from Matt at Design Flooring in Clifton, makes a great stair

carpet and the crisp brown is a pleasing complement to the blue. Marie at Oskar Furniture in Clifton can supply the Bubble light and Duncan Murison did a remarkable job in hanging wallpaper in tricky spaces such as this. If you are planning to create your own patterned walls, I would advise selecting a good quality paper and to remember that the most difficult to put up are metallic or reflective prints. They will show every bump on an uneven wall and need a skilled installer and much prep work. However, don’t be deterred. Vivienne Westwood on a wall, or two is still a wonderful way to “dress” your home. To contact Gill at award-winning architectural design business, Goodchild Interiors, call 0117 927 9475, email gill@ goodchildinteriors.net, or see the new website www.goodchild interiors.net.

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ESCAPE TO THE CONTINENT 6.30pm, BBC2

TV PICKS

BRITAINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GOT TALENT 7.15pm, ITV

Anita Rani heads to the Paphos district of Cyprus to help a couple find a home on a budget of ÂŁ200,000. Away from the property search, Anita offers helpful tips on moving to the Mediterranean country and meets a food producer responsible for one of the islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most famous exports.

Ant and Dec return with a fresh search for the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brightest new star, as a wide variety of acts try to wow the judges.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 Mary Berry Cooks (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Golf: The Masters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2014 Highlights (S,HD). 2.30 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 3.30 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.15 Final Score (S,HD). 5.15 Film: Shrek the Third (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

BBC2

6.00 Film: From This Day Forward (S) (1946). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 7.35 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 10.05 The Living Planet (R,S). 11.00 Fred Dibnahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Industrial Age (R,S). 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.00 James Martin: Home Comforts (S,HD). 12.30 Joan Fontaine: Talking Pictures (S,HD). 1.00 Film: Suspicion (S) (1941). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 Film: Rebecca (S,HD) (1940). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.45 Mountain Gorilla (R,S,HD). 5.45 Flog It! (R,S,HD).

THE GUESS LIST 9.30pm, BBC1

Rob Brydon hosts this game show in which five celebrities, including James Corden, Jennifer Saunders and Louis Smith, help answer all sorts of everyday questions.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Film: Murder, She Wrote: A Story to Die For (S) (2000). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.15 Dinner Date (R,S). 12.15 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.25 Countrywise (R,S). 12.45 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.15 Film: Smokey and the Bandit (S,HD) (1977). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.00 The Chase (R,S,HD). 4.00 ITV News West Country (S). 4.10 ITV News and Weather (S). 4.30 Live FA Cup Football (S,HD). Wigan Athletic v Arsenal (Kick-off 5.07pm).

HOSTAGES 8pm, Channel 4

In the penultimate episode, Duncan discovers Sandrineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s betrayal and decides to use it to his advantage in an attempt to help his family, who have fallen into Blairâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hands. Meanwhile, Ellen has an important discussion with the first lady after the presidentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s presurgery appointment.

Channel 4

6.30 The Grid (S). 7.00 Brighton Marathon (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.50 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11.50 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.45 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). The warrior Lady Sif battles a deadly seductress from Asgard. 1.45 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Ayr and Newbury. 4.10 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Access. 10.05 Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Pay? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Take It Away!: Final Demand (R,S,HD). 11.05 Film: Columbo: The Most Dangerous Match (S) (1973). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.35 Film: Scooby-Doo (S) (2002). Live-action comedy adventure, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.15 Film: The Goonies (S,HD) (1985). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adventure, starring Sean Astin. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.25 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 4.35 Most Shocking Talent Show Moments (R,S).

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8.40 Casualty (S,HD). 33/48. A morbidly obese man is in need of help.

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7.30 Golf: The Masters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Live (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the third round of the opening Major of the year at the Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia, where Adam Scott is the reigning champion. Angel Cabrera and Brandt Snedeker both moved from being two shots off the lead after 36 holes to being tied at the top of the standings heading into the final round, with eventual champion Adam Scott one shot further back on six-under-par. The British contingent failed to make its expected challenge, with only Lee Westwood in the top 10 after round three, tied for ninth and five shots behind the leaders. With commentary by Peter Alliss, Ken Brown, Andrew Cotter and Paul Azinger, and reports by Rishi Persad. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

7.00 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). 5/10. A 1970s-themed edition, featuring Roy Wood. 7.50 The National Lottery: In It to Win It (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Quiz show.

9.30 The Guess List (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

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11

6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 5/20. See Choices Above.

10.10 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.30 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Fulham v Norwich City at Craven Cottage and Sunderland v Everton at the Stadium of Light. Followed by National Lottery Update.

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6.40 Regional News (S,HD).

11.50 The Football League Show (S). Including highlights of Queens Park Rangers v Nottingham Forest.

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Pointless Celebrities, 7pm

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Film: Catch a Fire (S,HD) (2006). Fact-based drama, starring Derek Luke and Tim Robbins. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

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Grand Designs, 7pm

Most Shocking Talent â&#x20AC;Ś 4.35pm

6.25 Channel 4 News (S). 6.55 Lent Diaries (S). 8/16. Behind the scenes at a dedicated Christian TV channel. 7.15 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (S,HD). 1/13. See Choices Above.

7.00 Grand Designs (R,S,HD). 9/11. Kevin McCloud follows a project near Newbury to construct a modern farmhouse.

8.30 Amazing Greys (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Hostages (S,HD). 14/15. See Choices Above.

9.30 Law & Order: UK (R,S,HD). 5/8. Ronnie and Joe investigate the death of an elderly woman found at a well-known suicide spot, and Kate jeopardises her career as she struggles to remain professional during the case.

9.00 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Complicated (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

10.30 The Americans (S,HD). 5/13. Elizabeth disguises herself as Clarkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister to smooth things over with Martha, and Philip works to clean up the mess of their last mission. Stan searches for a missing scientist.

7.15 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Loved Double Acts (S). A countdown celebrating terrific twosomes, cracking couples and dazzling duos from the worlds of TV, film, music, animation and sport, as voted for by Channel 5 viewers in a poll. The programme features partnerships including the Two Ronnies, Morecambe & Wise and Ant and Dec, plus there are contributions by Ronnie Corbett, Zig and Zag, Cannon and Ball, Chas & Dave, David Baddiel, Penn & Teller, Trevor and Simon, Dick and Dom and Andi Peters and Emma Forbes.

10.10 Morecambe & Wise Live! 1973 (R,S). The duoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance at Croydonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fairfield Halls, which was the only one of their stage shows captured on film and has not been aired on television for nearly 30 years.

11.30 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.45 FA Cup Football Highlights (S,HD). Wigan Athletic v Arsenal.

11.15 Epic Movie (S,HD) (2007). Fantasy spoof, starring Kal Penn. â&#x2014;?

11.35 The Plank (S) (1967). Slapstick comedy, starring Eric Sykes and Tommy Cooper. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.30 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). Cilla Black and Holly Willoughby join Dave Berry on the panel. 1.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 In Plain Sight (R,S,HD). Mary protects a priest who witnessed a murder. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.00 Film: Ashes of Time Redux (HD) (1994). Wong Kar-Waiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drama, starring Leslie Cheung. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.35 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). Curbing a familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excessive food expenditure. 5.05 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

12.30 Film: Up the Chastity Belt (S) (1971). Medieval comedy, starring Frankie Howerd. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.05 SuperCasino. 3.35 Running Riot: Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Teen Criminals (R,S,HD). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S).

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THE TOMORROW PEOPLE 8pm, E4

After receiving shocking news, Stephen attempts to restore order in both his worlds by making a deal with Jedikiah, who is close to developing a secret new technology that could change his future. Meanwhile, Cara and Russell face an Ultra trap when they try to track down a new breakout.

Paddy McGuinness and Angela Rippon host a game show in which young contestants take on senior citizens in a variety of challenges for a chance to win £10,000.

ITV2

6.00 Emmerdale 8.40 Coronation Street 11.05 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 1.00 Tom Daley Goes Global 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.35 Film: The Incredible Hulk (2008). Comicbook adventure, starring Edward Norton. ●●● 4.50 Film: Cats & Dogs (S,HD) (2001). Comedy, starring Jeff Goldblum. ●●●

E4

6.00 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 6.45 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 7.40 Charmed (R,S). 8.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 10.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 Made in Chelsea 5.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 WWE Superstars (HD). A round-up of all the latest wrestling news. 1.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S). The wonders of the botanical world. 2.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

AMAZING GREYS 8.30pm, ITV

SHREK THE THIRD 5.15pm, BBC1

The bad-tempered ogre must persuade a rebellious teenager to face up to his responsibilities. Animated sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers.

GOLD

6.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 8.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.40 Yes Minister (S). 10.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.40 Just a Minute. 12.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). Hyacinth tries to buy a country retreat. 1.00 Jeeves and Wooster (S). 3.15 Film: Carry On Spying (1964). Comedy, starring Kenneth Williams. ●●● 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Year One, 6.35pm

Mission: Impossible 2, 9pm

Revolution, 10pm

The Thin Blue Line, 8pm

6.35 Year One (S) (2009). Prehistoric comedy, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera. ●●

6.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. 6.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9/24.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 2/7. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/6. The first episode of the comedy.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 22/22. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10/24. Barney tries to get his parents back together.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22. The family recalls stories about disasters at sea. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/6. Del discovers a statue of a Hindu god.

8.30 Britain’s Got More Talent (S). New series. Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 14/22. See Choices Above.

8.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2/10. Host James Corden is joined by Frank Lampard and TV presenter Gabby Logan on the sportbased comedy quiz show.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 1/7. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/8. The villagers of Dibley discover their new vicar is a woman.

9.35 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Comical clips, narrated by Harry Hill.

9.00 Mission: Impossible 2 (S,HD) (2000). A secret agent battles a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind intent on stealing a deadly manmade virus. John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise and Dougray Scott. ●●●

9.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). 17/23. The Huntress blazes back into town when her father is arrested, triggering a chain of events that forces the Canary to fly into action.

9.20 Miranda (S). 1/6. A shopping expedition ends in disaster.

10.00 Revolution (S,HD). 16/20. The Patriots are back in Willoughby, where they stumble upon the enemy’s new re-education centre, while Rachel and Miles argue over their fight for the greater good.

10.05 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 5/10. With guests Katie Hopkins and Chris Ramsey. 10.50 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 4/8. Hedonism and drunken fun in the Greek resort of Malia.

11.15 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 1/13. Ant and Dec return with a fresh search for the nation’s brightest new star.

11.25 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 A League of Their (R,S,HD). 19/24. Own: Unseen (R,S,HD). Out-takes, gaffes and 11.55 The Big Bang Theory unseen footage. (R,S,HD). 20/24. Amy and Sheldon start a gossip experiment.

12.30 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S). Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition. 1.30 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 2.10 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.55 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.25 Rude Tube: Epic Fails (R,S). 1.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.00 Youngers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Youngers (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.15 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). Marc and Betty fight for the same job.

12.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington goes on a world tour, beginning with a visit to China. 1.00 Cop Squad (R,S,HD). The work of police officers in Cambridgeshire. 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD). 5.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD).

IT’S COMPLICATED 9pm, Channel 4

A divorced couple are reunited at their son’s college graduation after 10 years apart, and begin a secret affair. Romantic comedy, with Meryl Streep.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 6.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 7.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). Queens Park Rangers v Nottingham Forest. 2.30 Soccer Saturday (HD). 5.00 Live Championship Rugby Union (HD). Moseley v Bristol.

FL72 Live, 12pm

7.00 Scottish Cup Football (HD). Rangers v Dundee United. Action from the opening semi-final at Ibrox.

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear India Special (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May embark on a trade mission to India. 8.30 Toy Story (S,HD) (1995). Pixar animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. ●●●●● 9.45 Sweat the Small Stuff Return of the panel show, hosted by Nick Grimshaw. (R,S,HD). 10.15 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra (R,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S,HD).

12.10 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.55 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 1.15 Sweat the Small Stuff 8.00 SNF – Game of the Day (R,S,HD).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the day’s top Premier League match.

10.00 Bottom (S). 6/6. Richie celebrates his birthday. 10.40 The Young Ones (S). 5/6. The students hold a party.

10.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents extended highlights from the Premier League, allowing viewers to access the latest round of top-flight fixtures, including Fulham v Norwich City.

11.30 The League of Gentlemen (S). 5/6. Mike and Cheryl’s wedding day arrives.

11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Queens Park Rangers v Nottingham Forest.

12.10 Extras (S). Guest starring Daniel Radcliffe. 12.50 Extras (S). Guest starring Chris Martin and Ronnie Corbett. 1.25 Bottom (S). Richie celebrates his birthday. 1.55 The Young Ones (S). The students hold a party. 2.30 The League of Gentlemen (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). 1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 2.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 4.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Wild Wales (R). 8.00 Chemistry – A Volatile History (R). How 19th-century chemists imposed an order on the elements. 9.00 Inspector De Luca. Assigned to the Vice Squad, De Luca returns to Bologna, where a man is found hanged in a brothel ahead of the newly formed Italian Republic’s first elections. Last in the series. 10.40 Icebound: The Greatest Dog Story Ever Told (R,HD). 11.40 Natural World: Grizzlies of Alaska (R,HD). A grizzly bear prepares her two cubs to survive winter. 12.40 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 1.15 Sounds of the 70s 2 New Wave – Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick (R). 1.45 Chemistry – A Volatile History (R).

SATURDAY April 12

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67


DIRTY WEEKENDERS IN FRANCE WITH RICHARD E GRANT 8pm, Channel 4

TV PICKS

THE OLIVIER AWARDS 2014 10.15pm, ITV

Highlights of today’s star-studded ceremony honouring the best in British theatre, which was presented by Gemma Arterton and Stephen Mangan.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.05 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 8.30 Athletics: London Marathon (S,HD). Live coverage of the 34th staging of the annual event. 2.30 Sunday Politics (S). Presented by Andrew Neil. 3.45 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). From Oswestry, Shropshire. 4.30 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 5.00 Songs of Praise (S,HD). Pam Rhodes introduces a selection of hymns from Bradford Cathedral. 5.35 The People’s Portrait (S,HD). See Choices Above.

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

The self-confessed curio hunter takes a trip to France to explore the world of professional antique hunters and dealers who seek out hidden treasures at flea markets and shops all over the country, hoping to find items that will sell in the UK.

BBC2

6.25 Film: The Westerner (S,HD) (1940). ●●●● 8.00 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 9.00 Gardeners’ World (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Beechgrove Garden (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts (R,S,HD). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.05 Film: Gypsy (S,HD) (1962). ●●●● 3.25 Coast (R,S). 3.30 Great Barrier Reef (R,S). 4.30 Flog It! (S). 5.30 Athletics: London Marathon – Highlights (S,HD).

THE PEOPLE’S PORTRAIT 5.35pm, BBC1

Fiona Bruce follows Falklands veteran Simon Weston over three months as painter Nicky Philipps captures his image for inclusion in the National Portrait Gallery, London.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film: Columbo: Murder, Smoke and Shadows (S) (1989). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●● 12.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.00 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). 1.45 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 2.40 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 3.55 Film: Octopussy (S,HD) (1983). James Bond spy adventure, starring Roger Moore. ●●

SPIDER-MAN 3 6.30pm, Channel 5

A sinister alien parasite brings out the webslinging hero’s darker side, filling him with thoughts of revenge on his uncle’s murderer, the shape-shifting Sandman. Meanwhile, he also has to contend with the challenge of his best friend following in his father’s villainous footsteps. Superhero sequel, with Tobey Maguire.

Channel 4

7.05 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.25 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.05 The Simpsons (R,S). 2.35 Film: Stormbreaker (S) (2006). ●●● 4.25 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.25 Channel 4 News (S). 5.45 Lent Diaries (S). 5.50 Film: Marley and Me (S,HD) (2008). Comedy drama, starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. ●●●

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power Rangers Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.25 Power Rangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.00 Film: Alpha and Omega (S,HD) (2010). ●● 12.40 Film: Winnie the Pooh (S,HD) (2011). ●●●● 1.50 Film: Surf’s Up (S) (2007). ●●● 3.25 Film: Chicken Little (S,HD) (2005). Premiere. Disney animated adventure. ●●● 4.55 Film: Oliver & Company (S,HD) (1988). Premiere. Animated adventure, with the voice of Joey Lawrence. ●●●

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7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Matt Baker explores the history of shrimping in Southport. Including Weather for the Week Ahead. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 17/26. Items at the Royal Agricultural University near Cirencester include a mantrap used to stop an amorous lover eloping and a teapot thought to have been handled by Lord Nelson.

after

6.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Catchphrase (S,HD). 5/12. Guessing game, hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

9.00 The Crimson Field (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

11

Catchphrase, 6.45pm

6.30 Golf: The Masters – Live (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the fourth and final day from the Augusta National in Georgia, where the year’s first Major is set to reach a conclusion. Before last year’s tournament, Australian golfers had finished in second place a total of nine times, but both Jason Day and Adam Scott were among the leaders for much of the week, and Scott eventually ended his country’s agonising record by beating Angel Cabrera on the second hole of a play-off. Tiger Woods sporadically threatened to challenge, but could not find the consistency to end his drought in Majors that dates back to 2008, while Thorbjorn Olesen of Denmark found himself in the unlikely position of leading European in a tie for fifth, with Lee Westwood the highest-placed British golfer in a share of eighth. With commentary by Peter Alliss, Ken Brown, Andrew Cotter and Paul Azinger, and reports by Rishi Persad. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Liverpool v Manchester City and Swansea City v Chelsea. Highlights of the Premier League matches at Anfield and the Liberty Stadium respectively.

10

Golf: The Masters – Live, 6.30pm

6.35 Regional News (S,HD).

11.25 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). 2/13. With Amazing Spider-Man 2 stars Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and Jamie Foxx.

6 7 8 9

Match of the Day 2, 10.25pm

12.10 Film: Outrageous Fortune (S) (1987). Comedy, starring Bette Midler and Shelley Long. ●●● 1.45 Weatherview (S). 1.50 BBC News (S,HD).

Deal or No Deal, 4.25pm

Spider-Man 3, 6.30pm 6.25 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 6.30 Spider-Man 3 (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●

7.30 Off Their Rockers (S,HD). 2/7. A pensioner attempts a daredevil escape from a care home.

8.00 Endeavour (S,HD). 3/4. Morse hunts a multiple murderer who is strangling married women across Oxford, but as the suspect list narrows, he and Thursday find their private lives turned upside down.

8.00 Dirty Weekenders in France with Richard E Grant (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 The Three Musketeers (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. A hot-headed swordsman and a trio of royal guards fight to foil a plan to overthrow the king of France. Swashbuckling adventure, with Logan Lerman and Milla Jovovich. ●●●

9.00 Grown Ups (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●●

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 The Olivier Awards 2014 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

12.00 Film: Phantoms (S) (1998). Horror, starring Peter O’Toole. ●● 1.30 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). Tom Heap meets Princess Anne at her home, Gatcombe Park in Gloucestershire. 2.25 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Dominic offends best friend Zosia. 3.25 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

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12.00 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Action from the latest fixtures. 12.50 The Store. Home shopping. 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 4.05 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

11.15 No Country for Old Men (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

11.10 The Goonies (S,HD) (1985). Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin. ●●●●

1.30 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Hotel (R,S,HD). The inspector returns as the staff prepare for Ladies’ Night. 3.15 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). A family home for a creative couple. 4.10 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). Financial tips for students. 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

1.15 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 2.05 SuperCasino. 3.35 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).


Kitty nurses a badly injured major who wakes to discover his troops have been all-but wiped out, while Joan clashes with Sister Margaret over the volunteers’ responsibilities. Oona Chaplin and Hermione Norris star.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 The Hot Desk – Example (R,S,HD). 6.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.40 Coronation Street (S,HD). 12.10 The Hot Desk – The Vamps (S,HD). 12.25 Film: Dennis (S,HD) (1993). ●●● 2.15 Film: Nancy Drew (S) (2007). ●● 4.25 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 5.40 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S).

HAWAII FIVE-0 9pm, Sky1

Emotional wounds are reopened for Chin when Internal Affairs reveals the identity of the man who killed his father 15 years earlier. To add to his woes, the detective knows the culprit – Gabriel, the head of a drug cartel and brother of his late wife Malia – prompting him to set out for revenge.

E4

6.45 Charmed (R,S). 7.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.55 Youngers (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.30 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 1.35 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD).

Sky1

9.00 The Empire Movie Awards 2014 (R,HD). 9.30 Noah Special. 10.00 WWE Superstars (R,HD). 11.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 12.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). 2.00 Futurama (R,S). 3.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

THE CRIMSON FIELD 9pm, BBC1

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN 11.15pm, Channel 4

GROWN UPS 9pm, Channel 5

Premiere. Five friends attend the funeral of their basketball coach, and decide to relive their childhood at a lake house. Comedy, with Adam Sandler.

A hunter takes the money left at the scene of a botched drug deal, but a merciless hitman is on his trail. Thriller, starring Josh Brolin.

GOLD

8.10 Just a Minute. 8.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.50 Yes Minister (S). 10.30 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.10 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 11.50 Film: Carry On Spying (1964). ●●● 1.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 6.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 8.00 Game Changers (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Liverpool v Manchester City (Kickoff 1.37pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Swansea City v Chelsea (Kick-off 4.07pm).

Knocked Up, 9pm

The Simpsons Movie, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

Miranda, 9.20pm

Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm

6.45 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 17/18. A fishy workout and a flying dog.

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 13/22. 6.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/22. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 3/7. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4/6. One of Del’s old flames turns up.

6.55 Live Spanish Football (HD). Getafe v Atletico Madrid.

7.15 Johnny English (S,HD) (2003). A bumbling British secret agent tries to unmask a mysterious villain responsible for stealing the Crown Jewels. Comedy, with Rowan Atkinson, John Malkovich and Natalie Imbruglia. Including FIY Daily. ●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24. Leonard accompanies Amy to her colleague’s wedding. 7.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. 7.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10/24. Jay takes Manny to chop down a Christmas tree.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5/6. Del enters the tourist trade.

8.00 The Simpsons Movie (S,HD) (2007). Springfield faces destruction after pollution caused by Homer provokes the wrath of the US government. Animated comedy, with the voices of Dan Castellaneta and Nancy Cartwright. ●●●●

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 11/24. Phil tries to share his love of dancing with unenthusiastic son Luke. 8.30 About a Boy (R,S,HD). 2/13. Will agrees to babysit Marcus.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 2/7. Constable Goody becomes jealous. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2/8. The Songs of Praise crew visits the village.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). 13/24. See Choices Above.

9.20 Miranda (S). 2/6. The singleton tries to learn French.

9.00 Knocked Up (S,HD) (2007). An ambitious journalist unexpectedly becomes pregnant after a one-night stand with a directionless layabout. Romantic comedy, starring Seth Rogen. Including FIY Daily. ●●●●

8.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Espanyol v Rayo Vallecano (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the La Liga match at the Estadi Cornella-El Prat.

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel (R,S). Presented by Robert Webb. 8.00 Toy Story 2 (S,HD) (1999). Animated sequel, with the voice of Tom Hanks. ●●●●● 9.30 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). With Rhod Gilbert and John Bishop. 10.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Extended Star Wars-themed episode. 10.45 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). Return of the panel show, hosted by Nick Grimshaw. 11.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 1.00 Porn – What’s the Harm? (R,S,HD). 2.00 Killer Magic (R,S,HD). 2.30 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 3.00 In the Flesh (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Danny Boy: The Ballad That Bewitched the World (R,HD). The enduring appeal of the song. 8.00 Ultimate Irish Music at the Royal Albert Hall: A Presidential Celebration (HD). Highlights of the evening of music, spoken word and dance. 9.00 Voyages of Discovery (R). Paul Rose examines historic expeditions. 10.00 The Sky at Night (HD). 10.30 Definitely Dusty (R). 11.30 Danny Boy: The Ballad That Bewitched the World (R,HD). 12.30 Arena: Amy Winehouse – The Day She Came to Dingle (R,HD). 1.30 Britpop at the BBC (R,HD). 2.30 Voyages of Discovery (R). 3.30 The Sky at Night (R,HD).

SUNDAY

10.00 Extras (S). 3/6. Guest 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Rude Tube: Epic Fails starring Daniel Radcliffe. (HD). 12/24. The team Liverpool v Manchester (R,S). 1/6. Alex Zane investigates a mysterious 10.40 Extras (S). 4/6. Guest City and Swansea City v counts down the top 50 attack on a senator’s Chelsea. Highlights of video clips where things starring Chris Martin and daughter, while Kensi the Premier League fail to go to plan, Ronnie Corbett. and Deeks are presented matches at Anfield and featuring a festival-goer with the perfect the Liberty Stadium who mistakes a urinal Christmas gifts from respectively. for a sink. their colleagues. 11.35 Paranormal Activity (S,HD) (2007). Horror, starring Katie Featherston. ●●●●

11.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 19/22. Barney finds a date for Ted. 11.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/22.

11.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2/11. With Jimmy Carr, John Bishop, Peter Crouch and Louise Hazel.

11.20 Nighty Night (S). 5/6. 11.30 Scottish Cup Football Cath finally stands up to (HD). St Johnstone v Jill. Aberdeen.

1.30 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy is asked to speak at Regina’s sentencing trial. 1.55 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy clashes with Luke’s conservative parents. 2.20 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Nadia recalls her search for her mother. 3.00 Teleshopping. Home shopping.

12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.00 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.25 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.50 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.10 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.00 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). Karl and Warwick land roles in a Bollywood movie and clown around at the circus. 1.00 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). 2.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

12.00 Getting On. A graduate nurse drives a wedge between Den and Kim. 12.40 Shooting Stars (S). 1.15 Nighty Night (S). 1.45 Getting On. 2.15 Shooting Stars (S). With guests Kimberly Wyatt, Trisha Goddard, David Gest and Ben Miller. 3.00 Close

April

13

12.30 Spanish Football (HD). Getafe v Atletico Madrid. 1.30 Football Special (HD). Liverpool v Manchester City and Swansea City v Chelsea. 3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00 Scottish Cup Football (HD). 5.00 Football Gold (S). 5.15 Football Gold (S). 5.30 Football Gold (S). 5.45 Football Gold (S).

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69


TV PICKS

THE TREASURE HUNTERS 9pm, BBC1

UNDENIABLE 9pm, ITV

The second programme focuses on man-made treasures. Dallas Campbell visits a shipwreck full of emeralds and sees the Terracotta Army.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Conclusion. In spite of Andrew’s DNA test results establishing his innocence, Jane remains convinced she is right and her determination to prove his guilt becomes increasingly irrational and obsessive. Her life unravelling, and it seems all hope is lost when her ally, Detective Ali Hall, is relieved of the investigation.

BBC2

6.15 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.15 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 8.00 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 8.30 Sign Zone(R,S). 10.30 Film: A Man for All Seasons (S,HD) (1966). See Choices Above. ●●●●● 12.25 Film: Bye Bye Birdie (S,HD) (1963). Musical, starring Dick Van Dyke. ●●●● 2.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 3.15 Planet Earth (R,S,HD). 4.15 Coast (R,S,HD). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

THE MICHAEL MCINTYRE CHAT SHOW 10.35pm, BBC1

The comedian meets twinkle-toed veteran entertainer Bruce Forsyth, actor, writer and TV host James Corden and multimedia artist Tracey Emin.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Celebrity interviews and topical studio discussion. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD).

SHOP SECRETS: TRICKS OF THE TRADE 8.30pm, Channel 4

Last year £1.5billion was spent on organic food in the UK, but with food fraud on the rise, are people buying the real thing? Superseller Jazzy Jim takes a pitch on London’s Portobello Market to show how easy it is to pass off economy vegetables as 100 per cent organic.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Mystery Woman (S,HD) (2003). Whodunit, starring Kellie Martin. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Josh considers dropping out of school.

Great British Menu, 7.30pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

8 Out of 10 Cats, 10pm

The Gadget Show, 7pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 125/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 6/20. A couple moving to Germany’s Mosel Valley.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/25. With the guest voice of Kirk Douglas. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A guiltridden Ste is arrested.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). A familiar face returns to the Bay. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Bang Goes the Theory (S,HD). The team investigates flooding. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 6/45. Chefs from the North West region compete.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Declan is tense about the launch, as Charity has gone Awol. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tina tries to tempt Peter back to her flat.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 Lent Diaries (S). 10/16. The son of a pastor and bishop has a busy Sunday at church.

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). Jason Bradbury and Rachel Riley check out curved televisions, and Jon Bentley tests steam mops. Followed by 5 News Update.

6 7 8 9

Bang Goes the Theory, 7.30pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian manages to upset his entire family. 8.30 Who’s Paying Your Doctor? – Panorama (S,HD). Drug company tactics to influence the medicines prescribed by doctors.

8.00 Restaurant Wars: The Battle for Manchester (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

8.00 I Never Knew That About Britain (S,HD). 7/8. An aviation pioneer and the origins of America’s name. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Kevin tells Maddie and Sophie they can move in with him.

8.00 Are You Addicted to Your Doctor?: Channel 4 Dispatches (S). Tazeen Ahmad investigates unnecessary use of the NHS. 8.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (S,HD). 5/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Classic Car Rescue (S,HD). New series. Bernie Fineman and Mario Pacione return to seek out more classic cars in need of restoration, beginning with a Porsche 928 that has suffered from years of water damage. Followed by 5 News at 9.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 The Treasure Hunters (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 Real Storage Wars: Business Boomers (S,HD). 2/4. Sandi Toksvig narrates an exploration of why Britain came to have the biggest self-storage industry in Europe, when just three decades ago it barely existed in this country.

9.00 Undeniable (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 One Born Every Minute (S). 8/8. A nervous father-to-be hopes for a quick delivery, while a couple who rekindled their relationship after 10 years apart prepare for their child’s birth. Last in the series.

9.00 Britain’s Crime Capitals (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

11

10.00 Rev (S,HD). 4/6. Adam has a dilemma over a candidate for the position of church treasurer. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 The Agenda (S,HD). 10/10. Tom Bradby and guests look to the week ahead. Last in the series.

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats (S). 9/9. With Henning Wehn, Rob Beckett and Kate Humble. Last in the series. 10.50 Gogglebox (R,S). 6/12. Capturing viewers’ instant reactions and lively discussions on what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas.

10.00 Pickpockets & Proud (R,S,HD). Documentary about petty thieves making a living by picking pockets and snatching valuables in the street, with one man claiming to have stolen goods worth £100,000 in just one year.

10

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 10.35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

11.25 Regional Programme (S). 11.55 Regional Programme (R,S,HD).

11.20 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter (R,S,HD). 1/3. The businessman helps struggling firms, beginning with a furniture-maker in Hereford.

11.05 Women Behind Bars with Trevor McDonald (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. Life inside two of Indiana’s most dangerous women’s prisons.

11.50 New Worlds (R,S,HD). 2/4. Ned is dispatched to England by his father, Abe attempts to assassinate the king and Judge Jeffreys puts pressure on Will Blood to produce evidence against Angelica.

11.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!: Final Demand (R,S,HD). 5/5. Including updates on stories featured in the series. Last in the series.

12.40 Weatherview (S). 12.45 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: A Very British Renaissance (R,S). Codes and hidden messages in Elizabethan poetry, artworks and buildings. 1.20 Sign Zone: The Culture Show: Tony Parsons – The Art of Boxing (R,S). Leading cultural figures who were boxing enthusiasts. 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly (S,HD). A look back at the quarter-final second-leg matches. 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

1.00 Random Acts (S). 1.05 Hostages (R,S,HD). Duncan discovers Sandrine’s betrayal. 2.00 Scandal (S,HD). 2.50 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). The team helps a family move to Southgate, north London. 3.45 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 4.40 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 4.55 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 Running Riot: Britain’s Teen Criminals (R,S,HD). 12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Raoul Moat: Northumbria Rampage (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

after

12

70

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Documentary following chefs Simon Rogan and Aiden Byrne as they both try to open fine-dining restaurants just a few hundred yards from each other.

Nick Wallis examines the places in the UK hit hardest by burglaries, criminal damage, antisocial behaviour, violent street attacks and murders. He begins by focusing on gun crime in Liverpool, following officers from Merseyside Policeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Matrix team in their daily battle to tackle the effects of firearms on the streets.

E4

ITV2 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

Sky1

7.10 90210 (R,S,HD). 8.00 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

BRITAINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CRIME CAPITALS 9pm, Channel 5

RESTAURANT WARS: THE BATTLE FOR MANCHESTER 8pm, BBC2

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS 10.30am, BBC2

Four couples sign up for relationship therapy on a tropical island. Comedy, starring Vince Vaughn, Malin Akerman, Kristen Bell and Jon Favreau.

Henry VIIIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan to divorce his wife leads to a clash with the Catholic Church. Historical drama, with Paul Scofield and Robert Shaw.

GOLD

6.00 Dog Patrol (R,S). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 10.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). A behind-the-scenes look at two British Airways aeroplanes. 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

COUPLES RETREAT 10pm, ITV2

Sky Sports 1

7.20 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff. 8.45 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.40 Yes Minister (S). 10.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.00 Just a Minute. 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 5.55 Keeping Up Appearances (S).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.30 Spanish Football (HD). 11.30 Scottish Cup Football (HD). 1.30 Football Special (HD). Liverpool v Manchester City and Swansea City v Chelsea. 3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (S,HD). 4.30 Game Changers (HD). 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD).

Mom, 9.30pm

Revenge, 9pm

Modern Family, 8.30pm

Only Fools and Horses, 6.35pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 20/30. Londoner Veronica looks for love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/24. Sheldonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother comes to visit.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 24/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/22. Otto breaks up with his new bride.

6.35 Only Fools and Horses (S). 6/6. The Trotters prepare for war.

6.30 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). A man fails to jump over a bonfire. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring sports day disasters.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4/20. Ted and Barney compete for the same womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s affections.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22. Homer gets a new assistant. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5/22. Marge, Bart and Lisa taste success.

7.15 Only Fools and Horses (S). Del and Rodney have a festive night out.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 11/24. Alan is given a makeover. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12/24. Charlie asks Rose to pose as his girlfriend.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 13/22. Peralta and Santiagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ongoing bet comes to an embarrassing conclusion. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 10/24.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5/22. Marge buys a tandem. 8.30 Modern Family (S,HD). 12/24. Gloria settles a score with another mum during a school visit.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3/7. PC Habib finds herself in demand. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3/8. Featuring a guest appearance by Kylie Minogue.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Reading v Leicester City (Kick-off 8.07pm). Coverage of the Championship fixture at the Madejski Stadium, which should have a key bearing on the race for the play-offs. The Foxes are celebrating their promotion to the Premier League following an outstanding season, while the Royals are one of several clubs with aspirations of securing a play-off place.

9.00 Mom (S,HD). 18/22. Christy and Bonnie throw Violet a baby shower. 9.30 Mom (R,S,HD). 8/22. Christy becomes nervous about her romantic getaway with Adam.

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 15/22. Emilyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blackouts grow increasingly violent, and her only hope of curing them seems to lie with a person she has betrayed in the past.

9.00 Modern Family (S,HD). 13/24. Jay is troubled by a revelation from best pal Shorty. 9.30 About a Boy (S,HD). 3/13. Will is asked to be godfather to Andy and Laurieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s son.

9.20 Miranda (S). 3/6. Penny urges Miranda to improve her career prospects.

BBC3

7.00 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). Ellie Taylor visits Nottingham. 7.30 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). 8.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). Adam is given a final warning. 9.00 Can Criminals Say Sorry? (S,HD). The effectiveness of restorative justice. 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Can Criminals Say Sorry? (R,S,HD). 1.30 Banged Up & Left to Fail? (R,S,HD). 2.25 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.55 Can Criminals Say Sorry? (R,S).

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.30 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 10.00 Star-Crossed (R,S,HD). 10.00 Couples Retreat (S,HD) 10.00 Made in Chelsea (S). (S). 1/3. The council 2/13. Alien refugee (2009). See Choices Football Show (HD). 2/11. Alex wins Binky rejects Delâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s application Roman prepares for a Dave Jones is joined by Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? over by declaring his for a home improvement funeral in the wake of a guests including love for her and denying grant, but his spirits are family tragedy, while footballers, managers his supposed infidelities, raised by news of a Emery tries to connect and club chairmen to but Cheska and Fran fancy-dress party. with him following the discuss all the major endeavour to find out fatal event that involved stories in the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the truth by grilling both their fathers. football news. Stevie.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan is given a makeover. 12.45 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.10 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.35 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.00 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

11.20 The Royle Family (S). 11.00 How I Met Your 11.00 A League of Their 1/6. Dave and Denise Mother (R,S,HD). 19/22. Own (R,S,HD). 3/11. have important news. Barney hijacks Marshallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s With Micky Flanagan, bachelor party plans. Gabby Logan and Jessica Ennis-Hill. 11.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3/20.

11.30 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches.

12.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.25 Bobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.45 Bobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.10 Being Erica (R,S,HD). 3.50 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.45 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). Highlights of Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show. 1.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Reading v Leicester City. 2.30 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Football Show (HD). 3.30 FL72 Review. 4.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 4.45 Football Gold (S). 5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Callen and Sam investigate a Marineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mysterious death. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.55 Road Wars (R,S). 2.20 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff (S). Dickensian comedy adventure, starring Robert Webb. 12.40 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 1.10 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 1.35 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2.25 The Royle Family (S). Dave and Denise have important news. 3.00 Close

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (HD). 8.30 Only Connect (HD). A family takes on three museum enthusiasts. 9.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (HD). 10.00 Thatcher and the IRA: Dealing with Terror (R,HD). 11.00 Great American Rock Anthems: Turn It Up to 11 12.00 Madness on Wheels: Rallyingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Craziest Years (R). 1.00 Only Connect (R,HD). 1.30 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). 2.00 Who Killed the Honey Bee? (R). 3.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (R).

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TV PICKS

LATER LIVE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WITH JOOLS HOLLAND 10pm, BBC2l

RIVER MONSTERS 7.30pm, ITV

Extreme angler Jeremy Wade embarks on one of his most challenging journeys as he investigates reports of a face-eating creature in a remote part of Bolivia. Finding his skills and knowledge tested to the limit, he encounters one of his oldest adversaries and discovers how a species can adapt its behaviour to survive.

The music show returns for its 44th run, with performances by Elbow, Engelbert Humperdinck, Neneh Cherry, Eagulls and Agnes Obel.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Best of British (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

BBC2

6.05 Homes Under the Hammer 7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Saints and Scroungers 8.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 9.00 Great British Garden Revival 10.00 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 The Super League Show 11.20 Film: A Goofy Movie (1995). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.30 Film: The War Lover (1962). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.15 The Great British Bake Off 3.15 Planet Earth 4.15 Coast 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

SHETLAND 9pm, BBC1

EMBARRASSING BODIES: LIVE FROM THE CLINIC 8pm, Channel 4

Part two of two. Time is running out for Perez as his prime suspect lies critically ill, until a discovery by Sandy takes the investigation in a fresh direction. Last in the series.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak News and entertainment. (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD).

The medical team returns to take viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; appointments live over the internet, as well as meeting them at the new mobile clinic in different locations as they tackle some of the embarrassment surrounding mental-health issues alongside physical concerns.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA 11.00 Come Dine with Me 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Classic Car Rescue (R,S,HD). Bernie Fineman and Mario Pacione restore a Porsche 928. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Lucky Day (S) (2002). Thriller, starring Amanda Donohoe. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Braxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s return upsets Ricky. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 River Monsters (S,HD). 7/7. See Choices Above.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 Lent Diaries (S). 11/16. A pastorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s campaign against Nigeriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anti-gay laws.

7.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). An ambulance crew from the British Overseas Territoryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only hospital is called out to help a tourist. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). 5/6. Barnaby searches for a link between two cases when a coma victim wakes up a year after she was attacked and members of a chess club are targeted by a killer.

8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (S). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 New Worlds (S,HD). 3/4. Bethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey to begin a new life ends abruptly when her ship is wrecked on the shores of Massachusetts, while Abe Goffeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fight for justice takes a new turn in England.

9.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 16/22. Jane and Lisbon pose as a couple and go undercover as wealthy collectors, in an operation to take down a ruthless gang of art thieves. Crime drama, with Simon Baker.

10.15 Dogging Tales (R,S,HD). Photographer Leo Maguireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s documentary, providing an insight into why men and women head to public areas after dark to engage in or watch sexual activity in front of strangers.

10.00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (S,HD). 11/24. A teenager is found beaten to death on an amusement park ride. 10.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 18/20. Part one of two. Megan investigates a mysterious viral outbreak in Philadelphia.

11.25 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R,S). 3/15. With Jennifer Saunders, Noel Edmonds, David Walliams, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon.

11.50 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 19/20. Part two of two. Megan tries to stop the spread of the deadly virus.

12.25 Random Acts (S). 12.30 Poker (S). 1.25 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.50 Trans World Sport (R,S). 2.45 Brighton Marathon (R,S). 3.45 Goodwood 72nd Membersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Meeting (R,S). 4.10 The Grid (R,S). 4.40 SuperScrimpersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.35 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 5.45 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD).

12.40 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.05 Access. 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Shops and Robbers: Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s War on Shoplifters (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

â&#x2013;ź

The Mentalist, 9pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/25. Selma dates Troy McClure. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Joe enters an uneasy alliance with Trevor and Grace.

â&#x2013;ź

New Worlds, 9pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

â&#x2013;ź

Emmerdale, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 126/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 7/20. A Northamptonshire couple hoping to move to Brittany. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 7/45. The North West chefs prepare seafood courses.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Lucy makes a big decision about her love life. Followed by BBC News; Regional News. 8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 27/52. Raf becomes distracted by work as he and Amy await the results of their IVF treatment. Dominic has a blast from the past and Elliot tries to smooth the waters between Jonny and Jac.

8.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Shetland (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Watermen: A Dirty Business (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Documentary following the lives of staff at a water company serving the northwest of England, beginning as workers deal with the effects of a hot summer.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (S,HD). 2/9. Satirical current affairs quiz.

10.00 Later Live â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with Jools Holland (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

Newsnight, 10.30pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Holby City, 8pm

11.20 The Guess List (R,S,HD). 1/6. Celebrity game show, hosted by Rob Brydon.

11.20 Real Storage Wars: Business Boomers (R,S,HD). 2/4. Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-storage industry.

12.00 Weatherview (S). 12.05 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: The Plantagenets (R,S). Robert Bartlett examines how the dynasty fought to win back land in France. 1.20 Sign Zone: The Greatest Knight: William Marshal (R,S). The life and times of the medieval soldier and statesman. 2.20 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

â&#x2013;ź

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12.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

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Another selection of over-the-fence wrangles featuring Barnsley pensioners Barry and Phyllis Roddis’s dispute with a neighbour who was scrapping cars in his driveway. Plus, in Streatham, south London, Richard and Philomena Chadwick have been battling for five years to evict squatters.

Fern Britton presents a horticultural contest in which nine pairs of gardeners grow fruit, vegetables and flowers and produce jam, chutney, cordial, pickles and jellies.

ITV2 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 Real Housewives of Miami 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 Real Housewives of Miami 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

E4 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Dog Patrol (R,S). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Yonderland (R,HD). 10.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). The actress highlights the work of paramedics. 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S).

FILM PICKS

THE NIGHTMARE NEIGHBOUR NEXT DOOR 8pm, Channel 5

THE BIG ALLOTMENT CHALLENGE 8pm, BBC2

THE GRUDGE 2 10.35pm, ITV

INDEPENDENCE DAY 7.30pm, E4

A woman travels to Tokyo, but finds herself hounded by supernatural beings. Horror sequel, starring Amber Tamblyn and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

GOLD 7.15 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.35 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.35 Yes Minister (S). 10.15 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 10.55 Just a Minute. 11.35 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.15 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.35 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

The US president leads the fight against a force of seemingly indestructible aliens. Sci-fi adventure, with Will Smith, Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). 12.00 FL72 Review. 1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 2.00 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). 4.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.00 Premier League Review (HD).

The Vampire Diaries, 9pm

Bodyshockers … 11.25pm

The Smoke, 10pm

The Vicar of Dibley, 8.40pm

Live Football Special, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 21/30. A woman from West Yorkshire takes part in the dating show.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/24. The gang celebrates Halloween. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S). 2/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 6/22. A miracle tree appears in the garden.

6.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 5/18. Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 11/18.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Joe outlines his plan to kill Fraser. 7.30 Independence Day (S,HD) (1996). See Choices Above. ●●●●

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22. Bart is placed on medication. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5/7. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/3. The council rejects Del’s application for a home improvement grant, but his spirits are raised by news of a fancy-dress party.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 13/24. Alan and Charlie catch flu before a date. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 14/24. Charlie tries to manage his money.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,HD). 13/24. Emotional wounds are reopened for Chin when Internal Affairs reveals the identity of the man who killed his father 15 years earlier.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 4/7. A bank raid leaves Grim a happy man. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4/8. Geraldine tries her hand at fundraising.

9.00 The Vampire Diaries (S,HD). 16/22. Damon ponders how to make a disturbing confession to Elena, who is currently spending time with mysterious student Luke while campus is empty for spring break.

9.00 Twin Towns (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Families from the UK and America swap homes and lives for a week. Edinburgh couple Craig and Debbie Stephens change places with the Fish-Taylor clan from San Diego.

9.20 Miranda (S). 4/6. A hotel stay adds excitement to Miranda’s life.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 5/10. With guests Katie Hopkins and Chris Ramsey. 10.50 Paranormal Activity (S,HD) (2007). Horror, starring Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

12.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan and Charlie catch flu before a date. 1.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Damon ponders how to make a confession to Elena. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

7.00 Live Football Special (HD). Arsenal v West Ham United (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the Premier League match at the Emirates Stadium, where the Gunners will expect to do the double over their opponents.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.15 Revista De La Liga 10.00 The Smoke (R,S,HD). 10.25 Marvel’s Agents of (S). 2/3. Del buys a new 8/8. The team members (HD). Scott Minto SHIELD (R,S,HD). 15/22. manual to show him reassess their lives presents highlights of The team encounters a how to make positive following the explosion, the latest La Liga deadly seductress who decisions, but it only with Kev vowing to start matches in Spain. has escaped from succeeds in helping the afresh with Trish and Asgard and enslaved a Trotters’ finances hit an Billy throwing a party to biker gang in her search all-time low. give Mal a good sendfor power, but the off. Last in the series. warrior Lady Sif steps in to thwart her. 11.25 The Royle Family (S). 11.25 Bodyshockers: My Big 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 2/6. The relatives gather Boob Hell (R,S,HD). 4/4. (R,HD). 12/24. A senator’s for Sunday lunch. A woman who wants to daughter is attacked. reverse her breast enlargement surgery. Last in the series.

11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.45 Football League Gold (S,HD). Charlton Athletic v Sunderland from 1998.

12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.20 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.05 Bodyshockers: My Big Boob Hell (R,S,HD).

12.00 Football Special (HD). 1.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 1.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 1.30 Football Asia (S). 2.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Football Gold (S). 4.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 4.30 Football Asia (S). 5.00 Revista De La Liga (HD).

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). With Jermain Defoe, Zoe Ball and John Bishop. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Black Adder (S). Edmund’s father becomes king. 12.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Harry presents a surreal version of You’ve Been Framed. 1.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 1.40 The Royle Family (S). 2.10 The Black Adder (S). Edmund’s father becomes king. 3.00 Close

BBC3

7.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A groom-to-be takes sole charge of organising his wedding. 8.00 Gavin & Stacey (R,S,HD). The happy couple return from their honeymoon. 8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R,S,HD). Gavin sets out to help Smithy accept his responsibilities. 9.00 The Call Centre (S,HD). Nev starts a health club for the staff. 10.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (S). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 1.05 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.35 Can Criminals Say Sorry? (R,S,HD). 2.35 Bamboo (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Call Centre (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). With Michael Portillo. 8.00 At Home with the Georgians (R). How the British obsession with homes began 300 years ago. 9.00 British Gardens in Time: Stowe (HD). Exploring the landscape gardens of Stowe in Buckinghamshire. 10.00 The First World War (R). 10.50 Operation Mincemeat (R). A British mission to deceive Hitler in 1943. 11.50 A303: Highway to the Sun (R,HD). The troubled history of the road. 12.50 Wild Wales (R). 1.50 At Home with the Georgians (R). 2.50 British Gardens in Time: Stowe (R).

TUESDAY April 15 ���’� ���� ��� ��������� ����������

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73


TV PICKS

LAW & ORDER: UK 9pm, ITV

A blood-spattered hotel room and a stolen credit card lead detectives Ronnie and Joe to a privileged young woman whose newborn baby has gone missing.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

UNDER OFFER: ESTATE AGENTS ON THE JOB MONKEY PLANET 8pm, BBC2 9pm, BBC1

From £200,000 two-up, two-downs to shoe-box sized flats for £1million, this episode focuses on the polarised London property market and the estate agents plying their trade there. In Chelsea, Ed Mead and Eileen Neville are experiencing a worrying downturn, while a few miles east in the suburb of Dagenham, business is booming.

BBC2

6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S). 7.20 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 8.05 Saints and Scroungers (R,S,HD). 8.35 Sign Zone: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S). 9.20 Antiques Roadshow (R,S,HD). 10.20 Food & Drink (R,S). 10.50 Sign Zone: See Hear (S,HD). 11.20 Film: The Fall of the Roman Empire (S) (1964). See Choices Above. ●●●● 2.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 3.15 Planet Earth (R,S,HD). 4.15 Coast (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S,HD).

George McGavin explores primates’ capacity to use tools and solve problems, from macaques that floss their teeth to the bonobo that can order its own picnic. Last in the series.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With Fay Ripley. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). Aggie MacKenzie helps two hoarders whittle down their possessions. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD).

KILLING SPREE: THE MIAMI MURDERS 8pm, Channel 5

During a three-month period in 1997, Andrew Cunanan murdered at least five people in three American states – a spree that ended with his suicide just days after he had gunned down Gianni Versace. This programme draws on expert witnesses in an attempt to determine Cunanan’s motives.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). An annual race for boats made entirely out of cardboard. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 3.15 Film: Bonneville (S) (2006). Drama, starring Jessica Lange. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Megan finds Charity’s pregnancy test box. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Carla issues Peter with an ultimatum about his drinking.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 Lent Diaries (S). 12/16. The work of a Ghanaian pastor.

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). Jason Bradbury and Rachel Riley check out curved televisions, and Jon Bentley tests steam mops. Followed by 5 News Update.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Andy confronts Brax at the beach. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

Castle, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/25. Bart rents a car. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Joe outlines his plan to kill Fraser.

Secret Eaters, 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 10/24. Another six hopefuls are put to the test, preparing a plate of food that represents them and rustling up a dish from a choice of two sets of surprise ingredients.

8.00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Big Star’s Little Star (S,HD). 4/8. Stephen Mulhern hosts the entertainment show in which children spill the beans about their famous relatives, who are playing to win a jackpot of £15,000 for their chosen charities.

8.00 Secret Eaters (S). 6/8. Anna Richardson puts a factory night-shift manager, his wife and mother under surveillance, discovering a liking for fatty sausage sandwiches and oildrenched salads.

8.00 Killing Spree: The Miami Murders (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Monkey Planet (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Ian Hislop’s Olden Days – The Power of the Past in Britain (S,HD). 2/3. The satirist examines Britain during the Industrial Revolution and the Victorian era, when people sought inspiration from the Middle Ages to make sense of a changing world.

9.00 Law & Order: UK (S,HD). 6/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 How to Get a Council House (S). 1/3. New series. A look at the impact of welfare reforms on the people of Tower Hamlets, as council workers in the London borough try to find accommodation for those facing homelessness.

9.00 NCIS: Death Wish – Part One (S,HD). 11/24. Part one of two. A dead journalist is found to have been investigating the proliferation of drugs in the Navy. Meanwhile, Ziva’s father turns up unannounced.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 22/36. With Kelly Sotherton and Jason Gillespie.

10.00 Happy Birthday BBC Two (S). A celebration of the channel. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 Paul O’Grady’s Animal Orphans (R,S,HD). 2/3. The comedian strikes up a bond with a litter of cheetah cubs, meets a black rhino calf and follows efforts to release a baby baboon into the wild.

10.00 The Hunt for the Boston Bombers (S). See Choices Above.

10.00 Castle (S,HD). 17/24. Part two of two. Beckett and Castle try to track down the bomber. 10.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S,HD). 6/22. DB’s son Charlie and his girlfriend become murder suspects after a university basketball team’s tyrannical coach is found bludgeoned to death.

11.05 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show (R,S,HD). 6/6. With Bruce Forsyth, James Corden and Tracey Emin. Last in the series. 11.55 Scary Movie 4 (S) (2006). See Choices Above. ●

11.20 Watermen: A Dirty Business (R,S,HD). 1/6. The work of staff at a water company serving the north-west of England.

11.35 Baboons with Bill Bailey (R,S,HD). 2/8. The Da Gama troop wreaks havoc in the Cape Town suburbs.

11.20 Mayday: The Passenger Who Landed a Plane (R,S,HD). The story of how John Wildey landed an aircraft in October 2013.

11.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S,HD). 9/19. Stabler doubts he is the father of Kathy’s child.

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). The history of deaf theatre. With voiceover. 12.50 Sign Zone: Horizon: Living with Autism (R,S). The pioneering work of developmental psychologist Uta Frith. 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.15 Random Acts (R,S). 12.20 Music on 4: Music Nation (S). 12.50 Film: California Dreamin’ (2007). Satirical comedy drama, with Armand Assante. ●●●● 3.25 Film: Hills of Home (S) (1948). Family drama, with Edmund Gwenn. ●●● 5.05 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). A conservatory conversion on a budget of £50.

12.40 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.05 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

after

12

74

Tipping Point, 4pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 127/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S). 8/20. A Brighton couple hoping to move to the Abruzzo region of Italy. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 8/45. The North West chefs prepare main courses.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the live magazine show featuring big-name studio guests. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

10 11

Ian Hislop’s Olden Days … 9pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6 7 8 9

MasterChef, 8pm

Nyvt Nypkh€4 Iwyps 994 :89<


THROUGH THE KEYHOLE 9pm, ITV2

A year after the Boston Marathon bombings, this documentary tells the story of five days of terror last April, with access to those involved in the biggest manhunt of recent times.

ITV2 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

Chat show host Jonathan Ross and actress Denise Van Outen join regular panellist Dave Berry as Keith Lemon is let loose in the homes of three mystery celebrities. With the help of the studio audience, the panellists use their powers of deduction and observation to identify the famous homeowners.

E4 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE HUNT FOR THE BOSTON BOMBERS 10pm, Channel 4

SCARY MOVIE 4 11.55pm, BBC1

THE FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE 11.20am, BBC2

A dim-witted heroine sets out to rid the Earth of aliens with the help of a ghost. Spoof horror sequel, with Anna Faris, Leslie Nielsen and Carmen Electra.

GOLD

The Roman emperor is murdered by his mad son’s cronies. Historical drama, starring Alec Guinness, Sophia Loren and Stephen Boyd.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Dog Patrol (R,S). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 10.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). The actress shadows an incident support officer. 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

6.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 6.50 Just a Minute. 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.40 Yes Minister (S). 10.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.00 Just a Minute. 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.40 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 11.00 Barbados Legends Football (S,HD). 12.30 Sporting Greats (S). 1.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 2.00 Football Special (HD). 3.00 Barbados Legends Football (S,HD). 4.30 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Football League Gold (S,HD).

Shaun of the Dead, 10pm

How I Met Your ... 7.30pm

Duck Quacks Don’t ... 8pm

The Royle Family, 11.25pm

Live Copa Del Rey Final, 8pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 1/40. Londoner Tom hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/24. Stuart asks Amy out on a date.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 4/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 11/22. Marge makes plans for the future.

6.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD). Super League review.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Clumsy kids and sporting slip-ups. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). A driver reverses his car into a river.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Grace agonises over whether to go through with her plan to kill Fraser. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 8/22. With the guest voice of Joan Rivers. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 6/7. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/3. Del buys a new manual to show him how to make positive decisions, but it only succeeds in helping the Trotters’ finances hit an all-time low.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 15/24. Part one of two. Charlie falls for a crazy woman. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 16/24. Part two of two. Frankie reveals her story.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10/24. Barney tries to get his parents back together. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24.

8.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 4/8. With Miranda Hart and Richard Ayoade. 8.30 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 5/8. With Kathy Burke and John Hannah.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 1/7. The boys in blue end up in the dock. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 5/8. Election fever hits the village.

9.00 Through the Keyhole 9.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2/6. See Choices (S,HD). 15/22. Julian Masters returns, and is Above. angrier than ever before – but when he gets caught by Ultra, he is forced to strike a dangerous bargain. Robbie Amell stars.

9.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 2/8. Lee Mack hosts the comedy panel game in which actress Olivia Colman, funnyman Rhod Gilbert and baking king Paul Hollywood come up with all manner of amazing facts.

9.20 Miranda (S). 5/6. Penny decides to throw a party, hoping one of the male guests will turn out to be a suitable partner for Miranda, who tries to get out of attending the event.

7.00 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 7.15 Spanish Football Gold (S,HD). 7.30 Ronaldo: A Golden Year (S,HD). 8.00 Live Copa Del Rey Final (HD). Real Madrid v Barcelona (Kick-off 8.30pm). All the action from the Mestalla in Valencia, where the fierce rivals battle it out for silverware. Barca have won both league meetings between the sides this term, but Real will be determined to avenge those defeats and make amends for losing last year’s final in their own stadium against their other big rivals Atletico Madrid.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 A League of Their 10.00 Shaun of the Dead 10.00 Party House (S,HD). (S). 3/3. Raquel’s father Own (R,S,HD). 5/11. (2004). An aimless man 1/6. New series. Six finds an old watch David Walliams, Mo decides to get his life groups of friends are among the Trotters’ Farah and Clare Balding back on track just as given an empty mansion junk, which he claims join Jamie Redknapp, zombies start to roam and 24 hours to throw could net them a fortune Andrew Flintoff and Jack the streets of London to the party of a lifetime. at auction. However, Whitehall for the sportsfeast on the living. The first episode nothing can quite based comedy quiz, Comedy horror, with features Laura and her prepare them for the hosted by James Corden. Simon Pegg and Nick gang of London-based shock that awaits. Frost. Including FYI mates. Daily. ●●●● 11.25 The Royle Family (S). 11.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Football Special (HD). 3/6. The family argues 2/11. Spencer and Jamie (R,S,HD). 16/24. Sam Everton v Crystal Palace over a television go on a boys’ night out. helps an old friend and Manchester City v programme. whose nephew has been Sunderland. kidnapped.

12.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 12.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 1.05 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 1.45 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 2.10 Kesha: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rude Tube: Animal Madness (R,S). 2.05 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.25 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.50 Being Erica (R,S,HD). 3.30 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.00 Cop Squad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Black Adder (S). Edmund tries to prove his brother is illegitimate. 12.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at Casualty and Holby City. 1.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 1.40 The Royle Family (S). 2.10 The Black Adder (S). Edmund tries to prove his brother is illegitimate. 3.00 Close

12.00 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 12.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 4.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 4.30 What’s the Story? (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). With guest Guy Ritchie. 8.00 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). Nev starts a health club for the staff. 9.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (S,HD). Tempers begin to fray. 10.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S). Two teenagers embark on their first unsupervised holiday abroad. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Brian uses Stewie’s time machine to impress women at bars. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). The criminal who crippled Joe breaks out of jail. 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.05 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). 1.05 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 2.05 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.35 Fuzzbox (R,S). 2.55 Kris: Dying to Live (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: The Story of Agriculture (R). The revolution in the production of fruit and vegetables. 9.00 Timewatch: The Real Bonnie and Clyde (R,HD). The lives of the notorious outlaws. 10.00 Voyages of Discovery (R). 11.00 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.20 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.40 Everyday Eden: A Potted History of the Suburban Garden (R,HD). 12.40 Chemistry – A Volatile History (R). 1.40 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: The Story of Agriculture (R). 2.40 Timewatch: The Real Bonnie and Clyde (R,HD).

WEDNESDAY April 16 ���’� ����

Business

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The biggest and best shopping destination in the South West is right on your doorstep.

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75


TV PICKS

THE WALTON SEXTUPLETS AT 30 9pm, ITV

15,000 KIDS AND COUNTING 9pm, Channel 4

The worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only surviving all-female sextuplets â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the Waltons, from Wallasey on the Wirral â&#x20AC;&#x201C; appear in front of the cameras once again.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Best of British (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

The documentary charts the transition from the familiar foster home to the unknown of adoptive parents. As reality sets in, adults and children alike discover the prospect of learning to fit in to a new family can be daunting, with both sides hoping they will be loved and accepted. Last in the series.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 7.45 Saints and Scroungers (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone (R,S). 10.15 Animal Park (S). 11.00 Film: Ray Harryhausen: Special Effects Titan (S) (2011). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.35 Film: Jason and the Argonauts (S,HD) (1963). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.15 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass (R,S,HD). 3.15 Planet Earth (R,S,HD). 4.15 Coast (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

PARKING MAD 9pm, BBC1

New documentary series following people on both sides of the car-parking battle. A 93-year-old man appeals a fine and Sussex villagers take action against London commuters.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With guest Amanda Redman. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). Aggie MacKenzie challenges hoarders to clear their clutter. 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD).

HAROLD SHIPMAN: DRIVEN TO KILL 9pm, Channel 5

Dramatised documentary analysing the crimes of serial killer Harold Shipman, the doctor believed to be responsible for the deaths of an estimated 250 people. The first instalment of this two-part programme looks at what drove Harold Shipman to kill over a period of almost 30 years.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 3.20 Film: Patricia Cornwellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Front (S) (2010). Mystery sequel, starring Andie MacDowell. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 Lent Diaries (S). 13/16. The co-founder of Triumphant Church International in Tottenham.

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Ross and John tackle a suspected gunman, while teams deal with the results of dangerous driving. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Declan is hopeful he can change Charityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind about the pregnancy. 7.30 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Young Drinkers: Tonight (S,HD). Monitoring alcohol consumption.

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Hannah tries to keep her relationship with Andy a secret. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

Person of Interest, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/25. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Grace agonises over whether to go through with her plan to kill Fraser.

8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 11/24. Six more amateur cooks compete for a place in tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quarter-final, preparing a plate of food that represents who they are and rustling up a surprise dish in the Invention Test.

8.00 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter (S,HD). 2/3. The businessman heads to Hawick in the Scottish Borders to lend his expertise to a company that makes and sells wool and cashmere jumpers and has more than 200 employees.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity is confronted by an angry Jai. 8.30 Ade at Sea (S,HD). 5/6. Adrian Edmondson visits the fishing port of Mallaig in the Highlands.

8.00 Posh Pawn (S). 1/6. New series. An insight into the world of high-end pawnbroking, going behind the scenes at a Surreybased firm dealing in luxurious and exclusive objects.

8.00 Beware! Cowboy Builders Abroad (S,HD). New series. Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman help British expats who have fallen victim to unreliable tradespeople. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

8 Out of 10 Cats Does â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

9.00 Parking Mad (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Protecting Our Parents (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Walton Sextuplets at 30 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 15,000 Kids and Counting (S). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Harold Shipman: Driven to Kill (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

Ade at Sea, 8.30pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 128/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 9/20. A couple from Devon desperate to find a home in the Algarve. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 9/45. The North West chefs prepare desserts.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian learns the truth about Lucy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; courtesy of Cindyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plotting. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 10.35 Life and Death Row (S,HD). 1/3. New series. A look at capital punishment through the eyes of young people whose lives have been shaped by it. Previously shown on BBC3.

10.00 Happy Birthday BBC Two (S). The celebration of the channel continues. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 Mercury Rising (S,HD) (1998). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (R,S,HD). 4/4. Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s version of the famous quiz, with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan. Last in the series.

10.00 Person of Interest (S,HD). 13/22. Kara Stanton forces Reese and Agent Snow to participate in a plan to break into a defence department lab and steal a computer virus powerful enough to shut down the Machine.

11.35 The Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Portrait (R,S,HD). Simon Weston has his portrait painted for the National Portrait Gallery.

11.20 Ian Hislopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Olden Days â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Power of the Past in Britain (R,S,HD). 2/3. The medieval revival during the Industrial Revolution and the Victorian era.

11.05 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (R,S). 1/8. Cardiff is the first stop for the new mobile clinic.

11.00 Gypsies on Benefits & Proud (R,S,HD). Documentary following a group of Roma moving to London.

12.35 Skiing Weatherview (S). 12.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 The Review Show (S,HD). With guests Sarah Churchwell, Sarfraz Manzoor and Paul Morley. 1.20 Sign Zone: Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Paying Your Doctor? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Panorama (R,S). 1.50 Sign Zone: I Was There: The Great War Interviews (R,S). Personal experiences of the First World War. 2.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 One Born Every Minute (R,S). 1.00 Random Acts (S). 1.05 Food Prices: The Shocking Truth (R,S,HD). 2.00 Dead Famous DNA (R,S,HD). 2.55 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (R,S,HD). 3.25 Are You Addicted to Your Doctor?: Channel 4 Dispatches (R,S). 3.55 Unreported World (R,S). 4.20 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 4.40 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). An annual race for boats made entirely out of cardboard. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A bland property near Leamington Spa, Warwickshire. 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). Liverpoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cathedrals. 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

10 11

Digby Jones â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

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MasterChef, 8pm

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12.40 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Young Drinkers: Tonight (R,S,HD). Monitoring alcohol consumption on a night out. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

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New action thriller about a government agent who has a super-computer microchip implanted in his brain, which makes him Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most valuable piece of technology and their biggest secret weapon. Things get personal in the first of a double bill when the professor who created the microchip is kidnapped.

New documentary series about NHS and social services teams in Birmingham caring for the elderly, following the cases they deal with over the course of a year.

ITV2 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S). 5.35 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

E4

Sky1

7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

INTELLIGENCE 9pm, Sky1

PROTECTING OUR PARENTS 9pm, BBC2

MERCURY RISING 10.35pm, ITV

GOLD

6.00 Dog Patrol (R,S). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 9.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 10.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS 12.35pm, BBC2

An FBI agent shields an autistic child from government assassins after the boy cracks a supposedly unbreakable top-secret code. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis.

6.25 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 6.55 Just a Minute. 7.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.50 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.50 Yes Minister (S). 10.25 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.50 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.50 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.15 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

The son of an usurped king battles monsters during an epic voyage Fantasy adventure, with Todd Armstrong and Nancy Kovack.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Story? (HD). 11.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 12.00 Boots â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; All (HD). Super League review. 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.00 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Story? (HD). 3.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 4.00 Football Special (HD). 5.00 FL72 Preview.

Celebrity Juice, 10pm

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 9pm

Arrow, 8pm

You, Me & Them, 8pm

Live Super League, 7.30pm

6.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 39/40. A man from London chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/24. The first day of school arrives. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 7/22.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 13/18. Crazy cats and daft dogs.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Joe and Freddie race to save their motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/24. Homer prevents a nuclear meltdown. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22. Bart and Lisa have families of their own.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 7/7. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/3. Raquelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father finds an old watch among the Trottersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; junk, which he claims could net them a fortune at auction. However, nothing can quite prepare them for the shock that awaits.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S). 17/24. Alan chooses Jakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guardian. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (S). 18/24. Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old flame has a sex change.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (S,HD). 12/24. Penny makes a decision. 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11/24. Marshall devises three bedtime stories based on the gangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exploits.

8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 18/23. Oliver does everything he can to protect his family when Slade finally makes his move, although a key member of Team Arrow begins to question his decisions.

9.00 Intelligence (HD). 1/13. 9.00 Tom Daley Goes 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Global (S,HD). 2/6. The (S,HD). 14/22. Jeffords See Choices Above. Olympic bronze prepares to join Peralta medallist and his best and Boyle on a mission friend Sophie arrive in to infiltrate a gym. Japan and explore the 9.30 2 Broke Girls (S,HD). capital city Tokyo, before 11/24. Caroline attends their trip ends with a the funeral of her former visit to an ancient nanny. lantern festival.

8.00 You, Me & Them (S). 6/6. Lauren questions her future with Ed. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 6/8. Geraldine conducts a radical Sunday service.

7.00 Super League Superstars (HD). Weekly chat show featuring people from the world of rugby league. 7.30 Live Super League (HD). Hull Kingston Rovers v Hull FC (Kick-off 8.00pm). Eddie Hemmings and Mike Stephenson present coverage of the topflight derby at Craven Park.

9.20 Miranda (S). 6/6. A handsome man leaves his wallet in the shop.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD). 10.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3/6. 10.00 Intelligence (HD). 2/13. The team investigates a 6/10. With Ollie Locke, Moss enrols on a terrorist suicide John Newman, Matthew cookery course. bombing, with Riley Wolfenden and Keith 10.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 4/6. making a drastic Duffy. Jenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dinner party decision when Gabriel 10.50 Dads (S,HD). 11/19. preparations do not go fails to complete a task. David works hard to buy as planned. Eli a present.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.15 FL72 Preview. A look (S). The brothers jet off ahead to the latest to Monte Carlo five round of fixtures in the years after achieving Championship, League their dream of becoming One and League Two. millionaires â&#x20AC;&#x201C; only for a dodgy deal to see them heading home. Christmas special from 2001.

11.05 Party House (R,S,HD). 11.00 Revolution (R,S,HD). 11.20 Two and a Half Men 1/6. Six groups of friends 16/20. The Patriots (R,S). 17/24. Alan throw the party of a stumble upon the chooses Jakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guardian. lifetime. enemyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new 11.45 Two and a Half Men re-education centre. (R,S). 18/24. Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old flame has a sex change.

11.40 The Royle Family (S). 4/6. Nana comes to stay.

12.15 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy and Bonnie throw Violet a baby shower. 12.45 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.10 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 The Black Adder (S). Edmund is appointed Archbishop of Canterbury. 1.05 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Napoleon takes on Nookie Bear. 1.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. The quirky comic sabotages Deal or No Deal. 1.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2.20 The Royle Family (S). Nana comes to stay. 3.00 Close

12.10 Rude Tube: Animal Madness (R,S). 1.15 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.10 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.00 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). Matt attends Wilhelminaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fundraiser with an unexpected guest.

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12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Part one of two. Callen and Sam join a mobile NCIS team. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). Six new graduates teach at three of Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s toughest schools. 8.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride (R,S). A space enthusiast plans the wedding for his fashion-conscious fiancee. 9.00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2012 (R,S). 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.30 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.00 Kris: Dying to Live (R,S,HD). 3.00 Junior Paramedics (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 The Sky at Night (R,HD). 8.00 Botany: A Blooming History (R). Timothy Walker explores the importance of photosynthesis. 9.00 Deep, Down and Dirty â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Science of Soil (HD). Chris Beardshaw reveals soil as it has never been seen before. 10.00 Ripping Yarns (R). 10.30 Some Dog Owners with Jokes (HD). 11.00 British Gardens in Time: Stowe (R,HD). 12.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (R,HD). 1.00 The Sky at Night (R,HD). 1.30 Some Dog Owners with Jokes (R,HD). 2.00 Botany: A Blooming History (R). 3.00 Deep, Down and Dirty â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Science of Soil (R).

THURSDAY April 17

11.15 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

12.15 Super League (HD). Hull Kingston Rovers v Hull FC. 1.15 Premier League Darts (HD). The 11th round of the season from Aberdeen. 4.45 Darts Gold (S,HD). Phil Taylor v John Part. 5.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 5.15 Darts Gold (HD). 5.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Darts Gold (S,HD).

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TV PICKS

HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU 9pm, BBC1

NATURAL WORLD: HONEY BADGERS – MASTERS OF MAYHEM 9pm, BBC2

Jeremy Clarkson is in charge as Ian Hislop and Paul Merton take potshots at the week’s news stories, with the help of panellists including Henning Wehn.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast. 9.00 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases. 9.45 Homes Under the Hammer. 10.45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.00 The Great North Passion See Choices Above. (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 BBC Regional News (S). 1.20 Film: 101 Dalmatians (S,HD) (1996). See Choices Above. ●●● 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 4.45 Flog It! (R,S). 5.45 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Although barely a foot tall, the honey badger has a reputation as one of the most fearless animals in the world. This documentary follows a scientist, a beekeeper and a conservationist in South Africa as they set out to discover if the creature is really as fearsome as it is made out to be.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S). 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 7.45 Saints and Scroungers (R,S,HD). 8.15 The Travel Show (S,HD). 8.40 Film: The Road to El Dorado (S) (2000). ●●● 10.00 Film: Skyrunners (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 11.30 Animal Park (R,S). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 Film: King of Kings (S,HD) (1961). ●●●● 3.35 Coast (R,S). 4.35 Film: Becoming Jane (S,HD) (2006). Romantic period drama, with Anne Hathaway. ●●●

ALAN CARR: CHATTY MAN 10pm, Channel 4

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS 8pm, Channel 5

The host is joined by The Other Woman stars Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, TV baker Paul Hollywood and Amazing Greys host Paddy McGuinness.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 10.20 The Unforgettable Benny Hill (R,S). 10.55 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 12.25 Mystery Map (R,S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.35 ITV News West Country (S). 1.40 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 2.45 Film: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (S,HD) (2001). ●●●● 5.35 The Chase (R,S,HD).

In Winnipeg, Rick Yemm finally rises from his sickbed to get back behind the wheel, but has a close encounter with a pickup truck driven by a winter roads supervisor. Jack Jessee and Ronald ‘Porkchop’ Mangum cross swords when they are given jobs that require them to run in tandem and help each other offload.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). Curved televisions, steam mops and health-check apps and devices. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Film: The Dirty Dozen (S) (1967). Second World War action adventure, with Lee Marvin. ●●●● 5.05 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Mastermind, 8pm

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, 8pm

NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm

6.30 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.45 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 10/20. A Hertfordshire man looking for a property in the Spanish province of Almeria.

6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/25. Grampa and Mr Burns vie for an art collection. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). 22/36. With Kelly Sotherton and Jason Gillespie.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 10/45. The two remaining North West chefs prepare their entire menus.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). A mix-up over Adam’s age gets James’s mind racing. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Maria makes a pass at Tyrone.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.30 Unreported World (S). 2/8. Evan Williams visits the only music and ballet school in Iraq. 7.55 Lent Diaries (S). 14/16.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Bianca tells Heath he has to choose between her and Jess. 6.30 Scooby-Doo (S) (2002). Liveaction comedy adventure, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. ●● Followed by 5 News Update.

6 7 8 9

Outnumbered, 9.30pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Lucy’s world comes crashing down around her. 8.30 MasterChef (S,HD). 12/24. The quarter-finalists cook for food critic Jay Rayner.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 30/31. Five contenders compete in the last semi-final. 8.30 Gardeners’ World (S,HD). 7/31. Monty Don has suggestions for climbing plants that thrive in shady spots.

8.00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis (S,HD). 2/6. The actor and his family visit the historic county of Sussex. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tyrone mistakes a text from Maria as being from Kirsty.

8.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 16/22. John Garrett and Antoine Triplett return to help the team track down SHIELD’s nefarious enemy, the Clairvoyant, but Deathlok is hell-bent on protecting his master’s identity.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). Rick See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Have I Got News for You (S,HD). 3/9. See Choices Above. 9.30 Outnumbered (R,S). 3/6. Karen devises her own version of Britain’s Got Talent.

9.00 Natural World: Honey Badgers – Masters of Mayhem (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Lewis (R,S,HD). 1/6. Part one of two. Following the murder of a psychologist who was moonlighting as a psychic, Lewis struggles to unravel the victim’s baffling double life. Sanjeev Bhaskar guest stars.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 7/12. Capturing viewers’ instant reactions and lively discussions on what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas. Narrated by Caroline Aherne.

9.00 NCIS: Death Wish – Part Two (S,HD). 12/24. Conclusion. After the deaths of two family members of NCIS employees, the team identifies the killer as a Swedish mercenary and link the bullets to an Iranian arms dealer.

11

10.00 The Trip to Italy (S,HD). 3/6. Steve and Rob visit Viareggio in Tuscany. 10.30 QI (R,S,HD). 6/18. With Sandi Toksvig, Trevor Noah and Jason Manford.

10

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.15 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.20 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 3/13. Light-hearted chat and music.

11.05 Bad Education (S,HD). 2/7. A new teacher takes over Alfie’s class. 11.35 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. Lucy’s world comes crashing down around her.

11.00 Later – with Jools Holland (S,HD). 1/7. New series. An extended edition of Tuesday’s show, with Elbow, Engelbert Humperdinck and Neneh Cherry.

1.30 Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.05 Jools Holland: My Life in Music (R,S,HD). The Later host discusses his life and career. 1.05 Sign Zone: Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers (R,S). Part one of two. Documentary following drivers at the Arena Essex Raceway. 2.05 Sign Zone: Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am (R,S). 3.05 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

after

12

78

Nyvt Nypkh€4 Iwyps 994 :89<

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 The Bourne Supremacy (S,HD) (2004). See Choices Above. ●●●●

12.15 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (S). 4/15. See Choices Above.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 7/24. The team uncovers new evidence about the attempt on Callen’s life. 10.55 Britain’s Crime Capitals (R,S,HD). 1/4. A look at towns and cities in the UK most affected by crime, beginning with Liverpool.

11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S). 9/9. With Henning Wehn, Rob Beckett and Kate Humble. Last in the series. 11.50 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 14/22. Jeffords prepares to join Peralta and Boyle on a mission.

11.55 Access. Showbiz news and gossip.

12.15 Film: The King of Comedy (S,HD) (1983). ●●●●● 2.00 Random Acts (S). 2.05 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.25 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.50 Franklin & Bash (S,HD). 3.30 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 4.15 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.10 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Two officers deal with a suspected gunman. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A cluttered home in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). St Sophia’s Church, London. 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).


RUDE TUBE: RUDE TUNES 11.25pm, E4

In celebration of Good Friday, Fern Britton presents live from Bentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Park, South Shields, as local artists, dancers and singers tell the story of the last moments of Christâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life.

ITV2

Alex Zane continues his countdown, focusing on music-makers who have shot to stardom from nowhere thanks to the internet. Former US president George W Bush is among those featured, apparently performing a cover of a U2 song, along with a 75-year-old manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s video remake of Katy Perryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s California Gurls.

E4

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE GREAT NORTH PASSION 12pm, BBC1

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY 10.15pm, ITV

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Ice Age: The Meltdown, 5.35pm

Rude Tube: Rude ... 11.25pm

Star-Crossed, 8pm

The Black Adder, 11.20pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 13/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/22. Homer gets trapped in a cave.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Holly discovers a body floating in the river. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 17/22. Mr Burns replaces the power plant employees with robots. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 16/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 1/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). The brothers jet off to Monte Carlo five years after achieving their dream of becoming millionaires â&#x20AC;&#x201C; only for a dodgy deal to see them heading home. Christmas special from 2001.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/24. Marshall devises three bedtime stories based on the gangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exploits. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24. Penny makes a decision.

8.00 Star-Crossed (S,HD). 3/13. Roman fears for Emeryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s safety when she is tasked with filming the townsfolkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commemoration for the fallen soldiers.

8.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 7/8. Geraldine gives up chocolate for Lent.

9.00 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). David Attenborough invites viewers to join him on an after-hours stroll around the Natural History Museum.

9.10 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/4. Geraldine plays Cupid in the Christmas edition from 1997.

7.15 Johnny English (S,HD) (2003). A bumbling British secret agent tries to unmask a mysterious villain responsible for stealing the Crown Jewels. Comedy, with Rowan Atkinson, John Malkovich and Natalie Imbruglia. Including FIY Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Mission: Impossible 2 9.00 Knocked Up (S,HD) (S,HD) (2000). A secret (2007). An ambitious agent battles a former journalist unexpectedly spy-turned-criminal becomes pregnant after mastermind intent on a one-night stand with a stealing a deadly mandirectionless layabout. made virus. John Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Romantic comedy, action thriller sequel, starring Seth Rogen, starring Tom Cruise and Katherine Heigl and Paul Dougray Scott. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Rudd. Including FIY Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

An evil fashion designer is bent on turning a litter of puppies into a magnificent fur coat. Disney comedy adventure remake, starring Glenn Close.

The amnesiac assassin is framed for a botched CIA operation. Action thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon, Joan Allen and Brian Cox.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.50 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 8.05 Film: Dennis (S,HD) (1993). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.55 Film: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (S,HD) (2006). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.35 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.35 Film: Nancy Drew (S) (2007). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 5.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 5.35 Film: Ice Age: The Meltdown (S,HD) (2006). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Dog Patrol (R,S). 6.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 11.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Gloria settles a score with another mum during a school visit.

101 DALMATIANS 1.20pm, BBC1

7.15 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.35 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.35 Yes Minister (S). 10.15 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 10.55 One Foot in the Grave (S). 12.05 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.45 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 2.05 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 You, Me & Them (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Miranda (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures. 10.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 12.00 Live Super League (HD). St Helens v Wigan Warriors (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2.30 Live Super League (HD). Warrington Wolves v Widnes Vikings (Kick-off 2.45pm). 5.00 FL72 Live (HD). Blackpool v Burnley (Kick-off 5.15pm).

FL72 Live, 7.15pm

7.15 FL72 Live (HD). Doncaster Rovers v Derby County (Kick-off 7.30pm). Coverage from the Keepmoat Stadium, where the Championship season continues with this vital fixture.

10.30 Intelligence (R,S,HD). 1/13. Action thriller about a government agent who has a supercomputer microchip implanted in his brain, making him Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest secret weapon. Josh Holloway stars.

10.05 The Royle Family (S). 10.00 The Fantasy Football 5/6. Barbara walks out Club (HD). John Fendley on Jim. and Paul Merson present a discussion on key 10.45 The Royle Family (S). fantasy football issues, as 6/6. The Royles celebrate well as the weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Antonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 18th birthday. Premier League matches.

11.40 Take Me Out (R,S). 5/8. 11.25 Rude Tube: Rude A ballet dancer, a Tunes (R,S). 5/6. See barman, a magician and Choices Above. an actor take part.

11.30 Intelligence (R,S,HD). 2/13. The team investigates a terrorist suicide bombing.

11.20 The Black Adder (S). 4/6. Edmund meets an eligible princess.

11.00 Premier League Preview (HD). A look ahead to the weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fixtures. 11.30 Champions League Weekly (HD). A semifinal preview.

12.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Charlie tries to help a stripper. 1.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Jake disappears with a former NFL playerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daughter. 1.35 Mom (R,S,HD). 2.00 Mom (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team investigates a potential poisoner. 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.05 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Sid James appears on The Apprentice. 12.35 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Derek Acorah gets possessed by a washing machine. 1.05 The Royle Family (S). Barbara walks out on Jim. 1.35 The Royle Family (S). 2.05 The Black Adder (S). Edmund meets an eligible princess. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). Blackpool v Burnley. 1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). Doncaster Rovers v Derby County. 2.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 3.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 3.30 Champions League Weekly (HD). 4.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).

12.30 The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD). 1.05 Little Box of Horrors (R,S). 1.35 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.05 Bobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 2.55 Rude Tube: Rude Tunes (R,S). 3.45 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

BBC3

BBC4

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth Be with You (R,S). Blunders in Hollywood films. 7.45 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). Part two of two. 8.30 Toy Story (S,HD) (1995). Pixar animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.45 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News Extra (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S).

7.00 Sacred Music: The Story of Allegriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Miserere (R). 7.30 BBC Young Musician of the Year 2014 (HD). New series. Highlights from the final of the Strings section of the music competition. 9.00 Imagine â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jimi Hendrix: Hear My Train a Cominâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (R,HD). Profile of the revolutionary guitarist. 10.30 Jimi Hendrix: The Road to Woodstock (R,HD). The guitarist performs at the New York festival in 1969. 11.30 More Guitar Heroes at the BBC (R). Archive performances.

12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Film: Kevin and Perry Go Large (S,HD) (2000). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.45 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.15 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.45 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.15 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 3.45 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth (R,S).

12.30 Guitar Heroes on Later with Jools Holland (R). 1.30 Imagine â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jimi Hendrix: Hear My Train a Cominâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (R,HD). 3.00 Jimi Hendrix: The Road to Woodstock (R,HD).

FRIDAY April 18 ���â&#x20AC;&#x2122;ďż˝ ���� ���� ���� �� ������� ���� ���� ���� ����� ���� ������

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The Weekend 11 April 2014  

The Weekend is available Friday to Sunday and its FREE with Bristol Post. What to do with your time and money in Bristol this week, 11th Apr...