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Cringing mentally, I held up my hand. “This is silly. But, if it makes you happy, . . . I promise.” “Thanks, Bella,” he said. “I love you, kid.” “I love you, too, Dad.” I touched his shoulder, and then shoved away from the table. “If you need anything, I’ll be at Billy’s.” I didn’t look back as I ran out. This was just perfect, just what I needed right now. I grumbled to myself all the way to La Push. Carlisle’s black Mercedes was not in front of Billy’s house. That was both good and bad. Obviously, I needed to talk to Jacob alone. Yet I still wished I could somehow hold Edward’s hand, like I had before, when Jacob was unconscious. Impossible. But I missed Edward — it had seemed like a very long afternoon alone with Alice. I supposed that made my answer quite obvious. I already knew that I couldn’t live without Edward. That fact wasn’t going to make this any less painful. I tapped quietly on the front door. “Come in, Bella,” Billy said. The roar of my truck was easy to recognize. I let myself in. “Hey, Billy. Is he awake?” I asked. “He woke up about a half hour ago, just before the doctor left. Go on in. I think he’s been waiting for you.” I flinched, and then took a deep breath. “Thanks.” I hesitated at the door to Jacob’s room, not sure whether to knock. I decided to peek first, hoping — coward that I was — that maybe he’d gone back to sleep. I felt like I could use just a few more minutes. I opened the door a crack and leaned hesitantly in. Jacob was waiting for me, his face calm and smooth. The haggard, gaunt look was gone, but only a careful blankness took its place. There was no animation in his dark eyes. It was hard to look at his face, knowing that I loved him. It made more of a difference than I would have thought. I wondered if it had always been this hard for him, all this time. Thankfully, someone had covered him with a quilt. It was a relief not to have to see the extent of the damage. I stepped in and shut the door quietly behind me. “Hi, Jake,” I murmured. He didn’t answer at first. He looked at my face for a long moment. Then, with some effort, he rearranged his expression into a slightly mocking smile.