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WCSPP

INTOUCH

Westchester Center for the Study of Psychoanalysis & Psychotherapy

Fall/Winter 2012


WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Editor’s Letter: Do You Waggle? I do. By Terry Klee, LCSW

My hair clumped over my eyes. I couldn’t see. I wanted to see. But, my hands couldn’t touch my face to brush aside my mane. I stood still, attentive. Black netting shielded my face and made me perspire. Come in closer, a voice said. Who is that? Is that you?, another voice asked. Hesitation. Delight. D.J. Haverkamp, a professional beekeeper, moves beehives from field to field to pollinate neighbors’ orchards and gardens. Services like his are in response to a honeybee die-off called “colony collapse disorder.” Beekeepers report abnormally high die-offs, 30-70% of hives. It’s apparently due to changes in agricultural practice and unpredictable weather. Our very lives require these honeybees, no less. Come look at the beehive, D.J. said again. With my bee-bonneted garden club buddies, I leaned in. Lifting the lid of a beehive, D.J. uncovered the amazement of how worker bees cooperate to find food, how they use a dance known as a “waggle dance” to communicate with each other about resources to thrive. This edition of InTouch portrays how WCSPP waggles. In these pages, read Steve Spitz’s Director’s Letter “Vitality is a Genuine Community Effort” (p. 4). Then, turn to the “InTouch Profile” (p. 6) and learn how Michael Wald in search of, um, well, a hive joined WCSPP and now, years later, leads WCSPP’s public outreach efforts. Pages like “Goodwill Giving” (p. 14), “How Race Matters” (p. 24), and Ari Kellner’s “Talking to Children about Trauma” (p. 53) depict more waggle dances. Same goes for our ever-growing

Stingless Honeybees Photo on left: actual honeybee combs. Photo right: Hopp Grounds Garden Club members’ suit up to inspect the honeybee hives at John Jay Homestead in Bedford, NY. For more “when not in your chair” members’ moments, see page 38.

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“Members’ Endeavors” (p. 42). Our newest column “When Not in Your Chair” (p. 38) acquaints us with an affection for rescue pets and joy for music; plus, Angelica Smith thanks her analyst, Helen Golden, for the sweet coaxing to dance. Enjoy a quick look at what WCSPP’s candidates (p. 48) are up to when not with their analysts, supervisors or classmates (p. 50). You can even find out where your colleagues like to eat (p. 37). Then, glance at events’ highlights on pages 16 to 23 and again on page 49. David Schwartz stewards our strivings for honesty in his very raw “Why I Am Not A Heterosexual and Neither Are You.” In tandem, Eric Mendelsohn and Jerry Gargiulo join David’s courage as they put personal longing on to paper (p. 34 & 35.) Nearby, Julie Willstatter tells of our March retreat’s appeal, “The Poetry of Desire”(p. 30). Yes, like the endangered life-bearing honeybees, we of WCSPP work diligently together. We waggle. We long to live a life alive and to help others experience the same. We hearten the psychoanalytic experience. And, with the reluctant courage that comes with one’s concealed brow and perspiration, with one’s longing to see and be seen, with the qualms of life’s sting, we together make sweet honey. n

Terry Klee, InTouch Editor


Inside this Issue... Editor’s Letter Read how WCSPP waggles with you By Terry Klee, LCSW. Page 2

Out In the Community When we’re not in our chairs, where are we? Page 38

Director’s Letter Vitality is a genuine Community effort By Steve Spitz, PhD. Page 4

When Not In My Chair How one WCSPP mentor inspired another By Angelica Smith, LCSW Page 41

InTouch Profile Find out who Michael Wald is and what he knows about our new state-of-the-art website Page 6

Members’ Endeavors From new office openings to meditation classes to clinical publications, WCSPP’s members inspire one another. Page 42

Website Ready What’s new at your WCSPP website. Page 12

WCSPP’s Recent Graduates Congratulations to our recent graduates. Page 47

Goodwill Giving Here’s to the giving of goodwill. Page 14

Do you know the candidates? Look who’s gathering every Thursday at Wainwright. Page 48

WCSPP Events, Opportunities, & Occasions. Recall them here on the following pages. Page 16

Snapshots Because there’s more joy than these pages can hold. Page 49

How Race Matters WCSPP’s autumn conference with resources. Page 24

What are you up to? Candidates reveal what they are up to. Page 50

Upcoming Retreat: Desire See how desire will be a part of this year’s retreat. By Julie Willstatter, LCSW. Page 30 Writers’ Works Courageous, rigorous, and often personal. Consider WCSPP authors’ written art. Page 32 InTouch Asks What's the best local place to eat? Page 37

Talking to Children about Traumatic Events How one WCSPP Analyst Reached Out... By Ari Kellner, PsyD Page 53 A Member’s-Only Article by David Schwartz, PhD If you’re a WCSPP, member, enjoy the private extended versions of InTouch at Members Resources, wcspp.org Not a member yet? Enroll in WCSPP’s training and discover the opportunities. WCSPP Flashback When asked what her next writing venture would be, Abraham replied, sex education. Well, it’s out. Page 59

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012 4

Letter from WCSSP Director Vitality is a genuine community effort By Steve Spitz, PhD, WCSPP Director

The Westchester Center remains a vital and important cog in our professional and social lives. We continue to train students, treat longterm patients at very reduced fees, and bring speakers and films to our community. To name only a few, last year’s retreat and our recent annual conference welcomed hundreds of participants. Letters of Freud and Jung required a search for spare chairs amidst crowded attendance. Our upcoming spring retreat on “Desire” is already creating a buzz. Perhaps it is because WCSPP’s events address timely, thought provoking topics, ones that have immediacy for our practices. While we remain on solid financial ground with ample reserves, like most non-profit educational institutions, we continue to operate with a year-to-year budget shortfall. This necessitates ongoing fundraising. The current state of our challenging economy is having a significant effect everywhere, including at the Westchester Center. Fewer students are able to take on the cost of training, current students require more financial aid, and patients in our treatment service can afford only the lowest acceptable fees. These repercussions have a significant effect on our budget and need to be addressed. WCSPP continues to move forward in every way. We just launched our new website. We are hard at work developing a license qualifying program (LQP) in psychoanalysis and are targeting the fall of 2012 as a launch date. Our new reduced cost supervision program, which will provide ongoing supervision with members of our faculty to the community at large is rolling out as we speak. Finally, our most recently developed Couples Therapy Training Program is enjoying a robust and successful second year. I can’t individually thank all of those who need to be thanked here but maintaining our vitality is a genuine community effort and thanks go to all who have committed the time and hard work that are required. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Having said that, I would like to give a special “shout out” to Michael Wald, Terry Klee, Janet Shimer and Ari Kellner who have put an enormous amount of time, effort, thought, and skill into the construction of our beautiful new website. We will all benefit from their efforts which went way beyond the call of duty. As we continue to need financial support, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to WCSPP. The money is much needed and will be well utilized. Plus, you can soon do so via our new website, using the “donate” button. Your donation is also taxdeductible. An amount equal to one session is a suggested guideline for your contribution. Of course, feel free to donate more! See you soon at one of our upcoming events, Steve Spitz, WCSPP Director


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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

INTOUCHPROFILE

Website, Wald, & Whoa, What A Lot! How one man’s English class lead to his life-long journey and community Words by Terry Klee, LCSW, & Michael Wald, PhD

He’s tall, slender, and shows up to

InTouch: Okay, let’s start with back-in-

nearly all WCSPP events. He’s been on

the-day. When did you first know you

WCSPP committees for years. He’s faculty and supervisor. So, how is it that most members don’t know Michael

practice? Wald: I was sixteen and in high school.

Wald? His drift-like hair hints at a

There were two events that happened that

contemplative disposition. He’s not into

year. I had a great high school English

self-publicity; but, he is WCSPP’s

teacher who did an extended unit on

publicity chairperson. Here, InTouch

symbolism in literature, including Freudian

coaxes Michael to be recognized.

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wanted to be a psychologist in private

symbolism and interpretation. I loved that Continues on next page...


Interview with Wald, Continued from previous page class, and I love looking at both literature and human

practice near my home. I felt like I did not have a network

beings that way.

in Westchester. I have to say this was a reality, but like all things, seen through my own underlying issues. Murray

So, just like that? Voila?

encouraged me to get involved with WCSPP as an affiliate. From my first interactions I liked the warm collegial feeling

Wald: No, life reaches us mysteriously, doesn’t it? In that

that coexisted with a strong intellectual focus. My “like”

same year, my cousin became engaged to a man who was a

quickly progressed to love.

psychologist. I really liked him and we bonded. He felt I had a natural ability to be a psychologist and encouraged

How much this seems to be a common experience

me to pursue psychology in school.

for many of us. For you, what roles have you held with WCSPP?

And, now you mentor candidates at WCSPP in the same way. So, how was it you knew you wanted to

Wald: I am on the conference committee at WCSPP. Plus,

add psychoanalysis into your repertoire?

I teach and supervise in the both Adult and Child training programs.

Wald: I always knew I wanted to work directly with people and do clinical work. From my earliest thinking, being an

I imagine this has led to other opportunities, too?

analyst and being a therapist were synonymous. I was naïve in retrospect, especially considering during that time I was

Continues on next page...

interested in Fritz Perls’ and Gestalt psychotherapy. Ah, good ole naiveté! Is that what also led you to

“...I felt like I did not have a

know and love WCSPP?

network in Westchester... Murray

The true story is that it was through my own therapy. I had recently moved up to Westchester and had begun treatment with Murray Safian.

encouraged me to get involved with WCSPP as an affiliate. From my first interactions, I liked the warm collegial feeling that

Murray?

coexisted with a strong

Wald: I don’t think you ever got to meet Murray. He was

intellectual focus. My ‘like’

an early director and long time teacher. He was the most

quickly progressed to love.”

genuine and genuinely nice person I have ever known – If you think that is an unresolved transference distortion, ask anyone who knew him. Anyway, I was practicing in

Michael Wald, PhD Chairperson, Marketing & Public Relations

Stamford and NYC, and I was living in Larchmont at the time. I was talking in treatment about wanting to start a

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Website & Wald, continued from previous page

“... We want to make sure we are well known in the greater community as the top-notch training and treatment resource that we are. We need people to establish and maintain contacts and work as liaisons with agencies...I hope people will come forward and volunteer.”

Wald: Yep, I also teach and supervise at the Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Study Center in Manhattan and am on the admissions committee there. But, WCSPP’s Marketing & PR committee? It’s, well, a lot.

Michael Wald, PhD

Wald: (Chuckle.) Steve Spitz approached me. And, you know, I really mean what I just said, about

need for some of the functions that

how I feel about WCSPP.

the marketing committee is taking on. hard working and dedicated group.

Wald: The committee is a great, When we formed we were a bigger

Please, don’t stop there.

Something on the tip of your

group, but we coalesced into a group

tongue?

with Janet Shimer, Ari Kellner, Terry

Wald: Well, I feel like I would do

Wald: Yeah, I’m still surprised Steve

Klee, and Cynthia Heller at the core.

whatever I could to insure WCSPP’s

asked me; the position did not exist. I

growth and health. Steve and I have

am very happy he did. And, when he

known each other for a long time,

did, I wished I could tell Murray

from the time I was practicing in

about just how very much I had

Wald: It has been both fun and a

Stamford. Steve has remained a

really found a home at WCSPP.

stretch for me. We as therapists have

significant person in facilitating my feeling part of WCSPP early on. Over time, we have talked about the

How goes it, really?

change and growth as our goal, but it How would you describe the marketing committee or their process?

is different when working on a project with defined time-sensitive goals like a website or making connections with community agencies. The job also involves bringing the institute up to

“Adopt an Agency” Become a liaison to a community agency and share WCSPP with them. Ask Michael about it by clicking here >> Wald@wcspp.org

date in terms of today’s technology, media and communications. You pause and smile. I think it’s a smile... Wald: Goals with technology and media meant I first had to become comfortable with these things!

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Interview with Wald, Continued from previous page Luckily the other committee

invite the agencies to visit

members are savvier about

WCSPP’s web site; ads in local

Wald: We want to make sure we

technology than I initially was

papers lead to the same scenario,

are well known in the greater

and I have learned a lot. Talk

ads that could bring people to the

community as the top-notch

about technology, we have done

web where the WCSPP world

training and treatment resource

almost all our work through email

could be visited.

that we are. We need people to

—leaving us time for our practices and families.

establish and maintain contacts Um, again, whoa, it’s a lot.

and work as liaisons with agencies in the community; we need to get

Some reader might be further

Wald: Perhaps, but it became

a presence on various community

interested in this large

clear that we had to redo our site

web and print newspapers. I

movement.

to reflect the warmth, vibrancy,

hope people will come forward

and the dedication to intellectual

and volunteer.

Wald: Well, we spent time

rigor that is at the heart of the

initially formulating goals. All

institute.

nature: what’s in it for the

roads seemed to lead back to the web. For instance, the most

Let me appeal to human

Whoa. That’s a lot.

members, besides giving back to WCSPP, of course.

effective means of not just meeting WCSPP-related agencies

Wald: There is a lot to do, and I

but giving them access to

would love for more people to

Wald: I actually think it is a great

WCSPP’s breadth of

come forward and help.

opportunity, when you introduce

opportunities meant including in a brief, engaging card that could

the center to a contact, you are How can more people help?

also introducing yourself and Continues on next page...

Michael Wald, on far right, with incoming candidates: Michael Keeney, Maryalice “QuiQui” Balascio, and Emilce Garces

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Interview with Wald, Continued from previous page promoting your practice and getting experience

the Metro North schedule. I use “Pandora” a lot and I

networking as well.

really like “Around Me” when I am someplace new. I was addicted to “Words with Friends” for a while, but

Okay, but, what do you really want to say.

it started taking too much time, so I am going cold turkey.

Wald: I really like working with this group and think they are all too self-effacing. People all say they do not

When the bulk of your work as chairperson is

know that much about something – web design,

complete, what are you looking forward to

internet communications, community resources – and

doing more of again?

it turns out they know a great deal. Wald: I really don’t know. Since my kids are out of the InTouch is a bit voyeuristic and since you're all

house, I feel like I have more free time, even though I

about WCSPP’s technology these days, what

am pretty busy. Let’s just hope I don’t return to “Words

apps are on your phone?

with Friends” —unless WCSPP needs me to. Then, well! n

Wald: First, let me say I love my iPhone. As for apps, it’s boring but the app I use the most is “On Time” for

WHY A NEW WEBSITE: Affordability - Print materials and postage cost more than paperless modalities. Accessibility - Today’s public are using mobile devices to get information and read articles wherever they may be. So, whether you are a candidate, prospective student, or person seeking services, the new site’s technology enables you to easily read WCSPP’s content on preferred interfaces, not just your desktop computer. Searchability - WCSPP’s increasing number of events and academic programs necessitates users being able to search the website in order to reliably find info and documents. In the past, WCSPP would receive phone calls from persons unable to locate applications and similar prospective info at the large site. This is true for persons seeking psychotherapy services, too. Promotability - Now that the benefits above are in place, WCSPP’s outreach program can immediately respond to interested persons, agencies, and groups by referring them to the site rather than causing undue delay with phone-tag and mailed materials. Members-Only Security - The website is built on the latest platform known as CMS, which addresses the formerly increasing threat of hackers accessing sensitive member information.

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How Website Homepage Looks, Before & After BEFORE:

AFTER:

Get the details on the next pages... 11


WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

WEBSITEREADY What’s new at your WCSPP website

Searchability: Quickly find what you’re looking for.

MembersOnly LogIn: Enjoy easier signin with higher security.

Format Versatility: Change view for varying devices. like phones.

Subscribe: Staying cued in with WCSPP is now obvious & simple. Miss an event? Enjoy recaps on the new Events page

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No hunting for future events: See ‘em on every page


Donate: As a nonprofit group, donations get attention on every page.

Contact Us: Newcomers can use interactive GoogleMaps.

Public Outreach: People can quickly find our psychoanalytic services.

Toggle Buttons: Forms are easy to spot & easy to download.

Pay Online: Coming soon. We are finalizing the details.

General Inquiries: Easy-to-spot on homepage, email inquiry

Professional Emails: Just click person’s name to email them.

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

GOODWILLGIVING

Here’s to the Giving of Goodwill Join us in thanking our volunteers Compiled by Terry Klee

Spring Couples Symposium Jane Bloomgarden, Chair. Ken Barish Ruth Greer Ari Kellner Margaret Postlewaite John Turtz Kate Washton Michael Wald Julie Willstatter Supervisory Training Brunch Linda Fleidshman Margot Rubenstein

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Scientific Meeting - March: Inspiring Hope by Sandra Buechler, PhD Ken Barish Ann Crane Jill Delaney Jim Galloway Katie Hall Kate Washton Welcome Party Katie Hall, Chair. Cynthia Heller Sharon Picard Sandy Schoeneman Steve Spitz Julie Willstatter

InTouch E-zine Terry Klee, Editor Steve Guggenheim Graduation at Kittle House Katie Hall, Chair. Nancy Bottger Cynthia Heller Sharon Picard Sandy Schoeneman Theater in the City Freud's Last Session Katie Hall Sharon Picard Suzanne Weisman


Scientifc Meeting - May: Relational Psychoanalysis Meets the Asperger Patient by Ron Balamuth, Ph.D. Ken Barish Ann Crane Jill Delaney Jim Galloway Kate Washton Film Nights Jane Bloomgarden, Chair. Ken Barish Debra Lillenfield Kate Washton Scientific Meeting - September: The Freud-Jung Letters Ken Barish Eliot Adler Ann Crane Jill Delaney Jim Galloway Kate Washton Fall Diversity Conference Eric Mendelsohn, Chair. Annabelle Bushra Carlo Cardato Ruth Greer Lori Gunn Constance Haslett Ari Kellner Janet Shimer Michael Wald Child & Adolescent Training Faculty’s Didactic Sessions: Transgender Matters: Theoretical & Clinical Material Nancy Austin Jane Bloomgarden Kate Washton Open House: A Closer Look: Deepening the Therapeutic Connection Jane Kuniholm Janice Curran Mellen Lovrin Sharon Picard

Fall Town Meeting Michael Altschuler Roz Cohen Rebecca Conkling Ruth Greer John Turtz Scientific Meeting (December): Two Day Visit w. Thomas Kohut, PhD Ken Barish Ann Crane Jill Delaney Jim Galloway Kate Washton Fireside Chats Andrea Deutsch, Host Stewart Crane Rob Muller Psychoanalytic Association Aviva Gitlin, President Ann Crane, Former Co-President Heidi Knoll, Former Co-President Nancy Bottger Jill Delaney Dolly Doucette Paula Feirstein Geri Friedman Katie Hall Vivian Linder Carol Mahlstedt Rob Muller Vivian Sklar Julie Willstatter Association Directory Irene Studwell Vivian Sklar Vivian Linder Marketing Committee Michael Wald Janet Shimer Cynthia Heller Ari Kellner Terry Klee

Fund Raising Committee Diane Caspe Paula Feirstein Mark Finn Constance Haslett Heidi Knoll Randi Roth Andrea Smith Steve Spitz Irene Studwell Janet Zuckerman Retreat 2011: Humor Nick Singman, Chair. Wade Anderson Ken Barish Annabelle Bushra Stewart Crane Holy Dollinger Joy Dryer Mark Finn Linda Fleischman Geri Friedman George Goldstein Ruth Greer Nina Gershowitz Aviva Gitlin Bob Katz Terry Klee Judith Levy Barbara Messer Eric Mendelsohn Brice Moss Marty Mintz Rob Muller Joan Nordlinger David Rabinowitz David Schwartz Steve Spitz Irene Studwell Liz Cohn Stuntz John Turtz Glenn Wolff Janet Zuckerman

Psychotherapy Patient Center Angela LeManna Carol Mahlstedt

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WCSPPEVENTS So Many Opportunities & Occasions. Recall them here on the following pages.

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The Freud & Jung Letters Wainwright House September 16, 2011 Between 1906 and 1913, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung exchanged over 360 letters, revealing a passionate, creative and, no less, increasingly acrimonious relationship between these two. On September 16th, KEN BARISH and his Scientific Meetings committee brought WCSPP’ers the allure of sitting in on these correspondences between Freud and Jung. WCSPP’s DR. ELLIOT ADLER played the role of Freud, reading the letters as if he indeed were, well, Freud. Guest DR. WILLIAM BAKER, lithe in voice and disposition, played Jung. The audience took in a breath as Freud wrote Jung, I would lose authority if I were to be analyzed (by anyone other than myself). This is paraphrased, but the intimacy of these two men’s letters still resonates. Moderator DR. LOUISE DECOSTA explains, “Our intent was to capture the emotional and intellectual intensity of a relationship which has had such a fateful impact on the course of psychoanalytic history.” In preparation for the evening’s performance, the volumes of letters written over the formative and final years of Freud’s and Jung’s friendship were combed through by a creative analytic troupe, selecting a mere profound few for the evening’s play. These contributors are Elliot Adler PhD, Louise DeCosta PhD LCSW, , MARGARET KLENCK M.Div. L.P., William Baker PhD, and ALLISON AVERY MA.. Photo: The Freud & Jung Letters event at the Wainwright House. Seated in wingback chairs are Elliot Adler (left) and William Baker (right). At the podium, Margaret Klenck and Allison Avery,.

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Each autumn WCSPP kicks off it’s new academic year with alumni, faculty and new candidates. Here, WCSPP Director Steve Spitz & psychoanalytic alumni Julie Willstatter lead guests in singing “Get Together” by the Youngbloods. Lyrics reprinted, next page.

WELCOMEPARTY September 11, 2011 Wainwright House, Rye NY

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Love is but the song we sing, And fear's the way we die You can make the mountains ring Or make the angels cry Know the dove is on the wing And you need not know why C'mon people now, Smile on your brother Ev'rybody get together Try and love one another right now Some will come and some will go We shall surely pass When the one that left us here

ANNUALWELCOMEPARTY Each autumn WCSPP kicks off it’s new academic year with alumni, faculty and new candidates. Here, Director Steve Spitz & analytic alumni Julie Willstatter lead guests in singing “Get Together” by the Youngbloods.

Returns for us at last We are but a moments sunlight Fading in the grass C'mon people now, Smile on your brother Ev'rybody get together Try and love one another right now If you hear the song I sing, You must understand You hold the key to love and fear All in your trembling hand Just one key unlocks them both It's there at your command C'mon people now, Smile on your brother Ev'rybody get together Try and love one another right now Right now. Right now!

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

WCSPPEVENTS,CONTINUED

Film Night: In A Better World Wainwright House, Rye November 4, 2011

Transgender Identity Formation An Academic Evening’s Discourse November 22, 2011

These film nights are getting popular enough that one may want to start arriving earlier to get a seat. Indeed, the foreign film In A Better World left standing-room only for the latecomers. One might think it was because the film won an Academy Award as best foreign film last year. But, judging by how long it took folks to settle into chairs, WCSPP’s film nights’ draw is the camaraderie of the crowd. Sure, once the film’s audio was audible and folks’ humor quieted, the movie’s riveting themes appealed to the analysts’ post-film discussions, led by DEBRA LILLENFIELD. The next film is set for mid-March thanks to our film committee: JANE BLOOMGARDEN, KEN BARISH, and Kate Washton. Watch for an email. See you there!

JANE BLOOMGARDEN, WCSPP’s Associate Director for the Adult Psychotherapy Training program and former Assoc. Director of WCSPP’s Child/Adolescent Training program, shared a forum with WCSPP’s NANCY AUSTIN. Candidates and graduates alike gathered to hear Nancy’s overview of transgender literature with an emphasis on biologic determinism. Jane dovetailed this with her work entitled “A Delicate Transit Through the Life of a Late Adolescent/Young Adult: Transgender Identity Formation, Transference and Transformation,” a psychodynamic and family dynamic perspective. 

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VIEW. Did you miss WCSPP’s Transgender Identity Formation discussion (above)? Consider this: Voted Best First Documentary Award at the Turkish 46th Antalya Golden Orange Film Festival, Me and Nuri Bala, is a film on Esmeray – a transvestite feminist activist who shatters many categories on womanhood and manhood in Turkey. The film is a personal quest to understand her experience, what defines a certain gender- a body and a place one belongs to. From the streets of Istanbul to the eastern villages of Kars, the film takes us back and forth between the longing for belonging and the realties that shape our identities. Click here for learn more >>


Autumn Town Hall Gathering Couples Therapy Retrospective Wainwright House, Rye

Scientific Meeting Author Dr. Thomas Kohut’s Two Day Visit December 16 & 17, 2011

With the Couples Psychotherapy Training program enjoying its second year of academic rigor, recent graduates MICHAEL ALTSHULER and REBECCA CONKLING shared their experiences. The program’s directors RUTH GREER and JOHN TURTZ joined instructor ROSALIND COHEN in reflecting upon Michael's clinical paper. Susan Rigelhaupt of the audience called the event, “an illuminating and inspiring evening. Michael’s beautifully written and presented paper--and the work it represented--was very impressive. I appreciate the panel’s insights and the questions posed by the community. I enjoyed seeing such camaraderie of our newest training program.”

KEN BARISH and his committee continue to raise the heights of WCSPP events; this time with the two day visit of THOMAS KOHUT. Yes, the son of HEINZ KOHUT, whom Thomas spoke about to WCSPPers on Saturday morning. But, on the night before, Thomas’s own uniqueness delighted us. With traits of a gifted speaker, Dr. Kohut is both a history professor and a psychoanalyst. He has written on the psychology of the Holocaust and its reverberations in today’s lives. His book entitled A German Generation: An Experiential History of the Twentieth Century (New Directions in Narrative History) was released just this month. This follows his last book Wilhem II and the Germans: A Study in Leadership. Thomas’s remarks shared an intrinsic sound with WCSPP’s autumn conference How Race Matters (p. 25). So much so, that in a spacious room gone crowded, listeners pursued a lively, long discussion with many provocative questions, to which Dr. Kohut replied eloquently.  Stashing her notes into a deep coat pocket, one listener exclaimed, “Such a stimulating, engaging, congenial program!”  Prof. Thomas Kohut of Williams College

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

WCSPPEVENTS,CONTINUED

Academic Discourse Psychodynamic Therapy & DBT Wainwright House, Rye February 21, 2012 ELIZABETH STUNTZ , experienced as both an analyst and a clinician of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), met with candidates and community members for a discussion about how these two fields work well together. The title of her paper aptly sums up the evening’s discussion; the title is “Balancing Act: Openness Between Psychodynamic Therapy and DBT to Enrich Our Therapeutic Practice.” WCSPP’s list-serve often delivers emails by persons seeking clinicians with DBT experience. Liz’s remarks stimulated ideas, which such seekers would value learning. Indeed, how nice to have on staff, an analyst who does balance both! If you missed her talk, feel free to contact Liz directly: ecstuntz@aol.com

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Winter Town Hall Gathering “An Imperfect Death” Wainwright House, Rye February 28, 2012

Fireside Chats Various Topics Private Residence, Dobbs Ferry throughout the Year

For those who missed earlier opportunities to hear BOB KATZ’S courageous thoughts at our neighboring Manhattan-based institutes, this year’s winter “town hall” gathering gave the occasion to not only hear Bob share his paper “An Imperfect Death: Heidegger, Oedipus and Basescu” but to engage in exploring a typically feared phenomenon, even within clinical settings. Do we see how the failure to deal with death anxieties as existential givens diminishes how important one’s experiences of separateness and aloneness can be? One person muses, “I am only as alive as I am willing to know my aloneness--and death’s reality.”

ANDREA DEUTSCH’S leadership with WCSPP’s Fireside Chats is, well, on fire. It is equally inspiring and engaging to those smart enough to head over to her home on a given weeknight evening. Thanks to Andrea’s resourcefulness and her generosity as host, WCSPPers enjoy conversations with peers and authors. They foster collegiality and fresh ideas for their clinical practices. Read about some of these occasions on the next page >>


Fireside Chats continued from previous page

ANDREA DEUTSCH , pictured to the left, is WCSPP’s Fireside Chat chairperson. Thanks to her creativit and hospitality, WCSPPers are discovering professional and personal connection with peers and speakers such as these mentioned below. From WCSPP, ROB MULLER got summer guests thinking when he shared a paper he is writing, “The Referral Source as a Countertransferential Factor in Treatment.” Rob says, “In reflecting on my own experiences and interviewing other clinicians about theirs, in certain cases, the referral source becomes a factor influencing how the therapist approaches and intervenes with the patient. There can be a complicated matrix of relationships, real and fantasized, amongst the referral source, the therapist, and the patient. As if the consultation room wasn't crowded enough already?” In the fall, WCSPP Faculty STEWART CRANE shared his clinical work regarding the often overlooked but pervasive experience of sexually abused men. Stewart has written a clinical paper entitled “Walking the Tightrope: Balance and Dissociation in Psychotherapy with Sexually Abused Men.” His work is breaking ground in a direction not previously written throughly enough about in the psychoanalytic field. Despite media attention, we as clinicians miss tell-tale signs in male patients. Such men experience intense shame and can be severely flooded by affect, relying on dissociation to ward off the emotional intensity. Stewart adds, “While the therapist works to help the patient put into words what has been dissociated, it is inevitable that the therapist will have to contend with considerable psychic disequilibrium...Particular emphasis is on affect regulation in the patient and in the therapist.” In October, psychoanalyst/author GEORGE HAGMAN shared how the analyst’s creative process begets therapeutic change. The creative analyst must be open to experiencing anxiety, as he/she seeks to be responsive to the patient’s unique self-organization. Similar to a creative artist, the analyst’s self-experience encounters disruptions, and resolution of this self-state motivates the analyst’s most creative work. If you missed George’s Fireside Chat, check out his books: Aesthetic Experience: Beauty, Creativity and the Search for the Ideal (2005); his co-edited special issue of Psychoanalytic Inquiry “Creativity, Art and Psychoanalysis: Current Perspectives” (2006); and The Artist’s Mind: A Psychoanalytic Perspective on Creativity, Modern Art and Modern Artists (2010). In December, guests at Andrea’s home met STEVEN WEISBLATT, MD, for a discussion on sub-syndromal mood disorders and how these may impede dynamic and analytic treatments. Clinicians misdiagnose adults with full spectrum bipolar disorder nearly 70% of the time.  The rates for “soft bipolar” or “bipolar spectrum” are far higher. This high rate of misdiagnosis does not include the rate of mis-medication which is higher yet. Postresidency, Steven trained in analytic, family and group work. n

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

HOWRACEMATTERS November 19, 2011 Renaissance Westchester Hotel, White Plains NY

WCSPPANNUALCONFERENCE 24


What Race Does, Not What It Is. Notes from the recondite moments Words by Terry Klee, LCSW

Take 15 seconds to write down what it means to be “quite white.” These were the words of guest speaker Dr. Melanie Suchet. Notepads awaited the notations of every guest seated in the grand ballroom. Would any be like the others? The topic appeared obvious, but an unconscious remorse of privilege (perhaps, for most in attendance) enacted the most recondite themes of racialization. Leaning earnestly into his mic, keynote speaker Dr. Farhad Dalal stated, “What race does, not what it is, is the matter, and is known as the process of racialization.” To paraphrase WCSPP’s Dr. Annabella Bushra, the formal respondent to Drs. Sucher and Dalal, the harder that one pushes to build relevant self-awareness, the more one dissociates and disavows his/her role. Inasmuch, we fool ourselves that we are open to acknowledging the privilege of whiteness when we are, to the contrary, duplicitously defensive. The reluctance is an unwitting prejudice and discrimination; we defend against our whiteness being a social position that brings with it benefits. To be aware of our own participation invites recognition that our benefits and pleasures come from others’ less fortunate, hard lives. To dismantle such whiteness means dismantling such power; and we use language to evade the corresponding anxiety and guilt. We evade, for instance, a key function of racism: that “I” am a unique individual and “they, the other” arre faceless and replaceable. If we saw each individual’s face, would we have them live such hard lives on our behalf ? Remorse makes one painfully aware of what he/she has done to another individual. Our emotions for another become more and more alive, the more we individualize the other. n

Opposite Page: Committee Members from Left to Right: Keynote Speaker Melanie Suchet, PhD; Moderator Ruth Greer, PhD; Ken Barish, PhD; Respondent Annabella Bushra, PhD; Janet Shimer, LCSW; Chairperson Eric Mendelsohn, PhD; Michael Wald, PhD; Constance Haslett, PhD; and Keynote Speaker Farhad Dalal, PhD

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HOW RACE MATTERS: GUEST KEYNOTE SPEAKERS FARHAD DALAL, PHD, Supervisor and Training Group Analyst, Institute of Group Analysis, London; Formerly Assoc. Fellow, University of Hertfordshire Business School; Founding Memeber, South Devon Psychotherapy and Counseling Service; Organizational consultant and practicing psychotherapist. Author of Taking the Group Seriously (1998); Race, Colour and the Process of Racialization (2002), which explores the hatred of others and the roots of racism; and Thought Paralysis: The Virtues of Discriminiation (2011).

MELANIE SUCHET, PHD, Associate Editor, Psychoanalytic Dialogues and Contributing Editor, Studies in Gender and Sexuality; faculty, Stephen A. Mitchell Center for Relational Studies; and private practice, New York city. co-editor of Relational Psychoanalysis, Volume 3, dedicated to integrating political and social perspectives with psychoanalytic thinking.

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HOW WELL DO YOU REALIZE YOUR SELF? Unwitting Unconscious Racialization ✦ When was your first awareness of whiteness? ✦ When did you first witness another’s experience of whiteness? ✦ When were you proud of yours? ✦ When were you aware of friends of different groups? ✦ What are significant events in your life? Adapted from the questions shared within the conference’s afternoon break-out sessions.

Left to Right: Melanie Suchet, PhD, Keynote Speaker, with Annabella Bushra, PhD a Panelist Member

The Right Amount of Grit: A Thank You to All By Eric Mendelsohn, PhD, Chairperson, WCSPP Fall Conference

On behalf of the Conference Committee I would like to express my pleasure and gratitude to all whose contributions made yesterday's conference so exciting, challenging and engaging.    Our speakers, FARHAD DALAL, MELANIE SUCHET and ANNABELLA BUSHRA were present not only as experts and as participants in a conversation that opened to complex and difficult issues that are both hard to formulate and challenging to speak out loud.  They contributed to an atmosphere of generative questioning and useful destabilization, respectfully challenging notions of identity, institutional exclusivity and clinical receptivity.  They, in turn, felt stimulated and energized by an interchange that Farhad characterized as having “just the right amount of grit.”     I am also appreciative of the work contributed by Ari Kellner, Lori Gunn and Carlo Cardato who helped to facilitate the registration and access to Continuing Ed credits.  I am especially grateful to those who volunteered, and several who were drafted, to be group facilitators.  The groups, as was pointed out in our afternoon conversations, were lively and candid, often with a remarkable degree of connectedness engendered in a brief time.     Finally, I am grateful to the entire community.  We turned out in numbers to take on a topic that challenges us and engenders considerable discomfort, and we did so thoughtfully and respectfully.  Many have expressed the desire to build on the learning that took place yesterday and to apply what we have considered to the realms of outreach, curriculum and clinical supervision.  In this regard I want to thank the many who have written about their experience of this conference, both via the listserv and back channel. n

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THERE’SMORE At the autumn conference “How Race Matters,” WCSPP faculty member Mark Finn invited folks to take a look at the blog “Stuff White People Like (SWPL). The blog takes a satirical aim at North American "leftleaning, city-dwelling, white folk.” According to Wikipedia, the blog ”was created in January 2008 by a white Canadian, Christian Lander, a Los Angeles copywriter who grew up in Toronto and graduated from McGill University in Montreal. Lander co-authored the site with his Filipino Canadian friend Myles Valentin, after Valentin teased Lander for watching the HBO television series The Wire. Lander's blog became popular very quickly, registering over 300,000 daily hits and over 40 million total hits by the end of September 2008.” 1 Although the blog "has spurred an outpouring from those who view it as offensive and racist," it is not about the interests of all white people, but rather a stereotype of affluent, environmentally and socially conscious, anti-corporate white North Americans, who typically hold a degree in the liberal arts.” Click here to visit the website >> http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/ (1) Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuff_White_People_Like

FIVE EVERYDAY RACIAL MICROAGGRESSIONS ❖ “Where are you from?” Message: You are not from here. ❖ When I look at you, I don’t see color. Message: Denying a person of color’s racial and ethnic experience. ❖ “I’m not racist. (I’ve several Black friends.)” Message: I am immune, and your racial oppression is non-existent. ❖ “You are so animated. Maybe it would help to calm down.” Or, “You are so quiet. We want to know what you think.” Message: Assimilate to the dominant culture ❖ Television shows and movies feature predominantly White people. Message: You do not exist.

Adapted from D.W. Sue et. al., Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Implication for Clinical Practice, American Psychologist, June 2007, p. 271

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

SAVETHEDATE 

Painting: Oil on canvas, “Unremitting” by David Newman, a WCSPP Faculty member and author of Talking to Doctors (Read about his book on page 33





Soon! Retreat 2012 “Poetry of Desire” !"#$%&''&"()*+,,-./0&12$3% March 30 - April 1st, Dolce in Norwalk Words by Chairperson Julie Willstatter, LCSW

!"#$%&#'()$&*$+#,-(#$ If Hegel, Freud, Klein, Bion and Lacan were philosophizing together in the library at Wainwright House, their conversation would surely touch upon that complicated subject called desire. Just as they did, we often encounter the emergence of unanticipated desires in our professional and personal lives. For example, we may notice the sudden disappearance of a desire once keenly felt and the sudden appearance, the famed lightning bolt, of unexpected desire. There may also be the emergence of frenzied desire, in which cravings for food, drugs, control of all sorts, eclipse much of life. To engage with our deepest desires is

an exhilarating and anxiety producing act and is one important way to reclaim a vital sense of aliveness. The Retreat Committee announces our guest speaker: Esther Perel, MA, LMFT who will speak on The Double Flame: Reconciling Intimacy and Sexuality. In six weeks (March 30 – April 1) at the Dolce Center in Norwalk, join other WCSPPers and Esther Perel, as she shares her bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex that shakes up traditional thinking about keeping desire alive in long-term relationships. Based on her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, we will

explore how love and desire relate, but also conflict. We will consider how the need for security and closeness can co-exist with our quest for separateness and freedom. We will tackle eroticism as a quality of aliveness and of vitality in relationships extending far beyond a repertoire of sexual techniques, frequency and performance. We will examine the cultural pressures that shape domesticated sex and investigate the puzzling inverse correlation between greater emotional intimacy and loss of sexual desire. Contrary to popular belief, sexual problems are not always the result of

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...Continued from previous page relational problems, and improving the emotional relationship may do little to improve the sex. We also will discuss common blocks to eroticism including the fear of abandonment or of entrapment; how our emotional history shapes our erotic blueprints and how to map the connections between partners’ attachment orientation and their sexual feelings and behaviors. Also addressed is the role of fantasy and imagination as well as sex after kids. Combining group discussion, clinical case examples, experiential exercises and video vignettes, we will probe the bonds and conflicts between love and desire, viewed from a multi-cultural perspective. This all draws on attachment and psychoanalytic theory as well as on family systems and body oriented approaches. The model applies to married and unmarried, heterosexual and same sex couples. We’ll see you at the Retreat as we explore facets of desire. Enrollment is in your email-box. n

ABOUT RETREAT KEYNOTE SPEAKER: Esther Perel, MA, LMFT is a master trainer, therapist, workshop leader and an acknowledged international authority on couples therapy, crosscultural relations, and the impact of culture on sexuality. Her international bestseller: "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence", won the 2009 book award from the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. She was trained and supervised by Dr. Salvador Minuchin and she served on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center, International Trauma Studies Program and The Ackerman Institute for the Family, as well as the Scandinavian Institute for Expressive Arts Therapy. You may order her book through Amazon, or visit her website: www.estherperel.com

RETREAT COMMITTEE. From left to right: Julie Willstatter, Nina Gershowitz, Lorraine Schorr, Suzanne Weisman and Steven Guggenheim; Absentia: Annabella Bushra, Jill Delaney, Mark Finn, Irene Studwell, Vivian Sklar, Vivian Linder, and Carol Mahlstedt, who took this photo

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012 32

WRITERSWORKS Courageous, rigorous, and often personal. The next pages reveal WCSPP authorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; written art.


UNDERSTANDING AND TREATING DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER: A RELATIONAL APPROACH (2011) by ELIZABETH HOWELL. Philip Bromberg writes, “Howell’s inspiring range of scholarship and clinical perceptiveness is so deeply embedded in her wisdom, that I strongly anticipate this being an invaluable resource for all mental health practitioners of all orientations.” Building on the theoretical model of dissociation elegantly developed in Howell’s The Dissociative Mind, Howell exl;icates a multifaceted approach to the treatment of a fascinating yet often misunderstood condition. Her work embraces relational psychoanalysis, neuorscience, attachment theories as well as trauma theories, too. WCSPP members have opportunities to take Elizabeth’s new course for clinicians regarding the treatment of dissociative disorders, sponsored by The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, this February. It is a 22-1/2 hour course that is half didactic and half readings. Classes will be on Saturdays for 3-1/4 hours. More information about it can be found at ISST-D.org, and click on Training. We can also join Elizabeth in a less time-consuming reading course on dissociation, which will meet either Tues. or Wed. a.m. for an hour or an hour and fifteen minutes. Inquire: efhowell1@earthlink.net TALKING WITH DOCTORS (2011) by DAVID NEWMAN. In 1999, David Newman, a WCSPP faculty member and supervisor, learned he had a rare and life-threatening tumor at the base of his skull. He consulted with leading physicians at four major medical centers; the doctors offered drastically differing opinions. This led David to author the book Talking with Doctors (2005). Then, in November 2008, Newman faced a remarkably similar situation again: tumor recurrence. Keynote Books published an expanded version of David’s first edition. In a new epilogue “Recurrence: Keeping the Howling Dogs at Bay,” David shares his most recent experiences. He reveals how patients and doctors personally affect each other routinely; collaboration can be created or lost. David also explains the principles and behaviors of a mutual valuing of inquiry and a commitment to communication. David shares: “It is the doctor's responsibility to make compassionate use of the authority with which he is invested in a way that recognizes the distinctness of the patient as much as possible, in a way that affirms the patient.” And from his book: “I do believe in such a thing as cumulative experience, cumulative consciousness. In some realms, to some degree, knowledge does add up. Cultivating multiple points of view can make each one less coercive, but it is still the case that some maps are better than others, and that one may move from confusion to a temporary and contingent sense of mastery. Sometimes, of course, more knowledge simply does not matter, a more refined understanding is of no avail.” This quote is in the Epilogue of the paperback, expanded edition Talking With Doctors (2011, Keynote Books).

THE SHADOW OF THE TSUNAMI and the Growth of the Relational Mind by Philip

.

Bromberg with a foreword by Allan Schore (2011) In his fascinating third book, PHILIP BROMBERG deepens his inquiry into the nature of what is therapeutic about the therapeutic relationship: its capacity to move the psychoanalytic process along a path that, bit by bit, shrinks a patient's vulnerability to the pursuing shadow of affective destabilization while simultaneously increasing intersubjectivity. What takes places along this path does not happen because "this" led to "that," but because the path is its own destination – a joint achievement that underlies what is termed in the subtitle "the growth of the relational mind.” Expanding the self-state perspective of Standing in the Spaces (1998) and Awakening the Dreamer (2006), Bromberg explores what he holds to be the two nonlinear but interlocking rewards of successful treatment – healing and growth. The psychoanalytic relationship is illuminated not as a medium for treating an illness but as an opportunity for two human beings to live together in the affectively enacted shadow of the past, allowing it to be cognitively symbolized by new co-created experience that is processed by thought and language – freeing the patient's natural capacity to feel trust and joy as part of an enduring regulatory stability that permits life to be lived with creativity, love, interpersonal spontaneity, and a greater sense of meaning. Retrieved, Jan 24: http://www.routledgementalhealth.com/the-shadow-ofthe-tsunami-9780415886949

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

WCSPP authors’ written art, continued

Photo: A pier reaching into the Black Sea near Crimea, Ukraine, taken by Alexandr Smushko of Kharkov, Kharkovskaya

“The not-me and the loving self” Eric Mendelsohn, PhD, a faculty member and supervisor of psychoanalysis not only at WCSPP but also at Adelphi University, the National Institute for the Psychotherapies, and Yeshiva University, realized the publication of his vulnerable clinical story entitled “The not-me and the loving self” (2011) in Psychoanalytic Perspectives, 8: 62-71. This short excerpt does not do justice to the eloquence of the full paper. This is because it's a clinical story, short on theory. Instead, when read in its entirety, it explores Eric’s experience with his patient Michael during the time of Eric’s daughter Anna's illness and death. We encourage you to read the full story via WCSPP members’ PEPWeb access. Meanwhile, with Eric’s generosity, InTouch offers the paper’s final words here:

“Analytic therapy sponsors and considers the interpenetration of the lives of patient and therapist. While the work is for the patient, it is of the dyad.  At the time of my work with Michael, the loving and the grief at the center of my experience were facilitative and burdensome presences for Michael.  In writing this paper now, I can recall and feel my gratitude to Michael and my other patients for sharing and recognizing my love for Anna and for bearing witness to my sense of loss.  The continuing importance of collaboration and mutual recognition informs this writing.  Periodically, I continue to immerse myself in memories of that time and need to speak Anna's name out loud.” n

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POETICSOLACE GERALD J. GARGIULO, PH.D., FIPA, recently joined WCSPP’s analytic community bringing with him tender wisdom. Warmed by this, InTouch requested his permission to share with readers some of his recently published poetry. You may enjoy ten of his poems in the newly released book Between Hours (Karnac, 2012) edited by Dr. Salman Akhtar. Thank you, Jerry, for further enhancing WCSPP’s hallmark esprit de corps.

FRIDAY NIGHT

SOLITARY

DEATH IN THE OPEN

Death came last night in a phone call An old man died On time.

Are we not all found by time. When lilacs fall, do we not grieve. 

Chartres, I am convinced, is so silent So still Because it holds, As a grieving mother does, The prayers of all those centuries.

Do not talk to me Of love for god The comforter of pain and look appalled, when I don't understand. My father let me know that he was leaving with just a grasp of hand. Unburdened by future dreams amidst bedpans and IV's he grieved the love he had not given; and I was shriven. 

Silent Lady of the plain When I saw you I knew First view was but a memory And I have come to tell you, I have lost a friend, And forgotten  How to pray. 

A grey mourning dove Pecks quietly, Out of sight.  Tears gone, I ponder the night. 

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Members’ Publications, continued from previous page Athena Unbound is written by CAROL KEMELGOR, LCSW, a WCSPP trained psychoanalyst, wrote Athena Unbound in collaboration with Henry Etzkowitz more than one decade ago, and it’s necessity in academic and mental health circles still calls out and continues to be cited. Her research is being published again, only this time, in the Journal of International Affairs, by Columbia University School of International and Public Affairs. Fall/Winter 2010, Vol. 64, Number 1 and then also in The Handbook of Science and Technology Studies by the M.I.T. Press. Accordingly, InTouch asked Carol to share her experience with our community. Carol remarks, “In doing the research for this book, I spent five years on the campuses of our premier research universities where I learned the language of the hard sciences and its inner workings.  I sat with women who revealed, many for the first time, their feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety within hostile labs and departments.  Ironically, during this journey I also learned the importance of the location of the women's bathrooms in large, sprawling, multi-storied buildings.  The number of bathrooms  (often just one) came to represent the devalued experience of the women I would meet.  It was a privilege to know them and to hear their very private stories.  In an endeavor that demands relationships, interactions and connection, a majority of these women were flying solo at great expense to their sense of self. Excerpt from Athena - Ph.D. Candidates: Women Ph.D. candidates are frequently mystified and sometimes struggle with guilt as to why they feel unable to enjoy the psychological freedom to assert themselves and take similar risks to their male counterparts.  However, to enjoy such freedom requires connective tissue in which two needs are met: 'the striving for autonomy in which selforganizing, self-enhancing and self determining needs may be freely sought, and the striving for harmony which is the need to relate to and feel a part of a larger whole' (Ullman, 1992)...Isolated and without interpersonal connection, a woman's ability to be playfully creative is impeded....With no support or connection with an advisor or peers, taking risks in the lab becomes too threatening.  As a Ph.D. candidate in physics shared, “If I go to conferences and ask a question, the answer gets addressed to a man in the

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“I found Athena Unbound so gripping that I read it in one sitting. I expect that many women scientists, and their families, will find that it articulates as a general problem issues they have encountered in their own careers.” American Scientist Sept-Oct 2001

room. It's a thing of being invisible, you don't exist...I didn't exist.” Male students and staff may appear to be singularly work-directed and function autonomously.  They are, in fact, highly connected, whether in the laboratory, in study groups, at conferences, on the basketball court, or in a bar with their advisor.  Male students receive a form of mentoring by advisors who look like themselves.  Even when optimal advisor support is not available, interactions among male peers and senior associates provides sufficient connection....to shore up self-confidence.  Without collegial interactions, women's ability to be playfully creative is impeded.   This suggests the replacement of the notion of autonomy as a developmental construct and a scientific way of being, by mutual, reciprocal relationships.  The traits equally valued by all graduate students and post docs emphasize the relational capacities of the Principal Investigator. Such advisors serve as Kohut's 'self-object,' performing a function up to a point, but then gradually withdrawing in just sufficient amounts until the student executes the function, or part of it, in his or her own way.  As part of this group culture, other members can assume the selfobject role in lieu of the advisor.  One student in such a lab stated, 'When I look back now at the kinds of questions I was asking then, I'll never know how he didn't just laugh in my face.  But he never did.  Because of that I left knowing my science." In contrast, a woman who left her chemistry Ph.D. program in her third year shared: "There was no feedback on how I was doing, no pat on the back for what I had done. No feeling I could knock on the door to initiate that kind of conversation and constantly living with the sexist joke telling.  It was a complete blow to my self esteem for the first time in my life...I always felt successful.  Then I came here and I couldn't survive." n


INTOUCHASKS... What's the best local place to eat?

Juniper in Hastings...for lunch, roasted squash and goat cheese sandwich with whole grain bread. Fabulous! Buffet de la Gare in Hastings...two soups: wild mushroom and pumpkin X2O...butterscotch pudding Eastchester Fish Gourmet...peeky toe crab appetizer Eastchester Fish Gourmet (yes, by another WCSPPer)...tuna appetizer followed by the cavatelli with shrimp The Cookery in Dobbs Ferry...it riffs on italian food in the best of ways and it’s casual, too DayBoat in Irvington..whole menu is great, very good food/ambiance Red Hat in Irvington...all’s excellent.  Tomatillo in Dobbs Ferry...healthy fresh Mexican at very good prices  Harvest on Hudson in Hastings...Favorite date night with hubby is sitting at the bar sharing the porterhouse steak for two and some red wine! The Golden Rod in New Rochelle on Route 1...love the Malaysian Red Curry. It's a spicy dish, served sizzling, with a rich aroma.  And the prices at Golden Rod are really reasonable. Roger Sherman Inn in New Canaan ...Sunday nights at the piano bar makes the burgers a romantic meal Moderne Barn in Armonk, right off I-684...the steak! but my wife says the pear martinis

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

OUTINTHECOMMUNITY

When not in our chairs, we’re with dogs... Compiled by Terry Klee, LCSW

InTouch asked WCSPP, “When you’re not Maryalice Qui Qui Balascio, LCSW, CEAP, SAP:

“I enrich myself and hopefully others by volunteering at Pets Alive Westchester (PAW). For and/or others? After all, we are more than information on PAW, you can check out their website at http://petsalivewest.org/  In addition to walking therapists. We are persons discovering and loving PAW’s dogs, I also participate in their verve, respite, meaningfulness. (And, in train-to-adopt program, help with administrative this round of InTouch’s inquiry, we’re often tasks, and teach their volunteer orientation. Being with the dogs at PAW is a huge stress reliever. It with dogs and music.) brings so much joy to my life.”

in your chair, how do you enrich yourself

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Michaelann A. Cox, Psy. D.: “My husband and I are very involved in our church, the Ridgeway Alliance Church in White Plains It’s a wonderful community. I am the Coordinator for the Welcome Ministry, and my husband is involved in church administration & teaching.  This connection results in a number of other activities. My big hobby is dog showing and dog agility with Pembroke Welsh Corgis (pictured, right). This Welsh corgis of mine is also a registered therapy dog whom I take to the local hospital, and have worked with autistic children, etc. It’s definitely another world from psycho-analysis. People who are interested can check out the AKC (American Kennel Club website, and Therapy Dogs International).  You don't have to be a "professional" to get into this sport!  There is a world of activities you can do with your dog, and dog people are great people! If not this, a smaller hobby that I enjoy is professional Christmas Caroling in Connecticut with the jazz musician, Chris Coogan.”

Vicki Ehrlich, PsyD: To InTouch’s inaugural question “When you’re not in your chair, how do you enrich yourself and/or others?” Vicki shares: “Great question! Wonderful friends, colleagues, family, reading the New Yorker and New York Times, a great book group, peer supervision and nice colleagues, NYC with its great museums and theater, running and tennis, being outdoors in general, and of course, a great therapist!”

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

...Out In Community, continued from previous page Sheri Gold, LCSW: “...staying 'in touch' with kids, grandkids, friends....takes priority over everything else....long walks in the woods with my ninety-seven pound Bernese Mountain dog (pictured, left)....taking painting classes when WCSPP classes end....cooking, sharing in exercise classes as often as two or three times a week, going to movies, the theater...” Steve Guggenheim, PhD: “Here's my stress-reduction technique: My wife and I exercise on our basement work-out equipment for half an hour each morning. The trick to get us motivated is Netflix: we watch movies or TV shows in half-hour installments.  They make the time pass easily, and we look forward to seeing the next segment on the following day.  It's a nice way to start the day together.” Martin Mintz, PhD: “A delightful Sunday afternoon of Chamber Music Concert to benefit the research funding of the ‘Parkinson's Disease Foundation’” Glenn Wolff, LCSW: “I was recently appointed to the Board of Trustees of Greenwich Reform Synagogue in Greenwich, CT and I am Chairperson of the Synagogue's Education Committee. Under the instruction of Rabbi Andrew Sklarz, I am (re)learning how to read, write, and speak Hebrew.  At my kids' school, The International School at Dundee (ISD), a participating school in The International Baccalaureate Program, in Greenwich, I am co-chairing the Classical Cafe Committee. Classical Cafe is a monthly program where musicians from the tri-state area come into school during lunch periods to perform for the students.  The music reflects the particular country that students are studying that month. We have had musicians from India, Hungary, and Ireland so far this school year.  Parents are invited to attend and the kids have such fun!”

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When not in your chair... and how one WCSPP mentor inspired another By Angelica Smith, LCSW When I’m not “in my chair” (and not doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc., or visiting family in New Hampshire), I take ballet classes, six days a week. Actually, it was our own Helen Golden who suggested it to me some 10 years ago. As a child, I had wanted more than anything in the world to become a ballerina, but in those days, before Nureyev defected and ballet dancers became celebrities, ballerinas were considered, at least in the circles in which I grew up, to be “lower class,” for want of a better term. So the only ballet classes I was allowed to take as a child were with a tap dancer around the corner as an “enrichment” experience, to become an educated member of the audience. I danced on and off for several years, but then gave it up altogether for 37 years, while I raised a family. When Helen suggested I might go back to it again, my response was that no one dances ballet after the age of 50. Helen tried to enlighten me, she told me that wasn’t at all the case, but I guess I wasn’t ready to hear it then. A few years later, I joined the WCSPP group “Into the Margins,” a group which used to meet every six weeks to focus on what we therapists were doing in the “margins” of our lives, the times during which we were not “in our chairs.” Members spoke about their creative pursuits, writing, painting, and other artistic endeavors, and one day, with the “permission” the group instilled in me to do something for myself, I walked into Broadway Training Center, a creative arts organization in Hastings that focuses mostly on acting but has classes in other arts as well, and asked whether they had any ballet classes for adults. They did, once a week, and I signed up. The classes met on Thursday nights from 7:30 – 9:00, and afterwards I found myself waltzing down the street to my car, singing music from Les Sylphides. Soon I was hungry for more. I found a school on Central Avenue called Central Park Dance, which offers an extensive ballet program for adults, and I began taking more and more classes. Then I got a stress fracture of a metatarsal bone. Six weeks in a surgical shoe and no dancing. I learned that bones adjust to the demands made on them, and that it’s important to work up gradually. And so when I went back to class I was more careful. I didn’t do 32 changements (a jump in which you change feet in the air) right away, I did 8, then 16, and worked up to more. These days I take classes at various studios in Lower Westchester. Christian Claessens teaches amazing intermediate ballet classes at Scarsdale Ballet Studio as well as the Steffi Nossen School in White Plains. Central Park Dance, Dance Cavise, and the JCC in Scarsdale also have ballet classes for adults.

“When Helen Golden suggested I might go back to it again, my response was that no one dances ballet after the age of 50.” Angelica Smith, LCSW

It turns out that there is a large contingent of adults 40 years old and up (and up!), some who have danced all their lives, sometimes professionally, and don’t want to give it up; others who gave it up for decades, as I did, but who have gone back to it; and others who actually started beginning ballet classes as adults. It’s the best thing I do for myself as well as for my patients. I have regained much of my agility and feel better about myself, have enormous fun when I “get” a combination, and can give more to my patients because I myself am emotionally nourished. In addition, it has given me a perspective on life to take into my later years: I do not dwell on the things I can no longer do (e.g., I can no longer suspend in the air in a grand jete, a jump where you do a split in the air) but instead I focus on the things I can still do (like those 32 changements). I go to ballet performances frequently; follow an amazing dance blogger (just google Haglund’s Heel); watch ballet videos; and just had the special treat of having my sixyear-old granddaughter take a class with me. Her father asked her whether it was like her own ballet class. “No,” she said, “it was different.” “In what way was it different?” “It was longer and more complicated, but it was fun.” Talk about a dream come true….. n

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012


Members’ Endeavors From new office openings to meditation classes to clinical publications, WCSPP’s members inspire one another.

NANCY AUSTIN, PsyD, a WCSPP-trained psychoanalyst, shared a forum with WCSPP’s Associate Director of Adult Psychotherapy training program, Dr. Jane Bloomgarden at the close of WCSPP’s first academic trimester. Nancy presented an overview of transgender literature with an emphasis on biologic determinism. nbaustin@earthlink.net KEN BARISH, PhD, author of Emotions in Child Psychotherapy: An Integrative Framework (2009), a faculty and supervisor for both WCSPP and the William Alanson White Institute, plus chairperson of WCSPP’s scientific meetings such as those highlighted on pages 17 and 23, received confirmation from Oxford University Press that his book manuscript will be published in May of this year. The book is entitled Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems. kbarish280@aol.com JANE BLOOMGARDEN, PhD, WCSPP’s Associate Director for the Adult Psychotherapy Training program, former Associate Director of WCSPP’s Child/Adolescent program, and supervisor at both WCSPP and the Ferkauf Graduate Center of Yeshiva University, shared a forum with WCSPP’s Dr. Nancy Austin at the end of WCSPP’s first academic semester. With candidates and graduates alike gathered at the Wainwright, Jane presented her work entitled “A Delicate Transit Through the Life of a Late Adolescent/Young Adult: Transgender Identity Formation; Transference; and Transformation,” which offers both a psychodynamic and family dynamic perspective.  Nancy presented an overview of transgender literature with an emphasis on biologic determinism. jwillbloom@aol.com CARLO CODATO, LCSW, a WCSPP graduate of the adult psychotherapy program, leads a monthly meditation class at Stamford’s Dew Yoga. Because Carlo focuses on meditation instruction, the group is accessible to beginners as well as to experienced meditators. To learn more or for directions, click here >> The website asks you to register for the class, but there's no need to do that - just show up! carlo.mela@snet.net

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Members’ Endeavors, continued from previous page STEWART CRANE, LCSW-R, psychoanalyst, WCSPP supervising faculty, former WCSPP retreat committee chairperson, as well as teaching and supervising faculty of the Postgraduate Center for Mental Health in Manhattan and the President-Elect for the Postgraduate Psychoanalytic Society, was invited by the Rockland County Chapter, NY State Society of Clinical Social Workers, to share his clinical presentation entitled “Walking the Tightrope: Balance and Dissociation in Psychotherapy with Sexually Abused Men” at St. Thomas Aquinas College, October 6th. Likewise, several WCSPP members benefitted from his WCSPP Fireside Chat at Andrea Deutsch’s lovely home, October 27. smcrane716@aol.com GERALD J. GARGIULO, PH.D., FIPA, an analyst with a rich background of British training recently joined WCSPP and what an interesting array of talents he shares with us. He was recently appointed to a three-person committee in charge of book reviews for The Psychoanalytic Review, and his article “Transcending Religion,” which first appeared in The Annual of Psychoanalysis (2007/2008), is now being translated into Slovene, a South Slavic language spoken by approximately 2.5 million speakers worldwide. The Candidate Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association invited Jerry to write reflections on two evocative quotes: one by Bion and one by Loewald. His resulting article is entitled “Finding a Way.” We can access this by going to #96 on Jerry’s website, under “Articles & Reviews.” Click here >> www.DrGargiulo.com. Lastly, ten of Jerry’s poems are in Dr. Salman Akhtar’s most recently edited book entitled Between Hours (Karnac, 2012). Enjoy a few of these on page 35. Along with his Stamford-based office, we can find Jerry at his newly leased New York City address too: 110 East 71st Street. Welcome aboard WCSPP, Jerry! Email: JerryGargiulo@Gmail.Com KATIE HALL, LCSW-R, a long-time member of WCSPP as a psychoanalyst and chairperson of our Events Committee as well as a 2011 grad of WCPP's Supervisory Training Program, and Secretary of the Psychoanalytic Association, has accepted ICP's invitation to join their four-year analytic training program’s committee. In 2010, Katie had been named an ICP supervisor, for both the two-year psychotherapy program and the four-year analytic training program.. Congratulations, Katie! dzruis@aol.com BILL HARTMAN, PHD, a WCSPP psychoanalyst and faculty member, has an article in print to be published in Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 2012, 1: 27- 34. The title of the paper is "But I Could Hurt Someone...A Commentary on Michael Shoshani's Dare to be Human.” willhart3@gmail.com ELIZABETH HOWELL, PhD, a WCSPP trained psychoanalyst, traumatologist, Associate Editor of the Journal of Trauma and Dissociation, Co-Director of the Dissociative Disorders Psychotherapy Training Program of the International Society for the Study of Dissociation, Adjunct Associate Professor in NYU’s psychology department, Faculty, Trauma Program of the National Institute for the Psychotherapies (NIP), Honorary Member, William Alanson White Psychoanalytic Society, author of The Dissociative Mind (Analytic Press, 2005) and former keynote speaker of WCSPP’s 2007 retreat on that very subject, has published a new book, Understanding and Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Relational Approach. The book explicates a multifaceted approach to the treatment of an often misunderstood condition, DID. See page 33 to read critical reviews by Philip Bromberg, PhD, and others. This book follows her other more recent work “Dissociation and dissociative disorders: Commentary and context” in Knowing, Not-Knowing and SortOf-Knowing: Psychoanalysis and the Experience of Uncertainty. edited by Jean Petrucelli. London: Karnac, pp. 213-249. efhowell1@earthlink.net

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Members’ Endeavors, continued from previous page ARI KELLNER, PSYD, a WCSPP trained psychoanalyst with a northern Westchester family practice, responded to last year’s Cross River murder/suicide by initiating a group for parents and their families who were directly impacted. See page 53 to read Ari’s written guidelines for cultivating a proper attitude rather than exacting the “right thing” to say. arikellner@gmail.com TERRY KLEE, LCSW, a graduate of WCSPP’s Adult Psychotherapy Training program, current candidate in WCSPP’s Couples Counseling program, and WCSPP editor/designer of InTouch, accepted an invitation by the Association of Women in Psychology (AWP) to review and select proposed research presentations for the upcoming annual 2012 meeting in Palm Springs. This led to a nomination to do a similar task for the APA’s Division 35 at the annual APA meeting. Terry encourages InTouch readers to notice that this all sprang from her WCSPP mentors’ encouragement for her to present at WCSPP’s 2010 retreat and subsequently the 36th annual AWP meeting in Philadelphia, 2011. So, if there’s a writer inside of you, begin amidst WCSPP. tak2108@columbia.edu JUDITH LEVY, PhD, a faculty member and supervisor of WCSPP, MIP, and ICP; a Training and Supervising Analyst at Contemporary Freudian Society (formerly NYFS), announced the start of two 10session groups for women who want to overcome or regulate anxiety/shame issues in business and life. Judith was also quoted in a Psychology Today blog called “Rethinking Psychology” by Eric Maisel, PhD; Judith’s piece therein is entitled, “Meaning Making in Psychoanalytic Theory and Practice.” Judith writes: “...psychoanalytic theory and practice centers itself around how and why various aspects of life are construed as meaningful or become denuded of meaning, how meaning develops, what purpose it serves, how we can create and cultivate meaning, and what stops us from doing so.” Click here to check it out >> PHIL MANISCALO, PsyD, a faculty member and supervisor of WCSPP and of the Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology, Yeshiva University, will be sharing his knowledge and clinical skill well-known by those in WCSPP’s child and adolescent program with this year’s Adult Psychotherapy Training candidates; his spring course is entitled “The Therapeutic Relationship.” dr.maniscalco@yahoo.com ERIC MENDELSOHN, PHD, a faculty member and supervisor for postgraduate programs in psychoanalysis at Adelphi University, the National Institute for the Psychotherapies (NIP), Yeshiva University, and our Westchester Center (WCSPP), published an article entitled “The not-me and the loving self ” published in 2011 in Psychoanalytic Perspectives, 8: 62-71. He also will be presenting a paper tentatively entitled “Loneliness and the training analyst” for the Symposium 2012 Conference at Mt. Sinai Hospital on March 24, 2012. Until then, we can find Eric teaching case seminars throughout this January at the National Training Program of NIP, and again in May at the Michigan Psychoanalytic Institute. Check out page 34 to also celebrate Eric’s contributions to WCSPP as chair of our recent daylong conference on race.   moranplace@aol.com JOHN TURTZ, PhD, current director of WCSPP’s Couples Counseling Program, former director of WCSPP’s Adult Psychotherapy Training Program, Supervisor at WCSPP, has been elected co-director of the Manhattan Institute for Psychoanalysis, starting in July of this year. jstmd@aol.com

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

Members’ Endeavors, continued from previous page GLENN WOLFF, LCSW, a WCSPP graduate of the Adult Psychotherapy training program, announces the opening of his new office at 666 Glenbrook Road in the Glenbrook area of Stamford. This occurs in tandem with Glenn having facilitated a workshop entitled, “I Don't Know How HE Does It: The Modern Dad” for the Stamford JCC in January this year. Due to the larger office, Glenn is expanding his therapeutic groups for children and adolescents to include Social Skills for Boys, ages 8 to 11; Middle School Boys; Children of Divorce; Co-ed Teen Support Group; Anger Management for Teen Boys. Groups for adults include New Fathers Support Group; Men's Support Group; Parents of Teens Support Group; Adult Process Group; and Pet Loss & Bereavement.  Glenn is now blogging for Patch Newspapers, a national network of online newspapers; the blog focuses on parenting and family issues. Glenn's blog can be found at http://greenwich.patch.com/users/glenn-wolff-lcsw/blog_posts. JANET ZUCKERMAN, PhD, a WCSPP Faculty and Supervisor, a Derner Institute Adelphi University supervisor, Ferkauf School of Yeshiva University supervisor, as well as Faculty and supervisor of Center for Preventive Psychiatry, completed a manuscript submission to Contemporary Psychoanalysis entitled "Look Who's Talking! Raising the Volume on Women's Expression, Assertion and Ambition.” This follows her published work "Lateness, Enactment and Recognition" in Psychoanalytic Psychology, Advance On-line  Publication: doi: 10.1037/a0023609. janetzuckerman@gmail.com

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WCSPPGRADUATES Psychoanalytic Training, Four Years Nicholas Singman Randye Zerman

Adult Psychotherapy Training, Two Years Lori S. Gunn Georgette Claudia Law* Lois Mergentime

Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy Training, Two Years Debra S. Lilienfeld* Carol H. Sampson

Couples Psychotherapy Training, One Year Michael S. Altshuler Roni Bernstein Rebecca B. Conkling Nancy J. Eisner John Isaac Gerson Stacey A. Ochs* Lorraine Sara Schorr* Isaac Shamah

Supervisory Training, One Year Ann S. Crane* Randi Roth* Sandra Schoeneman*

*Asterisks denote graduates with more than one WCSPP programâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s certification. In short, they keep coming back for more.

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

WCSPPCANDIDATES2011 Look who’s gathering every Tuesday evening Judith Adamo

Suzanne Gabriele

Diane Malkin

Bradley Altman

Sheri Gold

Myra Marcus

Wade Anderson

Lori Gunn

Deborah Melincoff

Maryalice Balascio

Michael Keeney

Stacey Ochs*

Janet Bertoldi

Terry Klee*

Tai Pimputkar

Erica Brown-Campbell

Meryle Kreuter

David Rabinowitz

Chaim “Emi” Bromberg

Georgette Law*

Susan Rigelhaupt

Suzanne Burger

Andrew Levine

Cheryl Rothberg

Debra Lillenfield*

Susan Schwartz

Victoria Londin

Ramona Segreti

Mellen Lovrin

Celine Stillman

Paula McFarlane

Aracelis Turino

Heather McKee

Susan Weingarten

Kathleen Malone*

Susan Weiss*

Natalie Cervantes-Libassi Andrea Deutsch Vicki Ehrlich Anne Ernest Geri Friedman* Emilce Garces

*Asterisk denote students returning after completing other WCSPP training programs. Back for more!

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What’s with the honey? See Editor’s Letter, p. 2, because WCSPP waggles. (Yes, “waggles”) 49


WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

InTouch asks candidates:

What are you up to? besides studying, taking in supervision, catching up with your class and meeting with your own analyst

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VIEWING Breaking Bad (“Totally hooked. Best t.v. I’ve ever seen!!!!!”) on AMC Living In The Material World, Martin Scorsese's documentary about George Harrison Treme, an HBO series about New Orleans Person of Interest on CBS Modern Family on ABC

OUTINGS de Kooning Retrospective at MOMA Infinite Jest at the Metropolitan Museum of Art John Malkovich: The Infernal Comedy at Quick Center South Shore Symphony & Pianist Karen Baer, The Madison Theater Private Lives at the Music Box Theater Cecil Beaton: The New York Years at Museum of the City of NY

BOOKS The Sense of an Ending, by Julian Barnes Conversations with Michael Eigen, by Michael Eigen & Aner Govrin To the End of the Land, by David Grossman American Rust, by Philipp Meyer Geraldine Brooks’s books: Caleb's Crossing; March; and Year of the Plague Angle of Repose, by Wallace Stegner Let the Great World Spin, by Colum McCann The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lax, by Rebecca Skloot David Carr's 1498 The Omnivore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain Room, by Emma Donoghue. The NY Times book review is here >>

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012


Talking to Children about Traumatic Events How one WCSPP Analyst Reached Out to Those Nearest the Cross River Family Murder/Paternal Suicide. By Ari Kellner, PsyD

In late October 2011, a Northern Westchester father violently murdered his wife and two children, ages eight and ten; he then killed himself. WCSPP’s Ari Kellner, Psy.D., whose full-time private practice services the same community says, “In an attempt to deal with my own feelings of helplessness and pain, I put together some points on talking with children about this type of trauma.” InTouch shares Ari’s community outreach and written remarks, here. Talking to a child about death can be a difficult topic. Talking with children about murder and suicide can be one of the harder conversations a parent may have with their child. It is normal to feel uncomfortable. Everyone feels unprepared, uneasy, and anxious telling children about such sad, painful, and inconceivable events. As loving people, we want to protect our children from pain and confusion. As a parent, we often do not have the option to avoid talking about an event that will directly or indirectly impact them. This is another opportunity for your child to experience you as a source of guidance, support, and stability in their life. Children will often need to have multiple conversations about such difficult and overwhelming material. Therefore, it is more important to cultivate a proper attitude and approach to these topics rather than figuring out just the “right” thing to say. The following are some guidelines to help you think about what you might want to incorporate into your discussions. By no means does this cover everything and it should be used to inform your values and goals rather than replace them. “I KNOW I HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT THESE PEOPLE HAVE DIED, BUT SHOULD I TELL THEM THE TRUTH, THAT A FATHER COMMITTED MURDER AND SUICIDE?” Obviously, this is a difficult question and a very personal choice about how much to share with your child. Clearly, a child’s age should always be taken into account before deciding on what is appropriate to share. In an attempt to shield our children from the harsh truth of a situation we may over look the fact that

children often see and hear information from many other sources. These events have clearly been in the media, and possibly a topic of conversation for neighbors, relatives, and other children who come in contact with your child. It is often better to have your child hear this information from you directly. You are then better able to control and provide accurate information. Children can often perceive these events in a much scarier way than the truth itself. However, providing too much graphic detail can also be unhelpful. Ideally we want to strike a balance between honesty and thoughtful restraint. This can be a difficult task and is often helped by talking this over with someone else. It may be helpful in your decision making to think about the following; what does your child already know, whom they will come in contact with, what may they learn from others over the coming days and weeks, what type personality do they have? I believe that with some effort and support the Continues on next page...

What Children Need When Learning of Traumatic Events ‣

They want to know that their feelings are okay no matter what they are.

They want to feel loved and valued above all else.

They want to feel protected and reassured that no one else is leaving them or will die right now.

They want to know that nothing they do, say, or think can make this type of event happen.

They want to know that their routines and plans will be consistent and predictable (i.e. sports practice, going to school, bed time routines, ect.).

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

An analyst’s outreach, Continued from previous page truth can be discussed in a way that is open and honest, as well as protective and supportive. As you provide a model of openness and willingness to speak to your child about difficult topics they will learn to be open and honest with you. In addition, they are more prepared to handle conversations when others talk about these events. This leads to developing a more trusting relationship and open channel of communication with your child. “HOW SHOULD I APPROACH THIS CONVERSATION?” One of the first things to do is make sure YOU feel supported. By asking for help from family members, friends, clergy or mental health professionals you will be in a much better frame of mind to have this type of conversation. The second thing to keep in mind is to follow your child’s lead. This is more about creating a long-term open relationship than accomplishing a task. Keep in mind that children cannot process as much information as adults. This is especially true for young children who may be experiencing intense emotions during these conversations. By taking frequent breaks to check in with your child to see if they have questions and understand what they are being told you can pace the conversation in a manageable way.

“I know I have to tell them that these people have died, but should I tell them the truth, that a father committed murder and suicide?” Anonymous Parent

Give children opportunities to ask questions. Ask them what they would like to do after talking together. They may want to talk more, stay close to a relative, play, or get some emotional distance from the events. Follow the child’s lead. Observe their body language. Remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are no right or wrong feelings to have. All feelings or reactions are normal for them. Some children need to be involved and want a lot of information; other children may not want to be involved and want very little information. It is okay to ask them if they would like to talk about it more. Whenever possible, it is always best to be Ends on next page...

For an extensive examination of childhood trauma, WCSPP’s Director of WCSPP’s Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy Training Program Kate Washton recommends Listening to Fear, Helping Kids Cope, from Nightmares to the NIghtly News (2004) by Steven Marans PhD, of the National Center for Children Exposed to Violence at Yale University. Parents without professional mental health training may think the book is more psychoanalytic than advice-giving. However, trained clinicians will find that this book psychoanalytically explains human development within the purview of children’s severe trauma.

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An analyst’s outreach, Continued from previous page

a good listener and let them talk and ask questions. Do your best to be available to talk about what happened, and let them choose their own ways of coping and expressing grief. It also is okay to not know what to say or do. Be honest with children and say, “I don’t know.” Let them know that although you may not have answers to all of their questions right now, you will do your best to learn. To some questions, there are no clear answers. At these times, it may be helpful to search your own values and beliefs to help guide your discussion. It is very important to draw attention to the person’s life before the death. While their death was tragic, it is not who the person was to the child while they were alive. Talk about memories and what that person meant while they were alive, because this is what will be left for the child to remember in the years to come.

interests). It is common for children to retell what happened, or they may draw or play in ways that reenact traumatic events. This is often useful for children for expressing themselves and creating an opportunity for others to talk with them about their feelings. Look for opportunities for your child to talk with other people going through similar experiences. By helping your child and your family connect to others you can avoid common feelings of isolation that occur when traumatic events happen. Knowing that they (and you) are not alone can be one of the most healing gifts you can give your child, yourself, and others in the community. n Reference: “Talking to Children after a loved one has died from suicide,” Parents Trauma Resource Center Surviving Suicide, V19 N3, Fall 2007 American

“WHAT CAN I DO FOR MY CHILDREN OVER TIME, AFTER WE HAVE INITIALLY TALKED ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED?”

You have already begun to help your child for the future by initiating an open relationship with him or her right now. You also can encourage children to express their feelings through art, drawing, books, writing, and playing (depending on their age and

Dr. Ari Kellner is a clinical psychologist and certified psychoanalyst in Mount Kisco, who works with children, adults, and families. He is trained as a child and adolescent psychologist with a sub-specialty in working with trauma in both children and adults. (914) 242-2100, arikellner@gmail.com

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WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

A Members-Only Feature Article by David Schwartz, PhD

Oops. Your curiosity in this page is worthy of the missing article’s content. But, it’s not available to the general public. Parts of InTouch remain private to WCSPP membership. If you are a WCSPP member, enjoy the full extended versions of InTouch at your Members Resources page of wcspp.org. Not a member yet? Enroll in WCSPP’s training and share in the opportunities.

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Oops. Your curiosity in this page is worthy of the missing article’s content. But, it’s not available to the general public. Parts of InTouch remain private to WCSPP membership. If you are a WCSPP member, enjoy the full extended versions of InTouch at your Members Resources page of wcspp.org. Not a member yet? Enroll in WCSPP’s training and share in the opportunities.


WCSPPINTOUCH Fall-Winter 2012

HEARMOREHERE Hear about “Coming Out To The World” By Austin Considine Published: October 14, 2011 NY Times Photo: Randy Phillips, an airman recorded his experience of telling his parents.

Read it here >> In contrast to the article directly above, read “Living the Good Lie” By Mimi Swartz Published: June 16, 2011 NY Times Photo by John Gal Read it here >>

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Hear songwriter Vienna Teng’s tune “City Hall” on her album “Dreaming through the Noise” (2006) << Click here.

Check out songwriter Jill Sobule’s tune “Underdog Victorious” on her same-titled album (2004) << Click here.


STILLMORE The inception of WCSPP’s Couples Training Program brought with it WCSPP’s first annual couples therapy symposium last year. (Read full coverage of the event in last spring’s InTouch edition.) Inasmuch, Jane Bloomgarden, PhD, made it possible for the community to meet keynote speaker Laurie Abraham, ELLE magazine editor, critically noted author, contributor to The New York Times, and a recipient of the American Psychoanalytic Association’s Award For Excellence. (Those present will recall Jane crediting Abraham’s featured book The Husband and Wives Club as a solid resource about couples-counseling clinical theories.) Nevertheless, when asked what her next writing venture would be, Abraham replied, “sex education.” Well, it’s out. Click here to read the full article published as New York Times Magazine’s cover story, Teaching Good Sex: A frank fearless approach...” (November 20, 2011). >>

FLASHBACK: See “Still More,” above to see what followed WCSPP’s couples symposium for Laurie Abraham. From left to right: Ke ynote Speaker: Laurie Abraham D i s c u s s a n t s & Fa c u l t y : Bari Smelson-Kanwal, PhD Rosalind Cohen, LCSW Susan Flinn, PhD Photo taken at 2011 WCSPP Couples Psychotherapy Symposium

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SPOTWORTHWHILEHAPPENINGS Visit WCSPP’s events’ page. Click here >>

wcspp.org Now easier than ever on your phones & pads >> 60


C O M I N G March 16 at 7 p.m. WCSPP Film Night: “Still Walking” The New York Times writes, “This is life as it’s lived, not dreamed.  And this is a family bound not only by sorrow, but also by a shared history that emerges in 114 calibrated minutes and ends with a wallop.”  Directed by Kore-eda, the film Still Walking (2008) calls to mind the art of psychotherapy---how we think and listen. In viewing the film together, we will share a journey of profound connections and disruptions tethered in everyday living. We will witness the angst of missed opportunities and the wordless regret of lost intimacy and forgiveness. In particular, the film Still Walking (2008) is an exquisite glimpse inside a Japanese family’s three generations. Mired with loss and interactions, this family portrays an astonishing similarity to our seemingly different Western modern lives.  Discussion led by Jane Bloomgarden and Ken Barish Wine and cheese will be served. RSVP: Jane Bloomgarden, 914-472-8180 or jwillbloom@gmail.com Location: The Wainwright House, 260 Stuyvesant Ave, Rye NY 10580 WCSPP’s Psychoanalytic Association’s Film Committee:  Ken Barish, Jane Bloomgarden, Debra Lilienfeld, Kate Washton


In Touch: Celebrating WCSPP’s Community C i

WCSPPMISSION&HERITAGE Continued from previous page

2011’s Leadership Team

”Heritage,” Barbara Messer

As the for Association grew ofit became a The Westchester Center the Study clearinghouse for available peer groups. As the Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy (WCSPP) graduates became more experienced analysts the was founded inAssociation 1974 bytook a group of eminent on a new role; it advocated and psychoanalystslobbied who for shared pluralistic faculty a expansion of bothvision teachingof and so that would psychoanalyticsupervising training positions, that would begraduates provided have a chance to teach and supervise. This resulted in within a strong professional community. Today, graduates being notified of available positions before as a non-profit organization, WCSPP continues canvassing the larger professional community. its deep commitment to rigorous academic training for clinicians. haslarge The success of this thrust WCSPP is seen in the proportion of current faculty emerging from the developed new programs to meet the changing needs of mental health graduate pool: Helen Adler, Bill Behr, Judy Berenson, professionals along with a vital psychotherapy service for individuals in need of Elaine Bieber, Diane Caspe, Steve Eliot, Mark Finn, psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. Linda Fleischman, Linda Futterman, Ruth Greer, Bill

Director: Judith Berenson Adult Psychotherapy Program: Director: Suzanne Weisman Associate Director: Jane Bloomgarden Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy: Director: Kate Washton Associate Director: Elizabeth Stuntz Supervisory Training Program: Director: Linda Fleischman Couples Therapy Program Co-Directors: Ruth Greer and John Turtz Treatment Service

LaManna, Elsa Menaker, Edyie Mencher, Barbara

Associate Director: Carol Mahlstadt

Sharon

Picard,

James

Rembar,

Sylvia

Singer, Steve

Spitz, Liz Stuntz, John Turtz, Suzanne Weisman, Arnie

Zinman, and myself. >> WCSPP InTouch Spring-Summer 2011

Admissions: Director: Jane Kuniholm Associate Director: Janice Curran Marketing/Public Relations:

So I think that this gives you an overview of the first few years of the Association’s life, how it was conceived of as the graduate or alumni organization of

>> WCSPP InTouch 2009

Psychoanalytic Training:

Director: Angela LaManna

ARCHIVES Get former editions of InTouch here: Rosenblum, Gail Witkin Sasso, Dale

>> WCSPP InTouch 2010

WCSPP Director Steve Sptiz, PhD,

Hartman, Helen Hodys, Jane Kuniholm, Angela Pearson,

>> WCSPP InTouch Winter 2011

Winter Issue / January 2011

WCSPP, how it functioned to build and sustain a cohesive professional community which would meet both the continuing academic interests as well as the social and collegial needs of its members. !

Director: Michael Wald Associate Director: Janet Shimer Curriculum: Chair: James Rembar Faculty Appointments: Chair: William Behr Conference Committee: Chair: Eric Mendelsohn Event Planning:

ANDROID Users

Barbara Hyde Messer, LCSW msrmsw@optonline.net

InTouch can be easily read on your Android phones, find it at your app store by searching “issuu mobile”

Chair: Katherine Hall Sharon Picard Educational Planning: Chair: Eric Mendelsohn Treasurer: William Behr

iPad & iPhone Users To most easily read InTouch on your iPadwcspp.org or iPhone click the direct links above in the Archives listing. Please note it is not possible to read InTouch on your iPAD through WCSPP’s website yet. You need the direct links above.

STAFFINTOUCH

CONTACTINTOUCH

Terry Ann Klee, Editor & Designer Steven Guggenheim, Copy Editor WCSPP Community, Contributors

S U B M I S S I O N S : InTouch, a publication of WCSPP’s association and faculty, is for the exchange of clinical ideas as well as the celebration of our community. Issued seasonally, each edition recaps and invites the cultural engagement that is unique to WCSPP. Please share your essays, musings, insights, poetry, photos, media reviews, professional endeavors, milestones, and more. >> WCSPPInTouch@gmail.com

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E R R O R S ? We dislike the “oops” that inherently happen, despite our efforts to do well for all. Thus, the editors and guest contributors apologize for any miscues or omissions that may occur in this publication. Please contact us if you realize any; we want to know and make amends.


Proprietary License(s): The writings, photos, and illustrations in this newsletter cannot be re-used by any readers or parties. They are either (a) granted to WCSPP InTouch by iStock.com per a perpetual, nontransferable worldwide license, or (b) the property of various WCSPP contributors. Contact the WCSPP InTouch editor if you are seeking rights and permission of use. Visit wcspp.org

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WCSPP InTouch Winter 2012, Public Version  

WCSPP InTouch Winter 2012, Public Version

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