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DANGER! WEEK2

DLB NEWSLETTER

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PREDATOR PAPI?

The power is out for BIg Papi and the OEV Predator. We say it’s time to panic, on page 3.

photo credit to eurodana

POWER RANKINGS

AWARD UPDATE

MATCHUPS EXAMINED

The Ho Parks take the top spot, making an early bid to repeat. I’ve added current record to the PR formula, but no strength of schedule variable yet. Page 2

Ted, the owner of the Ho Parks lives in Boston, but would he rather see a game in the Bronx? See what the Clevelanders could be paying for inside. Page 3

I don’t have the time to revisit every team’s week, but I offer analysis of my game and I look ahead to the games next week and what’s at stake. Pages 3 and 4

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Rank (last week)

Team

Record

Comments

1(2)

Chan’s HP

8-2

Last year’s champ moves into the top spot for this season.

2 (14)

CavSox

7-2-1

Statement victory over the Predator equals huge PR jump.

3 (7)

RedBank Sox

7-3-0

Pat the Bat provides the runs/rbi, Wellemeyer a K machine.

4 (9)

Clippers

5-3-2

4 players hit 2 dingers each, pound bullyclub on offense.

5 (10)

GANGSTARS

5-3-2

Pujols is mad about being drafted 9th, out for revenge.

6 (1)

Doggyfizzle

5-3-0

Lots of offense, but big name pitchers perform poorly.

7 (6)

Rogue Trader

6-4-0

Pitching injuries appear to be a problem, 4 players on DL.

8 (13)

abbey roads

5-5-0

This team needs a closer, Chad Cordero can’t finish games.

9 (12)

Squerlz

5-5-0

Can’t beat the speedy Squerlz in steals, 12 thefts in week 1

10 (3)

bullyclub

3-5-2

Raul Ibanez is alone on this team, now they face CH Park

11 (5)

EARTH

4-6-0

Posted ERA of 7.71 for the week, buoyed by decent hitting

12 (16)

JJ

3-5-2

Dangerous week, did he make moves from maternity ward?

13 (11)

Red Legs

5-5-0

Not a bad record, but Harden & Willis should be on DL!

14 (8)

Lakedogs

3-7-0

Only mustered 1 win last week, but could climb against Cav

15 (4)

Predator

2-7-1

Did not get one hit from Big Papi, not even a single. Trouble!

16 (15)

Clevelanders

2-8-0

[2] This team needs love, Fielder and Sheff need to bring boom.


PRIZE PACKAGE

How I beat down the OEV Predator by a score of 7-2 and then text messaged him to call him a donkey So I had a great time last week against one of my arch enemies: Garry Stone of the OEV Predator. No one is faster to call me out for the fantasy sports loser that I have always been. But this week I palpably out-managed him. I started the week with two devastating injuries: my 2nd baseman Kendrick and SS Jeter gone for the week. By happy accident I had mistakenly drafted Tejeda who filled in for Jeter nicely. Ok, so that isn’t a good example of out managing. But my next move of grabbing up Seattle’s 2B Lopez was genius (.346, 6 runs, 1sb). That helped me win all three categories. My second move of the week could have been a catastrophe: picking up and playing Chuck James. He exploded and left my ERA in tatters. But, he did get 5

Ks, and later in the week I made a move that got me 7 more Ks, and I took the category by a mere 3. Going into Saturday I saw Ks and wins were going to be close, and I went to the Buzz Index and found Wandy Rodriguez in hot demand in fantasy land. He was free in the DLB and I snapped him up. By Sunday night I realized I had things sewed up tight when they put the struggling Big Papi on the bench. The following text conversation took place. Me: 7-2 Cav Garry: I know it you son of a bitch. Enjoy it, cause u are da cavs & we know ur track record. It all comes out in the wash. Me: 7-2 you donkey! Hahahaha... Garry: You suck! Thanks to Gordon Ramsey of Hell’s Kitchen for convincing me that ‘Donkey’ is a really fine putdown.

Where would Ted pick? Ted is a Long Island native living in Framingham, so I’m not sure where he might choose to see a game. But the Clevelanders might want to know that 2 tickets to the EMC Club at Fenway go for $297 a seat. The DLB should be famous for its generous losers, right? Photo credits (in order):Paul Keleher, Jeff Keen, Photographia [flickr]

Congratulations to JJ owner Paul Giresi and his wife Tiffany for their brand new assistant general manager, Reece, born on April 10th

[3]


FANTASY DADS!

How old are we? Really old. GANGSTARS owner ML met with the Commissioner this week at Harvard Square, both with kids in tow. We’re so old we never discussed baseball or any of the college coeds out and about on the first hot day of the year. We talked babies.

Story lines for the week ahead: Having done the newsletter for two weeks I have built up my knowledge of all the teams in our league by a small

Bullyclub-Ho Park: this is an early season matchup of hardcore fantasy geeks, but the Bullies have more at stake

amount. As I look at the match-ups for Week 3 (our week 2), I see the following things pop out at me. Cavsox-Lakedogs: I had a good start against the Predator, but my hitting wasn’t much better than the ‘dogs.

after a poor week 1.

Email me your weekly story and I’ll publish it!

DFizzle-Red Legs: Fizzle has no excuse for not going 10-0 if the Red Legs don’t start paying attention.

WHAT’S HOT IN THE DLB

photo credit:

EARTH-GANGSTARS: all capital letters battle and a brother battle, late breaking news says the EARTH just got a lot better in a trade for starting pitching. Clevelanders-JJ: this is a week the ACs should

take advantage of because I bet JJ doesn’t get to look at the computer more than 2 times total this week.

TROPHY HUNT

YAHOO! STATS

NEWSLETTER?

EVA LONGORIA?

I’m kicking around the idea of a Danger Mug for the DLB Champion. Not a trophy, just a cool prize.

Which ones do you use? They’ve introduced a lot of new stuff. Email me what you like to use.

That’s right, you are reading a newsletter about you, and your league. I am a microjournalist.

Is Doggyfizzle a desperate housewife? I swear to God that he picked up Tony Parker’s wife this week.

kessiye

All photo credits are for Flickr members

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Danger! Week 2