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The Crest Road Chronicle Cadwalader Vows Chronicle Publication Will Continue Travel Where the Buffalo Roam Owen Baron first dreamed of seeing Old Faithful when he was six years old. At the time, he was disappointed to discover that he could not go there on a daytrip for his birthday, but remained determined to see the geyser before it dries up, as some scientists predict. This summer his dream came true, as he and his family embarked on a 3-week trip, driving across the country to Wyoming and South Dakota. The Chronicle has obtained an exclusive, first-person account of the trip from an anonymous but reliable source. “After four tiring but interesting days, we reached Laramie, WY, where Ornery Owen was arrested and briefly jailed for wearing orange on Tuesday. A trip through the Snowy Range gave us a chance to play in the snow and see spectacular rainbows before we moved on to the Grand Tetons. We spent a glorious week hiking, boating, fishing, and just enjoying the spectacular scenery and wildlife: sandhill cranes, moose, elk, beaver, 6 bald eagles, and antelope. On to Yellowstone, where Old Faithful was still erupting, as were a myriad fascinating geysers. Buffalo crossed the road in front of our car, stopping to glare at us for impeding their progress. A pelican drifted on lovely Yellowstone Lake. After a night in Cody—and a rendezvous with Elizabeth’s sister and brotherin-law, a rodeo, and a shootout in the center of town—we drove up to South Dakota’s Custer State Park, where even more buffalo abide. Again, gorgeous scenery, and wildlife, including bighorn sheep, mountain goats, and burros. Highlight—the Mammoth Site. The dig is open to the public, and displays almost

LITERATURE Noted scholar Owen Baron spent part of last year researching area middle schools. At one institution, he was set the task of writing a story using ten preset phrases. The following poem, now considered a Christmas classic, was the result. Baron now attends Friends School.

Chronicle Readers were relieved by

today’s announcement that publication of the highly esteemed newsletter will continue, at least through this year. Responding to a rumor that her new fulltime position teaching English as a Second Language at Essex Community College would preclude her finding time to devote to the labor-intensive Christmas edition of the Chronicle, production Fruitcake editor Elizabeth Cadwalader stated, “I Do you have excess fruitcakes? would not think of disappointing I’ll tell you what to do. thousands, well…tens, of devoted Just read these instructionsChronicle fans. The Chronicle has been a You might pick up a clue. family enterprise since 1997, and it would be unthinkable to do away with Use the rubbr’y ones for tires, such a time-honored tradition.” And maybe, yes, just maybe, Prior to this announcement, crowds Wear them as fancy attire, of anxious fans had milled around the Or use them to shut up the baby. Chronicle offices, waiting to hear Cadwalader’s decision. “Not to have the They make a nice toy when you’re Chronicle to read on the eve of the year counting the minutes; 2000 would be a very bad omen indeed,” Put them on tables for holding the crumpets. maintained one Chronicle supporter. Straighten them out for beating the drum, Another claimed, “I wait all year for the Bending them’s fine, but a little ho-hum. Crest Road Chronicle. Our whole family reads it. It just wouldn’t seem like Use them to feed a big hungry bear, Christmas without it.” Use them to trap a rabbit or hare. Store them in the basement, Make a tower out of them, In the evening count them: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Next time you get fruitcakes, Don’t hide’em in a bed of leaves, Use them when it’s proper, To do good will or deeds.

Hints from Helizabeth Dear Helizabeth: I am wondering if you have any hints on what to do with all the Christmas newsletters we receive. The recyclers say they have too many already, and won't collect any more. –Buried in Baltimore Dear BB: Here are some ideas collected from my readers. Newsletters can certainly be reused, and will save you money too! Newsletters are excellent for extra hand towels in the powder room, wallpaper, wrapping fish, lining bird cages, kitty litter (when shredded), wrapping next year’s Christmas gifts, or insulating the attic. Good luck!

intact mammoth skeletons. We fit in a quick visit with Gene’s brother and sister-in-law in Sioux Falls before making the long drive home.�

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