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july 2011

music. art. enteraiment. life

they call it witchcraft: orence + the machine the homebrewer gears up pearl jam: ten at 20 gertrude stein hits SF chutney with the damaged chef moby gets personal


july 2011

Get enlightened music Florence + The Machine Page 3 Shapes and Rolo Tomassi Page 4 She Wants Revenge Page 5

Letter from the editor We sent out word -- and you responded So we needed to find some new writers for the July issue, seeing as we, for June, begged, pleaded, cajoled, threatened and phoned in every favor owed to us by every friend we had. We knew we were screwed for content this month yet, thankfully, we were able to retain a few contributors from last issue. And, even the three-word emails received from some of our writers were not enough to fill the glaring holes in the new issue. It left us little choice but to ask the good people over at Craigslist for help. Funny thing about Craigslist: It is humanity’s best example of the truly strange and damaged people who roam the planet. I won’t go into too much detail here, but let me be the first one to introduce you to the debut of the Damaged Chef column. We had some great responses, some truly odd responses and responses we had to report to the authorities. Also, after spending the past month working Craigslist like I used to work the pole at Captain Banana’s exotic male dance revue, I can say that the film District 9 makes a hell of a lot more sense now: The aliens showed up in Africa after answering an ad on Craigslist. That’s where all the money is apparently. I had no idea there were so many millionaires just giving it away over on the Dark Continent! Please help me in welcoming our new writers and a big thanks for those who stuck around for more abuse -- we could not do this without you. -Joe Mishica Editor-in-Chief P.S. Always be careful what you wish for…

Volume 1, Issue 2

Murder Junkies Page 6 Pearl Jam at 20 Page 8 New Music from Death Cab for Cutie, Moby Page 10 Eddie Vedder’s Ukelele Songs Page 11

art ParaDesign Screws with “Normality”at SFMOMA Page 12 Gertrude Stein Hits San Francisco Page 13

Contact us Joseph F. Mishica - Editor-In-Chief Kristen McCarthy - Executive Editor Kori Filipek-Ogden - Advertising Jason Bolen - Beer In Hand Christopher Arnold - London PAGE 2

Nakadate’s MoMA’s Show Makes Art Creepy Again Page 14

entertainment television “The Inbetweeners”: Losers are Back in Session Page 16


General Orders No. 9: All Potatoes, No Meat Page 17

life Beer in Hand: Gear Up (Part 1) Page 18 Damaged Chef: Some Seriously F**ked-Up Chutney Page 19 Farm to Table: Food from the Source Page 20

Nick Ogden - London ‘Scary’ Sheree Allen - Nashville Ask a Harpy - Advice Column If you have any feedback or suggestions, please feel free to contact us at Who knows? We might actually check it once in a while P.S. If you are a Nigerian Prince or a Viagra Salesman, we’re all good here, Thanks! VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Florence + The Machine The ginger casts her spell By Kristen McCarthy Despite the fact that her debut LP, Lungs, is nearly two years old, British songstress/ performance artist/Grammy nominee/ Fairy-in-Chief Florence Welch and her “Machine” (a dynamic collaboration of musicians) have been attracting a growing — and frenzied — fan base worldwide. And, drawn by her insomnia-/ booze-/hangover-fueled and dark, but strangely danceable, music, L.A. fans recently flocked to the venerable Greek Theater for two sold-out shows at the beginning of this summer’s U.S. tour. While many expected a hard, fast-driving entrance, Welch started the night with what I first thought to be an odd choice: the haunting, “My Boy Builds Coffins.” It’s one of the last tracks on Lungs, and seemed to be less well known/loved by the audience. Yet, she worked it beautifully, casting a spell over the crowd and slowly pulling it into her psychosexual world like an alluring imp. But don’t let her waifishness fool you. There’s a powerhouse in that voice, which swelled, along with the audience’s anticipation, as she began to work her magic, spinning and dancing in her full-length red chiffon dress to “Between Two Lungs.” She proceeded to take full control of the crowd, brandished the pulsating “Drumming Song” and essentially beating her drum — and us (OK, me) — into blissful submission. While I admit that Welch — with a highly intense physical and artistic presence and a vocal range that could choke a diva — immediately (and to my great happiness) reminded me of the alt-/prog-rock legend Kate Bush, there are distinct differences that give them both enough room to own their space. The greatest differentiator — other than the fact that Bush is a multi-instrumental genius — is simply the overhanging darkness that Welch brings to the equation. While Bush has moved through some rather dimly lit spaces throughout her music, her joy has always shown through and emerged victorious — something we have yet to see from Welch. Now that that’s off my chest, Welch’s nearly boundless energy, combined with that unearthly voice and her haunting stare, is nothing if not mesmerizing; yet, when she spoke to the audience between songs,

Florence Welch spun a captivating web at L.A.’s iconic Greek Theater.

she dropped the devilish demeanor and donned the mantle of a sweet, intelligent, almost naïve 25-year-old — someone you’d like to invite over for a hot cup of tea. I found the stark contrast fascinating. But it was not to last, as she quickly resumed her divine bewitching and wafted seamlessly from blithe spirit to wailing creature, bounding across the stage and working through much of Lungs, from the driving “Howl” and a beautifully low-key rendition of “I’m Not Calling You a Liar,” to the distinctly disturbing “Hurricane Drunk” and closing with “Rabbit Heart.” In addition to her standards, Welch provided a sneak peek of what to expect next from Florence + The Machine with two new songs: “What the Water Gave PAGE 3

Me,” inspired by a Frida Kahlo painting of the same name, as well as the debut performance of yet-to-be named song (working title: “Bedroom Hymns”) during the encore. Both were phenomenal and set the stage for another chart-topping LP. All in all, Florence + The Machine did not disappoint and experiencing them live inspires a whole new level of appreciation. Check her out... and see if you can resist her magic.

Kristen is a proud fellow ginger and will be risking her albino self to cover Burning Man this year. Hit her up at:




Holy State, Rolo Tomassi

Power, muscle mark two up-and-comers school of “how complicated can we make this,” Rolo Tomassi consistently gave a bombastic performance, exploding like an autistic child in every which way but loose. While this style kept the audience on the edge of their proverbial seats, it prevented the safety of repetition, keeping listeners from slipping inside the beat.

By Nick Ogden The Relentless Garage in London is a sizeable venue to fill by Holy State and Rolo Tomassi, two ex-Holy Roar (http:// acts. Apart from Rolo having taken the stage at Download Festival and Holy State donning arena stages under the wing of better-known acts (Biffy Clyro), this was really the first time the two taking on a large-capacity crowd without radio names propping them up; they more than made it work. Holy State hit the stage around 9 p.m. Not too late that the crowd is tired of being on their feet, but not so early that they haven’t got some drinks in them in preparation for some rock ‘n’ roll. And that is exactly what Holy State brought. Based on a foundation of vintage amplifiers, its sound is a pre-pro-tools take on heavy, using volume and weight of sound to deliver the roar. The oversaturated, tin-filled gain that makes a band sound like they are playing through laptop speakers was not present here. Holy State’s solid chord work and powerful drums let the songs bring the listeners along with them; not lingering in the passages before, but always paying attention to the path of the music ahead. The vocals lay between a punk shout

Rolo Tomassi: a welcome kick in the teeth.

and the emotion-laden whines of more contemporary acts, bringing the impression of a man, lamenting his problems without letting them conquering him. Holy State is a rock ‘n’ roll band, and when they are on stage they play rock ‘n’ roll. This marks the largest headlining tour for Sheffield’s Rolo Tomassi, and the Relentless Garage followed suit in capacity. Born from the Dillinger Escape Plan

Rolo Tomassi has most certainly toned down, but not in the soft and limp way your mum keeps pestering your dad about. Rolo has effectually managed the opposite. Before, the random attacks resembled ineffectual flails, but now it has accomplished a more muscular command…still attacking your ears but more thought out: harder, heavier, leaving you feel beaten and bested, rather than startled and confused. The strategically placed sections of air and clarity in its play only served to enhance its attack, like taking time between rounds in a prizefight. The additions of these tauter songs also aided the classics in its repertoire. The truly wild sounded wild, having the shock of the terrorist attack as opposed to the expectation of war. Rolo Tomassi is certainly the best it has ever been, and I recommend catching them on tour while the band is still at the crest of its wave. Thoughts? Contact Nick at

Shapes: Here, There, Everywhere Too bad they didn’t bring it By Nick Ogden Shapes seem to be the spiritual successors of Surrey’s defunct posthardcore act, Meet Me in St. Louis, as the flagship heavy-but-not-too-heavyfast-complicated band of England. It does though contain more than enough of its own originality to be thought of as its own branch, and not just another x in a y sort of vein. Recently, Shapes played at the Louisiana in Bristol at 10:30 p.m., having been supported by two bands who were very much x in a y sort of vein, Shapes felt a little overdue; a fault of the promoter, not the band, but an obstacle it had to overcome to capture the crowd.

Now it is at this point that I as a reviewer have to admit, I love Shapes. It is just about my favorite band throughout America and England that are currently active, and I begged him for the chance to review it, having seen it multiple times and being blown away again and again. But this gig can be summed up in one phrase: Shapes didn’t bring it. It’s not that the members played poorly. They were tight and coordinated, and played their songs at a good tempo, but they didn’t bring the glossiness that usually makes them shine much Shapes: great band, bad night. (continued on next page) PAGE 4 VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Acoustic for a Cause

She Wants Revenge takes it down for sea life By Alyssa Duranty She Wants Revenge recently showed its soft side in Riverside, Calif., during an acoustic set at the Sea No Evil art show. Proceeds from entry fees and profits from the donated art all wen to support the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, most famously known for the show “Whale Wars” on Animal Planet. This is the third event that She Wants Revenge has performed in support of the animal activists. “We are good friends to them as they are to us,” said frontman Justin Warfield. The band admitted that even though they had performed acoustic sets in the past, they were unprepared and without a set list. “So it’s either going to be absolutely genius, or absolutely genius,” Warfield said. Starting the night off with the popular song, “Red Flags and Long Nights” and following it with “Tear You Apart,” the band’s reputation quickly resonated with the crowd. Even though there were several sound problems throughout the set, the cheers from spectators continued. The band was the most enthusiastic when performing “Take the World” and “Must Be the One” off their newest album Valleyheart.

She Wants Revenge ended the night with the cover of popular songwriter Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep,” to which the entire crowd sang along with the band and laughed when Warfield forgot some of the words. She Wants Revenge cut its set short, leaving after playing only five songs. “We will continue to support the Sea Shepherds and hope you do too,” Warfield said. Captain Paul Watson, cofounder of Greenpeace and founder of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, announced at the event that it has prevented more than 800 whales from being killed in the Antarctic by Japanese whaling vessels. Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is a non-profit organization and would not be able to function without donations. With the proceeds it collects from events, such as She Wants Revenge frontman Justin Warfield breaks out the acoustic. the Sea No Evil art show, it is Photo by Joshua Pedroza able to fuel ships, support crew volunteers and save marine animals on a of the band, it was clear that She Wants global level. Revenge’s sound and performance should remain true to its indie/rock/electric roots. While the acoustic set was a new side

Shapes (continued)

to this, bringing a level of rock hard steadiness to the songs and a menacing constant presence to the stage like a prefame Sex Pistol. It might have been the small venue or the small crowd, but both were absent tonight.

brighter than others. First, the performance energy was lackluster. It was a small stage and a small crowd so it’s understandable, but people go to see small bands at small venues for two reasons: 1) They’re either friends, family and partners or 2) they really enjoy the band. It may be unfair to the band, but when you go and see something that you really enjoy, your expectations are always higher. Dynamically, and I mean sound here, a Shapes album is everywhere: hard, fast, slow, light, airy, tight -- it’s everything. But on stage it was only loud or a buzzier type of loud. Gone were the cleans, delays, reverbs and everything that gives a complicated song the breathing room and space that it needs before it get’s too full.

Steven (guitars/vocals) is able to cast about like a ballerina, while still being able to maintain a quality of guitar technique that kids buy magazines to achieve. Richard (bass/vocals) is almost the counterfoil PAGE 5

In this review I was hoping to mostly fix on the addition of songs from the band’s newly released full length Monotony Chic. Instead, however, I have spent the whole article explaining how brilliant it is and how brilliant it wasn’t. Listen to Shapes releases and see its shows. It is certainly the best live act out of Britain right now, but if the band carries on like Thursday night, it won’t be for much longer. Thoughts? Contact Nick at VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Dispatch from the Evil Dead state: BLOOD, GUTS & PUNK ROCK! Murder Junkies Invade Knoxville By ‘Scaree’ Sheree The Longbranch Saloon in Knoxville hosted a great band to kick off the summer: The Murder Junkies!!! Formerly fronted by the late and infamous G.G. Allin, this was the final show of The Murder Junkies’ long and brutal 2011 Road Killers tour, and I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this lineup of. What got buried under G.G.’s legacy and myth is the fact that the Junkies were and still are a great punk band. Technically and musically, The Junkies are one of the best.

And let’s be honest here: You

The Road Killers tour celebrates the Junkies 20th anniversary and the setlist was extensive, featuring such new gems as “Once A Whore,” “I Hate You, “Stab You 50 Times,” as well as other titillating and offensive titles I dare not mention here. My personal favorite is punk rock anthem “Rowdy Beer Drinkin’ Night,” which mentions our own lovely city of Knoxville, is a lively tune any drunk punk would love to sing along to. Not a G.G. Allin tribute band, these delinquents are a lovable rowdy bunch with amazing manners and dedication to their legacy, music and fans. This group of punk pioneers is lead by two remaining original members Merle “Pinky” Allin (G.G.’s older brother) on bass, and drummer Donald “Dino Sex” Sachs, the elder statesman of the group. Joining them on the new album and tour is lead singer P. P. Duvay and guitarist F.C. Murder, aka “Duane Rolick.” These two young brutes add even more personality and new blood full of venomous punk than ever.

never know when a third drumstick will come in handy.

let’s be honest here: You never know when a third drumstick will come in handy. Lively and true grit punk rock, these guys kept the crowd going, instigating the good old-fashioned “slam pit” of yesteryear -- an act that left my dedicated and hardcore shutter bug bleeding with accomplishment and possibly a broken rib or two, judging by the all the bruising. Broken ribs aside, the crème de la crème’ of the evening was a bar fight involving a pair of needle nose pliers -- But that is a story for another day.

The Murder Junkies were so much fun, they even made punk rock legend Dee Dee Ramone have a second take and play with them for a spell. But, ultimately, jam Check them out on Facebook for tour sessions with the band were too scary even for him, leading these lovable degenerates information and merchandise, http://www. or the decrepit to continue to strike out on their own. and inoperable My Space for song links One of the most entertaining/disturbing and streaming music. http://www.myspace. nuances of the bands live shows is drumcom/394197977. mer Dino Sex’s wardrobe choices, or lack thereof. He loves to play in the nude, which he is surprisingly successful doing at most locales, playing with wild abandon and fantastic multi-colored “Big Stick” hair. And

Photo credit and dedication to my minions and inspiration: Roy Henry, Bryan Moore and the archives of Merle Allin. PAGE 6

For discounted shrunked heads, fetal pigs and other rarities, contact Scaree Sharee at VOLTAIRE JULY 2011


We all know that Exotica music - the cornerstone of Tiki - owes a lot to our brethren to the south - Mexico and Latin America. In fact Latin music has always been a rich part of American popular culture from Cha Cha and Merengue to Mambo kings, Latin Jazz to Rock En Espanol. But North America’s embracing of Latin music piqued in the mid-1960s with the debonnaire, Latin-styled trumpet player Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass band. It is this romanticized Mexico that we seek to celebrate this year at Tiki Oasis. Join us! • Big Sandy & Los Straightjackets • Bosko • Charles Phoenix • Creepxotica • Dixie von Trixie • DJ Cyrano and Special Agent Lotus • DJ Lee Joseph • DJ Patrick G. Robinson • DJ Senor Amor and Dj Cyrano • Don Jack Hughes • Don Tiki • Eric Musick • Frankie’s Baja Marinba Mania • Gaylord Fields • Herb • Hot Pink Feathers • The Hula Girls • Jack “Mr Bongo” Constanzo & His Latin All Stars • Jack Fetterman & Gina of the Jungle • Jacques Bezuidenhout • Jason Lee

• Jeff Chenault • Judy Luck • Kellita • King Kukulele • Kitten on the Keys • Lady Borgia • Marina the Fire Eating Mermaid • Mark and the Escorts • Martin Cate • Marty Lush and His Latin Livers • Meghan Mayhem • Mimi Le Meaux • Orchestra Superstring • Phast Phreddie • Strike from the Kitsch Niche • Surfer Joe and His Boss Combo • Switched on Audrey • Tana the Tattooed Lady • Tiki Joe’s Ocean • Tiki King • Tim “Swanky” Glazner • Violetta Beretta • Wendy O’Rourke

Tiki Oasis - August 18-21 - San Diego, CA -



Ten turns 20

Pearl Jam’s debut album re-released, remastered with surprising results By Troy Runge Pearl Jam is certainly not the only band that has made music and toured for 20 years. However, while most bands take hiatuses in between albums and shows and even split up only to reform many years later, there are a select few that have been going strong consistently for more than two decades now, and Pearl Jam falls into the category most definitively. In the pioneering music city of Seattle in the late ’80s, the band Green River disbanded and the remnants, guitarist Stone Gossard and bassist Jeff Ament, were left without a group. The duo soon recruited fellow Seattle guitarist Mike McCready while searched for a suitable vocalist. Eddie Vedder, who was the singer for the California-based quartet, Bad Radio, was soon recommended by Jack Irons — the band’s original choice for its drummer (who would eventually play drums for them in the mid-’90s) — and was the band’s voice within a week of his audition. After settling on the name Pearl Jam (which is in reference to the band seeing a Neil Young jam session in concert), the band started performing as a unit in 1990. Pearl Jam was born out of the “grunge” music scene in Seattle, which also consisted of other chart-topping bands

Pearl Jam during their salad days.

such as Nirvana, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden. With the grunge movement, the hair metal fad of the Poisons and Cinderellas of that era were phased out of the public eye when ripped jeans replaced tight spandex and flannel replaced studded vests. The sound was characterized by pure aggression and was an answer to teenage angst, as opposed to cheesy lyrics about love and relationships and heavy synthesizers that hair metal gave us. After a bit of touring, the band headed into the studio to record an album and the result was its iconic debut, Ten. Released in 1991, the album was a landmark in music history, as it was released at a time when “grunge” music was hitting the mainstream hard. Pearl Jam rode the wave of the popularity of grunge and, with the help of the famous singles, “Even Flow,” PAGE 8

“Jeremy” and “Alive,” the recording became a breakthrough phenomenon, eventually selling more than 9 million units in the U.S. alone. The album, starts off raw with the opening track, “Once,” which tells the story of a man’s downward spiral into insanity. It then goes into the two famous singles, “Even Flow” (about the experiences of a homeless man) and “Alive” (a re-telling of the horrific events of a sexual relationship between a mother and son), both of which charted the Billboard rock charts. Mid-way through Ten, the band takes a more calm, less-hard-rocking tone with “Black,” and immediately follows up with the album’s most famous track, “Jeremy,” which recounts the suicide of a young boy in front of his classroom in the ’70s. The tune was so popular that its video won “Best Video of the Year” at the MTV Video Music Awards in 1993. The seventh track is the minor hit, Oceans,” the CD’s fourth single. The compilation’s closing track “Release” clocks in at almost 10 minutes and contains the hidden track, “Master/Slave.” Pearl Jam became a mainstay in music as a result of the record and stuck around even after Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain’s suicide in 1994, which effectively ended the “grunge” era. Nirvana disbanded as a result, Alice in Chains began a long hiatus in the mid-’90s before reuniting in 2006, VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Pearl Jam: Living Legacy (continued)

The band enjoys a tasty third course.

and Soundgarden disbanded in the late ’90s before reforming in 2010. The band went on to release numerous albums throughout the ’90s with every record sounding different from the last. The group’s follow-up to Ten was the 1993 multi-platinum selling, Vs., which contained the smash hits, “Daughter,” which topped both the Billboard Mainstream and Modern Rock charts, and “Rearviewmirror,” which was also the name given to the band’s greatest hits compilation in 2004. Vitalogy followed in 1994 and contained one of the band’s most famous songs in “Corduroy” and its sole Grammy-winning hit, “Spin the Black Circle.” The album, Yield, dropped in 1998 and contained the tune, “Do the Evolution,” for which an innovative music video was made. The animated clip was nominated for a Grammy award for “Best Music Video – Short-Form” in 1999. Pearl Jam acquired Soundgarden drummer, Matt Cameron, in 1998 and has performed with the same line-up ever since. The band has sold more than 60 million records worldwide and continues to be referred to as one of the great “American rock ‘n’ roll bands.” Vedder’s recognizable voice has arguably been

emulated by numerous singers throughout the ’90s, the most famous example of which is Creed singer, Scott Stapp, who has been criticized numerous times for the vocal resemblance. The 2000s were kind to the quintet, as they continued to sell out stadiums and arenas worldwide. The year 2009 marked the release of the band’s ninth album, Backspacer, which included the hot track, “The Fixer.” The album hit No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart in its first week of release. In 2011, Vedder recently released his long-awaited second solo album, Ukulele Songs (see review on Page 11), which follows up on his composition of the soundtrack to the 2007 Oscar nominated film, “Into the Wild.” In an exciting moment for die-hard fans, 2011 marks the 20th anniversary of Ten, which PAGE 9

the band has re-released with tons of “new” material, including demos, live tracks and a biographical novel. To commemorate the record’s significance, it was entirely remastered, giving it a much fresher sound so fans can hear how the LP would sound like if it were recorded today. The re-master Ten sold more than 60,000 copies in its first week. VOLTAIRE JULY 2011


music reviews

A Moment of Reflection

Death Cab for Cutie’s Codes and Keys marks subtle departure for DC foursome By J. Jiles With a move to Los Angeles and a marriage, lead singer Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie set out to make a more lighthearted record after the dark imagery of Narrow Stairs — and, with Codes and Keys, that mission has been achieved. Codes and Keys blazes its own trail against the Washington-born band’s prior six albums, as each of the 11 songs is arranged in an impressionistic fashion. “Home Is a Fire,” aptly opens as a poetic commentary on isolation, combined with minimal guitar arrangements. The first single, “You Are a Tourist,” questions choices, decisions and regrets and makes for an epic speech for a song clocking at four minutes. On “Undisturbed Views,” Death Cab for Cutie echoes prior resonance from other projects with its depth-reaching lyricism and subtle nuances sprinkled throughout. “Undisturbed Views” is a perfect example of indie rock magic. “Monday Morning,” emerges from Codes and Keys as a song that would find its way on a soundtrack or played at the end of a television show with its alternative edginess. The band stated that its main influence behind Codes and Keys was Brian Eno’s Another Green World and the dreamlike euphoria that exudes from it. “Portable Television,” is a relaxing elixir on escapism that finds a way to strike a nerve, whether or not that was its intent. “Underneath the Sycamore,” is a passionate statement

Death Cab for Cutie all growed up.

about how we are all the same when the façades are removed. There are moments on Codes and Keys during which you wonder if Death Cab for Cutie could create anything better, as every song proffers meaning and intensity without breezing by as just another rock song founded in angst or political disenchantment. The title cut unlocks much of the musical styles that encompassed Transatlanticism. Codes and Keys closes with a coffeehouse tune, “Stay Young, Go Dancing,” fraught with romantic metaphors

interpreted to be Gibbard’s heartfelt and amorous ode to life. Bass guitarist Nick Harmer noted that Codes and Keys “was a little more open-ended as far as submitting different ideas if there were openings or holes for ideas to be submitted, but I think a lot of the experimentation came from the production side more than it did from the writing side.” Codes and Keys is a remarkable work of art from Death Cab for Cutie that will be listened to again and again, as it epitomizes the band’s progression over the course of its 14-year musical adventure. Final Grade: 5/5


Moby Gets Personal By J. Jiles For more than 20 years, Moby has composed an intriguing range of electronic vibes, and his 10th project, Destroyed, is a welcome addition to an artful repertoire. Vacillating from lucidity to realism, this bundle of 15 tracks creates an atmospheric experience worth taking. Beginning with “The Broken Places,” Moby invites listeners to step into a world laced with synthesizers with an appealing balance of sonic melodies. On “Sevastopol,” Moby returns to his true-toform style of aggressive mixing combined

with various layers that continuously build upon each other. When Moby decides to vocalize his tracks — such as on “The Day,” and “After” — it results in a hazy and sub-par concept, diminishing Destroyed’s overall theme. While every Moby album has exhibited winning masterpieces or unnerving downfalls, Destroyed, glides in between the two extremes. “Victoria Lucas,” immerses itself in a play similar to (continued on next page) PAGE 10



music reviews

Vedder Goes Native

Ukulele Songs brings out the grunge icon’s softer side By J. Jiles

True,” finds Vedder in a With a single instrument and happier mood than prior the scratchy tone of his vocal, recordings and a more Pearl Jam’s lead singer, Eddie assertive ukulele. “Light Vedder pens Ukulele Songs, a Today,” adds some 14-song acoustic tapestry that wave crashing is a remarkable addition to his percussion as long-standing history in the Vedder chases hope alternative rock department. and new found realism His second solo effort, with the apt line “I saw following 2007’s Into the Wild, the light today.” Sorrow Ukulele Songs, is a treasure is spread over box of campfire-esque “Sleepless Nights,” musings. “Can’t Keep,” the a yearning ballad on opener, embodies dark and missing a love and havtightly weaved grit that is ing anticipation that the loosened with the beach sound good times will resurof the uke, while “Sleeping By face with a return. The Myself,” is a song about Ukulele Songs shows that Vedder has figured out how to get personal without growling. 1937 standard written groveling with the emotional by Michael Edwards, aspects of an ended romance. “Once In a While,” is a dulcet and melanA relic on relationships, “Without You,” is choly sung cover that is a reverie. noteworthy with the memorable lines “and from afar I lie awake/close my eyes to find I’d never be the same/without you without you.” The graceful approach of “More Than You Know,” feels as though Vedder kept this once close to the vest as the vocal hints deep feeling and the strumming of the ukulele personifies the cascading theme of Ukulele Songs. “Goodbye” could find its way as a Vedder classic. Peaceful drops of uke strings belt over Vedders’ musical style. Both “Satellite” and “Longing to Belong,” offer a reflective gentile winding path back to Pearl Jam classics such as “Betterman,” “Elderly Woman behind the Counter,”

“Given to Fly,” “Oceans” and the more recent “Just Breathe” with their inspired sadness and breathy sung simplicity. “You’re

The final two pieces covers of the classic tunes, “Tonight You Belong to Me,” and “Dream A Little Dream,” closing out an album that will strike a positive feeling in fans. The former echoes a Hawaiian sound, and the latter finds Vedder patterning Bob Dylan with lyrics that are earnestly tender. Ukulele Songs’ fare is harmonized and precisely put together contemplations, odes, ponderings, serenades and tunes that showcase Vedder’s distinctive guitar and rugged inflection hidden within an ample arsenal of ruminations that are sprightly sentimental. Final Grade: 4/5

Moby Gets Personal (continued)

The Chemical Brothers and Enigma. Moby seems content in this zone of harmonics, and chord changes with haunting breaths and hums guide the core. Of all of the insomnia-laden pieces on Destroyed, “Lie Down in Darkness” revisits the refreshing resonance of prior Moby submissions such as Play and Hotel. It is a fitting crystalline, almost as if Moby used this song as a blueprint for the overall process by which Destroyed was crafted. “Stella Maris,” is pleasing to the ear, combining astral workings with operatic

solicitude. This is, by far, one of Moby’s best written works since his emergence in the crispness of the electronic music arena. Destroyed was patterned while Moby was on tour. A conception of murky, symphonic and turbulent undercurrents, its discourse is restless lethargy. “The Violent Bear it Away,” is a written prescription to the agitation Moby noted that he exhibited during the production of Destroyed. A melancholic piano drives the song, while waves of aural calmness ebb and flow against the speakers. PAGE 11

“Lacrimae” falls toward the latter end of Destroyed. The collection’s longest number, “Lacrimae” feels out of place as if it were intended to simply be filler. Destroyed’s swan song, “When You Are Old,” finds Moby in a more peaceful state as he weaves together a short and to-the-point finale. Destroyed is a welcoming change for Moby, who has thus far entertained fans and listeners with less distinguishing fare. Perhaps he is setting the stage for more personal projects in the future. Final Grade: 4/5 VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



ParaDesign: Abnormal Normality By Lesya Westerman Modern art museums have a tendency to bring out our confidence. I’ve come to find there is a simple equation that encompasses this situation: modern art equals something akin to, “I could do that.” plus “Yeah… but you didn’t.” In truth — and in direct contrast to the Matisse and Picasso paintings on the same floor — this was my first impression upon entering the ParaDesign exhibit at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Yet this showing of abnormalities is more philosophically beautiful than, perhaps, instantly aesthetically gratifying. Greeted by a looping video of a woman’s mouth slipping sweet nothings into the ether, the adjacent plaque introducing gallery-goers to ParaDesign offers the intention of the pieces occupying the next two rooms. Taking a cue from the meaning of “para,” the sculptures, sketches and alterations of everyday objects are presented in an abnormal fashion, triggering one to question everything. Why this design? Why this material? Why is this object so much more important when presented in this manner, yet not like that? Suddenly the basic elements of design are more prevalent than ever. The first, smaller room is filled with what initially appears as functional pop art gone wrong. A couch built of classic White Pages sits with a black chair constructed out of melted cable ties and a geometric neon light that almost resembles a molded Jolly Rancher candy. Each couch, light, and bookcase would serve a potential user as well as what one might find at IKEA. Granted, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to indulge in a Swedish meatball after paying for your phonebook couch, but there is something to be said for functionality in a piece and the degree in which aesthetics affect our perception of its ability to function. Yet it’s the second room that truly encompasses the idea behind ParaDesign. Futuristic mechanical blueprints line the west wall, transitioning into drawings of cities that are nearly anatomical. Though just when things begin to appear serious and precise, Elizabeth Diller and Ricardo Scofidio’s “His/Hers” creeps up on you. An unassuming wall of his and hers towel pairings offer witty commentary on the heterosexual relationship. Forget the days of embroidering whose towel is whose; now are the days of “She is puzzled by HIS

ParaDesign encompasses the paradox of modern art, indelibly blurring the lines between form and function.

silence” and “He takes HERS as a sign.” The same social analysis translates to Tauba Auerbach’ “Alphebetized Bible,” in which the entire manuscript is picked apart letter by letter and alphabetized (i.e., The Holy Bible becomes BbeehHilloTy). While many would see the act of turning a sacred book into lists of letters blasphemous, I find Auerbach’s intentions admirable. I believe this of all the gallery’s pieces truly speaks to ParaDesign’s essence. Without sensible wording, The Bible is just another book — pieces of paper bound, with ink lettering pressed onto each page. Perhaps the holy subject creates a stronger impact, but the function and superficial importance of all books are directly confronted in this way. En route to the last corner of the exhibit, I had opened my mind up to all abstracted analytical possibilities when I encountered the final piece: a sleeping bag. Nothing particularly eye-catching about it as it was black, folded in thirds lengthwise. Oddly though, said normality made it the most mystifying, completely compelling piece. PAGE 12

Having encountered works intrinsically poking at society, questioning modern design principles and the limitations of function, the last hoorah of a sleeping bag brilliantly closes the exhibit. If the other objects filling the gallery somehow possess profundity, surely the sleeping bag could, as well. For that matter, couldn’t everything? This mindset one gains from ParaDesign is an abnormality in itself given the straightforward attitude we’ve adapted as a society. Modern art’s intention of pushing boundaries manifests in this showing, perhaps reforming any given person for good — or just long enough to question a tape dispenser or two.

ParaDesign On exhibit through July 24 San Francisco Museum of Modern Art 151 Third St. San Francisco, CA 94103 VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Gertrude Stein: Five Stories A Legacy at the Contemporary Jewish Museum By Chelsea Turowsky “Let me listen to me and not them.” -Gertrude Stein Now through Sept. 6, the Contemporary Jewish Museum honors the legendary Gertrude Stein in an exhibit entitled, “Getrude Stein: Five Stories.” If you live in San Francisco, you may have seen the cardinal red signs adorning the streetlights and Muni busses all over town. These signs, along with SFMOMA’s concurrent Stein tribute, heighten the Stein hype that seems to be occurring in San Francisco this summer. The CJM has done a brilliant job at dividing Stein’s life into five segments that reveal telescopic views of Stein as an artist, as a domestic partner to Alice B. Toklas, and as an ex-patriot living in Paris for most of her life who surrounded herself with a circle of artful friends. What I appreciate most about this exhibit is that, while honoring her life’s work the CJM did not camouflage Stein’s true colors, as she was a woman who considered herself brilliant and on par with the brilliant men of her time. She was said to have enjoyed a man’s “intellectual company” over a woman’s. Her partnership with Alice B. Toklas was very much the traditional lifestyle between a husband and wife. Toklas devoted her life to Stein and — because of that dynamic — their homosexuality did not demolish Stein’s success and notoriety as a writer. Instead, in the late 1920s, Stein became involved with a dozen or so gay male artists, including photographers Cecil Beaton and Carl Van Vechten and painter Sir Francis Rose, who were attracted to her confidence. The most compelling of these “five stories” is that of Stein’s legacy. There were some truly stunning pieces in this exhibit created by artists inspired by Gertrude Stein. While it was pleasing to see paintings of Stein done by Picasso or intricate studio photographs of Stein and Toklas by Beaton, more astounding pieces were found in the final rooms of this exhibit. Something simple yet profound — Felix Gonzalez Torres’ 1992 “Untitled” — is a photograph of the flowers that bloomed from the soil in which Stein and Toklas were buried. Eighteen years after Torres passed from HIV/AIDS, lesbian artist

“Gertrude Stein” Cecil Beaton (1935)

“Untitled” Felix Gonzalez Torres (1992)

Tammy Rae Carland created an almost exact piece, this time of the flowers peeking out at Torres’ grave. It can be said that Stein began this chain reaction of queer artists being deeply inspired by each other’s voices and work. It’s undeniable that Stein’s presence in the art world has been solidified through this exhibit — and for just reason. Her work is quite innovative, and her success unprecedented as a lesbian artist. But if I might suggest, if you’d like to get to know Gertrude Stein, please purchase one of her books. About 40 of them are on display PAGE 13

at the CJM but, like most art, they are behind glass and untouchable. She was a woman who thrived on the manipulation of language, who put her life into her books, so I think we owe it to her to start with her words for true inspiration.

Gertrude Stein: Five Stories On exhibit through Sept. 6 at the Contemporary Jewish Museum 736 Mission St. San Francisco, CA 94103 VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Nakadate’s “Only the Lonely” Welcome to the verge of taboo By Lily Churgin Laurel Nakadate’s “Only the Lonely,” at The Museum of Modern Art in New York, is centered around a hallway filled, floor to ceiling, with large photographs of the artist crying. Her videos, which are the strength of the show, play in the rooms branching off the hall. These consist mostly of Nakadate dancing or performing with strange men she’s encountered. In one room, a projection shows Nakadate performing suggestive dances in unlikely places such as around the pillar of an abandoned ranch house or at a midnight-empty gas station. In another series, she dances to Britney Spears songs in the company of a homely, middle-aged man who either stands there awkwardly or half-heartedly dances with her. It is hard to know whether to pity or applaud these men. In another room, three videos three different men singing “Happy Birthday” to Nakadate over a candlelit cake. (Interestingly, none of the men get the song quite right.) In one, Nakadate offers her serenader a slice. Nakadate does not join him, but instead sits watching as the man guzzles down the one, and then another, piece of cake. This makes for the first of many painfully awkward moments characteristic of the show. Nakadate is behind the camera in another video coaxing an adolescent girl out of bed. She first gently wheedles the girl awake, asks her to show her feet, then continually inquires for each article of clothing, “What’s under that?” while gently assuring her, “You know you’re beautiful, right?” In videos such as these, where an actress takes Nakadate’s place, it is clear

Creeped out yet? Good. That’s the point.

that the girl is the real subject here. There seems to be a motif that depicts girls as unwitting objects of man’s uncontrollable desire, a romantic idea in its assumed universality, cynical in its denial of human morality. Nakadate permits one of the men to draw her nude, or partially nude, on the condition that she be allowed to videotape their sessions. Even in the nude, Nakadate maintains control. Her firm grasp on the situation accounts for an interesting shift of that classical paradigm whereby strange men lure helpless girls. In Nakadate’s videos of herself with these men, however, she is the temptress, empowered, perhaps by her camera (and with art behind her), to humiliate her pitiable dupe.

One of the reasons it is difficult to read this work is because Nakadate’s own position is so unreadable. In some videos, she seems to be completely present in the moment, but in others, she gazes directly out at us as if luring the viewer into this simultaneously loaded and innocent world. Nakadate dances on the edge of the forbidden with her video installation. PAGE 15

In so doing, the work seems to be drawing a comparison between the act of the viewer and that of the featured man. One telling video features Nakadate performing an experiment in which she drops little unidentifiable crumblings into two tall cartons causing them to eject a fountain of brown, foaming discharge while a man watches. Ironically, or fittingly, Jodorowsky’s “Holy Mountain” plays in another room of the museum upstairs. The videos always seem to be teetering on the verge of taboo. In a similar way, the wall texts, which are written by Nakadate herself, are oddly facile in their complete evasion of the provocative nature of the work. The videos test our comfort zone. In them, a young girl and a strange man privately engage in just about everything short of physical contact. The viewer almost feels embarrassed to sit in front of the writhing Nakadate and her unlikely accomplices for too long. A theme that seems so prevalent in this show is one that is actually nowhere to be found, the one we bring to it ourselves. It’s the fact that this fragile boundary is continually grazed, but never crossed, that is what makes this work so unsettling.

Only the Lonely On exhibit through July 24 The Museum of Modern Art 11 W. 53 St. New York, NY 10019 VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



“The Inbetweeners”

Just when you forgot how much being a teen sucks By Christopher Arnold Have you ever had a nickname you simply did not deserve? A friend, perhaps, made a joke about a certain observation and it just stuck for the rest of you secondary school days, maybe even life? Well, for Briefcase Wanker Will, it is still sticking. When we last saw Will and his lovable losers, their luck was against them, and it only gets worse for the boys in series three. “The Inbetweeners” follows Will, a posh, well spoken 6th-form student having to move from a private school to a state (public school for you Yanks) school where, to say the least, things do not go smoothly. In his quest to make friends and become socially accepted and more popular, he encounters three other students, Simon, Jay and Neil. Like the title of the show hints, the boys are not socially “cool,” nor are they Can our boys catch a break this year? Don’t count on it. completely at the bottom. They are just, well, “The Inbetweeners,” Having been invited to join the fashion Saturday night on BBC America, we see the boys return in the BAFTA-awardwinning comedy “The Inbetweeners” and hilarity will ensure. The boys are now in their final sixth form year of school and are no closer to becoming the popular studs that they have so highly craved to become. The show returns for its third season with the episode “The Fashion Show.” Ever the optimists, our hopeless romantics see, perhaps, a perfect opportunity to maybe become more popular. However, now that Jay can drive, coupled with the fact he has now pierced his ear, he believes he is the sex symbol the school needs. Neil, still the complete tool, fails to recognize the obvious sexual overtures from his teacher, Mr. “Paedo” Kennedy, showing just how blissful ignorance truly is. But, of course, Will still takes the biscuit with his outlandish rants and dickish ways. Will however, has an encounter with a student that could actually trump even himself as being the biggest wanker. Does this put him in his place, or is it possible for Will find a way to lower himself ever further in the social pecking order? This all adds to the climax of the episode, which focuses on Simon for the most part.

show as a model, Simon sees this as a perfect opportunity to try and impress his one true love, Carly. But without giving too much away as far as spoilers go, I’ll just say that sitting through this particular sequence requires a lot of balls. If you have never seen “The Inbetweeners,” all I can say is you are either a hermit crab, only emerging every few years to swap a shell or two, or you just need an education in the brilliance of youth-based comedy. Unlike most other comedies, “The Inbetweeners” actually portrays the harsh realties of growing up in a state school and how relationships with other people can be the key to getting through it all. But sometimes those friends take the piss, and writers Iain Morris and Damon Beesley have really created the perfect dialogue and script, which allow us to look at each other and think, “Yeah, I can relate to that…” I can remember how I was first introduced to “The Inbetweeners.” One day in college, a friend who we all use to tease about how hot his mum was just openly said, “I can totally relate to that Will character. The fact it is so close to our lives makes it hilarious. And my mum is not PAGE 16

hot!” This simple statement spurred me to find the show for myself, and I agree, I felt myself being able to relate to the show. Mates calling each other benders, f*ck knuckles, using the your mum joke over and over, and skipping a class or two only to get busted. And this is where the true comedy lies. Being able to watch this show, we see a bit of our own teenage selves. Things I would have found horrible then, are hilarious now, and that’s the twist. Each character holds his own and each holds a quality I can relate with some point in my life. With that being said, it’s not just the show you’re laughing at, but yourself. So, if you like fast yet, crude gags delivered on an almost constant speed, coupled with moments that truly grasp the harsh realities of relationships both with friends and lovers, this show is for you. And, if the first episode is anything to go on, “The Inbetweeners” has not lost its charm and it’s only going to get worse for our lovable losers. Much, much worse... When not busy braiding his dreamy, ginger locks, Chris can be reached at VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



General Orders No. 9

This view of the South serves up a beautiful plate of potatoes but where’s the meat?

General Orders No. 9 is awfully pretty, but pretty awful.

By Lauren Panariello After 11 years of preparation, Robert Persons’ enigmatic documentary, General Orders No. 9, is ready for its national release. A conglomerate of images, voice-overs and illustrations, the film is an exemplar of fine cinematography, but doesn’t achieve much in terms of entertainment. The film begins with a montage of maps and illustrations, explaining to an unfamiliar audience the geographic organization of the American South. Slowly -- very slowly -- it moves into a series of images, 79 minutes worth, of the director’s Southern nostalgia. “On a certain level I made the film for myself, and as I got deeper into the process I wanted to roll around in Southern melancholia,” said Persons, who crafted the series of images to resemble “the way a person remembers something.” In that case, there isn’t a single human being in Persons’ memory because the film rolls on without showing a square of flesh. While the director’s battle to preserve Southern culture against the lifeless and infiltrating North is a motif not easily lost on his audience, (think highways and industrial warehouses imposed on a cinematographic landscape of fresh flowers and billowing Georgian meadows or hacked tree stumps

and a fish gasping for breath on a bed of dry grass), there isn’t any real story to follow. Sure, the director does a fine job of crafting characters out of America’s juxtaposing regions but, despite his best efforts, watching the film lack a humanistic story line is like sitting down to dinner only to be presented with a side dish and no main course. General Orders No. 9 has potatoes, but no meat. The surprising star of this film is neither the images or score, but rather the unlikely narrator, William Davidson, whose poetic lines permeate the documentary from minute one.

amongst Persons’ images. In a dark theater, it seems as if everything from his raspy whispers, to the slight whistle on his “s,” wafts through the air long after the credits roll. Persons’ words are beautiful and would, no doubt, make a stunning poem if presented as a text. And while his images are certainly pretty, at times they are no better suited for film than for a slideshow. A noble effort for a first-time writer/director, General Orders No. 9 is worth a screening in the rural townships it inhibits, but at New York prices, save your $13 and see the latest summer blockbuster instead.

“I wrote the narration,” Persons explained, “but I needed an audio recording, and Bill lived down the street so I asked him to come and do some scratch voice over.” What began as a temporary stand-in soon became the linchpin on which the film would turn. “We were listening to Bill’s voice and realized it was perfect. I remembered at my wedding reception, he stood up and read a poem I had written and I thought, ‘Gosh, he knows how to read my sentences.’” Davidson’s voice is the perfect match for Persons’ vision. As the director guides us through his pictorial tale of a waning, yet beautiful pastoral, Davidson’s oration blankets our ears with the sweet southern drawl of an Atlanta native. His throaty, soft, sandpaper voice lingers effortlessly PAGE 17



Beer in Hand:


It’s time to gear up! (Part 1) By Jason Bolen When you’re a brewer and the topic of home brewing comes up with a fellow beer lover, there are a few questions that invariably arise. Questions like, “How much do you brew at a time?” or “What kinds of beer can you make?” will usually lead to the question that they’re just dying to ask: “How can I do this too?” Knowing what I know about you, I can already tell that we’re at this point in the conversation, so let me confirm that yes, you can do this and no, it won’t suck your bank account dry. Well, unless you want it to. The first thing everyone wants to know about home brewing is “How much does it cost to get started?” That’s a bit of a loaded question as there are lots of variables that can dramatically increase or decrease your set-up cost. Here are two questions to honestly ask yourself right out of the gate: 1) How much can I afford to spend? and 2) Do I see myself doing this long-term? You can purchase or put together a basic brewing setup for well under $100. Will it have all of the bells and whistles that make your brewing extra efficient and easy? Of course not, you cheap bastard! But hey, you’re saving money and getting the job done. But if you have a little extra cash lying around and are OK with laying out a few hundred dollars in one shot, your brewing experience will go a little smoother. Think of brewing as the kind of hobby wherein once you’ve got your basic setup at home, each time that you wander into

This is my primary fermenter, which doubles as my bottling bucket.

the brew shop is an opportunity to pick up a new tool, gadget or toy. The next thing you know a year has gone by and you’ve built up a pretty nice stockpile of tools at pretty much $10 to $15 a pop. Not a bad deal. The other consideration is your commitment to the process. If you’re the guy who jumps onto something and then dumps it for the next great pastime, you’d better go cheap because you’re going to throw some money away; but if you’re the kind of guy who really loves to explore a craft, you’ll want to invest in some quality gear that will stand the test of time.

their quart capacity (Remember, 4 quarts equal 1 gallon) so at minimum you’re going The beer ingredients themselves are the to want an 18-20 quart kettle. This is a cheapest parts. Expect to pay roughly $30 purchase that you can spend some of that to $40 per 5-gallon batch, depending on extra cash on if you wanted. If you see what type of beer you’re making and what its ingredient list calls for. Broken down, this yourself really getting into brewing consider a kettle that you can grow into, like a 32- or is a real bargain when you think about it. You’ll soon be brewing beer along the same 40-quart stainless-steel made by MegaPot caliber as your favorite craft brews so think or Blichmann. This upgrade will last you a brewing lifetime but will also cost you about what it costs to go into a bar and at least $200 or more depending on the order up a Black Butte Porter. If you can accessories you pick up for the pot like a get a pint for $4 you’re doing pretty well, ball valve, thermometer, or false bottom. If and remember that your 5-gallon batch you’re looking for bare bones, I started with of home brew will produce 40 16-ounce a 20-quart enameled canning pot and it pints. At a retail cost of $160, your $35 worked really well. Now I use it to heat my batch of home brew is looking like a pretty sparge water for my all grain batches so it’s economically sound investment. (And you thought you’d never use math again!) Make still getting used every time I brew. sure to extol the virtues of these savings Next month, we’ll finish off the equipment to your significant other when they balk at essentials and begin to look at beer styles your trips to the brew supply shop. Bottom that are perfect for the beginning home line: You’re saving money and drinking brewer. great beer that you made yourself! So what do we really need to get started? The first things you’re going to need are cleaners and sanitizers, available at your local brew supply shop or online. This is by far the most important but most overlooked part of the brewing process by the novice brewer, me included. Nothing is worse than sinking $40 and an entire afternoon into a batch of beer only to discover, four weeks later, that your poor sanitation techniques allowed a bug to enter your beer and ruin it. It cuts to the bone. So my first bit of advice to you is this: Be hyper-vigilant with your cleaning and sanitizing and you’ll thank me for it later. For the new extract brewer you’ll need a pot or kettle in which to boil your wort, the brewer’s term for young beer. A typical boil is 3-4 gallons to which you’ll briefly add your specialty grains for body and color, then your malt for fermentable sugar and flavor and your hops for bitterness and aroma. Kettles are usually sized by PAGE 18

Questions? Comments? Contact

One of my 5-gallon carboys, used for secondary fermentation or conditioning.




Just Like Grandma Used to Make Chutney so good, it requires therapy By The Damaged Chef Here is a recipe for my grandmother’s chutney. I have fond memories of this chutney, as we would all go over to grandma’s house after a long hike in the snow high up in the Berkeley Hills. I remember her house being so warm, so calm. We would all gather ’round her hearth, chanting, “We want chutney! We want chutney!” Before long, grandma would wheel out one of her barrels of chutney. She was a simple woman. Not one to stand on pomp and circumstance. She believed in the simple things in life and living a simple life, like eating chutney. I remember all of the pushing and shoving as my brothers and sisters tried to get near the barrel of chutney. Then grandma would reach down with her big, muscular arm and grab a large handful of chutney. I have to say, I used to steal a look at my grandma’s body under her dress sleeve as she reached for the chutney and she had the longest armpit hair I have ever seen. But it smelled great, just like fresh Gouda. And she had those old-style pewter bowls, the ones that people used to use for stew in pirate movies. We would all get a big bowl of chutney and then just go to town, chowing down. Grandma didn’t have spoons or forks. She believed it best to eat one’s food as nature had provided, with your hands. I remember going back for seconds, thirds and, well, sometimes a fourth serving. Must have been about a gallon of chutney we each ate. Sure, from time to time one of us would get sick. In fact, sometimes more than one of use

Ingredients •

1/2 whole head garlic

1/4 teaspoon olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

1 tablespoon olive oil

3 cups apricot preserves

1 cup white vinegar

2 teaspoons ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon salt

Yes, Grandma, my hands are clean.

would get sick. Actually we all got sick, every time we ate grandma’s chutney. Oh well, I hope you all enjoy this chutney as much as we did…

Directions O


1. Preheat oven to 450 F (230 C). 2. Slice the top off the half head of garlic with a sharp knife, exposing the cloves. Discard the top. Place the head of garlic on a piece of aluminum foil, drizzle with 1/4 teaspoon of olive oil, and wrap the foil around the garlic. Roast in the preheated oven until golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes. 3. While the garlic is roasting, place the onion and 1 tablespoon of olive oil into a saucepan over medium heat and cook and stir until the onion is browned, PAGE 19

The Damaged Chef can be found trolling local rest homes for hirsute octogenarians. Contact the chef at

10 to 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in the apricot preserves, vinegar, ginger, cayenne pepper and salt until thoroughly combined. 4. Squeeze the roasted garlic cloves out of their skins and mash them in a bowl with a spoon. Mix the garlic into the chutney; bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat and simmer until thickened, about 25 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir carefully because any splashes of chutney will be burning hot. 5. Pack the chutney into sterilized jars and process to seal. VOLTAIRE JULY 2011


Farm to Table


The beauty of pure food from the source

The Kurtwood Farms kitchen hearkens back to the era of fresh, simple food.

By Briley Smith What comes to your mind when you close your eyes and imagine the Pacific Northwest in its essence? OK, besides the rain. For most its usually two things: the agricultural richness in part with the beauty of the land and the of course the FOOD. I thought I was an individual who, from having a passion for cooking and working in some of the top kitchens of Seattle, had a pretty good handle on what the fundamentals were all about. As I would soon discover, though, I was at the tip of the iceberg. How could this be so? I work diligently with the freshest of products all the time. What link was I missing? I was not sure but as I researched more of the ideas around the so-called “raw uncut food scene in Seattle,” the feeling of discontentment came over me as I realized how far not only I had but how society, in part, had unknowingly become disconnected from the “farm to table” concept -- food in its

What’s that saying about happy cows?

purest of forms. No pretentiousness, or overly evolved ideas about new “food products.” Everything today is so available for PAGE 20

consumers -- boxed up, shrink-wrapped, shipped. Even when you are in the nicest restaurant in the most reputable city for most amazing cuisine, you are still left with the curtain over your eyes so to speak. VOLTAIRE JULY 2011



Farm to Table (continued)

. What can you expect? Businesses need to make a dollar so bringing food that is truly grown from the land vs. hydroponic plastic is never the most practical option. Money aside, we can blame the FDA for placing fear of food-borne illness in the innocent minds across the homeland. None of this really stuck as a thorn in my side until I became inspired by an individual who, in essence, is living the epitome of a self-sustaining lifestyle. He is a humble man of many words but, far greater than his words, are the actions behind them. The gentlemen I speak of, Kurt Timmermiester, was courteous enough to have me over to his Vashon Island Farm that is 20 years in the making. Before the farm, Kurt was the chef and owner of highly successful restaurant Café Septieme. This establishment carried a very open-ended “ homey” vibe that attracted many hipsters, artists, and freethinkers alike. The magic was captured by Timmermiester’s uncanny ability to bring people together through delicious simple food that felt like it was true home-cooked glory, rather than high-end mumbo jumbo. Despite the establishment’s overwhelming success, Kurt still felt like he was having to settle for ingredients that were less than, well, perfect. It is because of this immense respect and care for the food that Kurt sold Cafe Septieme and turned his dream of becoming self-sustaining into a full-blown reality. After a evening of reading Timmermiester’s material, I drifted into a gentle sleep that gave way to visions of

“You ever see ‘Deliverance’? Funny shit.”

At home in Kurt Timmermiester’s kitchen.

Dinah’s farmstead cheese smeared across a crusty stone hearth baguette that lay next to some cold juicy grapes and aged lamb prosciutto dripping with honeycomb. I had been whisked me away to place that felt all too familiar in my heart. It was sensory overload really, and I was yet to even lay eyes upon this utopia. After disembarking from the ferry, we anxiously sped down the unassuming country road that would soon reveal the passage to Kurtwood Farms. Upon entering the driveway, I took sight of Kurt with his prized cow Dinah, who gave me a gentle nod as I approached the two of them. “So this is where the magic happens, huh?” Kurt responded with a huge smile and firm handshake. We walked for a while among his immense garden beds that were overflowing with the season’s bounty of vegetables that looked simply orgasmic, to say the least. PAGE 21

From the garden, we ventured onward toward the pastures where the livestock was gently grazing. In the end, we found ourselves in the kitchen where various wine dinners had been held, highlighting all of what Kurtwood Farms has to offer -- which is nothing short of a spectacular meal that one would change one forever. I inquired as to why he no longer held these special dinners for those who craved it. He responded by giving mention to his flourishing artisan cheese factory that is meticulously tended to around the clock to ensure only the finest. Hopefully, again someday, he will bring all these elements into play with each other. Until then though, I can only close my eyes and try to imagine the scene of one of these events. No more than 15 people gathering on the warm summer evening, toasting together in appreciation of the fruits of Kurt’s labor -- presented to them in the simplest, most unadulterated of forms. From this experience, they are left with a feeling that cannot be obtained through all the glitz and glamour of today’s “exclusive dining experiences.” It’s the humble respect for where it is the ingredients come from and just how they taste in their purest form. It is my goal to do as Kurt has done: to grow my appreciation and respect for what comes from this Earth in its truest of true. VOLTAIRE JULY 2011

Innovation Meets Amplification

SKB Cases Unveils the First Amplified Pedalboard SKB Corp. has been known for innovative guitar pedalboards for more than 18 years. The latest innovation is the 1SKB-FN-8 FootNote – the first amplified pedalboard. Featuring a built-in 5W combo amp, designed by legendary amp designer Gary Sunda and a 6” Eminence® speaker, the 1SKB-FN-8 FootNote is like no other pedalboard on the market. The injection-molded pedalboard features: A 9” x 12” mounting surface,sloped for easier access to the rear pedals 1/8” AUX/MP3 stereo line input for external audio playback same cable tester found on the 1SKB-PS-55 StageFive Professional pedalboard Headphone Output for monitoring or silent practice and a Line Out that is ideal for live or recording use convenient internal speaker on/off switch that is is independent of the Line Out and Headphone Output modes for maximum flexibility Speaker Out that allows the FootNote to drive an external 4 ohm speaker load. SKB Music Sales - Orange, CA - 800.410.2024 -

Votaire Magazine July 2011  

Florence+the machine,pearl jam,she wants revenge,murder death junkies,death cab for cutie,moby,eddie vedder,gertrude stein,nakadate,inbetwee...

Votaire Magazine July 2011  

Florence+the machine,pearl jam,she wants revenge,murder death junkies,death cab for cutie,moby,eddie vedder,gertrude stein,nakadate,inbetwee...