A few life tips...
If you can’t read, then don’t read this. Home Brewed
It would be trite to say that this article puts beer on tap. Beer is quite often on tap. But if you’ve ever thought about brewing your own, Gary Marriner is here to tell you how...
“He was a wise man who invented beer.” Plato You’ll need to get hold of a few fundamentals. The first key thing you’ll need is a barrel in which to brew your amber nectar (I recommend the King Keg Top Tap Barrel). Next, you’ll need some ingredients. A lot of this comes down to personal taste. Myself, I like a medium ale with a full hops flavour and a touch of yeast. For less than £15 pounds you can get a good quality ingredients kit online. I recommend the Woodforde’s Wherry Bitter. It’s a damn fine specimen of a true English Bitter and goes down a treat with good cheese and cured meats. You’ll also need a sachet of yeast for the magic of fermentation. The first and most important thing is that you sterilize every-
thing - if there is any a bacterium or dirt in your barrel or pipes then they’ll mix in with your beer and make it foul. Rinse out your barrel and pour your concentrate in. Add 6 pints of boiling water and shake vigorously in order to dissolve all the concentrate. Next add 29 further pints of cold water and shake once more before adding your yeast. Give it one last shake and place the barrel in a dark area and regulate the temperature between 68 and 77 °F for 2 weeks (it is worth it). Collect together a group of friends and lovers and enjoy your first ever home made pint. It really is that simple! Check out www.art-of-brewing.co.uk for supplies. Good luck to anyone having a go and happy drinking to you all.
Beer just doesn’t do it for you? Try this on for size. If you’re the kind of person who knows what 5 o’clock feels like (whether you are of the super keen rower or the apathetic all night ditherer variety) you might want to check out this revolutionary new recipe. Described memorably by one man who claimed it was like being kicked in the throat by a donkey wearing Timberland boots, the Nutella with Coffee beans mix won’t leave you short changed in the energy boost department. To enjoy this elixir simply take the required ingredients (Nutella and coffee beans), mix thoroughly together and pop in your gob.
Welcome to the Way of Yo! Do you hate religious fanatics and just want to chill and get spiritual, then Yoism is the way for you. We believe in Yo, not the man who invented Yo Suishi! but an underlying natural order in the universe. God I hear you reply armed with your theological weaponry. Possibly, but we prefer not to use that name because of the incredibly powerful connotations that it lugs with it. How can God be restricted by his own term? So we prefer Yo. Also, we’re not actually entirely sure whether God is actually personal. Yoism is the world’s first “open sourced truth” religion. This means that all the decisions concerning belief and doctrine are decided for and by the people. No power crazy religious leaders armed with skilful rhetoric, commanding ideals and sharp hooks. Perfect social freedom, as laid out by Rousseau, in which the law is decided upon and passed by everyone in the society has always been a concept of mere abstract perfection, however, now in the modern internet age this is not only possible, but simple. The Open Sourced Truth Process allows for a dynamic religion that can ride the relentless march of progress. We don’t break the mould. We mould it. Come mould with us. Visit www.yoism.org.
VIVID 2nd Edition March 2008