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Arts & Shit Much ado about Caesar and the merry tale of two midsummer night’s comedy gentlemen for measure…the fifth By William Shakespeare Erm…some stars ‘Argh! A quote that I probably made up, but conveniently summarises my entire opinion of this show!’ [Unnecessary swear word] This show… turtally rawked! And yes, I’m writing how I talk. Forgive me, but it’s the only way I can express the downright goodness of this breathtaking show. It was more than good in fact, it was brilliant! It was the most groundbreaking, innovative, and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. There was a dog and everything… It was awesome. It was awesome! Awesomeawesomeawesome! Five stars! It was, however, that being said…awful. In equal measure. I can’t very well write five stars, someone might not agree with me. Hell, I’d look crazy. Sooo… Four stars. Upon entering the auditorium, I was confronted by an appalling piece of set which rather bizarrely sported the words ‘Safety Curtain’ on it. I struggled to see what this had to do with Shakespeare. I was disappointed. Now don’t get me wrong (I’m never wrong, I’m a reviewer), the lighting was bright, sufficiently so. Everything was ade-

quately visible. But this reviewer couldn’t help but notice that every few seconds the lighting effects flickered. Every so often they just…turned off. In fact, it was almost like clockwork. Flicker…flicker…flicker. It was downright distracting. An acquaintance later put this down to my blinking pattern. But I remain unconvinced. It was a shambles. Three stars. The technical side of things was on top form. The props were proper, the stage was…well, it was THERE… And the sounds! Well, the sounds sounded quite sound. All in all, well executed and…good. Now, having gone through all the bits that no-one really cares about, let me begin by picking out every single flaw in all your thespian friends, leaving you to pick up the pieces at the pub later tonight. The acting…was… blargh. The cast rocketed onto stage in a kaleidoscopic whirlwind of words and movement and… stuff. It was a veritable Vesuvius of vision. I could barely keep up. The costumes were great, they fitted like a glove. Except the gloves, for some reason. They

were abnormally large and quite frankly they looked ridiculous. Two stars. [Entire paragraph dedicated to one word] The dialogue was, however, lumpy at times and Monaghan’s portrayal of the [overuse-ofthe-adjective] protagonist felt empty and a little sans force. This may or may not have been down to his absence. He never turned up. And thus his performance was flawed. Yet not irredeemable. His poignant silences echoed like an echo in an echoey echoey tunnel. It kept me up at night. It truly did. Now please prepare yourself for my profound and thoughtprovoking conclusion. This show was solid, aside from the fact that the language didn’t make much sense. The chorus was solid, I commend their dedication and their concentration. Hell, they almost looked like real actors. But this show was somewhat flawed by its audience and a man in front of me had a ridiculous hat. It had a feather in it. It obscured my vision. One star, I’m afraid.

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By Joey Batey

ATH, HEAT MAGAZINE, SPORTS WEBSITES, PEOPLE WATCH, CROSSWORDS, ITUNES, FILMS, LOOSE

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