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INITIATIO

CANTUS

La velada comienza cuando el senior entra en la sala. Será nuestro amo durante el Cantus. El senior abre el Cantus, diciendo CANTUS IN. Tradicionalmente la primera canción que se canta es Io Vivat. Todo el mundo la canta de pie y con la mano en el corazón.

A veces, el senior señalará a alguien. Ese alguien tiene que cantar las primeras líneas de la canción que indique el senior. Cuando el senior diga AD OMNES, tiene que empezar a cantar todo el mundo. Si no sabes la canción, puedes callarte. No siempre se canta la canción entera, el senior indica qué estrofas se cantan con las siguientes palabras: AD PRIMAM. AD SECUNDAM. AD TERTIAM. AD ULTIMAM.

VERBUM Dado que el Cantus es una tradición y debes respetarla, siempre debes dirigirte formalmente al senior. Si quieres decir algo en público, tienes que levantarte y decir SENIOR, PETO VERBUM. Si el senior está de acuerdo dice HABES; si rechaza la palabra dice NON HABES. Si el senior dice SILENTIUM, todo el mundo deja de hablar, contesta TRIPLEX, y respeta el silencio. El senior decide cuándo te puedes sentar, diciendo OMNES AD SEDES. El resto contesta diciendo SEDIMUS. Cuando el senior quiere que todo el mundo se levante, el senior dice SURGITE, y todo el mundo contesta SURGIMUS.

TEMPUS Si quieres dejar la mesa, para ir al baño, tienes que dirigirte al senior y decir SENIOR, PETO TEMPUS. Si el senior está de acuerdo dice HABES, si no NON HABES. Hay que hacer una rima para ir al baño, con las palabras chinchilla y pene, y que tenga la estructura ABBA.

POTUM A veces (realmente muchas), el senior nos dice que bebamos, y lo hará en latín. Dirá las palabras PROSIT CORONA, entonces debes contestar diciendo PROSIT SENIOR. El senior dirá esto cuantas veces quiera y siempre ha de repetirse de la misma forma. Al final el senior puede decir: AD FUNDUM, con lo que todos deberán beber sus vasos hasta el fondo. AD LIBIDUM, con lo que cada cual puede beber lo que quiera Antes de beber hay que decir PROSIT SENIOR, PROSIT CORONA. Si quieres retar a alguien a beber tienes que decir PROSIT, X. Si X quiere, se levanta y responde PROSIT, Y, y se bebe un AD FUNDUM. No hagas eso en el principio del cantus porque debes sobrevivir. No está permitido retar al senior. Nadie te puede forzar a beber, bebe lo que quieras.


POENA

CANCIONERO

Si el senior considera que no has obedecido o que has roto alguna de las reglas, serás invitado a la palestra. El senior X, AD PISTUM, y el resto del Cantus tendrá que golpear las mesas y corear IN DE KAN. Deberás realizar un pequeño y divertido castigo, a menos que seas muy torpe.

Io Vivat

POSSAS

Beber Cantar Divertirte Escuchar al senior Usar condón

NON POSSAS Hacer palmas Fumar Usar el teléfono Lanzar cerveza Saltar sobre las mesas

Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas hoc est amoris poculum doloris est antidotum. Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas. Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas dum nihil est in poculo iam repleatur denuo. Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas. Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas nos iungit amicitia et vinum praebet gaudia. Io vivat! Io vivat! Nostrorum sanitas.

Gangnam Style

Oppan Gangnam Style Gangnam Style Na je nun ta sa ro un in gan jo gin yo ja Ko pi han ja ne yo yu rul a neun pum gyo gi nun yo ja Ba mi o myon shim ja ngi tu go wo ji nun yo ja Gu ron ban jon i nun yo ja


Na nun sa na ye Na je nun no man kum ta sa ro un gu ron sa na ye Ko pi shik gi do jo ne one shot te ri nun sa na ye Ba mi o myon shim ja ngi to jyo bo ri nun sa na ye Gu ron sa na ye A rum de wo sa rang su ro wo Gu re no hey gu re ba ro no hey A reum de wo sa rang su ro wo Gu re no hey gu re ba ro no hey Ji gum bu to gal de ka ji ga bol ka Oppan Gangnam Style Gangnam Style Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style Gangnam Style Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style Eh~ Sexy lady Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style Eh~ Sexy lady Op op op op Eh eh eh eh eh eh

Gu ron sa na ye A rum de wo sa rang su ro wo Gu re no hey gu re ba ro no hey A reum de wo sa rang su ro wo Gu re no hey gu re ba ro no hey Ji gum bu to gal de ka ji ga bol ka Estribillo Twi nun nom gu wi ye na nun nom Baby baby na nun mol jom a nun nom Twi nun nom gu wi ye na nun nom Baby baby na nun mol jom a nun nom You know what I’m saying Estribillo

Dragostea din tei

Jong su ke bo wi ji man nol ten no nun yo ja I te da shi pu myon mu ko ton mo ri pu nun yo ja Ga ryot ji man wen man han no chul boda ya han yo ja Gu ron gam gak jo gin yo ja

Ma-ia-hii Ma-ia-huu Ma-ia-hoo Ma-ia-haa Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc, Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso, Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Na nun sa na ye Jom ja na bo wi ji man nol ten no nun sa na ye Te ga dwe myon wan jon mi cho bo ri nun sa na ye Gun yuk bo da sa sa ngi ul tung bul tu ngan sa na ye

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei. Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai (BIS)


Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum, Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso, Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic. Estribillo

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Ma-ia-hii Ma-ia-huu Ma-ia-hoo Ma-ia-haa

Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take?

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei. Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei. Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai

Friday

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark) Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah, yeah, yeah

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend 7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly Fun, fun, think about fun You know what it is I got this, you got this My friend is by my right, ay I got this, you got this Now you know it


Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? Estribillo Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’) We-we-we so excited We so excited We gonna have a ball today Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes after ... wards I don’t want this weekend to end R-B, Rebecca Black So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat) In the back seat (In the back seat) I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah) Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!) (C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all Estribillo (BIS)

Thunderstruck

Thunder x10 I was caught In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder) I looked ‘round, And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder) My mind raced And I thought what could I do? (Thunder) And I knew There was no help, no help from you (Thunder) Sound of the drums Beatin’ in my heart The thunder of guns! Tore me apart You’ve been - thunderstruck! Rode down the highway Broke the limit, we hit the ton Went through to Texas, yeah Texas And we had some fun We met some girls, Some dancers who gave a good time Broke all the rules, played all the fools Yeah, yeah, they, they, they blew our minds And I was shakin’ at the knees Could I come again please. Yeah the ladies were too kind You’ve been - thunderstruck, thunderstruck Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck Oh, thunderstruck, yeah


Yeah Now we’re shaking at the knees Could I come again please. Thunderstruck, thunderstruck Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah Said yeah, it’s alright We’re! Doing fine Yeah, it’s alright We’re! Doing fine So fine Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah, Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck You’ve been thunderstruck, thunderstruck Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck You’ve been thunderstruck

Yo soy cani

Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani.

Hola, soy Su_Morenito_19 y aparte de ser cani soy el niño al que tu quieres me gustan las moto, el flamenquito y los oros y si me da la gana te cojo y te robo. Si el moreno te vacila tú te callas y lo asimilas soy el niño al que deseas, este cuerpo te chorrea y si quieres un consejo de tu “compi” el morenito calzaló con chulería para ser un buen surmanito... Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Camarón es mi ídolo y me gusta el reaggeton porque lo bailan las niñas moviendo el culo un montón ¿puedes darme un “eurito” o un “cigarrito”, surmanito? no me importa que no quieras, si no quieres te lo quito el morenito con su arte, no veas como lo parte no me tires más del moño que me vas a comer... (no, no, eso no) y me despido saludando a los “compis” de mi barrio al “cabeza”, al “chuki”, al “charli” y al “makako”, os quiero... Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani,


yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani. Yo soy cani, cani cani cani, yo soy cani cani cani cani cani.

Hijo de puta más

Meketrefe Payasa Botarate Puntaka Gilipipas No, no, Gilipipas, NO!, Hay que decir HIJO DE PUTA, eh?, HIJO DE PUTA niños, HIJO DE PUTA!! Bueno, no permitáis que la palabra HIJO DE PUTA desaparezca de nuestras vidas, de nuestras calles, de nuestras escuelas. HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. HIJO DE PUTA mas!! HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. Hay que decirlo mas. HIJO DE PUTA que sonoridad, es el Alfa y el Omega de la vulgaridad, cuando lo dices te quedas guay porque HIJO DE PUTA no tiene rival. Gilipollas es mas coloquial, y Cabronazo reconozco que no esta nada mal, pero HIJO DE PUTA es especial, porque es un concepto como mucho mas global. HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. HIJO DE PUTA mas!! HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. Hay que decirlo mas.

Hey?!, que me habéis llamado?! HIJO DE PUTA!! Más alto joder!! HIJO DE PUTA!! HIJO DE PUTA!!, Para saludar HIJO DE PUTA!!, Cuando te devuelven mal HIJO DE PUTA!!, Cuando quieres faltar HIJO DE PUTA!!, En plan hermandad HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. HIJO DE PUTA mas!! HIJO DE PUTA, hay que decirlo mas. Hay que decirlo mas.

Moves like jabba

Oh! He’s Jabba the Hut He’s a gangster 90% percent butt High Blood Pressure On this pleasure barge, he always lives large with pig bodyguards He never wears clothes Cuz he’s baller He puts on these shows Girl’s wear collars She danced for a bit Got dropped in the pit Now she’s rancor sh** cause he rolls like this Lick you with his tongue On the trap door Don’t get it on your face He has cold sores Move like Jabba I’m eating food like Jabba


Wish I could mooooooove… like Jabba No Jedi mind tricks can control him The force bounces off his double chin With them moves like Jabba He’s got big boobs like Jabba I gotta moooooooove… like Jabba [Leia] My little bro, is a jedi knight and you got my man stuck in carbonite So fat and greedy Prolly got diabetes Like Willfred Brimly So eat them frogs Cuz this won’t end nice Grab this chain, ooh Jabba, take your life You put me in this slave outfit My little bro will see this Can’t believe we kissed Ohhhhhh oh oh! I think he liked it [Han Solo] His big slimy tongue will seduce you laugh like Salacious Crumb when he shows you All these moves like Jabba I’m getting nude like Jabba I gotta mooooooove… like Jabba Goes to Space Buffets and eats it all That’s why he’s got really high Cholesterol With the moves like Jabba

We’ve got the moves like Jabba I’ve got the moooooooves… like Jabba

Never gonna give you up

We’re no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of You wouldn’t get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it Inside we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it And if you ask me how I’m feeling Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see. Estribillo (BIS) (Ooh give you up) (Ooh give you up) (Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give (give you up) (Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give (give you up)


We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it Inside we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it. Estribillo (BIS)

Una isla muy chachi Una isla muy chachi, una isla muy chachi, una isla muy chachi, una isla muy chachi.

El otorrinolaringólogo

El otorrinolaringólogo (ólogo) que se juntó con el neurólogo (ólogo) y al encontrarse el odontólogo (ólogo) tomaron una decisión. Llamaron a Pepe el radiólogo (ólogo) y a su compadre el entomólogo (ólogo) y acompañados del cardiólogo (ólogo) se fueron a bailar el son. Rico son, ¡qué son!

En la isla muy chachi, bajo una luna que es guachi, bailando con las chatis que no me dejan ni un poco tranqui.

Este que ustedes bailan, rico son, señora rico son. Este que ustedes bailan, rico son, señorita rico son.

Yo me pongo la crema sentado en la arena, por mi cuerpo serrano, el cuerpo del verano.

Oto, oto, otorrino, larin, larin, laringólogo...

Sácame de este agujero porque odio los esqueletos. Y si sigo tu plan yo me convierto en Lavaman, yo me convierto en Lavamaaaan...

Ay, mamasita, que no quiero ir al doctor, porque me hace pupa.

I just had sex

Sometimes, something beautiful happens in this world. (Ooooo! Akon, and Lonely Island yo.) You don’t know how to express yourself, so you just gotta sing. I just had sex, and it felt so good (felt so good). A woman let me put my penis inside of her. I just had sex (Hey!), and I’ll never go back (go back) To the not-havin’-sex ways of the past.


Have you ever had sex? I have. It felt great. It felt so good when I did it with my penis. A girl let me do it. It literally just happened. Having sex can make a nice man out of the meanest. Guess where I just came from. I had sex. If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best. When I had the sex, man my penis felt great, And I called my parents right after I was done. Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Guess what I just did? Had sex, undressed, just saw her boobies and the rest. (That was sure nice of her to let you do that thing.) Nice of any girl ever. (Now Sing) I just had sex, and it felt so good (felt so good). A woman let me put my penis inside of her. I wanna tell the world. To be honest, I’m surprised she even wanted me to do it. Doesn’t really make sense, but man screw it. I’m not one to argue with a good thing. She could be my wife. That good? The best 30 seconds of my life (my life). I’m always humbled by a girl’s ability to let me do her. ‘Cause honestly I’d have sex with a pile of manure. With that in mind, a soft, nice-smelling girl’s better. But she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater. So this one’s dedicated to them girls That let us flop around on top of them (yeah).

Near or far, whether short or tall, I wanna thank you all for lettin’ us fuck you. She was looking at her watch. (It doesn’t matter, I had sex.) But I cried the whole time. (It doesn’t matter, I had sex.) I think she might have been a racist. (It doesn’t matter, I had sex.) She put a bag on my head. (Still counts!) I just had sex (sex!), and my dreams came true. If you had sex in the last 30 minutes, then sing with me. I just had sex (everybody sing), And it felt so good (we all had sex). A woman let me put my penis inside of her (I wanna tell the world). I just had sex, and I’ll never go back (no no no) To the not-having-sex ways of the past. It felt so great. Na na na na. Home

The Star Wars I used to know [Darth Vader] Now and then I think of when I was in power Like choking people with the Force until they died But then you told them all my history And took away my masculinity


And had my character portrayed by subpar actors. You are now addicted to an overuse of graphics And making Greedo shoot first? Han shot first. So when you tried to have the Force make sense You introduced the midichlorians And what’s the deal with having me be dubbed over (Noooooooooo!) But you didn’t have to change it all. Make ‘em like they never happened and the fans are nothing I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a Bantha and that feels so rough No you didn’t have to make them blow Have your friends direct your movies and they’ll turn out better. You think that you don’t need them though What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know [George Lucas] Now and then I think of all the times I screwed fans over. I had them believing that the first three films were really done. But Star Wars will be done my way I don’t care what you have to say I think that they should let it go And they’ll never get the Blu-Ray of the Star Wars that you used to know [Darth Vader] You didn’t have to change it all. No more puppets, no more practical effects or nothin’ I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a wampa and that feels so cold. No you didn’t have to sell your soul

Do we really need to watch them all again in 3D? Jar Jar was an all time low What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know [x2] The movies (I used to know) The movies (What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know) (I used to know) (That I used to know) (I used to know) (That I used to know)

The pretender

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in... again The need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? I’m finished making sense Done pleading ignorance That whole defense Spinning infinity, boy The wheel is spinning me It’s never-ending, never-ending Same old story


What if I say I’m not like the others? What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays? You’re the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? (BIS) In time or so I’m told I’m just another soul for sale... oh, well The page is out of print We are not permanent We’re temporary, temporary Same old story Estribillo (BIS) I’m the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I’m the face that you have to face Mirrored in your stare I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right I’m the enemy I’m the hand that will take you down Bring you to your knees So who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Estribillo (BIS)

What if I say I’m not like the others? (Keep you in the dark) What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays? (You know they all... pretend) You’re the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? So who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you?

Knights of Cydonia Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh

Come ride with me, Through the veins of history, I’ll show you how god falls asleep on the job. And how can we win, When fools can be kings, Don’t waste your time, Or time will waste you, Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh


No one’s gonna take me alive, The time has come to make things right, You and I must fight for our rights, You and I must fight to survive, No one’s gonna take me alive, The time has come to make things right, You and I must fight for our rights, You and I must fight to survive No one’s going to take me alive, The time has come to make things right, You and I must fight for our rights, You and I must fight to survive.

Mi sexy chambelán

Hoy se abrió mi capullo, Gracias mama y papa Por fin llegaron mis quince, Es hora de festejar ¡Acompáñame! Chambelán de caramelo, suave por dentro macizo por fuera Vente a mis quince ya, a gozar la noche entera Si tu regalo no es grande te quedas afuera Vas a necesitar tener cuadritos y estar galán Si lo que estas buscando es ser mi sexy chambelán Vente a mis quince ya, vamos a celebrar, mi sexy chambelán Quiero dejar de jugar a la princesa Quiero to-to-tomar cerveza No usare corpiño nunca más, me compre braseares en el Aurrera Mi papa me compro mis aretes a trece meses sin intereses Hice la dieta del brócoli hervido, para entrar en este vestido Vente a mis quince ya, vamos a celebrar, mi sexy chambelán Vente a mis quince ya, te quiero disfrutar mi sexy chambelán El día que me bendiga la Virgencita, porque ya no soy una morrita Por primera vez me voy a depilar, siente mis axilas al bailar el vals

En el brindis chuparemos copas, pa’que se cumpla mi deseo de ir a las Europas Frente a la hummer rosa, pa’salir del quemacocos ¡Como diosaaaaa! Vente a mis quince ya, te voy a ser sudar, mi sexy chambelán ¿Te cuento un secreto? Sueño con ser tu quinceañera, yo también ando como burro en primavera Si te portas bien, te doy el honor, de ser el primero en ir al sur del Ecuador Todos los días escribo en mi diario, que podamos juntos irnos a un balneario Y cuando me veas entraras en shock, porque soy la flor más bella de Cococyoc Va haber cochinita y tamales de caviar Pero solo si llegas puntual Vinieron mis padrinos de Aberdin, me tregieron barnices del Walgreens Ya guarde mi última muñeca, prefiero derretirme en tu cuerpo azteca Si pudiera pedir un deseo, me gustaría que fueras güero Vente a mis quince ya, vamos a celebrar mi sexy chambelán Vente a mis quince ya, te quiero saborear, mi sexy chambelán ¡Vente, papá!

Cerveza

Un, dos, tres... Vamos a celebrarlo, y a cogernos una moña bebemos con comodidad, wooh! Una cosa que necesitamos sabeis de que hablamos Vamos a beber por la amistad, wooh!


En nuestra vida, es la mejor bebida Sin esta cosa andamos mal, wooh! De barril o de botella, de San Miguel o de Estrella dia o noche es igual, wooh!

cinco minutos más para la cuenta atrás. Hacemos el balance de lo bueno y malo cinco minutos antes de la cuenta atrás.

Vamos, abre tu boca ¡no hay pero que valga!

Marineros, soldados, solteros, casados, amantes, andantes y alguno que otro cura despistao.

CERVEZA - queremos una, queremos una mas CERVEZA - oro liquido, traigame una mas ¿No estas de buen talante? Bebe una cerveza grande y tus problemas volaran, wooh! Si quieres una buena fiesta ,es mejor con mas cerveza hasta todos vomitar, wooh! Vamos, abre tu boca ¡no hay pero que valga! Estribillo

Un año más

En la Puerta del Sol como el año que fue otra vez el champagne y la uvas y el alquitrán, de alfombra están.

Entre gritos y pitos los españolitos enormes, bajitos hacemos por una vez algo a la vez. Estribillo Y aunque para las uvas hay algunos nuevos a los que ya no están echaremos de menos y a ver si espabilamos los que estamos vivos y en el año que viene nos reímos. 1,2,3 y 4 y empieza otra vez que la quinta es la una y la sexta es la dos y así el siete es tres.

Los petardos que borran sonidos de ayer y acaloran el ánimo para aceptar que ya, pasó uno más.

Y decimos adiós y pedimos a Dios que en el año que viene a ver si en vez de un millón pueden ser dos.

Y en el reloj de antaño como de año en año

En la Puerta del Sol como el año que fue


otra vez el champagne y las uvas y el alquitrán de alfombra están.

Esta noche sexo haremos luego un guiso comeremos.

La danza del gigoló

Tumba ya, déjame tocar, mucho no te dolerá. Cual rapaz espíame yo no muerdo, acércate.

Es mi amor cual brontosaurio, una foca está sangrando. Es amor, no es un trucaje, quédate en mi garaje. Mi caballo montarás, mi semilla probarás. Este amor te lo he entregado desde aquí al “Velocirapto”. Yergo un hacha de pasión, cera pringa y da calor. Mi lujuria gozas ya ¿mi olor a macho aguantarás? Rosas rojas, violetas, azules, voy a tragarme tus yogures. Nunca me echo para atrás, quizá por eso fumo crack. Mi padre nunca me quiso... Calamares son mi amor huelen raro si hay calor. En mi culo hay sarpullidos, pica mucho, ven conmigo. El yogur se sirve frío, sin receta yo he venío.

De dolor y de placeres son tus gritos, mis presentes. Bronceadita está mi piel ¿esta sangre de quién es?

Beelzeboss Beelzeboss: I am complete! Tenacious d: (both) fuuuck Beelzeboss: Yes, you are fucked, Shit out of luck! Now i’m complete and my cock you will suck! This world will be mine, And your first in line! You brought me the pick and now you shall both die! Tenacious d: (jb) waaait waaait waaait you mother-fucker We challenge you to a rock off, (both) give us one chance to rock your socks off


Beelzeboss: Fuck! fuck! Fuuuck, the demon code prevents me From declining a rock off challenge! What are your terms? What’s the caaash? Tenacious d: (jb) if we win, You must take your sorry ass back to hell And also you will have to pay our rent Beelzeboss: And what if i win? Tenacious d: (jb) then you can take kage back to hell.. (kg) what!? (jb) trust me kage it’s the only way (kg) what the fuck are you talkin about? (jb) to be your little bitch Beelzeboss: Fine! Let the rock off begin hahaha! I’m the devil, I love metal! Check this riff, It’s fuckin’ tasty! I’m the devil i can do what i want Whatever i’ve got i’m gonna flaunt! There’s never been a rock off that i’ve ever lost! I cannot wait to take kage back to hell

I’m gonna fill him with my hot demon gel! I’ll make him squeal like the scarlet pimpernel!! Tenacious d: (jb) noooo! c’mon kage, bring the thunder (kg) there’s just no way that we can win that was a masterpeice (jb) listen to me(kg) he rocks to hard because he’s not a mortal man (jb) god dammit kage, He gonna make you his sex slave, Your gonna gargle mayonnaise (kg) noo (jb)Unless we bust a massive monster mamajam (kg) dude, We’ve been through so much shit (jb) de-activated lasers with my dick (both) now it’s time to blow this fucker down (jb) c’mon kage now it’s time to blow doors down (kg) i hear you jables now it’s time to blow doors down (jb) light up the stage cuz its time for a showdown (kg) we’ll bend you over then we’ll take ya to brown town (both) now we’ve got to blow this fucker down (kg) he’s gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down (jb) c’mon kage cuz it’s time to blow doors down (kg) ooooooh and who’ll piledrive ya, it’s time for the black out (jb) hey antichrist ah, beelzeboss, We know your weakness, ah rockin socks! We rock the casbah, and blow your mind We will defeat you, for all mankind You hold the sceptor, We hold the key


You are the devil, We are the D (both) we are the D (x16) Beelzeboss: You guys are fuckin lame! come on kage, you’re comin with me Taste my lightning suckers! Tenacious d: (jb) noooo! Beelzeboss: Ow, fuck! My fuckin horn! Ohh no Tenacious d: (jb) from whence you came you shall remain, Until you are complete again Beelzeboss: Nooooo! Fuck you kage and fuck you jables I’ll get you tenacious d!!

Kickapoo

.::Jack Black (Narrator)::.. A long ass fuckin’ time ago, In a town called Kickapoo, There lived a humble family Religious through and through. But yea there was a black sheep,

And he knew just what to do. His name was young J.B. And he refused to step in-line. A vision he did see of Fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam And all the planets did align. ..::Jack Black (Son)::.. Oh the dragon’s balls were blazin’ As I stepped into his cave. Then I sliced his fuckin’ cockles, With a long and shiny blade! Twas I who fucked the dragon, Fuckalizing fuckaloo! And if you try to fuck with me, Then I shall fuck you too! Gotta get it on in the party zone! I gots to shoot a load in the party zone! Gotta lick a toad in a party zone! Gotta suck a chode in the party zone! ..::Meat Loaf (Father)::.. You’ve disobeyed my orders son, Why were you ever born? Your brother’s ten times better than you, Jesus loves him more. This music that you play for us Comes from the depths of hell. Rock and roll’s the devil’s work, He wants you to rebel. You’ll become a mindless puppet; Beelzebub will pull the strings!


Your heart will lose direction, And chaos it will bring. You’d better shut your mouth, You better watch your tone! You’re grounded for a week with no telephone! Don’t let me hear you cry, Don’t let me hear you moan! You gotta praise The Lord when you’re in my home! ..::Jack Black (Son)::.. Dio can you hear me? I am lost and so alone... I’m askin’ for your guidance, Won’t you come down from your throne? I need a tight compadre Who will teach me how to rock. My Father thinks you’re evil, But man, he can suck a cock. Rock is not the devil’s work, It’s magical and rad. I’ll never rock as long as I am Stuck here with my Dad... ..::Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster)::.. I hear you brave young Jables, You are hungry for the rock. But to learn the ancient method, Sacred doors you must unlock. Escape your father’s clutches, On this oppressive neighborhood. On a journey you must go, To find the land of Hollywood! In The City of Fallen Angels,

Where the ocean meets the sand, You will form a strong alliance, And the world’s most awesome band! To find your fame and fortune, Through the valley you must walk. You will face your inner demons. Now go my son and rock! ..::Jack Black (Narrator)::.. So he bailed from fuckin’ Kickapoo With hunger in his heart. And he journeyed far and wide To find the secrets of his art. But in the end he knew That he would find his counterpart. Rooooock! Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock. Raye-yayayayaye-yock.

Lonely boy

Well I’m so above you And it’s plain to see But I came to love you anyway So you tore my heart out And I don’t mind bleeding Any old time to keep me waiting Waiting, waiting Oh, oh-oh I got a love that keeps me waiting Oh, oh-oh I got a love that keeps me waiting I’m a lonely boy I’m a lonely boy Oh, oh-oh I got a love that keeps me waiting


Well your mama kept you but your daddy love you And I should’ve done you just the same But I came to love you Any old time you keep me waiting Waiting, waiting Estribillo (BIS)

KEEP CALM AND

DRINK

BEER


Libreto Cantus 2013