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GRAPEVINE September 2016



In this edition…    

2016 CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS Melbourne Cup Luncheon…Tuesday November 1st SITUATION VACANT…SPOT SPRAYER AND RANDOM WEEDER A WORD FROM THE GIRLS…lots happening, a must read

From the Manager…Matt Chesterman (Manager) Last month I was welcoming the arrival of Spring with open arms, although it appears that Mother Nature has had other ideas. On a positive note, this time last year we had already been irrigating for 3 weeks and if current conditions keep up it would appear we would be some time from turning the sprinklers on. The Club is hosting the South Australian Amateur Championships on the 29th & 30th of September and the 2nd of October. While there are major tee closures on the Thursday and Friday of this event, it is also an opportunity to watch some of the S A’s best Male & Female amateur golfers in action. If you are looking for a game over the 29th or 30th please don't hesitate to use your club advantage cards and if you strike any difficulties please get in touch with me and I'll be happy to try to get you a game somewhere. The Club will also be looking for a small volunteer base to help with some spotting duties during the event. If you are able to help out please get in touch with me. At the time of writing, the Men’s Club Championships are being fought out and my congratulations go to all the category winners (see later report). Best of luck to all the Ladies who are taking part in the Ladies Foursomes Championships over the 26th, 27th, 29th & 30th of September. Rob Neagle has resigned from the position of VP Course for personal reasons. I would like to thank Rob for his efforts over the last 10 months and wish him well with his golf here at The Vines moving forward. As I mentioned last month, Committee Nominations are being sought from Wednesday the 21st of September. All members with voting rights will receive a notice that will also be pinned around the clubhouse and posted on the website. If you are interested in joining a committee, please don't hesitate to speak to either myself or any sitting committee member. It can be very rewarding taking an active part in shaping the future of your Club.

Main Club Sponsors…

(From the Manager…continued) The Committee of Management is introducing a Code of Conduct for members that will take effect from October 1st. Copies of this are available on the Members Section of the website or from Administration. I'm sure you'll agree that we need to provide a facility that is welcoming to all members and all members have a right to enjoy the facility equally. The Code will ensure that complaints will be dealt with consistently and fairly at all times. As usual we welcome your constructive feedback about the document. The Ladies Committee have taken ownership of the Melbourne Cup Lunch and it promises to be a great event again. See the advert further in this edition for information or to make a booking get in touch with Julie in the office. Finally, a friendly reminder that subscriptions are due at the end of September. If you haven't already done so, can you please signal your intentions to Julie on 8381 1822 or if you wish to transfer category. Here's hoping the sun comes out soon and we can all enjoy golf without the wet weather gear! Good Golfing

ON THE COURSE… from Robert Neagle (Vice President, Course)

It has come to my attention that a lot of players are ignoring the safety signs and hoops located on the right hand side approaches to the seventeenth bunkers and green. These signs were put there as a safety precaution to stop players exiting the seventeenth green into the playing line from the second tee block putting themselves in danger of being hit with a golf ball. It would be greatly appreciated if all players exited the green using the path on the left hand side. It may be a little bit longer but it is certainly a lot safer and saves on medical expenses. It is also very noticeable is that players are not repairing their damage to the course. This is taken from the Rules of Golf Etiquette. Care of the Course


Before leaving a bunker, players should carefully fill up and smooth over all holes and footprints made by them and any nearby made by others. If a rake is within reasonable proximity of the bunker, the rake should be used for this purpose.

Repair of Divots, Ball-Marks (Plug Marks) and Damage by Shoes

Players should carefully repair any divot holes made by them and any damage to the putting green made by the impact of a ball (whether or not made by the player himself). On completion of the hole by all players in the group, damage to the putting green caused by golf shoes should be repaired. The next strategic planned jobs for the course are, resurfacing the women’s third tee block, relocating sprinkler heads on the seventh fairway, 2nd & 17th rough, 18th mounding & greening left hand side, 13th fairway extensions.

Committee Nomination time is upon us again, please look out for the notice in your mail box towards the end of the week………………………….. nominations close on the 7th October.

Wiper Blade Service


How about nominating? A lot of satisfaction can be gained from being a committee member at our Club. Many of us have wonderful ideas. You can use your ideas in a very positive way by being a committee member. Come on...give it a go or at least talk to Matt or a current committee member.

Committee Nomination time is upon us again, please look out for the notice in your mail box towards the end of the week………………………….. nominations close on the 7th October.

A WORD FROM THE GIRLS…from Debbie Gill (Vice President, Women’s Golf)

Once again the weather has not been kind to us and some of our fields have been quite small.

We were lucky that the weather cleared for our Allen Jewellers Sponsor day on Tuesday 13th September. Once again thank you to Graeme Eckert for your Sponsorship and presenting

the prizes.

We’re coming into our busy time of year for the committee. Monday 19th we hosted 80 women for our Annual Fashion Parade. We not only had fashion clothing and Devonshire tea but also golf clothes, stalls with spicy nuts and popcorn, wine tasting, jams and chutneys, nail fashion and our own artist in residence Chris Creese displaying some of her artwork. Thank you to our wonderful models Bev Cross, Vicky Cammack, Heather Chapman, Bev Gaughwin and Shirley Maywald. Special mention to last minute model Anne Binnie who did a great job modelling the golf clothing. Thank you also to the committee ladies for making the lovely scones and working as a great team to make this a successful day. A double special mention must go to “Token Male” Howard Bertram who came to support Shirley and sat with all of the ladies. Also thanks to Lil Maddern our resident photographer. Foursomes Championships commence Monday 26th September, good luck to the 46 ladies who are competing. Thursday 6th October is our GSA Open Day. These days are a great way to show off our wonderful golf course and surrounds to our visitors. The booking sheet is filling up nicely. Thursday 13th October is the Marthax Shield event. This is an annual event between Thaxted Park and ourselves. We are playing at Thaxted this year, so we need as many players to ensure we keep our name on the Shield for another year! Expressions of interest sheet will be in the locker room. Thursday 13th October is also the first round of the 9 hole Challenge against Flagstaff Hill. We’re hosting this day and on Thursday 20th October Flagstaff Hill are hosting us. Once again we need as many players as possible to ensure a win. Expressions of interest sheet will be in the locker room. Make sure you keep Melbourne Cup Day, Tuesday 1st November free. We’ll be having a 4 Ball better ball comp with 8am shotgun start, 3 course lunch with complimentary glass of bubbles for $40. Non-Members and Non-Golfers are welcome. Cost is still $40 but if they are playing golf it will be an extra $35. If you do have a guest that wants to play, take the advantage of the 2 guest passes that all members are entitled to use per year. Prizes for Best Hat, Best Novelty Hat/Clothing and Best tie…Sweeps for the big race. This is not just a ladies’ day so, all of you men that would like to play, let the office know and we’ll make sure you’re teamed up with other players. Don’t forget to bring your wives, partners and friends along. We’ll soon be calling for nominations for our 2017 committee. Being on committee is rewarding and a great experience. It gives you an insight into how the club and our golf program is run. I recommend everyone to be on Committee at least once, as it gives you the opportunity to put new ideas forward and help continue offering our members a great golfing experience. If you have any queries, feel free to have a chat with myself or any of the other committee ladies.

Congratulations to Jan Windows for a hole in one on the 14th on 23rd August. Jan really cleaned up that day. She won the B Grade Monthly Medal, collected a $100 Voucher from Allen Jewellers, a box of balls and a trophy. Not to mention best nett score of the day and won the Joker Comp!! What a day! Karen Parsons (left), Jan Windows (right)

JUNIORS…from Wayne Corbett

More success For Our Juniors

Recently, four of our Juniors were selected onto the Primary School State Team after the competition held at the Adelaide Shores course. Congratulations to the following Juniors:(Boys Team) – Boston Price, Charlie Nobbs and Ryan Scovell (Girls Team) - Zoe Manton This is the second time that The Vines juniors have comprised a third of the State Team numbers and this clearly illustrates the success of our Junior Development Program and the expert coaching provided by Steve and Dillon.

Steve Krause…Club Professional


PETER ARTHUR COLLINS Passed away Friday 26th August 2016 Member for 19 ½ years

2016 MEN’S CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS A GRADE CLUB CHAMPION – Mark Potter 75, 78, 74, 77 – 304 A GRADE GROSS RUNNER UP – Paul Gregory 305 gross A GRADE NETT WINNER – Jordan Percey – 285 nett A GRADE NETT RUNNER UP – Gus Stewart 294 nett B GRADE GROSS CHAMPION – Michael Hammack 89, 87, 85, 91 – 352 B GRADE GROSS RUNNER UP – Zach Biggs 356 c/b Paul Whipp 356 B GRADE NETT WINNER - Louis Pretty – 293 B GRADE NETT RUNNER UP – Paul Whipp - 296 C GRADE CHAMPION – Mick Fitzgerald 87, 101, 100, 93 – 381 C GRADE RUNNER UP – Mal Fawcett 381 C GRADE NETT WINNER – Mal Fawcett 95, 92, 95, 99 – 293 C GRADE NETT RUNNER UP – Glenn Bargeus 295 VETERAN GROSS – Peter King 82, 88, 78, 84 – 332 VETERAN NETT – Mick Gibbie 307 SUPER VETERAN GROSS – Barry Dicker 84, 82, 84, 86 – 336 SUPER VETERAN NETT – Wayne Corbett 76, 72, 73, 78 - 299 JUNIOR GROSS – Jordan Percey 83, 79, 81, 82 – 325 JUNIOR NETT – Louis Pretty – 71, 79, 72, 71 - 293

Mark Potter

Paul Gregory

Michael Hammack

Wayne Corbett & Barry Phillips

Jordan Percey & Louis Pretty

Barry Phillips & Steve Krause

2016 MEN’S FOURSOMES CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS On Sunday we held the Men’s Foursomes Championship for 2016. It was a beautiful day for the 36 Hole Championship and all participants enjoyed the partner format. Corey Apthorpe (left) and Tony Nobbs (right) went into the event hot favorites and they didn’t disappoint with an opening round of 76 opening up a 4 stroke lead straight away. Their second round wasn’t as great – 79, but was still enough to win by 3 shots over Mark Potter and Gus Stewart. Congratulations to Corey and Tony.

RULE of the month…explanation …from John Ward


LOOSE IMPEDIMENTS “Loose impediments” are natural objects, including:  

stones, leaves, twigs, branches and the like, dung and, worms, insects and the like, and the casts and heaps made by them,

provided they are not:   

fixed or growing, solidly embedded, or adhering to the ball.

Sand and loose soil are loose impediments on the putting green, but not elsewhere. Snow and natural ice, other than frost, are either casual water or loose impediments, at the option of the player. Dew and frost are not loose impediments.

OBSTRUCTIONS An “obstruction” is anything artificial, including the artificial surfaces and sides of roads and

paths and manufactured ice, except: a. Objects defining out of bounds, such as walls, fences, stakes and railings; b. Any part of an immovable artificial object that is out of bounds; and c. Any construction declared by the Committee to be an integral part of the course. An obstruction is a movable obstruction if it may be moved without unreasonable effort, without unduly delaying play and without causing damage. Otherwise it is an immovable obstruction. Note: The Committee may make a Local Rule declaring a movable obstruction to be an immovable obstruction.


Committee Nomination time is upon us again, please look out for the notice in your mail box towards the end of the week………………………….. nominations close on the 7th October.

SPOT SPRAYER RANDOM WEEDER Due to the impending retirement of one of our hard working volunteers, who has been engaged on the eradication of Kikuyu and Parramatta Grass over many years, there is an opportunity for a responsible interested member to fill this position and provide ongoing support for the Green Staff in the weed control on the golf course. The work is not arduous, but requires someone with keen eyesight and be able to be trained (by the Course Superintendent) to identify and spot spray or weed out foreign grasses etc. as directed by Rob. The work hours are extremely flexible and can range from 1 to 7 or eight hours a week depending on your availability and arrangement with Rob. Some of the work is seasonal and does not extend for twelve months but requires regular attendance.

If any members are interested, even on a shared workload basis, please contact either Matt or Rob Millington to discuss the position.



As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the South West of Western Australia. As I was not familiar with the backwoods of the South West, I got lost; and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for

twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still's a man thing.


Mushrooms… She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream? "No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous." "Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK." So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite. All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success.

After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is


Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm." Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road. The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left. The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the Living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum..... "I can't believe that guy!" "What guy?"

"You know, that so and so @#!X@#% who ran over Spot; He never even slowed down."

From JOHN FORD… “ferder an’ ferder”

The foreman of an Irish road crew employed Paddy to paint the white lines down the middle of the road. He told Paddy that he should paint two miles of road in a day’s work. After the first day, the foreman was pleased to find that he'd painted four miles of road instead of the two required. On the second day, Paddy completed painting just 2 miles of road. The foreman was a bit disappointed, but didn’t complain as this was, after all, only what he’d asked for. On day 3, the foreman was disappointed to find that Paddy had painted only one mile of road, and so asked, "On yer first day, ya adid four moiles o’ road. On yer second ya did two moiles. But on yer tird day ya only did one moil. What’s up?” Paddy replied, "Well, oil tell ya what’s up, but I tought a clever bloke loik you woulda been able ta figger it out fer yerself!

Yer see, every day I gets ferder an’ ferder away from de paint can!”

From Richard Campbell… “a reason I’ve never heard”

A senior citizen drove his brand new sporty Mazda out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down the M1, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol car, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 140 kph, then 180 kph, then suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the police arrival. Pulling in behind him, the officer got out of his vehicle and walked up to the car. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding - a reason I’ve never heard – I’ll let you go.” The old gentleman paused then said, “thirty-three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, and I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the officer.

Junior Golf Sponsors…

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September 2016 grapevine (1)  
September 2016 grapevine (1)