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GRAPEVINE November 2015



ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING Monday 30th November 7.30 pm In this edition…

ON THE COURSE…rough, 14th fairway, greens, course presentation, safety Thanks for the privilege, Ted…good story from Ian Threadgold

Club Championship 2015…results and photos From Bernie…well done “Donna” …how embarrassing


FROM THE PRESIDENT…Don Johnson Members will shortly receive the 2015 Annual Report which shows that our financial position has improved considerably from the previous year. The reasons for this will be explained in detail at the Annual General Meeting to be held on Monday the 30th November 2015. Membership is still the most important part of our income and I am pleased to report that the resignation rate this year is the lowest it has been for a number of years. The new members this year have exceeded the number of resignations and the flexible membership continues to increase as it is popular with people who are not in a position to play golf on a regular basis. If we are able to maintain the course in its current condition I see no reason why membership numbers should not continue to increase. The Refurbishment Committee has commenced looking into various areas of the Club House where improvements can be made and are obtaining quotes on a number of items. I would not expect there will be any final decisions made until about April next year as there is quite a bit involved and many alternatives to look at. I am sure that painting will be required and we are asking for volunteers to talk to Matt or myself so we can have a list of names to contact at a later stage. The committee will be visiting other golf clubs and venues to assist with their recommendations. It was disturbing to learn that a few members are not adhering to the rules on the practice fairway. The rules are there to protect the safety of members and our neighbours. We did have an incidence earlier in the year when balls were hit into a neighbour’s backyard causing some damage…the Club paying for the repairs. It is up to every member to ensure that the rules are obeyed. An advice was sent out with the invoice for subscriptions giving details of the proposed changes to the Constitution as recommended by the Strategic Planning Committee. A motion to make these changes will be put to the Membership at the Annual General Meeting. The changes include the appointment of up to three people who are not aligned to any particular sub-committee but will attend the Committee of Management Meetings and receive copies of all sub-committee meeting minutes. These people will have their independent views on

(FROM THE PRESIDENT...continued) various matters that are discussed and will have voting rights at the meetings. If you consider that one these positions would interest you please attend the Annual General Meeting. Members will have noticed that we have been having trouble with the internet for nearly 2 months. We have a case manager and have also contacted the Telecommunications Ombudsman. Hopefully it will be rectified shortly but if not we will probably have no option other than to cancel our contract with Bigpond and find another provider. It was decided at the last meeting that as from the December the start time for Special Guest Days will be at 12 o’clock for the whole year. You will also notice that Rob Millington has another vehicle which was purchased from Southgate Holden. They gave us a great deal and I am sure they will assist members the same as Reynella Mazda does. Please give them some consideration if you are looking for either a new or second hand vehicle. Finally I would like to remind members that the Christmas Dinner will be held on the 12th December. This is usually a great night so please put a table together. If you don’t have a full table please contact the office and they will arrange seating for you.

RULE of the month…explanation …from John Ward

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY BALL IS MOVED ACCIDENTALLY BY MY PRACTICE SWING? DO I HAVE TO PLAY IT AS IT LIES OR DO I REPLACE IT? Lew was about to play his second shot on the first hole after smoking a magnificent drive down the middle of the fairway. Lew, who is renowned for his many practice swings before he addresses the ball, accidentally moved his ball with his third and final practice swing. Dowsky, who normally plays with Lew and was watching Lew intently, told Lew that he had moved his ball. However, he noted that he had not made a stroke at the ball. (See Definition of a “Stroke”) “Even though you had no intention of moving the ball with your practice swing you incur a penalty stroke (Rule 18-2a) for moving your ball in play, and your ball must be replaced”. Lew was not happy. He replaced the ball and without any practice swings lashed into his ball with a determined and expletive laden swing and topped the ball to within 100 metres of the green. “It’s not fair” said Lew. Poor old Lew.

ON THE COURSE‌ from Russell Virgo (Vice President, Course) Course Operations


1. The following areas on holes 8 and 16 are to be improved. On the LHS of the 8th and RHS of the 16th fairways the rough from the tree line to the edge of the fairway will be trialled with increased grass height and extra fertilizer applied to encourage further grass growth and to increase fairway definition. 2. During the dry months the cutting of the rough in between the trees will be limited as per the successful trial introduced during last summer thus assisting top soil retention.

14th Fairway

Work has begun to improve the playing surface and the appearance of the area. This project will also include the upgrading of the lower area of the 6th fairway. The blue markings in the area indicate the location of existing irrigation (pipes and system wires). The area from the Women's 14th tee to the green will be planted with Santa Anna grass and the thru roadway will be covered with mulch along with some adjacent low native grass covered mounds. The renovated, area which can been seen from multiple greens and tees, will not only improve the playing of both holes but will also visually complement the existing plantings in the area. Maintenance Program

Greens Surface Colour

The Poa annua grass control program will continue for the next two weeks. The spray that is best suited for our greens and also has less effect on the bent grass (the main surface grass) but can cause the green to change colour. The minor yellowing of the green surface

which should last for two weeks after application will not affect the surface roll on the greens. The green staff will continue to maintain the greens to a high standard using normal the practices of cutting and rolling.

Fairway Cutting

The fairways continue to be give us, the players, an excellent surface on which to display our skills. With the current growth the green staff will begin mowing diagonally across the fairways to assist with the control of thatch. On some fairways it may also be necessary to scarify. Course Presentation The appearance and enjoyment of the golf course, for members and visitors, can be a measured by the attention to detail that can be seen during the playing of a round. At this time of the year it is especially important to fill divots with sand as the Santa Anna grass will cover over in a reasonable time frame. Any divots not properly filled will leave a small grassy hollow‌not a desirable spot to find on the fairway or in the rough. Please assist the green staff, who will do the heavy preparation, by filling in any unfilled divots on fairways or in the rough and please repair plug marks on the green. Remember, on completion of your round, empty the bucket of any remaining soil in the barrel and then place the bucket in the storage rack.

There are many rubbish bins placed in suitable positions around the golf course, therefore it is requested that all rubbish, including fruit skins and cores, be deposited in one of them.

Safety The Wellness, Health and Safety Act requires the Club to maintain a safe working environment for everybody who under takes any task assigned. Players are reminded that the course staff have right of way at all times and volunteers have the same privilege.

Club Champion

Craig Rivett

Brian Wilson “Best gross for handicap 6-12�

Jordan Percey C Grade Champion

Ryan Francis B Grade Champion Junior Champion

Club Championship 2015

(“Latest News” Posted on 07 November 2015)

Final Round of the Club Championships was played Saturday 14th November in beautiful conditions at The Vines. A grand total of 182 players were included in the Club Championship across the 3 Grades. By far the most in recent years. Congratulations to Club Captain Barry Phillips and his vice Les Buckley as well as the Match Committee for the change of format this year, it was a resounding success. Also a massive thank you to Paul Sutcliffe who sacrificed his own golf to act as Course Marshall throughout the Championship. I am sure that all players appreciated his presence to keep the field moving! Now to the juicy stuff! We have a new Club Champion…Craig Rivett Craig went head to head with Marc Fulton, the leader from day 1, in what was going to be an old fashion matchplay contest from the 1st. Even though Mark Potter, Clayton Byrne, Corey Apthorpe and Luke Noble all threw what they could at the leaders they were just too far in front and couldn’t be caught. When Marc 3 putted from nowhere on 17 and Craig got up and down from the ball washer it was all tied going to the last tee. With a good crowd gathering behind the 18th green the scene was set for an exciting final hole! Both players hit 2 solid shots onto the putting surface giving themselves lengthy… yet gettable birdie putts. Marc putted first and left his about 3 feet short of the cup, not yet dead. Craig and his trusty side kick Matt Whitford read the putt carefully, and with the crowd deadly silent Craig rolled the putt almost into the cup, the ball did a 360 turn and stayed out somehow. Marc solidly holed his par putt and off to a playoff we went! With a sizable crowd in toe Craig made a quality birdie down the 1st, Marc made bogey. In Championship rules the playoff is always over 2 holes then if still tied then becomes sudden death. So with a 2 stroke buffer Craig calmly made a bogey clinch his first Club Championship. B Grade was another tight tussle this time between Mike Dutton and Club Cadet Ryan Francis. Going into the final round just 1 shot in front Mike played solidly, but unfortunately not his best golf of the Championship leaving the door ajar for the young Ryan to take the B Grade Championship by 2 shots after shooting a final round 90. Last year’s champion Ben Phelan put in a good performance to finish third. C Grade was won by another Cadet – Jordan Percey. Jordan edged out Jeff Sagrestano for the victory, both shooting quality 92’s in the final round to finish. These guys clearly won’t be in C Grade next year as they were a massive 14 shots clear of the rest. The Junior Champion for 2015 is Ryan Francis – 346 Gross. The Veteran Champion for 2015 is Barry Phillips – 319 Gross. The Super Veteran Champion for 2015 is Barry Dicker – 329 Gross. The overall Handicap Plate (the best net scores total for the Championships) was won by Jeff Sagrestano with 283 Nett. The best Gross for a player handicapped between 6 and 12 was won by Brian Wilson 320 Gross. Congratulations to all the winners of this year’s Club Championships and also congratulations to all the players that stuck in there and played all 4 rounds of the Championship. A massive achievement.

Thanks for the privilege, Ted. (from Ian Threadgold)

I had the pleasure of partnering Ted Cooling in the October Special Guest Day. Ted is a happy old bugger, who contacted a mysterious illness quite a few months ago and lost his sight. With the patience and perseverance of his good mate; cousin Bill Threadgold; he returned to golf early this year. Bill would take him out on the course in his cart and get Ted to have a couple of swings before he placed the ball in his swing path and Ted would have a hit. The result didn’t matter to Ted; he couldn’t see it anyway! Fresh air, a few beers with his mate and out of the house was all that mattered. Ted has a little more sight these days, although there is little expected improvement. He is legally blind but can manage a furry outline. What more does he need to play golf? Bill couldn’t play and asked if I could partner Ted and help him around. I was apprehensive as I didn’t know how much Ted could see and how I could help. It took a little while to understand my role but I soon realised I had to locate Ted’s ball and stand him near it so he could see it; help him select a club; line him up and suggest how hard he should hit it. And then tell him how the shot went. Putting was easier! I would show him his ball and then Ted would pace out the putt and I would line him up. The biggest challenge was making sure Ted didn’t walk into a sign or those bloody hoops. Walking downhill and keeping clear of the bunkers needed a little guidance too! Ted never complained if the results weren’t great. He couldn’t see anyway, so with a smile and a shrug we were off to find his ball. Ted had a good day. A few beers and a few hours out in the fresh air with his mates. 29 points with a regulation par and a 15 foot downhill slider putt on the fifth were highlights for us. And Ted didn’t see any of them. So next time a putt lips out; or my swing isn’t great; I am going to think of Ted and remember how lucky I am to be out in the fresh air with my mates and enjoying the game that I love. What else matters? Thanks for the privilege, Ted. You are an inspiration.

Ian Threadgold

SENIOR PENNANT 2015 The minor round matches were completed on Monday 9th November. The Vines played in Section B and was very successful finishing top of the table with six wins and only one loss. Finals start on Monday 16th November at Royal Adelaide with The Vines versus Blackwood and Tea Tree Gully versus Grange. Players to represent The Vines this season… Barry Phillips, Kevin Bartsch, Laurie McLaughlin, Alex McKinnell, Paul Sutcliffe, Nigel Coles, Rod Bell, Michael Gibbie, Tony Fagg…Team manager Barry Phillips. Well done guys, congratulations and thank you to for the wonderful way in which you represent The Vines of Reynella Golf Club.

From Bernie…well

done “Donna”

Mornington Peninsula 6th Annual Golf Classic 72 Hole Stableford Tournament…4th-9th October 2015 Friday 1st October saw Paul “Whipster” Whipp, Donny “Radar” Markwick and Bernie “Monika” Lewandowski set off on a 10 hour road trip, high on expectation of playing solid golf and honourably representing The Vines during this Tournament. I will be speaking to Russel Virgo, Vice President Course, about the Vines conversion to a Links style sand belt course? A Welcome dinner at Rosebud Country Club and a Presentation dinner at the prestigious National Golf Club. The Presentation dinner and entertainment was absolutely superb, the food was of high quality and plenty of it. There were many add on options and sightseeing opportunities, we went to a Sportsman’s dinner on Tuesday night held at the Mercure Portsea Golf Club. Standing on the balcony with a red wine in hand overlooking the course, we were presented with stunning views of the course and Portsea. This was definitely one of the better Tournaments we have played. We played in the morning fields starting Monday with St Andrews-Gunnamatta Beach, followed by Rosebud, The Dunes and Thursday the National, playing the Old course. We all had our favourites, mine was St Andrews but the boys believed the Old Course was better. Other courses played not part of the Tournament were Mornington, Moonah Links the Open Course, and RACV Cape Schanck Resort. We all liked the Open Course which was spectacular and has held a few Australian Opens, a tough course in the wind. The “Whipster” had an excellent Tournament coming equal 5th in “A” grade with a GA 10.5 and a score of 131 points, the only double digit handicapper in the top 5. Paul won the morning “A” grade competition at Rosebud with 37 points. Paul represented The Vines in a congenial and professional manner, as did I. My Tournament was mediocre coming in at equal 24th in “B” grade. Finally, Donny who like me was in “B” grade had a shocker only one place off the NAGA (“Squizzy” take note, a new contender).

As to Donny’s representation of the Club there was a questionable incident on Friday at Safety Beach where he did play some good golf.

Donny played an exceptional shot over water on a Par 3 to land 1 foot from the pin. Making the birdie putt he quickly wrote his name on the “Nearest To Pin” marker and boasted “no one will get inside his shot”. Happy in the thought he will be finally claiming a prize, nearest the pin, the highlight of his trip, and on the way back to good golf, he was happy. At the Presentation when going through the nearest the pin prizes they called for Don Marwick, the winner on the 17th. There was a slight pause by the announcer believing he had made a mistake, then came the announcement “DONNA Marwick” to the stage. Unbelievably, Don promptly rose to his feet and proceeded in haste to the stage ready to claim his prize, never realizing this was for the women’s nearest the pin, oblivious to the announcement for “DONNA” Markwick. Undeterred, Donna stood proudly on the stage eager to receive her prize. After all he or she was the nearest to the pin and does it really matter if it was a bloke or lady. After some prolonged deliberations, and the fact no lady was game to claim the prize she or he was given the prize by default. Don politely curtseyed and accepted a nice bottle of red, which we all enjoyed with her that night. All we can say, is WELL DONE “DONNA”.

From Bernie‌The

Pilot and the Priest‌

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven? ' The guy replies, 'I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston.' Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years.' Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom. 'Just a minute,' says the good father. 'That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be? 'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'

Next night is Wednesday 25th November starting at 7.30pm. We want to acknowledge Alfred James Funerals who has sponsored this event, helping us with new equipment, such as a new projector and bingo machine. Bring a friend to play. Remember, the more people, the more the prize money will be! Come early for a meal in the Bistro.

From Bernie‌Q&A s!! These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website. The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) _________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA ) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Try our Bistro Dinner Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Sunday from 5.30pm

Clayton has settled in well here at The Vines and his kitchen team continues to grow! The food has never been better and we invite locals & members alike to come down and enjoy the wonderful setting that is The Vines Golf Club. In addition to our fantastic summer menu, on Wednesdays you will find Steak night where chef sources some delicious rump steak, Thursdays is $12 Schnitzels and Sundays a $12 Roast of The Day. Call 8381 1822 to make a booking.

Lunch Wednesday to Sunday from Midday until 2.30pm Our full menu is available for lunch on the weekend as well as our new lunch menu. Don’t forget about $12 Roast on Sunday, a simple way to get the family & friends together for a carefree celebration. As usual bookings are recommended on 8381 1822

Junior Golf Sponsors‌

Main Club Sponsors…

Club Sponsors… Christies Beach

Happy Valley

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November 2015 grapevine  
November 2015 grapevine