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ON THE

GRAPEVINE December 2015

Email: info@vinesgolfclub.com.au

Web: www.vinesofreynella.com.au

Editor’s comment…

Thank you to Julie for her editorial guidance and assistance and many thanks to all of our “reporters” for their contributions and to our readers for their support. “On The Grapevine” wishes all members, staff, sponsors and their families the compliments of the season.

FROM THE PRESIDENT…Don Johnson Following the 2015 Annual General Meeting it is very pleasing to advise that nearly all of the positions on the various Committees have been filled including two of the new “Independent” positions. May I take this opportunity to thank the people who have volunteered to give up their time to ensure that the Club will continue to prosper? Those members who have not been on a Committee before will find it rewarding and understand what is required to run a Club like ours. If any member has an issue with something at the Club please do not hesitate to contact the respective Vice President. Rob Millington has advised me that as at 10th December the new bore has produced 31 megalitres of water…a great result. The extra water has been put to good use. The result can be seen in the quality of the fairways and surrounding areas which It appears that we are in for a very dry summer and with the extra water the course should continue to be maintained at its current level. Rob is carefully monitoring the water level above the pump and if we can continue to pump water until at least the end of February it will certainly justify the money spent on this bore. On the 15th December we held a meeting of the Committee of Management and all SubCommittee members to make sure that they know each other and to discuss the way we should operate the Committee system. Our aim being to streamline communication between the various Committees.

Main Club Sponsors…


(FROM THE PRESIDENT...continued) A Strategic Plan and Governance are the two most important items that a Club must have and I will make sure they are always on the top of our priority list. Members may have noticed that we have been advertising in the Wedding section of the Sunday Mail each week. I am pleased to advise that two weddings have been booked for next year. If you know of anyone looking for a venue for a wedding or any other function please get them to contact Matt as our prices are very reasonable compared to other venues in our area. Finally it appears we have solved the internet problem that we have had for nearly 3 months. It took a letter to the CEO of Telstra for them to send out a technician who was able to tell us where the problem was. Thanks to Ian Hall, the person who looks after the Club’s computers, he was able to make some adjustments to our system that appear to have corrected the problem. In the past three months there have been instances where members have spoken to fellow members and visitors to the Club in an inappropriate manner. Due to this behaviour the offended people have either left the Club or joined another club. This is unacceptable. In the future if any member has a problem on the course the correct procedure is to contact the Pro Shop who will handle the matter. We have always been known as a friendly Club and I hope that this image will continue in the future. From what we know the actions taken has cost the Club at least $7,000 in subscription income. I believe that the past year has been a very productive year for the Club and I look forward to this continuing during 2016.

May I take this opportunity to wish Members a Very Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous 2016? PS…If anybody knows of a member or somebody else that does work with gyprock could details be given to the office please.

MEMBERS OF COMMITTEE...2015/2016

Following the Declaration of Office Bearers by the Returning Officer at the Annual General Meeting on Monday 30th November… Committee of Management:  President………………………………………………….Don Johnson  Captain…………………………………………………….Barry Phillips  Vice President – Finance…………………………….Rob Dowling  Vice President – Women’s Committee..………..Deborah Gill  Vice President – Course……………………………..Robert Neagle  Vice President – Hospitality…………………………Wayne Lines  Vice President – Commercial Activities…………Rod Gorton  Vice President – Membership………………………David King  Independent Committee Member………………..Jim Sundquist  Independent Committee Member………………..Vicky Cammack Members of Sub Committees:  Vice-Captain……………………………………….Les Buckley  Finance……………………………………………..Robert Dickson, Michael Windows  Course……………………………………………….Peter Shaw, Rod Bell  Hospitality…………………………………………..Pam Baverstock, Heather Chapman  Women’s Golf………………………Karen Parsons (Captain), Pam Deacon (Vice Captain)  Commercial Activities…………………………..2 positions unfilled  Membership………………………………………..Barrie Whennan, 1 position unfilled


SOCIAL NEWS…from Wayne Lines (Vice President, Hospitality)

Members Draw…The sum of $700 was won two weeks ago, so we start again with this coming Friday 18th December worth $275. This will be the last draw until January 8th 2016 due to public holidays. Our Christmas Dinner was held on Saturday 12th with over 100 attending. It was a good night, for some it was a very good night with comments like “we should not program the Ham & Turkey Ambrose the next day". Well done to Bar and Kitchen staff as well as Matt and Julie for making the evening such a success. Special mention to the “tall bloke" for the dance floor entertainment. Ham and Turkey Ambrose…Weather wise a good golf day, with some very good scores. Mixed winners with a nett 49.25 points; Ryan & Lee Scovell, Andrew Footner & Wally Waniarcha. Open winners with a nett 53.875 points; Allan & Clayton Byrne, Luke Noble & Simon Hoey. The competition for minor places was very tight and well done to all winners and competitors including those that "hit the wall" after too much Xmas cheer. Twilight golf...The last night for 2015 competition is December 17th. We will resume again on Thursday 7th January at normal time 3.00pm to 6.00 pm.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all members and family. Special Thank you to members who supported our social functions and members draw each week and to Pam, Heather, Matt and Julie for the help given since I took over the role.

From Bernie…

(Bernie with his friend)

FLORIDA OR THE MOON Two blonds living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blond says, 'Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?’ The other blond turns and says, 'Helloooooo, can you see Florida?'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.' The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you? 'Well, no,' she said, 'I'm actually a blond.' 'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

IN A VACUUM A blond was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’ She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


A WORD FROM THE GIRLS…from Debbie Gill (Vice President, Women’s Golf)

Well, another year has flown by, hope you are all prepared for the festive season. I for one am already hanging out for Boxing Day, watching the Cricket and the Sydney to Hobart race, lolling around on the couch!! We’ve had a wonderful year and the last two events on our calendar have now been completed. 1st December saw the ladies celebrate St Andrews Day. There was a lot of tartan to be seen on the course. We had a nearest to Nessy Pin on 6th and spot the Nessy on 18th. There was also a ‘guess what was under the kilt’ competition. It was great to see the ladies get into the spirit of the day. Thank you to the Ladies Committee for decorating the clubhouse on Monday 7th, ready for the upcoming Xmas functions. Tuesday 8th was our Xmas Party day. This is a great day where we invite members who have recently retired, ground staff, office staff and pro shop staff, as a thank you. We dress up, play 9 holes of golf and have a wonderful lunch. Thanks again to Clayton and his staff and the bar staff who looked after us all so well. The theme this year was dress as the first initial of your first name. The ladies really excelled this year. We had a martian, angel, devil, teacup, Kermit, an M&M, Red Riding Hood, jail bird, tailor, convict, Dame Edna, Laurel and Hardy just to name a few. Once again Father Christmas arrived, this year though he was greeted by a very interesting lady of the night which was quite a shock to the mild mannered naïve Santa! This year he handed out some very special gifts to some ladies who had some interesting experiences during the year. Looks like next season there will be more spies about to tell Santa funny stories that happen throughout the year. The ladies’ competitions have finished for this year. Therefore, Tuesday’s competitions will be run by the Pro-Shop and are open to everyone. Our program will recommence on Tuesday 5th January, with our Opening Day on Tuesday 1st March. At this time, I would like to take the opportunity to wish you all a very

Merry Xmas and a Safe Healthy 2016.


From Bernie‌

(Bernie with his friend)

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.


RULE of the month‌explanation ‌from John Ward

RULES OF GOLF -- 33rd Edition (Effective from January 2016) The R&A Rules Limited and the USGA have spent the last four years reviewing the Rules of Golf and have produced an up-dated revised 2016 edition for all golfers to use and apply while playing golf. Copies of the revised edition are now available from the Office. It is recommended that all members replace their old Rule Book with the new revised edition. There are some important changes in the 2016 edition that will effect club golfers, the principal changes are summarised on pages 13 to 15. A couple examples are; # Long handled Putter Rule 14-1b. Anchoring the Club # Ball at rest Moved Rule 18-2b has been withdrawn # Appendix IV Devices and other Equipment Rule 14-3 has been amended to provide for the use of certain equipment (including electronic devices). See Section 5. Distance- Measuring Devices, explains precisely what can and how a multi-functional device (e.g. a smartphone or PDA) may be used as a distance -measuring device. Every player should keep an up to date copy of the Rules of Golf in their golf bag for quick reference, however, it is suggested that they read the book first to at least familiarise themselves with the basic rules of the game. Give yourself a Christmas present a pick up a new Rule Book from the office.

Merry Christmas and a good year of golfing during 2016.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from Steve Krause & the Pro Shop staff


A very Merry Christmas to you all!

From John Ford… A prospective husband in a book store, “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’”? Sales Girl, “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”. Someone asked an old man, “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret?” Old man, “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.”

Junior Golf Sponsors…


Club Sponsors‌ Christies Beach

Happy Valley

Pump Technology Services

Hub Shopping Centre

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