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GRAPEVINE August 2015



In this edition… 

From the Manager… NEW SPONSORS...please support them

ON THE COURSE…greens renovation, rainfall

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Next night is Wednesday 26th August RULE of the month… DID YOU SEE THAT? MY BALL MOVED NOMINATE for COMMITTEE

Three Wires Make a PAR (FECT) Three...”what a story”

FROM THE PRESIDENT…Don Johnson It is with pleasure that I am able to advise that we have added two new sponsors to our list.

Thanks to Wayne Corbett and Rob Dowling…Fairmont Homes have agreed to sponsor our Junior Development Program and will cover costs associated with our juniors competing in the McMillan Shield and the Sharp Cup competitions next year.

Michael Burnside from The Vision Hub Optometrists situated at Shop 31 in the Hub Shopping Centre have also become sponsors of our Club. Please support our Sponsors whenever you can. At the last Committee of Management meeting it was decided to engage two interior designers. They will give us ideas for the upgrading of the entrance and the interior to the clubhouse. The carpet and some of the furniture are past their prime and I am sure that everyone will agree that the time is right to improve our facilities for the benefit of members and to attract functions to the Club. Ideas will be displayed so that members can share their thoughts with the Committee before any work is started. At the end of the financial year there will be a change in the way that our loans are shown in the Balance Sheet. With interest rates currently being low it has been decided to amalgamate the three debts we have into one loan on a fixed rate of 5.45% with repayments to pay off the loan in 5 years. It is important for the future that we look at the Club being debt free as soon as possible. There have been a number of comments about how the Twilight competition was conducted last year and that we should go back to how it was run some years ago. Wayne Lines and his Committee will be discussing the various issues at a meeting this month and will report the new format in the September Grapevine. I have been speaking to Ed Oniszk today (13th August). He is well known to a number of members. Ed had a heart attack a week ago and is now home on the road to recovery. Ed asked me to pass on his thanks to the large number of members who have made contact with Ed and his wife regarding the state of his health. Ed advised me that he will take a couple of months to recover and that he will be re-joining the Club when he is fit enough.

(FROM THE PRESIDENT…continued) It is time to remind members that the Club can cater for any type of function. Our prices are very reasonable when compared with similar facilities. Last Saturday night the Wine Club that we are members of had a function at the Club and the feedback was terrific…”the service was excellent and the food was of high quality for the amount that was paid”. Please spread the word as this is one area that we could increase our income.

2015 Junior Pennant Team Presentation Night…from Wayne Corbett On Friday night 17th July each member of our 2015 Junior Pennant Team was presented with a Certificate of Appreciation for their valuable contribution to the Junior Pennant Team during the 2015 Sharp Cup (Div 2) competition. Brief details of each player’s performance were outlined prior to them being presented with their Certificate by Mr Robert Neagle, a generous supporter of our junior golfers. After all Certificates had been presented, Mr Neagle then presented the “Robert Neagle Perpetual Trophy” to the most improved junior in etiquette and attitude to the very surprised and deserving winner, Lingli Courage. A voucher to the value of $250 is also provided with the trophy.

MEN’S FOURSOMES CHAMPIONSHIP (Derek Sibbin Trophy) Mark Potter and Matt Bell have won the Foursomes Championship for 2015. Played over 36 holes in pleasant conditions the guys shot a total of 156 Gross, to beat last year’s winners Corey Apthorpe and Tony Nobbs by 4 strokes. Matt and Adrian Whitford took out the nett section from Rohan Haslam and Rod Gorton.

From the Manager…Matt Chesterman (Manager) Hi Members, The rains were welcome when they finally arrived this winter but as I’m sure you’ll all agree it can warm up again anytime it likes! Welcome aboard to our three newest Sponsors…Fairmont Homes, Vision Hub

Optometrists and Pump Technology Services. Fairmont Homes have come on board with a great contribution to our Junior Development

Program, be sure to contact them if you are looking to build or check out their development just down the road in Woodcroft. Michael Burnside is the Optometrist at The Vision Hub, located in The Hub Shopping Centre. The Vision Hub has just come on board this week and we will notify you of any members specials as they come to hand.

Pump Technology Services have kicked in with a generous sponsorship to partially fund the bore transfer project. For all your pumping needs, don’t hesitate to give members Jeff & Nathan a call to discuss your requirements on 8377 0700.

If you deal with any of our sponsors please don’t hesitate to tell them that you are from The Vines Golf Club and if you have any feedback I’d love to hear about your experiences. If you or anyone you know could be interested in sponsoring the club, please don’t hesitate to get them to call the club and speak to me, I’m only too happy to outline the opportunities for them. Whilst on the topic of sponsors, Joe Maiorana from Harcourts Tagni Real Estate will give you a bonus $500 on your house account for every home that you list with him until the end of November, subject to sale of course! Give Joe a call on 0407 275 960 if you are interested. Also a big thank you goes to Harcourts Tagni & Joe for suppling a drone to take some great aerial footage of our course. Keep an eye on the Facebook page as we release the footage of the course over the coming weeks. With the cold weather officially set in there is nothing better than a hearty meal by the fire. Currently we have a deal in the Bistro for 2 serves of lamb shanks with winter vegetables and garlic mash potato with a bottle of Grant Burge Shiraz for just $49, normally in excess of $60. You don’t have to do anything to take advantage of this offer except pop in, although bookings are appreciated. In line with Responsible Service of Alcohol, you’re welcome to take home your unused portion of wine, as we encourage you to drink responsibly. Before we know it our AGM will be upon us and now is the time to start thinking about nominating for election onto the Committee of Management or one of the SubCommittees. This year being an odd year the Club will be seeking nominations for President, VP Finance, VP Course and a one year term for VP Membership & Hospitality. There is also an opportunity to be elected onto all sub-committees. All roles can be very rewarding for those get involved, however it is best to be armed with information prior to putting your hand up. If you are interested please don’t hesitate to have a chat to me or approach one of our current committee members, we’ll only be too happy to help! Stay warm & good golfing!


Three Wires Make a PAR (FECT) Three…from Bernie Its Saturday the 1st August, a Monthly Medal day to be played on a bleak, cold, wet, and windy morning. Only the mentally tough, resilient in character, will venture out this morning in torrential rain. A few tough nuts fronted including Bernie “Monika” Lewandowski inspired by “Port Pirie Power” wins along with his loyal side kick, Don “Radar” Markwick. Both arrived full of hope, eager to play and overcome the challenges of the day. Given the number of no shows, it was a great opportunity to snare the medal. Huddled under the veranda were the band of brothers, Barry “Bazza” Dicker and Wayne “ Willunga Flash” Corbett deep in conversation. Each trying to convince the other to play. The “Willunga Flash” was multi-tasking, intently listening to young “Louis”, a Vines junior’s lively account of the putt which never dropped, a 14 footer on the last to snare the money, pocket money that is ? During the account “Bazza” engaged his mind by measuring the rate of increase of a large puddle forming on the path against the precipitation rate, concluding the puddle was increasing at an exponential rate, and it would rain all day. At the same time, Alan “Grumpy” Johnston’s scientific approach was simply to stick out his hand stating “the rain is getting heavier, it will rain all day, no golf for us today”, in essence confirming “Bazza’s” scientific hypothesis. Upon hearing this amazing revelation by “Grumpy”, Simon “Tickets” Hoey and David “Cappo” Gully promptly left along with the band of brothers. Immediately upon their departures the rain ceased, wind dropped, and a glimmer of sunshine began to appear. Was it just good luck, coincidence or a miracle, we will never know? Unfortunately their pursuit of personal comfort left young “Louis” high and dry, his playing partners having spat the dummy big time. No golf today for young “Louis”. Paul “Paul Maximus” Sutcliffe called “Monika” and “Radar” to the first tee, but who was game to play around with them? Rohan “Ronin” Haslam and Roy “Rob Roy” Galbraith emerged from under the shadows and comfort of the veranda. “Pick Me” they yelled in unison, they were up for the challenge despite “Radar” warning them about “Monika’s” complete lack of etiquette. The Golf played was challenging, all having a difficult time except for “Ronin” who was silently building a good round in very demanding conditions. Arriving at the Par 3, 14th Hole, “Ronin” and “Rob Roy” were exhausted after 13 holes of Monika’s relentless diatribe about bad luck and trees hit. Whatever happened to the theory trees are 90% air? If ever there was a mantle for the “most unluckiest golfer”, then “Monika” was the chosen one. The Golf Gods were always against him, how unlucky the putts never dropped, the many shanks always ended in unplayable lies or bunkers, how unlucky can a golfer be? “Monika” colourfully informed his partners that all trees and shrubs should go, The Vines should become a links course, and he would make representations to Vice President- Course, Russell “Scorpio” Virgo, so he could begin immediate implementation. At the Par 3- 14th, etiquette required “Ronin” to be first off the tee, but “Monika” jumped in preparing to tee off. Into a gale, a pin tucked at the back, a demanding shot.

Silence fell upon the tee as “Monika” went through his pre-shot routine. Visualizing another hole in one “Monika” began an elegant back swing, the downswing gained tempo, and there was crisp contact sending the ball flying with a gentle hint of a draw. Then that dreaded sound, “PING” as the ball hit the wire, spinning out of its trajectory, crashing into the rough. “Ronin” claimed it was a perfect swing the ball destined to land near the pin, and how unlucky to hit the wire after such a fine swing! Now, etiquette required “Monika” to make way, go to the back of the que, allowing “Rob Roy” to tee off next. However, “Monika” not big on etiquette waved off “Rob Roy” and again began his methodical tee off preparation. That elegant backswing, followed by a rhythmic but accelerating downswing, solid contact and then lift off. Does lightning strike twice, you bet, “PING” another but different wire hit, the ball spinning into the hazard. Unlucky was the cry from “Ronin”, Radar” and “Rob Roy” remained silent. The Golfers on the 2nd tee witnessing history unfold, searched and retrieved the ball. “Monika” now slightly rattled, retired to the back of the que, finally allowing his playing partners to tee off. For the third time, “Monika” reluctantly came to the tee. Anxiety and tension began to seep into his fragile mind, was it possible to repeat a perfect swing. Of Course, after all he had gone from a 12 handicap to a 16, the odds were in his favour. The perfect swing repeated, solid contact, and the ball flew like an arrow. Then unbelievably that sound, “PING” the ball hit a different wire again, crashing down on the fairway, short of the bunker. Three wires in a row, each time a different wire, what were the odds, it has never been achieved before, how unlucky can you be. Surely the most unluckiest golfer ever to play at The Vines? For the fourth time, a shattered “Monika” teed up, now firmly gripped by fear. Would he ever get off this windswept tee? Looking at the anxious faces of his companions, their expressions said it all, we want to be home by Christmas! “Monika” looked to the wires, course management was needed, was there a gap he could exploit? Yes, there was a gap, it just required a precision shot. He saw an opening and he was going for broke. Visualisation complete, the swing under immense pressure was good, the ball sailed unimpeded through the gap in the wires, finally landing to the right of the green. Raucous cheers and hearty applause from his playing companions and those on the 2nd tee erupted, jubilation, finally they were going home! “Monika” surveyed the terrain, the ball had finished on a steep slope. The ball well above his feet presented him with a difficult up and down. The chip was good but too much spin, still 12 feet from the pin, a nasty sliding downhill putt for par. “Monika” carefully picked his line and took his stance. One more look down the line, and the putt was away, rolling, gathering speed. It better go in otherwise its 5 feet coming back, bingo, finally a putt that dropped. Just how unlucky can a golfer be, 6 shots to get a 3, walking away with Par, surely the most unluckiest golfer at The Vines!

ON THE COURSE… from Russell Virgo (Vice President, Course) Greens Renovation


The spring renovations will commence on Sunday 6th September starting at 1.00pm continuing all day on Monday 7th September with completion on Thursday 10th September 2015. There will be a change to the usual time frame. The greens will be cored and sanded using the “Sweep-nFill Greens Broom” as per previous renovations. In addition greenstaff will also scarify to break down the thatch build up in the top grass surface. Note: On Sunday the 6th the first tee will be closed from 1.00pm and on Thursday am it is expected that 5 or 6 holes, on the back nine, will be out of action for short period on time.

*Surface Colouration

The Poa annua control spraying on the greens will begin in the weeks leading up to the renovation. The growth retardant previously used is no longer certified for this use due to revised regulations that apply to the turf industry. Therefore our approach to the Poa annua control will be to use a knock down control material that is registered for turf use. This new product will cause some yellowing of the Poa annua after application. The perfect time to apply the new material is prior to renovation so that there will be less effect on the "Bentgrass" (the main green surface). The yellowing will not affect the surface roll on the greens but will be a little unsightly when compared to normal. Safety Notice The Wellness, Health and Safety Act requires the Club to maintain a safe working environment for everybody. Players are reminded that the course staff have right of way on the course at all times.

Members and visitors must wait for all approaching vehicles or mowers to pass behind or be out of range before playing their shots. Alternatively the green staff may call golfers to play their shot when they are in a safe location. Rainfall Rainfall in the last 4 weeks has been in excess of 90mm and the total rainfall year to date is 420mm compared to the same period last year of 472mm. While we have had less than this time last year it has been in heavy down pours. The rain has been most welcome but it has caused some areas to be a little soft. The good side of the rain being that all dams are full or over flowing and the bores are at good levels. Course Committee... In the coming months two positions on the Course Committee will become vacant and therefore will be up for election at the AGM. If you are considering joining the Course Team and would like more details then have a chat to the Club Manager Matt or any of the current Course Committee members.

You may consider experiencing a “guest visit” to a Course Meeting. This will give you an indication of how the Committee operates and the possible enjoyment from being a member.

A WORD FROM THE GIRLS…from Karen Rama (Captain, Women’s Golf) The Ladies Foursomes Championships are open for entry and will be held over the first week of September. Good luck to all those participating and we look forward to having a lot of supporters cheering you on during the finals on Friday 4th September. Thank you to our three representatives (Ros Brunton, Lyn Cummings and Mary O’Hagan) in the Rhonda Watson Brooch invitational at Glenelg on Monday 10th August. A very difficult but enjoyable day for all players and congratulations to Glenelg for their third consecutive win and to the Kooyonga team for winning the Bronze Brooch (nett event). Our Club had two teams enter the Kooyonga Open Foursomes event on Friday 14th August (Karen Rama and Kathryn Hender; Mary O’Hagan and Joan Coles). This event is open to any team of two players whose average handicap is GA 30.4 and under. The Southern Zone Challenge is underway with three matches having been completed. It looks like Thaxted Park and Blackwood are setting up with some early wins, so hopefully we can have a good win against Flagstaff Hill next Monday at Blackwood. Go Team! Our Nomad girls had a win against Blackwood on Thursday 30th July. Well done girls, it looked like you all thoroughly enjoyed your day – we hope to see you all in the Hickory team next year. Congratulations to Lyn Cummings for winning the prestigious GSA Laurel Wreath this year... our GSA matchplay knockout event that plays out across our season. The Women’s Committee will soon be seeking nominations to join us. We are particularly looking for our next Vice-Captain to come on board. Please seriously consider yourself for this role, it’s a very rewarding experience and with the computerisation of many systems, it is becoming easier and less time consuming. It would be lovely to have someone nominate voluntarily. Don’t forget our Fashion Parade/Devonshire Tea event on Monday 21st September at 1:00pm. We would appreciate it if you would register your name on the attendance list so we have an idea for catering purposes, this will be posted in our Locker Room soon.

SOCIAL NEWS…from Wayne Lines (Vice President, Membership & Hospitality)

A big thanks goes to David Jolly for all the work and time spent as Vice President of this committee. Unfortunately David could not continue due to increased work commitments. The members’ draw has gone off twice in 5 weeks with amounts of $1000 and then $350… the latter being won by Friday night regular Patrick O'Donoghue. We would love to see more new members on Friday nights. Happy hour is from 5.30pm till 7.00pm with the members draw taking place at 6.30pm, so come along have a chance to win some money and perhaps stay for a meal. Next night is Wednesday 26th August starting at 7.30pm with a new caller. For the male members who don’t think bingo is their thing let your wife / partner know as they would be most welcome. The next Social Sunday is 23rd August starting at 11.15am on the 1st tee for a mixed and open Canadian foursomes. September’s competition will be 4 BBB stableford on the 13th…available time slots are filling fast so get in early and make your booking.

RULE of the month…explanation

…from John Ward DID YOU SEE THAT? MY BALL MOVED. Lew was happy the sun was out, not a breath of wind, the birds were singing and he was on the fourth green for two. Dowski suggested to Lew that he would need to be very careful when putting for his birdie as the fourth green was very fast down the slope. Lew thanked his mate for reminding him of the speed of the green, not knowing what bad luck was about to impact on him. After considerable time lining up and measuring his impending birdie putt Lew moved in behind his putt, placed his putter on the green and addressed the ball. Just after he had addressed the ball he noticed that the ball moved and was not sure whether he had caused the ball to move. Same old question. ”What do I do now?” Dowski had to tell his mate that unfortunately as he had addressed the ball, and he was not sure whether he had moved the ball, he was deemed to have moved the ball and he must replace it, and that he incurred a penalty of one stroke. (See Rule 18-2b). Suggested that you have a look at Rule 18-1. By Outside Agency. Lew missed his putt for par and recorded five for the hole (on for two, penalty, two putts). Quite disappointed at his bad luck, Lew thanked his mate Dowski for his help and trudged off up the hill to the 5th tee mumbling to himself and offering Dowski some advice of his own.


How about nominating? A lot of satisfaction can be gained from being a committee member at our Club. A lot of us have wonderful ideas. You can use your ideas in a very positive way by being a committee member. Come on...give it a go or at least talk to a current committee member. There will be positions vacant on our Committees this AGM, please see Manager, Matt Chesterman for details. Nominations will be opening in late October so now is the time to start thinking about what you can do to help your Club!


The Committee and Members mourn the passing of our Member

Robert Young

Passed away Monday 20th July. Bob was a long serving member for 39 years.

From Bernie‌

True Friendship Amongst Golfers This guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30 p.m., after golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade.

"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, and the dishes aren't done. Can't you see I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why did you bring him home unannounced, you stupid idiot?"

"Because he's thinking of getting married."

Try our Bistro Dinner Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Sunday from 5.30pm

Clayton has settled in well here at The Vines and his kitchen team continues to grow! The food has never been better and we invite locals & members alike to come down and enjoy the wonderful setting that is The Vines Golf Club. In addition to our fantastic summer menu, on Wednesdays you will find Steak night where chef sources some delicious rump steak for $12, Thursdays is $12 Schnitzels and Sundays a $12 Roast of The Day. Find our menu & wine list here or call 8381 1822 to make a booking.

Lunch Wednesday to Sunday from Midday until 2.30pm Our full menu is available for lunch on the weekend and well as our new lunch menu. Don’t forget about $12 Roast on Sunday, a simple way to get the family & friends together for a carefree celebration. Find the new lunch menu here. As usual bookings are recommended on 8381 1822

“drinks anyone”…From Bernie Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Sydney, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix up one minute prior to take off, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience." When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight." Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

“not an enemy in the world”…from John Sears Ya' gotta love this guy!!!!! Meet Walter Barnes - All golfers should live so long as to become this kind of old man! Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes. "Mr Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly. "Mr Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands. "Oh, Mr Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the bastards" - and he calmly returned to his seat.

Marriage Humour Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “Nothing.” Wife: “Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiry date.”

-----------------------------------------------------------Wife: “Do you want dinner?” Husband: “Sure! What are my choices?” Wife: “Yes or no.”

-----------------------------------------------------------Girl: “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden”' Boy: “It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.” Girl: “Well, that's because we aren't married yet.”


Junior Golf Sponsors…

Main Club Sponsors…

Club Sponsors… Christies Beach

Happy Valley

Pump Technology Services

Hub Shopping Centre

August 2015 grapevine  
August 2015 grapevine