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BIPOLAR BLUES EXPIRIENCE POETRY FROM THE WORLD OF MADNESS

รštgefendur: Krummi og Geรฐveik List

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© 2004 Vilmar Pedersen Hönnun: Vilmar Pedersen Umbrot: Vilmar Pedersen Oddur Árni Arnarsson Aðstoð við umbrot: Hilmar Tómas Guðmundsson Próförk: Louise Engelsen Sérstakar þakkir: Sabine Høgh GRAFISK Produktion www.einfarinn.tk einfarinn2004@hotmail.com Öll réttindi áskilin. Bók þessa má eigi afrita með neinum hætti, svo sem ljósmyndun, prentun, hljóðritun eða á neinn annan sambærilegan hátt, að hluta eða í heild, án skriflegs leyfis útgefanda.

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- til Louise

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Debut My Life is full of secrets I want to explain I want my thoughts to become words For them to remain I have stripped myself nude And my soul has become mute So this will become my first debut My first book might become my worst book But I want to show you how much I mean I put the meaning in between Within a thin red line I will let it rhyme Because to rhyme is not a crime It makes a sublime poem really divine.

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Time and Space

Black January Blues

I try to look through the dark As I reach out to get a hold on my life

The yearly January blues came over And revisited me Overwhelmingly it sucked my soul Into a black hole and swallowed

I search for a glimpse of light But I float on the surface of my conscience And sink deeper as I wander Between time and space.

The inside was black As on the outside Where the voice of Vedder Soothed my soul With: “Black - Dada da da dadada” As I sit on “The Stick” Where the voice of Vedder echoes On the gramophone With the memory of my Early Black Blues of Youth.

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Presence

Fading Like the Day

Future’s left Past has come

Every day goes by they are sinking like a ship All the moments go by they are fading into the past Every year goes by and I am a fool like you And the dreams go by and I’m just a another dreamer like you

Too much slept Present’s won One too many Days have gone Have to try To catch just one.

I’m waiting; I’m waiting for the day to fade away I’m fading; I’m fading like the day into the past Every girl goes by; they are just another lover that goes by Just another love that never came true Every song goes by, and the rhythm of the sound tries to flee away Every thought goes by one by one they drift away I’m waiting; I’m waiting for the day to fade away I’m fading; I’m fading like the day into the past.

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Birthday

Emerging Poet

Decision from far beyond Warm feeling inside Blizzard from all directions Imagination filled with snow Oh so cold oh not fold

Useless without activity Searching for the awakening Ignored by the pill

Summer fun winter won ahead a favorite season Burnt out conversation nothing but a drag A birthday coming yes getting older After every single day Roam through the next to get even older And finally fade.

Once a boy With integrity But slept the dream away Before an emerging poet Now an ink stain Before a creative person Now counting matches And kicked out off the soul Energy blown away From the empty soul With the hole Cold old soul has been sold To the one who wanted to live.

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Falling

Silence Pill

Can you hear me I’m calling For you to try to ease my mind Can you see me I’m falling On the ground that’s bound to what’s behind

Took the pills Went to sleep Nothing happened

Who’s the man who created my hell Where’s the hammer to break my shell? What’s the reason for keep on fighting What’s the reason for going through hell? Can you feel it I’m dying? After all that I have had to go through Can you save me from dying? From my own personal painful hell.

Knows the silence comes Has to be still Wait until It comes in As a bird Whispering the peace Into the veins As it would come From heaven Wished it wouldn’t Bring you pain Nothing Nothing can stop the way Was born To this world to die And has had enough Message will come When the time comes Today will be tomorrow Night will come When the day breaks Wished that it Wouldn’t bring you sorrow!

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Chemicals

Possessed

Chemical is the only way for me to be

The world is full of possession Greed and obsession Passion, aggression Man needs a lesson!

It lets me feel it lets me see It lets me think and sets me free From you my terror from you my fear Though it lets me fell a tear From my soul my deepest hole That is blank and empty without a goal.

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11/28/2004, 10:21 PM


The Flow

Words of Wonder

Insecure and scaring nerve So much pain to swallow Head gets spinning and thoughts will float My mind will have to follow

Words flying in the air Like black butterflies of beauty Try to reach out To grasp just one before the rain

Go go Gotta stop the flow Gotta let go go Gotta stop the flow

But they separate into characters And now they are drained by the rain Leaking down like tears Of no hope for tomorrow

There is this shake when I’m upset When thoughts do float my head explodes Like an outlet like an earthquake Please seize the fire cause peace is higher

Smashed on the window They have to be clear tomorrow When I throw the rock Through the window of sorrow

Flow flow I’m floating away Flow flow floating on a bay

I want to ask you to pick up the pieces Of my broken words on the concrete payment

Go go go far away Go go please go away.

Where all the clear-minded people Are walking on by Passing on by Will keep on walking on by Passing by Flying by Waving me goodbye Like the words of wonder I will try to grasp until I will die.

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Breakout

Bipolar Blues

When a spoken word needs to be heard I will let it flow for you to know Spinning round and round The world turns up side down

Black coffee and pills I am driving up hills Hypo manic and stressed For how long will it last Why won’t you let me be free? Slowly you’re killing me

I hear my inner voice it seeks I hear my soul it speaks There is an open door There is always a way out Full of love and light When in a great big need There is always a way out Now I know my inner voice Sought my soul for a way out Inside out a way out Of the round and round up side down Like the world spinning in a around and round chaos

I’m burning inside Like a plane I collide and crash Then comes panic and blues So depressed and no truce Dark fear full of pain Then you make me insane Suffering and I scream I wished it were only a dream I’m screaming inside Like a plane I collide and crash.

Now I know when in a need I have a soul I can seek When in a great big need of a way out Like the confusion of the round and round world chaos There is always a way out from the confusion chaos Of the round and round world layout That wants to breakout!

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The Long Road My mind is weak But my heart is strong My soul it seeks But the way is long.

Enter the Light By the eagle I will enter Led by the sound Of the rhythm of the wings And the wisdom of the song By the eagle I will enter Led by the wise Through the tunnels of the light By the wisdom of the eagles’ flight Enter the light to the other side.

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Window Mind

Power of Education

Look into the window of your mind

Education is the key To the lock of the mind

What do you see? Thoughts running in a marathon Pictures flying like butterflies of beauty Or simply words flying in a chaos? Pull down the curtains Sit down, relax and achieve some peace of mind.

Full of secrets Images and words Inside the thoughts It is the key of knowledge That unlocks the mind.

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The Unknown

Art

Worlds of secrets I want to explain Thoughts become words For them to remain.

An idea pops up in your brain Goes directly into your vain Flows into energy I try to use my serenity Flows into the mind Becomes creativity …And makes this art.

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Love

The Poetic Mind

Love, Welcome into my world

To write is a freedom A butterfly with a meaning Words with wings flying high

Love, You are my favorite word Love, You are like a whispering bird Because of you I am no longer hurt!

Fly, fly My beautiful butterfly When fed by the need The poem flies high in the wind A flow of the poetic mind Flow, flow My needful flying poem.

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God Only Knows

Word Bird

I found a treasure at the end of a rainbow And love began falling down like a waterfall

Let it be poetry Use your mind you might find Peace of art that’s a start

Love fell into my heart and down on my path of fortune And my heart began to beat like drums in the right rhythm It revealed my smile and the tears of my heart You filled it up with love and a hope for tomorrow The hope that no one knows except the universal God But I know that God only knows how much and deeply - I Love You.

Let it flow in a row Let it fly in the sky Let the word be heard But I’m a bird with a word On my tongue singing song In a tree like a bee But keep in mind I’m designed As a bird with a word So let there be POETRY!

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11/28/2004, 10:21 PM


October sky

Wishing Star

Snow fell on my eye Down from the October sky In a bright and beautiful night With you I long for Christmas

My eternal trustful soul mate You are the true love of my life You are the better half of me

Where light will gather With the bright snow And fill my heart with hope For a new, another year with you.

You put my mind on ease You let my heart sparkle Of happiness and joy You are an angel from a wishing star That let all my deepest wishes And dreams come true You are the dream Of my life come true And you let my life be enlightened, shine and shiver.

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11/28/2004, 10:21 PM


A Memory

Without You

Slided into the dream dimension From the other side

I love you so deep that my heart is on fire And I cannot sleep I’m a burning desire

Felt a smooth emotion in my heart A thought began to shiver

You’re so beautiful that I cannot see You’re so wonderful that I cannot be

Never felt the whole spine so numb Oh, it felt good

- Without you.

A memory to remember Will be encouraging in the cold An experience to remember Oh, it felt so good Oh, I felt you.

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The Key of Knowledge

Writings on the Wall

Life is full of moments I want to enjoy Life is full of spots I want to explore Spots in every corner A half opened door For me it’s like a light Of earth’s creation core

You are the path to the wisdom You are my innermost core The sources from the spring The fountain I adore

Like a world full of secrets I want to explain Seeking path of wisdom Of the key that I adore The key of hidden knowledge The key to the door

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You are the need I write for The key for me to be As an unlocked mystery For me to be free I have to preserve your force And by writings I will By my need you will fulfill My soul and my will You are the path of my life Until death for you I die I will sacrifice my life You are the path I adore

But there is one thing I know That has to be done Is to seize the day of beauty That is full of its fruits It is for us to be full Of freedom and truth Given by the unknown Force we cannot see.

The writings on the wall Will avoid me from the fall Before I’m dead and gone Life has lost and death has won.

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The Sun Poem I

The Sun Poem II

Sunset

Sunblind

Yesterday I saw a sight I had not seen before In the sunset I saw a light That I had not seen before

Can you try to stare the sunset up or down

The sunset was shining Like gold beyond the earth My pain in life was winding Like my life beyond my birth It was like a flash light It is hard for me to describe It might be hard for you to picture Might be hard for you to figure.

Why does the sun always blind our eyes in the sunset? Maybe this is a question we have been asking All our life, all our ages and all our-selves? I think without a doubt and a thought Honestly mentally but not physically The reason is that The Sunset is our nearest and closest Reflection of our eyes It blinds us because of our own blindness Try to stare the sun up or down!

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Bipolar Blues