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January 2013

Wedding Planner

A supplement to The Courier-Gazette, The Camden Herald and The Republican Journal


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Wedding Planner

Exquisite Wedding Bouquets 310 Commercial St. ◆ Rockport ◆ Maine 207-236-3023 or 800-494-4372 Contact us for your appointment today! email: weddings@hobokengardens.com ◆ website: www.hobokengardens.com

January 31, 2013


January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

Save-the-date card etiquette M

ore and more couples planning to walk down the aisle are embracing savethe-date cards to give guests adequate notice that there is a party on the horizon. Save-the-date cards do more than let guests know when you’re getting hitched. The cards are a preliminary way to keep guests informed and let them know they are, in fact, on the guest list. These cards haven’t always been so popular, but have risen in popularity due to longer engagement periods, a growing number of destination weddings and the growing number of couples with guests from all over the country, if not the world. Considering people often plan business trips, vacations and other excursions several months

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Courier Publications, LLC Publisher of The Courier-Gazette, The Camden Herald and The Republican Journal 91 Camden St., Suite 403, Rockland, ME 04841 • 207.594.4401 Graphics Department Production Manager: Christine Dunkle Graphic Designers: Heidi Anderson-Belcher, Dave Dailey, Debbie Post, Kathy Ryan

RACHEL C PHOTOGRAPHY

in advance, save-the-date cards help secure a greater number of attendees at your wedding. Save-the-date announcements can vary in many ways. They may be postcards or magnets that can be attached to a refrigerator door. If you desire a cohesive theme to your wedding stationery, select the save-the-

Date on page 18

Advertising Department Sales Manager: Dave Libby Sales Executives: Candy Foster, Karen Mehorter, Jody McKee, Pam Schultz, Alysha Steltzer

COVER PHOTO: Kari J. Cross Photography facebook.com/karijcrossphotography | karijcrossphotography.com/blog

Table of Contents Do-it-yourself wedding ............. 4 Handmade invitations ............. 5 Simple ways to save ............... 6 What to expect with a civil ceremony ..................... 7 Find a gown they will love ........ 8 Selecting flowers .................. 10 Writing your own vows........... 11 Planning calendar ................. 12

Finding the right banquet hall for your big day .............. 14 Variety is the spice of life with wedding cuisine ............ 14 Roles of the best man and maid of honor ................ 15 Test out music vendors ......... 17 Make guests feel special with these extra touches ....... 18


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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

Do-it-yourself wedding T

KARI J. CROSS PHOTOGRAPHY FACEBOOK.COM/KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM/BLOG

hose thinking about tying the knot in the months to come may be discouraged by how expensive weddings can be. But with a little ingenuity and a hands-on approach, couples can have a wedding that is inexpensive and memorable at the same time. Having a backyard, DIY wedding can be the answer. Although some may envision a backyard wedding with picnic benches and Dad at the grill, it can be a much classier affair than that. Smart couples are realizing that the money they would normally spend on a big wedding at an outside venue can be put to better use, either through buying a new home or fixing up one they may already own. Furthermore, for couples who

are picky about details, having a DIY event ensures that they can control the details and have them as personal as they would like. Getting Started A DIY wedding is one that will take much more work than simply hiring vendors and leaving the details to them. But the money saved with sweat equity can be substantial. A well-planned wedding is the best start. Grab a notebook and start making lists of all the things you will need: • location • tables and chairs • linens • food

Yourself on page 16

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January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

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Save money with handmade invitations C

alligraphy, embossing, fonts, watermarks — these and other terms are finely engrained in the wedding stationery lexicon. While traditionalists may pore over carefully crafted invitations and other stationery products from commercial printers, couples looking to rein in wedding spending may choose to take a more hands-on approach to wedding invitations ... by printing the invites themselves. Before the advent of sophisticated home computer systems and affordable desktop printers, brides- and grooms-tobe had to rely on professional printers and engravers. The process of producing wedding invitations likely involved printing plates or some form of thermography and took place in a building replete with bulky equipment and the pungent aroma of ink. Though formal and often exquisitely executed, these wedding invitations can still prove quite expensive. The Bridal Association of America says that the average cost of professionally produced wedding invitations is $659. This refers to invitations that have printed envelopes, reply cards, and printer reply card envelopes. Changes in design or even the color of the text can impact prices further. It

is not unheard of to spend as much as $2,000 for highquality engraved wedding invitations. Considering the invitation is held for a short period of time and then tossed away, some couples cannot imagine spending so much on invitations. In such instances, making your own invitations may be the most affordable option. As the evolution of homebased printing has broadened the possibilities of do-ityourself printing, couples who hope to design and produce their own wedding invitations have many options at their disposal. Pre-Made Kits A visit to a stationery store or even the local craft retailer should present shoppers with several different wedding

invitation kits. These packages often include blank invitations, response cards, envelopes and other embellishments pertaining to the invitation design. Some can be quite elaborate, with the inclusion of vellum or card inserts, as well as die-cut designs. Couples who want control over the wording and printing but would rather leave the creative design to someone else can benefit from these invitation kits. They also tend to be affordably priced in comparison to a professional printing service. Crafty Card-Making Interest in scrapbooking and card-making has spurred craft centers to stock many different materials that can be used to design wedding invitations. Layering different

types of paper to create a three-dimensional effect and using embellishments such as rhinestones or ribbon can help dress up the wedding invitation. Couples hosting a casual wedding for a small number of guests may enjoy the process of hand-crafting wedding invitations and possibly customizing them for each guest. Intimate affairs lend themselves well to this level of personalization, and handmade invitations could set the cozy tone of the celebration. Graphic Design Work Couples who have a creative spark may want to draw up their own invitation design or look for the assistance of an artist or graphic designer. There are many different programs that employ the use of clip art and stock imagery that can be put to use with regard to invitations. Those who have a cursory knowledge of some design applications can import text and images and manipulate the size of their templates accordingly for the type of invitation they desire. The finished file then can be printed at home or brought to an office supply center for more professional results.

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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

Simple ways to save on your wedding A

KARI J. CROSS PHOTOGRAPHY FACEBOOK.COM/KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM/BLOG

ccording to a 2012 report in Brides magazine, the average American couple spends just under $27,000 on their wedding, while their northern neighbors in Canada spend slightly more than $23,000 on average for their big day. Clearly couples, regardless of which side of the border they call home, can expect to invest a substantial amount of money for their weddings. While many couples find the cost of a wedding is well worth it, others would like to find ways to save so their big day isn’t a budget-buster. Such savings aren’t always easy to come by, especially for couples with a very distinctive picture in mind of what their wedding should be. However, even couples strongly committed to a certain wedding style might change their minds once they realize how much such a dream wedding will cost. For those couples as well as couples who simply want to save some money, the following are a few ideas to avoid busting your budget without venturing too far from your dream wedding. • Trim the guest list. The guest list is

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perhaps the easiest place to begin saving money. Many reception halls will charge by the head, so consider if you really need to invite 150 guests or if 100 will do. Such trimming can save you a substantial amount of money. For example, a banquet hall that charges $200 per guest will cost couples with a guest list of 150 $30,000 for the reception alone. Cutting that guest list to 100 reduces that cost by $10,000. When putting together the guest list, remove those candidates who would best be described as acquaintances. This can include coworkers with whom you don’t socialize, as well as old college friends to whom you rarely speak. Distant cousins you haven’t spoken to in years can also be cut from the list. • Don’t go overboard on the gown. Styles are ever-changing, so there’s a strong chance brides won’t be passing down their wedding gowns to their own daughters someday. What’s popular now will likely

Save on page 8

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January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

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M

any people dream of a wedding in a church or synagogue before dozens of family members and friends, while there are others who prefer to forgo the fanfare of a large wedding ceremony and are content with a civil wedding instead. Civil ceremonies are often a choice for couples who may have different religious beliefs or do not belong to a particular religious persuasion. In lieu of being presided over by a pastor, priest or rabbi, civil ceremonies are conducted by an authorized official, such as a judge or justice of the peace. The marriage also can be performed by a licensed wedding officiant. Depending on where a couple lives, mayors or even notary publics can solemnize a marriage. Pilots and ship captains also may be able to preside over the ceremony. Some states and provinces will allow anyone to solemnize a wedding, provided they have filed for a special permit for the day. In terms of location, the most basic of civil ceremonies take place at the county courthouse, where paperwork is immediately filed. Ceremonies also occur at City Hall. Couples can choose to hire an officiant to go to another location to oversee the marriage ceremony. The latter is the more expensive option and will be based on the officiant’s schedule. The structure of a civil marriage is much more lax than those which follow the more traditional course. Rather than being required to wear a certain wardrobe or meet with the requirements of a particular church or other house of worship, couples often find flexibility with the civil route. Although some brides and grooms prefer to wear a tuxedo or suit and a wedding gown, it is

not necessary to do so. There are many couples who have tied the knot in more casual clothing or even costumes. In order to participate in a civil ceremony, couples must secure a marriage license. This is usually obtained by a county registrar or another officer of records where the couple lives. Regulations will vary as to the time period in which the ceremony can be done after the mariage license is received. Some licenses may be voided if the couple does not tie the knot within a few days of securing the license. When the ceremony will take place is generally up to the couple and, if a member of the judiciary will be overseeing the wedding, the courthouse. Some courts require an appointment for the wedding, while others may have a walk-in policy. Determine these policies well in advance of the wedding day. There is often a fee collected for the wedding ceremony in addition to what was paid for the marriage license. For those hiring a private officiant, the fee will be much higher than what a clerk of the court will cost. The couple will need to bring the marriage license and photo identification. Two witnesses also will need to be present with their own photographic identification. These witnesses will be needed to sign the marriage certificate. Because there is no firm tradition with civil ceremonies, couples may need to be more hands-on when it comes to executing the wedding. Here are some tips to consider. • An officiant may not organize the wedding, meaning it will be up to the couple to choose vows, arrange where people will stand, request any

Civil on page 8

RACHEL C PHOTOGRAPHY

What to expect with a civil ceremony

Capturing

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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

Find a gown they all will love C

RACHEL C PHOTOGRAPHY

Save from page 6 seem outdated by the time your daughter walks down the aisle. Keep this in mind when shopping for a wedding dress, which can be made in the same design as the one you try on but with cheaper fabrics that are a fraction of the cost. The disparity between gown costs in the United States and Canada should paint a good picture of how easily brides can save money on their gowns. According to a survey of wedding trends conducted by Weddingbells, an online resource for Canadian brides, the average Canadian bride in 2011 spent just under $1,800 on her wedding gown, while the average American bride spends roughly $1,100 on her gown. Though the reasons for that disparity are unclear, it’s safe to say there are savings to

Civil from page 7 clerical blessings, or include any other special elements. • Some officiants enjoy presiding over weddings, while others see it as just a part of public duty. Couples can try to find an officiant who meets with their approval and

lose friends and family members are an important component of a couple’s wedding day. Individuals who are especially close to the bride and groom are often asked to become members of the wedding party, which means a bride-to-be will be asking one or more women to play an integral role in the celebration. To set these ladies apart from other guests at the wedding, they are often asked to wear coordinating bridesmaid gowns. Selecting a style and color that is fitting to the unique people of the bridal party can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. As if choosing your maid

of honor wasn’t tricky enough, you now must make a host of other decisions as well, all while playing stylist to the wedding party. Fashion sense is as unique as a fingerprint, and it is unlikely the bridesmaids will be able to agree on every aspect of the gowns they will be asked to wear. However, there are ways to narrow down the choices and be as accommodating as possible to their needs. Size matters The body shapes and sizes of the women in your bridal party will be different,

Gown on page 9

be had for brides who don’t want to break the bank paying for their wedding gowns. • Get hitched in the off-season. Many couples prefer to get married sometime between the months of May through October. During these months, venues and vendors, including limousine services, caterers, photographers, musicians, and deejays, are more expensive. If you are willing to switch your wedding date to the off-season you can save a substantial amount of money. In addition, you likely won’t face as much competition for the best venues and vendors as you will during the peak wedding season. • Trim your beverage budget. The bar tab at the end of the reception can be considerable, but there are ways to save money while ensuring your guests can still toast you and yours with a few libations. Rather than offering a full bar, limit the

choices to beer and wine, which will be perfectly acceptable to most guests anyway. In addition, rather than paying the caterer for the wine, buy your own and you’ll save a considerable amount of money. You may have to pay the caterer a fee to pour the wine, but that fee is negligible compared to what you’d pay the company to provide the wine. • Choose a buffet-style dinner over waiter service. Many guests will no doubt prefer a buffet-style dinner instead of waiter service, so take advantage of that and choose a more affordable buffet-style dinner that allows diners to choose their own entrees and side dishes. When it comes to trimming wedding costs, couples will have to make compromises. But those compromises don’t have to come at the cost of a beautiful and memorable event.

will keep with the tone that is expected of the ceremony. • For those adding personal vows, keep them brief and tailored to the occasion. • Know how many people can attend the ceremony in advance. Couples should recognize that space could be limited and restricted to only a few people if the wedding is taking place at the courthouse.

• Arrange the venue for a party afterward. Couples may choose to record a video of the ceremony for playback at a reception to enable those who were not in attendance to be part of the special moment where the rings and vows were exchanged. Civil ceremonies are advantageous to those who have factors that may make a religious ceremony unfavorable.


January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

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Gown from page 8

with fair skin. Those with dark skin may need a brighter-colored dress.

and this should be kept in mind when selecting a gown style and cut. There are certain dress shapes that are universally flattering, such as A-line. Try to avoid gowns that are extremely form-fitting, as only a few of the bridesmaids may be able to pull off this look successfully. The remainder could be left feeling selfconscious and uncomfortable. Plus, form-fitting clothing will be restrictive and can be difficult to move around in -particularly considering the gown will be worn for an entire day.

Price Tag It is an honor to be asked to be part of a bridal party, but that honor can be very expensive. The bridesmaids are expected to pay for their wardrobe, hair styling, and makeup, as well as parties and gifts for the happy couple. As a courtesy to the women who already will be investing a considerable amount to be a part of your wedding, make every effort to select a gown that is affordable. There are plenty of retailers offering stylish options that may not be as expensive as some specialty stores.

Flattering Color As a bride you may have a colorscape in your mind for the wedding. But what looks good in table linens and flowers is not always the right choice for clothing. Take the skin tones and hair colors of your bridesmaids into consideration before choosing a dress. Green- and yellow-hued dresses may not look nice on women with olive skin tones, while very pale colors may wash out women

Other Tips Once you’ve decided on the basic elements, consider the following suggestions to find a gown that the bridal party will enjoy. • Take one or two bridesmaids shopping with you. Try to select ones with opposite body types so you can see how the gown looks on a woman who is thin and one who may be more fullfigured.

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• Think about choosing separates. The bridesmaids can mix and match tops and bottoms to find a fit that works. This may enable a woman with a larger bust size to select a top with supportive straps while another bridesmaid can opt for strapless. Many stores have increased their inventory of separates because of their growing popularity. • Choose one color and then let the bridesmaids choose the style they like the best for themselves. The look will still be cohesive, but it won’t be boring with one type of gown. Also, each bridesmaid will be comfortable with a gown that flatters her shape. • Go with a tea-length gown. These gowns have become quite trendy and are less formal and cumbersome than full-length gowns. Plus, there is a greater likelihood that the gown can be used again at a later date. • Purchase the bridesmaid gowns at the same store where you will be purchasing your wedding gown. Most shops will offer a courtesy discount if the bridesmaid gowns are purchased at the same store.

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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

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RACHEL C PHOTOGRAPHY

Tips for selecting wedding day flowers W

hat would a wedding day be without flowers? The beauty and the aroma of fresh-cut flowers can create a welcoming atmosphere and complement the beauty and the style of a wedding wardrobe. Flowers are often the first things that guests see upon arriving for the ceremony, and they may even be something guests take home at the end of the night. Flowers create an air of romance, and most couples want to make flowers -- whether fresh or silk -- an integral part of their wedding day. As with any decision when planning a wedding, choosing the right flowers requires some research and a basic knowledge of which flowers will convey the message and the theme of your wedding. The number of colors, textures and combinations that can be created are so numerous that couples may feel the decision on the floral arrangements is best left to the florist. But it doesn’t take a lot of expertise to know what you want, and it is important for couples to convey their feelings to the florist. Consider these tips when choosing a florist and

selecting flowers. • Experts advise that a couple start looking for a florist at least six months before the wedding, especially if the wedding will take place during the peak season of May through September. Get recommendations from friends as to which florist they used or find out if your wedding planner or banquet hall manager recommends a particular florist. Some catering halls have agreements with florists, and they work together. • Browse magazines to get ideas of what you like. You also may be able to find a florist through an advertisement or if he or she has been featured in publications. Keep a scrapbook of the colors, types of flowers and arrangements and any other ideas that attract you so you will be able to present this information to the florist. • Establish your flower budget prior to sitting down with the florist. You should expect to pay at least 8 percent of the total wedding cost on flowers. Get an estimate on the floral arrangement and then tweak your needs according

Flowers on page 16


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Wedding Planner

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Suggestions for writing your own wedding vows A

wedding is a once-in-alifetime event for many couples, so brides and grooms wish for the event to be momentous and memorable. As such, couples are increasingly integrating personal nuances into their ceremonies and receptions to tailor weddings to their unique visions. The desire to include personalized wedding vows continues to be a popular trend. If you are considering personalized wedding vows, first realize that it may not be a simple task. That’s because you want the message conveyed to be dear to your heart, and that can be challenging when faced with the pressures and planning of the rest of the wedding. That isn’t to say that writing your own vows is impossible. Here are some guidelines for personalizing your ceremony with your own sentiments. • Schedule time for writing. Amid the bustle of dress fittings and interviews with photographers, it can be easy to put off the important task of writing vows for another day. But as any great writer can attest, it takes writing -- and rewriting -- to achieve a finished product you can be proud of. Give the task of writing your vows your undivided attention. Mark it in on your calendar or set a reminder on your computer just as you would any other appointment. • Be aware of ceremony guidelines. It is best to check with your officiant and confirm that personalized wedding vows are allowed. During civil ceremonies it’s often acceptable to customize vows as you see fit. However, during religious ceremonies there may be lines of scripture that need to be read or certain passages required. Before you spend hours working on the task, be sure that it is allowed and that your spouse and you are on the same page. • Jot down your feelings. Answer some questions about

what marriage means to you and how you feel about your spouse. Try to avoid trite sayings and think from your heart and personal experiences. Think about what is the most important thing you want to promise to your future partner. These notes can serve as the starting points for the actual vows. • Read inspirational writings. Perhaps there is an author or a poet who inspires you? You can quote certain writers in your vows or let the tone of their works help shape the words of your vows. There also are suggested wedding readings and other quotes about marriage readily available at the library or with a quick search online. • Decide on a tone. Although the day is based on love and affection, you may not feel comfortable spouting words of adoration in front of friends and family. Feel free to tap into your unique personality. Humor can be used if it aligns with the way you normally express your affections. Be sure to weave this tone into more traditional passages to create a cohesive expression of your feelings. • Establish an outline. Put together all of the words and phrases you’ve jotted down into an outline to help you organize the flow of the vows, using these words as a blueprint for the vows and building upon them. Make sure the vows will be concise. Aim for your entire speech to be around 1 minute in length to keep everyone engaged and the ceremony moving along. • Put everything together. Draft your vows and then practice them by reading out loud. You want to avoid long sentences or anything that trips you up. Although large words may sound impressive, they could make the vows seem too academic and not necessarily heartfelt. Enlist the

help of a friend or two to act as your audience to see if the vows sound good and are easily understandable. Writing your own vows can be a way to include personal expressions of love into a couple’s wedding day. Public speaking is seldom easy, nor is finding the perfect words to convey feelings about a future spouse. However, with some practice and inspiration, anyone can draft personalized vows. RACHEL C PHOTOGRAPHY

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Wedding Planner

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January 31, 2013

Planning calendar

G

etting married? Keep yourself organized all year-long with this handy wedding to-do list:

12 months

• Announce your engagement • Brainstorm wedding ideas • Choose a wedding theme and style • Work out a basic wedding budget; research reception venues • Determine number of guests • Look through bridal magazines for attire ideas • Meet potential wedding consultants; obtain bids • Research wedding pros (photographers, videographers, reception bands or DJs, ceremony musicians). Set up appointments, and review portfolios, tapes and recordings.

11 months

• Select a wedding consultant and meet to discuss wedding planning details • Determine theme/ decorations for your reception • Meet with several caterers; arrange for tastings • Select and book a caterer • Reserve musicians/DJ for reception • Determine wedding ceremony musicians and make musical selections • Book wedding videographer and photographer; make a list of photos, such as bridal ceremony and reception shots • Research and interview florists • Select and reserve your ceremony venue and schedule a rehearsal time • Choose reception venue; negotiate contract; leave a deposit • Secure parking and/or transportation for your guests at the reception location

• Visit local bridal stores to browse their selection of gowns • Choose your wedding-party members and ask them to participate in your celebration • Meet with your officiant to discuss the wedding ceremony • Determine your honeymoon budget • Mail save-the-date notices for a destination wedding

10 months

• Select/order your wedding gown • If your ceremony or reception will be held in a park or recreational area, obtain necessary permits • Discuss attendants’ duties with your maid of honor and bridesmaids

Nine months

• Register for wedding gifts • Coordinate with vendors to incorporate your theme/style into all aspects of your wedding • Decide on the food and liquor to be served at your reception • Prepare a playlist of weddingreception musical selections • Select and order your headpiece, veil, gloves and shoes • Confirm orders of and delivery dates for your wedding attire • Research airline, hotel and rental-car reservations for guests

Eight months

• Go to first gown fitting; invite your maid of honor to attend • Choose and order bridesmaid dresses and accessories • Research wedding ring styles • Select florist; discuss wedding ideas, theme and style

• Notify bridesmaids about dress fittings • Discuss attire with groomsmen and make referrals to local formalwear store • Select attire for flower girl and/or ring bearer • Determine the design, wording, font and paper stock for your wedding invitations, stationery, table cards and thank-you notes; finalize order • Arrange a printer or hire a calligrapher for table cards • Determine order of ceremony events and choose appropriate wording for your programs • Negotiate rates and book a block of hotel rooms for guests • Select/order your wedding rings • Purchase bridal accessories: jewelry, lingerie and so on • Choose and order something fun for guests to throw after your ceremony (rose petals, confetti or birdseed)

Six months

• Review and approve proofs of wedding invitations and stationery • Discuss the type of honeymoon you want, start reading up on potential destinations and consult a travel agent for ideas and suggestions.

Five months

• Order table cards; place print order for programs • Finalize choice of honeymoon destination • Taste a variety of wedding cakes and select a baker; place cake order and arrange for delivery • Secure reservations for rehearsal dinner and select menu

Seven months

• Review and finalize your wedding details with consultant

Plan on page 13


January 31, 2013

Plan from page 12 Four months

• Determine method of addressing wedding invitations and hire a calligrapher, if applicable • Print labels, and hand-address— or have a calligrapher address wedding invitations • Write or choose your wedding vows • Have groom visit formalwear shops and try on tuxedos • Purchase or rent groom’s wedding accessories, including tuxedo, cuff links, shoes, socks and so on • Make honeymoon reservations and place all deposits

Three months

• Review and approve wedding announcement and printed program proofs • Book venue or secure reservations for post-wedding brunch • Discuss bachelorette party plans with your attendants • Plan your bridesmaids’ luncheon or dinner • Make appointment with stylist/ hairdresser to discuss hairstyle • Take another look at your registry and update or add items • Create hotel information cards and maps to include with your wedding invitations

Two months

• Secure a wedding-day dressing room for your bridesmaids • Weigh, purchase postage for and mail wedding invitations • Go to final gown fitting; arrange for pickup or delivery • Have groom’s formalwear fitted • If you plan to have a prenuptial agreement, meet with your attorney to discuss it • Purchase gifts for all wedding-party members • Arrange transportation for bride and groom from the ceremony site to the reception • Purchase ceremony accessories (Unity candle, wineglasses,etc.)

Wedding Planner

Six weeks

• Purchase a new camera, if needed • Send rehearsal dinner invitations • Write thank-you notes as you receive gifts • Confirm music selections (“playlist”) with musicians/DJ • Select menu for post-wedding brunch • Write newspaper announcement and gather photos • Purchase a gift for your spouse-to-be • Shop for wedding favors • Purchase honeymoon clothing, luggage and accessories • Go in for a practice hairstyling and make day-of-wedding hair appt.

Four weeks

• Confirm floral order and arrange for delivery times • Meet with ushers and assign duties for the ceremony and reception • Discuss the details of your wedding ceremony with your officiant • Determine the placement or distribution of programs at the ceremony venue • Arrange for preparation, storage and break areas for musicians/DJ at the reception venue • Determine seating arrangements for guests • If you color your hair, make appointment for a touch-up the week before your wedding • Go in for a dry run with a professional makeup artist and make a day-of-wedding appointment • Schedule an appointment for a manicure and/or pedicure the day before your wedding • Finalize details with wedding photographer and videographer, determining arrival times at each nuptial venue • Arrange for preparation/storage area for photographer and videographer at each nuptial venue • Sign your prenuptial agreement, if applicable • Finalize honeymoon plans/itinerary and confirm all travel and hotel reservations

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• Arrange for transportation to and from the airport • Make all necessary arrangements for care of pet(s), plants and mail while you’re away on honeymoon • Post announcement and photo on your wedding website • Arrange for table card setup at reception venue • Schedule pickup/return of groom’s formalwear

Three weeks

• Finalize list of reception guests • Give the final headcount to the caterer and review details • Arrange for delivery and placement of wedding flowers, candles and other decorations on the day of the ceremony • Call anyone who has not responded to his or her wedding invitation

One week

• Confirm your honeymoon travel arrangements • Start packing bags for your honeymoon • Get traveler’s checks and/or a small amount of foreign cash • Pick up your wedding dress

Wedding day

• Eat a good breakfast • Attend hairstyle appointment • Give yourself plenty of time to get ready • Relax and enjoy yourself!

Post-wedding: 3 days

• Arrange for transport of gifts • Have family or friends mail wedding announcements

After the honeymoon

• Take wedding gown and veil to a dry cleaner who specializes in gown preservation • Submit name-change forms for driver’s license, passport, Social Security card, state and federal tax boards, banks, credit cards and so on.


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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

How to find the right banquet hall for your big day KARI J. CROSS PHOTOGRAPHY FACEBOOK.COM/KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY KARIJCROSSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM/BLOG

Variety is the spice of life with wedding cuisine W

eddings are a celebration wherein guests look forward to the reception as much as the actual ceremony, and the food served at the wedding is often hotly anticipated. Wedding receptions feature a bevy of different foods to tempt the palates of those in attendance. From appetizers served during the cocktail hour to the last crumb of cake, food plays a big role in a wedding reception. Choosing foods for a reception can take a little forethought, especially when the wedding party is especially large. The following are a few suggestions to ensure most guests are happy with the menu selections. The first rule of thumb is variety. As much as budget allows, give guests the choice over what they dine on. During the cocktail hour — if there is one — couples can play with many different tastes and offerings. For those who want to be creative, this is the time to do so. Exotic flavors can be served alongside more traditional offerings that guests recognize. For example, offer Asian fusion appetizers that may have spice alongside more traditional items, like miniature quiches. During the main course of the meal, give guests a few options. Most catering facilities will offer suggestions in their meal packages. Couples can typically choose to offer a meat dish, a poultry and a seafood. This caters to a wide variety of diners. It is important for couples to recognize that many people have food allergies or are on restricted diets.

Cuisine on page 17

P

lanning a wedding is no small feat, as couples are faced with many decisions seemingly from the moment they get engaged right up until they walk down the aisle as man and wife. One of the biggest decisions a couple will make is where to host the reception. Couples must consider a variety of factors when looking for the right banquet hall to host their reception. The wedding is a celebration, and the banquet hall is where the couple and their guests will let their hair down and hopefully enjoy a festive and memorable night. Because the reception is typically the most lengthy portion of a couple’s wedding day, it’s important to find a place where everyone can be comfortable and enjoy themselves. The following are a few tips for couples looking to find the ideal banquet hall to host their wedding reception. • Ask around. Word-of-mouth is a great way to find the right banquet hall. Ask friends or family members who got hitched in the same town where your ceremony will be if they can recommend a reception site. These friends or family members can provide a behind-thescenes look at a reception hall, from how accommodating the staff was to how flexible the banquet hall was with regard to pricing to how open the staff was to suggestions. Wedding planning isn’t easy, so if friends, family members or coworkers recommend a hassle-free banquet hall, that recommendation can remove a lot of the stress from planning a wedding. • Consider the size of the facility. Some couples prefer an intimate affair with relatively few guests, while others will desire a large wedding party with lots of guests. Couples can find a banquet hall that’s capable of catering to small or large wedding parties, but find one that fits your party specifically. If your wedding party is small, then avoid a larger facility that will appear empty. If the party is large, make sure there’s adequate room so guests won’t feel like they’re sitting on top of one another during dinner and dessert. • Don’t downplay decor. A banquet hall with an attractive decor is not only aesthetically appealing but can appeal

to a couple’s finances as well. Such a hall likely won’t need any additional decorations, while a banquet hall that’s unadorned and lacks embellishments will, and those decorations can dip into a couple’s overall wedding budget. Compare the costs of the more decorated banquet hall with the one that’s more plain in appearance, factoring in the cost to decorate the latter, and you might just realize the one with more aesthetic appeal is more affordable in the long run. • Prioritize privacy. Few couples would be open to strangers having easy access to their wedding reception. When shopping for a banquet hall, look for one that gives you and your guests all the privacy you need. Many couples have taken to hosting the entire ceremony at a hotel, which may handle the bulk of the planning and remove the hassle of transportation for out-of-town guests. However, couples considering a hotel should look for one that can promise privacy from other guests at the hotel who aren’t there for the wedding. The reception room should be secluded from the rest of the hotel so other guests walking by aren’t tempted to walk in on the festivities.


January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

Page 15

Roles of the best man and maid of honor B

eing chosen as a best man or a maid of honor is a significant and meaningful honor. Those roles have evolved over the years, but these special participants must still perform some of the traditional duties of the past, including serving as the official witnesses to the ceremony. The following is a rundown of the various duties maids of honor and best men are now expected to handle once they’re chosen for these distinguished honors. Prior to the wedding Before the wedding takes place, the maid of honor will closely assist the bride-to-be with many of the important decisions related to the look and the feel of the wedding. She typically accompanies the bride to dress shops to select gowns for the bride and bridesmaids. Much in the same manner, the best man will assist the groom-to-be with choosing tuxedoes or suits and also with coordinating with the ushers to ensure they know when to go for fittings. Although the best man will serve as a sounding board for the groom, traditionally the bride and her bridesmaids have taken on the majority of the wedding planning, so the maid of honor can expect to play a larger role than the best

emergencies that should crop up. The best man will help ensure all of the ushers are dressed and get the groom to the wedding on time. During the ceremony, the maid of honor will hold the bride’s bouquet while she participates in the wedding. The best man will keep the rings safe until they are needed. The maid of honor also will help adjust the bride’s train and veil as she sits and stands during the ceremony. Both will sign the marriage certificate as witnesses. At the reception, the best man is expected to give a toast and the maid of honor may share some words as well. She also may accompany the bride to the restroom and assist her with managing the gown.

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man. The maid of honor may be asked to delegate certain assignments, such as helping to find wedding vendors or addressing invitations. She may go with the bride for makeup and hairstyle trials. Together with the bridesmaids, she will plan a bridal shower party and a bachelorette excursion. She may select a wedding gift for the couple and present it on behalf of all the wedding attendants. The best man will

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coordinate the bachelor party and may be asked to assist the groom with selecting a honeymoon site or to come along to book the trip. Wedding day On the day of the wedding, the maid of honor and the best man will act as a support system for the bride and groom. The maid of honor will help the bride get dressed and help iron out any mini-

After the wedding The best man will be in charge of returning the tuxedoes to the rental shop, if necessary. He also may drive the newly married couple to the airport so they can depart on their honeymoon. The maid of honor will assist the bride in changing out of her gown and into her travel clothes. Oftentimes the maid of honor takes the gown to the cleaners in the days following the ceremony so the dress can be preserved.

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Yourself from page 4 • silverware and glassware • invitations • photography • music • officiant • music • centerpieces and other decor • cake or dessert • lighting • attire • flowers Work in Advance Many items necessary for a wedding can be bought in advance. Some couples find that purchasing low-cost items at discount stores turns out to be less expensive than renting. For example, inexpensive glasses and silverware can be bought at dollar stores or chains like Ikea. Later on these items can be kept, sold or even donated to shelters. Tablecloths don’t have to be the traditional kind. It may be less expensive to purchase pieces of fabric from a fabric store and dressing them up oneself. Candles can be stockpiled relatively easy and provide a very affordable means of ambient light. Plan out centerpiece ideas and figure out which components can be bought and stored. Then items can be assembled at leisure. Wedding stationery is one thing that will have to be bought well in advance so there will be time enough to printout save-thedates, invitations and response cards, as well

Flowers from page 10 to your budget. Many florists can modify arrangements and find a middle ground with regard to cost. Selecting flowers that are in-season will result in more affordable rates than if you desire exotic or out-ofseason blooms. • Once you’ve hired the florist, you can come up with a wedding flower worksheet that establishes all of your needs. The florist may ask for specific information, such as photos of the bride’s gown as well as the colors and styles that the wedding party will be wearing. A good florist knows that a bouquet should not overpower or detract from the beauty of the bride. The florist may want to mimic textures from the dress, such as beading, with smaller flowers or berries within the arrangement. The groom’s boutonniere is traditionally one of the flowers from the bride’s bouquet so that the look is cohesive. • Ceremony flowers may be traditional, and some houses of worship have strict guidelines as to what can and cannot be

Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

as mail them. An informal wedding may mean couples can get simple attire. Buying off the rack may mean a smaller price tag for gowns. Gentleman may be able to fare with sportcoats and slacks. Purchase wardrobe essentials several months in advance to be sure there will be time for alterations, if necessary. Enlist the help of family and friends to get many of the tasks completed. Upon asking, many couples find there are members of the family who have skills in certain areas, which can be tapped for the wedding. There may be a gourmet chef, a disc jockey, a photographer or even someone who can officiate the vows. Having these people on board means a great reduction in costs. Readying the Venue Because couples will be doing the work themselves, it’s best to start several days in advance of the wedding (weather permitting). Be sure the grounds are well groomed and landscaped. Ensure there are no tripping hazards and that there is a sturdy surface for placing tables or creating a dance floor. It may pay to ask an electrician or someone who dabbles in electric work to help string some lights to better illuminate the area, especially for when the sun goes down. Set up the tables and chairs to finalize placement the day before. Figure out where the ceremony will take place. A small arbor

can mark the area and make a nice photo backdrop. Dress the tables with linens and settings the morning of the wedding. One splurge couples may want to make is hiring a waitstaff to help set up food service areas, serve as bartenders and clear away dishes and other messes. This way the bride and groom can mingle with guests. Other Tips and Tricks Here are some other ways to save money on DIY weddings. • Fruit is less expensive than flowers for centerpieces. • Include postcard response cards in wedding invites. The postage is less, and you don’t have to spend money on an extra envelope. • Be sure to check with your town if you need a permit or variance for having so many cars parked by the house in the event of a backyard wedding. Otherwise you could be facing a fine. • Many different foods can be cooked in advance and frozen instead of hiring a catering service. • Consider favors that also double as table centerpieces. • Bouquets can easily be made with store-bought flowers, some floral tape and decorative ribbon. • Restrict the bar to wine and beer, and you’ll save money on expensive liquors. A DIY wedding can be a fun, memorable event that costs a couple a fraction of what it would be to have it held at an expensive location.

used. However, reception flowers can be where you show off your creativity and whimsy. After all, this is a party and it should be fun. You may want to give the florist more freedom of expression with regard to reception centerpieces and flowers that adorn other areas of the room. • Because receptions tend to take place in the evening hours and are often indoor affairs, experts say that added lighting may be needed to put emphasis on the floral centerpieces and help present them in their best light. You may want to think about hiring a lighting designer to spotlight some areas of the room or at the very least incorporate candlelight into your centerpiece arrangements. • To give the impression that there are more flowers than there really are, use fragrance and filler as your tools. Fragrant flowers can fill up the room with a welcoming aroma. Look for frangipani, lilies, hyacinths, jasmine, and sweet peas for a big impact. Florists know how to stretch arrangements by using greenery and other filler to lend bulk without too

much extra cost. •Experienced florists will know how long it takes certain buds to open and show off their maximum beauty. Therefore, expect a florist to be working on your floral arrangements as much as a week before the wedding date -purchasing containers, cleaning flowers and waiting for certain ones to open fully. Minimize changes close to your wedding date as most things will already be started. • It is possible to make your own centerpieces or bouquets if you so desire. Simplicity will work best for the novice. Think about grouping similar-hued calla lilies together for a bridal bouquet. Hydrangea and peonies are larger flowers that can easily fill up a vessel on a table as a centerpiece. White flowers will coordinate with any color scheme and could be the easiest to mix and match. White blooms include sweet pea, rose, camellia, stephanotis, narcissus, gardenia, orchid, lily of the valley, jasmine, and gypsophila. Flowers are one component of the wedding that will help achieve the magic and beautiful atmosphere couples desire.


January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

Page 17

Test out music vendors M

usic is an integral element of many of life’s special events. The score of a movie can carry a film, and a tender song can bring tears to a person’s eyes during a stage production. Many couples spend lots of time choosing a song for their first dance at their wedding. While that song is significant, couples should devote lots of time to choosing a band or deejay for the reception as well. Statistics compiled from a variety of sources, including USA Today, TheKnot. com and Brides magazine, point out that roughly 80 percent of guests say the thing they remember most about a wedding is the entertainment. When asked, many couples admit they wish they spent more time and money choosing their wedding entertainment. Music helps make memories and gets guests on their feet. Those who enjoy themselves most at the wedding are often the people who are on the dance floor. It is important to note that price shouldn’t be the deciding factor for wedding day entertainment. It is crucial to see the entertainment provider in action to judge for oneself just how good he or she is. One of the best ways to witness a deejay or band in action is to attend a wedding where they will be working. Find out if you can spend a little while peeking into a wedding and gauge guests’ responses to the music and find out how the entertainment engages the crowd. The entertainer may be able

Cuisine, page 14 While it may not be possible to provide for everyone’s specific requirements, it is possible to make some accommodations First, ask the catering manager how his company provides for guests who are vegetarians or vegans. Ensure that the meal will not be simply a bunch of garnishes and vegetable side dishes lumped together. In addition, couples should recognize that many people have now adopted gluten-free lifestyles. More and more restaurants and establishments have expanded their offerings to include gluten-free items, so it is important for the bride and groom to confirm. People who are diabetic and must limit their

to arrange this with a couple from an upcoming wedding so that you don’t necessarily have to crash the wedding. If a musical entertainment company is wary of letting you see players in action, it may be an indication to look elsewhere. Another good way to see for yourself if the entertainment factor is high is to pay attention to the bands and deejays used at weddings you attend. If you are planning nuptials in a year or the months to come, take the cards or information of the entertainers you come across at weddings and any special event parties. If there is someone who is doing an impeccable job, there should be no hesitation to hire that person for your own wedding. Don’t be embarrassed to ask a friend or family member for the name and number of their deejay. If you have specific music requirements, such as cultural music or certain versions of songs you prefer to be played, it is key to discuss this with the deejay or band ahead of time and confirm they can meet your needs. Certain wedding vendors may promise you the world but fail to deliver. Ask the deejay for a playlist to see his or her selections for the wedding. Find out if the band has a compilation they can send to you so you can see how they sound performing some of the more popular songs typically played at wedding receptions. If you like a particular band or deejay, double-check that the people you see

consumption of sugars and carbohydrates may appreciate a selection of sugar-free desserts or lower carbohydrate foods. When couples focus on meeting the needs of their guests, it shows they have put in the effort to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable at the wedding. Couples who have the environment in mind can choose to serve organic foods and look to catering facilities that purchase foods from local vendors and farms. If a banquet hall does not make such concessions, ask if specialty items that benefit organic and local food producers can be brought in. Some caterers will be happy to make the change, but it will likely affect the cost of the wedding package to do so. Food and drink will be some of the most costly portions of a wedding, and couples who are interested in keeping costs down

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playing are actually the ones who will be performing at your wedding. Many times performers are part of larger companies that have many people working under one name. If you’re not careful, you may not get the same performer you had hoped for. Request specific individuals if you want to guarantee that the music will be what you heard at a previous wedding or during a trial performance. Music can make or break a wedding reception. Invest ample time into selecting and trying out vendors to ensure fun is to be had by all. can still offer quality foods if they make some changes. Varying the time of day that the wedding is held can enable a brunch or luncheon wedding to take place. These foods are often less expensive and laborintensive to prepare, and therefore the cost savings are passed down to the bride and groom. Some couples opt for a cocktail and hors d’oeuvre-only reception -- which should clearly be indicated on the invitation so that guests can plan accordingly. An informal wedding may feature only a selection of desserts and specialty liquors. This may be the least expensive option. Food is an important factor at a wedding and it is in a couple’s best interest to ensure that the food served is tasty, full of variety and acceptable to the majority of the guests who will be attending the reception.


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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

Make guests feel special with these extra touches W

edding receptions run the gamut from small, intimate gatherings in a restaurant to large spectacles featuring hundreds of guests inside a banquet hall. At the heart of any wedding reception is the desire to present a memorable party for all in attendance. That being said, there are some steps couples can take to add extra indulgence to wedding receptions and really set them apart from the mundane. With the average cost of weddings now teetering around $28,000, couples certainly are pulling out expensive stops to treat guests to a good party. Although some may argue that spending tens of thousands of dollars on a one-time event is preposterous, there are scores of couples who want to splurge on an event that (hopefully) will be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. With this in mind, many want to add special touches to the wedding that will show guests how much they are appreciated and to make their celebration different from previous weddings. Here are some ways to do just that. • Butler-passed hors d’oeuvres: During the cocktail hour guests are mingling and taking advantage of the opportunity to engage in conversation. This may be the last real opportunity to chat amongst one another before the volume of the band or deejay drowns out discussions. Rather than disrupt the flow of conversation to make a trip to the food stations, choose butler-

Date from page 3 date cards at the same time you choose your wedding invitations. This way you can ensure that either the patterns, fonts, colors, or style of the cards will match. It will also help convey the tone of the wedding. Guests often take

passed hors d’oeuvres to bring food right to the guests. It lends a feeling of indulgence and is also a convenient way to keep guests satiated. • Valet parking: Most wedding venues provide on-site valet parking. However, if you’re using a restaurant or banquet hall that does not provide this service, you can hire a valet company to do the parking for guests. While you will be whisked to and fro in the back of a limousine, guests will have to do their own driving. Being able to exit the car right in front of the venue and not worry about finding a parking space will be convenient for guests. • Emergency toiletries baskets: Rather than spending money on an extra floral arrangement for the men’s and women’s restrooms, purchase items that can be grouped into

a handy basket. For women, include items such as extra pairs of stockings, spray deodorant, sanitary items, and sewing kits. For men, mints or mouthwash, dental floss, cologne, and stain removal pens may come in handy. In the event that a minor mishap occurs during the wedding, guests will have items at their disposal to remedy it. • Specialty courses: In addition to the cocktail hour and the main meal, you may be able to arrange specialty stations for guests with particular palates or interests. Some couples like to have a cigar smoking area or you can offer specialty cocktails. When ethnic customs are included in a wedding, menu items can be geared around native dishes. Candy and dessert bars are also popular to have at weddings, particularly if children are

invited. A flambe dessert presentation is both a spectacle and a treat. • Overnight accommodations: For the wedding that will run into the wee hours of the morning, offer guests a place to stay nearby to remove the hassle of driving home at a late hour. Some reception halls have arrangements with nearby hotels. For those that don’t, negotiate a discounted rate for wedding guests. Many do and will set aside a block of rooms for your event with a discount code. You may want to treat guests who choose to stay over to a complementary breakfast the next day as one final show of appreciation. • Special seating: Guests who may have mobility issues or difficulty hearing may appreciate being seated in certain spots for convenience. Seat the elderly or handicapped close to the exits and the restrooms if possible. When choosing a reception room, confirm the distance to the restrooms to make it convenient for those who may not be able to walk far. Those who may be sensitive to the music can be seated away from the speakers. And of course, every attempt should be made to seat individuals who may have conflicts with others away from one another. • Birthday and anniversary mentions: You can notify the band or deejay of any guests who may be celebrating their own special events on or near your wedding day.

their cues regarding the level of formality of the wedding from the type of stationery couples choose. As a general rule of thumb, it is wise to mail out the cards 6 months in advance for a standard wedding. If the wedding requires travel or extended overnight accommodations, you may want to mail them out 8 months to a

year in advance. Be sure to make your guest list in advance of sending out save-the-date cards. Everyone who receives a card should also be sent an invitation prior to the wedding. Remember to include members of your planned wedding party. Be sure to include the wedding date, your names and

the location of the wedding on the save-the-date cards. You do not need to offer RSVP information or detailed specifics at this time. Be sure to also include that a formal invitation will follow at a later date. Address the save-the-date cards to be clear about whether children will be invited and whether a guest can tag along.

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Party Event Planner

January 31, 2013

Wedding Planner

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Page 27

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Wedding Planner

January 31, 2013

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Wedding Planner 2013