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? e n i l e h t w a r d u o y o d e r e Wh A very simple guide. A meditation in words and photos #38 By Todd Vogel

This is a difficult one and requires practice None of this is new. Much you already know.

Three things to consider:

Doormats have their place.

Walls are not good boundaries.

Defining your space.

This book has lots of pictures. Look at them when you get confused about which side of the fence you are on.

Doormats I It is all about becoming right sized. Notions of being a savior often lead to a path called enabling.

Doormats II Some people do give the appearance of needing to be rescued. While it is nice to be needed (now and then), it can become an addiction and, like a doormat, you end up covered with mud.

Doormat III Is your self image wrapped up in someone else’s issues? Who’s going to pull you out when you get sucked down?

Walls I Walls, moats filled with alligators, fences topped with razor wire lead to a very lonely existence

Walls II Alcohol is a wall, a very effective one, which works both ways. Other substances or behaviors can accomplish the same thing.

Walls III Being in control, running the show is a moat in which you can easily drown.

Take a deep breath. Find your limits. Turn the page.

Defining your space. I There is a possibility it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Defining your space II Taking care of yourself does not mean you are selfish.

Defining your space III Saying “no” does not mean “I don’t love you.” Saying no can mean finding your true worth.

Photos and text by Todd Vogel Copyright 2009 all rights reserved copies of these photos and contact information available at

Now, was that so hard?

I hope you have found this book helpful—or something‌. This book is available via an online printer It very well might make a good gift for someone you know. Or you might buy it for yourself as a reminder to keep things simple. Go HERE to order Or Go to Very Simple Guides to see the entire selection. Thank you for your interest.


Not so simple as you might think, many of us have trouble defining these limits. this very simple guide tries to provide a place to start.