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October 2002 Polygamy

Hope C o l l e g e •

Holland, Michigan • A student-run nonprofit publication •

S e r v i n g t h e Hope C o l l e g e C o m m u n i t y f o r 116 years

Peace rally draws concerned crowd Hope community expresses views Kurt Koehler SENIOR STAFF REPORTER


AMCHOR P H O T O BY R O B O N D R A David Gonthier ('06), left, dribbles past a defender.

Soccer teams in playoff hunt Both teams in prime position for NCAAs Ben DeHaan S P O R T S EDITOR

Though Hope's fall sports season is beginning to wind down, two teams are still kicking - literally. Both the men's and women's soccer teams are leading the MTAA in their respective leagues and hold an excellent chance of receiving a bid to the post-season. The men's team is looking for their first conference championship s i n c e 1996, w h i l e t h e women's team looks to hoist the

conference title for the first time in the program's history. ' T h i s season has been absolutely f a n t a s t i c , " said L e i g h Sears, head coach for the Flying Dutch. "We have a lot of talented kids this year, and we knew that this year could be the year to turn our program around. But 1 don't think a n y o n e e x p e c t e d us to make this much improvement." Hope's men's team has only one more task to accomplish to qualify for the NCAA tournament; beat Olivet. Earlier in the season, Hope manhandled the O w l s 9 - 0 at h o m e . If the Dutchmen win again, they will

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"Hope against War." "Give Peace a chance." <4Seek Peace and Pursue it." "Bush's Weapons of mass distraction." These were some of the signs that showed up in the Pine Grove last Thursday as roughly one hundred students and faculty protested the Bush administration's proposed attack on Iraq. The rally was sponsored by the Hope Democrats with the intention of making students aware of the issue and of rallying support against it. ' T h e proposed war on Iraq has horrible implications for the nation and the world, so we wanted to raise awareness and gain support against the war," said Abbey Stauffer ('04), co-chair of the Hope Democrats. The rally featured presentations by Stauffer and fellow Hope Democrats co-chair Julie Wilcox ('04), Elizabeth Van Houwelingen ('03), Joel Toppen, professor of political science, Julie Kipp, professor of English, J.K. Granberg-Michaelson ('04), Steven Bouma-Prediger, prof e s s o r of r e l i g i o n , W e s l e y Granberg- Michaelson, general secretary of the Reformed Church of America, Jane Dickie, professor of women's studies, and Hillary Stone ('03). The rally started with opening remarks from Stauffer and Wilcox. Toppen gave the message that peace is possible. "Fewer people worldwide are dying in wars, and less fighting is

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A/VCHOft P H O T O BY Three Hope students listen at the peace rally. going on now than at any time in decades. Of course, that will not be the case if the United States initiates an aggressive assault against Iraq that destabilizes the entire Middle East," Toppen said. "A better world is possible." Kipp spoke about the war from the perspective of a romanticist poet. She read poetry by John Shelley and "September 1, 1939" by William H. Auden. Kipp also attacked a common analogy made by proponents of the war. "After all, the argument runs if we had invaded Germany in 1939 and taken out Hitler, lives would surely have been lost, but so too, millions of lives might have been saved. This seems likely to be true.


It's a hard argument to knock down, but it is also surely true that if Hitler had himself been raised differently, inspired differently, taught to love, to feel compassion for others and to see in them a reflection of himself, history would also have unf o l d e d d i f f e r e n t l y , " K i p p said. "Why is it that we so rarely take seriously the value of this type of preemptive measure?" B o u m a - P r e d i g e r spoke about 'just war' and how he felt that an attack on Iraq would not satisfy the criteria for a 'just war.' "From a Christian perspective, war on Iraq is morally indefensible. Just warriors abhor violence, but believe that it is justified in some

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Student collects signatures to change policy ^

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Some students dissatisfied with lack of privacy JenTroto CAMPUS BEAT EOOOR

Many students don't actually read all the forms and agreements they sign to attend Hope and live on campus. Some WyckoffCosmopolitan Hall residents wish they had. Section eight of Hope's Housing Agreement, under "Right of Entry," states: "...Further, college personnel may enter the Unit at any time for the investigation of possible violation of College policies, rules, regulations or violations of federal, state and local laws and regulations." Other reasons for entry, such as emergencies, cleaning and repairs, surround the above

J:__ but L... this .u;„ section is what concerns Anctin contests that that R.A.s R A are arp not not necesnpr.e.sAustin wording, sarily trustworthy, but even an honest R.A. Lucas Austin ('05), Student Congress sophowith good intentions could make mistakes. more class representative. According to AusA l s o , a c c o r d i n g lo tin, rooms in The policy stands as is. It Austin, the R.A. is not Wyckoff-Cosmo Hall were searched is effective and reasonable required to inform the r e s i d e n t ( s ) of t h e f during fall break and does not need to be search. this year - a not unOn the other hand, common occurreinvented. R o sanne DeVries, rence. -Rosanne DeVries, Resident Director in "If there's no one W y c k o f f -Cosmo, Wyckoff-Cosmo R.D. there, especially a points out that Hope's r e s i d e n t of t h e policy is not an unusual one. room to witness, a few different problems "I find Hope's policies to be consistent arise. If something turns up lost, broken or with those of other institutions both public missing, there's no way they can really place any liability on the R.A. (Resident Assistant) and private. Interestingly, in some ways, Hope's policy is less intrusive than clauses that searched the room," Austin said.


Inside A n c h o r © Hope.Edu

(616) 395-7877

Haunted Voorhees Spotlight, page 3

found found in in some some landlord/Ieasee landlord/Ieasee agreements," agreements, DeVries said. She also pointed out that the policy is important for students' safety. ' T h i s is an important policy, as it allows the Residential Life staff to perform their primary duty of securing and maintaining a safe environment for our students," she said. "If, and when, we exercise the Right of Entry into a resident's room, it is done so respectfully and with a minimum level of intrusion." Still, Austin and other students feel that the policy could be improved. "I want it made so that, unless there is an immediate danger or something that's going to cause problems in the very near future, if

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Happy Halloween! Ranchor, pages 5-8

Ahn trio visits campus Arts, page 10

Ultimate Frisbee Sports, page 12


yVnchor MEAP money no more?


Proposition 4, o n the ballot N o v e m b e r 5, c o u l d reallocate f u n d s Anjey Dykhuis SENIOR STAFF REPORTER

On November 5, residents from all over Michigan will go to the polls and vote for candidates for state r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s , s e n a t o r s , judges, secretary of state and various other positions. Several other proposals are also on the slate, one of which directly affects college students. Proposal 4 will eliminate the Michigan Merit Award (also known as Meap Money) in favor of various health care organizations. The Michigan Merit Award, as well as some state grants to at-need students, is funded by the tobacco settlement received by the state f r o m tobacco m a n u f a c t u r e r s . It would permanently drain 90% of the "tobacco settlement revenue," which ends up adding about 297 million dollars to budgets for nonprofit hospitals, nursing homes. Hospice, nurse practitioners, school health centers and the Healthy Michigan Foundation. It will also add money to fund programs for anti-tobacco use campaigns, the

O c t o b e r 30, 2002

Council of Michigan Foundations meeting the state's requirements on and Nurses Scholarship Program, the Meap exams. Colleges and uniand the Elder Prescription Drug versities all over the state are band% Program. ing to vote no on Proposition 4. Many with rank and voice also opOnce passed, this proposal will guarantee money to the beneficia- pose the plan, including Attorney ries, along with even more funding General Jennifer Granholm, Govfrom the tobacco settlement "on an ernor John Engler, Lt. Governor escalating basis," the ballot says. Dick Posthumus, Spectrum Health The Michigan Merit Award fund- of Grand Rapids, the Michigan ing will thus be completely diE d u c a t i o n Association and the verted, mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm League of Women's and t h e / encourage friends of Voters. funding T h e prof o r the Hope College to vote no on p o s a 1 $2,500 AA/CHOff P H O T O S Proposal 4. singles out scholarmoney from The ship will -James Bultman, tobacco end on president settlements January and alloI, 2003. cates money to a few select groups Once the funding is cancelled, at least 78,000 students who qualified without restrictions. If the proposal is defeated, the state reserves the for the award will no longer receive Western Theological continues the money, according to State Trea- right to give money from the settlebuilding additional classrooms and ments to special interest groups, as surer Douglas B. Roberts. office space (above). Peale con"These students and their fami- well as continuing funding for the struction continues (below). lies have likely made plans for that Michigan Merit Award. "I encourage friends of Hope money," Roberts said. "What a College to vote no on Proposal 4," shame it would be to have to tell said James Bultman, Hope presithem their hard work in the classdent in his Presidential Update. room is for naught." Should Proposal 4 be defeated, Currently, 83%, or 437 of Hope freshmen are receiving the Michi- all the groups in question will have rights to settlement money. gan Merit Award for exceeding or


Construction Chronicles

RALLY from 1 circumstances... To be morally justified, war must be the last resort. There must be a reasonable chance of success. There must not be any direct or intentional attack on noncombatants. By any fair assessment, I think a war on Iraq fails m o s t of t h e s e t e s t s , " B o u m a Prediger said. Wesley Granberg-Michaelson spoke about the R C A s perspective on a war in Iraq. "There is no difference of opinion amongst (many) church leaders as to whether this proposed intervention meets moral standards. The church's answer is, ^No, they do not,'" he said. Most student reactions to the rally were positive. "Christ talks about peace all the time, and if we are going to be followers of Christ, we need to speak peace, we need to do peace, we need to be peace throughout all aspects of our lives," said Marty Jordan ('04). Lynette Wehmer ( ' 0 3 ) agreed with Jordan and added a political observation.

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Students from throughout the Great Lakes Colleges Association will gather at Hope College on Friday and Saturday for the 12th annual GLCA Black and Latino Student Leadership Conference. The theme is "The Color of Our Future," and will celebrate the students' roles as future leaders in society. The objective of the conference is to enhance the leadership skills of students at the 12 institutions that are members of the GLCA, and to provide participants with an opportunity to socialize and build campus coalitions. Events will include two keynote addresses, workshops, comedic and musical performances, and a dance. The GLCA consists of 12 selective private

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Campus Briefs T j u n f f u s K n e t s

Briefs di itjb n ni

___ A/S/CHOR P H O T O BY R O B O N D R A Joel Toppen, professor of political sciences, speaks to the crowd at the rally.

article from an Indian newspaper about how if the U.S. is attacking Iraq for an unprovoked reason then India should be able to do that too," Wehmer said. One student who disagreed with the p e a c e r a l l y ' s m e s s a g e was Gabriel Wise ('06). Wise, a Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps, was wearing his service uniform at the rally. In an interview with the Holland Sentinel, he expressed his views. ' T h e y do bring up valid points, but are they willing to let Saddam build his weapons for 10 years and then let him unleash it and pay the price?" Wise said. "Right now, no, he's not attacking anyone. What if he does? He can do whatever he wants, and this man has a history of killing people. He's not building weapons not to use them." The rally was held just two days before a national peace rally in Washington, D.C. A number of Hope students attended that rally as well, and many plan to attend a citywide rally in Centennial Park at 10 a.m. on Saturday.



nrn liberal arts colleges located in Indiana, Michigan and Ohio. The co-chairs of this year's Black and Latino Student Leadership Conference are Alfredo Gonzales, associate provost, and Glinda Rawls, director of multicultural life. Sponsors of the event include the GLCA as well as several Hope-based programs and organizations: the college's Black Student Union, Comprehensive Plan to improve Minority Participation at Hope, Creative Dining Services, Dean of Students, Hispanic Student Organization, Multicultural Life Office, Office of the Provost and Student Activities Office. For additional information, call the Office of Multicultural Life at (616) 395-7867.

a search of the room is going to take place, at least one resident of the room should be present," Austin said. Austin has already raised the subject before Student Congress, where he found moderate support. "We've also started a petition," Austin said. ' T h i s petition is being sent forth to all dorm residents." The petition will be given to the dean of housing when completed. "Right now, I ' m getting a lawyer to draft up what would be our proposed changes to the housing agreement," Austin said. One of the main perceived problems with the current policy is that many students are oblivious to it. "I think our students need to exercise more responsibility regarding college policies and contracts. They are not reading, and they are

certainly not informing themselves as to the expectations of the colleges and their responsibilities and rights as students," DeVries said. Paul Hayes ('05), Student Congress representative for CosmoAVyckoff, is also concerned. ' T h e most alarming point for me was that most of the students we talk to don't really realize that their room can be searched without them knowing it, without them being there," Hayes said. Austin and Hayes hope to have made significant progress before winter break. They encourage students to share their opinions on the matter. Change may not come easily, however. "The policy stands as is. It is effective and reasonable and does not need to be reinvented," DeVries said.



O c t o b e r 30, 2002

Haunted more than one night of the year? Hope students organize one frightful night at Voorhees, and share the stories behind its supernatural nature Nicole Lantz SPOTLIHGT EDITOR

A real haunted house? Although many people believe there's no such thing, some people would argue that there is, and there might be one closer than you think. Every year f o r Halloween, Voorhees' haunted house is put on by its residents. The tradition has continued for 11 years now, and, according to Jeremy Davis ('03), Hope's haunted house takes place in Voorhees Hall for a reason. "We really are haunted," Davis said. The hall is rumored to be the home of Elizabeth Voorhees, who many people have claimed to see walking the corridors. "We have a couple of ghosts reported in Voorhees....Elizabeth haunts the Maas room," said Hilary Shepard ('04), the organizer of this year's haunted house. Stories of hauntings are nothing new to the current residents of the dorm. "Some people know something is watching them. They catch a movement out of the comer of their eye, they can feel a presence in the room, something moves for no apparent reason," Shepard said. Davis has had first hand experience. "I've had books flying off a shelf at me," he said. Although he doesn't claim to have seen Elizabeth, Jeremy did

have other information. "I have seen other ghosts in the hall, two women, a child, and a man wearing early 20,h century clothing," Davis said. 4 The women were dressed in petticoats; the gentlemen were very proper wearing vests and pocket watches." N Considering that his house in Illinois was once a funeral parlor, Davis doesn't seem to be too frightened by what he's seen. Instead of .running away from the ghosts, he did the opposite. "I tried to have a conversation with them. They were talking about some party in particular," Davis said. He did mention one encounter, however, that would have scared most people. "One guy seemed to be a very angry character with black hair and a black goatee," he added. There's more. In room 219, doors have been allegedly seen moving for no obvious reason. In room 314, the channels of the television change without any aid from those in the room. "If you step off the elevator on the second or third floor, people complain about having feelings of falling. The elevator was put in after they took the grand staircase out," Davis said. The elevator happens to be in the exact location the staircase used to be. With all of this in mind, most Voorhees residents don't seem too concerned. "I have no problem with it," Davis remarked. Every year, many of Voorhees' residents actively participate in setting up the haunted house in the basement. Shepard speculated that this year over forty people were involved in the process, and even more than that helped out behind the

\Ne have a couple of ghosts reported in Voorhees... Elizabeth Voorhees haunts the Maas room. -Hilary Shepard ('04), event organizer scenes. "My favorite part is the fun that we have together. It's a bonding experience....we get together to show people that we are crazy at times. A lot of the people involved I consider family," she said. "I see different sides of people that I wouldn't get from being in a class AMCHOF? P H O T O BY R O B O N D R A with them." The haunted house is strictly stu- Hilary Shepard ('04) and Valerie Falstad ('05) wait to dent run by current or previous resi- greet people as they enter a room of the haunted house. dents of Voorhees. Jim Librizzi ('05). When asked "We still have three people from what he felt was the scariest part, the original crew," Shepard rehe responded, "There was a random ported. More preparation is needed A/of m fear is bad. shirtless guy following us." than most people would think. It's good to be Matt Slack ('05) echoed this. "A Sbepard started preparing in Sepman kept w a l k i n g around and tember, but she didn't just volun- scared every once in into me." teer for the position. awhile; people need bumping Who exactly was this man that ''Everyone who's involved votes to learn to face their raised so much of the havoc of the on the leader for the coming year," night? It was Jeremy Davis himself, she said. fears. who commented that two girls acThose involved meet o n c e a -Jessica Wagar ('04) tually did pee on him this year. week to come up with new ideas All of the money raised from the for the rooms and supplies. haunted house goes toward mainWagar admitted that she prefers "Each year we try to come up taining and improving Voorhees or with new ideas," Shepard said. being the predator instead of the costs for the haunted house to come prey. "I'd rather be doing the scar' T h i s year we had a loony bin." the f o l l o w i n g year.In previous Some of the props are bought, but ing than being scared," Wagar said. most come from Hope's art depart- "But not all fear is bad. It's good to years, the money has enabled the ment. Jessica Wagar ('04) ran the be scared every once in awhile; purchasing of a new DVD player, loony bin this year. "We used my people need to learn to face their the buying and revamping a fish tank, and a hall trip to Tunnel Park. teddy bear, mostly just stuff lying fears." With new ideas and improveShepard personally considered around. You just have to think crements every year, the Voorhees' this year's haunted house as an 8 atively," she said. haunted house can only get scarier. on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the Setting up the props is just one And if you do decide to adventure small step in the process. Much of scariest. through Voorhees' basement next "We've been scarier," she said, the participants' fun comes from year, along with the extravagant "but we did have two people pee in scaring people. props and strangers following you "I dressed up as an inmate with their pants courtesy of a man wanwith blood dripping down their blood trickling from my face," dering the halls." Some of the students who went face, don't forget the background Wagar said. "I scared this guy so much that the jumped through the had similar feelings. "It was scary behind the building you're considbars of the loony bin. It was like enough to have a good time," said ering to enter. something from out of a cartoon." Shepard had more to add. "I have fun with shock value. I like to see people's reactions and give them something different than a normal experience." This year more than 300 people dared to venture into Voorhees' haunted house. Although they prefer no children under the age of 12, i the haunted house is also open to the community. "We want anyone and everyone to come," Shepard said. Shepard and Wagar also gave another reason for why they like to scare people. 'There are just some things that can't be explained," Shepard said. "If people can see this side, maybe Voorhees isn't all fun and games. In fact, sometimes its they won't freak out so much when downright scary, like last Saturday night. they these things in real life."


A/JCHOft P H O T O BY R O B O N D R A Jessica Wagar ('04), dressed as a vampire, waits in the comer to scare her next victims.

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T h e e x t r e m e apathy that is present on this c a m p u s is ridiculous. I h a v e written t w o c o l u m n s on this subject. O n e of these ran last w e e k (10/23), along with a c o l u m n on the very s a m e topic f r o m another m e m b e r of m y staff. Even a f t e r o u r c o m m e n t a r i e s , w e only h a v e t w o letters to the Editor this w e e k . I k n o w that things are h a p p e n i n g on this c a m p u s that are worth talking about. I h a v e tried to increase dialogue, but it obviously h a s n ' t w o r k e d . So, this w e e k , I h a v e reduced m y voice c o l u m n to a l l o w f o r m o r e ad space.

O c t o b e r 30, 2 0 0 2



Your voice

Your voice oice Ynur Tinirs m t r 7 ww Updates from Student Congress

Your Voice

Your voice

gress and SAC are co-sponsoring a concert on campus. This year we are We as a Congress would like to bringing Jars of Clay to perform. take this time to let you know what Along with this popular band we are we are doing for you. Over the sum- also looking forward to the James mer renovations were done on the Bultman Speaker Series. Last year Dow Center creating a larger weight we were fortunate enough to have room and cardiovascular fitness Ben Stein come and speak to us, room. Student Congress also co- who followed Maya Angelou from sponsored the Homecoming Ball the year before. This year we are with SAC earlier this year. While looking to bring another wellwe have started off on a positive known speaker who will maintain note, there are many additional im- the tradition of excellence that has provements that we would like to been put forth in years previous. As members of Student Congress see made around campus. We also plan on taking action on other up- we are elected by the Student Body to not only represent students on coming constituency concerns. h On January 1 r . Student Con- policy-making and event planning

To the Editor:

Your V

but also sit with faculty and staff on campus boards and allow the student opinion to be voiced. We encourage you to get in touch with your representatives and let them know what issues and concerns are important to you. The Student Congress office is located in the DeWin Center, and the executive board can be reached at extension 7881. You can also contact your area representative. We are looking for another successful year with congress and that cannot be done without your help. Good luck this year and we look forward to hearing from you. Hope College Student Congress

Students express opposition to Proposal 4 the state's money in the hands of private businesses that are not subThose who support Proposal 4 ject to the freedom of information claim the tobacco settlement that act? Does this remind anyone of the state received was supposed to the Red Cross disaster around 9-11? go to health care. This is not the Under Proposal 4, funding for the case. The money that Michigan re- y o u t h a n t i - s m o k i n g c a m p a i g n ceived had no strings attached to it; would be increased. Yes, youth the state is free to spend it as it sees smoking is a problem, but is spendfit. The settlement received was ing nearly $100 million dollars a compensation for what had already year over the next 20 years on a spent on health care over the last program that has been proven to be decade due to tobacco-related ill- completely ineffective the most nesses. Over that time span, money pressing need of the state? Nearly every public interest that was supposed to go towards education and paying down the group sees the danger in passing a state's debt was used to compensate bill that amends Michigan's constithe health care system. To pay back tution so that private corporations the health care system twice makes are guaranteed money, even when the rest of the state has to cut back. no sense. The motives behind this Pro- The following groups oppose Proposal are fueled by greedy private posal 4: the League of Women Votcorporations that would benefit ers; the Michigan Education Assofrom an increase in the state bud- ciation; the Michigan Chamber of get for health care. If Proposal 4 Commerce, and many others. Such were voted in, these private inter- respected public servants as former est groups would receive a guaran- Governor William G. Mililken as teed $300 million, a total of $6 bil- well as both Jennifer Granholm and lion over the next twenty years of Dick Posthumus, this year's major public money with no oversight party candidates for governor, opfrom public officials or the public pose Proposal 4. (List taken from itself. Is it really a good idea to put John Schwarz, Lansing State Jour-

To the Editor:

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Anchor Staff

Anchor Staff

Anchor Staff

Anchor Staff


editor-in-chief production editor campus beat editor arts editor sports editors spotlight editor infocus editor photo editor copy editors business manager distribution manager ad manager production asisstant advisor

Nick Denis Chad Sampson Jen Troke Maureen Yonovitz Ben DeHaan John Rodstrom Nicole Lantz David Gutierrez Rob Ondra Rebekah Oegema Abbie Matthews Danielle Koski Ellen Vigants Ana Santibanez Zamora Ryan Graves Mark Lewison

Senior Staff Reporters: Anjey Dykhuis, Kurt Koehler Staff Reporters: OHmAHmov, Jared Gall

nal 10/13/02) To balance the increased spending on health care and anti-smoking campaigns means our education system will suffer. The Michigan Merit Award Scholarship will be abolished. This scholarship awarded students who passed the MEAP test with a $2,500 scholarship, motivating students to excel in school and rewarding them for high achievement. Also on the chopping block is tuition aid for low-income students. In addition to destroying financial aid for college students. Proposal 4 will make drastic cuts in spending on senior citizen programs, K-12 education, and police and fire protection. What the issue boils down to is that private corporations wrote Proposal 4 in order to receive slate funding through health care. Do not be fooled by this! Proposal 4 is bad for students, bad for education, and will be a burden the state budget.

Travis Ruch ( ' 0 5 ) and Martha Bouwens (*05)

There will be no free coffee Wednesday night. The signs avertising free coffee were not authorized by SAC.

Letters to the Editor Guidelines Open to anyone within the college and related communities The Anchor reserves the right to edit due to space constraints No personal attacks, poor taste or anything potentially libelous

Photo Assisstant: Anneke Meeter Vie Anchor is a product of student effort and is funded through the students of Hope College, funding which comes through the Hope College Student Congress Appropriations Committee. Letters to the editor are encouraged, though due to space limitations the Anchor reserves the right to edit. The opinions addressed in the editorial are solely those of the editor-in-chief Stories from the Hope College News Service are a product of the Public Relations Office. Oneyear subscriptions to the Anchor are available for $20. We reserve the right to accept or reject any advertising.



2002 fall semester, Issue #9 of 25

Letters chosen on a first come first serve basis, or a representative sample is taken No anonymous letters, unless discussed with Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief may verify identity of writer The Anchor reserves the right to refuse publication of any letter submitted Letters over 500 words in length will not be considered for publication.

Mail letters to t h e A n c h o r c / o H o p e C o l l e g e , d r o p t h e m off at t h e A n c h o r o f f i c e ( l o c a t e d in t h e c e n t e r o f Dewitt, behind





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Hope C o l l e g e • H o l l a n d , M i c h i g a n • A s t u d e n t - r u n n o n p r o f i t p u b l i c a t i o n • S e r v i n g the H o p e C o l l e g e C o m m u n i t y f o r 116 y e a r s

Mope launches preemptive strike on Kalvin Koncerned Kampus forms H-team to head off the Knights Curt Polite BROKEN STAFF

Kee-ai. Oh-ah. Kee-ai! That is the sound of Mope College's fearless leader, Jimbo Bultmanis practicing karate. In recent weeks, aides to Mope's president have noticed him take a greater interest in everything from martial arts to hunting to physical fitness. "Ever since he saw that rerun of Mr. T. a few weeks ago, he's been working ridiculously hard to be just like him. All he has said lately is 'be like T over and over again. It's driving me crazy. In fact he's now calling himself Mr. B," said a Senior Mope College Administrative Assistant. Pawn said that B u l t m a n i s ' daily training regimin now includes three hours of martial arts in the morning, followed by five straight hours of aerobic exercise. What's the motivation? Well, "After he got obsessed with Mr. T he got into this preemptive stuff big time," said Robert Snow Dean of Everything. "Dubya called him personally last week and sold him on the idea, and all we've been hearing since is preemptive this and preemptive that. All he talks about is the threat that Kalvin could possibly pose to the





Preemptin' it: Mope has spent long hours devising a foolproof strike against the Knights of Kalvin that will take them completely by surprise. free world and that something must be done about it. Like maybe instituting a new dress code. Like having to dress up like their favorite A team member." When asked exactly what is up though, Bultmanis was less than forthcoming: "I haven't made a decision quite

yet, but it will be something Mr. T would do, only I'll do it preemptively." After being asked when the strike at the renegae Knights might take place, Bultmanis was non committal. "It could take place Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

Friday, or Saturday, but not on a Sunday," Bultmanis said. ' T h e true issue is not when we might preemptively strike, but that something must be d o n e a b o u t the threat Kalvin may or may not someday pose to M o p e . " The H-team leaderalso was not specific about the kind of threat that Kalvin may

You don't say: GSF changes name Discussion group adopts symbol as new moniker

We saw some problems with the old name... -Liz M o w a g i n ('05), president

Gallstaff S O C E R E R OF L I G H T

Since its inception, the Gay Straight Friends g r o u p has g o n e t h r o u g h many changes, including five name changes, and it is about to endure another. According to an official release from the group last Tuesday, GSF will be changing its name to a symbol. The group will now officially be known as 1 ? - . The name change came out of the group's most recent meeting. It was decided that the name could possibly be offensive. "We thought that someone, somewhere, sometime, might find something about the old name offensive. We are just trying to be proactive with this," said a random member ('03). "We saw some potential problems with the old name," said Fizz Mowagin ('05), ^ president. "We want to make sure that the group is promoting discussion, and we felt the name too restrictive, so we switched to the symbol, which allows people to pro-

CHANCIN' IT: GFKGSF's new symbol name. Mope College president Jimbo Bultmanis agrees with the name change. "I really think that this will promote unity because of the way that it confuses what the group is actually about. People will be too busy trying to figure out what the symbol means to discuss any really hot topics," Bultmanis said. But the change hasn't been all roses. Some students are concerned about the fact that the symbol cannot be represented with words. "I mean, what are we supposed to call them? The only way to talk about it would be with a large picture of the symbol to hold up during a conversation," said Flat Book ('04). Some students have also expressed some

confusion about the circumstances surrounding the change. "I wasn't aware of a problem in the first place," said That Guy ( 4 07). "It seems to me that they are just acting on some perceived notion about how people feel." Mowagin has some suggestions for working through these issues. M o w a g i n had this to say a b o u t the pronouncability of the name: "So far, we have been referring to ourselves as the Group Formerly K n o w n as G a y S t r a i g h t F r i e n d s (GFKGSF), and that's worked pretty well." Focusing on the notion that the issue didn't exist, she reached for an explanation, and came up with. "It is true that we have received no specific complaints from the student body, but that d o e s n ' t mean that the problem doesn't exist. We are trying to preemptivley solve this possibly huge problem."

or may not pose to Mope now or in the future. "Who knows. There is the possibility that Saddam, Osama or even the ghost of Stalin might take over Kalvin someday. T h e n w h e r e would we be? I'll tell you, Kalvin would have the bomb and we would have a hostile college less than a hundred miles from our campus. 1 cannot allow that on my watch." As part of his yet to be defined strategy to counter this potential threat, the H-team guy is now forming a campus organization to be called the Mope Militia, or MM for short. He hopes the militia will be a powerful and diverse force on campus. "We won't be limiting membership to just humans. Black squirrels, monsters, cyborgs, ghosts, zombies, and zergs will also be allowed to join. Diversity is very important to us," said Bultmanis. Of course. The new g r o u p already had to change its name before it was recognized and funded by the school. F o r m e r l y k n o w n as the M o p e People's Militia, the group was forced to change its name to Mope Militia due to concern that the word "people" sounded communist. "We don't want to encourage communism on campus. The biology department was able to bring that preserved corpse of Lenin back to life last year and he's been causing nothing but trouble since."

PREEMPTIVE from 4 / 2 / 2 0 0 3 until public safety arrived and broke up the gathering. It took the Hope cleaning staff six hours with a pressure washer to get all the cheese out of Dimwitt patio. "I was amazed at the entire ordeal," said Jeremy Beeman (06') "I have never seen so many llamas in such a small space, and I have no idea what they thought they were going to do with 200 rolls of Saran Wrap." Although they have not yet been located, Vandyke and Normand are scheduled to go before the Judicial Horde on Monday. "We cannot allow actions like this to be associated with our organization," said Krista Deold, head of the Fellowship of Christian Students. "We don't even believe in vegetable sacrifice." The bulldozer and bird bath were confiscated early yesterday morning, but public safety is still trying to determine the whereabouts of the 12 Bengal tigers. "We are getting pretty close to solving this case," said a random public safety officer. "We figured out the Big Boy sign and the beehives, but we still don't know what the army of garden gnomes was about."


God makes mistake, mammal lays egg, Page 5280

Nerd thinks mermaid is "like, totally hot", Page 54

Meale center burns, students hold weenie roast, Paqe 1.4

Prof writes new book, Page 8


F e b t o b e r 46, 3025


Good triumphs again in preemptive rush Minervan Fraternity in trouble, searching for Ocams Ocarina

notes for the next five dungeons, showing that Bombadil was going to be seduced by the evil powers of Melkor. Rather than fight him in the future our halfling Buggens the Bold preemptively cut his head off." Robert Snow, Dean of Everything, made Chet Champson WANDERING RANGER no comment about the preemptive rush but After years of difficulties the Minervan fra- he did express his anger at the actions of Buggens the Bold, seeing as how Bombadil ternity is trying a new strategy to get memwas going to be controlled by him bers. at the next D & D meeting. "With all the restrictions that Other members of administrathe administration has put on us tion are confused and surprised by for the last few years we have the preemptive rush. "I have been been having problems getting having meetings with the Minervan members," said Lewis Honeycutt ('01) Minervan fraternity presip r e s i d e n t for two m o n t h s n o w about rush," said Army Garrison dent. "So this year our fraternity director of Geek life. "1 was really will be holding a pre-emptive surprised to wake up one morning rush, taking the administration and find dice and character sheets completely by surprise." T Pinkerton all over the Kletz floor." Teddy Pinkerton ('02) fraternity member and Dungeon masThe preemptive rush was kicked off by an all night gaming session in the ter said that the idea for the pre-emptive rush Dimwitt Center. The rushees drew up nine c a m e f r o m last s e m e s t e r ' s battle w i t h characters and went in search of the Ocams Bombadils Balrog Berserkers. "Bombadil was the white wizard of the eastern fords. Ocarina Ogeor Eagerness. They had gotten wind that it was being held in Mordack, the The rest of the fraternity members found my

The Minervans will go before the Geek judicial hoard on Friday. "We are not expecting to s u s p e n d t h e M i n e r v a n s , " s a i d Garrison,"but we will look into their use of high sugar beverages at events and let them know that rush is too important of a thing to be done preemptively." 2001. The Minervans don't seem to be too wor"Our quest was unsuccessful," said Dave "Wonker" Dixon ('05) one of the rushees. ried about meeting. "My water mage spent all night memorizing Mordicki's "But my thief tried to pick the Mask of Madness for the hearing," lock all night without any sucsaid T e d d y P i n k e r t o n ( ' 0 2 ) , cess. I asked the public safety Minevan haze master and dungeon o f f i c e r s if they h a p p e n e d to master. "It worked on the terrible have a better percentile dice but kobold of North Hampton and it they just wanted to know what should work on the judicial board I was doing at the door to Presitoo." dent Bultmanis' office." Despite the hearing, the rushees When public safety showed seem to be rallying for another up at about 6 a.m. most of the chance at the ocarina. Two memrushees ran for the side exit, but L. Honeycutt bers were seen entering their house some were already to strung out with a case of Mountain Dew, varion Mountain Dew and potato ous role-playing materials and helmet made chips to make a break for it. "I picked up two students that had so much of cardboard and aluminum foil. When asked to comment on the rush, sugar in their blood that they couldn't even Bultmanis simply fingered his wand of wonroll a 20 sided dice," said a random public der with an ominous laugh. safety officer.

necromancer's lair. Mordack is played by Jimbo Bultmanis, Mope College President, at most hoard of trustee meetings. Bultman attained the Occarina in exchange for Fizbans Cloak Feather Fall, which he had confiscated from the fraternity house in the summer of

Band holds preemptive tour Bob Mantra LEVEL FIVE WHITE MAGE

Under the assumption that their new album would flop in the charts. Triumph frontman Rik Emmett announced a preemptive tour even before the songs are written at a press conference on Friday. "We think [the new album] might have some songs that are kind of lame, but we're not sure," Emmett said. Since E m m e t t ' s departure from the band in 1988, Triumph has released one studio album and two compilations. The trio recently reformed to record a new album, but has not yet done so. Emmett. along with Gil Moore and Mike Levine,

opted to go on tour to promote the new album before they had even begun to write. "We hope our actions will pave the way for other classic rock bands to lour before they record new albums, too," Moore said. The tour will cover 341 venues in 23 countries over a period of three years. When asked why such a long tour was planned, Emmett expressed the hope that "maybe when we're done with [the tour|, we'll have thought of something to write about it." Triumph, and especially Emmett, may have ulterior motives for the tour.

"Ever since we first formed Triumph, in 1975, people have referred to us as 'the poor m a n ' s Rush.' We're going to show those good-for-nothings that we're not just an imitation of Canada's greatest rock band ever. W e ' r e Triumph!" He went on to say "I was happy with my solo career until all the hooplah started up again with [Rush's] new album. I had a mission." Rush was unavailable for comment Triumph has only had two gold r e c o r d s , " A l l i e d F o r c e s , " and "Never Surrender." They were released in 1982 and 1983 respectively. FfAAJCHOPf


Team in' up-. The H-Team's victory pose

Player Clmracters^* Player Charac Player Characters actei's yer Char a bodybuilding elf tree hugging ranger liolier-than-thou cleric shifty halfling big dumb fighters first time gamer corrupted monk Iv. 5 white mage anal necromancers greedy thief overrated hireling fast-talking bard wise alchemist dungeon master

Spelling errors attacked preemptively

Igor Chet Champson Sister Broke Mukey Bear Blor Ugla Icky Lance Antonio Benares "Goody-Goody" Mantra Rida Storees Choppa Storees Dorthy Costkey Melon Fire ants Nina Gamora Afro Tombs The Master


Random Mercenaries: ASJ Well-house, Toilet King NPC's: Palm Olive, Johrathan Seagull Mage-in-training: Meter Maid The Ranchor is totally made up. in case you couldn't figure that out. These things never happened, though we think they should. All opinions represented in Ranchor stories represent that of the story's author.

the 2015 winter semester, Issue #27 of 25

Feeling long in the face? So are we. Mope Counseling center.

Jimbo Bultmanis, President of Mope College, issued a statement c o n d e m n i n g spelling errors on Tuesday mourning. "Their have been two many of them," Bultmanis said in his statement. Roburt Snow, Dean of Everything agrees. "College students should be able to look at words and no witch word is witch," Snow said. Snow also concluded that the lack of spelling etiquette goes far beyond students. "This is a far reaching problem. It goes threw the very heart of Mope College and it's staff," Snow said. Bultmanis believes that students deserve they're education, and that that education involves correct spelling. "Spelling is vitally important too a student's education," Bultmanis said. Both Snow and Bultmanis agree that behind wor'd piece and food for the needy, spelling correctly is

the most important thing in this world. ' T h e bases of humanity rests on being abel to communicate correctly, and spelling is part of that," Bultmanis said. "I wish students could no the words I no so they can communicate as I communicate," Snow said. Snow and Bultmanis have initiated the Spelling Be Task Force. "Know student or faculty member should have two look in a dictionary after this knew task force arrives at it's proposal," Snow said. Snow does caution students not too bum there dictionaries yet since the Spelling Be Task Force has not reached any conclusive decision. "It could bee months or years b e f o r e the s p e l l i n g task f o r c e reaches a decision, and even then it may not mean anything," Snow said. For now, Bultmanis and Snow urge students to spell check they're work on the computer and always carrie a dictionary with them, even though they both confess that neither will help a student with words that are homaniems.


2 % ^ a r i c h o r

F e b t o b e r 46, 3025

Holland launches preemptive strike on Mope Long long long time conflicts in West Michigan finally come to long awaited war Bob Mantra STAFF BIKER

Shortly after the announcement to launch a preemptive strike on longetime adversaries Kalvin Kollege, Mope College administrators received word that the town of Holland was planning a p r e e m p t i v e strike against Mope. Holland City Council voted in favor of a swift and just attack, citing Mope's further incursion into city neighborhoods. "If Mope College is allowed to continue its campaign of purchasing more houses and buildings for expansionist purposes, the security and safety of Holland's citizens might be compromised," said Jaap DeNooryersma, a representative for Holland. Mope College's Horde of Trustees announced a radical imperialistic campaign under the code name "Legacies: A Vision

of Mope" in 2000. Under this program. Mope has purchased the Western Foundry site at Fairbanks Avenue, and Eighth Street, and Lincoln School at Columbia and lO"1, within the last year. These sites are known to Mope's administration as the "Eastern Gateway." Concerned citizens and lawmakers held an emergency meeting of the city council in order to address the issue. They began working on a strategy to contain Hope's unchecked expansionism and revealed its plan the other day. This was followed by crumpets and tea at 94 North. The city of Holland is waiting for a grant from the state of Michigan in order to buy the land around Hope to box them in and create a buffer zone, to prevent further hostilities. This, the council believes, will prevent Mope from going ahead with its plan to "acquire neighboring property for both green space and potential further development." The Mope administration has yet to respond in an official capacity, but a friend of mine overhead a friend thiers, say that Tarah and Steve's relationship is on the rocks again.



iti Holland soldiers on the long march to Mope.

Trouble in Middle Earth The elves are angry Rita Storees ARTSY PERSON

T h e r e ' s t r o u b l e b r e w i n g in Middle Earth, but it's not a problem of good and evil. It's about elves. The mystic controversy ensued one recent eve when a certain Bilbo Baggins of Bag End decided to hold a party in honor of his 11 l lh birthday. Due to his colorful life and many travels, many different guests of honor were included in the invitations, including Gandalf the Grey, hobbits of assorted s h a p e s and sizes, dwarves of the lonely mountain, several elves of Mirkwood, and, of special note, the Lord of the Eagles. "I wanted to be sure that no one was left out of these festivities, which are sure to bring about merriment and keg-fulls of enjoyment," said Mr. Baggins. "It's bound to be a jolly ol' time". The theme was determined to be



Dancin it: Phillip Dykema ('06) dresses as lizard man for Mope college Biology departments first eve dress-as-your-favorite-mammel dance



a fete of Elvish theme, featuring Elvin shoes and dress, frolicking, giggling and speaking in the Elvish tongues of Quenya and Westron. When the merrymakers gathered, frolicking ensued, and kegs of several unspecified beverages were rolled out. Soon, phrases such as "what up, kuduk (hobbit)," and "hey-ho, razan (foreigner) " were heard echoing throughout the lane. However, a controversy soon reared its frightening Orcish head. Several elves were o f f e n d e d , positing the party was intended to demean their dress and culture. "Not everyone can use the word "kuduk1 correctly", said Luthian, a prominent Elvish figure. "It should only be used by certain Elves who have known 'kuduk* in their lives. ' T h i s problem was never an issue when we brought the Ring to Mount D o o m " said another unspecified, but hotly flustered elf. The group of elves began protesting by chanting and shouting. Several hobbits who on the party's planning committee were quick to

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apologize, but were not heard over the growing din of protesting Elvish noise. The consensus of the multitude of dwarves present was to question there even being a protest, or for that matter, an initial problem. " C o n t r o v e r s y ? What controversy? The only controversy I'm aware of is my argument I had with my cousin Bilfour over the last leg of my MLT (mutton lettuce and tomato)" said Bofur, an uninterested dwarf. "However, this unspecified beverage is fantastic." For s o m e , i n c l u d i n g several VIP's, the din was unable to be ignored, so Gandalf and the rest of the White Council spearheaded a Task Force to discuss the issue. Far after the party ended, the council continued to meet until they forgot what they were discussing and decided to save discussions for another day and instead engaged in feasting, napping, and listening to Triumph's latest album. Discussions are postponed until an undisclosed later date.

& Nerd Mean



& m 'A train. Choo choo!" - K a t Stephens ('04)


C "Being a Christian, I refuse to observe such absurd Pagan traditions like Halloween . . .but if I did, I'd be a vampire." â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Hans Yivleck ('01)

d "My mom used to tell me that I was scary enough without a costume." - B r i a n "Skeeter" Johnson C04)

"I think I should dress as a man to improve the ratio." â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Ophilia Czyckowski ('01)

"A pink, fluffy bunny. - R a t Man ('02)


J a n u a r y 1, 1482

T O R C . O

Mope takes action to protect own nuts Terrorist squirrels held accountable for diminishing nut supply B r i a n M. C h a m p i o n LONG-HAIRED STAFF

In an effort to thwart the recent strain of nut-foraging terrorist acts by rebel squirrels throughout the Mope College campus, a resolution has been passed in the hopes of e l i m i n a t i n g the e v e r - g r o w i n g threat to the college's nuts. " O u r goal is to deter terrorist squirrel regimes from threatening the acorns and walnuts, our friends and allies," said Jimbo Bultmanis. President of Mope College. Formed in 1992, the Mammalian Liberation Organization has unleashed a frenzy of terror activity against the deciduous population of the c a m p u s . B u l t m a n i s cites the group's history of defiance and unwillingness to compromise in Task Force negotiations as a sign that stronger action is necessary. "Their era of malevolence must end," Bultmanis said. "We see it every day: their attacks against the kind-hearted kernels of the natural world. With sheer brutality they

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MUNCHIN' IT: An evil squirrel steals one of Mope's prized nuts take, consume, and destroy these innocent beings. We must s h o w them that this campus will not tolerate such aggression." T h e squirrels are not the only group to be held responsible for their actions. The president wants it to be perfectly clear that those found supporting the deviants will be held accountable.

"Those who harbor - who support - these villains will not go unp u n i s h e d , " Bultmanis said. "The trees that hide them, the bushes that conceal their movements, the Phelps food that feeds them - they too shall know our wrath." Past attempts to discipline the squirrels have failed to convey the school's message. One member of

the task force is taking this fact to heart. "We've tried to teach them," said Army Garrison, assistant director of h o u s i n g . "I used my f o o l p r o o f methods of assigning them community service, and scheduled decision making workshops, but it just didn't work. I felt so helpless. You never would have seen this at my school." T h e s e feelings of helplessness led to action by the head administrators. "The first three task forces didn't work like we were hoping," said Robert Snow, Dean of Everything. "Then we decided to create a Super Task Force so that no one could stop our divine will of oppression." The 40-person task force formed 14 months ago presented its preemptive-strike doctrine on Monday. The manifesto speaks of a "holy war" against the rogue mammals in the hopes of deterring any future aggression toward the passive nut community. "What kind of message would we be sending our alumni and donors if we declared a 'regular' war a g a i n s t t h e s e vile m a m m a l s ? " Bultmanis said. " W h a t ' s great

about this new pre-emptive strike doctrine is that we incorporate our faith with the fighting." Although the plan has a religious influence, the Mope administration wants no person, race, or ethnic group to feel left out. "We wanted to give the war a r e l i g i o u s o p t i o n , " an u n n a m e d Mope mole confided. "We're not making all our operators wear a cross, or go to chapel before they attack the squirrel population; we just want them to know they have that choice. We want people from all walks of life to feel welcome to j o i n our cause; I think that fact makes our particular J i h a d - C r u sade' |as I like to call itl unique." The school is approaching this threat by making sure that there is no question as to M o p e ' s motives. "Squirrels like these and their terrorist allies constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the sanctity of the campus," a recent Mope news release explained. "The price of i n d i f f e r e n c e w o u l d be catastrophic. We can't stop short. Mope College and its allies must act now. It is our responsibility and our privilege to fight f r e e d o m ' s fight,"

Stormtroopers employed to stop parties Mope College stop parties before they start Chet Champson THAT G U Y

The evils of party life will no longer plague the Mope College Community. This weekend, potential partiers were surprised to find that after the success of the party patrol, the Mope administration has employed a preemptive party patrol force, also known the Mope Stormtroopers. Students were taken completely surprised by a wave of busts on Saturday afternoon.

" M y friend and I were just sitting around our house when there came a knock on the d o o r , " said G u y Harry ( 0 3 ' ) and m e m b e r of t h e Neopolitan Fraternity. "Next thing I know the door was being rammed in and these guys in stormtrooper gear come rushing in." Despite the fact that there were only two people in the house, and three u n o p e n e d pop c a n s , the stormtroopers wrote 15 M l P ' s and preemptively confiscated 4 kegs. College officials are enthusiastic about the new policy. "We have made a big step toward a safer campus," said Robert Snow, Dean of Everything. "Last weekend


This [explative deleted] sucks! -Carrie VanVan ('05) _ / we busted 2 5 parties, and none them had even started yet." All of last weekend's party busts happened between the hours of two and four p.m. Though none of the parties had actually started, or were showing any signs of every starting, every house was shut down immediately and M l P ' s were distributed to attendants that weren't there

yet. "We stopped two girls walking down fourteeth street in the middle of the afternoon," said Joe Smith m e m b e r of the Storm Troopers. " O n e of t h e g i r l s b l e w a . 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 on a b r e a t h a l y z e r . W h e n she wouldn't tell us where the party she would later be leaving, we had no choice but to take her in." Mope students are not enthusi; astic about the new policy. "This [expletive deleted] sucks," said Carrie VanVan ('05). On Monday morning, some faculty m e m b e r s held a c o n f e r e n c e q u e s t i o n i n g if students could be

held responsible for parties they had never held or atttended. None of these faculty members have been seen since the meeting. Snow was, however, seen running f r o m Blubbers hall wearing a Darth Vader outfit and carrying a light saber shortly after the meeting. M e a n w h i l e , s t u d e n t s are left with no defense. " H o w am 1 supposed to finish 30 hours of community service? 1 keep thinking they're going to preemptively kick me out for not finishing it," said Roger M i e h e d (*09). "Yesterday they tried to take me to the hospital, perfectly sober, for a preemptive stomach pump.


Mope College Academic Helping Center Helping you be the Bast student you can be for 147 years in a row.

A r i e s : Despite your L e o : Listen. Strange overbearing confidence women lying in ponds disand efforts, Ace of Base tributing sword is no way will not be inducted into to base a monarchy. You the Rock & Roll Hall of can't expect to wield supreme executive power Fame. because some watery tart Taurus: The next time threw a sword at you. you break into my house looking for old Virgo: Pay no attention to John Denver tapes the man behind the cardwear a pair of gloves. board cut-out of Patrick Stewart. G e m i n i : Y o u r boyfriend's a jerk, but Libra: Remember this: up, up, down, down, left, right, I'm free. left, right, B, A, select, start. Cancer: If a strange man in a black cape S c o r p i o : In case your with a thick accent asks were wondering, no. if he can come over for tea, just tell him you live Sagittarius: Look out! The on a garlic farm. imaginary elves are back.

Capricorn: Never ever lick the power outlet again.

A q u a r i u s : Next week you will either be voted into office or be locked in a cubical with the Teletubbies. Guess which one. Pisces: Duck


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Ahn Trio comes to Hope Classical Piano Trio to perform at Dimnent next Wednesday David Gutierrez INFOCUS EDITOR


Sisters Maria, Lucia, and Angella Ahn make up the classical group, the Ahn Trio.

Theater dept. presents 'Carousel' Maureen Yonovitz ARTS EDITOR

This year, with its biannual musical in sight, in correspondence with the centennial of musician Richard Rogers' birth, the Hope College Theatre Department pr'esents Rogers' and Hammerstein's "Carousel." The play will make its debut on Friday and Saturday. Nov. 15 and 16, with continued performances Nov. 20-23. All performances will take place in the DeWitt Main Theatre at 8 p.m. According to Daina Robins, theatre department chairperson and director of "Carousel," the focus of the play centers around "a community of New England fishermen, whalers, hard-working folk searching for what we all areâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;connections to others, a sense of purpose, and meaningful, loving lives." "Carousel grapples with timeless human struggles, like disillusioned love and moral consequence," said Anne Mathias ('03). It is also a love story between the two main characters: Julie Jordan, a factory worker, and Billy Bigelow, a carousel barker. "Through the central relationship in the play in the play, we experience the difficulty in leading healthy, happy lives with those we love," Robins said. "It's about making mistakes, making big ones, that have consequences." Both the cast and director assert, however, that " C a r o u s e f s " main attraction is the music. "The music in Carousel is beautiful and a jewel of the performance, and the dancing is incredibly imaginative and unique," said Sarah Luneack ('04). Brenna Bosma ('03) agrees, adding that it is the audience that brings this all together. "Nothing is more exciting than watching an audience respond to all the hard work you've put into a production," Bosma said. Tickets for "Carousel" will be available starting November 4 and are $4 for students, $5 for faculty and staff, and $7 for the general public. They may be purchased in the DeWitt ticket office or by calling (616) 395-7890.

The Great Performance Series continues with a November 6 concert featuring the Ahn Trio. This will be the first time that twins Maria and Lucia, along with their sister Angella, compose the classical piano group bringing their new breed of chamber music to the ears of the college community. The buzz is out, and a following for the sisters' unique music has formed. " T h e y ' r e kind of an unusual group; not one that you get to see a whole lot in classical music," said Derek Emerson, arts coordinator. "They do a lot of contemporary music and t h e y ' r e not afraid to break out of the classical setting." This originality is one reason why the group may be appealing to those not acquainted with the classical realm of music. The trio has

made numerous media appearances and has gained much attention within the music world. "They are very well trained as classical musicians," Emerson said. "Their first couple recordings they played the classical music and showed that they could do it and p e r f o r m it well. But then they started stretching out." This "stretching out" is allowing them to reach groups that the standard classical group might not reach, and something that may appeal more to a college aged audience. "This is a group that, to me, is made for college students and that's why I'm bringing them in," Emerson said. ' T h e y play differently; they don't care about a lot of the things that keep people away from classical music." Bom in Korea, the sisters made their debut on Korean television, and then went on to study music at the renowned Juilliard School of M u s i c . S i n c e t h e n , they h a v e amazed critics with their classical piano performances, while reach-

ing new audiences through television appearances and their renditions of contemporary pieces. ' T w o of their pieces haven't been heard yet," Emerson said. "They were written for the trio and they just released their new CD last week, so we're seeing them very early on." The appeal of the unique group is something that Emerson hopes will bring a new, younger crowd to the concert. "1 really hope a lot of students will be there," Emerson said. "If they haven't heard classical music, or they don't think they would like classical music, I really think they should go see this group. I think p e o p l e may be pleasantly surprised." The concert is set for Wednesday, November 6, at 8 p.m. in Dimnent Memorial Chapel. Tickets are $14 for regular admission, $12 for senior citizens and $5 for Hope College students. Tickets will be on sale Monday-Wednesday, November 4-6 at the DeWitt Center Box Office, and at the door if available.

CMS welcomes Sarah Masen Christian singer comes to Dimnent Jared Gall STAFF REPORTER

Hope's Christian Music Series is winding up for round two with Sarah Masen in the Knickerbocker Theater on November 15 at 8 PM. The Christian Music Seriesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a joint effort between arts department staff, the Chaplain's office, and the Social Activities C o m m i t t e e , is funded mostly by a private donation to the College from a Holland area family. This allows organizers of the event to keep ticket prices down. Masen will be the second act in the new concert series this year, following a very successful show early in the year by Jennifer Knapp. Derek Emerson, Hope College Arts Coordinator and organizer of the events, was very pleased with the turnout at the K n a p p c o n c e r t , and is hoping to build on that event's success. T i c k e t s for J e n n i f e r K n a p p s o l d out v e r y quickly, and E m e r s o n expects that tickets for Masen's concert may go even quicker. Masen, a solo artist, will be play-

can get a small taste of Masen's mumi sic at Chapel

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"Sarah Masen will really challenge people spiritually, and raise some issues for them to think about," Emerson said. Other dates on the Christian Music Series ticket include Jars of Clay on January 11th, Michael Card on F e b r u a r y 14, and F r e d Hammond on April 5th. Tickets for the show go on sale to Hope students November 6th, and become available to the public on the 8th. Tickets are $5 for Hope students, $10 for general admission, and can be purchased at the Dewitt Center Box Office.

many people as mmmmmmmmmm Dimnent Chapel. "Most solo artists prefer smaller venues," Emerson said, adding that the Knick is "a more intimate setting." Those who miss out on the just over 500 tickets available for the event

Sarah Masen Christian music artist


Parents' Weekend soon to take place on Hope's campus Parents return for weekend of events Anjey Dykhuis SENIOR STAFF REPORTER

This year's Parents' Weekend, from Nov. 8-10, promises to be full of fun and excitement, especially for parents who haven't seen their freshmen since Orientation. It is sponsored by the office of Student Activities, and more information is available at 395-7800. Various organizations around campus will sponsor the 30-plus e v e n t s for parents. Chapel services, meals, SAC movies, interest sessions, and concerts will highlight the weekend. Parents will be invited to visit the

crossovers," said Steven Dow Center with stuWard, wind symphony d e n t s and to visit Parents' Weekend events conductor. "It's just goH o p e ' s various of- begin on Nov. 8 ing to be a really fun, exfices during open citing evening. It's great music, and the jazz house hours. On the first night of Parent's Weekend, ensemble and wind symphony really enjoy working together." Friday, November 8, the wind symphony and Continuing an over 60-year-old competij a z z ensemble will p e r f o r m in Dimnent tion, the Nykerk cup competition will be held Chapel at 7 p.m. It will be a particularly on Saturday, November 9, at 8:00 p.m. It original concert because the wind symphony will be held at the Holland Civic Center with will be performing jazz pieces with Cuban free admission. Parents are invited to come influences and the jazz ensemble will be performing scores more symphonic sounding as watch their students compete for the Nykerk Cup in what promises to be a great time for well as an arrangement of a classical piece. "It's going to be a concert of what we call


There will also be a football game against Olivet that Saturday at the Holland Municipal Stadium. SAC will host Men in Black II in Winants Auditorium throughout the weekend. Also, special interest sessions will be available for parents to attend in Maas Auditorium and the Otte Room, hosted by a panel of professors. The final day of Parent's Weekend will contain another musical performance, this time by the Faculty Music Recital Series at 3 p.m. in Wichers Auditorium. To close the weekend, parents are invited to attend the Gathering with their students in Dimnent Chapel.




O c t o b e r 30, 2002

Shadow Catcher' enchants Holland Museum exhibit features fine photo images Maureen Yonovitz A R T S EDITOR

During !he early IQOO's, many people believed Native American culture was dying out. Starting with not much more than a camera and a dream, Edward Curtis set out to capture this way of life before it disappeared forever. Since October 19 and continuing through November 30, the Holland Museum, run through the Holland Historical Trust, will be featuring "Shadow Catcher: Native America T h r o u g h t h e L e n s of E d w a r d Curtis." The exhibit is somewhat different from what the museum has done in the past. "We are a l w a y s looking for shows that are culturally enriching to the Holland community," said

be gone." According to Zwart, although Curtis was trying to represent the culture, he neglected to show "what w a s really h a p p e n i n g to Native Americans at this time." On Thursday, N o v e m b e r 7 at 7 p.m., the museum will host a lecture by Native American history scholar Jose Antonio Brandao discussing this aspect of the history and culture of Native Americans. "[The lecture focuses on] what w a s really h a p p e n i n g to N a t i v e Americans at this time—the reality of the poverty, the romantic notion of the noble savage," Zwart said. " C u r t i s ' photographs d o n ' t really show that." In addition, the museum also currently has Native American artifacts on display. These artifacts, not previously available to be viewed by the public, are also part of the m u s e u m ' s mission to expand the

Joel Zwart, director of education at t h e m u s e u m . " W e a l s o try t o b r o a d e n our s c o p e . We h a v e n ' t d o n e an exhibit here b e f o r e on Northwest Native Americans." "Shadow Catcher" is an exhibition of 4 5 p h o t o g r a v u r e i m a g e s taken by p h o t o g r a p h e r E d w a r d Curtis. Photogravure is a complex process c o m b i n i n g p h o t o g r a p h y and engraving in which the negative image of a photograph is etched onto a copper plate, which is then used as a model for printing. Curtis dedicated 30 years of his life to this process of photographing as well as recording information on the Native North American lifestyle. "[Curtis] was trying to capture Native American culture (i.e. tradition, ceremonies) before they disappeared," Zwart said. " H e committed himself to doing this because there was the idea at the time that the Native Americans would soon


Noted photographer Edward Curtis depicts this Jicarilla maiden in the Holland Museum exhibit. knowledge of Native American history. The Holland Museum is located on 31 West 10th Street right across from Centennial Park. Admission to the museum is $3 for adults, $2

for students and seniors, and $7 for families. Hours are Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Thursday from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., and Sunday from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Orchestra, faculty talents make beautiful music Faculty recitals contemporary selections are fascinating deviations from the norm


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A//CHO/? P H O T O BY R O B O N D R A Richard Piippo conducts the Hope College Orchestra on Friday in Dimnent Chapel.

Orchestra's season opener is outstanding Jeremy Davis GUEST WRITER

The expectations for Friday's Hope College Orchestra Concert were high, and the full Dimnent Chapel reflected this. T h e programs were gone within the first 20 minutes of the house opening. Faculty, present and past, were in attendance. Parents smiled the proud smile that parents do. Then the lights dimmed and the performance began. The first selection of the night was the overture f r o m W a g n e r ' s "die meistersinger von Nurnberg." It was a splendor for the brass section. It is not everyday that the brass have a piece they can play out with v i b r a n c y and energy. T h e strings accompanied the brass and the woodwinds played delightful solis. Although Wagner was looking f o r a G e r m a n sound to this piece, I did not find the American

Review sound that the orchestra produced offensive or intrusive. The next piece was "English Folk S o n g Suite" b y Ralph Vaughan Williams. I would say out of all the pieces the orchestra played, this one was the hardest for them to play stylistically. Since this piece was originally written for military band, it has some notation that only works in the band setting. Of course I am a woodwind player and my ears do a double take when I hear violins playing clarinet parts. I did like the way the string bass player tried to imitate the sound of a tuba. If the string section tried to imitate the sounds that were originally conceived by the composer I think the piece would have been a greater success. Another point that hurt the original intention of Vaughan Will i a m s w a s the t e m p o of the 3 rd movement. Virtuosity in the strings was not the idea of this section. I

also think that the decision to play the waltz section in three and not one gave a weird unfamiliarity to the music. T h e contradicts the title "English Folk Song Suite." The last selection was " E n i g m a " variations by E d w a r d Elgar. The playing of the Elgar was absolutely exquisite. In the third variation the sound of the clarinets and bassoons was wonderful. In the sixth variation 1 loved the viola sound; I applaud the violas personally. Last b u t n e v e r l e a s t v a r i a t i o n 9, "Nimrod." All I am going to say is that the entire evening was leading up to this movement. Every performer and every audience member seemed to breathe and sway tog e t h e r as if s o m e c o s m i c f o r c e willed it. Bravo to the Hope College Orc h e s t r a and to R i c h a r d P i i p p o . Overall, this was a wonderful first showing for the orchestra this season. The orchestra has grown a lot in the past f e w years and hopefully this growth will continue.

The faculty recital that took place on Sunday was, f o r the most part, an introduction to 20"' century music. Featured on the program were works by Eugene Bozza, Will Gay Bottje, and Andre Previn. Ryan Janus (alto saxophone) played a delightful solo by Eugene Bozza entitled "Improvisation et caprice." It made use of both the lyrical and nimble qualities of the alto saxophone. Elizabeth La G r a n d e (mezzo-soprano) was the "oddball" on the program as she sang four songs from the standard r e p e r t o i r e by J o h a n n e s Brahms. Apart from the sonorous contribution by the vocalist, these pieces were exceptionally noteworthy for their beautiful piano accompaniment from Sheryl lott Richardson. T h e next work, composed by Will Gay Bottje, featured a duet by Mihai (violin) and Deborah (viola) Craiovenau. This piece e m p l o y e d various special e f fects such as p i z z i c a t o s , sul ponticello, and muted strings. These unique sounds coupled

What's Hangin'? H o l l a n d Swing Evergreen C o m m o n s Nov. 16, 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. $8 per person $ 15 per couple < ^ / a $5 for students

Ahn Trio Classical piano group Wed., Nov. 6 at 8 p.m. Dimnent Chapel Tickets $5

SAC Movie The Bourne Identity Nov. 1-3 Fri. and Sat. 7 p.m., 9:30p.m > midnight. Sun. 3 p.m. Winants Auditorium Free popcorm with $2 admission

with i n t r i c a t e v o i c i n g s a n d voice-crossings for a truly enjoyable experience. This perf o r m a n c e m a r k e d the public premiere of this piece. The occasion was highlighted by the presence of the composer. Last on the program were Steven Ward (bassoon) and Jennifer Wolfe (piano). They played a bassoon sonata c o m p o se d by Andre Previn that was equally demanding for both performers. The complex rhythms and motives of the first and third movements were contrasted beautif u l l y by the m i d d l e , lyrical movement that utilized the singing, melodic quality of the bassoon when in the hands of an exceptional musician. This recital, although a deviation from the "norm" was nonetheless an extraordinary display of virtuoso playing and singing. The faculty at Hope puts on a recital every month or so and it is a great opportunity for students to witness superb performances of both standard and contemporary repertoire. Check the arts page on Knowhope and the Anchor for upcoming recitals, concerts, and other musical performances.

F a c u l t y Recital Sunday, Nov. 10 at 3 p.m. Wichers Auditorium Free Admission

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m ' Wind Symphony/Jazz Ensemble I Friday, November 8 at 7 p.m. Dimnent Chapel Free Admission

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Ultimate takes fourth place at Purdue tourney Hope dominates Division I tournament, goes 5-1 on the day. John Rodstrom S P O R T S EDITOR

The Hope ultimate club showed what it was made of this past Saturday against a field of entirely Division I teams. The Flying Dutchmen overpowered several strong teams on their way to a fourth place finish overall. ' T h i s weekend we really showed our true p o t e n t i a l . But it also showed our need for more dedicated players because we could have won the tournament if we had more people," said Ken Diekema ('03), Hope co-captain. The Dutchmen were well on their way to winning to championship but simply ran out of steam in the semifinals. After taking an 8-5 lead at the half against Purdue A, the entire Hope team was exhausted, and Purdue was able to rally behind fresh players to a 15-10 victory. "We would have destroyed them if we would have had more energy," Diekema said. Hope brought only 8 men and 3

women to the tournament, despite playing against teams composed entirely of 14-16 men. "I thought it was amazing how well we did, considering the composition of our team compared to the competition. It shows that a large part of our team is more mature and experienced than other teams," Diekema said. In qualifying for the semifinals, the Dutchmen won several hardfought games against some of the strongest teams in the region. Hope defeated Purdue C 11-2, Northwestern University 11-9, Ball State University 11-8, Indiana University 11-5, and Western University 15-13. The competition provided a good foreshadowing to the spring college season. "Most teams were playing with split squads. We were also missing four or five starting players. This tournament was a good indicator of how well we're going to do next year," Diekema said. "If you look at the Purdue A game, we were more patient, smarter, and even outplayed them on defense when we were tired. Eventually, we gave out, but we took it to them and they're one of the top teams in our region."

Hope is now looking ahead toward the winter months, the only time ultimate players take a break from competition. "We won't be able to practice much because there is no gym space for us. We're going to do our best to stay in shape and rest. Hopefully w e ' l l be working out and maybe go to an indoor tournament or two, scrimmage or something like that," Diekema said. Whereas the tournament on Saturday provided the Dutchmen with a good idea of how far they could



Left: Lance Postma ('06) snags the disc out of a crowd. Above: Russell French ( 05) makes a catch midfield. go next college season, it also pointed out the current weaknesses of the team. "In general, I think that we were reminded what being a team is actually about. We were hoping to reach our full potential, but there

are more important things to some people on the team right now than reaching our full potential. We have the potential of being an awesome ultimate team, but we just aren't d e d i c a t e d e n o u g h right n o w , " Diekema said.

SOCCER from 1 have an insurmountable lead in the confer- the battle for the M1AA title, but their road is a little more challenging. ence and will head to the NCAA tournament The Dutch must win their last two games starting on November 13. Even if the Dutchmen lose, they can still against Olivet and Saint Mary's (In.), and hope that Albion loses one of their remainqualify for the tournament if Kalamazoo either loses one or ties both of their final two ing games. The Brits have three games left in their season, and winning all of them games. Despite being the favorite, the Dutchwould place them one point ahead of Hope, men aren't taking Olivet lightly. "We can't take this game for granted," ending Hope's post-season chances. "We have confidence in our ability to win said Steve Smith, Head Coach of the Flying our last two games," said Sears. "We know Dutchmen. "We stressed in practice today we can play well h o w t e r r i b l e we against Olivet, w o u l d play if we '^•™™«iiiiiiiiiiiilwiiii and we're conficame into the game dent that we can thinking it was alHope (M) Hope (W) beat Saint ready won, and this Alma (M) Alma (W) Mary's again." team knows that a The race for loss is still realistic." the w o m e n ' s Smith also title will be a added that t h e close one, but Sears feels that missing the Dutchmen have improved significantly in the past few weeks, and feels that if Hope playoffs wouldn't spoil the season. "It would be disappointing to not make defeats Olivet, they can enter the tournament the playoffs, but we'll have more chances in at full potential. "Our attitude has changed too in the secthe years to come. We have great leadership, and the players have established a lot of sucond half of the season," said Smith. "The mental and physical parts of the game are a cess," said Sears. The Dutchmen will take to the road with lot tougher, and we've entered every game knowing there was no room for error if we kickoff in Olivet at 3 p.m., while the Dutch host the Owls at 3 p.m. and Saint Mary's on wanted to win." The Flying Dutch are also in the thick of Saturday at noon.


Volleyball places second in tourney Ben DeHaan SPORTS EDITOR

For the most part, the Flying Dutch's trip to Grand Rapids for the Midwest Invitational was a success. Winning three straight matches, defeating the number one seed in the tournament and earning a spot in the tournament finals proved to be the highlights for the team. Perhaps the only part that needed any improvement was the championship match. Playing in the finals proved to be bittersweet, as Hope was de-

feated in a close match with rival Calvin 31 -29, 30-26,26-30, 30-16, effectively ending the Dutch's successful tournament run and six game winning streak. The loss marked the second time that the Lady Knights have defeated the Flying Dutch in the season. It was also a grim reminder of the final game of the MIAA tournament last year in which Calvin beat the Dutch and stole the NCAA berth. Previously in the tournament, the D u t c h beat R o s e - H u l m a n , Mt. Union, and Anderson colleges.



Hope midfielder Catie Neidlinger {'04) dribbles past an Alma defender.

Hope now carries an overall record of 15-12, and holds a league record of 7-5. They are in fourth place in the MIAA, behind Alma, Calvin and Kalamazoo as they enter the final week of league competition before the MIAA tournament. Tonight, the Dutch have a home match against Albion. Game time will start at 6:30 p.m. The Dutch will gel one more regular season chance to seek revenge on the Knights when they host Calvin in the Dow center on Saturday at 1:00 p.m.

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