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Spring forWard April +997

H o p e C o l l e g e • H o l l a n d , M i c h i g a n " A n i n d e p e n d e n t n o n p r o f i t p u b l i c a t i o n Ji S e r v i n g t h e H o p e C o l l e g e C o m m u n i t y f o r I 10 y e a r s

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Faculty and staff employees settle blocks from campus. Spotlight, page 9.

Spring elections will bring new faces STACY BOGARD

camD" Student Congress elections are fast approaching, and with them will come six new class representatives positions. The new positions will be on the ballot this April 16 and 17 along with candidates for president and vice president. The new representatives will replace the current at-large status on Congress. T h e third Cabinet position of Comptroller is an appointed position. "I think that the new class representatives will really improve things for Congress," said Ryan Cook ('97), present Student Congress president. Present Congress members hope that the new r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s will h e l p t o a l l e v i a t e the workload for Cabinet members at the beginning of the school year with elections, and necessary attendance at board and committee meetings to offer student opinion while they plan their yearly agendas. "We want to make sure that students will be able to give input from the very beginning," said

Katy Whitfield ('98), Student Congress vice mittees." president. T h o s e applying for the president and vice Petitions are now available at the Student president oositions must also be willing to take Union Desk in the on setting up StuDeWitt Center for dent Congress those wishing to policy, running run f o r the posimeetings and repre[Candidates] m u s t be willing t o tions. The president senting all students, and vice president participate, offer their opinions |according to candidates must Whitfield. and get to know their obtain 100 student T h e April 16 and signatures, and constituents. 17 vote will be run class representathrough one voting —Katy Whitfield ('98) tives must collect b o o t h t h a t will Student Congress Vice-President 25 signatures from move throughout m e m b e r s of their S P c a m p u s . Times and class. Petitions are due back to the Student locations for the booth will be announced closer Union Desk April 7. Candidates must be full- to the voting dates. A list of students on campus time students who are committed to holding a will insure proper voting procedure and prevent year-long position, Whitfield stressed. ballot box stuffing. Students will need their I.D. "They must be willing to participate, offer to vote for president, vice president and their their opinions and get to know their constitu- class representative. ents," she said. "Their first j o b is to serve their Only 327 students came out for the fall elecconstituents and then to represent them on comtions, when the roaming booth first appeared.

Smokin' Mew apartment housing process to help students. Campusbeat, page 2.

Symphonette milks East Coast tour for ail its worth. Intermission, page 4.

Play "I Spy" with Scrutinizing Scarlet as she checks out another local church. Religion, page 10.

Sports teams take to the road for Spring Break. Sports, page 12.

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• Congress re-vote places student support behind the option to smoke in dorms.

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S. BOGARD and H. HUEBNER campusbeat: editor and staff reporter

This past Monday March 31, Student Congress held a special meeting to review their recommendation for a smoking ban in residence halls. Congress re-voted 14 against a ban and 8 for, as their revised recommendation to the Campus Life Board meeting yesterday. Campus Life Board did not vote on the issue yesterday, but tabled it until the April 10 meeting. They plan to revise the proposal, and did not have time yesterday. "I d o n ' t feel that w e - c a n ban smoking on all of campus. We have to leave some places for smokers to smoke in their rooms," said Matt Fretz ('99), Congress representative. T h e issues brought up in support of and a g a i n s t the ban included health hazards, more rules for students and resident assistants to follow, and most prominently the fact that candles are no longer allowed in hall rooms, but cigarettes are still permissable. After a hasty Student Congress vote two weeks ago, the recommendation was passed 9-7 to prohibit s m o k i n g in all campus residence halls, cottages and apartments. With a notice f r o m the Residential Life Board two days prior to the Congress meeting, members were supposed to survey their constituents and turn in a decision. Residential Life brought up the issue because of a letter from a concerned parent regarding the Kollen fire on January 21, which was thought to be caused by an unattended cigarette. "The issue just slid into business when we weren't expecting it," said Katy Whitfield ('98), Congress vice president. O t h e r s m e m b e r s of C o n g r e s s agreed. "1 think the vote passed really hastily," said Krista Brewer ('99), Student Congress member. At last week's meeting on March 26, the issue was brought up that not all Student Congress members were present when the issue was

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by Z a c h J o h n s o n

.GIMME T H A T ; Hope's annual Disabilities Awareness Week kicked off on Monday, March 31, and events will continue through this Friday. Chris Klein (*97) headed in the final goal for his team to win the "Kamikaze" Wheelchair Soccer on Monday night 8-7 in sudden death overtime. The activities left this week include a presentation by Klein tonight in Cook Auditorium at 7p.m., a keynote on Thursday at 7p.m. in Cook by Lydia Graver, a disability specialist and former actress who appeared in several movies including Return of the JedL The week will be concluded on Friday with an ice cream social in the Kletz at 2 p.m.

N o r t h visit finalized f o r A p r i l 8 STACY BOGARD

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After much controversy and disc u s s i o n , the d e c i s i o n to b r i n g Oliver North to campus was approved by Student Congress on March 5. C o n g r e s s v o t e d 17 in f a v o r , three opposed and three abstaining in the re-vote at the open meeting. North will arrive on Tuesday, April 8, and stay through Wednesday, April 9. His itinerary includes a lecture Tuesday evening at 8:30 p.m. in the Knickerbocker Theatre on the topic, "Conservatism on Campus, Faith Under Fire," a dinner beforehand and closed reception following. Tickets for the lecture are now available at the S t u d e n t Union Desk in the DeWitt Center with a valid student I.D. They are free to students, and those left over will be available to the public beginning Monday, April 7. more SMOKING on 2 The vote on North's visit came

after students and faculty expressed concern over the process the Cabinet went through in selecting North, and whether it was proper to bring someone of North's background to campus using student funds. " O n e of my original goals for having him c o m e is to stimulate dialogue on campus. I think I exceeded that goal and that his presence will do a lot on campus," Cook said. The location for the lecture was

d e c i d e d o n M o n d a y , M a r c h 31. Plans were originally to hold it in Dimnent Chapel, which would seat the most people on campus, but it was booked for oratorial rehearsal for a concert two days after North's visit. The Dow Center was also unavailable due to intramurals. The Knickerbocker was the final choice because it seats 530 people. The cost of the visit is still under negotiation, but will cost no more than $9,000, according to Cook.

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L O O K ! U P AM XKUE _SKX The Hale-Bopp comet makes its 24,000 year visit through the end of May.


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C a m p u s Beat

campus briefs N e w site proposed for A r e a C e n t e r T h e coniinually-evolving Area Center plans have found yet another site to rest on. A team of architects and planners sponsored by the city recommended that they consider a f o r m e r d r e d g e - d i s p o s a l site between Sixth Street and S e v e n t h Street bordered by College Avenue and the Black River. H o l l a n d and P a r k T o w n s h i p s have already approved the General Electric property on the corner of 16th Street and U.S. 31 as the Area Center location and must be convinced to back the new plan before it goes to voters. The team focused on supporting the c o m m u n i t y ' s e f f o r t t o w a r d s

continuing to build a strong, central downtown Holland area. They considered the advantages of the approved site and also the Western Foundry site on Eighth Street and Fairbanks Avenue. "Generally w e ' r e very pleased with the new proposed site, especially with the performing arts center being closer to campus. It's exciting both for the College and for the downtown area," said William Anderson, vice president of business and finance. The buildings on the site will include an arena, ice rink, performing arts building and a 900-space parking lot.

Visiting scholars t o discuss I r a n / C o n t r a John and Janet Wallach, both nationally renowned authors and journalists, will be on campus the week of April 7, presenting and discussing the history of the Iran/Contra affair and the Middle East. Their visit is sponsored through the Woodrow Wilson Visiting Fellows program. They will make two presentations on Tuesday, April 8. The first, "5,000 Years of Middle East History," will be at 11 a.m. in Winants Auditorium and then John Wallach will present "Behind the Scenes: Iran/Contra A f f a i r " at 3 p.m. in VanderWerf Hall 102. John Wallach was nationally honored for his role in exposing the Iran/Contra

Affair. Woodrow Wilson Visiting Fell o w s b r i n g s l e a d e r s of v a r i o u s fields, including corporate executives, newspaper editors, and Cabinet level officers to small liberal arts c a m p u s e s for a week. T h e y then participate in classes, informal discussions and presentations. Their presence on campus is not connected with Oliver North's visit in any form, as their presentation was planned months in advance of the unrelated decision to bring in North. There are no formal plans for them to meet or debate with North. The process for next year's speakers has already begun.

Housing process revamped STACY BOGARD cam pus beat editor

The apartment housing selection took on a new look this year, as Student Development made efforts to make the process more fair. With the loss of two and three person apartment options housing took steps to change the process so that all students had an opportunity at o n - c a m p u s a p a r t m e n t l i v i n g based on the number of credits each group had accumulated. The process has been based on credit hours, but students were only able to apply for one type of apartment. "It is really credit-hour-oriented, and it will be tougher this year to get an a p a r t m e n t . " said D e r e k Emerson, Director of Housing and Judical Affairs. Centennial Park Apartments are no longer available for student housing, since the College did not r e n e w the lease with the L u m i r

O r g a n i z a t i o n budgets available t o n i g h t Budgets for student organizations will be issued Wednesday, April 2, following a final vote at the 8 p.m. Student Congress meeting. The seven m e m b e r Appropriations Committee spent the school year visiting organizations and reviewed budget requests for one and a half weeks before dividing the $300,000 fund among each of the student organizations. "We look at two main criteria: the number of students who could get involved in the organization, and

Everyone from factory workers to prominent business executives of Holland have documented their experiences of the last 50 years for future generations. To celebrate Holland's sesquicentennial anniversary the Joint Archives of Holland is attempting to compile 150 oral histories of area residents. Sixty-five histories have been documented since last summer and 85 more should be finished by the end of December 1997. T h e Archives are located in the basement of Van Wylen library. ' T h i s grew out of the fact that we have been doing oral histories in one form or another since 1977," said Larry Wagenaar, director of the Joint A r c h i v e s of H o l l a n d and a Hope associate professor. Oral histories have been recorded for the past 20 years on various subjects, but most focus on the periods before World War II. The sesquicen'ennial project will center on citi-

Coproration. The two -person apart- was held on one night, when students chose a living space out of ments housed 80 students. This loss will be supplemented by those still available on the blackthe 164 person C o o k R e s i d e n c e board based on the apartment size they had applied for. Hall. Those who were unsuccessful in Each of the apartment sections were d o n e separately, b e g i n n i n g applying for the first section of sixperson apartwith six-person, ments, including followed by fourBrownstone and person and then Kraker, were five-person apartI t w o u l d be m y goal given the chance ments. This made t o get every s t u d e n t to apply for the it tougher for unw h a t t h e y w a n t , b u t four or five-perderclassmen with fewer credit hours son selections if I have t o w o r k in t h e y met t h e to get into an apartlimitations. deadlines. Both ment above juniors —Derek Emerson the six and fourand seniors beDirector of Housing cause no one else person selections and Judicial Affairs have taken place, a p p l i e d for that with the five-perparticular section, son applications due last Monday, Emerson said. "Even though it is more confus- March 31. Students are informed of ing, it o f f e r s s t u d e n t s m o r e o p - their living situation for next year by phone. tions," he said. In the past years, apartment draw more HOUSING on 12

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the success of the organization in the past for accomplishing their purpose and mission," said Tyler Smith ('97), Student Congress Comptroller. Student Congress members met with campus groups to get a better understanding of how they use their allocated funds. T h e d e c i d i n g m e e t i n g will be held in the Herrick Room in the DeWitt Center at 9 p.m. As always, the meeting is open to the student body and Congress encourages students to attend.

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zens' impressions and experiences in the last 50 years. A n y o n e can n o m i n a t e s o m e o n e for consideration as part of the project. T h i s y e a r ' s p r o j e c t is s p e c i a l since its focus is the number of interviews, when usually a specific subject is chosen and people related to the subject are interviewed. T h e f o c u s will not only be on older residents. The Archives is also looking to interview college students and baby boomers. It would be interesting to interview Hope seniors who have been in the area for four years and those who have g r o w n up in H o l l a n d , Wagenaar said. "We are catching people before they leave this life," he said. Wagenaar also hopes to look at finding people who have left the area for one reason or another. He is interested in community feelings that may have been the cause of their departure. One subject focused on by those interviewed are both positive and negative feelings about Tulip Time.

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by J e s s G r e v e n s t u k

FISHY, F I S H Y IN T H E SE.IKz Members of Dykstra cluster 2-6 were able to spruce up their living space with a "under the sea" mural after a proposal for the project was granted by Richard Frost, Dean of Students. "When people walk through they notice it," said Stacy Borden ('99), the cluster R.A. "They have said that it adds character to the cluster." SMOKING from I

A r c h i v e s c o l l e c t s 150 local h i s t o r i e s SXACY BOGARD campusbeat editor

A p r i l 2, I 9 9 7

T h e y have also d i s c u s s e d the growth that Holland has experienced and the diversity the city has gained. T h e A r c h i v e s was brought together in 1988 when the College, H o l l a n d M u s e u m and W e s t e r n Theological Seminary blended their archives b e c a u s e each could not afford a professional to care for them individually. Each of the histories are recorded on audio tape in structured 4 5 to 90 m i n u t e s e s s io n s , and then transcribed to paper for easier research use by the public. The entire process takes from a couple of days to weeks to insure the accuracy of the final report. "It's first-hand information for the future," said Tracy Bednarick ('98), w h o compiled 20 histories last summer. Thirty volunteers from the com^ munity and the College are currently working on compiling the remaining histories, but more help is welcome.

voted on. The Monday night meeting was then scheduled to cast a revote after more Congress members were given warning of the vote and had time to collect opinions f r o m constituents. The issue was a priority last year

in regards to campus buildings and Congress gave their recommendation against a ban. The Campus Life Board will look at the issue on Thursday, April 10 when they are able to give the issue more consideration.

CONCERNED? Health Assessments, Diagnosis, Treatment Nurse/Physician Clinics Sexuality Counseling Referral to O f f - C a m p u s Treatment Foreign Travel Innoculations

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Call x7585 Hope College Health Clinic (All Services and records are confidential) The Health Clinic is open mornings 8:30-NOON and 1:00-4:30. Please call for an appointment


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A p r i l 2. I 997

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Condom distributing

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Dear Editor,

Alumnus disapproves of North's visit of those funds are support for the political agenda and enrichment of Mr. North's ambitions. But it goes far beyond the remuneration necessary in an academic environment for speakers. It is the responsibility of the leaders of the .college to provide balance and objectivity when such visits take place. It is incumbent upon Student Congress, faculty and administrators to provide a similar forum for the opposition to respond to such a controversial figure with the same remuneration. My means are modest. My contributions to the alumni fund are very small. But my support will be withdrawn from Hope until it establishes clear guidelines that provide c h e c k s and b a l a n c e s so that the community is exposed to divergent views on an issue or controversial person and does not unwittingly line the pockets of speakers who are divisive in intent and exclusionary in practice.

Dear Editor, It is with great c o n c e r n as an alumnus that I have read about the p r o p o s e d c o n t r o v e r s i a l visit of Oliver North to Hope's campus. I am not i n t e r e s t e d in c e n s o r i n g ideas, thoughts or political ideology. An orthodox Liberal Arts education that Hope provides equips one with the necessary tools and abilities to be discerning and discriminating in reviewing many ethical dilemmas. Personally, I find Oliver North's ethical behavior and morality abhorrent u n d e r the P r e s i d e n c y of Ronald Reagan and still abhorrent today. A serious q u e s t i o n is f u n d i n g such activity through the co-mingling of funds f r o m the President's office, student and individual alumni. I realize $10,000 may not seem a high fee in today's cult of personality speakers. What is the President's office doing in sponsoring this kind of e v e n t ? W h y are alumni able to, through the power of their contributing money, influence the choices of speakers? M o s t

Rich " B l u e " W i l l i a m s ('75)

of biblical studies, theology and ethics, church history and world religions." [emphasis added.] In addition, one of the sic objectives f o r the new requirement in religious studies is that "students will acquire an understanding of and appreciation for religious trad i t i o n s o t h e r than C h r is tia n ity . " [emphasis added.] Do I think all of us should learn about religions other than Christianity? You bet! And the new general education requirements support that belief as well.

Dear Editor, I've been puzzled by what I ' v e been reading and hearing about new general education requirement in religion. Many seem to believe that courses in non-Christian religions will no longer count towards this requirement in the new core. This is not the case. Here's the catalog description for the new Religion 100 courses; " T h e course is designed to introduce students to the content and methods in the study of religion. A variety of topics will be available each semester, varying by instructor. Topics range across the fields

M a u r a M. Reynolds D i r e c t o r of A c a d e m i c A d v i s i n g

m e e t the press

Jodi McFarland Ann Neucks Stacy Bogard Amy Strassburger Kim Powell Melissa Herwaldt Glyn Williams Amy-Lynn Halverson Josh Neucks Zach Johnson copy editors Matt Sterenberg Jeff Crouch business mgn/ad rep Michelle Piel page designers Dave Schrier Jessica McCombs ad designer Jeremy Monty staff cartoonists Tammy Bouwens Ashley Singer faculty advisor Tim Boudreau editor-in-chief operation manager campusbeat editor spotlight editor religion editor intermission editor sports editor production editor photo editors

staff reporters Dan Cwik • Heidi Huebner • Chris Dombrowski • David Gabrielse Ryan Pazdur • Noelle Wood • Mike Zuidema

staff photographers Jess Grevensluk

I was saddened to read the story in a recent issue of the Anchor about Craig Tommola. Mr. Tommola, I understand, has a box of 1000 neon condoms, from which he already gave 120 or so of the latex devices away. The condoms are well advertised from his window on the third floor of Kollen Hall. Frankly, I believe that there are some major fallacies to T o m m o l a ' s p h i l o s o p h y t h a t " s a f e s e x " via condom usage is an acceptable way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. For one thing, the flimsy latex objects are not foolproof. Dr. James Dobson, a prominent psychologist and author, stated in his new book Life on the Edge that one in five Americans is infected with an incurable sexually transmitted virus. W h i l e s o m e p e o p l e d o not u s e condoms, many people do; it is obvious that condoms do not always deliver! For example, a study conducted at the U. of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston showed that

• Matthew Scholtens

The Anchor is a product of student effort and is funded through the Hope College Student Congress Appropriations Committee. Letters to the editor ore encouraged, though due to space limitations the Anchor reserves the right to edit. The opinions addressed in the editorial are solely those of the editor-in-chief. Stories from the Hope College News Service are a product of the Public Relations Office. One-year subscriptions to the Anchor are available for $11. We reserve the right to accept or reject any advertising.

Vol. I 10. I s s u e 2 0

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student should talk abstinence condoms fail 31 percent of the time in preventing the transmission of HIV. T h e argument of many people is "Since I ' m going to have sex, I might as well be as s a f e as possible." This, however, is illogical. You don't have to have sex; not everybody is doing it. As Dr. Dobson so ably puts it, "Imagine picking up a gun having 100 chambers and 31 bullets. Would you put it to your head and pull the trigger? I certainly hope not." I believe that we students must choose the best option, not just the decent one. In addition to the obvious danger that the use of condoms present in regard to diseases, another major fallacy exists. In my high school, some of us wore buttons one day which read, "condoms don't protect a broken heart." There is great truth in that statement. Casual sex, and also sex that occurs in steady relationships, hurts people. Very often a couple will engage in p r e m a r i t a l i n t e r c o u r s e f o r a while, until eventually one party will dump the other and start sleeping with someone else. This leaves

people feeling wounded and used, whether or not a condom is used. I ' m sure that many of you can relate. Personally, I would like to k n o w w h a t t h e f a i l u r e r a t e of condoms is in relation to preventing broken hearts. I can bet it is far higher than 31 percent! So what exactly am I getting at? I think that abstinence until marriage and then lifetime fidelity is the only truly safe sex. Anything else is foolhardy, risky, and stupid. Abstinence never fails at preventing p r e g n a n c y , d i s e a s e , or b r o k e n hearts. When God commanded us to stay pure until marriage, it was for a purpose. I realize that it is not easy to abstain in this day and age, but God also tells us through the Apostle Paul that "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens m e " (Philippians 4:13). In regard to condoms, there is a better way. If Mr. Tommola really wants to make a difference, he should circulate f r e e "true love will w a i t " cards. D a v i d S c h o u t ('00)

Hope doesn't deliver diversity, former student says Dear Editor,

Diverse classes are core-friendly

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Opinion

I would like to take a moment to applaud Andrew VanEden for his letter in the Anchor's Feb. 19 issue about the need for cultural diversity. He addressed an important issue! I attended Hope College for two and a half years before transfering to the University of Southern Maine in 1995. T h e c h a n g e f r o m a small, conservative colege in the Midwest to a liberal, larger school on the east c o a s t as q u i t e an a d j u s t m e n t . Though in some ways I value my two and a half years of education at Hope, in more ways I find the college disappointing. It is a shelter of ignorance. In relation to Andrew's letter, I will c o m m e n t on just the cultural ignorance. I have found much pleasure in attending cultural events at the University of Southern Maine. T h e appreciation U S M students and fac-

Parking, ticketing Dear Editor, I felt the need to express my feelings on the issue of automobile tickets that are given by Hope College. I am a freshman here at Hope. As many of you know, the freshmen have lots to park in that are quite far away. This is not a complaint, it becomes a factor w h e n I a m expected to find time each day to go and check if I have received a ticket for any number of reasons each day. I hardly ever use my car on weekdays, which is why I don't know throughout the week if for some reason I h a v e received a ticket. Therefore, on the weekends when I am packing my car I find multiple tickets on my windshield for the same offense. The question I would like to address is why would I leave my automobile parked in the same space throughout the week if I was ticketed for parking there? Obviously, most p e o p l e would move their cars if they were aware of their offense. The frustration I feel is that instead of receiving one ticket for an offense that I am unaware of, I receive one each day. These accu-

ulty have for the different cultures represented on campus is growing. At H o p e I f o u n d n o n e of this. T h o u g h the student population is primarily white upperclass, the college should at least have culturally diverse events. At this point I think it is useless to investigate where the blame lies for this lack of cultural diversity. It may be useless because it is obvious, but whatever the reason, the responsibility should now begin with the student body. Dean Frost (and others) need to be reminded of their roles on campusand of the student's needs. Wouldn't it be nice to see Student Development focus on developing instead of punishing? Recently I attended a Christian church service in New York City. T h e pastor led us in this prayer, "...we ask your forgiveness for our ethno-centrism, our elitist attitudism and our fears of those

continue to frustrate mulate and instead of paying ten dollars for an offense, I end up paying forty. Another issue I feel needs to be raised is being able to actually find a spot to park. It may not be as much of a factor now that the s n o w is melting, but the snow removal areas in parking lots have greatly decreased the number of available, or should I say "designated" spots to park in. I went to run an errand on a weeknight and had to drive around for twenty minutes to try and find a spot. This seems like a ridiculous waste of time to me. I paid forty dollars for a parking permit at the beginning of this year, wouldn't it seem like if we are paying for a spot to park that a spot should be accessible to us whenever we need one? I also feel that the system of appealing tickets is i n a d e q u a t e . A c o u p l e of w e e k s a f t e r you h a v e filled out your appeal you receive a one sentence letter that dryly tells you that your appeal has been denied. No explanations, that's just the way it is. When I tried to find out the reasoning for the ticket I received, I was told that the ticket

who are not like ourselves." It app e a r s t o m e that H o p e C o l l e g e needs to say this prayer. The money and beautiful buildings need to be used f o r r e a c h i n g out instead of sheltering. Why not hold an Africa D r u m and D a n c e c o n c e r t in the Chapel to praise G o d for his diverse creations? Isn't that what Christianity is all about...unconditional love? For those of you who are trapped in the shelters of H o p e College, adminstrators included, I beg you to escape and bring the true word to H o p e College. More leaders like Boyd Wilson are needed. W h o k n o w s ? M a y b e w h e n graduation falls upon you, you will find that your liberal arts education didn't teach you much about G o d ' s people and the art of them after all. S a r a Boyd

frosh driver appeal board receives so many appeals throughout the semester that they don't have time to give us a reason for why we received the tickets. W h e n I thought about this, it made m e feel that if they don't have time to supply us with reasoning Tor unfair tickets because of the amount of cases they have to deal with, then obviously there are far too many unfair tickets being issued. From all of this I conclude that much of my time has been wasted because of this inadequate system. Doesn't Hope College receive enough money from us each year? Do they really have to have more m o n e y f r o m these u n f a i r tickets being issued every day? I already p a i d to h a v e a s p o t to p a r k in throughout the year, so why am I continually paying more? We, as students, do not a l w a y s have an extra ten, twenty, or thirty dollars more to pay these unfair parking tickets issued by Hope College. Can something be done about these situations? Kelly Klein ('00)


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Intermission

A p r i l 2, I 9 9 7

Seniors suffer in p r e p a r a t i o n for a r t show M. HERWALDX intermission editor

DePree A n Gallery had become the building that never slept. At all hours of the night, the lights in its various art studios blazed out against the train tracks. In the sculpture studio, piles of scrap metal had taken on shape and form. Larger than life images greeted the eye: a cage of thick sticks, a three-footlong beehive. In the painting studio, paintings rested in various nooks and crannies. The space outside the side door is still so littered with cigarettes one can barely see the ground. Preparation for "Eleven," this year's senior art show, had reached its final hours. Opening this Friday with a reception from 7 to 9 p.m., the deadline for these ten senior art majors to submit work was Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Since Spring Break, they had lived by their art, giving it 18 hours a day, sacrificing their vacations and their sleep to complete unfinished orunstarted projects. Midnight runs to Meijer for coffee and 2 a.m. runs to Big Rapids for fifty feet of hemp rope were the norm. A few precious hours of rest caught on the senior studio couch were the exception. Such was the life for many of these ten: Rebecca Flory, Matt Tailford, Jeff Brown, Nathan Greenwood, Becky Denison, Laurie Beth Keisling, Lami (Brian Grant), Brian Wolthuis, Jacob Roesch, and Amy Allison. ' T h e images on the flyer for 'Eleven' are a set of dice and a speed limit sign that reads '11 m p h , ' " Lami (Brian Grant) said. "What are the chances that there would be such a speed limit? What are the chances a set of dice would roll an eleven? What are the chances that ten extremely different people with all their different art would end

up in the same art show?" Prior to the deadline. Grant and fellow sculptor Matt Tailford discussed the nature of their art, and its changes and influences throughout their time as art majors at Hope. "Participating in theater here has had a m a j o r impact on my work," Tailford said, "on the metaphor contained in my pieces, on the emotional concept behind them. I realized that creativity was a major outlet for my emotion, whereas Lami is very visceral. He works from his gut." "It's difficult," Grant said. "My sculpture attempts to imply motion, although the piece is not able to move by itself. That tension is built upon." Heidi Van Wieren, a H o p e alumni and former art major, sees uncommon strength in this year's show. "The work metamorphasizes," she said. "Lami is definitely visceral. He can create under guidelines, but has an innate sense for form. Matt creates along conceptual lines, but is very minimal. Rebecca Flory is meditative and organic. In all of the artists in the show, there is powerful metaphor. With this group of artists, there is a strength I haven't seen before." A strength that, for better or worse, seems to have be founded in the principles of the art department. "One criticism I have of the art department is that they do not require of you a foundation of design principles," Grant said, "although the positive thing is definitely the freedom and encouragement you are given." Van Wieren agreed. "You are allowed more artistic license," she said. "You can do crazy things with concentration. Which I think is u n i q u e to H o p e and a p h e n o m enon."

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The nature of a liberal arts education, Grant said, has influenced each of the art students at Hope, as has Holland's isolation and small size. "There's a little bit of all the disciplines in everybody here," he said. "Some come at sculpture with an eye for physics, some come with an eye for design. And by studying art in a small town, we are forced to be more creative. Later we'll discover a piece in a sculpture magazine and realize with surprise that other people are doing some of the s a m e t h i n g s we t h o u g h t w e r e unique." T h e c o n s e r v a t i v e nature of Holland, Grant and Tailford said, forces artists to apply themselves in a similiarly positive way. "Because this is a conservative college, the student artists here don't really get caught up in shock value," Grant said.

S y m p h o n e t t e plays t h e East C o a s t M. HERWALDX intermission editor

The exotic overtones of the Hope College Symphonette's previous spring break tours to New Zealand and Australia were replaced this y e a r by s o m e t h i n g stranger. East coast America. The30-strong Symphonette, a more compact version of The Hope Orchestra, tore up the roads in their tour bus, covering Columbus, Ohio, New York City, Washington D.C., and Richmond, Virginia, among other places over spring break. According to senior violinist Chad Gifford, life on the road provided many a bizarre tale. The student members of The S y m p h o n e t t e p l a y e d o f t e n at churches and once at a junior high school and a nursing home.

They were housed at alumni and church members' homes along the way. One such bizarre tale happened in Richmond, Virginia. "I stayed in Richmond with a sheriff who had become a professional clown," Gifford said. "1 slept in a room with his wigs. Everything was fine until his wife mentioned Robert E. Lee. I said, jokingly, 'who's that?'And she pulled me out of my chair. 'Take your hat off and put your hand over your heart when you say that name,' she told me." Gifford's favorite performance was at a nursing home in Whiting. New Jersey. "It was in the afternoon instead of the evening, and the largest concert we played," he said of the appreciate elderly crowd. H i s f a v o r i t e p i e c e in t h e Symphonette repetoir?

SYMPHONETTE HOME CONCERT S u n d a y April 6 Second R e f o r m e d C h u r c h Zealand

4 p.m.

pUoXo by Z a c h J o h n s o n

FILING D O W N T H E Z}ELfÂąl5\-\WE.iSenior art major Matt Tailford spent many sleepless nights in DePree Art Gallery, finishing his sculptures for the senior art show this Friday.

"Mendelssohn's 'Italian Symphony No. 4," Gifford said. "All the other pieces we played are light chamber music, and shorter. The Mendelssohn piece is a long drawnout symphony, which I like to play better." In Clymer, New York, Gifford found himself shoveling manure out of a bam and milking cows from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. "I wanted to milk a cow, but it turned into a four hour job," he said. "But in return I was given a care package full of maple sweet rolls. In the town of Clymer all the sugar maples have been tapped, and all the citizens get a ration of maple sugar." Looking back on the spring break symphonette tour, Gifford said, he was happy to say that, "Pretty much no one got sick and no one died."

Tailford agreed. "It forces you to really think about your work. To go beyond just what you think will shock people. There's not a very strong emphasis on shock. We get over it quick, and don't waste our time with it." For art novices who attend this year's senior art show, these sculptors suggest attention to detail, and an open mind. "Even if people don't understand the pieces at all, they will find themselves engaged in something about the work - whether it be technique, content, color or even smell," Grant said. "One of the pieces I ' m putting in the show uses beeswax, a smell you are very aware of. Van Gogh used to go to museums and sit in front of a painting for hours, for days. I'd like people to take some time with each piece, not to run through the damn thing and then leave."

ELEVEN senior art exhibit

Although accessible, Tailford said, the art show is diverse and complex. "'Eleven' is certainly not full of Norman Rockwell paintings," he said. "But none of us make our art to keep and look at. We want it out there, in the public." A good artist, Grant said, conn e c t s with the p u b l i c . A good viewer, he said, attempts to make a connection with the art. "You can walk through a crowd and never stop and talk to anybody, or you can stop and introduce yourself," he said. "It's the same with paintings and sculpture. Stop, and begin a dialogue about the piece. Introduce yourself." The show will be on display in the DePree Art Gallery. The opening reception for "Eleven" is this Friday, April 4. from 7-9 p.m. The show will continue through May 4.

april 4 - m a y 4

o p e n i n g reception Friday a p r i l 4tli 7-9 p.m. Depree Art Gallery bring a t-shirt tn he silk-scrccucd with ELEVEN logo

THE RETURN

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April Fools...

^Ranchor

more MOOD INDICATOR on e'

A p r i l 1997

S c o p e C o l l e g e • H o l l a n d , M i c h i g a n • A f a k e n o n p r o f i t p u b l i c a t i o n f o r l a u g h s • S e r v i n g t h e P o p e C o l l e g e C o m m u n i t y f o r I 10 y e a r s

check it out.

12 Days of Women's Week. Features, page

N0.

Student plants bomb through the Internet access in Colon. International Affairs, page a.

Student loses head t o phrisbee JACK GORDON staff precious

Spring has sprung as noted by the plethora of flying saucers abounding the Wine Grove on Pope's campus. This season of re-birth opened on a sad note when Joe Cosmic ('99) of the G i z m o fraternity w a s decapitated last T h u r s d a y in a phreak phrisbee phenomenon. The warm, sunny afternoon took on a somber note, as members of the fraternity held a vigil for Cosmic on the tee of the ninth hole, near the site of his death. Cosmic had been walking the path between Braves Hall and the Dimnutt Chapel following his advanced astrophysics class when he was hit. T h e students playing the hole said they shouted a warning, but Cosmic never saw it coming. " H e never even ducked or turned around, man," said Biff Anderson ('98), an experienced phrisbee golfer at the scene. "It's a sad day in the world of Sports. A sad day." C a m p u s Cops arrived on scene to question the golfers and witnesses. They also warned students of the dangers the Spring season brings, especially on warm, sunny days, when phrisbee golfers are out in phorce. "Students must be aware of their surroundi n g s at all t i m e s , especially w h e n walking through the Wine Grove," said Renta Kopper, a Campus C o p official. N e w rules have been proposed to c a m p u s higher-uppers in regards to phrisbee safely. T h e y i n c l u d e a f u l l d e s c r i p t i o n and w a l k through of the course during freshman orientation, padded phrisbees and megaphones on the course to shout warnings, and helmets for wearing while walking through the Wine Grove. "We hope to prevent this tragedy f r o m ever

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happening again," said Pope President John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt. "I am still mourning over the young m a n ' s death. Where am I? " Members of the Gizmo fraternity are planning a memorial service for Cosmic that will travel through the course that he so dearly loved and gave his life for. Each fraternity member will dedicate a handmade phrisbee to Cosmic after the game, followed by a brunch in Felps before the final farewell by canoe on the Buck River.

"We want to express to everyone how cool Joe was and how excellent he was at the game," said Chris Schmoo ('97), Gizmo president. T h e fraternity also hopes to erect a statue on the importance of phrisbee golf to the campus and to memorialize Cosmic. The phat phrisbee golf course has been roped off pending the decision of its fate coming down from above. The meeting will be held this Friday at 6 a.m. The public is welcome.

Klutz hours flexible CHERRY FLIPP staff reporter

Easter bunny continues to visit Dope students. Campus, page a0.

In a surprise announcement today, the Klutz, Elope College's premier dining establishment, will extend its already predictable and useful hours of operation f r o m one hour on Sundays to three. The Klutz, which is the Flemish word for condensation, has been serving the college community dutifully for the past decade, serving high quality meals cooked in olestra for lunches and dinners. Anchor photo by M a m a Yahtzee "We knew it was time we exT H E R E ' S O M E : Pope Collegegroundskeepers don tended those Sunday hours so we protective gear to block out harmful squirrel calls this week. could serve students better," said Mesmeriza, Klutz employee. Hungry students are thankful for the additional eating time. Previcampus officials recorded 20 squir- ously, the Klutz had been open from I.P. FREELY rel attacks in a one-week period. 7 to 8 p.m. on Sunday nights. It will staff guru Two weeks ago these squirrels now be open at 5 until 8 p.m. When began to mysteriously disappear. asked why the Klutz isn't open earFor students eating at Felps, the A c c o r d i n g to H e a d of C a m p u s recent increase in meat servings lier in the day Sunday, employees safety Wayne Tripster, they were said students are too involved in was a pleasant surprise, until it was "thrilled" that the squirrels had de- their studies to take time out for revealed last Friday that the source cided to start trouble elsewhere. of the meat products was squirrels. food consumption during the after"I didn't think anything of the noon. It all b e g a n w i t h t h e w a r m squirrels disappearing," Tripster weather bringing mass amounts of " I ' m just so glad that they'll be said. "1 thought they had gotten open longer," said student O v a h s q u i r r e l s b a c k to c a m p u s . T h e more felps phood on X Eater. " N o w I can buy edibles insquirels b e c a m e a problem after

Mystery meat i m p o r t e d

New Klutz hours help student's food addiction. Shampus, this page.

Nature, page n.

stead of wasting my cash on playing Galactica." The only catch to the extended hours is that the Klutz will serve only their newest addition to the s a n d w i c h m e n u , the F l a m i n g o Fajita. T h e sandwich, which can better be described as a pita of lefto v e r s d i s g u i s e d by p r o c e s s e d c h e e s e , s a t i s f i e s all of the f o o d groups with the exception of the Butterfinger group. " D o n ' t lay a fingah on my Flam i n g o F a j i t a , " said student Barf Sampson. " T h e Klutz rules!" On a related note. Klutz employees were recently awarded the prestigious Service with a Smirk award for smilingly serving up milkshakes upon request. The process of making shakes and malts, which is more involved than the Klutz's traditional reheat-n-serve and drown-it-in-hotoil fare, isn't always convenient for the harried employee, the award ack n o w l e d g e s . For this reason the establishment's cheery milkshakedishing disposition has been lauded as superior to that of similar institutions. T h e Klutz beat out the eating establishments of nearby Bland Valley State University and Alvin College.

Disturbance in phorce leads basketball star to N B A draft XACO PHIL staph infection

Mysterious tree disappearance in Wine Grove,

by M a m a Yahtzee

FORE!: Joe Cosmic's ('99) tragic death was captured on film as students enjoyed one of the first warm and sunny days of spring. The incident is still under investigation as the student body mourns the loss of Cosmic and phrisbee golf privileges.

During a shocking and highly emotional press conference yesterday, star basketball player Chachi Yastremskiosko announced that he will g i v e up his fourth year of Slope College basketball and make himself eligible for the NBA draft. The 5'3", 203 pound point guard cited family reasons for his decision, which has been heralded by many as essentially the right thing for Yastremskiosko to do. "I, uh, decided to, uh, leave this, uh, bad place, and enter the great

unknown that is, uh, professional basketball," he said, fighting back his tears. "I am good and I want to be good and so this is a good thing that I am doing. W h o ' s good? Well, I ' m good, and other pros are good and so I, uh, I figured I belong where people are good, you know?" The family reasons he cited were that his mother was alive and well and that his sister needs a new bicycle to ride to school. "I need a new bike," his sister Nadia said. " S o he is going to give it to me. Uh, I am happy and not sad, I think. I don't really know

anything, just like my brother." It was a touching moment, apparently, as the entire press corps broke into tears at that point. Yastremskiosko also cited a conversation with God as turning him toward the promised land. "I feel a great disturbance in the force and that is God telling me to go pro," he said yesterday. "1 was talking to God as I do every Tuesday while watching Chips and he said, 'Ponch,' I think that's his nickname for me, 4 You need to go ahead up the highway to check things out. He disguised his voice to sound like John on the show, but I knew bet-

ter. Yastremskiosko, despite being considered by some as short and stocky, put up exceptional numbers last season for the Skiing Policemen, on his way to being rewarded as the league's best seventh man with the Mess Kettles Award. The a w a r d is g i v e n a n n u a l l y to the player who really isn't all that good but draws a tremendous amount of fan approval regardless. " T h e Mess Kettles Award was part of the reason I decide to leave this bad, bad place," Yastremskiosko said. "I mean I figmore wanna-be on 6


//uRanchor

Feetu res

A p r i l 2. I 9 9 7

The 'Twelve Days of Women's week Sung to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' Ch ihe first day of women's week my Woman gave to me breakfast served in bed. Q \ the second day of women's week my Old Lady gave to me two self defense lessons in Karate and breakfast served in bed. Q \ the third day of w o m e n ' s week my Ball and Chain gave to me three safety whistles, two self defense lessons, and breakfast served in bed. 0 \ the fourth day of women's week my Honey gave to me four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense lessons and breakfast served in bed. Q i the fifth day of w o m e n ' s week my Chica gave to me 5 burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense lessons and breakfast served in bed. Ch the sixth day of w o m e n ' s week my Main Squeeze gave to me six T-shirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self

d e f e n s e l e s s o n s and b r e a k f a s t served in bed. C h the seventh day of women's week my Chick gave to me seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six T-Shirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense lessons, and breakfast served in bed. C h the eighth day of women week my Old Maid gave to me eight satin tights, seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six T-Shirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense classes, and breakfast served in bed. Q \ the ninth day of w o m e n ' s week my Lover gave to me nine hoopty vans, eight satin tights, seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six Tshirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense classes, and breakfast served in bed. 0 \ the tenth day of w o m e n ' s week my Dame gave to me ten cal-

cium supplements, nine hoopty vans, eight satin tights, seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six T-shirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense classes, and breakfast served in bed. Q i the eleventh day of women's week my Broad gave to me eleven bars of Bath and Body Shop soap, ten c a l c i u m s u p p l e m e n t s , nine hoopty vans, eight satin tights, seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six Tshirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense classes, and breakfast served in bed. Q i the twelfth day of women's week my Little Lady gave to me twelve sensitive men, eleven bars of bath and body shop soap, ten calcium supplements, nine hoopty vans, eight satin tights, seven Ani DiFranco C.D.'s, six T-shirts on a clothesline, five burning bras, four cans of pepper spray, three safety whistles, two self defense classes, and breakfast served in bed.

T O P T E N REASONS TO G O HERE 10. Your parents are alumni. 9. You love Ollie North ... you always have, even through that whole scandal thing. 8. Blondes just wanna have fun! 7. You can tell time by the train whistles, or sometimes the Chapel chimes. 6. Smokers are always welcome in the dorms. 5. That Klutz Sandwich (it's coming!) 4. Felps' steak nights. 3. To you, the sounds of construction are a sweet lullaby. 2. Two degrees for the price of one — earn your M.R.S. in only four years. 1. Two words: Core Curriculum.

Horrorscopes Aries (March 21-April 19)—Go for a ride today. An excursion in a Dodge might do you some good. Don't horn in on anyone today-nobody cares, so be quiet. Taurus (April 20 -May 20)—There's a lot of you, and strength is in numbers. Get a posse together and do something. Don't take any bull today, you're looking cute. Buy a cat and give it to that weird old lady on the corner. Gemini (May 21-June 21)—You are livin' large and looking phat. The world is between your thumb and forefinger, so squeeze. The only thing that could be better is being an Aquarius. Cancer (June 22-July 22)—Beware of frisbees and tacos. Neither agree with you. You're a nowhere man looking for a Norwegian Wood being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. It's a day in the life and baby you're a rich man.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) See Cancer.

Virgo (Aug23-Sept. 22)—The stars are in formation and they say . . .wimp! Assert yourself. It's a brave new world.

N e w Klutz Service

T h e Klutz is now offering

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)—You're feeling kicky today and need to get out and do something. G o to Boston Carvers and have a turkey sandwich. Beware of children, you feel the need to punt one. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21)—The negative vibes are flowing from you like strawberry jam. You move like a sloth and your butt is growing spuds. You should try and do something about that.

Free 24-hour delivery t o all campus residences S t a r t i n g Wednesday, M a r c h 30, look for your neighborly Klutz d e l i v e r y m a n walking t h r o u g h your halls

Sagitarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)—Hey sharp shooter, you're looking saucy and feel like you can do anything. So put on your satin tights and fight for your rights. Unicorns (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)—It seems like its just another ho-hum day. But it isn't! The guy of your dreams is just around the comer and is waiting for his little princess. The color of day is plaid and your lucky number is 2 (for love). Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)—Hey, you're an Aquarius so it doesn't really matter, because life is good and you were bom. Go and help someone today. Not everyone can be as great as you, so share the wealth. Do a crossword puzzle. Pisces (Feb. I9-March 20)—That's for me to know and you to find out.


the Ranchor

A p r i l 2. I 9 9 7

P#3LL

Idiotorial Those who are part of extracurricular organizations here at Dope College know that student office space is at a premium. WIMP, the campus radio station, has had to begin storing its CD collection over the Klutz grill to make room for Dopus, the college's literary magazine. The Caucasion Student Organization (CSO) is fighting over computers for table-tent-making with the college's yearbook, the Millstone. Knickers, the fall women's talent extravaganza, is planning to hold auditions in the laps of Student Useless. Geek Life is stealing the T-shirts off the backs of the Pushers, and the political organizations the Free Soilers and Libertarians are filibustering. The Men's Issues Organization (MIO) has to share meeting space with SUC, the Student Undertakers Committee. This lunacy must stop. These organizations with their contrary missions must have their own space to breathe, before SUC has lots of work to do. In order to make room for the much-needed student offices building, we at the Ranchor propose that the Wine Grove be clear cut of all vegetation. This razing would accomplish multiple objectives. First, it would drastically cut the rampant squirrel population, hopefully eliminating the creepy and mysterious yellow-tailed black squirrels; and second, it would end the conflict between frisbee-golfers and pedestrians. Professors would no longer feel guilty for denying the Let's-have-class-outside requests on sunny days, because there would be no place to go. It is a travesty that students, who are the lifeblood of this institution,, are tripping over each other, while a few guitar-picking soul searchers spread out and make their music on the Wine Grove lawn. Cut down those ancient pines and make an office for EIO, the Environment Is Ours, group. A

m e e t the press Seymour Butts Oliver Clothesoff Al Coholic Amanda Hugandkiss LP. Freely Ivanna Tinkle Hu Flung Poo Ineeda Date Titus Pants Ida Barft copycats Ben Dover Amanda Lynn b e e s w a x m a n a g e r Peter Pants page designers Summer Sausage Christa Shanda Leer

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The Ranchor is a joke. It is an annual tradition in honor of April Fool's Day. If you think this is real, you are mistaken.

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pseudo Presence of cockroaches doesn't bug officials D e a r Editor, Embracing people's differences and expanding multiculturalism at Hope seems to have been a hot topic for some time now. 1 think it's time that I added my two cents. Let me warn you, however, that I am not your typical Hope student. I live on campus and don't even pay a dime's worth of board! I must admit that it does get a bit lonely at times, living here in the basement. Our cottage is Greek and the ground floor's huge, but I stay mostly in the laundry room. I have a sneaking suspicion the other girls don't like me. Once I was just sort of hanging out on the floor with some socks, minding my own business, and one of the girls came in

Elvis impersonators Dear Editor, Although Graceland is hundreds of miles away from Hope College, the memory of Elvis has shimmied its hips into my normally decorously conducted physics class. Neither ghost nor phantom, my classmates and I are constantly disrupted and frightened when "that feeling" comes over our professor, Professor Kryptonite. The good professor will be about halfway through his lecture, when suddenly he will begin to "swang" his hips around the podium, losing it all to the groove, and fluffing his fingers through his dark, greasy hair until it curiously resembles the spire of a chapel in Las Vegas. Soon he be-

Clown stereotyping Dear Editor, I have been living with this anger built up inside me for years and now I must express myself openly on paper in the only form I know. I am a clown. I am proud to be a clown and to wear everything from my big floppy red shoes to my frilly green hair. Clowning is my life and 1 have nary a complaint about the choice I have made for myself. However, I feel that I and my fellow clowns have been given a bum rap. If we are not portrayed as bumbling idiots we are characterized as either drunk perverts or calculating murderers. Well, I say enough is enough! Persecute the clowns no more! I have been a professional clown for more than twenty years and not once have I had too much to drink. I know when to say when. I have

and screamed. She dropped her liquid Tide and pounded up the stairs. You can imagine how this made me feel! But it's really kind of funny, because no matter what those girls do, they can't get anyone in H o p e ' s administration to kick me out. I've heard them on the phone, talking about this. They think there are more of me around the house. They were told to catch me in a butter dish and bring me somewhere so someone can see that I really exist. The girls say no way. Maybe the administration doesn't believe that someone like me could be living in Hope housing. So 1 suppose I'll just hang out d o w n in t h e l a u n d r y r o o m for awhile. When someone turns on the

light, I just scurry under a sock or into one of the old shower stalls that are in here (no one really uses them. I d o n ' t think the administration cares about those gross shower stalls, either.) I'd love to head up to the kitchen sometimes for a snack, but people are always up there, baking or whatever. I just wanted to m a k e myself known as another victim of discrimination here at Hope, but 1 also want to commend Hope's powersthat-be for allowing me to live in this community, despite those girls' efforts to kick me out. I (and all of my friends and family) think this school is moving in the right direction. Betty C r o c k e r o a c h

impeded learning process gins a rich alto howl, belting out something about the jailhouse. If Professor Kryptonite cannot contain his fervor, his wild passionate impersonations, then you bet your banana-and-peanut-butter sandwich the jailhouse is exactly where he belongs. I have tried going to the top, and made an appointment with President W a k e U p T h e n . When I described the problem, the president simply broke into a rendition of 44 Love M e Tender," becoming so emotional that I left him weeping over his desk clutching a picture of a girl in bobbysox. I have insisted, and will keep insisting, that this problem must be remedied. Too many Sigmas in my

class h a v e been swooning. Too many boys walk around chanting, " P r i s c i l l a , can I b o r r o w y o u r eyeliner?" If Professor Kryptonite is going to conduct himself "pre-American Bandstand," I would prefer he acted like aging f o r m e r rock star Pat Boone. Mr. Boone was clean-cut, solemn, and free from the groove, like our student council members. He sang "Sixteen Candles," a fine, honorable ballad that was about as passionate as a houseplant. His persona would be a fine addition to physics class. Nick Snickedy

alienates career clown never had fifteen beers at a fraternity party. If anybody says that I have, then they are lying to you, the American public. Alcohol is sinful and I stay away from the stuff, for the most part. I have never gone home from a party with a woman on my arm because taking advantage of drunken underclassmen is not the right thing to do. I swear the rumors people have scattered about me are bunk. I especially didn't pick one up from the basketball house the weekend prior to Thanksgiving last year. That was a different guy of my similar build, hairstyle, and shoe size. Plus, there is this fear that some kids seem to have about clowns being truly violent people that terrorize little babies and kill them in their sleep. Well, that is just Stephen King talking and don't believe it. I could never hurt a fly. That time I

punched my RA in the face, well, I was having a really bad day and he spiked my empty cup with some strange brew. And then when I beat up that mentally challenged kid in the fourth grade, well, he was bugging me. I don't like it when people bug me. He kept saying, "play with me, play with me." I was like, hey, flake off man. So I kicked him and basically oppressed him. But I don't do that sort of thing often. This has basically deflated in front of my eyes, but what I am saying is love me! I am fun and I am better than a stupid bunny hopping around tossing colored eggs everywhere. Now that is dangerous.

J i m m y the Clown


the Ranchor M O O D INDICATOR from e

campus boxers

B r u n e t t e sighted M o n d a y A rare sighting of an elusive Bru- Vanderdyksma ('00). "Something nette occurred on campus early dark, and ... brown." Monday morning. "We could hardly believe it," Students leaving Chapel at ap- a d d e d Dirk H o o g e r s m a ( ' 9 9 ) . proximately 10:58 a.m. caught a "They exist! I wish I'd had my camglimpse of a member of this endan- era!" gered species darling through a This incident may confirm rumors that at least one Brunette lives back door of Horsesneeze Hall. "We were just walking along and somewhere in the depths of that all of the sudden. I caught a glimpse, venerated building, well-protected of something weird out of the cor- by the hall's heavy dorm room ner of my e y e / ' s a i d Nell doors.

P r o f r e t i r e s in c o m m u n e Calculus professor Dr. Integral has announced his plans to retire and join a commune in Yugoslavia. He has shaved his head and given himself the name Nob. While there, he plans to cultivate an ant farm and plant enough alfalfa sprouts to end world hunger.

As a May Term, students are invited to join Nob at the commune. To receive three credits for this new senior seminar participants must shave their own heads, take new names, and write a 12 page paper on the many glorious uses of alfalfa.

W A N N A - B E f r o m C. ure I like to play and I don't like to learn so I, uh, want to leave." He averaged three points, two rebounds, and an assist in his nearly five minutes per game last season. He failed to make a single free throw in his career as a Skiing Policeman, but many N B A scouts don't consider this to be a bad thing.

"Free throws don't really matter anymore," said NBA scout Jimmy Meijertrash. "I mean all that matters is that he is the best seventh man on a Division III team. That is pretty good. For the Mavericks' sake, I am glad he came out early. He is ready to be a good player in the pros."

April Fools.Are w e t h e r e yet? Enjoy W o m e n ' s \A^eel<(s). F i g h t the urge to S u r g e . W o o kin* pah nub. Say goodnight. K n i g h t s . F i r e in t h e hole. Last day t o d r o p Re-

Joe Cosmic ('99), member of the Gizmo fraternity, died Thursday in a phreak phrisbee golf decapitation, the first ever documented phrisbee golf death in Soap College history. The scruffy male student in the green T-shirt didn't see the phrisbee until it was too late. Those playing the hole behind him swear that they yelled the usual warning of "fore" before whipping the disc of death toward Joe's unsuspecting neck. Due to the previous night's intense partying, Joe either didn't hear the warning or didn't possess the quick reflexes necessary to d o d g e t h e phrisbee speeding toward him. S u r v i v i n g are Joe's 40-something brothers. Funeral service activities will include a farewell to Joe and his head in a canoe down the Back River, with a memorial brunch at the usual G i z m o table Felps.

Squirrel Attack Heidi Swank VanderVan DerHaan ('98), died Monday in an ambush by rabid, mutant ninja squirrels. Witnesses say that while eating her picnic lunch in the Wine Grove, a black squirrel diverted Heidi's attention by begging for her windmill cookies. As she offered a cookie to the decoy squirrel, an army of the small furry creatures lowered themselves from the trees above, barking their wild war cry. In a frenzy of fur, Heidi was reduced to a pile of bones. Funeral services will be held this weekend, with a memorial tree planting in the Wine

Grove following the service. Public Security has issued a warning to all students to not feed the squirrels and efforts are being undertaken to appease the violent squirrel p o p u l a t i o n . M e a n w h i l e , the squirrels await their next unsuspecting victim.

Up in Smoke Mack Dadi ('97) died from spontaneous c o m b u s t i o n at his desk ^ Tuesday night. "I just c a n ' t l a k e it a n y more!" screamed Mack before his collage-mates heard the e x p l o s i o n thai sent them running to his room. It was reported by his friends that Mack had two exa m s , three p a p e r s , and four oral presentations that week. Although the senior triple major in Biochemistry, Engineering, and Dance had survived the w o r k l o a d up to this point, his friends say that in the past f e w w e e k s Mack had been acting strangely. "He kept mumbling something about the bad men and his computer sucking the lifeforce from his fingers. Sometimes he would sit in the middle of the living room, suck his fingers, and just rock," said r o o m m a t e S e e m o r e Butts ('97). When asked why no one ever reported Mack's strange behavior to Dope College's Counseling Center, Pete replied "It didn't seem strange at the time. That's just the way he was." Funeral services will be held this Sunday, and in tribute to Mack, all exams, papers, and presentations are canceled until the end of the semester.

fond

search Methods. Give t h a n k s for good grub. I'm whoopin' your ace.The morning after... ...smell m y f e e t . U n l e a s h t h e leaf s u c k e r s . Midterms, schmidterms.

Take t h a t laundry t o t h e folks' house! M m m m . . caffeine. Mom, mail m e a sweater! G i m m e b a c k m y o l d ID!

where they were getting all the extra meat," DeOld said. "It wasn't until I saw it with my own eyes that I believed." The horror that DeOld speaks of happened in the meal room in Felps where an estimated one thousand squirrels were slaughtered. After being skinned and chunked, their flesh was ground into what would appear to be plump tasty hamburgers.

"I walked into the meat room to find piles of black squirrel skins, blood stains all over the floor and the hoorible stench of dead squirrel," DeOld said. Head of food services, who purposed the new meat product in order to save money choose not to comment on the killings. He is now facing trial for inhumane acts to animals and endangering the lives of people.

been a follower. Never making your own decisions, always numbly following the crowd of sheep without a thought of leaving the well-trodden path and forging a unique and amazing existence of your very own. But don't despair yet! You are still young and vibrant, it's not too late. Quit school, give away all your worldly possessions, become a vegetarian if you eat meat, eat meat if you're a vegetarian, learn Swahili, move to Alaska and teach the Eskimos to tango, pierce your eyebrow, learn to play the ukelele, force oil

and water to mix, then do the same with water and electricity, swim i m m e d i a t e l y a f t e r eating, stick forks into electrical outlets, steal candy from babies, spit against the wind, say never. Just do it. Before it's too late and you wake up one day to find yourself alone, in an apartment, in your bathrobe, hiding your cat from the manager, eating old Chinese food from those little paper boxes, watching The Price Is Right, and knowing all the prices because you've watched the show so many times you've memorized all the games.

THG Anchor

is o u t

there. I need a s t a n d i n g ovation!

FELPS P H O O D fro sick of the cold weather." It wasn't until when Felps worker Rob DeOld began to feel guilty that students were being deceived did the true cause for the decreasing squirrel population become known. He came forward to admit the horrible activities that have been taking place behind Felp's closed doors. "At first I thought food services was kidding when they told us

GRUMP from h Ha, Ha! Made you look, made you look. Nya, nya, nya nya nya nya. There's no story here, stupid. No extra tidbit of useful information whatsoevever. Now you're feeling pretty poor, aren't you? Admit it, you've always

c a m p u s stiffs Phrisbee Golf Death

A p r i l 2. I 9 9 7

Out for Lunch Ida No ('00) died Saturday in Felps Dining Hall. After eating her dinner, she i n f o r m e d her friends that she was tired and put her head on her light blue tray. When her friends were ready to leave, they were unable to wake her. Physicians said that it was the combination of mystery gumbo, yellow fluff and an unidentified purple liquid that killed her. "She usually just ate salads because she said they were safe. I'm not sure what got into her," said her friend Ima Bore ('00). Her friend Phil McCracken ('99) had a different opinion. "It was the tray, man. Everyone knows there's something wrong with the light blue tray". Investigations into the death continue and students are warned to avoid unecessary use of the questionable tray until further notice. Funeral services will be held Monday, with the memorial reception catered by Felps.

One Last Fall Stan Stif ('97) died last Friday after a fall from the back steps of Seal Science Center. Witnesses say that as he was making his way down the steps, he suddenly jolted forward as if pushed. "It was as if an evil spirit had it out for him. For the past four years of his college career, he's spent so much time in the emergency ward that they have a permanent room for him," said an unidentified friend. "I guess this time it won." After lurching f o r w a r d , Stan rolled down the steps and into a group of rollerbladers. The physicians examining his broken body reported that there were so many old fractures that it was difficult to determine which injuries were inflicted in his final act of accident proneness. Funeral services will be held Sunday. Donations will pay for his hospital bills.

Presidential Speaker Series Schedule Monday, 4 p.m., D i m n u t C h a p e l Doe, leader of the infamous Heaven's Gate Cult will speak about his group's travel plans. Attenders are encouraged to bring a packed suitcase, five dollar bills, quarters, plastic bags, and a big smile. Monday, 8 p.m., V a n d e r w e r f e n z o r e n 222 T.J. Sampson will speak on family values and spousal abuse. Following the seminar will be an auction of Sampson's knife collection, golf clubs, and other personal belongings T\iesday, 12 p.m., K i c k b o x e r T h e a t e r Winnie the Pooh will speak of his own life philosophy based on hunny, rabbits, Eyeores, Tiggers, and precocious little boys who think they know everything. T h u r s d a y , 4 p.m., W e r f e n v a n d e r z o r e n 102 Daisy Duke will speak on the oppression of living with male cousins who are always running from the law. She will also reveal her secret love affair with deputy Enis and the real reason those Duke boys always got away.

PUBLIC NOTICK: Tuition Decrease!!! The Grope College Business Office has announced a tuition decrease for the 1997-98 school year. Last year's $4.68 x 1010 included tuition, room, board, Dow fees, SAC, squirrel control, diversity recruitment, m a i n t e n a n c e , and sexual harassment court costs. Due to death threats by mail, email, and phone, as well as mail bombs and assassination attempts on President John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, next year's

bill will be $1.35 x 10*. "This will go towards tuition, room, board, Dow fees, squirrel control, diversity r e c r u i t m e n t , maintenance, and sexual harassm e n t c o u r t c o s t s . " said Dean Frosty. To save money, the The Business office has asked The Ranchor to print this announcement, instead of wasting money on postage and the minimum wage paid to student letter stuffers and stamp lickers.


^Anchor

A p r i l 2, I 9 9 7

Spotlight

It's gotta be the shoes Hope College employees A . SXRASSBURGER & STACY BOGARD spotlight e d i t o r and campusbeat editor

Yale University and New Haven, C o n n e c t i c u t ... Hope College and H o l l a n d , Michigan. Do any similarities spring to mind? The i w o sc

^oo's and their communities have s o m e t h i n g in common, and it a f f e c t s both their f a c u l t y and staff and their surrounding neighborhoods. The program is called Walk to Work, and through it, Hope employees can forget about making a down payment on a house and receive up ^

walk to work from cheaper

to $7000 for renovations and decorating. Provided, of course, the house is within walking distance of campus. The program began in April 1995 to "combat neighborhood deterioration, improve the quality of life for members of the community, and to serve as a catalyst for further efforts to improve core city neighborhoods," according to its background statement. Funds originated with a d o n a t i o n f r o m an a n o n y m o u s source. "Most of all it is sending people to put some investment into their property," said Diana Benzenberg, Financial Analyst and Assistant to the Vice President of Business and Finance. Linda Strouf, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Music, was the first H o p e employee to buy a house through the program. "I never could have made that down payment myself," she said of her 60-year-old home on 13th Street. "The program has also financed a dishwasher and

a new roof, which is really expensive. By providing an incentive for Hope College and Creative Dining Services employees to settle in a nearby home, the College continues to carry out its belief that a stable core-city neighborhood is vital to its mission. For Strouf, the benefits are great. Besides enabling her to purchase her own home, through Walk to Work she enjoys living close to her place of employment. "1 actually do walk to work," Strouf said. "It's definitely quicker than trying to find a parking spot." All full time employees are eligible for the program, and the target area includes over 150 houses. The College is authorized to supply a total of 14 houses at this point. This target area includes 12th through 15th Street between Lincoln and Fairbanks, 15th Street between College and Columbia, and between River and College from 13th through 15th Street.

a

housing

Some other colleges have adopted similar programs, including Yale, University of Chicago, University of Southern California, Marquette University, and Lycoming College in Pennsylvania. Hope is a prime candidate for the program, due to tensions between the school and poorer surrounding neighborhoods, as well as a growing student body easing out home owners in favor of absent landlords. Walk to Work is taking steps to fix this problem by turning Hope employees into community home owners, subsequently financing renovations in homes that are sometimes 70 years old. Currently, six Hope employees are benefitting from Walk to Work, and more are waiting to be matched with the right house tofittheir family size. Strouf has recently added a new family member to her home â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a Jack Russell terrier named Abby. "I never could have gotten this house without the Walk to Work program," she said.

SAC treats May Day to a makeover The search for a big-name band is on discussion about how SAC actually sibility of j o i n i n g f o r c e s with determines who will perform in the Calvin, Grand Valley State University, and Aquinas College to rent out evening. "We usually are discussing it first the new Van Andel Arena in Grand Before the semester culminates in the frenzy we call final exams, the semester," Folkert said. The pre- Rapids and book a big- name band. But merely renting out Van Andel Social Activities Committee grants liminary search is the job of the Asthe student body one last reprieve: sociate Director, w h o ' s also in for an evening cost approximately Spring Fling. The day usually con- charge of the committee budget. Ul- $30,000. It was then back to the resists of the basic blow-up toys, pic- timately, it is the budget that dic- ality of standing alone in the quest nic lunch, afternoon performer, and tates who the committee is able to for a Spring Fling band. bring. "The decision is made on fis- The appropriations committee then a night of music. allows SAC $7,500 for evening This format has been the standard cal limitations," Folkert said. Last fall Kevin Randall ('97), the entertainment. The entire May Day for the last four years, but 1997 p r o m i s e s to be d i f f e r e n t . Greg previous Associate Director, began budget breaks down into $7,500 for Folkert ('97), S A C s new Associ- looking at a couple different op- evening entertainment, $3,500 for ate Director, indicated this during a tions. Randall checked into the pos- inflatable games and $2,000 for afternoon entertainment. Folkert pointed out that these numbers are Hope College Phonathon would like to basically set in stone. "If we transfer money between thank the following businesses for budgeted items it's considered misappropriations, and the appropriataking part in the Incentive Program. tions committee does not look faThank you for your kind gifts. vorably upon this," he said. Even if the money was pooled Little Ceasars Arby's together from the three areas, the Blimpie's Loker Shoe total amount equals $13,000. 21 ACM MEGG staff r e p o r t e r

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Most big-name bands cost quite a bit more, so the committee would have to rely on ticket sales to sign the band. A Dave Matthews Band acoustic set cost $25,000; other band prices dropped from there. And so Randall left SAC at square one at the end of last semester. Early this semester, Folkert, as the new Associate Director, got back to work on the issue. A f t e r p u t t i n g bids in on the Freddie Jones Band, Jars of Clay, Toad the Wet Sprocket and Cracker, he was denied due to routing problems. Routing problems occur when the location of a concert conflicts with the set touring schedule of the band. The Social Activities Committee ultimately decided not to try to bring in a big-name band, based on budget and time constraints. This prompted the new format for an entirely new Spring Fling. Basically, the traditional May Day will start with a picnic lunch, during

which a Chicago comic, Eric O'Shea, will perform. Assuming that the weather is favorable, six inflatable games will include Spring Fling classics like "bouncy boxing" and exciting additions such as an entire laser tag arena. The evening's opening act will be a Nashville label band, Crunutte and Maher. "They are an acoustic rock band," Folkert said. The identity of the headlining band, however, remains in question. Possibilities include Hanson, a band which receives air play on Sunny 104.5 FM, Savage Garden, an Australian band that Folkert describes as a cross between INXS and Duran Duran, and the Drovers, which is an Irish folk rock band, similar to the Pogues. "Selection is the job of the committee," Folkert said."We count on the committee being a cross section of the campus."

Free show tackles provocative issues A . SXRASSBURGER spotlight editor

Short on cash and looking for something to do this Friday or Saturday? The answer may be found in a free theatrical p r o d u c t i o n , "Oleanna," occurring April 4 and 5 at 8 p.m. in the Dewitt Studio Theatre. "Oleanna" is different from the usual theatrical productions here at Hope. Not only is there no admission cost, but the play is jointly sponsored by both the Theatre Department and the O f f i c e of the Sexual Harassment Policy Educator, Kristin Gray. "Oleanna" is a riveting look at a corrosive social reality â&#x20AC;&#x201D; today's sex, class, and culture wars. This

absorbing tale of a male college instructor and his female student tackles issues of sexual harassment and political correctness, but it also touches on the abuses of power and censorship. The play's first production in 1992 prompted the New York Times to predict "Oleanna" "likely to provoke more arguments than any play this year." Audience members will have a chance to voice those arguments in a panel discussion immediately following the hour and a half show. These discussions will be led by Kristin Gray. David Mamet's "Oleanna" is being brought to Hope by the Actor's Theatre of Grand Rapids and will be restaged for Hope by Jean Reed

Bahle, the director of the recent "Soli's Stor^jPThe productions will feature the original cast members. Curt Buckley and Lisa Nowak, as the professor and his student. A u d i e n c e m e m b e r s shouldn't expect any neat stereotyping of the t w o c h a r a c t e r s into predictable male/female roles. Mamet's characters are too individual to fall into those categories. "John and Carol are even remarkably similar in their sense of anger at how the world has treated them," Bahle said. Again, there is no admission cost to "Oleanna." Because of limited seating, it is suggested that patrons be at the Dewitt Studio Theatre no later than 7:45 p.m. T h e house opens at 7:30 p.m.


^Anchor

Religion

A p r i l 2, I 997

Hope's silent m i n o r i t y Athiests live and learn in a Christian atmosphere NOELLE W O O D staff reporter

-r^r

peers to be u n c o m f o r t a b l e c o m - though they are Christian, are inpany. terested in helping students sort " S o m e of my best friends are through [their beliefs]." Christians. We s o m e t i m e s argue T h e reasons atheists give for about what is right, but it's more of their beliefs are varied. a debate than them attempting to Joe Schweiss ( ' 9 8 ) has a perconvert m e , " said art m a j o r Jess sonal reason for his choice to not Koskey ('98). believe. Chapla agrees. " M y brother died in a plane "I have c o m e across a few in- crash the summer before I started dividuals with a closed negative at- ninth grade. He and his friends had titude toward been missing for a difference. week before we But as a f o u n d out what group, I've I was t o l d t h a t happened to them. had n o real My brother had H o p e was only problem with been very reliaffiliated w i t h the H o p e ' s gious his whole Reformed Church. Christians," life and he got to she said. d r o w n f o r it. I After, I got here I Koskey don't think that if was kind of shocked has found there were a God, at the pressure to that d i s c u s h e would kill off sions with such a faithful folbe Christian. his Christian lower. I haven't â&#x20AC;&#x201D; E r i n Chapla ('98) friends have f o u n d any reason helped him to define himself reto believe in a G o d since then," ligiously as he was never forced to Schweiss said. do before. Chapla has also experiOthers have philosophical enced a unique chance to explore problems with religion. her b e l i e f s w h i l e s u r r o u n d e d by "All the different religions and Christians. sects today have formulas for ev"Coming to Hope has given me erything and seem very removed a good opportunity to examine and f r o m a deity," Chapla said. defend my beliefs. Hope's Christian "Rationally, it d o e s n ' t s e e m s t u d e n t s d o n ' t h a v e this s a m e that God exists. I don't see why a chance to defend their beliefs be- perfect being would create things cause they are surrounded by people that couldn't depend on themselves. who all believe the same things," I feel freer depending only on myshe said. self," Koskey said. Dean of Students Richard Frost "Religion seems to be a conhas met with students in his office venient way to explain things withthat do have concerns over the reli- out looking for scientific reasons. gious dynamics at Hope. Often it is It also seems to be a created source one particular incident that sparks of comfort that I don't think I need," said Todd Hambley ('99), math mathe concern, he said. "I try to e m p o w e r students to j o r and transfer student from Northtalk with the student they are hav- ern University. ing trouble with," Frost said. They chose to come to Hope Students also express concern and stay at this campus filled with that Hope doesn't present enough Christians. They came, not because of Hope's Christian affiliation, but different religions. " S o m e students don't feel they because of its good academic prohave room to struggle," Frost said. grams and financial aid assistance. "I encourage them to try things on And here they stay, in their small and the majority of the faculty, even numbers, with their atheism intact.

There are atheists at Hope who deny the existence of any God. Of 2365 students who answered the admissions questionnaire on church affiliation, only 40 indicated that they were not part of any religion. According to the Hope College catalogue, "the mission of Hope College is to o f f e r with recognized excellence, academic programs in liberal arts...in the context of the historic Christian faith." When Erin Chapla ( ' 9 8 ) applied to Hope, she did not realize that it had such a strong Christian influence. "I was misled by Admissions. I was told that Hope was only affiliated with the Reformed Church of America and that a lot of the students were Christian. After I got here, I was kind of shocked at the pressure to be Christian," she said. photo courtesy of Jason Henderson Vice President of Admissions P O U R IT" O N : January Estes COO) and Dr. Bergsma Jim Bekkering knows it is a hard pour cement for a cistern during their mission trip to Jamaica. j o b to accurately represent a student body of nearly 3,000 students. "Hope's mission statement says 4in the context of the historic Mission trips spark spirit of service Christian f a i t h , ' " Bekkering said. last year four. What has changed is " T h e College operates in the ChrisKIM POWELL the students' desire to become in- tian context. Not all students are religion editor volved. C h r i s t i a n and w h e t h e r you a r e . This spring break 175 Hope The locations of the trips were Christian or not there are opportustudents dedicated the week to serv- picked through referrals from other nities to grow in faith." ing God by serving others. college campuses that plan trips, Bekkering emphasizes that the The Chaplain's O f f i c e sent out trips that were a good experience o p p o r t u n i t y f o r g r o w t h in an ten mission trips and supported an last year, and by making phone calls individual's faith is not limited to independent trip to Jamaica. Each and researching different organiza- Christianity. trip consisted of teams of 15 stu- tions. "We are unashamedly Chrisdent, including two leaders. Kievit really encourages stu- tian, but the emphasis is on openOutreach Director, Lori Fair dents to go on trips if they have a ness and the individual," he said. and her assistant Sarah Kievit ( ' 9 8 ) chance. C h a p l a f o u n d t h a t in h e r began planning the trips in late Oc" M i s s i o n trips are a w e s o m e courses, and not only her religion tober. experiences," she said. "In that kind classes, professors assume that evThe ten trips filled up after only of c o n t a i n e d e n v i r o n m e n t a lot eryone in the class is Christian. a couple hours of registration as the comes out of them. It gives students "It's difficult in a historical litline of students waiting to register a chance to see how God works in erature class when professors just at the Keppel House stretched down other places." assume that everybody understands Tenth Street to Gilmore Hall. Since returning from break Fair all the biblical references," Chapla "It's hard to put your finger on has been talking with trip leaders. said. why so many students wanted to It's difficult to sum up the overall For the most part, Hope's athego," Fair said. "Part of it is G o d ' s mission trip experience. ists have not found their Christian work on c a m p u s [ c o n v i n c i n g ] "People were impacted in a lot p e o p l e to get i n v o l v e d , w o r d of of ways," Fair said. " I ' m confident mouth from last year's trips, and that God will use every experience Wlimili; people wanting an adventure." beyond Hope College." Mission trips are not a new â&#x20AC;˘ Plans are already in the works RIDGEPOINT phenomenon at Hope. For several to organize more trips for next year. years at least one trip was planned, T h e exact n u m b e r is still under two years ago there were two, and prayer. Fair said.

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a t r e o n 8 t h S t r e e t a t 9:30 and 11:00 a . m . Evening services are h e l d o n t h e f i r s t and t h i r d Sunday o f t h e m o n t h a t 6:0d p.m. at Knickerbocker Theatre.


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A p r i l 2, I 9 9 7 strictly Attention: We have current information regarding abortion, assisted suicide, adoption, and crisis pregnancy centers. Contact: Right to Life of Holland. 100 S. Waverly Rd. Holland, Mi. 49423 or Phone3 9 6 - 1 0 3 7 . Web s i t e : http:/ wvvw.rtl.org

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Fat M o n k e y : From the toes to the head...your turn. Thanks for the special treat. Only four more to go unless you stay!! lil angel

Get Involved With STUDENT CONGRESS Monday, April 7 Petitions Due in SUD by 5pm Tuesday, April 15 Speeches in Phelps 5pm (Pres & VP only) Wednesday & Thursday April 16 & 17 Elections Pick up your petitions for: President, Vice President, Class R e p a n d C o m p t r o l l e r at the Student Union D e s k

A B C : Thanks for not calling me back at all. You don't deserve to be called Chachi.

J e n n i f e r and Carie: Hello lovely lasses, enjoy your haggus. Cheers!—Maiku

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Fresh faces make mark at Nationals Van Auken also got her fourth placing of the championships, placing fifth in the 100-yard freestyle with a :52.88 time. The seniors went out with a flurry " T h e seniors did a terrific j o b of and the freshmen came in with a preparing the freshmen for the nabang at the Division III Swimming tional meet, and they should only and Diving Championships, which get better," Patnott said. w e r e held at O x f o r d , O h i o , o n Earning AllMarch 13 to 15. American honThe Flying ors for the men Dutch w o m e n ' s was their lone team, repreT h e seniors did a qualifier, Derek sented by a mix terrific job of VanderHeide of freshmen and preparing the ('97). seniors, swam VanderHeide their w a y to an freshmen for the finished sixth in overall eighth national m e e t , and t h e 1 0 0-yard place finish with t h e y s h o u l d o n l y g e t freestyle with a a total of 135.5 personal best better. points. t4 t i m e of :45.62, I was very —John Patnott and also earned pleased," said S w i m m i n g Coach Honorable Mens w i m m i n g head tion All-Americoach John can recognition by winning the conPatnott. "You look at a young team s o l a t i o n f i n a l s in the 5 0 - y a r d with the women and they had the ability to handle the national meet, freestyle and finishing ninth overand I was impressed with that. Most all. Looking ahead to next season, had lifetime bests, and you can't ask Patnott is both pleased with the for any more than that." Each of the women that partici- prospect of having such young talpated earned All-American honors ent and equally wary of losing the seniors. by placing in the top eight. "Next year's seniors will have a The 200-yard freestyle relay of Amy Bos ( ' 0 0 ) , A d r i e n n e Prince big load to pick up," Patnott said. ( ' 0 0 ) , Llena D u r a n t e ( ' 0 0 ) , and "The upperclassmen need to teach Erinn Van Auken fOO) placed fifth the u n d e r c l a s s m e n what c o l l e g e swimming is about and they have overall with a time of 1:38.60. D u r a n t e and Van A u k e n a l s o to be willing to do that." "You can always replace points, teamed up with Lindy Chelf ('97) but t h e q u a l i t y of l e a d e r s h i p is and Megan Hunter ( ' 9 7 ) to place fifth in the 400-yard medley relay learned over four years," he said. and third in the 200-yard medley "Coaches really depend upon upperclassmen leadership." relay. MIKE ZUIDEMA staff reporter

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N I C E P I X C H : Flying Dutch Softball player Erin Beckman ('99) delivers a pitch in the second game of last Wednesaday's double-header against Alma College. The Scots, who are ranked 19th in the nation defeated Hope by a combined score of 21-5. The Flying Dutch are ranked 23rd in the nation in the latest poll

The Traveling Dutchmen • W o m e n ' s T e n n i s - The Flying Dutch w o m e n ' s tennis team started their season with five straight wins, including three shutouts against Aquinas, SUNY-Oneonta, and Johns Hopkins University. Since then, however, Hope has lost four of their last five matches to drop their record to 6 - 4 overall. •Men's Tennis- Hope's m e n ' s tennis team opened their season winning only two of their first nine n n recor matches, but have come on strong as of late, win- * ' ^ ^ o u r *n a r o w " ^ now stands at 7-6 overall. ^ • S o f t b a l l - The Flying Dutch had a sue• cessful trip South, winning six out of eight games, including two shutouts, p Since the trip, however, Hope has e r s 10 i faltered as they lost two double-head' ^ m a College and Grand Valley. t e a m • B a s e b a l l - H o p e ' s baseball <^^C traveled south to Panama City, Fla., for Spring Break and lost seven out of ' t h e i r eleven games in the sun. Since their return they have lost to Aquinas 18-2 and beat Adrian 4-3. t h e i r record now stands at 5-9, 1-0 in the league. •Men's a n d W o m e n ' s T r a c k - Hope's m e n ' s and w o m e n ' s track teams have fared well thus far this season. The m e n ' s team finished 16th at the Springtime Invitational and third at the Hope Invitational, while the women placed fourth. Both teams will compete in a dual meet aganist Alma and Olivet this weekend.

D u t c h m e n d r i v e f o r Salem t h w a r t e d "I was disappointed in the last GLYN W I L L I A M S game of the season and I thought sports editor w e w e r e m e n t a l l y stronger than T h e Hope College m e n ' s basket- how we played," said head coach ball team spent this past season try- Glenn Van Wieren. "But I think we ing to accomplish high expectations had an excellent season and the last that turned out to be too hard to live g a m e w i l l n o t b e t h e l a s t i n g memory. People will remember that up to. we were 14-0 in the league, includT h e Flying D u t c h m e n d a s h e d through the season, defeating nearly ing the tournament, and not many everyone that got in their way. Ev- people can say that." MIA A Most Valuable Player Joel eryone, that is, with the exception of the surprise team of the season, Holstege ( ' 9 8 ) led Hope with 21 Nebraska Wesleyan University. T h e points, w h i l e David M e u l e n b e r g P l a i n s m e n h a n d e d t h e F l y i n g ( ' 9 7 ) chipped in 16 points and Kris Dutchmen their third and final loss Merritt ('98) added 10. Holstege, Merritt, and of the season, 92-75, in the Sweet Meulenberg were all named to the 16 on Friday, March 14. Nebraska Wesleyan later went on All-MIAA first team, while Marc to lose to Illinois Wesleyan by three Whitford ( ' 9 7 ) was named to the points in the Division III champi- second team All-MIAA. Holstege onship game, proving themselves to w a s also voted to the Basketball truly be a tougher team than most Times first team All-America and National Association of Basketball people expected. T h e Flying D u t c h m e n finished Coaches first team All-Region. Holstege had a spectacular year, their season at 26-3, after winning the Michigan Intercollegiate Ath- placing in the top five in four statistical categories, including scorletic Association title. Against Nebraska Wesleyan, the ing (fifth), three-point field goal Flying Dutchmen took an early 14- shooting (second), assists (first), 6 lead just a few minutes into the and steals (first). His 71 three-point first half, but the Plainsmen slowly baskets set a Hope College record and he is now the school's all-time b e g a n t o d o m i n a t e by i n c h i n g ahead. Hope was down by halftime, leader in three-point baskets. He also currently ranks 19th on 39-29.

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Hope's all-time career scoring list with 1,051 points. The leader is currently Floyd Brady ('68) with 2,004 points, with Duane Bosma ( ' 9 6 ) close behind with 1,937. Next year's team looks to be succ e s s f u l as well, as they graduate only three players, one of whom, Whitford, was a starter consistently. "Whitford brought a lot of leadership to the team and we will lose some of his character," Van Wieren said. "We are going to lose a lot of personalities that meshed real well, but we have a lot of good players that will step up to fill their shoes next year."

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HOUSING from 2 Most students are unaware that there is still hope to obtain their first choice housingafter room selection is finished for students to obtain their first choice housing, according to Emerson. "It would be my goal to get every student what they want, but 1 have to work in limitations," he said. E m e r s o n has p o s t e d the total n u m b e r of credit h o u r s of each group so that others who question the process are able to see how the selection was conducted and who was ahead of them in credits. Residence hall r o o m selection

Sure you're busy, but will others be busy when you need help?

will take place on April 15 and 17. This is also based on credit hours and will follow the same process as last year, with students receiving a specific time to go and name their room choice. A few cottage spaces will also be available at this time. Students living in cottage housing are mostly chosen by the Resident Assistant assigned to each cottage, but there are usually a f e w rooms or cottages still available during room draw. "We always have spaces opening up over the summer, and we are willing to work with people to fit their needs," he said.

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04-02-1997