Valley Voice October 2017

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October 2017 . Issue 6.10


a member managed llc

Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

Photo by Trevor Ward


October 2017

Valley Voice

“My understanding of our local economy recognizes that one of the most valuable assets we possess is being a great place to live and work. The city’s role in support of this asset is first and foremost to provide essential services in a first-rate manner within well-defined financial constraints and take care of what we already own.

Re-elect Scott Ford

Steamboat Springs City Council At Large

This is the City’s most important job.”

Paid Political Advertisement by Scott Ford Candidate.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

October 2017




If I hear ‘storm surge” one more time… Save a Piece of Steamboat’s Heritage

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The Value of Local Spending

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Doctors & Hospitals in Southern Routt

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The Student Loan Mess Part III

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You Can’t See Me!

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By Dagny McKinley By Scott L. Ford

Hanging banners over the US highway during morning rush hour… Air so thick with smoke you can chew it…

By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield By Scott L. Ford By Karen Vail

Colorado companies that don’t want Colorado employees… Day Care Center surging to $900K

The Bloody Leg

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A Tale of a Town: Fruition

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Calendar of Events

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First Friday Art Walk

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Sales: Eric Kemper

Health Insurance PSA

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Event Calendar: Eric Kemper

A Black Cat

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You Have Until Halloween to Find a Date!

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Aliens and Acid Trips

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By Aimee Kimmey By John Whittum

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf Business Manager:

Scott Ford

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.

Official Fine Print

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

By Eric Kemper

By Wina Procyzyn By Betsy Packer

By Debora Black

By Mr. Helpful M.D. By Lyn Wheaton

Underground Page 23 By Wandering Rose

The Rafters Page 23 By Marion Tolles

Toxins: Biology vs. Hysteria

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Being the only phone number your old friend remembers in jail... Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Fires... Enough said...

Raves... Hard working fire crews. Hats off to these true heroes… The season’s annual pageant of color… Warm days and cool nights. The perfect sleeping weather… OktoberWest and all the participants in the Beef Cook-off. Congrats to Salt & Lime… Day Care Center getting dumped due to $900k estimate (and climbing)... My old truck running like new again, thanks to Doc’s Auto Clinic!

Lo Siento Page 25

Say What?...

Global Warming Page 25

“Mountain living will ruin your life.”

Yepelloscopes Page 26

“Ow, my stomach! That was a Not-A-Good-Times burger.”


“You brought me a dark beer? That’s passive aggresive.”

By Monica Yager

By Jose Mendoza Hernandez By John Whittum

By Chelsea Yepello

Page 27

“We’ll be friends till we’re old and senile... Then we’ll be new friends!”

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

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Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.—Judy Gold


October 2017

Valley Voice

Art in the ‘Boat

Save a Piece of Steamboat’s Heritage By Dagny McKinley

that and revitalize the caboose, all thanks to Lisa Popovich and Main Street Steamboat Springs. American Express and the National Trust for Historic Preservation teamed up to create the Partners in Preservation program. The program has committed $19 million in support of historic places across the U.S. This year, Partners in Preservation will fund 10 out of 25 Main Street America projects to restore and revitalize something significant to their town. But there’s a catch. They don’t just give the money, the Main Street projects have to win the most votes in order to be awarded the money. “All I’m asking for is 30 minutes of your life. One minute a day for the next 30 days,” said Lisa Popovich, Main Street Steamboat. The campaign launches September 26th across the country. Between September 26th and October 31st, Steamboat needs to get enough votes to surpass at least 15 of the other 25 chosen communities. If Steamboat lands in the top ten communities of votes cast, the caboose will receive $150,000 to repurpose the caboose into an artist’s live/ work space. You may have noticed the bright yellow caboose that sits outside of, and is owned by, the Steamboat Springs Art Depot. Maybe you’ve noticed the small kids that climb on it, or the families that come and take pictures of it. What you may not have noticed are the vandals that find it a challenge to break into the caboose and graffiti the insides with profanities and obscenities. Until something is done to give the caboose a purpose, this will continue to happen no matter how many locks the Steamboat Springs Arts Council places on it. Now we have a chance to change all

“Over the years we have seen significant damage to the caboose from vandalism, graffiti and neglect,” said Kim Keith, Executive Director of the Steamboat Springs Arts Council. “I believe that when you take pride in the care of something, then others will follow suit (usually). The renovating of the caboose will be a shining example of how important it is to preserve Steamboat’s treasures to tell the unique story of our community. Many people don’t know the railroad’s arrival shaped the nature of this town and even the sound of the town.”

2560 Copper Ridge Drive, Steamboat Springs, Colorado (970) 879-8577

The biggest challenge Steamboat faces is it is competing with Main Streets in places like Brooklyn where the population is more than substantially larger than that of Steamboat Springs. However, Partners for Preservation believes that Steamboat has the chops it takes, and is excited enough about the caboose project for us to have been chosen as one of 25 Main Street Communities throughout the country. Why the Caboose: • Turns the caboose from disrepair into artist’s studio • The Art Depot and Caboose serve as a gateway to downtown Steamboat • Creates a true partnership between Main Street and the Arts Council. • This is a project people are passionate about but hasn’t gained much steam. How it begins: • October 6th (which is also a First Friday Artwalk) there is an open house across all 25 communities • Look for the tent outside the Steamboat Springs Art Depot to celebrate the idea of the creative caboose and learn how to vote. • “It will be your regular First Friday Artwalk, kind of on steroids,” said Lisa Popovich • There will be additional signage around town letting you know how to vote. How it works: • 25 communities are chosen to have one project considered for preservation or restoration • For one month people vote for their favorite project • Each person can vote five times each day from now until October 31st, 2017 • You can vote for five different projects each day or vote for the caboose five times each day • Once voting closes, the top 10 winners will be announced two days later. • Each winner receives $150,000 to commence repairs Here is how you can help: • Go to: • Vote every day until October 31st • Share this link on all of your social media sites and ask your acquaintances, friends and family to vote every day. “This contest isn’t just about the caboose,” said Popovich, “the contest is about Main Street the town. For Steamboat, Main Street is a place that represents the heart – we all gather here, we have an ice cream, we enjoy a beautiful crepe, we talk to our neighbors – more so than any place I have ever lived we congregate in our main street area. We participate in everything whether it’s the farmer’s market, art walk, bike races, parades or ski jumping, we enjoy our town regularly. Part of the marketing effort may include having a conductor walking around town instructing people on how to vote, as well as statewide outreach. As for what we can do here, “Make voting part of your daily routine. You have your coffee, your Steamboat Today, your Valley Voice, your crepe and then you vote,” said Popovich. “It’s all part of a routine. Brush your hair, vote.”

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

October 2017


Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

The Value of Local Spending By Scott L. Ford

Over the summer months in this column I have taken a deeper dive into income and spending of Steamboat Springs area residents. If the spending habits of the residents of Steamboat are like their counterparts across nation about 70% of the households in our area essentially live pay check to pay check. This month I will be looking in detail at how much of our monthly spending stays locally. There were about 6,750 number of households in the Steamboat area as of 2015. The median household income was $67,577. From this gross household income about 15% on average is paid in federal and state income taxes across all Steamboat area households. Gross income less these taxes is considered the disposable income. The median disposable income of a Steamboat area household is about $57,500. The table on a percentage basis reflects how much this disposable income is spent locally. The typical household in the Steamboat area spends about 50% of their disposable income locally. How much of an opportunity exists to increase spending locally? Without question some. However, an increase in local spending of between 5 and 10% would be huge.

Estimate of Local Spending by Steamboat Area Households

Steamboat Area Disposable Income in 2015


Percentage Dollar Value Percent Spent Dollar Value of of Spending Locally Local Spending

Food Purchased to be Consumed at Home 7.2% $4,140 97% $4,016 Food Purchased Away from Home (Restaurants) 5.4% $3,105 77% $2,391 Alcohol Beverages 0.9% $518 97% $502 Tobacco 0.6% $345 97% $335 Pensions and Social Security 10.7% $6,153 3% $185 Life and Other Personal Insurances 0.6% $345 3% $10 Education 2.3% $1,323 15% $198 Apparel (Men-Women-Children) 3.3% $1,898 30% $569 Personal Care 1.2% $690 95% $656 Health Care .5% $4,290 85% $3,646 Miscellaneous 1.6% $920 95% $874 Household Furnishing and Equipment 3.2% $1,840 55% $1,012 Housekeeping Supplies 1.2% $690 95% $656 Household Operations 2.3% $1,323 95% $1,256 Utilities 6.9% $3,968 100% $3,968 Shelter (Mortgage/Rent) 26.0% $14,950 11% $1,645 Vehicle Purchase Payments (Net Outlay) 7.1% $4,083 60% $2,450 Fuel and Repairs .7% $2,128 70% 1,489 Expenses other than Vehicle Related 1.2% $690 0% $ (air travel / Lodging etc.) Reading 0.2% $115 45% $52 Entertainment 5.1% $2,933 70% $2,053 Cash Contributions 1.8% $1,058 75% $794

100.0% $57,500 $28,754 Percentage Estimate of Local Spending 50%

Photos by Crash Sterne

Is it not careless to become too local when there are four hundred billion stars in our galaxy alone.—A.R. Ammons


October 2017

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Doctors and Hospitals in Southern Routt County By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

asked to leave her training and help during the crisis. While working long hours, she also contracted typhoid and was put on a stretcher and shipped by rail to her home in Arkansas. She survived. Despite the illness and separation, Morrow and Helen married in 1916. She became the backbone of the hospital.

Helen stated, “I ran the hospital. . . . I did the night duty when the night nurse didn’t show up . . . filled in for any vacancy . . . cooked, helped in surgery and follow up treatment.” She traveled with Doc on his calls and “opened the gates for him.” He handled several mine accidents, appendicitis, and tonsils surgeries. Over the years, Doc Morrow delivered an estimated 2,200 babies. While working around the clock during the 1918-19 flu epidemic, both of them contracted flu. Helen wrote, “We both thought that was the end . . . We took some aspirin and a dose of whiskey and went to bed. The next morning we woke up feeling fine. Whiskey and aspirin was the standard treatment of flu. We lost very few patients.”

Yampa had six doctors when the Denver, Northwestern & Pacific Railroad arrived in 1908: Canady, McKinsey, Showdy, John H. Cole, Clock, and Leon C. Gilbert. In those days, a doctor needed only an office with a door on which to hang his shingle. Medicine was a loose practice of prescribing herbs and potions. The Yampa Leader presented many ads for pills, linuments and tonics. Women were a major force in providing early medicine. Professional Nurse, Mrs. E. W. Wetherill, was the proprietor of Yampa’s first hospital and Dr. Cole the medical director. The Red Cross Monte Cristo Hospital, in the Monte Cristo Hotel, was under the direction of Mrs. S. K. Nesbitt with Dr. Gilbert the house physician. His office was on the second floor of another business. Doctors had plenty to do. Many men were grievously hurt while constructing the railroad or working the saw mills. Epidemics of scarlet fever, mumps and diphtheria were frequent. The outbreak of typhoid fever resulted in both Yampa and Oak Creek replacing their shallow wells with a city water system. Due to a combination of factors, Yampa fell on hard times about 1910 and lost its vigor. The medical profession along with other businesses moved to the more vigorous new mining town of Oak Creek. Recognizing the critical need for a hospital in the mining district, Mrs. Julia G. Little in 1911 opened the Mercy Hospital. She operated it only three months before selling to Mrs. Nora Morgan, who maintained the hospital with Doc Cole as physician. In 1921, Mrs. Samuel Hamilton opened her Maternity Hospital (also called the Red Cross Hospital) intending to only serve expectant mothers, but soon served a broad scope of patients.

Dr. Earnest Morrow became the mainstay of Oak Creek’s medical profession. His early education was haphazard and he was already in medical school before he received his BA degree. In 1908, he married his childhood sweetheart who had tuberculosis. While in his junior year in medical school, the couple left Chicago in favor of Denver and Gross Medical School. Oak Creek’s coal miners went on strike in 1910. Among their demands was a hospital, since a medical fee was already being deducted from their wages. Learning of the opportunity, Morrow moved to Oak Creek as a company doctor. He contracted with the miners at $1.00 per month for single men and $1.50 for married men. He did not build a hospital until 1914 when the miners’ fee was raised to $3.00 per month. The mining companies collected the money from each man. Birdie Morrow succumbed to tuberculosis. Shortly after his hospital was completed, a typhoid epidemic broke out and Helen Hugill, an 18-year-old student nurse, was

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Dr. Morrow and Helen continued to operate the hospital through good and lean years; but despite their efforts to outwork, out run, and out last Time, they grew old and in 1949 sold the hospital and moved on. The next doctor, James Lesley, was an excellent and dedicated doctor, but fate rules the lot of man. Beginning in 1950, the coal mines closed and communities vanished. Others became weak and drained of population, money, and vigor. The Oak Creek Hospital closed in 1957 and Doc Lesley moved on. In July 1962, three women (their names lost in time) were drinking coffee and talking about getting a Sears Foundation medical grant. Six hundred square miles of southern Routt County were without a doctor or medical service. With no ambulance service and only

Valley Voice

two doctors in Steamboat, medical care was scarce. The women had no money and no experience at raising funds. Considering themselves qualified, they decided to build a fully modern medical center. Who were the best qualified to help them? More women. They recruited the Silver Spruce Women’s Club and contacted the Sears Foundation to find out what they had to do. Sears representative Mr. Davis came to Oak Creek and explained they had to run a public opinion survey showing they had support, purchase suitable land, and raise $36,000 within a limited time. A committee organized with the local druggist, Jim Metzner, selected to lead. The survey found many residents thought it was a waste of time and money. Others “Knew it Could be done!” Dan Knott loaned $100 to get the fund started. Others quickly pledged money. The Silver Spruce Women’s Club raised $135 at a chicken noodle dinner. The committee incorporated and the lawyer donated his fee. Public dances and raffles were held. The Phippsburg Community Club pitched in with dinner. The Craig radio station KRAI provided free air time. The Pilot ran articles. By December, they had $2,000 and enough pledges to ask Sears for the blue prints. Ranchers donated cows, steers, sheep, lambs, pigs for an auction. Individuals donated numerous other items. The weather was terrible on sale day, forcing them to reschedule a week later. The delay seriously hurt the sale, but fund raising continued. On August 20, 1963, breaking ground for construction began with the county providing its road crew and equipment and people from near and far volunteering. More money was needed. Someone was a friend of the Cheyenne TV personality Sammy Skinner. He agreed to head a local talent show and perform himself. It was a sellout success. With construction in full swing, it was time to begin looking for a doctor. In late October, Dr. John Ryan came to inspect the building and seemed satisfied. Ryan called in January and agreed to take the medical center, but he needed a furnished house. A suitable house was located and women pitched in, cleaned it, and repainted the interior. All the second hand stores and people’s homes were raided for furniture, beds, and a furnace for heat. The house readied, the women hurried to clean and finish the medical center. A week later, the Doc called to say he wasn’t coming. That was a hell of a blow. Then on February 2, Ryan again called to say he was coming. They were still $2,000 short, but The Boettcher Foundation came through with a grant. Late one evening, after the women finished cleaning and arranging the South Routt Medical Clinic, they reflected a moment. In fourteen months they had built a modern medical clinic with space for a doctor, dentist, physical therapist and staff. It was debt free. They had done it. Three women while drinking coffee said, “We can do it.” Fifty-five years later, South Routt Medical Center remains open and serving the community. ******************************** Christine McKelvie’s book, Is There a Hospital in this Place, provides an excellent account of doctors and hospitals in Steamboat Springs.

October 2017


Go Figure!?

40 Million Young Adults Who Are Slaves to the Lenders Thanks to Student Loans By Scott L. Ford

Like many things, debt bubbles are relatively straightforward. They form when three major conditions converge: A. Loans for an asset (homes, cars, etc.) grow to the point where they make up a significant portion of the economy. B. The price paid for that asset, and so the underlying debt, becomes worth more than the actual value of the asset. C. This becomes a widespread phenomenon, inflating the prices for an entire category of asset (for example, overpricing houses in general). When the system works well, borrowers do not go underwater on debt because lenders will not extend credit in the first place. The system fails when lenders extend credit to borrowers that are not creditworthy. Borrowers have negative value, because the debt they are responsible for is worth more than what they bought, and lenders end up writing off increasing loan defaults. Some think there is a student loan bubble developing. Not only has the cost of a college education climbed sharply in recent years, but its value also seems to have declined. A college degree is not the future earnings guarantee it once was. All the elements necessary for a textbook bubble are in place with student loans. However, this bubble will not burst because student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. In addition, student loans are not an asset subject to foreclosure; lenders cannot pry a degree in Ancient Chinese History out of the brain of a student borrower and resell it. There is no way to burst this bubble, so it just gets bigger. Since student borrowers cannot declare bankruptcy, the defaults have started. In 2015 alone more than 1.1 million borrowers entered default, and as of 2016, nearly 40 percent of borrowers were either in default or more than 90 days past due. In an ordinary market economy, this amount of loan defaults would “pop” the bubble, but not for student debt. Those defaulting borrowers will now be subject to summary collection action and seizure of their wages and tax refunds, which will keep them from escaping this debt.

King Solomon said it best over 2,000 years ago when he said, “Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is a slave to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7)

How does this all end? Most likely it will contribute to an extended period where the American economy is stuck in the doldrums - an economy that survives but does not thrive. A problem that is in part caused by over 40 million young borrowers who feel they have no other choice other than to go into debt to pay for an education that may cost more than the house they grew up in. Hayden Museum Fundraiser

Echoes of the Past: Lantern Tour of the Hayden Cemetery Come & hear the stories of Past Hayden & West Routt residents!!

Cost: $25 Adult /$20 Adult Museum Member/ $10 child (under 18) (includes chili dinner, tour & dessert) Tours at 6 pm & 6:45 come early!!

*Just Chili dinner (5-8 pm) $ 7.00 Adult /$5.00 Child Bring your own flashlight or purchase a lantern $10 the night of the tour!

Limited seating get your tickets early!! Purchase tickets online at at the museum OR at the door

For more info: Call the Museum at 276-4380

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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx


October 2017

Valley Voice

‘Boat Almanac

You Can’t See Me! By Karen Vail

backgrounds. My most amazing bird encounter was the bird I just could not see even though I was looking right at it. I was told there was an American bittern (Botaurus lentiginasus) in the riparian grasses just in front of me and everyone was atwitter with excitement. Except I just could not see it. I was expecting the shape of a heron or ibis, but after someone showed me a picture of the bittern with its brown and cream striped neck stretched straight up parallel with the grass blades I finally spotted it. Wow, that is a cool bird!!

Since this is the month where one never knows what is hiding just around the corner or hiding in plain sight, let’s “look” at those things we can’t see! Bring on the camouflage! When I was very young I found a praying mantis insect on a lilac in our back yard. I was smelling the sweet lilac perfume when the twig my hand was on moved! It initially scared the heck out of me, then kept me enthralled for the next hour. Camouflage helps an organism mask its location, identity and movement. An organism’s physical characteristics will determine the type of camouflage: animals with fur will have different camouflage tactics than those with feathers and scales. Animals with fur take longer to make the seasonal change than feathers and scales which can be discarded and regrown quickly. Snowshoe hares (Lepus americanus) take up to ten weeks to finish their molt from brown to white (summer to winter) in the fall and vice versa in the spring. The behavior of an animal is also important. Animals living solitary lives will have different camouflage than those in groups. And their predators’ behaviors will affect the type of camouflage. If a predator is color blind then often the patterning, rather than the color of the prey, is more important, or the prey can take advantage of the colors they cannot see. Canids (coyotes, wolves, foxes, etc.) cannot see reds and greens. Elk calves are reddish when they are born, possibly one tactic to hide their young from coyotes and wolves. Environmental and behavioral factors cause animals to use camouflage tactics. One of the most common tactics involve forms of mimicry. With mimicry, an animal can blend into the background to evade predators, or pretend it is a poisonous form of someone else. The praying mantis I enjoyed as a child is a wonderful mimic of the branch where they stalk their insect prey. Background matching produces some fascinating colors, forms and movement. The simplest type of background matching is the browns of mule deer and cottontails blending into their earthy

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Another camouflage tactic is the “I can really confuse you” defense of disruptive coloration. As the name implies, color and/or patterning is used to “change” the identity or location of an animal. A red fox sneaking up on a group of dark-eyed juncos (Junco hyemalis) pecking away at seeds on the ground sees only the drab browns and grays of the birds’ bodies. As he pounces, the junco tails flare out and white stripes down the tail startle the fox in mid jump, disrupting his focus on the bird’s body. Many butterflies use “eye spots”, those large white dots on their hind wings, as an evasive tactic when they open their wings to flee. These markings might appear as large owl eyes and startle the attacker. Next time you are in the alpine in early summer when white-tailed ptarmigan (Lagopus leucera) are trailed by their chicks, stop and examine the area around the adults. Surprise! The chicks slowly emerge from the mottled background as you detect their slight movements. Amazing, isn’t it? Killdeer chicks are the same way. Both these birds have precocial chicks (chicks raring and ready to go soon after they hatch) that need protection as they wander with their parents, and disruptive coloring is fantastic at melting them into their surroundings. Self decoration is exactly what it sounds like. Animals utilize their natural surroundings to decorate their bodies to look like their surrounding. Caddis fly larva are master self decorators. Look in slow moving, healthy waterways for these larval cases decorated with anything from small twigs to pieces of mica to grains of sand. Warning! Warning! Sometimes an organism’s best defense is to let everyone know they are poisonous or taste bad or might make the eater throw up. This is warning coloration or aposematism (your new word for the month!). Probably the most well known for warning coloration is the monarch butterfly. Both the caterpillar (the yellow, black and white larval form) and adult (orange, black and white) monarch are brightly colored. The larvae eat milkweed, a plant containing toxic steroids known as cardenolides, which the larvae pass on to the adult butterfly. These chemicals make birds throw up if they are ingested. Birds

Valley Voice

learn quickly that those bright caterpillars and butterflies are bad news and avoid them. According to Wikipedia, skunks are aposomatic. Their obvious black and white striping leaves no doubt to the pursuer that they are being warned of a really smelly result if attacked. Have you watched our pine squirrels (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus) run through the trees at mock speed and found it difficult to track them through the shadows? Their upper body is a darker brown than their lighter underside. This is countershading and is found most often in oceanic or forest organisms where they are often seen from underneath towards a lighter background or from overhead towards a darker background. National Geographic’s Encyclopedia explains that the dark and light countershading helps change the way shadows are created. A monotone animal creates a uniform shadow making the animal easier to see. But in an animal with countershading the animal is dark where the sun shines and light where the shadow should be, distorting the shadow and the true shape of the animal, and confusing the predator or prey. Speaking of shadows. My cat Sage flattens herself on the ground while she is stalking the elusive twig twitching from my fingers. Horned lizards do the same thing. Both animals are reducing their shadows, a dead giveaway of their presence. The horned lizard goes one step farther by having “fringed” sides that break up the body contour

October 2017


Licenses, Ammo, Groceries & all your Hunting needs under One Roof

even more. A Wikipedia article on camouflage noted that many butterflies will fold their wings over their backs and align their bodies with the sun so their shadow is a thin line. We have animals that are season fashionistas. The snowshoe hare mentioned above, the white-tailed ptarmigan and long-tailed weasel (Mustela frenata) all have summer and winter clothes. The BioKIDS site at University of Michigan noted that snowshoe hares have two different sets of cells in the skin from which white hairs and brown hairs grow. Nifty!! There are many studies in the last decade examing the effects of changing season lengths on the coat colors of these animals. Shorter winters are leaving white animals on brown landscapes and very vulnerable to predation. Scientists are now looking at these species’ plasticity (the ability to change to environmental stressors) to find if, and how long, it could take for them to adjust their molting schedules. Authors of a paper in PNAS (April 30, 2013) reported that snowshoe hares seemed able to adapt to some extent to changes in earlier spring snow melt dates, but could not change the speed of their autumn molt as it is purely a response to the shortening days.

Downtown Yampa


No Tricks - All Treats!

Keep those eyes open this October!! We’ll see you on the trails! 2570 South Copper Frontage • 970•879•5717

Come by Johnny B. Good’s Steamboat’s Classic Diner


Blue Plate Dinner Special after 4pm


Early Bird Breakfast Special

Every Day 7am until 9am 2 Eggs with Hashbrowns, Your choice of Bacon, Ham or Sausage, and Toast with Jelly. $5.99 No Meat $4.99

Homemade Pie Happy Hour

3 pm - 5 pm Daily - $1.99 a slice

Burger of the Day $8.99 M-F “Best Burger in the Boat”

Open 7am – 9pm Daily 738 Lincoln . Downtown Steamboat Springs Remember, God provides the best camouflage several hours out of every 24.—David M. Shoup


October 2017

Valley Voice

Tales from the Front Desk

The Bloody Leg By Aimee Kimmey

Dinner 5pm Wednesday- Sunday

help. As she walked across the deserted lobby to the television, an unsettling sound reached her ears. From somewhere in the parking lot came a slow, rhythmic... sawing?

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Something was moving out there, but it was blacker than the inside of a cow, she couldn’t make out anything specific. She swallowed hard, suddenly realizing just how alone she was.

Happy Hour 3-6 Monday - Thursday I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Her stomach began to twitter as she listened: saw, saw, saw... Should she investigate? Hell no, she’d seen enough movies to know that searching out the source of weird sounds never ends well. She’d just mind her own business, watch some TV.

- Frank Sinatra

There was an old horror movie on AMC. Perfect.

On the corner of 40 and Hilltop Pkwy 10 to 10 Mon. – Thurs. 10 to Midnight Fri. & Sat. 11:30 to 7:30 Sundays

As she turned back to the front desk her heart leapt into her throat, she let out a yelp! A heavyset man stood in the doorway; he was grimy and scraggy. Blood splattered his filthy orange vest. He held a severed elk leg in each of his big meaty hands.

The Original Local’s Liquor Store


Thurs. - Sat.: 10am - 11pm

Sunday - Wed. 10am - 10pm

The story you are about to read is true... More or less. Tuesday. 7:48 pm. Front desk. With schools back in session, and ski season not yet upon us, you’d expect fall to be a quiet time at the hotel. But as the temperature drops and the leaves turn vibrant gold and orange, hunting season kicks in. Every few weeks, a new season brings a fresh round of eager hunters to stalk their prey. Whether you hit the woods with only what your horse can carry, or a full RV of comforts, eventually the lure of a soft bed and a hot shower beckons even the most hardened outdoorsman. Local hotels are far from empty this time of year. That particular Tuesday afternoon had been a brisk one. But as the sun sank behind the mountains, the guests had disappeared into their rooms. The front desk clerk sat alone in the lobby. With the sun setting earlier and earlier every night, the complete darkness at this hour was strange. It felt so much later than it actually was.

Beer of the Month:

Ska Brewing

An eerie quiet had settled on the lobby. It was starting to make the front desk clerk jumpy. Maybe some TV would

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Screams from the TV danced around her ears, her heart slammed against her rib cage as if trying to escape. Her own breathing sounded ragged in her ears. Her mind raced; should she run? Where could she go? If she screamed, would anybody come? Blood dripped steadily from each leg, pooling on the floor. “Y’all got a place I can store these?” The clerk gaped at him. “What?!” “We caught an elk today. The fridge in our room isn’t big enough, you got a deep freeze or something?” The gore began to creep out along the clean tile. Fury was quickly replacing her terror. “I’ve got a garbage bag, AND a mop you can clean my floor with!” The guy smiled sheepishly, “Oh! Sure, yeah of course!” She turned to fetch the bag. Once the dismembered legs were securely taped inside an industrial plastic bag and stowed in the full-sized staff fridge, the clerk brought out the mop bucket. While the guy diligently swabbed up the blood from the lobby floor, the clerk turned back to the TV. Maybe there was a nice musical on, or some cheery cartoons...

Valley Voice

October 2017


Great Prices,

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THE YAMPA-WHITEGreen Services & Parts GREEN (YWG) RIVER River NesteBasin Auto Glass offersYampa expert windshield, auto glass and mirror repairs and replacements. Call today for your FREE estimate970-879-2725 on any service River BASIN ROUNDTABLE Monday - Friday Basin was established in 2005 Moffat 8 am - 4 pm when the Colorado Craig Saturdays by appt. Find us on Routt • Contact Us General Assembly passed Steamboat• Springs the Colorado Water Act for the 21st Century. Service area: It is one of nine Meeker water policy • Neste Auto Glass serve the Steamboatgrassroots River TheWhite certified technicians of Springs area. 3162 Elk River Road, roundtables throughout Rio Blanco Basin Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 Colorado working to develop locally-driven, Phone: collaborative solutions to water supply challenges. Neste Auto Glass offers expert windshield, auto glass and mirror repairs and replacements. 970-879-2725 Call today for your FREE estimate on any service! Our Roundtable continues THE YAMPA-WHITE-GREEN (YWG) RIVER BASIN FACTS to advance plans capable of meeting the water The YWG Basin covers roughly 10,500 square miles. needs for in-basin use, Address: downstream compact Elevations range from 12,200 feet to 5,100 feet. requirements and transVaried landscapes: Neste Auto Glass from wet, high-mountain elevations, sagebrush basin agreements. steppes & desert canyons. 3162The ElkYampa RiverRiver Road, P.O. Box 772498 - largest tributary to the Green River with an Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 average annual flow of 1.3 million-acre feet. 970-879-2725 The White River - average annual flow of 500,000 million-acre feet Yampa-White-Green Basin Roundtable to the Green River. Elk












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The Green River - average annual flow of 4.4 million-acre feet to the Email: Colorado River. Average usage of YWG water is currently 282,000 acre-feet per year. Demand is expected to increase to 361,000 acre-feet per year by 2050. YWG Basin is relatively undeveloped and has limited storage compared to other basins in Colorado. Hours:

Monday - Friday: 8:00am - 4:00pm Map provided by:

The Basin has a rich agriculture heritage, a strong tourist economy, Monday - Friday:assets, 8:00am 4:00pm environmental vast -natural landscapes and deep deposits of fossil fuels. All interests recognize the importance of water.

Make your October happy and have a safe and legal Halloween!

The average price of a DUI has gone up to $13,530 in Colorado

3162 Elk River Road, P.O. Box 772498 Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Driving after drinking on Halloween is not the way to have fun. Accidents will occur at any time with poor judgement under the influence of alcohol. No matter how scary you are! Stay safe and have fun. I don’t oppose hunting in any way, shape or form. If that’s what you enjoy doing, you are free to do it.—Jesse Ventura


October 2017

Valley Voice

Steamboat Stories

Tale of A Town - Part III: Fruition By John Whittum

A hundred years after the town had been founded, and the seeds for personal improvement and better education had been planted, a long-simmering debate erupted over what was best for the continually expanding community. Both the size and quality of the town’s library, as well as the size of the municipality itself, became matters of fierce public discussion. Proponents of a huge addition to the library had undertaken a nation-wide research to determine what educational components should be included in what they hoped would become a state-of-the-art facility in the now wealthy and prosperous town. Since the library had already witnessed several remodels and one major enlargement in the thirty years after being moved to its present site, the opponents of another mill levy increase on property began to agitate for denial. These protesters questioned the very legitimacy of a public facility spending large sums to expand book circulation at a time when the entire nation seemed to be digitalizing every source of information. Arguing that computers would easily replace the need for hard copies of printed material, they presented a negative view of the costly project.

years later a similar question arose about what should come next in the town’s best interest. Not long after the library’s completion, the city government, having aligned itself with the real estate industry, determined to double the city’s size. For several years the city’s planning staff had been directed to accommodate the developers’ requests, and most top city officials had approved the purchase of a three-and-a-half-square mile tract of open land. But a group of private citizens then circulated a petition to require that such an annexation be approved by the town’s electorate. Receiving sufficient signatures to be placed on the ballot, the citizens scored an overwhelming victory – even larger than the margin for the library’s addition. The developers left town the next day, and the city officials were embarrassed to have pushed so hard for a decidedly unpopular issue. In defeating the city’s huge expansion plan, the townspeople once again demonstrated they could decisively stand up to the real estate interests. Nurtured by a century-long, educated, enlightened element, the community thus came to modify some excesses of a random commercial expansion devoid of public welfare.

In addition to other occurrences, the main auditorium came to be used daily and nightly for business and training meetings, musical recitals, parties, concerts, public events, and private weddings.. New creative, passionate community members enthusiastically joined former staff members, as employment at this, the town’s jewel, became a privilege and an honor. Even teenagers, often the most disaffected social age group in any town, voted their lounging section to be the best hangout spot in the city. Prior to the gigantic expansion, such a welcoming place did not exist, as all alternative congregating areas required monetary purchases. The new library became the “last free place in town.” One of its published mantras proudly advertised: “Came for the skiing, Stayed for the library.” Few people, even among its most ardent advocates, probably ever imagined it would come to serve so many different needs and functions. Although the city government and a majority of the town’s populace approved the library’s massive addition, a few

But funding for the bond issue was assured by citizen vote, and sometime after a magnificent structure was completed, its former adversaries apologized, dubbing it “the town’s living room,” They then acknowledged it accommodated many civic and private services: the use of free internet terminals (with assistance for those unfamiliar with electronic technology), comfortable reading and lounging areas for different age groups, a variety of meeting rooms frequently booked for multiple uses, and all beautifully designed and integrated with the older building, its newest addition proudly placed upon the bank of the town’s heartbeat - its river.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

October 2017


Milner Mall Rethink



Restore Your World

Sign up for Trash and Recycling Service!

Up to 50% off at the Milner Mall FREE Recycle Drop Off Receive 1 Month of FREE Trash Service


Optional Donations ONLY to Charities and Worthy Causes!

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RATED SF Scary Fun

Insert photos by: Tim Murphy

813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

A clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.—W.C. Fields


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Buff Pass Fish Creek Res. Fish Creek Falls

Map Disclaimer

© 2017 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the artist. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

Map under construction

Dry Lake

Spring Creek Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Burgess Creek

Rollingstone Golf Club

Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Steamboat Blvd.

Fish Creek

Amethyst Drive


Tamarack Drive Amethyst Drive

Hill Top Parkway


RCR 36

Anglers Drive


Ski Time Square

E. Maple Street


Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Strawberry Hot Springs Missouri Ave.

Maple Street


Old Town Hot Springs Lincoln Avenue


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Emerald Park Botanic Gardens




Ice Rink

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Merrit Street

Pahwintah St.


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Core Trail Weiss Park



Crawford Ave.


CMC (College)


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Steamboat Cemetery

Emerald Mountain


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Howelsen Hill BMX Track

Ski Jumps

13 Blackmere Drive

Fart Park Depot Art Center

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Yampa River

RCR 22

Fetcher Park

RCR 14

RCR 14f


Stagecoach Res.


Steamboat Cemetery

RCR 35 Copper Ridge Animal Shelter Shield Drive


Elk River Road Downhill Drive


Shield Drive

RCR 41 Bob Adams Airport Yampa River

RCR 33

Steamboat Golf Club




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4th Street

1 Lincoln Ave.

Wild Hogg Dr.


3rd Street

Grant Ave.


2nd Street

District 1 Road & Bridge

2 1st Street

RCR 27

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Colfax Street

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Clifton Ave.

Roselawn Ave.

Tethune Ave.


Oak Creek

F RCR 17

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2nd Street


Maps Disclaimer

© 2016 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the artist. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracyof this map.

1st Street


Moffat Ave.

Maps under construction

Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave, 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

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Rich Ave.


3rd Street

3rd Street


8 Lincoln Street





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Valley Voice

SUNDAY OCTOBER 1 Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Salsa Lessons) FREE. Every Sunday in October MONDAY OCTOBER 2 Open Mic Night Hosted By Pat Waters 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. Every Monday in October TUESDAY OCTOBER 3 History Happy Hour – “Brooklyn: Steamboat’s Red Light District” with Author and Hayden Heritage Center Curator, Laurel Watson 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewery, 2875 Elk River Rd. FREE. Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons) FREE. Every Tuesday in October (Except Halloween) WEDNSDAY OCTOBER 4 Author: Ian Neligh – “GOLD! Madness, Murder and Mayhem in the Colorado Rockies” 6:00PM @ Off The Beaten Path Film: “Obit” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Karaoke Night & Contest 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. Every Wednesday in October THURSDAY OCTOBER 5 Film: “Chasing Trane” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE

October 2017


Calendar of Events Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot FREE. Every Thursday in October

To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month. MONDAY OCTOBER 9


DJ Steezy Nicks & Ladies Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. Every Thursday in October (Except 10/12)

Film: “Almost Sunrise” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events



Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30-10:45AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat, 701 Yampa St. Every Friday In October Call/text Patty Zimmer 970-846-5608. zimmer@

Film: “Dying To Know” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Community Yoga Practice Janet Stone’s “Exhale and Unwind,” bring your own mat and props 10:00AM @ Library Hall. FREE

Behind-the-Scenes Tours of Collections 11:00AM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Every Other Friday in October Contact for info. Autumn Art Show Reception 5–7PM @ S teamboat Art Depot FREE. First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. SATURDAY OCTOBER 7 4th Annual Echoes of the Past Historic Hayden Cemetery Tour Tickets: $25/ adult nonmember; $20/ museum members; $10 / child under 18 5:00PM @ Haven Community Room www.haydenheritagecenter. org Bond & Bentley 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

THURSDAY OCTOBER 12 WinterWonderGrass Announce Party @ Schmiggity’s 6PM – WWG All-Stars, 10PM Grant Farm FREE. FRIDAY OCTOBER 13 Super Fun Steamboat Show 8PM @ The Chief Theater Details to Come. www.

Yampatika’s Fall Festival NOON @ Legacy Ranch FREE. Karla Bonoff 7PM @ The Chief Theater $35. MONDAY OCTOBER 16 Film: “Motherland” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE TUESDAY OCTOBER 17

Walk-ins are welcome from 3:30 – 5:30 p.m. as space permits.

6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE


Johnny O Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Steamboat Springs Arts Council Fall Mixer with an appearance by Eleanor Bliss 5–7PM @ Steamboat Art Depot. FREE. The Bust Of Steamboat 6:00PM @ Three Peaks Grill. $40 www.thebustofsteamboat. org Walker 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SATURDAY OCTOBER 21 Worried Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com WED. OCTOBER 25

Missed The Boat 10PM @ Schmiggity’s $5.

Wild Films: Two from the Sea, including “Operation Whale” & “Soul of the Vermillion Sea” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE

Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “Glory,” Bulgarian with English subtitles 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE




Chief Theater Fundraiser 10:00AM-2:00PM @ Ace Hardware

Poetry Slam 6:00PM @ Off The Beaten Path FREE.

Perry-Mansfield Performing Arts School & Camp: A History of Art in Nature With Author Dagny McKinley 3:00PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum FREE.

Documentary Film for ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT: “Faces in the Oil Patch” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE

Behind-the-Scenes Tours of Collections 3:00PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum

John Denver Tribute with Cowboy Brad 7PM @ The Chief Theater $15. Speak Of The Devil 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE.


FRIDAY OCTOBER 27 Yoga Talk at the Library: An Evening with Swami Mahesh “Tantra Yoga: The Path of Self-Actualization”

SATURDAY OCTOBER 28 Magic Beans 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com MONDAY OCTOBER 30 ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT book club discussions of Alexandra Fuller’s The Legend of Colton H. Bryant NOON @ Library Conference Room. FREE events TUESDAY OCTOBER 31 Halloween Hootenanny (All of your favorite local musicians) 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com WED. NOVEMBER 1 ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT book club discussions of Alexandra Fuller’s The Legend of Colton H. Bryant 5:30PM @ Library Conference Room. FREE events THURSDAY NOVEMBER 2 ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT book club discussions of Alexandra Fuller’s The Legend of Colton H. Bryant 5:30PM @ Library Conference Room. FREE events

Steamboat Community Blood Drive 12:30-6:00PM @ At Yampa Valley Medical Center (1024 Central Park Drive) To schedule an appointment please call Bonfils Appointment Center at 1-800-365-0006 option 2 Or sign up online at www.

I don’t wait for the calendar to figure out when I should live life. - Gene Simmons


October 2017

Valley Voice

HappyHours Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily

McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays

O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily

The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Pit on 5th 2:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily

Cantina Mexican Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily

Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs., Fri.,Sat.

Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Colorado High 5 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday

Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily

First Friday Artwalk October 6, 2017 5 pm - 8 pm All over downtown ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave 970.439.8196

W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave., 970.846.1783

JACE ROMICK GALLERY 813 Lincoln Ave. inside The Chief Theater 970.846.8377

WILD HORSE GALLERY 802 Lincoln Ave., 879-5515

MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822


PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St 970.879.2787 October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Presenting a sneak preview of the artwork for the 16th annual Bust of Steamboat. Artwork will be auctioned October 20. STEAMBOAT ART MUSEUM 807 Lincoln Ave., 970.870.1755 STEAMBOAT SPRINGS ARTS COUNCIL AT THE DEPOT 1001 13th St. 970.879.9008 “Autumn Art”-Members exhibit painting, sculpture, photography, mixed media, printmaking and more! “Autumn Art” whose ages vary from 14 to 80 plus. Something for everyone.

HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave 970.879.1919 STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave 941.321.2809 The Haunted Deep : [Mermaid Monsters] YBC’s October Group Show @ Steamboat Smokehouse. This show features collaborative works inspired from a Pinterest Board and the YBC immersive theater haunted house that will take place at the Chief on Halloween. URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave 970.879.9169 Local artist Tracy Riser presents a collection of paintings and drawings. Mediums include oil, acrylic, charcoal, colored pencil and metal hardware.


Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m. Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily: Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Health Insurance PSA

What is Medicare Part D Annual Open Enrollment? By Betsy Packer

Making sense of Medicare, the government-run health insurance for people who are over 65 and those who have been on disability for 24 months isn’t easy, but the State Health Insurance Program (SHIP) can help. Locally the SHIP program is coordinated by Betsy Packer who works from a grant provided by the Area Agency on Aging of Northwest Colorado. SHIP offers free and confidential counseling to anyone with questions about Medicare. Every year, people with Medicare, have a chance to review and change their Part D prescription drug plan. This Open Enrollment runs from October 15 – December 7, 2017. Part D plans cover the prescriptions we pick up at the pharmacy or mail order. It is important to look beyond the monthly premium. Each plan has certain drugs on their formulary. The web site takes prescription information and pharmacy choices then matches’ information with the most affordable plan. Each year plans can change.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Plans can drop prescriptions from their formulary, which can cause additional charges to beneficiaries. Each year during Open Enrollment people with Medicare should look carefully at their prescriptions and if they are covered for the following year. Many plans are adopting a network pharmacy benefit, which creates in network and out of network costs. Sometimes this causes a certain prescriptions to cost more at one pharmacy than another. Sometimes a prescription is covered but there may be a restriction like prior authorization or a quantity limit. Lack of attention on your part can cost you. Premiums and prescription cost change, so be sure to call 970819-6401 and schedule your local SHIP counselors or attend an Open Enrollment Session every Thursday during open enrollment.

October 2017 Schmac and Cheese

Waker 10 pm FREE (Rock) Valley Voice 1: Worried Men ?? Waiting to confirm


Johnny O Band 10 pm Free (Blues/Rock) OPEN - Saturday 4pm-2am 8: Magic Beans 10 pm (Space Funk / Groove Grass /Monday Ameritronica) Halloween Hootenanny 10 pm FREE (All of your favorite local musicians)

821 Lincoln Ave -

can you change to:

Night 7 pm n Mic Night 9 pm Step Tuesday 7 pm Karaoke Night & Contest 9 pm Steezy Nicks & Ladies Night 9 pm

The V, Inc

924 Lincoln Ave (970) 734-4357

Tuesday Night Pool League Wednesday Night Dart League Thursday Night Open Pool Tournament

Photo by Cully Kistler

Percentage of all proceeds goes to benefit local veterans

Happy Hour Specials 4 - 6 & 10 -12

eaf ) m - Sauce /6: SugarL Friday 10 E (Feel Good CO Ja E 10 pm FR Bentley : Bond & lues Jam Band) /7 0 1 y a unk B Saturd EE (Soul F 10 pm FR rGrass terWonde tars in W : 2 /1 ll S 10 Thursday Party 6 pm WWG A ic Americana) e m c s n o u (C o E RE Ann nt Farm F 10 pm Gra The Boat 3: Missed Grass) /1 0 1 y a d Fri rty Cover (Pa 10 pm $5 e Devil peak of th Sabbath Tribute) S : 4 /1 0 1 Saturday E (Heavy Metal/Black E 10 pm FR er /20: Wak Friday 10 E (Rock) E 10 pm FR d Men 1: Worrie ad to Metal) /2 0 1 y a l De Saturd EE (Greatfu 10 pm FR Band Johnny O : 7 /2 0 1 y ock) Frida e (Blues/R re F m p 10 Beans a) 8: Magic Grass / Ameritronic /2 0 1 y a e rd v o ro Satu G / k ace Fun 10 pm (Sp anny n Hooten al musicians) e e w o ll a 0/31: H rite loc Sunday 1 E (All of your favo E R F 10 pm

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7 pm

10 pm 7 pm 9 pm 9 pm


Oh Schmiggity!

Steamboat's ONLYHour Happy Hour fromDaily 7-9 pm Schmappy 7-9 1/2 Off the entire bar;


$3 1/2 pound 100% Angus Beef Hot Dogs

Tickets online at or at All That. Art, freedom and creativity will change society faster than politics. - Victor Pinchuk


October 2017

Valley Voice

The Paw Print



The Black Cat A Macabre Tale of Woe and Friendship By Debora Black “This is certainly a turn of events,” the writer said, petting the cat. The cat mewed and wound about the writer’s ankles. “You’ll just have to live with us now.”

Mon.- Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. 11-3

Be Local & Eat Local! Amazing baked goodies, quiche, breakfast burritos, sausage rolls, plus great coffee and tea.

198 East Lincoln Ave. Hayden, Colorado 970-276-4250


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Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….

970-871-8500 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic……… *12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons

Arthur C. Clarke


Hayden Branch

101 N. 6th Street


750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail:

The writer sat at her desk tapping intensely at her keyboard. Then, having reached an impasse, she went to the kitchen to attend to less provoking things. As she was loading the dishes into the dishwasher and passing clothes from the washing machine to the dryer, she began to enjoy the fall air drifting through the open window, and her agitation dissipated. She was elbows deep in sudsy water scrubbing a heavy pan, when she glanced up to find the startling figure of a black cat sitting in the window, observing her. “Meow,” he said. And to that, the writer’s three dogs leapt up barking from all corners of the condo, and the little guy ran for his life before the writer could make acquaintance. A few days later, the cat appeared again. “Well hello, Sweetheart,” the writer exclaimed, walking toward the window. But again, this tipped-off the dogs, and up they scrambled in another fit of ferocious barking, and the cat fled. In the mornings that followed, the writer, who had embarked upon the creation of an elaborate novel of great proportion and sublime artistic measure, would come again to that same bleak and frustrating impasse and thus return to the kitchen and the laundry, and this continued to conjure the cat. Mindful of the dogs, the writer would sneak over to the window and greet the cat in whispers. He was a beguiling chap with large, yellow eyes and a shimmering coat. His upper teeth protruded in such a way that his fangs were permanently exposed and hung white and glistening over his lower lip. How adorable, she thought. But always one or another of the dogs would notice her talking at the window and would come to investigate and chase the cat away. The cat, it turned out, belonged to the writer’s new neighbor who, in the middle of a stormy night, secretly loaded his belongings in his truck and disappeared. The writer discovered this when the cat appeared at the window and cried inconsolably. The dogs went nuts and the writer went outside to calm the cat. At that point, the cat ran up the stairs and cried and cried until the writer followed. There she found the condo door wide open and all the rooms and cupboards emptied.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

The cat seemed delighted with the new arrangement and turned out to be a clever fellow. To the writer’s relief, the cat knew exactly what to do with the litter box that she bought for him. And when she removed the screens from the kitchen and bedroom windows, the cat obliged and came and went at his pleasure. Peculiarly, and much to the writer’s astonishment, she would sometimes spot the cat toying with the dogs. He would sit atop the bar stool and when one of the dogs walked by, he would lower his paw—claws arched—and swat at their backs. The dogs growled and snapped in retaliation, and although the cat surrendered, the writer swore that black cat was snickering. He also began following the dogs and the writer as they made their walking rounds. The cat would slither and creep from bush to bush, mostly undetected. He would run, in graceful, buoyant bounds, across the grass and impale himself halfway up the trunk of a tree. He would hang there by his piercing claws, look left and right, then drop to the turf and run for new cover. The cat’s deft moves evoked an enormous amount of admiration from the writer, but the dogs merely tolerated his shenanigans, and made it clear that they were the leaders of the pack. Early one grey October morning, the writer sat in a chair editing her manuscript and looking out the glass doors. Coffee bubbled in the percolator. Brittle leaves blew by. The black cat strolled the patio. As the writer watched, it became apparent that the cat was doing something unusual. She went to inspect. “Oh my God, Kitty! No, no,” the writer scolded. Scared by the writer rushing into the scene, the cat dropped the vole, and the writer grabbed the cat and took him inside. The vole lay there very still, its soft body, wet with blood. But the writer hoped, and stood watching over the little rodent, willing it to perk up. Suddenly, in a great sweep of feathers, a sharp-beaked raven swooped down from the trees, snatched the vole, and flew away with the poor thing clutched in its talons. The writer—prone to the sensitivities that befall those of artistic disposition—screamed. “Oh no,” she said, Oh no,” and she crumbled, pale and wilting, into the chair. After some minutes, she quietly turned to the cat to explain, “I can’t take this much death before I even have a cup of coffee.” But the cat only sat licking his paw, completely undaunted. The writer wished this were the end of the story. But in the coming weeks, the dogs and the writer continued to find the bloody bits of new voles scattered about the lawn. It quickly happened that when the writer slid open the patio door, the dogs would rush and push to get outside and begin tracking the cat’s scent. On the occasions when one of the dogs would discover and gobble down another victim, the cat sat watching from his silent perch. During all of this, the writer noted that the dogs ceased to ignore the cat. They even let him curl up on their beds. Apparently they had determined the cat to be far more beneficial than they had, at first, imagined.

Valley Voice

October 2017

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

You Have Until Halloween to Find a Date!


It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D. Let’s get crackin’

I’m just gonna lay this one out here for you – If you do not have a solid date/relationship by Halloween, the percentages in your favor of finding someone and both of you having the time to see each other drop significantly every week until January 2. Now I’ve spoken about this before, but that was years ago and my research has strengthened. Here’s the truth – Dating through the holidays is rough for anyone. But dating someone new is especially challenging. We all want to be at our best so our “special friend” thinks we are the correct decision in their minds. Now add to that the parties that you both get invited to. Work parties, friend parties. In both of these situations you are being observed as having made a decision and that person standing next to you is how they are judging you. It doesn’t even matter if you are the guest or the one who brings the guest. Our wonderful friends and co-workers are hugely fun and great and also judgmental. That makes for pressure, whether you like it or not. Some people can handle the pressure with grace and poise. Others, not so much. So, good luck with that! Now let’s talk about scheduling. This can easily be make or break frustration for anyone. If both sides of the date are even the slightest uptight type, the tension and pressure will grow and words might fly from seemingly nowhere. “Well I’m trying to make it work ROGER!” might come out of your little angel, along with a little bit of spittle from her quivering lip. I’m telling you, tensions build and this is only for part of October and the first half of November.

By Cully Kistler

Thanksgiving, best holiday out of the year. It celebrates food, family and friendship. My great friends Kelly and Amanda have taken in me in as a holiday orphan more years then I should count. I love them and love Thanksgiving. At the same time, I’ve never brought a date to one of their dinners over the years. Either didn’t have one to consider or scheduling didn’t let us even think about trying to make it happen. My story is universal as I have discovered from countless confirmations from daters. And yes, they love Kelly and Amanda too. So if you are really connected to a wonderful person by the Monday before Thanksgiving, you are a happy person and will enjoy a great meal sitting next to them. If not, enjoy being the odd-person-out at a table somewhere (wear your relaxed fit jeans). On to December and more party opportunities. Again, if you are comfortably dating someone and they invite you to join them for a soirée, by all means weigh the pros and cons of going. Definitely go if you have time and really want to be with them at fun parties. You do NOT have to go, though. As your Dating Advice Coach, I’m telling you flat out – YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO A HOLIDAY PARTY WITH YOUR RECENTLY ACCQUIRED DATE. But also realize you get huge dating points if you go. HA! All this information is based on the time honored tradition of gathering stories from folks who are attempting to date while being busy, fun and popular with a side order of obligation. The hardest part of the holidays is scheduling everything that happens on select weekends. SO, Git Crackin’ on yer Happiness OR settle in for being without a regular date until Jan 2. Be honest with yourself and you’ll be fine.

Something new – Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide QUICK TIPS *Yes you CAN talk about your EX on a date. Use short sentences, no detailed information and change the subject as soon as possible. *Online photos – Never use pics of you with someone more attractive then yourself. Limit the total to 12. Guys, no shirtless photos. Ladies, no more than two “glam” pics. Everyone, no pics of you from 3 years ago. *First date-Men – Wear a shirt with a collar. *First date-Women – Back off on the perfume. *Second date – Means there is some romance in the air. Don’t just agree to a second date because they were nice and you’ll get a free meal out of it. *Texting - As we all know, you are hilarious. However, in the past your jokes fell flat and got you into trouble. Learn a frickin’ lesson and stop trying to be funny. You are a bad writer, perform your jokes live. *Men, NO DICK PICS – Never send one. EVER. Never to someone who didn’t ask. Never to someone you are dating. Never to someone you are in love with. The interwebs are written in pen. NEVER. NEVER. *Women, Demand Dick Pics – If you go to a restaurant, the menu would have pictures of what is about to go into your body, right? Same principle. *Men, NO DICK PICS – You are so easily tricked aren’t you? DON’T DO IT.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column. Next month – Having sex outdoors – The best parts of the forest to do it in, how to avoid unexplainable rashes later on and the local Jr High science class schedule for nature walks. Kids and cameras are the worst.

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October 2017

Valley Voice

Routt County Disasters

Aliens and Acid Trips By Lyn Wheaton

cardboard cylinders from toilet paper rolls, tampons for the carburetor effect, and any other contrivance that promised to provide the best high. Strawberry said the apple cooled the smoke and gave it a nice flavor. I walked along the parched grass, weaving through packs of people trying not to step on their beach towel encampments. My feet took on a light feeling and propelled me upward. I was bouncing, a million feet above the crowd, at times walking on the world’s tallest stilts. The ground acted like a trampoline and unrestrained buoyancy allowed me to launch above the massive gathering with each step. That’s all I remember of the trip. It was unlike my other experiences with hallucinogens. This time I did not feel trapped by the drug with my sanity hinging on the mercy of its half-life. The time it took to work itself out of my system always took way too long, and permanent psychosis was a paramount concern. There were two kids in town that never regained sanity after having bad trips. One was pushing empty grocery carts around at the Grand Union, and the other walked up and down the block, plucking nonexistent drugs out of the perfectly tended grass. I stood on the boardwalk looking out at the horizon and that’s when I saw them, or… thought I saw them. The glowing almond-shaped eyes. They always have illuminated eyes in heads way too large for their slight bodies. I squinted and tried to shake it off like a dog, but when I looked up again, there were more of them. They were coming towards me. I could hear them chattering. These people didn’t look right. Not that they didn’t look right exactly – just not like us. Not that we look right, we probably don’t. In fact, I wonder what they thought of me, dressed like a hooker, flaunting a long cigarette holder and brightly painted lips? On the way out the door, my mother laughed and told me I looked like a streetwalker. Swiftly moving off the boardwalk onto the pavement, I tried to act natural and pretend not to notice their odd looks. They followed. Because they were different, I stayed on my side of the street and they stayed on theirs. I made eye contact and held the gaze so as not to give up my power. They started to cross the street. I wasn’t sure what to expect. They were making noises that sounded like the teacher in Charlie Brown. I couldn’t make out words. I’d experienced this sort of thing before. I just wasn’t sure if it was really happening or another hallucination. I never liked acid. I did it three times on purpose that I can remember, and once when I accidentally dosed myself at the Rolling Stones concert in 1981. I confused my screwdriver with one from the “electric” batch my friends had mixed. After chugging the spiked screwdriver, I set off on a long trek to find the porta-potties. Not long into the adventure, I ran into an old hippie named Strawberry and stopped to have a hit of weed. He passed me the bowl he had constructed from an apple. People crafted pipes out of everything imaginable; beer cans,

Back in the early 1970’s, acid was all the rage. So when a co-worker offered me a harmless looking purple microdot one evening while working at a local restaurant, I said, “Sure, why not?” The restaurant got busy and I wove my way around the dining room, clearing dishes from tables and carrying bus tubs into the kitchen. As soon as I walked through the double doors, the line cook yelled to me: “Bar food is up. Pick up! Pickup!” With efficiency and haste, I grabbed a tray walked to the line and stacked the plates. The Stadium was a pub style restaurant owned by Alex Webster and two other local men. The menu featured gourmet burgers of every variety, Reuben sandwiches, crocks of onion soup, and fried accompaniments. I grabbed a fried mushroom off one of the plates and dipped it in horseradish sauce. These were usually my favorite snack, but I found it hard to chew the rubbery substance and spit it into the garbage. Carrying the tray above my head, I pushed open the swinging kitchen door and started out into the dining room. “Excuse me, excuse me?’” I heard someone say. I glanced around to see who was flagging me down. Most of the customers knew me but nobody was even looking my way. I looked over at the Judge, deep in conversation with his wife and then to the elderly couple that always gave me a separate tip. They were quietly eating their meal. I checked with them, “Did you need anything?” I asked. They took a minute to put down their forks, finish chewing, and then responded, “No dear, we’re just fine. We’ll let you know if we need anything.” Their voices sounded like they were in an echo chamber or entered my ears and became encased in my head – vibrat-

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

ing and bouncing around from one side of my skull to the other. I think I said OK, and moved on. “Excuse me, excuse me?” There it was again – the voice. I scanned the dining room once more and then I saw it right there on the tray … French fries with long noses and cartoonish mouths, standing up on the plate. They all looked like Groucho Marks and were chattering amongst themselves in gibberish. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then the hamburger started to come to life, eyeballs formed on the top of the bun, and when they gazed up at me, I freaked out. I turned around and ran back into the kitchen, dropped the tray onto the conveyor belt, and screamed! “Oh God! Get them away from me.” My friend, Justin, stopped loading the dishes and came around to calm me. It was too late. The head chef saw the tray of food I tossed and yelled at me. “This is gonna come out of your paycheck! What’s the matter with you? We’re busy as shit and now we have to cook that again!” He stopped yelling at me for a second and screamed over to Kenny, the line cook: “Fire two bacon cheeseburgers with fries and rush it! Blondie just chucked a tray of food.” I didn’t back down. I was in a panic. “Look! Look at this food! What’d you expect me to do?” I pointed to the French fries, but Justin pulled the power sprayer from the hook and rinsed off the plates. I watched with horror as the soggy potato sticks crumbled and swirled down the drain. I gasped. Wide-eyed, all pupils, and hyper-aware, I shook off a body rush and said, “Murder!” Justin looked at me as if to say mellow out and then ushered me toward the basement. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kenny snickering at me. He was a mean cuss and I didn’t like the look on his face one bit. I ran down the steps, skipping two, and sometimes three, at a time. Justin grabbed a bottle of Mateus, shoved it underneath the full bag in the garbage can, and we carried it outside. I leaned against the dumpster, like a bum, and chugged the whole bottle of wine in a couple gulps. Grabbing the ground with my hands, like an ape, I ran away. I pulled at the grass with every step, using my hands for traction. Justin found me cowering under a cluster of bushes and told me to stay there until I came down. Eventually, the stuff wore off but it felt like forever. I swore I’d never do LSD again, and didn’t until that incident at the Rolling Stones. I sat down on the boardwalk bench and stuck a cigarette into the end of the long holder. I’m glad my mother thought I looked like a streetwalker – that’s what I was supposed to be. I dressed up every year as a prostitute. Was it some undiscovered yearning? No. I’m pretty sure it was just laziness when it came to putting a costume together, and being a hooker allowed me to smoke openly all night. I never really liked Halloween, for the same reason I never liked tripping. I don’t like fake stuff or fantasy – I don’t need to test the tenuous rationality of my epistemology. There’s enough weirdness in the world, hell, there’s enough inside my head to keep me occupied for at least three more lives. I looked around for the group of aliens, hoping they were just trick-or-treaters and not a flashback, or worse, the result of some spiked cider I may have inadvertently picked up along the way.

Valley Voice

October 2017

The Wandering Rose


Underground She dipped her toe in the turquoise waters of the Sulphur spring. Bubbles rose up around her foot as she felt around for the familiar hole. The earth felt like sludge as she balanced on a rock, feeling, feeling, feeling until she finally found the space where the earth opened up. She felt her big toe go through, then her foot. She let go of the rock, put her arms up over her head and let her body be sucked down under the ground. She disappeared. Below ground, a waterfall flowed deep, deep down into the earth. The tight tunnel eventually opened up as Audrey Rose was deposited in an oasis of turquoise and indigo waters. A faint sheen of glitter covered her body, wove into her hair. The world sparkled around her. She had been here before - many times before. She had been in every spring in Steamboat, knew all of their secrets, but the Sulphur spring was the only one that led to another world, a world that no other human had ever tread. This was a world where no past, no present and no future existed. There was no history, there were no recorded stories here. It simply was as it was at that exact moment in time. Audrey Rose floated in the waters for a short while. She felt the water flowing out below her but she knew any further down and she might not be able to get out again, she might simply disappear inside the womb of the world. Eventually she got out, stripped out of her clothes and lay


The Rafters them to dry. From the open oasis, tunnels led in different directions. They had all been formed by streams and springs, most of which had long since dried up. There was a small tunnel that opened up into various caverns. Within the caves there was a luminescent glow. Audrey Rose had searched and searched but had never been able to find the source of the light. The light cast no shadows and seemed to be coming from everywhere. Finally, she entered her favorite cavern, the one lined with massive gypsum crystals that jutted up from the earth and down from the earth ceiling. The cavern was as tall as a hundred-year-old pine and longer than West Lincoln Park. She felt like she was in an ice castle, yet the temperature made her sweat. It was in this paradox that she liked to come and be. The only noise in her cavern was the soft drip, drip of water, the drip, drip of sweat falling from her body. And here, she saw within the crystals a glowing light, the same light she knew existed in all humans. In that light, she saw life beyond her own. What had formed here had taken thousands, if not millions of years. In the span of the life of the crystals she was nothing. She would not be remembered by them. Destruction would not be remembered down here, celebration, accomplishment, none of those words mean anything. Legacy was nothing, words were nothing, actions meant nothing. In here anything could happen and it would still mean nothing. The only concrete change she could make would be utter destruction and collapse of the caves, or to let the outside world in. She would do neither. She felt she found the caves the same way she had once found a four-leaf clover as a child. She searched and searched all summer long, every time she left her mother’s house she kept her head down, looking, looking and then as if by magic, a patch appeared right around the corner from her house. An entire patch of fourleaf clovers. She had taken just one and pressed it into a journal that she still had. This cave was her magic, this cave was her reminder that she was nothing but could be anything. This was one reality.

By Marian Tolles

Worry hovers round me like a gnat In the night becoming a rat gnawing at the edge of sleep, with hordes of unrelated worries crowding in behind distorted out of all proportion by the witching hour. A clock chimes away the hours til dawn when blessed routine keeps the demons at bay, though beneath the cloak of normalcy pangs of apprehension grip my chest. At last the telephone rings. “Hi Mom, we’re home, safe and sound.” Safe and sound. Sven, age three, has not after all been swept away In the swift springs currents swelling the mighty Colorado. Relief floods my bones, Worries dance away like butterflies.

“$900K? That’s the way to do it. Turn up the heat!” If God dropped acid, would he see people? - Stephen Wright


October 2017

Valley Voice

A Closer Look

Toxins: Biology versus Hysteria By Monica Yager

Of all the concerns we have about our health, should toxins be one of them? The biological definition of a toxin is “a substance that is produced by one organism and is harmful to others.” So, in that regard, yes, we should be concerned about toxins if we are exposed to a toxin that causes harmful, life-threatening symptoms. Botulinum, tetanus, diphtheria, known toxins that come from bacteria, can be deadly to humans.

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But what to make about the toxins the alternative health industry claims come from stress, modern living, and too much fun, as in the partying kind. These toxins are claimed to cause a number of vague and common symptoms, from being tired to sneezing, but so far there is no scientific evidence to suggest that any symptoms can be attributed to toxins, or even that these toxins actually occur in the human body. To take this slightly further, would humans still exist if our bodies were subject to adverse symptoms caused by something as universal as stress or modern living? In other words, haven’t humans, from the beginning of time, experienced stress? How does our contemporary stress compare to that of our ancestors trying to kill a wooly mammoth or face starvation? And hasn’t every generation experienced modern living, a time that is one or two steps more modern than the previous generation? Do our bodies really need help from external sources, like vitamins, oils, massage, yoga, or even soaps or lotions in order to survive stress and modern living? What if we don’t buy into the alternative health notion of toxins and detoxifying? Will we be OK? We’ll be just fine. It’s a good thing our bodies have a natural detox system. Lungs remove byproducts of energy metabolism. Kidneys remove acids as well as excess water. The liver treats toxic substances that are not soluble in water by adding an extra molecule, which allows the substances to dissolve in water and be excreted through the kidneys. The colon removes waste. This natural detox system is even working when we have too much fun, the partying kind. But the alternative industry tries to blame the aftermath, hangover, on toxins, too. It’s probably easy to convince an individual suffering through hangover that they need to get the toxins out of

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M their system in order to feel better. And what better way tou do that than with an injection of glutathione. That sounds c like natural health care, after all, our bodies utilize that E very thing, glutathione, as an antioxidant, and medical doctors prescribe intravenous glutathione to treat serious m conditions such as the side effects of cancer treatments, HIV/AIDS, Parkinson’s, type 2 diabetes, hepatitis, heavy Y a metal toxicities, and immunological deficiencies. But hangover is none of those, it is just the symptoms of the v body trying to stabilize after getting rid of a flood of alcoM hol that can only be metabolized at a certain rate, as well t as any other party type substances that may have been ingested. So adding a flood of glutathione doesn’t seem M logical. Because our bodies are pretty tightly regulated, v it uses a set amount of glutathione and senses a flood of d glutathione as something to get rid of in order to maintain s its happy place of homeostasis. As it turns out, glutathione is not stable in blood, having an extremely short half-life ofH fourteen minutes that leaves no time to do anything about c that hangover. Better off to save the couple hundred dol- t lars an alternative practitioner charges for a glutathione p infusion and avoid the hangover in the first place or suffer through it. After all, hangover is a self-inflicted condition Y e and the symptoms go away with or without any help. d Lest a claim is made that our body’s detox system is insuf- c ficient or compromised and requires help from an outside e source, here is one more biological reference: Our bodies o are pretty tightly regulated. The break down of the body’s l complex detoxification system means lung failure and the use of a ventilator, kidney failure, which means the use of E l dialysis, liver failure, which leads to death. Unless those kinds of symptoms are experienced, rest assured your I natural detox system is working as it should and you can m go about your modern living with one less thing to stress c about. I Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Minnew apolis, MN and attended Colorado Northwest Community O College (CNCC) and Colorado Mountain College (CMC) Artse & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination f of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative health world as former owner of a health food store and M c the encouragement of a couple of professors to write, write, write. I l m

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Valley Voice

Paid Apology

Lo Siento By José Mendoza Hernandez Mes de junio del presente año 2017, la policía me detenía por un delito menor que yo había cometido. El delito que yo había cometido era robo.

October 2017


Global Warming By John Whittum Or Do any Lives Really Matter?

Ya estando detenido me puse a pensar cómo se lo explicaría a mis hijos, a mi esposa, y demás familiares y amigos, la vergüenza empezó a hacer estragos en mi persona.

Or Why take the world’s problems seriously?

Mi trabajo estaba en riesgo mi jefe me despediría si se enteraba ya no podría ver a las personas sin agacharme.

The daily news barrages us with heated tales of hate and strife,

Me preguntaba cómo les exigiría a mis hijos que vivieran una vida recta, si ellos sabían que yo no lo había hecho. El temor de que ellos me lo recriminaran era más fuerte que el que sentía por estar detenido en ese momento.

While anxious scientists (except those paid by profiteering firms)

Yo decidí no huir, fuera cual fuera la sentencia del juez o el resultado del caso huir ya no era la solución. Tenía que dar la cara a mis acciones equivocadas. Hoy el propósito de compartir mi experiencia con ustedes que leen esta revista es que hagan conciencia, que no importa el tamaño del delito o quien seas la ley te alcanzara y la multa es el principio de las consecuencias, eso fue lo que a mí me pasó. En verdad espero nunca vivan algo parecido a esto, pero si llegan a estar en mi lugar no huyan, busquen una solución. In the month of June of this year 2017, the police stopped me for a misdemeanor that I had committed. The crime I had committed was robbery. I wasn’t even thinking about all the ways that this crime would affect my life. In other words, the nightmare began. Once I was arrested, I started thinking about how I would explain it to my children, my wife, and other relatives and friends. The shame began to wreak havoc on me. My job was at risk; my boss would fire me if he found out. I could not see people without stooping. I wondered how I would ask my children to live a righteous life, if they knew I had not. The fear that they would reproach me was worse than the feeling of being detained. Only then did I start to realize that the true consequences of a crime don’t depend on whether it is a misdemeanor or a felony. Everything has consequences beyond a fine or sentence in prison. I decided not to flee. Regardless of what the judge’s sentence was or the result of the case, fleeing was not the solution. I had to face my mistakes. Today the purpose of sharing my experience with you who read this magazine is to be aware that no matter the size of the crime or whoever you are, the law will reach you, and the fine is only the beginning of the consequences. That is what happened to me. In truth I hope you never have to live through something like this, but if find yourself in my place, do not run away, look for a solution.

Heading up to the Devil’s Causeway..

Global Warming / Global Swarming

Estaba muy lejos de pensar todo lo que este delito afectaría mi vida o más bien la pesadilla comenzaba.

Hasta entonces me puse a pensar las verdaderas consecuencias de un delito no importaba si era mayor o menor todo tiene consecuencias más allá de una multa o condena en prisión.


Attest that by the time our present century is dead and gone, So will the ice on peaks and poles have melted into rising seas And flooded coasts around the world as well as shrunk its living space. Compounding such climatic change, our heated globe also contains More people than it can sustain, and thus huge swarms of refugees Cannot find room in which to thrive without contesting rivalries. To ask what really matters in this worsening world we’re in, Why not affirmatively state: “Each life must matter to us all,” And then be sure the warming and the swarming claims do not exclude All earthly denizens of our beleaguered globe because it’s clear That every form of life has meaning to another life that’s dear. “Now, will it matter anyway,” a person questioned me, “When most of us alive today will die some time before The century has passed, and so, why care about it all?” I must admit I could not think of what I should have said, Despite the drastic need to slow the hell that lies ahead.

Photo by Julie McNally Hopelessness is a really toxic and dangerous state.—Cory Booker


October 2017

Valley Voice


Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

One day you will meet Chuck Norris, just to realize that all of those jokes about how strong and amazing he is are true.


April 20 - May 20

You are amazingly bright and sharp... like a light-saber... you know... from Star Wars? Have you seen that movie? Star Wars? About those people that fight in those little ships and blow up that big ship? With that robot that goes beep boop beep? And that guy who kisses his sister? Anyway, there is a cool laser sword that the main characters have... called a light-saber. Anyway, you’re welcome.


May 20 - June 20

The military created a new secret weapon that is the sound of babies crying, cats howling and Yoko Ono all at once. It’s supposedly the deadliest weapon in the world.


June 21 - July 22

You really want to break out of your shell and become more sociable. You convince yourself to get out there and start a conversation, and then you do... and realize that you hate everyone. RECREATIONAL SALES ONLY. Happy Hour is 7pm-10pm daily.

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July 23 - August 23

You will soon learn the importance of what that guy at the bus stop meant when he claimed that the neighborhood squirrels are plotting a conspiracy against you.


August 23 - September 22

You will decide that you will become a dooms-day prepper by buying a fleet of military tanks. Now you just feel kinda bad for those people that store food in their basement... because you can run everything over. Boo yeah!

OPEN DAILY Recreational & Medical

1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


September 23 - October 23

There is a difference between humans and animals. Animals don’t print little flowers on their toilet paper to make them feel better about expelling their bowels.


October 24 - November 21

Things really do seem funny years later, except for that one thing you did that was funny at the time... but now society has become more sensitive to that kind of thing and it is just politically incorrect.


November 22 - December 21

This month you and your friends will try to beat your overwhelming addiction to gambling and alcohol. There is a ten to one chance that they will fall off the wagon first!


December 22 - January 19

There is certainly more to life than laying on your couch, eating refried beans out of the can and watching old reruns of Friends. But then again, they said that they would be there for you... and really, that’s really nice of them.


January 20 - February 18

That sound that a guy makes when his team gets a touch down, you hear that same sound when he finishes turning a wrench or drinking a really good beer. That sound is called a mangasm.


February 19 - March 20

That radical and far fetched theory that there are little people who come to your house to tidy up while you are sleeping isn’t as far fetched as you think. It’s called your mom, and you should really give her a hug.

Valley Voice

October 2017


By Matt Scharf

Circus Tricks Summer is a great time to visit art museums, which offer the refreshing rinse of swimming pools-only instead of cool water, you immerse yourself in art.—Jerry Saltz


October 2017

Valley Voice


60-Min. Single Massage

60-Min. CBD Massage

60-Min. Detoxifying Facial

75-Min. Ultra Boost Lift & Firm Facial

Save $100

Save $100

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$270 Reg Now $170 for 2

$310 Reg Now $210 for 2

$280 Reg Now $180 for 2

$350 Reg Now $250 for 2

Buy your certificates online at or come into the spa. Bring a friend, or use one service now and one later. Expires on May 31, 2018. Certificates must be purchased by October 31, 2017.


4th and Lincoln (next to Bistro CV) For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Coupons expire on May 31, 2018. NO EXCEPTIONS. Fully Transferable. May not be used with any other coupons, discounts or promotions. Certificates must be purchased by October 31, 2017. Quickgift & SpaFinder gift certificates may not be used for this promotion. Blackout Dates: Dec 22-31, 2017 and February 14-19, 2018. NO SUBSTITUTIONS.