Valley Voice November 2017

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November 2017 . Issue 6.11


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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

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November 2017

Valley Voice Please help Historic Routt County and Save Arnold Barn restore the historic barn on Mt. Werner Road and keep our western heritage alive.

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

November 2017


Contents Gifts Page 4 By Dagny McKinley

Page 5

Early season snow driving before you’re fully back in practice…

Harry A. Gorman/ Cutting Edge Scientist

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Too much work to go to a free concert…

Parent PLUS Loans are Crazy

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Thank You!

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By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield By Scott L. Ford By Karen Vail

Sunsets Page 10 By Aimee Kimmey

Pass the Potatoes By Lyn Wheaton

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf

Your passing lane clogged up with the out-of-state elderly, so mesmerized by the scenery that they forget driver’s ed…

Insights Into Local Housing Issues By Scott L. Ford

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Opening Day Page 12 By Debora Black

People lurking around at night in backhoes… When your invoice gets handed off to someone you don’t know… Short Open Enrollment season…

Raves... Indian summer!... When you’re able to get all your cars and trucks into the garage…

Calendar of Free Events

Page 17

Sales: Eric Kemper

First Friday Artwalk

Page 18

Good friends who think of you when they have a free concert ticket…

Event Calendar: Eric Kemper

The Right Drink for the Right Occasion

Page 20

The best sports week of the year…

The Thought That Counts

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Business Manager:

Scott Ford

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.

Official Fine Print

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

By Eric Kemper

By Wina Procyzyn By Eric Kemper

By LA Bourgeois


Fallen Page 22 By Wandering Rose

A World Series for the ages… Having some breathing room in town… The Halloween Stroll... The excitement of another ski season... Getting a few more rides in before the snow falls...

Men - What are You Looking for in a Date?

Page 23

The 50th Reunion!

Page 24

Integrated Medicine

Page 24

Say What?...

They’ll Leave a Light on for You

Page 25

“Did that disheveled transient just say ‘gnar pow bra?’”

Embarking on a New Course

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By Mr. Helpful M.D. By Fred Robinson By Monica Yager By Lorre Buss

By Marian Tolles

All the elk that got away...

“Remember when I got hit by a boat at 12,000 ft?” “My heater doesn’t work, but I have seat warmers”

Yepelloscopes Page 26

“You don’t want to grow up to marry the village idiot, do you?. Just ‘cause your mom did…”


“I don’t want to go on a expedition, I just want to get out of town for the day…”

By Chelsea Yepello

Page 27

“Can I sign that impeachment petition twice?” “I like it when good sense meets crazy”

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

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The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest—William Blake


November 2017

Valley Voice

Art in the ‘Boat


clude her father who taught her a good work ethic and to always be kind, and her grandmother who is “the strongest woman I know.” Artistically, Salavador Dali’s perspective and style, Frida Kahlo’s perseverance and talent and Robert Mapplethorpe’s pushing of boundaries have all helped shape Carter’s work.

By Dagny McKinley

Carter shoots her subjects using a Pentax K-1. Although Carter shoots images from around the world, she admits that Steamboat is a photographer’s paradise. “On any given day you can go out and shoot something completely different. One day you can shoot kayakers on the river, the next day wild horses in Sandwash Basin. There is always an adventure if you are willing to go out and be part of it.”

The Steamboat Springs Arts Council’s (SSAC) annual Gift Show is upon us. Each year Artist Members display works on a smaller scale at more affordable prices, so that the gift of art is accessible to everyone. From small prints to sculptures, jewelry, cards and ornaments, the SSAC gallery transforms into a space of holiday cheer.

This year, the SSAC’s newest employee will be among those showcasing her work. Photographer Christy Carter, who joined the SSAC team in September, 2017, will be featuring small prints of photos she took on a recent trip to Africa. She chose the pieces so people could get a glimpse into a part of the world that not a lot of people have a chance to see. One of the most memorable moments for Carter was shooting Lions. “Real wild LIONS!” recalled Carter. The encounter was a literal brush with one of the world’s top predators when one lion came so close his ear grazed her camera lens. “It was such a surreal moment. This animal could have killed me at any time. I was not in a safari vehicle but a regular Jeep and this Lion decided to come give us a look. It was an amazing and heart stopping minute.” Carter got her start in photography when she was on the photo squad for yearbook in high school. “I fell in love with being in the darkroom and watching my work come to life,” Carter said. Some of the major influences in her life in-

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

On Carter’s wish list of subjects to photograph is Childbirth. “I would love to capture that moment for someone,” said Carter. Miksang is Carter’s favorite genre of photography to shoot. Miksang, meaning ‘Good Eye’ in Tibetan, is a form of contemplative photography where one photographs with mindfulness in order to connect deeply and intimately with the subject. The principles of Miksang photography are similar to meditation. Miksang requires quieting the mind and patience. According to the website,, “Miksang is photography in which we use the camera to express our visual perceptions exactly as we experience them. Because we know how to prepare ourselves to receive perceptions when we see them, and we know how to understand exactly what we have seen, we then know exactly how to express what we have seen with our camera. The resulting image is an exact expression of our eye, mind, and heart as it connects with the perception.” Good art connects not just with the artist, but offers a universal connection to an emotional state, to beauty or simply to the reality of the world around us. This year’s Gift Show at the Steamboat Springs Art Depot offers a little bit of each of those. The show runs for the months of November and December from 9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Valley Voice

November 2017


Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

Insights into Local Housing Issues By Scott L. Ford

The amount of data available locally has been growing exponentially over the past decade. This has been good news for me. I am well known as a person who digs deeply into data and, perhaps more importantly, I know where to find it. In my economic research endeavors, I spend most of my time accessing Census, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Bureau of Economic Analysis, Labor Market Information and Longitudinal Employer-Household Dynamics. Occasionally I access the Colorado Department of Local Affairs (property tax and demographic data) and Colorado Department of Revenue. I am picky about the data sources I embrace. Sources must meet the following criteria: 1. Must be available at no cost from a recognized, reliable and objective source 2. Must have a well-documented methodology how the data is collected 3. The data must be available on an annual basis for at least 5 years or more 4. The data must allow for comparability to other places It is not often that I come across a data source that meets these criteria and can provide valuable local insights to an important topic such as housing. Thanks to a fellow data geek I have learned about the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development - Comprehensive Housing Affordability Strategy data (CHAS). This data provides insights to housing stress. Over the next few months I plan on digging deeply into this newly discovered data set and sharing with you what I have learned. The CHAS data is organized around housing problems. It identifies four different problems and their degree of severity. These problems are: A. Housing unit lacks complete kitchen facilities B. Housing unit lacks complete plumbing facilities C. Household is overcrowded D. Household is cost burdened A household is said to have a housing problem if they have any one or more of these four problems. A household is considered over crowded if there is more than one person per room in the house. The problem is considered severe if there is more than 1.5 persons per room. It is important to note that this is not bedrooms, but rooms in the house excluding bathrooms.

A household is considered cost burdened if monthly housing costs (including utilities) is exceeding 30% of monthly income. This problem is considered severe if monthly housing costs is exceeding 50% of monthly income. Very few of the housing units in Routt County lack kitchen and plumbing facilities. In addition, overcrowding is not a significant problem. The housing problem that does exist using CHAS data is household cost burden.

Nationwide Cost Burden <=30% Cost Burden >30% to <=50% Cost Burden >50% Cost Burden not available


Owner 47.2% 9.8% 6.8% 0.5% 64.4%

Renter 18.2% 7.8% 8.6% 0.9% 35.6%

Total 65.4% 17.7% 15.5% 1.5% 100.0%

Renter 18.0% 8.2% 8.2% 0.7% 35.2%

Total 65.9% 18.3% 14.7% 1.1% 100.0%

Renter 15.6% 6.0% 7.2% 0.2% 28.9%

Total 60.7% 19.1% 19.5% 0.6% 99.9%

Colorado Cost Burden <=30% Cost Burden >30% to <=50% Cost Burden >50% Cost Burden not available


Owner 47.8% 10.1% 6.4% 0.4% 64.8%

Routt Cost Burden <=30% Cost Burden >30% to <=50% Cost Burden >50% Cost Burden not available


Owner 45.2% 13.1% 12.3% 0.5% 71.1%

Steamboat Springs Area Cost Burden <=30% Cost Burden >30% to <=50% Cost Burden >50% Cost Burden not available


Owner 43.3% 12.2% 12.2% 0.4% 68.0%

Renter 16.7% 6.2% 9.0% 0.1% 32.0%

Total 59.9% 18.4% 21.3% 0.4% 100.0%

What this data highlights is that home ownership rates in Routt and the Steamboat Springs area are about 4 to 5 percent higher than that seen nationally or statewide. The percentage of severely cost burdened renters in the Steamboat area is about the same as it is nationally. The percentage of home owners in Routt and the Steamboat area who are considered severely cost burdened is about two times that seen nationally or statewide.

Each day provides its own gifts—Marcus Aurelius


November 2017

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Harry A. Gorman Jr.: Cutting Edge Scientist By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

loan. Alexander approved the loan and Harry moved to Bountiful, Utah, to open a practice in artificial insemination. Artificial insemination in dairy cattle was cutting edge science back then. He had several clients, but few paid their bills. So he moved again, this time to Fort Wayne, Indiana, where he opened a successful practice. Then came World War II. In college ROTC, he became a commissioned officer but did not go into active service until after the attack at Pearl Harbor. Throughout history, the success of armies often depended upon their health. Recognizing this fact, the United States placed a high priority on rations provided to combat units. Harry’s first assignment was the mundane job of hygiene in the vast Chicago meat and dairy markets. He was soon reassigned to Boston and ordered to write specifications for fish consumption.

Harry Gorman’s life, although it lacked glamor and thrills, continually affects millions of people. After three year-old Harry Gorman, Jr’s mother passed away in the flu epidemic of 1918-19, he was raised by his father on a ranch three miles east of Hayden. Ten years later the boy fixed supper but his father failed to come home. Harry found his father in a corral where a heavy gate swinging in the wind had hit him in the head. The thirteen year-old boy took his father home and put him in bed where he passed on. Orphaned Harry Jr planned to continue ranching, but his mother’s sister, Aunt Effie Watson, would have none of that. Harry would finish high school and go to college. Graduating from Denver’s North High School, Harry, intending to major in electrical engineering, enrolled at Colorado A. & M. One class led to another and in 1939 he graduated as a veterinarian. Harry returned to Hayden and opened a practice, but foolish mistakes soon forced him to close. Not easily defeated, he asked the president of the Routt County National Bank, Mr. Alexander, for a $1000 unsecured

Without standards or oversight of fish processing, shipping, and marketing, the business was slipshod and dangerous. Gorman boarded the fishing boats to learn about fishing, sorting, and processing at all levels. He followed the fish through the entire system and wrote workable specifications for each level from catch to arrival at the Army Depot. These were combined into general specifications that remained for several years. Suddenly he was transferred from the Army to the Air Corp, ordered to Atlantic City, and instructed to specialize in preventive medicine for humans. Harry thought he was going on a special mission to Sicily, but in January 1944, he arrived in Scotland and soon transferred to London. Here, he and a Russian counterpart were ordered to write plans for the occupation of Europe. It was not a successful mission. The Russian rejected all of Gorman’s proposals and Gorman rejected all the Russian proposals. Following Normandy, the Allies asked Dutch railroad workers to go on strike. In retaliation, the occupying German army shut off food supplies to cities resulting in the Hungry Winter of 1944-45, during which thousands of Dutch died of starvation and malnutrition. An anomaly of war occurred. Although the German Army prevented shipments from farm to city, they

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

agreed to allow British and American planes to drop food into Holland. Gorman was ordered to lead an unarmed convoy of trucks loaded with predigested protein (intravenous feeding) through the enemy lines. Intravenous feeding of starving people was cutting edge medicine at the time and Gorman was expected to teach Dutch doctors correct procedures to administer the lifesaving fluid. The convoys were allowed into enemy territory, but were not allowed to return. When the German army pulled out, they mined the causeways and opened dikes to flood the low lands. Gorman’s new orders were to take command of 800 Dutch veterinarians, control rampant disease among animals, and rescue thousands of people. Although the war in Europe ended May 8, Gorman continued his rescue mission, but German mines destroyed 17 vehicles loaded with men and women. During the war, the Dutch lost most of their desperately needed work horses. Good horses were found in Germany and Gorman was told to purchase them. He bought good animals, but only broke down horses arrived in Holland. Gorman stopped the black market by branding the horses and sealing railroad cars which then were inspected at various shipping points. For his heroic work, Queen Wilhelmina knighted Gorman into the Royal Order of Orange of the Dutch. Most returning veterans were discharged, but Gorman chose to remain in the Air Corp. In 1950, he became commander of the Veterinary Corp at the Air Defense Command in Colorado Springs. The DEW Line and the SAC bases of the national defense system were being established across isolated areas of the United States and Canada. Gorman was responsible for assuring the shelter, food, and sanitation of the installations. When the Air Force encouraged officers to take advanced degrees, Gorman was assigned to Ohio State. At the time, partial joint implants in both humans and animals were attempted with limited success, but a total implant of a hip joint was considered impossible. Harry decided to develop a hip joint and put it into a dog. The joint had to be strong, light, durable, and noninfectious. Also, a technique to attach the muscle to the artificial joint without the body rejecting it was necessary. It took four years and many failures before he succeeded. The Gorman technique became the standard for many years. His success soon resulted in artificial hip joints being placed in humans. After developing the artificial hip, Gorman was transferred to Brooks Air Force Base where he played a major role in the early space program. Animals were a central part of early scientific studies before sending man into space. The first animal used to study weightlessness was a cat. It was injured in the test, so Gorman took it home and transplanted its hip. The cat lived for another ten years. Weightlessness was a serious challenge. The vascular system depends upon gravity to regulate itself. In weightlessness, the heart becomes extremely erratic, racing from high speed to sudden stops as it seeks a point of reference. Using the idea of massage and a

Valley Voice

November 2017

Go Figure!?

Parent PLUS Student Loans are Crazy By Scott L. Ford

When I was working in the College/Career Center at the Steamboat Springs High School, I called the Thanksgiving holiday the moment of truth for most seniors and their families. One of the most frequent future related questions a 12th grader will be asked over the coming holiday is, “So, what are your plans next year?” Typically in the period between Halloween and Christmas there will be a frenzy of discussions about college and completing applications. This is also the time of year where parents come face to face with the reality of how much college is going to cost. It was my experience that very few parents have saved enough and there is a sense of failure and guilt. It is difficult for parents to tell students straight out they cannot afford their child’s school of choice. There is hope against all hope that their student will receive a generous financial aid package from this school. When the school does present the financial aid package, it often has student and parent loans wrapped into it. Federally guaranteed student loans issued to the parent are called Parent’s PLUS Loans. Setting aside any discussion about private student loans available to the student or the parent, a student can take out a maximum of $5,500 in federal loans their freshmen year. There is no such dollar limit on Parent PLUS Loans. The underwriting requirements for Parent PLUS Loans are minimal. Eligibility for a Parent PLUS Loan does not depend on credit scores or debt-to-income ratios. The only requirement is that the borrower of a Parent PLUS Loan must not have an adverse credit history. An adverse credit history is defined as: tourniquet, Gorman developed a space suit that stabilizes the blood system when in weightlessness.

1. Being 90+ days delinquent on any aggregate debt totaling $2,085; or

Many experiments were conducted before a man was sent into space. In the early phase, small black mice were the primary animals. Gorman was responsible for caring for them; however, he had a powerful phobia against the little creatures. So, he brought the mice home, and space science depended upon “Mom” and kids’ faithful care.

2. In the past two years having $2,085 or more of debt charged off; or

Alan Shepard’s flight nearly failed. After launch, the space ship began vibrating violently and Shepard was about to abort. In training, Gorman had emphasized the vibration would stop once a certain elevation and speed were achieved. Alan remembered the instructions and kept going. Gorman remained with the space program through John Glenn’s flight and the beginning of the Gemini series. For his service, he received the NASA Distinguished Award in 1969. Then it was time to move on. He went to work for Martin Marietta and returned to the Denver area. He soon bought a second home in Strawberry Park near Steamboat Springs. While at Martin Marietta, he improved the wiring connections for pace makers and a method of preventing leakage in pace makers. When Martin Marietta moved its research to Maryland, Gorman moved to Fort Collins and the school of veterinarian medicine. Here he remained until shortly before his death in February 1989, at age 72.


3. Bankruptcy, foreclosure, repossession, tax lien or wage garnishment, in the past five years.

With a cumulative loan limit, it is easy to see that in four years at CU-Boulder a parent could borrow $80,000+, and over $130,000+ at Colorado College. Why would any parent do this? It is because less than half of families have saved even one dollar for their children’s college and there is a sense of failure and guilt. Feeling bad about this, they borrow the money. This is crazy! Parents can begin to repay a Parents PLUS Loan immediately when the loan is issued or they can elect deferment. Deferment delays loan repayment until after the student is no longer enrolled at least half-time (6 credits). During deferment the interest, currently at 6.8%, is added to the principal, compounding the problem. Deferment is the option most parents choose which only delays the day of reckoning. This is crazy! When the day of reckoning does come, most parents elect an income based repayment plan that caps their monthly loan payments at 20% of disposable income for the next 25 years. The biggest problem with this choice is that the monthly repayment amount typically does not cover the interest on the loan and the shortfall is simply added to the loan principal and the loan balance continues to grow. This is crazy! Under the income based repayment option, if the parent was 28 years old when the child was born, and they finished college at age 22, the parent would be 50 when they started to repay the Parents PLUS Loan. If the loan balance was $100,000 and they selected a 25-year income based repayment plan that resulted in a $325 monthly payment, at age 75 the total loan balance would be about $180,000. If over that 25-year period no payments were missed the outstanding loan balance would be “forgiven”. This all sounds nice, except the amount “forgiven” would become taxable income in the year it was forgiven. At the 35% rate they would owe $63,000 in income taxes. Let’s take a closer look at this situation. The parent is 75 years old, have dramatically reduced their retirement savings because of Parent PLUS Loan repayments and owe $63,000 in income taxes. This is crazy!

If a parent has none of the above, they can get a federally insured Parent PLUS Loan. Unlike the federal loans issued to students, Parent PLUS Loans limits are very generous. The annual loan limit on a Parent PLUS Loan is the full annual cost of attendance (COA) of the college minus other financial aid received by the student. There is no aggregate (cumulative) loan limit. There is no assessment if the parent has sufficient income or assets to make the payments. This is crazy! The COA at Colorado University at Boulder for an in-state student is currently $29,125. If the student received $10,000 in financial aid in the form of scholarships and loans, the parent can borrow up to $19,125 ($29,125 $10,000 = $19,125). The COA at Colorado College in Colorado Springs is $52,818. If the student received $20,000 in financial aid in the form of scholarships and loans, the parent can borrow up to $32,818 ($52,818 - $20,000 = $32,818).

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November 2017

Valley Voice

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Thank You! By Karen Vail

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Photos by Karen Vail I am writing this under a glowing roof of aspen gold, smelling the twinges of fall creeping in through the canopy. What an amazing thing, this nature we are surrounded and supported by. How do I thank thee? Let me count the ways!! If we follow the science of how nature enhances our lives, we would need volumes of books. Researchers are realizing more and more how a healthy natural world is one of the best health benefits for our physical, mental and emotional health (we won’t even touch on the endless benefits for the world in general). I am reading Florence Williams’ book “Nature Fix; Why Nature Makes us Happier, Healthier and More Creative”. Ms. Williams starts off by asking us “what is nature,” then proceeds to examine aspects from forests to virtual reality. I would like to define “nature” as any part of your environment that connects you to the natural world. This broad definition could include a houseplant in your office, a window view of trees, your back yard, a tree-lined street, an irrigation ditch lined with plants, or the “wild”we all love. Some of my most profound connections with the natural world have been in my yard watching insects and birds (and bears and moose) and following plants through their seasons. The physical benefits of our natural world are many. After all, we would not be here were it not for natural systems that sustain us. A simple, but endlessly life-giving system starts with that tree in your yard which is converting your exhaled carbon dioxide into oxygen (the all-important carbon cycle), removing many pollutants from the air and soil, preventing erosion, lowering the temperature of the soil and maintaining snowpack longer, contributing to biodiversity with nesting sites, food and protection, and increasing the humidity of the air which contributes to the water cycle. Not to mention all the products we get from trees! Have you noticed as you walk through a forest or even sit under a tree in your yard that your shoulders relax, your heart rate drops and you become calmer? According to an NPR broadcast (Forest Bathing: A Retreat To Nature Can Boost Immunity And Mood, July 17, 2017), trees release compounds into the air known as phyton-

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

cides that reduce concentrations of stress hormones and enhanced activity of white-blood cells known as known as natural killer cells. Inhaaaaale, aaaah! Nature does amazing things to our brain physiology. Researchers in Korea showed volunteers images of natural and urban scenes while looking at their brain activity using functional MRI. The urban scenes showed more blood flow in the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety, whereas the natural scenes affected the anterior cingulate and insula, which are associated with empathy and altruism. Another study focused on those walking through nature or city streets. Here the nature walkers showed decreased activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex, which is associated with our tendency to dwell on negative thoughts and depression. Ready for that walk yet? Time spent in nature helps your immune system, your heart health, reduces hypertension, improves respiratory function, increases mental sharpness, and reduces the production of the stress hormone cortisol. For the health of our bodies we need a connection to nature! According to a recent Environmental Protection Agency study, the average American spends 93% of their life indoors. 87% is spent in buildings, another 6% in automobiles. This leaves 7% of the average American’s life spent outdoors; translating to one half of one day per week. And a poll in 2014 by the Nature Conservancy found that preschoolers tend to spend up to 12 hours a week outside, but by the time they turn sixteen they spend less than seven hours a week in nature. Yikes!! Now the Yampa Valley is not the “average” American community, but there is still cause for concern as we are seeing more youth spending the majority of their day with screen time and organized activities, with the parents following a similar trend. If everyone spent unstructured, quality time in nature every day, we could radically change our health care and insurance system. All the benefits listed above would drastically reduce the need for health care for debilitating diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, depression, asthma, migraines, possibly cancers and much more. A study done in 2009 by Dutch researchers found that people who lived within

Valley Voice

November 2017

meaningfulness, happiness, mindfulness and lower cognitive anxiety. A study done at the University of Derby in England took 18,500 people and challenged them over 30 days to do something “wild” every day. The researchers were not surprised to find that the physical well being of the participants was enhanced, but they were interested in noting that those people with a stronger connection to nature experienced more life satisfaction. They also identified contact, emotion, compassion and engagement with natural beauty as ways which helped people feel closer to nature. Interestingly, the more scientific and knowledge-based activities were not found to help connect people to nature.

at least a half mile of green space had a lower incidence of 15 diseases. Ms. Williams writes, …”in 2015 an international team overlaid health questionnaire responses from more than 31,000 Toronto residents onto a map of the city, block by block. Those living on blocks with more trees showed a boost in heart and metabolic health equivalent to what one would experience from a $20,000 gain in income.” Who needs extra anxiety from working when we could all just take a walk up Spring Creek or even the Core Trail? Got the shoes on! Ready to go!! Our mental and physical health, as you can see, benefits greatly by time spent in nature. Feeling a part of nature also correlates positively with life satisfaction, vitality,

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When was the last time you checked your tech device? How about replacing that tech obsession with a quick study around you focusing on a natural thing (even the houseplant in your office). Pick out something you have never noticed, are there unique aromas in the air, can you hear something you have never noticed before? Oooh, and how about a nice short walk now that you are diverted from the screen? Leave the phone at home. Richard Louv in his amazing book “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature Deficit Disorder” wrote that more and more researchers believe the loss of connection to natural habitats has enormous implications for human health and child development. We have evolved with nature, and the quality of exposure to nature affects our health at an almost cellular level. Regardless of all the research in the world about the benefits of nature in our lives, we will always go into nature not because the scientists say it does this and that to us, but because of how it makes us feel. Go out and say “thank you.” I will see you out there!


We’re No Turkeys!

2570 South Copper Frontage • 970•879•5717

Come by Johnny B. Good’s Steamboat’s Classic Diner

Photo by Crash Sterne


MILKSHAKE MONDAYS Buy a meal and get a FREE Milkshake, one per person. All Mondays in November, does not apply with other specials.

Remember VETERANS EAT FREE on November 11

Open 7am – 9pm Daily 738 Lincoln . Downtown Steamboat Springs

Johhny B

Look deep Nov into nature, 2017 and then you will understand everything better.—Albert Einstein


November 2017

Beer of the Month:

Valley Voice

Telluride Brewing

Tales from the Front Desk

Sunsets By Aimee Kimmey

You watch the front desk clerk punch your information into her computer. You just want to get your key and get to your room. But there’s always paperwork. It’s not your first stay in a hotel, you know this. You have friends and family back home who work in hotels, you’ve all shared several hearty laughs at the expense of stupid, impatient travelers. So you try to be a good guest; friendly and self sufficient.

970-879-7355 Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

The silence drones on as she punches buttons. On the corner of 40 and Hilltop Pkwy 10 to 10 Mon. – Thurs. 10 to Midnight Fri. & Sat. 11:30 to 7:30 Sundays

The Original Local’s Liquor Store

The story you are about to read is true, more or less... 4:15 pm. Front desk.

Be Local & Eat Local! Amazing baked goodies, quiche, breakfast burritos, sausage rolls, plus great coffee and tea.

It seems like a lifetime ago that you crawled out of your bed. You were on the road before dawn, you crossed three states before lunch. If you can call that greasy burger you gulped down lunch. At least it was a precious few minutes out of the car. Your afternoon was a seemingly endless cycle of coffee and bathroom stops. Empty and reload, empty and reload.

198 East Lincoln Ave. Hayden, Colorado 970-276-4250

Come to think of it, your bladder’s full again. Hang on, almost there, just have to check in, then you can get to the room and pee for the hundredth time today.


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For a while there you weren’t sure your right foot would ever straighten out. Would it be permanently stuck at a 90 degree angle? You’re pretty sure you haven’t felt any blood flow through your butt since that first coffee break.

Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….


By the time you reached the hotel, your eyes were going a little buggy. You could see yellow stripes speeding past everywhere you looked. The exit sign off the highway was a dream! At last, you were close enough to smell the barn. The hotel was just like the pictures on the website, but at this point you could really care less; you were just thrilled to get out of the car. You found an open spot close to the rooms, hoping you wouldn’t have to get behind the wheel again before tomorrow. You climbed out and stretched, no fewer than six bones and joints creaked and popped. Wheh! Out of the car at last! Now all you want is to crash out on a soft, nonmoving surface, watch some TV, maybe catch a quick nap before finding dinner.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic……… *12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons

Arthur C. Clarke

For those who live here and for those who wish they did. a

You’re beginning to feel a little rude, just standing there watching her work, not saying anything. Before your brain can engage, your mouth opens, “So... Do you guys get sunsets around here?” As the words hit your ears, you’re mortified. Did I seriously just ask that? But it’s too late, the question’s out there now. She stares at you over her glasses, sizing you up. Are you truly mentally challenged? Is she going to have to delicately explain how the earth and sun thing works? “Yes sir, I assure you, the sun sets here just like it does in your home.” She says with a smirk. Oh. My. God! You feel like the world’s biggest idiot. You try to play it cool, “I--er-- It’s... been a long day.” The front desk clerk grins, coming to your rescue, “Looks it! In fact, we have some great sunset happy hours in town; here I’ll get you a brochure.” “Thanks!” You’re relieved, she seems to have forgiven you. She smiles, “Here’s your room key...” She shows you on the map how to get there, casually explaining it as if you DO posses a reasonable IQ. “Get some sleep!” She teases as you leave the lobby. Now you can both laugh about it. You’re grateful the front desk clerk has a good sense of humor. You know she and her friends are going to laugh about this one later, but at least she’s understands it was just a byproduct of road exhaustion.

Valley Voice

November 2017


Routt County Disasters

Pass the Potatoes By Lyn Wheaton

I had a thought. I wrote a note and it turned into a soliloquy. As I wrote -- I realized I knew a whole lot about Vodka. Where does one acquire such extensive knowledge about such an obscure topic? The first and most obvious answer would be from my experience in the restaurant business. That actually would make sense and probably did contribute to the breadth of knowledge. Things you may or may not know about Vodka: Unless you get in with an alcoholic or become one yourself – you might not know why so many of them prefer Vodka. I learned “the secret” when I was a young aspiring drinker trying to hide my drunken nights out, ironically, from my mother. My mother was always bullying me into drinking and telling me I was just like my father, an old fart, whenever I refused. But I showed her. I started doing coke to keep up with all the drinkers around me, and soon I was able to drink a whole bottle of Vodka in a few hours time. Vodka is supposed to be odorless; this is why it appeals to those with a problem who may be trying to hide it during the day. Those who like to slip a little into their morning orange juice. It is colorless and odorless. At least that’s what “they” say. So if you are someone who has a wooden leg -- as my mother often said about her father, Mr. Father -- your drinking may go undetected. My mother did not have a wooden leg and neither do I. In as much as people with an addiction have to sneak around, they also enjoy talking about their drug. It’s like a love affair. That’s how one acquires such inside knowledge. I also know a lot about heroin. That’s another ballad, for another day. And if you were like my mother, you would also enjoy pointing out all the other people who, unlike her, were alcoholics. I carry around a large jug of water because I am terminally thirsty. I bring a repurposed thirty-two ounce Chai

My mother always wanted us to drink wine at the dinner table especially on holidays. She did this because she probably figured she wouldn’t get as much pushback from my everything-in-moderation-dad. My dad never drank more than a beer or two and would have opposed my mother had she tried to persuade us to drink wine on a school night. My mother said she wanted us to drink at home so we wouldn’t have to feel the impulse to drink outside of the home. Personally, I learned that I’d rather drink outside of the home -- in a car, or in a bar, anywhere – as long as I wasn’t drinking around my mother. I don’t know if Vodka is flammable like other liquors. How do I not know that? But it certainly starts fires. And once the flames have exploded the only thing that will extinguish them is sleep, lots of it. I just thought up a cheer for Vodka: Hey Vodka you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Vodka!

bottle filled with water everywhere I go. And whenever someone gives the bottle an odd look – I say, “Vodka.” They laugh. I never know what they really think. I like to keep them guessing. But the colorless aspect of Vodka allows the seasoned alcoholic to do this as a practice. Normally they are very protective over the bottle of “water.” On more than one occasion I have mistakenly taken a swig of a drink and had to spit it out for the burn. Vodka burns the throat, especially the cheap stuff. I learned to drink Vodka from the mother. She liked Vodka—I assume for all the reasons I have highlighted, but she liked the cheap stuff. Popov was the rotgut she settled on and my brother and I wrote a song parody about it called Popov Highway. I’m not sure if it was a matter of economy or what. But for me, if I was going to drink I was going to drink the good stuff. At the time, in the Vodka category, this was Smirnoff or better yet, Stolichnaya. I had a real affection for Stoli and pineapple for a year. It was exactly a year – my junior year in college. There was a bar in Denver called Mr. Lucky’s and they had a happy hour that couldn’t be beat. They poured top shelf for a dollar a drink. Even in the early ‘80s that was a good price. So we went as often as we could and slammed as many as time allowed. This was around the same time I started to worry that the partying was getting a tad out of control, and I might not have quite the handle on the whole thing that I thought I did. Every weekend was a “lost” weekend. I wasn’t always able to drink so well. In high school, I stuck to pot – rarely drinking. The drinking I did in high school largely consisted of the occasional bottle of Mateus wine. I think we picked this bottle because of the artistic possibility the empty decanter offered. I had several in my room. When the wide bottom vessel was empty we’d put candles in the top and let the wax run down and cover the bottle with trippy trails of the melting abstraction. Once in a while, I would take a swig of blackberry brandy on the ski bus but I did not like the taste of booze, at all. In college everyone was drinking and I wanted to drink too. So I forced myself. I got sick every time, for about a year, and then finally my body got used to it.

I don’t agree with the premise that Vodka is tasteless and odorless - I think this is a fallacy, some sort of urban myth, being perpetrated on secretive drinkers everywhere. To me, Vodka tastes like rubbing alcohol smells. And it, like all booze, is an acquired taste. It also smells like rubbing alcohol. You can definitely smell it but maybe I have just developed a keen, bloodhound-like, sense of smell for Vodka. In my years I have had to become a Vodka detective because of the havoc it wreaked on so many lives. How can an innocent potato cause so much trouble? That’s what Vodka’s made from, you know. Potatoes. The same could be said about other substances. I find it amusing when people defend their intoxicant of choice with the phrase, but it’s natural, man. It grows in the ground. Yes, it’s natural. So is the opium that makes heroin. So are the cocoa leaves that produce cocaine, and so are the potatoes that make Vodka – it’s natural. Just like having a vegetable. You could think of the Vodka as the vegetable and the mixer you prefer, as the butter, that makes it taste good. Yes. It is a meal replacement for many. Actually, Vodka is an ethanol product, like the stuff some cars will run on now. Also known in the backwoods as moonshine or in frat houses as grain alcohol. It really is a miraculous and versatile product. No wonder those who drink it can become dependent. At some point, the alcohol, just like coffee for me, replaces the plasma that pumps through the veins and you need a continuous supply. Just like a car that is running out of gas (or ethanol), you will feel crappy if you become depleted. Tired, listless, sluggish, and genuinely unenthused about your life. Nobody wants that. Time to fuel up. So this Holiday season – for old time sake – I think I’ll throw some Vodka in my eggnog while nobody’s looking. Bottoms up.

Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.—Matsuo Basho


November 2017

Valley Voice

The Paw Print

Opening Day By Debora Black

by the early winter temperature—so tasty with apple slices, a wine drenched cheese, herb crusted salami. Take snowshoes too, might as well, just in case. Snowshoes added an interesting flair to our hikes. By the time we reached the trailhead, the dogs were eager to get going. My timeout to strap on the snowshoes roused Io’s exuberant impatience. She would run across the parking area, run back to me and bite and tug at my wrist or my arm while I fumbled with the straps, “Okay, okay,” I’d say, “I’m coming.”

The morning of Thanksgiving I would gather up and ski on whatever runs happened to be open on the mountain— usually limited, sometimes sketchy, so many rocks. This wasn’t a big workout but was lots of fun—blue sky, crisp air, pines and aspens. Everything to love. Always though, and especially on holidays, I didn’t want to be away from Io and Tycho, my magnificent dogs. I felt the pull of our connection, the penetrating WE of our family, our pack, and would be eager to get back home to my crew, so we could head out together for the main event of our celebration, a long and adventurous hike. Maybe Buff Pass—take a backpack, snacks for all of us, water—chilled naturally

Tycho was older and easygoing. But he would get charged-up under Io’s provocations, and he’d hop and skip and lunge for Io’s neck when she spun past him. Finally I’d have the snowshoes secured. The backpack, easy. Gloves? Yup, one, and two—super light Thinsulate, just enough—and away we’d go, Io happy in an easy canter, taking a grand lead with her white-plumed tail sparkling in the sun. Tycho typically followed Io in a peppy trot that slowed to a walk and slowed again to a stop where he would make a three-step turn and wait for me to catch up—“Here I come big boy!” I’d shout. He’d swing his tail in acknowledgement, and I believe, complete understanding, and after he determined that I was close enough, he trotted away with renewed spunk, then slowed, then stopped and turned and watched me flip flop, once again, up the snowy path. As we progressed through the trees, the meadow, found the river—the landscape looked so different in the snow, the path less sure—the dogs would settle into

“It’s just not the same anymore” For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

their own private worlds, spend time deciphering scents, exploring sounds I couldn’t always hear, and I would pass them, stepping off the trail into the deeper snow, merging back again, my own thoughts thrumming. Both dogs hated to hike behind me—couldn’t see a thing. Io had few manners in her notion to take back her lead position. She pushed and leapt against my legs, knocked me down on several occasions—clumsy snowshoes. But then, Io would always return to the scene of her crime, duck her head, wriggle her cuteness in my direction, and wave her mottled pink nose over my snowbound self like, “Oh, um, was that me?” All of Io’s cuteness and the sweet way she checked me over with her sniffing, secretly pleased me and filled me with an opulent sense of well being. My dogs and I always stuck together. Best friends. “It’s okay, Io” I would reassure her and rub my fingers into the scrumptious coat around her neck. “I’m okay.” When Tycho got behind on the trail it was a little different story. He would catch up to me, step on the back of my snowshoe, and I’d make a spectacular face plant in the snow—always a total surprise. I’d roll over onto my back saying something like, “Holy cow,” wipe the snow away, and he’d stand over me and lick my mouth and teeth with his sticky dog tongue—which made me laugh, which encouraged his enthusiasm. “Okay, okay, I love you too, Big One,” I’d say, but it would take a good moment to convince him. And it was hard to get out from under him—he was huge and strong, but too old and wobbly for a big playful shove, especially in the snow. Plus, I could see in his bearing and his glee filled eyes that the game reinforced his sense of dominance and power, and this was healthy for the proud alpha male smoldering in his soul. At the river we turned left toward the soft beach of sediment that had formed from a substantial eddy, and the dogs would get a good drink. Then we doubled back to the main trail and continued in the opposite direction. We followed the river—shallow in November, dark. Its edges stilled into a frozen crust and covered in snow, while what remained liquid pulsed and strained beneath. Where the trail split, we veered right, putting the river at our backs. We would ascend at a gentle grade out of the willows, then branch off of the trail to the left and climb more aggressively up to a massive rock where a flat spot waited—dogs allowing me to lead now, snowshoes breaking trail for them. At the flat area by the rock, I tramped around, when necessary, and packed the snow into a firm ground. Then I would slip off the backpack, and the dogs would lie down and watch the unpacking of our snacks— smell all the packages that I set before us. The sun filled our encampment with warm light, and there were tall trees on either side to block any wind. We ate our snacks, protected in this nook, looking out over the meadow below—a glinting field of white and blue—and the food tasted especially savory and affected us more deeply out there. And the water, too. How cold it was. How clear.

Valley Voice

November 2017


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Saturday, December 2 9am–3pm Strawberry Park Elementary 39620 Amethyst Street handcrafted gifts a apparel F delicacies h crafts j and more

970-879-2725 Call today for your FREE estimate on any service!

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Santa Claus from 10am–2pm (bring your own camera) Great Eats & Drinks Amazing Artisans Live Music!

Let Us Assess Your Crack!

A community fundraiser for the Steamboat Springs Arts Council. For more information go to or call 970-879-9008

House Portraits


Monday - Friday: 8:00am - 4:00pm

by Cully Kistler 970-879-5575 $5.00 per square inch

In Central Park Plaza

Mon.- Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. 11-3

“mmm... pumpkin treats!” 3162 Elk River Road, P.O. Box 772498 Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Pumpkin Pumpkin treats treats available available now! now!

879-6092 Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun.—Karolina Kurkova


November 2017 B A









Valley JVoice

Buff Pass Fish Creek Res. Fish Creek Falls

Ski Time Square

Map under construction

Dry Lake

Spring Creek Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Steamboat Blvd.

Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave. Unit 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487


Burgess Creek

Rollingstone Golf Club

Fish Creek

E. Maple Street


Map Disclaimer © 2017 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

Tamarack Drive

Amethyst Drive

Amethyst Drive

Hill Top Parkway


RCR 36

Anglers Drive


Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Strawberry Hot Springs

Old Town Hot Springs

Maple Street

Missouri Ave.


Lincoln Avenue


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Yam pa Av e

Oa kS t.

Pin eS t.

Ice Rink


Fun Zone

The Howler

10 11

Lin col nA ven ue


Emerald Mountain Yam pa Riv er

12 12

Steamboat Cemetery



Crawford Ave. CMC (College)



7 8


Emerald Park Botanic Gardens

The Boulevard

Merrit Street

Pahwintah St.


4 Asp en St.


Core Trail Weiss Park

Howelsen Hill BMX Track

Ski Jumps

13 Blackmere Drive

Fart Park


Depot Art Center

For those A who live hereBand for those who C wish they did. D







Valley Voice K








November 2017 S

Mt. Werner

15 T

Rabbit Ears Pass Dumont Lake




Village Drive

Knowls Mt. Werner Circle Eagle Ridge Dr.

Tennis Bubble

Meadows Parking

Casey’s Pond

Walton Creek

Mt. Werner Road

Central Park Drive

Whistler Road


Pine Grove Road


oad eR v o r eG Pin

131 Haymaker Golf Core Trail

RCR 22

Yampa River

Fetcher Park

Stagecoach Res.

RCR 14

RCR 14f RCR 14


Steamboat Cemetery


Animal Shelter Copper Ridge

Elk River Road

129 Downhill Drive


Bob Adams Airport

Shield Drive

Yampa River

RCR 33

Steamboat Golf Club




Many knowing Q that it is not fish Rthey are after.—Henry David Thoreau N men go fishingOall of their lives without P S T


Schmac and Cheese

November 2017

Valley Voice

OPEN Monday - Saturday 4pm-2am

821 Lincoln Ave - th

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onde y Down W a W /3 1 Friday 1 folk / Americana lt 10 pm - A s rhythmic 1/4 - Poly 1 y a rd u t Sa unk 10 pm - F & funk /10 - Digg Friday 11 sion of rock, blues u F 10 pm le e Ensemb n. c n e in m E 11/11 tal/Fusio Saturday g-jam/Heady Me ro 10 pm - P Brothers Mulligan . Country, Roots e h T 6 11/1 , Alt Thursday ericana, Folk Rock m A m 10 p k Were Pin Wish You 7 /1 1 1 Friday Tribute ink Floyd 10 pm - P nk You 11/18 - Fu ck Saturday gressive Funk/Ro ro P m p 10 pht /24 - Zolo Friday 11 k Rock Reggae un 10 pm - F m Sauce garleaf 11/25 - Su l Good Colorado Ja e 10 pm - Fe

nce Night a D in t a L Sunday:

7 pm

Closed Monday:

7 pm uesday T p e t -S o Tw Tuesday:

t ay: 9 pm Wednesed/ Karaoke Contoers Snowboard k is o Kara e - Custom Sk 1st Priz est Skis by Harv


The V, Inc

924 Lincoln Ave (970) 734-4357


Tuesday Night Pool League Wednesday Night Dart League Thursday Night Open Pool Tournament

Percentage of all proceeds goes to benefit local veterans

Happy Hour Specials 4 - 6 & 10 -12

Cow Creek School House


Oh Schmiggity!

Steamboat's ONLYHour Happy Hour fromDaily 7-9 pm Schmappy 7-9 1/2 Off the entire bar;


$3 1/2 pound 100% Angus Beef Hot Dogs

Tickets online at or at All That. For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Photo by Crash Sterne

Valley Voice

WED. NOVEMBER 1 ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT book club discussions of Alexandra Fuller’s The Legend of Colton H. Bryant 5:30PM @ Library Conference Room. FREE events Author: Corbett Hart– “If You Shoot, Shoot to Kill” 5:00PM @ Off The Beaten Path Locals Appreciation Month -All FREE music Thank you for your continued support! Pre-schedule a donation for Colorado Gives Day Nov 1st – Dec 4th All donations made or scheduled for Dec 5th (Colorado Gives Day) will be boosted by a $1M statewide incentive. THURSDAY NOVEMBER 2 Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot FREE. Every Thursday in October ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT book club discussions of Alexandra Fuller’s The Legend of Colton H. Bryant 5:30PM @ Library Conference Room. FREE events NaNoWriMo Write-Ins at Off The Beaten Path 6PM-9PM Every Thurday in November (not Nov. 23) FRIDAY NOVEMBER 3 Boutique Gift Shop 11AM-5PM @ Art Depot November – December 28 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Every Other Friday in October. Contact sstew@ for info. Art Explorers 3:30PM-5:30PM @ Art Depot

November 2017

Calendar of Free Events To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month. Drop-ins welcome, $20 a class. Every Friday in November (not Nov. 24) First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. Super Fun Steamboat Show 8PM @ The Chief Theater Details to Come. www. Way Down Wonders 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SATURDAY NOVEMBER 4 Weekend Warriors Noon-2PM @ Art Depot Drop-ins welcome, $20 a class. Every Saturday in November (not Nov. 25) Polyrhythmics 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. SUNDAY NOVEMBER 5 Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Salsa Lessons) FREE. Every Sunday in November

Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons) FREE. Every Tuesday in November

THURS. NOVEMBER 16 The Mulligan Brothers 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com Senior Teas 2PM & 3PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum FRIDAY NOVEMBER 17

Karaoke Night & Contest 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. Every Wednesday in November

Wish You Were Pink 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT FINALE! Award-winning author Alexandra Fuller talks about The Legend of Colton H. Bryant . 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE. FRIDAY NOVEMBER 10 Digg 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SAT. NOVEMBER 11 Festival of Trees Daily, November 11-20, 11AM-5PM @ the Tread of Pioneers Museum. FREE for all Routt County locals. Eminence Ensemble 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com



Adult Creativity Classes 6PM-8:30PM @ Art Depot Drop-ins welcome, $30 a class.Every Tuesday in November

Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “Moka,” French with English subtitles 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE events

History Happy Hour – “Ute History and Conflicts” With author and historian Peter Decker 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewery, 2875 Elk River Rd. FREE.




Poetry Slam 6:00PM @ Off The Beaten Path. FREE. NOTE: There will be no poetry slam in the month of December. This is the last session of 2017!


SAT. NOVEMBER 18 Pioneer Christmas Storytime in the Trees 11AM & 2PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum

Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily

McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays

O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily

The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Pit on 5th 2:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily

Cantina Mexican Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily

Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.

Author: Jessica Prather – “The Traitor’s Crux” 2:00PM @ Off The Beaten Path

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs., Fri.,Sat.

Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Colorado High 5 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Funk You 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily

Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday


Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Scholarship Day @ Steamboat Ski Area Passes Not Valid This Day things-to-do/events/scholarship-day THURS. NOVEMBER 23 Happy Thanksgiving! FRIDAY NOVEMBER 24 Zolopht 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SAT. NOVEMBER 25 Small Business Saturday! Surprise someone with a subscription to the Valley Voice this year! Sugarleaf 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m. Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily: Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

All strange and terrible events are welcome, but comforts we despise.—Cleopatra


November 2017

Valley Voice

First Friday Artwalk November 3, 2017 5 pm - 8 pm All over downtown ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave 970.439.8196 The first of its kind in Steamboat Springs, Gallery 89 is a hip, contemporary art space which troubles ordinary aesthetic boundaries. Uniting past and future, local and international, tradition and the avant-garde, Gallery 89 stuns with carefully curated masterworks from Italy, Spain, and Poland along with the Boat’s best local talent. JACE ROMICK GALLERY 813 Lincoln Ave. inside The Chief Theater 970.846.8377 Jace Romick’s photography capturing the American West and its lifestyle, paired with handcrafted artisanal frames to compliment his engaging photos. MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822 Legendary nature photographer Tomas D. Mangelsen has traveled throughout the world for over 40 years photographing the Earth’s last great wild places. PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St 970.879.2787 JENNIFER BAKER, PRISMATIC WINDOWS functional glass bowls and platters made from colorful glass pieces and kiln fired. Accompanying Jennifer is CAROL JEAN abstract art.

STEAMBOAT ART MUSEUM 807 Lincoln Ave., 970.870.1755 Steamboat Art Museum Plein Air Event paintings created throughout the Yampa Valley by 50 regional and national artists the last week of September 2017. Leather Artist Dan Rhodus and Photographer Cyndi Marlowe will be at the Museum Store.


STEAMBOAT SPRINGS ARTS COUNCIL AT THE DEPOT 1001 13th St. 970.879.9008 “GIFT” In celebration of the holiday, artist members feature small works of art. A boutique gift shop will fill the platform gallery with note card bundles, ornaments and other handmade gifts.

9th and Oak 970.846.0828 Cas The Wulf Wilhelm –Tattooer: “Art will survive, the artists will not. Each of these canvases holds a piece of my life. Please enjoy generously.”

STEAMBOAT SPRINGS CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave 970.846.8119 Join us for a lively fall evening featuring great new work from our emerging local artists in all mediums. Complimentary wine. W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave., 970.846.1783 Painters Pat Walsh and Dawn Wilde combine talents working from the same photograph to create diverging paintings around a similar theme. Through October in W Gallery. WILD HORSE GALLERY 802 Lincoln Ave., 879-5515 Wild Horse Gallery will feature Nancy Boren’s oil paintings of cowgirls. For more information go to www.wildhorsegallery. com or call 970-819-2850. Timber will also make a celebrity appearance!

HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave 970.879.1919 “Critters Are Us” A two-artist show featuring critters by Ryan Keating and Al Reiner including photos and mixed media of birds, fish, butterflies and other species, wild and tame.

THE SKI LOCKER 941 Lincoln Avenue, #100a, 303.882.4927 Featuring Julia Dordoni, an impressionist who specializes in vibrant landscapes and active urban scenes. From Boulder biergartens to the Maroon Bells, Dordoni is a Colorado talent not to be missed. STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave 941.321.2809 Blind Contour: Self Portraits YPC member self portraits done by looking at themselves in a mirror and drawing what they see without looking at what they are doing. Mediums vary from pen and paper to embroidery on fabric. URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave 970.879.9169 Local Colorado Snowboard Company Nightmare, takes over the walls of Urbane. Nightmare’s edgy and often dark artwork brings a unique twist to the Artwalk.

Milner Mall

Twins architectural salvage yard designed to divert reusable materials from the landfill. We accept donated materials from the community and sell them at nominal prices.

Material Recovery Facility

Twin's on-site recycling center featuring the one of a kind sorting machinery, "The Revolution". The recycled materials are separated by commodities, sold and ultimately used in new products.

Composting Program

Twin processes organic waste and converts it into compost which is used for soil amendments and other applications.

Support Twin Enviro Services!

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

November 2017


In The News

Trash and Cash to Moffat County In recent news it was reported that Aces High in Steamboat is hauling Routt County trash to the Moffat County Landfill near Craig. This is a 92 mile round trip compared to a 28 mile round trip to dispose of trash at the Milner Landfill. Routt County residents’ trash disposal fees are also going to Moffat County. Here’s the background: A year ago Aces High founder Steve Weinland sold his trash company to a Delaware LLC partially owned and operated by Steve Miles of Chicago. Weinland and Twin Enviro competed for customers, but the relationship was cordial, with both Waste Management and Aces High using Twin’ Enviro’s Milner Landfill. During Twin’s first meeting with Aces High new owners, Miles expressed his desire to purchase Twin’s Routt County operations and when Twin refused Miles demanded lower disposal prices for Aces at the Milner landfill. Miles also related his plans to run Waste Management out of the local market. Twin has been in the trash business in Steamboat since 1983 and was reluctant to reduce prices given the difficult operating conditions and high costs in the mountains. As a result, Miles contracted to take Aces’ trash to financially strapped Moffat County, who discounted its “out of county” rate of $70 per ton to $45. a ton. Due to the additional hauling distance for Aces and the additional operating costs required of Moffat County, it is undetermined how this deal

will work for either party. Undoubtedly this will negatively affect Twin Enviro and Routt County. The contract between Aces High and Moffat County is for two years with options for an additional three years with no price escalations. The contract requires Aces to dump an average of 7,000 tons of trash annually at the Moffat Landfill. The Moffat Landfill is required to expand its operating hours to six days a week, increase its employees, and stay open for Aces High during high wind conditions. Compliance requirements at the Moffat Landfill will probably increase with the increased volume. The contract does not prohibit Aces High from dumping recyclables in the Moffat landfill. In the short term Twin and Routt County are the big losers. Who else loses? The Environment: Aces High is now hauling your trash to Moffat County, your recycling to Denver, and your cardboard to Wolcott. Think of the extra truck miles, fuel, and risk exposure in those extra miles. All of these materials can be processed at Twin’s Milner facility. Aces will now run its trucks 64 extra miles for each round trip to Moffat. Assuming 215 loads a month that’s an extra 165,000 miles a year of 4 miles per gallon heavy truck carbon emissions in our local environment. And that’s not counting the miles to haul your recyclables to Denver and Wolcott.

Customer Service: What happens when it snows and Aces’ trucks get stopped by the weather, or worse have an accident driving your waste and recyclables those extra risky and unnecessary miles? Will Aces’ customers get dependable service? Sustainability: The Milner landfill pays fees to Routt County government based upon the disposal tonnage at Milner. Routt County uses some of those fees to support sustainability. That support may diminish due to the Moffat County contract. Local business: Some of the money Aces’ customers pay for trash and recycling services in Routt County is now heading to Moffat in support of the Moffat County Government. It will have an impact on Routt County businesses and the Milner Landfill and the Milner Mall. Twin Enviro is the local leader in environmental services and supports its Materials Recovery Facility, the Milner Mall, and its composting operations. These recycling operations are not profitable, and as Twin states in many of our ads, your trash supports Twin’s recycling efforts. Twin asks you to support the local Milner Landfill. Switch your trash service from Aces High to Twin Enviro, the locally owned and operated trash service business and a good steward of the environment. When you make the switch, you win, local businesses win, Routt County wins, and the environment wins.

Paid Advertisement A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.—Lucius Annaeus Seneca


November 2017

Valley Voice

Drink of the Month

The Right Drink for the Right Occasion By Eric Kemper

remains a matter of scholarly debate. Regardless, the fact that the pilgrims did drink beer is beyond question. Water in the 17th century was rife with disease, so beer was the safe choice for healthy hydration. Today, American beer culture flourishes. There are more breweries in America today than at any other time since Prohibition. The styles and flavors available run the gamut and come in most any flavor you can imagine. In this season when we gather with family and friends, to share in the giving of thanks and to feast on the harvest of plenty, the things you choose to drink should be every bit the match for the food you eat. In that spirit, here are a few suggestions for your holiday table:

Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It has only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are all it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell. The story of America itself is inextricably linked to beer. Legend tells that the Mayflower pilgrims ended up in Plymouth rather than Virginia because they were running low on beer and needed to come ashore to brew. Whether this is a fact or merely a convenient story concocted by beer companies before Prohibition to attempt to shield themselves by hearkening back to history and heritage

Lagers-- Lagers are the most popular style of beer in America. Clean and crisp, they are refreshing and generally inoffensive enough to go with any meal, especially one as delicious as Thanksgiving dinner. The downside here is their commonness. Something is less special if you have it all the time, so step your game up and branch out a little. Even if lagers are what you truly like best, branch out and try something new. Lone Tree Brewing’s Mexican Lager just won Gold in its category at the GABF. Stouts-- Heavy and dark, stouts are a robust beer well suited to the darker and colder months. I don’t find them the best match for the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but everyone’s tastes are their own alone. I enjoy a nice Imperial Stout in the evening after dinner when the leftovers are put away and the board games have come out. Ciders-- Ciders are old and traditional, yet at the same time, an expanding new frontier in the field of craft beer. Dry ciders feature the crispness of a good lager, but with a distinct flavor all their own. Sam Smith’s is the classic standard by which all others are measured. Sours-- Not the first beer most people think of, period, let alone as an accompaniment to Thanksgiving dinner. However, it works brilliantly, and it is in fact what I myself will be having. The depth of flavors is incredible, and the acidity of the beer makes for an excellent palate cleanser. My favorite for this meal is Russian River’s Temptation, aged in Chardonnay barrels. Pumpkin beer-- Pumpkin ales have become a staple of the season. A uniquely American beer, they exemplify so much of what there is to love about fall.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

A heartier base beer, such as a brown ale, is used and the best ones have a balance of both real pumpkin flavor and a nice but not overwhelming bouqet of spices. Buffalo Bill’s was the first, but, based on sheer popularity, Dogfish Head might do it consistently the best. Enjoy one with your slice of pie. *** On a non-beer note, November also features several special annual releases. One of the most coveted is the Buffalo Trace Antique Collection, and specifically, Pappy Van Winkle. Pappy is a wheated bourbon , aged for periods of up to 12, 15, 20 or even 23 years. Hard to lay hands on at local stores due to ridiculously high demand, a secondary market flourishes. Enjoy neat or over a single cube, on special occasions, often with important business partners. *** Whatever brew you choose, may you enjoy it with loved ones and have a safe, healthy and very Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers!


T a v s a

W “ r

A a c a t

O o t fl w t

Valley Voice

November 2017


Here Knitty-Knitty

The Thought That Counts By LA Bourgeois

On Sunday, September 17th, my wife had a stroke. The event struck me down. I functioned as necessary, alternating between knitting like a good little wife and advocating for my patient. At night, I curled into my house, sharing the news with friends and sleeping as soon as I allowed my head to hit the pillow. When the case manager (our liason with the rest of our “care team”) declared that my wife would be entering a rehab facility, I knew she wasn’t going to die. As I read the brochure for the rehab hospital, I noted that any floral arrangements needed to be transported by your caregiver. As the words entered my brain, a gorgeous floral arrangement showed up at the door. I smiled and thanked the delivery man while sighing inside. Our dear friends, Joe and Arthur (not their real names), on their way to enjoy a gay time in Paris, took a moment to send her this amazing arrangement. Their favorite florist created a perfect combination of happy sunflowers with small purple and orange blossoms unfurling through the greenery. I couldn’t help but smile.

I eyed the bottom of the vase and decided that I had a pretty good chance of transporting the whole thing in the cupholder between the front seats of the car.

Time for a decision. I didn’t know where to go, so I was going to have to use the GPS on my phone. However, I’ve muted that sucker for a long, long time. I prefer to look at the directions since my ability to follow spoken directions is less than optimal.

The transport team showed up a half-hour later. With practiced eyes, they scanned the room and began to fill my arms with tissues, a respiratory tester, a pair of socks, a comb.

With one hand on the wheel, an elbow attempting to balance the flowers and the phone in my other hand, I pulled out of the parking lot and attempted to read the directions.

“You’ve already paid for them. Might as well take them with you.” They pointedly passed over the sunflowers. “You know we can’t transport the flowers.” “No vases in the van,” the woman sang out. “They’ll have to go with you.” I dumped the bits of detritus into the white plastic bag the hospital had packed with her clothing when she came into the Emergency Room. As the bag filled further and further, I felt my body beginning to collapse under the weight of that bag, the duffel with her clothing, my knitting bag, my travel cup, my purse, the floral arrangement. One of the transport team noticed and insisted on adding her one piece of medical equipment to the gurney.

Plus, that mechanized voice is creepy!

Safety first! Hopelessly lost and in danger of breaking the vase within three minutes, I managed to stop and check the map at a stop sign. I was further from the rehab facility now than I was when I left the hospital. Dang it! I turned on the creepy voice, cursing the floral delivery elf! Still hampered in my driving by balancing the arrangement, I managed to pull into the parking lot of the rehab hospital without being a danger to others in only five more minutes. The transport team had beaten me there. Grabbing the vase of sunflowers, I wandered the hall and found my sweetie in her new bed. She smiled as she viewed my nemesis on her bedside table. No one could look at those sunny flowers without smiling. Well, no one but me. And even I gave in after a few moments of knitting.

-LA Bourgeois knits around town (and swears she only uses the creepy voice directions now) as she explores her new environs in North Carolina. Follow her adventures at

FYI – that piece of medical equipment is this high tech gadget meant to monitor her heartbeat. Once a day it sends the data to her “heart rhythm doctor.” Doesn’t that just sound like Barry White is on the other end of the line, waiting to listen? Or is it just a good name for a band? I can’t decide. Like a good little burro, I hauled everything downstairs and got most stuff settled in the car. Then, I tried to put the vase in the cupholder. It was barely too big. Like barely. It tipped almost into the holder and then refused to descend. The space left just enough play to make the whole thing hard to manage as it swayed. Damn those gay boys and their fabulous florist! Why couldn’t he have been a touch chintzier with the vase size?

Never Miss an Issue! Go Old School!

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There is room in the smallest cottage for a happy loving pair.—Friedrich Schiller


November 2017

Valley Voice

Keep the feast on the table not under it! Overindulging in the family feast can be unhealthy for humans, but even worse for pets! Many foods that are healthy for people are poisonous to pets – including onions, raisins and grapes.

Holiday sweets can contain ingredients that are also poisonous to pets.

Pet Kare is Proud to be available 24/7 for on call emergency services including all holidays. We are giving thanks this month for our loyal clients and their pets. 102 Anglers Drive


Hayden Branch

101 N. 6th Street


750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail:

The Wandering Rose


Winter moved in without a word of warning. Color did not hold tightly to the trees, instead falling quickly and silently to the ground, only to be reflected even more brightly in evening skies. Coyote slipped through tall grasses, moose flocked down mountains while bear raided berries and trash before their long sleep. Geese and ducks hurried past familiar landscapes to warmer places to settle. Frost sparkled in the crisp mornings, catching the light of the stars, twinkling here on earth. Snows came frequently with strong gusts of wind, stripping away summer and fall with a single breath. A child followed the snow until home disappeared. Child wavered between awe and fear at the white flurries that had swallowed his familiar world. He felt cold start in his fingers and toes. He hated his hat but pulled the wool tighter around his face as his cheeks turned bright red from wind blustering against soft skin. Child kept walking, not knowing where he was going, only knowing he wanted to be warm again, wanted to feel his mother’s arms around him, wanted to feel safe. A fox flashed in front of him, then beyond him, out of reach. Boy chased, momentarily forgetting he was lost, only wanting to see the truth of something so wild, something that called to the wild inside of him. When he stopped running, sweat on his body started to turn cold. Little shivers started, moving through his body, shaking him ever so slightly. He found a moraine, climbed up and sat down and began to cry. Tears quickly turned cold against cheeks. Boy thought he might never know comfort again. Snows fell harder and even the largest animals of the forest bedded down to weather the storm. Light seeped from the sky as boy pulled knees into chest, wrapped arms around them and tucked face into chest. There were no thoughts of dying because boy did not understand what

death was. As his body shivered, and his body became strangely warm in cold, he thought only of sleep, of a deep, deep sleep without dreams. Wild girl wandered woods, snows landing on eyelashes and nose. In the air was fear. Scent sharp and distinct, one often left by prey. This smell was different; there was innocence in fear. Wild girl followed the scent. There were no footprints to show her the way. Nothing remained of what was before. Snow had taken all of that away. Wild girl trusted her instincts, closed her eyes until the smell was upon her. When she opened her eyes, before her was a lump covered in snow, still. Very still. Small boy was staring ahead. Breath shallow. Wild girl gathered him in her arms. Boy held tightly to her body. She hurried through snows, following the path drawn into her soul. She crawled into her cave, set boy on her bed of furs and wrapped him in tightly. Fire was started, one stick at a time, smoke lingering before being pulled out into night’s air. Boy unmoving. Under girl’s care, fire grew, burning brightly against dirt walls. Heat filled the cave. Boy moaned. Girl was careful not to bring him too close to flames for fear they would do more damage than good. She warmed broth for the child, the broth of wild birds. Boy barely opened his mouth, taking in warmth all around him. Eventually his eyes fluttered opened and he saw and he cried for his mother. Wild girl held him in her arms, not the arms of a mother, but her own circle of arms. Girl rocked boy and whispered stories to him that she had never shared before. And in her words he fell asleep. If girl moved, boy startled awake. Wild girl curled up against him, both wrapped in furs to wait for snows to cease. With innocence and trust pressed against her, girl slept deeply, more deeply than ever before. Sun crept into the entrance of the cave. Boy woke. Face flushed, he stretched lazily looking at empty walls. He turned to wild girl. ‘Thank you,’ he said. She let him out of her embrace. Sun was bright and world colder than night. They began their journey to find his home. The girl had found hers, alone, many years ago. Boy walked until his feet froze, then wild girl let him climb up on her back. Cold never entered wild girl for she chose only to feel warmth. With sun, white hawk searched for food. Rainbow chose color instead of pale. Children played. Winter stayed and a simple thank you tied two people together for life.

Make your Holidays Safe and Sober For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

The average price of a DUI has gone up to $13,530 in Colorado Remember that serving to anyone under 21 (even in your home) is illegal according to the Social Host Ordinance.

Valley Voice

November 2017


Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

MEN - What are you really looking for in a date?

It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

This particular column might be stretching the basic concept of dating well into the full blown relationship model. But, I don’t care. It’s where it all starts and first impressions are crushingly important. So let’s be clear – Men, what do you want? Before that complex question of the ages can be addressed, let me ask you this – are you a Man or a Guy? And when I ask, I ask in a nonjudgmental, rhetorical, I could care less about you, sort of way. Figure it out for yourself and take an honest look in the mirror; even ask a friend. Guys usually fall into the fraternity types, the weekend warriors, the beer out of can and face painting mouth breathers. Guys hang with other like-minded guys and might get into a fight with other guys (cause fuck those assholes Right!). Guys like to start the weekend party scene by Crushin’ some Puss. Guys call women bitches, talk about how they would spank dat ass. And out loud in monosyllabic terms describe that woman’s “parts”; boasting about how much more of a woman she will be after he is through with her parts. Yes, Guys sound like adolescent boys because they have not or will not evolve out of that level of locker room maturity. Of course, I am speaking in generalities here. Yes, there are exceptions to the classification. Of course, I wasn’t saying these things to pick on those small-minded dolts who have yet to figure out why they are on their second/third marriage and fourth girlfriend in a year who left them for someone far better. Guys view love and compassion as weaknesses, instead of virtues. Guys usually have a criminal record or the personality that brags that they should. It is possible a guy can grow up and become man. Also, adolescent boys ALL go through this stage. They have the opportunity to make the choice of which path feels right for them. One path may take them into their 20’s and then they switch because it is more in their nature. Guys are the type of male that are looking for one of the following: A Play Toy – This college-level fun is awesome when you are in college. If you missed out on having this type of fun, bummer for you. There is always a chance to have it later in life. But what if you only want a play toy? For years or decades, this type of date - fun and sexual - is what makes you get out of the house every day. Well good for you! That’s how Guys want to live life. Being a giant penis conquering the world of women. Proving to the world of women everyday that your penis is the only penis of choice.

A Wife/Baby Maker – There are some Guys who hear the call of the wild and proclaim “Yeah, I could be a dad.” And so they set out the magnets of attraction to find a Wife and/or Baby Maker. They will use the term wife and say they are ready to get married. The harsher truth is they are still a guy who will hang with his bros; leaving the baby maker home to do “you know, housewife stuff”. The guy makes the money and the wife does everything else. And I mean everything else. Very traditional 1950’s concept of housewife. She is not one of the GUYS and will never be one. She is viewed as less than equal and is treated as such. “Bear my sons so my lineage may continue.” He says in a rather medieval baritone voice … and another beer while yer at it. What I have described here are categories of mental and physical lifestyle choice. At anytime, both parties can engage in making it a reality and the next moment, either party can say they don’t want this anymore. No one has to live like this, but the truth is that there are both men and women who make these situations a reality. Some folks will be mad at me for saying it out loud, but both sides of the description are true and all parties to the crime of it are at fault because, consciously or unconsciously, they want it. The other side of the Male species – Being a Man. Men know that love and compassion are strengths and virtues. Using their mind is just as valuable as using their muscles. That making your partner look good in any situation, makes the partnership stronger. A man knows when to take the lead and when to let the right man for the job take over. A real man knows when to stop, when to shut up and when it’s over. He doesn’t HAVE to always make a point; or to make it about him. A man doesn’t bully to get his way. He supports, encourages and educates those younger or less experienced. Men can encompass aspects of being a guy, but with a sharp distinction – they know when to stop being a guy and get back to being a man. I’ll say here, being a Guy, at times, is fun. No two ways about it. I have had my guy fun and loved it. Playing paintball with the guys. Finding a play friend for a weekend. Drinking and being loud like a

guy. Yuppers, it was fun. And then my dad’s voice rang in my ear “You want to party like a guy the night before, you better damn well get up and go to work like a man the next day.” And I did, like a man. What a Man is looking for? A Partner in Life. The Chinese Yin Yang symbol is one of the most beautifully simple examples of life. In a true partnership, we are both strong and weak for and with each other. An interpretation of the Yin Yang is that it is turning and not stationary. As a healthy loving relationship is always evolving, adapting and being reborn into something stronger then it was the day before. A man hopes to find a partner who will bring to the relationship an attitude that fosters growth of the partnership, while both partners never lose their own sense of independence. I don’t have to write much about being a man because there is something in all of us that knows this to be the better path. We need more men in the world, though it is the much harder path to take. Are there traits of both on either side of the coin? Of course, from time to time and various situations. In dealing with the human nature there are no absolutes. I think my words here are true and yet fabulously academic and wishful as well. To know if any of this is concrete in your life, look around. Find examples of what I have written here and observe them; about yourself or friends. If you are brave enough, ask them questions and find out if your observations are true. That’s how I did it. Not a single person can see the back of their own head. You can do it, I believe in you.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column. Up next from Mr. Helpful – Perfumes and Colognes – Aromatic lures for catching a great date OR the kiss of death, you smelly stanky chemical drenched faker?

However, the rest of the world sees these types as sad and delusional clowns; selfishly masturbating with different vaginas. Never truly achieving higher levels of human consciousness, which is our birthright. Low minded victims of baser pleasures who can barely escape this insult, let alone their own dharma.

Love all, trust few, do wrong to none.—William Shakespeare


November 2017

Valley Voice

Energetically Speaking

The 50th Reunion! By Fred Robinson

The reunion had events for three days and we had lots of time to explore my former home town, which is on Lake Minnetonka. It was good to find out how wonderful my classmates are. We took a tour of the high school and it was fun filling in lost memories from 50 years ago. We all had dinner at a nearby country club and got to socialize and catch up with our lives. One classmate looked like he stepped out of a time machine from the sixties and his wife/high school sweetheart looked even better. They told me how they like to take a few ski trips with their kids every winter and wish their knees didn’t hurt so much now. Well, that gave me a chance to tell them how Kombucha repaired my knees over thirty years ago. Another classmate worked for General Mills and told me they were the largest supplier of Stevia, an organic sweetener made from leaves. She had no idea how helpful Stevia is in fighting Lyme disease.

Last month my wife Nancy and dog Ziggy accompanied me to Wayzata, Minnesota for my 50th HS reunion in our Multi-Fuel Hummer. The CNG (Compressed Natural Gas) infrastructure has grown enough to allow the whole drive to be made without buying ANY gasoline. We took two different routes going and coming home that both had a CNG station every two hundred miles. This was not possible five years ago, or even two years ago. There are also enough E85, Ethanol, dispensers at gas stations to allow the same trip to be made with that fuel too, but it does have a little gasoline in it. I originally modified Otto, the Hummer H2H2, to run on pure Hydrogen when it was new in 2003. The first step in that process was adding a different fuel storage and metering system for CNG, which is mostly Hydrogen and just a tiny bit of carbon. Well, there still aren’t very many Hydrogen stations and CNG has 80% lower exhaust emissions than gasoline. Running on Hydrogen produces no exhaust emissions.

On the day we hiked around Medicine Lake, Ziggy learned about squirrels. We probably saw thirty squirrels and it was lucky we had a leash or Ziggy would still be there. The next morning at the hotel she heard something when she woke up and I said it was a squirrel, Ziggy ran to the window and poked her head through the curtain to see if it was true. OK, CFES stands for Clean Fuel Education Station. My main goal in life is to educate about non-petroleum fuels and how we can help the environment, economy, and maybe even stop some of the wars by using less gasoline and DIEsel. My vision is for a fuel station that sells Ethanol, Biodiesel, CNG, Hydrogen, Propane, and would have charging outlets for Electric vehicles. The Education part would be easy, with a few displays around the restaurant that sells real food, like homemade soup, a fish sandwich, or a hamburger made from fresh local ground beef. The only problem is finding a way to pay for the first one. I think the idea will blossom from there. A live map showing CNG stations is available at

A Closer Look

Integrative Medicine By Monica Yager Integrative medicine is generally referred to as the combination of alternative practices such as homeopathy, acupuncture, massage, herbs, supplements, special oils, and other unconventional therapies with conventional, evidence based medicine. The alternative practices, normally delivered by non-health professionals, are usually claimed to be supportive care to improve quality of life or alleviate symptoms and sometimes bigger claims are made, like treating the actual condition. These practices, sometimes called complementary alternative medicine, or CAM, are commonly offered in medical institutions. But, since the standard for alternative practices is low scientific evidence, does integrating it with evidence based medicine actually create substandard care? More importantly, how are patients affected by integrated care? This is an area of science-based medicine called quality of life, or QOL, that is starting to be studied. So far, the results suggest a range of possible outcomes when CAM is used concurrently with conventional cancer care, with the best possible outcome being no effect on QOL or survival, to the worst possible outcome being the worsening of QOL and shorter survival. It appears that CAM has no beneficial effects, but may provide limited, subjective benefits, meaning whatever the practitioner suggests the patient will feel, will likely be felt by the patient. If the patient is told they will feel relaxation, the patient will experience that sensation, at least for a short time. So it turns out that CAM or integrated medicine is not all that special, but when medical institutions promote it, the best interests of the patient are lost. Bahall M. Prevalence, patterns, and perceived value of complementary and alternative medicine among cancer patients: a cross-sectional, descriptive study. BMC Complementary and Alternative Medicine. 2017;17:345. doi:10.1186/s12906-017-1853-6. Quality of Life in CAM and Non-CAM Users among Breast Cancer Patients during Chemotherapy in Malaysia Ping Lei Chui, Khatijah Lim Abdullah, Li Ping Wong, Nur Aishah Taib PLoS One. 2015; 10(10): e0139952. Published online 2015 Oct 9. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0139952

Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Minneapolis, MN and attended Colorado Northwest Community College (CNCC) and Colorado Mountain College (CMC) Arts & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative health world from the perspective of a former owner of a health food store. Everyone can and should take a closer look, especially when it comes to their health.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

November 2017

A Mystic’s Life


By Lorre Buss

Embarking on a New Course

They’ll Leave A Light On For You so, we need to be open and receptive to the possibility. We can’t force it; we can only be willing to allow it and remain alert for whatever comes.

By Marian Tolles

Several weeks after my fiancé, Clif, died, I heard the chimes on my front porch. I got up from my seat on the living room couch and looked out the window, expecting to see signs of wind. The leaves on the lilac bush outside were still. “Huh,” I said, “it must be windier than it seems.” I later learned from a psychic medium that Clif laughed at my ignorance, because it was him all along.

Once I sailed on a small white ship,

After her son died, my friend Judy noticed a particular lamp in her home was frequently lit. It sat in a room that Frank used to use when he visited. She turned the light off only to find it burning brightly the next time she passed by. Considered the easiest channel for spirits to communicate with us, electricity is a common method used by our dearly departed. Be that as it may, I had never experienced that tactic…until Ivan.

“Your mother recently died? “No, she don’t die, she jus’ release herself from her earthly body, jus’ like she keep tellin’ me she got to do. But she with me right now. We jus’ can’t see her.” Kathleen Grissom Glory Over Everything My mom died five weeks after my dad. After her visitation, I needed to retrieve a voice mail from Dad’s cell phone. I didn’t know the password to check messages, so I decided to ask. “Dad! What’s the password for voicemail?” In my mind’s ear, I clearly heard “Tony.” Dad’s name would be easy for him to remember. This made perfect sense and I entered the code.

We met as members of a writing group in which I shared a bit of the story of my life with Clif and my experience of his passing. A materialist, Ivan was uncomfortable with my allusions to life after death. He spoke disparagingly about my inclusion of such information. Then, one evening sometime following the disbanding of the group, we all gathered together at Ivan’s house to bid him adieu. He was bedridden and dying of cancer. I brought a couple readings from Clif’s memorial service to share, but it never seemed appropriate until I prepared to leave.

listing slightly in the slip, flying flags of an obscure Liberian line, reeking richly of oil and brine and other things I couldn’t quite define. Gulls hovered, shrieked and swooped at bow and stern While in the bowels the engines, shuddering, began to churn sweat-soaked sailors scurried, then at last cast free the lines that bound me to my past. Sturdy tugboats nudged us broadside out to sea. I strained to see you standing on the quay, your figure dwindling next to packing crate and crane, three ship’s blasts signaling the pain of parting, not to meet again.

I hugged Ivan and kissed him on the cheek. Then I laid the poems on his bedside table. I said something about not knowing if he’d like them, but maybe he’d find them helpful. Then I went home and forgot all about it. Eventually, I received word that Ivan had journeyed to the Great Beyond. I did not attend his funeral, having felt no need. Soon after Ivan’s passing, I noticed a ceiling light was on in my home. It was broad daylight. I walked over to the switch, flipped off the light, and went about my business. Within minutes, the light was shining again. “Hmm,” I said aloud. “I thought I just turned that light off.”

“That didn’t work! What’s the password?”

Again I flipped the switch. As I did so, Ivan popped into mind, along with a strong feeling that he’d read the verses I’d left for him and found them to be true: release into death allows for a more beautiful, broad view than we have here on earth.

For a moment there was silence, as if he was thinking. Then I heard his voice again. “One, two, three, four.” I entered the numbers, and voila! I was in!

“Right on, Ivan!” I said joyfully to the ceiling. My acknowledgement was all he needed. The next time I turned the light off, it stayed that way.

Communication with our loved ones in spirit can come in myriad ways, and we can’t dictate the method. We can, however, connect with them at any time. It’s said the veil between the worlds is thinnest at the end of October and early November. It makes sense that Halloween, All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day and Dia de los Muertos fall at this time when the dead and the living can most easily mingle. Now is an opportune time to connect with them. In order to do

Know that your loved one who has transitioned is still with you. Though the lack of physical presence takes some getting used to, the two of you can easily communicate. It’s best to leave to them the decision of what sign they provide, but your loved ones want to ease your heart and let you know they are fine. Don’t be afraid to ask. One way or another, they’ll leave a light on for you.

“The password you entered is not correct,” said the electronic voice.


By Cully Kistler

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.—William James


November 2017

Valley Voice


Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

Although going to the Gap and discretely posing the mannequins in sexually inappropriate ways is amusing to you, please reconsider the mannequins at Baby Gap and the years of therapy the traumatized children will require.


April 20 - May 20

You will finally get fed up and frame your neighbor for a serious crime, followed by turning them in for the reward money. It may have not been the right thing to do, but you could only ask them to bring their trash can in so many times.


May 20 - June 20


June 21 - July 22

No one will find you funny when you tell the joke about a priest, a rabbi and a reverend walking into a bar and not drinking alcohol.... for religious reasons.

RECREATIONAL SALES ONLY. Happy Hour is 7pm-10pm daily.

Not to be combined with any other discounts. Golden Leaf does not condone public consumption.

Sometimes it’s not a compliment when people tell you that you have a resemblance to a Barbie doll, especially when they mean the Barbie that your brother might have deformed as a kid. Your head is replaced with a lizard head, you’re missing an impossibly tall high heel shoe and you are yet to grow nipples.


July 23 - August 23

No matter how bad it might seem, at least the elephants haven’t decided to go nuts and squash your head into a red gooey jelly. Seriously. That would really suck.


August 23 - September 22

An unusual circumstance will drive you to watch Titanic for the seventh time this week. That’s some serious dedication to cold ass people on a sinking boat.

By Cully Kistler


Recreational & Medical

1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


September 23 - October 23

For someone that is frightened of global nuclear devastation, you might want to avoid that hot date you were invited on this weekend. If you do decide to go, remember not to press the red button, no matter how much they plead, don’t talk to any foreign strangers and consider purchasing a haz-mat suit.


October 24 - November 21

If you don’t want your mind blown, stay far away from gun ranges, firework stands and five year olds on a sugar buzz. Just saying.


November 22 - December 21

It will take some time to accept and understand your new relationship with the mailman, the guy down the street and four midgets with possible bipolar disorders. You once considered them friends, but now they may be considered your lovers.


December 22 - January 19

Sometimes it’s good that dogs don’t act the age they would be in human years. If they did, that would mean you would have a 45-year-old dogman serving you divorce papers, growing a mustache and buying a motorcycle.


January 20 - February 18

No one will pay $11.50 admission into your garage because you claim that you have captured a monkey named Jesus who is riding a real life dinosaur. Maybe if you charge a little less, they will believe you.


February 19 - March 20

Childproofing your house is intended for children. Not protecting your drunken delinquent friends from themselves.

Valley Voice

November 2017



November 2017

Valley Voice




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4th and Lincoln (on 4th Street next to Table 79)

Good November 1, 2017 – December 15, 2017. Not valid with any other promotions, coupons or discounts. For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

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