July 2017 . Issue 6.7
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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa
Artwork by Cully Kistler
Photo by Julie McNally
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Contents Support Your Local By Eric Kemper
Steamboat Springs’ Household Income
Racism in Northwestern Colorado
Most Americans Lie to Themselves
Steamboat’s Creative Tribes
The Thrill of a Lifetime
Writers Connect with Other Writers
Even Fly Fishing is Hazardous to Fish
By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield By Scott L. Ford
By Dagny McKinley By Karen Vail
By Dagny McKinley By Barbara Sparks
Sales: Eric Kemper firstname.lastname@example.org Event Calendar: Eric Kemper email@example.com Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.yampavalleyvoice.com. Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.
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Comics Page 15 News from the Chief of the Chief
Calendar of Events
By Scott Parker By Nina Rogers
Crossing the double yellow line. Unless you’re driving an ambulance, you can slow down. You’ll get your chance to pass when it’s less likely you’ll kill someone... Well problems… Losing a dear friend… First World problems… Living on Buff Pass and all your stuff gets stolen…
Raves... America. Still the greatest nation on Earth, despite everything going on… Real actual summer. It’s a short, glorious season in the mountains. Enjoy every minute…
And The Murders Began
Land of the Free
The Rockies. Look who’s still playing well this far into the summer…
The Flag Forever
The Knife Show
Break Up With Them Already
Vitamins and More Vitamins
“You’re about to sit on Pringles.”
Hope Plus Rain
“I can smell that scarecrow’s armpit from here”
When Your Besty Wants to Go Too
Yampa Valley Health Care Group
By Lyn Wheaton
By Wandering Rose By Mandy Miller
By Aimee Kimmey
By Mr. Helpful M.D. By Monica Yager By LA Bourgeois By Debora Black
By Nancy Spillane
Yepelloscopes Page 30 By Chelsea Yepello
Dale Boberg Tribute
The Howler is finally opening… Yampa Street is getting some curb treatment…
“If I could unmeet some people, I would” “Can you City Council people bring back Staples?” “Where’s the free in that?” “There is no angry way to say bacon” “Did that construction cone just wink at me?”
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Rants... America. Have we all lost our minds??!!??...
By Scott L. Ford
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America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. –Harry S Truman
Drink of the Month
Support Your Local By Eric Kemper
According to figures released earlier this year by the BA, of the 5,301 breweries in America, 5,234 of them are Craft Breweries.
Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It has only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are all it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell. The modern day story of beer is an expansive one, exploding in scope while simultaneously diverging in focus. Every year, more and more American breweries open; there are currently more than 5,000 across the country. The vast, overwhelming majority of these breweries are craft breweries, defined by the Brewers Association as small or independent beer makers.
Despite the numerical advantage in terms of facilities producing craft beer, craft beer’s market share by volume is only 12.3% of all the beer sold in America. The rest of those beer sales are a combination of imported beer and industrial, large scale domestic beer. Increasingly, the consumer’s options of who makes their beer have been dramatically shrinking as we enter the age of the great beer merger. InBev, a Belgian conglomerate, bought Anheuser Busch, creating AB InBev, the world’s largest beer maker. Not satisfied with that expansion (shareholder value, you must understand), AB InBev bought SAB Miller. The new company controls about 30% of the global market share; along with Heineken, Carlsberg and C.R. Snow Breweries, Ltd., these four beer makers control 50% of the global market. It is this homogenization that makes the explosive growth of craft breweries all the more vital. In this sense, the beer industry is following an Old World model, in which every town, village and hamlet has their own local brewery that the residents hold up with pride and order almost without a second thought. These local breweries have the pulse on their communities and whether they brew the beer that everyone in their communities love, or everyone in the community comes
to love the beer brewed by their local brewer, becomes somewhat of a chicken-and-egg question. The revival of “lost” styles like Gose and Flemish Reds can be traced back to craft brewers finding someone else’s local beer, realizing how great it is, and bringing it back for the people in their own local communities to enjoy. Colorado has long been an epicenter for the great beer movement. Steamboat until recently was behind the curve, but we too have caught up and have a plethora of great local beers to choose from. Mahogany Ridge, Storm Peak & Mountain Tap all make excellent beer and should be checked out, but it is pretty definitive: Right here, right now, in the summer of 2017, Butcherknife Brewing is the local. Butcherknife is Steamboat’s first production brewery, and their distinctive tap handles and cans can be found all over town. The taproom, located just a short distance down Elk River Road, is definitely a Steamboat highlight not to be missed. The Hefeweisen, Buzzcock Mild & Amputator IPA, in their ubiquitous pint cans, are the perfect accompaniment to grilling, hiking, biking, a day on the river, or anything else that has you out in the mountains for the day. Which brings us to the beer: The craft brewing movement has in many ways become an IPA driven movement, and Butcherknife’s IPA is a crushable, approachable psycho called Amputator. Fresh and lively with Centennial hops, Amputator nonetheless has a solid malt backbone with an underlying breadyness that softens any of the aggressive edges. For all of its easy drinkability, Amputator is 7.2%, so it can go to your head quicker than you expect; this goes double if you’re in from a significantly lower altitude. Proceed with care, as you would anytime you’re wielding a Knife. So this summer, drink like a local and have an Amputator or two. Ask around for the best place to enjoy it! Cheers!
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Steamboat Springs’ Sources of Household Income By Scott L. Ford It takes money to live in Steamboat Springs. How much money will be the topic of my next series of columns in the Valley Voice. In this series, I will cover the sources of our household income, how that income is spent and lastly, how much of that income is spent locally. To the degree possible, I will identify trends that are occurring and how Steamboat compares to similar Colorado mountain communities. In the last issue of this column, we started to explore a few of the Steamboat economic fundamentals. The focus was on Per Capita Income. Per Capita Income is nothing more than a way to determine if, on an aggregate basis, the income in an area is increasing or decreasing in relation to the area’s population. Adjusted for inflation, as of 2015, the Per Capita Income in the Steamboat area has yet to recover to pre Great Recession levels. It still lags by 12 percent. None of the comparable Colorado Mountain resort communities have recovered to their pre-recession levels. Steamboat and all the comparable communities are also seeing a shift from Labor Source income to Non-Labor Source income.
Beer of the Month:
In 2009, the ratio of Labor Source income to Non-Labor Source income was 80/20. By 2015 the ratio had changed to 73/27.
Next issue I will explore how the income is distributed across the households of each of these mountain resort towns. Is it true that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer? If so, at what rate is this occurring and where it is occurring the fastest?
In this month’s column I will explore the sources of Labor Source and Non-Labor Source income.
Sources of Aggregate Household Income in 2015 Sources of Household Income Wages and Self- Employment Interest, Dividends, Net Rental, Royalties Social Security Retirement Social Security Disability Public Assistance Retirement Pension, 401K Distribution Unemployment, Winnings, Capital Gains
Aspen 66% 26% 4% <1% <1% 2% 2%
Breckenridge 75% 11% 5% <1% <1% 7% 1%
Crested Butte 82% 10% 3% <1% <1% 2% 3%
Source: US Census/ American Community Survey
Durango 74% 10% 6% <1% <1% 8% 2%
Steamboat 73% 16% 4% <1% <1% 5% 2%
Telluride 66% 27% 3% <1% <1% 2% 2%
Nothing defines the character of a community better than sources of household income. What this data highlights is that Steamboat is similar to the other Colorado mountain resort communities.
Inflation Adjusted Change in Per Capita Income 2009 to 2015 Aspen -27%
Crested Butte -23%
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Don’t Talk About It: Racism in Northwestern Colorado 198 East Lincoln Ave. Hayden, Colorado 970-276-4250
By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield
In the 1920s, the Ku Klux Klan raised its ugly head in an effort to put “inferior people” in their place and assure the return of “pure Americanism.”
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Serious trouble threatened in 1942 when Nisei Japanese were forcibly settled in the Amache Internment Camp near Granada, Colorado. Governor Ralph Carr told the troublemakers, “If you harm them [Japanese], you must first harm me. I was brought up in small towns where I knew the shame and dishonor of race hatred.” In time, he became a hero for justice. David Moffat introduced racism when he decided to use only strong “Swedes” to build his railroad. Construction costs soared, forcing Moffat to welcome other races. (In the early 1900s, nationalities were considered races.) Going a step further, to prevent labor from organizing, mine owners deliberately sowed tension between nationalities and races. In 1908, Harry Hokasano’s Japanese crew constructed the track bed at the north end of Oak Creek Canyon. Then they moved to the small canyon between Sidney and Deer Park. Legend holds (although not confirmed) a serious accident killed several laborers, thus the name, “Jap Canyon.” Extension of the railroad from Steamboat Springs to Craig in 1913 witnessed a race riot in Steamboat. Japanese laborers arrived in town expecting to begin work, but the white laborers attacked. Wearing game warden badges and posing as deputy sheriffs, William Scanlan and Charles G. Vogle ordered the Japanese to leave. A large force of angry men stood ready to enforce the removal. The sheriff arrived and arrested Scanlan and Vogle. Peace was restored. A few hours later, a train delivered more than one hundred Japanese laborers and railroad lawmen. Soon after opening, the Mt. Harris Mine employed several African-American miners. The mining camp was sharply segregated. It had a black baseball team and a white baseball team. White schoolchildren were not to play with black children, although this rule was often broken. All the mining camps were divided: Greeks here, Italians there, Serbians somewhere else, and so it went.
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
In the Oak Creek District, the Haybro, Keystone, and Moffat mines employed a large force of Japanese and the boarding houses were operated by Japanese. Yama Kura Guiochi (KG Yama) ran the boarding house at the Moffat Mine. Helen Newquist’s father was the head bookkeeper and timekeeper at the mine. Years later, she recalled the warm, friendly relations she and her family had with the Yama family. Yama’s boarding house and bunkhouse served Japanese, Hungarian, Swede, and Mexican miners. Yama also ran a small store at the mine and a larger store in town. When Mrs. Newquist sent the kids to Yama’s store, “We hoped,” Helen wrote, “it would be the day when he’d be making huge, sugar bread doughnuts on the great range in the kitchen.” When the grocery bill was paid, Mr. Yama gave the kids candy. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, the Newquist family was invited to eat at the boarding house. Here they sat with the bachelor miners and ate all kinds of excellent food. Each place had a bag of special goodies. Mrs. Yama was a non-Japanese woman. Her son Frank states, “She was 100% American – Oregon Pioneer.” K. G’s brother Jay was the roustabout at the boarding house and raised a fine garden. Mr. Yama realized it was hard for miners during the down season, so he bought a small ranch near Crosho Lake and raised vegetables, pigs, chickens, and milk cows. He hired unemployed miners to work on the ranch. In the early years of the Great Depression before federal relief programs, Mr. Yama brought potatoes, vegetables, meat, eggs, and milk from his ranch to feed hungry families in Oak Creek. A family of five received so many dippers of hearty soup and a loaf of bread. A family of three received fewer dippers and a half loaf. (Frank Yama did not recall the formula, but it was fair and it was free food for hungry families.) December 7, 1941, Japanese bombers struck the American fleet anchored at Pearl Harbor, forcing the United States into a long and hard-fought war. The Nisei in Oak Creek were as profoundly angered as everyone in America. They were Americans and their country was under attack.
Three weeks later, more than sixty Routt County Japanese and invited guests gathered at Mr. Hasimoto’s home in Oak Creek to bid farewell to four of their young men. (Hasimoto operated the Japanese boarding house at the Keystone Mine.) Frank Yama, Sam Fushimi, Ken Shibata, and Duke Iwamura were leaving to join the service. Miss Ruby Hasimoto, in charge of collecting funds for the Red Cross in Oak Creek, collected more than $90 that night. The next morning Frank left for Denver to join the Navy. He was rejected – 4F, high blood pressure. He attempted to join the Air Force, Coast Guard, and Marine Corps. Rejected by all, he returned home a devastated young man. For the first time in his life, he truly felt the hurt of rejection. The other three men were also rejected and soon Ruby was replaced by the Red Cross in favor of a “true” American. Through the years, Mr. Yama helped many people who were down and out. He extended credit to unemployed miners during periods when mines were idle. When the war began, people he helped declared, “I’ll not pay that Jap son-of-a-bitch.” Others were afraid to be seen going into his stores. Yama was forced out of business. Needing men, the mines continued to employ Japanese, but life was hell for them under ground. People Frank had gone to school with turned against him. A group of Japanese went to the movies. Old friends sat behind them and stuck sharp points in their backs. When Frank went dancing, he was continually harassed. In February 1942, the state passed a law prohibiting Aliens from hunting or fishing and owning common radios. Mr. Yama and other Japanese enjoyed hunting and fishing. Fish were used in their traditional diet. In March, county sheriffs were instructed to check Japanese aliens for travel permits. Without a warrant, Routt County’s sheriff searched Japanese homes for prohibited items. In April, Oak Creek Japanese watched a convoy of Japanese Americans en route to the Amache Internment Camp. Before the year’s end, Frank Yama and other young Japanese men were drafted into the Army. They had to go through two boot camps – one for infantry, the other artillery. Frank was held in reserve for nearly a year, but Ken Shibata was killed in combat in Italy. He died fighting for a nation that would not allow him to become a citizen although he was born in America. By the end of 1943, all the Japanese businesses except the dry cleaners, miners, and families left Oak Creek. The story of Japanese Americans during World War II is a dark blot, but a postscript must be added. Several uprooted Japanese began buying small truck farms. Fearing the new comers, a powerful movement was mounted to prevent Japanese from owning land. In October 1944, with long, hard, and bloody fighting ahead in the Pacific, Colorado voted on the Anti-Alien Land Law. The amendment was defeated 184,458 to 168,865. The majority of Colorado voters believed Japanese, either born Americans or immigrants, had a right to own farms, homes and businesses. With the passage of the Walter-McCarran Act (1952), Japanese gained the right to become Americans by either birth or naturalization. The long nightmare finally ended and the dreamers were citizens.
Most Americans Lie to Themselves at the End of Every Month By Scott L. Ford
Politicians are fond of invoking an image of an Ozzie and Harriet family type huddling around the kitchen table doing their monthly budget. The family is working hard at budgeting to make sure each dollar is put to its fullest use. This mental image is invoked in the hope that government will do the same. The key problem with this image is that it is lie. Surprisingly few American households do a budget. When asked, they say that they budget, but in reality only a small segment do. A poll from Gallup in 2016 shows that 32 percent of Americans put together a written (paper or electronic) budget each month to track income and expenditures. Of this 32 percent, only 1/3 of them have a long-term financial plan laying out savings and/or investment goals. What this means is that only about 1 out of 10 Americans are budgeting with any goal in mind. For most, goals such as building an emergency fund, paying down debt or saving for retirement, or putting something in a college fund are wishful thinking only. Effective budgeting cannot be characterized that, at the end of each month, there is always some money left-over in the checking account. For about 2/3 of American households, having even a little money left over at the end of the month is viewed as a resounding success.
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Met Life did a survey last summer that provided some insight into the relative fiscal health of American households. It found that about 70% of households essentially exist pay check to pay check. Every dollar of monthly income is spent. One outcome of this situation is that the typical household is woefully unprepared for any financial emergency. The survey also highlighted that slightly over 50% of these households have less than $500 in savings. Financial emergencies are a reality of life. Without an emergency fund, even a relatively minor vehicle / home repair or a medical expense can push people to the brink of financial ruin. When faced with a financial emergency, people without the savings to meet it typically turn to credit cards. This is one reason that total non-mortgage household debt in America as of March 2017 reached $12.68 trillion according to the Federal Reserve. The last time non-mortgage debt reached this level was in the third quarter of 2008 as the nation started to slip into the depths of the Great Recession.
What is the solution? Stop lying to yourself if you know you are one financial “hiccup” away from a money crisis. Start budgeting with a goal in mind of establishing even a small emergency fund. Visit a website such as YNAB.com (You Need A Budget), Everydollar.com or Mint.com to get started.
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Art in the ‘Boat
Steamboat’s Creative Tribes Unite Under Creative District Certification By Dagny McKinley
an overreaching view of what Steamboat has to offer. Over the past three years, the Creative District committee has reached out to a wide variety of groups within the community, encouraging partnerships and collaborations to help address community needs through creative problem solving. The Creative District certification comes as a win for the Steamboat Springs Arts Council and the town. Last year a whirlwind tour for the CCI panelists revealed that Steamboat lacked a few key elements of the high standards of the program: stronger integration with the municipality, infrastructure within the district, branding and focus on heritage. So What Does the Creative District Certification mean for Steamboat Springs?
“Steamboat Springs’ designation as a Colorado Creative Industries’ Creative District brings recognition to how our community embraces art, culture and heritage as fundamental values in our way of life here in the Yampa Valley. The designation brings an opportunity to further raise awareness of the growing creative industries sector in the Valley and its contribution to both the economic diversification and vitality in our rural resort community,” said Nancy Kramer, Program Coordinator for Northwest Colorado Cultural Heritage Program, who contributed her vast knowledge and passion for the area to the Creative District effort.
Imagine walking across the street following in step with the paw prints of a bear, dog, horse or even sandhill crane. Crosswalks embellished with imprints of creatures that make up our community is just one of the many ways Steamboat expresses its artistic individuality. In Steamboat we embrace our heritage, our culture and the arts to such an extent that Steamboat Springs was recently awarded the Creative District Certification by Colorado Creative Industries (CCI), a division of the Colorado Office of Economic Development and International Trade. “This is just one more feather in the cap of Steamboat,” said
Matt Eidt, Real Estate Agent at Colorado Group Realty, who was instrumental in the effort to achieve the designation. The impetus to have Steamboat Springs included in the program came from various discussions with members of the Arts Council. Kim Keith, Executive Director of the Steamboat Springs Arts Council (SSAC), took the lead from there. She gathered a committee of change agents with representation from the arts, economic development, history and cultural tourism in order to provide CCI with
Artwork by Cully Kistler
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
With the certification as a Colorado Creative District, Steamboat is finally being recognized on a state level as having creative industries that are a vital part of local economic diversity. The designation aligns Steamboat with other communities that are taking the arts seriously as a means of economic development, enhancing community identity and addressing community needs such as providing resources and funding for artists. Through this designation, Steamboat Springs will continue to evolve as the regional hub for arts and culture in rural Northwestern Colorado. By building a strong creative district, Steamboat can build a better future for the entire region, with a strong economic and cultural impact, successful community collaborations and initiatives, and broad support for our cultural heritage. “We are listening to the needs of our artists and cultural organizations,” said Keith. “They asked the Arts Council for an advocacy program that includes creating strategies to build political support for the arts. The Colorado Creative District designation is an outstanding program
town to showcase his ski jumping talents. Howelsen put together the very first Winter Carnival, a tradition that continues to this day, and built up the ski jump on the hill, now named for him, which has since become a training ground to over 80 Olympic athletes. As new arts flourished, the ranching heritage of Steamboat was staunchly protected. Steamboat now has a world-class music festival at Strings, a restored theater at the Chief, a wide variety of fine art galleries, emerging art gallery at Center for Visual Arts and a collective of young artists through the Youngbloods. This confluence of art, culture, environment and heritage collide to create a town and arts district unlike any other.
that helps communities create a framework for communication, data collection and leadership.” On a more tangible level, the Creative District designation brings resources that will help strengthen Steamboat’s brand identity through concise messaging and marketing both within the community and to prospective visitors considering relocation. Steamboat’s creatives will benefit from cooperative marketing, access to data and impact analysis, funding opportunities and technical assistance and networking and training programs through the Creative District program. “I believe this designation will bring opportunities for artists, as well as subsidies & grant money from the State. But, I also believe this designation will enhance our identity as a community. Hopefully, this designation will bring a new type of resident & guest to Steamboat, ones who are seeking out creative communities & experiences. And with those new individuals, the hope is that new dollars, new ideas, & new creative experiences also become available to our community,” said Eidt. Another aspect of the program is to address affordable housing for artists. The Yampa Valley Housing Authority recently initiated a community planning process to
The Merchant of Venice William Shakespeare
(The Chosen One)
from Andrew Garret Karl and the Mimesis Project
THE CHOSEN ONE
develop solutions to the housing shortage. While providing housing is one option, additional opportunities are present to make the arts more financially stable for artists through strengthening the earning power of creatives through business counseling, promotion, and expansion of markets and advocating for the creative industries in the community planning initiatives. Steamboat has a long history of artists, beginning with the first settlers, the Crawfords, who arrived with basic living supplies, an organ and paints. Lulie Crawford painted scenes of the Yampa Valley and recorded her impressions and imaginings of the place through a series of books that include The Cabin at Medicine Springs. Then, in 1913, two events changed the course of Steamboat’s heritage as a ranching community. First, Perry-Mansfield established their Performing Arts Camp & School (P-M) in Strawberry Park. The camp became world renowned in the 1920’s and 30’s as top modern dancers retreated to Steamboat to create new routines. Today, P-M continues to influence dance around the world. The theater program, once headed by Charlotte Perry, attracted talent such as Julie Harris, Dustin Hoffman and today, the likes of Jessica Biel. The same year Charlotte Perry and Portia Mansfield were creating a scandal with their barefoot dancing and nude sun baths, her sister, Marjorie, invited Carl Howelsen to
An artist, said Keith, is “anyone who creates. I don’t limit the definition of ‘artist’ to people who make money from their creations. People who engage in the creative process as a means of expression, sharing their perspective, opening up dialogue, engaging the viewer, providing creative solutions… are very much artists in my eyes.” Outside of her role as Executive Director of the SSAC, Keith is also an artist. She saw a need for the town and a creative solution to further the arts community. She never gave up on her dream of securing the Creative District designation. When asked why, she doesn’t hesitate, “Because I believe in the power of the arts to inspire one another, connect our community, diversify our economy and create lasting social change. Because we need to come together to make a difference. The Creative District gathers the creative tribe and communicates the data to exhibit our value and importance in society.” Her passion paid off. The Creative District designation not only benefits traditional artists, but also benefits creative industries that range the gamut from distilleries to culinary arts, to architects, designers and more. “The designation gives us access to a wealth of resources, both financial and otherwise, to develop the full potential of the district. Coordination, signage, sustainability, and marketing within the district will greatly enhance our district and the benefits we will enjoy as a town,” said Candice Bannister. In a town known for skiing and ranching, the artists who have recorded, painted, preserved, written and sung about this land, who have used all that Steamboat has to offer to create and explore artistically, are finally being recognized. Kim Keith reminds us, “The Creative District Certification shows that we care deeply about the future of Steamboat Springs, and are ready to create it.”
Dates and Times
The Merchant of Venice
Friday, July 28, 6pm: The Chosen One - Botanic Park Saturday, July 29, 6pm: Merchant - Steamboat High School Sunday, July 30, 6pm: The Chosen One - Botanic Park Wednesday, August 2, 6pm: Merchant - Botanic Park Thursday, August 3, 6pm: The Chosen One - Botanic Park Friday, August 4, 6pm: Merchant - Botanic Park Saturday, August 5, 6pm: The Chosen One - High School Sunday, August 6, 6pm: Merchant- Bud Werner Library Wednesday, August 9, 6pm: The Chosen One - Botanic Park Thursday, August 10, 6pm: Merchant - Botanic Park Friday, August 11, 6pm: The Chosen One - Botanic Park Saturday, August 12, 6pm: Merchant - High School Sunday, August 13, 6pm: The Chosen One - Library SATURDAY SHOWS AT STEAMBOAT HIGH SCHOOL ARE ALCOHOL FREE!
An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world.—George Santayana
Where’s Charlotte? By Karen Vail
Spring brings out all manner of critters after a winter hiding from prying eyes. As I uncover all the lovely garden goodies, I also encounter a lot of spiders. Hey there, Charlotte. How was your winter? If you have arachnophobia, read on! Hopefully by the end you will realize the value and unique beauty of our arachnid friends. A little Spider 101 terminology will get us off on the right eight-footed track. Check out this website for some basic spider info http://animals.howstuffworks.com/ arachnids/spider1.htm. The spider body is basically two sections: the cephalothorax (the fusion of the head and the thorax) and the abdomen, which is usually larger than the cephalothorax. The top of the cephalothorax is covered by a hardened shell called the carapace, and in front of the carapace are two groups of eyes. Most spiders have six to eight eyes that are “simple”, not compound like many insects, and can detect basically light and shadow. The simple structure also reflects light brightly back from the beam of a flashlight; a great way of locating spiders at night! Vision to most spiders is a secondary sense. Most spiders interact with the world through tactile sensation. Highly sensitive hairs on the spiders body and feet pick up even low-level vibrations in whatever the spider is standing on (its web, a leaf, the floor, etc.). Many spiders also have hairs called trichobothria which pick up vibration in the air (sound). Most spiders also have a sense of smell and taste which assist them in feeding and reproduction. Below the head are the jaws, or chelicerae, which are tipped by a movable fang. The chelicerae hold prey while the fang injects venom into the prey. Behind the jaws are the labium (the lower lip), which helps direct food into the
mouth. All spiders are carnivores, but some need their meal totally liquid, whereas others can grind up some of their food with rudimentary teeth into a pulp to be sucked up using the powerful pumping action of the stomach. All spiders use digestive juices on, or injected into, their prey to begin the liquidation process. Crab spiders pump digestive juices into their prey and extract the resulting broth from inside, leaving a neat little exoskeleton. Between the jaws and the first pair of legs are the pedipalps, often simply called palps. They look like tiny legs, but are similar to antennae to help spiders sense objects. However, they are also used by some species to capture prey, in feeding, aiding in shaping their webs, and in mating. In fact, these are commonly used to tell male and female spiders; the males have enlarged pedipalps. Upon finding a female, the male builds a small web where he deposits a droplet of sperm. He then sucks up the sperm into the pedipalp, ready to be inserted into the female during mating. The abdomen is relatively soft and is where most of the spider’s internal organs are located, such as reproductive system, lungs and digestive tract. At the tip of the abdomen is one of the coolest things about all spiders; the spinnerets, which produce various types of silk, depending on what the silk is being used for. Entomologist Carol O’Meara wrote in a Denver Post article (May 28, 2015) that “spiders have different types of silk for different jobs. Strong, flexible silk is used for draglines or webs, while softer silk is used to line egg sacks or refuges. Some web silk is sticky to trap prey; other types of silk snares a spi-
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
der’s food with a series of small loops.” So, silk is compli- y cated! One of the toughest types of silk, dragline silk, used h in the framework of webs and as a safety line, has a comparable tensile strength to steel, according to Wikipedia’s O article on spider silk. These draglines can also hold their c strength below -40F and up to 428F. You can imagine with h these kinds of specs that the scientific and engineering a world is taking note. Creating a material out of common t natural products, using no energy (save the metabolic l energy of the spider) and producing no waste except for a i little water, when compared to the production of a piece of j steel in modern factories has engineers drooling. In fact, J an attempt at commercialization through “spider goats”, c where a genetically modified goat produced milk contain- o ing an extra protein that could be extracted and spun into a spider silk was a nice idea, but resulted in bankruptcy. c Some day, by studying how spider silk delivers its strengthw through sequences of genes in spider DNA, we will be able j to build the ultra-light airplane using renewable resources d in energy efficient ways. Thanks spiders!! m s How do spiders produce this magical material? Well, sci- c entists really do not know how they form the silk, but they have a basic idea of the spinning process. Special glands N secrete silk proteins dissolved in a water-based solution t which the spider pushes through long ducts leading to i spigots on the spider’s spinnerets. Most spiders have two o or three spinneret pairs, each with a valve that controls y thickness and speed of the extruded material. As the pro- M teins are extruded into the air, the molecules are stretchedb and linked to form the silk fiber. They can coat the silk in o a sticky substance if needed, or even waterproof the silk. s T We all know the typical spider web, thanks to Charlotte s and her beautiful creations in the children’s book Char- w lotte’s Web. For a great video showing the architecture of i an orb weaver web, look up http://www.smithsonianmag. c com/smithsonian-institution/ask-smithsonian-how-do- p spiders-make-webs-180957426/. As well as orb weaver c webs, there are also cobwebs (also called tangle-webs), funnel webs, sheet webs and tubular webs. Not all spiders use O “Charlotte” webs to catch their prey. Trap door spiders s dig holes, camouflage them with a soil covered door hinged n with spider silk, and lie in wait for passing prey. Funnel c spiders make sheet webs with a silken tube where the spi- h der hides in a darkened corner. The webbing is not sticky, t but is simply used to alert the spider of something tasty c passing by, whereupon they emerge and snatch up dinner. w s One of my favorite hunters are whiteband crab spiders, S also called flower spiders, (Misumenoides formosipes) t because they wait, oh, so patiently, on flowers to ambush m visiting insects. Scientists noted that, when on white t flowers, the female crab spiders were white, and when on h yellow flowers, they were yellow. Yep, these spiders actu- o ally slowly change color to camouflage themselves on the t white or yellow flower. The color change takes between 10 D to 25 days to change from white to yellow, but only a week e to go from yellow to white. Crab spiders have two layers t covering their bodies; the clear outer layer will produce a z white spider. But when the spider “sees” a yellow flower T a yellow pigment is infused under this clear layer and a solid under layer acts like a mirror reflecting the yellow N back out of the clear layer and, voila, our spider is now e s
How Our American Flag was designed in 1776-ish By Matt Scharf yellow! There’s a great article at https://phys.org/news/2015-04-spider-species.html#jCp. Other ambush spiders are the wolf spiders. Yes, their cute little face looks somewhat like a wolf (with your eyes half closed and squinting really hard). Jumping spiders, another ambush spider, are able to leap up to fifty times their size by utilizing well developed hydraulics in their legs and altering the pressure of the body fluid in them using powerful muscles in their cephalothorax. Before they jump, they attach a silk tether in case they miss. The Bold Jumper (Phidippus audax) is one of the largest and most common jumping spiders in North America. This is the one I see often in my garden. They are mostly black with a conspicuous white, orange or red triangular patch in the center of its abdomen. If you can get a close up look, you will be wowed by the iridescent sheen of the jaws. The jumping spiders are a little un-spiderlike in that they hunt during the day and have unusually large eyes, providing much better vision than most spiders. Scientists have shown that jumping spiders can see into spectrums we cannot, such as UVA and UVB. Now then, spiders are carnivores; they hunt with venom to immobilize their prey. The venom is specific to the insect body and physiology, not to humans. Spiders bite only if they are intimidated or backed into a corner (like your hand entering their hidey hole). According to the Mayo Clinic website “a spider bite looks like any other bug bite — a red, inflamed, sometimes itchy or painful bump on your skin — and may even go unnoticed. Harmless spider bites usually don’t produce any other symptoms. “. They also detail black widow and brown recluse spider bite symptoms and end with; “Very rarely, a bite from a black widow or brown recluse spider may be deadly, particularly in children”. According to https://historylist.wordpress. com ,the black widow and brown recluse spiders kill 6.5 people per year, usually young children not receiving medical attention right away. OK, so on to why am I a spider fanatic - and why you should be too! Let me take you through a little bit of math, not to scare you, but to prove the value of spiders in pest control. The article “Spiders could theoretically eat every human on Earth in one year” by Christopher Ingraham in the Washington Post (March 28, 2017) caught my eye. To condense the article here, the question was asked: If you were to tally up all the food eaten by the world’s entire spider population in a single year, how much would it be? Scientists Martin Nyffeler and Klaus Birkhofer calculated that the world’s spiders consume somewhere between 400 million and 800 million tons of prey in a year. That means that spiders eat at least as much meat as all 7 billion humans on the planet combined. Consuming 10 percent of their spider body weight in food each day is equivalent to a 200 pound person eating 20 pounds of meat each day. Don’t freak out!! What all this means is that all our insect eating spiders are controlling the flies in your house, the bugs eating your plants in the garden, the mosquitos zooming around your outdoor dinner, etc. See my point? These guys are awesome!! Now go and check the corners of you house or garden to enjoy the spider antics and enjoy the greatest pest control show on earth! I’ll be looking on the trails!
America the Beautiful; Deep Creek Canyon/ White River National Forest
Photo by Eric Kemper
Children are perfectly happy to sit next to spiders; it is only grown-ups who are frightened away. –Craig Brown
The Thrill of a Lifetime By Dagny McKinley
“We are all students of life,” said Andres Cladera, Opera Steamboat Artistic Director, when asked why people should come to the opera. “Why would someone who skis regularly try a new slope? It’s the thrill of adventure, a sense of discovery.” The Steamboat Opera adventure begins July 26th - August 12th, 2017 with performances and master classes that are open to the public The tradition of opera in Steamboat dates back to 1952 when the first opera was performed at Perry-Mansfield’s Symposium of the Arts. Gian Carlo Menotti’s Amahl and the Night Visitors received an enthusiastic reception. In 2002, Keri Rusthoi founded Emerald City Opera (now Opera Steamboat) with the vision of bringing world-class operatic artists to Steamboat Springs in a way that would engage the community as a whole. She wanted to promote professional opera and the vocal arts in Northwest Colorado through educational and musical opportunities. The first fully staged opera production was W.A. Mozart’s The Magic Flute in 2003. Today, Cladera continues the tradition of bringing some of the most exciting and daring opera to Steamboat. “We exist because of the Steamboat Springs community, and it is why we are committed to providing exquisite work to our patrons,” said Cladera. Each year, stars from all over the county and students from around the world come to Steamboat to perform and study opera. What takes places each summer is a “creative, unique operatic experience that can only be witnessed here. It is created for the
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Steamboat community exclusively.” Andres creates programs he is passionate about, so electric that those who have never seen the opera will be enticed with curiosity to experience the shows alongside veteran patrons of opera. For those who have never been to the opera, think of this summer’s Opera Festival performances as an exploration into a rare art form. Opera Steamboat’s performances combine theater with singing, but not just any kind of singing, world- class operatic talent. Artists are booked years in advance to secure the best performers for each production. Lighting, staging, design and costume are all aspects of opera, appealing to the senses on so many levels. “Opera is comical, tragic, provocative and imaginative,” said Beth Blaskovich, who works in Administration and Development for Opera Steamboat. This year’s programming is a balance of performances designed to appeal to traditional opera patrons, families and young audiences. “We want kids to know they are welcome here.” As an added incentive, Opera Steamboat is lowering their ticket prices this year to make the performances more affordable for young people and families. The Enchanted Pig by Jonathan Dove (in English) is a fairy tale story about princesses, kings, powerful creatures and a singing pig! A story for the entire family, not to be missed! If you want to experience the grand aspect of opera, Cavalleria Rusticana (Italian traditional Opera), is the event to see at the Steamboat Christian Center, August 4th at 7:30 p.m. It will have a 30-piece orchestra with interna-
tional stars, soprano Alexandra LoBianco (recently seen at Florida Grand Opera) and tenor Jonathan Burton (recently seen at English National Opera). Alcina by Handel, a baroque opera, brings a mystical story to life with the leading character, Alcina, who is a powerful sorceress. The storylines are a great entry-way into the opera. But the Summer Opera Festival isn’t just about performances. There is also an education aspect. Master Classes are free and open to the public, so they can observe the process that artists and coaches go through in preparation for a performance. This summer’s Master Classes will feature Opera Artist Institute participants who will be receiving coaching from teachers and featured opera artists. In the future, master classes will be opened to local vocalists in order to receive coaching from their artistic staff. At the end of their training, participants will perform in The Young Artists Concert. A variety of pieces from opera arias to Broadway musicals will appeal to all ages. In 2016, the summer performance of The Fanstastic Mr. Fox provided an opportunity for over 20 young local vocalists to perform in their first opera. They made up the chorus for the sold out shows. Bright futures come from the training students receive here. One of last year’s participants in the 2016 Opera Artists Institute program, Rachel Duval, has been accepted into a renowned summer opera program this year. She will be joining the cast of STOMPING GROUNDS, a new opera by Paige Hernandez and Victor Simonson at the Glimmerglass Festival this August. Senhica Klee, a student of the Opera Artist Institute, is currently signing with Wolf Trap Opera. John Robert Lindsey is singing with Cincinnati Opera, where Cladera conducts.
Steamboat Writers Conference
Writers Connect With Other Writers By Barbara Sparks
Writers of various ilk will convene July 21-22 for the 36th Annual Steamboat Writers Conference. It’s local, affordable and promises to be fun-if it’s anything like previous conferences. A participant from last year’s event shared this. “I always learn something; enjoy the day with fellow writers. It motivates me to keep writing.” As you might guess, writers return year after year because these conferences are about writing-often the nuts and bolts of good writing, sometimes about genre like memoir, mystery, travel, creative nonfiction; other times about the publishing process, promotion, meeting with editors or self-publishing. This year, general workshop sessions on enriching setting, character and plot will be offered by award winning authors Laura Resau and Laura DiSilverio. DilSilverio writes mystery and suspense novels and is past president of Sisters in Crime. Resau has published eight highly acclaimed novels for young people and is praised for her sensitive treatment of Indigenous people’s issues. How to develop books in a series and essential elements for successful young adult novels are also topics on this year’s agenda. These are craft sessions offering tips, tools and insights from well-known Colorado authors.
The Event, sponsored by the Steamboat Writers Group and the Steamboat Arts Council, kicks off the conference with a Meet and Greet Buffet Social on Friday, July 21. It’s a wonderful time to meet the presenters and get acquainted with fellow workshop participants. Catch up on news, share success stories and browse the book table for a closer look or to purchase books of conference attendees. Participating authors are encouraged to bring their books for sale. A much anticipated part of the evening is Five Minutes of Fame. Twenty participants will have the opportunity to read their writing. Some authors read from current work while others pen a short piece specifically for the event. Saturday workshop sessions begin after a catered breakfast. The four interactive sessions promise to be informative and inspiring. If you write, be among those who say, “I’m so glad I came.” For further information about the conference or the weekly Steamboat writers group go to www.steamboatwriters.com, stop by the Steamboat Arts Council or call 970-291-9115.
Come in and SAVE!
Outreach happens not just to young talents around the world, but within our community. This past March, Opera Steamboat performed for young audiences throughout Routt County. For many kids, it was the first time they had ever seen an opera. For Andres, the favorite part of the performance was the question and answer portion. “The kids’ questions are usually profound and can be life changing for the students and for the performers as well. What usually astounds the kids the most is that the opera singers can produce so much sound without amplification,” said Cladera. This tends to be a focal point of the Q&A sessions - sometimes leading to a voice lesson or even a long conversation about physics.
ut Check Ose CPL Ca s Sale
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So what can Opera Steamboat offer you? “We offer the opportunity to discover the incredible, fascinating world of Opera,” said Cladera. Whether you are young or old, witnessing opera for the first time or the 100th, what you will find in Steamboat, we promise, you will find nowhere else on earth. For more information visit: www.OperaSteamboat.com
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I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand. –Edward Appleton
Fishing from the ‘Boat
Even Fly Fishing is Hazardous to the Health of Fish By Peter Parsons
Happy Hour Join us for a beautiful sunset and views of the valley with signature cocktails, appetizers and live music.
Let’s not fool ourselves; fish do not enjoy being hooked. Without question, it is hazardous to their health. Whether they remember being hooked is questionable. Likely their brains are too primitive to remember much of anything. Even when committed to the best Catch and Release practices, experienced fly fishers will occasionally kill a fish. In 1996, Colorado State University (CSU) did a comprehensive study on the Hooking Mortality of Rainbow Trout; it shows that with the fly-fishing method, there is an overall chance of between 5 and 10% of killing a fish. Among fly-fishers there are two important things that contribute most to hooking mortality: Water Temperature -Mortality increases exponentially with the rise of water temperature. For Rainbow Trout water that is 65 degrees has a hooking mortality that is four times as high as that of water that is only 45 degrees. The warmer the water, the less dissolved oxygen it retains.
$15 includes gondola ride and $5 off food or drink of your choice.
Season Passholders are free, and must have their pass to upload. Gondola boards at 5pm, most Thursday and Sunday evenings.
970.871.5150 • steamboat.com Perfect for the over 21 crowd Dates and bands are subject to change
Photo by Scott Kimmey
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
In the summer months, the Yampa River gets warm. This makes it great for tubing but stressful for trout. It is relatively easy when the water is warm to play a fish to the point of fatal exhaustion. This is particularly true the larger the fish. One way to reduce the fish’s exhaustion is to increase tippet size. Essentially a strong enough tippet to “horse” the fish in as quickly as possible is better for them. Hook Location - The physical location of where the fish is hooked affects mortality. A fish hooked in the upper or lower jaw or corners to the mouth have a relatively low hooking mortality. The deeper the hook is in the mouth of the fish, the higher the mortality. If the fish is bleeding heavily from the gills, it is likely fatally hooked. The study showed that fish experiencing bleeding from the gills has a hooking mortality of between 85 and 90%. Cutting the tippet and leaving the hook only slightly increases the fish’s chance for survival. Typically, a bleeding fish is a soon to be dead fish.
By Jeff Morehead
Milner Mall Rethink Recreate Repurpose Restore Your World
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be a shortage of fishing poles. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Doug Larson
July A 2017
Buff Pass Fish Creek Res. Fish Creek Falls
Â© 2017 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the artist. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.
Map under construction
Spring Creek Fish Creek Falls Rd.
Rollingstone Golf Club
Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487
Tamarack Drive Amethyst Drive
Hill Top Parkway
Ski Time Square
E. Maple Street
Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.
Strawberry Hot Springs Missouri Ave.
Old Town Hot Springs Lincoln Avenue
et l Stre Laure
Emerald Park Botanic Gardens
Yam pa Av e
Oa kS t.
Pin eS t.
4 Asp en St.
Core Trail Weiss Park
Lin col nA ven ue
Yam pa Riv er
Howelsen Hill BMX Track
13 Blackmere Drive
Fart Park Depot Art Center
For those A who live hereBand for those who C wish they did. D
Valley Voice K
S July 2017
Rabbit Ears Pass Dumont Lake
Knowls Mt. Werner Circle Eagle Ridge Dr.
Tennis Bubble Caseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pond
Mt. Werner Road
Central Park Drive
Pine Grove Road
oad ve R o r G
131 Haymaker Golf Core Trail
RCR 14f RCR 14
FREE 2-, 3- and 8-hour parking and five FREE public lots available across town.
steamboatsprings.net Haymaker Golf Course Driving Range . Pro Shop . Haymaker Patio Grill . Rental Clubs Public 18-hole links course . 970-870-1846 . haymakergolf.com Howelsen Ice Arena Daily Ice Skating . Ice Bumper Cars . Skate Rentals & Lessons Indoor Facility/Heated Lobby . 970-871-7033 . steamboatsprings.net/ice Howelsen Hill Ski Area Historic ski area with summer ski jumping and miles of hiking and biking trails 845 Howelsen Parkway . steamboatsprings.net/ski Howler Alpine Slide Slide your way to exhilarating alpine family fun 970-819-8010 . steamboatalpineslide.com ProRodeo Where cowboys and cowgirls come to play every Friday and Saturday evening 970-879-1818 . steamboatprorodeo.com . Live Music @ 6pm . Rodeo @ 7:30pm Steamboat Tennis Center 6 Indoor Courts . 10 Outdoor Courts . Open 7 Days A Week 2500 Pine Grove Rd . 970-879-8400 . steamboat10s.com Parks & Community Services Youth/Teens/Seniors Programs, Adult & Youth Sports Leagues 245 Howelsen Parkway . 970-879-4300 . steamboatsprings.net/rec Yampa River Botanic Park Colorado Botanic Jewel . Free Admission . Dawn to Dusk . April - October 31 1000 Pamela Lane . 970-846-5172 . yampariverbotanicpark.org
City of Parks & Community Services
Bike Town Challenge Storm Peak Hill Climb Mt. Werner July 12, 2017
Howelsen Howler Howelsen Hill July 26, 2017
Steamboat Springs Transit Ride the FREE bus - downtown, to the mountain & in between 970-879-3717 . steamboatsprings.net/transit for times, stops and app RCR 45
Valley Voice YAMPA STREET
128 126 124
More than 120 Vendors
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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Questions? 970-846-1800 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Come down to Farmers Market and vegetate with the rest of us. Have some lunch, listen to music, talk to your neighbors and have a great time. Then stick around to explore the rest of downtown.
Saturdays from July 1 - September 16 9:00 AM to 2:00 pm. 7th and Yampa Streets
For a complete list of vendors, go to mainstreetsteamboat.com
Schmac and Cheese
821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com : 8 pm; ages show ll A rr a e 10. yB ctronic). $15. & $ 7/1: Muzz Saturday 10:30 pm (Live Ele : 21+ show 21; $10 21+. r e d n u 5 $1 ood ) /3: Driftw Monday 7 /Rock/Americana lk o (F 10 pm La /4: DJ Dra Tuesday 7 Dance Party) J 10 pm (D ermuffin 7/6: Dang oots Rock) y a d rs u h T R mericana 10 pm (A ock) : Acutonic Friday 7/7 gressive Reggae R ro 10 pm (P nx 7/8: Sphy Saturday ce Glam) pa 10 pm (S Lucius /10: Uncle oots Rock) 7 y a d n o M R il mericana f the Dev 10 pm (A d Speak o n a s it d n 7/13: Ba Thursday Rock/Metal) rd a 10 pm (H Boat issed the M : 4 /1 7 Friday s) arty-Gras 10 pm (P nket w/ hiskey Bla nic Hip-Hop) W : 5 /1 7 Saturday icks 10 pm (Orga N DJ Steezy rd Hollow 0: Cranfo /2 7 y a d Thurs ) mericana ment 10 pm (A w/ Groove ) o c s ra F y 1: And k-Rock Friday 7/2 l Good Music/Fun e e (F 10 pm ock) (Reggae R O L F W O S 7/22: Saturday an Taxi at Americ try Rock) re G : 7 /2 7 n Thursday ck/Americana/Cou o (R Children) m p 0 1 rly Filthy e rm o (f k agic 8: SuperM Friday 7/2 nk/Soul/Disco) 10 pm (Fu it Band ip-Hop) 7/29: Intu s/H Saturday eggae/Funk/Blue (R m p 0 1 ight
News from the Chief of the Chief By Scott Parker
Hello all and thank you for reading the 46th installment of Smoke Signals: News from The Chief of the Chief.
I love July.
It is hard to believe that The Parker Five moved back to Steamboat in July of 2013 and that this July will mark the beginning of our 5th year being back. My, how the time flies when you are having fun!
And FUN is what we do here at the Chief Theater. Check out this July lineup!!
It is my birth month. It means Summer…tubing the Yampa, BBQ’s, long days, Free Summer Concerts and so much more.
July 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th: Every Thursday in July (and August) is the Live Western Melodrama. So much fun… get there if you have yet to attend! All ages love it, as it is all about audience participation!!! Boo the Villian, Cheers the Hero, and Hubba Hubba the Villainess! July 7th and 8th: Jed Clampit and Kip Attaway July 15th: Keller Williams
July 19th: Mark D Sanders
Sorry but Dave Matthews is not playing in October. That was just something I wrote to see who reads my column….which apparently a lot of you do. And for that I am thankful.
n Dance N i t a L : s y Sunda Karaoke d n a B e : Liv Mondays Tuesday p e t S 2 : Oh Schmiggity! Tuesdays e k o a ays: Kar Wednesd
Schmappy Hourpm 7-9 Daily Steamboat's ONLY Happy Hour from 7-9 1/2 Off the entire bar; $1 $3 1/2 pound 100% Angus Beef Hot Dogs Genesee Cans Schmiggity-ball Sliders
Tickets online at schmiggitys.com or at All That. Schmac and Cheese
July 21st: Dawn and Hawkes July 29th: Sam Tallet and Friends Stand Up Comedy!!!
Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram or go to our website and sign up for our weekly email blast! Thank you for reading and see you at the Chief!!! Cheers, Scott
www.chieftheater.com 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791
July 6, 13, 20, 27
The Secret of Yonder Mountain: A Live Western Melodrama Fun for the entire family
Tickets: $15. for Adults $10. for kids / Show 7:00 pm
July 7, 8
Jed Clampit and Kip Attaway Shows at 8:00 pm Tickets: $25. presale / $30. at the door
Mark D. Sanders He has written 14 No. 1 hits, 50 singles, and over 200 cuts, including the famous Lee Ann Womack single "I Hope You Dance".
Tickets: $20. Show 7:00 pm
Dawn and Hawkes
You might remember them from “The Voice” Tickets: $15. Show 7:00 pm
Stand Up Comedy with
Sam Tallent and Friends Show @ 8:00pm
Tickets: $15. OR Premium Seats for $20.
I believe that in a great city, or even in a small city or a village, a great theater is the outward and visible sign of an inward and probable culture. –Laurence Olivier
Calendar of Events SATURDAY JULY 1 Mountain Wildflower Hike 8AM @ TBA Registration Required @ 970-871-5444 “Flag for the Fourth: Steamboat’s First Independence Day” Noon @ Library Lawn www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events MONDAY JULY 3 Driftwood 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com TUESDAY JULY 4 Yoga in the Botanic Park 9AM Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays $10 donation. Call/ text 970-846-5608 DJ DraLa 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY JULY 5 Mineral Springs Tour 9AM @ Arts Depot www.yampatika.org Tread of Pioneers Behind the Scenes Collection Tour Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org
Yampa Valley University Women’s Lunch 11:30 @ The Egg & I Linda.daquila@tampabay. rr.com Steamboat Theatrical Society Every Friday @ Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@gmail. com for info.
Town Challenge Mountain Bike Series (Storm Peak Hill Climb) 5:30PM @ Mt. Werner www.townchallenge.com
Brown Bag Lunch Series – “Everybody Knows Cookie” Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org
Book Signing with Lawrence Gregory 6PM @ Off the Beaten Path (Upstairs) www.steamboatbooks.com
First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE.
THURSDAY JULY 13
Kip Attaway and Jed Clampit 7PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Acutonic 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY JULY 8 Jed Clampit and Kip Attaway 7PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Sphynx 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
THURSDAY JULY 6
SUNDAY JULY 9
Bird Walk 8AM @ TBA @ 970-871-9151
Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon every Thursday @ Art Depot FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com
MONDAY JULY 10
Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com
TUESDAY JULY 11
Live Western Melodrama “The Secret of Yonder Mountain” 6:30PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Bud Werner Library Presents POV Film Fest 7PM @ Library Hall www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events FRIDAY JULY 7 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM Every Friday @ Yoga Center of Steamboat email@example.com 970-846-5608
To submit your events or calendar information e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.
Watershed Walks 9:30AM @ ampa River Core Trail 970-871-5444
Hike with a Yampatika Naturalist 10:30AM @ Gondola Square. 970-871-5444 to register Steamboat Art Museum presents: Summer Art Talks 5PM @ The Chief 970-870-1755 or email@example.com An Evening with David Baron – Library Author Series 7PM @ Library Hall www.steamboatbooks.com WEDNESDAY JULY 12 Mineral Springs Tour 9AM @ Arts Depot www.yampatika.org
MONDAY JULY 17 Young Bloods Collective Cocktails & CRIT(ique) with Brie Kole 6:30PM @ Pine Moon Gallery FREE. www.youngbloodscollective.org Publisher Picks Night 7PM @ Off the Beaten Path www.steamboatbooks.com
Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com
Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
Live Western Melodrama “The Secret of Yonder Mountain” 6:30PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com
Hike with a Yampatika Naturalist 10:30AM @ Gondola Square. 970-871-5444 to register
Bud Werner Library Presents “Deep Ocean: Lights in the Abyss” 7PM @ Library Hall www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
WEDNESDAY JULY 19
Bandits and Speak of the Devil 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
Guided Gourmet Lunch 10:30AM @ Gondola Square Registration & Fee required. 970-871-5444
FRIDAY JULY 14 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@gmail. com for info. Brown Bag Lunch Series “A Legacy of Learning” Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org SATURDAY JULY 15 Medicinal Herb Hike 8AM @ TBA Registration Required @ 970-871-5444 Keller Williams 7PM @ The Chief www.showclix.com/event/ keller-williams Whiskey Blanket w/DJ Steezy Nicks 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY JULY 16 Clarity of Mind Meditation Class 6PM @ Library Hall Kelsangthaye7@gmail.com
Guided Gourmet Lunch 10:30AM @ Gondola Square Registration & Fee required. 970-871-5444
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
TUESDAY JULY 18
Mineral Springs Tour 9AM @ Arts Depot www.yampatika.org
Pioneer Days at the Historic Mesa Schoolhouse 1PM @ Mesa Schoolhouse www.treadofpioneers.org Mark D Sanders 6PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Poetry Slam 6PM @ Off the Beaten Path www.steamboatbooks.com Bud Werner Library Presents “Tribal Justice” 7PM @ Library Hall www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events THURSDAY JULY 20 Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com Live Western Melodrama “The Secret of Yonder Mountain” 6:30PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Bud Werner Library Presents Lunafest Film Festival 7PM @ Library Hall $10 benefits Young Bloods Collective. www.steamboatlibrary.org/events
Cranford Hollow 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY JULY 21 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@gmail. com for info. Brown Bag Lunch Series – Pioneer Women Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org Open House at Historic Mesa Schoolhouse 2PM @ Mesa Schoolhouse www.treadofpioneers.org An Evening Out at Butcherknife Brewing featuring C Street Brass 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewing. FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com Book Signing with Dagny Mckinley 6PM @ Off the Beaten Path www.steamboatbooks.com Dawn and Hawkes 6PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com SATURDAY JULY 22 Yoga in Strings Park 9AM @ Strings Park FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com Reading by Laura Resau & Laura DiSilverio 5:30PM @ Off the Beaten Path www.steamboatbooks.com MONDAY JULY 24 Bud Werner Library’s Free Foreign Film: 1944 6:30PM @ The Chief www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com TUESDAY JULY 25 Hike with a Yampatika Naturalist 10:30AM @ Gondola Square. 970-871-5444 to register Tread of Pioneers Behind the Scenes Collection Tour 3:30PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org Steamboat Art Museum presents: Summer Art Talks 5PM @ The Chief 970-870-1755 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY JULY 26 Mineral Springs Tour 9AM @ Arts Depot www.yampatika.org Guided Gourmet Lunch 10:30AM @ Gondola Square Registration & Fee required. 970-871-5444
Town Challenge Mountain Bike Series (Howelsen Howler) 5:30PM @ Howelsen Hill www.townchallenge.com Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY JULY 27 Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park FREE. www.stringsmusicfestival.com Live Western Melodrama “The Secret of Yonder Mountain” 6:30PM @ The Chief www.chieftheater.com Bud Werner Library Presents a musical talk about John Philip Sousa 7PM @ Library Hall www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Great American Taxi 10PM @ Schmiggity’s $10. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY JULY 28 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@gmail. com for info. Brown Bag Lunch Series – “The Sherrod Family” Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum www.treadofpioneers.org SATURDAY JULY 29 Flattops Geology Hike 8AM @ TBA Registration Required at 970-871-5444 Stand up comedy with Sam Tallent and Friends 7PM @ The Chief – Adult Content! www.chieftheater.com Intuit Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
HappyHours Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily
McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily
First Friday Artwalk June 20, 2017 5 pm - 8 pm All over downtown
ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS
GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave 970.439.8196 Coveted by world-renowned collectors, GREGORY BLOCK opens his first Solo Show in Steamboat “VERGE of REMEMBRANCE” Friday, July 7, 5 p.m.
FHYSICAL ELEMENTS PERSONAL TRAINING STUDIO 9th and Oak 970.846.0828 Come see Cassett Yeager a Routt County local’s photography, all of which have been shot in the valley featuring horses, portraits and landscape photos. HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave 970.879.1919
Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays
O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily
The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily
The Pit on 5th 2:00 - 6:00 p.m.
JACE ROMICK GALLERY 813 Lincoln Ave. inside The Chief Theater 970-846-3877 Jace Romick’s photography capturing the American West and its lifestyle, paired with handcrafted artisanal frames to compliment his engaging photos.
Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday
Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily
MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822
THE SKI LOCKER 941 Lincoln Avenue, #100a, 303-882-4927
PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St 970.879.2787 presents “SUMMER FUN” paintings by acrylic artist CAROL JEAN, her Sunset Happy Hour works, an innovative expression of the Yampa Valley.
STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave 941.321.2809 Kole was born in Dreamboat and after living in Florida and New York, was able to find a way back. From laser engraved scrap plastic turned into jewelry to paintings on plastic, Kole draws her mediums from availability. “Being able to re-purpose or recycle has always motivated my creativity. It might look like borderline hoarding, but it’s all part of my process” says Kole. A graduate from USF Tampa with a BA in Studio Arts, Kole’s creativity ranges from traditional arts painting and drawing to stints as a fashion designer. Currently she gets commissioned to revamp cowboy boots and other footwear into unique, personal and one of a kind pieces of wearable art. She runs her family business, Steamboat Specialties which has afforded her use of her creative skill sets in a professional realm. She is also the co creator and current President of Young Bloods Collective.preserved by the medium she uses. Sista currently lives in Steamboat Springs with her fiance and their adorable puppy, Hazelnut.
Cantina Mexican Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily
The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily
Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily
Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.
Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs., Fri.,Sat.
Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.
Colorado High 5 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily
Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday
Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily
Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m. Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily: Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily
STEAMBOAT ART MUSEUM 807 Lincoln Ave., 870-1755 Colorado Nature Photography Invitational Exhibit featuring established and emerging photographers. Local photographer Cyndi Marlowe will be featured in the Store. STEAMBOAT SPRINGS ARTS COUNCIL AT THE DEPOT 1001 13th St. 970.879.9008 STEAMBOAT SPRINGS CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave 970.846.8119 W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave., 846-1783 Julie Anderson creates 3d sculptural ceramic pieces with hand carved textures, gradient glazes and repetition of form. WILD HORSE GALLERY 802 Lincoln Ave., 879-5515
HOLY NAME CATHOLIC CHURCH 524 Oak St 970.879.0671
URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave 970.879.9169 Local Artist Fernando Maldonado found his style through his interest in tattoo art. He uses intense color and definition with quite a bit of light play that can be seen on murals at Mambo Italiano and Steamboat Smokehouse.
Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily
Steamboat Springs Farmers Market Entertainment and art are not isolated. –Martin Kippenberger
Routt County Disasters
And Then The Murders Began By Lyn Wheaton America was once illustrated by the paintings of Norman Rockwell. And then the murders began. The town of Sea Girt was armed to the teeth. Sea Girt did not have a big hunting culture -- unless you consider prepubescent boys shooting squirrels with their BB guns a hunting culture -- but everyone had guns. It was, as people would say, their patriotic duty. They were told this, and they believed it. Who doesn’t want to be a patriot, after all? Young women lounged in beach chairs with foil-covered record albums propped under their chins. Kids squealed at the water’s edge each time a wave crashed on the shoreline. Lifeguards, perched above the fray, twirled their pistols rhythmically around their fingers -- first to the left, then reversing the motion to the right -- the swagger, all part of a mating ritual. Teen girls smelling of coconut strutted like show ponies and loitered around the lifeguard stand. They sucked in their oiled stomachs, batted their eyelashes, and giggled often. A BENNY wearing white socks with sandals climbs on the jetty. A Guard spots him, jumps up, and blows his whistle. The BENNY ignores him. The Guard holsters his weapon and dismounts the stand. At the scene of the crime, he pulls his piece and takes aim. The BENNY scrambles to get off the jetty, slips on some moss and smashes his bin-
If You Love Your Pets Leave Them Home! Summer is Hot in Colorado! High altitude sunshine heats your car like an oven! Don’t risk your fur friends life even on a cloudy day by leaving your pet in the car. The temperature inside your vehicle can rise almost 20º F in just 10 minutes. In 20 minutes, it can rise almost 30º F. The longer you wait, the higher it goes.
Stop by the Pet Kare Clinic for a free car heat-detector.
Happy Pets! Happy People!
www.petkareclinic.com 102 Anglers Drive
oculars. He receives a citation for walking on the rocks.
Shot dead in the middle of preparing a tax return.
A child orders a hot pretzel from the guy working the grill at the Pavilion on the boardwalk. The kid, a town outcast, takes the pretzel over to the side window to dress it with mustard and notices the pretzel is broken. Feeling shortchanged, he goes back to the guy that sold it to him and holds up the broken piece. It resembles a gun. The short order cook draws his weapon and hits the alarm button under the counter. The child is arrested for committing a terroristic act by pretzel.
I walked into Nanny’s house and she whipped a gun out of the pocket of her apron.
I walked in the house to find Mr. Father packing gunpowder into bullets. “Father, why are you doing that?” I asked. First he was gluing pebbles from the driveway into his mouth to replace his missing teeth, now this. “Lennie I no have money to buy bullets and the goddamn shit!” He always said the goddamn shit. It was one of the few phrases in the English language he had mastered. In his thick German accent, he rambled on: “The Americans blew off my finger in the war.” He held up his four-fingered hand to show off the stub where the pinkie once was. “I no let them make a monkey out of me again.” It was sad. Here we lived in Sea Girt, and Mr. Father couldn’t afford real bullets like the rest of us. It just wasn’t fair. You would think my dad would buy him some teeth, and some bullets while he was at it. But Mr. Father liked to tinker anyway. It gave him something to do when he wasn’t fighting with my brother, Billy, over what they were going to watch on the only TV we had, a black and white, in the basement. Mr. Father liked Lawrence Welk, and Billy liked Hogan’s Heroes. It wouldn’t be long before one of them shot the other in the ongoing television dispute. My mother fiddled with the safety on her gun. “Oh fiddlesticks.” She gave up and tossed it into her purse. “This goddamn thing never works right.” She drove off in the green Ford Station wagon. She was going to play golf with her group, The Bel-Aire Babes. My mother arrived at the golf course and attempted to put the gun into the holster fastened on the waistband of her golf skirt. She always got nervous when she thought she was going to be late. Flustered, she tossed the pistol on top of her clubs. While wheeling the bag to the green, the gun went off and put a hole through the canopy of a golf cart. “Oh for the love of God!” She said, looking around to make sure nobody saw her. The ladies played nine holes and retired to Beetles for a “cocktail.” The Plectron went off. A long, high-pitched beep, followed by a series of short beeps and then the emergency message: A well-known area accountant has been murdered.
970-879-5273 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
“Nanny what are you doing? It’s me, Lynnie.” “Oh, Lynnie don’t sneak up on me. I thought you were a communist. They are very sneaky. You’re not going to collect for UNICEF again this Halloween are you? Please Lynnie,” she begged, “Don’t do it. It’s a Communist organization. Oh, and by the way, if you want the scandal sheets there are some in the sewing room.” I glanced at The National Enquirer. The headline above a picture of a pregnant woman with a horrified look on her face, read: Aliens Force Me To Have Baby! “Nanny,” I said, “these stories are not true.” Nanny looked at me with disgust. My ignorance shocked her even more than the story about the alien’s baby. “Of course they’re true Lynnie. Don’t be ridiculous; they can’t print them if they’re not.” I took a cookie and left. She was dangerous. My sister was so desperate to get the babysitting job I had, every time I sat for the kids next door, she spied on me and made up fantastic tales about bizarre goings on. I realized this tactic wasn’t working for her when I caught her staring at me through the scope of a rifle. Naturally, my parents didn’t believe me. She had them convinced that I was always the one lying. I’m not that into babysitting anyway; she can have the job. Guns take the fun out of everything; sibling rivalry, teenage angst, domestic unrest, road rage, concerts, movies, shopping at the mall, and just going outside in general. Cocktail hour was especially dicey with The Mothers running around packing heat. Between their volatile moods from the vodka, the collective hatred for their husbands and the oppression they felt, nobody was safe. None of these people had any business owning a gun but that didn’t matter anymore. Anyone that wanted a gun got a gun. This was America after all – it was in our Constitution. The only people that really could be trusted with a gun had no desire to own one, like my father, for example. “What do I need a gun for?” He would say. My father was not a man driven by fear or anger. And now he was dead. The list of suspects was long. I thought about my mother’s words: “I can’t stand your father. I’m too smart for him. He likes all those dippy women.” Was there a string of dead mistresses somewhere? Was my mother a serial killer?
A cop car pulled up in front of my house.
The Wandering Rose
Land of the Free
I heard a loud bang. My mother screamed, “Goddammit!”
I watched from the landing upstairs. My mother was acting spastic, the way she always did when she felt cornered. “Oh uh, I didn’t mean to Biff. I just could never figure out how to operate that confounded thing.” Biff, the cop said: “So you’re admitting you shot him, Marilyn?” She jerked her neck. “Well, you don’t know how hard I have it. I worked all day, and then Bill, the ungrateful bastard, complained about the dinner I made for him.”
Her eyes darted around the room. “Salisbury Steak and Baked Apples. “Do you mind if I take a look around?” Biff asked, and pulled a couple red Stouffer’s boxes from the trash. He held them up. “This what you cooked, Marilyn?” Biff ramped up the interrogation: “What was it, Marilyn… an accident or a crime of passion?” “Weren’t you listening to me? You men are all alike. I didn’t do it. It was Lynnie. She did it. She’s nothing but trouble. Ugh, I need a drink.” Like my dad, I didn’t have a gun either. But … If I had a gun when that psycho picked me up hitchhiking, I wouldn’t have had to wonder if I were going to live or die. Miraculously, I survived without a weapon. If I had a gun, a lot of my problems would have been solved in as long as it took for me to shove a magazine into the weapon and fire. But that would have been too easy. What would I have learned from that, aside from how to maneuver around within the confines of a prison? I have never been one to take the easy route. I guess I enjoy the challenge.
The Flag Forever
Red flower petals unfurling, opening, stretching up to sun and sky. Red of the sky at night as the sun falls below the horizon. Red, the ribbon in the hair of a child. Red lips curled around a straw. Red blood pooling under the kill. Red.
Oh my God, we’re gonna be orphans. I guess we can say goodbye to the good life in Sea Girt. My fear was alleviated when I saw my mother on the staircase. Her gun had gone off and grazed her foot, but she was fine. She was German.
“Well Marilyn, what did you feed him?”
ish on toes that want to be sucked.
Blue sky embracing earth. Blue eyes of a man who has forgotten he is beautiful. Blue lake to slide inside. The color of a bruise. Blue columbine embracing white. Blue toenail pol-
White of sky before morning is painted. White twinkling through night. Bone. White teeth revealed from a smile. White fur of the spirit bear. White a place for beginnings. White. Land, a place where we can build. Land, a place that offers shelter. Land where animals scamper, feed, nurture. Land where one deer calls to another, doesn’t understand death, only understands connection. Land where we lie at night, where dew forms in drops, where snow buries, where plants are nourished. Land.
Like white and black or poor and rich Lines and dots don’t mix? Like hot and cold and life and death One before the next? But as I stand and look upon that flag we call our own I think of how they lived and died At once And for our home. The stars and bands no different now Than when their muskets fired. Our hearts and souls Their hopes and dreams Forever intertwined. Never do the colors run, Nor did our brothers flee. Again and from the stench of night We’ll raise the proud and free. The red and blue and stars and stripes forever we’ll engrave With blood and tears Our hopes and dreams One nation ever brave.
by Mandy Miller
Feet touching earth. Nose filled with fragrant scents. Eyes open to every detail. Legs moving up and away. Belly cavernous, waiting to be filled, arms raised to morning’s light. Free, the feeling of walking without fear. Free, waking up without bullets interrupting your sleep. Free, smelling air without pollution. Free, having clean water to drink. Free, dancing naked and no one caring. Free.
The events detailed above are what I imagine America would have looked like at the time of our bicentennial if things were then as they are now. Happy Birthday, America -- while you’re enjoying your independence, be careful you don’t shoot yourself in the foot.
BO UR et a rT g p fo i and u n WiF KU* Sig d e O nag EE R Ma FR
Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….
970-871-8500 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic……… *12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons
Arthur C. Clarke
It seems to me that the time for subtlety in our American life has passed. –Lydia Millet
Tales from the Front Desk On Exhibit Now!
Hayden Heritage Center
By Aimee Kimmey
Visit the Museum! Open most Tues-Sun 11-5 pm
haydenheritagecenter.org / email@example.com haydenheritagecenter.org / firstname.lastname@example.org / (970)276-4380
300 W. Pearl St. Hayden
017 Front desk. 6:43pm.
The guy in the long, dark coat hovered at the edge of the lobby for too long. He wasn’t browsing brochures or flipydenmus eum@zir kel.us / (9 70)276ping through the paper or enjoying the seating area. It was -4380 like he was working up to something.
ter.org / ha
201 Summer 2017 7
The story you are about to read is true... more or less.
20 minutes west of Steamboat Springs in Hayden
The Knife Show
haydenheritagecenter.org / email@example.com / (970)276-4380
Wolf Mountain Pizza welcomes the Triple Crown Baseball Tournament to the Yampa Valley. Our two dining rooms can accommodate your group and our new booths in our secondary dining room will add extra comfort to your visit.
The clerk checked in the latest arrivals, watching him out of the corner of her eye. He was the sort of guy her mother would have called “Smarmy.” He’d told her all about himself when he checked in yesterday, he had lots of irons in the fire. Without asking, she’d gotten to hear ALL about them. As the retired couple left for their room, the guy sidled up to the front desk. “Hey, wanna’ see something cool?” He asked in a conspiratorial manner.
The clerk was beginning to feel genuinely uncomfortable. But the kid didn’t notice a bit. He was completely engrossed in his exhibition.
“Um...” She was guessing not.
“Um...!” She was startled; that certainly wasn’t what she expected.
“Oh, oh, this! You’ll love this!” From the back pocket of his jeans, he whipped out vicious looking metal hook. As big as a fist, it looked like some kind of razor sharp dinosaur claw with a curved handle. It seemed the perfect tool to eviscerate anything in arm’s reach. He slashed it around in the air a bit, his trench coat flaying out behind him like some kind of wannabe superhero, or villain.
Oblivious to her reaction, he set down the machete to pull a massive Bowie knife from another pocket. “Check this out!”
Just as the clerk began to wonder if it was time to call the police, the guy gathered up all of his knives, stowing them in their various hiding spots.
Holding it up to admire his reflection in the blade, he grinned, “It’s called The Outlaw. That’s real alligator skin on the handle.”
He shrugged nonchalantly, “Yeah, well, that’s all I got... for now!”
Before she could answer, he whipped out a machete, gleaming and unused. “Sweet, huh?”
With a sly grin he shuffled off for the door.
Please come see us at and enjoy our delicious pizza and burgers! 107 W Jefferson Ave Hayden Colorado 81639 970-276-1337
Dinner 5pm Wednesday- Sunday Bar 3pm everyday Sunday Bruch Coming Soon Happy Hour 3-6 Monday - Thursday
“Oh and I got this,” From his biker boot he produced a long slender black dagger, the kind used to impale people from behind.
Gettin’ Hitched? Steamboat Specialties
can help make your special occasion a success!
Live Music Saturdays For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
“Um. Okay.” The clerk glanced around wondering if anybody else had been treated to the knife show.
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Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide
Break Up With Them Already!
It’s all about your Happiness
By Mr. Helpful, M.D.
You haven’t been yourself lately? The roller coaster of life has you in its grip and it’s taking you for an insane, horrible, terrible, no-good ride, huh? Ever think you might be living in the wrong town or home? Working at the wrong job? What about dating the wrong person? Our lives run smoothly when we are in harmony with our surroundings and most importantly ourselves. Strangely/ wonderfully enough, being unhappy can sometimes be the best thing to happen, because it brings to the surface an irritation that has been hidden. Taking a realistic look at what doesn’t work in our life and then making the decision to remove that part from our daily life. It’s just that simple. Once again, let’s bring it home to the subject of dating. When we throw the mass complexities of an actual person into the mix and fall in the arena of “holy hell this sucks and I have no idea what to do”. Fugettabout it! We’re all screwed and can never survive even the rest of the week. Mass Hysteria!! Because we are now involving emotions and attachment to avoid the internal chemical nightmare that is breaking up with someone. No one wants to be the bad guy. Actually, there are some people in the world who take a sick pleasure in being mean to others. My advice is to not be friends with them. But back to you and the other nice folks in the world. It’s true, the majority of people you will ever meet for dating do not want to be the one who does the breaking up, and certainly not on a mean level. At the same time, there is a self-preservation that we all have, to keep discomfort away from ourselves moment to moment. If any of us think we are being threatened on a personal level, a self-defense reaction kicks in and we do the old “Fight or Flight”; whereas we stand up for ourselves and kick ass or we run out of the house like it’s on fire. For dating this could manifest in many different reactions. Just know that any mature adult will first try to talk it out and discover deeper meanings to what is being said or done. Trying to understand the basic nature of “Why should we break up?” or “Why are you treating me like shit?” or even “Why is this happening to me?” After that, the gloves might come off and the police might be called to break up an ugly scene at the local gelato shop next to the bowling alley. Wow, that escalated quickly! Getting back to your happiness. If you are involved with someone and are having more anxiety about it than happy thoughts, you might want to reconsider continuing to see them in a dating way. Here are some points to think about while you are eating chocolate to sooth an upset heart: • If you are always nervous about being on time for them because they criticize you for being late. • If they are sarcastic on a daily basis without letting up, especially when you are clearly upset about not only what they say, but also how often and the tone, they say it in.
• If they have a history of behavior that makes you concerned for your safety. • If you are running out of money because of how they want to you to treat them. (I.e. buying them gifts, taking them on trips, paying their rent, etc.) • If either of you are physically violent toward the other in a non-sexual behavior. This includes lashing out unexpectedly, hitting or grabbing the other to correct someone’s behavior and/or pushing or shoving to make a point.
Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column and others. Next month – Weird vs Illegal – Sexual Positions from around the country. How to thrill your date and not get arrested.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
What about you or your friends? Can you tell when it’s time to get the hell out of a bad situation? Can you give the right advice to friends about when they are in the middle of a shit storm and don’t know it or know what to do? Can you take advice from them when they care about you? Not one person on the planet can see the back of his or her own head. I love that truth. It is a Universal Truth. So yes indeed we must rely on others to tell us is we have gum in our hair. Gather good friends, dear reader. Trust in them when they tell you that you are in a bad relationship or dating the wrong person. Break up with someone who does not appreciate you. Drop those terrible friends who are bad friends to your face or behind your back. More friends are on the way, and a far better date is out there waiting to tell you that you are a ray of sunshine in their life.
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Breaking up with someone because of violence. ** Break up with them already ** Time and time again, I will drill into your lovely head that IN THE END IT IS ALL ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. If they get upset because you broke up with them, then they will get upset. How they handle it is up to them, not you. Why waste your time with someone who abuses you, treats you disrespectfully and doesn’t give you the joy on a daily basis you deserve? YOU can be safe, smart, loved and happy and live in the arms of comfort of another who will love you. Oh BTW – people don’t get HINTS or understand Silence. We have to spell it out for them. If you are merely hinting that you are no longer into them, them will persist and continue to come around your place. Or from your point of view, just basically annoy you. If you do not communicate back that they should fuck off and instead you just remain Silent (hoping they will go away), that only upsets people into thinking that they did something wrong. They may even tip over into the dark side of “Are you cheating on me?!?”, when the two of you have been drifting apart. At this point, crazy can slip into the picture and I strongly suggest telling all your friends to watch your back. Perhaps have a “conversation” with a police officer and ask their opinion on the matter.
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I don’t look at a knife the way I used to. I’m more aware of what it is. I think twice. This is a key finger. It’s in every chord. –Neil Young
A Closer Look
Vitamins and More Vitamins By Monica Yager
Vitamins aren’t just pills anymore. The trendy new way to get your vitamins is through vitamin infusions. Vitamininfused water and vitamin-infused coffee, even vitamininfused vitamins, are based on the notion that if vitamins are good for you, getting as many vitamins into your body as you can would be even better. So vitamin infusions, the kinds that are administered straight into a vein through intravenous (IV) injection, should be even better. Certainly, a lot of claims are made for this type of vitamin infusions, with the procedure proposed for conditions from cancer to hangovers. But, is this really health care? Vitamin infusions supposedly began with a medical doctor, John Myers, who regularly injected his patients with his cocktail of vitamins and minerals for the treatment of pretty much everything. When he died, another doctor took over his practice, but not knowing what was in Myers’ cocktail, he made his own version and, curiously, called it Myers’ cocktail. But the whole vitamin infusion thing didn’t have much popularity until it was marketed to Hollywood celebrities. After all, who better to sell this to than someone with plenty of disposable income because that is what vitamin infusions do, dispose of income, quickly. So are there any benefits to the practice of IV vitamin infusions?
In science-based medicine, yes: vitamin injections are used in the treatment of certain deficiencies and vitamins and other essential nutrients are administered to individuals whose capacity to ingest those nutrients is compromised. This established medical protocol has limited usage. However, the alternative health industry claims a much broader application for IV vitamin infusions from the treatment of chronic disease and life-threatening illness to more mundane conditions like the crud and the inexplicable wellness and anti-aging. But those are unproven claims, so no, there is no convincing evidence or obvious benefit to injected vitamins, unless there is a known deficiency. Still, this practice has become a trend not just due to the “elite” factor, but because some clients do feel better, at least for a short time. There are explanations for that. The first is quite apparent: the placebo effect. These infusions come with names like Recovery, Immunity, Wellness, Fatburning, De-stressing. With names like that, the client is likely to feel the same. Second, most of what practitioners claim to treat are self-limiting conditions, they run their course and resolve on their own without intervention. Crud, jet lag, aches and pains, even hangover, are selflimiting. Third, the increase of liquids to the bloodstream
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may be enough for clients to experience a brief “wellness boost”. This works out quite well for the practitioner who doesn’t even have to provide a diagnosis, since the clients provide their own and all the practitioner has to do is grab a bag labeled with whatever the client might want to feel and insert a needle. And right there is where this whole thing can get a little scammier. It has to do with medical codes, the numbers that match a procedure that is then sent off to insurance companies for reimbursement. There are codes for IV procedures and there are some practitioners that will try to use them to get insurance companies to pay. But insurance companies consider intravenous micronutrient therapy, including Myers’ Cocktail, alternative interventions that are experimental and investigational with inadequate evidence in peer-reviewed published medical literature of their effectiveness. But besides all that, this procedure seems a rather unnatural way to get proper nutrition, coming from an industry that promotes natural everything. Human beings evolved over millions of years to naturally and efficiently derive necessary nutrition from food. And because the human body only absorbs and uses what it needs, excreting the rest, those random vitamins flooded straight into the bloodstream become not so special or fantastical, but a costly lifestyle choice.
Vitamin infusions are not so great for health care consumers who spend precious health care dollars and rely on the promises of the practice while delaying proper diagnosis and real health care. I s https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/a-closer-look-at-vita- y min-injections/ r p Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Minneapolis, MN and attended Colorado Northwest Community O College (CNCC) and Colorado Mountain College (CMC) Artsr & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination p of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative a health world as former owner of a health food store and e the encouragement of a couple of professors to write, w write, write. w
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Hope Plus Rain By LA Bourgeois
Well, the deluge came. We traversed the unfamiliar streets and highways of Raleigh through rain so thick it obscured our vision. A simple sign at the main entrance to the parking area read “Concert Rescheduled for Wednesday.”
out my knitting and squeaked with glee.
I checked my email and sure enough, there was the notice in my spam folder. The time they sent out the missive was after we arrived in Raleigh but before we took our lives in our hands traveling across town.
I don’t want to spoil anything but YOUNEEDTOSEETHISMOVIEOMGOMGOMG!
Dang it! After a moment of sadness for missing this fantastic concert (Four Voices: Joan Baez, Mary Chapin Carpenter & the Indigo Girls – WAAAAAHHHHH!), we decided to risk our lives further by going to the movies. Only Wonder Woman could replace those wonder women of song!
In a moment of hope, I cast on the first of my rainbow socks. Perfect for summer knitting, socks avoid covering your bare legs with their wooly warmth. The joy of the rainbow lifted my spirits as I sat in the car while the rain poured out of the sky. Oh yes. At this point, I think we’ve moved to the land of rain, rain, rain! One Monday morning in early June, we packed the car with folding chairs, my knitting project, and umbrellas for an outdoor concert. Armed with an email promising that only a deluge would stop the music, we drove four hours to Raleigh for what we were sure would be an amazing evening.
Friends Don’t Let Friends Float Buzzed!
Finding directions to a cinema online, we headed over through the declining rain. The rain stopped as we parked and I forgot the umbrella in the back of the car. Even when I remembered it (only twenty feet away), we just kept walking. A project bag containing my beloved rainbow sock hung from my wrist. The air was pleasant. The warm breeze slight. A guy and his dog relaxed on an astroturf lawn in the middle of the little town square. An umbrella seemed a bit overcautious.
While Wonder Woman sprang into action, my needles clicked away. The gusset combined with the simple pattern to thwart my efforts. After losing my place for the third time (after Steve Trevor needed rescuing AGAIN!), I stored my sock with its uneven gusset and held hands with my sweetie.
Leaving the theater, we walked into a rainshower. My sweetie offered to go get the car so I wouldn’t get wet but really, how could I let her do that after watching this woman conquer her enemies? A little rain? I might not be the most pleasant woman on the planet, but rain has yet to melt me. The next day, I managed to knit in the car, another milestone toward my recovery! I balanced the gusset. A stitch here, a row there continued as my sweetie drove us back home. Over the rest of the week, with the help of the fabulous tennis players of the French Open and even more rain keeping me inside, I spent enough time knitting to finish the whole sock. I kitchenered the toe closed as the men took the court for the final on Sunday morning. By the end of the match, I’d cast on the second sock. While I wasn’t even looking, I began to finish projects. Real live projects. Hope plus rain. Who knew it could be the magic combination?
-LA Bourgeois writes and knits around the web at Housewyfe.com.
Drink and popcorn in hand, we swung into the empty theater to pick out our seats. Settling into our chairs, I pulled
Drinking while tubing on the river is not the way to have fun. Accidents will occur at any time with poor judgement under the influence of alcohol. Stay safe and have fun.
www.grandfutures.org Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. –Desmond Tutu
The Paw Print
When Your Besty Wants to Go Too
How to Help Your Dog Beat the Summer Heat and Feel Good By Debora Black released into the air. Air movement over your dog’s skin and coat assists this process. So the act of running creates airflow that helps cool your dog while, of course, the exercise itself is heating her core temperature. Conduction is the process in which your dog transfers her body heat out of her skin and onto a cool surface. During exercise your dog will usually seek out a body of water to take a dunk. You should allow her to do this, because she knows this is what her body needs. If your dog doesn’t like to swim or lay down in shallow water, then you should gently pour water over her back and upward onto her belly.
It’s summer and your dog knows it’s GO time. But it’s SUMMER! When it’s not fabulous, it’s absolutely sweltering! Believe This: On a warm day, trails, sidewalks, cars, tents, and truck beds quickly become hazardous environments for our dogs. So if you and your dog want to be together, you are going to need to make some good decisions. Here are 3 things to know that will help you keep your dog healthy.
2. ABOUT THE CAR IT’S TOO HOT TO LEAVE YOUR DOG IN THE CAR. Here are some surprising statistics provided by Jennifer Good, a member of our Steamboat Springs Animal Safety and Control Unit. HOW HOT IS YOUR VEHICLE? OUTSIDE 70 70 75 75 80 80 85 85 90 90
INSIDE 89 104 94 109 99 114 104 119 109 124
ELAPSED TIME 10 Minutes 30 Minutes 10 Minutes 30 Minutes 10 Minutes 30 Minutes 10 Minutes 30 Minutes 10 Minutes 30 Minutes
If for some reason you HAVE TO leave your dog in the car, you need a good strategy that will help to keep her safe for a few minutes. • Remember that your car is not a safe environment for your dog. Seriously. Dogs do become sick and do die from being left in cars, even for short durations. • Park in the shade.
Taking breaks and allowing your dog’s breathing, heart rate, and pulse to slow during the exercise process is very important. A 10-15 minute time-out in the shade can prevent her core temperature from reaching levels that will induce sickness or worse. She will have the opportunity to lay down and use conduction to transfer her body heat to the cooler ground.
• Buy a really good sun-reflective screen for the windshield and use it, every time.
Remember that how much endurance your dog has changes from day to day, depending on the conditions of the situation. Your dog relies entirely on you to give her the opportunity to rest, to drink, to wear protective gear, and to check her vital and other signs. Make sure you are tuned-in to her and give her this care.
• Never be gone for more than a few minutes—don’t go have a beer, sit down to dinner, or go mountain biking. Run in and run out.
1. ABOUT EXERCISE YOUR DOG DOES NOT COOL DOWN THE SAME WAY YOU DO. You and your dog do not feel the same way when you are exercising. When you feel good, your dog can be feeling very badly, and she actually can be going into crisis, even though she keeps running or playing. Dogs do not sweat. During exercise, your dog’s body cools down through the Evaporation process that happens during panting. On a physiological level, your dog uses a lot of water in this cooling process. She needs water intake at regular intervals in order to maintain the cooling process and to regulate her core temperature. Panting isn’t as efficient as the full body cool down that sweating provides you. So your dog also needs to cool down in other ways. Radiation happens when heated blood is brought to the skin’s surface and the heat is
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• Leave all the windows cracked open by a few inches. • Have a bowl of water available for your dog. • Got a pick-up truck? Make sure you have a protective and comfortable surface in the bed of your truck, so your dog can lay down and her paws won’t be burned.
• Don’t let people distract you. Say, I’m sorry I can’t talk now. My dog is waiting for me in the car. 3. ABOUT HEAT EXHAUSTION HEAT EXHAUSTION IS VERY DANGEROUS AND CAN MAKE YOUR DOG VERY ILL. SHE COULD EASILY DIE IF YOU DON’T TAKE QUICK ACTION. YOU MIGHT SEE ONE OR TWO OR SEVERAL OF THESE SIGNS. • Rapid panting. Normal resting breathes per minute in the average dog is 10-35. • Drooling. • Pasty white saliva around the mouth and gums. • Gums that don’t immediately go back to pink when pressed with your finger. • Gums that are red instead of pink, or gums that are pale
Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group • Skin that doesn’t immediately go back to taught when pinched. • Fatigue, weakness, listlessness. • Slowing down. • Trying to stop or to lay down.
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• The need to encourage your dog to “come on.” • The feeling that my dog just doesn’t seem quite right. • Temperature above 102.5 degrees F (39 degrees C). •Rapid heart rate. Resting normal beats per minute is 60-100 in large dogs/100-140 in small dogs. • Little or no urine output • Vomiting or diarrhea HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO • When you first notice indications of heat exhaustion, discontinue all exercise, offer your dog water, and get her to a cool area. • Don’t force her to drink. • Soak her coat in cool water or apply cool compresses to her body and abdomen (the belly skin near her hind legs). Don’t use ice, which could increase her physical distress. • Place a fan in front of her, or roll down the car windows if driving. • Once your dog surpasses her ability to cool down internally, her organs will begin to shutdown. So don’t wait while you try to figure out whether or not you should go to the vet; just go. More Tips to Help Your Dog Beat the Summer Heat Learn to check your dog’s heart rate and pulse. Carry a thermometer in your exercise gear.
As a part of the four-part series on health care, this month the Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group addresses issues that come up often in our valley: Where to seek help if you need cancer care; options if you are uninsured; and where to go if you need mental health care. If you need financial help for Cancer Care, you can make appointments with the following to discuss options. • Yampa Valley Medical Center. 1024 Central Park Dr, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487. Phone 970.879.1322. • The Financial Assistance Program is solely funded by Yampa Valley Medical Center. It covers all urgent/emergent services and medically necessary services. You will need to contact a Patient Health Benefit Advisor before applying to determine if you qualify for financial assistance. You may reach them by calling the one of the following numbers. Patients with last names A-L - Call 1-970-8701137. Patients with last names M-Z - Call 1-970-871-2487 • Yampa Valley Medical Center also offers Certified Application Counselors to assist in applying for the Colorado Indigent Care Program (CICP), insurance through Connect for Health Colorado and Medicaid.
Get your dog a swamp cooler or reflective vest to help keep her core temperature lower. Alternatively, pour a jug of cool water over your dog’s back and belly.
• The Memorial Hospital at Craig, 750 Hospital Loop, Craig, CO 81625. Phone 970.826.3125.
Buy summer booties to protect your dog’s paws from hot pavement and rough trails.
• TMH Discount Program: The Memorial Hospital offers several programs to help patients afford the cost of medical care received at The Memorial Hospital.
Don’t go anywhere without a “must have” collapsible dog bowl and water. Know the temperature and don’t exercise your dog during the hot part of the day. During mid-day and afternoon outings, stay on grassy areas, where there is less surface heat radiating upward and impacting your dog. Find shady trails. Go swimming!
• Patients who are uninsured, who are below 250% of the Federal Poverty Level, and who do not qualify for the Colorado Indigent Care Program (CICP) may qualify for a discount through the TMH Financial Assistance Program. • Colorado Indigent Care Program: Some patients may qualify for a discount on medical bills by qualifying for the Colorado Indigent Care Program (CICP). If you are currently uninsured and need a physician and/ or insurance, this organization can help you.
services, behavioral health support, immunizations, dental services and low-cost prescriptions. Services are provided on a sliding-fee-scale based on income and eligibility. • Northwest Colorado Health also provides assistance in applying for health insurance options like Medicaid, CHP+ and lower cost health insurance through Connect for Health Colorado. If you need a test for a medical diagnosis and you do not have insurance, call these people. Northwest Colorado Health (phone: 970.879.1632) provides laboratory services on a sliding fee scale to lowincome and uninsured clients. They will also help established patients find financial assistance for more complex testing and/or specialty care and can even help you find transportation if needed. If you need mental health care, call these people. • Mind Springs Health (MSH) is a full service Community Mental Health Center. Mind Springs Health provides psychiatry, individual, couples, family and group therapy services for mental health and substance use treatment. MSH is a Medicaid and Medicare provider and accepts most insurance. They also offer a sliding fee scale that slides all the way to $0 based on income. MSH also provides 24 hour 365 day a year crisis services for the entire county. Crisis services are free of charge and are available to anyone. The staff at MSH is a quality mix of licensed staff with experience and passion in applying evidence based therapeutic services. MSH has been serving Routt County’s behavioral health needs for over 45 years. To contact MSH call 970-879-2141.
• To contact the 24-hour crisis line at Mind Springs Health, call 1-888-207-4004. • Routt County also has several private practice therapists that are listed in the local phone books. Next month, you can look forward to reviews from the Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group on the possibilities for National Health Care Plans.
• Northwest Colorado Health (970- 879-1632) provides low-cost medical care, health screenings, women’s health
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. –Josh Billings
Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries
March 21 - April 19
There really isn’t anything worse then getting pepper spray in your eyes. Maybe this is a good time to stop mugging people, or at least buy a pair of goggles.
f a e L n lde
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April 20 - May 20
May 20 - June 20
June 21 - July 22
digesting), the longer they will last. Good thinking lazy-pants.
July 23 - August 23
August 23 - September 22
How long can you bang your head on the wall? One day, you will get through to the other side... or you will knock yourself unconscious. Either way, you’ll finally get some peace and quiet.
November 22 - December 21
And just like that, the balloon you have been inflating for so long finally reaches its breaking point and explodes. Next time, it might be a good idea to keep your face a little bit L further from the pop. E R A P
AP S E T A R This fortnight you willCrevert NT back to baby ONtheEless you use your C food, convinced that S LAS G teeth (for chewing) and your organs (for Cancer
October 24 - November 21
This fortnight you will try to earn your fortune by inventing a time machine that is guaranteed to zap you into the... present... Oh clever, clever you.
This fortnight, you will get a pot of gold, ride on a unicorn, befriend a pixie and have rainbows float out of your ears followed by pretty, pretty butterflies! No... just kidding. That won’t really happen.
Your past is a conquest to unveil. Maybe it’s the sense of surprise that keeps it so interesting and fun to dissect.
It’s funny; you were pretending for so long that you have ended up actually enjoying what you were acting like you liked. Huh... imagine that...
September 23 - October 23
Sometimes, no matter how rebellious and edgy it seems – or how expensive your halfcaf-apple-spice latte might be. You’re actually just a normal dude with a beard and some skinny jeans.
December 22 - January 19
You have sipped a taste of the next step just for a moment. You have been given a small glimpse of what you will experience, but in some far distant future. How’s that for mysterious?
January 20 - February 18
On the contrary, there is a Santa Claus. You saw him last week at the mall next to the clearance Halloween costumes and across from the Easter display.... remember?
February 19 - March 20
They will never know all of your secrets and you will never know all of theirs. Even if you take a spoon and scrape their brain clean of all the hidden darkness, there will always be one little secret that escapes the threat of being revealed and judged.
The Valley Voice is sad to announce the passing of longtime contributor Dale Boberg. Dale was a part of the Valley Voice almost from day one; his comics have appeared in nearly every issue, going back more than five years. His passing leaves a void that will be difficult to fill. Thanks for everything Dale! You will be missed.
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