Valley Living Spring 2016 by Valley Living

free! Spring 2016

Websites make coordinating meals for others a click

Celebrate with us! See page 9 for Art Contest details

Youth sports: Guidance for families Shenandoah Spotlight on Shelley Newman Chores: A recipe for cooperation

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2 living • Spring 2016

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Contents 4 Editorial 5

Community Connections

Websites make coordinating meals for others a click

Art Contest

Youth sports: Guidance for families

The good fight

A Mother’s Day story about two sons

What houseplants do for you

Riding the bipolar roller coaster

Four reasons to watch classic television with your family

Shenandoah Spotlight on Shelley Pierce Newman

Chores: A recipe for cooperation

Strawberry Salad with Poppyseed Dressing

What do you know about Easter’s origins?

A mother’s plea for her son with serious mental illness

In search of a sunset, I found serenity, too

Embracing your stepmom role: Ten tips to help

Word Search

In Every Issue

Community Connections pg. 5

Money Matters pg. 12

Family Forum pg. 17

Shenandoah Spotlight pg. 19

Cooking Corner pg. 22

Living can be found at these locations, and more, throughout the Valley: Harrisonburg DQ Grill & Chill, Carlton St. DQ Grill Harmony Square Friendly City Food Coop Fox’s Pizza Den Gift and Thrift Golden Corral Hardesty Higgins Harrisonburg Farmer’s Market Kate’s Natural Products Massanutten Regional Library

Mercy House Mr. J’s Harmony Square Red Front Supermarket Sentara RMH Clinic Sentara RMH Medical Center Rt. 11 North Exxon Salvation Army Store Sharp Shopper Shenandoah Heritage Farmers Market Styles Unlimited

Bridgewater/Dayton Dayton Farmer’s Market Bridgewater Foods Supermarket Broadway/Timberville Broadway Supermarket Crider’s Store Mac’s Superette Turner Ham

Elkton/Shenandoah Countryside Market/Exxon 340 Market & Deli/Liberty Elkton Grocery Mamma Mia Restaurant Linville Mac’s Market

Mt. Crawford Joy Foodmart Exxon

Penn Laird 7-Eleven On The Run

Mt. Solon/Augusta Co. Zach’s Country Store North River Country Store

Singer’s Glen Grandle’s Glenview Market

New Market 7-Eleven

Weyers Cave Weyers Cave Super Save

Cover photo: ©MIKE MIRIELLO / MIRIELLOPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Spring 2016 • living 3

Interconnected

I began this job as local editor for what was then called Living back when my children were just 5, 8 and 10. Several years later I became national editor—at one time we had four editions covering parts of Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Now Valley Living is the only edition that remains, and we are exceedingly grateful for local Shenandoah Valley community support from advertisers, sponsors and donors who make it possible for this uplifting and entertaining magazine to continue. A huge shout out to all who stepped up with some very generous gifts in a fund drive just before Christmas. You have made this possible! Where did 25 years go? You hear that question often upon reaching birthdays, anniversaries or retirement celebrations. Along with my editorial duties, I also usually write a local feature each issue about a person, family, organization or event. That’s approximately 100 articles over 25 years (I had help occasionally) on outstanding or memorable individuals from Harrisonburg and the surrounding area, and the difficulties or challenges they’ve fought and lived through. Meeting so many wonderful people, interviewing, photographing and organizing such material into published stories has been the best part of this job. We are also able to publish fascinating stories and articles sharing the experiences of freelance writers from across the U.S. “Freelance” usually means someone writing articles on the side of parenting, or another job, or in retirement for a variety of publications, and accepting whatever fee the magazine pays. We do not pay very much (our writer guidelines and fee range is on our website) but what thrills me is to get an email or note from a writer about what it means to them to be published—sometimes the pay we send is the first money they’ve ever earned from their writing! They are often overjoyed and want copies to share with families and friends. Many of our writers are experienced professionals, too, and we certainly seek to share the very best—writing is very competitive today with hundreds of thousands seeking ink—even in these days of digital everything. Writing is just one creative art. In this issue we announce the beginning of a year long celebration of Valley Living’s 25 years by sponsoring an art contest for children with the winning creations to be published in the summer issue of the magazine, and additional creative contests (for other age groups) in future issues. Talk about excitement in getting artwork (or other creative endeavors) published! We’ll be happy to announce each quarter’s theme and medium in each issue of Valley Living. See page 9 for details about the current art contest. Twenty-five years later this mother of three now has three very young grandchildren, and another on the way. Color me happy—and feeling very fortunate because I know not everyone gets this chance—some of those difficult stories of trial and perseverance of your friends and neighbors have been printed in these pages. We as Valley Living staff and board are pleased to have the chance to publish and share this uplifting, entertaining and positive publication. Help us keep it going by telling your friends about this magazine, the art contest, the website, our advertisers, and liking our Facebook page! We also wish you the best in this coming spring season, and Easter blessings.

Melodie Davis, editor melodie@valleyliving.org

4 living • Spring 2016

Valley Living celebrating 25 years!

Volume 25 No. 1

Valley Living inspires hope, encourages faith and builds positive relationships in the home, workplace and community. Media for Living, Publisher Melodie Davis, Editor Ivette Churney, Sales Representative Peter Churney, Sales Representative Mary Jo Veurink, Layout & Design Lindsey Shantz, Production & Finance Manager

Advertising

To reserve space in future editions (540) 433-5351 or info@valleyliving.org

Media for Living Board of Directors Trisha Blosser, President David Rohrer, Vice President Tracey Veney, Secretary Jonas Borntrager Beth Driver Bonnie Hamilton LaDawn Knicely Angela Rempel

Opinions expressed in Valley Living are not necessarily those of Media for Living. Published cooperatively with Media for Living, a non-profit corporation, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22802 (540) 433-5351 • info@valleyliving.org www.valleyliving.org Printed in the USA by Engle Printing, Mount Joy, Pa. © 2016 by Media for Living

Community Connections Letters, local events, news Letters from readers Wider circulation? Valley Living is a very inspirational publication that is well written and I wish it could be circulated to more areas in the Valley … this is a great channel of family values, love and enjoyable reading. Keep up the good work! Thanks and God bless! –Teresa May, Rockingham Reminder of memories It is nearly impossible to choose a favorite. Each one has something I can learn from [and] become more knowledgeable. And then there are articles that remind me of my past—memories come alive. Like the Christmas tree article: every Christmas we would trek into the woods looking for the perfect tree, through the eyes of a child. With my own family, my husband took the children for that special tree; I stayed home baking cookies and making hot chocolate for when the cold, excited family came home. Memories are precious. Please keep Living coming. It is the most wholesome booklet in today’s world of pollution. Thanks and God bless you and your staff. –Joseph Furry, Sr., Bridgewater Former employee at Thomas House I used to work for Lottie Thomas at Thomas House in 1955. Rudolf Evers was there learning how to make pies and cakes. [Lottie] used to sell the fried pies. –Icy Ralston, Mt. Solon Enjoys food and fellowship I am privileged to go to the Thomas House once a month for a senior meeting and meal. The food is always good and on occasion Charlie

“

”

… this is a great channel of family values, love and enjoyable reading. will stop by our [dining] room for a short visit and to see how we are doing. Keep up the good work Charlie. We love you and your food. –Joyce Lough, Mt. Solon More historical stories I liked the story about Charlie Pennybacker. I would like to see more of these stories. –Billy Wright, Harrisonburg

with a name and location, as space allows in this section of the paper. Names and locations may be withheld upon request or at the discretion of the editor. We do read all letters but cannot publish those sent anonymously.

Story time for preschoolers

Looking for free educational and fun story times for your children under the age of 5 (with an adult)? Massanutten Regional Library in downtown Harrisonburg offers the following story times (all times subject to change, check the website listing http://www.mrlib.org/storytimes/ or call 540-434-4475). The next block of story times are planned for March 21 to May 21 at the Valley Living prints notes and letters Central Library located in downtown from readers only when signed Harrisonburg: • Music with Mother Goose (ages 0-5), Mondays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:15 a.m. • Blissful Bedtime Stories (ages 0-5), Mondays at 7 p.m. • Momma Goose Rocks (ages 0-3), Tuesdays, Wednesdays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:15 p.m. • Precious Preschoolers (ages Valley Living readers vote for favorite articles 3-5), Tuesdays and Wednesdays The total number of completed word search at 11 a.m. puzzles sent in came to 250 from the Winter 2015 • Tremendous Toddlers (ages issue of Valley Living. Those readers voted for their 2-3), Thursdays at 11 a.m. favorite articles as follows: “A home for Justin,” – Additional story time op108; “Charlie Pennybacker and his Thomas House,” tions are available in libraries in – 94; “When you can’t be together at Christmas,” – Elkton, Broadway, Bridgewa47; “The Christmas tree: an ancient tradition,” – 43; ter, Grottoes, Shenandoah and “Go tell it on the mountain,” – 41. To check or read Luray. the articles listed here, you can find them and the Word Search puzzle online at valleyliving.org Whole family enjoys Love this little magazine Valley Living. Yes, my whole family enjoys reading it also. Thank you so much. –Joyce Presgraves, Rileyville.

Valley Living letter publishing policy

Word Search Notes

Responses from readers

Spring 2016 • living 5

Websites make coordinating meals for others a click: PHOTOS

Meet Adina Bailey and Scott Rogers, local founders

©MIKE MIRIELLO / MIRIELLOPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

by LAUREE STROUD PURCELL If you’ve ever used or been asked to use the very popular “Take Them A Meal Website” to help supply meals or a covered dish for a friend or family member in a crisis, did you know the popular website was born and continues to be managed right here in Harrisonburg/Rockingham County? In December 2007, Harrisonburg resident Adina Bailey’s friend Rachel collapsed from the sudden onset of a heart condition and was taken to University of Virginia (UVA) Medical Center. Everyone started calling Adina wanting to bring a meal to Rachel’s family the next day and wanting directions to Rachel’s dairy farm in Mount Crawford, Va. While Adina wanted to coordinate help, she had young children of her own and soon became overwhelmed with the number of calls to return. Adina knew Scott Rogers, who attended Harrisonburg’s Covenant Presbyterian Church with Adina and Rachel at that time, enjoyed creating tools with technology. So she asked Scott if he could create a website to help schedule everyone who wanted to bring a meal to Rachel’s family. Scott quickly designed the TakeThemAMeal.com website to eliminate the need for making and receiving time-consuming phone calls. Word of TakeThemAMeal.com spread with each new use. Their friends started using the site when babies were born, when loved ones were receiving medical treatments and in other situations. Church secretaries were especially relieved to discover this tool. In the early days, Scott and Adina found one of their favorite parts of working with the website was getting double phone messages. The first would be “Can you help me sign up?” Then later, “Never mind, I figured it out.” It’s easy, fast and users don’t need to create an account to use it. The templates are straightforward like a sign-up sheet so people aren’t intimidated. People want to help in a crisis, but often don’t know how. TakeThemAMeal.com ensures everyone who wants to do something has a chance to help. If people don’t use the Inter6 living • Spring 2016

net, they often have children or grandchildren who can help use the site or church secretaries assist others in using the tool. In creating the site, Adina and Scott weren’t trying to start a business. People’s use of it led to the creation of the company as the website evolved to meet the needs of users. Many are trying to help the families of someone who recently died or of someone going through chemotherapy. So customer service involves much empathy and sensitivity to people dealing with a crisis. Scott and Adina appreciate the help of their director of customer support, Melissa Jenkins, and customer service spe-

“We’re often struck by how generous people are. There isn’t a big need to tell people about the site.” –Scott Rogers cialist, Lindsey Shantz. “Melissa and Lindsey are patient and helpful when our customers need them,” says Adina. Lindsey, incidentally, also works part time as business manager for Valley Living. TakeThemAMeal.com can be helpful for keeping the care going over the long haul, like fighting cancer. People sometimes have a knee-jerk reaction to cancer news and want to do something right away. But with the on-again, off-again schedule of chemotherapy treatments, families will have tough weeks and relatively smooth weeks. The site has the communication tools to allow emails to be sent each time someone is about to undergo treatment and need more meals for a family. As they received feedback and questions from users of Ta-

keThemAMeal.com, Scott and Adina created a sister website, PerfectPotluck.com. This site is popular for holidays and family reunions, when many people will be contributing to a shared meal. They created a Potluck Calculator to determine how many people need to bring a certain type of dish to ensure meals are well-balanced. Five years ago, TakeThemAMeal.com established a web store through a partnership with Harrisonburg restaurant A Bowl of Good. It was a natural fit to offer people living far from their loved ones a chance to still provide a meal and show they care. A grandparent who is living out of state when a grandchild is born can still have a meal delivered. It’s easier than carryout or a gift card because the meal shows up on one’s front porch. Receiving a covered dish or entire meal while going through difficult circumstances is The vast majority of users are taking tangible evidence of the good will, prayers and care of friends and family. meals they prepare themselves, but those who place orders through the web store they returned to the firehouse from an exhausting day of work. provide a small profit margin, which allows Scott and Adina “We’re often struck by how generous people are. There isn’t to cover the costs of technology, infrastructure and their small a big need to tell people about the site. The website started part-time staff. The websites have no advertising. During its because of the generosity of this community,” said Scott. first few years of use, some donations were accepted to help In Mount Solon, a student at Blue Ridge Christian School keep the site alive, but that is no longer necessary. sustained a sudden serious head injury. He spent months beIn addition to the templates for signing up to provide food, ing treated at UVA. A parent from the school set up a page at the two websites offer recipes and helpful, inspiring blog TakeThemAMeal.com to help the injured child’s parents, sibposts. Maureen Witmer, director of outreach and engagement, lings and grandmother deal with the crisis. Overnight, memwrites a blog, develops recipes and photographs food. She puts bers of the community committed to bringing a meal to the considerable time and energy into selecting the suggested recichild’s home every weekday for six months. pes. Website users want options they know, from experience, Kate Kelty considers the site to be a tremendous gift in her will transport well and taste good. Maureen eats a gluten-free life and in the lives of others. TakeThemAMeal.com was used diet, so she is sensitive to people’s dietary restrictions and to organize many months of meals for her after she lost a baby preferences and offers many options. and then also after the birth of each of her four sons. “Because Seeing people’s generosity to help take care of others is of what a blessing this site has been to me, I have looked for rewarding and inspiring. Scott and Adina feel fortunate to be opportunities to be able to bless others by organizing and witnessing, on a large scale, many small but meaningful ways scheduling meals. The meal ministry is one that has blessed people are helping and responding to crises in their communities. For example, during a large wildfire in Colorado, volunteers used the site to provide a large meal for firefighters when Continued on page 8

Spring 2016 • living 7

Continued from page 7 my life and allowed me to be a blessing to others,” said Kate. After the Sandy Hook tragedy, the community there used the site to provide meals for victims’ families. For the oneyear anniversary of the shootings, TakeThemAMeal collected contributions from users all over the country so every teacher and every affected family that wanted one got a free meal. In September 2013, the TakeThemAMeal team gave out 130 full meals for families of four to six people from A Bowl of Good plus cards printed with encouraging messages from the over 80 people who donated to this effort. Scott delivered 90 of the meals to the school himself and was able to meet some of the teachers and staff. “Their gratitude has deepened our conviction that continuing care is just as important as an immediate sod • mowing • ﬂower beds leaf removal • retaining walls trimming trees • mulching line stripping • pressure washing stonework • hydroseeding snow removal • planting trees ﬂagstones & pavers parking lot sealing • deck staining (540) 564-0185 Fax (540) 564-2505

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response,” said Adina. Each year, the TakeThemAMeal team plans to send something to the teachers at Sandy Hook to let them know they are remembered. Three years ago, Scott got a request from the Ronald McDonald houses in Tampa and Orlando to customize the site to schedule volunteers to provide two to three meals a day, 365 days a year. He tailored the site, with a few small changes, to fit their large-scale, continual need. Other Ronald McDonald houses started using it, too, and it spread from there. Scott offers this customization to interested Ronald McDonald houses as a free service. They link from the house page to the meal schedule. “We didn’t create the concept of people taking meals,” says Scott, “so we’re excited to create a tool that allows more people to easily participate.” Scott is also a Realtor for Funkhouser Real Estate Group in Harrisonburg, and Adina homeschools two of her three children. They, like the rest of their staff, work on the websites on a very part-time basis. Scott and Adina have master’s degrees from JMU in counseling and psychology, so they appreciate the emotional piece that goes with every meal schedule created and understand the need for sensitivity. Over a million meals are coordinated through the site every year. “It’s amazing how people are caring for each other in significant, meaningful, tangible ways. We’re just putting a tool in people’s hands,” says Scott. Each month, 800,000 unique individuals visit the two websites, and provide 120,000 meals to help others. Many additional meals are ordered from the web store each month. The main users are in the U.S., U.K., Canada and Australia. But the site is being visited from almost every country on earth. Adina and Scott are happy to be seeing the positive impact their websites are having on so many lives. LAUREE STROUD PURCELL serves as an editorial consultant for Living. She and her husband Steve have two daughters.

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8 living • Spring 2016

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Winter Market Hours: Saturdays 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. through March

Celebrating 60 Years!

Summer Market Hours: Saturdays & Tuesdays 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. beginning in April

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EBT & credit/debit cards welcome!

540-298-1271 • 800-522-1271

Announcing:

Art Contest For Kids

Celebrating 25 years publishing Valley Living! Theme: “What I Like About Living in The Shenandoah Valley”

Who: Children ages 4-12 who love to draw, color, paint, make collages and more! Contest to be judged in three different age categories (4-6, 7-9 and10-12), and winners announced with the winner’s artwork published in the Summer issue of Valley Living.

Prizes!

One overall Grand prize Winner: An engaging Kids Activity Set donated by TakeThemAMeal. com, an online meal scheduling tool and service. First prize for each category: A supply of decorative paper, artfoam, thick cardboard and special markers—all sure to help keep a budding artist busy for days. Second prize for each category: Box of age appropriate markers.

Rules: 1. Entry should be created on either 8 ½ x 11 or 9 x 12 paper and submitted by March 18. 2. Winners will be announced on valleyliving. org by March 28, and on the Valley Living Facebook page. Like the page so you’ll see announcement! Decisions of judges are final. 3. All submissions will be available for pick-up after April 1 at Red Front Supermarket. 4. All entries not picked up by Apr. 11 will be discarded. How to enter: By mail: Send artwork and entry form (below) to Art Contest, Valley Living, 1251 Virginia Avenue, Harrisonburg, VA 22802. Entry must be postmarked by March 18. By email: Artwork can be photographed/ scanned, saved as a high resolution (300 dpi) JPEG, and emailed as an attachment to info@valleyliving.org. Entry form should be included. Entry must be received by midnight March 18. In person: Artwork and entry form (below) can be dropped off at Red Front Supermarket in Harrisonburg by March 18.

Entry form Child’s name_______________________________________ Parent’s name_______________________________________ Address_______________________________________________________________________________________________ Phone number_______________________________ Parent’s email______________________________________________ Child’s Age ________ Title of art__________________________________________________________________________ Signature of Parent: _____________________________________________________________________________________ By submitting this form, I give my permission for this artwork to be published in Valley Living’s Summer 2016 issue and online.

For electronic submissions go to valleyliving.org and click on “25th Anniversary Contest” for contest rules and an entry form. Spring 2016 • living 9

Youth sports: Guidance for families

by MELODIE DAVIS

PHOTOS PROVIDED

ave King, director of athletics at Eastern Mennonite University, has become very concerned about what has happened in organized sports for kids in the last 15-20 years. Dave has been involved in sports at various levels all of his life, and so has his wife Deb and all three of their children. So it’s not that’s he anti-athletic—far be it. He lauds the positive experiences that can come with children enjoying soccer, basketball, gymnastics, baseball and football from early ages through college and as lifelong enjoyment. He and a co-writer, Margot Starbuck of Durham, N.C., have written “Overplayed: A Parent’s Guide to Sanity in the World of Youth Sports” published March 8 by Herald Press. Margot and Dave explore questions many parents have about how much sports is too much? Are youth travel teams worth the investment when it comes to entering frequent tournaments in distant cities? What if your child wants to quit? Does playing competitive team sports year round hurt your child’s body and development in any way? Margot and her husband have three children ages 15-17 and is still “smack-dab in the middle of carting kids around to practices and games,” as she (Top) Dave King is athletics director at Eastern Mennonite University. (Bottom) Margot Starbuck, coauthor with Dave King of Overplayed is from North Carolina.

10 living • Spring 2016

says in the book. An athlete herself, for five years, Margot coached Special Olympics basketball in California. After seminary at Princeton, she worked as a chaplain among folks living with intellectual and physical disabilities. She has authored numerous books published by InterVarsity Press and Baker Books, as well as writing in various family or Christian publications. The authors write, “Ultimately, we both love sports. We love our kids and other people’s kids. We love God. We’ve got a lot of questions about the direction and demands of the youth sports movement today. … So we want you to know: you’re not alone.” This article focuses on Dave since he is known in the Shenandoah Valley, where he talks frequently in churches about sports, faith and families. He grew up playing many sports—mostly either church league or at home, but cautions about today’s scenario where some have organized teams for children as young as 5. “I was seeing how many families were caught up in traveling all over the country and paying large sums of money, missing their church and family activities for the sake of sports, and I wasn’t quite sure why they were doing it.”

Does playing competitive team sports year round hurt your child’s body and development in any way? As Dave researched organized sports for children, he learned that 70 percent of the children who start playing a sport when they’re 9 quit by the time they’re 13. The most common reason kids gave for quitting was because it was no longer fun, with standings and all-star teams, and other aspects creating pressure to win. “To a large extent the youth sports movement in our travel and club systems is a pyramid system,” notes Dave. “You start off with everyone playing but then quickly you select for this travel team and then it’s the premier team and then it’s the all-star team or something else. The system quickly shifts to who’s the best and can we go beat somebody in the next town. That shouldn’t be the purpose for 7-year-olds, in my mind.” Dave encourages families to look for the alternative programs—where perhaps no scoreboard is used and children rotate to every playing position. “Find out what is happening in your local system,” Dave says. He discourages children playing one sport year round. “At certain ages, that is really

detrimental to their health and physical development. I think that you actually become a better athlete if you play multiple sports.” Dave points out that most college athletes played multiple sports during middle and high school. This athletic director encourages parents to consider their kids’ goals of involvement in sports. “Is success defined by being the high school star on their high school team? Or, are we concerned about their future success as a parent, as a community member and as a church member, when they’re 40?” he asks. “Ultimately, they’re going to be a person a lot longer than they are an athlete, so maybe we ought to worry about who they are as a person—and you can develop that through sports.” He encourages families to set parameters early. “When you get the travel baseball schedule, look at it in comparison to the rest of the family schedule and go back to the coach and say, ‘I appreciate the fact that you’ve invited my son or daughter to play. We’ve looked at the schedule. Here are three times when we are not going be able to be there because we have church or family obligations,’ and then let them make the decision as to whether they want you to participate. If you don’t do it ahead of time, you’re going to get sucked in. I’ve heard that term so often from parents: ‘I’m sucked in and now I don’t know how to get out.’” Dave suggests organizing with other parents. Ten families who became concerned about an increased travel schedule organized their own team and went to just three tournaments and still had a good season. Dave feels attending games together is not necessarily family time. “It’s three or four people watching one participate,” he points out. He also questions what message you send your children if you skip church and Sunday school and family events for sporting events. “You’re giving the message that those events are not that important,” Dave explains. That changes as children get older. “When my children were involved in high school and college they were fully committed to the team, and if that interrupted church activities, we understood that. Where I have more concern is the things that are out of season and non-related to the high school and the college setting,” Dave reasons. In the book, Margot and Dave directly address a number

“Overplayed: A Parent’s Guide to Sanity in the World of Youth Sports” can be purchased from 800-245-7894; if you live in the Harrisonburg area, you can order it by phone and pick it up at Herald Press to save postage costs. Or ask for it in a local bookstore, or find online at: http://store.mennomedia.org/Overplayed-P4635.aspx

of myths about youth sports with tips about how parents can respond. Dave does feel there seems to be a bit of a pendulum swing. More parents are asking questions about youth sports involvement, and interested in alternate programs for younger children. “Whenever I travel around to speak, they say, ‘Thank you for opening it up and discussing it and taking away the guilt that I feel about not involving my child, or that I can put limitations on it.’” He notes there is a “political” game in some communities where if you don’t participate or are not selected for the club programs, you’re probably not going to be on the high school team. If that’s the roadblock families are up against, Dave admits that’s difficult and “the only answer I give is for parents to look at the bigger picture of where do you want your son or daughter to be when they’re 25 or 35—not so much where they are in the high school.” Why does Dave speak out? “When I see the number of student athletes who quit playing when they get to college because they are burnt out, who have beat up their body for so many years, and they tell me they would have quit earlier but they knew their parents couldn’t deal with it, then I begin to say something is out of whack.” At least one major league baseball player, Erik Kratz, a catcher for the San Diego Padres agrees with the message Margot and Dave give in “Overplayed.” “I have been every one of the possible roles discussed in this book: professional, amateur, kid who got cut from the team, and parent of children currently in youth sports. “Overplayed” will help parents currently involved in youth sports and parents soon to begin the journey.” MELODIE DAVIS is editor of Valley Living, and previously interviewed Dave King for the radio program, Shaping Families. One interview can be heard and read at http://tinyurl.com/DaveKingSportsInterview.

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Money Matters

Guidance on family finances

The good fight I

could hear them arguing as soon as I rolled my grocery cart into the cereal aisle. They were a middle-aged couple on a shopping trip together, and from the colorful language they were using, it was clear to anyone within earshot the trip was not going well. When I caught sight of them, he was scowling and wrenching a box of toaster pastries out of her hand. As he slammed the package back onto the shelf, he cursed and told her she didn’t need the name-brand. She dropped her arms to her sides and took a step back from him and the cart. Tipping her head to the side and lifting her chin, she looked him in the eye, returned the curse and asked him who he thought he was. They grew quieter as I approached, but I heard him hiss an answer. “I’m the one who pays the bills.” Like the other shoppers around me, I was embarrassed for the couple and wanted to get away from the scene. It wasn’t easy—I met up with them several more times across the store. The ongoing disagreements seemed to center around money and spending, but they weren’t rational discussions—they were small but bitter fights laced with sarcasm, disrespect, blaming and name-calling. As they bickered, huffed and rolled their eyes, their anger hung around them like a mist. I found myself wondering what had ever brought these two together as a couple. Then I wondered why they were still together when they clearly despised each other so. An old saying came to mind: “marriage is about love; divorce is about money.” It would’ve been easy to adopt a holier-thanthou attitude as I watched the couple’s antics. Instead, I felt sad and prayed a silent prayer for them and their relationship as I strolled along. They were acting out in public what so many couples experience in private—destructive conflict around finances—fights that are tearing apart their marriages like nothing else. In a 2012 study in Family Relations Journal, Kansas State researcher Sonya Britt showed that more than any other marital issue, money conflict is the top predictor of divorce. These fights are more damaging than disagreements about children, sex, in-laws or anything else. I don’t have a scientific explanation for the extra toxicity of conflicts over finances, but from Learning to understand underlying issues can help couples keep calmer in financial discussions.

12 living • Spring 2016

by KEN GONYER

my observations of the couple in the store, it doesn’t seem to just be about money. They weren’t simply disagreeing. No, they were attacking and defending out of deep-seated, mutual contempt. As a couple married almost 25 years, we too have had our share of disagreements about money. Looking closely at those disputes, I can see a good number of our arguments about money management might have been fueled by deeper issues such as mistrust, insecurity or struggles for control.

As they bickered, huffed and rolled their eyes, their anger hung around them like a mist. When I was handling the bills and got charged some late fees, it wasn’t the fee that bothered Karen as much as my lack of organization. It was stressful for her to not be sure we were on top of our obligations. Her reminders or gentle criticisms shook my self-confidence and triggered self-defense, which of course led to a cycle of harsh words and hurt feelings.

©ADOBE STOCK

When we later decided it would be better for Karen to balance the checkbook and pay the bills, her stress was relieved. Unfortunately, I got uptight about being unhooked from our day-to-day financial picture. I didn’t feel like I knew where our money was going or that I had enough say in our financial decisions. My scornful questions about the way she handled our money felt like an attack or an interrogation to her, and conflict often ensued. We’ve done better at conflict as the years have passed. With God’s help and the example of many mature couples, we’ve realized our marriage is a great place to learn how to listen to, communicate with and learn from someone we care deeply about. Conflict isn’t bad in itself—it’s just the collision of our different preferences, beliefs and backgrounds. Pushing through conflict is worth the energy because it’s an opportunity to get past those differences, accept and respect each other, and build intimacy. We’re learning what motivates the other person as well as what they’re afraid of. We’re understanding each other’s dreams, valuing each other’s happiness and allowing one another to simply be who we are without apology. Meanwhile there are still misunderstandings and disagreements about money and lots of other things. After a couple dozen years together, however, we are finding ways to express ourselves without demeaning or disrespecting the other. Our goal has been to understand what the other person thinks and feels without casting judgment. It isn’t always easy. Our conflicts are rarely loud, but sometimes intense. In the end, it always seems to work out. We give. We take. We compromise. We kiss and make up. You might say we know how to have a “good” fight. Columnists KEN and KAREN GONYER live in Broadway, Virginia. Ken is Director of Member Care at Park View Federal Credit Union (www.pvfcu.org) in Harrisonburg, and Karen is a real estate agent with KlineMay Realty (www.karengonyer.com) in Harrisonburg. Email questions to ken.gonyer@pvfcu.org.

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Spring 2016 • living 13

©ADOBE STOCK

A Mother’s Day story about two sons by ROY A. BORGES

other’s Day was only a few days away, but Michael neither knew it nor cared. He was a correctional officer who worked on the evening shift, and who thought only of himself. However, on this particular night his thoughts were on Fly, a dingy-looking inmate, a thief who was in confinement for stealing food out of the kitchen. He had several paying customers who bought everything he stole. It’s how he supported his habit. The nicotine stains on his fingertips exposed his addiction. His toothless smile scintillated through the window of his cell door as the officer passed him a card sent from the commissary. Michael wondered who Fly would be sending a card to. Surely he had no friends. Who would want to write to this obnoxious reject? He was probably trading it for tobacco. I’m going to bust him, Michael thought to himself as he watched Fly’s cell. Fly sat on his bunk, looking at the card he’d received from the commissary. It’s pretty; she’ll like it, he thought. His mother had sent him a book of stamps earlier in the week. An inmate upstairs sold pin-sized cigarettes rolled in Bible paper for

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14 living • Spring 2016

Anytime is a good time to reestablish connections with a loved one.

stamps. Fly traded all of the stamps for tobacco except for the one he was using on this card. The temptation to sell the extra stamp with the card for tobacco was strong, but his love for his mother was stronger. She did send him a book of stamps, so the least he could do was use one to send her a Mother’s Day card. After all, Mother’s Day comes around only once a year. Michael diligently watched Fly’s cell from the officer’s station. He just knew Fly would be sending a line down to another cell to trade the card for tobacco. He was determined to bust him. But Fly didn’t make a move, and Michael was puzzled. It didn’t make sense. What was Fly going to do with the card? Michael couldn’t let the thought go; his curiosity was piqued. He strolled down to Fly’s floor and gathered up all the mail. As he sorted it out, he kept an eye out for Fly’s name … and the card. When he found it, he saw the envelope was addressed to a Mrs. Kelly Roberts, on a certain street in a Florida town. Michael, the diligent correctional officer, couldn’t resist the temptation to inspect the inside of the unsealed card. Inside, the card read: Dear Mom, You are my inspiration, the only one who has faith in me and has always stood by me in the bad days and the dark hours. To my only sweetheart—my mother! Your loving son, Fly

Michael stared at the card as he read it over and over. His eyes clouded with astonishment, as the words touched a place deep down inside he forgot existed. Michael learned a valuable lesson that night from Fly, a failure in the eyes of most people. It reminded him not even failures could take away a mother’s love, or a son’s love for his mother. On the way home that night, Michael stopped at Wal-Mart and bought a Mother’s Day card. He addressed the envelope, also to Mrs. Kelly Roberts, at the same address in the same Florida town.

And he wrote: Dear Mom, Lots of love to the best mom in the world on Mother’s Day. I saw Fly today, and he is doing fine. Your loving son, Michael ROY A. BORGES is a freelance writer from Florida. His mother, still living, helps Roy with his freelance writing connections to publications such as Valley Living.

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“Thank You!” Delores Barnett Arlan & Karen Blosser Jeremy & Trisha Blosser Glendon Blosser Jonas & Barbie Borntrager Norma Bowman Vada Brooks Myron & Regina Brubaker Ruth Burkholder Steven Carpenter Lucretia Carter Mary Chandler Peter & Ivette Churney Clark & Bradshaw Stuart & Melodie Davis Jackie Deane Jim DeLucas Doctor & Mrs. Byard S. Deputy Jeanie W. Diehl Laura Douglas Ethel Ernst

Eva Glanzer Linda Gooden Martha Gooden Jim & Bonnie Hamilton Dorothy Hartman John & Mary Ann Heatwole John F. Henderson Frances Hite Leroy & Vivian Hitt Edna Hosaflook Jessica Hostetler Richard Hottinger Harold Huffman Don Hunsberger Janice M. Jones Elwood & Dorothy Keener Karen Kimble LaDawn Knicely Herman & Charlotte Landes Eldon & Bettie Layman Matt & Beth Lohr

to the following contributors for helping fulfill the vision of Valley Living to build positive relationships in the family and community. Joyce Lough JoAnn Martin Bernard & Joan Martin Virginia M. Martin Randy & Teresa May J. Nelson & Shirley B. Miller Mildred Miller Sarah Grace Miller Frank Mundy John & Linda Neff Annie S. Olaker Lauree Purcell Steven C. “Dusty” Rhodes Frances Ritchie M. Hope Ritchie David Rohrer Robert & Elizabeth Selkirk Rawley & Esther Shank Tim & Lindsey Shantz Joseph W. & Mary Lou Shifflett Marvin T. Slabaugh

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Spring 2016 • living 15

What houseplants do for you by RUTH O’NEIL

©ADOBE STOCK

id you and your kids spend any time being sick this winter? Were you tired of constantly wiping runny noses and then running out of tissues? When you start your spring cleaning this year consider buying a few houseplants. Not only are houseplants a beautiful addition to a home, they have another purpose there. Plants clean the air and provide oxygen so we can breathe. The air quality of our homes partially determines how often and to what extent A green thumb isn’t necessary we get sick. Plants take in for most houseplants, and many many of the bad gases in our need only little attention for the homes and return healthy, amount of work they do in return for you. breathable air for us to consume. People need houseplants more than ever now that our windows are almost always closed to keep in either heat or air conditioning. Closed windows make the air inside our homes stuffy and stale. Sometimes the quality of the air in our homes is worse than the air quality outside. Our homes are supposed to be a safe zone. Put some plants in each room of your home if possible. People often talk about detoxing their bodies and there are many ways to do that. But why not start with the air we breathe? Detox the air around you and you will soon start to feel a difference in your body. You may not even realize how many toxins are in your home and where they come from. Benzene, formaldehyde, carbon monoxide and xylene are commonly found in furniture and household cleaning products. Fortunately, there are many plants that soak up these bad chemicals and give off good clean air for us to breathe. Since healthier air affects the entire family, make choosing and caring for plants a family affair. Take the kids shopping with you and allow them to pick out plants they might like to have in their rooms. Teach them how to care for the plants and help them understand the concepts of over or under watering and the plant’s need for sunlight.

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16 living • Spring 2016

And don’t worry; a green thumb isn’t necessary. Many plants need very little attention for the amount of work they do for you. Some plants just need the proper amount of sunlight and water. If you wonder what some good house plants are for a beginner, here are a few to start with: Snake Plants—Snake plants absorb things we don’t want to breathe in, such as nitrogen and formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is in more of the products you use on a daily basis than you think. The bedroom is a good location for this plant as it produces oxygen during the night instead of during the day. More oxygen means better sleep. Bamboo Palms—The bamboo palms clean the air and act as a natural humidifier, making it a good choice for those who have trouble breathing at night. Bamboo palms do well indoors where there isn’t a lot of sunlight. Shaded areas work just fine for them.

Plants take in many of the bad gases in our homes and return healthy, breathable air for us to consume. Spider Plant—Spider plants are easy to grow. They are great for removing carbon monoxide and other toxins from the air. NASA actually recommends a spider plant as one of the best for removing formaldehyde toxins from the air. Peace Lily—The peace lily is definitely a plant you will want to include on your “to purchase” list. They are the perfect plant to put in rooms where moisture builds up, such as the bathroom or a laundry room. Peace lilies remove mold spores which can cause a lot of problems for people with asthma or allergies. Besides removing mold spores they also remove formaldehyde and trichloroethylene from the air. This easy to grow plant needs shade or indirect sunlight and water once a week. Areca Palms—These palms are one of the best air purifying plants for general air cleanliness. Gerbera Daisy—The gerbera daisy produces beautiful flowers for your home while removing benzene from the air. It absorbs carbon dioxide and gives off more oxygen during the night making it another perfect choice for the bedroom. Aloe—Here is one more plant that helps rid the air of toxins in our homes. Aloe is easy to grow as long as you keep it out of direct sunlight and water it once in a while. Want a few more ideas for healing houseplants? Rhododendron, philodendron, chrysanthemum and azalea are all good choices when it comes to clean air in your home. Investing in a few plants can increase the air quality of your home while decreasing the amount of money and time you spend at the doctor’s office. RUTH O’NEIL is a plant-loving freelance writer from Virginia.

Family Forum

Strengthening family relationships

by HARVEY YODER n her book “Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament,” psychologist Kay Redfield Jamison examines the relationship between bipolar 1 disorder and creativity. She and many others believe people with this condition have contributed greatly to the richness of our lives and our culture, people like Beethoven, Van Gogh and Mark Twain, for example. Surely some Bible characters likely had more than a touch of these symptoms as well, people like Jeremiah, Samson and some of the psalmists, for example. In Psalm 13 the writer goes from the God-forsaken despair of “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” to affirmations like “my heart rejoices... I am full of song... God is so good to me,” all in just six short verses. Unlike simple clinical depression, a bipolar individual is less likely to have their moods determined by losses or other external circumstances as by internal “brain storms” that are less easily treated with psychotherapy alone. The symptoms tend to have a genetically-driven life of their own, striking without warning and often persisting in spite of every effort to manage or modify their effects. Formerly called manic-depressive disorder, this brain disease typically causes its victims to become very hyperactive, as in engaging in marathon binges of house cleaning, excessive shopping and/or other kinds of over-the-top and irrational behaviors, followed by a kind of emotional letdown that can be gut-wrenchingly painful. Mood fluctuations are common to all of us, but in the case of bipolar 1 they are extreme and can be debilitating (bipolar 2 is similar but with somewhat less severe symptoms). There may be a silver lining to the dark cloud of this disorder, however. The musical artist Leo Kottke once commented,

©ADOBE STOCK

Riding the bipolar roller coaster

 

  

Having just a few good friends or family members who understand is a major asset when dealing with an illness like bipolar.

“When you’re manic, you create. When you’re depressed, you edit.” But the dark and despondent side of this condition calls for our special support and help. As with anyone experiencing a mental illness, being surrounded by a loving community is a major asset. Of course that is true for any of us. Writer Gerald Shenk, formerly of Harrisonburg, states the following, “Above all, I want them (our adult children) to know the reality of a faith family network that vibrates with beauty and abundant goodness; a community whose thick fabric of care will be there for them through the best of times and the worst of times. Real families will always need real communities, both to survive and especially to thrive.” Good words for wherever we are on the mood disorder spectrum. HARVEY YODER is a family counselor and teaches parenting and marriage classes at the Family Life Resource Center. Questions relating to family concerns can be addressed to FLRC, 273 Newman Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801 or to Harvey@flrc.org. His blog can be followed at harvyoder.blogspot.com.

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On Route 721 1/2 mile East of Rt. 42 Spring 2016 • living 17

Four reasons to watch classic television with your family by ALOISE BOZELL VANSANT

©ADOBE STOCK

featured shows every member of the family actually enjoyed. y family’s love affair with classic television started My family is not unique. Here are four reasons why your last year when I discovered “Wonder Woman” was family might enjoy watching classic television shows tostill on the air. gether. When I was a young girl, “Wonder Woman” was my fa• Classics are entertaining. Generally only good television vorite television show. I watched it whenever possible, and shows remain on the air for decades. “Lassie,” “I Love Lucy,” “Wonder Woman” dominated my imaginary games. When I “Star Trek: The Next Genrode my bike I pretended I eration,” “I Dream of Jeanwas flying in her invisible nie,” “Spider-Man and His plane, my jump rope often Amazing Friends,” “The transformed into her magTwilight Zone,” “Seinic lasso, and if twirling feld,” “Leave It to Beaver,” failed to magically change “Little House on the Praimy clothes—it wasn’t rie,” “Family Ties,” “The from a lack of trying. Brady Bunch,” “The AdAfter I rediscovered dams Family,” etc.—with “Wonder Woman,” my so many possibilities a famdaughters and I watched ily is sure to find a show an episode together. I was everyone will enjoy. sure my children wouldn’t • Classic television shows like its 1970s music and allow adults to relive their dated special effects, but youth. Regardless of age, I was wrong. They loved it is fun for adults to feel 8, watching a female superClassic TV shows can jumpstart family discussion about gender roles, race 15 or 21 again. hero save the day, and relations, and other serious topics as your children observe a different era. • Classic television shows “Wonder Woman” quickly can jumpstart family disbecame one of their favorcussions about gender roles, race relations and other serious ite shows. topics. Why do women in 1950s and 1960s television shows Inspired by my success, I searched television listings, Netseldom work outside of the home? Why are there so few peoflix, YouTube, Hulu and Amazon for other shows from my ple of color in classic television shows? Who are Nazis? Old television shows can be educational as well as fun. Suddenly our family TV nights featured • Classic television gives children a glimpse of the past. Children read about the past in books and hear about it from shows every member of the family their teachers and family. However, television shows bring actually enjoyed. the past to life. Hairstyles, clothes, cars, expressions, home furnishings and other aspects of everyday life change over time, and these changes are captured in television shows. “I childhood. I discovered many classic television shows are still Love Lucy” gives audiences a glimpse of life in the 1950s. readily available. In time, “Bewitched” and “Mr. Ed” became “Seinfeld” captures the 1990s. Watching classic shows helps household favorites as well. Suddenly our family TV nights children understand life in previous decades and will give them connecting points with their parents’ and grandparents’ life experiences. LaDawn Knicely, MA, M.Div. As J.J. in “Good Times” would say, classic television is REALTOR®, Broker/Owner “Dy-no-mite!” (540) 421-6941 | HometownRealtyGroup.com LaDawn.Knicely@HometownRealtyGroup.com

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18 living • Spring 2016

ALOISE BOZELL VANSANT is a recovering attorney, writer, mother of two elementary age children and frequent viewer of classic television. She has been previously published on scarymommy.com, greatmomentsinparenting.com and in the American Bar Association’s journal, “Natural Resources & Environment.”

Shenandoah Spotlight Young adults to watch

Shelley Pierce Newman by LAUREE S. PURCELL

t the age of 27, Shelley Pierce Newman has lived in the Harrisonburg area for twenty years and has been a member of Dayton’s Town Council since October 2013. During that time she has worked closely with local merchants and members of the community to create a wide variety of improvements and positive events in the small town of Dayton. Shelley has helped the town create a vision for its future, hanging its new motto: “Discover Historic Dayton: Small Town, Hometown, Downtown,” on banners throughout the downtown area. In her over two years on council, Shelley has been a key player in organizing Dayton’s Redbud Festival, the “12 Days of Dayton” Christmas celebrations, the Dayton Flea, the Dayton Muddler, the summer concert and movie series at the College Street Pavilion and the Fourth of July town celebration at the pavilion. She has helped attract two new businesses to the downtown district, and is working with local merchants and the town to beautify the area with matching grants for facade improvements, at least six new outdoor murals, a sculpture garden, and two greenways for bicyclists and pedestrians. To learn more about these events and projects, visit Dayton’s Facebook and Instagram accounts run by Shelley, or the mobile app she created for Dayton. Taking a leadership role on the Park Committee as well as chairing the Economic Development Committee comes naturally to this young, energetic woman. She has always pushed herself to have positive experiences helping others. Her thinking and growth have also been shaped by her former work at Rosetta Stone and her current career in JMU’s Information Technology department. Married to her high school sweetheart Charlie Newman since 2011, Shelley is expecting their first child in March. She knows her life is about to get even busier, but she contends that “community is everything to me, and how I choose to spend my time reflects my beliefs.” Shelley advises young people to find something they’re passionate about and run with it. “Push yourself to have many

enriching experiences that go beyond academics, and never think you are too young to get involved and make a difference,” says Shelley. She remembers a mission trip she took to Mexico while in high school and the two relief trips she took to West Virginia while studying art in college. After being the captain of the cheerleading and gymnastics teams in high school, Shelley coached Turner Ashby’s JV cheerleading team while attending JMU. She had many fundraising and service experiences through her sorority, Alpha Sigma Alpha, and contends that the Greek system shaped her values and gave her great experiences working with others to achieve central goals. When facing challenges today, Shelley draws on these early experiences that shaped her into a community leader and organizer. Seeing local residents enjoying themselves at local events keeps Shelley motivated to keep planning, organizing and helping events go smoothly. While all her volunteer work is challenging and time consuming, Shelley is often thanked and appreciated by her constituents. When she has an especially frustrating day, Shelley remembers the advice of a trusted colleague to “always have a smile on your face and a song in your heart.” There is so much in life for which to be grateful. LAUREE STROUD PURCELL is an editorial consultant and writer for Living.

Know someone 30 or under to nominate for a future Shenandoah Spotlight? Requirements are: Valley resident or grew up here, outstanding for their job, community, or church work, and the model they provide. Contact us at info@valleyliving.org.

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Spring 2016 • living 19

CHORES: A recipe for cooperation by HEATHER LEE LEAP

y kids used to complain—loudly—if I asked them to help out very much around the house. But, if your kids don’t have regular household chores, you are not doing them any favors, and as a parent you are working too hard. In any job it is important to delegate tasks and that includes running your home. If “Do it because I said so,” is not your style, create a cooperative atmosphere at home to get the jobs done.

Redefine your purpose.

Differentiate between chores and personal responsibilities.

Are there tasks you resent doing? Chances are the jobs that irritate you the most are ones your kids need to take ownership of. In our home, picking up your own toys and books, putting away your clothes and keeping your room tidy are not chores. They are personal responsibilities and children are expected to learn them at a young age. Even toddlers can keep their belongings tidy with assistance and direction. Anything kids can claim possession of falls into this category. If your child asks, “Why do I have to do it?” your only answer needs to be, “Because it is yours.” Chores teach children life skills and responsibility, and also educate them about the sharing of loads in community life.

20 living • Spring 2016

Chores are tasks which benefit all members of the household. They do not belong to any one person, so everyone in the family should eventually learn to do them. Encourage kids to step in to do chores even when it is not their turn. Develop a habit of asking kids for help with a brief explanation. “Your sister has dishes this week, but she is gone ©ADOBE STOCK

Diane Zipper did chores as a child and she expects her children, ages 6 and 10, to do them now. But family precedent is not her only impetus. “I wanted help around the house and was tired of doing everything myself,” she says. Zipper’s comment is one of the keys to chore success. It’s not just about how to motivate your kids. There has to be something in it for everyone. It’s time to rethink why you want your kids to do chores. If you cannot articulate a clear justification for doing them, your plan is doomed from the start. Kids will tune out intellectual arguments like “chores are good for you.” Your resolve will crumble if you tell yourself, “I know I should make them, but…” Consider the environment you want to develop in your home as your children grow. Chores will teach them life skills and responsibility, but they can also teach them about community. When every family member contributes according to their ability and everyone shares the load, your home can run smoothly. Household tasks are an opportunity to share work, support one another and bond as a family.

Chores are tasks which benefit all members of the household. They do not belong to any one person, so everyone in the family should eventually learn to do them. Chores might include taking out the trash and recycling, doing dishes, sweeping, cleaning, meal planning and preparation, pet care and yard work. These are the types of chores kids can rotate through on a daily or weekly basis. Helping a younger sibling with a personal responsibility they are too small to handle, such as changing the sheets on their bed, is considered an extra chore at our house and is rewarded.

until tomorrow, so please empty the dishwasher.” Remind your children that eventually their siblings will be called on to reciprocate. Teach your children how to do chores. Parents frequently forget this step as kids grow older and are expected to take on new jobs. Do not assume your children have seen the chore performed and will know how to do it or that common sense will prevail. Take time to demonstrate how you want a task completed. Remember new skills develop slowly. Share the chore with your children while they are learning. As your children develop more experience, their efficiency will increase. Encourage your kids to ask for guidance if they forget a step. If you decide your children could use a refresher course, but they resist your input, have them walk you through a task or teach a younger sibling. Stay close by to steer them in the right direction if they falter. The act of teaching the chore will reinforce it for the older child. At the same time your kids will naturally practice team work. After several years of doing chores, my kids still grumble, but we tell them matter-of-factly there are five of us in our house, and I simply can’t do everything. Diane Zipper and her husband agree. They remind their kids, “We’re all part of the family and we all help each other out.” Chores are not something to inflict on your children. Instead, they are an opportunity for your family to grow closer by working together. HEATHER LEE LEAP is a freelance writer and contributor to many parenting magazines.

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Spring 2016 • living 21

Cooking Corner

Recipes and tips for cooking at home

Strawberry Salad with Poppyseed Dressing Salad: ¼ cup 1 /3 cup 1 bunch ½ 2 cups

sugar slivered almonds romaine lettuce, torn of a small onion, halved and thinly sliced halved fresh strawberries

Creamy Poppyseed Dressing: ¼ cup mayonnaise 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon sour cream 1 tablespoon milk 2-¼ teaspoons cider vinegar 1-½ teaspoons poppy seeds

1. In a small heavy skillet over medium-low heat, cook and stir the sugar until melted and caramel in color, about 10 minutes. 2. Stir in almonds until coated. 3. Spread on foil to cool; break into small pieces. 4. In a large bowl, combine the romaine, onion and strawberries. 5. Combine the dressing ingredients; drizzle over salad and toss to coat. 6. Sprinkle with coated almonds. This recipe serves 10. Strawberry Salad with Poppyseed Dressing is originally from Taste of Home as shown on TakeThemAMeal.com.

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Spring 2016 • living 23

What do you know about Easter’s origins?

Easter history, traditions and practices by ANNE BATTY

aster has different meanings for different people. For Christians it is the high point of the Christian year, and for others it represents life’s renewal in the arrival of spring. For some it is just a time to celebrate with symbols like bunnies, colored eggs, candy and family dinners. A study of the history of Easter reveals that some of the traditions practiced during this holiday evolved from symbols used in some early pagan religions. Easter celebrates Christ’s resurrection from the dead following his death on Good Friday, but it also coincides with the vernal equinox, a time of pagan celebrations that commemorate the arrival of spring and the rebirth of nature.

But some popular Easter traditions have their roots in ancient AngloSaxon history.

From earliest times eggs were viewed as symbols of new life … and painted bright colors to echo the vibrancy of spring.

24 living • Spring 2016

©ADOBE STOCK

Further, scholars have suggested the traditions of Easter have roots in the Jewish celebration of Passover. The first disciples of Jesus were Jews and the first Christians, and therefore the first Easter celebrations were likely understood as a new form of commemorating the coming of the Messiah, a key component of Passover liturgy. The word Easter comes from the words Oestre/Eostre/Ostara. Oestre was the Saxon goddess of the dawn and spring, and her name derives from the words for dawn, the shining light arising from the east. She was a symbol of fertility, and her presence was believed to be responsible for the flowering of plants and the birth of babies, both animal and human. The rabbit, well-known for its rapid reproduction, was her sacred animal. History reports that prior to 325 AD Easter was celebrated on different days of the week, including Friday, Saturday and Sunday. In that year the Nicene Council (a group of

bishops called together by Constantine) issued the Easter Rule, which states that Easter shall be celebrated on the first Sunday that occurs after the first full moon, or after the vernal equinox, or the first day of spring. Therefore, it was to be a “moveable” holiday celebrated only on a Sunday between the dates of March 22 and April 25, dates tied to the lunar cycle. The Lenten Season The Lenten season begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. Mardi Gras (French for Fat Tuesday) or “Carnival” is practiced around the world on the Tuesday prior to Ash Wednesday. It was designed as a way to use up the fats (lard and shortening) in the house and forego certain foods or practices before the sacrifices of Lent began. The 40 days of Lent are a period of penitence, prayer, fasting and abstinence, as preparation for the most sacred remembrance of the church’s liturgical year. Holy Week The last week of Lent is called Holy Week. It begins with Palm Sunday, named for the palm-strewn, celebratory path Jesus took into Jerusalem prior to his crucifixion. It continues on Holy Thursday, commemorating Jesus’ last supper with his followers, then moves to Good Friday in memory of the crucifixion. Then Holy Saturday recalls the laying of Christ’s body in the tomb, finally culminating with the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday. But some popular Easter traditions have their roots in ancient Anglo-Saxon history. Sacred or secular, they all play their part in the celebration of this traditional holiday.

The Easter bunny is not a modern invention. Hares and rabbits have long been symbols of fertility. One legend states that Oestre, the mystical Saxon goddess of spring, found a wounded bird and turned it into a hare so it could survive the winter. When this very same hare found it could lay eggs, it made a gift of its eggs to the goddess who had protected it, and the “Easter bunny” was born. German tales were also told of an “Easter hare,” who laid eggs for the children to find. These children made nests and set out carrots, hoping the hare would lay its colored eggs for them. Claiming it was the German immigrants who brought this legend to America, historians say it was highly ignored by other Christians until after the Civil War. In fact, historians maintain that Easter itself was not widely celebrated in America until after that time. From the earliest times eggs were viewed as symbols of new life and fertility in most cultures, and they were often wrapped in gold leaf or colored brightly (boiling them with leaves or the petals of certain flowers), and given as gifts. When people first started giving eggs as offerings and gifts, they used birds’ eggs. These were painted bright colors to echo the vibrancy of the colors of spring after the darkness of winter. Germans gave green eggs as gifts on Holy Thursday and decorated trees with hollow eggs, and in Greece eggs were dyed red to symbolize the blood of Christ. But the most elaborate take on the tradition came from Russia where in the 1800s/1900s Russian Aristocracy commissioned the French jeweler Faberge to create an egg like no other. Fashioned from enamel and encrusted with the most dazzling jewels, these in-

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A mother’s plea for her son with serious mental illness:

Signs to watch for in your teen or young adult by KIMBERLY BLAKER

egardless of our kids’ trials and tribulations during childhood and into the early teen years, the furthest thing from any parent’s mind is that our young adult child might develop a serious mental illness. Unfortunately, it is an equal opportunity disease that can strike even model kids who have rarely experienced a difficult day in their lives. Just as kids are preparing to become independent adults is when serious mental illness (SMI) often strikes. The incurable brain diseases of schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder combined strike one in every 25 people typically as they are entering adulthood.

This change, and more, is desperately needed for all the sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers in our country suffering from serious mental illness My son, Caleb, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (the combined illnesses of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder) three years ago, at the age of 19. His adult life has been spent inside a living hell—literally. The early stage was marked primarily by delusions and paranoia: there was a government conspiracy against him, Li’l Wayne and Drake were writing derogatory songs about him and pimps were trying to kill him. But this was only the beginning of a downward spiral. The first year of treatment showed only mild success. Antipsychotics are relatively fast acting, and if monitored, can be quickly adjusted or changed. But with a severe shortage of

psychiatric beds, lack of adequate federal and state funding for mental health services, and laws as sick as those who are ill— problems of every state in this country—he was in and out of the hospital within days, still in psychosis. Further hindering recovery, he was allowed only one 30-minute psychiatric appointment per month. There are two broader problems with treatment for the SMI in America, which are laws and funding. Laws were created decades ago to protect the rights of seriously mentally ill individuals without taking into account that those with SMI are often unaware of their illness due to a symptom called anosognosia, and are therefore unwilling to seek treatment. Moreover funding has dwindled severely. Hospitals have shut down in droves in recent decades while insufficient public funding has impeded development of adequate out-patient services and housing for mentally ill people. It is important to note, it’s a medical fact that with each episode of psychosis, and the longer the psychosis lasts, the more damage is done to the brain. The lack of timely, adequate and appropriate treatment results in each episode becoming increasingly more severe reducing the likelihood of recovery. This has proven true for Caleb. A year into his illness, he received a message from a game of Scrabble to cut off his ear or toe or to break a leg to save the world. In the middle of the night, I awakened to his blood curdling screams. He had jumped 15 feet from a tree, fracturing his back instead. Just prior to this feat, he attempted, unsuccessfully, to silence the commands. He branded his arm with a fork, a scar that remains today. He was admitted for psychiatric care, but released within seven days with little improvement. Over the next two years, he is hospitalized with increasing

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frequency, always released within days. He is paranoid and lives in constant fear with the belief his family and friends want to kill him. He hallucinates that I say such horrific things to him as, “I’m going to chop off your head” or “I’ll bury you alive.” He has spent nights sitting on his bed prepared to bolt if I break down the door to kill him. Six months ago, the television told him he is Jeffrey Dahmer, and the President told him to kill me. My son isn’t violent. But statistics speak for themselves, and psychosis often leads to violent and tragic acts. It was a several day battle to get him hospitalized, and he was released in three days in the same condition.

Many families who have a family member with serious mental illness are caught without very many options for their care, or places to live safely and affordably.

Signs to watch for in your teen or young adult child: It is sometimes difficult to recognize any of these illnesses developing because many symptoms are typical problems associated with the teen years. Though there is no cure for schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder or bipolar disorder, recovery is possible for many with these brain diseases. But early detection is crucial to the prognosis for those with SMI. With schizophrenia the symptoms usually, though not always, develop gradually over months or even a couple years and show up as changes in behavior, thinking and emotions. Changes in behavior can include poor hygiene, talking to oneself or odd speech, difficulty with making or maintaining friendships, substance abuse, unusual facial or body movements, unblinking vacant expressions, difficulty picking up on social cues, threatening behaviors, increasing isolation and inappropriate emotional responses like laughing at something sad. Emotional changes are often seen in angry outbursts, extreme moodiness or irritability and severe anxiety and fearfulness. Changes in thinking might include paranoia, obsessing about the past, visual or auditory hallucinations, delusional thinking (illogical and nonsensical ideas), difficulty with concentration or following a train of thought or trouble distinguishing dreams or television scenes from reality. Bipolar is a mood disorder with swings to opposite extremes. It is believed there may be a correlation between this disease and ADHD. There are a couple forms of bipolar, one in which mania is more severe. The less extreme state is called hypomania. With bipolar the mood swings in teens can change in the course of just a few hours or days. Dur-

ing adulthood the swings can last much longer, for weeks or months. Depressive symptoms to watch for include loss of interest in activities, decline in grades, difficulty concentrating, prolonged sadness or irritability, loss of energy, change in sleep patterns, change in food intake, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, no longer experiencing pleasure, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, worrying and anger. The difference between mania and hypomania is primarily the severity of the symptom where mania is more extreme. Mania or hypomania can be seen in the following symptoms: decreased need for sleep, elated mood to exaggerated optimism, increased energy, increased confidence, extreme focus on projects, increased physical or mental activity, increased creativity or productivity, increased libido to hypersexual thoughts and behavior, difficulty concentrating, inflated sense of self-importance, risk taking and reckless behavior, racing speech and thoughts, grandiose delusions or sometimes hallucinations. Schizoaffective disorder has the combined symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar. The symptoms therefore could be any combination of symptoms for the two distinct diseases. If your son or daughter exhibits signs, be aware that counselors and therapists do not have the educational and medical background to diagnose or treat these specific brain diseases. Seek an evaluation at a walk-in crisis center or from a licensed psychiatrist, or your family doctor who can make a referral.

Spring 2016 • living 27

Continued from page 27 For a couple months, though his psychosis was still present, he had at least improved. But this rarely lasts. With his paranoid feelings that doctors, pharmaceutical companies and his family are trying to poison him, he often refuses medication. Recently, Caleb took another downturn. He could not comprehend real conversations because the hallucinatory voices were so overpowering. He carried on arguments with these voices, told news anchors on TV to shut up because they were talking about him and was angry with the Pope for something the Pope was doing to him. He repeatedly insisted he was traversing a condition where a person thinks they are more than one person. As a result, there were now two of him, or maybe three, and he didn’t know which was the real him. He became confused and didn’t know where he was and pleaded with me to get him home. I would try to reassure him, “You are the real Caleb, and you are safe at home.” It is heartbreaking.

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But my son and I aren’t alone. This plays out for millions of seriously mentally ill people and their families day-after-day, week-after-week and year-after-year as loved ones spiral further into the abyss. Many families are caught like ours without very many options for their care and places to live safely and affordably. Legislation was introduced last year in June called the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act, HR 2646, as well as other legislative proposals in recent months. HR2646 in particular makes several meaningful improvements to our ineffective mental health system. Lack of family access, or difficulty getting information about the diagnosis and prescribed treatments for their mentally ill adult loved ones has hindered families’ ability to protect and care for the sick member. This bill will clarify HIPAA so parents and caregivers of adult loved ones with SMI have access to necessary information. Other needs are also addressed including the shortage of psychiatric beds, greater use of criminal diversion programs, greater emphasis on evidence-based care and alternatives to institutionalization. This change, and more, is desperately needed for all the sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers in our country suffering from serious mental illness—and for the countless family members who in the future will be struck by this dreadful fate. KIMBERLY BLAKER is an author, freelance writer, advocate and the mother of a young adult son with schizoaffective disorder. Email her at kimberlyblaker@gmail.com. More information at mentalhealthcrisisday.com.

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An unexpected long distance connection dazzles the writer more than this sunset.

In search of a sunset, I found serenity, too by BRUCE STAMBAUGH

drove away from Harrisonburg, Va., to get a country view of a Shenandoah sunset. I came away with so much more than picturesque photos. As a frequent visitor from Ohio, I had taken several sunset shots near our daughter’s home. I wanted a different backdrop. I decided to head for a friend’s childhood home. I drove a few miles south and west of this growing city that is rapidly sprawling far beyond it’s historic downtown. My friend, Ava, had moved to Ohio last year. She said she remembered people stopping to take pictures of the views opposite her home. Ava had given me perfect directions to her home place west of Dayton. I found it well before sundown, which gave me time to check out the area, and take a few photos first. Ava was right. The panorama alone was stunning. This high spot on a gently rolling ridge opened up nicely to the west. The sun glowed above the Alleghenies miles away. I sent her a text with a photo of the evening’s western landscape. Ava’s reply caught me by surprise. Despite all the years she had lived there, Ava didn’t have a sunset photo from that perspective. Her family’s religion forbade owning a camera. In her words, Ava said it was a precious vista that hemmed the western range of her formative years. It was the scene she saw as she walked to the school bus, got the mail and drove the buggy to church. The foothills, valleys and blue mountains served as a geographic security blanket for her. Ava profusely thanked me for the photos that brought back so many poignant memories. Capturing and sharing that setting generated a heartwarming story that dearly warmed me far more than the fiery sunset. Tractors whizzed in and out the long lane of the family farm. Wagonload after wagonload of chicken manure got 30 living • Spring 2016

spread on the sloping fields while the sun blazed away behind the distant foothills and aged mountains. My senses became conflicted. What I saw thrilled me. What I smelled I just endured until dark! As I was about to leave, a young man on one of the tractors stopped on his return trip to the barn. A young boy and younger girl flanked the ruddy driver. The farmer wanted to know if I was taking the photos for my own use. I nodded in the affirmative. He seemed startled when I asked him if this was the old Shank place. He confirmed what I already knew.

I had gone in search of a friend’s homestead and a different view of the sunset. I succeeded on both counts. But that’s not what made the evening extraordinary. We chatted some more, and I told him that I knew Ava. Likely cautious of a stranger, he just smiled broadly and nodded in return without saying that Ava was his aunt. She told me that later. Ava was as thrilled that I had met one of her kin as she was with the photos I had sent. I had gone in search of a friend’s homestead and a different view of the sunset. I succeeded on both counts. But that’s not what made the evening extraordinary. Every sunset is different of course. By making these unexpected, long distant connections between an aunt and her nephew, this sundown dazzled me with more than shimmering

scarlet, fuchsia and orange rays. This serendipitous interaction brought me a personal, soothing satisfaction. It was a moving encounter no camera could ever capture. Below the gorgeous sunset, I watched the cars zip along Ottobine Road, likely heading home from another day’s work. I had to wonder if the drivers enjoyed this brief moment of serenity, too. Did they realize the marvelous setting? Or was it just the end of another day at work or school? I gave them the benefit of the doubt and hoped they embraced this blissful, beautiful quietude they call home. BRUCE STAMBAUGH is a retired educator who frequently visits the Shenandoah Valley. He is a freelance writer and writes a column for a weekly newspaper in Millersburg, Ohio, where he lives with his wife, Neva. He blogs and shares photos at brucestambaugh.com. Specialists in Automotive Paint & Reconditioning Supplies

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Embracing your stepmom role: Ten tips to help by GAYLA GRACE

’ll never forget the day my stepson shot back at me, “You’re not my mom, Gayla. My mom would support my choice.” I had disagreed on an important decision he was making and voiced my opinion--because I loved him. But he didn’t see it that way. Piercing words. I wanted to respond in anger, but I chose to remain silent, recognizing the loss that haunted him as a result of his mother’s death. I understood the feelings behind his words. What he was really saying to me was, “I miss my mom. I wish she were here so I could have this conversation with her.” But she wasn’t.

As a stepmom, your words and actions can aid or hinder the growth of your stepfamily relationships. Stepfamilies come together as a result of loss. Some stepchildren have experienced multiple losses through death, divorce and remarriage, with little healing or understanding on how Stepchildren have often experienced to relate to the new multiple losses step-relationships in with scant their family. As a stepopportunity for mom, your words and healing from the huge changes actions can aid or hinthey’ve gone der the growth of your through. stepfamily relationships. Here are a few tips to help combat the evil stepmom stigma and promote healthy relationships in your stepfamily. 1. Commit to the long haul. Decide you won’t give up when it gets hard, because it will get hard. Continuously strive for love and acceptance of one another, but don’t expect harmony overnight. The average stepfamily takes seven years to integrate. Complex stepfamilies--when both parents bring children to the marriage--can take longer. You may take one step forward and two steps backward, but that doesn’t spell failure. Family identity is established through challenges, uniting the family in the long run. 2. Make your marriage relationship a priority. It’s easy 32 living • Spring 2016

to put the marriage on auto-pilot when the parenting demands consume your time and energy. But without the marriage acting as a foundational piece, the challenges of stepparenting can tear a family apart. My friend and co-author of “Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace,” Heather Hetchler, says it best: “The marriage relationship has to come first. It’s not at the expense of the children but rather for their security. Putting the marriage first by backing each other, being respectful and modeling love toward one another positively impacts the children.” 3. Don’t take everything personally. We make our stepmom role harder because of our insecurities. We think we’ll never measure up to the biological mom, competing with and comparing ourselves to her constantly--always coming up short. If we learn to spend more time improving upon who we are already, we’ll be more comfortable in our stepmom role. When we’re secure in ourselves, it won’t bother us when our stepchild questions our choices. Our natural reaction becomes: I won’t take that comment personally or get defensive. I will accept her thoughts as her own, even if they’re different from mine. 4. Consider it a privilege to impact another child’s life. I remember clearly the day a counselor said those words to me when I was crying out for help in the first year of our marriage. I didn’t understand how to consider my stepmother role a positive aspect of my life. I love the words of stepmom and child psychologist Maria ADOBE STOCK Saugstad, “Look at it © as a calling--creating a good home for your stepkids; it will take sacrifices but also be rewarding to create something good.” 5. Work harder at being a friend rather than a parent, particularly in the beginning. Developing a relationship with your stepchild is the primary goal for a new stepparent. Find common ground that allows time together comfortably, doing things you both enjoy. Study your stepchild to understand how to relate to him or her. Let the biological parent take

the lead in disciplining during the relationship-building period. Moving into a parental role too soon will result in anger and resentment. Find ways for you to be the “good guy” as your stepchild gets to know you. 6. Recognize your needs count too. Give yourself grace, space and understanding. Admit when you have failed in your role, but don’t get stuck there. During our early years of marriage, the shortcomings of my stepchildren irritated me. I reacted in favor of my biological children during times of conflict and was frustrated with my lack of patience and fairness toward my stepchildren. As I sought to forgive myself and learn from my failures, I could pick myself up and start again. Take a break from the stepmom. Recharge yourself with a spa day, coffee with a friend or date night with your husband. 7. Create healthy boundaries with the other home. Encourage healthy co-parenting with your spouse and his ex-wife but stay out of the middle of their disputes. Define the needs of your home and communicate expectations to the children that create a cooperative environment for managing chores, homework, schedules, friends, etc. Don’t allow the other home to dictate what happens in your home or seek to interfere with happenings in their home. 8. Live in the present--not the past or the future. Celebrate your successes as a stepfamily. Don’t hold grudges over mistakes of the past or project challenges of the future. Live one day at a time, focusing on the needs of today. Maintain a positive attitude if possible, thinking good thoughts about your stepchildren and expecting healthy interaction. 9. Affirm the value of your stepmother role. Don’t allow others to negate the importance of your role. Yes, it’s a different role than the biological mom, but that doesn’t lessen its value. A stepmom provides an objective view a biological mom cannot. Without the emotional entanglement of a blood bond, a stepmom recognizes unhealthy patterns a biological parent may not. I learned to listen to my husband’s objective opinion during my daughters’ teenage years and found wisdom in his stepparenting advice. 10. Don’t quit until you’ve arrived. The statistics of divorce in remarriage with children are staggering. According to marriage and family therapist Ron Deal, founder of Smart Stepfamilies, 25 percent of remarried couples with children divorce within the first two years and 50 percent divorce within the first three years. The stepmom journey is difficult but if you quit, you’ll never know the impact you could have made

in your stepchild’s life. Commit to the long run. Stepparenting is tough. Mistakes are made. Misunderstandings happen. And variables outside our control influence stepfamily relationships. But there are new tomorrows that bring a fresh start to work through differences. I’ve been a stepmom for 20 years and can now honestly say, “It’s been a privilege to take part in raising my stepchildren.” In the end, the rewards outweigh the burdens. My 21-year-old stepson’s Mother’s Day card brought tears to my eyes. It read, “Thank you for putting up with all my crazy ways and being a great mother to me!” As a stepmom, you’ve been given an opportunity to influence a child’s life like no one else can. Are you up for the challenge? I hope so because there are rewards to your efforts if you don’t quit. GAYLA GRACE treasures her role as mom and stepmom to five children, ages 14-30. She loves to encourage stepfamilies through her website and blog at stepparentingwithgrace.com.

I have planted … but God gave the increase.

1 Cor. 3:6

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Spring 2016 • living 33

Congratulations…

to those who successfully completed the word search from the winter issue of Living. Bergton Woody Brown Terry Dove Victoria Dove Dana Hartman Emma Wittig Bridgewater Opal Alt Hensel Armentrout Carolyn Freeman Virginia Furry Anna Keller Brenda Lilly Christina Moyers Brenda Patterson Carolyn Price Carl Rexrode Janet Stepp Glen Thomas Ed Wade Margaret Ann Wheelbarger June White Phyllis Zimmerman Brightwood Virginia Coppedge Broadway Martha Brady Debbe Coffman Jane Conley Tammy Crider Carolyn Cubbage Juanita Lantz Eldon & Bettie Layman Dorothy Miller Darlene Runion Sammy Runion Robert Ryman Karen Shoemaker Eleanor Showman Kim, Paisley, Rilee & Sierra Showman Evelyn Shultz Cathy Slifer Charlottesville Thelma Widener Churchville Ethel Ernst Criders Carroll Coffman Bernice Keplinger Doug Propst

Doc Ritchie Sheila Ritchie

Genevieve Ritchie Darlene Williamson

Lacey Spring Sarah Miller

Edwina DuBose Lana Hartman

Dayton Debbie Billhimer Reba Brunk Jacqueline Buchanan Alayna Good Christine Hill Scott Koogler Chuck Mathias Brenda Miller Julia Rhodes Sue Ann Ringgold Faye Siever Katherine Trobaugh Esther Wenger

Harrisonburg Eleanor Armentrout Rich & Pat Armstrong April Ausbrooks Dolores Barnett Clair Basinger Norma Bowman Ruth Burkholder Alma Conley Hirut Dadebo Clarence Davis Wilma Davis Ethel Derrow Shirley Didawick Jeanie Diehl Luke Drescher Geraldine Eaton Joyce Foltz Lorraine Good John Hamilton Linda Hamilton Mildred Hensley Don Hunsberger Lowell Kauffman Naomi Kniss Paul Kniss Charlotte Landes Doris Long Virginia Martin Delores Merrick Beverly Miller Sara Grace Miller Susanna McMurray Iona Pennington Frances Ritchie Elizabeth Roach Juanelle Simmons Margaret Sipe Alice Souder Linda Steele Cindy Suter Evelyn Torres Betty Troyer Phyllis Vandevander Herb Warble Billy Wright

Linville Sheila Fitzwater Carolyn Taylor Donnie Taylor Anita Whetzel

Port Republic Makayla Bowden Lou Stover

Blanche Collins Pricilla Pence Patsy Ryman Laura Simmons Kathryn Smith Marie Stroop

Quicksburg Sharon Mathias

Waynesboro Peter Grimm

Rileyville Joyce Presgraves

Weyers Cave Lucretia Carter Patricia Early Charlotte Hopkins

Edinburg Faydene Dove Elkton Elizabeth Bailey Leon Bailey Tanner Breeden Debbie Cooper Linda Cooper Brenda Dean Wayne Dean Julie Dearing Joann Foltz Alison Galvanek Norawood Good Linda Gooden Martha & Cooper Gooden Maxine Hines Vivian Hitt Bernice Hutton Patricia Knight Joyce Lam Vivian Lam Buddy Merica Loretta Miller Lebert & Janet Roach Joyce Sheets Joeseph Shifflett Mary Lou Shifflett Yvonne Tincher Idelma Winegard Fulks Run Anna Dove Hope Ritchie Grottoes Marie Marston Angel Moore

Hinton Marion Thompson Patsy Thompson Keezletown Kennis Armentrout Lewis Omps Virginia Wenger

Luray Katrina Buracker Bonnie Fox McGaheysville Helen Breeden Anita Dove Walter Gerner Courtney Landes Dickie Smith Mitchells Steven Sinnett Mt. Crawford Dimple Moyer Ed Strother Mt. Jackson Ann Andrick Betty Estep Carol Lutz Mt. Sidney Travis Wilberger Mt. Solon Edna Hosaflook Dewitt Hosaflook Joyce Lough Thelma Michael Icy Ralston Elizabeth Selkirk Donnie Shull Patricia Wichael Edna Wine New Market Rachel Derrow E. J. Laughlin Shirley Laughlin Jo Ann Martin Ina Richards Irene Silvious Dorothy White Penn Laird Geri Black

Rockingham Janet Barnes Lois Burkholder Nancy Callahan Anna Mae Cline Greta Cooper Pamela Hensley Glen Layman Bill Liskey Dessil May Randy May Teresa May Warren Riddle Patricia Sponaugle Nancy Stultz William Wright

Woodstock Diana Crider Phenix City, AL Dick Hottinger Baltimore, MD Glenn Spamer Harrisonville, MO Esther Hartzler Tarboro, NC Dorothy Paetzell

Shenandoah Mertie Blakemore Trudy Comer Mary Dorraugh Helen Freeze Catherine Good Janice Jones Carolyn Lamb Mary Frances Nichols Annie Olaker Annie Pierce

Ephrata, PA Ruby Styer

Singers Glen Betty Demastus Elaine Donovan Frank Mundy Linda Mundy

Martinsburg, WV Edith Mills

Stanardsville Lavennie Shifflett Stanley Mary Hunkley

Gaston, SC Judy Carper Antioch, TN Lisa Meyer Baker, WV Janet Dove

Mathias, WV Merlin & Patsy Delawder Rebecca May Upper Tract, WV Karen Kimble

Timberville Jean Ankers Paula Bowman

Yearly subscription to If you would like to receive this quarterly publication in your mailbox, it is available by subscription for $16 a year. To subscribe, return this form with your check or money order made payable to Valley Living, or go online to valleyliving.org. ❏ Payment of $16 is enclosed for 4 issues (or $32 for 8).

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Name: _________________________________________ Phone: _____________________________________________ (include in case we have questions. We will not use for any other purpose.) Address: ________________________________________ City: ___________________ State: _____ Zip: ______________ 34 living • Spring 2016

Notable NASA astronauts

Notable NASA Astronauts By Jeanette Baer Showalter

by JEANETTE BAER SHOWALTER This spring marks the fifty-fifth anniversary of the first human launched into space, Russia’s Yuri Gagarin. Twenty years later the first space shuttle mission was launched, making this the thirty-fifth anniversary of Columbia’s historic flight. Sadly, this year also marks the thirtieth anniversary of the Challenger disaster. From the early Mercury Seven to the current Space Station astronauts, many men and women have explored the “Final Frontier.” You can find twentyeight names of NASA astronauts in the puzzle below orbiting forward, backward, vertically, horizontally, and diagonally.

BUZZ ALDRIN

MARK LEE

DON LIND

Q N

NEIL ARMSTRONG

G D

O U B

Z K

N I

N N

E S

L E

G R

N Y

H D

O U

J J

R D

E U

ALAN BEAN

ERIC BOE CHARLES BOLDEN

JIM LOVELL KEN MATTINGLY JUDY RESNIK

C M

O A

O D

A W S

O A

ROGER CHAFFEE

W S

O G

O H

MICHAEL COLLINS

Y W U

Q N

N M

JOHN GLENN

AL WORDEN

GUS GRISSOM

JOHN YOUNG

FRED HAISE

N M

B W

Mail your completed puzzle and your name will be published in the next issue of Living. _________________________________________________ name/please print

_________________________________________________ address

WALLY SCHIRRA

SCOTT CARPENTER

DICK SCOBEE

EUGENE CERNAN

ALAN SHEPARD DEKE SLAYTON KATHRYN SULLIVAN JACK SWIGERT

GORDO COOPER

ED WHITE

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SALLY RIDE

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zip

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Spring 2016 • living 35

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36 living • Spring 2016