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Page 2 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

From the Editor’s Desk

September is here, and hopefully will herald the coming of a beautiful Fall season by blessing us with an Indian Summer. We can hope, can’t we? During that time of hope, we can continue to harvest the delicious bounty of Summer, including those apples that have been dropping off my trees. Yes, we have many apple trees. There are a particular variety that encourage the Columbia Heights Elk herd to come in the dead of night and beat their heads against the trunks to get the delicious fruits to fall down to the ground. The first time I heard this, I was panicked. There I was, lying in bed almost asleep when I was startled awake by incessent knocking and strange animal sounds wafting in through our open bedroom window. Since our bedroom faces the back of the property, we usually are lulled to sleep by crickets and frogs, NOT loud thunking sounds and huffing and gruffing! Paralyzed for a moment, I lay in bed, thinking to myself - what in the world is trying to break into the house and kill me? Yes, I do think thoughts like that. Creeping quietly over my already sleeping husband, I snuck a peek out the window, and saw huge forms at the apple tree closest to the forest. Elk! As my eyes adjusted, I could see the elk whacking their heads against the tree, and could hear the subsequent thump of the apples falling to the ground. By then, there was less head bonking and more crunching as they partook in my apple bounty. It was thrilling, to say the least! Since that apple tree was incredibly old and hard to harvest anyways, I welcomed the elk to take care of my abundant apples, as long as they stayed away from my garden.

The next morning, I ran out to my garden, hoping that everything was still intact. Thankfully, the elk had bypassed my fenced garden and snacked on apples all night, then left their “deposits” and moseyed elsewhere. I wonder what other havoc these apple devourers create in other people’s gardens. Just last year, we were rewarded with that answer. Part of the herd was seen in the lovely (unfenced) garden of someone living on Columbia Heights Road. Destroying the harvest bounty. Obviously no one was home, so I ran out of the car and shooed them away, sadly shaking my head at the torn remnants of someone’s hard work and labor. Unfortunately, one of the people who had stopped to take a picture of said garden-destroying-elk got rather ticked off at me and had a few choice words that made even me blush. “What does that mean, mommy?” questioned my six year old daughter from the backseat. I explained that the man who yelled at me probably has a heart condition he needs to get checked out by a doctor, and then changed the subject. Needless to say, if someone had caught that herd of elk destroying MY garden, I would have gratefully accepted their help. Of course, I wouldn’t have an unfenced garden in the first place, but I suppose you live and learn, right? Thinking about that experience still causes me to giggle. Speaking of giggles, this September is still full of family fun and festivals to enjoy. Summer may be leaving, but we sure know how to say good bye around these parts! From Scottish Festivals to German Beer celebrations, there are plenty of ways that you can mark up your calendar with fun this September! Don’t spend all day inside preparing

Publication Information Valley Bugler, LLC Longview, WA 360.414.1246 eMail:

(Special thanks to our advertisers and readers!) Editor/Publisher................................Michelle Myre Cover Design / Web Mngr.............omOriginals Marketing! (360)575-9839 Cover Photo & Distribution............Diana Jones Advertising Sales.............................Michelle Myre Columnists.........................................Listed below Paddy Burrow - Fruits & Nuts Georgia Butterfield - Adorable Adoptee Georgia Cox - Castle Rock Seniors Bill Eagle - Eagle’s Eye Humane Society - Adorable Adoptee Oscar Myre IV - Geek Speak Blake Peterson - Movie Reviews PeaceHealth - Living Well Jeff Petersen - The Peacemaking Lawyer Laurrie Piland - Baked Lava Pat Nelson - Window to Woodland **The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from the above columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler does not endorse views expressed, but retains a neutral stance on all issues presented. Please call our offices or eMail the columnist with comments or concerns**

EMAIL: EDITOR@VALLEYBUGLER.COM /valleybuglernewspaper

for Fall, it will be here soon enough! Get outside and enjoy these last delicious days of warmth and sunshine, albeit with that crisp “autumn” feel to it already. Heaven knows, we’ll be encased in our clouds, rain and drizzle before we are ready. Of course, in my mind, I don’t think I am ever really “ready” for that type

of weather!! Until next month, here’s praying we get that Indian Summer and we can all enjoy these last days of summer! Cheers! Michelle Myre Publisher

FREE MOVIES at Three Rivers Mall The excitement is building at Three Rivers Mall. Coming soon in 2014 will be a new 12 screen Regal Cinema. To celebrate this new addition, Three Rivers Mall will offer FREE movies, all day, every day at a “Reel” pop-up movie theatre near the Southwest entrance next door to AT&T.  Sit back and relax in plush new theatre seats and enjoy favorite movies on a bigger than life, hi-contrast 200 inch screen.  Free movies begin over the Labor

Day Weekend and continue through to Regal Cinemas Grand Opening later this Holiday 2014. An up-to-date movie schedule will be posted online at and on Facebook. Currently scheduled: Movies at the Mall 8/29-8/31 Spiderman II, Jurassic Park, The Mummy   Matinee: Despicable Me 9/1-9/7 Galaxy Quest, Star Trek I, Wrath of Kahn, Star Trek II into Darkness  Matinee: Toy Story


Events Calling All Scottish Clan Families:

(And those who just love a good time)

2014 Highlander Festival Sept. 13th & 14th September 13th & 14th

Wicked Tinkers’ on Sunday. Both groups are well known for their foot At beautiful stompin’ musical escapades! Tam O’Shanter Experience a whole weekend of Park on Satur- Scottish & Celtic culture, with the Avday, Septem- enue of Clans, Scottish craft & food ber 13th, 2014, vendors, Scottish music & competithe festivities tions, Scottish Shortbread Compebegin with a tition and on Saturday there will be fun run/walk a Silent Auction to help support the road race, Highland Festival. Dance Competition, On Sunday, September 14th, there Highland Games and will be a Kirkin O’ the Tartan Worship Piping Competition. Service at Tam O’Shanter Park at Heavyweight Events, 8:30 AM and again at 10:30 AM at the Bagpipe Bands, Scot- First Presbyterian Church in Kelso. tish Vendors, Food, Gathering of the The Highland Games will begin Clans, Parade and more! at the park at 9:00 AM with those Starting at hardy lads and 8:00am on lasses tossing Saturday with the caber and the fun run/ throwing the walk 5K road stone. There race, Highwill be enterland Dance tainment in Competition, the afternoon Silent Aucat the park, as tion, Highland well as all the Games & Pipvendors. ing CompetiThe Kelso tion. Rotary will be At 10:00am, holding their join us for the Above: At the Highlander Festival ‘12, Valley Annual Duck Bugler Publisher, Michelle Myre (right), finds Race in the Highlander Scottish blood once she gripped this Festival Parade some afternoon amazing Excalibur sword and it’s owner (left). and scone con- ☺ Photo by Chloe Myre raising money test, which will for charities be held in the covered area at Tam and scholarships. O’Shanter Park. Get your Hilander Festival Buttons, 12:30pm will be the official Wel- on sale for only $1.00 each and you come and Parade of Clans. could win one of the many prizes that Entertainment will be lively and ex- have been donated! citing, with ‘Men of Worth’ performing Don’t pass up a whole weekend of on Saturday and Sunday, and ‘The Scottish and Celtic fun at the park! FREE ADMISSION!!!

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 3

IT’S TIME FOR SANDBLASTER ‘14 By Brooke Fisher United Way SEPTEMBER 20th Over the river, through the woods and into the sand we go to the Sand Blaster 5k Obstacle Fun Run, on Saturday, September 20th at the Port of Kalama. The second annual Sand Blaster 5k Obstacle Fun Run (Costumes encouraged!!) draws the community together in the spirit of fun, fundraising and fundamentals of health where proceeds benefit the 23 United Way of Cowlitz & Wahkiakum County partner agencies. Sand Blaster is a fun time for the whole family with entertainment from Hilo Bay Sound, BBQ food and beer garden by Ashtown Brewing Company, FOE CrossFit Tug-o-War, Longview Parks and Recreation Kids Sporting Activities, Corwin Beverage Refreshments and more! EXTREME 5K FUN RUN Enjoy the challenge and thrill of over 20 fun obstacles including the NW Building & Development Ledge Wall, JH Kelly Quarter Pipe, Tree House Island Adventures Zip Line, KapStone Giant Paper Rolls, Service Master’s Car Wash, DAPC Tire Wall, “Lights Out” Mud Crawl, Darin’s Wild Ride Water Slide and many more! As you cross the finish line, receive a custom finisher medal by sponsor, Bud Clary Subaru and get your photo taken by sponsor, C’s Photograhy! Registration includes a chip timer, runner’s tech t-shirt, beverage of choice, runner’s swag bag of goodies, finisher medal and photo for $60.00 Register online at: 1K WALK & KIDS CORNER For kiddos ages 11 and under, and only $5 per child, this fun run is sure to please, complete with bouncy house. Waves begin at 9:15am and

Photos: (Top) A group of locals discover the hero inside, while a ‘bride’ (Bottom Photo) gets some help with a difficult but fun water obstacle. All Photos courtesy United Way of Cowlitz & Wahkiakum counties

are every hour. Pre-registration is not required. TIRE PULL It’s time to show off those guns. And we don’t mean the kind that shoot bullets. Your muscles will have a chance to grandstand with the free Tire Pull, available from 9am - 2pm. Donations are welcome, and awards will be given out to best male and female times. TUG-OF-WAR Time to register your six person teams for only $25.00 at a chance to strut your stuff and your strength. Who will win? Sign ups are available through pre-registration or on the day of the event. The big TUG starts at 2:30pm. Sign up now at:

A Big thank you to all of our amazing sponsors for making this possible. Complete list online.

Page 4 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

Oktoberfest calls

Travel near, Travel far...

Whether you’re a German by blood, or just love a good brew, Oktoberfest is something you’ve probably experienced a time or two. If not, this year is the perfect time to start, because if you haven’t had Schnitzel, there’s no time like the present! Of course, if you’re not able to fly out to Munich (Munchen) Germany, where over six million people attend every year and drink well over seven million liters of beer.....then the ones in Washington and Oregon will just have to suffice. 1) Mt. Angel Oktoberfest September 11th - 14th Located 40 miles south of Portland, it’s a nice drive to reach this Bavarian themed town that springs up for Oktoberfest, complete with Biergarten, Weingarten, Alpinegarten, Prostgarten, Bandstand, St. Mary’s Church, and ‘Kindergarten’. See info online: 2) Fremont Oktoberfest September 19th - 21st Friday & Saturday is 21+ ONLY, with valid ID. Sunday, all ages are welcome, and ages 21 and under are free with a paying adult. Dogs are cool too, but no snakes. Super fun time and even includes Kids Zucchini Races on Sunday and a Texas Chainsaw Pumpkin Carving Contest. You can’t go wrong with interesting things to do in Fremont, anyways.

3) Renton Oktoberfest September 28th - 30th Renton Pavilion Events Center “Dust off your dirndl and come join the fun at the Renton Pavilion!” Hosted by Manuela Horn from ‘America’s Got Talent’, this Oktoberfest will feature German beers, a Miss Oktoberfest competition and even a David Hasselhoff look-alike contest. More information online at: 4) Oktoberfest Northwest October 3rd - 5th The 10th Annual Oktoberfest Northwest is prepped for arrival at the Washington State Fairgrounds in Puyallup. Serving up beer, brats and authentic entertainment, as well as a 5K RUN/WALK, it is an all-ages event until 7pm each evening, and all day on Sunday. Get ready to Polka Party, participate in the Stein Dash, or play the Hammerschlagen, it’s bound to be “macht spass”!! (Very fun). 5) Leavenworth Oktoberfest October 3rd - 4th For obvious reasons, an Oktoberfest held in Leavenworth is undoubtedly awesome. Ages 12 and under get in free with a paying adult. Kids will enjoy the Kinderplatz with a climbing wall, bouncy house and clown performances. More information found at:

First Thursday Reception • 9/4 Join us on September 4th, for refreshments and fun from 5:30pm 7:30pm at the Broadway Gallery in Longview. (1418 Commerce Ave). The feature artists are Lijah Hanley for Photography and Mary Fortner for Jewelry. Live music with Bill Price will be a nice highlight of the evening. Also see the Miniature Show, with miniature art created by local artists. The Show runs Sept. 1-30 and you

can vote for your favorite at the Gallery. The Gallery has served the community’s artistic needs since 1982. Located just blocks from other downtown shops, galleries and restaurants, it has become an integral part of the downtown art scene. “The Broadway Gallery is the perfect place to browse and discover unique and special gifts.”

Washington State FAIR • 9/5-9/21 Many of us are much more familiar with the fantastic phrase, “Do the Puyallup!” around this time of the year. But, new to all of us is the ditching of the Puyallup Fair and the reassertion of The Washington State Fair! I guess the Puyallup just got too big for its britches. The name change that officially took place last year in 2013 doesn’t mean anything has changed. Still tons of fun and still tons to do, complete with free entry days, discounts, and special deals. Running almost the whole month of September, the Washington State

Fair offers a plethora of family fun for everyone. Whether you enjoy the high flying rides, concerts or fair food, this is a time when you want to head north for the F-U-N! There are a whole slew of rides, complete with “Kiddyland” area, which is currently called ‘SillyVille’, which boasts five acres of fun things for kids. Even a dinosaur themed tunnel in the train ride. There’s a new thrill ride implemented back in 2011 called Vertigo, and last year came the ‘Rainier Rush’, a looping inversion coaster. Come ready to scream.

Concerts in Ryderwood Coming to Ryderwood on Sunday, September 14th at 3 p.m.: “Sweet Swing!, an a cappella trio” from the Seattle area will bring their special blend of “Swingtime Joy (your 40’s favorites!)” to Ryderwood. Audiences of all ages will enjoy this patriotic concert in Ryderwood’s historic Auditorium. All branches of the military will be honored and the audience is encouraged to bring caps or insignia of their branch of service. In song, costume, and narration; the trio will demonstrate the era-

changing roles of women during the WWII-era. Costume changes include traditional calf-length “swishy” frocks worn by the “Girls Back Home”, “Rosie the Riveter” overalls, and uniforms like USO entertainers wore. The leader of the group has a personal connection – her mother lives in Ryderwood. This is the Ryderwood 7th Annual Variety Show to benefit improvements to the Auditorium. Tickets are $8 in advance or $10 at the door. Contact Barb at (360) 903-0591 to purchase tickets.

Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson

‘Magic in the Moonlight’

Starring: Colin Firth, Emma Stone Directed by Woody Allen Running Time 1 Hr., 40 Mins., PG-13 My Rating: B

These days, Woody Allen tends to linger between the light and the heavy, “Blue Jasmine” being the heavy and “Magic in the Moonlight” being the light. But Allen has never made a movie that wasn’t entertaining. Even some of his biggest failures have a certain sort of escapism about them that are undeniable. “Magic in the Moonlight” may not be heavy in context, but it is like a croissant: fluffy, delicious, and buttery. And considering the film takes place on the French Riviera, you can’t brush that off as a coincidence. Our leading man is Stanley Crawford (Colin Firth), a celebrated magician whose theatrics don’t boil over into his personal life. He is grumpy, utterly cynical, and not at all smitten with life. He is purely scientific. One day, Crawford is persuaded by his friend (Simon McBurney) to travel to the French Riviera in order to foil a psychic whom he believes is conning a wealthy family. The supposed oracle is Sophie Baker (Emma Stone, who looks wonderful in the setting of the 1920s), a scarlet-haired girl of about 25 who is so lovely that it isn’t hard to fall for her “gifts”. Crawford isn’t so sure. Despite the fact that Baker knows many details of his life, he is stubborn in his mindset. But with Stone’s big eyes and bright smile, that skepti-

cism won’t last for long. Yes, “Magic in the Moonlight” is a romantic comedy, and yes, it’s quite predictable, but it’s impossible to dislike the old-fashioned givings Allen shows us. It’s the kind of film that we could imagine premiering in the 1950s. Filmed in CinemaScope, with Billy Wilder taking over directional duties and Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant starring, audiences would fall for it immediately. Of course, a film like this would be dated, and “Magic in the Moonlight” feels a bit dated itself (Allen is turning 79 this year, after all). But, we often turn back to the films of Wilder, Hepburn, and Grant, because they are nostalgic pieces of cinematic dreamscapes. This film is no different. The dialogue is crisp, the setting is gorgeous, and the costumes are full of period piece delicacies. What’s not to like? Allen’s life is surrounded by controversy at the moment, but there is a reason why audiences and actors alike keep flocking to his films. He is easily able to delight us, even in the most serious of his films. With comedy, it’s like he is at home, making even the most frivolous of plot lines connect with us. With drama, he can turn the most dire of situations into something real, yet, funny in their irony. As for Stone and Firth, they are perfectly cast and clearly relishing the opportunity to work with Allen. Stone’s thoughtful and quirky mannerisms channel wondrously through Sophie, making her an appealing female lead that is easy to fall for. I

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 5 hear that she will be starring in Allen’s next film, and I can hardly wait already. She says Allen’s lines with an air of sarcasm that fits well with his subtle jabs at humor. Firth is plucky and pessimistic, and is surprisingly funny: one of the best scenes in the film comes from his distinct unawareness that Sophie, who is attempting to pour her heart out, is in love with him.

It isn’t his best work, but Woody Allen’s “Magic in the Moonlight” is thoroughly enjoyable. Firth, Stone, and the French Riviera are undeniably a combination made in romantic comedy heaven. A student of R. A. Long, Blake is an aspiring film critic that enjoys music, movies (obviously), and art. For more reviews, go to his website:

Farmers Markets are FRESH, with LOCAL produce at your fingertips

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Page 6 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

If you gotta go, what can help? Urinary incontinence is a highly under-reported and often misunderstood condition. Due to the stigma associated with incontinence, many of those affected by the disorder fail to seek treatment. Although the actual numbers as to its prevalence vary, it is conservatively estimated that more than 13 million adults in the United States suffer from incontinence at a cost exceeding $16 billion annually. Urinary incontinence, as defined by the International Continence Society is the “involuntary loss of urine which is objectively demonstrable and a social or hygienic problem”. Two of the more common types of urinary incontinence are stress urinary incontinence and urge incontinence. Stress incontinence is often induced by such ordinary occurrences as laughing, coughing, sneezing, and lifting. Urge incontinence experience such an overwhelming sensation to urinate that it is often impossible to delay bladder emptying. This disorder is 2 to 4 times greater in women than in men. Factors that contribute to this disparity are pregnancy and childbirth, constipation, and weight gain. These factors make the muscles of the pelvic floor become distended and the musculature of the pelvic floor is weakened, leaving the woman more

susceptible to urinary incontinence. Menopause can be another contributing factor to increased incidence of incontinence. During menopause, estrogen levels fall and affect the tissue of the urethra and can lead to urogenital atrophy. While there are multiple treatments of incontinence there are non-surgical interventions that can include behavioral techniques and self-care strategies. Physical therapy is a conservative form of treatment focusing on the re-education of pelvic floor musculature and retraining of the bladder. Specific behavioral techniques include pelvic floor exercises, biofeedback, vaginal weights, and general conditioning with emphasis on the core musculature. Training and reeducation of muscles is well within the scope of the physical therapy practice. Other behavioral techniques can include awareness of proper voiding techniques, amount of water and other fluids and general exercise conditioning. Marilyn Kellogg, PT, PeaceHealth Outpatient Therapies, is well versed in female health, working with incontinent clients since 1993

September is Disaster Preparedness Month This September, our nation will once again remember the anniversary of 9/11. Cowlitz County Department of Emergency Management (DEM) is a participant in National Preparedness Month in September, an event founded after 9/11 to increase preparedness in the United States. One of National Preparedness Month’s key messages is: be prepared in the event an emergency causes you to be self-reliant for up to three days without electricity and utilities, water service, access to a supermarket or local services, or without response from police, fire or rescue. Make a Kit—Prepare a kit of emergency supplies that will allow you and your family to survive for at least 3 days following a major disaster. The kit should include basic items like water, food, battery-powered radio, flashlights and a first aid kit.

Make a Plan—Plan in advance what you and your family will do in an emergency. Your plan should include a communications plan, a meeting point, and instructions on shelteringin-place or evacuating. Visit Be Informed—Learn more about the hazards that could affect your community and the appropriate responses to take. For up-to-the minute disaster information, visit: Get Involved—After preparing yourself and your family, take the next step: get training in first aid, CPR and emergency response.. This year’s National Preparedness Month focuses on turning awareness into action. More info: Cowlitz Dept of Emergency Management 577-3130. Be Prepared!

Avoiding Estate Administration Nightmares We’ve all heard the tales of messy celebrity estate administration battles, and many of us have direct experience through family or friends. Maybe Grandpa crafted his own will and did not execute it properly or there is conflicting evidence as to his real intentions.A judge who didn’t even know Grandpa will have to sort it out in court. Perhaps a long lost relative suddenly appears and wants a piece of the inheritance pie even though they were not specifically provided for. The next step is often a court battle, right when the family needs to focus on grieving the loss of their loved one. Poorly-drafted estate plans are in plentiful supply online or in office supply stores. I have personally seen hundreds of confusing, conflicting, and downright terrible wills, powers of attorney, and living trusts from these places, and let me tell you – many of them do not meet the bare minimum legal requirements. These documents are rarely, if ever, state-specific. Every state has differing statutes and court rulings on estate administration matters, so you want to be certain that all relevant documents meet the legal requirements in your state. These “legal” documents can also

be confusing or vague. And without the direction and advice of an attorney involved in the process, a drafter will not know the many options and details which could be added to the documents to ensure they will successfully achieve the person’s goals. Finally, it is part of a good estate planning attorney’s job to help you anticipate the unforeseeable in designing an estate plan. You can just imagine how many heirs have thought to themselves, ‘How I wish Mom (or Dad) had considered that possibility.’ There are so many things to consider, not just to honor your personal wishes, but to avoid putting unnecessary burdens and stress on loved ones. Do yourself and your family a favor: have your existing plan reviewed by an estate planning specialist, or if you haven’t got a plan yet make certain you create one that will work as intended. You will have true peace of mind and your heirs will be happy to receive your thoughtful gift later in life. ©2014 Jeff Kurt Petersen is an Attorney and Mediator with Three Rivers Law Center in Longview, WA. 360442-4101

Americans vs. Canadians

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship near Newfoundland and Canadian authorities in October, 1995: Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIR-


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September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 7

By Paddy Burrow Valley Bugler Columnist

Off the Streets and Out of Trouble

I’ve been wondering what to do with myself now that my husband, Stephen, has helped me retire from janitorial work, and our dear housemate and friend, Rick, has gone to be with the Lord. Steve and I took care of Rick 24/7 with the help of some wonderful caregivers, and now, with Rick’s absence, comes all this free time and I must do SOMETHING with it... But what??? This morning, as I was thinking about all this, the Lord reminded me of some things in scripture that specifically tell us what to do with our lives: Forgive everyone for everything, for they know not what they do. Micah 6:8 says to “Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God”. In the New Testament, it says to rejoice and be glad in this day, which the Lord has made. In Ecclesiastes 12:13, Solomon tells us the whole duty of man is to fear God and to obey His commandments. In other verses, it says we should delight to do His will; enter into His rest; love others as He loved us; receive the peace He left for us; repent of and

turn away from every sin and encumbrance and align ourselves with Him and His purposes; believe the Truth and be set free (to love everyone). It says we should come into His presence with singing; enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. We should ask for and receive His Holy Spirit, The Comforter, so we can comfort others the way He has comforted us; we should accept our earthly life and eternal life as gifts and live life gratefully. We should love the least, the last, the lost and the lonely - Jesus says that when we do that, we do it “unto Him”. And we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us! I’m thinking that if I try to do those specific things for the rest of my days, it will keep me “off the streets and out of trouble”. Or, come to think of it... maybe NOT! (ie: Jesus obeyed His Father perfectly and it got Him into PLENTY of trouble!) But God righted the wrongs done to Jesus, and set Him up as Lord of all. Yes, we can safely follow the Lord’s example. God can definitely be trusted! Paddy Burrow invites your feedback. eMail her at: or call her at (360)751-5231

Submitted by Georgia Cox AUGUST Events Every Monday: Our infamous Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is only $1.50! Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with the exercise classes from 9:30am to 10:30am! Facts show that exercise helps keep your body healthy and functioning as well as possible. Every 1st & 3rd Tuesday: “Write your Life Story” resumes, and will meet in the Center from 1:00pm 3:00pm. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, but PLEASE call #636-2118 (by Monday) for reservations. Paper Tole classes resume as well, from 1:00pm - 3:00pm. Every Thursday: Fun Quilting projects will take place from 12pm to 3pm and Pinochle games are played in the Center later at 7pm

and is open to all who are interested, so bring your game! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 2747502 by Monday. SPECIAL EVENTS: Tuesday, September 9th: Our Program and Potluck lunch! Speakers from SHIBA and the RSVP office will bring us up to date on our Medicare, and also Part D Plan of Health Insurance, beginning at 10:30am. A potluck lunch will follow at Noon. Please join us for this very important information. It is a Question and Answer session as well. Thursday, September 18th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am - 1pm. Have a valid punch card. NOTICE: * BINGO Games will start again in October. Watch for the date and plan to join us for another fun-filled year. * Keep your eyes peeled on the readerboard for any new and upcoming announcements.

Page 8 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

United Way of Columbia County celebrates 50 Years! By Michelle Myre

Celebrating 50 Years of working for the citizens and communities within Columbia County, United Way would like to say “Thank You”. Fifty years is a long time for any business or organization, especially one that is funded solely by the people who live, work and play inside Columbia County. Many people are familiar with the blue and gold of the United Way, but many people don’t fully understand its scope. United Way is an International Organization, however each United Way is autonomous and managed by local volunteers within specific geographical areas. Meaning the fundraising area is specific to an area, and the funds raised in that area STAY in that area. In order to get a better understanding of the work done through United Way of Columbia County, we spoke with Kathye Beck, the Executive Director. Explaining that there are approximately 22 different programs and organizations supported by the the funding within United Way of Vumbia County, Beck shared the joy that comes with that availability. “The local members and businesses in the community are what support United Way, who then in turn provide assistance to the programs serving the residents in the community. The United Way is you, working for you,”

explained Beck. Opening its doors and incorporating in 1964, the first year of United Way of Columbia County was only successful because of the drive and determination of local volunteers. “That first year, over $17,000 was raised and dispersed to 9 different organizations,” Beck shared. Now though, UWCC has gone through an enormous growth to raising up to $250,000 each year. And according to Executive Director Beck, it’s being put to incredibly good use. Riverside Community Center, one of the organizations that United Way helps support, offers support for people with disabilities through houding and work opportunities. One such story that brings it to a more personal level is embodied in a young woman who came into the community due to the closure of the state hospital in Salem. Not being able to speak or communicate for 20 years, through the tutelage and assistance at the center, she now uses a communication board. Using the board, she can point to a cup, food, colors of clothing and many other “choices” that we make on a daily basis, to communicate her thoughts. “It doesn’t always take a lot of money to help make a difference. United Way contributed a very small portion of funding to help hire a speech ther-

apist ,” shared a joyful Beck. The Riverside Community Center is only one of the different programs and organizations that are supported, all contained within four separate categories: Children, Seniors, Those with special needs and Emergency Services. Another story that the UWCC has come to cherish was about an alcoholic man, living in a metal shed behind a building. Working with the Community Action program that UWCC helps fund, he voluntarily went into a treatment program for six months, and now has a job, driver’s license, apartment and job. All because of a little bit of funding here and there, he’s now a productive member of the community, special thanks to United Way and the collaboration and coordination of programs they hel fund, which in turn is special thanks to Columbia County residents. Stories like these are plentiful when discussing United Way of ANY coun-

ty, and the widely dramatic impact upon its area residents. “Makes you feel really awesome knowing that you had a little bit of an opportunity to help make a difference in someone’s life,” said Executive Director Beck. If you’ve ever given financial or volunteer support to United Way of your county, then know that you have given back directly to your community. Perhaps your funding fed a hungry family, or assisted with training for various job programs. Whatever the programs that your United Way supports, you can be assured that your financial donations are being used for good. United Way of Columbia County (503)556-3614 Want to learn more about United Way of Columbia County or the United Way in your own county? Visit online at:

Lewis River Fall Festival September 27th & 28th It’s FREE! Come celebrate the last days of summer in the Beautiful Lewis River Valley on September 27th & 28th at Horseshoe Lake in Woodland. (200 Park Rd, Woodland WA. Offering Live Music, Wine Tasting, Beer Garden, Duck Boat Rides, Sports Car & Motorcycle Show, and a whole lot more! This outdoor family family event kicked off in 2012 and is sure to con-

tinue for many more years due to its popularity. The Festival mainly benefits the building of the new 40 acre Scott Hill Park & Sports Complex in Woodland. Headed by the Woodland Rotary in partnership with the City of Woodland. The other funding from the Festival benefits select local charities, Woodland’s Reading is Fundamental Program, Lewis River Little League, and the Woodland Community Service Center.

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 9

COUPON Central Save BIG with these Valley Bugler Coupons *Note: Stirling Honda’s awesome Express Lube/Oil & Filter coupon is found on p.13


Page 10 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

‘Rod Run to the End of the World’ 2014 September 6th & 7th 2014 LONG BEACH, WA It’s cars and the beach. The perfect combination to enjoy our last days of summer, and head out to one of the last car shows of the year, with over 800 awesome vehicles to browse, and owners to shoot the breeze. Now Accepting 1984 and Older Vehicles!! The registration fee is $45.00 for one vehicle, two people and participant children under the age of 11 with 2 tickets for the Seafood BBQ. Entry

with extra adults or children 12 and older who will be coming with you will be $10.00 each. Your $45.00 entry fee entitles you to Continental Breakfast Saturday morning, Door Prizes, participation in the Poker Run, Trophies, Show and Shine and BBQ on Sunday. The first 800 cars will receive dash plaque as part of the (2-Day) registration. Registration and complete information online: The Boy Scouts will be at the show with the Pinewood Derby track and

their cars. Feel free to bring your car from yesteryear to race or build a new one. Saturday will offer Door Prizes, the Continental Breakfast, Cruise and Show & Shine for participants only, Mini-Swap meet, Pinewood Derby, Live Entertainment and all sorts of vendors. Sunday has the Poker Run at 9:00am, Mini-Swap Meet, Seafood BBQ for Participants oly, Show & Shine, and lots of vendors. Trophy presentation begins at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday. For additional information, call the Beach Barons at 1-360-665-3565, and check our web site for info. Registration can be found online, where you can print and then send your registration to: Beach Barons Registration P.O. Box 237 Ocean Park, WA 98640

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The scoop on Columbia Auto Group By Michelle Myre Columbia Auto Group located on 7th Ave in Longview, offers clients a full range of new and used vehicles. If you’re in the market for a new ride, you can stop at their lot and visit with a friendly sales person and check out the Ford, Hyundai, Lincoln and Nissan cars available. With over 400 rides to choose from, there’s no need to spend the money on extra gas driving to Portland or Vancouver. They have everything right here. Including massive selection for fuelefficient cars hitting close or over 40mpg! Additionally, if the car you have your little heart set on isn’t on their lot,

they’ll do everything within their power to get it for you. Speaking from experience, my own car buying time with Columbia Auto Group was pleasant and very friendly. Nobody was ever pushy, and the staff was helpful and well informed. Speaking with Phil Sari, General Sales Manager, and one of the dealership owners, he explained why it is so important for the community to consider purchasing their cars within their own borders. “Sales tax. It all comes down to sales tax. The local community benefits tremendously from the local sales tax of vehicles purchased,” Sari explained. It certainly makes sense. The Sari family has owned and op-

erated Columbia Auto Group for over 50 years contributing to that local sales tax generation, and the loyal customer and employee base prove it’s been a very successful formula. Some recent testimonials from purchasing clients rave about Columbia Auto Group’s performance. “Working with Columbia Ford was an amazing experience. They were patient and understanding in our decision making process and they were efficient and helpful. They made buying a first car and even more exciting experience than it already is! Completely recommend 100%,” shared Fiona and Ailis Thornhill from Longview. Melanie R. from Longview, a longtime client of Columbia Auto Group, recently testified, “I have always been a Columbia Ford customer. They have the best customer service and

the best cars! I want to thank Mike Wilmer and the Sari Family for being so friendly and taking care of me! I LOVE my new Ford Escape!!” The rave reviews go on and on, and don’t stop with the sales end of things either, but continue on into their Service side as well. In short, their reputation speaks for itself. With a business motto that reads, “Our reputation rides with you”, you simply can’t go wrong. So, if you’re in the market for a new ride, or looking at comparing fuel efficiencies between cars, or need to get something fixed on your current set of wheels, give Columbia Ford a call. They’ll be sure to help, and you’ll gain some new friends as well. Columbia Auto Group 700-7th Ave, Longview (360)423-4321

Page 12 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

The seattle raceway

National Fuel & Funny Car Championship Races By Ray Miles Valley Bugler Columnist A change of pace this month as I would like to share some of the excitement I experienced a few days back, namely going to the National Fuel and Funny Car Championship races at Seattle Raceway. If you are a car nut like me and haven’t been to a drag race in the last few years, then it is something that is a must do. The funny cars are really just dragsters in disguise, but awesome never the less. The raw power is nothing short of spectacular. I was told the motors are capable of 8 to 10 thousand horsepower for very brief periods of time, like 4 seconds! And in that very short time, the vehicle accelerates to over 300 miles an hour in 1000 feet! It is said that the driver experiences G loads greater than astronauts on takeoff in rockets. The machines themselves are

works of art. Every part is individually massaged to perfection and precisely fitted to the other parts. Some things like the connecting rods are not only balanced to a tenth of a gram, but are made in very slightly different lengths so that a particular cylinder can be tailored exactly in compression ratio based on temperature readings of the exhaust as well as the crew chief’s experience and judgment. Often times between rounds, the engines are completely torn down and rebuilt so that the engine can run another race. The pits are a whirlwind of activity as the crews go about their duties inspecting and repairing the various systems that make up the race vehicle. But the real fun is watching the races. They start out by doing a burn out which warms the rubber compound for maximum traction. Then they are brought back to the starting line and after getting staged just right, the lights go from yellow to green and they are off. Not a split second is wasted, as most races are won at the start; meaning the first off the line usually wins. When the race car passes the pressure wave from their exhaust and perhaps the race car itself feels like a

crushing force on your body momentarily, but it only lasts a second. Then you scan the reader boards at the end to see who won and what their times were. Absolutely unbelievable! I saw 320 miles an hour in just over 4 seconds! Compared with a championship race I went to in 1964 where I saw the first dragster to break 7 seconds in a full quarter mile (1320 ft), the difference is truly amazing. Then there are the “door slammers”, not quite so high priced race cars that have big motors and all, but run around 150 to 200 miles per hour in a pass. These vehicles look like cars you might see on the street, but are obviously not street legal. They are often fitted with blowers or

Nitrous Oxide systems that provide exceptional additional power so they are really fun to watch. Of course, then there are the people themselves, if you get a kick out of people watching, you would love to see them. Those who must go to great lengths to adorn themselves with racing paraphernalia and body ink. These races also come with lots of eye candy for the car nut; vendors selling every conceivable performance enhancing do dads available, as well as dress up items to make your ride at least ”look fast”…. Happy Motoring, Ray Ray Miles is the owner of R & R Motors in Castle Rock, WA. After taking a hiatus from writing, he has come back to the paper again!

SLOW Drag at the Port of Ilwaco SEPTEMBER 5th Hot rods line up on Howerton Way at the Port of Ilwaco, WA to compete in a coasting competition. Cars have approximately 15 feet in which to accelerate and then coast for 200 yards. To win, a car must cross the finish line and stop closest to the line. Trophies and assorted gift certificates are awarded during this fun SLOW Drag race. It’s a great warm up for the weekend, with the “Rod Run to the End of the World” hitting nearby at Ocean Park on the 6-7th.

The Port of Ilwaco is located on the SW Coast of Washington, nestled just inside the Columbia River bar. It’s a working fishing village in a scenic and tranquil setting. Not to mention popular. If you’re looking to moor a boat there, you had better call to make sure there is availability. Surrounding the waterfront is a lovely smattering of restaurants, gift shops, art galleries, retail seafood outlets, coffee shops, and a bookstore. There is also the Lewis & Clark Discovery Trail as part of the waterfront walkway.

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Stirling Honda has a FULL service repair shop, too? By Michelle Myre Driving along Washington Way, one of the main drags in Longview, you can’t help but notice the car dealership, Stirling Honda on your trek. Most residents of Longview know right where they’re located, just because of their high visibility factor. But what most residents don’t know is all of the services they offer. Much more than a “Car Lot” where you can buy Used or New Vehicles with friendly local sales people. What everyone knows as Stirling Honda is technically Stirling Automotive, and they offer a full range of services to car owners, regardless of the make and model. In other words, it doesn’t have to be a Honda. Sure, anyone can take their car in for one of their signature services, “Express Lube & Filter” (which includes a free hand wash, by the way), but did you know you can also take it in for engine repair and new tires? In a recent interview with Service Manager Steve Harding, the complete scope of services was more than I had anticipated or known. Working for Stirling Honda for 26 years, Harding has an extensive breadth of knowledge to share. “We are a full service maintenance and repair operation, and it’s something that we would really like the community to know. There’s so much

Above: Stirling Honda Dealership on Washington Way. Photo by Diana Jones

more we offer than just the Lube & Oil change”, Harding explained. In addition to their extremely popular (and fast!) Express Lube, Stirling offers Full Brake Repair, Suspension Repair, Tire Rotation & Alignment, Tire Sales, Engine & Transmission Repair, Air Conditioning services and Repair, Cooling System service and repairs, and Fuel and Emission systems analysis and repairs. The key? It’s not just for Hondas! All of the above services are offered for any make or model vehicle, including the newly added Tire Sales department. Harding put it best when he shared that “we’re not just a Honda place, because we can work on and put tires on just about any vehicle.” The only limitation is in the computer electronics side of things with vehicles other than Hondas. “When you get into the intricate

electrical systems and computers for other cars, we just aren’t able to service those specific needs if it isn’t a Honda”, explained Harding, “but we can do everything else!” And their service standard shines through the testimonials of their clients. One customer shares online, “Wanted to commend Dave in service. He was very helpful and insightful on an issue with my Civic! Thank you Dave!” And C. Lacy from Longview says, “They have always been courteous, helpful, friendly, cheerful AND prompt. They remember our names, vehicles and years, and they even wash our cars when they come in...I feel they have gone the extra mile a LOT”. But the shining praise doesn’t stop on the service side, as recent new or used car owners purchased from Stirling also have something to say.

“I got a great buy on a new Pilot at Stirling Honda. The staff were very professional and not pushy at all. It was a pleasure to do business there. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for an honest and pleasant experience buying a car”, shared Mario from Napavine. In hearing the other positive feedback from Stirling clients, words like “enjoyable”, “low pressure” and “wonderful transaction” come out most frequently. As with any business, this is largely due to the head of the company, and the ideals and practices that are integral to the company as a whole. The year is 1974, and Honda Factory representative Jim Stirling decided to take a leap and start up what the Longview area knew then as “Jim Stirling Motors, Inc”. Beginning as a GM dealership, Honda came into the picture later, during the early 80’s. The company was founded at the start with solid and fair business practices, with the greatest attention to customer service and professionalism, and it has continued to this day through Jim Stirling’s son, John. John Stirling now runs the day to day operations and manages the company, but he didn’t just jump into this position. He earned it. Washing cars on the lot as a youngster, then moving into the Detail Department and on into the Service See STIRLING, cont. on next page

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Patriot Day: 9/11/14 Beer Battered Halibut Fish & Chips By Laurrie Piland Valley Bugler Columnist I know that one of our favorites here in the ol’ RV is halibut fish and chips. We don’t have it very often because of how expensive it is, but, once in a while, I’ll find an awesome sale on halibut and set out to make Beer Battered Halibut. I only fry fish outside. I don’t like the greasy oil splatter in the kitchen. I don’t use my deep-fryer for this, either. I use a heavy pot with a thermometer. It’s very important to keep the oil at 350 degrees so that you don’t wind up with a mouthful of oily fish! Beer Battered Halibut & Fries 1lb halibut cut into portions (1lb feeds roughly 3-4 people) 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1-1/2 teaspoons sea salt 1/4 black pepper 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon paprika 1/2 teaspoon onion powder 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 cups ale or beer, or enough to get to desired consistency Batter: Combine all ingredients except fish. It may take more than 2 cups of beer to achieve this. Let sit, covered with a clean kitchen towel for 4-5 hours. To prepare: Heat 3” of oil in a heavy pot to 350 degrees on a thermometer (Deep fryer ok). Dip halibut pieces into batter so that they are well covered. Add 3 or 4 pieces at a time, CAREFULLY, into the pot. Do not over-crowd! This is the most important thing to remember! If you put too many into the oil at once, you’ll lower the temperature and wind up with oily fish. Fry for 2-3 minutes or until golden brown. Drain on a wire rack placed over paper towels. Serve with tartar, malt vinegar and a lemon wedge.

Of course, no Fish & Chips meal would be complete without a generous helping of chips (fries). Did you know that French fries are not, in fact, French? They aren’t. French refers to the cut. They were actually invented in Belgium, where they are usually served with mussels. There is a technique to making the best French fries you’ve ever tasted right in your own home. I use 1 large potato per person. Peel them, cut them into “steak” fry size and soak them in a bowl of cold, salted water for an hour. Drain the fries and pat them completely dry. Heat the pot of oil (before you fry the fish) to 300 degrees. Add a handful of the dried fries in and fry for 60 seconds. That’s it. One minute. Remove from oil and drain on paper towels and let cool completely. This parboils them, so to speak. Once you have the first initial fry done and they are all completely cooled, bring the oil up to 350 degrees and add a small amount at a time and fry until golden brown. Remove from oil, drain on paper towels and lightly salt with sea salt. I promise these are the BEST fries you’ll ever have and they are the perfect partner for a delicious piece of Beer Battered Halibut. Until next month, Peace! RV cook extraordinaire.. proving to the world that RV food can be gourmet. Mad blogger and facebooker from her RV galley in the shadow of Mt. St. Helens!

Not to be confused with National Patriot’s Day, celebrated in April on an annual basis, On September 11th we honor those who died and those who served heroically during the worst terrorist attacks in United States history. On September 11, 2001, almost three thousand people died in New York, Washington, D.C. and in the fields of Pennsylvania. Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing when they first saw the events on television, or heard about them on the news coverage that continued throughout the day, night and beyond. A month later, the U.S. House of Representatives passed Joint Resolution 71. It was first designated as the Day of Prayer and Remembrance for the Victims of the Terrorist Attacks on September 11, 2001. The following year, President George W. Bush proclaimed that

September 11 would be observed as Patriot Day. The President directed that the American flag be flown at half-mast and displayed from homes, at the White House, and on all U.S. government buildings at home and abroad. Most businesses do the same. Americans are asked to observe a moment of silence beginning at 8:46 a.m. (Eastern Daylight Time), the time of the first plane crash at the World Trade Center. Patriot Day is a time of both sadness and pride: sadness for the innocent victims and their families and pride in the actions of the firemen and the brave acts of many others. Patriot Day will take on added significance this year with the running of the Boston Marathon a year after the bombings that killed three people and injured more than 250. The marathon is always held on Patriot’s Day.

STIRLING, cont. from p.14 side of things, he eventually took the position as Service Manager, where he worked with current Service Manager, Steve Harding. “When I was working under John when he was Service Manager, I got some fantastic mentoring and learned a lot,” said Harding. “It was very helpful for me, especially now that I’m Service Managing”. Overall, Stirling Honda offers the community a great choice with any car needs, whether that be buying a new vehicle, or getting your current car running smoothly again. You can learn more about Stirling Honda at their web site, and definitely

by calling and asking any specific questions. We would like to thank Stirling Honda for being a Sponsor in our Auto Issue, and for their continued loyal support through advertising. This paper is made possible by our great advertisers like Stirling Automotive. Stirling Honda 1060 Vandercook Way Sales Information: (877)834-7359 M - Sat, 8:30am - 7:00pm Service Information: (360)423-3351 M - F, 7:30am - 5:30pm

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 15

A shocking web stat By Oscar Myre IV Valley Bugler Columnist Let me tell you a shocking website stat! But, before I do, let’s talk a bit about website statistics. There are many stats programs out the to track visitors and their behaviors on your website. Your can gather some very powerful data such as your quantity of visitors, popularity of your pages and posts. You can even define some desired outcomes and such as making a purchase, filing out a form, downloading a file and have the software track how effective you are at converting visitors. Some of the post popular web analytics are Google Analytics, Omniture, WebTrends, AWStats, Webalizer & StatCounter. Almost every website has some sort of statics tracking. With all of the stats you can track to improve your web presence, and in turn improve your business, you might be shocked at the following statistic from my recent marketing survey of small businesses. 32% of business check their stats quarterly or monthly and the remain 68% don’t check their stats at all. That’s right, most small busi-

ness don’t check their website stats. Shocking I know. In talking with businesses I believe that a majority see the value of Analytics, but they just don’t know where to start. I have a question for you... How can you improve something you don’t track? If you are part of the majority, don’t despair. You likely have stats ready and waiting for you to check them out. You might even have months or even years of data. You just need to start checking. Get a hold of whoever controls your website and say, “Please (geeks appreciate good manners) give me access to my Web Analytics”. For first time stat checkers, the wealth of information can be overwhelming. You would do well to have a consult with a web marketer to learn what it all means. Your company needs to have a pulse on your website, but you don’t have to do it alone. With the keys and basic knowledge in hand… I challenge you to check your stats once a month for 3 months. I encourage to to be able to answer the following 3 questions.

How many visitors does your site get each month? What are the 5 most popular page or posts on your site? What would you like people to do on your site AND are they doing it? Please take 20 minutes a a month for 3 months, You will have a much better understand of how your web site is working for you. You can then decide if you will personally be the person to monitors and improve your website or if you would be better to

delegate. I encourage you to take me up on my challenge. You will learn what you web site is doing and really think what you’d like it do. You can then make intelligent decisions on how to improve your business by improving your website. ~:-) Oscar Myre IV is the Creative Director & Owner at omOriginals Marketing! a local Web firm for over fifteen years. Call (360)5759839 or visit:

If Microsoft Built Cars... 1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too. 4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT”. But, then you would have to buy more seats. 5. Macintosh would make a car that

was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5 percent of the roads. 6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. 7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9. The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before going off. 10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Save these for fishing with buddies ☺ Marriage Seminar Tom and his wife listened to the seminar instructor say it’s essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes. ‘’Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?” Tom touched his wife’s arm proudly and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”

Then another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after it A policeman radioed that he was going after two Corvettes his radar gun had clocked at 120 mph and ... “You’re not going to believe this,” he said, “but a guy on a 10-speed bike is honking to pass!”

The perfect hearing aid A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4,000, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”

Bad Day A woman came home one day to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy. He had with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his iPod.

Telling the sex of a fly She noticed her husband holding a fly swatter and asked, “Did you get any yet?” “Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied. “How do you know?” “Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.” 10 speed bike A man wanted to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff, but the mountains became too much for him. While trying to hitch a ride, a guy in a Corvette pulled over to help. The bike wouldn’t fit in the car, so they tied it to the back bumper. The Corvette owner told the man that if he was going too fast, he should toot his bike horn. Everything went well for about 30 miles.

Uncle ‘Money’ (Shown at top left) gets to celebrate his birthday as a daddy with a toddler!! Bailey Emma Reich, whom we affectionately call “Baily Boo” is now just over one year old and lighting up our family with her smiles and sweet words. Auntie Larae (Shown at right), with her youngest daughter, Miley, celebrates her special day at the end of August. We love you dearly, Birthday Boy and Birthday Girl! Happy Birthday, with many more adventures to come!

Page 16 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

IS NOW! will usually follow suit on their own. The occasional candy or sweet treat isn’t bad - encourage kids to listen to their bodies and make wise choices with cookies and other treats. If they have full access to the goodies, they will actually be more apt to learn quickly that if they stuff themselves with sweets, they usually don’t

feel very good afterwards. Not making “treats” such a big deal, encourages them to make wise choices for themselves. On the same note, if you are demonstrating that grabbing a handful of almonds instead of chocolate is your choice, they will most likely follow suit.

Grandparents Day: September 7th

After school snack Success If you’re a mom or dad or even older sibling, you understand that when those kids come home from school, they’re so hungry they could eat a horse. Backpacks get thrown to the floor and immediate chants of “I’m hungry” start chorusing around the kitchen airwaves. The key to success for fueling their sometimes endless bellies? Preparation and Creativity. Here are a few helpful tips for making snack time an easy “fun time” of feeding the kids and allowing them time to “download” school to you. The best snacks are those that combine two or three food groups such as: * Celery filled with peanut butter and topped with a few raisins. (We call these ‘ants on a log’. Sometimes M&M’s go over well, too and we laugh about their colorful ‘coats’ that the ants have.) * Low-fat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Jelly could be sugar free or home-made.

* Cottage cheese and fruit. A great combo that we found was cottage cheese and red grapes. Surprisingly delicious and the kids gobble it down quickly. (Use low-fat cottage cheese). * Crunchy nuts or trail mix offer a pleasing crunchy snack. * Fishy crackers offered in a fun margarita glass or bowl can offer a “twist” on the “norm”. Prepare snacks such as fruit and veggies into bite-size pieces or chunks on an evening where you have ten to fifteen minutes, and set in the fridge at eye level in containers that kids can easily pluck from. Slice carrots, peppers and broccoli and arrange in a fun bowl where kids can grab out what they want. Fruit can be offered in fun dishes or with interesting spoons and forks, too - try making a waldorf salad and inserting it into a waffle cone! Whatever you do - preparation is the key, and once you establish that eating healthy snacks is best for growing young bodies, your children

This year, Grandparents Day falls on Sunday, September 7th. Purpose This day has a threefold purpose: • To honor grandparents • To give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children. • To help children become aware of the strength, information and guidance older people can offer. In 1970, a West Virginia housewife, Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, initiated a campaign to set aside a special day just for Grandparents. Through concerted efforts on the part of civic, business, church, and political leaders, this campaign expanded statewide. Senator Jennings Randolph (D-WV) was especially instrumental in the project. The first Grandparents Day was proclaimed in 1973 in West Virginia by Governor Arch Moore. Also in 1973, Senator Randolph introduced a Grandparents Day resolution in the United States Senate. The resolution languished in committee. Mrs. McQuade and her team turned to the media to garner support. They also began contacting governors, senators, congressmen in every state. And they sent letters to churches, businesses, and numerous national organizations interested in senior citizens. In 1978, five years after its West Virginia inception, the United StatesCongress passed legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day.

From Left: Cora Myre (4), Toni Reich, Tom Reich, and Chloe Myre (6) show how fun it is to hang out with grandparents! Photo by Michelle Myre.

The proclamation was signed by President Jimmy Carter. (September was chosen for the holiday, to signify the “autumn years” of life.) Today this event, begun by only a few, is observed by millions throughout the United States. Some families enjoy small, private gatherings. Others celebrate by holding a family reunion. Board games which are easily played by young and old add enjoyment to family gatherings, enhancing “intergenerational interaction”. With the start of back to school, grandparents day is a fantastic time to encourage grandchildren to connect and share about their recent experiences. Maybe a special date with ice cream or those yummy home made cookies will help! Grandparents have taken on a much more integral role into the lives of many children around the nation. Functioning even as their adoptive parents when the need arises, many grandparents find themselves back into the diaper bag stages of life. Whether your children’s grandparents live with you, or far away - September 7th is a special day set aside to show their appreciation and love. We love you Grandma Jill, Poppy O, Poppy Tom, Mimi Toni, and remember fondly Grandppa Bill, Grandma Margaret, Grandpa George, Grammy Fran, and Grandma Nadine!

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 17

KIWANIS CLUBS focus their community service hours to the welfare of children.

CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO - Thurs. noon at 3 Rivers Mall, Comm. Room. LONGVIEW - Thursdays. noon at JT’s. SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of each month at the Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting at 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360-785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. The FLEET RESERVE ASSOCIATION (FRA), an organization of Naval Service Veterans, Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard. Lower Columbia Branch 363 meets 6:30 p.m., 2nd Friday, each month at the Longview VFW building, 4311 Ocean Beach Highway. For more information contact: Ray Hegr at (360) 425-6981 or E-mail at fra363@yahoo. com. FLEET RESERVE AUXILIARY #363 meets the 2nd Friday of the month at the VFW Hall, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. A potluck at 6:30 p.m. with the meeting at 7:30 p.m. All people who have active, retired, or reserve status family members who are now serving or have served with the US Navy, Marines or Coast Guard are welcome. Info 425.4688. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. One of our many projects is to serve the youth of the communities. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets the 1st Tuesday @ 7 p.m. at their Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. For more information, contact John at 274.4350 or Nikki at 274.5263. TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Tues. Bingo @ 6 p.m., 5 p.m. dinner; Auxilary mtngs at 11 a.m. every 2nd Wednesday. Breakfast for veterans served 1st Sat. of each month $6 each from 9 - 11 a.m. The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 meets the 2nd Wednesday at 11 a.m. at the VFW Hall located at 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. For info or questions please call Ruby at (360) 577-0414 or Jeannette at (360) 414-4053. WOODLAND VFW POST 1927, 434 Davidson St, Woodland. BINGO every Tues. Doors open at 6:00p.m. Games begin at 6:30pm. Snacks & Soda avail. COWLITZ PRAIRIE GRANGE #737 meets 2nd Wednesdays 6:30pm potluck, 4th Wednesdays 7:30pm dessert. 5180 Jackson Hwy, Toledo, WA 864-2023 SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 2nd & 4th Saturdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info & rental 274-7649. CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 425.2973. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd & 4th Mon. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group. Info & rentals call 425-6101 Junior Grange meets 1st & 3rd Mondays 6 p.m. - 7 p.m. CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock.

THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling. LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m. 2nd and 4th Mondays, dinner and speaker at The Carriage Restaurant on 12th LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st & 3rd Wednesdays, 6:45 a.m. THE VADER LIONS CLUB meets the 1st Thursday @ 6 p.m. and the 3rd Thursday @ 7 p.m. at the club’s building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB - LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Cowlitz Regional Expo & Conference Center. Provide humanitarian service to the citizens of the area, visitors are welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. in Longview Kelso Kels Building. Call Richard (360)425-5876 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125 MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon.  Location and info: or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. Brook Hollow Rec. Center & Thurs. @ LV Senior Center 1 - 4 p.m . 274-3175 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 2nd & 4th Tues. 6 p.m. potluck, meeting 7:00. Info: 423-6952, Rentals 423-8270, or 560-5140. LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thursdays from 12 - 1 p.m.. 1st - Board; 2nd - Business; 3rd - Committee; 4th - Program; Lunch served for $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets at 10 a.m. the 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Due to holidays, Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Most mtngs Grace Lutheran Church in Longview. Info: 425-0755 COWLITZ BEE ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month @ WSU Extension Office, 7 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Monday @ 7:00pm or Thursday @ 7:30pm at Longview United Methodist Church. 2851 30th Ave, Longview. For info call Vee (503)449-6005 or

Abernathy Assembly of God 702 Abernathy Creek Rd. Longview Phone: 360-636-1620 Website: Sunday Service 10:45 AM Apostolic Lutheran Church 248 Cowlitz St. W., Castle Rock Sunday School 10:15 a.m. Church at 11 a.m. Information Dave Kandoll 295-3461 Baha’i Faith Vader 360-751-3181 Centralia 360-807- 4313 Packwood 360-494-4767 Longview 360-423-4105 Wednesdays 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Bethany Lutheran Church 2900 Parkview Drive, Longview Office: (360)577-8240 Pastor Shelley Willem Sunday Worship: 9:30 a.m. Castle Rock Christian Church 542 Huntington Ave. S, Castle R. Sunday school – 9 am (all ages) Sunday Worship – 10 am Dr. John Leffler, Senior Pastor 6th-12th Gr. youth Wed, 6-7:30 pm 360-274-6771 M-F, 9:30a -1:30pm Call for home groups/studies Grace and Truth City Church 525 Third Ave SW – Castle Rock Pastor David Beer Worship 10:15am, 749-2289 Grace Bible Fellowship 300 S.10th Ave, Kelso Worship: Sunday 11:00am Bible Study 9:30 a.m. (360)423-4035

Rose Valley Friends Church 1437 Rose Valley Rd. Kelso 360-425-3222 Church Office 9:30am Sunday School Hour for all 10:45am Worship Service 5:00pm - 7:00pm Valley Youth Group 6-8pm Wednesday-JValley Youth 6-8pm -Sunday-JValley Youth Ryderwood Community Church,

315 Jackson St. PO Box 161, Ryderwood, Pastor Bill Bowlby, 360-295-3962 Service Opportunities 11 am Sunday

Grace United Methodist Church, Vader, 295.3402 Rev. Steven A. Caskey, pastor Sunday worshipndservice – 12:15 p.m. Potluck every 2 Sunday Quilting on Mondays & Thursdays

St. Mary Catholic Church 120 Powell Rd., Castle Rock 274.7404 W & Th Daily Mass 8:30A Sunday Mass 8:30A

House of Prayer for All Nations 868 9th ave. Longview, WA Sunday School 9:45 AM Morning Service 11:15 AM Evening Service 6 PM

St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church 412 Pioneer Ave., Box 1467 Castle Rock Worship 10 a.m. Sunday - 274.9393

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church 2200 Allen Street, Kelso (360) 423-3650 M & F Daily Mass 12:15 PM Sat Vigil Mass 5:30 PM Sunday Mass 10:30 AM

St. Paul Lutheran Church 312 First Ave. SW, PO Box 847, Castle Rock 274.6604 Worship Service: 9a.m. & 11 a.m. SundayE40! (education) @ 10:10 a.m. Wed: 5th & 6th grade Youth Group - 6 p.m. Wed: 7th-12th gr Youth, 7:30pm Pastor Bob Sinclair

Kalama Baptist Church, Pastor Wes Eader 112 Vincent Rd, Kalama WA - Sunday School Castle Rock Church of the Nazarene 9:45am - Worship 456 Pioneer Ave. NE, Castle Rock 11:00am Sunday School classes 9:30 a.m. Call 673-5570 Worship Celebration 10:45 a.m. Evening church service 6:30 p.m. Women’s Bible study Th 10:30am Kelso First United Methodist Church Rev. Reo McBride, 206 Cowlitz Way, Kelso Pastor - 274.6546 Contemporary Service 9:00 am Sunday School 9:20 am Traditional Service 11:00 am Castle Rock First Baptist Church Wed: Children (Grade 1-12) 5:30-7 pm 211 Front Ave. NW, Castle Rock Pastor Vonda McFadden Pastor Joel Royce 274-4113 Sun Bible Study all ages: 9:45am 360-423-7480 Worship 11a.m. Tues. Adult Bible Study 1:30pm Lexington Bible Fellowship 98 Garden Street, Kelso (Lexington) Castle Rock United Methodist Sunday school @ 9:45am 241 First Street, Castle Rock Sunday worship @ 11am Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Pastor Jerry Hancuff Worship 10:55 a.m. Sunday Youth Group: Sundays 2 p.m. Rev. Pam Brokaw - 274.4252 Life Center Corner of Rock & Pine in Centralia Sundays at 10:30am or Central Christian Church Oyler Rd & Hwy 12 in Ethel 401 Crawford St., Kelso Sundays Worship -11am (Sunday school 9:00am 360-736-5898 9:30am) Wednesdays @ 6pm (Youth @ 6:45 Bible Studies - many available Russ Tevis, Minister Living Hope Church 360-425-3420 Church Office 2711 NW Andreson, Vancouver 11:00am Sundays Pastor Dean Jenks (360)944-3905 Church of Christ 300 St. Helen’s St., Toledo, Wa Longview Church of the Nazarene Sunday Bible Class 10 a.m. Sunday Worship 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. 814 - 15th Ave, Longview Sunday Service 10:30 a.m. Tuesday Bible Class 11 a.m. Sunday School 9:00 a.m. Wednesday Bible Study 6 p.m. Celebrate Recovery Thurs at 6 p.m 360-577-1100 John Gadberry, Minister 360-274-8570 Longview Community Church, 2323 Washington Way - Longview Emmanuel Lutheran Church service Sunday 2218 E. Kessler Blvd. - Longview Worship Contemporary Service 8:45 a.m. Sunday Worship - 8:30am Traditional Service 11 a.m. Sunday “Celebration” - 11 a.m. Pastor John Williams 423.6380 Thursday Worship - 6:30 p.m. Child care available at all services Pastor David Martin, Senior Pastor Longview Presbyterian Church Church office - 360-423-3250 3808 Pennsylvania St., Longview Worship and Children’s Class: Sun. 10am Faith Fellowship Lutheran Brethren; Child care provided Pastor Meghan Davis (360)577-8951 Church 210 Fishers Lane, Kelso Pastor Chris Leingang Worship at 10:00am New and Living Way Church 951 Delaware St., Longview Church Office (360) 425-4390 Sundays 10am & 6pm Wednesdays 7pm Fathers House Church 703-3340 1315 Commerce Ave Downtown Longview Oak Point Community Church Worship Sundays: 445 Oakpoint Rd, Longview 9am, 10:30am Pastor Chuck Tilton 423-7826 Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Sunday Service 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. Thursday Bible Study 7 p.m. Fireside Fellowship Pastor Doug McMurray; 360-577-6037 271 Atmore Road, Toutle Worship Sunday 10:00 a.m. The Rock Meeting at 1955 Huntington Ave S, Castle Rock First Christian Church Worship 10 a.m. every Sunday (Disciples of Christ) Wednesday @ 7pm Service 2000 East Kessler Blv - Longview Pastors Jerry & Angie Hughes 360.425.4220 274.7480 Rev. Eric Atcheson

St. Rose Catholic Church 2571 Nichols Blvd Longview, WA 360-425-4660 The Salvation Army Church 1639 10th Ave, Longview Sunday School @ 9:45am Holiness Meeting @ 11:00am 360-423-3992 St. Stephens Episcopal 1428 - 22nd, Longview WA Office: (360)423-5600 Sunday Worship: 8:00am & 10:00am Seventh Day Adventist Church 7531 Old Pacific Hwy -Castle Rock Worship 11 a.m. Saturday Pastor Ben Moore 274.6090 Seventh Day Adventist Church Journey Church 77 Solomon Road, Kelso WA Office: (360)423-7344 Saturday Worship: 11:05am Pastor Marcia Stone Stella Lutheran Chapel P.O. Box 546, 124 Sherman Road, Longview Pastor Carol Plummer Sunday Worship 10:00 am Children’s Sunday School 10:15 a.m. Office (360) 423-3795 (Wed. Only) Toutle Christian Fellowship 5067 Spirit Lake Hwy – Toutle Worship Service Sunday 9 a.m. Childcare provided Pastor Denny Martinez (360)274-6305 Vader Assembly of God Church 302 - 6th St., Vader, WA (360)295-3756 Pastor Tracy Durham Sunday Worship: 10:30am & 6:00pm Sunday Youth Group: 6:00pm Wed. Adult Bible Study & Kidz Church: 7p.m. If you would like to have your church updated or added to our directory, please email

Page 18 • Valley Bugler • September 2014 no fear of people. The deer finally ate her fill and walked off through our non-existent fence. I looked at my wife and said “Now aren’t you glad that the fence was open?” My wife smiled “That deer was simply beautiful.” The next day, our fence was finished. I looked at it and smiled. I just knew in my heart that my wife would be happy. “Bill did you see what they did to the fence? They didn’t alternate the boards; they nailed them all on one side. We have the rough side facing us. That

By Bill Eagle Valley Bugler Columnist


People say that Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and we see things differently. My wife and I have a fairly large city lot, about a third of an acre. Not big by rural country standards but big enough for our needs. The lot is longer than it’s wide, with plenty of room for fruit trees and a garden. Many years ago my wife and I built a fence. We thought that we needed a place where our dog could run free and do things that dogs love to do. It was a nice fence and it was constructed of wood about six feet high with a nice design. It cost quite a bit, but it provided our family with security and the knowledge that our dog could be let out of our house to run free. I ran a buried electric cord along one side and my wife put in a fountain and a birdbath. It was pretty, it was nice and we loved our large back yard. The years passed by, time and weather took its toll and what used to be a beautiful fence started to lean and look less beautiful. I replaced a few loose boards, but it was pretty obvious that our one time beautiful fence was aging. It was an early spring morning when I crawled out of bed and put on my exercise clothes. I was prepared to take advantage of a beautiful day. I grabbed my cell phone and initialized its GPS for my new walking app. I was just about to leave when my wife

cried, “Bill, I think our fence is gone!” “What?” “Our fence has disappeared!” I looked out of our patio door, and sure enough, we no longer had a fence. I noticed some people working in my neighbor’s back yard. I approached one of them and inquired. “What happened to our fence?” The worker responded, “We’re going to build a new one.” I responded with “Cool!” My wife was not happy. “Bill, our neighbors never said a word to us about what they were doing.” I shrugged. “Be happy, we’re going to get a new fence.” My wife said as I went on my walk, “They really should have talked to us…” Several days passed and the workers put in treated posts and poured concrete. “Why haven’t they put up the fence?” asked my wife. I replied: “they need to allow the concrete to set.” My wife shrugged, “They’re certainly taking their time.” I grinned. “These guys are professionals; besides, they probably have a lot of other jobs.” My wife was not happy. Several more days passed and then one morning my wife grabbed my arm. “Bill, Bill you’ve got to see this. She whispered; “be careful, but look through the back patio door.” I looked out and saw a beautiful sight. A large black tailed doe was happily nibbling on my wife’s rose bushes. My wife was enthralled. In order to get a good picture, I went outside quietly. I snapped a few pictures from outside and it was evident that this animal had

fence is really ugly.” “Claudia, our neighbor built it and there is nothing more lovely than a nice free fence, I think it’s beautiful.” People say that men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and it’s true, we do see things differently. [Photo at left by Bill Eagle]

Bill Eagle loves letters and he also appreciates the comments of others. Why don’t you drop him a line at:, or make an online comment at:

Bird Watching in Woodland...

By Pat Nelson Valley Bugler Columnist On the morning of July 26, my granddaughter Chelsea Rose and I prepared to leave our house to sell my Not Your Mother’s Books at the Northwest Book Festival in Portland’s Pioneer Courthouse Square. My husband, Bob, waited in the loaded truck with canopy, table, chairs and books. Just before rushing out the door, I noticed a note taped to our front door. I pulled it off the door and started to read. The heading read, “You’ve Been Flocked.” That was a new term to me, and I didn’t know whether it was funny or obscene. It got my attention, so I read on. As soon as I read “flamingos in your yard,” I looked outside. There, in our front yard, stood 19 plastic pink flamingos. Chelsea and I burst into laughter and read the note. “Zach selected you to be FLOCKED . . . . as part of a fundraiser sponsored by the parents of the Woodland Dance Team.” We hurried to the truck to tell my

husband to look in the yard. The three of us stood, laughing, enjoying our new flock. On the way to the book festival, I read the rest of the notice aloud. “With a donation of $15, the flamingos will be removed from your yard within 24 hrs.” “Lets pay it,” said my husband. “I agree,” I replied. I continued to read. “For an additional $10 ($25 total) you can have the Woodland Dance Team FLOCK someone of your choice.” “Let’s flock Nona and Scott Perry,” said Chelsea. We were on our way to get Nona to help with our book booth. “But we can’t say a word to her about our flamingos, and that won’t be easy!” The flyer gave us another choice. “You also have the option to buy FLOCKING insurance to insure your friends or family won’t FLOCK you again! Insurance is $10 which is good through the end of this fundraiser.” Insurance? We didn’t need it. We enjoyed the flamingos so much that we didn’t care if they landed in our yard again. Chelsea and I caught ourselves nearly spilling the beans to Nona. That evening, we called and made arrangements for the flock to fly to the Perry’s home. The birds disappeared during the night, but it turns out I had given the wrong address. Luckily, there was no such address, and I corrected my error. The next night, Nona Perry and husband Scott, a Woodland city council member, were flocked. Nona left a message on my phone. “Thanks for the gift. We’re sending it to the mayor.” Before being “flocked”, I knew nothing about the Woodland Dance Team. If someone had asked me for a donation, I would probably have declined. But by letting us be part of the fun, we were happy to donate $25 and would have done it again if the flamingos had returned. Kudos to the Woodland Dance Team for holding a fundraiser that brings smiles to the donor, not just the recipient. Pat Nelson, writer and editor, is co-creator of three humorous and sometimes edgy anthologies: ‘Not Your Mother’s Book: On Being a Parent’ (available at and bookstores); On Being a Grandparent; and On Working for a Living. [All photo credit]

September 2014 • Valley Bugler • Page 19

Sept. 13th & 14th

Adorable Adoptees pretty fast. He is currently being treated for an eye infection and will probably need artificial tears the rest of his life to keep his eyes comfortable. Gimme is about 7 years old, has a spunky personality (as do most Pekes), he’s neutered, current on his vaccinations, and microchipped. Gimme would love a home where he was the only dog, but he does accept others (he would just prefer to be your “one and only”). He’s been in foster care with a cat, and that was just too tempting for him - he loved chasing it behind the furniture. He would probably get along fine with a cat, as long as the cat understood it was all in good sport.for more information about this pet, or email Rescued Paws: For questions and adoption info

‘Gimme’ The 7th annual Dogapawlooza will be Saturday, September 13th and Sunday, September 14th at the Cowlitz County Fairgrounds (1900 7th Ave.) in Longview, WA. Dogapawlooza is a benefit for the Humane Society of Cowlitz County. Dogapawlooza is to a two-day event. There’s too much fun to fit into one day! Dogapawlooza 2014 will be the biggest dog party you’ve ever seen. Whether you bring your dog or don’t. Whether you enter your dog in anything or don’t. It’s just too much fun to miss! Dogapawlooza will feature a twoday sanctioned flyball tournament with over 25 teams from all around the Northwest including British Columbia. Please checkout any flyball videos on the internet to see how much fun it is. This year Dogapawlooza has added a costume contest & fashion show. If your dog has style, check out our Project Runway for dogs. Lure Coursing has been a big hit. We sometimes have a dozen dogs lined up waiting for their turn. Watch dogs blaze around a course trying to catch a simple plastic bag tied to a rope on a motorized pulley. It’s the thrill of the chase! Try it with your own dog. The lure machine can run at different speeds to fit whatever kind of dog you have. It’s $3 for one run, or

$5 for two. Come to Dogapawlooza to learn about agility. You’ve seen dogs run and jump and weave through these obstacles on TV. Now check it out in person. Local agility expert Karin Haderly will show you how the experts do it, and help you determine if your dog has the aptitude. Attendance is FREE and Parking is FREE. There’s a $5 fee to enter the Wiener Dog Races. Any donations to the Humane Society of Cowlitz County are encouraged and more than welcome. It’s a great cause! Your donations help! Vendor booths are still available. A 10’ x 10’ space for the two days costs $100. Here’s some of the other activities at Dogapalooza Silly Dog Contests: (like longest tail, shortest ears, best trick, best kisser) Peanut Butter Eating Contest: Ball Fiend: Musical Chairs: Canine Good Citizen (CGC) Testing: Low Rider Races (bulldogs, bassets & corgis): Tiny Titans Races: Wiener Dog Races: and much more! You can also talk to rescue groups, shop the Mutt Mall (vendor booths with lots of cool doggie stuff), and eat at the Chow Time Food Court (for humans). Stay tuned to:

Gimme came to Rescued Paws from a high-kill shelter in Los Angeles, delivered by one of our wonderful rescue partners in the SoCal area. There are just too many little Pekes in L.A., and we love our Pekes in the Pacific Northwest and always find great homes for them. So Gimme migrated North, and is now interviewing for his Forever Home. Gimme is a character; has a funny little waddle about him. He kinda shuffles along, and when he gets excited those little legs can move


This is Rex and his number is #142607. He is an adorable little chi/ mix that doesn’t take long to warm up to. Loves to be held and easy to walk on a leash! Here is a friend who is young and ready for you! Come see Rex here at the Humane Society of Cowlitz County. (360)577-0151 Monday thru Friday 9am to 5pm Saturday 10am to 3:30pm

Page 20 • Valley Bugler • September 2014

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