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MAY 9, 2012



May 9, 2012


How not to waste your summer


Grad School Not for everyone.


Remember the Alamo (Drafthouse)


UWeekly Sits Down with Fresh Millions

UVA’S LUAU Page 24 Photo: Jess Pendleton

The summer bucket List How to make your summer productive Ah, summer. The season we all look forward to and dread the most. Some of us love it and some of us can’t stand it. One thing’s for sure, though: almost all of us look back at our summer in August and think how much time we wasted. Time does indeed fly, even if you’re not doing a damn thing. Lucky for you the regret remains. Yes, summer is a time for vacation, but you’ve got about three months’ worth of free time. You can sit around and watch a marathon of Dexter later. It’s time to make your summer more lucrative and memorable.


irst off, you should make a list of the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time. Maybe you really wanted to take up painting or start yoga. Add it to the list. This is your time and your opportunity to add a new skill to your belt. Prioritize by level of importance, and start fulfilling the list after an allotted relaxation time. While you start taking up some hobbies, it’s probably a good idea to look at some summer internships. Unfortunately a lot of them are things you should’ve applied for back in March or April. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t a few left out there. Internships are a great way to get your foot in the door and it looks fantastic on resumes. Of course, a lot of them aren’t paid (cheapskates) but you can’t get a job without experience.

If you couldn’t get an internship or just didn’t have the time to deal with it, you can always take up learning a new skill. Try learning another language. Three months’ time will give you at least a basic understanding of a language. You can brag in your next interview about how you spent your summer learning a new language instead of slacking off like most people.

take the time and effort you can learn how to code too. Sometimes it’s not the degree that impresses employers, it’s the quality of work. Learning the basics of HTML and CSS could help you in more ways than you think. If you learn coding, you can eventually build your own website and use it as a portfolio. I’m

You can brag in your next interview about how you spent your summer learning a new language instead of slacking off like most people. Maybe you’re not down to learn Spanish or French or German. You could always begin an independent study of something that’s not in your field. Computer programmers and web developers are huge right now, and if you

not saying you could make a super-professionallooking website in a matter of three months, but you can have a basic site up for picky employers who demand online portfolios. For a really professional-looking website,

just google how to create your own website and you’ll see thousands of websites that can help you out. Make sure to review them first, though, so that way your portfolio doesn’t look like a high schooler’s Myspace. Summer can be incredibly hot, but it’s a perfect opportunity for traveling, too. Use this time to expand your mind and your capabilities. Maybe that knitting class may come in handy later when you see an opening on a website for a marketing consultant. Don’t rule out things just because they seem like they can’t relate to your field of study. It can help you in more ways than you think. The more well-rounded you are, the more attractive you seem to employers. Celine Suarez




@ EMO’S 8



May 9, 2012 |


Storage options for students Storage alternatives to avoid packaging nuisances

Congratulations. You’re almost done with finals. The long hours of studying and wiring your body to energy shots filled with the constant drudgery of having to cover a semester’s worth of information is almost over. And sadly when all you want to do is sleep, you still have to pack and organize all your belongings and cram them in numerous boxes to haul out of your dorm room into your car. Sounds time-consuming and boring, right? Well, even when you still have to move everything out of your dorm, you can possibly avoid a few other things: the cramped up space in your car while traveling, the hours of unpacking your things once you arrive home and the repacking of everything once fall approaches. Fortunately, UWeekly has a few storage solutions to avoid some packaging nuisances.

Your Storage Solution

car into the storage unit, so your parents and wallet will be happy with your financially conscious decisions. If interested, call 512213-4262 for available options.

Located on North Lamar, Your Storage Solution offers numerous storage units ranging from 5x5 to 10x30 depending on how much of a rat-packer you are and how much money you’re willing to spend. It’s your typical storage option but a fair deal nonetheless. The pricing is $40 a month for 5x5 but offers a 10% discount and an incentive of a first free month of storage, leaving you to pay for the two extra months. The attentive and courteous staff will also assist you in unloading your items from your

CollegeBoxes CollegeBoxes is an easy storage alternative available for any student at UT. It’s free to create an account and the movers come to your dorm to pick up all your items so you don’t have to break a sweat moving anything. However, the only free pickup date available is the 14th on Monday from

10 AM to 2 PM. Any other special pickup dates and delivery dates must be scheduled for an additional fee. Unfortunately, you may also have to find some boxes because it takes up to 2-3 weeks for the supply kit to arrive. If you’re living off campus next year, they also offer off-campus delivery, but only for boxes, so if you have any furniture or appliances, you will be charged for UPS shipping charges. If interested, visit or call 866.BOX.IT.UP.

for free. Just make sure to register soon because it takes up to five business days for the supply kits to reach UT. And don’t worry if you plan to move off campus for next year; they will deliver your boxes to your new place. Make sure to sign up soon at because pickup and delivery dates sell out fast. Alex Ramirez

DormRoomMovers If you want to avoid all those unnecessary fees CollegeBoxes charges, DormRoomMovers is your best solution. All you have to do is pack your items and they do the rest. It costs $39 to register and they ship you 5 boxes, tape and a complementary booklet of packing tips. Once you’re done packing, just sit back and relax while they pick up, store and deliver your belongings

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Could you really handle more finals? Grad school may not be the answer Congratulations. You’ve made it to your graduation after all of your hard work. It starts to sound like a sorry tune after a while, but you can’t get enough of it. It’s been the day that you’ve been looking forward to and/or completely dreading. You’re stepping into a big new world of opportunities, but somehow you feel like you’ll miss that routine of school. Should you go to grad school? Is it even worth your time? Most of us have the choice of being able to return to school, but the question lies in whether or not you’d sincerely think it’s a good idea. An elderly professor once spoke to my class about how grad school is something you should really want to do, otherwise you’ll end up hating it. Although he may have been trying to scare us, he did bring up a good point. Grad school isn’t for everyone and should really be thought through. I know it may seem like the easier decision to make when deciding on your future endeavors, but it’s not meant to be your next step if you’ve got nothing else to do.

across opportunities on the way. Taking in new cultures can make you a more well-rounded person and it looks great on a resume. It’s not often that you’ll get the chance to travel without obligations like a career. Try not to think of grad school as something that you can use to put off planning for your career. At that point you’re just prolonging the inevitable. Not only will you have a Master’s degree, but way more debt than you had when you started. Back to square one. If you think that grad school will help your career in the long run, then go for it. You’ve got to have that passion for learning that you had when you first discovered your major. If

Networking with professors could give you a huge boost in finding a career, but then again it all depends on what field you’re in. Letters of recommendation will always be a huge help, so be extra nice to those professors that already liked you. You’ll need those letters to get into the school you want. Don’t just go to the closest grad school either, do some research and see what’s financially and academically viable. The best school for you may be in Iowa, but it may cost you a little too much to move up there. Take advantage of the friends you’ve got living around the country, a nice visit could show you what kind of town you could be living in. You don’t want

Most of us have the choice of being able to return to school, but the question lies in whether or not you’d sincerely think it’s a good idea. Grad school is much more work than college and requires a lot more time and patience from the student. If you have to end up being a TA, would you really be ready to handle a bunch of kids straight from high school graduation? It may be a fun new experience for you, but you can also do many other things in those two years that you would’ve spent in grad school. I know this depends on your major, but going out and seeing the world can be a much better option and you can stumble


May 9, 2012 |

you never really cared about your major and did it just to do it, then the extra work you’ll be putting in won’t be as rewarding. With grad school, you’ve got the potential to learn something completely different in your field. Building towards your thesis is like one long research paper, but this is something you cannot put off. It’s a continuous process but you’ll get the chance to network with some great professors and other like-minded colleagues.

to end up in a town with zero places to go to. Grad school can be a great opportunity if you really work for it. You get to meet great new people, further your studies, and start to become a true scholar. Even if you want to go to grad school but feel burnt out, you can always wait a year or two. The GRE will be a little more difficult as time goes by, but you can see what it’s like to have a free schedule without school. It’s a lot weirder than you think. Celine Suarez

Good Deeds Publisher Michael Huereque Account Executives Nick Lorges Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie Sports Writers Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Circulation Jeremy Tooker CONTACT PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC ABOUT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

Two for the road Children or animals? Summer’s here and I bet you all are ready to burn all the books you couldn’t sell back to the university bookstore. Although this is a notoriously hectic time of year what with finals and moving out of dorms and back into your parent’s basement, it’s still no time to forget about giving back to others and getting involved in things you care about. That’s why UWeekly has decided to give you an option (that way you don’t feel so forced into altruism) of charity events to chose from. So before you pack it all up and hit the road, check out at least one of these two great events coming up.

Party at Parkside Down Syndrome Association of Central Texas Is it just me or are more and more kids these days being born with devastating diagnoses like autism and Down syndrome? It also seems like more people are suffering from illnesses like cancer and tumors than ever before. While the causes of these illnesses might never be truly revealed (mainly because the government doesn’t want you to know that they’re secretly poisoning you), they still affect the lives of untold millions worldwide. Even if you don’t currently know any child with Down syndrome, at a startling rate of 1 in 691 babies born with the disorder, chances are you will in your lifetime. This event isn’t just for those who care for children, it’s also for the parents and community members that care of those with autism. As anyone who’s ever taken care of an ill family member knows, to take care of another is incredibly taxing, both physically and financially. That’s why the Down Syndrome Association of Central Texas provides help and services both to the diagnosed and their

caretakers. So come and help those who help others at this upscale benefit. May 10, 7 PM, 301 East Sixth St, $75

Free Love Emancipet Luncheon Admit it: dogs are (hu)man’s best friend for a reason. Even if you’re a cat person, you can still appreciate the qualities inherent in a dog. They’re friendly and loyal. They’re always there and they love you unconditionally. If

What’s worse is the absolutely mindboggling practice of killing dogs at shelters. Thank goodness for organizations such as Emancipet, who offer free or low-cost spaying and neutering operations in order to help keep dog and cat populations low, thus lowering the number of animals that end up in shelters, on the streets or euthanized. In order to celebrate their 13 years of service to the Austin community, they’re holding a “free love” luncheon and all are invited! It will be sponsored by H-E-B and will be held at the Four Seasons Hotel. How bourgeois!

“Before you pack it all up and hit the road, check out at least one of these two great events coming up.” only we can be as caring towards ourselves and others as dogs are to us. That’s why it’s such a travesty that some people abandon dogs, abuse them and throw them out like yesterday’s garbage. | May 9, 2012

So if you’re interested in attending, simply contact Asha Thune at asha.thune@ for more information. May 14, 11:30 AM-1 PM, Four Seasons Hotel Amanda Chappel | May 9, 2012


Events on or around campus

Thursday, May 10

Women’s Golf

NCAA East Regional Championship, State College, PA, All Day

Friday, May 11

Women’s Tennis Nebraska or North Texas (NCAA Championship second round), Austin, TX, 1 PM

Women’s Tennis

Women’s Track

Nebraska vs. North Texas (NCAA Championship first round), Austin, TX, 10 AM

Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA

Women’s Tennis

Conference USA Championship, Oak Ridge, TN (Lake Melton), All Day

Wichita State (NCAA Championship first round), Austin, TX, 1 PM

Women’s Track

Women’s Rowing

Women’s Golf

Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA

NCAA East Regional Championship, State College, PA, All Day

Women’s Golf

Men’s Track

NCAA East Regional Championship, State College, PA, All Day

Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA

Men’s Track


Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA

Baylor, Austin, TX, 1 PM

Saturday, May 12

Men’s Tennis

Texas Southern, Austin, TX, 1 PM

Stanford or Sacramento State (NCAA Championship second round), Stanford, CA, 2 PM


Men’s Track

Texas Southern, Austin, TX, 3:30 PM

Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA

Men’s Tennis

Women’s Track

Santa Clara (NCAA Championship first round), Stanford, CA, 11 AM

Big 12 Outdoor Championships, Manhattan, KS, TBA


Sunday, May 13

Fatty, fatty, two by four

Brian Bogart



May 15 Wouldn’t it be nice to eat as much as you want and not gain any weight? Well, the people over at Bites of Wellness are offering a “lunch-andlearn” series about eating out without gaining weight. While it might seem easier said than done, guest speaker Gayle Timmerman will present key strategies and techniques to keep in mind when you’re ordering drinks, appetizers, entrees and dessert. Yum! AT&T Education and Conference Center, The Carillon (Private Dining Room 1), 12-1 PM

The social network May 16 As Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have taught us over the years, networking is much more than just “liking” someone’s status. In fact, networking is a very useful skill to have when trying to make it in this tough economy, or any economy. Unlike what most people believe, networking isn’t about using other people for your own selfish gains, it’s about connecting with people whom you can help and whom can help you. If you’d like to learn how to take your networking skills to the next level, this one’s for you. Flawn Academic Center (FAC) 328, 12-1 PM, $5

Lavender Graduation May 16 Calling all UT homos! If you’re graduating this


May 9, 2012 |

year and have a roving eye for persons of your same gender, you’re eligible to partake in this special and unique event celebrating the accomplishments of UT’s queer community. Graduates from May, August and December are all honored at this program. To learn more about how to participate in the Lavender Graduation ceremony, contact Elizabeth A Elsen at 512.232.1907 Student Activity Center (SAC) 4-7 PM

LGBT alumni reception May 16 Calling all graduated UT homos! The Texas Exes LGBTQ network is now welcoming back UT alumni and friends to a nice reception following the UT Lavender Graduation. This is a great way to mingle with your fellow alumni and show the ropes to some of the younger kids. Remember, in the gay community, fellowship is key. So don’t forget to RSVP by May 11 with Ryan Miller at 512.471.7295 Etter-Harbin Alumni Center (UTX) Legends Room, 5:30-7 PM

Last call May 17 Third Thursday’s back for one last and final opportunity to sweat it out yoga-style at the Blanton. Even if you’re not into yoga, you can always join in the book club or tour the museum. Blanton Museum of Art, 5-9 PM AMANDA CHAPPEL

Air It Out

CISPA is the biggest troll of the internet What you should know about the bill We all remember the horror of SOPA. Then there was ACTA. Now we have to deal with the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act (CISPA). It wasn’t too long ago that we barely won the fight against SOPA, but the sneaky bastards in Congress set up another bill to censor the internet. CISPA wasn’t very publicized, and now it has been passed by the House of Representatives. All of a sudden people are wondering what the hell CISPA is. I’ll tell you, it’s definitely a lot worse than any other bill that censors the internet. What you need to know is that CISPA allows the government to obtain information from websites that they deem cyberthreats. That doesn’t sound so bad right? Well imagine if they consider Facebook a cyber threat. Your private data and information will be browsed by the government for security purposes. What’s worse is that you won’t have the right to know what type of information they are collecting. Addresses, phone

numbers and credit cards are fair game. Say goodbye to freedom of speech, because once you are considered a cyber threat, they will monitor you continuously. CISPA defines a cyber threat as anything that makes an “effort to degrade, disrupt, or destroy” networks. It’s meant to destroy privacy—ahem, piracy altogether. It’s a damn shame that Congress is more concerned about taking care of bigger corporations than creating jobs for the unemployed. This bill rewards companies for sharing information with the government. It’s sickening, and companies like Facebook and Verizon are actually supporting the bill. Over 800 companies are in favor and only a few have backed out of their support (like Microsoft). President Obama said he’d veto the bill if it ever got that far along, but with the power of the Senate and the House, it may be too late. Contact your Senator and demand that he or she vote against CISPA. Celine Suarez

Addresses, phone numbers, and credit cards are fair game. | May 9, 2012


Photo: Akira Kouchiyama

Shooting the shit

How does Floyd Mayweather’s win over Miguel Cotto affect his status as an all-time great? -Liliana Llamas So glad you asked, Liliana, because as a dedicated boxing fan myself, I hardly ever get to write about the sweet science in print form given boxing’s lack of popularity in the mainstream, but this past weekend was different. This past weekend saw Floyd Mayweather and Miguel Cotto square off in what was the best fight in boxing, five years ago. OK, so maybe this fight was a bit past due since everyone from Gotham to Frisco Bay has been clamoring for a Pacquiao bout

people wanted to see from Floyd Mayweather before he called it a career, and while a matchup with Manny Pacquiao is at the top of that list, proving his ability to gut out a win was among them. Never in Mayweather’s 43 professional fights has he ever truly been in trouble or even really tested all that much. That certainly changed when Cotto, a 6-1 underdog in some estimations, took the fight to Floyd and put on one of the more impressive performances of his career given who he was

In boxing, we like our all-time-greats to have this little thing called “cajones,” and Mayweather did everything in that fight to prove just how “grande” his were. and nothing else, but just a few years ago, this was the fight to be made in boxing. Although it lost a little bit of its luster, the fight proved to have all the elements we would have possibly wanted out of it sans the extreme delay. For starters, there were still some things


May 9, 2012 |

fighting. The same can be said for Mayweather as well, who displayed a tremendous heart in standing toe-to-toe with the Puerto Rican star for the first eight to nine rounds only to catch a second wind and dominate the fight down the stretch. In boxing, we like our all-time-greats

May 9, 2012 |

to have this little thing called “cajones,” and Mayweather did everything in that fight to prove just how “grande” his were. The win was also that much more impressive when you consider who the opponent was. After all, Cotto is no slouch as he has a pretty good chance of getting into the hall of fame when it’s all said and done, although some have been quick to write him off ever since he suffered his first two career losses (one of which got avenged in brutal fashion). Against Mayweather, however, Cotto proved that he’s still passionate about the sport of boxing and is still among the sport’s elite around

154 pounds. Does the win do enough to launch Mayweather past Pacquiao in the eyes of boxing’s current pound-for-pound list? I’m sure to many it will seem that way, but before Mayweather’s legacy can totally be sealed as one of the true all-time elite he still has some unfinished business and it comes in the form of a 5’6’’ Filipino congressman. Even if the fight never gets made, however, Mayweather still gets heavy consideration for greatest fighter of this era and, in truth, his mastery in the ring has supported every shred of evidence to that claim. Brian Bogart

Rollin’ the dice The final stretch

of the 2012 NBA season As we enter the second round of the NBA tournament, there are still many questions left surrounding this year’s basketball season. The sad part, however, is that UWeekly won’t be here to share those moments as this is our last issue for the semester. So instead we did the ballsy thing and full-on predicted what the championship rounds of the playoffs are going to look like. Your favorite team not on here? Well that’s too bad because chances are they just didn’t make the cut in UWeekly’s farewell to the NBA. It’s been fun, guys; either way we’ll see you again next year. Enjoy.

Western Conference Finals: San Antonio Spurs vs. Oklahoma City Thunder Age before beauty? Hell, it just might happen. While the Thunder currently occupy the media’s special spot for teams they consider “sexy,” the Spurs are just chugging away, stringing together double-digit winning streaks by an average margin of victory of about 18 points. Um, hello? Why do people keep underestimating the Spurs? This definitely isn’t last year’s crotchety squad that got manhandled by Memphis. If anything, this Spurs team has been a revival of what made the Tim Duncan/Gregg Popovich era so great, and now that Tony Parker has been playing like an MVP essentially the entire season, what’s not to like about San Antonio? On the other side of the coin, however, are those sexy sons of bitches in OKC. If there was still any doubt that the Thunder didn’t quite have what it took to defeat a truly veteran team, those doubts were quickly erased when the Thunder completely dismantled the defending champs, the Dallas Mavericks. Doesn’t get much more veteran than that. At the end of the day, though, I think I’d have to roll with the Spurs in this series because, and I know I’ve said this before, I truly feel this is their last real chance to win a ring with the Big Three altogether before Timmy D retires. The Thunder will get theirs, and they’ll get it soon, but I’m going to have to ride with the Quiet Dynasty for one last rodeo.

playoffs thus far. With so many of the top teams in the region having a defense-first mentality and with the number of the stars going through a proverbial revolving door of injuries, suspensions and firehydrant punching, the East just hasn’t been as fun thus far. I don’t care that y’all have LeBron. Assuming the C’s meet the Heat, however, that should change as everyone watching would be in for one hell of a chippy series because, shockingly, these two teams don’t seem to get along. Who could forget LeBron’s emotional release at center court when the Heat exorcised those pesky Celtic demons that possessed them by beating them in the playoffs? While the Celtics have continued to have luck against Miami throughout the regular season, the Heat seem to flip a switch (imagine that) whenever playoff time rolls around. But just how good are these Celtics? Because all season long I don’t think we ever got a straight answer, and seeing how they could be horrible against the Hawks one night but absolutely dominant the next, I still don’t even think they know exactly who they are as a team. Even if the Heat have struggled with some spurts of inconsistency throughout the season, they have the athleticism to make up for whenever they do struggle, and at this very moment in the season, I feel they just have a little more left in the tank. I say the Heat take it in either six or seven, as they will always have their problems with the Celtics, no matter what the stakes are.

Eastern Conference Finals: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics

NBA Finals: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs

Let’s face it: The East has not made for exciting

It’s the rematch again, part two. Yes, even


May 9, 2012 |

though last year’s NBA Finals was a rematch of the 2006 playoffs that saw Dwayne Wade win his first ring at Dirk Nowitzki’s expense, Spurs/ Heat would be a classic rematch for LeBron James, who got swept by San Antonio back when he was with the Cavaliers in the 2007 Finals. Now LeBron’s a wee bit older, wiser and with a completely different team. The Spurs are still the Spurs. So how can we possibly predict this potential match-up of basketball powers? We can’t! It’s a damn tough series to predict because literally anything can happen. After watching the Heat lose to the Mavs last year, it’s hard to pick them over a veteran team, and for my money, the Spurs are the veteran team in the NBA as far as I’m concerned. Now, for the Spurs, it’s a matter of how their Big Three will fare against Miami’s Big Three (really, Big Two) and how much their bench can contribute when it’s all said and done. Even though the importance of a deep bench is usually minimized in a playoff setting, that’s just not who the Spurs are. They rely heavily on their depth, and Gregg Popovich is not going to make Tim Duncan play a full 48 minutes simply because he’s the team’s superstar. The way I see it, the Spurs have it in them to outsmart the Heat in a fashion similar to the Mavericks, but the main question will be will they have enough physically to execute what they know in their minds they must do to win? My answer is yes, in seven games. Brian Bogart

got a terrific matchup on Saturday when Floyd Mayweather and Miguel Cotto squared off for the welterweight crown. Throughout his entire career, Floyd has excelled in not only winning all of his fights, but by hardly losing any rounds in the process. That all changed when Cotto put “Pretty Boy Floyd”

If there was ever a team that made me nervous in the playoffs, it’s Kobe Bryant’s Lakers.




I mean I know a lot of people had the Thunder beating the Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs, but who honestly expected Oklahoma City to also sweep the defending champions? I’ll be honest and say not this writer, as I thought the Thunder had them in six. Now with a pending date with the Lakers on the horizon, the Thunder will have all the momentum in the world as they continue their quest for their first

Baron Davis’ dislocated knee cap, Caron Butler’s broken hand and, oh yeah, there was also the ACL tear of a fellow by the name of Derrick Rose. Injuries suck, but as anyone will tell you, they’re just a part of the game. But mostly they suck.

championship. Don’t count out the Lakers, though; if there was ever a team that made me nervous in the playoffs, it’s Kobe Bryant’s Lakers. Just sayin’. Sure, the fight may have been about five years overdue, and sure no one really seems to care about boxing anymore unless the fight that’s being made is Floyd MayweatherManny Pacquiao. Boxing purists, however,

through what appeared to be the first real fight of his life. All through his career, people have wanted to see Floyd, at least just once, truly gut out a win and win in a way that was uncomfortable for him. Well, now we know, and as far as I’m concerned, Floyd Mayweather continues to sit comfortably on the upper echelon among boxing’s all-time elite. That is not a declaration I make lightly. Casualties so far at the expense of the playoff gods: Iman Shumpert’s ACL tear, | May 9, 2012

Just around 15 weeks left until football season starts. Can you feel the tension? I know I can.

Speaking of college football, are we witnessing the death of the BCS before our very eyes as things appear to be geared more and more towards an NCAA playoff system? I’ve been declaring the death of the BCS for the last couple years now, but these days it looks like it might actually be coming sooner than we think. So the Nationals are currently one of the top teams in baseball, you say? I think I just felt the ground below me get real chilly all of a sudden. And what’s that fat thing doing flying across the sky? Brian Bogart | May 9, 2012


Photo: UFC

Diaz and Hendricks earn title shots at UFC on FOX 3 The UFC’s return to FOX set up the organization’s next title challengers in both the lightweight and welterweight divisions, as the company continues an attempt to build pay-per-view stars through network TV. Lightweight Nate Diaz won for the third consecutive time, becoming the first fighter to stop Jim Miller and the process, as the younger Diaz stepped out of the shadow of his popular older brother Nick with a second round submission in the night’s main event in New Jersey. Diaz will now take on the winner of the rematch between lightweight champion Benson Henderson and former champion Frankie Edgar, which will take place in early August. At welter weight, former four-time NCAA All-American wrestler Johny Hendrick s became the top contender for the 170 -pound title with a split decision win over Josh Koscheck. The back-andfor th bout made Hendrick s a clear No. 1 contender at 170 pounds, but he’ll have to wait until the muddied title picture is cleared up a little before he gets his title shot. First, champion Georges StPierre will have to return from injur y to defend his title against interim champion Carlos Condit, and that f ight likely won’t happen until at least October. Still, Hendrick s said he is willing to wait for what will be the biggest f ight of his career. Middleweight Alan Belcher also inched closer to a title shot with his first round TKO win over dangerous submission specialist Rousimar Palhares, although a title shot is not guaranteed for him. More likely, he’ll have to take at least one more fight in order to stand out in what has become one of the organization’s deepest divisions with the inclusion of former Bellator champion Hector Lombard and

with fighters like Michael Bisping, Brian Stann, and Mark Munoz knocking on the door for a title shot. Heav yweight Lavar Johnson was also victorious on the night ’s main card, as he secured a first round TKO over veteran fan favorite Pat Barry. On a preliminary card filled with veterans

season last Friday, and the home stretch in the organization’s six season got underway with lightweight champion Michael Chandler’s first fight since taking the title from Eddie Alvarez last November. Chandler took on veteran fighter Akihiro Gono in a non-title “super fight,” and Chandler passed the test with flying colors, as he dominated Gono in a first round TKO, sending the Japanese legend into retirement in the process. Chandler will now take on the winner of the season six lightweight tournament, and the final between Brent Weedman and Rick Hawn is set for later this month. Welterweight Bryan Baker moved one step closer to his second Bellator title shot, as he picked up a unanimous decision over UFC veteran Ben Saunders in the night ’s only tournament action. He’ll now take on the winner of the other tournament semifinal between Karl Amoussou and David Rickels for a shot at undefeated welterweight champion Ben Askren in the fall. David McKinney

Heavyweight Lavar Johnson was also victorious on the night’s main card, as he secured a first round TKO over veteran fan favorite Pat Barry.


May 9, 2012 |

of “The Ultimate Fighter,” five of them were victorious: lightweight Michael Johnson, flyweights John Dodson and Louis Gaudinot, featherweight Dennis Bermudez, and bantamweight Roland Delorme. Other preliminary winners were John Hathaway, Danny Castillo, and Karlos Vemola. Endof-night bonuses of $65,000 went to Lavar Johnson (knockout of the night), Nate Diaz (submission of the night), and Louis Gaudinot and John Lineker (fight of the night). Bellator returned to its regular Friday night after the only break of its 12-week





“The Whiskey’s on Ice and the Music’s on Fire”


Now that the Spring semester has come to an end and students can finally catch up on all that necessary sleep after finals, it’s time for summer vacation. Unless you’re taking summer school, then that’s a bummer. However, unless you’re one of those college kids that heads back to your hometown to visit family, here’s a list of festivals happening in Austin for those that decide to stay behind.

Pachanga Latino Music Festival May 11 and 12, Fiesta Gardens Celebrating all things Latino in music, food and cultural arts, Pachanga is back at Fiesta Gardens bringing this year’s Grammy-winning Calle 13 from Puerto Rico, La Santa Cecila from Los Angeles and Girl in a Coma as well as local acts such as Peligrosa and Brownout. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Also performing are local favorites Maneja Beto and Tejano veterans Ruben Ramos and the Mexican Revolution. Get ready to party.

School’s Out Forever Rockaway Beach Party May 19 and 20, Spiderhouse Speaking of parties, this party fills over 50 bands including Shakey Graves, The Boxing Lesson and A Giant Dog on four stages surrounding the “Best Patio in Town,” Spiderhouse. Also celebrating the birthday of Joey Ramone are The Converse All-Stars and Crooked Bangs who will cover all of the favorite Ramones tunes on the Rockaway Beach Stage. And when you need to cool down from all the excitement and heat, there’s always the Spiderhouse swimming pool.

Kerrville Folk Festival May 24-June 10 The iconic annual get-together showcases

not only the best folk music around, but it ’s also a hotbed of ar tisans, vendors and cook s. Don’t let the name fool you, as there will be rock , blues, countr y and jaz z there to soothe your ear drums. Showcasing more than 1500 singer-songwriters over the years, some of the greatest musicians in the world have graced the stages of the Kerr ville Folk Festival, including Willie Nelson, Lyle Lovett, Mar y Chapin Carpenter and Rober t Earl Keen, to name a few. Oh, this festival also goes on for two week s, so make it out when you can.

Revival Festival May 26, Seventh Street and Trinity Avenue It ’s the f if th annual Revival Festival featuring rockabilly and Americana. This year ’s headliner is the Reverend Hor ton Heat, which is endearing, because Revival Festival executive producer and founder Orlando Rios stated on the website that the band was the f irst band he thought of when he formed the idea for the festival. O ther bands on the lineup include Three Bad Jack s, Nek romantix and Holy Moly! Those that enjoy the Smiths might enjoy Rios’ tribute band, The Smites, also per forming at the festival.

Chaos in Tejas May 31 through June 3, various venues in Austin It may be cliche to say, but this festival is not for the faint of the heart. No, seriously. This festival features a collection of bands in hardcore, punk rock, metal and anything else that induces mosh pits filled with sweat and testosterone. So if any of that scares you, you should probably stay home or head to some of the shows that feature synth pop rock bands such as Sphynx and Fresh Millions or bounce what your mama gave ya with “Queen Diva” Big Freedia. Though, whichever way you partake in this festival during the Texas summer will leave you sweaty no matter what.

this will be the first year for the ATX Television Festival. Kind of in the same vein of the Austin Film Festival, the weekend will feature panels on industry-related topics, Q&As with TV shows’ cast and creators and, of course, screenings on classic TV shows, never-beforeseen episodes and new series premieres. Kicking off the festival will be a night of USA Network’s original series Suits and Royal Pains with appearances from the cast of both shows. Special guests also include a reunion with the cast of Friday Night Lights.

Free Press Summerfest June 2 and 3, Houston, Texas If you’re up for a road trip, this music festival in Houston has a pretty good and diverse line up with headliners including Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson. Not to mention Flaming Lips, Descendents, Primus and Erykah Badu. Something for everyone.

ATX Television Festival June 1 through 3, various venues in Austin area The city already celebrates film and music through various festivals throughout the year, so why not television? After all, several of Austin’s popular fixtures have been featured in movies and TV shows such as Robert Rodriguez’s Machete and the TV show that tugged everyone’s heartstrings, Friday Night Lights. Founded by Caitlin McFarland and Emily Gibson (both worked in the industry),

Blues on the Green June 8-August 17 Every other Wednesday @ 7:30 PM Blues on the Green is a great way to get outside, get together with friends and enjoy a big concert experience without the commitment of purchasing a big concert

ticket. Put on each year by KGSR, it ’s also a lot more laid back, relaxing and dog-friendly than other concerts and festivals that roll through Austin.

Keep Austin Weird 5K Festival June 23 Festival @ 2PM, 5K @ 7PM Combining two things that Austin does best, music and marathons, the Keep Austin Weird 5K is sure to satisfy. But why? Why combine music and running? Because it’s weird, that’s why! While other festivals come to town and bleed Austin and her citizens dry, this fest is meant to breathe life back into the city and celebrate what makes her unique. Think of it as the ultimate celebration of Austin’s essence.

Up in the air: Leslie Fest June 24 There’s been a lot of talk about a “Leslie Fest” on June 24 to honor Austin’s favorite fallen homeless transvestite Leslie Cochran. As of now, there’s a lot of speculation as to whether this will actually

materialize. Not to sound crude or judgmental, but since this is a festival organized by many of Leslie’s other homeless friends, I wouldn’t be surprised if it just doesn’t come together. But here’s

Why combine music and running? Because it’s weird, that’s why! to hoping that it does!

Quesoff 2012

July 21, The Mohawk Ok, so this isn’t really a festival, but we’re in Texas. Who doesn’t like queso? The three defending champions from the first Quesoff last year, Frank, Thomas Lombardi and April Henshaw and Allison Morgan will return to defend their titles in their respective category: meaty, veggie or spicy. Those wanting to throw their queso into the ring should email their interest at Otherwise, show up and get cheesy. Yes, I went there.

Austin Ice Cream Festival August 4 W h o co u l d t h i n k o f a b e t te r f e s t i v a l f o r t h o s e l o n g , h o t su m m e r d ay s i n Te x a s? N o t o n l y d o yo u g e t to e a t i ce c r e a m u nt i l yo u p o p, yo u g e t to d o s o k n ow i n g t h a t p a r t o f yo u r f e s t i v a l e nt r y f e e w i l l h e l p s o m e o f Au s t i n’s m o s t b e l ove d c h a r i t i e s i n c l u d i n g t h e Au s t i n Ch i l d r e n’s S h e l te r a n d B i g B r o t h e r s B i g Si s te r s . Fe e l f r e e to b r i n g yo u r d o g , to o.

Bat Fest August 25 Although you can see the bats any night of the week as the sun sets over the South Congress bridge, it’s so much better to see it in festival form. As with any festival, there will be music, food, dancing and bat-themed activities. Oh, there will also be a costume contest, so put on your best Batman garb. Sarah Vasquez & Amanda Chappel | May 9, 2012


remember The Alamo Drafthouse When you think of keeping Austin weird, you might also think of keeping Austin local. When you think of keeping Austin local, there might be a few key businesses and venues that come to mind as unequivocally Austin. If you previously thought the Alamo Drafthouse was one of them, you’re wrong. The Alamo Drafthouse at South Lamar owns the entire complex that surrounds it, including Heart of Texas Music, South Austin Gym and many others. As the landlord of the complex, it has the power to do what it wants, when it wants. Apparently, it wants condos. The tenants of the complex have until the end of July to vacate the premises and relocate their businesses, some of which, like Whole Spirit Books, have been there for 30 years. Why the rush? It seems that the Alamo Drafthouse has struck a deal with some developers and plans on constructing high-rise condos in place of the locally owned and operated businesses that have kept Austin unique for so many years.

What compounds the issue is the location. Along with “So Co,” South Lamar is considered a pivotal street contributing to the local flavor of Austin. When visitors come, they often visit this stretch of road in order to figure out what’s happening and to be a part of the local culture. A few years ago South Congress Avenue was given the face-lift similar to the one South Lamar will be getting. Gone are the small mom and pop businesses of So Co. With new high-

Photo: Julie Patterson

Nowhere near the franchise that is McDonald’s or Whataburger, there’s still a sense of betrayal by this business that was born and raised in Austin. As a local business keeping it weird, we as fellow Austinites expected the big wigs to know their customers and their demographic. Perhaps we expected too much. The fact that the majority of Austinites don’t want any more high-rise condos, the fact that the majority of Austinites do want to keep it local and to keep Austin from growing too big too fast are of no concern to the Leagues. Maybe they don’t care. Maybe they’re just concerned with making more money, as their business has clearly expanded beyond film and cinema. Who knows? But one thing’s certain: Austin ain’t what it used to be. We can now only hope it will be better than before. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the architecturally hideous building that houses Alamo’s latest location on Slaughter Lane. In a town full of techies, design junkies and other artists, I’m sure I’m not the only one that thinks the Drafthouse could have come up with a better design for their latest complex. Amanda Chappel

Gone are the small mom and pop businesses of So Co. With new high-rise condos moving in, we can only expect more of the same for “So La.”


May 9, 2012 |

rise condos moving in, we can only expect more of the same for “So La.” But is Alamo Drafthouse really to blame? If one takes a closer look, or follows the money trail, one can clearly see that the Alamo isn’t as local as it appears to be. Although it was founded in 1997 by Tim and Karrie League here in the capital of the Lone Star state, it is still a cinema chain that’s spread all over the country. | May 9, 2012

How to handle rejection It happens to us all

It doesn’t matter who we are attracted to, as long as we’re in the dating game, we all have to deal with rejections. Even if you are in a relationship, the issue of rejection and abandonment can still come up. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, rejection still hurts, but the way you deal with rejection can really shape the way you view yourself and others. It is also a tell-tale sign of what kind of a person you are. Unfortunately, some of us experience it more than others, even though it’s a universal experience. So that’s why it’s important to know how to deal with rejection when it happens and to hopefully stop it from happening again.

How to deal Turning inward

It’s natural to want to shut down and shut All that matters is how we use the outside other people off when you’ve initially world to soothe and heal us. Riddle me this: experienced hurt and rejection. What’s Is it healthier to turn to drugs, booze or worse is rejection often goes hand-in-hand other self-destructive tendencies to make with humiliation. So, at the end of the day, you feel better, or is it healthier to turn to you might have a few wounds to lick when friends, family, exercise or even therapy to trying to brush off a bad dating experience. help move past your present block? I think But there’s a difference between taking you know the answer to this question. time out for yourself and self-isolating. When emerging from your shell to rejoin It’s also very important to analyze the the world of the living, you must always quality of care you give yourself. Do ask yourself if your actions are healthy you talk down to yourself? Do you beat or unhealthy. Most of your activities fall yourself up for things gone wrong? Do into either category. When turning to the you blame yourself? Do you harbor anger, material world for comfort, make sure that hatred or jealousy in your heart? Turning when you ask yourself this question, you inward is perfectly healthy and natural, feel good about the answer. just make sure that when you do, you’re It’s not them, treating yourself with kindness it’s you and respect. Just because Once we’ve moved someone else doesn’t want “The way you past the phases of to be with you doesn’t turning inward, mean that you shouldn’t deal with rejection then outward, continue loving and honoring yourself. can really shape the way it’s then time to refocus, recoup you view yourself and Turning outward and regroup. It’s It’s completely healthy usually at this point others.” to turn towards others that we can analyze for comfort and support our actions and our whenever we’ve been wounded. role in the situation with


May 9, 2012 |

objectivity and clarity. Learn to take responsibility for your part in this whole “rejection” mess. How did you handle yourself? Did you encourage this by ignoring red flags, deceiving yourself or others? Did you lower your standards or compromise your beliefs in any way? Now is the time to be perfectly honest with yourself if you haven’t already. It’s also a great time to analyze any dating or behavior patterns you have that lead to you feeling rejected. Do you go after the same type of person just to be met with the same fate? Did you go after someone who’s all wrong for you? Notice how you invited this situation into your life and make changes accordingly. But be patient, often times removing a bad pattern takes time and trial and error. Don’t be hard on yourself and take it easy. And always remember that rejection is a two way street. Although it sucks being dumped or blown off, just remember you’ve done it to others. Every person old enough to read this article has had the opportunity to reject someone they weren’t interested in, and they might not ever know how badly they’ve hurt others as a result. Amanda Chappel

celine suarez

IDLC Pack for Skyrim Coming Soon Just when you thought your favorite game couldn’t get any better, Bethesda (creators of Skyrim) announced that downloadable content will be available this summer. The DLC pack will be called Dawnguard, and from the looks of the poster, it looks like something very sinister is coming our way. Of course everything is very hush hush, but more will be announced at this year’s E3 in June. Hopefully it’s more than just weapons and loot (we’re all secret hoarders). I’m also curious as to how this will interact with the Kinect features. I admit that I haven’t tried the Kinect voice commands for Skyrim but why bother? Anyone with a Kinect can tell you that face recognition is shit and voice commands are never accurate. In the trailer for the Kinect features, Bethesda advertises that you can do a quick save before making some stupid decision. What’s the point if the Kinect can’t even recognize what you’re trying to say? The DLC has a lot to live up to.

Thoreau Makes a Video Game Out of all the ridiculous ideas I’ve seen for a video game, this has to be the most mind blowing one. By mind blowing, I mean mind blowingly stupid. I love Henry David Thoreau, I find his works to be enlightening. Walden was a transcendentalist journey into nature and highly philosophical. A group of academics at the University of Southern California were inspired by Walden so much that they decided to make a video game off of it. Yea you read that right. The game is an FPS (without the guns and weaponry of course) and will take place in a cabin in Massachussetts that’s fashioned after the cabin Thoreau stayed in. Actions in the game

involve contemplating a bush, going fishing, checking out the woods, and dealing with life’s most difficult questions. I’m not too sure how the questions thing is going to work out, since Walden doesn’t have too many people to create dialogue with. In all honesty it’s flabbergasting. You can’t discover self reliance and transcendentalism by emulating being in the woods. The creators made it clear that this isn’t supposed to be a replacement for nature, but more of an insight. I know gamers avoid the sun like the plague, but this just takes idiocracy to a new level.

Free Game: Realm of the Mad God Realm of the Mad God is a super cool fantasy multiplayer game that draws on 8-bit themes similar to the Legend of Zelda. If you watch the trailer you get to see how crazy this game can get as far as battling goes. Apparently up to 85 players can play on one screen, and with the type of spells you can cast things are always flying around in all directions.

Anyone with a Kinect can tell you that face recognition is shit and voice commands are never accurate

You get to play as a wizard, and you must find your way out of Oryx’s (the mad God) cavern. He intends on gobbling every single pixel, so you must fight with your 8-bit cane. The game was released on Steam in late February and has been slowly gaining users since. It’s available for download in the Chrome Web Store too. You use W,A,S,D, to move and cast your spells with the spacebar. The tutorial is quick and simple and makes you fight evil chickens. They obviously understood what Link was going through when those chickens attacked him. There’s plenty of quests for you to go through as well. All in all, it’s 8-bit goodness that you can enjoy over the summer. We all know you probably won’t be doing anything productive anyways. Celine Suarez | May 9, 2012



May 9, 2012 |


Photos: Jess Pend


May 9, 2012 |

e & Michael Huerequ Photos: EliWatson

Kappa Delta Chi ’s Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

You’re this week’s winner! Contact us on Facebook to collect $25!*

*If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! Contact us Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!) | May 9. 2012


Super Crossword

Crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.


May 9, 2012 |

the minimom

Clue: u EQUALS b


fresh millions To clear things up, the name Fresh Millions is two words. Yes, there are two Facebook pages out there: one with the name as one word lowercase and one with two words uppercase. Geoff Earle from Fresh Millions explained that he first made the page with one word before they played shows, but promoters ended up spelling it as two words. So he wanted to change it, but after you get so many followers on your page, you can’t change it. His solution? Create a page with the name as two words. Along with this tidbit of information, Earle also discussed with UWeekly the band’s start and people’s first impressions of the members.

How long as Fresh Millions been around? Geoff Earle: That’s hard to say. We’ve had a lot of different members. It may be because I’m too controlling of a personality, but now we’re on 11 total for a three-piece band.

11 members? GE: Yeah. Not all at once, but slowly. I think that it first became a thing years and years ago when I was making beats in my bedroom that I had grand plans to sell to pop labels, because I had a friend that had an in who worked for a pop label and asked me to make some. We made a couple together that almost got picked up. Then I came home from New York after this one trip where we made one that was about to picked up, and he was like, “Make some more. You know you can do it,” and that encouraged me to do it. So I made a bunch of beats. None of them got picked up. They were all a little too weird. A couple of those are actual Fresh Millions songs today. “Forever” and

“I think people are turned off by the fact that Cody’s really built, which is bullshit.”

GE: Yeah. Maybe early on, I should have switched the name of the band whenever we started using lyrics and actual singing or whenever we switched members the first time. But now it’s way too late for that, so maybe everything I ever do will be called Fresh Millions, because that distinction is no longer existing.

It doesn’t seem to fit you. I’ve seen some of your shows. It’s very energetic and a dance party. GE: That’s part of the deal, yeah. But now recently, I started singing on tracks. Nothing that’s released. There’s vocoder on some songs that are out there. “Hot New Jam from ‘73” is out there that has a vocoder and so does “Control Freak.” That’s on the web. That’ll be on album number two as well as a bunch of songs with me singing.

You are a pop guy, and I’ll be honest. I’ve heard of Fresh Millions and I’ve heard some songs and when I saw you on stage, you were not at all what I thought you would look like. I’m sure you get that a lot. GE: Why is that?

“Monty” are the two that are definitely from that era. I think those are the only two that made it. I also have just tons of crappy old ones that will never see the light of day, but that was the beginning. Then we got a guitar player, my friend Danny (Fuller) who was in the band. That was three years ago. Then about two years ago now—yeah, almost exactly two years ago—Danny left for New York and Cody (Skinner) came. Our old drummer Mike (Fonseca) quit, and we got our new drummer Dan (Skarbek). Also in the brief in-between time, we had the drummer and the bass player from The Sword playing in our band. Plus we’ve had vibraphone players every once in awhile.

Because it’s a lot more funky and I guess stereotypes. I don’t know. I just was not expecting that. You know Cody, he’s like athletic-built. I’m OK, making funky, danceable pop music. It’s weird to me.

You just had different extensions of musicians?

GE: Yeah, yeah. I can’t remember the name of the blog.

GE: I think people are turned off by the fact that Cody’s really built, which is bullshit, because it doesn’t matter if someone has muscles. I think that’s hilarious just because of this guy’s physique. Anyway, I read this really, really mean blog post about us this one time.


Fresh Millions’ next show is May 11 at ND Austin with Rickey Jean Francois and Orthy.

Do you feel people have this misconception about you when they see you? Like they get thrown off by how you look? GE: Maybe so. Oh yeah, that negative blog thing... It was something I hadn’t heard of, but it popped up in my Google feed. It was a big old hate thing about how we were buff, and, like, “they should be playing football and not making music.” I’m not even buff by the way, but we both did play football in high school. I think that some people do see that and walk out of the room, because our jeans are not exactly tight. Well, these are. I have to wear these for work. But our frames aren’t exactly svelte and, yeah, I think that people have to have a certain look to... Well, I’ve always been so vehemently opposed to that, but the dudes eventually were like, “Dude, you just have to dress nice when we play, please,” because I would not think about it. Then wear my shitty t-shirts and not like a shitty t-shirt that had a cool band name on it, but the actual shitty t-shirt.

That has been through a washer a couple of times. You’ve had it for years. GE: Yeah, so I realized that image is important. On tour, it was really indicative in hipper places. People would be less into it. I think that’s true of anywhere with any kind of music. People are more into music in Birmingham, Alabama than they are in Williamsburg. There’s no question. Shows in the nicest, most crowded places, those people are jaded so to speak. Same here. We’re way jaded. But, yeah, in Lousiville, Kentucky, people were fucking amped to see us. So that’s not necessarily this way or the other. But I feel like in more highly densely populated areas, people would be turned off by the fact that A) we’re really excited and B) that we’re not very skinny, which, by the way, is total bullshit. You should be able to be excited about your own music. Sarah Vasquez | May 9, 2012




Neil Young Hoot Night @ Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

No other figure looms as large in the annals of rock n’ roll history than old man Young. From country fried southern rockers (Kings of Leon and My Morning Jacket) to the introspective folk leanings of the indie rock world, Neil Young’s music is pure democracy in its eclecticness. Austin’s local music will band together to give tribute to this old master’s rich catalog at the very un-vegas like Hotel Vegas. Tickets: At the door

Three Amigos:

All You Can Eat Tacos @ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Before Steve Martin became a banjo-picking, no-fun art snob, before Chevy Chase got all fat and appeared as minor character on community, before Martin Short disappeared into irrelevance, there was Three Amigos. A staple of the ’90s comedy canon, these three former comedy stars play naive actors who somehow save the day from some evil banditos while getting the chicas bonitas. Feel left out? The Alamo will provide moustaches, cap guns, and margaritas to help you celebrate the people from whom we stole the state of Texas.


Pachanga Music Fest @ Fiesta Gardens

No doubt Austin’s music scene is a quite vanilla-flavored one. Now we can add some of that tasty mexican vanilla to that bland Blue Bell stuff this weekend at the Pachanga Music Fest. Forget the WASP-like Psych Fest, ACL, and FFF; Pachanga celebrates the browner side of life showcasing the latino music community in Austin and beyond. Grammy award-winning band Calle 13 will headline the event; Los Lonely Boys, Alejandro Escavedo and more will serve as the side dish to this mucho caliente musical weekend. Tickets:


The top events & shows in Austin this week Will bass 28

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy


Washed Out

My Education

Black Owl Society

Action Pack: In Da Club Sing-Along

Lil Kim

Weird Wednesday: Vice Squad

Rayon Beach


Grown Up Spelling Bee


Anders Osborne

Nerd Night: The Machines are Learning!

Thousand Foot Whale Claw

Late Show: Santa Sangre

The Mohawk, 912 Red River

Cactus Cafe, 2247 Guadalupe

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces ND, 501 Brushy St

Red 7, 611 E 7th

Swan Dive, 615 Red River Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside Stubb’s, 801 Red River The Parish, 214 E 6th Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

May 9, 2012 |





2815 GU







Inheritance Quartet @ East Side Showroom, 1100 E 6th

No need to travel all the way to Bulgaria to get a taste of Gypsy Jazz. Forget the passport, just check out some deals to the eastside.

R. Kelly @ The Mansion, 8110 Springdale

There is no better way of showing your mother how much you love and appreciate her on Mother’s Day weekend than spending an intimate evening with her and R. Kelly at The Mansion. The fabled R&B star will be performing at this venue that sounds like a strip club (hopefully it is). Tickets:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Pizza Party

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

A staple of any child’s salad days, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles harkens back to the age of innocence when we didn’t require 3D to be entertained. All that we asked for was a little karate, skateboarding, and killer tunes. Ninja Turtles definitely satisfies those above criteria and more. Bonus Level: All you can eat pizza (don’t worry, no anchovies) with your ticket and a surprise ooze desert thing, mmm.

►►Also Worthy

Rock N’ Roll Karaoke Beerland, 711 Red River

The Whiskey Sisters

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Michael Mordecai Jazz Jam Elephant Room, 315 S Congress


Blood Diner @ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th ►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy


Dat Boy Supa

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

Two brothers are guided by the disembodied brain of their favorite occult uncle to find a virgin and prepare a blood buffet to raise cannibal goddess Sheetar! Don’t believe me? Find out for yourself at Terror Tuesday. Tickets:

Smoke and Feathers

LNS Crew

The Mohawk, 912 Red River

►►Also Worthy

Salt N’ Peppa


Rebecca Gates

The Mohawk, 912 Red River

Rebirth Brass Band

Coma in Algiers


Magik Markers

Mother’s Day Brunch

Dog Gone Dead

White Horse, 508 Comal Belmont, 501 E 6th Stubb’s, 801 Red River Red 7, 611 E 7th

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe 29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe | May 9, 2012



►►Cain and Abel’s

2222 Rio Grande

2313 Rio Grande

Mother Plucker Mugs

$8 32 oz. Texas Teas from 7 PM-close

►►Chuggin’ Monkey


219 E 6th

417 E 6th

$2 wells/domestics

$1 Schnapps

►►Blind Pig

►►The Library

317 E 6th

407 E 6th

$2.50 wells/domestics

$1 domestics, wells $2 import bottles

►►Darwin’s Pub

►►Buffalo Billiards

223 E 6th

201 E 6th

$2 Wells/Domestics 12-9 PM

$3 Imperial

►►Mother Egan’s

►►Shakespeare’s Pub

715 W 6th

317 E 6th

$3 Guinness

$4 Bombs


►►Mooseknuckle Pub

409 W 30th

406 E 6th

$4.95 Sangria ritas

$2 Wells/Domestics til 11 PM

►►The Ginger Man

►►Dizzy Rooster

Kung Fu Saloon

Everybody was kung-fu fighting! Well, not exactly, or else everybody would have been promptly escorted out of the bar, but you get the idea. Kung Fu Saloon is a fun time on West Sixth that combines the sophistication of the west side with some of the novelty that makes Dirty Sixth so fun. Loaded with arcade games, a fun atmosphere and 24 beers on tap, Kung Fu Saloon also features a specialty sake menu. Not bad for a place with the word “Kung Fu” in the title, eh? Hi-yah!

Brian Bogart


301 Lavaca

306 E 6th

1004 W 24th

Service Industry Night

$2 Domestic/Wells/Jello Shots

$2 Tecates and Modelo Esp. $5 Deer and Beer

►►Cuba Libre

►►Lavaca Street Bar

►►Third Base

409 Colorado

405 Lavaca

1717 W 6th

$2 Wells

Big Beer Mondays. $6 25oz

$2 Lone Star/Fireman/Shiner

►►Treasure Island

►►Bikini’s Sports Bar & Grill

►►Rain on 4th

413 E 6th

6901 I-35

217 W 4th

.25¢ wells, $1 triples and kamikaze shots, $4 bombs

$4 Big Daddy Drafts

$1.50 Lite Beers, $2.50 Wells


ou whine y to n te s li to e m ti e o we have th


Hell yes we do.

Beard & Bang is currently seeking new talent to represent in Austin, Tx. Send in your sample mp3s, music links, and other band info to If we like what we hear, we’ll get in touch!

Stylish Furniture Package Included w/ 32" Flat Screen TV in Each Living Room · Green Living · Wi-Fi throughout the community 24 hour Play Action Lounge · Concierge Service · Controlled Electronic Building Access · Elevator with electronic key access

24 hour strength and cardio center · Salt water pool with sun deck terrace · Poolside Wifi · Outdoor sportsplex · Private study rooms with computers · Multi-level garage parking · 24 hour emergency maintenance · Private balcony for each apartment Free cable and internet · RoomSync roommate matching service

May 9, 2012  

UWeekly Austin May 9 2012

May 9, 2012  

UWeekly Austin May 9 2012